#azura is supposed to be the one in the very back but. alas. I made her To Dmall

[hybrix-hijinx]

Flight lessons

Happy (so incredibly belated) birthday to Takumi ♡

[sepublic]

Luz’s Self-Punishment?

           I actually think that like Lilith, Luz has a tendency to overtly punish herself for mistakes, she’s just… WAY more productive and efficient about actually fixing the situation, even at the cost of herself- Maybe even especially because of it!

           I say this because Luz makes the understandable mistake of crashing Owlbert, who was fully willing to indulge in Luz’s antics during Escape of the Palisman by taking her to the Glandus game. And obviously Owlbert is also justifiably hurt and maybe reluctant to reconnect with Luz… But it’s also worth observing that Luz is clearly beating herself up mentally over her mistake, she doesn’t hesitate to throw herself into the Bat Queen’s trials and even risk her life to rescue Owlbert!

           And, obviously- Luz is a very impulsive kind of person in general, incredibly brave, and would do anything for her friends. But I am concerned about Luz possibly beginning to see herself as like, a burden, or even someone who keeps hurting people even when she tries to help them… Especially when they tell her not to. Take for example, Luz turning Willow’s memory photo back up because she still wants her and Amity to reconnect… and it leads to Willow’s mind almost being destroyed. Luz’s efforts DO pay off in the end; However, Wing it like Witches has Luz recklessly challenge Boscha to a Grudgby game, over Willow’s honor.

           That’s fine as it is… But the problem is that Luz says that Willow is challenging Boscha. And I think this is a scenario where Luz legit thought she was doing what was best for Willow, that this was of course what Willow wanted… And while she was justifiably mad, I think Luz may have projected some of her own anger onto Willow by assuming she felt the same way, while also seeing an opportunity to play out her Azura fantasies through a Grudgby match; Hence why moments before Boscha drops trash on Willow, Luz looks VERY intrigued by Amity pointing out that Boscha only listens to Grudgby… Amity wasn’t at all suggesting Luz challenge her to a game, but Luz is remembering that Azura movie she brought up earlier, and getting ideas.

           So when Luz does recognize she made a mistake… I think she’s just a tad too eager to both take on ALL of the responsibility and repercussions, but also doesn’t do too much to vouch for herself when Boscha starts attacking. Now, you could argue that this is just Luz being kind of impulsive and thoughtless, not thinking of herself in a genuinely forgetful way, while also not anticipating Boscha to be THAT intense; But I have to wonder if Luz will sometimes shoulder the blame and burden of her mistakes too much. Just as Amity did when she cut herself off from Grudgby after accidentally injuring Boscha and Amelia that one time… And it’s interesting that Luz is inspired to take all of the blame after Amity recounts this story; And it’s Amity who realizes what’s up and thus goes out to get Willow’s help.

           Or, take Witches before Wizards! Luz enrolls in Adegast’s Quest, wanting to play out her fantasies, and does so on her own, on her own terms… Ideally only Luz should be in danger, if any comes around; And yet Eda and King still get involved to rescue Luz, and Luz finds out that her getting into this quest was what endangered them in the first place, because she was meant to be a hostage! Then we have Agony of a Witch; Eda tells Luz to just mind her own business and be happy, and not concern herself. But not only is Luz legit scared for Eda… She also expresses a desire to ‘pay her back’, as if Luz thinks the happiness she provides isn’t enough. As if Luz feels she’s inadequate, perhaps a burden…

           Which, matches with Luz being the child of Camila, who’s single and occupied with the VERY time-intensive job of being a nurse, and is already stressful as-is. I think Luz quietly taught herself to not try to be a burdern on Camila… Or at least thought that was what she became, when her mother agreed to send her to Reality Camp. This is her mom, who objectively loves her and is supposed to, and likely was the only one supporting and indulging in Luz’s interests for her entire life. So when Luz DOES meet Eda and King, Willow and Gus, or Amity… While she’s still very much herself in a lot of ways, an utter weirdo and a cryptid;

           I AM concerned that Luz is going to be too conscious of the impact she has on others, a bit too much. She went ahead with trying to help Eda’s curse despite Eda telling her not to… And it led to a disastrous heist at Belos’ castle that led to Eda being captured and losing all of her magic, permanently. Luz let Willow and Gus help her in the heist, and they got in trouble as well… And I’m afraid that maybe Luz is beginning to think that any time she tries to help others, she just makes things worse. And/or, Luz feels like she should do things on her own so her loved ones don’t get involved… But even when she tries to in Witches before Wizards, her actions directly lead to Eda and King being captured.

           Am I saying Luz is a bad or thoughtless person? Absolutely not- She can be a bonehead sometimes, but all of her mistakes are completely understandable. Luz needs to remember that a lot of her friends chose to get involved for Luz’s sake, they mutually care for her and vice-versa, she is by no means a burden and her own presence lights up their world. Eda reassures Luz that she chose to sacrifice herself for the girl, and hopefully the advice will stick there… But even so, Luz is a fourteen-year-old who was ostracized for a LONG time.

          She’s no doubt been conditioned to think of herself as a screw-up who hurts people… Hurts her mother by lying to her, Luz should’ve been honest when she had the chance; Hurting Amity by accidentally reading her diary when she just wanted to be friends… Making a statement that Viney and the others justifiably take out-of-context, but Luz interprets this not just as Viney and the others being valid in their initial fears; She thinks it means she HAS done wrong and hurt people, and so she accepts Viney’s rejection without a second thought and really lets it get to her.

           I’ve seen others speculate that Luz has Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and I really think this could be the case? Luz normally is herself, but lately, when things suggest otherwise… Luz starts to doubt her world-views, at least in application to herself- For others she’ll always vouch for them! But it takes a lot to love oneself… Take for example, Luz clearly berating herself for being too forward with Amity when she tries to initially approach her in Lost in Language, perhaps acting on some confirmation bias; That if Luz fails, then clearly this means she shouldn’t have tried in the first place, and of course nobody is interested in her.

           Luz knows to unapologetically be herself and encourage others to, and then fully support them… But does she expect a lot of support herself? Is Luz resigned to the idea of being rejected either way, so she just goes ahead with who she is… And just waits to see what people DO respond to her, without getting her hopes up? Luz gives it a try, see what happens- And if they don’t respond, alas. If they DO respond… New friend, and Luz can get a bit carried away. Like her plan for Willow to sneak into Hexside and get a better grade… Luz was also legitimately altruistic, but I certainly hope that Luz doesn’t blame herself for getting Willow into trouble, especially since Willow ended up in the Plant Track because of her. Like Eda, Luz has accepted being herself unapologetically and not needing the approval of others- But Eda was also clearly lonely for a while too, having to wait for fellow weirdoes to resonate with her and reciprocate. For Luz, I imagine it’s a very different scenario with just passively waiting for someone to respond to your open invitations about who you are…

           …VS actively WANTING someone, wanting them to accept you, etc., hence Luz’s apprehension about confessing to Camila. And maybe this could lead to some dynamic between her and Amity, where Luz doesn’t know how to handle actively desiring a connection with a specific person that may or may not fully reciprocate her… Luz loves intensely and affectionately and she focuses on making others happy so they don’t suffer like her; Is there the fear, the resignation that they won’t return the same? And that’s okay because they’re already doing so much for Luz just by tolerating a screw-up like her and her mistakes…? Coupled with how stressed Amity is and the abuse she has, and Luz might be afraid that Amity won’t ever feel the same way- So Luz should just be content with what she has, and then not move forward. Don’t get her hopes up.

           Believe me, I don’t find this at all contradictory with my past takes of Luz as being someone who constantly asks why can’t she have it all, both for herself and others… I think she’s rightfully defiant and demanding in that self-respecting way, thanks to Eda especially. But when it comes to emotional love and whatnot, that kind of intimate connection, unconditional kindness and favors… I’m not sure if Luz ever expects that from others, nor does she ask it of them? It’s of course because she’s so kind and selfless towards people, her own demands and challenges towards the system are also into consideration of others just like her.

           But maybe it’s because Luz is partially demanding because she sees it as helping others in a roundabout way… Or she’s only ever like this with strangers, with people she expects to already not think much of her, to not accept her, so Luz doesn’t have too much qualms with trying to be all perfect and subdued for them… But for people who DO accept Luz, it suddenly feels like a lot of pressure and responsibility, because she’s not used to this. She doesn’t want to screw it up, making friends who like her, because this is so rare, and it requires a lot more mutual reciprocation from others, VS an attempt to change the system or fight against the law, cause a prison break, etc.

           Luz seems like the person who can handle learning a lost form of magic, fighting monstrous demons, all that jazz incredibly well; But when it comes to navigating actual emotional relationships, Luz has a lot more difficult navigating. Sometimes she copes with her fear by just going for it, sometimes she forgets about it entirely in her eager excitement, getting her hopes up… But in general, I don’t want Luz to think that she actively causes trouble for people, and that she hasn’t done enough to deserve the people who actively choose to be around her; Much less Luz’s potential apprehension about not being enough for someone she ‘forces’ interaction with because she wants to be with them, like Amity. I think Luz’s growing mistakes and incidents could contribute towards a growing sense of being a screw-up in her own way… And when you’re an insecure teen, you tend to forget about and disregard your good actions in hindsight, even as you’re performing them.

           While Luz’s efforts do sometimes pay off, it’s usually after something goes wrong and everyone grapples with the situation. Sometimes Luz has to wonder if it could’ve been done in a much better way, and if her friends had to do too much heavy-lifting to make things right, to pick up after Luz’s mess- Like maybe her friends could’ve just fixed this on their own, it was only Luz getting into a mess that made them get involved sooner rather than later. The thing about Luz’s mistakes is that a lot of them are understandable, or while bad, nevertheless escalate past a point she could’ve feasibly expected, so maybe she’s being too hard on herself for the consequences.

           I think Lilith is someone who also has an issue with this, as does King- And both have learned to confront that they cause messes that they didn’t intend, but still contributed towards. Of course, King is way more adjusted than Lily… And I can see Lilith and Luz potentially bonding over that feeling of being ‘cursed’, like any attempt to make things better for others just causes problems… And they’re already so much of a liability and a burden as-is. Even when they do things alone and for themselves, issues for their loved ones can develop as a direct result… So maybe they should just cut ties? To protect the ones they care for… Besides, their loved ones probably don’t need them THAT much anyway, their friends are too cool for losers like them.

           I kind of feel like Luz and Lilith could have a potential issue of really undervaluing themselves and their achievements… That when they do bring them up, they don’t really mean it and it’s just a shallow attempt at making themselves feel good- But deep inside they know it means nothing. Lilith knows that being Head Witch of the Emperor’s Coven means nothing, not without Eda’s approval, and especially because she got it as a hand-me-down from Eda… But she still boasts of it anyway to invite other witches, and to lie to herself. If Eda contrasts with Lilith and can teach her sister to engage in some self-love… Then consider that Eda does the same to Luz; And what this could say about Luz and Lilith as two people on the receiving end of Eda’s support, who have a lot to learn and benefit from Eda and already have.

           Maybe Luz expects herself to do a lot, because she recognizes that she IS a lot… So she tries to take advantage of this, and tries to compensate for past failures, by doing something good with it. This isn’t to say that Luz never acts in her self-interest, ever, because she’s still a fourteen-year-old kid with a loving and supportive family, who’s allowed to have fun and has still had genuinely positive lessons and growth in the Boiling Isles… Any issues she suffers in the Boiling Isles, if Luz gets them, would’ve been less worse than that of the Reality Camp, minus the physical harm bit of course. But that doesn’t seem to register to Luz that much because that’s not what really matters to her in the end.

           Regardless, I’m afraid that Luz is going to pick up on the idea that each time she innocently tries to go forward and do something for herself and/or others, without their permission… It just makes things worse, forcing others to not only fix the problem, but also make things better so Luz doesn’t mess up again. In other words, Luz probably thinks her friends are doing all of the actual work in making things better, which could play into how Luz thinks the world of her loved ones and is incredibly supportive of them. Perhaps she thinks they’re way cooler than her, too cool for Luz… It’s not too much of a prevalent issue NOW, I think, but it could be in the future. Luz could begin to wean herself off from doing what she enjoys, just for herself, because she thinks she’s a screw-up…

          And then her friends have to reassure her otherwise about everything, that even if Luz seems to be a disaster-magnet, it’s part of the charm and not her fault, she shouldn’t hold herself back! If anything, Luz should keep weaponizing her chaotic energy, making the most of what she has as always! Considering the school system that Luz grew up in, and how she’s ND-coded… I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of schools really punished her and forced Luz to dwell a lot on her mistakes, without much room for productively fixing things; It’s a common neurodivergent experience to be unproductively yelled at for messing up, and then to internalize that. And it could contribute to Luz focusing on what she’s done wrong over what she’s done right. If Amity is learning to love herself, then… I sincerely hope Luz isn’t contrasting, by learning to doubt herself. Especially since the Boiling Isles has been almost objectively superior to the Reality Camp; Because there, she would’ve REALLY internalized even worse lessons, and not gained any of the good ones.

           Now, maybe I’m looking too deep into it; But hey, what if I’m right? At the very least this provides food for thought… You may as well take a chance, because what do you have to lose if you’re wrong- Nothing! But if you don’t try, you could lose the opportunity to really think and enjoy and anticipate something… And be right, or wrong- Either way you had fun!

[talldarkandroguesome]

8th of Frostfall, Fredas

I suppose it would have been too much to ask for there not to have been a huge commotion after everything that happened with Chodala and his refusal to listen to reason when denied the title of Nerevarine. 

Tel came up to me as I was leaving Seryn to recover, going to get some food and water for her. Tel asked me what all had happened and why were so many people seemingly aggitated.

I informed them that things had gone bad. Very bad. Chodala had not liked being denied and ended up having his Red Exiles attack everyone there and then run off, still wielding the staff.

Tel insisted I tell Nenet at once. I told him I would, but that it had to be fast, for once Seryn recovered, we were leaving to track down Chodala and try to stop him before things got worse.

That seemed to shock Tel, but I headed to where the Armigers and Nenet had made their camp, not letting Tel have a chance to speak yet.

Nenet seemed hopeful when I approached, until she saw my face. I explained everything to here as I had to Tel, and she grew cross with me about not being informed about the meeting or being allowed to join in. I told her that it was a meeting that not even I would normally be privy to, only the wise women and ashkhan and a few other select individuals from each tribe were even allowed to attend.

When she wanted to argue, I cut her off, there was so little time. I told her as much. I said that after the attack, Chodala had run off and some of the warriors went after him, but a light from the staff seemed to protect him.

Nenet asked for more information and I explained it seemed almost like some kind of divine shield.  She cursed and said she hoped that maybe it was something that Vivec would understand and even know a work around, something to get passed it.

I mentioned that Azura had possessed Seryn and warned that Chodala would be invincible so long as he possessed the staff.

Tel made an offhanded comment about me and my always being wrapped up into incidents with the Anticipations. I told him we did not have the time to start getting into all of that right now. We had more serious issues to discuss. Because Azura also told me that the more Chodala used the staff, the more of Vivec’s powers he would take. That left to his own devices, Chodala will become a god in Vivec’s stead. The consequences of which, well... best not to even start thinking about how terrible that would be. At the least, one of the three of them should go and warn Vivec.

Nenet agreed that she definitely needed to see Vehk and see what he might be able to do to help them out. She asked when I could be ready to go with them.

Gethan seemed rather sad that Chodala did not turn out to be the Nerevarine. I understood his disappointment, it would have been amazing to have a possible unification of the Dunmer people and to have met the Nerevarine. Alas, things were so very much more grave than that.

I said that Seryn and I were going after Chodala. We needed to keep an eye on him and try to keep him from using the staff as much as possible. That I had to stop him, since we had not been able to do so with reason. If nothing else, if we could delay him from whatever violent takeover he was going to attempt, we would at least be protecting people.

Tel asked me to send word as soon as we had a location on Chodala and to let them know where to come when they had the information they needed.

I agreed and pulled Tel close and kissed them, not caring that Nenet was there. I told him to be careful. Then I said the same to Gethan. I told them all that Azura was worried about Vivec, so things were going to be bad. They needed to pay special attention to any signs that he was weakening and try to help him bolster his strength.

Then I rushed off, got the food and drink and packed for Seryn while she got back her strength. I made sure to get a few extra magicka and health potions from the tribes and we headed out.

It did not take long before we picked up on Chodala’s trail and we have been hurrying ever since. Taking only short breaks, one of us sleeping while the other keeps watch, we were able to, hopefully, catch up with him.

With a shield to protect him and the siphoned power of a god, we knew that he would likely feel comfortable enough to take proper rest.

I only hope we can find him quickly. The fate of all residing on Vvardenfell, if not all of Morrowind, rest in our hands.

[yukiwrites]

Corrin, Being Supportive

Thank you so much for the support as always, @xpegasusuniverse! And Happy birthdayyy! :D<

Summary: Xander and Ryoma found themselves in a hidden room inside Corrin’s quarters. In there, they found a very unsettling amount of information regarding their allies’ relationships with one another, which Corrin dubbed as ‘Support Board’

Commission info HERE and HERE!

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The Astral Realm.

No matter how grim the situation looked on the world outside; no matter how much time passed and how weary the soldiers were, the Astral Realm never changed.

After both hoshidan and nohrian army joined forces to fight alongside Corrin against their true enemy, the soldiers could feel the walls they had built around themselves fall one by one.

Be it inside the Astral Realm or during battle in Valla against their mysterious enemies, both armies mingled as one with Corrin standing at their center, eager to see everyone getting along.

It had been a most smooth transition, from decades-long enemies to fast friends in such a short amount of time. If one stopped to think about it, it would actually feel rather scary, but alas, there were more pressing matters to attend to. Like winning the war, for instance.

Enjoying the pleasant late afternoon climate, Crown Prince Xander of Nohr walked with decisive steps towards the Master's Quarters inside the AR, his frown deep as usual.

From a distance, High Prince Ryoma of Hoshido spotted his counterpart and, still not able to discern an actual annoyed frown from the usual frown, called out to him. "Prince Xander!" He called from afar, closing in their distance as the nohrian stopped on his tracks. "May I ask where are you going with such a fierce look in your eyes? Did the enemy infiltrate our base?"

"Why, Prince Ryoma," Xander blinked in almost surprise, his harsh expression not alleviating. "Forgive me if my perpetual frown has thrown you off -- I am merely taking a walk while enjoying the climate. I do not suppose you wish to join me?"

"A walk? Surely you jest, Prince Xander. Your steps were much too decisive to be simply walking aimlessly."

"Ah, I suppose you HAVE come to know me, after all." The Crown Prince flashed an almost smile, lifting his gaze to the large tree he had been making his way to. "I am actually heading to Corrin's quarters to retrieve something he borrowed but keeps forgetting to return."

Resuming their walk, Ryoma followed Xander closely. "Oh? Might I ask what it is?"

Xander shrugged slightly, keeping his eye on the path ahead. "It is merely a book, a very old one I have been meaning to read once more."

"A book... Very well." Not really believing what Xander was saying, but not finding any evidence to the contrary, Ryoma simply concurred as they made their way into the master's chambers, unabashedly opening the bedroom to start their search. "Could you enlighten me on its characteristics, Prince Xander? For example, the color of the cover..."

Looking through a bookcase, Xander went through all of the books stacked in there. "It is green."

"Very well..." Ryoma glanced at Xander's general direction before returning to his own search, near Corrin's desk.

A few minutes into the search and a green covered book was still nowhere to be seen until- "Oh, what do we have here..." Xander mused as he felt a draft coming from behind the bookcase.

Moving a specific book out of its way made the entire case whirr and emit crackling sounds, slowly moving out of the way to reveal a hidden chamber. "How fascinating." Xander said simply, stepping into the room with one hand over his chin.

Surprised, Ryoma jumped in behind Xander. "What's the meaning of this? A hidden room in Corrin's quarters? Did you know of this, Prince Xander-"

"I had an inkling, yes." The Crown Prince replied, looking at a very large cork board stapled at the wall facing the entrance to the small room.

Ryoma glanced at the board, then at the piles and piles of paper stacked over a secretary right beside it. "Is this perhaps the reason-"

"Nonsense, I truly am looking for the green book."

"... Right." Ryoma shifted his weight from one leg to the other. "Mayhap we should leave- this is betrayal of Corrin's trust."

"Betrayal? Such harsh words, Prince Ryoma. Unethical at best." Xander replied without so much glancing at the hoshidan, his eyes focused on the cork board and its contents.

There were... dozens of hand drawn portraits pinned onto it. Portraits of their most trusted allies from both hoshidan AND nohrian army alike. Upon closer inspection, they seemed to be divided precisely like that: hoshidans occupied one side of the board while nohrians governed the other, with a few neutral units amassing the middle: Azura, Jakob, Felicia, Kaze, Silas, Mozu as well as Corrin himself.

That wasn't the most impressive -- or rather, disturbing -- part of it, not by a long shot.

The portraits were connected to others by differently colored strings; hundreds of them. Red ones, green ones, blue ones, black ones... everything was meticulously organized, to the point of bringing a chill to both princes' bones.

"Wha-t... is the meaning of this?" Ryoma frowned deeply, feeling a primal urge to run away, his flight reflex blaring to take him out of there. His eyes fell upon the stacks of paper by the secretary while Xander examined the strings on the board.

He had always known Corrin to be a very... meticulous and prepared person. During their strategy lessons, Corrin would always take his time to prepare and position each unit after giving serious thought. It was no surprise that he would devise such an elaborate plan to unify their forces.

But, by the gods, the accuracy of it all was rather unsettling. Xander noticed right away the true correlation between the colored strings to the person's relationship with another's: His eyes had taken him to follow the red string connecting Silas and Hinoka, making him remember the day the knight and the hoshidan princess announced their engagement to everyone in camp.

The black line connecting Oboro and half of the nohrian soldiers made Xander nod in realization, as well. Black strings meant they were enemies, or at least people they wouldn't get along with. Red strings meant love... But how could Corrin have such an insight of people's hearts like that? Was he observing them all that intently?

"What about the green and blue ones..." Xander muttered to himself, using his index to help him navigate the cluster of strings. He could see that he, Leo, Camilla, Elise and Corrin himself were connected by green strings, so perhaps they meant familial bonds... "Or rather not," he mused as he saw the same green string connecting him to Ryoma. Perhaps it meant a budding trust, as opposed to the blue string... which he saw connecting his own portrait to Mozu, a girl from an abandoned village Xander had interacted once or twice.

Blue meant neutral ground, perhaps. Acquaintances, even.

"Prince Xander, you will not believe what is written in these documents." Ryoma broke the silence with a huff, his heart growing cold.

"Try me," the nohrian prince replied, focused on finding where the red string connected to his portrait led to.

The High Prince took a deep breath before reading the document aloud. "Day 254, I have come to the conclusion that I shouldn't have had paired Niles and Oboro to battle; they almost killed each other! Well, Oboro almost impaled Niles 'by accident', so I've decided to give up on seeing their bond grow further than this. She did get better while talking to Benny, though, so I might go back to see how she and Niles interact after her feelings cool down a bit. Day 255, onto Niles and Setsuna, then! I'm having very good vibes about these two, so I'm sure they can develop their bonds much faster and become closer than intended... Or perhaps, as close as I hoped! I hope their love blooms just like Subaki and Felicia's did, way back in Day 23... What a sight to behold!"

"What a cheery manner of speech," Xander commented, trying to ignore the blatant emotional manipulation going on with his little brother and their army, though it looked like not even Corrin realized how shrewd all of that sounded.

"This- this is...!" Ryoma almost dug a hole into the paper he held, his body shaking with rage. "Is he toying with us?!"

At that moment, the clatter of a door opening made both princes look over their shoulder to find the owner of the room gasping at the sight of them inside the hidden room.

"Oh! Whoops, I guess you two found out!" Corrin said with a carefree giggle, spots of red flushing his face. "I-"

"What's the meaning of this, Corrin? For how long have you been emotionally manipulating our family and allies like this?" Ryoma waved the paper in front of Corrin's face, making the dragon prince flinch.

"I must say I agree with Prince Ryoma here, Corrin. I did not think of you as someone to use such underhanded tactics-"

"Oh no, but that sounds so mean!" Corrin jumped to get the papers from Ryoma's hand, quickly organizing them back into their stack. "I just want to see everyone getting along, so I made a chart of sorts!"

Ryoma and Xander exchanged glances. "That is far from a mere chart, Corrin. It is a rather unsettling sight."

"Weh? B-but I took a long time to make it... See, I even color-coded the relationships-"

"I am aware of their meaning," Xander interrupted. "I still fail to understand how did you manage to gather so much personal information about our allies to the point of making such a... detailed report."

"I call it Support Board, thank you very much." Corrin pouted. "I just realized that our bonds usually grow stronger much faster whenever we're paired in battle! I mean, the thrills of such a life and death situation makes anyone drop their guard around someone who got them covered, right? And then they become fast friends! I just want people to get along so there won't be any more need of war..."

Ryoma scowled. "Our feelings do not matter, Corrin? By your logic, you are placing people from either side together to force a relationship-"

"H-huh? But I never forced anyone to go out of their way to buy rings and propose marriage, you know? I just found that they might get along well and see what happens... It ends up surprising me more often than not!"

By the sincerity in the dragon prince's words, Xander could see that despite the unsettling and somehow nauseating nature of the so-called Support Board, Corrin meant well. It still felt a bit, nay, largely disturbing, however.

Ryoma wasn't still convinced.

"I understand your reasoning, Little Prince-"

"Wait, I do not." Ryoma took a step forward. "This is no mere joke, Corrin. If the others found out about this, our entire army could collapse. We are building a fighting force based on mutual trust and confidence in YOU as our leader. To see that you are using this authority to set up 'friendly'," he made a disgusted sound, "interactions between the soldiers is manipulative at best, tyrannical at worst! You are looking deeply into the people's hearts and throwing them around to fit your whim."

Confused, Corrin looked up at his brothers. "I really think you're overreacting a bit, Ryoma. As you said, I may be using my authority to make people get along, but is that so bad? They're developing deeper bonds than they would have if I had left them alone! I'm just giving them the little push they need to interact and bridge the gaps between our nations through friendship and true love rather than, I dunno, forced marriages or something."

"True love?!" Ryoma hissed as Xander flickered his brow. "You are emotionally manipulating them- us!"

"Surely you cannot think we will find true love during battle because you have paired us with other people, do you, Corrin?" Xander crossed his arms, imposing. Corrin tilted his head to the side in confusion.

"But... aren't the two of you getting along reaaaally well with Charlotte," he pointed to Xander, then to Ryoma, "and Camilla? I only did the first push to make you interact, and now your feelings are doing the talking, are they not?"

Both princes widened their eyes, their memories with the aforementioned women flashing inside their minds.

It was true. Ryoma did feel attracted to Camilla's natural charms to the point of wanting to get to know her better to ultimately enjoy her company because of her personality instead. The same could be said for Xander's situation.

Frowning, the princes utterly despised to feel as though they were being used, but they couldn't deny that their hearts were truly doing the talking.

Was such behavior acceptable? Would they truly come to think of Corrin's Support Board as something that ultimately brings joy instead of creeping them out?

They started doubting their own feelings, not wanting to accept them simply because they found the idea of being pushed into the relationship unacceptable despite not ever feeling the push in the first place.

Corrin could almost hear the gears moving inside his brother's brains, smiling to himself due to another job well done. It wouldn't matter if they had found out about the Support Board.

They would follow along Corrin's directions... whether they wanted it or not.

"Heh," Corrin giggled darkly, enjoying the troubled expressions of his brothers. "Such fun."

[gascon-en-exil]

I Liked Fates Before It Was Cool!: Birthright Part 1

Prologue

Opening Chapters

Chapters 6-11, in which Hoshido’s military is extremely disorganized and only regroups because the mere idea of Ryoma is just that awesome.

Chapter 6

Not much to say here. Corrin tells Xander they’re siding with Hoshido against Garon and implores him to do the same, Xander accuses them of being brainwashed and, after repeated refusals, tries to kill Corrin. Following this is a chapter that will probably be finished during the first enemy phase unless Ryoma gets really unlucky. I suppose it makes sense that this is the shortest of the three versions of Chapter 6 as Corrin went to the border already with the Hoshidans. While it’s kind of neat that all the Hoshidan royals are playable on this map as a bit of a preview, note that this is the fourth of just seven chapters in which Ryoma has appeared as a unit prior to his formal recruitment. We get it already, the guy’s an OP powerhouse and a clear favorite of the writers.

This is also where I should probably bring up My Castle, but I don’t have much to say here as it was never a feature I particularly enjoyed. Other FEs have addressed the concept of a base for your army integrated into gameplay far better than this. Genealogy and the Tellius games and others may not let you perv on your units taking a bath or disgust them with your horrendous cooking, but what does that really add to the experience? I know, I know, a bunch of small and scattered stat boosts....

Chapter 7

Oh, silly banter in the middle of an attack while surrounded by wounded and dying soldiers. Never change, FE. But seriously, even if he’s just Cordelia with a dick whose semen produces more Cordelias let’s take the time to appreciate that Subaki is the series’s first playable male pegasus knight. Fates’s take on classes is actually very egalitarian, a fact that often gets lost in its sea of fanservice and subtle story-enforced misogyny and everything about <insert character whose gender/sexuality-related presentation offends you most>. Moving on.

I’m still not entirely clear what happens to the Hoshidan army between this chapter and the preceding one. They really appear to just break ranks and scatter: Corrin and co. go fool around in the astral plane with Lilith, Ryoma and Takumi lead some of their forces toward Izumo (why?), no one cares about Hinoka, and Sakura retreats here to Fort Jinya to tend to the wounded at a makeshift military hospital. It makes sense that the Hoshidan army wouldn’t have the strictest organization thanks to their years of protection under Mikoto’s barrier, but the problem is the game never tells us that and we’re left to infer these things based on the events of the next few chapters.

The Nohrians meanwhile are still on the offensive, but they screwed up by sending Silas’s unit to attack the fort. Silas has an unhealthy attachment to Corrin that frankly rivals Camilla’s, and his abrupt defection here because he wants to hang out with his partially amnesiac BFF undoubtedly bodes ill for anyone associated with him when news of it reaches Nohr. I guess it’s cute in my case that Silas’s obsession with Corrin knows no gender, but the guy probably steals underwear to sniff. Saizo is entirely justified in being suspicious of him.

Paralogue 1

Oh yeah, I forgot all about this chapter. Mozu’s just not as memorably meme-worthy as Donnel, and recruiting her is less frustrating since you’re not forced to make her poke things in her joining chapter. It does make the Faceless seem like more of a threat to Hoshido, although as a consequence playing through this paralogue in Conquest always feels a little weird. This plus the first Castle Invasion were mostly for EXP and support farming. For anyone wondering, I’m going to be keeping most of my characters in their default class sets since I don’t feel like grinding skills or anything elaborate like that. Also, I’m playing on Normal, so I’ve got a lot of latitude in how I play which is how I prefer FE anyway.

Chapter 8

Hinoka sums up my feelings on her and her retainers. Azama’s got some amusing lines and if I knew more about Buddhism his...interesting take on philosophy would probably be even funnier, but that’s about it. And yeah, Hinoka really just does pop onto the scene with no explanation except that she’s also trailing her brothers and I guess everyone really did forget about her. Sucks to be a late development addition.

Iago tosses the conflict ball to ensure the party’s trip to the Wind Tribe village is a rough one, though since Fuga was set on testing Corrin’s worth by sending a bunch of his tribesmen to get slaughtered by their army anyway I wonder why he even bothered. This is a rare case of a desert map that isn’t a frustrating pain in the ass, because it’s small and there are Dragon Veins to reduce the amount of sand. I also like how even on the lowest difficulty of the easiest route the game is already throwing a boss at you with some annoying skills. Fuga’s motivations may be silly, but at least he leaves us with the memory of a good chapter, some cryptic foreshadowing for the Yato, and a shota wind mage who unfortunately continues in the tradition of Ricken stepping away from their archetypical dynamic after Tellius made it just a little too close to explicitly gay.

Chapter 9

Izana, huh...Izana is...

Let’s talk about Zola!

Zola is one of the rare Fates villains who isn’t (always) exactly what he looks like. On first glance he’s just a typical simpering syncophant with a fitting talent for illusions, but he actually comes with a bit of a character arc in Birthright which I have to say I wasn’t expecting. It was almost as unexpected as Leo’s unexplained appearance at the end of this chapter to kick off said arc by leaving Zola exiled. One big problem I have with Fates is how characters have a tendency to teleport around off-screen as the plot demands it, distance between locations or basic geography be damned, but it’s marginally more forgivable here since Leo is shown later in this route to know how to perform literal teleportation.

I believe this is also one of the only times in Birthright where Hinoka gets to do something that affects the plot, so good on her for acting suspicious of fake!Izana. She’ll go right back to being overshadowed by her brothers - including being overshadowed at being overshadowed - soon enough.

Izumo’s role as the designated neutral nation is delved into more thoroughly in Conquest, weirdly enough. Here Corrin and co. get left only with a vague directive to head toward the Bottomless Canyon and some of Azura’s song lyrics. That’s kind of a good thing, because I’ve got nothing on Izana now. I get that he’s an amusing surprise the first time around, but...who wrote him like that?

Chapter 10

Allow me to divert for a moment from the Takumi angst to pick some very large nits with the geography of this game. In the previous chapter Corrin learned that Ryoma and Takumi had been pushed to the Bottomless Canyon, which is nowhere near their location - but hold onto that thought. The canyon is clearly northwest of Izumo, yet the party goes south to Mokushu allegedly in an effort to reach them there. Fates has a bad time in general with giving a good impression of where its events are taking place, partly because the scale of the map is odd and not helped by it being a topographic rather than a political map like in every other FE, partly because there are times like this where the information presented appears to be simply wrong. What’s worse, the major plot development surrounding Takumi’s possession in Birthright does not, at least so far as I recall, necessitate that he have been possessed by Anankos or anyone else connected to the Bottomless Canyon. I’ll certainly be revisiting this when the time comes.

But...whatever. In spite of everyone getting lost except Ryoma (because of course) this is actually a good chapter, with a cramped map filled with environmental hazards to add challenge. The treachery of Mokushu spans all three routes and is one of those set pieces that benefits from development in each of them. Kotaro’s connection to the, er, Christmas ninjas (and elsewhere, Shura) isn’t developed here unless you choose to have them engage him in combat, but that just saves stuff for the other routes. 

Chapter 11

Pictured: easily one of the most forgettable playable characters in this game. It’s a shame too, because she’s the only default kinshi knight and her bits of dialogue and few supports offer hints of an interesting backstory that would speak to gender roles in Hoshido. Alas, she’s merely a Corrinsexual.

This chapter itself is filler, but mechanically it’s good filler. Your new OP archer royal gets plenty of targets for his bow, there are some promoted generics to spice things up, and the Dragon Veins can either help or hinder you depending on how you use them. I don’t care for the antagonist fake-out between the opening and closing cutscenes and the chapter proper - where did possessed!Sumeragi the mysterious swordsman go while you were fighting the fliers? - but that’s a minor quibble. Corrin already beat that guy.

A larger problem is with Takumi’s development, or rather lack thereof. As I said last time the events of the opening chapters explain his initial hostility to Corrin (and Azura) quite well, and Mikoto’s death only reinforces that feeling. Why then does that hostility vanish so quickly in Birthright? Just one chapter after recruitment and he’s already turned his characteristic prickliness onto Zola instead, and I don’t recall it appearing much again except in the context of possession. It’s only the route the ends with Takumi as the final boss that allows him space for his feelings to develop organically (albeit in a negative direction), possibly because Conquest is the only one in which he’s not beholden to love Corrin like all playable characters in Avatar-centered games.

Next time: Birthright Chapter 12 - 18

[sakurafoxtail]

The Meeting (A Sakura x Malora Story ))

Authors note: My take on how Sakura and Malora first met, it’s not perfect but I tried my best and like I said it’s not perfect but I had fun with it none the less also some background on Sakura herself. Since I redid her whole origins and gave it some more concreteness.

The estate was fairly large, having few places to hide but no one paid much mind to the chocobo stables. A miqote sat among the horse birds watching her fellow free company members bustle about on their usual business. She liked it that way no one ever paid her much mind to often caught up in their own endeavors. “Where is that new girl..” a thought randomly came to the miqote as her ears twitched sensing something behind her but putting it to the back of her mind assuming one of the chocobos was just making a noise. There was a new member that had recently joined... the others were polite with their words but their eyes betrayed them. Their eyes showed signs of distrust and weariness and the stranger, the new girl seemed about as out casted as the miqote felt. “This is a odd place to hang out, don’t you think? You know I hear Miqote’s senses are sensitive..” A voice trailed from behind the miqote who sat hugging her knees, a hyur’s face dipped down in front of the miqote staring at her with pale sky blue eyes. “I prefer it here! and didn’t anyone teach you its rude to sneak up on someone!” pale red slits glared at the white haired hyur woman who stifled a giggle as she stood straight and skipped over in front of the cat woman that was clearly unamused with her. “Well yes but you looked lonely..” her voice seemed apologetic it made the cat’s ears lower almost in shame, least one could only assume. “Just forget it... what did you want anyways?” she mumbled before looking up to see a hand held out to her “Like I said you looked lonely, Malora, Malora Lyra, and you are?” there was a moment silence as the miqote hugged her knees closer as if to hide behind them, or they were a wall that separated her from Malora and her extended hand of what one could only assume was friendship. “Sakura... Sakura Foxtail” she finally said in a light tone, staring at the hand as if it was some foreign gesture or trick. “People usually aren’t nice me” she added before letting her knees go, as her legs straightened out she gently but cautiously took Mal’s hand, helping herself up with the hyur’s help. “Don’t think we’re friends!” she quickly added in a hiss which was only accompanied by the humans laughter. “Of course not.” there was a hint of sarcasm but the miqote hid her smile by letting her raven black hair fall over her face. Sakura led a pretty solitude life, she was a loner that was taken in by this estates company but the life here had never been easy she always felt alone, no one made any efforts to show her anything that dispelled the loneliness but this stranger... was different not that it made Sakura happy, or rather it did but also pissed her off. It made her feel conflicted she was so use to being alone and not bothered and people always went away in the end. No. To let this person in now would risk them to leave later, right? “It’s getting late, I should go!” Sakura exclaimed realizing she still had Mal’s hand and let it go stumbling clumsily away from Malora and into the medium sized house which sat on the free companies estate. Sakura had no room of her own or a home so she usually slept in the chocobo stables. After some time passed and Malora was out of sight the miqote snuck back outside and into the stables curling up by a beautiful blue chocobo. “Hi sweetie” she whispered in answer to the gentle “KWEH!” which was followed by a gentle peck on Sakura’s ears followed by a genuine giggle of happiness. Sakura cuddled into the feathers, a wing covering her like a blanket as she drifted off to sleep. They had been together for so long, if she had one friend only it was this chocobo. Malora had not been wrong her senses use to be sensitive but she’d grown use to conditions like this since her early childhood. Such example was dust from the many books her mother had owned. The next morning Sakura woke to two blue eyes staring at her and a smile, Mal was petting Azura the chocobo “Shes a really sweet chocobo, I found her protecting you like a newborn, hehe you must be close to her?” there was no answer but Sakura’s face was red as a tomato, did this girl not give up? “She’s very special..” is all Sakura muttered before escaping Azura’s wings and standing brushing off her fur, ears and tail. “She normally doesn’t let anyone find me though..” she glared at the bird that only answered with a happy kweh! as she was petted and pampered. “There a reason you invaded my privacy?” “Its a stable Sakura... kinda public.” she grinned “shut up!” Sakura’s cheeks were now red as a rolanberry. “Are you always this sassy?” “Sometimes, mostly to stubborn cats” Mal let out a giggle before smiling “Our ‘fearless’ leader asked for some fish from the river and I thought we could go together.” In truth Bon had asked Mal to go fishing as well as mining and gathering but Mal just had by luck been passing to hear the snoring kitty and came to investigate but did the details really matter? “Will you leave me alone, if I do?” “Promise a bard’s honor” Mal crossed her heart as she held out her hand... there it was again that feeling of hesitation, why did this human insist on this gesture. It was nice but Sakura would never admit it, not out loud least not yet her pride was something to hold on too. “Fine but in doing so you tell no one of this!” she took the humans hand it was soft and warm, it reminded her of her mother’s hand though the memory quickly faded as she lifted her self let go and dusted herself off quickly. “Lets get this over with..” she muttered at the girl who only stood smiling not once threw off by the cold shoulder, a persistent one she was.They’re fishing destination wasn’t very far just a small river not far from the free company’s estate, Sakura knew it well since she spent a few or more nights fishing it for food never caring for the meals the others would make she preferred fish most chalked it to being a miqote but no one could say she just was a very isolated creature, up till now that is, “Here’s good” Sakura said contently as she sat under a nice shady tree her eyes glued to the hyur who was tying a knot to her hook and trying to set the hook with bait. The knot was poor but it would work and the bait wasn’t ideal but it’d get the job done the one thing wrong was her cast but Sakura said nothing, it was obvious fishing wasn’t this girl’s ideal profession which made sense normally Bon asked herself to do the fishing but since she was hiding/sleeping Mal must of been the unlucky victim, after all Bon was a very lazy person and a lazy leader at that. As Sakura sat mulling over the thoughts in her head she was jolted back to reality from a huge SPALSH and water hitting her face as Mal let out a yell of terror or surprise one and landed in the water. Sakura gazed at the sight still slightly in the shock of being awoken from her deep thinking to see a fish flapping comically on Mal’s head, who was drenched head to toe in ankle deep water. The cat could not help it before she could stop herself she fell on her side laughing loudly at the poor human girl who was glaring, Mal went to throw the fish at Sakura “ITS NOT FUNNY!” but before she could the cat girl was gone “where did she- AH!” the fish fell off Mal’s head and back into the safety of the water as something helped Mal up and took her arm’s from behind. “Silly that’s no way to catch a fish..” the voice was gentle but clearly Sakura’s, another indication was the fact she felt a woman's chest pressed against her back, the intentions were pure this was clear but it was still a odd feeling from someone who acted so cold. “First off you cast like this..” Sakura’s hands glided down Mal’s arms to her hands grasping them gently guiding her each minute along the way of casting up till hooking the fish, this continued a few times before she finally let go. “There you go!” Sakura had a genuine smile, not realizing Mal saw otherwise she’d never allowed it but Mal said nothing just smiled back. “And for the record it was totally funny” she remarked a counter remark to the remark earlier. After getting a few more hauls they sat upon the bank to dry letting the fish sit on a rope in the water to keep them fresh. “So the stables.. why sleep there do you not have any family to stay with?” Mal finally asked sitting with her knees pulled to her chest, her chin resting on them as she hugged her legs, Sakura sitting by her likewise. Sakura thought it over for a moment before deciding to cave in this human deserved something she supposed. “No, least not anymore” she finally exclaimed calmly, though her eyes seemed to glass over as if getting lost in memory. “My mother passed after I was about ten” “My apologies... was she from around here?” Sakura’s head tilted but still rested on her knees as she looked at Malora. “Yes, she was a scholar, she lived in ul'dah but she had a small cottage she sometimes would stay at in Limsa but she originally came from Ala Mhigo” “And your father?” Sakura’s gaze drifted slightly but she continued “Lets see... My father I never truly knew mother always told me he came from the island nation  Thavnair, I never been myself but I’ve seen enough pictures and read enough books to know enough about the place, he was a merchant from what I was told, one eve he was selling elixirs and tonics in ul’dah and met a lovely miqote who stole his heart away and he her’s they never married something about business never allowing them to settle but that didn’t stop them from having a child. Mother always spoke fondly of my father and told me how one day we’d be a family and perhaps she truly meant it but I never minded it being just the two of us though she was often busy with her studies so I would often find comfort in books and tomes.” Her lips cracked a smile at the mention of books before it faded at the mention of the next part. “I did meet him though at age six.. My father... it was a hot day in the Ul’dah markets and there was a crowd of people I had lost my mother moment’s before in the crowd but curious I peeked through the crowd to see a human man lying in his own blood dead, of course.” her voice held no sadness but perhaps some resentment despite stating before she had not minded her father’s absence but no remorse, her eyes seemed distant and glossier than before. “Living in Ul’dah death wasn’t uncommon assassinations or deaths of gladiators or refugees taken by hunger or sickness you’d see these things.. even if you shouldn’t but this man before me wasn’t just anyone. I noticed his eyes were identical to mine and his features I shared a few.. before I could even react a hand had jerked me away from the sight it had been my mother. She clearly had been crying but she held a brave face for me, even held my face close to her breast and yet I can’t say I was sad... I had never known this man except for maybe a brief touch of my mother’s belly or a touch before I could remember him at all... and despite a few features we shared he looked nothing like me he was normal while I had ears, a tail, and fur... I would of liked to have known him I think..” her eyes became less glossy as sentiment now if only a little filled her voice “But I was never given a chance to so I could ultimately feel nothing...” She let out a sigh as she went on. “We were told by the brass blades it had been a unfortunate armed robbery, they eventually caught and trialed the thief but it was a hollow justice if anything, after my mother locked herself even more so away to her studies, her way of grieving I like to think, not that she neglected me any less she would check up on me more than often perhaps afraid of losing the last thing she had left... and she also gave me something the day of my father’s murder. A blue chocobo with a note tied around it’s neck. In said note was a letter from my father a gift, the chocobo’s name was Azura. Yes the very same you were petting earlier. Shes the only thing I have that was remotely close to the dad I never truly knew. My mother grew ill after I turned ten and passed away, she left everything to me but being so young it was given to the Immortal Flames to look after and myself and Azura were given as wards of the orphanage in Ul’dah.. for a time I was adopted shortly after around age twelve to a wealthy family who treated me like a princess.. not that I cared much for the luxurious life I always preferred my mother’s cottage by the sea as a child personally.” “They didn’t care about your.. appearance?” Mal clearly asked the question cautiously though it was fair answer. “No they were lalafell’s so I suppose they didn’t mind to much of my appearance though it isn’t often you find the wealthy so kind they truly were a rare sight. But yet.. they raised me up till my middle teens then I was sent to the guild of  thaumaturgy” she closed her eyes trying to hide a smile as Mal asked. “Why the mage’s guild?” “I might of set my butler on fire by accident.. just his shoe mind you but it was enough for concern. I personally thought it was funny.” she stiffled a giggle before opening her eyes. “Turns out I had a affinity for the dark arts so to control it I was sent there. And I spent the rest of my childhood there before leaving Ul’dah to  go to Gridania. The lalafells who raised me were kind but I never cared for the luxurious life I imagine they are living their high lifestyle still but I never went back after the incident of my butler and my possessions of my mother are still in Ul’dah mostly books, she left little gil, having mostly been funded by the city state and well that leaves me to now. My only family really is a traitorous horse bird.” she obviously was referring to earlier which made Mal giggle. “I’m sorry to hear that but you’d don’t have to sleep in a stable you know.” She leaned over kissing the miqote’s cheek gently, a kind gesture was all but it made the cat blush none the less. “I have a idea!” Malora jolted up with a eureka expression and gave a childish grin at Sakura. “From now on you will stay with me! AND NO BUTS MISSY!” she leaned forward pointing a finger at the miqote who was about to protest. “Azura can come too, I’m sure Elphie will enjoy company!” Mal winked and stuck her tongue out just a little to the side knowing she had won. “So much for leaving me alone” Sakura thought to herself but her lips betrayed her. She was smiling and for the first time she allowed herself to feel that persistent feeling she’d been feeling since meeting this hyur to flow over her. Perhaps... she had been lonely to long and it was time to have friends that didn’t scream Kweh!

[dinosrpg]

Nerevarine: The Reprise - Chapter Seven

Rain lightly fell as Sheev-La and Sevana ventured down the road to Riverwood, making their way to the road along the town's namesake river.  By midday, according to Sheev-La's estimates, they would arrive at the town where they could continue their trek to the barrow.  Plenty of time, Sevana thought, to probe the hero for information, learn more about the mysterious woman.

"So... shall we talk tactics?  Specialties?" the Dunmer started, giving her companion a gentle nudge.  The Argonian had been rather quiet since her outburst in the middle of the night, almost despondent, even.  "I mean, you're obviously an accomplished warrior.  It's almost laughable that I would be the one you would be assis--"

"I'm not that good," Sheev-La cut in, perhaps too harshly by her own judgment.  Sevana bit her tongue, simply hoping she hadn't pressed too hard.  "More swords are always welcome.  As with eyes and ears.  Keeps flanking and placement from getting too out-of-hand.  But yes... I'm good with a bow and swords.  I know some magic as well, but nothing involving the elements or healing.  What about you?"

"I was schooled in Destruction, Conjuration, and Restoration," Sevana started, relaxing a little.  "As you've seen, I keep myself in good physical condition, as well.  That extends to some weapon-based martial arts involving two-handed weaponry.  I prefer to summon such weaponry to give myself an offensive option once I've felt my magicka has depleted."

"That's quite the set of skills," the Argonian offered, forcing a smile despite her low spirits.  "I almost feel outclassed," she chuckled.

"Me?  Outclassing the Nerevarine?" Sevana jested in turn, smiling back at her.  "I think that might be added to my list of qualifications, if you don't mind."

"By all means.  Can't wait to see a prospective employer look at you as though you'd told them you were Tiber Septim."  Sevana laughed.

"I trust you'll be watching through the window, then?" the Dunmer teased, the Argonian laughing in kind.

"Indeed," Sheev-La giggled, glad to have someone to talk to again.  It had been so long since she had spoken earnestly with anyone.

Further down the road, after a comfortable lull in the conversation, the Dunmer began to fidget, something clearly bothering her.  Sheev-La couldn't help but suspect she had questions.  Everyone had questions for the Nerevarine.

"You don't have to hold back, Sevana.  Tell me what's on your mind."

"I don't want to overburden you with questions, Sheev-La.  I can only guess what the nightmare you had last night contained, and I doubt my imagination can even touch on what would terrify a hero."

"It was Red Mountain.  The... last time I went there."

"You don't have to talk about this if you don't want to," Sevana reaffirmed, a hand on the Argonian's shoulder.

"Thank you... but I think two hundred years is too long to hold onto these thoughts alone.  So long as you're prepared for knowing what only a handful of people know."

"It's almost like signing a pact with Hermaeus Mora," Sevana remarked, taking a deep breath.

"It very well may be.  Be cautious with this information, alright?  I'm not sure my heart could take another life lost to my story."

"I will.  Promise," she nodded, the Nerevarine taking a deep breath of their own in relief.

"Now... ask what it is you wish to ask.  Hold nothing back."

"Are you... actually Indoril Nerevar?  I understand you are Nerevar reincarnated, but... what exactly is the nature of your reincarnation?  His reincarnation..."

"I am indeed Nerevar, as they once stood and breathed.  For decades, I lived as Sheev-La, unaware of my memories until I returned to Vvardenfell and learned of my past self.  Nibani Maesa, an Ashlander wise-woman, was the one to awaken my dormant self, to unlock those memories I had hidden from myself.  Or... perhaps that Azura had hidden from me.  In either case, I awoke.  In that moment, and in all moments, I became and remain both Indoril Nerevar and Sheev-La.  In some moments, I affiliate with my past self.  In others, I am very much Sheev-La.  My self-image changes accordingly, and I know that must be strange, but... that is the way of such unusual things, it seems.  To return from the dead is no small feat, and Oblivion only knows how difficult it must have been for Azura to conjure my very soul."

Sevana blinked, feeling weighted by such an answer.  And yet, relieved in a way.  Such a mystery was never truly explored in the short time Sheev-La had remained among the Dunmer, and to have been one to ask such an intimate question, let alone to be met with such an earnest answer, was an accomplishment few could have aspired to achieve.  "Is... your existence a burden on yourself?  I can't imagine how difficult it must be to handle two lives' worth of memories, if not more..."

"Only when I think about it," the Argonian sighed, rolling their head back.  "Sometimes I'm reminded of events long past.  Terrible memories.  But, there are good ones there.  They... surface more rarely than the tragedies, sadly.  In fact... speaking about such philosophical concepts reminds me of Sotha Sil.  In the days of the First Council, we often ruminated on the meaning of fate, of destiny."

Sevana held her tongue for a few moments, giving them a moment to collect themselves.  She couldn't say if such a reminder was one to be cherished or one that brought them pain, but whatever they thought, she felt she couldn't interrupt that moment without their approval.

"Please, continue," the Nerevarine reassured her, managing a smile.

"I just wanted to give you a moment," Sevana comforted them, the Argonian nodding appreciatively.  "So... I suppose the big question is what truly happened at the Battle at Red Mountain?"

"Alandro Sul's account was... not too far from the truth, if you've read it."

"I haven't read it in years, if you don't mind recounting it.  I just don't want to push this too far if you feel you're not ready to relive it aloud."

"Thank you, Sevana, but in all honesty, I should have spoken up about this long ago.  People deserve to know the truth, and it was selfish of me not to publish my own firsthand account while I had the ears of the Dunmer.  But the story was as thus:

"King Dumac and I held the peace together, despite everything that happened.  It was Kagrenac who threatened everything, and Voryn Dagoth was the one to learn of the Heart of Lorkhan's discovery.  While Kagrenac toiled in secret, I confronted Dumac, flanked by my council and retinue.  I feared the worst.  But he denied knowing anything about the damned thing.  History confirms his account, but the pangs of perceived betrayal clawed at my heart after all we had done together, after the love we had shared.  I had the council call upon Azura to confirm Voryn's findings... and with her confirmation, I declared war on my lover.

"It pains me to this day that I didn't hold myself and the council at bay...  To think of all that could have been different...  But alas... we warred.  And in the ultimate battle, I had Vivec, Almalexia, and Sotha Sil direct my forces to draw out Dumac's own while Voryn and I crept into the Heart chamber.  Dumac and I battled fiercely, and I... I slew him... but he wounded me.  Mortally.  Voryn and Kagrenac battled alongside us, but Voryn was the clear victor, acquiring the accursed tools that had been used to make the Dwemer near-unstoppable.  Azura came to us in our hour of need and told us how to use the tools, which Voryn did.  However, in his workings, something... went awry.  Something no one could have anticipated.  The Dwemer disintegrated.  Or... at least their bodies did.  In an instant, the war was over.  I was bleeding, exhausted, and terrified at what we had done when Voryn came to me with the tools, begging for me to give him the order to destroy the things.  In that moment... I panicked.  I told him to wait for me and safeguard the tools... and he obeyed...  By all that is good and just in this world, he obeyed..."  The Argonian sniffed and shuddered as they thought back to that moment, their eye burning with tears begging to be shed.  Sevana gripped their shoulder, looking more than a little worried, but the Nerevarine collected themselves, clearing their throat and rubbing their eye.

"You can stop if you want..." the Dunmer insisted.

"No... no, it's fine," they assured her, groaning and doing their damnedest to power through the pain.  They had done it for so long; this was nothing compared to what they had suffered in the past.

"Voryn stayed... and I went to summon the council.  I'd ignored them for too long when it came to my alliance and intimacy with Dumac, and I was loathe to act without their guidance again, for fear I would make things worse.  I told them what happened, and then we returned to Voryn to consider our... our next course of action.  But he had already succumbed to madness... to lust for power.  Those cursed tools twisted his mind.  I can't remember who brought it to blows, but... we drove him off.  We took the tools back from him.  I was distraught...  I made my councilors swear to Azura not to sully his honor or memory by using the tools.  They swore on Azura... and Azura heard.  And then, when I... when I turned to face the Numidium... I felt something pierce my back and push further until everything went dark.  I was... I was betrayed..."

"You did what you felt was best," Sevana reassured them, turning to place her hands on the Argonian's shoulders and look into that tired, clouded eye.  "It had to be done.  To have your wits about you in that moment is a feat of endurance that songs are written about.  The fact that you were able to do anything so decisively after such a battle is nothing short of legendary.  You... are a hero, Sheev-La.  You stayed true to your station and your people in a moment of vulnerability."

"I didn't feel like it...  I still don't feel like it..." they whimpered, lip quivering.  The Dunmer hugged them.

"We're all still standing here today because of you.  If nothing else... take solace in that."