#awkward ass fuckery

[brattyprettysub2]

New Year, New Hole

Happy 2024, everyone! Time to bring in the new year with some cruel gender fuckery and emotional blackmail <3

*

"I've never --" Connor swallows. He crosses his arms over his chest and tries not to shiver, wearing only a thin white T-shirt and a pair of briefs. He wishes that Daddy wasn't fully dressed. "I've never done that before."

"I know, darling," Daddy says. He's sitting on the couch, legs spread wide, glass of red wine in his hand. "Innocent little boy with a virgin ass, aren't you?"

Connor mumbles something -- he doesn't know whether it's a protest or an agreement. His pussy is wet and his underwear feels horribly slick. He twists his hands in the hem of his T-shirt. "You could..." He swallows. "You could fuck my pussy."

Daddy laughs. "That's not where I want to fuck you," he says. "I've had your pussy, darling. But good boys get fucked in the ass." He leans back. "Lie on my lap," he says. "Face-down. Time to feel how tight that hole is."

Connor walks forward. He knows how to lie across Daddy's lap when he's a girl, how to look sexy and fluid, all girlish grace and giggle. As a boy, he feels stiff and awkward, not quite sure of how to move, how to present himself for Daddy.

He stops in front of Daddy, standing between his legs. He's pulling so hard at his T-shirt that he's twisting it out of shape, it's going to be unwearable after this. "Daddy," he says. He swallows. "Help."

"Oh, poor boy," Daddy coos, lips twisting into an exaggerated pout. "Are you feeling a bit shy?" He tugs at the leg of Connor's briefs, tugging him closer and then pulling him down to sit on his knee.

Connor nods, tucking his face into Daddy's neck. "A little," he whispers.

He hears the clink of glass on wood as Daddy puts his wine down on the table. "But Daddy's been so nice to you," he says. He slides his hand up Connor's T-shirt, his palm warm where it presses firmly against Connor's belly. "I've even let you wear your top, even though you know how much I adore your fat little tits."

Connor feels his blush travelling all down his neck and chest. "Daddy," he whines. Daddy won't let him buy a binder and he hates it when he's a boy and Daddy draws attention to his breasts. "Please don't."

Daddy slides his hand further up Connor's top and pinches a nipple hard. "These are Daddy's," he says, shaking Connor's breast back and forth. "I'll talk about them however I want to talk about them. Understand, little boy?"

Connor whines. "Yes, Daddy," he says. "S'just... uncomfortable."

"It'll be really uncomfortable when I decide you're talking back too much and slap your tits," Daddy says. He twists Connor's nipple, digging his thumbnail into the delicate skin. "Say Thank you, Daddy."

"Thank you --" Daddy twists harder and Connor gasps. "Thank you, Daddy!"

"Say Thank you for all the attention you give my titties."

Connor's face and eyes burn at the humiliating words. "Thank you for -- for all the attention you give my fat little titties."

Daddy finally lets go of his nipple. "Better," he says. "Tell me to stop again and you're taking that T-shirt off, understand?"

He doesn't wait for a response. He pushes at Connor's hip, shifting him. "Ass up," he says. "Daddy wants his fingers in your ass now."

Connor doesn't dare protest. Daddy's told him before that boys get fucked in the ass and that if he doesn't want that, then he's not allowed to be a boy.

So he doesn't make a peep as Daddy arranges him over his lap, ass in the air. He doesn't protest when Daddy pulls his briefs down, though he blushes when Daddy laughs at how wet and sticky they are. He squeaks when Daddy flicks his cock and comments on how little it is, but Daddy likes noises like that, most of the time. He kicks his legs a little when Daddy spits on his hole, but not enough to make Daddy mad.

And when Daddy presses a finger to his hole, he barely even breathes. And when it slips inside, he squeezes his eyes tightly shut and reminds himself that good boys get fucked in the ass. And he so badly wants to be a good boy.

*

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[leoleolovesdc]

If I was to rewrite victorious Andre would be a cool trans guy who everyone in the school wants to go out w but hes actually secretly (not as much as he’d like to think, but still) pining for Cat, who’s actually aroace and pretty oblivious to his feelings, but she does entertain the thought of being w him which results in some silly situations like:

Cat: [kisses Andre on the cheek]

Cat (giggling): Sorry, I’m such a dork..

Andre: Thank you.

Cat: Huh?

Andre: [telling everything to the gang later]

Tori: Seriously?! “Thank you”??

Andre (sobbing in embarassment): I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, OKAY?

Tori would be this one highschool kid who has gone to one too many identity crisis in middle shool regarding her gender and sexuality and has simply given up on labeling themselves. When she comes to Hollywood arts and the coffee incident happens there’s no romantic or sexual tension w Beck whatsoever (but Jade still hates her out of spite), they become very good friends w Andre just like in the show, is also good friends w Cat and Robbie and forms this unapologetically gay rivalry w Jade.

Jade is basically the same, just maybe less cartoonishly evil?? Still a lot of anger issues, bisexual she/they energy. breaking things and scaring the shit out of ppl. She dates Beck by the beginning but they very obvsly dont get along and its js as delightful as it is annoying hearing them argue abt everything all the fcking time and rant abt how much they hate each other js to not break up (they will eventually, dw)

Beck is not changed much, just more consistent. Sarcastic pretty boy, good actor, very blunt and open about his feelings, simply impossible to scare (maybe that’s why he managed to date Jade for so long💀)

Robbie is js the same weirdo w a puppet, except in this he’d lean more into a asshole-nerd trope. Is a fucking cunt to everyone, probably has big ass crush on Beck that he’ll never admit, flirts w every girl he sees out of insecurity, etc.

In this concept Rex is pretty much his own person, but since Robbie is a jackass then they are over all more similar, Rex still “bullies” Robbie, but it’s slightly toned down as they probably enjoy the same kinda things, have more compatible personalities, etc. Robbie’s js more awkward about… welll, everything.

Trina is still Trina, except we’d treat her like a actual character and not some “look, she’s bad at singing” joke

Cat is similar to her early seasons’ version, she is kinda dumb, volatile and weird but not completely out of it. She kind of knows how to play people (especially boys) to get what she wants. Most of her dumbness would actually be translated into obliviousness, Cat doesn’t notice thiings, she’s always in her own world and doesn’t rlly care abt “normal” things

In this Andre and Tori are best friends (none of the og chow fuckery where they claim beck and andre r besties somehow)

Cat and Robbie are completely platonic on Cat’s side while Robbie makes a few moves on her once in a while (w/o any intention of actually dating her)

Jade and Tori are just gay. I can’t really explain any way else. It’s the same as in the show, just more explicitly gay. Like, in the way where Jade probably goes out of her way to make Toris life miserable but gets very mad whenever someone else does it (shes probably screamed “only i can make her life living hell” at students in hollywodd arts more than once). Tori is also meaner to jade in retaliation, but theyre both kind of into fighting each other so its not rlly that much of a rivalry and more of a amusing thing. Theyre also weirdly jealous of each other. Jade chases people down the hall with scissors whenever someone makes a move on Tori

Beck and Tori are 100% platonic, they hang out more than they did in the show (which fuels jades bother w them in the beginning) but remain abt the same level of closeness

Jade is.. less mean to Cat. Like they dont find bothering her as funny bc she js doesnt understand it and it ends up being meaningless, thats kind of the only reason they manage to get along

Cat and Beck r pretty much the same as the show, still kinda big bro and lil sis dynamic

Cat and Tori are like the girlies ever. They go shopping together, gossip abt everything and everyone bc they know that no one else likes listening to them

Beck is pretty chill, w Robbie, who as I said, is kinda gay for him, theyre not that close but also not not-friends

Andre and Beck are very close, they fight a lot abt silly stuff but always make up and go back to being bros in less than a day

Robbie is kinda mean to Tori but theyre twice as mean back so they make it work🫶

Jade intimidates the shit outta Robbie, he is a jackass to everyone except her bc he knows he’ll get his dick chopped off if he tries anything funny

I already expanded on Andre and Cat’s dynamic, so yeah

Idk why am i even writing this but here it is

[godraet]

something something about after 10,000 years of absolute fuckery and pain and misery gan waking up and actually Not being a mess and finding ways to channel all that energy and passion into creating instead of destroying .... yeah yeah me and rae with the galaxy brain ....

sometimes rewriting totk is executing incredibly well thought out zelgan and also just screaming about things and that is very valid

we are going to file this post also under: gan sees the valley and Cries because he remembers when it was his thriving kingdom and now so much of it is in ruins, even though they've maintained as much as they can, it's still so tragic so he immediately decides to help his people flourish again because these are his people. no matter the era, the gerudo are his people and he loves them ...

and he doesn't speak the modern tongue, so there's an awkward language barrier and actually the only person he actually can converse with on a fluent level is zelda, who lived for a time in the ancient past and so until he picks up all the new changes in the language he's going to need some Help ....

something something her entire ass existence changes him for the better, slowly but surely, and maybe this time the cycle breaks and at the end of it the old gods can finally be at rest ...

[wastemanjohn]

hi i am EXTREMELY interested in bottom John and would like to know your thoughts on this topic

Thank you so much for the ask, which I hope you will not regret after my answer

From a #soft standpoint, the vulnerability. I love this side of John anyway because I think we don't talk about what a vulnerable mess he is enough. And in that, trust - (johndean lens coming up) - the idea of John getting to a point with Dean where he has enough trust in Dean to let him take that vulnerability for himself. I don't think this would be something that happened all the time, even if it happened once - I was word vomiting at @amiwritesthings recently about my unending belief in John's erectile dysfunction (over 50, too much booze, bad diet, seems inevitable to me) and how from that a dynamic could build where John lets Dean fuck him. The ED itself being a stepping stone to vulnerability - its awkward, and John would undoubtedly feel some humiliation about not being able to keep up with his young, hot, red blooded son, getting angry about it and pushing Dean away. But Dean... pushing back. Looking at Daddy with big heart eyes whether his dick works or not. Skirting around the idea until John thinks he thought of it himself. I picture it being pretty awkward - John not being able to relax enough and Dean being nervous - but very sweet and connective and it makes my heart horny. (And that will be the extent of my soft johndean thoughts for the remainder of the year).

Selfish John rights. I actually wrote a (girl!dean) fic about this once - John asking this of Dean simply because... he wants it. This side of it is linked more with my sub!John headcanon (I stand by it) - but he's not bottoming/subbing out of a desire for connection or a mutually beneficial dynamic. He wants a certain headspace. He wants to zone out and forget and he wants his son (or his daughter) to service top his sad ass and fuck him senseless so he can get there and get off, Dean(na)'s enjoyment be dammed. Just another weird fucking thing John asks of Dean(na) that happens occasionally (and in a very mundane way) but is never spoken of again. I think this is my favourite iteration of bottom!John - John's ultimate fixation on his own needs and Dean(na) doing as told, no matter how messed up, to keep Daddy happy. It's the exact kind of fuckery that drew me to this ship in the first place and it makes me drool.

Bi John rights. The idea of John hooking up with pretty twinks who look suspiciously like Dean? Yep, behind it. The idea of John hooking up with hench masculine types like himself and bending over a car hood for them? Behind it even more.

Lastly, my personal view is that John getting fucked is really really hot. And I'm glad to know I'm not alone 🥲

[maxemilianverstappen]

im so conflicted about the social media for ferrari & rbr seemingly realizing they got a goldmine with lestappen. on one hand we might get more content with them together and be constantly fed; otoh, I love their spontaneous stuff and wouldnt like it if they tried to script more and made it awkward for them... their chemistry is immaculate as it is, i fear what would happen if marketing tried to meddle.

Don't be afraid.

95% of the time Ferrari acts rigid like they have to do ballet with a huge cucumber is shoved up their ass because they want to preserve their cool and untouchable brand image so bad that they would never let things get too on the Mercedes/Aston Martin fuckery level with their S*wis shit every time their guys breathed within a ten meter radius of each other. AM is Mercedes' engine customer, so their irritating ship game at any given opportunity was a bit more understandable even though Mercedes literally pretended Valtteri didn't exist. Which was rage inducing.

I don't think anybody can top this level of shamelessness:

I would have added Mercedes ones, too, but I must have deleted them.

And Ferrari wouldn't risk fan responses like this:

I am a huge fan of this👆 tweet btw 🤣🤣

[candymothxxx-archive]

What sort of self care/hygiene rituals do you think Val does and how often? Does he need to groom his wings explicitly or do they shed?

He doesn't have hair so I know this mans is doing a LOT to his neck fluff. Like...the most pampered care routine for that fluff, boi.

He never quite gets all the smoke-dust out, but the goal is more so about making sure it's luxurious and soft and floofy. There's a daily care routine to that fluff, has to be. And like--one hairdresser on payroll that exists JUST to really attend to the fluff once a month and the routine is probably and hour long affair.

I'm sure his antennas get attention like that too, except he just does that himself on the daily.

This guy gets manis and pedis too, promise you.

Basically, this guy is constantly trying to maintain his body and it's attributes on the regular. Every morning he's just that guy that slathers on skin care lotion and takes time to exfoliate in the shower and use emery boards on his claws. (Can you imagine how long that takes for FOUR hands?)

I'm the exact opposite so I can't even IMAGINE the scale of effort and terms and things. Takes a lot of effort to be hot shit, I know that much.

Like, I kinda want his ass to be musty as a bias, but he put WAY too much into his presence for that. So I gotta reluctantly make him non-musty.

You, know, I haven't thought about that. The weird thing about the wings is that they seem kinda fabric like more than actual scaley moth like? Demon fuckery rules, you know?

You think he gets them

dry cleaned?

lmfao omg I bet he do.

I bet there's a guy also on payroll that just comes around once a week and dry cleans his wings for him and brushes out his wing fluff and that's gotta be the most awkward shit ever for everyone involved. Just some guy finishing a spot clean and then having to like...iron the wing on a board on low setting so it doesn't make him go OUCH--fuck i'm dyin

[reverieinsimlish]

I took Ernie to Uni and there was the usual fuckery. Then he ran into Kaz Nasri at a party and I was like... hey.... I remember that guy!

Until....

BUUUUUT, that gave me Cason,

and the early angst of star-crossed lovers and soapy dram a that I really super enjoyed

but ultimately he got his HEA.

And I got Viola and Roan

Who kicked ass....

but had a hard time not offending people with her brutal honesty and awkward sense of humor

It took soooo looooong to get my heir, but March has always been worth the wait

Especially to her childhood bestie

And even tho they might have went in different directions for a while

it wasn't forever

and all their dreams came true with hard work that Tumblr will not allow me to inline link in this post as there are already 10. Maybe I should make a master post. In the morning and not after working 12 hours.

Now there's Eartha, or maybe Dorian... and I have no idea what they'll do.

[masked-and-doomed]

I got an AU where the souls of the MN contestants (+Aru) get into the bodies of the fun.ger Termina contestants (though their souls are still in there, able to talk to them, but are unable to have their body's autonomy unless the MN contestant allowed them to)

Also this happens after both Termina and Survival Game. Universe fuckery happens and they all have to relive more horrors. So the contestants, depending on what they did in their prev life, do know some shit abt what to do. Henryk prob got moonscorched though so rip bozo 👎👎

Anyway my great list of who gets into who's body

I mean Henryk does fit Takao both pathetic ass men and most likely for you to have first moonscorched. And Takao dies. So 👍

I was tempted to have Yomotsu in Pav's body at first because they're both 'chaotic' but then I realised Yomotsu's. Gonna gain vision. So I might as well give him another disability.

Don't worry about the choices ,,, tbh I wanted Keigo to be in either Karin's or Abella's body for the funnies... But I didn't know who to give O'saa's body to so. I guess he gets to be a yellow mage.

Kamado and Abella both have caressing souls, I gave Karyuudo August because now he has big doggy. Give old ass John Balls to younger 40~ yr old Caligura. Weird ass stalker girls Yuno and Samarie. Marco with.. guess what... Marcoh.. Minene to Karin for their feistiness. Aru to Daan because they're both mysterious and also 🏳️‍🌈 Reisuke to Kida. Because idk who to give him... Also to bully Kida I guess. Tsubaki and Marina because they're both.. left with these guys and idk who else to give him to. Though I guess Pav's whole goal is to kill a sort of God. So? Also just like revenge and despise.. yeah that's some Tsubaki in there.

Thinking about the awkwardness of it all. Henryk's like 'Oh man Abella's still got a great ass' and Takao's like 'I'm not seducing Kamado.' Also y'know Henryk. Takao can work a knife 👉😎👉 just not in the way you do. Hehe.

(oh yeah they prob like end up figuring out each other bc everyone's confused. Then they're like 'oh shit it's you guys. Damn.')

Tsubaki probably buttons up Pav's outfit. Modesty..

Also the fucking. Yukiteru feeling heroin withdrawals. Levi guiding him to push the needle in. They're both very 'yikes...' guys. Scared children.

It'd be funny to see each of em deviate from the original body's goals..

Also thinking about how August climbs buildings like Yomotsu. Maybe something interaction there asking Karyuudo to climb up and see the view for him.

It'd be interesting to see how Aru deals with Pocketcat.. both are very cunning and sly little bitches... Aru has dubious methods to do good and Pocketcat is simply manipulative and predatory.

Waugh post done. Goodbye now.

[chen-chen-chen-again-chen]

For the WIP Game! (The latest version of the WIP Game post has links to all the other answers.)

@ileadacharmedlife asked about the WIP "Fuck our childhood, let's ruin a friendship." The title is from an AMAZING Reddit post, What did your friend do that accidentally turned you on?

Fandom background: Kuroko no Basuke (Kuroko's Basketball) is a basketball manga/anime that is mostly about GAY FEELINGS but also the tragedy of genius and betrayal and friendships and it is RIFE with OT3s. It has harem vibes - you can basically ship anyone with the main character and it works

Pairing background: Aomine Daiki/Momoi Satsuki (AoMomo) (or, as one of my friends call them, "the only het couple I ship")

The canon vibe is childhood besties who have an antagonistic/loving relationship, with narrative hints that they will get together romantically later on (once they both get their heads out of their asses).

Hilariously, it's very hard to talk about them as a pairing without talking about the main character, Kuroko Tetsurou, because they BOTH have huge boners for him, for DIFFERENT reasons.

The fic: Post-series, salty childhood friends eventually getting together, gender fuckery, awkward stumbling into sex/a romantic relationship with your best friend when BOTH of you are in love with the same person, who is not into EITHER OF YOU THAT WAY

I could ramble endlessly about Momoi Satsuki and why I love her and why I think she deserves much more than canon gave her, but I WILL SAVE THAT FOR THE FIC and just share this snippet:

It starts with a drunken phone call from a bar, which is Kise’s fault really. In hindsight, a lot of the dumb things in Daiki’s life are Kise’s fault. 

“Dai-chan?” Satsuki’s voice is full of worry and hoarse from being woken from deep sleep - husky, maybe. Sexy, someone other than Daiki might say. “It’s two in the morning - is everything okay?”

“Satsuki,” Daiki says, injecting as much seriousness into his voice as he can, “I need you to answer a question for me.” 

“Okay?” Satsuki says. He can hear her shifting in bed, sitting up. 

“What,” Daiki asks, “are you wearing?”

There’s a beat of silence. Kise is already doubled over, clutching his hands over his face to keep his laughter from escaping. 

“You phoned me,” Satsuki repeats slowly, “at two in the morning. On a weekday. To ask me. What I’m wearing?”

“Yeah,” Daiki says, nonchalant. “My bet was the lucky panties, but Kise thought-“

“YOU!” Satsuki shrieks. “WOKE ME UP AT TWO IN THE MORNING! FOR A STUPID PRANK!? I WAS WORRIED, YOU JERK! AND YOU HAVE AN INTERVIEW WITH THE COLLEGE PAPER TOMORROW - NO, TODAY, AT EIGHT IN THE MORNING! I’M NOT JUST GOING TO KILL YOU, I’M GOING TO-“ 

My Scrivener file done got screwed up for this, so I lost a good like 2000-3000 words of it. But I do want to resurrect it one day! Thanks for letting me blather about it!!

[madstronaut]

let us rewind, to simpler times...comfort fic times🌿💝

yes I will admit - I, too, was swept up by the 🌪️hu-reylo-ricane🌪️ in 2016 - and this was pre-2017, ere the era of ben swolo and force dyad fuckery etc etc - I probably spent hours upon hours reading fic after fic on ff.net and ao3 - some absolutely fan-fucking-tastic, rip-my-soul-to-shreds-and-stitch-it-back-together-with-my-own-veins-stripped-from-my-limbs vibe stories but just two in particular I hold dear to my heart - one of the fics is so deeply significant & personal to me in such an intimate and revealing way I keep bumping it to the bottom of my 30-story-tall faficowrimo list - and the other one being this G-rated, <10k word, two chapter modern student/teacher's asst. college AU. lolwat anyway dive into the deepend of yet another of my faficowrimo rambles with me~

I don't believe @/heyloreylo aka @/on_my_toes is on tumblr anymore after a cursory search to tag, but dear writer if you ever see this, I want to say 🌿thank you🌿 for writing this story (and from an anon prompt!!! wow), I come back to this time and again when I feel homesick for places I haven't been (ugh I know the perfect word for this in my mother tongue but no such english word really captures it succinctly...#multilingualprobs)

Reading: Where There's Smoke, There's Fire by on_my_toes

When I found this fic (or rather when it found me) I, like Rey, was in an exhausting season where I felt I was perpetually living my days as one long night-before-a-big-final and that life kept setting afire any place I attempted to lay my head for a breather - foxes have holes and birds have nests, everyone but me, indeed - and feeling the weariness and loneliness of a season where there are Just Some Things You Must Travail Alone™️, even amidst friends who stick closer than brothers. (Yes I get straight biblical/shakespearean when I wax poetic, pls dont yap in my DMs if you take issue doth bite your thumb at me, good sir)

something I love about my comfort fics is how easy I find it is to leave all mis problemos at the door and slip into the world of the story and the emotions and actions of the characters and I can return again and again and experience all the emotions that swell out of me in a very freeing, cathartic, practiced, and predictably famiilar way anyway yes like 99.5% of people on this hellsite (affectionate) fanfic is also therapy for meeeee

I think like Ben the TA and Rey the chem student in this fic - we all, at times, develop and wear a hard outer shell to protect & distance ourselves and project power - the hardass TA wearing suits/formal/officewear/frowns like armor, the single female orphan student tensed, always ready to let fly a prepared right hook (or a verbal barb, or witty jab, or a cutting look, etc. etc. fill in the blanks)- esp. when cracks in our armor show - but Ben responds to Rey immediately with imho a curiously direct and bold display of care, compassion, and openheartedness - offering Rey the coat off his back, immediately opening his childhood!home to her, calling her by name, encouraging her in his own awkward ass way re: the chem final comment...also I sense from his first words he was watching and waiting to step in only until he was absolutely certain Rey could use his help - and in this sense, adding to and reinforcing to her strength rather than taking it away

there's something about being thrown right into deep end of the pool from the very start of the fic that makes meeting Ben so rewarding - Rey here is clearly tough as nails but caught outside with no shoes on, literally, at a very vulnerable moment - because even the strongest of us can't be strong all the time thank you pete, my IRL moot, for that bit of timely wisdom when I needed it 🌱 - and Ben Swolo meeting her here, not swooping in to save her per se, but shore up and compliment her strength instead and reveal so much more than he probably intended from the start of this afterhours interaction with her - just melts the most frozen parts of my heart every.single.fucking.time 💙🥺

I mentioned how familiar this fic was to me and it's not really the story but the emotions and people it reminds me of...

the way Ben loves Rey - in actions and words - so readily and easily - reminds me of my IRL beloveds who have done same for me

Rey so easily shrugging off help, even when sorely needed, is a heartachingly familiar place personally - and I see shades of my past and sometimes present self in her - but as the story unfolds I am reminded both of her growth and my own and the people who helped, and stayed, and remembered, and walked with and returned to me on my journey, just like with Rey here and I see the best parts of love and humanity in its many forms - familial, in friendship, in a lover - in the twists and turns of this story and anyway am I crying? what the fuck NOT AGAIN anyway moving on-

There is something unmistakably playful in the expression, and she feels her heart do this strange and slightly unwelcome flop at the sight of it.

🥺🥺🥺 I'm not sure if there's like a medical term for this physical sensation but besides looking upon my beloveds, reading fanfic also elicits this sensation in me

He looks down at her, seeming a bit disarmed by her smile. She has pushed him too far. She is about to take a step back and shut the hell up before she digs herself a bigger hole, but just then he smiles back at her, the sight of it so unexpected that he seems like an entirely different person. Handsome, even.

men, take notes - the power of a smile actually is quantifiably a helluva difference maker also stop fucking asking women on the street you don't know to smile its 2024 motherfuckers

It’s strange to think that this fully-grown, slightly intimidating person has parents nearby. 😂😂😂 this definitely reminded me of the shock I had as a madstrokiddo when I ran into a teacher at a supermarket once because I thought she lived at school, you know, the teacher's natural habitat and enclosure-

“I know how scary these tests can be,” he says, setting her at ease a bit by steering the conversation back to academics. “We have a guest room. It’s no trouble at all. I’ll give you a ride back to campus in the morning.”

She stares up at him, and there is something in his uncertainty, in the strange shyness that seems so incongruent with the strict TA she has come to know in class, that she trusts him. Completely.

I FUCKING LOVE SHYBOIS, SHYBOIS FOR PRESIDENT 2024, I WILL BE YOUR SECRET SERVICE/PROTECT YOU WITH MY LIMB AND LIFE FOR FREE please god literally anyfuckingonelse for president other than the two golfing seniors for 2024 anyway i digress

“Hey.” Ben’s voice is soft and careful, close to her ear. oh I fucking love this (whispering, because this moment is tender and sacred)

He eases her out of the car, remembering to grab her socks, and then walks her up the brick stairs to a lovely, quaint little home that she remembers passing on some of her long distance training runs during the cross country season.

She had always envied it for its simplicity, for the little flower pots in the window ledges, for the sweet little porch swing on the front deck. It looked like a place where people were happy. It looked like a home...

A familiar ache rises up in her as she turns, taking it all in — the way the home is so lived in, so worn, so well-loved...

She swipes at her eyes, turning to face him with a strange and misplaced guilt.

Her face burns. She isn’t sure what to say to that. She has lived with Poe and Finn for almost a year, but even now it is strange to her, the idea that someone might worry on her behalf. The idea that someone cares.

Yours. It’s a curious choice of words. There aren’t many things that belong to her in this world, and she knows for a fact that this isn’t one of them. Still, as she melts into the cotton sheets and the seemingly infinite pillows, her eyelids so heavy that they feel like molasses, she lets all of her usual defenses fall to the wayside. Despite everything, she feels comfortable here. Despite everything, she feels … safe.

these few paragraphs detailing Rey's experience in the Solo cottage is one of the main reasons why I come back to this fic - I still remember the first time I read that sentence "it looked like a place where people were happy, it looked like a home" and how Rey reacted - I bawled my eyes out because I was also in the middle of losing a sense of home so to speak when I read this, and I felt so seen in seeing the same feelings through Rey's eyes here - that helpless feelng of the embarassment of missing out on what everyone else take for granted - and it made me feel less alone and helped dry out that really raw, wet sense of grief a leetle bit more to something more manageable every time I went back to read it ❤️‍🩹🥹💙

also Ben readily offering to Rey things like friendship to fall back on in hard times, an open ear and heart and home to take you in, a safe and strong presence through a night(s) of crisis, a nice, soft, warm bed to rest in, someone to say to you “I would have worried about you if you hadn’t," someone to care about you, someone to make you a meal 💛- was very healing to read and be reminded of 🌿🌿🌿

She barrels into him so hard that it almost knock the wind out of her. She would have ended up with her butt on the floor, but Ben’s instincts are quicker than hers, and he reaches out and steadies her before she plummets — which unfortunately, ends with her pressed up against him so close that she nearly bangs into his chin with her forehead.

mmmm chin rest height is optimal couple height diff 🤭

But most of all, she is embarrassed by his tenderness. Embarrassed by the way he has inconvenienced himself for her, and gone to all this trouble, when she is not worth it by any degree. She has nothing to offer him, no way to thank him.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he says slowly, his bewilderment incongruous with her panic, with the way she scurries toward the door.

“I do, though,” she says, her eyes stinging with her embarrassment.

this whole exchange ending with the "you don't have any shoes oh and btw I washed ur underwear" first off is fucking excellent nay perfect comedic timing, but also REY!!! I want to give you such a big hug for being so human (when I first went to see Force Awakens with a bff she mentioned how she loved how Rey was able to cry so freely and keep and protect her tenderness while surviving in a harsh desert and that comment has always stuck with me), dear writer (toes? toesy? idk what to call writer) you light these complex emotions in such stark relief and in such a familiar and recognizable way they become a lot less lonelier and scarier to face as a result 💖💖💖

I thought the ch. 1 ending was fucking perfect so of course as I usually do, fucking screeched upon seeing a continuation

first off, LMAO @ Hurricane Kylo

Ahch-To University 😂 so IRL Ahch-To is an Irish island named Skellige Michael that is still on my bucketlist of places to visit (apparently it is very weather-dependent and a bit difficult to reach, via local boats only)

She raises an eyebrow at him. It’s the first time she has directly looked at him, and it is like staring at the sun. 🥺🥰

I love the reversal in fortune with Rey now coming to rescue Ben amidst his own storm and the little mystery woven in the breadcrumbs of Rey-left-after-last-semester and seeing Rey, truly, from Ben's eyes and heart and his crush showing in so many cute little ways 🥰🥰🥰

How he sometimes let himself imagine following her, asking her out for coffee, getting to know her, or even…

even what? EVEN WHAT BEN???? HMMM??? TELL US, THIS IS A SPICY SAFE SPACE-

He crouches beside her as low to the ground as he can get. Too late he realizes that her faces in inches from his. Her eyes are shut, her skin ghostly pale against the smear of blood on her forehead, but she still seems a lot more calm than he feels right now, his heart beating in too many places at once.

The rain impossibly starts to beat down even harder, the roar of it unimaginable. Rey’s mouth opens wide and he realizes even though he can’t hear it that she’s laughing out loud.

Only then does the chaos seem somewhat manageable. Only then does the beat of his heart seem to find some semblance of a normal rhythm. No matter what happens in this upside down world, they’re in this together. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

I have been on a journey processing and sifting the poison and the balm from my religious upbringing so TW for some church-ish talk but I am reminded of tale of a certain carpenter's son sleeping in the midst of a storm - an image that I have always loved - I used to imagine during storms so to speak that I always had a safe haven of open arms waiting for me and inviting me to rest instead of fight or freak out - and wake up to see the storm abated, and not alone - and for some reason this little tidbit recalls that story, that feeling, and that image of peace in the midst of storms for me

alternately reminded of Lt. Nate Fick's speech from Generation Kill on the humvee wheel he was taking cover in during a firefight being 'the safest place in the world' - often not a matter of what and why but where and who you are with that brings much perspective 💙✨

Rey winces slightly, and Ben immediately regrets asking. In that moment the wind dies down just enough that there is no denying the tension between them. She pulls away, just slightly, enough that their bodies are still touching but nowhere near as intimately as before.

this is so real - many times our body speaks when our words can't

This time the gesture is so thoughtless, so innate, that he doesn’t even realize he’s moved until his fingers are skimming her forehead, pushing the hair back from her face. Her eyes lock on his, wide with surprise and a kind of hunger in them — never taking her gaze off of him, she leans ever-so-slightly into his touch, like someone who is both wary of affection and longing for it all at once.

I love this story's Ben in how easily he loves Rey in thought and words and gesture, I found it very healing to read about such a man but also in my later reads - inspirational, encouraging, and exemplary for me to be the same - and seek and coax it out of those around me ❤️❤️❤️

“She had a good, long life,” she says, in that optimistic way of hers. “I’m just glad I got to be a part of it.” I hope to say this of my IRL and tumblr beloveds and moots as well 🌿✨

She has always seemed so untethered, so separate from everyone else. It is the reason he was so drawn to her — he has always felt out of place himself, despite his best efforts. But now that he has some understanding of Rey’s past, however small it is, he feels some part of his heart cinching for her in some unfamiliar, powerful way. In those moments, he seems to absorb her sadness as if it is his own, and it is a burden he is more than willing to bear. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

“I’m Rey,” she says, almost merrily. “And this is the second time your son has saved my ass.” 😂😂😂 alexa, play smooth operator by sade (yeah im gonna bring this meme back, watch me)

His father tosses back the phone and Rey catches it deftly, dialing a number she must know by heart. I appreciate this detail of foster rey memorizing phone numbers of close contacts 🫂❤️‍🩹

As terrifying as the ordeal was, there was something so intimate in it, some unknowable shared feeling that passed between them, and now … he can already feel it peeling away, as if it never happened. He can already see the sun spilling out of the clouds, people poking their heads out of their doors, the the world resuming in its ordinary way, and it’s all somehow insulting to the profundity of what just happened to them.

Fucking incredible paragraph, I'm pretty much nearly speechless at this point

well all this to say, I found this fic this fic found me when I was at a low point in my life, shone a light down into my little hole/valley and made me remember I could find the strength within me to climb out - and take the hands of friends and recognize the presence of beloveds ready to meet me where I was and help me climb out together...

...and I am incredibly, incredibly grateful that I started reading beyond the Explicit/Inappropriate Use of the Force Bond tagged reylo fics to find this gem

[evidentlyhuman]

I never hunt them outside Expedition challenges if I have high karma and feel like fucking around- but when I do it’s usually because I have some kind of edge over it to make it an unfair fight in violation of those rules. I have just enough to edge me over into “yes both” category. Though the red centi kill that formally qualifies me feels less legit than the challenge 65 kill.

Red Lizards are easiest killed with Gourmand because an explosive spear with the triple spear damage compensates for the explosion damage resistance to bring it back up to an instant kill again, like it would be for a normal scug and a normal 6hp lizard. I’ve killed one with Spearmaster too through some Extensive Pipe Fuckery, but didn’t manage to shelter afterwards. (Plus an expedition kill with High Agility Explosion Jump Hunter but c’mon that doesn’t count, I just parried the fuck out of it.)

I have a Story kill on a Red Centipede w/o breaking those rules but it was still a cheeky kill: It was that one really chaotic room of normal Garbage Wastes. (GW_B02) A King Vulture made the mistake of trying to eat it and got killed- the centi was in the lowest part, so getting a clean shot required it to get too close. The KV corpse landed on top of the centi, though, which got it in an awkward position where it was hard for it to get both heads on the same side. I wanted that King Vulture mask, and figured it was in a bad position. When it got one head on me three scavs decided to help their Slugcat-Chieftain, flanking its sorry ass from both sides. (Plus one other kill, just me landing on one as Gourmand for the food quest- I’d prepared three spore puffs but got stupid lucky jumping into the SB centipede pit. But you said “spear combat” so even if it’s not a puff or a sing. bomb I don’t think it’s what you’re looking for.)

However, I also won the No Items Fox Only Final Destination duel to the death with a red centi in Spearmaster’s challenges, where you don’t have anything but your needles and are trapped on the same screen as it so I think I earned the right to say I’ve killed a red centipede legit, too. It was certainly a much fairer fight than my Story mode kills, that challenge was certainly unforgiving.

okay, follow up poll i guess:

Don't Include Spore Puff Kills. This is for spear combat.

also include how often you engage with them and whether you deliberately hunt them. this is also about story mode, so either in a particular slugcat's campaign or in expedition mode. arena kills don't count.

also don't include singularity bomb kills. please.

[dorkylittleweirdo]

Y'all ever get hit with the realization that oh shit that super cool person follows me

[absentlyabbie]

i swear to god it’s like this fucking cold has eaten my wholeass brain for a wholeass week

and now i have to spend the next two days away from my home and bed, trapped in some other town and at a hotel, with my boss, for a stupidass conference that is barely relevant to our work, as if the >20k i take home a year covers the cost of involuntary travel like pleeeeaaaaase bitch and also i still have this stupid cold

[sercphs-a]

@dcviated

⠀⠀⠀⠀The hunter's face makes an unreadable expression for a few moments at the notion of the target being that deep-seated in the Qixing. Their not-as-cold-as-usual gaze flits over the pictures from the album, noting the details of the girl's features - thanks Dottore for providing exactly no helpful information ahead of time. Jeez, Lord Second sure loved to just demand something be done and then provide exactly no help in even finding a starting point...

"Huh."

⠀⠀⠀⠀She's cute, unfortunately for her. It'll suck when Lord Second gets his hands back on her and she never sees the light of day again, the cruel fate that waited for everyone who tried to escape from his tests and got dragged back.

"Not wrong about the cute part... Ugh... But the Qixing..."

⠀⠀⠀⠀Gods the recent fuckery with Lord Eleventh's spectacular show of stupidity really wasn't going to make this easy at all was it? As much as the hunter was a fan of having a less awful boss (Lord Second's habits sucked), it would have been nicer to have at least someone who cared about the consequences of their actions.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Eugh.

⠀⠀⠀⠀Hand comes up to remove the mask from their head and look it over. Need to store this thing somewhere secure since Elijah's so deep-seated, and it's going to be a pain in the ass to do undercover work with a mask on their head.

⠀⠀⠀⠀At least he still had rep and merit as a member of the Adventurer's Guild. Never officially left, and still did some good work for them when they had the extra time.

"...When I asked if you had anything, I was really hoping that your information wasn't going to amount to me having to spend the rest of my life here in deep cover to get her."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀It's said in a light-hearted tone at least!

"Just can't ever have a simple and easy job, can we... Well, I guess I'll have to get started on that later. Mind helping my arrival be a bit less awkward? Not the best at paperwork..."

⠀⠀⠀⠀He's going back for the next third of his meal after that somewhat meek admission. That was always something he left to somebody else! Paperwork was just an advanced headache waiting to happen when you fill out a box wrong and have to fix it after six different tedious resubmissions to clear making an adjustment.

On the one hand- upper brass were a pain to work with. Eccentric proclivities and tunnel vision on the priorities when it came to those working with them. Anyone could be a scapegoat or a diversion. On the other hand- the agent could hardly deny that it made for an exciting day to day lifestyle. Even if he existed on the fringes and toed the line between friend and foe to keep up his reputation it was that side bringing about the biggest grins.

It also had extraordinary benefits and end of year bonuses!

"Alright. Then lets get into it." After a cursory glance around the restaurant, a small album is pulled from his pocket and set on the table. Still quiet outside the churn of fire and the crackle of oil. The only other patron of note was a timid dock worker more occupied with getting their food eaten than keeping ears peeled for juicy gossip.

"So! The long story. About ... 16 months ago, this runaway lady of yours turned up in the harbor after being picked up near the Chasm. She gets taken into protective custody by the Liyue Qixing. Why? Don't know. Their records are tougher to get my fingers into, so I can't get you the specifics on how she managed it, but... got my guesses based on how things played out."

The brunette is seen in the photos speaking with and laughing with several individuals. Not least of which were Keqing and Ganyu.

"She's become a favorite little assistant by most of the seven. Even if she's officially assigned to work with Ganyu. That's to say nothing of how she gets along with everyone else in the Jade Palace. You bring up her name and they'll have a story. In the time she's been here she's fallen into being a .... mascot? Best way to put it. Not the best at her work but she's got charm. Cute thing, but dense as hell. I've only talked to her once or twice myself. When I'm working around there I can usually get in touch with the seven myself."

Wylan pauses. Memories of goat kick.

"For better or worse~" He smirks, taking a moment for another bite of his meal. After swallowing, he waves a hand. "Suffice to say. After everything that happened, and depending on what the Liyue Qixing know already about her circumstance, pulling her out will raise very very obvious questions. And none of the Northland Bank would appreciate it. I wouldn't appreciate it either. But I can make things work if it goes south. Can't say the same for you. Or Eleventh."

[itsclydebitches]

Post-canon universe where Mary ends up becoming a tattoo artist.

It starts when Ed winds up visiting the Bonnet household. Maybe he went there after Stede’s “death” only to learn that the Gentleman Pirate is out looking for him. Maybe this is post-reunion and they’ve just popped by to check on the kids. Whatever the reason, Ed ends up hitting it off with Mary and is particularly enamored with her art studio because holy shit you did the lighthouse painting!

He needs a version of that on his body. Now.

And Mary is like, I’m sorry, Mr. Blackbeard sir, but the human body is a slightly different canvas from what I’m used to and I’ve never—

But Ed is already waving her off. You think pirates know what the fuck they’re doing either? Nah. You get a buddy sloshed on rum, promise him it’s gonna look great, tattoo something on his ass, and then keep out of reach when he first sees it in a shaving mirror. It looks like shit. Of course it does! But then you do it to someone else and it looks a little less shitty. Then again and again until hey, that’s some talent right there! So go to town. Can’t look any worse than what Izzy first put on his back.

By this point Ed has hopped up onto a table and pulled a kit seemingly out of nowhere. He’s also got his shirt off—this is fine—and Mary has to admit, some of his tats really are awful. Not all of them! But enough that she can precisely pick out where some drunk sailor was trying out a needle for the first time. And yeah, she could easily justify this through fear, telling herself that it’s not like she can say no to the intimidating, legendary Blackbeard. Dating Stede or not, the guy could slash her throat in an instant. Actually, dating Stede is a mark against any mental stability.

The reality though is that it isn’t fear that convinces her. Mary just looks at the spots of crappy ink and thinks, Fuck. I could do better than that.

So she does. 

Mary might not know tattooing yet, but she’s got an eye for art and she picks up the mechanics quickly. At her request Alma brings in a bottle of something far nicer than rum—casting an interested look towards the pirate that reminds Mary, with a trickle of worry, that she always was her father’s daughter—and they spend a surprisingly pleasant afternoon with Mary experimenting and Ed commenting on her paintings. Is that flower a vagina, Mary? Yes it is, god, no one else gets that!

Mary tattoos a lighthouse onto Ed’s arm, entwining it with one of his tentacles. It’s nothing fancy, but Ed leaves the Bonnet household pleased as fucking punch.

Which means, of course, that a few months later Stede shows back up (in a terrible disguise) begging her to give him his own lighthouse on the opposite arm.

Stede Bonnet, are you really asking for the symbol of our now defunct marriage after you left me, came back, came out as gay, and then had the gall to fall in love with the most dangerous pirate on the seven seas?

…Yes?

Yeah, alright, fine. Get on the table.

Mary has been practicing since she last saw Ed, discovering that she loves the permanence of tattooing—putting her art on a moving canvas; a part of someone’s very identity, not just their home. Though it’s hardly considered good form in their community, she even managed to find a tutor after promising Doug that she wouldn’t fall in love with this one. Or if she does, she’s not going to throw him over for the new guy. You should really talk to Stede’s friend Lucius, Doug. He has fantastic ideas about the whole thing.

Stede tells Mary all about their lighthouse fuckery while she works and she finds that this story is a damn bit more romantic than their awkward wedding vows. In the end, this lighthouse is far more detailed than Ed’s, with steadier lines and a bit of shading, and Mary can’t help but think that it fits their personalities quite well. Stede is so happy he forgets himself and plants an exuberant kiss on Mary’s cheek. She just laughs.

From there other members of The Revenge show up when it’s safe for them to sneak into town, all of them wanting ink from a member of their Captain’s family. Their family, now. After she’s given Jim a pair of crossed knives and Oluwande a small orange tree on his back; Frenchie a recreation of his lute and the Swede the notes of his favorite song, word starts to spread to other crews. Wherever The Revenge goes they show off their ink. Even when they don’t, Mary’s developing a style that’s noticeable in any tavern or seedy alleyway—far nicer work than what anyone else has got.

The first time an unknown pirate shows up on their doorstep in the dead of night, Mary very nearly stabs him with one of the knives Jim gifted her. She whisper-yells at the poor bastard about manners and coming during business hours, really, what is wrong with you? After a sheepish apology, she brews an obscene amount of coffee and inks a child’s portrait onto the man’s arm. It’s by far the most challenging tat she’s done to date and somewhere around 4:00am, bleary-eyed and energized, Mary thinks that she’ll never want to do anything else again.

More pirates come after that. Doug worries. Mary reassures. As a compromise, she starts taking clients while her widow group meets. The presences of nine or so women who have nothing to lose—alongside Evelyn glaring from the corner—is more than enough to keep even the toughest ruffian in line.

Which isn’t to say that every client is a good experience. Oh no. Mary learns and more importantly, she listens, figuring out which pirates have beef with an ally of The Revenge, or who would sooner sell out their own than part with a single coin. On the truly worrisome visitors, the ones who do nothing to endear themselves during the long session or any of the repeat visits, Mary adds a small flower to their designs. Just her signature, she assures them, but everyone on The Revenge knows that it’s a message: don’t trust this one, watch your back.

Most though are surprisingly pleasant to spend time with. Sweethearts just dealing with a fair bit of trauma, as her ex-husband might say. When they thank her and try to press purses into her hand, Mary just shakes her head. It’s not like she needs the money. Instead, she draws out promises that they’ll do right by The Revenge and its co-captains, should they ever cross paths. When her family visits, Mary hears many tales about the crews that unexpectedly assisted during a tough raid, offered a good deal on supplies, bought them all drinks when they came into port.

Mary is the laughingstock of the town. She’s the woman whose husband ran out on her to become a criminal and then didn’t even have the decency to stay away, instead dying in a thoroughly tactless fashion. She’s the woman who gave up a lucrative painting career to instead take up a lowlife’s art form—if it could even be called such—with all manner of scoundrels calling on her. She’ll end badly, wait and see.

Mary is beloved by the pirate community. She’s the darling of Blackbeard and the Gentleman Pirate, more than capable of holding her own with both. She’s the woman whose ink you want etched into your skin—always safe to visit, always compassionate, and unspeakably talented. She’ll go far, wait and see.

Of course, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Mary teaches Louis how to draw and makes Alma promise that she’ll finish her education before following her father to sea; she takes Doug to bed each night and with his encouragement visits Evelyn many afternoons. She’s happy.

Shockingly, so is everyone else. Mary isn’t entirely sure what to make of the waspish man who shows up on her doorstep one afternoon, but he’s easily recognizable based on Stede and Ed’s descriptions. Israel Hands has just three tattoos: the ace of spades to mark his time in the Navy, the swallow for a well-traveled pirate, and a lopsided cross on his cheek that Mary almost asks about, before thinking better of it.

He wants a fourth tattoo. A lighthouse on the back of his neck.

It’s been a long time since Mary first started tattooing. It’s not that she forgot about her previous lighthouses, of course not, but any additional meaning doesn’t register as she works up a design to show Izzy. After all, he’s a sailor. A pirate. Most of them want something to connect them to the sea and there are only so many objects that do that.

The placement is a bit odd though. Mary warns him that he’ll have to keep his hair short for the tattoo to show, shaving the fine hairs regularly. Izzy just grunts and mutters for her to get to it. Mary doesn’t realize the significance of him allowing her to hold a razor to his neck, in his blind-spot no less. At this point, she’s considered an extension of the only two allowed to do the same.

This lighthouse is perfect. After years of work Mary is easily able to navigate the muscles in Izzy’s neck; the thin scar that—she shivers—is just a little too close to his jugular. Mary knows how to make her art catch the eye when Izzy stands tall and how to keep it from looking absurd whenever he twists his head. She doesn’t know this man well, but Mary senses that this piece should be meticulous and detailed, not a single line out of place. So she pours everything into the image, holding Izzy steady with a grip he doesn’t flinch from.

It's only months later, when the family comes back to visit, that Mary realizes what she’s helped accomplish. Izzy stands between his two captains and from the back she sees that all the lighthouses are balanced, like the top of a nautical star.

Oh, Mary thinks as Ed slips a hand onto the small of Izzy’s back; Izzy leans his shoulder into Stede’s. There it is. 

[meeowerzz]

more hs headcanons?

hihi I have more lame hcs and I’m going to make it everyone else’s problem ^__^

>out of the alpha kids jake is the shortest

>>out of the beta kids rose is the shortest (with june coming in at a VERY close second)

>>height lineup from shortest to tallest is jake>rose>june>roxy>jade>dave>jane>dirk

>janes favorite thing to bake is red velvet cakes

>deemed too violent, flarping isn’t really allowed to be played on earth c so everyone joins a dnd campaign (game night is every other thursday)

>after a sunburn dirk tans while dave freckles

>roxy’s gender fuckery made things click for june

>in terms of lameness edrian is a redditor, sollux is a discord mod, and karkat is a twitter main

>roxy and rose go out to dinner together monthly and talk ab how much they love their alien partners

>towards the end of the meteor dave lowkey moved into karkats room (dude just kept showing up and ended up sleeping in there a good chunk of the time)- no one brings it up besides rose to fuck with him

>karkat needs glasses but refuses to get his eyes checked

>terezi has a preference in women but didn’t realize that until after her thing with dave

>dirk has a shitton of plant allergies due to not being in contact with them until he was like 16-17

>if roxy lived in our time period she’d be a twitch streamer (develops games on for itch while streaming)

>jade has never been to a store in her life. it agonizes every other beta kid

>I personally believe in juneskarezi supremacy

>karkat used to make a big deal ab his bday (mainly to cover up the massive relief he experienced knowing he survived another sweep) but stopped doing it on the meteor.

>aradia and dave love talking ab their dead thing collections

>jade is the only one of the kids that can actually sleep in a recuperacoon for some god forsaken reason (june is the only other kid who has attempted)

>kanaya is so excited ab june feeling comfortable in dresses and regularly tries to reramp their closet (although june mainly wears tshirts)

>speaking of shirts: dave just has a shitton of random ass shirts following the vibe of ‘women want me fish fear me’ + this shirt

>kind of like how u can do body mods like giving urself sharp teeth I think some trolls will carve patterns into their horns (it’s not common but it’s cool)

>dave malfunctions every time he sees dirks/jakes sbahj tattoos like he cannot rap his head around it being a massive franchise (he plays it off in a cool way tho)

>calliope and nepeta are best friends

>terezi is banned from bath and body works

>dirk really likes the aquarium

>I think it was only hinted at in the credits so unsure if it’s canon or not but rose is jewish

>dirk isn’t religious but will do activities with u if asked to join in

>speaking of the wedding: june played the piano at rosemary’s wedding

>earth c gang did a massive group cosplay as the adventure time cast for halloween once

>alpha/beta kids favorite holidays are as followed: june- april fools, jade/dave- xmas, rose/jake- halloween, jane- new years, roxy- valentines day

>>dirk doesn’t have one

>true love is modding doom and playing it on ur robot girlfriend (arasol on the meteor)

>the strilondes are all hella fucking awkward ab their relations so they’re just like an awkward sibling group (except roxy and dirk ofc)

>sollux was a DARE kid + is against all drug consumption but he vapes

>>alternatively aradia likes weed sometimes

>beta troll height line up goes as follows: feferi>karkat>nepeta>terezi>aradia>tavros>edrian>equius>vriska>sollux>kanaya>gamzee

once again this post is rlly long so lmk if y’all want more ^__^