#awful or anything
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violetsandshrikes · 1 month ago
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I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family
I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives
Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.
The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.
Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.
It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.
She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.
I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).
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solarwreathe · 1 year ago
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let’s not talk about this, ever
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toscrollperchancetomeme · 4 months ago
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“I got upset about 20 years ago because I thought it would block me,’ she says. ‘However, it’s been very easy to avoid reading any, so live and let live. If I were a young writer, I’d want to own my own ideas. But maybe fan fiction is a transitional phase: whatever gets you there, gets you there.“
x
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dovewingkinnie · 1 month ago
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what if she abstracts because of caine
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pencilmint · 2 months ago
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Sunset in Shinjuku
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egophiliac · 2 months ago
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last chance to guess what the new round of birthday outfits will be!
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bwooom · 2 years ago
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ok. icebreaker-type question. imagine time travel exists, but all of the serious super big things that likely come to mind when time travel is a factor is stuff youre not “qualified” for, as a civilian. what stupid, petty, thing do you use time travel for?
personally, i’d buy this one limited-time pin from a con i had no chance of going to, and also buy some transformers animated toys while they were still being sold.
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babykittenteach · 6 months ago
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No Context Reasons You Should Watch Dead Boy Detectives
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identitty-dickruption · 6 months ago
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one of the worst things in the world is that feeling unloveable can (and will) make you act in ways that reinforces itself. I feel unloveable so I don’t respond to messages so people reach out less so I feel unloveable. one of the hardest things in the world is fighting back the brain demons long enough to break the cycle
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months ago
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The dog days are over.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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trekfacility · 6 months ago
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love ds9 out of context
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morganbritton132 · 5 months ago
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Eddie posts an old home video to his TikTok account. He’s not even in the video. It’s just Steve, in the early nineties, squinting at something off camera like, “Ew, look at that creature! What is that? How did that get in here?”
Then the camera pans over and it’s Mike glaring at Steve from the couch like, “Oh, fuck you.”
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bunnieswithknives · 6 days ago
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Thanks.
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bluegarners · 9 months ago
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bruce and dick are both emotionally repressed but in kind of different but parallel ways. like, the repression that bruce experiences stems from never confronting trauma or any negative emotion, whereas dick's repression stems from needing to be the emotional support for an emotionally repressed man at the ripe age of 9 and so never being able to process any emotions associated with that responsibility
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lazylittledragon · 14 days ago
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mini mcm dump 🖤
only 24 hours out and i already want to go back
(puppetstarion was made by bokkicat!!)
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uncanny-tranny · 8 months ago
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Please intentionally attempt to see the magic in everything. Everything is magic, even if you understand the "boring" reasons why things happen. Look at the magic in growing plants, the magic of your muscles flexing and retracting, the magic of your eyes and skull, the magic of a cat's purr.
It's all magic. Understanding the "why" is just understanding what makes things magical, it doesn't change that it's all significant and magic.
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