#awful ass pic lmao

[justicefortulsa]

hes three apples tall

[eldritchmochi]

same guy!!!

[kindergarten / ~2008] / [2016]

[2023] / [2022]

[papil0nglegs]

Friday night night funkin dating hcs!!

Warnings: Some nsfw stuff but nothing too far, boob grabbing, bra stealing, nudes but not rlly

A/n: I HAVE ANOTHER OBSESSION UGHHH, anyways!! I’m so happy the fandom is reviving bc of the new update ahh. Also I didn’t rlly know what to put for bc so apologies if you wanted more of him :(

Keith (bf):

He’s such a flower sniffer istg

He’s like a rosy cheeked sweetheart who brings you heart chocolate every time he visits you

No but actually he’s wrapped around your fingers, it’s scary.

His fav dates are you and him alone at his house watching Godzilla movies and laying his head against your stomach while you play with his hair

AND YOU WEAR HIS HAT

Sometimes you’ll send a pic of you in his boxers that he left at your house just to tease him

But whenever he feels silly (which is all the time) he’ll send a picture of him in your bra for funsies

“I can do that too :D”

“0_•”

Keith is such a nerd, playing video games with him is your go to date

You guys would always match, like whenever you two play Mario kart he’d be toad and you’d be toadette

You hype him up sm, esp when playing Fortnite 😭

Y’all know that one Tik tok audio that goes

“Yeah get his ass FUCKING PUSSY TRY THE FUCK AGAIN BITCH, TRY THE FUCK AGAIII”

You do that, and it scares him.

His fav activity? Pot + cartoons.

You guys are the silliest couples ever. Laughing at SpongeBob with fog all over the room until your ribs start to hurt.

“Babes.. do you think that like-Starfires armpits are also pink?”

“…woah”

Pico:

Now when pico first starting dating you he thought you were just another chick to stuff his wiener in.

But soon enough, you guys were both wrapped around each others finger.

He’d kill for you tbh

Pico canonically has abs, so he likes it whenever he’s chilling with you and you just poke/rub them. He thinks it’s the cutest AND hottest shit ever

This man cannot get enough of your boobies, whenever he’s on his phone he’d have his arm around you and casually use your boob as a stress ball.

Sometimes he’ll just steal your bras whenever you’re showering or changing, just so that he can get a fresh look at ‘his girls’ (that’s what he calls them)

“Pico!! Have you seen my bra?”

“Hm? Na babe, I’m js here.”

This sly fuckin ginger

Most of his dates consist of going to his fav burger joint or sleeping over at each others houses

He esp loves the second one cuz he gets to makeout with you, prob his fav thing to do in this life.

Whenever you guys leave any function, like ever, he’ll yell out your ship name as he leaves the room 😭

“Pi-y/n, OUT”

“Babe you don’t have to do that every time we leave..”

Also his dad (Tankmen) loves embarrassing him in front of you.

(Tankmen) “Yeah so Pico kept pissing himself in the bed until 7th grade, shit had me concerned but turns out it was just normal puberty shit.”

(You)“Oh..”

“Dad I’m gonna kill you.”

Lmao he did eventually

Darnell

Darnell has such a big ego on being a ‘cool tough guy’, but when it comes to you it entirely washes away

It embarrasses him whenever he’s around his friends and you come over and start smooching him all over his face, getting lipgloss/lipstick all over him

“Mwah mwah mwah!!”

“B-baby. Babe, you’re ruining my aura.”

But he loves showing you off, you’re like his biggest flex. Whenever he hangs with his friends he always shows pictures of you like you’re his newborn

“Yeah so this is when we went to the skate park the other week and-“

“Dude. This is like the 5th picture you’ve shown me of them.”

Once for Valentine’s Day, he surprised you by spray painting an entire wall of you smooching him. (But like in the style of the fnf stickers they sell)

You were in such awe, you almost cried.

He was so embarrassed to show you at first, but when he saw how much you loved it he was so relieved

You and Nene are such besties

Like, squealing while talking about boys besties

“HII Y/N!!! :33”

“OMG HEY NENE!! ^^”

So when she found out you had a crush on Darnell, she was so excited

You guys became delusional abt him together, like

“NENE TODAY DARNELL LOOKED AT ME”

“STOPP HE WANTS YOU SO BADD”

“IKR”

O and your weapon (cuz everyone in picos friendgroup has one) is a broken glass bottle of whatever your fav drink is

Sometimes you’ll throw in a burning rag in there to make a Molotov cocktail

Also I hc that Darnell has thick silver rings and you love how they feel against your neck whenever you guys are smooching.

He lets you wear them at times but they always slip off because our boy has some THICK fingers.

[sl0t4matt]

hard launch with hector fort 🙏🏻🙏🏻

h. fort | hard launch

love love this trope. thank u, anon!! also added a few more posts than just the hard launch hope u don’t mind :)

youruser kinda in my wag era rn

liked by hctorforrt_ and 679.055 others

random OMG WHAT

random she’s fine af how did he pull her lmao

╰┈➤ random they are both very attractive bro

random did somebody say hard launch?!

yourbestfriend hottest wag

╰┈➤ youruser luv u

random who’s she and why is she with hector

╰┈➤ random prolly his gf

hctorforrt_ i still don’t know what that means

╰┈➤ youruser r u slow i told you like 10 times

lamineyamal thank god i can’t keep secrets

╰┈➤ youruser 🙄🙄

╰┈➤ random lmao lamine knew

random can someone watch my grwm? 🥺

╰┈➤ random no 🥺

marcguiu9 someone took my bitch

╰┈➤ youruser bohoo 🥺

╰┈➤ hctorforrt_ marc 😫🫃

╰┈➤ youruser homosexuals

╰┈➤ random theyre dating atp

╰┈➤ random LMAO i love her 😭

random noo hector 😓

random wha- shocked.

lamineyamal gonna be a long ass era

liked by creator

hctorforrt_ still not sure how i pulled this 

liked by marcguiu9 and 308,940 others

youruser ur cute

random hottest couple

random i think we missed a chapter or two

random crying rn she’s pretty tho

fcbarcelona champ on and off the pitch 🤙

liked by creator

random lol this came out of nowhere

random she’s beautiful

liked by creator

random WTH HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND

╰┈➤ random yes and she mogs u

random they compliment each other so well

╰┈➤ random fr both hot af

marcguiu9 i accept i guess

╰┈➤ youruser thank you for your blessing🙏🏼

_ferminlopez my kids

╰┈➤ random daddy

╰┈➤ _ferminlopez come again?

╰┈➤ random oh

random she only wants him for money

╰┈➤ youruser omg you caught me 😰

╰┈➤ hctorforrt_ lmao

╰┈➤ random she’s a model i’m sure she has her own money

433 goat good luck!

liked by creator

random HARD LAUNCH ⁉️

hctorforrt_ added to their story

hctorforrt_ she said she would look “so sexy” pregnant

╰┈➤ youruser bitch why would u post that (i would totally rock being preggo)

hctorforrt_ wym you always look good (only with my children tho)

youruser you flirt 🤭 also i’m totally not letting you get away with this

hctorforrt_ yeah sure

hctorforrt_ i was zipping up her dress lol

liked by youruser and 208.086 others

youruser stop talking big you literally couldn’t do it for shit

╰┈➤ hctorforrt_ i did it in the end tho

╰┈➤ youruser yeah when we were already late

random the last one 😍 she’s so cute

lamineyamal papi when r u posting yourself 🥵

liked by creator

╰┈➤ paucubarsi i miss his face too 😔

╰┈➤ marcguiu9 me three

╰┈➤ youruser ew

╰┈➤ random they are so funny 😭

youruser i’m gonna get revenge for the story wait up

╰┈➤ hctorforrt_ shivers down my spine 😱

╰┈➤ youruser okay bitch it just got worse

paucubarsi i think she has something on her nose

╰┈➤ hctorforrt_ omg really bro 😱

╰┈➤ youruser leave him alone 🙄

random it’s always the models

╰┈➤ random literally stop calling yourself a fan when you say shit like that

╰┈➤ random just let him be happy omg?!

youruser i’m kind of liking this wag lifestyle

liked by marcguiu9 and 469.976 others

marcguiu9 JAJAJAJAJA

liked by creator

random omg haha hector looks so cute in that picture

lamineyamal slaying fr

╰┈➤ youruser ate fr

paucubarsi the pic of hector is killing me

╰┈➤youruser u and everyone else

hctorforrt_ you’re evil

╰┈➤ youruser it’s your own fault 🥱

hctorforrt_ just because i’m in love w u doesn’t mean u can do shit like that!!!

╰┈➤ youruser aw you’re in love with me 🤭

lamineyamal nah deserved after that story

╰┈➤ youruser i know right!

╰┈➤ paucubarsi fr did you dirty with that

╰┈➤ hctorforrt_ you’re supposed to be MY friends?!

╰┈➤ youruser hah! they love me more

fcbarcelona hector always been a culer 💙❤️

liked by creator

random why is no one talking about how good she looks?!

liked by creator

[cowboylu]

Kissimmee, baby

These pics make it look a lot more depressing than it actually is 😭 anyway no warnings and so specified masc/fem reader I don’t think there’s anything else lmk if I missed anything. Also is my first post on here I really don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing lmao but if I stare at this any longer I’ll kms

ꕥ

“Baby!” You laugh down at Abby from your bedroom window. “What happened?”

She’s soaking wet with what looks like an empty fish bucket in one hand and all of her fishing gear in her other arm. Apparently the fishing trip with her dad didn’t go as smoothly as she thought it would.

Abby sets down her armfuls of stuff and shields her eyes from the near noon sun, looking up at you before she replies.

“Fuckin’ fell in!” She giggles, trying to feign irritation but the image of you smiling down at her from your shared bedroom's open window makes her forget about her soaked clothes.

“No shit.”

“Come kiss me.” She smiles. That big one that scrunches up her nose.

“Not when you’re soaking wet.”

“I’m not soaked, just damp.”

“Awe.”

You feign disappointment and she rolls her eyes playfully at the double entendre as you shut the window and descend down to meet her.

“You look like shit.” You smile and close the screen door behind you, leaning against the porch railing.

“You’re not coming in like that.” You look down at her muddy boots.

“Kiss me and I’ll think about coming in through the back door.”

You laugh with a raised eyebrow but jog down the porch steps to meet her in the driveway.

“If you taste like saltwater, I swear to god…” you half joke, putting a hand on her cheek to pull her closer.

She brushes her cold nose against yours and you gasp when her cold hand meets your back through your pyjamas, pressing you against her damp torso.

“I won’t. It was a lake.” She murmurs before pressing her lips to yours.

She always feels warm. Even when she’s cold.

Abby grants you about ten seconds of peace before she’s wrapping her wet arms around you, lifting you off the ground and pulling you over her shoulder.

“Abby!” You laugh, pressing your hands on her lower back to keep yourself upright.

“Oh, look at that!” She says sarcastically, a hand on your ass, as she carries straight through the front door. “You’re wet now too. Gonna have to shower with me.”

[cxcewg]

your social media aus are amazing!! i was wondering if you could do a private relationship between charles x singer!reader (fc: olivia rodrigo) but fans find out?

sour

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!singer!reader - requested type: social media au (fc: olivia rodrigo) author’s note: aw ty! im glad you like my smaus. anyways, your wish is my command 😚 i aged her up a year for this cuz it'd be a bit weird if they started dating right after she turned 17... also her birthday is no longer february first time i used stories (the format def tripped me up) and i don't know how to edit it so i just tossed some pics on and called it a day - let me know if you know anywhere where i can make insta stories :) tumblr fcked up several times so uhm 😔had to rewrite this a couple times... hope this did your request justice! ❤️ warnings: none! masterlist

liked by charles_leclerc, tatemcrae, and 3,832,719 others

yourusername recharging ⚡

view all 10,391 comments

tatemcrae motherrrr

yourusername ❤️

conangray literally screaming

yourusername love youu

ynshq we love yn button —------>

motherism.ts recipe?

yourusername the cookies turned out a bit hard haha but we used the sallys baking addiction one motherism.ts omg you responded! thank you, i will absolutely make them someday :) ariswifey we?

karenelliot Charles, what are you doing here?

elizxbeth LMAO HE LOVES HER MUSIC TOO karenelliot He has good taste. amielliot.1 mom please stop... amielliot.1 it's so creepy when you use grammar this isn't a work email

liked by camila_cabello, tatemcrae, and 3,117,231 others

yourusername some behind the scenes from the making of SOUR. time of our lives! swipe ➡️for a jumpscare 😂

view all 12,299 comments

tatemcrae stunning omggg

camila_cabello luv uuu

andreaxx the second pic has me in tears 😆

a_esliehiggins fr lmao

id.otsandwich i love her she's so funny

ynhate she is overrate asf their are 0 good songs on her ass album kanye west is way beter

jana.b04 *overrated *there jana.b04 fix your grammar first sweetie 😘 ryanandblake4life oh girlie...

kaufman.sharlene uh is anyone seeing the guy behind her in the second pic? cuz that doesnt look like dan at all

liked by scuderiaferrari, joris_trouche, and 1,395,103 others

charles_leclerc Feels good to be back on the podium! Now to recharge the batteries for a few weeks and enjoy some sun 😘

view all 8,383 comments

joris_trouche LET'S GO ❤️

whyisitalwaysme im so happy omg

malcom.parker charles leclerc is so overrated. girls only like him because he's cute.

chrles.lechair bruh yes he's cute, but that's only a bonus chrles.lechair i like him because he's a nice guy, a great driver, he has a great mentality (just look at baku 2017 or bahrain 2017), he's one of the most talented drivers on the grid (rookie season 2018???). he just needs a good car and good team. liked by yourusername lucasduncan for reallll it needed to be said de1dre.brxan amen chrles.lechair OMG YN LIKED I DIDNT KNOW SHE WAS A CHARLES FAN

hherman look at that adorable smile

p1erre.gf1 im so glad ferrari didn't fuck it up for him he does not deserve it

f1l8ley THE KISSY FACE IS BACK AGAIN LETS GOOO

lestappenfliccs who was that girl you were spotted with?

moll.s who??? lestappenfliccs look at enews's tweet moll.s hes cheating on max???? lestappenfliccs and carlos too 😭

liked by billieeillish, francisca.cgomes, and 2,831,481 others

yourusername 21 has never felt sweeter 🌙

view all 16,942 comments

billieeilish gorg

yourusername love uuuu

conangray happy birthday to the most annoying person on the planet!

yourusername love you too 😘

francisca.cgomes lindaaaa aproveite 21 beautiful enjoy 21

yourusername te amooo love you hiltonkam.l kika?

maxineb.ford where you at rn?

yourusername london! doing some traveling in europe right now 😘 maxineb.ford nicee whered you go? yourusername spent some time in belgium maxineb.ford fun! did you go with madison or iris? yourusername sadly not, they're very busy but i spent some time with a friend of mine 🥰

jjmils shes so pretty

ynfan.1 adam fumbled so hard

janisbarton bruh she was too good for that asshole ashlycamerons and then he cheated janisbarton men ☕ ynfan.1 she was so out of his league frr

bettyrice24 the eyes never lie 🥺

lalaur05 girl you tryna make sumthin outta nuthin bettyrice24 smh im just sayin i think our girl has a new boy toy on the scene 😘

liked by madisonhu, irisapatow, and 2,831,481 others

yourusername 🌴love feels extra fun in the sun ❤️

view all 19,151 comments

madisonhu 😘

conangray wish i was there 😭

liked by yourusername

magsmm oh my god the CAPTION?! is yn tryna tell us something?

bettyrice24 guys… i seriously think mother has been snatched up

lalaur05 bruh she posts like 2 pics and you’re like “oh shes got a boyfriend” stop speculating lalaur05 like just chill bettyrice24 no but seriously like these pics shes def not taking it so shes with somebody obviously lalaur05 oh wait you’re right bettyrice24 iris and madison are busy bettyrice24 AND AND like conan said he wished he was there so hes not there

charles_leclerc followed yourusername yourusername followed charles_leclerc

yourusername posted on their story!

viewed by conangray, tatemcrae, and 190,819 users liked by 2,381 users

conangray replied to your story!

conangray girl this isn't your close friends conangray WAKE UP STOP MAKING OUT yourusername huh? yourusername shit

tatemcrae replied to your story!

tatemcrae spill. tatemcrae now. yourusername what????? tatemcrae 👀 tatemcrae OK START TALKIJNG GIRL TELL ME HIS LIFE STORY

870 users reacted to your story view more

683 users reacted with 😮 197 users reacted with 🥲

yourusername deleted their story!

yourusername posted on their story!

viewed by charles_leclerc, madisonhu, and 1,938,296 users liked by 8,294 users

liked by your_username, conangray, and 4,178,444 others

charles_leclerc I think you're more than sweet enough. Two years with you have been the best in my life, Ti amo, je t'aime, I love you 😘 i love you, i love you, i love you

tagged yourusername

view all 16,589 comments

conangray you better take good care of her 🔪

charles_leclerc With my life. ❤️ yourusername conan- yourusername charles 🥺 yourusername come here so i can give you a kiss

madisonhu the caption im crying 😭

pierregasly damn 2 years and you're still scarring me every time

yourusername learn to knock

landonorris i went through hell keeping this a secret

yourusername we really should not have told you landonorris hey i'm great at keeping secrets yourusername im sure

apples.oranges THIS WAS NOT ON MY 2023 BINGO CARD

i_fulton1 I KNEW IT WAS HIM ON HER STORY

velmab99 THE BANDANA

bettyrice24 AHAHA WAHT DID I SAY

lalaur05 🙄 bettyrice24 YOU'RE BUYING

irene.larson01 bruhh charles mfing "i am stupid" leclerc managed to pull HER?

oliviakhan there is still hope for me nothoughtsheadempty charles lecrizz who?

liked by charles_leclerc, charlottesine and 5,911,385 others

yourusername i thought i was purple until i met you. always cheering for the red team, always yours ❤️

tagged charles_leclerc

view all 18,185 coments

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️❤️

landonorris also does this mean we can get front row seats to your next concert?

lovingleclerc lando 💀 landonorris what? i want to go 🙄

tatemcrae i cannot believe you didn't tell me 😭

yourusername im sorryyyy please forgive me 🙏  tatemcrae i accept paddock passes as an apology btw username shes so real for that lmaoooo

lovingleclerc im crying so hard where can i find a love like this

roscoepawparazzi 😭time to take a bath with my toaster

single.sad. heading to the highway, anyone with me?

banana_leclerc ✋

francisca.cgomes aaaa tão fofo so cute

charlottesine belleeee beautyyy

yourusername je t'aime 😘 nous devons nous réunir un jour! i love you! we have to get together one day time44hammertime i love that they're friends apples.oranges THIS WAS NOT ON MY 2023 BINGO CARD EITHER honeybadger3 OH MY GOD CHA HI teamlando4 did charles homie hopper leclerc strike again?? f1gossipnews i actually heard that cha introduced charles to yn after they broke up so 😌no more homie hopper leclerc pieasstree eek i love this sm yn is such a girls girl mrstealyogirl charles needs to watch out his ex is about to steal his girl lol

taglist: @remyspams 😘

requests are open! (i promise i'm working on them)

[diorsluv]

feather , part 22

“ with you out my life ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, _quinnhughes, edwards.73, and 81,177 others

yourusername she’s officially a single pringle nowww ‼️ if u see me on tinder no u dont 🫢🫢

view all comments

jackhughes i love pringles

→ yourusername pringles don’t love you back

→ trevorzegras jack’s been a single pringle longer than you have yourusername

→ lhughes_06 oh 😒

luca.fantilli is that why you popped up when i searched up the girl of my dreams

→ yourusername good thing it’s called a dream for a reason 🥰

→ luca.fantilli i knew i shouldn’t have turned to tiktok for pickup lines

→ lhughes_06 oh 🫤

username20 why is luca flirting with mini drizzy this aint right

mackie.samo swipe right when you see me

→ yourusername why are you all doing this

→ rutgermcgroarty not if she sees me first

→ adamfantilli jokes on you she swiped right on me already

→ lhughes_06 oh 😓

trevorzegras not for long 😘😘

→ yourusername get the hell away from me i’m barely legal

→ trevorzegras you are not “barely legal” 🙄 AND ALSO stop making me look like the bad guy

→ yourusername you are the bad guy

→ trevorzegras i’m fighting the urge to strangle you

→ yourusername i don’t my brother would really appreciate you saying that 😒

→ lhughes_06 oh 🤬

edwards.73 your hands look pretty

→ yourusername hand kink????

→ edwards.73 WAIT NO FUCK

→ markestapa eddy this is not what we discussed

→ luca.fantilli bro you did it wrong

→ edwards.73 i’m sorry 😕

→ lhughes_06 oh ��

username12 why the hell does luke keep going “oh”

→ username3 and why the hell is everyone tryna make a move on my girl 😟😟

colecaufield my friend’s younger brother was asking about you

→ yourusername jokes on you i know you don’t have any friends

→ jackhughes is this about who i think it’s about

→ colecaufield no one of our friends’ brothers actually asked me about her.. jackhughes

→ lhughes_06 oh 😞

markestapa damn how’d you manage to crop me out of that first pic

→ mackie.samo the implications are wild

→ dylanduke25 wow u were in her bed 😱

→ yourusername yes dylan he was in my bed WAITING FOR ME TO PAINT HIS NAILS

→ markestapa HELL NO i was just watching you do yours 🙄🙄

→ lhughes_06 oh 😧

username99 luke keeps oh-ing i’m slightly scared for him!

username45 SHE’S FINALLY FREE

→ username24 escaped booking.com’s basement

→ username27 BOOKING.COM???? 😭😭😭

username71 are they all commenting this shit on purpose lmfaoooo

username36 if their goal is to make luke mad i’m sure they’re succeeding

→ username2 fr i can hear him sobbing from here

jamie.drysdale

liked by _alexturcotte, mackie.samo, rutgermcgroarty, and 64,312 others

jamie.drysdale reminder to never break up with someone over text

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

_quinnhughes she’s gonna kill you LMAO

→ jamie.drysdale oh please she can’t even push me

→ trevorzegras jamie last time she quite literally almost knocked your head on the corner of the counter

yourusername first of all JAMIE I CANT BELIEVE YOU

yourusername THIS IS SO FUCKING FOUL

yourusername LIKE THATS AN OUTDATED PIC YOU CAN’T USE IT

yourusername I’M NEVER FUCKING VISITING YOU AGAIN

yourusername and it wasn’t text it was warzone because he blocked me on everything else 🙄

→ jamie.drysdale one, that’s embarrassing, and two, STOP SPAMMING MY COMMENTS

→ yourusername ok mr proper grammar

→ jamie.drysdale your so annoying

→ yourusername okay i take it back your grammar is ass

adamfantilli aw was she crying

→ jamie.drysdale yeah we got a noise complaint from our neighbors

→ yourusername i can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not 😕😕

→ adamfantilli aw were u crying ☹️😔😖😣😩😪

→ yourusername aw did i accidentally block you ☹️😔😖😣😩😪

colecaufield don’t tell me she was actually crying over blaker

→ jamie.drysdale she was!

→ yourusername she was not!

username27 first pic is me knowing dryshughes is never gonna happen

→ username89 IT WILL HAPPEN

→ username37 DONT PUSH UR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ONTO US

→ username14 ur praying for our downfall arent u

username54 honestly tho she’s a mood

username28 i cant believe jamie actually posted this

jackhughes i just realized you have her saved as “fucking menace 🥰”

→ jamie.drysdale i hate her

→ yourusername don’t u think that’s a little mean jimmy johns????

→ jamie.drysdale god here you go AGAIN with the nicknames 🙄

→ yourusername YOU LAUGHED AT MY NICKNAME FOR JACK WTF DO U MEAN

→ jackhughes HUH WHAT NICKNAME????

→ yourusername don’t worry about it jacky boy

edwards.73 i could’ve sworn i heard a witch screeching but ig it was her crying

→ mackie.samo it’s okay man we all heard it

→ jamie.drysdale can confirm that’s what it sounded like

→ yourusername can confirm i’m being harassed by my friends and brother

→ dylanduke25 we were never your friends yourusername

→ yourusername oh 😥

yourusername i forgot to say i’m not heartbroken

yourusername so STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE I’M SAD

→ jamie.drysdale i thought i told you to stop spamming my comments

→ yourusername i’m not even spamming ur such a baby 😒

→ jamie.drysdale RESPECT ME IM OLDER

→ yourusername whatever

next chapter notes ) like i said in my other post i’ve been so tied up in school it’s been hard to get these chapters out WITH GOOD QUALITY nonetheless i hope it was still enjoyable albeit late 😭 also i forgot to mention but u mightve noticed the song lyric at the beginning of the chapter is NOT in order (yes it annoys me) but i didnt wanna repeat lyrics so that’s just how i’m gonna put them in for the rest of the song: if the lyric has been repeated then i’ll skip it til i get to the next new one 🙏🙏

tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s @jackquinnswife @freds-slut @love4ldr @blueeyedbesson @43hughes @v1olentdelights @dancerbailey3 @random-human02 @ho3forfakeguys

[wc-m0ch4]

Shadow the Hedgehog x gn! Reader NSFW Headcanons

I forgot that you have to reply to an ask directly so he's the image of said ask lol

(Separate note but I kinda wanna do some of the rottmnt or 2012 tmnt bros so I might be doing some stuff on them next lol anyways–)

Shadow is on the dominant side I feel like this is obvious LMAO

Like he might occasionally sub but it'd be like a power bottom sort of thing

He'd definitely be into forcing his partner into submission

BRAT TAMER

sorry

Anyways

A close runner-up is having a S/O that willingly submits to him from the get-go

Send nudes/ revealing pics to this man PLEASE–

Imagine you're texting Shadow asking him when he'll get home and he's all 'it's going to be hours before I get home, be patient' yada yada then you send a pic in some lingerie and he just:

"Be ready."

Then like 10 minutes later you're getting railed LMAO

He's got a folder of every dirty picture you've sent him and he'll tease you about them

You walk in on him sorting through them and he laughs when you get embarrassed

"You're the one who sent the pictures. Did you think I would waste such works of art?" And he's got a pic of your ass on screen LMAO

I think he'd be into photography during sex

Not sex tapes but like he's got a Polaroid camera specifically for when you two go at it

Also I think he'd like punishment

Okay imagine Shadow makes a bunch of rules for you to follow in the bedroom that day but he purposefully makes it so you can't AHAKDNABKAND

"Aw, couldn't do it, love? I guess I'll have to fix that."

And there rules to follow during the punishment and if you don't follow them.... sheeeshhhhh

Like let's say he spanks you, you have to count each one, thank him properly each time, you're not allowed to squirm or whine, like you are so FUCKED (LITERALLY)

I don't think he's really into bondage exactly but let's talk about him tying your hands and then telling you if you want to cum you have to figure it out yourself OMFGGGGG

You try to hump the heel of your foot and he mocks you the whole time

Adding on to that, he's into orgasm denial/control

If ya want your orgasm, ya gotta work for it, thems tha rules

He'll use toys and give you tasks to do

He'll have you sucking his dick while he controls the remote vibrator inside you

If you want him to turn up the speed, you better get to gobblin that cob yfm?

I think Shadow would prefer missionary so he can see your face, so you can wrap your legs around him, so he can grab at your hips and nipples, etc.

Okay so outside of the bedroom–

Shadow manspreads and it's just MMMMM

He'd do things in public that turn you on without even thinking of it lmao

Like he'd grab your hips when he's trying to move past you

Or whisper in a low voice in your ear

Or say things without realizing the double meaning (a perfect opening for 'that's what she said' jokes)

Okay continuing on,

I think he'd have some sort of claiming thing going on

Cum inside you/on you, mark you (bites, bruises), writing on you, etc.

I mean like you're your own person, of course.... but your his

Okay I know I've been going on about his kinks but overall I think he'd be pretty vanilla is just occasionally he'll get more risqué

That's when all the kinky shit pops out

Not entirely related but Rogue would probably ask you some time into the relationship if y'all have done the deed LMAO

And if you say 'yes' she's asking for details lol

Anyways that's all I got for today, thank you my dear anon <3

Happy Holidays to everyone! I wanted to do a holiday themed thing but that might be coming later (like months later lmao)

Requests are open currently and I'll see y'all soon ;)

[reegis]

Yo! Do you have any notes/tips for your coloring process? I've always had trouble with that part of drawings looking good lmao and I really like yours! If not for your specific style, do you have any tips with that in general?

Iv gotten a few asks about how I color but iv always avoided answering because

A) I am absolutely awful at explaining things, and

B) I am a very Very lazy artist you should probably Not do the things that I do

BUT i feel bad gatekeeping(?) my horrible technique if it helps anybody ig ill try and explain so

✨✨✨Welcome to Reegis’ Probably Not Reputable (But Very Long Winded) Art Advice✨✨✨✨

line art of a random character for the example, just pic whatever colors you have in mind for your base colors, you can try using palette generators or basing it off of existing palettes/characters/whatever I have absolutely no idea how color theory works (& this is why you shouldnt listen to me) so im solely going off of vibes. but it is Rough so onto step 2 & 3

(edit to add i usually start off with the skin hair & clothes on separate clipping layers and merge them together towards the end.. i think i forgot to say that at all here oops)

I abuse the hellll out of layer blending modes. overlay, saturation & multiply mainly, but also difference, brightness & screen. (just doodle something & try all of em out to get a feel for them honestly ik theres a Lot and they can be intimidating) for this i just wanted a more cohesive warmer tone to start with so i added a peachy overlay & a slight ombré to the hair to add a bit more interest to the character.

then just the most basic of rendering, some blush & highlights just wherever i think theyd go.

Another thing they tell you Not to do, my next step is to block out all my shading in a vaguely purpleish multiply layer!!! i cant be assed to do it any other way im sorry…. once i have the basic shading down, i lock the layer & go in with air brush eraser & also airbrush in other colors wherever I think the purple is maybe too harsh/clashing

still wasnt 100% happy with the colors so messed around with some more layer filter/modes/whatever you call them then colored in my line art! i think this is honestly the saving grace for all of my art shshsdhhf color your lines people. doesnt have to be all (i dont, i like the contrast) but it usually helps to make some at least a little less harsh

then with a little more color tweaking im done! one random sleepy dude, fully colored (by my standards)

and then if a piece needs more dramatic lighting you justttt

im so serious play around with layer settings! these are just basic multiply & add(glow), there as so many others you can abuse the shit out of & nobody will know or care in your finished piece.

was this?? in any way helpful???? I hope so.

[m3t4l-cru5h3r]

my very first mass attack!!! I worked on this all throughout the month, and am so proud of it !!! :D

character owners: @snawbeanart, NotSoCreativeGhost, @splitathon, murderermariocookie, @graveyardzhift, @albeolambda, @faffreux, @bustersw0rd, binky_dink, @mothball-arts @hisuiansnow, RottenEctoplasm, Guhzea, HaxorusRose, @shagapult, ladybow, @ninjuku-kaiju, OctoTape, @aw-colorcat, MagiArts, @darknadaworld @churroach, @sleepyplante,

I'll put the wips down here:

so, i have an evil secret. i used minecraft to model the background.

this surprisingly did not take as long as i thought it would. only a few hours.

then i drafted where i wanted each character to go

then onto sketching

even though i made the background in minecraft so i didn't have to fight with perspective, it was still a pain in the ass for me. eventually i ditched the sketch and color-blocked everything instead

not going to lie, i wish i did Way better with the lines. but i was getting bored of the bg at this point. i was fighting with it for days lmao

then i finished lining and coloring all the characters (here's a pic of everything without the filters)

that's it!! i thought it would be nice to share that, since it took so long :O

[bleach-your-panties]

🌃third and final installment to nnn!

🌕banner made by me in pic collage

🌃divider: kaqpsuik via glitter-graphics

🌕warnings: nsfw 18+. mdni. modern au! candy store owner kisuke, established relationship(marriage), kisuke & reader are older adults, reader is female, fluff, angst, marriage/sex troubles, somnophilia/sleepy sex, breeding kink, sweet surprise at the end!

🌃3.1k words (i cannot write short fics lmao)

🌕: dedicated to all the kisuke stans that followed me back in the day. this one's for y'all!

▶️take your time (do it right) - s.o.s band

▶️take you down - chris brown

ooo-oo, baby

(let's do it)

take your time

(let's do it)

come on, baby

ooo-oo, baby

(let's do it)

take your time

(let’s do it)

—-

You hummed to yourself while swinging your hips and sweeping the floor.

The constant sounds of the cash register ringing and jovial customers sending greetings your way made a light smile tug the corners of your lips.

Kisuke, your loving husband of over twenty years now, had owned this candy store for as long as you could remember. 

When you'd first met, you were almost instantly enamored with how well he could relate to all of the children in the neighborhood. 

He was always kind and attentive to them, even managing to remember all of their names, siblings’ names, grades in school, and of course, their favorite candies. 

Kisuke was sort of like the Santa Claus of Karakura Town and this quaint little store was his workshop. 

One could only imagine that the man would be as sweet as the confectionaries that decorated the shelves in his store, and that assumption would be correct.

Sweet, thoughtful, quick-witted, intelligent, and charming were all pretty adjectives to describe your husband.

As well as meticulous, over analytical, overcritical, anal, particular-

Ah, and your favorite:

Workaholic.

“Is there something wrong, Urahara-san?” Your husband's busty, blonde employee asked as she bounced over to where you stood.

Rangiku began working for the Urahara Shoten as a freshman in university; now, fast forward three years and, early next quarter, she'd be graduating with a degree in Fashion Marketing.

“Huh? Oh, it's nothing Rangiku. Now that you mention it though, I am feeling a little lightheaded.” 

You gave her a weak smile and continued your cleaning, but you miscalculated your next step and almost went hurtling face-first into the wooden floor.

“Uh oh. HEY JINTA! URURU!” Rangiku hollered across the shop, alerting some of the customers, but most importantly the two middle-school aged children.

“Take over the sweeping and watch the front counter while I go make Urahara-san some tea.”

The two nodded and Jinta took the broom from you while Ururu replaced your slipper on your foot.

“Thank you dears, I appreciate you both so much.” You kindly nodded to them.

Rangiku began leading you towards the back of the store to the break room. 

“You really shouldn't have to worry so much, Rangiku. I'll be fine, really.”

Despite your protests and reassurances that you were alright, she still helped you settle into a chair before maneuvering over to the kitchenette to put on the kettle for the tea.

Waving her hand dismissively, she only turned around to face you when she wanted to inquire about which tea flavor you'd prefer.

“Ah, well let's see. Ginger sounds nice. I've had an awful bout of nausea along with these headaches and lightheaded sensations.”

She raised a questioning eyebrow at you but you pretended not to notice.

You were sure that you were probably just coming down with something, what with the weather rapidly changing from autumn to winter.

Besides, when was the last time that Kisuke actually took the time to finish inside of you?

He was so busy with the store these days that if he even bothered to make love to you it would be rushed and he'd finish on your tits or ass.

You got lost in your thoughts, going down multiple rabbit holes full of negativity. Wondering if Kisuke even found you attractive anymore.

With a heavy sigh, you laid a hand against your cheek. Rangiku brought over two teacups and a plate of rice crackers.

“Thank you, Rangiku. You really are a lifesaver.”

The warm, ginger tea immediately spread a feeling of healing and nourishment throughout your tired body.

To be honest, you worked just about as hard as Kisuke did in this store, but you usually never let work prevent you from participating in self-care. What was happening to you? 

Rangiku slammed her arm down on the table, making you let out a surprised yip. The teacups rattled from the motion. 

“Now that we're alone, you can finally tell me what's been bothering you, Urahara-san…”

“W-what's bothering me?” You mentally cursed yourself for stuttering! 

There's no way that you can tell Rangiku about the issues you and Kisuke have been having in the bedroom.

You brought the cup back to your lips to hide your expression.

—-

you know you ought to slow down

you’ve been working too hard and that’s a fact

sit back and relax a while

take some time to laugh and smile

—-

Bashfully, you scratched at your neck then fiddled with your wedding band - anything to distract yourself from answering the busty blonde’s question.

“Well…it's kind of embarrassing to say, and I don't want to sound like I'm complaining…Kisuke is a wonderful husband and he works so hard.”

Rangiku's palm slapped on the table this time, once again threatening to spill your teacup.

“Ah ha! So it is about that scruffy old man! I knew it!” She wagged a pink-manicured finger at you. 

—-

Kisuke had just returned to the shop. He made a stop at the bank to make some deposits and to order a new book of business checks.

He hung his coat on the rack by the door and greeted some customers before walking up to Tessai who was currently working the register.

“Where's Rangiku and Y/N?” 

Tessa handed a customer their receipt then pushed his glasses up his nose.

“I believe the lady of the house wasn't feeling well, so Rangiku took her to the back to sit down. She was working very hard today, must have tired herself out.”

Kisuke's blonde eyebrows furrowed but he nodded, giving Tessai a simple ‘thank you’ before walking off towards the back rooms.

The shop also doubled as Kisuke and your living area. 

It was set up like a small apartment, just enough space for the two of you to live in comfort.

It wasn't anything flashy - modestly decorated and very homey - for a couple your age.

He began making his way back towards your small home, but promptly stopped when he heard voices coming from the break area.

“You don't have to be embarrassed, Urahara-san. You can talk to me about anything that's troubling you, always. I won't tell a single soul, I swear!”

Rangiku’s boisterous voice, no doubt.

Then your softer, meeker one.

“It’s just that, sometimes, I feel like Kisuke isn't attracted to me anymore. When we make love - if you can even call it that these days - he doesn't even come inside anymore! Oh Rangiku, what do I do? Am I.. am I not attractive enough anymore?” 

Kisuke could definitely hear a wobble in your voice and it made his heart tighten inside his chest.

You really thought he didn't find you attractive?

“Nonsense! You're just as hot as the first day I met you, and if that old fart can't see that then that's his problem, not yours!” 

He could've fallen to the floor. A giant tick mark etched its way onto the side of his blonde head.

Despite Rangiku’s…bluntness…he could understand how you might feel that way. 

Most days, he was exhausted after work and wanted nothing more than to just cuddle up to you and drift off to sleep in your arms. He’d have to admit that making love to you properly had taken a back seat to his hectic work schedule. 

He still tried his best to please you, which is where the quickies came in. 

Being married came with many day to day challenges, but the last thing that Kisuke ever wanted you to feel was that he wasn't attracted to you; god, he's so damn attracted to you.

If he had more time throughout the day, he’d have you pressed up against every surface in that goddamn apartment.

Even though it’s technically eavesdropping, he’s grateful to hear what you'd been too ashamed and uncomfortable to talk to him about. 

Now he knew exactly what he needed to do to make this right.

—-

lay your heavy load down

so we can stop and kick back

it seems we never take the time to do 

all the things we want to, yeah

—-

Later That Night

Once the store had closed for the evening, Kisuke sent all of his employees home and told them not to return the next day, as they would be closed for ‘cleaning.’

No one questioned him (many welcomed the time off, especially Rangiku who'd likely spend the day shopping until she dropped.)

After your chat with Rangiku, you had decided to turn in earlier than you usually did tonight.

You took the time to actually do your skin care routine; it made you feel just a little bit lighter and way more relaxed.

Donning a simple nightdress, you fixed your hair into your bedtime style, slipped your feet into your slippers, and headed off to bed with a cup of tea, this time lavender and chamomile.

—-

Kisuke decided that he’d put off completing some financial reports until tomorrow - tonight he had plans for you and him…

….That was until he came to bed and saw you already fast asleep.

He thought you looked so endearing this way with your arms cradling his pillow as your body laid halfway between yours and his side of the bed.

His slippered feet padded quietly along the hardwood floors, desperately trying to keep his movements subtle enough so as not to wake you.

Kisuke’s cock began to harden in his sleeping pants as he got closer to you: the swell of your ass sitting taut against your nightgown with your hip hiked up just enough so he could see your panties. 

But the thing that had his dick absolutely throbbing was the simple sparkle of the diamonds in your wedding rings. The moonlight trickling in from the bedroom window covered you in an ethereal glow.

You looked like a goddess.

A true sleeping beauty.

A knee sank into the bed, but you were ever the clueless to your husband joining you.

Two thick, muscular thighs enclosed your hips, gently nudging them over until you were laying flat on your tummy.

A rough hand caressed all the way from the ball of your foot, calf muscle, up to the crease behind your knee.

Kisuke hesitated a bit, stopping his movements when you let out a soft sigh.

“Kisuke…”

Oh shit. Was he caught? 

He began to withdraw his actions until a small hand encircled his wrist.

Hooded gray eyes trailed up your form until they met your sleep-filled expression.

Your lips were upturned in a dopey smile, your e/c eyes clouded over with sleep but also lust as you looked at him from over your shoulder.

“Yes, my darling? What is it you need from me? Don't be shy now…”

Kisuke’s knuckles dragged along your inner thighs, your slick making it easier for the rough digits to slide against your warm skin.

He pinned you down with one hand on the back of your neck. Your face squished against the cool silk of the pillow as your husband began to tease your folds in preparation for his cock.

“Please, Kisuke…need your cock inside..” You babbled incoherently; your mind was foggy with sleep but still you were cognizant enough of your actions to consent to your husband fucking you.

Kisuke groaned low in his throat behind you, grazing his left ring finger over your clit. The cold metal of his wedding band made your thighs twitch and clamp down around his hand.

“Shh, shh…you will, baby; just be a bit more patient for me, alright?”

Nodding impatiently, you pushed your pussy further against his hand, rubbing your juices against the long, thick digits. 

“So wet, baby. Don't tell me you missed me?” You could hear the stupid smirk in his voice. 

“Stop playing, Kisuke, you-” 

SMACK! 

The flesh of your ass cheek jiggled against his palm, which he then smoothed over the reddening mark. 

“Hush up, woman. I know how to take care of this pussy, been doing it for over two decades now.”

Now he was the one getting impatient as he continued to play with your ass cheeks with his right hand while his left stroked your leaking slit. 

Two fingers, the ring and middle, eased inside your wet hole - making both you and Kisuke moan out loud. 

“Oh yeah, this pussy’s as tight as the first night I ever fucked it, baby…” 

He leaned his upper body over yours to press a kiss into your open mouth. Your tongues swirled together in a passionate, lascivious dance. A dance of two lovers who both yearned for the other so desperately. 

Pulling back for air with a wet ‘pop’, Kisuke removed his fingers from you and used them to stroke his dick. 

“Kisuke...please.”

“Nuh uh, lie back down. Ass up, just how you were. Got a lot to make up for, baby. Let me do it.”

—-

now, baby we can do it

take the time, do it right

we can do it, baby

do it tonight

baby, we can do it

take the time, do it right

we can do it, baby

do it tonight

—-

The slow, calculated movements of Kisuke’s hips grinding you into the mattress had you gripping the headboard for dear life. 

His cock filled you up so well, taking up every inch of space in your lower half. 

You in turn ground back against him, your ass making soft ‘plip plip’ noises from your combined arousals melding between you. 

It was as if the both of you were trying to glue your bodies together so you'd never have to separate from each other again. 

“Fuck, Kisuke…it's so good, baby.”

He would've responded if he wasn't so focused on how hard you were gripping him. How in the hell had he ever managed to keep himself from cumming inside of you? 

With only a few more strokes he'd be filling you up, splattering your walls with his seeds and then pulling out to watch your little cunt struggle to hold it all inside. 

Wait, no. 

No no no. 

He wouldn't let any of it slip out, not a single goddamn drop. 

If anything, he'd use his fingers to plug you up and keep his essence inside of you where it rightfully belonged. 

That's it. That's what he was going to do. He's going to breed you tonight, right here. Right fucking now. 

His hands gripped your neck and peeled your upper body off of the bed. 

You arched into him perfectly as he continued pummeling your pussy from the back. 

The entire bed shook from his enthusiastic movements, and then you felt a sweaty mop of thick, blonde hair press into your shoulder. 

“Need to cum inside you, baby. 'm so sorry, so so sorry, precious. You're all I'll ever need - fuck! - need to fill this pussy up, please let me, baby!”

Your cheeks blushed at the high, desperate tone of his voice and you reached a hand up to grab at his soaked hair. 

Once again your lips slotted together and Kisuke moved one hand between your legs to rub at your clit. 

“Yes, please Kisuke! I need it, need you! I love you, Kisuke!”

That's all it took for him to bust inside you right there.

Ropes and ropes of warm, sticky cum filled your trembling core as both you and Kisuke collapsed to the mattress below you. 

“Fuck, fuck…ah, God…” He was trembling just as much as you were! 

The bed sheets were wet from your combined releases. Kisuke wasn't finished with you, though.

“K-kisuke!”

You groaned his name as said man flipped you over like you weighed two ounces and hooked his forearms underneath your knees.

His heavy cock hung between his legs, drenched in your release with the head steadily dripping more droplets of cum.

He lowered his head to your overstimulated cunt and rubbed his stubble over the rim of your ass.

Your abdomen lurched up, but he pressed you back down by driving his nose into your pubic mound. His strength far outweighed yours, so you had no choice but to lay back and take it.

“This is what you wanted, right? Well you got it. I'm not letting you up until you and this entire fucking bed are soaked in my cum, princess. So let me do it.”

—-

take your time 

ooo, baby, take your time

if it takes all night

you can do it, you can do it, alright

you can do it, you can do it

to the early morning light 

—-

Few Months Later 

“Thank you, please come again!” You smiled cheerfully and handed a customer their bag.

“That's the last one, darling. Time to close up for the night.” Kisuke pressed a kiss against your temple and wrapped his free arm around your waist, with only a slight bit of difficulty.

Ever since your passionate romp in the bedroom a few months prior, Kisuke had implemented a new rule for the store: early close on Thursdays and Saturdays. Today was Saturday.

Once Rangiku, Tessai, and all the other associates had gathered their belongings and wished you both a good night, Kisuke whisked you away into your bedroom and locked the door.

He began unbuttoning his shirt, removing his cell phone from the breast pocket and setting it on the nightstand.

You reclined back against the soft pillows strategically aligned against the headboard.

“Don't forget to take it easy, Kisuke.” You dutifully reminded your eager yet adorable husband. He only smirked in return.

Crawling over to you on the bed, now shirtless and exposing his muscled torso, he grabbed your right foot and began massaging gently. 

A deep sigh left your lips, making him smile. He pressed a kiss to your ankle before raising up onto his elbows.

“Of course, my love. You know I'd never do anything to hurt either of you.” 

His left hand moved to rub over your slightly swollen abdomen.

“You know I think we're going to need to move into a bigger place soon.” You threaded your left hand with his.

“Right you are, beautiful. I've already set the plan in motion, so don't you worry….

“...just lay back and let me take my time and do you right.”

----

ʳᵉᵇˡᵒᵍˢ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᵖᵖʳᵉᶜⁱᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵉⁿᵗˢ🫶🏽

[pricegouge]

Thank you for the tag @mikichko ! Ive been a bad little reader this past year so bear with my boring answers lmao

1) last book I read

The Decagon House Murders by Yukito Ayatsuji

2) a book I recommend

God Bless You Mr. Rosewater by Vonnegut goes under praised I think

3) a book I couldn't put down

Whispers in the Snow by Darcy Coates. It's not actually very good, and the sequels are even worse, but it was a page turner!

4) a book Ive read twice or more

Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis. Its been a hot minute so maybe it doesn't hold up, but I always found the prose quite funny and I liked the way in contrasted the pretty bleak subject

5) a book on my tbr

@400badrequest just recommended Sunshine by Robin McKinley, so that!

6) a book I've put down

Into the Woods by Tana French. This fucking book has sat on my shelf for literally a decade and the premise is convincing enough that every few years I try picking it up again but I just CANNOT get into it

7) a favorite book from childhood

Was a MASSIVE fan of the Eragon series by Christopher Paolini. So much so that even as a grown ass adult I kinda wanna re-read them so I can finally get that fourth book under my belt

8) a book I would give to a friend

A very few specific friends but, Between Men by Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick

9) a fiction book I own

Cities in Flight by James Blish

10) a non fiction book I own

Movements in Art Since 1945 by Edward Lance Smith

11) what I am currently reading

Nothing cause I've been awful lately but the last book I bought was You Let Me In by Camilla Bruce so perhaps that in a few days

12) what I am planning on reading next

Maybe the Leviathan Trilogy by Scott Westerfeld, seeing as it comes so highly recommend by prev

13) my shelfie

I don't have a proper book shelf because my reading area is too cramped, so have some pics of the area I like to call the used book store cause it's all just kinda hanging around (featuring an overgrown dog in need of a haircut)

I'll tag req cause I already did and I want more suggestions :) and @stellewriites @duskier @dozeydaisy @dwarvenales

No pressure and sorry if there are any repeats!

[legacyshenanigans]

You know what, fuck it, I'm gonna tell y'all another story, while I'm reminiscing to myself about past shit. To be honest, this one really is wild as fuck, it's probably one of the most scary and downright STUPID things I have EVER fucking done. And looking back, I can't help but CRINGE at myself for being such a fucking idiot.. So strap it for this one. 😅 Its like..NOT even funny, but I can't help but use laughing emojis because thats just how I fuckin deal with things lmao. It's another "Met someone online" story.

I'd again, being 18 and stupid, I met a guy online, exchanged numbers, we spoke on the phone a few times, I thought he was hot from the pics i'd seen, I was down to fuck, so was he, so he asked me to go to his house.

First red flag was the fact that HE could drive and I couldn't at the time, yet he didn't want to come and pick me up, I had to get to his place myself, So I did. I had to take like 2 different buses and then a taxi to his place, because he lived in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.

So I pull up to this gaff, walk to the door, knock, some man answers and I ask if *dude I'd been talking to* was there, and he tells me that it's him. I'd been catfished, dude didn't look ANYTHING like the photo's I'd seen of "him" but it was definitely him because i knew his voice. He very confidently invited me inside, and I WENT INSIDE..

His house was literally a wreck too, it looked OK from the outside, but inside was awful, there was literally walls missing and stuff, and it was just a complete mess, kinda like he was in the process of having work done on his house, but the house was also just minging and gross, and it smelt weird as fuck, and just from looking around it wasn't just one room, this dudes whole ass house was like this.

Anyway...I don't know WHAT THE FUCK I was thinking at the time but he starts kissing me and I GO WITH IT. I assumed he was going to take me upstairs to his bedroom, but he didn't he lead me into a garage area where there was a dirty old mattress on the floor, and we proceeded to have sex on it.

Now, you're gonna be like "Girl wtf?!" But the sex itself was pretty decent lmfao. The man knew what he was doing. HOWEVER the situation as a WHOLE was all kinds of fuckin weird and messed up 😅

Anyway...After we fuck, we kinda just like, sit there, on the dirty ass mattress for a while, talking, and then the realisation hit me and I remember thinking "Woah, this is weird, what the FUCK am I doing? I need to get the fuck out of here" So I got up and got dressed and politely told him I needed to go, I remember he just kinda nodded and was like "Ok cool" and I just left, I was in the middle of nowhere but I didn't wanna call another taxi, and have to wait around at his house for it, so I wandered down some dirty road for a while until I got somewhere I could explain to the taxi place where I was. Went back to the bus station, took another 2 buses and went home..

Took a screenshot of his dating profile.

Blocked him, blocked his number, sent the dating app an email saying that his profile was fake, and that was it.

So yeah.

Again..Wild...Wild and FUCKING stupid of me 😅

~

[cherries-in-wine]

hi! i love your pics. can you please give us a step by step tut on how to click aesthetically pleasing pics (only if you're comfy).

Aw thankyou so much anon <3 I'm so sorry for the late ass reply, my inbox is plagued by creepy men so asks get lost ://

I wish I had a step by step tutorial but i really don't lmao, i don't think I'm all that aesthetic either, but Tumblr finds my shit pretty so it's a win

My camera fucking sucks I have 4 year old android with a shattered screen, so I guess that how i get my low quality angelic vintage aesthetic.

Try to have like multiple things going on in your picture so the frame doesn't look empty (like if you want to take a photo of a letter, add lipsticks, roses etc) bonus points because Tumblr loves chaos.

Also i just see random stuff and go "Tumblr's gonna love this" and post yipeee

Try play around with lighting a bit, some colours look so stunning in the sun, while others look so pretty in dim light. Your photos really don't have to be perfect, infact that makes them more authentic so it's good to be messy and not care :))

Mwah good luck 🫀♡

[teenybratt]

we need to see that ass.

Aw come on I reblog so many pretty girls with nice asses. Mine isn’t that great in comparison lol

If I ever take an ass pic that I like you guys will be the first to see it lmao

[vaaaaaiolet]

With peace and love, WHERE are you getting all these fuck ass Leon pics from 😭😭😭. Leon on a scooter. Leon figurine straddling a bed. Leon doing a cunty little peace sign…..Like how filled is your Leon vault. I’m convinced you know this guy in person now

THIS IS MY FAVORITE COMPLIMENT EVER!!! I AM (with permission) KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!

i only started writing fanfic in feb of this year but my leon obsession unfortunately dates back a year before that. so before i got the balls to write anything i spent an awful lot of time on pinterest 😭

this is my leon board. i have it named like this to avoid suspicion in public. i'm also a huge history nerd so juan ponce de leon -> leon -> colonizer 😭

also i think it's the most fun ever replying with pictures <3 if you were nice enough to drop me an ask, it's my PLEASURE to bestow you with a lil something something in return <3

i hope you have a LOVELY day!! your ask made me ugly laugh LMAO