#awesome fics on AO3 to check out

[spacestationvampire]

kudoichi for the buddy

[corinnetheanime]

AND IT IS FINALLY HERE!!!! Happy Ecto-Implosion week, everyone!! The artwork and amazing fic collab that has been in the making for the past couple months is finally here for y’all to enjoy!!

Warning for implied character death/s, experimentation, mild violence, and overall mature themes.

It’s been an amazing honor to work with @thelightningstreak for the @ecto-implosion event!!! Her stories (looking at you, CHAINED) are some of my absolute favorites in the entire phandom since I first joined in 2013, and she’s been an amazing partner to work with! I was blown away by the very first draft alone! Seriously, give her some love, and check out her works!! Thank you, Lightning, for collaborating with me on this! It's been a joy to share this with you!! :D

Artwork title: Fiat Justitia, Ruat Caelum

[zentriii]

Most of the time? Atsumu's just a guy who acts before he thinks. Doesn't think before he acts. However that saying goes.

What feels good? What's easiest? What does he want?

Those aren't questions he writes down like life's an exam. They're simple urges that guide his actions during a typical day. He’s not a fan of overthinking the details.

He's been doing well enough for himself, so why fix what's not broken?

Unfortunately for Atsumu, there are times when this goes around to bite him in the ass. Covered in flour and three seconds away from screaming, well, he's shaking his fist at his past self again.

He sets the bag down onto the counter and peers in- great. Just what he was hoping for, there's not enough left.

Atsumu kicks the small pile of flour that was making itself comfortable laying on his feet and puts his thinking cap on. He’d wallow for a bit, but it’s too late at night for him to feel frustrated for long. It’s already half gone, slipping through him like a ghost. What's next?

Staring forlornly at the spilt four, he knows he has to throw it out. Sure the floor looks clean, but he hasn't swept in a week or mopped in. Actually, he's not finishing that thought. In too long's good enough.

He quickly sweeps up and takes a wet cloth for the bits that were left. Atsumu didn’t have the energy to chase the stubborn line the spade leaves behind forever. The recipe called for two cups of flour and he knows from just the look of it, there's not enough left. Fuck.

Alright so he needs flour. That's his solution. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with any steps he's willing to take.

Atsumu can feel the flour under his clothes, there isn't a damn way in hell he's going out in public looking like a hot mess. And honestly, it's the middle of the night. The clock above the stove helpfully supplies the time and puts the final nail in the coffin, 4:23AM. Even if there's a place open, it's nowhere near close enough. Not only would their PR manager have a fit if he got caught, he'd get clowned on by everyone until the day he dies for it. His friends and family don’t need that sort of ammo on him, they’ve already got enough as it is.

Atsumu shakes some of the flour out of his hair, if he's lucky one of the college students across the hall should be awake. It's midterm season, if his brother's grumbling over their last call is reliable. He stares mournfully at his apartment’s door. Hopefully the friendly one answers, because he's not looking forward to explaining himself to the one with the death glare.

The one with the death glare opens the door because of course the gods were laughing at Atsumu, of course they were. The words he had prepared die on his throat but thankfully Tall, Dark, and Brooding doesn't give the silence time to become awkward.

“Can I help you?” Grumpy-san asks, attempting to incinerate Atsumu with his eyes alone. Sadly for the poor guy, Osamu's been trying to do the same since the moment he came out of the womb, Atsumu's immune.

“D’you have any flour by chance?” Atsumu asks sheepishly, playing up the charm. He gestures vaguely to the mess on himself, “I kinda had a bit of an accident in the kitchen.”

“I can see,” The man drawls, not giving Atsumu an inch.

“What do you even need it for at,” he glances at his phone, “four-thirty in the morning.”

The Man with Moles glares at him, like he's a ten year old inconveniencing his teacher by asking to use the washroom.

“I'm baking cookies, would ya like some when they're done?” His voice is saccharine and his smile fake. Atsumu hopes his neighbour doesn't take him up on the offer. Who would want to spend more time with a guy that looks like he could make you shit yourself if he tries? So obviously, the hot stranger agrees.

“Are you going to poison them?” He asks Atsumu, and interrupts before he can answer, “Actually no, I don't care. They just better not taste like shit.”

He slams the door in Atsumu's face, which, rude, but gives Atsumu a chance to process what the fuck just happened. Ah well, a few cookies is a small price to pay, maybe he could even weasel a name out of Eye Bags for Days, it’s getting tough to keep coming up with names for him. A small part of him is offended at the lack of trust in his baking skills, but he’s aware of how he looks right now. Atsumu wouldn’t trust a stranger in sweats, knocking at his door at ass-o-clock, asking for flour cause he got it all over himself.

The door opens as abruptly as it closed, and a container of flour finds it way into Atsumu’s hands, damn, Curly Hair works fast. “Don’t come by again for another 10 hours at least. Good night.”

With that he nods a goodbye and Atsumu still feels stuck reeling. His Ma raised him with manners though, even if he deigns to ignore them most of the time, so he chirps a quick, “Thanks! Ya saved my life.”

His gratitude is sincere, his words, less so. It doesn’t matter much as his fellow insomniac’s eyes are bleary with sleep. Glaring must be exhausting. He grumbles something Atsumu can’t pick up, and closes the door, Atsumu takes that as a courteous you’re welcome or anytime, even if he’s not tired enough to actually believe it. The guy should’ve spoken more clearly if he didn’t want people putting words into his mouth.

Still mostly dusted in flour, Atsumu walks back to his place. A little lighter with the container of flour weighing him down, a little nervous to see the man again, a little annoyed at his curt responses. At least he’s interesting, Atsumu can’t stand boring people. He’ll just overlook the guy’s prickliness as sleep deprivation, he’s a kind guy like that.

updated vers on ao3

[hua-liansimp]

Never have ayaitto been more thoroughly described in a single sentence.

[notdeadyetnatural]

Just wanna say that I miss Dean daily. Gif that was so awesome

[destieldisaster]

Short one today. I fell in love with it when I first read it and it won't let me go:

sleep, pretty darling, do not cry by myaimistrue @myaimistrue (2k, rated T)

Dean has a nightmare, and then he calls Cas.

He doesn’t think very much before he clicks the call button. Cas doesn’t sleep, so it’s not like Dean’ll be disturbing him. He just. He just wants to hear Cas’s voice. He just wants to be reminded that there are good things in the world, things beyond this shitty motel and the mess in Dean’s head.

The phone call is basically the whole fic, but man this phone call! There's so much emotion, so much love between these two. One of the tags for this fic is Tenderness and yeah. That's exactly what it is. Tenderness over the phone.

omg it’s FAN FICTION FRIDAY

Reblog and promote a fic of yours <3

[kokoa-la]

Ngl I just find it so funny if Danny just accidentally becomes friends with someone trying to rob him like-

___________________________________

“Get up!”

And he was up, hands above his head and everything. The guy in all black proceeded to pat him down along his pockets while pointing a gun at him otherwise. 

“How do you not have a wallet on you?”

“I’m a college student, I can barely afford tuition.”

That’s a lie, he was on a full ride scholarship, but they didn’t need to know that. 

“Oh you too?”

Did this bitch just say ‘you too’ ? No way.

“‘You too?’ Are you doing this to pay for college???”

Ancients, the school system sucked if he had to resort to crime for this.

“Yeah- you wouldn’t believe how expensive my major is, the textbooks alone cost more than my rent!”

“Holy shit, no kidding. Yeah, why are textbooks so expensive? Why am I paying hundreds of dollars for something that could have been a 2 dollar pdf?”

“Right! I tried asking my professor instead, but he said he’d fail me if I didn’t have the right materials! It’s driving me nuts. Like how am I supposed to pay for all this?”

How Dannt started making conversation with his own robber, he didn’t know, but he was happy to finally complain with someone. He hadn’t exactly made friends since he got here.

“Personally I buy used books, and the more trashed they are, the cheaper. Then, you can just use the pdf version but still have the textbook in class. It’s honestly so much easier. Or you can see if you can borrow it from the library and just bring it in for the classes he checks it, then return it after to avoid the fees. That option is a bit more troublesome though.”

“Oh shit, no way! That’s awesome, I never thought of that, thanks man! Man, I wish I talked to you sooner.” 

“Yeah, it’s all good, maybe just avoid the crime after this? There’s tons of online jobs you can do during class and stuff. I don’t know, there’s always another option than crime. You sound like a good guy, just desperate.”

The robber turned friend (?) lowered his gun and sighed before returning the items in the bag to everyone. He then apologized to the cashier and then to everyone else before giving Danny a hug (how long had it been since he’d gotten one of those?) and leaving. Danny was so proud of him he almost cried (again). 

______________

I know it's a bit weird and out of place, but that's bcs its a snippet from a fic I'm writing on ao3 😭

But still, I need more of Danny befriending ppl trying to jump/rob him

[snowzapped]

A scene from the JayTim fic The Haunt on ao3. :D

Thank you to the awesome person who commissioned me. I had so much fun drawing this!

Go read the fic guys! It's such a good read but check the tags to be sure.

If you want a comic drawn, commissions are always open. Or check out the links below for more stuff. 🥰

commission info / patreon / ao3 / Buy Me a Coffee / merch store / art blog

[anarchycox]

Commenting By The Numbers

I have always said I am lucky when it comes to comments, even now when I have archive locked my fics. But I saw a thread on another blog and my brain went that cannot be right so I decided to check it out.

People always are begging for comments, that they make a writer feel like they matter, that they keep going/feel motivated because of comments. People respond, they are tired, scared, they have no spoons, don't know what to say, it already has so many comments does what I say matter.

But I think we all need some perspective on this.

There are 12.2 MILLION FICs on AO3.

Now lets sort by comments, lowering the number each time:

Fics with 1000+ comments - 17,041

Fics with 500+ comments - 50,223

Fics with 100+ comments - 361,390

Fics with 50+ comments - 742,970

Fics with 25+ comments - 1,488,302

Fics with 10+ comments - 3,297, 072

Fics with 5+ comments - 5,149,438

SO THAT MEANS ABOUT 7 MILLION FICS HAVE LESS THAN 5 COMMENTS ON THE ARCHIVE.

I exist in all these columns, because I had luckily timing on a few of fics. But looking at the hard numbers was a real eye opener for me as a fic reader. When people say they don't get comments THEY ARE SERIOUS.

Please, for the love of fandom and community give a writer a keyboard smash, a 'loved this', 'awesome fic'. You will honestly be making a difference in someone's life, when they have already made a difference in yours.

[justagalwhowrites]

Halcyon - Ch. 17: You're Sorry, Great. Awesome.

You and Joel throw Sarah a birthday party. Things don't go as planned. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 16, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

(I am BEGGING HBO for some flashback scenes this season PLEASE.)

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: SMUT! Unprotected P in V sex. Fingering. Kind of aggressive sex. Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 7k

AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

“You gonna come for me?” 

Joel was everywhere, fucking everywhere, deep inside, pressed tight over you, arms looped around beneath you, his breath hot against your ear as he sucked wetly at your neck. All you could do was whimper below him, clawing at his skin as you scrambled to keep him close. 

“There you go,” he said, voice low and quiet and rough. “Fuck, gettin’ so damn tight on me, you’re close baby, lemme feel you.” 

You angled your hips as best you could below him so that every thrust reached deep and every motion worked your clit. 

“Joel,” you breathed, desperate and too close to your climax to care that you sounded pathetic and needy. “You feel so good, fuck, please, please, please…” 

His thrusts grew harder, sloppy, panting breathlessly against your skin. 

“Love makin’ you feel good,” he said, sounding half out of his mind as he did. “Fuck, love makin’ you come, you gotta come for me baby, I need it, c’mon honey, please, fuck, I love, I love…” 

Your orgasm hit you hard, making you cry out, pressing your mouth into Joel’s shoulder to muffle the sound of your pleasure. 

“Oh fuck,” he groaned, his hips stuttering. “That’s right, keep comin’ for me, gonna fill you up, fill you up so fuckin’ good, leave you drippin’ me all damn day, fuck!” 

He pressed deep and you could feel the heavy throb of his orgasm as he spilled into you, his come hot and thick on your most sensitive places inside. The feel of him pressing himself tight against you, clinging to you like you were all he wanted, made you come again around him, this orgasm more subdued as you focused on just how damn good he felt inside you. 

“Holy shit,” he panted, going limp on top of you as both of your orgasms eased.

“Tell me about it,” you said, breathless too, trailing your fingers up and down the broad expanse of his back. 

He laughed a little. 

“Fuck I love startin’ my day that way,” he said, pushing himself up from you and kissing your forehead as he slid out of you, a thick thread of his come and yours connecting your bodies for a moment before he collapsed at your side. 

You waited, as you always did, for him to decide how close the two of you would be after. But he tugged you against him, so your head was on his chest and his arm was around your shoulders, giving you a squeeze. You draped your arm over his broad chest and snuggled closer, breathing in the smell of his skin. You always liked having time like this with Joel but you were extra thankful for it then, the stress of getting ready for Sarah’s birthday pool party easier when you had a few reliable orgasms every day. Now that the day had arrived and you had a list of things that still needed doing, it seemed necessary to soak up that closeness with him while you could get it. 

“Me too,” you said quietly. 

“Speaking of starting the day,” he said and you could hear the smile in his voice. “You ready to have about two dozen tweens crash in on us for the afternoon?” 

You snorted. 

“As I’ll ever be,” you said. “I think we have everything except the cake and a few snacks but we should check again before one of us goes to pick it up.”

“See, logistics like this are why I never did this before,” Joel teased. “So much easier to just show up at a bowling alley or some shit where they do it all for you.” 

“She’s going to have so much fun though,” you smiled a little, remembering going to Party City with Sarah a few weeks before to find things for the party. She’d excitedly picked all the purple butterfly covered decorations and invitations, beaming as she did, her front teeth still a little too big for her face. “You’re going to have cool dad points for months off this.” 

“Fuckin’ better,” he said and you nuzzled closer to him as you laughed and he sighed. “I’m gonna miss this, Goldie girl.” 

“What, starting your day fucking someone?” You teased even though it stung knowing that’s all it was. 

You and Joel had thrown yourselves fully into the friends with benefits arrangement over the last month. You fucked every day, usually before he went to work - when Ellie’s early morning cries got one of you out of bed for at least a few minutes to settle her before returning and getting tangled in each other - and again in the evening when Sarah and Ellie were both asleep and you could take your time - pulling orgasm after orgasm from each other until you passed out, naked and sweaty and slick with come. You loved it. Far more than you should love it, so much that you had to fight to keep from saying it and ruining everything. You’d finally found some way to almost have what you wanted, you weren’t about to wreck it just because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut. 

But it was all ending soon, anyway. Anna had a release date from the inpatient program you’d gotten her into and, after talking with her and her doctors, you’d decided that you and Ellie would move into Anna’s house for a while. That meant leaving Joel’s and his bed and the comfort you found inside his space. 

“Don’t act like you’re not gonna miss that, too,” you could hear the roll of his eyes as he spoke. “But I more mean doin’ stuff like throwing this party with you. If you weren’t here, I’d just be stressed about it if I were doing it at all. But you’re here so I can look forward to it and how happy it’s going to make her and I’m going to miss having you here to do that shit with.” 

“I’m not going far,” you said, smiling a little into his chest. “But I get what you mean. Taking care of Ellie was so scary at first but you’re here and now, it’s not. Because I’m doing it with you.” 

Joel trailed his fingers up and down your upper arm and you just lay there with him, feeling his warmth and the softness of his skin and wishing you could find some way to be this close to him all the time. 

“You could just have Anna move in here,” he said and you laughed. “Hey, I’m serious!” 

“I know,” you said. “But no, not the best idea for this stage of recovery, that’s a lot of upheaval when she’s already going to be adjusting to life outside and as a mom. But once I bring Ellie there, Anna’s going to be seeing a therapist daily and if she’s getting overwhelmed, she’s going back in. Who knows, I might be back here before you know it.” 

“Hate that you’re makin’ me be against you showing back up here,” he said, just as the alarm on your phone started to ring. He groaned and you rolled to turn it off but you were only away from him for a moment before he pulled you back with a little yelp. 

“Hey!” You laughed into his chest. “C’mon, we need to get going…” 

“We got time,” he said, his voice husky, his hand skimming over your side, fingers trailing up to your breast. 

“Joel…” you breathed, sounding just as needy as you felt and you tried to avoid the twinge of shame that crept in with that need. 

“C’mon,” he said, tilting your chin so he could kiss you. “Lemme have you again. We got time.” 

His hold on you tightened and so did the knot in your stomach and you knew you couldn’t say no to him. You never could. 

“OK,” you said softly. “We got time.” 

You were both still breathless when Sarah knocked on Joel’s door about 30 minutes later and you turned to muffle the almost maniacal giggle that slipped out of you as she spoke. 

“Hey Dad?” She called to you both. “Can we have pancakes?” 

“Sure thing, baby girl,” he panted. “Just… five minutes.” 

You could practically hear her frown through the door. 

“What are you guys doing in there?” She asked. “You sound weird.” 

“Just… gettin’ ready for the party,” he said and you snorted. He pulled you tight against him so your mouth was pressed tight to his chest. “Be out in a minute.” 

Once the two of you left the quiet privacy of his bedroom, things moved quickly. You bounced and fed Ellie while Joel made breakfast for the three people in the house eating solid food. After you ate, Joel cleaned up while you put Ellie in a baby wrap and worked with Sarah to decorate the living room and the pool. She carefully decided where she wanted the gift table and where the snacks should be, what games should be out, where goodie bags should live, stepping back and considering everything with a serious look on her face that you had to fight to not giggle at. 

“OK,” she said after a while as she surveyed the space and gave a firm nod. “I think it’s perfect.” 

“You picked a good set up, kiddo,” you smiled, not even irritated that you’d swapped the gift table and the snack table’s positions four times. “Everyone’s going to have a great time.” 

“I hope so,” she said, beaming. “I can’t believe I get a pool party! I’m going to go get ready!” 

You and Joel left Sarah at the house to do her hair while the two of you took Ellie to pick up the cake and the last few things you needed at the store. 

Your niece was strapped to your chest and you were halfway down the chip aisle when you ran into Alyssa, the friend at work you’d made at the start of the school year that you hadn’t spoken to in months, too wrapped up in everything with Ellie and Anna and Joel to do anything like maintain a relationship with a coworker. 

“Oh, my God!” She beamed at you, pulling you in for an awkward hug with Ellie to the side. “I haven’t seen you in… shit, months? How’ve you been? Busy, I see!” 

“Yeah,” you laughed a little. “I’ve had my hands full taking care of this one. My sister’s… sick.” 

“Well, she’s an absolute doll!” She smiled broadly, leaning in to Ellie who beamed back at her, smiling her little gummy smile. “Hi there, cutie! Are you keeping your auntie from writing the next great American novel? Are you totally worth it? I think so!” 

“OK I got the cookies, too,” Joel said, coming up behind you and putting his hand on the small of your back, reaching around you to drop the packages in the cart. “Don’t know what kids don’t like fuckin’ cake but…” You cleared your throat as your cheeks got hot, feeling oddly exposed at the idea of having someone see Joel’s casual intimacy with you like this, Joel’s face near yours in a place you might kiss him if the two of you were at home. “Oh. Hi. I’m sorry, have we met?” 

“Yeah, hi,” she smiled, straightening and looking Joel up and down in that way she had. “I’m Alyssa, we ran into each other when you came by campus toward the start of the school year. Good to see you again! It looks like you two have gotten…” 

“Oh, no,” you laughed quickly, eyes darting to Joel, hoping he wasn’t panicking at the concept of being with you. “No, no, we’re… he’s been helping with Ellie here, he has a daughter so…” 

“Yeah, I’ve just done it all before,” he said, an odd twinge in his voice. “Don’t mind helpin’ out.” 

“That’s so nice of you,” Alyssa said, still watching Joel closely. “God, there’s just something about a man who’s good with kids…” 

“We are in high demand,” Joel said, a new flirtatious edge to his tone that made your stomach get tight. “Sorry to pull this one away but, speaking of kids, we got a birthday party to get back and finish settin’ up for…” 

“Oh, of course,” she smiled, waving him off. “Sorry, I don’t want to keep the two of you on a Saturday! But… you know, if you two aren’t…” 

“We’re not,” you said, probably too harshly, not able to look at Joel as you said it. 

“Then maybe we could have a drink sometime,” she said, as though you hadn’t spoken. “She’s got my number, if you’re interested.” 

“Uh,” Joel said and you forced yourself to glance his way, his hand still on the small of your back. “Yeah, alright, I’ll… I’ll let you know.” 

“Looking forward to it,” she winked before looking back to Ellie. “Goodbye, sweet girl!” And then she looked to you. “So good to see you!” 

“Yeah,” you forced a smile. “You, too.” 

You watched her go before turning back to Joel. 

“Sorry, that was…” you searched for the word. “Awkward.” 

“Yeah, think you could have denied that a little harder,” he said wryly and you glared at him. “What? Don’t think I’m that embarrassing.” 

“You know you’re not embarrassing,” you rolled your eyes. “I just… don’t want to tie you down.” 

“You don’t tie me down,” he said. 

“That’s sweet,” you said, grabbing the biggest bag of Doritos and adding them to the cart. “But… you know, the lists did include helping each other find a stable relationship and -” you looked around quickly, lowering your voice as you did “- we both know that friends with benefits is not that.” 

“So you’re gonna set me up with your friend?” He asked, sounding almost annoyed. 

You frowned. 

“What, are you going to pretend like she’s not your type?” 

He just looked at you for a moment, his jaw tight. 

“Never mind,” he said. “Let’s just go get the cake.” 

“What?” You asked, following after him as he took over pushing the cart. 

“Nothin’,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“Joel,” you caught up with him. “Is everything…” 

“It’s fine,” he snapped as the two of you got to the bakery counter. “Just drop it, alright? Jesus.” 

“Fine,” you muttered as Ellie started to fuss against you. “Dropped.” 

But you didn’t want to drop it. You tried to find a way to bring it up again but Joel was still surly on the drive back to the house, his mouth still in a thin line as he carried things in from the car. 

“Are you really going to be like this all day?” You asked quietly as you set the cake on the table in the living room next to the butterfly themed plates. “Because…” 

“I’m not bein’ like anything,” he said. “I’m fine. I don’t know why you keep askin’.” 

“Because you’ve been acting weird since the chip aisle,” you said. “And Sarah’s been looking forward to this for like two months.” 

“She’s my kid,” he said, defensive. “I know that she’s looking forward to it, alright? And I have not been ‘acting weird.’” He put the words in air quotes. “I’m just stressed about making this party happened, not everything is about you and what your people think, Goldie.” 

You pulled back from him, his words sharp. 

“I’m sorry that my coworker thought we were a couple,” you hissed, keeping your voice low. “We’re not in high school anymore and while you night think anyone would be a better option than me but not everyone is going to just assume that you could never want me!” 

“That’s what you think?” He asked, stepping closer to you, his hands on his hips, his shoulders feeling unreasonably broad. “You think that’s why I’m upset?” 

“Aunt Goldie?” Sarah said, running into the room, a sarong in her arms and wearing the swimsuit you’d helped her pick the week before. “Can you help me put this thing on? I can’t figure it out.” 

“Of course, kiddo,” you said, taking the sarong and giving Joel a look. “Come on, we’ll get it figured out.” 

You left Joel with the snacks and went to help Sarah, trying to shove Alyssa and Joel’s shitty mood out of your mind. 

***

Sarah was happy. 

Joel kept reminding himself of that. 

Sarah. Was. Happy. 

That was the important thing, that’s what mattered, that’s what the two of you had been planning and working on for weeks, throwing Sarah the party she’d been begging him for for years. 

And now it was here, Sarah was happy and he had a grill full of burgers and hot dogs, a backyard full of 25 pre-teens and a handful of parents who’d volunteered to help make sure no one drowned. 

Including the dad of one of the kids in Sarah’s class. One who had a decade on you and Joel and was apparently single and deciding to make that your fucking problem. 

And Joel wasn’t sure how long he was supposed to stand here and watch you flirt with that fucking guy. 

It was bad enough, getting hit on in front of you at the fucking grocery store and watching you rush to dodge any connection you had with him. No, now he also had to deal with this fucking asshole who was - frustratingly - not really an asshole at all. 

Tim was a guy Joel had met a few times, one of the few hands on dads in Sarah’s class. They’d chaperoned a few field trips together and Joel liked the guy. Or he had, anyway. The pair hand bonded over their daughters’ love of Taylor Swift and learning how to do hair and their shared apprehension of the coming teen years. He was good natured, an invested father, a guy he’d have liked to grab a beer with sometime. He’d been meaning to try to get their kids together and see if he could actually, maybe, have a friend outside of you and his brother. 

And then Tim saw you and everything changed.  

Now, Tim was making Joel’s fist clench and his stomach tighten because he was making you laugh. You were in your swimsuit, one that made Joel want to touch every goddamn inch of you, Ellie in your arms in her little sunhat and you were laughing at something Tim was saying, that fucking smile of yours making his heart ache. That fucking smile holding so much promise when it was made for that guy because smiling at him was different than smiling at Joel.

Because, really, how would he measure up to someone like fucking Tim? The guy who actually made good money, who had bothered to go to college, who didn’t need to wait to accidentally knock someone up to get his shit together. And you obviously had a thing for guys who were older, Tim’s graying hair and casual ease making Joel feel at least a little lacking before let alone now. Of course you’d be interested in him over Joel. Why wouldn’t you be? 

“You alright?” Tommy asked, sidling up to Joel by the grill. 

“Fine,” Joel muttered, still watching you. Tim held his arms out and you passed him Ellie before reaching to grab a can of White Claw from the cooler next to you, smiling and cooing at Tim and Ellie as you did. Joel ground his teeth. 

“You sure?” Tommy said. “Because think that burger would disagree.” 

Joel frowned, looking down to find the patty on the corner of the grill smoking, the dripping fat from the meat making the fire flare up below it. 

“Shit,” he swore, quickly sliding the spatula below the burger and moving it away from the flames. 

“That one’s yours,” Tommy teased, taking a sip of his beer and looking out toward the pool. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Joel said, taking stock of the rest of the grill to make sure nothing else was on fire. 

“Goldie’s lookin’ good,” Tommy said after a moment. 

Joel’s grip on the spatula got tight. 

“Guess so,” he said. “I see her every day so… wouldn’t know.” 

“Oh I think you know,” Tommy said. “Looks like she’s gettin’ awful cozy with that guy over there.” 

“Hadn’t noticed.” 

“Really?” Tommy said, brows raised. “Guess you were… what, starin’ at the fence behind ‘em then?” 

“Fuck off, Tommy.” 

“I’m just sayin’,” he said. “Like to think I know you pretty well seeing as you’re my brother and all. Just calling it like I see it. Calling it like I’ve been seein’ it for 20 years.” 

“Well, you’ve been seeing wrong,” Joel said. 

“Don’t think that’s it,” Tommy said. Joel opened his mouth to argue but Tommy didn’t give him the chance. “Look, if you really want to sit on your ass about it forever, that’s on you. I’m just saying that it sure seems like now is a damn good time to work your shit out with her. Either that or decide to just be a miserable asshole forever because you’re stubborn. No skin off my back.” 

“You, what, think you know everything because you’ve found a woman who will stick around?” Joel snapped, fighting to keep his voice low. “You’ve been in a relationship for five goddamn minutes, don’t sit there and…” 

“Hey guys,” you walked over, smiling, Tim still at your side with Ellie in his arms. “ETA on burgers? Think I should go get all the condiments set out?”

“Not a bad idea,” Joel said, fighting to keep his voice even. 

“Want help?” Tim asked. 

“If you can just keep holding the wriggly one, that would be amazing,” you smiled, touching his arm. His fucking arm. You looked back to Joel. “I’ll get everything set out… Are you OK?” 

“Fine,” he said through clenched teeth. “Why?” 

“If you say so,” you said, turning back to Ellie. “You be good, squrimy wormy.” 

“She’ll be an angel,” Tim smiled. “Don’t even worry about it.” 

Joel and Tim both watched you go inside, Joel struggling not to think about the sway of your hips below the gauzy wrap you’d tied around your middle like a skirt. 

“Kids seem to be having a great time,” Tim said, looking out toward the pool. “I know Lucy’s been talkin’ about nothing else all week. Kid was born in December but I can already tell she’s going to be begging me for a pool party for her birthday all the same.” 

“Glad I was able to pull it off for Sarah,” Joel said, looking determinedly at the grill. 

“Well, you had help,” Tommy said and Joel shot him a glare. He pressed on like nothing had happened. “Sure it’s a lot easier when you’ve got your best friend there pitchin’ in…” 

“Yeah, she was saying you two have been putting this together for a few weeks. If you don’t mind my asking,” Tim said, leaning closer to Joel and angling Ellie away from the heat of the grill. “What’s… what’s goin’ on there? Are you two…” 

“Nope,” Joel cut him off. “Just… we’re just friends.” 

“Cool,” Tim nodded slowly, looking toward the house as you carried plates of burger toppings out to a table covered in a purple tablecloth. “Because damn if she isn’t something.” 

“See, that’s what I’ve been sayin’,” Tommy said, giving Joel a look. Joel just glared back. 

Tim wasn’t looking their way, his eyes glued on you. 

“I still can’t believe she wrote that book,” he said, sounding a little awed. “I still think it’s the best thing I’ve ever read. Must have been a hell of a trip to read that already knowing her.” 

Joel was quiet, just flipping the burgers and taking a drink of beer. 

“What was that like?” Tim asked when Joel had been quiet too long. 

He glanced up at him, the annoyingly perfect fucking image of him holding Ellie while looking like the exact kind of person you’d go for making him hold his beer bottle a little too tight. 

“Wouldn’t know,” Joel said, looking back down at the grill. “Haven’t read it. Don’t read much.” 

“Oh,” Tim said, sounding surprised. “Well, you should. It’s amazing. She’s…” 

“Something,” Joel cut him off, knowing he probably sounded like a dick but not caring enough to stop it. “You said.” 

“Thank you for that,” you said, walking up and wiping crumbs from burger buns on your hands on your swimsuit. “Way easier when I’m not holding an infant but I’ll take her back now. Hi baby girl! Were you so good?” 

“She was a dream,” Tim said, putting Ellie in your arms. “Makin’ me wish I had another one.” 

“It’s the cuteness,” you said, smiling a little before looking down at your niece, letting her wrap her tiny hand around your thumb. You nuzzled into her head and kissed her. “She’s tricky that way.” 

“Might be,” Tim smiled, watching you with the baby. “But still, real hard not to miss it. Wouldn’t mind having another one.” 

“Yeah?” You asked, looking up at him with raised brows, holding Ellie against you. 

“With the right person,” he smiled a little and if Joel had to watch this shit any longer he was sure he was going to break something. 

“Alright, burgers are up!” He yelled toward the pool, ignoring the fact that Tim was standing close enough that he flinched. 

Joel hung back as the kids clambered out of the water until everyone had a burger and you found him, a slight frown on your face. 

“Are you sure you’re OK?” You asked. “Because if this is about earlier at the store…” 

“Don’t they teach you smart college types that doing the same thing over and over don’t get you different results?” He snapped. “Stop asking.” 

“Sorry,” you said, sounding hurt which made Joel’s jaw tighten. “Just try not to miss out on the good shit from today because of… whatever that is.” 

You didn’t wait for him to respond, you just went to find fucking Tim, that hurt look melting off your face when he said something that made you smile in that fucking way you had, where you started slow and then it spread so your whole face shined, the way that Joel loved so much. 

Joel stuck close to Tommy and his new girlfriend, Maria, for the rest of the party, trying to focus on Sarah and how she really was so fucking happy. He tried to ignore you. He tried to ignore the side eye from Tommy and the way you were looking at fucking Tim like he hung the goddamn moon. He tried not to think about the fact that, soon, you and Ellie would be leaving and this semblance of a family that he’d fallen into wouldn’t exist anymore. It would go back to the way it was before, just him and Sarah, and you’d go off and live your own damn life with Tim or someone like him. 

The frustrating thing was, it wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t know what he’d be missing. When it was you and fucking Brad at least, Joel didn’t know any better. He didn’t know how good it could be with you. He didn’t know what he didn’t have. Now it would always be there, hanging over him, covering his memory of this time with this bitter patina that he couldn’t shake. 

Tommy and Maria and fucking Tim stayed after the party wound down and helped clean up, you putting Ellie in her bouncer as you laughed at something he said. Things were back to normal - or close to it, a cake with a purple frosting border only half eaten on the kitchen counter and a few bags of trash by the door waiting to go into the big bin in the garage - in no time at all, something Joel was thankful for because that meant that Tim would probably leave soon. Hopefully. 

“Where did y’all get that cake, anyway?” He asked following you inside as you put a sleeping Ellie in her playpen, Joel just a few steps behind. “It was really good.” 

“H-E-B,” Joel said even though he knew Tim wasn’t asking him. “Nothin’ crazy.” 

“Thanks,” Tim smiled over his shoulder toward Joel before looking back to you. “It was good. Really.” 

“There’s tons of extra,” you said. “Want to take some home? Lord knows I don’t need it and if Sarah eats it all we’ll never see the end of the sugar high.” 

As if to prove a point, Sarah and Lucy, Tim’s daughter, shrieked in glee over something in the back yard. 

“That’d be great,” Tim said. “Sure Lucy’ll enjoy it.” 

“I’ll wrap some up for you,” you smiled, leading the way to the kitchen. 

“Try not to break your jaw clenching it like that, brother,” Tommy clapped him on the shoulder. Joel glared at him. “We’re gonna head out.” 

“You know where to find the door,” Joel said. 

“Know where to find your attitude, too,” he replied. “Try not to screw yourself over here, Joel.” Tommy left before he had a chance to argue, his arm around Maria’s shoulders as he led her to his truck. 

But Joel, for a change, decided to actually take his brother’s advice. He didn’t want to screw himself over. He wasn’t ready to lose this with you, not yet. 

He went to the kitchen to find you standing next to the cake, your body angled toward Tim’s, closer to him than Joel was happy about. 

“So I’ll call you,” he was saying, a crooked smile on his face. 

“Sounds good,” you smiled back, handing him his phone. “It might be a bit, a lot going on right now, but…” 

“I can wait,” he said. “Something about good things coming to those who do…” 

Joel cleared his throat and you almost jumped away from Tim, eyes a little wide, almost like Joel was your dad and you were in trouble. 

“Get what you needed?” Joel asked, brows raised, hands shoved in his pockets. 

“Think so,” Tim said, pocketing his phone and picking up a plate loaded with cake and covered in plastic wrap.”Thanks for having us, it was a great party.” 

“Thanks for comin’,” Joel said, wishing he’d just get through the niceties and get the fuck out of his house. “Know Sarah liked having Lucy here.” 

“Lucy had a great time, too,” he said before turning back to you. “Think we’ll get outta your hair but… talk to you soon?” 

“Yeah,” you smiled. “Looking forward to it.” 

Joel walked Lucy and Tim out to their car, Tim handing his daughter the plate with the cake before turning back to Joel. 

“Look,” he said, all polite pretense gone from his voice. “I feel like I did something in the wrong here and I don’t want to try to steal another man’s girl…” 

“She say we were together?” Joel asked, brows raised. 

“No, but…” 

“Then there you go,” Joel said, a little to harshly. 

“Well then I must have done something else,” Tim said. “If it’s just that you’re protective of your friend, trust me, I meant it when I said she’s somethin’ because she is. I don’t know if it’ll work out but I’m not gonna hurt her.” 

Joel clenched his jaw, trying not to picture someone else touching you the way he did, someone else pulling the little sounds of pleasure from your lips the way he did, loving you the way he did. Just the passing thought made his stomach turn, his blood hot. He wanted to tell Tim to back the fuck off because you belonged with him. But he couldn’t do that. Because it wasn’t true.

“Good to see you,” Joel said instead. “Drive safe.” 

He didn’t wait to see them leave the driveway. Instead, he went to find you. Because maybe you didn’t belong with him, maybe you couldn’t be his in the way he wanted but goddammit if there wasn’t something in him you apparently wanted. You wanted it enough to be his friend, to ask for his help, to fuck him when you didn’t have another option. There was something in him that you thought was worthwhile and there had to be some way to make you remember that.

Joel stalked back inside to find you reorganizing the fridge, Ellie asleep in her playpen in the living room. You glanced his way as you put a plate of leftover burgers back in the fridge. 

“Sarah’s showering,” you said. “But then she wants to open presents and asked if we could watch a movie after, I told her that should be fine but…” 

Joel didn’t give you a chance to finish. Instead, he grabbed you, rougher than he should have but he couldn’t bring himself to care, pulling you away from the fridge with a surprised but quiet yelp as he pressed your back against the wall. He forced his knee between your thighs and pulled your mouth to his as he kissed you, harsh and sharp, devouring you and your needy little sounds. His hand tightened on your chin, holding you still so he could press tongue into your mouth, his other hand grabbing your thigh and hitching it over his leg, opening you to him. 

He shoved the gusset of your swimsuit aside and thrust two fingers inside you, your tight heat wet and welcoming and he didn’t ease his way to that soft, sensitive place deep in you. Instead, he pressed in hard, his palm against your clit before he pulled his mouth from yours, everything wet and messy. 

“Joel,” your eyes were wide, searching his. “What…” 

“You think he can do this to you?” He rutted his cock against your hip. “Think he can make you come like I do?” 

“Sarah’s home,” you whispered, your panting shifting to a moan as he pressed harder on your clit. “Fuck, Joel, you can’t just…” 

“I can hear the shower,” he said harshly. “Answer the question. You think he can make you feel like this?” 

To prove his point, he added another finger, stretching your tightening walls and making you gasp, fingers scrambling against his shoulder as you looked down to the place he was entering you. His own come from the morning was sliding over his skin and he was almost pissed about that, that you’d even look at another man while you were still full of him. 

“I…” you looked back at him, pupils blown, lips shiny with his spit and yours from when he kissed you. “I… I don’t…” 

“Think that fuckin’ guy can fuck you like I can?” He asked. “Think he can make you feel like I do? He can’t and he fuckin’ won’t.” 

You moaned, desperate and uncontrolled and buried your face where Joel’s shoulder met his neck. His cock ached in his swim trunks, leaking and angry and he rutted it against you but he knew he wasn’t going to find relief right now. He didn’t care. 

He felt like a man unhinged, the thought of you with someone else, touching someone else, in bed with someone else, loving someone else pushing him on. He couldn’t give you much, he fucking knew that, but there had to be a reason you’d stayed in his bed the last month and he was going to goddamn well make sure you knew it. 

You came then, your pussy throbbing hard around his fingers as you moaned, voice cracking as you did. He stilled inside you, his hold on you easing so that his palm was more cupping your sex than pressing into it, savoring the feeling of your pleasure on his skin as your come soaked him. Your whole body went limp and he had to hold you up as you panted for breath. He eased his fingers out of you more gently than he’d done anything else since he’d started touching you, carefully tugging your swimsuit back into place over your leaking slit. You whimpered against him, sounding fucked out and exhausted. 

Joel carefully adjusted you, holding your face in his hand, your eyes wide and mouth open as you took shaky, uncertain breaths. 

“What was that?” you asked quietly. 

Joel didn’t know how to answer. 

“You OK?” He asked instead. 

Your eyes raked over him, still wide and shocked, and he lowered your leg back to the ground, giving you a chance to stand on your own again. 

“What do you want from me, Joel?” You whispered. 

“Hey Dad?” Sarah yelled from her room. “Do we have more of that hair stuff?” 

His jaw tightened. 

“Go,” you said, reaching around him to hold onto the counter for balance. 

“We’re talkin’ later,” he said, watching you for a moment before going to help Sarah. 

He did his best to focus on his daughter while she opened her presents from her friends, you smiling and taking notes about who got her what so Sarah could write thank you cards, never once looking at Joel and he had this sinking, raw feeling in his stomach that he might have ruined things, actually ruined things this time. You stayed on the opposite end of the couch from him as the three of you watched the Hunger Games, careful to never even brush against him when you got up to get something. So different from every other time the three of you had sat here, you casually leaning your head on his shoulder or touching his leg to get his attention. 

“Thank you, Dad,” Sarah said as he tucked her into bed - something he was sure she was going to start insisting she was too big for any day now. “That was the best party, everyone had such a good time, it was so fun to see everyone!” 

“I’m glad you had fun, baby girl,” he smiled, smoothing her hair back from her face. “I know you’ve been wanting that for a while.” 

“Yeah, but I know you’re busy,” she said. “It’s OK that it took some time.” 

“Well, I should never be too busy for you,” he said. 

“Probably right,” she said, scrunching her nose. Joel laughed. “I love you, Dad.” 

“Love you, too,” he smiled, reaching to turn out her lamp. 

“Oh, tell Aunt Goldie I love her too?” She said. “I forgot to…” 

His heart clenched. 

“Course baby girl,” he said. “I know she loves you, too.” 

“Duh,” she smiled. “I’m the best.” 

Joel laughed. 

“Don’t let it go to your head.” 

He started back toward the living room to find you but stopped when he saw the light on in his bedroom. He paused at the door, wondering if he should knock even though the two of you hadn’t had that pretense in weeks. 

But he just opened it, moving quietly and closing the door silently behind him, finding you emptying the drawers that had become yours in the months you’d lived in his house. 

“What are you doing?” He asked quietly. 

You looked up, your eyes finding his and narrowing. 

“Goldie…” he moved to touch you but you pulled yourself away before he could. 

“Don’t,” you snapped, packing your things into the suitcase that had been tucked away in the space between Joel’s dresser and the wall for so long he’d almost forgotten it was there. 

“Look, I…” he began but you cut him off. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” You asked, all but throwing some shirts into the suitcase. “What was that!” 

He sighed, not able to look at you for a moment. He wasn’t sure how to answer that. What was he supposed to say? Sorry, the thought of losing you to another man made me lose my mind for a minute? Now that you don’t need as much help with your niece I wanted to remind you of the one other thing you seemed to need me for? 

“I…” he broke off. “I’m sorry.” 

“You’re sorry?” You asked, brows raised. “You’re sorry, great. Awesome. What do you want from me, Joel? Do you want me to never date anyone so you can fuck me when you’re bored? Do you think I’m going to just live here forever so I’ll be at your disposal whenever you need to get off?” 

“That ain’t…” 

“I want to be with someone who loves me!” Your voice was thick, wet. “I want a chance at loving someone and I want them to love me, too, and I can’t do this with you, Joel! I can’t upend my entire life because we’re doing whatever this is, I can’t and I don’t want to.” 

His chest got tight and you just shook your head, going to get more out of the drawer to keep packing. 

“Anna is about to come home,” you said. “I was already going to leave soon. I’ll go tomorrow, spend a few days in my own damn house in my own damn bed and then go to her place.” 

“Goldie,” he whispered, stepping close to you, taking your face in his hand. You at least didn’t pull away from him this time. “Just… stay.” 

Your eyes searched his for a moment and, for half a second, he thought you might say yes. 

“I can’t,” you said softly. “I’m sorry.” 

Joel just hoped you couldn’t see the pain in his eyes as you went back to collecting your things to leave him behind yet again. 

Next Chapter

A/N: I really wish I could explain what came over Joel here but I can't I'm sorry I think he possessed me and this is what happened SORRY

Thank you for being here and for reading. I love you!

Taglist: @kaseyconnour

[thegoldencontracts]

Rec-list!

This is a little compilation of all the twisted wonderland works I personally recommend. Feel free to DM me, or comment anything you think should be added. If you're on this list and I haven't commented on your fic, I'm so sorry! I hope my words of praise here can somewhat make up for it.

Bold Fics/Creators are/make X Reader!

Italicized ones are ones I find underrated, so I highly recommend checking them out!

Tumblr:

Kisses - by @thehollowwriter, a fluffy OC X Azul fic that made me sqeee aghhh it's so cute <3

Azul, Idia, and Riddle With A Flirty Reader - by @etheries1015, tooth-rottingly fluffy tsundere!twst xreader, I love it sm. Ft. Azul, Riddle, Idia

Ashes - by @thehollowwriter, Azul angst and it BROKE my heart, trust me it's painful in the best way.

Untitled Azujami Drabble - by @poisoned-pearls, and though they're popular probably I still think this awesome little fluffy masterpiece is criminally underrated aghhhhh

Ace, Leona, Azul, and Jamil With A Talented Baker - by @atierrorian, super fluffy and I absolutely adored it.

Group Hug - by @whats-it-mean, Ace, Floyd, Jade, and Azul all in a group hug with the reader, it's such a funny premise and yet so well done.

Arms Tonite - by @thesunshineriptide, I honestly believe it is the gold standard for hurt/comfort fics, it's absolutely amazing and honestly one of the best twst fics I've ever read.

Please Don't Leave - by @just-patchy; octatrio poly (no twincest) hurt/comfort, it is so good, don't listen to the a/n saying the writing's bad trust mee.

Azul + Anniversary - @cloudcountry; azul x reader and it's so cute ashdhfdhsfkdlj I'm dyinggg

Coin-Flip - @pomefioredove; this one was so cuteeee azul x reader, it was so fun seeing him get all flusteredd fhjdfkjh

Ao3:

and who'll love me if i'm not the top of my school - by @idia-shroud-is-tmasc/shatteredcoll on ao3; heart-wrenching riddle angst fic in the absolutely best way. If you're a riddle fan, seriously I recommend checking it out.

Of Rosy Snapshots and Deep Dives - by bedtime_at_four_am on ao3; I may be biased but honestly I love all their works, seriously recommend reading it's such a good azurido fic and even if you don't like the pairing you'll find it hilarious.

Rock and a Hard Place - by @thateldribitch/ThatEldriBitch on ao3, it's such a short but sweet fic and honestly I've reread it so many times I've probably ended up skewing the stats HELP-

Fungi Makes A Fun Guy - by Foxyexy on ao3. Azul x Jade and It's sooo cute aghjfdjdk I'm dying I'm deadd-

Business Soulmates - by Mell(MelMystery) on ao3. Platonic octatrio; It's so perfect imo, and one of the few twins meeting azul fics i like.

Indebted - by Midnight_Archives on ao3. So cute, and it's SO underrated, especially compared to other Jamiazu longfics.

Misc. (Follow Recommendations):

@malletsum - hilarious tweets and banger malleus + twst takes imo

@dailytwsttweets - Absolutely fucking hilarious every tweet of theirs is a banger imo, never forgetting "yaoi pills"

@thehollowwriter - banger takes and a bunch of good fics!

@poisoned-pearls - SO MUCH GOOD JAMIAZU STUFF it's actually insanee

@skyephobic - Banger art absolutely EDIBLE imo

@traumxrei-archive - Everyone probably knows them but they write SO MUCH good flustered Azul content it's insaneeee

@luciferzstar - Underrated Azul artist imo, lots of great memes <3

@pomefioredove - Great fic writer imo SHJFDJHKFKJFDS

@jovieinramshackle - Great artist for Azul content, I love their ocs <3

[lemongooose]

what a week of no internet does to a mf

all the s2 teen designs were taken from @oneinchfrog !! check him out!!!! reblog his posts!!! all her art is found under #jay doodles and if youre cool you should reblog them

text in the glark drawing was taken from this fic by crowsdecay on ao3!!! leave a comment, kudos, and bookmark if youre awesome!!

[basu-shokikita]

Skwisblocked, a Klokllege fic

I really like @kaanagen's Klokllege AU about the boys going to college, so I decided to write a little one-shot based on Skwisgaar and Toki's dynamic in it. You can read the full post of her AU here!

Plot: Toki comes up with a bit of an unusual method to deal with his (seemingly) unrequited feelings for Skwisgaar.

As usual, full fic under the read more but you can also read it on ao3. Amazing art by Kaana also 🫶💖

As usual, they had the last shift at the antique shop, which means it was their job to close the thing down, leave the place tidy and make sure the door was locked so no accidental shoplifting happened. Again. Toki wasn’t looking to get fired, so he was extra cautious with the keys now.

By the corner of his eye, however, he noticed a girl standing outside. She had long brown hair, silver hoops and a denim jacket over her loose, airy dress. A customer that came too late?

“Um, sorries, we ams closed.” He told her.

“Oh, no, it’s okay.” She smiled. “I’m just waiting for someone.” Her eyes darted to the inside of the store before looking away.

Ah. 

Toki went back into the store and heard Skwisgaar whistling as he arranged the boxes behind the desk, totally unaware of the exchange that had transpired. Toki opened his mouth and then closed it, choosing to turn off the remaining lights instead.

He liked Skwisgaar. He really liked him. What was there not to like, anyway? Skwisgaar was handsome, cool and really talented at the guitar. Maybe he was sort of grumpy, but it only added to his aloof demeanor. So it wasn’t surprising to him at all that he was so popular with girls.

That didn’t mean he was happy about it. 

__

About five minutes later, they were coming out of the back of the store. As Skwisgaar dunked the plastic wrap on the trashcan, Toki dared to ask. “Anythings funs for tonights?”

Skwisgaar closed the trashcan and rubbed his hands together. “Sleeps.” He walked down the alleyway, with Toki following quickly. “What abouts you?” A sly smirk. “Hangs with the college bands nerds?”

Toki wanted to act offended, but he couldn’t hold back a smile. “Very funnies.”

“Ja, dats my second names.”

“Reallies?”

“...Noes.”

Toki hesitated for a moment. “Does you wants to eats-”

“Hi!” They had barely crossed to the pavement when the girl came running to them. Before any of them had time to react, she continued. “I came by the store earlier.” She bit down her bottom lip, glancing at Skwisgaar.

“Oh.” Skwisgaar grinned. “Finds somethingks whats you likes?”

She giggled and, if there was any doubt remaining in Toki’s mind about her intentions, it was completely gone now. “You free tonight?”

“Wells-”

“W-We ams abouts to goes eats a borgers!” Toki impulsively got in between them. “We ams really hungries after works.” He rubbed his belly dramatically to emphasize the statement. “Buts you cans come pals if you wants?”

The girl’s gaze alternated between the two of them with surprise. “Sure?” She said, kind of confused. 

Skwisgaar raised an eyebrow at Toki but said nothing. He wasn’t lying, he really did want to ask Skwisgaar to grab dinner together. And just because he didn’t manage to get the words out before she arrived, didn’t mean he had to give up.

Right?

__

“Byes!” Toki bid his classmates farewell, before making his way for his next class. Although, checking his mail, he realized the professor had canceled the class that morning. Awesome, that meant he had time for a quick nap under the sun. Maybe pet some of the kitty cats in the grass. He was so grateful that this college allowed cats to lounge in the park, it was the perfect distraction on stressful days.

Merry on his way he was, when he spotted his other favorite distraction sitting at a nearby table. “Oh!” He raised his hand enthusiastically. “Skwisgaa-” But the word dropped out of his mouth when he realized Skwisgaar wasn’t alone.

Toki hid behind a bush as he spied on them. The girl sitting in front of Skwisgaar had blonde hair picked up in a high ponytail and rosy cheeks. She was wearing a white cardigan with a plain blue top underneath. Her auburn eyes seemed sweet and the way she stared at Skwisgaar was anything but platonic. 

Toki turned around and breathed in deeply, holding tightly onto his books. When he glanced at his books, an idea scoured his mind. 

__

“Skwisgaar! Skwisgaar!” Toki ran towards, shouting his friend’s name.

“Toki?” Skwisgaar called his name in confusion, only to be flabbergasted when Toki dropped his books dramatically on the table. “Whats?!”

“You gotsa helps me!” Toki cried out, pointing at his books. “This financements class! It ams killings me!”

Skwisgaar clenched his jaw. “Tokes, ams in the middols of somet’inks right nows.” He glanced at his companion. “You knows?”

As if he hadn’t noticed her, Toki turned towards the girl. “Oh, Gods! Cans you helps me? I has a tests comings up and-”

“Toki!”

“Oh, it’s no big deal!” She smiled gently and Toki almost felt bad for crashing their date. “Are you guys friends?”

“Ja!”

“Noes!”

She laughed heartily, extending her hand to Toki. “I’m Jennifer, Skwisgaar’s classmate.”

Toki extended his hand back. “Ams Toki!”

“Well, Toki,” Jennifer said, inspecting his books. “I think I know a thing or two about finances.”

He smiled, amazed that his plan had worked. “Reallies?”

Skwisgaar, on the other hand, was completely baffled. And Toki? Toki felt ecstatic over his newfound power.

–

From then on it just kept happening.

Like when Toki was heading to the club and he found Skwisgaar and a short girl with curly red hair at the fountain. The sun was setting which made the location all the more attractive, with the golden reflection of the water bouncing back on their faces. They were dangerously close, with Skwisgaar holding her waist, whispering sweet nothings into her so Toki had to think fast. 

“No ways!” He pointed at the couple. “Skwisgaar, you dumpeds Jennifers?”

Whatever romantic mood there was, it completely dissipated as Skwisgaar turned towards him like he had seen a ghost. “Heugh?”

“Jennifer?” She took a step back. “Who’s Jennifer?”

“Jennifers!” Toki answered quickly. “The sweet girls Skwisgaars was goings out with de other days! Why you does that, Skwisgaars? She ams so nices!”

The red-head turned towards Skwisgaar and he put up his hands instantaneously. “Waits-”

“Asshole!” She slapped Skwisgaar right across the face. 

“Augh!” Skwisgaar rubbed the swollen cheek. 

“Wowee!” Toki was surprised by the sight but she glared at him with anger. “Um,” He tried to look for candy in his pocket, as she approached him. “Does you wants-”

She smacked him in the face. “You too!” She said and strode away.

“Yous cheatingks on yous boyfriends, too!” Skwisgaar yelled at her, still massaging his cheek. “Whats?!” He barked at Toki.

__

Or when he interrupted Skwisgaar’s meet-cute at the library by constantly asking the girl about bugs. 

Or when he surprised Skwisgaar and the girl he was evidently planning to sleep with by waiting at his dorm because it was ‘guitar night’ and played songs for her under Skwisgaar’s annoyed stare.

Or when he kept sending drinks ‘on the house’ for the girl Skwisgaar had come with, at the bar he also worked part-time at. He got fired soon after, though.

Or when he-

“Dats it! Ams done!” Skwisgaar screeched, pants entirely soaked because Toki dropped soda on him when he was asking Skwisgaar’s date about her hand-made skirt. She left while laughing at Skwisgaar, obviously. “What does you wants?!”

Toki feigned innocence. “What you means?”

“You ams been ruins kings my dates for weeks! Weeks, Toke! Can’ts remembers the last times I gets laids!”

Pride swelling in his chest, Toki tried not to smile. “I just wants to pals, Skwisgaar! And dese ladies ams so nice soez I can’ts helps it.” He looked down in pretense shame.

Skwisgaar squinted at him for far too long, and Toki feared he had seen his through motives. “...You wants a goils?” He asked.

This could be the moment. This could be it, when he finally admitted to Skwisgaar how he felt. In the american movies Toki had seen, this is when the confession would happen. And Skwisgaar would like him back, and they would be happy forever after.

“Uh, ja! I wants a goil…friends, haha…” He scratched the side of his face, laughing awkwardly. Reality wasn’t so perfect like those movies.

“Wells, den just says dats.” Skwisgaar rolled his eyes. “I cans sets you up with somes goils. Just stops beingks dildos.”

“Haha, okays!” Toki agreed, slinging an arm around Skwisgaar’s. “Whats abouts a Marios Karts before works?”

Skwisgaar’s face was still severe, brows furrowed when he looked at Toki. However, his expression swifty softened. “Fines.”

“Hoorays!” Toki cheered, pulling his vintage console from his messenger bag. “Ams gonnas destroy yous!”

“Eugh, keeps dreamingks, littol dildo.” Skwisgaar said, though he was smirking. “Mademes Peaches and me ams a pretties good teams.”

“Yoshis and Tokes ams betters!” Toki countered, laughing too.

As they walked away, he wondered if he’d ever have the bravery to tell Skwisgaar the truth. If he’d ever had the courage to ruin what they had for a meek gamble. 

Perhaps one day, but definitely not this one.

[confidentconfusion]

A million thanks to the awesome @redreart for this piece! The commission came out absolutely perfect I am in awe!

This is inspired by a beautiful scene from the best FC3 fanfic (honestly, best fic out there no matter the fandom) I have ever read.

Livin' La Vida Loca by viridisvesania on ao3. I am serious, it is absolutely beautiful. Do yourself a favor and check it out! I cried many tears of angst and joy <3

[joyfuladorable]

Fuck it, here's all my favorite Mikey-centric fanfics!!

There's A LOT + personal blurbs, so they're going under the cut (Mostly AO3, but there are some FFN links, too. Also, besides like the first two, there's no favoritism in the order)

2k3:

Pretend That I Never Left by redstringraven(sirimiri) - Complete/Plans for an Epilogue & Sequel!!

Fic that changed my BRAIN?! If my fanart [1 | 2 | 3] for it is any indicator, lol. I'll say for the umpteenth time that if you're looking for an Excellent Mikey fic with Perfect Characterization, this is IT (and you don't need to know ANYTHING about HZD trust me TRUST ME this fic deserves WAY more love) His swift ride-or-die friendship with Aloy will melt your damn heart!

Dragon of the Sun by ForestWhisper3 - Ongoing

My Other TOP favorite Mikey fic!! Again, fanart [1 | 2 | 3] indicator! Slow Burn(ish) Canon Divergence of Mikey unlocking his Mystic Powers as his family looks on in dismay as they struggle to protect him. The Good Shit!!!

Of Darkness And Light by Bayluff - Complete

OOOOOOO THIS ONE! Very good (also drew fanart for it)! Evil creature literally trying to consume Mikey's lifeforce from within as his family scrambles to help

A Chat With The Titan by secreterces5 - Complete

Mikey has a fun one-on-one talk with the supposedly reformed Bishop in Fast Forward. Mikey vaguely threatening Bishop, HEEHEE

A Simple Act Of Kindness by UlisaBarbic - Complete

That feel when you put your worth in what you can DO and the wish to be Acknowledged and the ONE thing you thought you did right was taken away OOGH AGH OOOOGH

Difficulty Breathing by RealityBreakGirl - Complete

Mikey did not come out of Grudge Match unscathed *smile* Truly one of my favorite 03 Mikey prompts to read about (honestly just check the entirety of the Grudge Match tag on AO3 for a fun time)

"A delivery boy! Uh, or turtle." by LollyHolly99 - Complete

Fic that has the distinction of being the first one I ever did fanart for! Gender Feels for Mikey cuz they're just like me FR!!

What Darkness Most Fears by UlisaBarbic - Complete

OOOGH AGH I LOVE THIS ONE!! Mikey has to save his bros from the clutches of an evil spirit while surviving horrifying monsters and battling a wicked fever!

Michelangelo by ForestWhisper3 - Complete

Mikey through the eyes of his family and how much they respect him and know him UwU

Mikey's Jigsaw by SailorSaysAhoy - Complete

Another awesome gender Mikey fic HOOHAA

Train-Wreck of Thought by halogalopaghost - Complete

When you're so talented you learn how to astral project but you start using it for pranks instead of understanding the drawbacks of said power and that bites you majorly in the ass big time (very good my stomach turned while reading this /pos)

A Brother's Bond by SuperKat - Complete

Mikey gets Real Sick and the fam can't help but remember last time one of them got so ill. OH MAN heartstrings WILL be pulled in this one!!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year by moogsthewriter - Complete

Why can't Mikey ever catch a break during Christmas! A short fic that I enjoy Immensely for Mikey being stubbornly heroic and his family desperately trying to play catch up to help him

Questioning Choices by Mystic Medjai - Complete

Fun day at the beach goes catastrophically bad and the fam has to make difficult decisions to keep Mikey alive. THIS THIS THIS!! If I could pour this into my veins for the perfectly paced plot and characterization...

When It Counts by Kallasilya - Complete

Short fic of Mikey stubbornly and bitterly proving his brothers wrong (+ Don being a good brother)

Favourite Disease by devirnis - Complete

Mikey is forced to save his brothers as his body gradually falls apart from the inside. SO GOOD UGH Mikey being forced to deal with situations on his own always show how far he can Shine!

Nowhere Boy by taizi - Complete

OOOH I dunno how I can summarize this without giving the plot away but just know Mikey pulls through by thinking of his family

To Fit the Crime by T33la - Complete

AHHH AHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHHHHH!! Mikey is accused of Murder and receives his sentence before his brothers can even jump to his defense! Oh the twists and turns of this murder mystery!!

you want to know why i sit and sigh (the night is so young it hurts) by love_killed_the_superstar - Complete

Angel and Mikey bonding over comics and unsupportive brothers So Cute)

imma be real with you (cause i started being real with me) by love_killed_the_superstar - Complete

Leo and Usagi being supportive of Mikey as he struggles to train for the upcoming Battle Nexus fight (and also maybe they flirt with each other a teensy bit)

just a hop, skip, and a jump away by baba_buoy - Complete

Mikey sick fic. Heart melting amounts of comfort UwU

Weak Link by yellowhollyhock - Complete

Sweet fic of Mikey feeling insecure about his place on the team, and Leo going through great lengths to prove him wrong like a good older brother :')

'Cause you are the sun, he is your moon/And though he can't speak, he will thank you soon by naivesilver - Complete

Post-Grudge Match Mikey waking up in the middle of the night bitter and sore and gods damn why's Raph awake, too?

Hunted by DysfunctionalRequest - Complete

Mikey wandering the woods alone in the middle of the night and having a VERY unfortunate encounter with hunters

Flipbook by T33la - Complete

Heartfelt moment between Mikey and Don concerning SAINW that makes me want to smash a cinder block against my head /pos

Dramaturgy by Completely_Unaware - Ongoing

Mind the tags! Mikey deals with a Battle Nexus loss in an unhealthy way (UmU)

The Red Means I Love You (Work) by AnonymousCritter - Ongoing

MIND THE TAGS! AU of Fast Forward. Mikey isn't saved from the traffickers in time and things spiral from there

The So-Called "Champion of the Battle Nexus" by 0ozero0 - Ongoing

Grudge Match canon divergence where Mikey gets hurt a little more seriously than in canon (but still wins)

2012:

Devil took your hand by moogsthewriter & taizi - Complete

Mikey mind controlled by the Shredder moment!! *laughs through my pain and tears and screaming*

walk with open hands by taizi - Complete

Mikey gets his hands on one of Renet's watches and things go topsy turvy from there (and it HURTS ME)

(un)reality by SpectrumWriting - Complete

Mind the Tags! Dimension X AU where Mikey is captured by the Kraang and is put through the wringer in more ways than one (OWIE)

evermore (Dimension X AU) series by coffeejellyenthusiast - Complete?

Mind the Tags! Mikey was in Dimension X for over a year and he's NOT OKAY

Gravitational Collapse series by Writing_In_Denial - Ongoing

MIND THE TAGS!! An Incredible it gets worse before it gets better series of Mikey being unintentionally abandoned by his brothers post-series and dealing with some Major Isolation and OOOGH IT HURTS ME SO MUCH BUT I WILL KEEP READING FOR THE EVENTUAL COMFORT

traveling so far to get there by taizi - Complete

Mikey and Raph getting stuck in an empty, post-apocalyptic world and struggling to survive (their BOND IN THIS IS SO SWEET WEH)

Rise:

nice, nice by postergirlsprank - Complete

Short fic of Casey Sr and Mikey bonding after an unfortunate encounter while on a snack run (Hey if you want more context for how this author writes Casey, go read his fic Imperfect Animals too heehoo)

either way, we're not alone by sinaesthesis - Complete

Mikey throughout the years of the Kraang Apocalypse (Lots of Loss and Hurt and Badassery)

going under by redhairedmuses - Complete

Mikey almost drowns during a fight with a mutant

Hyperactive Hypothermia by VeryAngryGremlin - Complete

After Mikey's winter wear accidentally goes in flames and a villain-enduced avalanche, Donnie struggles to keep his baby brother warm

that’s where the blood’s supposed to be! by Dragon_Scales_and_Fairy_Tales - Complete

With Raph and Leo constantly bickering, Mikey ignores a very serious injury after a fight with Meat Sweats

Clever Little Dino! by VeryAngryGremlin - Complete

Mikey trying to keep a robot pet a secret and suffering the consequences

Vs The World by DysfunctionalRequest - Complete

The aftermath of the Kraang strains the family's bonds, and Mikey feels hopelessly alone (and definitely isn't dealing with his trauma properly)

Empathy Amplified by Filsamek - Complete

When you accidentally use your powers to connect with your brothers' emotions then purposefully use them to ease their pain

Sunshine in the Rain by Carnati0n_bl00m - Complete

Probably the first fic I read after watching the Rise movie cuz I wanted to find something Mikey-centric involving Bishop and BOY does it deliver with the additional bonus of Leatherhead!! (also hey look fanart)

A Mystic Connection by rytheoneandonly - Complete

Mikey's mystic powers manifesting and evolving in ways he could never predict (aka Long Fic of Mikey stumbling to figure out why he wakes up exhausted and hurt every night)

The whole world in your corner series by GibbousLunation - Complete

Two fics of Mikey being Mikey and his bros being protective

Better Check Twice by Marz_Zero - Ongoing

Bishop captures a turtle with a bear trap (OW) and is an absolute bastard about it

Come Home Soon by Sherlock_Brolmes - Ongoing

With his brothers unavailable, Mikey (with the help of a former enemy) uncovers a massive conspiracy involving New York and the Hidden City. I LOVE THIS I LOVE SOLO DUO TEAM-UPS!!!! *PUNCHES THE AIR 13 TIMES*

Mikey's Artistic Guide to Dealing with Trauma and Fame by Origami_Nami - Ongoing

Mikey using graffiti as an outlet and accidentally becoming famous

Rook by unorthodoxx - Ongoing

Another Bishop fic of him outwitting the turtles to abduct one of them (Mikey)

Multi/Other:

Mystic Malfunction by VanillaVengeance - Ongoing

Rise Mikey accidentally portals himself to the 2012 Universe and struggles to survive and avoid this other version of his family (with mixed success). The progression of familial bonds in this is just *Chef's Kiss*

The Gauntlet by T33la - Complete

A mix of IDW & 03, a wonderful showcase of how Donnie and Mikey support each other (also, a cool invention and a big rocket and a terrifying near-death experience are involved)

I Get Knocked Down (But I Get Up Again) by Justalittleobsessed - Ongoing

MIND THE TAGS!!! Set in its own original iteration, Mikey has been immortal for as long as he can remember, and he's used to his occasional deaths (and revivals). But then his brothers find out... (AGH AGH THIS ALSO HURTS MEEEEE BUT OOGH the comfort and hope of the later chapters is so Worth It)

Whumptober 2023 series by Justalittleobsessed - Ongoing?

Collection of Mikey-centric one-shots from different iterations and feeling the HURT (Personal favorites are If Only the World Could Stop Spinning..., Just a Flesh Wound, and Not the Best of Days)

To Know Peace (You Gotta Let Go) by Deadpool1763492 - Ongoing (technically)

The Last Ronin Spoilers!! Mikey survives and whisks the new turtle tots away to live on a farm instead of being raised as soldiers. (AUUUUUU THE FEELS!! THE TOTS! MIKEYYYY!!!)

How to accidentally kidnap yourself several times over by Camildeni - Ongoing

Rise Mikey gets captured and accidentally summons other iterations (03, 12, and Bay) of himself trying to get out! They do NOT have a good time!! (but at least they have each other)

the dad diaries by angelmichelangelo - Ongoing

More TLR Mikey being a Dad (and dealing with his trauma sorta kinda)

The neighboring cell by SaltyYagi - Ongoing

2012 Mikey and Rise Leo trying to escape Dimension X together (and bonding)

Bonus Non-Mikey-centric:

Weathered Strings, Tethered Wings by Deadpool1763492 - Ongoing

(2003) SAINW AU!!! With the possibility of Don being alive dangled in front of them, the remaining turtles begrudgingly reunite to save him. Drew a cover for this with more art to come! LOVING the slow burn of reconciliation between these bitter old turtles UwU (Bitter Old Mikey my poor Bestie)

Mutant Nightmare by HamsterMasterSamster - Complete

(2003) The immediate aftermath of Worlds Collide

Hanging By A Turtle by CamsthiSky - Complete

(Rise) Literally the turtles struggling to get out of a deep pit they're hanging over

Shell Game by T33la - Complete

(2003) OKAY OKAY SO!!! OOGH Don encounters something Impossible while prepping a tracking device (for himself) and it snowballs into another Renet-involved time adventure (AND UMMM lots of existential contemplation and a surprise historical guest who's Very Cool)

Turtle Power by halogalopaghost - Complete

(2003) Immediate aftermath of the star ship reactor explosion in Exodus

Disposable by orphan_account (kudos to you wherever you are, author) - Complete

(2003) Bishop captures Don and Mikey and gives them a terrible choice

Dissection by AmevelloBlue - Complete

(2003) So much Comfort after the trauma of Worlds Collide (ie Don's interrogation and Mikey almost getting sliced open)

Find the Road by SillySocks - Complete

(2003) Perfect encapsulation of the family as they cope with Leo's absence while he trains with the Ancient One

Handle with Care by HamsterMasterSamster - Complete

(2003) April is seriously injured during a mission and has to deal with the turtles distancing themselves from her as she recovers

mind-body problem by hiraethseok - Complete

(2003) April and the Turtles Being Siblings the Fic

Healing in Tandem by Eggstasy - Complete

(2003) Canon divergence of Worlds Collide where Splinter is just a little too late to intervene before Bishop starts sawing into Mikey's shell

Let's Take Ibuprofen Together by GreenGoddessSmoothie - Ongoing

(2003) The turtles swap body and have learn to cope with each other's chronic pain

Not the Face I Know by GreenGoddessSmoothie - Ongoing

(2003) Mikey accidentally makes a wish that changes his family's lives forever (THEY'RE HUMAN THEY BECOME HUMAN AND THE PLOT IS COOL AND ALSO QUEER THEMES MY BELOVED)

The Great Skittle Heist of 2105 by AmevelloBlue - Ongoing

(2003) AU of Fast Forward where the Dark Turtles are babies instead and are very swiftly adopted by the Fam

The Labyrinth by HALFnHALF1 - Ongoing

(Mix of IDW/03) The Turtles wake up separated in a labyrinth with only a mysterious voice in their heads to guide them (and manipulate them)

“You didn’t tell me your extended family was in town!” by BoStaffsAreCool - Ongoing

Post-Turtles Forever. The 03 fam is Just beginning to wind down after the events of the movie and look who's knocking at April's door (the 87 turtles)

[atomicjellyb3an]

Driving to my house in the middle of the night

I can’t believe it’s been almost an entire YEAR, since i posted the first chapter to this fic (and i can’t believe it’s taken me this long to make a proper collage for the thing).

But the love it’s gotten (and is still getting) has been amazing! I’m so overwhelmed by it since it was my first Wenclair fic and probably one of my favourites i’ve written

So, because it’s also the spooky season (ignore my shameless self promo) give it a reread or even read it for the first time! ALSO check out the awesome art done by @barblaz-arts

and yeah, thank you again for all the love the fic has gotten!