#avoiding linkedin. for my mental health

[blossoms-phan]

so like am i the only 22 year old in the goddamn world that apparently doesn’t have it all figured out a month after graduating

[reasonsforhope]

Hi there! As someone who uses Twitter a lot, I get exposed to a lot of people making jokes about humanity's extinction. I understand that kind of stuff is just them trying to find levity during such dark times, but it always sends me into an anxiety spiral. I've gotten into full blown panic attacks over seeing that kind of stuff. Do you have any advice on how I should manage this?

My biggest advice may not be super helpful because my biggest advice is to get off Twitter lol

I'm barely on any social media - besides Tumblr, I literally only have a Facebook and LinkedIn I use maaaaybe five minutes a day for work. Quitting other social media has been FANTASTIC for my mental health, 10/10 would recommend

I'm given to understand most people have a harder time quitting social media than I do, though, so idk how helpful this advice is. You could also try to unfollow and/or block people who you see make these jokes - there's a good chance the bulk of it comes from a few repeat offenders, I think

Otherwise...yeah, the way to manage anxiety like this really is, honestly, to avoid the stuff that gives you panic attacks.

At least for a while or until the neural pathways in your brain have calmed down about this particular issue somewhat. That should happen naturally if you can go without fuel getting poured on these neural fires, so to speak, for a while

Writing out specific, evidence-based affirmations about "No we are not all doomed" and "There are so many things we can fix" on post-its and sticking them around your desk, etc. could also probably help

Best of luck

[art-of-manliness]

Podcast #941: How to Avoid Death by Comfort

Nietzsche’s maxim, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” isn’t just a sound philosophical principle. It’s also a certifiable physiological phenomenon; toxins and stressors that could be deadly in large doses, actually improve health and resilience in smaller, intermittent ones. The ironic thing, my guest points out, is that it’s the fact that we’re not getting enough of this sublethal stress these days that’s really doing us in. Paul Taylor is a former British Royal Navy Aircrew Officer, an exercise physiologist, nutritionist, and neuroscientist, and the author of Death by Comfort: How Modern Life is Killing Us and What We Can Do About It. Today on the show, Paul discusses the science of hormesis, how small doses of intermittent stress can make us more resistant to chronic stress, and why you need to embrace what Paul calls “discomfort harvesting.” We talk about some now-familiar topics like fasting and cold and heat exposure with fresh inspiration as to how important they are to practice and how to do them effectively. We discuss how hot a sauna needs to be to get the benefits of heat exposure, Paul’s suggestion for how to make an ice bath on the cheap, what may be the single best type of food to eat to improve your gut’s microbiome, a form of fasting that’s got anti-cancer benefits but is so accessible it won’t even feel like fasting, what supplement to take to mitigate the effects of a bad night’s sleep, and much more. We end our conversation with how to use what Paul calls a “ritual board” to stick with your healthy habits and resist the “soft underbelly” of modern life. Resources Related to the Podcast * AoM Podcast #708: Overcome the Comfort Crisis * AoM article/video on the benefits of cold showers * AoM Podcast #801: The Cold Water Swim Cure * AoM Podcast #603: The Physical Keys to Human Resilience * AoM Article: How Saunas Can Help Save Your Body, Mind, and Spirit * AoM Article: How to Sauna — All the FAQs * AoM Podcast #585: Inflammation, Saunas, and the New Science of Depression * AoM Podcast #862: Heal the Body With Extended Fasting * AoM Podcast #328: The Pros and Cons of Intermittent Fasting * AoM Podcast #581: The Tiny Habits That Change Everything * AoM Podcast #425: Action Over Feelings * The NOVA Food Classification System * Stanford study on the effect of fiber and fermented food on the microbiome * Research on creatine as a neurotransmitter and creatine’s effect on brain health (including impact when sleep deprived) Connect With Paul Taylor * Paul‘s website * Paul on IG * Paul on LinkedIn * Paul‘s podcast * Paul‘s mental fitness course for coaches and health professionals Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!) Listen to the episode on a separate page. Download this episode. Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice. Transcript Coming Soon The post Podcast #941: How to Avoid Death by Comfort appeared first on The Art of Manliness. http://dlvr.it/SySc4x

[thisstableground]

well i don't often post the mental health stuff here any more because, to be honest, there has not been much to post for a time - is this what they call STABILITY and BEING HAPPY IN YOUR SITUATION what a novelty - but life does like to throw little things around by which i mean linkedin does like to suddenly, randomly suggest a connection with not The person who caused all the damage but the secondary person to it who definitely exacerbated it all. despite me not being in contact with anyone from that time, and having never had any record of that era of my life on my linkedin, or having any other social media that it could pull from, or of ever having lived in that place, and using a different email address and phone number than i used back then with nobody at all related to it in my contacts, and we aren't in the same industry at all, and i have a different first name now - but it's fine. unfortunately i have an incredibly unique last name, that's probably the problem. maybe she remembers too. maybe she tried to find me. i'm not even really mad at her any more.

anyway, it isn't As big a deal as it would have been had this happened a few years ago. the therapy holds. i played some pokemon emerald about it and spent about four hours standing at a seafront bus stop in the pouring rain last night telling my bff the whole situation in a tone like it was a practice for a stand-up set and genuinely it was all very funny, in a "so here's a horrific story" way. and i'm not looking at her profile, and i'm definitely not using that as the point of entrance into the vortex of looking for his social media. i am NOT

unleeeess

anyway. i woke up this morning very awake. my brain was very spiky in the sense of physical-feeling spikes before i saw my friend yesterday, it is spiky today in the sense of spikes in a waveform like wow here's a burst of static and a memory, but it is better than the other kind and i think perhaps even healthy. it is healthy to think about things which are stressful, for a while, and then to do something else when it stops being productive. i woke up very happy to see my little studio apartment that i love, very happy to eat cereal and yawn and make tea. i will walk along the seafront later. i am thinking about my stories and my characters the same way that i thought about them when i first started working through all of this.

there isn't a point to this. nothing can be done about it. i don't even know if it's triggering because it isn't the kind of being triggered i used to get, i'm not panicking, it's all funny in a way. the point is i am thinking about it and trying not to think too much about it but also trying not to avoid thinking about it. the point is don't look at them. the point is don't look for them. the point is don't look for him

[anvoo]

Pain. Cost of change and progress. Cost of inaction.

I recently read an article on LinkedIn, and for certain reasons, it really spoke to me at that moment.

Guess it shouldn't come as a surprise, since most of the points hit really close to home. I was hurting.

No progress without pain. I read something similar to this sometime early in December, and I think a part of me internalized it. I wanted to find a reason, a meaning as to why I was hurting back then. The breakup, the sudden loss of my only source of validation, reassurance, and positive feelings in the form of my partner, the realization of my own character and person; all of that hurt me immensely. I needed a "why" to bear it, I wanted an answer to soothe me in that moment. It was, progress. It was a change, a marking point for me. I did learn and grow from it, albeit the change and decision itself didn't come from me, but I accepted it nonetheless. No regrets, and honestly thankful.

But as the pain subsides, so did my motivation and willingness to change and progress. I sought meaning in the suffering and got complacent as it goes away.

Now, a while after that, I find myself not too far off from my original position, having drifted down the current just a little bit. And this is where it hits me. I remember all the things I said and wanted for myself. I remember being in love with my potential, daydreaming about the days-not-too-far-off. But that's where it ends. I'm still stuck in that cycle of frustration, failure, defeat, self-pity, and emotional regulation,... By doing nothing, I am setting myself up for future frustrations and regret; I'm not honoring my own potential; I'm betraying the belief I have in myself, and the belief my loved ones have in me.

I want to change. I want to prove that I want to change. I want to be the best I can be.

I have a bad habit of taking in too much information, up to the point of me not really being sure what's what. Read, read, read... Consume, consume, consume,...

"Be kind to yourself"; "Take as much time as you need"; "Mental health comes first";...

I'm not saying these are bad advices, but I tend to twist words around, rationalize and find loopholes in order to procrastinate, avoid pain, and stay in my comfort zone. Honestly, what would be good for me right now is probably some good ol' fashioned Asian-Tiger-Parenting XD

But jokes aside, I don't want to stay in one place anymore.

Too many people fall in love with potential but fail to honor the process.

I fell madly in love with my potential. Infatuated, obsessed, love-struck,... all of that. But that's not enough for me. I want it to be a reality. Here's to no more daydreaming, and baseless hopes.

I don't enjoy pain. I never did. Ever since I was a kid, I was always afraid of it. I would much rather wait till my tooth fall off by itself, instead of actually pulling it off. I would keep a band-aid on for weeks, I would avoid all things that could cause me pain or discomfort. Some make sense, but some robbed me of potentially fun and rewarding experiences, like going up a mountain, or meeting interesting people, or becoming incredibly jacked.

It's understandable, and human nature almost, to avoid pain and dislike being uncomfortable, but nowadays, or at least in my case, through pains and through discomforts is how I'll be able to move forward, and progress. It's like resistance training, and that includes also actual resistance training xD

I welcome pain. I want it. I expect it. It hurts, and it's uncomfortable, but it's a sign that I am trying to do better, and that brings more pleasure and happiness than anything I could possibly imagine.

A final note for myself:

Trust the process.

While you may feel like you are not moving as fast as you would like, you must understand that what is being forged in you will empower you to leave a legacy that speaks beyond your lifetime. Stop worrying about how fast your life is moving and instead focus on how fruitful your life is becoming. Progress is not about speed but significance.

[travelindia2233]

Marketing Private Practice Therapy: Strategies for Success

In any industry, competition can play a relevant role in business, and specifically when providing mental health services, marketing your private practice is crucial. In this blog I am going to outline a few main concepts that can be used to increase your presence, build your brand awareness and engage with potential buyers.

Define Your Niche and Unique Value

So, one must find their proper specialization to avoid competition with thousands of different types of therapy. Do you focus on traumatic stress management, marital or teenage counseling? Your unique selling proposition (USP), helps you target the right audience in a particular market, and market that appeals to them. Be sure to describe what makes your practice unique, whether it’s your philosophy, your designation, or your history.

Leverage SEO to Increase Online Visibility

SEO is an incredible tool that may easily enhance your web presence greatly. In other words, it allows you to receive more people who entered the web searching for therapy services. First, customers should diligently research what keywords they are using in their search for service providers. For example, the use of keywords such as ‘therapist in [your locality] or anxiety counseling near me or in my area has been found to be very useful.

For more tips on SEO targeting therapists, other articles such as the SEO for Therapists can be very useful to gain more information about promoting your practice online.

Utilize Content Marketing

Although content creation is instrumental in SEO it also provides you with an opportunity to provide content that will be of value in your field. Writing blog posts that point to several questions about the regular situation that its clients have to face like fear, stress and so on, is also a good idea. This approach not only informs the potential clients, but also means to win their confidence and favour.

Besides the text, including additional multimedia components such as video or an audio podcast will better appeal to your viewer. For instance, short videos about mindfulness exercises can help you become less serious and more accessible.

Engage on Social Media

Here we discover that the main business of social networks is the ability to communicate with potential customers. Platforms should be relevant to the recipients; for instance, maybe Instagram works best with an audience of younger clients, in contrast to LinkedIn for business relations. Discuss information, advice, and examples that seem to be associated with your therapeutic approach and philosophy.

Don’t go overboard—stick to your personality and manner as a therapist when using social media sites. This approach makes the users trust the post and also makes them participate in posting.

List Your Practice on Online Directories

When you get listed on therapy directories, your visibility is going to go up a notch. There are some websites like Psychology Today and GoodTherapy where you can create individual pages and list all your offers and specializations. Such listings can be on the top of search results, and potential clients are likely to visit your site.

Make sure your profiles are fully filled in and contain some information about your practice type, focus, and contact information. This not only makes one easily noticeable but also allows any potential client to get to know you better.

Monitor Your Progress and Adapt

Last but not least, keep track of the effectiveness of your marketing campaigns often. Some of the site traffic and engagement indicators include, use google analytics to analyze the site traffic. It will help you know what you are doing right and what needs to be changed in terms of strategies.

Try to be flexible toward the feedback and outcomes of your strategies. In this day and age, operations increase their digital experience; understanding new trends and techniques will help your practice remain relevant.

Therefore, marketing of a private practice therapy is best done through SEO, content creation, social media and right directory listing. When these strategies are used strategically, you increase your visibility and reach your intended audience that connects with your business.

For further information on other SEO practices to use for therapists, please visit SEO Keywords for Therapists. These are strategies that will help you expand your practice and at the same time actually help those who are seeking it.

[greatdadcom]

Building Resilience Through Happiness with Peter Teuscher | GreatDad.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA04xdrYVps Join me in this insightful episode on resilience and happiness with Peter Teuscher, a coach and author who specializes in happiness. We discuss the relationship between happiness and resilience, the concept of defining happiness for oneself, and strategies to reframe beliefs and overcome the victim mentality. Peter also shares practical tips on mindfulness, creating positive habits, and finding joy in everyday moments. Perfect for dads looking to model resilience and happiness for their children. Visit these links and embark on the path to becoming the best parent you can be: - GreatDad.com/coaching - GreatDad.com/pq - Gratitude course: bit.ly/3NMLDNC 50% off for podcast listeners with code PODCAST50 🔔 Discover expert parenting advice and insights for every stage of fatherhood — subscribe now for the inspirational podcasts! https://www.youtube.com/@Greatdad/?sub_confirmation=1 ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ Audio Podcast is currently on your favorite platforms: 👉ApplePodcast:https://ift.tt/h134Ve8 ✅ Important Links to Follow 📰 Get the latest insights on parenting and pregnancy — visit for valuable resources! https://ift.tt/zTBqwZl 💬 Enhance your parenting skills with expert courses and resources—visit http://mom360.com/ ✅ Stay Connected With Me. 👉 Facebook: https://ift.tt/135ENRs 👉 Instagram: https://ift.tt/tWGyE9I 👉 Twitter (X): https://ift.tt/wbR50dJ 👉 Linkedin: https://ift.tt/6rVvmgH 👉 Pinterest: https://ift.tt/qPB6GwK 👉 Website: http://greatdad.com/ ============================= 🎬 Recommended Playlists 👉 Life coaching and Executive coaching https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvZb1EJxinN0dsIRgFzNZY5oZ0MUZZfTe 👉 Outdoor and fitness https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvZb1EJxinN32R1amSvfHUjBkx9jcl_kg 🎬 WATCH MY OTHER VIDEOS: 👉 Improve Your Conversations: Parenting, Relationships, And Work Tips With Jake Stahl | GreatDad.com https://youtu.be/WH6h_Qvpff8 👉 How To Get Scholarships And Avoid College Debt: Expert Advice From Dr. Kuni Beasley | Greatdad.Com https://youtu.be/_mHRkmluuNE 👉 Family Adventures In The Galapagos: Travel Tips And Insights With Fernando Diez | GreatDad.com https://youtu.be/wjHCpSysnEU 👉 Fight The Dad Bod: Tips For Health, Fitness, And Fatherhood - Cam Hall | GreatDad.com https://youtu.be/fF_xylp87Kc 👉 How To Start A Dad Podcast: Tips For Balancing Fatherhood & Podcasting! Joe Casabona | GreatDad.com https://youtu.be/HBouKMjJ2Lo ============================= ✅ About GreatDad.com. Welcome to GreatDad.com! This is where I share my podcasts and offer advice, tips, and inspiration for all kinds of dads. Whether you’re a new dad, expecting, single, divorced, or just looking for guidance, I’m here to help. From pregnancy to toddler years, I cover everything you need to know about being a dad. Join me to explore a wealth of information, from weekly pregnancy updates to practical parenting tips. Let’s navigate fatherhood together and make the journey as rewarding as possible. Stay tuned and become a part of our supportive dad community! 🔔 Need guidance and inspiration as a dad? Subscribe for inspiring podcasts on navigating fatherhood, practical parenting tips, expert advice, and real-life stories! https://www.youtube.com/@Greatdad/?sub_confirmation=1 ================================= ADD HASHTAGS ⚠️ Disclaimer: I do not accept any liability for any loss or damage incurred from you acting or not acting as a result of watching any of my publications. You acknowledge that you use the information I provide at your own risk. Do your research. Copyright Notice: This video and my YouTube channel contain dialogue, music, and images that are the property of GreatDad.com. You are authorized to share the video link and channel and embed this video in your website or others as long as a link back to my YouTube channel is provided. © GreatDad.com via GreatDad.com https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCypJ4jJGBTmgt6T5Q5y3ggg August 10, 2024 at 11:16AM

[writer59january13]

Prune juice as effective emetic

Brainstorming yields casting the following plumbline netting genetic, italic, kinetic, magnetic, opportunistic, quixotic, synchronistic, and universalistic result.

Ofttimes I experience constipation bout, and thus the missus pours me a class of natural laxative with clout nursing said tonic, yours truly situated in close proximity to bathroom without doubt lest sphincter muscles go into overdrive wreaking excretory fallout challenge compounded to access loo courtesy flare up of gout while all alone in the wilderness helplessly at odds how to receive handout of toilet tissue (or baby wipes), I bewail to avoid staining underwear (with trademark skid marks, which the wife bemoans, when washing clothes in kitchen sink repulsed when seeing a small piece of excrement) the latter cloth material to clean tuckus, which I prefer using to attend unpleasant task to render posterior happy and shiny tushy

(housing a well functioning conduit, where human waste eliminated that without fail fills tidy bowl brim to overflowing) frequently necessitating me to bucket flush and/or notify management headquarters (for a plumber) located in Lansdale,

which short poem figuratively sketches thumbnail, when dyschezia plugs up lower orifice of the alimentary canal a side effect linkedin to one or more of the prescription medications reliant upon to ameliorate the mental health issues of social anxiety, dysthymia,

(a low mood occurring

for at least two years, along with at least two other symptoms of depression), and palmar hyperhidrosis (characterized by chronic excessive sweating, not related to the necessity of heat loss) to list a few outstanding plagues upon mine body electric afflicting me since mommy dearest

witnessed debut during her parturition

heralding my debut into this badass webbed, wide world,

whereby wildly contra dancing, (the most fun one can have

with their clothes on), a pleasant panacea, yours truly foot loose and fancy free applying nimble fingers watching lovely ladies fancifully twirled.

[ur-skincare]

Positive and Negative Impacts of social media on Career and Social Life 

My professional and social lives have been significantly impacted by social media’s rise in both positive and negative ways. It is a great debate amongst people whether social media has improved or worsened our society.  

Positive Career Impact: social media has been a useful career tool for me. I may share my accomplishments and display my abilities online. I can interact with coworkers, mentors, and potential bosses on websites like LinkedIn. I may learn from them and meet new individuals in my field thanks to this. I can also discuss my field, read about its most recent developments, and express my opinions. By doing this, I establish my reputation as an expert in my field. I learn about employment and opportunities to collaborate with others. 

Negative Career Impact: I must exercise caution, though. My prospects of getting a job may be impacted if I express my own opinions or thoughts or items that spark debate. Occasionally, utilizing social media excessively during working hours prevents me from completing my job effectively. I need to be careful how I use social media and avoid letting it consume too much of my time (Mayo clinic. (n.d.). Para... 5...). Not only do I expose myself to a wider range of people, but I also become more substile to Bullying, Harassment and inappropriate behavior from others as well as 18+ content that not only impacts my mental health but my overall wellbeing (Dharma. (2021). 

Positive effects on social life: social media has made it easy to stay in touch with long-distance friends and relatives. Even though we do not live close to each other, I can still stay up to date on their wellbeing and special moments and share mine with them as well. I use social media sites like Facebook and Instagram to see images and read about other people's lives. Even if we are not in the same location, this makes me feel connected to them. 

Negative effects on social life: There are also drawbacks, particularly regarding social life. I may occasionally use social media excessively and neglect to interact with people in person. Although it is simple to send messages online, face-to-face communication is still crucial and sadly becoming a rare skill, kids and adults are increasingly isolated and seeing an increase of social anxiety. I have also seen that seeing other people's fantastic experiences on social media might make me feel down about my own life. I must keep in mind that people frequently only share the positive aspects of their lives online and most of the time are portraying a fake life that is not actually theirs (Int J Environ Res Public Health. (2023) Para... 6). 

In conclusion, social media affects my professional and personal life in both positive and negative ways. It creates relationships with people and demonstrates my abilities as well as my interest, But I need to be conscious about what I communicate and make sure it does not interfere with my work and social life as it can negatively affect them both. Additionally, it is a good method to stay in touch with distant relatives and friends. However, I must balance that with real life interactions to avoid feeling self-conscious and diminish the amount of social anxiety I experience daily. Making the most of social media's advantages while avoiding its negative side effects requires me to utilize it wisely and be conscious of whether I am just trying to justify my existence in an easy manner instead of perusing real-life rewards and challenges. 

[uncloseted]

How can I feel less stressed / anxious about social media and my mental health when I am going to have a potential career that includes social media?

I’m graduating with my BA in English this December, and I am most likely going to go into a writing career and this in turn might mean social media management careers or online spaces. The problem is that I feel social media is very detrimental to my own personal mental health. How can I draw the line with not having social media in spite of fear of being “left behind”? I feel like every career now involves social media in one way or another and that’s really scary to me. It’s so normalized but I do not want to be on social media.

On one hand I’m scared that if I don’t have social media, I won’t know how to use the apps and am scared I may get passed up for a job position because of it. On the other hand, a lot of companies look you up online and view your online presence and I may be seen as a less valuable candidate because I’m not on social media where so many people and their brands are.

Finally, I feel worried about being looked at weird for not keeping up with the “lingo.” I’m 23 and have never been like chronically on tiktok but people my age (it may just be because i’m still in college) are absorbed in their phones and it’s hard to have a connection in person when other people are just so on their phones. I’m worried i’ll be “unreachable” to family who only have social media, or i’ll miss certain important posts from close friends, etc. The list goes on.

Hopefully this makes sense. I guess i’m just looking for some advice and if you have ever felt like this too?

Thank you Christina!

Forgive me for saying this, but I think you're making a bit of a leap here. I don't think graduating with a BA in English means that you're going to be funneled into a career that requires you to use social media, and I don't think the majority of social media managers have English degrees (they usually have degrees in journalism, communications, marketing, or public relations). Only 27% of college grads have a job that's even related to their undergraduate major to begin with, so what you chose to study undergrad isn't a strong predictor of what you'll actually do for a job.

Your career after you graduate is a choice that you make for yourself. You can avoid having a career that requires you to use social media by just not applying for those types of jobs. There are lots of other options available to you if you do want to pursue something linked to your English degree- and often ones where not having a social media presence is actually a good thing. You could do copywriting, freelance writing, technical writing, editing, proofreading, you could teach English as a second language or teach English Literature as a school subject, you could tutor, you could work as a paralegal... you could even work for a traditional marketing, advertising, or public relations agency. The most you would need for any of those jobs is a LinkedIn profile just so people can reach out to you in a professional context. Social media doesn't have to be part of your career at all if you don't want it to be.

I also don't think hiring managers are really looking to see what candidates' individual social media profiles look like, and I don't think they'll judge you for not having any. By some estimates, up to 80% of new jobs are filled internally or via networking- no written application required. Of the jobs that are publicly listed, over 98.8% of Fortune 500 companies, 66% of large companies, and 35% of small companies are using an applicant tracking system to filter the candidates that they see. That means that an algorithm is making an initial decision on your application, not a person. The amount of times where an actual person is seeing your application and then running an internet background check on you is small, and in that case it's better to have nothing come up than to have a public Instagram account come up. Anything public can impact how their brand is perceived, even if it seems harmless, so it's better for their employees to not have a presence online at all.

Missing out on the things that your friends and family are doing is more of a concern, at least from my point of view. A lot of people do use social media as their primary way of communicating with other people in their life. Maybe you could solve this problem by having accounts but not posting on them, and limiting yourself to a ten minute "check in" every few days to see what people are up to? That way, you don't have to spend time scrolling or engaging, but you can get a quick idea of what everyone is doing so that you don't miss out on anything. Otherwise, I think you just have to trust that the people who are important to you will call you to tell you about their big life updates because they want to make sure that you hear about them. And in terms of making new friends, I think you probably have to find other people who are in the same place you are- just not really interested in being online. It may be a little tricky, but they're out there, and I'm sure they're looking for friends who feel the same way, too.

[billionairebabes]

I need advice on how to start over. I really don't have anything right now. No friends, I'm in a bad relationship ( but if I break up with him then I will literally have no help) and I'm just stuck. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be helpful. I love your blog and thank you for taking time to read this😊

Hi babe, thank you, and sorry to hear about your predicament. I’ve never been in a situation like this and I’m unsure about a lot of details regarding your circumstance but here’s what I would do. 

1. Go home to my family. Living at home with parents can suck but I’d prefer that over a shit bf any day (if your family isn’t overwhelmingly toxic). I’m assuming you live with him? 

2. Go back to school if you aren’t already there. School is expensive but education is always a good step in the direction of independence. Honestly, if you have to, go to a community college and take out federal loans. Try to avoid private ones. 

3. Find a job that I could sustain myself on. In the age of COVID, there are plenty of wfh jobs available and some don’t require a degree. If you have a degree, that’s a plus. If you have a laptop, get on youtube and learn some basic excel skills. Do free trials on sites like skillshare. Do a free trial of LinkedIn premium and I think you’ll have access to LinkedIn Learning. Treat it like a class, get a notebook(s) and take notes. Be consistent. 

4. Cut him off. If it’s a bad relationship, it has to be negatively affecting your mental health. It’s difficult to start over when your mind is not in the right place. Take time to rediscover yourself, your personal interests, and long term professional interests. 

5. Avoid tying yourself to other men in this way in the future and start making friends again. New men that come into your life should only be supplemental to what you already have going on. You’ll meet new friends in your classes or any clubs at school. You may even befriend some of your coworkers. Reconnect with old friends if you can. You’ll need this support system. I’ve also heard of people actually making friends on Bumble BFF. 

6. I’d do confidence work and hella self-reflection. After one of my breakups in college, my confidence was shot and I didn’t even realize it until I started analyzing my post-breakup actions. You need to fully understand that you do not need that man (or any man) and you are fully capable of accomplishing your goals on your own. You also need to build yourself up so that you don’t find yourself in patterns that landed you here in the first place. 

7. How exactly is he helping you? If he’s giving you cash, start saving it so you can get away from him. If you don’t already have a separate bank account, I’d advise you get one. 

Wishing you the best of luck girl! I know this journey won’t be easy but it’s not impossible either! 

[dulce-studies]

Winter Studying Challenge 12/3/20 Day 3: What is your least favourite thing about winter?❄️ My least favorite thing would probably be the weather. I have a love-hate relationship with snow, tbh. But it is absolutely lovely when I look outside and see everything in sight blanketed in snow. 12/4/20 Day 4: What is an unpopular opinion that you have about winter? Ice cream should be eaten in the winter (summer too, sure, but it’s cooler in the winter *ha, I’m so punny*). I love eating ice cream in general so I eat it in the winter too. 12/5/20 Day 5: Are you usually busy during winter? Yes! I usually take winter classes! They definitely help to bump my GPA. My last class was about Cinema History and I loved how it taught me to think about movies/films. Some of my favorites that we watched were Citizen Kane, The Truman Show, and the 15 Million Merits episode from Black Mirror. This winter I’m taking a class on Abnormal and Clinical Psychology. Smol (it was when I started) Update: I’ve been feeling extremely lethargic. I didn’t want to get any work done at all and I waited until the last minute to work on a group project and wasn’t able to get help from a TA (since I started so late), so I submitted a partial product. I feel so bad because I know I’m better than this and my teammates don’t deserve that either yk. *The above picture is the error I got that I could not figure out*. I have 2 finals this week (one is two parts and I finished one exam yesterday) and I have a final essay (I think) for a mapping class that I have a hard time with. Lastly, I need to finish working on this app because Demo Day is literally at the end of the week. So this week is going to be really rough. So, here is my plan: I’m writing this down in my journal with my fountain pen so it feels more concrete. After I post this, I will apply for internships I already have the tabs open. I’ll exercise for 30 minutes to an hour, shower, do some extensive face masks, get dressed (very cutely, might I add), practice for my spanish oral exam, finally make updates to LinkedIn (I’ve been avoiding this for a while). Then I’ll make rice and steamed veggies (in my rice cooker) and watch Star Trek (I might make a post that updates my Star Trek progress bc uh it’s good for my mental health). Then I’ll clean my room and meditate for a bit (I stopped, but I’m going to get back into it today). Also, I left 2 hours free in my calendar (Google Calendar) for my meeting with a TA that will most likely be today or monday- in that space of time I’ll be coding. Then before bed I’m going to read a book! This seems like a lot, but it’s a rational sequence of events and looks manageable when I see it in Google Calendar, especially since I planned out my breaks. Wish my luck, smol humans!!

[wellesleyunderground]

An alum responds to Wellesley’s Question: ‘How Satisfied Are you with your Life?’

One would think that nearly a year into the pandemic that I would have the hang of spending the majority of my time indoors at home and taking all of the necessary precautions to both avoid getting and spreading COVID. Alas, this week was one where I felt particularly exhausted and, to some extent, despondent. Initially in thinking about it, there was no real reason that I could pinpoint that would account for how I was feeling. As I mentioned, we are long into this pandemic. I have been keeping up with Yoga with Adriene at least four times a week, have a healthy currently reading and to be read pile, have Half and Half cued up on Netflix for a light distraction. I have a solid self-care practice.

Then I thought about that Wellesley Alumnae survey I had just completed.

“How satisfied are you with your life?”

A simple question but one that brings up so many feelings and emotions, mostly heavy and negative for me.

The truth? I am not at all satisfied with my life.

I know rationally that comparison is the thief of joy as they say but in this Instagram/Twitter/LinkedIn/social media age, one can’t help but see what others, especially other Wellesley alums, are into and compare, compare, compare. Law degrees and medical school and new homes and books coming out and weddings and babies, etc. etc. etc.

Then I look at my own life, which on the surface, is not that bad considering how many people in the US are struggling financially due to the pandemic (a fact that when I consider my own internal complaining makes me feel worse and ungrateful). Compared to the 12 year old me, however, who when asked what she wanted to be when she grew up for the 6th grade yearbook had visions of being both a film producer and writer or the 18 year old who wanted to be Secretary of State, the 34 year old me is slacking. To be fair, I know and can acknowledge that I have had both of series of traumas  including some in adulthood that have seriously affected my life, mental health issues that at points were either ignored or white knuckled through and a lack of economic privilege and a safety net that matters when it comes to opportunity and risk taking.  Still, that one question triggered me in a way that was unexpected.

I never expected to be 11 years out of Wellesley and on an unclear path. To not have a graduate degree (yet). To still be living in my hometown that has never suited me. To get on calls with my friends and feel like I have no “life events” to share. To feel like I am not doing anything particularly worthwhile. To still be thinking about all the ways I wish I could have done Wellesley differently had I not entered two months out from housing insecurity and family turmoil.

It all could have been different but it is not and I cannot change that as much as I wish I could.

To add to that, being an empath during a time where law enforcement continue to kill people who look like my family members or me simply for being black in America. Watching half a million people die during a pandemic due to this country’s neglectful and downright criminal response to the virus. Seeing some in this country completely wash their hands of taking precautions as soon as reports about Black, Latinx and Indigenous people being disproportionately affected by COVID were published (or in defense of their fReEdOmS depending on who you ask). Performative allyship and superficial DEI trainings. A contentious election. An attempted coup.

I wish I could conclude on some happy note, but that is not the reality of where I am at this week or frankly since June.

“How satisfied are you with your life?”

In 2021? Not satisfied.

Thank you for asking, Wellesley.

_____

Anon ‘09

[writer59january13]

Stricken with anguished nausea

Written three years ago tomorrow, yet superimposed (likened to emotional palimpsest) upon

mental state of yore recent post traumatic stress

triggered courtesy war torn legally tendered greenbacks, where enemy bonded, heisted, and netted

mine life savings, he

(who fabricated conspiracy

implicating Citizens Bank employees,

whereby I fell for

hook, line and sinker)

unfailingly didst surrender

willingly (figuratively suctioned)

hand over fist funds galore at my expense did score leaving me dirt poor subsequently inducing scribe

of Schwenksville to be more assertive and contact attorney general in an effort to restore forfeited cash confidence man wrested, plucked, and extracted banknotes wrenched stashed nest egg

tucked within secret hideaway under floor.

Psyche still particularly riven

upon heels of liquidated change spurring yours truly

to rattle his virtual tin can since series of unfortunate events

doomed harried luckless Perkiomen Valley troubadour reincarnate begging (he gently seeketh

financial succor viz gofundme) for largesse.

Even before scamming imbroglio,

I experienced disillusionment

regarding mein kampf and hard times getting older and just scraping by courtesy skin of my false teeth.

Impossible mission to avoid senescence,

nevertheless, yours truly sought to hold back hands of time, when pubescent metamorphosis occurred (two and a half score years ago)

aging petrified me, and imposed (Uriah) heap of great expectations and unwanted responsibilities.

In short, I did not want to grow up forced to don mantle of adulthood

instead hankered and hungered

for fictionally nostalgic boyhood,

whereby every day

in make believe webbed wide world

exemplified hunky dory nirvana.

Aside from experiencing adolescent depression demeanor of yours truly, said Lilliputian severely withdrawn.

Scapegoat my middle name

bullies identified perfect bullseye

analogous to trumpeting antagonists

me as carnival barker calls out:

step right up draw an arrow from quiver take aim at mine plainly affixed target.

Deplorable basket case loathed adult role

idealized mythical boyhood

refrained eating - courtesy anorexia nervosa deprived growing body necessary sustenance

scores of Earth orbitz

round sun since puberty,

now vehemently decry growth process sabotaged self stigmatized stunt(ed) man I stand on tippy toes, (with nails that grow askew),

a pygmy among giants.

Sadness ofttimes eclipses hijacked and jackknifed joy aware emotional faculty

thru conscious facilitated meditation

can jar infinitesimally

long log jammed damn friggin

invisible obstruction along battle creek.

Linkedin with recovery coach, I experienced then

(that day being July 20th, 2020) around high noon cathartic enlightenment,

which revelation heightened awareness how when just a lil lad yours truly

exhibited socially withdrawn mean mien

mollycoddled by overprotective parents

placed no demands upon their

sole contemplative introspective, and ruminative non prodigal son, yet upon edging into adulthood (and magical age of eighteen) self same idiosyncratic person (i.e. me) faulted for supposed antipathy toward those who conceived yours truly; I honestly confess lack of genuine interest exhibited toward other family members.

Absent marginal positive self image infinitesimal if ever present within grown docile scaredy cat, his informal assignment gently suggested and accepted

with little objection

courtesy Maggie Jaramillo

brainchild social services Creative Health employee.

Daily repeated self affirmations (ideally more than once) rapidly jotted down ennobling exercise prompted by aforementioned magnificent therapist strongly suggested technique

to seed empowerment

fostering joie de vivre.

These waning days of mein kampf and hard times

flicker with cautious optimism to wax poetic versus referencing anecdotal

personal gloom frequently cited sprung from raw bits

since powder milk biscuits

unknown to yours truly; thee focus of disproportionate maternal and paternal affections

unwittingly, unmistakably, and understandably

triggered sibling resentment no matter brother where art thou among self and two sisters not deliberately, but inadvertently

created, fomented, incited, loosed...

genies of envy, jealousy, ornery... out the bottle an immediately recalled realization

during my formative years never known to yours truly then only recounted decades ex post facto courtesy mother some months prior to her death.

[theconstellationsinyourskin]

i like. avoided my linkedin bc it still had all my writing/editing shit on there (which ideally i never do again lmfao) and i only had two connections anyway but another person from high school finally friend requested me or whatever it’s called on there. so i cleaned it up and scrolled thru the recommended connections to see who else from high school was on there and. wow lmao. on one hand i feel a little bad that I’m not even done with my associate’s yet (I graduated high school in 2016) but also lmfao I sure did go through a lot and now I am Excited for school instead of hating it and being super burnt out. So it’s all gucci, comparing myself to other (richer, and with probably generally better mental health, given that I dropped out of IB last-minute and they didn’t) people is dumb. i wish i was doing fun/useful things instead of working at Subway but hey, i’ll get there eventually c:

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

okay, y’all, i’ve gotta back on my tl;dr bullshit soapbox about something:

so, the other day, i was just mindlessly scrolling through my corporate & capitalist hellscape facebook™️ (i.e. LinkedIn) and came across this totally trite mostly bullshit meme that was shared by some corporate executive search man (whose name i decided to crop out bc eh):

so i obviously agree with the last three points on this list, bc god yes my life would’ve been a bit better if I didn’t get all my dialogue about mental health only from teen mags and horrible portrayals in teen tv shows (and also this hellsite). and hell yeah everyone, and I mean EVERYONE needs to learn that failure is okay many situations (like failing a class in uni or school) bc everyone fails at something sometimes. and dealing with failure is HARD. and time management is something that I’m pretty sure everyone lies to fuckin hell about on their resume, bc lots of people really suck at it, myself included. so yeah. that needs to be taught. and i also agree with the “how to manage your health” point. bc thats becoming ever more prevalent and important with career burn out etc.

but entrepreneurship? people management? conflict resolution? creativity? how to manage money? public speaking? like y’all. three of those ARE taught/learned in school, who the fuck wrote this meme? 

for anyone who actually paid attention in maths class, (which is probably very few people outside of the top performing classes), there WAS A WHOLE FUCKING UNIT that focuses on financial maths (in australia anyway). I ignored this unit as well as maths in general at school, bc I generally hated maths and was convinced that I was somehow never going to get a job. but i remember the gist of the overall topic and its subtopics. one subtopic teaches you how to calculate your wages in various contexts (overtime, double-time and a half, holiday payments, im pretty sure maternity leave pay was jammed in somewhere? idk if other countries would have double time & a 1/2 like australia though). another subtopic teaches you how to calculate interest on bank loans and credit rates on credit cards. a third subtopic teaches you how to calculate savings (obvs in terms of discounts in shops)....im sure there was a bit about budgeting in there somewhere? im pretty sure there were some questions were about tax payments somewhere as a subtopic enrichment exercise? but you get my gist. are these not money management skills? in some sense? like if i could find one of my old maths textbooks or old maths books i’d give an example of a question, to make my point stronger. but the problem, like i said before, is that a load of people (myself included) just zone out in maths in high school and stop trying with it. they forget what they’ve learnt, and just remember how much they hated algebra and how they’ll never use it again. maths was one hell of a fucking strong bitch, guys. but maybe i’m wrong.

creativity? excuse me? have people forgotten about art classes? drama classes? english classes? music classes? need i go on? okay don’t get me wrong, most of these classes did focus a lot on memorising quotes or facts about people (artists/writers/poets/composers/dramatists etc) or specific  periods/movements in art or theatre or literature for example.... but the amazing sculptures/paintings etc people created in art for their final projects in year 12, or even in year 10 were works of their imagination. the scripts people write in drama or maybe english (if you had a fun teacher who did a screenwriting unit, for example) are creative asf. especially in year 12 when they do their major projects, where they may produce a monologue or a short movie, and then there’s a group piece. drama students might even make their own costumes for these performances. LIKE AIN’T THAT A LOT OF CREATIVITY RIGHT THERE Y’ALL????? and english. lowly old english. THEY HAVE A WHOLE FUCKING TOPIC ON CREATIVE WRITING FOR FUCKS SAKE. the original music people might create for their final projects too in year 12? does that not count as creativity? like yes, i know a lot of these things do still have to meet bs assessment criteria (especially in catholic schools, where the main things are you don’t offend the catholic education office and jesus/god lmao) to be considered worthy of a mark for your year 12 exams. but FUCK. HOW THE FUCK AREN’T ANY OF THESE SUBJECTS COUNTED TOWARDS BEING CREATIVE???????? like fuck your corporate creative ideation or w/e bullshit, Callum. drama and english even lend themselves to improvisation in some instances, like public speaking, which is examined further, below.

next, we move on to public speaking. this shit is basically taught from the first goddamn day of “show & tell” in kindy/kindergarten, and this fucker has the gall to say that it’s not fucking taught in schools? someone call in miley cyrus/hannah montana to throw the fuck down in this motherfucking hoedown BC THIS STUPID-ASS MEME-FUCKER HAS NERVE. i hated public speaking. absolutely hated it. even though it was ironically one of the places i ended up excelling in in english classes. even when i fucked up in my english speeches with like “oh, fuck.... said nelson mandela,  i’ve seem to’ve lost my palm card. wait, shit! there it is... excuse me while i pull it out of my ass. whoops, sorry miss” *bats eyes and finger guns at my year 9 english teacher who has her head in her hands and is done with my shit, while the class laughs at my gaffe* i’d still end up with like 73% or like 26/30. it was baffling. but for people who weren’t the class clown/smart alec like i was from years 7-10 (and like i actually wasn’t once i moved schools).... public speaking is like the leading cause of anxiety, right? like by the time i got to doing speeches/presentations at uni i was having panic attacks... the thought of presenting to my classes made me fucking sick with fear and anxiety. nearly every subject i did at uni (even when i tried to avoid subs with public speaking assessments) and throughout school had some type of presentation/speech whatever you want to call it project/activity in it. even fucking SPORT/PDHPE at school and even philosophy at uni. and these fuckers are saying its not taught in schools. FUCK  OFF. like yeah, i get that they actually mean it in the professional sense.... where people can give the sappy bs motivational speeches or an insightful ted-talk worthy 20-minute presentation... or a great sales pitch. but like??? save that for mike “my dad phoned in to EY and i have a job waiting for me after uni” mcfuck in a business major or law degree? or for clubs like toastmasters? fuck. ok enough of the skills we learn in school. let’s move onto the businesslike-sounding ones of “people management”, “conflict management” and fucking “entrepreneurship”. like. what the fuck? okay in some sense people management and conflict management could potentially be used in managing friendships and relationships in your personal life. but like. i can feel the business underpinnings and i dont like it lmao. like why do you want fully functioning adults straight out of school, franklin? and there’s extra credit conflict management subjects at uni??? or at least my home uni had it... and i never did them bc they were intensive courses during summer break lol. but the one that pissed me off the most was entrepreneurship. LIKE ARE KIDS NOT FUCKING ALLOWED TO BE KIDS NOW????? well  apparently: “NO! YOU MUST ALWAYS THINK OF MONEY MAKING WAYS TO BE RICH! YOU MUST BE ENTREPRENEURIAL!!!!!! YOU MUST GENERATE BUSINESS IDEAS FROM THE TIME YOU CAN FUCKIN’ WALK!!!!! AND SPEAK!!! CHILDHOOD AND BEING A TEENAGER DON’T EXIST WORKER BEE!!!! CAPITALISM FOR ALL!!!! WORKER BEES!!! CAPITALISM IS YOUR FRIEND!!! OWN A BUSINESS BY THE TIME YOU’RE 8 YEARS OLD!” like it’s insidious asf. and it doesn’t acknowledge that most entrepreneurs are already privileged people anyway, who usually have some type of money to start off their venture (or that’s what it feels like anyway). and yeah throw all the “THIS BOY IS AN ENTREPRENEUR AT 18!!! 18!!!???? BY STARTING HIS OWN BUSINESS AT 12!!!! WHAT A CHAMP! 😁🙃” clickbait news stories at me, but i don’t fucking care. the concept and perceived over-importance and almost preaching mindset of entrepreneurship is slowly becoming insidious and toxic asf. call me paranoid. but that’s what it feels like.

but with those last three topics, i want to make a point that school curriculum’s (in australia at least, and probably worldwide) are so jam-packed already with sport (which is pointless and shitty), geography (ok how to read maps is important, but i never bothered to learned to do it properly), history, science, english etc etc etc..... that like.... where the actual fuck are the gonna jam the above bs (people management”, “conflict management” and entrepreneurship) into the curriculum???? and also teachers are already over-worked enough as it is, they don’t need another load of shitty subjects pushed onto them. and they sure asf don’t earn enough (especially in the states) to have this bs pushed into their subject schedules either. keep them at uni, where they should be. or just in the workplace/in the general public where they belong. and if people suggest that you could probably push these subjects into the year 11/12 business studies programs or elective commerce courses in years 9/10, save your goddamn breath. like i remember looking at business studies hsc papers in years 11/12 to see what they did.... and it was pretty chock-a-block anyway. and my experience of my year 9 commerce was horrible, to say the least. let kids be kids, for fucks sake. they shouldn’t have to be fully functioning adults in the workplace, by the end of high school, for fucks sake. AND ENTREPRENEURSHIP IS NOT AN ESSENTIAL SKILL????!!!! FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT, WILHELM. anyway. that’s my rant over about how i hate how corporate people are trying to be #relatablewiththeyouth🙃 with their shitty versions of “10 things i wish we learned in school” memes.... and failing.... without realising that this is why millennials are suspicious and cynical about meme usage by corporate people/corporations.