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natlacentral · 4 months ago

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Mastering the Elements for Avatar: The Last Airbender

Michael Goi, ASC, ISC was not planning to be one of the series’ cinematographers when he signed onto Avatar: The Last Airbender as an executive producer and producing director, but the need for such expertise became apparent very early on in prep — well before any cinematographers had been hired.

The Netflix production is a live-action adaptation of the popular animated series by Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko, and it called for a combination of backlot, traditional-soundstage and Vancouver-based location work — as well as additional capture on an 80'x27.5' ICVFX stage built by Pixomondo and William F. White International at the Canadian Motion Picture Park in British Columbia.

For the ICVFX work, “some of the visual assets had to be lit approximately one year before the show was to be filmed,” Goi recalls. “I emphasized to production that a cinematographer needed to fulfill that responsibility. I said, ‘We can’t light the environments without a cinematographer.’”

Series showrunner Albert Kim, who brought him onto the project, suggested Goi could provide that expertise. The cinematographer recalls responding, “Only if I’m credited, paid and acknowledged as being the director of photography.

“It was important to me to make the statement that you need to have a cinematographer involved at the very beginning of a virtual production, when the lighting is being designed,” he continues. “You don’t want the cinematographer to come in later and be relegated to simply duplicating visual approaches that were arbitrarily made long before they were hired. Cinematographers have a creative contribution, and it should come at the beginning of the creative cycle. Happily, the production agreed.”

Ultimately, Goi directed and shot Episodes 1 and 2, and the series’ cinematography team was rounded out by Michael Balfry, CSC (Episodes 3, 4, 7 and 8) and Stewart Whelan, ISC (Episodes 5 and 6). “I was looking for cinematographers who could embrace the varied styles of the worlds in the show and give it an epic look,” says Goi. “Because of the ages of some of the actors, the cinematographers also needed to be able to work quickly despite the large number of technical challenges. Michael Balfry and Stewart Whelan checked all those boxes and were able to accommodate the checkered prep schedule required by the virtual-production asset development.”

The other directors were Jabbar Raisani (Episodes 3 and 4), who doubled as an executive producer and visual-effects supervisor; co-executive producer Roseanne Liang (Episodes 5 and 6); and Jet Wilkinson (Episodes 7 and 8).

Avatar is set in a fictional realm where humans exist in four nations, each based on an element of nature: Water Tribes, Earth Kingdom, Fire Nation and Air Nomads. Within each faction are “benders,” who can manipulate their respective elements telekinetically. An Avatar is a bender who has mastered all four elements. Twelve-year-old Aang (Gordon Cormier), the last surviving Air Nomad, has been determined to be the next Avatar.

Goi, a longtime fan of the animated series, was keen to “make sure we made something the hardcore fans would appreciate and embrace,” he says. “In my pitch session, I talked about the essence of the show and what I wanted to make sure translated into the live-action version — like how the fights were choreographed, how they were composed, and the color palette of certain scenes.

“I always loved in the animated show when there’d be this big fight going on, and they’d go to this high-angle view and you’d see the two different-colored beams of telekinetic elemental energy colliding in the middle,” Goi adds. “Those were things I wanted to make sure were represented in the show.

Traditional Techniques Another creative choice of Goi’s was to root the visual approach in traditional cinematography methods — some dating even to the silent era. “I’m a huge fan of silent movies, and I’m a big fan of doing things in-camera,” he says. “I never went into Avatar thinking that everything was going to be a huge digital effect. How we shot the show was going to be, for me, a mix of high technology and cut-and-paste filmmaking. Keeping a hands-on approach made me, in some ways, feel closer to what the characters were experiencing.

“Also, as visual processes become more perfected, I love embracing non-perfection as a way of helping the viewer feel that what they are watching was created by people, not machines.”

Elaborating on some examples of his “cut-and-paste” approach on Avatar, Goi continues, “I used foreground miniatures in some instances to create a sense of size and scope while also doing the work primarily in the camera. The statue of Yangchen was a bust that was only 2 feet high, but it looks like a 40-foot statue in the final shots. This was accomplished by using a 10mm lens at T22, so that everything from 10 inches to infinity was in sharp focus.

“Similarly, when our heroes travel to the island of Kyoshi in Episode 2, the statue of Kyoshi is intended to be 150 feet tall. To create that impression, we put a miniature bust of the statue on a high-roller stand and used a telescoping crane to circle the head and look down at actors walking below, again using a 10mm lens.”

Goi’s love of Buster Keaton movies came to the fore in planning an Episode 1 sequence in which Katara (Kiawentiio) and Sokka (Ian Ousley) are in a boat that gets swept up on a wave and carried into a massive ice cave, where they’re ejected from the boat as it hits an ice shelf.

“In our preproduction talks, I was told that was potentially the most expensive shot in the entire episode,” Goi recalls. “I said, ‘There’s not going to be any CGI in this shot.’ And they said, ‘How can you do that?’ I said, ‘It’s very simple: We have the boat, a physical piece with stunt performers in it; we have the ice shelf, a practical build by production designer Michael Wylie; and we have the ice cave on the LED wall, a virtual-production asset we’ve already accounted for. All we do is put the boat on some wheels, tie a rope to the wheels, have a couple of crewmembers pull the rope, and the boat slides across the studio floor, hits the ice shelf, and then the stunt people are ejected out.’

“They said, ‘What about the water?’ And I said, ‘We build a 4-by-4-foot water trough and put it in front of the camera with a 70mm lens with a split diopter on the bottom — probably a +2 — and then we pan across with the water in the foreground and the boat farther back, but both appearing onscreen to be at the same depth within the frame.”

“When they said, ‘What about the wave that propels the boat?’ I said, ‘Two crewmembers with 5-gallon buckets of water stand on the side, and on “Action,” they pour the water into the water trough, creating the wave — and the other crew pull the rope to move the boat.’

“And they were like, ‘Really? This is going to work?’ And I said, ‘Yes, it worked in the 1920s for Buster Keaton. It’ll work!’

“So, that’s what we did, and it ended up being the first shot on the very first day of filming. When we shot it, everybody’s eyes were glued to the monitor. At the end, when the stunt performers got ejected, everybody applauded, and they said, ‘Wow! It’s great that you knew how to do that!’ I said, ‘I’ve never done that before. It seemed like it would work in theory, and it certainly seemed like it would be much more fun than doing it another way!’”

Complementary Anomalies After testing a variety of cameras, the production chose the Sony Venice, which Goi favored “because I like the color space, and it gave me a built-in level of contrast that I felt was easiest to work with.” The three cinematographers also agreed that shooting anamorphic would “give us the kind of visual anomalies that complemented the feel of the show.”

After choosing Panavision T Series lenses “for their high resolution and visual perfection,” Goi started seeing “a lot of moiré in our virtual-production tests — regardless of focal length, regardless of distance to subject. I was told VFX had a provision in their budget for digital fixes, but I was concerned that this was happening in almost every shot. So, I called [ASC associate and Panavision’s senior vice president of optical engineering and lens strategy] Dan Sasaki. Dan said, ‘Pack up all your lenses and send them to me.’ We did, and he tweaked just the right element at just the right angle and sent them back, and we had virtually no moiré issues from that point on! And we had full resolution, which is what we wanted. It’s not an understatement to say that Dan Sasaki saved the production millions of dollars, because that would have been a lot of digital fixes!”

The show’s final 2.20:1 aspect ratio was an evolution of sorts. The filmmakers originally wanted to frame in 2.39:1, but Netflix requested 2.0:1 to accommodate their various markets and distribution platforms. “Ultimately,” says Goi, “the show was distributed in 2.20, which helped deliver the big-screen look we wanted without compromising their distribution platforms.

“Light It Like a Normal Show” Cinematographer Whelan was new to shooting on an LED volume and excited about exploring its potential. First, though, he needed to familiarize himself with Avatar’s source material. “It was super exciting when the project came across my path,” he recalls. “I had to go and watch [several] years’ worth of animations, which was a lot of fun!

“I just loved Michael Goi’s approach to the show,” Whelan continues. “He said, ‘You just light it like you’re lighting a normal show.’ They had the stage in a constant prep/test mode with a full kit and crew there with a camera, so we were able to go in and see through our lenses what the virtual sets would look like on the LED walls.”

He observes that the Panavision T Series anamorphics were particularly well suited to the production. “The combination of a little-bit-older anamorphic glass with the Panavision characteristics and bokeh — the sheer beauty of those lenses — softened the image, but created a very authentic feel for the in-camera composites. I felt like I was living in these environments and able to take the audience to places that we could never actually go with a camera.”

On the experience of virtual production and ICVFX with LED walls, cinematographer Balfry says, “It’s really nice to have your set or location there behind you [when you’re shooting], because then you know how it feels. When you’re doing greenscreen, you’ll plan the motivating light, but once [the shot is] out of your hands, you just hope there’s continuity between the lighting and what they create in the background. It was really fun to be able to see our [virtual] sets while we were shooting. I felt like I was part of the whole image process.”

Whelan strove to incorporate as much film lighting as possible. “The screens are very useful, but I think it’s a misconception that you can light [entire scenes] with them,” he says. They’re great for the wide shots, but as you come in, you end up using a lot more traditional lighting.

“The stage ceiling had a beautifully devised latch system where you could hinge up the panels, and above that was a complete lighting rig,” Whelan continues. “We plumbed that rig for every kind of light we wanted — a Fresnel or an LED, and big guns like Creamsource Vortex8s and Arri SkyPanel 360-Cs, four to eight of them in a bank to create volumetrics of light. In addition, [key grip] John Westerlaken put in rigging that allowed us to put up flaps, even in front of the lighting, and drop in diffusion like 40-by-40s, 40-by-20s or 40-by-12s underneath the lighting to soften things in a very natural way.

“Also, the lighting units were built on scissor rigs so they could be lowered in below the ceiling when we needed. We’d use the walls for the wides, and when we went in for close-ups, the rigging would drop down behind us so we could light quickly with movie lighting from lower down without bringing it in on the floor. I didn’t steer away from hard light, either — I just made sure to never pollute the screens with it.”

Maximizing Space The production’s massive LED virtual-production stage occupied almost two-thirds of the stage space, leaving little room for production designer Wylie and his crew to change out practical sets.

“The general rule of thumb in OSVP stage construction is that the LED volume should occupy only one-third of the total stage space to allow room for production and sets that will be swapped out,” Goi says. “But Vancouver was a very busy town, and stage space was at a premium. Changing out the practical sets became a delicate scheduling issue with the art department, because there were not enough practical locations to jump to while a swap was happening, and [when] you have to change out the entire floor from a forest setting with trees to a snow setting with igloos, it takes time.”

Consequently, the production built a second, smaller LED volume on an adjacent stage and used it primarily to shoot smaller scenes and most of the Appa flying sequences.

Offering Insights Virtual production has grown in popularity in recent years, but Goi is quick to point out that Avatar: The Last Airbender was ultimately a mix of traditional visual-effects work performed after principal photography as well. “Some of the virtual environments were just not ready to be photographed for different reasons, and we shot those scenes on greenscreen,” Goi says. “When you’re creating a show with fantasy locales, it’s not a simple matter of just importing stock backgrounds — everything has to be built from the ground up. So, traditional VFX work still dominates much of the final show.”

So where does virtual production fit in the visual toolbox today? “The reality is, cinematographers have been doing virtual production for more than a hundred years,” Goi says. “Every time we’ve had to shoot a window with a fake background outside and make it look real, every time we’ve had to perfectly balance a blue- or greenscreen so things could be composited in there later, we’ve been doing virtual production — and that’s throughout the entire history of motion pictures. The difference today is that the tools are much better, the resolution of the screens is much higher, the color fidelity of what we’re looking at is much more stable, and so on. But the concept is the same.”

Goi adds that his work on this project “was the fulfillment of my initial love and respect for the original animated series. Being able to bring these characters to a new generation of viewers was the opportunity of a lifetime, and I hope the images that I and my fellow cinematographers created will resonate with the audience for years to come.”

Recalling Kurosawa

“Production designer Michael Wylie did a brilliant job on this show — his sets were truly wonderful,” says Goi. “I provided some inspiration for one of them: When we were discussing the look of the village for Episode 2, shot on location [in Maple Ridge, Vancouver, Canada], I mentioned that I’d like it to have the feel of the village in Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai. Michael was very excited by the idea and used the inclined topography of the location for maximum depth, making the look of the houses in line with that classic film. We built the village to take advantage of the natural direction of the light, and then we added hazy fog and the homage was complete!”

VFX and Post

As the scope of Avatar: The Last Airbender evolved during postproduction, executive producer/episode director Jabbar Raisani was asked to help oversee the expanding visual-effects work. “I have a heavy VFX background, coming from shows like Game of Thrones and Stranger Things, and Netflix was looking for some of that expertise as the plan was reshaped in post,” Raisani explains.

The eight episodes of Avatar’s first season included more than 3,400 VFX shots handled by more than 20 vendors. Post-production spanned September 2022 to February 2024. Key providers included Scanline VFX, Image Engine, Framestore and Important Looking Pirates.

Some of the series involves fully digital actors and environments, but most of the VFX required live-action elements. For the VFX imagery, Raisani’s crews did their best to emulate the original cinematography. “Michael Goi [ASC, ISC] directed and shot the first block [of episodes], so he set the look,” he notes. “For each subsequent block, we always looked at what each cinematographer brought to the set and tried to match their lighting. Even if we wanted something like brightness to pop on a shot, we’d match the plate first and then address it in the DI with our colorists. If we didn’t match the plate material, our VFX work would inherently stand out differently.”

Another challenge was conforming the VFX to the look of the original animated show. “We’d always look at any sequence that had been established in the original animated series and try to be truthful to the framing they intended in the original 2D space. In post, we’d even have the animated series in the temp cut and then try to create VFX representing the same concepts. We’d send that out to the vendors to communicate the feeling we were looking for.”

Real-world references were key in creating effects for the elemental battles in which the benders wield fire, water, earth and air as weapons. “For fire, we tapped a reference library built during research on flamethrowers for Stranger Things,” Raisani says. “Water was more challenging because we needed it to act in ways water doesn’t normally; we looked at footage of how it behaves in zero-g to get ideas.”

Most of the simulations were created using SideFX Houdini combined with proprietary software such as Scanline’s Flowline simulation tool. Nuke performed most of the compositing, and Maya rounded out the majority of the 3D work across the different vendors.

A traditional performance-capture volume was built and used for complex martial-arts sequences, but the team also leveraged Move AI, which offers a camera-based AI-enhanced video mocap tool.

Another capture technique involved volumetric methods. “Scanline’s Eyeline is a performance-capture tool that captures video as three-dimensional geometry,” Raisani says. “We used it for a scene during the Agna Qel’a siege. The system is an array of cameras facing inward, so you get live-action performances as 3D models. You can then drop them into a completely CG scene and move the virtual camera around them.”

Raisani was also tasked with conforming all the VFX into a coherent color-finishing pipeline as final delivery approached. “[Creative post council co-lead] Siggy Ferstl at Company 3 set up the show LUT in prep, so every VFX vendor would apply that to their shots, and Siggy used that as a starting point. We tracked the dailies color all the way through post. Siggy also did a lot of pre-grading and could send frames to the vendors for reference; it wasn’t baked in, but it helped everyone understand where their shots would fit into the final.”

#natla #atla #avatar the last airbender #netflix avatar #netflix atla #avatar netflix #atla netflix #the american society of cinematographers #american cinematographer #michael goi #michael balfry #stewart whelan #jabbar raisani #interview #article

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lovesick-panmess · 2 years ago

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The Sun Lives Forever (Until it Dies)

Raphael looks out to the demolition in front of him, wondering how long he can trick himself into thinking that the monstrous pink tentacles are actually the green pines in the forest way back then. When the worst monster they had to face was made out of ancient armor, all he needed to do was have faith in his brothers to catch him, active the ninpo that rested deep inside that reassured him that he wasn’t alone.

He was falling and his brothers were nowhere around to catch him.

-------

‘I don’t want to die.’ A childlike cry comes from inside himself, the tears blur his vision back to reality where he is, in fact about to die.

As kids, Donnie enjoyed assigning them roles that correlated with whatever topic of interest he was studying that week.

It started with the four elements of matter, in which Raph was Earth, Donnie was Fire, Leo was Water, and Mikey was Air (this sparked a lengthy debate between the brothers as well as a TV marathon of ‘Avatar the Last Airbender’ whenever their dad wasn't hogging the TV), and even the parts of a cell (Raph will never understand Donnie's cried insistence that he was the mitochondria but wore it as a badge of honor anyways).

Then came the solar system.

It had been exceptional for one topic to entirely hold their attention, and Mikey's delicate touch in artistry always complemented Donnie's narrative of a vast and fascinating space. Raph was content to simply listen to the cosmic realm that lay far beyond the swearing, while Leo enjoyed examining and reading the interesting factoids.

"Keeping it within the Milky Way, Raphie would definitely be the Sun in my brilliant mind. I don't mind being specifically the moon of the Earth, albeit I might hop a little. Given that his ego provides more than enough fuel to keep him blazing, Nardo is the stars, and Angelo is the comets since he would be responsible for destroying the dinosaurs just as he is for destroying my technology."

Mikey attempts to kick away the scrap metal he was currently painting on.

The slider leaped up and down in excitement despite the soft-shell’s jabs at him, shaking Mikey fiercely as he did so and saying, "Whatever Don-Bon. Be a dull moon; I'll be a star! I am the stars’ ruler; Michael, you gotta draw me-“ When Raph turns to Donnie, who is still reading intently, the two youngest brothers' chatter fades to the background. "Dee, why is it so obvious that I'm the Sun? Raph thinks Mikey fits it better, he shines so brightly with that smile of his.”

As any rational thought would be quickly swept away and the victim (yes, you heard that correctly) would become a mindless slave for the time being, the box turtle's smile was a sight to be avoided and adored. Despite that, Raph would be more like the Sun than Mikey because of his shining, gentle demeanor, which held an ineffable warmth to their days. "You have to be", Donnie begins to shake his head while waving his palm in the air and looking away from the eldest. "Because you are the center of our universe, it only makes sense for us to revolve around you. And you, Raph, are like sunshine personified. You shine sufficiently bright.”

Raph now has to look away before he ensnares Donnie in a bear hug for the remainder of the day as the genius's face twists and he carefully looks up, obviously questioning whether he said the correct thing but the goofy grin on his brother's face gives him all the answer he needs. As Leo and Mikey's disagreement intensifies, Raph turns around and hastily holds out his arms to keep the two of them apart before they collide.

“The stars are prettier!”

"Comets are stronger!"

“Well the Sun is pretty and powerful, it can also never die. So Raph wins and you two bozos can stop arguing.” He responds with a triumphant grin, shrinking slightly in the face of the death glares he receives. He turns over his shoulder for Donnie to support him, but the genius had already left the premises.

Donnie returns with a presentation that is tilted ‘The Moon is superior, now bask in my glory..” He doesn’t make it past the first slide before getting tackled.

——-

Raphael feels the sensation of a falling star.

Most likely as a result of him actually falling. (Obviously)

Raph wonders how long he can fool himself into thinking that the pink monstrous tentacles are truly the green trees in the forest from back then as he looks out at the devastation in front of him. The ninpo that lay inactive inside him now, when it once reassured him that he wasn't alone and activated when the scariest creature they had to battle was made of ancient armor and all he had to do was trust his brothers to catch him.

His brothers aren’t here.

The tears start flowing immediately, and yet the regret does not. Leo's portals weren't working, Mikey was unresponsive, they were encircled, and Donnie was on the verge of shutting down, which wouldn't help them any. He recognized what being the bait could cost him. Leo's expression of panic and futility could be seen from far away, and the slider was unable to come up with a solution.

But that was okay, Raph is the big brother, he picks up after his baby brothers. (They’re little, they don’t know any better)

‘I don’t want to die. I don’t wanna go.’ A childlike cry comes from inside himself and he swears that he has been falling forever, his heart clenches in terror as his mind flashes through remembrances of Leo's laughter and jibes, Donnie's ramblings of various scientific findings, and Mikey's experiments with different dishes, and the cold, horrifying realization that he will never experience those again.

“But you saved them. They are safe in the turtle tank by now.” Mind Raph replies, images of taking Brother Kraang with him but, of course, the monster was forced to use one last resort. Raph tries to ignite his ninpo once more, but the red flicker that envelopes his wrists quickly fades and serves as final proof that fighting is hopeless.

As he sobs and wails in the face of death, he tries in vain to console himself by wrapping his arms around himself. Mind Raph can be heard softly humming, "A memory then. A distraction.”

Since the sight in front of him is already transitioning, Raphael is unable to reply.

——-

It was Leo’s pick for movie night and he has grown a love for horror movies at the ripe age of 10. Raph catches himself blinking in surprise and quickly moves to remove his brother from sight before frowning in frustration and responding, "I don't know Leo. Are you sure that Donnie and Mikey can handle it as well?” The cover art wasn't particularly horrifying, but the pool of blood at the bottom was realistic enough to give him a slight uneasiness.

“Disregarding the fact that I am being discussed as if I am not even present. I have done significant research on the movie, certainly not sufficient to be spoiled, but other than three possible sequences I should be able to watch this film without concern.” Donnie says, citing the lists of highlights and drawbacks for the eldest to see on the screen. Mikey pips up, “Pluss, my favorite actors Jackie Duff and Ashton Canon are in lead roles! So there is no way I am missing this masterpiece.”

From a great height, Leo could be seen grinning and encircling Raph, remarking, "And I know losing 3 to 1 is a defeating loss, bro. But, ask Dad like you always do; after all, you are his favorite.”

Even trying to fight against his brother's puppy eyes was pointless (Raph loathes being such a pushover, but their happiness was truly contagious and he just can not say no). He nods simply before heading to their father's room from the living room.

The fact that their father was even engaged in their activities was one of the many illusions that Raph worked so hard to maintain. Most of the time, the 12-year-old had to check in twice a day to make sure that their father is even still alive.

Because one day he’ll forget, he’ll forget to check and Dad would be dead for hours.

Holding the poster, he shakes the notion from his head while gazing into the rat's lifeless eyes and paying attention to the rat's ears as they occasionally twitch. “Pops?” He speaks quietly, but he is fully aware that there will be no reaction. Instead, he makes an effort to time himself; if Raph could do it, their "chat" would go no longer than three minutes.

There had been times were Raph used to talk, hoping it would be encouraging enough to get some kind of response but hope had been sucked out of him as all he could look at was his dad’s empty shell. The room felt suffocating and he had already woken up more anxious than usual today, he can not stop himself with the instinct to run out so run out he does.

Splinter doesn’t even blink when the door slams.

“Well? Well? What did Dad say?” Mikey asks with Raph’s return, bouncing off the couch eagerly and into his arms, giggling when he gets twirled. “Pops says we can watch, but we still need to go to bed at 9 like always.” That earns him cheers and a light kiss on his cheek from Leo, it suppresses all the bad feelings, even for a little bit.

“Let’s go make dinner so we have plenty of time to watch.”

The film wasn't as bad as his imagination had made it out to be; some scenes had him burying his face in the cushions as the protagonists ran through the haunted mansion. Mikey was enjoying the sarcastic quips as well as pointing out the symbolic meanings tied into the monster's backstory, while Donnie and Leo were both loudly commenting on how moronic it was for the heroines to lock themselves inside the residence to hold back the monster. Overall, it was an exciting night that put them all to sleep easily.

Raph, on the other hand, couldn't sleep.

His mind replayed the scene in which each family member was picked up and dragged away, the grief-stricken wails echoing loudly. He hugs Captain Snuggles even tighter, his gaze fixed on the door at the slightest sound.

Footsteps can be heard down the hall, and his heart quickens as he listens intently, his brain quickly registering the steps as Donnie, who always tried to be quick and quiet, but the creeks of the floor gave him away. He opens the door, beating Donnie to it, but is stopped by the sight of stray tears.

The soft-shell turned away, wiping away tears of embarrassment, and gently tugged on Donnie's sweater sleeve, Raph pulls him into a hug but decided to leave space in case it became too much. “You wanna talk about it, Dee?” The silence between them lasts until Donnie pulls himself away slightly in favor of signing. 'My brain is exacerbating the dinner scene. It's as if I can hear the blood, it's so disgusting- Leo picking on me before I came to you wasn't helping.'

If Raph had to guess, Leo is probably scared to, but the need to act as if he isn't causing the slider to deflect with jokes. ‘ You know how he is, always gotta be the brave one. Sleep with me? If you want. You’re always welcome too.’ He suggests, pushing the door open with a small grin in response to Donnie's nod. He was completely right about the movie being too much, but it wasn't the time to point fingers. They’re little, they don’t know any better.

Raph turns as Donnie climbs into his bed, hearing sniffles and Mikey's loud footsteps, which sounded identical to his own. The box turtle was by the doorway, and all it took was for the youngest to jump into the comfort was to leave his arms outstretched and open. “Aw the movie was scary, wasn’t it? Don't worry baby…Raphie’s here." Despite the youngest's recent claim to independence, it was good to be able to hold him tight like this. Raph places a kiss on Mikey's temple, becoming a little overwhelmed with emotion.

Mikey was the quickest to fall asleep, now basking in the presence of his brothers and Donnie's sleepy expression proves he is not that far behind. Still, Raph is alert and tries to ignore his own fatigue for Leo who hasn’t made his way towards his room, and no footsteps to be heard. He gets up, deciding to simply retrieve the slider himself, and makes his way down the hall quickly turning at the sound of the door creaking open.

They make brief eye contact before Leo quickly closes the door, "Go away Raph! I’m all right." The lie feels natural, but the tremors in his brother's voice upset him. Raph leans against the door, putting light pressure on the wood. “Leoo..” He softly hums his name, just like he used to when he was trying to convince Leo out of bed when they were little.

It works, just a little bit because he's able to see the red markings peeking through the crack in the door. Raph smiles wide enough that his snaggletooth appears and does it again for good luck, “Leoo..ruler of the stars.” He can hear the defeated giggle and pushes the door away in favor of scooping his brother up in his arms.

"I didn't mean to tease Don, just—I don't know... It made sense in my head," Leo confesses after a while. "I didn't want to be scared.” What Leo really implied was that he didn't want Donnie to be scared, which goes unsaid "It's okay if you're scared, Lee; I was too." The look of disbelief on his face causes laughter to bubble up in his throat, "It's true! Big brothers get terrified as well. Every time. But you know what really helps?" He starts walking back to his room, Leo by his side.

"I know that I got the moon, the stars, and the comets looking out for me.”

When they return, Donnie is still awake despite his exhaustion, and it's clear that the genius was awaiting them both. He easily slips out of Mikey's grasp, and Leo shuffles awkwardly but lets himself be dragged to bed by his twin, who fondly flicks his brow. Raph is mystified by the sight but decides to chalk it up to twin telepathy, despite Donnie's adamant denial.

The snapping turtle settles in last, the weight of his own anxiety keeping him from rest; he feels everything, and the hammering of his heart is certain to set him off. ‘My babies’ His heart cries out in fear, clinging to his sleeping brothers with a ferocity that, surprisingly, does not wake them. He’ll protect them, he will he swears it.

Fragments of emotion bind him, but it's as if the puzzle is damaged. The pieces don't quite fit, as well as tides of emotion that threaten to whisk him away squeeze at his heart. The love of a father inside the body of a brother.

The sensation evaporates almost as quickly as it emerged, and an unsteady inhale grounds him as his heart speaks again.

‘ My babies.’ Soft and fond this time, with a gentleness.

‘ My boys.’ His mind responds with a fuzzy warm feeling in his chest, and he unconsciously hugs his brothers tighter.

In the bliss of a memory, Raphael doesn’t even feel when his body hits the ground.

———

Donatello detests it when they separated, even though he sees the advantages; after all, one Kraang wouldn't be capable of pursuing them all in various directions. He knows Raph, they all do, and his altruistic brother always does something unsafe for their benefit, never his own. He'd just yelled at Leo for pulling the same stunt during one of their expeditions.

He supposes it was the pot calling the kettle black.

Still, their older brother hadn't arrived at the rendezvous point, causing Leo to worry, and Mikey's hopeful smile didn't last the walk back to the disintegrating building. The soft-shell is glad to have updated trackers on his brothers now more than ever (the apocalypse providing all sorts of technological advancement), but he tries not to focus on the fact that Raphael's tracker isn't moving.

Mikey is the first to notice him, tears streaming down his cheeks at the state of the snapping turtle, and he does his best not to rattle him awake, "Raph! Guys, he's not waking up-" Leo blanches with one look at his brother, quickly turning around and clutching the handles of his swords, his voice wavering, "Donnie, scan and do what you can, I'm going to teleport us back to base."

Protest feels ineffective because he knows Leo will have trouble opening the portal from the distance they were from the base, and they are all exhausted from the battle just moments before. Raph, on the other hand, doesn't have time for doubts, and a quick scan of his body tells Donnie what his heart already knows: 'Raph won't make it.’ Mikey covers his mouth and shakes his head in disbelief, implying that he said it aloud. The box turtle focuses his hands on his brother's plastron. "I'm going to heal him, I know I can do it!"

Even if stubbornness is an Hamato trait, Donnie is grateful for it right now.

Raph's eyes open slightly and turn to gaze at him while he watches Mikey's mystic energy surround their brother, and Donnie swears he will never insult the realm of mystic abilities again. He could see the strain on his hands and knows that Mikey is only buying them more time.

That is a terrifying thought.

'Keep him awake, keep him awake until Leo makes a portal,’. His brain prompts him to speak, but the words die on his tongue as Raph's gaze softens. "Hey, Dee... It's fine to cry, you know... You are always welcome to sleep with me." Donnie doesn't understand, clutching the snapping turtle's hand tightly and trying to keep the sobs from raging through his body, seeing how distant Raph's eyes appeared.

The magic comes to a halt with the youngest appearing to be on the verge of passing out and new cracks running from his fingertips and down his arms; Mikey cries against Raph's plastron, completely overcome with grief, but Raph remains reassuring. “Aw that movie was scary..wasn’t it? It's all right, Raphie is here." The crying intensifies, yet Mikey covers his mouth to quiet his sobs to no avail. Donnie activates his ninpo creating a shield to cover them as well as muffle their sounds; they deserve this moment without fear of being heard.

Raph’s expression becomes troubled, unable to see the slider next to him despite looking as far as he can, Donnie watches Leo’s ninpo barely flicker but he keeps trying, swinging his weapon in different directions and bitter determination in his gaze. His brother will not die. He can’t.

“Leo.”

“Look if Raph is trying to lecture me, tell him to save it for the base-“

“Leo,” Donnie repeated himself, burning rage in his gut because it's a waste of time to keep trying, Leo is wasting time, and Raph doesn't have much left. He has to lean in to hear whatever whispers his dying brother is uttering, but he tries regardless. "You know how he is...always the brave one." It rips his wrath apart, staring down at Raph and then back at Leo, taking in his twin's trembling stance with his tears soaking the ground underneath him. “Spirits, Donnie, why isn’t it working?! Why can’t I do this?”

Silence replied, mocking them for their failure, and Leo bristles in fury until Raph speaks, obviously, the lingering feeling of death is not enough to stop him from consoling his brothers. “Leo..” The snapping turtle hums in a familiar tone of childhood, coaxing and gentle, breaking Leo's heart even more as he shakes his head. "Leo…ruler of the stars.” Raph smiles, and all of his determination evaporates as the slider races to the eldest side, apologies and loving affirmations spilling through his lips. “Raphie...Raphie..” He calls out his brother's name fervently.

“It’s okay if you’re scared Lee. I am too..”Raph’s voice wavers, his eyes becoming less distant and far more clear than before, Donnie can feel the way he stiffens and feels his own heart drop.

“I don’t wanna go..”

Donnie clenches his teeth, knowing that his brother does not deserve this. Raph deserves life, the longest possible life with his brothers, and endless bliss that not even the spirits could bring. His mind rattles on and on, spiraling in his thought because for all his genius and intellect he can not give his brother the life he deserves.

‘You could give him rest?’ His heart suggests, his gaze now fixed on Raph's tears as the notion of dying dawned on him, the soft-shell recalling the distant look in his eyes just moments before. Donnie nods determined that he will be the one to provide his brother the rest he deserves rather than death.

"It's okay, Raph." Words start to freeze in his throat, but he presses on, even attempting to be reassuring as he smiles through the agony, cupping Raph's cheek, and trying not to shatter at the undivided attention. "It's fine if you want to sleep."

Mikey's eyes widen as he realizes what he's doing, but it doesn't quite register with Leo as he takes in Raph's look. The snapping turtle's brown eyes fluctuate as he walks the border between reality and the memory provided to him, but he lacks the strength to fight for awareness and slips back with ease. Donnie breathes a sigh of relief, ignoring Leo's intense glare but still grabs his twin's hand, "Need to make sure Leo and Mikey don't have any nightmares, plus Raph isn't exhausted."

It's difficult to determine which memory Raph is in because he's been caught so many times for warmth after a nightmare, but the argument was there on the tip of his tongue, childish and full of errors but it had worked between the two all the same. "Well, since you're half asleep and I'm wide awake, I'm the most awake older brother by default, so you have to listen to me."

He laughs and for a brief moment Donnie feels so much relief in the rumble of the snapping turtle’s chest, “That doesn’t make sense Dee…” He laughs wetly, even in memories, Raph’s fondness never fades. Donnie squeezes Leo’s hand tighter and rubs his thumb against the scars that decorated the eldest’s cheek, his own heart begs for some sort of release from the anguish still he persists for Raph.

“It makes perfect sense, Raphael! Who is the genius here? Me or you?” The way Raph’s eyes threaten to close makes his blood freeze, he watches his own hands tremble and feels how faint his brother’s heartbeat is. “You are..” Another laugh more quieter than the last, “Just a small nap, okay?”

“The smallest.”

“Wake me up later?”

Donnie's source of strength? He didn't have an answer, but he allowed the last words his brother ever hear to be a lie. "Of course, Raphie...I'll wake you up later," he says, even as he sobs, ignoring the way his skin is burning. He watches the lights of life leave Raph’s eyes, death claiming the snapping turtle and taking his last breath.

Their Sun dies right in his arms.

The world around them grew darker, time passed, and all Donnie could hear were Mikey's muffled screams. Comets collided with the Earth whenever the youngest smashed the surface below them in rage. Leo, spirits, appeared dead himself, expression blank despite the flood of tears and his fist over his chest as if grief was about to destroy him before collapsing into himself like a dying star. Donnie dreads leaving Raph's side, but he needs to because he cannot lose another brother in the span of seconds-

After all, it’s his job as the eldest now.

———

“Raph? Why are you still up?”

The soft-shell returned much later in the night with a glass of water; his glasses were off, so the time stamp was blurred, but he could make out the 2 in front as well as his brother's guilty grimace. “Hehe..just wanted to stay up. Make sure Leo and Mikey don’t have any nightmares, plus Raph isn’t tired.” The snapping turtle shrunk back as Donnie squinted, seeing how hard the eldest was fighting to keep his eyes open.

This would be the start of a very long road for the eldest, successfully creating an Atlas that would carry the world and let himself be crushed underneath it. It will eventually lead to his death.

But 10-year-old Donnie is unaware of this; all he knows is that his brother is growing as fast as they are and that he deserves to rest. He shuffles back on the bed, careful not to the others and crossing his arms, “Well theoretically speaking since you’re half asleep and I’m fully awake, I am the most awake older brother so. You have to listen to me.” Raph’s yawn gets interrupted by his own snort, his tired gaze filled with amused fondness.

“That doesn’t make sense, Dee.”

“It makes perfect sense, Raphael! Who is the genius here? Me or You?”

“You are..” The eldest retorts, sleep taking him by the minute, and he eventually gives in, "Just a small nap, okay?" The genius beams triumphantly at the praise and success, adjusting slightly to allow the other to lean against him, "The smallest. I'll wake you up later, okay?” With no response, he glances down, Raph already asleep and snoring, making Donnie quietly laugh.

The soft-shell whispers into his ear in a moment of intimacy soaked in moonlight.

“I may be the genius but you’ll always be our big brother.”

--------

UMMM I've had this idea for the longest time and writing this was horrible 3 days one trying to put my dreams into words. I've seen soo many different ways that Donnie and Raph have died in the bad future and I think the concepts are so interesting so I wanted to throw my own hat into the ring, a parallel I had yet to see in a Future Raph death is when he falls in the forest during the Shredder arc! It's such a pinnacle moment for Raph and I wanted to twist it on its head but also to focus a little on the eldest pipeline. Instead of Raph to Leo (because you know the whole leader stuff), I wanted a Donnie and Raph focus especially after seeing so much evidence that Donnie is in fact the oldest twin (though I don't think it's been declared canon). The burden of the eldest hehehe hoped you liked it!

#rottmnt raph #angst #rottmnt #rotmnt #donatello #raphael #leonardo #hurt/comfort #raph angst #raph and donnie #celestial #get ready to cry #gimme your tears

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