#avaa thoughts

[a-very-anxious-artist]

i think about your exes more than you do and that's good but how did you not know about me you claim to love me but nothing you do says that i want to know what she did its a sick sort of curiosity my greatest temptation in life i would have loved to be there when all of this was going down if i had stayed could i have made you like me from the beginning could we have been the childhood sweethearts? i would have loved a gentler version of you and you would have really liked my original personality im sure

[evilcharming18]

avanine - "Did he fuck you good?"

“Did he fuck you good?” She’s staring directly into Janine’s eyes as the woman grinds on Ava’s thighs.

Janine’s eyes go wide as she takes in Ava’s question. She doesn’t know how to answer that question because he was all she knew before him. She thought it was good, at least at the time but it didn’t compare to Ava.

No one compared to Ava.

She was capable of making her wet with just one look and currently, she was going to fall apart on her thigh. 

She opens her mouth to say yes but as soon as Ava’s thumbs trails over her nipple, she shook her head. 

“I need an answer,” Ava’s voice is somehow demanding and soft, her eyes staying on Janine as she pinches both of her nipples.

“No,” she gasps, moving her hips faster as she feels the knot in her stomach grow tight, “nothing like this,” she adds and when Ava smirks, she squeezed her legs tighter around her thigh.

“So…” Ava trails off as she releases her nipples and Janine whined.

“You’re the best,” it was muttered as she moved faster, her clit throbbing each time it went across her thigh. Avaa’s hands found her hips and stopped Janine’s movement. Janine looked at her again with a frown before she repeated herself, “You’re the best,” this time it was louder and Ava moved her hands, pulling Janine in for a kiss as the woman began to buck her hips again. 

“Good girl,” Ava murmured against her lips as the Janine came, her hands wrapped around Ava’s neck, keeping her in place, “He could never fuck you like I do,”

[elvaria-project]

Universal Tales- Recounting of the Helix, From the Words of Avaas(Altersae)

He of Entropy, of Sentience, and the creator of the Laws of Order. The catalyst to the creation of new Existences from inertia, from the nothingness of Nix.

My kin have long forgotten of Ulym, our forefather whose birth sparked the very first Existence. From it formed the concepts of a flow of time from which would mark the birth and death of universes and ends of cycles, a stabilized space for astral bodies to form upon, alternate universes and countless dimensions where life could be born, and of course, the essence of what is 'nothingness'.

With his birth did Nix first appear as the embodiment of the inertia before Ulym's entropy, then I as the embodiment of a universe branching into countless others, then Tilisnet as the embodiment of a Cycle taking motion, and ending with Seclir as the embodiment of a plane for creation.

When life first began to form in the very first Cycle, he gained twenty one strange 'eyes' that circled behind him, each of them starting closed.

The strange mortals foretold that when the day came where all of these 'eyes' would open, we would be obliterated and our existences reset to the time before even Ulym was born, an event that would come to be known as the Severance Unto Nihility.

We had all assumed it was nonsense, and as the many cycles passed, we simply watched as each 'eye' opened, paying no need and noticing no significant issues out of the norm.

By the ten thousand eight hundred seventh Cycle, though, nineteen 'eyes' had opened and Seclir would be the first to declare that the Existence of that Cycle had become unstable. Tilisnet would also take notice, and I myself saw as the space between universes and dimensions would shift and shatter with increasing frequency.

Ulym himself was becoming increasingly unstable as he began to cause excessive entropy, but he tried to assure us that this would be temporary and the next Cycle would return to how they were in the past.

When the next Cycle was born, it was not normal as we had thought it would be. The various worlds would shatter against each other and the space in between them unfurled and unraveled violently, the instability caused by this rippling across all of the Existence. Time would begin to fold onto itself and trap many lives into unbreakable loops until they went mad, and I bore witness to entire realms collapsing onto each other and universes locked from travel due to the instability causing all laws to disintegrate into utter chaos. Nothingness would bleed into the Existence and undo all the efforts of Tilisnet and Seclir, and neither Nix nor I could do more than observe how the uncontrolled entropy ravaged the living and metaphysical into nonexistence.

Ulym himself had not improved and had trapped himself into one of the locked universes, uttering complete madness as the 'pupils' of the 'eyes' would dart and glare into various dimensions and stare into my very being every time I had glimpsed into the locked universes. The time of the opening of the twentieth 'eye' was nigh, and we could not predict when the twenty first would open and bring forth the Severance Unto Nihility.

Tilisnet, Seclir, Nix, and I could no longer manage the damage uncontrolled entropy caused, and so we had resolved to take action against Ulym directly, something we had never conceived would ever occur.

By the time we had created our plan, more than half of the Existence was destroyed or irreversibly warped into unrecognizability.

Seclir and I would forcefully merge the locked universes and twist the remains of collapsed dimensions to create a 'sprout' that we tasked Tilisnet and Nix to 'plant' at the very start of the first Cycle, and this sprout would be further twisted by Tilisnet to create the beginning of the Helix of Undoing.

This 'seed' would be our final hope before the twentieth eye fully opened, the catalyst to create the direct opposite of the Laws of Order where time flowed backwards among many other strange Laws. This would become the essence of the Helix, where ends would come before beginnings and reality is no longer separate from the imaginary or unfathomable; where death comes before life and all things would be created before a nothingness could be born.

Whatever we could fathom in our Cycles would not apply in this parallel to the Laws of Order, and we pleaded to our very essence that Ulym would not break through the Helix of Undoing. 

As many Cycles passed since the sealing of Ulym, the mantle of the concept of Entropy has been passed to myself among my duties as the Watcher, though Seclir has long forgotten why I had assumed this role, and Tilisnet, who is the only other that remembers, has sealed himself away in the in-betweens of the High Realms since his Realm was destroyed.

Nix holds great malice towards us as he believes we had abandoned him, but he too has forgotten Ulym.

It is unlikely that Ulym will ever be unsealed, and by the time the Laws of Order undo themselves in a Cycle far from even my own perception, the Helix of Undoing will have run its course and the 'eyes' of Ulym will be closed once more.

This hope and the Helix are the sole things that grant me the strength to continue my duties...But I fear that when the day comes where the Laws of Order and the Helix of Undoing meet at the Point of creation and undoing, Ulym's and my kin and I's roles will be reversed, and we will be sealed in his steed as we, too, go mad.

May Ulym never again see the light of creation in the Laws of Order.

--------------------

Taglist for writing-

@aneci

If anyone else would like to join the taglist, feel free to DM me or send in an ask! I will also have a separate taglist for art posts.

[luxnebula]

I'm not studying today, but I'm listening to SUMMA (2018) anyway.

Sara throws us another curveball in regards to genre shifts. The synths from SOLUS have shifted away from the 80's synthpop to something darker and more dramatic and modern.

The opening track, Avaa se ovi, is a dramatic, attention-grasping piece that grabs you by the throat from the first beat and doesn't let you go until the song ends.

And the curveballs don't stop, the next song, Kohina, is a thoughtful and melancholic piece that calms you down after the drama from the first track.

My favourite track on this album has to be Valve because of the lyrics. The lyrics allude to some omnipresent, vague beast that preys on you in your room, in your mind, in your bed. It really resonates with me because it sounds like it could be an allegory for mental illness. It's easily one of my fave songs from Sara.

I also have to mention Tässä on tulevaisuus. The chorus is out of this world in that song! It's dramatic, it's dark, it has evocative lyrics with interesting imaginery. It's a really good song.

Ei me olla ainoita and Ethän vielä kuole are an incredible pair of songs to place right after each other. Ei me olla ainoita is the heaviest song on the album and Ethän vielä kuole is one of the lightest. The contrast between the two songs is incredible.

Anna voimia is also a great sound. It opens with a bright, soaring synth riff and continues to have beautiful vocals and the break in the middle with the distant eagle sounds. It's a downright gorgeous song.

The first time I listened to SUMMA, I thought that they had left the synths from SOLUS behind, but now that I listen to it more closely, I notice that the synths are still there, but way different than you'd expect from SOLUS. They're now darker, more integrated and harmonious in the classic, melodic and heavy Sara sound than they were in SOLUS. You could say that the synths in SUMMA are more mature than they were in SOLUS. It's like they were experimenting with synths in SOLUS and using the factory settings, but in SUMMA they've fiddle with the settings and learned to use them in a way that suits Sara more. This isn't to say that SOLUS is worse for it, I absolutely love the sound in SOLUS, like I said yesterday. It's very interesting and fun to hear Sara's sound shift and evolve.

Overall, SUMMA is an incredible album. I cannot overstate how good this album is. The songs are dark and dramatic, the lyrics are evocative and thought-provoking, the synths and the guitars work together beautifully. It should tell you something that I've added all except one track to my Sara faves playlist. This is a solid no-skip album, banger after banger after banger. If you like your music dark and dramatic, this is the album for you.

[flamethefox]

Here’s a character I’ve been working on for my first and upcoming show FeverDream. The character’s name is Avaa spelled with an added A!

It’s not finished but I thought I’d post it.

[ilygetou]

nerd! armin omg evelyn 🤭🤭 i love the way you think nerd! armin can breed me any day would love to be filled with his cum (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)

AVAA!! thank you omg (๑♡⌓♡๑)

AHH THE THOUGHT OF BEING BRED BY NERD! ARMIN DRIVES ME CRAZYY :( he's so hot :((

[head-under-water]

permanent damage; 1

2007, JUNE “We don’t keep secrets from one another, Harry. That’s not who are!” Ginny’s eyes are gleaming with anger, breathing slightly rapid. The usual shine from Harry’s beryl eyes is gone, and he doesn’t look up at his wife. He is frustrated, perhaps even a bit ashamed, but he did what he thought was right. “Gin, I can’t go running off to my wife every time we get potentially dangerous news! I think it’d drive the both of us mad. Do you know how many false death threats we get on a weekly basis?” Harry’s voice raises, but his temper (perhaps equally matched to hers) is tamed. The redhead shook her head, recently shortened strands of red hair swinging at the sides of her face. “You do when it comes to our family. This was different. I don’t press you on things you don’t want to talk about Harry, but this is a direct threat to us, to our kids. I could have helped earlier than now.” She hated that feeling, of being left out as if she didn’t have anything to contribute. It made her feel like she was a kid again, being told what she could and could not do. After all these years, how much more did she have to keep proving to the world that she was more than capable to handle herself? A freckled hand raises a folded piece of parchment, it’s clearly been opened, unfolded and stuffed in pockets for quite a while; faint tears and wears among the lettering. A bloody f***ing riddle that they had to solve or risk the endangerment of their children. “I had it under control, trust me.” Harry removes his glasses, rubbing his temples with his fingertips, sweeping them across his forehead to pinch the bridge of his nose. Long frame leans against his desk, looking more defeated than he’d ever care to admit. She does trust him, there no one else she trusted more in fact, yet this felt like too much of an oversight. It didn’t feel like he had it under control. Ginny understood the need for security, for caution, but she had the right to know if there were direct threats to her children. Her eyes glide over the paper again, consuming the words until she practically memorized them. This was directed at her, she could just feel it. The years have passed to such an age that a child born that day will begin at Hogwarts. Befitting that a child can begin learning magic now, that I wonder: what did they teach you? Flames lick your hair, with fiery eyes to match it. Permanent damage, my future with the others. Blasted into glass that day, I can’t get past...how did you possess such strength? I give you no names, but a warning to heed; I am after your future, no matter their age. Who am I? Ginny had repeated the words in her head for a while, worry evident on her face from the way her brow furrowed, lost in deep thought. The swell of her belly is large, the child inside almost the size of a pineapple. How long ago it seemed that they were just a mere sweetpea, too tiny to imagine, still surreal. Her heart was beating hard against her chest, and she lets out a sigh for relief. Harry is quiet, likely ruminating on the riddle, each wrinkle and tear of the parchment clearly visualized in his head. Gazes meet in silence and Harry eventually walks over to her, palm against her cheek, fingertips sweeping. Ginny closes her eyes, breathing settling in until finally, her lashes flutter open and bright eyes meet his. “I didn’t tell you because I wanted to keep you in the dark. Or because I don’t trust you, Ginny. You know that. I didn’t tell you because it seemed unnecessary until now. I’m sorry. I should have, but I didn’t want to stress you out until I was certain. I didn’t think much of it because we’ve gotten a few the last month, but then this one came...” His voice trails off, the end of his sentence remaining a mystery. It had been tossed aside for a while, into a bin of what appeared to meaningless threats to sort through. The letter was elegantly folded into an acid-green envelope with red calligraphy, and if you stared at it long enough, it seemed to glow. A fact that someone only noticed when they were working late hours and caught it in time. Ginny thanked Merlin it hadn’t been too long. Though she questioned the sorting capabilities of whoever thought to chuck it aside. The very elegance of the letter gave her chills. Its dark aesthetic was appealing, made by someone with finesse and opulent tastes. “I know, Harry. I’m sorry for losing my temper.” Harry’s presence was always rather calming for Ginny, he felt like home, and no matter how angry or upset she may have been, he could instantly wash it away, like waves from the sea erase footprints on the sand. “I’m staying here to help though. I’ll owl mum and let her know James and Albus will be staying longer. This is too important.” Hours passed, and many of the lights from desks were flickering off; Aurors calling it a night to get to their respective families. Ginny and Harry remained, talking over the riddle. “The first bit is rather obvious,” She says matter-of-factly. “Eleven years, so eleven years ago. That was when we all went to the Department of Mysteries.” She trails off, lost in her memory. Leaning back on her chair, she closes her eyes, hands instinctively on her belly, soothing herself. Permanent damage, my future with the others. Ginny rummages through the memories, so raveled with one another that they all seem to blur into one another. That was how most of the war seemed to feel. Each day seeped into the next, loneliness taking over, and all you could trust was your mind and even then sometimes it failed you. My future with the others… “Future with the others...that’s it, the prophecies!” Ginny said excitedly. “Who was all there, Harry? Who do we remember?” She’s racking her mind again, the memories suddenly drowning her. So many Death Eaters that night. They split off accidentally from the Prophecy Room, she, Ron and Luna. She remembered desperately shooting stunning spells in every direction she could muster. In the Space room, they were surrounded by at least five Death Eaters, though it was a dark and blurry memory, perhaps there had been more. Gravity felt different there, almost as if you could float. Ginny remembered thinking she wanted to be firm on the ground, clutching the air until she got her bearings. Soon there was a scream of spells. 1996, JUNE “Protego! Protego Maximus!” Ginny screamed loudly, blocking a few stunning spells from hitting the trio. Ron had a look to kill on his face. “Oi, you bloody death bat, that’s my sister!” She recalls him screaming, heart swelling with pride as her brother manages to stun a masked man closest to their left. They’re all back to back, though the gravity is difficult to maintain, and suddenly they’re floating away from one another, each battling an approaching Death Eater. Stuck between two Death Eater’s now, Ginny finds herself spinning in circles, head turning rapidly from side to side. One grabs a hold of her foot, pulling it so hard she feels the searing burn from her ankle, fibula bone cracking and ligament instantly snapping off from the talus bone. Ginny screams loudly from the pain. The Death Eater ahead of her is approaching, ready to end her by the cold voice of parting from lips. “Avaa--” “Do it now Mulciber!” Macnair screams at the other man. “REDUCTO!” She screams loudly towards his face, and the man is blown back from Impact. “LUNA!” Ginny screams as the other man tightens his grip, hoping to finish the job his friend fails to. Soon Luna’s calm voice screams, hitting Pluto with a reductor spell so hard it smashes the man’s face. Ron’s not too far away, though there’s an odd look to his face. Ginny’s trying to maintain calm. “Let’s get out of here--” “Harry, I think I know who it is.” She says snapping back into reality, the room suddenly feeling heavier as she returns from her dream-like state. “I blasted a Death Eater off me that night. I was stuck between two of them, and I used the reductor spell, and I was aiming for his chest, but the gravitational pull was different you see, and when the other pulled my ankle, it shifted my aim towards his face...he fell and hit a bunch of planets. It was after we smashed the prophecies and all got separated.” Her heart was racing, excited to be solving the riddle. “His future was lost...Harry, I ruined his face. ‘Permanent damage along with the others’, he means to say I ruined him the way those prophecies can’t be recovered. Now he’s after my future...our kids. Harry, we got to find him now.” Harry looked concerned at her words, and light seems to flash in his eyes as she's speaking. “It’s Mulciber.” They both say at the same time. “He got out of Azkaban somehow...imperiused a guard to let him go and to…” He swallows hard. “...Run off the prison onto the rocks below.”

[human-antithesis]

Enlightment (Totalselfhatred Cover)

Lyrics: Here I scream in agony, in loneliness and pain The world around forsaken me – my life has gone insane Here I scream in misery, frustration all around I can’t heal all the wounds they sliced – just can be myself

I cannot change your destiny, can only help you think As far as my horizons lead – your thoughts will be more deep Hope inside is torturing me – keeps painfully alive A light inside, a knowledge deep, that shines so bright!

Tartu käteeni ja livu kanssani autuuteen – avaa silmäsi uuteen kirkkauteen Kyyneleet valuvat silmistä luomettomista, Jotka valaistumisen tulet ovat siunanneet... siunanneet...

[veridescentrobits]

Tom Was Alone Too

I smashed my fist against the charred piece of metal, it was so burnt and brittle that it didn’t harm me at all, bursting into a million black shards that blended in with the sand below. A frustrated scream echoed around the valley. I could feel AvaA watching on, “If fucking Tom hadn’t been so fucking selfish I wouldn’t be here alone! I’d be here with mom! Fuck, I’d be here with him!”

“You would want to be here with Tom? The same Tom that tried to kill you?” she asked, voice flat, but I was starting to get better at hearing the questions in her robotic voice. 

“No!” I shouted, taking a deep breath and turning away, my arms coming up to my head then flailing away, “I mean yes, yes of course I would! Before he tried to kill ma and I he was just fine, he was loyal. That fucker had to go and ruin everything just for the slightest chance that he’d be better of! We would’ve been fine!” 

“You liked Tom before he tried to kill you?”

I looked back at AvAh, damn robot didn’t know when to stop asking questions, whoever programmed her consciousness could’ve at least programmed in some basic social awareness. But the question got me, and I found myself flopping down to the ground, sitting roughly in the sand, “Tom was family to me. The whole crew was. Hell, he was my uncle. You don’t just betray family.”

 “Tom was married to SayD.”

I thought it was a question again, “Yeah, fuck, get it straight and stop asking questions.” 

AvAh took a few seconds to answer. Something was going on in that series of zeroes and ones, she was thinking, putting something together, “Tom was the father of Jabe.” 

I didn’t say anything this time, just watched her think, the little fan inside her shell kicking on, sensors flicking back and forth.

“SayD and Jabe perished in the first and second blast. Tom was sad. Tom was alone. He malfunctioned because he was alone.” 

Slowly, I stood up. I looked back at the wreckage of the escape pod, then back at AvAh. I felt that boiling angry heat sneaking up inside of me, hot as the day of the blast. But I didn’t show it. I just looked straight at AvAh’s sensors, “Fuck you.” 

[roxydiabolica]

Magic and Despair

Magic and Despair investigates performative and complex sides of empathy. 

Magic and Despair investigates performative and complex sides of empathy. Moving in between subjective projection and the attempt to see the world through the eyes of another, Magic and Despair performs paradoxes, frictions and meetings of different kind in the shady, yet crucial area of human empathy. The work paves a way for a collective imagination and capacity to create more empathic futures. The performers shift attention inside the work with their gaze, breath, movement and speech, creating an extremely delicate yet dynamic space of performance. Vibrating out unspoken thoughts and physical materiality of the body, the performers travel though differences in between each other and the audience. They perform empathy which is directed towards inorganic and non-human subjects, building a composition of interrelations and interventions. Not all of the endeavours made for connections are successful - failure is an inherent part of Magic and Despair. The close proximity of the audience, seated on four sides around the stage, as well as the amplification and modification of the physical material with the technologies of light and sound are also central aspects of the work. Magic and Despair sets perception in motion in several levels, working through gaps in the human mind and body.

Premiere 10th May 2019

Language: English, duration 1 h

Choreography, direction: Maija Hirvanen

Performers: Lindon Satoru Shimizu, Maija Hirvanen

Lighting design: Heikki Paasonen

Sound design: Joonas Pehrsson

co-production: Kiasma Theatre, The Finnish Cultural Institute for the Benelux/GoCommission


collaborators/support: Kunstencentrum BUDA, Kortrijk, Belgium / Kunstencentrum Vooruit, Ghent, Belgium / Art Promotion Centre Finland

image: Kansallisgalleria / Pirje Mykkänen

........

Magic and Despair tarkastelee empatian performatiivisia ja monimutkaisia puolia. Teos liikkuu subjektiivisen projisoimisen ja maailman toisen silmin näkemisen yrityksen välillä. Magic and Despair esittää paradokseja, kitkoja ja erilaisia kohtaamisia valonaran mutta ihmiselle keskeisen empatian alueella. Esitys avaa taiteellisia reittejä kollektiiviseen kuvittelemiseen ja empaattisemman tulevaisuuden mahdollisuuteen. Esiintyjät siirtävät teoksen sisäistä huomiota katseen, hengityksen, liikkeen ja puheen kautta, luoden äärimmäisen herkän ja kuitenkin dynaamisen esitystilan. He värähtelevät ääneen sanomattomia ajatuksia ja ruumiin materiaalisuutta, matkustaen toistensa välisten ja yleisön kanssa olemassa olevien erojen läpi. He esittävät empatiaa, joka on suunnattu elottomia ja ei-inhimillisiä olentoja kohtaan, rakentaen erilaisten yhteyksien ja leikkisien interventioiden koreografiaa. Kaikki yritykset yhteyksien luomiseen eivät onnistu - myös epäonnistuminen on osa Magic and Despairia. Neljälle suunnalle, esitysalueen ympärille sijoittuvan yleisön kanssa muodostuva lähietäisyys ja teoksen fyysisen materiaalin vahvistaminen ja muokkaaminen valon ja äänen teknologioiden kautta ovat myös teoksen keskeisiä lähtökohtia. Magic and Despair asettaa havaintokyvyn liikkeeseen usealla tasolla, työskennellen ihmisen mielen ja kehon kuilujen ja aukkopaikkojen kanssa. Ensi-ilta pe 10.5.2019, 19:00 Kieli: Englanti, puhutun kielen määrä ei suuri Koreografia, ohjaus: Maija Hirvanen Esiintyjät: Lindon Satoru Shimizu, Maija Hirvanen Valosuunnittelu: Heikki Paasonen Äänisuunnittelu: Joonas Pehrsson Yhteistuotanto: Kiasma-teatteri, The Finnish Cultural Institute for the Benelux/GoCommission

Yhteistyössä/tukijat: Kunstencentrum BUDA, Kortrijk, Belgia / Kunstencentrum Vooruit, Ghent, Belgia / Taiteen edistämiskeskus

[a-very-anxious-artist]

My Cat

My cat is clingy but not cuddly. The most she’ll do is lay behind my legs when I sleep or lay on my chest as soon as I get home from work or school, but that’s it. When I first got her, she’d lay on her cat tree until I fell asleep and then she’d move to sleep on the bed with me, almost as if she didn’t want me to know that she wanted to sleep in bed with me. But now she does it as soon as she sees me winding down. My favorite think about her is when I wake up multiple times during the night (insomnia) and it’s cold and dark and I don’t know what time or year it is, I reach blindly into the depths of my covers and there she is, soft, warm, and welcoming. She “prrrbt”-s me as soon as I skim her fur, and then immediately rolls over to expose her tummy! I can feel her moving around, that’s how I know. She is such a gentle soul, and I’m so glad that I have her she’s so sweet to me.

[toukokuupariisittarena]

Plat du jour, eli toukokuu ranskalaista kirjallisuutta 8/31

“All great dees and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning.”

Albert Camus (The Myth of Sisyphus and Other Essays)

Albert Camus’n ensimmäinen ja tunnetuin romaani on Sivullinen (suom. Kalle Salo). 17-vuotias tyttäreni tarvitsi sitä kouluhommiinsa, joten romaani elää vielä vahvasti yli 70 vuotta ilmestymisensä jälkeen. Kirjassa on myös legendaarinen alku:

”Äiti kuoli tänään. Tai ehkä eilen.”

Sivullinen on hieno kirja. Vaikuttavaa filosofista ajattelua edustaa samoihin aikoihin kirjoitettu kirja The Myth of Sisyphus and Other Essays (engl. Justin O’Brien).

Tässä kirjassa Camus avaa oikeastaan taustoja Sivullinen -kirjan ajatteluun. Camus kuvaa elämää ja sen absurdiutta, kuolevaisuutta ja kaiken merkityksettömyyttä – ja myös ajatusta itsemurhasta tämän kaiken seurauksena. 1955 julkaistussa englanninkielisessä versiossa on esipuhe, jossa Camus valottaa filosofiansa taustoja: miksi on tärkeää pohtia elämän merkityksettömyyttä, absurdiutta.

Camus ei ole iloisinta mahdollista luettavaa ja kaikesta absurdiudesta voi saada päänsä sekaisin, mutta pidän pohdintoja silti merkityksellisinä. Eihän sen, että ei ole suurempaa merkitystä tarvitse olla synkkä ajatus.

“It was previously a question of finding out whether or not life had to have a meaning to be lived. It now becomes clear, on the contrary, that it will be lived all the better if it has no meaning. Living an experience, a particular fate, is accepting it fully.

Camus sai kirjallisuuden Nobelin vuonna 1957, puhe löytyy täältä. Hän kuoli vain kolme vuotta sen jälkeen 46-vuotiaana auto-onnettomuudessa.

Camus’n jalanjäljillä voi astella Pariisissa mm. näillä ohjeilla. Café de Floressa on vuosikymmenten aikana notkunut varmasti tuhansia wanna-be kirjailijoita imemässä tunnelmaa paikassa, jossa aikoinansa on istunut niin Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir, Hemingway kuin Camus. Tai wanna-be näyttelijöitä, jotka imevät 60-luvun tunnelmaa. Jos on uskomista Café de Floren omaan historian kertomukseen kahvila ei ole pelkkä tavisten turistikohde vaan kävijöihin kuuluu niin Sharon Stone, Robert de Niro kuin Quentin Tarantinokin. Jostain syystä istahtaessa siihen kahville kuitenkin tuntuu enemmän siltä kuin istuisi Disney-landissa kuin elävässä kahvilassa…

[elvaria-project]

Okay so I find this important to say in the context of the High Realms lore posts(and upcoming one for Boriasonde)

So A- This knowledge is limited only to the High Realms beings from each realm, and whatever they know is only as much that their creator lets them know. This is pretty irrelevant to Elvaria itself but there are some Tilemgians there, just very reduced in power and they hide out.

And B- You may draw your own conclusions as to who is in the wrong since it's all over the place canonically, but basically it boils down to:

Avaas thought Nix would be fine on his own, Tilisnet and Seclir agreed since they've all been existing for a long, long time and nothing really changes in each Cycle besides civilizations and regular things that don't matter too much in their eyes Nix took this the wrong way because he wasn't involved in the discussion so he thought he got abandoned and that the other three were trying to replace his nothingness with their somethingness to make him permanently disappear He basically made himself disappear and created Civalthax that would fuck shit up Inadvertently made Boriasonde collapse and that caused Tilisnet to disappear to who knows where His people, the Voiskanans, basically have a very skewed view of existence. Nix thinks destruction is how he can restore the old ways. The Voiskanans think destruction is how they'll continue to survive. Basically "everyone forgot about me so I'll make them remember" and "everyone is out to get me and I have to hit them first"

Seclir thinks Nix is just gone like Tilisnet Avaas doesn't want to admit that this was his fault Spaelculans think the same as Seclir because that's all they know too Altersaeans think the abyss is just a natural force because they were lied to by Avaas

Tilemgians though, they know what happened- or at least they remember the feeling of it. Even if their memories are slowly disappearing, their being remembers how it felt. They saw this coming but their memories are fading without their realm, so they cannot properly warn the others.

"The Darkness was once our brother, no longer is it right. This has spelt the end of Time, and the others will soon follow." This is the only message that has come out of the Tilemgians that were able to reach Seclir. He has spread these words to the Spaelculans to ensure this message would not be forgotten in case he were to suddenly disappear as well, but it is cryptic, and no one knows anymore what this was supposed to mean.

By the way this is an incredibly irrelevant note but if someone were to ever talk about the High Realms besides my echo chamber you can really use any pronoun for Tilisnet, Avaas, Seclir, and Nix, like he, she, they, it, xe, etc. The bunch of them are older than the concept of gender by a long shot and don't even look humanoid, I just use he for each of them so there's no struggle to differentiate they(singular, pronoun) and they(plural) when reading.

[henriettaiaaduncan]

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[tileyarded-blog]

TILEYARD EDUCATION IN CONVERSATION: PSI Audio

New Post has been published on http://tileyardeducation.co.uk/tileyard-education-conversation-psi-audio/

TILEYARD EDUCATION IN CONVERSATION: PSI Audio

PSI Audio have kitted out the Tileyard Education facility with a range of their top end speakers. Justin spoke to Tom Wilde from PSI to find out more.

Justin: Can you tell me a little about the history of PSI Audio?

Tom: “PSI used to make loudspeakers and very accurate PA speakers. Then they started making studio monitors but they decided that instead of making a monitor flattering in any way, they just thought we’ll make the right monitor, and that’s their ethos really. They control every aspect of production, from making their own tweeters, to assembling the speaker. Every single speaker goes through an anechoic chamber, so you actually get the certificate of approval. You get the frequency response of the speaker, and there is no compromise on quality.”

Justin: What are the current products you’re working with, do you have any new technology, or new designs?

Tom: “The speakers will use a lot very specific technologies, such as adaptive output impedance which makes a speaker able to deliver everything in the same way, it will slow the driver down so any note will sound exactly the same. Compensated phase response, so everything comes out at the same time, normally you get a speaker where the high frequency stuff comes out and then the low stuff comes out later, but here it’s all time aligned. They’ve always made speakers but recently developed a product called the AVAA which is essentially an active bass trap. So, you know in a studio when you set up a bass trap to trap the low frequency waves, they’re normally really wide and eat into the room, this is an active one, which you just put in the corner and switch on. It’s very advanced, the technology is patented and has been in development for about 15 years. Lots of the mastering guys use them, like Bob Katz.”

Justin: Can you tell me about the relationship with Tileyard Education?

Tom: “It was Nicolas from ‘Le Third Floor’ who first put us in touch because he based his new offices here, and he was just like, “PSI speakers are amazing, we need to get some in!”. So we tried them out against some other speakers in the new Tileyard Education studios, and they were like, “Wow, these sound absolutely great!” and they’ve got the Adams in there, and they’ve got the 21’s which are smaller, and they sounded better and bigger.”

Justin: So, it’s not necessarily what’s biggest is the best?

Tom: “Exactly, and PSI have perfected the art. Normally you’d expect a bigger speaker to have more low end and stuff but it’s quite often that you’ll put the little PSI speakers up and it’s like, wow, they sound absolutely amazing compared to the other ones.”

Justin: Does your range cover all studio sizes?

Tom: “Absolutely, for example the A14 which is a 14cm woofer, so they’re nice and small so you can carry them around for people on projects and that kind of thing. Then there’s the 17’s which they’ve got in all the small rooms at Tileyard Education, stick them in any room and they sound great, they’re your standard studio monitor and probably our biggest selling. The A21s are a bit bigger, you’d have to have a modest sized studio for those, and then the A25s which are the massive three-ways.”

Justin: What’s your main consumer group?

Tom: “Well, it used to be all the classical people because they needed something that was very accurate but recently we started getting more into the dance world and pop-rock, and everything else. PSI’s ethos is that we want to make the right speaker not the best sounding speaker, so to put it in very basic terms you want to turn an electrical signal into an acoustic signal in the most accurate way possible, so what you’re listening to is what’s actually there.”

Justin: Do you develop your speakers with producers and artists?

Tom: “The guys at PSI come from musical backgrounds but they are scientists at the end of the day. The reason they’re so surgical in terms of how accurate they are, is to then let the artist be creative. The artist can make the creative decision if they wanted to make it sound boomy or big. Otherwise if the speaker is doing that for you, there’s a lot of guesswork. They are scientists and that’s why people trust them.”

Justin: Has the way you’ve manufactured products changed over the years with new technologies?

Tom: “Yeah, so the A25 which is the biggest flagship monitor, they decided to make their own tweeters, which they make in-house. There are electro-magnets that drive the sound, and they’re so accurate that bridge manufacturers will take them and use them to measure bridges swinging in the wind, because they’re that accurate, and that’s the whole PSI thing, to use accurate technology.”

Justin: Do you feel that there are more and more music studios popping up, or are people starting to down-size?

Tom: “They are downsizing a bit I would say. They’re going from studios to bedroom studios where people are still doing freelance work but they’re wanting the best for their home. It’s not about getting the biggest monitors, it’s about getting what’s best for you.”

Justin: Do you think that Tileyard Education has a good set up for the students to work in?

Tom: “Absolutely. The main room sounds amazing, and I think it’s important for them to get to know PSI, they’re not as well known a brand but that’s what we want to change.”

Justin: What advice do you have for new students?

Tom: “Get in there as much as you can, and spend as much time with the speakers as possible. It’s not until you try other things, and reference other speakers that you can tell how different the PSI’s can be.”

Justin: Are there any famous examples of tracks that have been mixed on PSI speakers?

Tom: “More or less every record that goes through Toolroom, which is Mark Knight’s label. James Reynolds mixed a lot of big pop stuff like Little Mix, One Direction and Stereophonics – He mixes everything on PSI’s and he swears by them.”

Justin: Can you summarize PSI’s ethos?

Tom: “No compromise on quality, and making the right speaker for the application. These are speakers for serious people, for professionals, just like here at Tileyard where people need critical equipment.”

For more info and to see a full product list, go to: https://www.psiaudio.com

[a-very-anxious-artist]

I didn’t know I could feel like this

My boyfriend just left the state for college, like halfway across the country, and up until now I’ve been fine, like I don’t really think it sunk in until just recently because he was showing me his dorm room and I was just like “this is the love of my life, 16 hours away from me. In a. Different time zone.” And I started crying which also made me feel bad because he doesn’t need to put up with all of my crying he has his own junk he needs to get done.

But I feel like he will never understand just how much I love him because he is just so convinced that he loves me more like he always says “oh I love you to death” which is easy for him to say but I always turn it back on him and go “oh yeah but I love you to life” which means a lot more to me as someone who wasn’t planning on being alive this long ever. He’s not a huge gift person, more of a “my time is the most valuable thing I have to offer, so I will give you all of it.” but I’m a sentimental baby so I buy and give him little things all the time like a dog tag engraved with our way of saying I love you because we cannot be normal, or a framed Polaroid of us, and there’s a lil secret message on the back of the picture, but I know that dude is not taking the picture out from the frame, that’s not his style.

He can hold and squish my face and that’s okay because he is mine, and I can force him to dance with me as we walk and that’s okay because I am his. I can cry and we can apologize and we can talk and we can get stared at by everyone for just being two obnoxious teenagers in love but that’s okay. We can talk about our future and what we want for us and ourselves because as much as we are together, we have been separate for far longer and us independent of each other is just as important.

Loving him came easier than breathing. I settled right into his heart, as if I had always belonged there. He melted right into my mind, because I think that whatever is eternal in him, knows and recognizes whatever is eternal in me and that we have done this hundred maybe thousands of times.

We’re young, and will it hurt? Maybe.

We’ve both acknowledged that this just might hurt us and devastate us and break us more than we’re ready for. Loving him will change me in a way that is completely incomparable to anything else hit that’s okay. To love is to be changed, and to change is to have been having feelings.

I think I could easily love him forever, like the stars and the moon and the planets. Like the grass is green, the sky is blue, and we are together. I have loved and will love him forever, and that is the natural order of the world and how did I ever exist without him?