#ava silva my beloved

[confusedspaceotter]

[unicyclehippo]

still obsessed with the fact that this was ava’s life after death.. like. this was heaven. this was literally her heaven n her miracle bc she could do anything she wanted n life n play n explore the world n she chose she CHOSE to spend her afterlife loving other people loving her sisters loving mother superion loving beatrice loving hans loving the regulars at her bar loving the whole world enough to fight & die for them (whoops jesus motif) n giving up her heaven for them n im like i Gotta scream i gotta pass out like. ava…. Babe…. the most character of all time i love u so much

[trickarrows-bishop]

ava: FIGHT ME beatrice, mary, mother superion, and basically every sister warrior stood behind her, holding a knife, mouthing: DO. NOT.

[wingedsilva]

*shakes sprinkle can* they can have a little domesticity. as a treat.

[jamnsketch]

halo-bearer

[princington]

based off this post

[gold-dust-angel]

Hmm so it turns out many people consider Ava a bad protagonist and find her annoying??? And that the show is slow??? And that it endorses disability erasure???

I hardly ever fall in love with main leads especially 'the chosen one' types and yet Ava was so easy to get behind and even relatable and I love her so much. And god I wish the show was even slower and it had more episodes like I wanted to see the dynamics between the sisters in depth, Ava and Bea's relationship progressing, little lost moments, their quiet times, their training sessions, them joking around and being normal idk. It still went by too fast?

And I might be wrong here but to me it wasn't disability erasure. Ava's disability is very much a part of her throughout. It's why she spends half the season running away because she hasn't lived yet. It's why she can't give up the halo either. It's why she can't drain the halo too much or can't fight as good as other warrior nuns (minus not being trained yet of course). It's her deepest fear. And it is so fundamental to her and Bea's relationship too like Bea touching her after that fight with Crimson, Bea reassuring her, Bea understanding her fears and hesitance....her disability is a very much constant presence throughout the narrative even though under the surface and ahhhhh I want to scream so bad rn.

I'm straight up not having a good day today and then finding out about these shitty opinions about this beloved sunshine of a character—

Are people allowed to have opinions I don't agree with? Yes.

Do I want to hit them on the head with a stick despite? Also Yes.

Now I'm wondering am I biased because I've read way too many fics and post analysis' and therefore see more depth than there was? Does it even matter?

[corvophobia]

was commissioned by @lightsaroundyourvanity to draw a comic from @frenchsoda's gym fic as a christmas present!! read here!!

[principalinstigator]

ms ava silva being a fruity little firecracker, with very little self-control (figuratively and literally) just wanting to live her life is just so rare to see in a hero it makes me smile every time i think about it. this conflict with adriel and the war between heaven and earth? it's not her thing, it's just an inconvenience she needs to get past to live her best life with her gf preferably in a small town in switzerland

[wn-incorrect]

Beatrice: I know you’re making jokes about how attractive you are to hide your sadness.

Ava, crying: It’s not a joke, I’m a legit snack!

[confusedspaceotter]

Here’s a gif of Ava dancing coz she’s so🥺🥺🥺

[unicyclehippo]

Precognition Ava theory you say

technically it’s the “Ava & her relationship to absolute truth” theory & it isn’t PERFECT, i have to watch again while im thinking about it, but essentially it’s the theory that one of her passive halo abilities—because the halo is Consistently Active due to the fact that ya girl is dead—there is an ambient Truth that surrounds her. people are compelled to be truthful, people are more themselves, objects are elevated to being The Thing Itself, ava speaks & things follow according to what is said. consider: JC telling her about his mother; mary telling her about her mother; lilith being more prideful/driven than ever; beatrice coming out; the crown becoming The Crown; divinium lighting up; i want to go to the museum—we go to the museum; a bit on the nose—oh that’s Not what i meant; sister frances confession;

im sure there are more instances but that’s just off the top of my head & yes Of Course it’s narrative & character growth etc etc but just Imagine & enjoy

[trickarrows-bishop]

ava silva is such a dumbass in every single smau ive read and thats why i wanna marry her

[sevens-evan]

okay, so, 30 (tourist/knowledgeable local au) go go go

this turned into tourist/park ranger au and is heavily/entirely based on a hike i went on in arches national park years and years ago. slot canyons my beloved. please reblog if ya like it!

“Alright?”

“Great,” Ava says, trying not to look down into the canyon between her feet and the rest of the hiking trail. It’s maybe two feet wide and a long way down. Beatrice holds her hand out over the gap, and Ava takes it. She doesn’t even try not to enjoy the warmth of Beatrice’s hand or the callouses on her palm. Thirsting after her park ranger guide on a group hike definitely isn’t the highest point of Ava’s life, but it’s not the lowest, either, and she’s refusing to feel shame about it. It’s not her fault that Beatrice somehow makes a park ranger uniform look good. It should be impossible, between the pleated trousers and the baggy grey shirt and the stupid, stupid, stupid hat, but Ranger Beatrice is doing it. Ava has been at the front of the pack through the whole hike, throwing in an occasional glance at the shape of Beatrice’s arms beneath the short sleeves of her shirt amongst the views of slot canyons and rocky vistas.

“Ma’am?”

Ava blinks. She’s still holding onto Beatrice’s hand, and has yet to take the step over the canyon before her.

“Ava,” Ava says. “Ma’am was my mother.” She makes a face. What did she just say?

“Ava,” Beatrice says. Oh, Ava likes that. She really likes that, the way Beatrice’s accent turns over the second a in her name. “Just one step. The more you look down the worse it seems.”

“For sure.” Ava decides to let Beatrice think she’s afraid of heights. At least for now. She’s getting, like, major gay vibes, so maybe she can correct that misunderstanding at a later date.

Ava takes the step.

“One small step for Ava, right?” Ava says, looking up from her hiking boots to grin at Beatrice. Beatrice smiles back at her, which is just—devastating. Ava will never be the same.

“One giant leap for Ava-kind,” Beatrice agrees. She squeezes Ava’s hand before she lets it go, and Ava has to clench her jaw shut to keep from doing something embarrassing like asking her to do it again. Or moaning.

They follow the trail as a group as it narrows between two rock walls, then widens again, letting them out into a sort of split in the side of the solid rock hill, rock faces soaring a dozen feet high on either side of them. It affords them an incredible view of the desert out beneath them, sand and rocks and hills. Beatrice stops near the far end of the open space, turning and waiting as the hiking tour group files in behind her.

“Everyone doing alright?” Beatrice says. Ava watches as she does a quick headcount, following along with the numbers Beatrice mouths. If that involves staring at her lips, well, Beatrice probably can’t tell. Beatrice nods a moment later, apparently satisfied with the number of hikers gathered before her.

“This is my favorite spot in the entire park,” Beatrice says. “If you’ll all entertain it a moment, I’d like to tell you why.”

“Go for it,” Ava says. She’s the only person in the group to speak aloud. Beatrice glances at her, and Ava refuses to be embarrassed, offering an encouraging grin.

“Well, if Ava approves,” Beatrice says with a smile. She reaches up and takes off her hat. Several strands of brown hair have escaped their neat bun, and she brushes them back with one hand while the other holds her hat against her side. “My first summer in the park, I was cleaning cabins. I graduated college and lost contact with my entire family not long afterwards. It was a very difficult and confusing time in my life. I thought that I had made a mistake in coming to the US. I thought that I had made a mistake by coming here. I thought that I was in the wrong, that it was my fault somehow that my parents weren’t accepting of me. That it was my fault I was different.”

Gay, gay, super gay, totally gay. Ava agrees with the voice in her head and then tells it to shut up. There’s a rehearsed quality to Beatrice’s voice—Ava suspects she gives this speech on every one of these hikes—but there’s something genuine in it, too, and Ava wants to listen.

“One day towards the end of July—the hottest day I’d ever experienced up til then, being from England,” Beatrice says, “a friend I’d made, a ranger, took me up here. She sat me down and told me to talk to the desert, and ask it if I’d made a mistake. And then she went back up the canyon to give me some privacy. I sat here for ten minutes before I finally did it. The desert did not answer.” A ripple of quiet laughter goes around the group. Ava doesn’t join in. She’s transfixed by the look on Beatrice’s face, a little half-smile that Ava wants to stare at forever. “But on the hike back out I found a tarantula on my backpack.”

“And that made you want to stay?” Ava says. Beatrice glances at her.

“The tarantulas are a very important part of the ecosystem, Ava,” Beatrice says. Ava shuts her mouth and busies herself with the lid of her water bottle. “But yes, it did. It felt like…the desert was calling me stupid for even asking. What does a bunch of sand and rock care if I’m here or not? Have a spider for your troubles, you idiot.” More laughter, and Beatrice laughs quietly at herself this time. “But the people do care. My friend cared to take me here and show me all that sand and rock. And I care to show it to all of you. It’s my job, yes, but it’s only my job because it matters to me. And I hope that it matters to all of you.” She takes a deep breath and puts her hat back on.

“So,” she says. “On the way down the hill, if you want to, I hope that you’ll all ask the desert a question. Doesn’t have to be out loud, don’t worry. The sand won’t hear you either way. And I can’t promise you a tarantula, although some of you may be grateful for that”—no fucking kidding—“but I can promise that the desert won’t answer. And I can promise that that will be more comforting than it sounds.” Beatrice pauses for a moment. Ava might be in love with her. “Are we all ready to start?” There’s a general murmur of assent, and Beatrice turns away from the group, leading them towards the trail out of the split in the rock and down the hill. Ava hurries to catch up to her.

“So,” she says as she draws up shoulder-to-shoulder to Beatrice. Beatrice looks over at her. “Quite the story.”

“I suppose.”

“All true?”

“Of course.” Beatrice shakes her head slightly, amused and scandalized by the idea of lying.

“Got any more stories you’d like to share?” Ava says. “Maybe over a beer or something?” Beatrice is silent for long enough that Ava’s rapid, anticipatory heartbeat turns worried and even faster. “That can be my question for the desert,” Ava says. “If you want. Don’t want. Whatever.”

“Asking the desert to have a drink with you,” Beatrice says. “How unconventional.” Ava shrugs.

“I’m not really the conventional type.”

“No?” Ava shakes her head. Beatrice looks down the trail. “I’m done for the day after this tour,” she says. “There’s not many bars worth visiting around here, but if you’d like to come by my cabin, I make an acceptable gin and tonic.”

“High praise,” Ava says. “There’s literally two things in that drink.”

“Three,” Beatrice says. “There’s lime.” She pauses. “Four. And ice.”

“Sold on the ice,” Ava says. “How the fuck do you do this hike in July?” Beatrice laughs, a sharp, abrupt noise, like it’s been startled out of her. Ava’s hands clench into fists at her sides, trying to catch it in her fingertips.

“You get used to it,” Beatrice says. “Now watch where you’re going. You’ve been missing all the views staring at me.” Ava flushes pink at being caught, but she obeys, turning her head and watching the desert stretch out before her.

[wordsmith30]

I am once again fixating on Avatrice’s first scene in season two.

Beatrice tells Ava off for chatting with customers because they were talking about Adriel and what happened at the Vatican. They’re supposed to be keeping a low profile.

If anything, being incognito only makes things all the more stressful for Beatrice. Eternally in Mission Mode, she’s hyperaware of everything going on around her, from the conversation in the bar to Hans coming up the stairs and looking at her and Ava. There’s so much pressure on her.

At least when they were with the OCS, she had the others to rely on, but in Switzerland, she’s responsible for anything that goes wrong, including anything that might happen to Ava. While Ava jokingly calls her “Mother”, it is like being a single parent. She just wants to keep her safe.

And hearing about Adriel’s ever-increasing presence is just a painful reminder of how unsafe they are. How important this mission is.

Beatrice also tends to fidget a lot more this season with anything that’s in her hand (in this case, the pencil). She gestures with it after Hans leaves, asking Ava what that look meant.

“You and Hans shared a glance.”

(Cue back to Lilith’s line in 1×04: “Careful around this one, Camila. She’ll pry into all your business.”)

We can insinuate it as jealousy as she’s become super protective of Ava (or perhaps just the fear that something is going on that she’s not aware of), but in Ava’s mind, Hans is jealous of them. Ava laughs.

“What do you expect? Hans has been here for three years. We’ve been here a month and you already got promoted to manager.”

Beatrice fidgets some more and even straightens her back as she says, “Well ... it’s not my fault that I’m exceptionally well-organized.”

Did I mention how much I love proud Beatrice? It may come across as a bit defensive, but outside of her being a badass in the field, it’s so rare to see her stand tall in her abilities – to take pride in them, in spite of all her self-hatred. She’s good at what she does and she should say it.

And then Ava knocks back with: “Ah, as a matter of fact, it is. Discreet, remember?”

Touché.

Beatrice bows her head and nods. You can see the breath she releases. But before she even has the time to feel awkward or embarrassed, Ava says in that gentle voice, “You don’t have to be so perfect all the time.”

Once again, Ava demonstrates exactly why they work together. While Beatrice often works to keep Ava safe physically, Ava knows just how to keep Bea safe emotionally. Despite all the teasing, she knows how Beatrice worries and steps in to calm her racing mind.

She does it as easily as breathing, head angled to look into Beatrice’s face, eyes soft and posture relaxed. And Beatrice softens with her.

That line hits on some key insights, too: the idea that it’s possible to be too good at something, and that that might actually hinder them while undercover. But more than that, it’s a reminder that they’re not at the convent anymore. Beatrice can drop the tactical habit. She can be unsure, she can make mistakes, she doesn’t have to know what she’s doing all the time. She’s already doing enough.

“You don’t have to be so perfect all the time.”

Ava thinks she’s perfect. Her. Beatrice. Just as she is.

It seems too much for Beatrice to handle. She looks up at Ava and then looks down again. At a loss for how to respond, she changes the subject: “Well, I’m heading back to the apartment.”

It’s Ava’s turn to deflate a little as she nods, but her eyes hang on Beatrice’s face as Bea tells her that she’s going to check in with Camila.

“You don’t stay out too late,” Beatrice says, back in Mission Mode. “We train tomorrow.”

“Yes, Mother.” Ava laughs again, and even Beatrice drops her head in amusement or exasperation, still fiddling with her pencil.

She looks up just in time for Ava to give her a quick peck on the cheek, the Warrior Nun swinging her shoulders like a golden retriever puppy. “I’m just messing with you. See you at home!”

Beatrice can only watch her bounce away and has to take another breath to steady herself. Ava, meanwhile, knew exactly what she was doing and can only hope that the message sticks.

[weirdgirlbutch]

ava + healing on screen