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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 years ago

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Autoenshittification

Forget F1: the only car race that matters now is the race to turn your car into a digital extraction machine, a high-speed inkjet printer on wheels, stealing your private data as it picks your pocket. Your car’s digital infrastructure is a costly, dangerous nightmare — but for automakers in pursuit of postcapitalist utopia, it’s a dream they can’t give up on.

Your car is stuffed full of microchips, a fact the world came to appreciate after the pandemic struck and auto production ground to a halt due to chip shortages. Of course, that wasn’t the whole story: when the pandemic started, the automakers panicked and canceled their chip orders, only to immediately regret that decision and place new orders.

But it was too late: semiconductor production had taken a serious body-blow, and when Big Car placed its new chip orders, it went to the back of a long, slow-moving line. It was a catastrophic bungle: microchips are so integral to car production that a car is basically a computer network on wheels that you stick your fragile human body into and pray.

The car manufacturers got so desperate for chips that they started buying up washing machines for the microchips in them, extracting the chips and discarding the washing machines like some absurdo-dystopian cyberpunk walnut-shelling machine:

https://www.autoevolution.com/news/desperate-times-companies-buy-washing-machines-just-to-rip-out-the-chips-187033.html

These digital systems are a huge problem for the car companies. They are the underlying cause of a precipitous decline in car quality. From touch-based digital door-locks to networked sensors and cameras, every digital system in your car is a source of endless repair nightmares, costly recalls and cybersecurity vulnerabilities:

https://www.reuters.com/business/autos-transportation/quality-new-vehicles-us-declining-more-tech-use-study-shows-2023-06-22/

What’s more, drivers hate all the digital bullshit, from the janky touchscreens to the shitty, wildly insecure apps. Digital systems are drivers’ most significant point of dissatisfaction with the automakers’ products:

https://www.theverge.com/23801545/car-infotainment-customer-satisifaction-survey-jd-power

Even the automakers sorta-kinda admit that this is a problem. Back in 2020 when Massachusetts was having a Right-to-Repair ballot initiative, Big Car ran these unfuckingbelievable scare ads that basically said, “Your car spies on you so comprehensively that giving anyone else access to its systems will let murderers stalk you to your home and kill you:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/03/rip-david-graeber/#rolling-surveillance-platforms

But even amid all the complaining about cars getting stuck in the Internet of Shit, there’s still not much discussion of why the car-makers are making their products less attractive, less reliable, less safe, and less resilient by stuffing them full of microchips. Are car execs just the latest generation of rubes who’ve been suckered by Silicon Valley bullshit and convinced that apps are a magic path to profitability?

Nope. Car execs are sophisticated businesspeople, and they’re surfing capitalism’s latest — and last — hot trend: dismantling capitalism itself.

Now, leftists have been predicting the death of capitalism since The Communist Manifesto, but even Marx and Engels warned us not to get too frisky: capitalism, they wrote, is endlessly creative, constantly reinventing itself, re-emerging from each crisis in a new form that is perfectly adapted to the post-crisis reality:

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/31/books/review/a-spectre-haunting-china-mieville.html

But capitalism has finally run out of gas. In his forthcoming book, Techno Feudalism: What Killed Capitalism, Yanis Varoufakis proposes that capitalism has died — but it wasn’t replaced by socialism. Rather, capitalism has given way to feudalism:

https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/451795/technofeudalism-by-varoufakis-yanis/9781847927279

Under capitalism, capital is the prime mover. The people who own and mobilize capital — the capitalists — organize the economy and take the lion’s share of its returns. But it wasn’t always this way: for hundreds of years, European civilization was dominated by rents, not markets.

A “rent” is income that you get from owning something that other people need to produce value. Think of renting out a house you own: not only do you get paid when someone pays you to live there, you also get the benefit of rising property values, which are the result of the work that all the other homeowners, business owners, and residents do to make the neighborhood more valuable.

The first capitalists hated rent. They wanted to replace the “passive income” that landowners got from taxing their serfs’ harvest with active income from enclosing those lands and grazing sheep in order to get wool to feed to the new textile mills. They wanted active income — and lots of it.

Capitalist philosophers railed against rent. The “free market” of Adam Smith wasn’t a market that was free from regulation — it was a market free from rents. The reason Smith railed against monopolists is because he (correctly) understood that once a monopoly emerged, it would become a chokepoint through which a rentier could cream off the profits he considered the capitalist’s due:

https://locusmag.com/2021/03/cory-doctorow-free-markets/

Today, we live in a rentier’s paradise. People don’t aspire to create value — they aspire to capture it. In Survival of the Richest, Doug Rushkoff calls this “going meta”: don’t provide a service, just figure out a way to interpose yourself between the provider and the customer:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/09/13/collapse-porn/#collapse-porn

Don’t drive a cab, create Uber and extract value from every driver and rider. Better still: don’t found Uber, invest in Uber options and extract value from the people who invest in Uber. Even better, invest in derivatives of Uber options and extract value from people extracting value from people investing in Uber, who extract value from drivers and riders. Go meta.

This is your brain on the four-hour-work-week, passive income mind-virus. In Techno Feudalism, Varoufakis deftly describes how the new “Cloud Capital” has created a new generation of rentiers, and how they have become the richest, most powerful people in human history.

Shopping at Amazon is like visiting a bustling city center full of stores — but each of those stores’ owners has to pay the majority of every sale to a feudal landlord, Emperor Jeff Bezos, who also decides which goods they can sell and where they must appear on the shelves. Amazon is full of capitalists, but it is not a capitalist enterprise. It’s a feudal one:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/28/enshittification/#relentless-payola

This is the reason that automakers are willing to enshittify their products so comprehensively: they were one of the first industries to decouple rents from profits. Recall that the reason that Big Car needed billions in bailouts in 2008 is that they’d reinvented themselves as loan-sharks who incidentally made cars, lending money to car-buyers and then “securitizing” the loans so they could be traded in the capital markets.

Even though this strategy brought the car companies to the brink of ruin, it paid off in the long run. The car makers got billions in public money, paid their execs massive bonuses, gave billions to shareholders in buybacks and dividends, smashed their unions, fucked their pensioned workers, and shipped jobs anywhere they could pollute and murder their workforce with impunity.

Car companies are on the forefront of postcapitalism, and they understand that digital is the key to rent-extraction. Remember when BMW announced that it was going to rent you the seatwarmer in your own fucking car?

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/02/big-river/#beemers

Not to be outdone, Mercedes announced that they were going to rent you your car’s accelerator pedal, charging an extra $1200/year to unlock a fully functional acceleration curve:

https://www.theverge.com/2022/11/23/23474969/mercedes-car-subscription-faster-acceleration-feature-price

This is the urinary tract infection business model: without digitization, all your car’s value flowed in a healthy stream. But once the car-makers add semiconductors, each one of those features comes out in a painful, burning dribble, with every button on that fakakta touchscreen wired directly into your credit-card.

But it’s just for starters. Computers are malleable. The only computer we know how to make is the Turing Complete Von Neumann Machine, which can run every program we know how to write. Once they add networked computers to your car, the Car Lords can endlessly twiddle the knobs on the back end, finding new ways to extract value from you:

https://doctorow.medium.com/twiddler-1b5c9690cce6

That means that your car can track your every movement, and sell your location data to anyone and everyone, from marketers to bounty-hunters looking to collect fees for tracking down people who travel out of state for abortions to cops to foreign spies:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/n7enex/tool-shows-if-car-selling-data-privacy4cars-vehicle-privacy-report

Digitization supercharges financialization. It lets car-makers offer subprime auto-loans to desperate, poor people and then killswitch their cars if they miss a payment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4U2eDJnwz_s

Subprime lending for cars would be a terrible business without computers, but digitization makes it a great source of feudal rents. Car dealers can originate loans to people with teaser rates that quickly blow up into payments the dealer knows their customer can’t afford. Then they repo the car and sell it to another desperate person, and another, and another:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/07/27/boricua/#looking-for-the-joke-with-a-microscope

Digitization also opens up more exotic options. Some subprime cars have secondary control systems wired into their entertainment system: miss a payment and your car radio flips to full volume and bellows an unstoppable, unmutable stream of threats. Tesla does one better: your car will lock and immobilize itself, then blare its horn and back out of its parking spot when the repo man arrives:

https://tiremeetsroad.com/2021/03/18/tesla-allegedly-remotely-unlocks-model-3-owners-car-uses-smart-summon-to-help-repo-agent/

Digital feudalism hasn’t stopped innovating — it’s just stopped innovating good things. The digital device is an endless source of sadistic novelties, like the cellphones that disable your most-used app the first day you’re late on a payment, then work their way down the other apps you rely on for every day you’re late:

https://restofworld.org/2021/loans-that-hijack-your-phone-are-coming-to-india/

Usurers have always relied on this kind of imaginative intimidation. The loan-shark’s arm-breaker knows you’re never going to get off the hook; his goal is in intimidating you into paying his boss first, liquidating your house and your kid’s college fund and your wedding ring before you default and he throws you off a building.

Thanks to the malleability of computerized systems, digital arm-breakers have an endless array of options they can deploy to motivate you into paying them first, no matter what it costs you:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/02/innovation-unlocks-markets/#digital-arm-breakers

Car-makers are trailblazers in imaginative rent-extraction. Take VIN-locking: this is the practice of adding cheap microchips to engine components that communicate with the car’s overall network. After a new part is installed in your car, your car’s computer does a complex cryptographic handshake with the part that requires an unlock code provided by an authorized technician. If the code isn’t entered, the car refuses to use that part.

VIN-locking has exploded in popularity. It’s in your iPhone, preventing you from using refurb or third-party replacement parts:

https://doctorow.medium.com/apples-cement-overshoes-329856288d13

It’s in fuckin’ ventilators, which was a nightmare during lockdown as hospital techs nursed their precious ventilators along by swapping parts from dead systems into serviceable ones:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/3azv9b/why-repair-techs-are-hacking-ventilators-with-diy-dongles-from-poland

And of course, it’s in tractors, along with other forms of remote killswitch. Remember that feelgood story about John Deere bricking the looted Ukrainian tractors whose snitch-chips showed they’d been relocated to Russia?

https://doctorow.medium.com/about-those-kill-switched-ukrainian-tractors-bc93f471b9c8

That wasn’t a happy story — it was a cautionary tale. After all, John Deere now controls the majority of the world’s agricultural future, and they’ve boobytrapped those ubiquitous tractors with killswitches that can be activated by anyone who hacks, takes over, or suborns Deere or its dealerships.

Control over repair isn’t limited to gouging customers on parts and service. When a company gets to decide whether your device can be fixed, it can fuck you over in all kinds of ways. Back in 2019, Tim Apple told his shareholders to expect lower revenues because people were opting to fix their phones rather than replace them:

https://www.apple.com/newsroom/2019/01/letter-from-tim-cook-to-apple-investors/

By usurping your right to decide who fixes your phone, Apple gets to decide whether you can fix it, or whether you must replace it. Problem solved — and not just for Apple, but for car makers, tractor makers, ventilator makers and more. Apple leads on this, even ahead of Big Car, pioneering a “recycling” program that sees trade-in phones shredded so they can’t possibly be diverted from an e-waste dump and mined for parts:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/yp73jw/apple-recycling-iphones-macbooks

John Deere isn’t sleeping on this. They’ve come up with a valuable treasure they extract when they win the Right-to-Repair: Deere singles out farmers who complain about its policies and refuses to repair their tractors, stranding them with six-figure, two-ton paperweight:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/31/dealers-choice/#be-a-shame-if-something-were-to-happen-to-it

The repair wars are just a skirmish in a vast, invisible fight that’s been waged for decades: the War On General-Purpose Computing, where tech companies use the law to make it illegal for you to reconfigure your devices so they serve you, rather than their shareholders:

https://memex.craphound.com/2012/01/10/lockdown-the-coming-war-on-general-purpose-computing/

The force behind this army is vast and grows larger every day. General purpose computers are antithetical to technofeudalism — all the rents extracted by technofeudalists would go away if others (tinkereres, co-ops, even capitalists!) were allowed to reconfigure our devices so they serve us.

You’ve probably noticed the skirmishes with inkjet printer makers, who can only force you to buy their ink at 20,000% markups if they can stop you from deciding how your printer is configured:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/07/inky-wretches/#epson-salty But we’re also fighting against insulin pump makers, who want to turn people with diabetes into walking inkjet printers:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/10/loopers/#hp-ification

And companies that make powered wheelchairs:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/08/chair-ish/#r2r

These companies start with people who have the least agency and social power and wreck their lives, then work their way up the privilege gradient, coming for everyone else. It’s called the “shitty technology adoption curve”:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/21/great-taylors-ghost/#solidarity-or-bust

Technofeudalism is the public-private-partnership from hell, emerging from a combination of state and private action. On the one hand, bailing out bankers and big business (rather than workers) after the 2008 crash and the covid lockdown decoupled income from profits. Companies spent billions more than they earned were still wildly profitable, thanks to those public funds.

But there’s also a policy dimension here. Some of those rentiers’ billions were mobilized to both deconstruct antitrust law (allowing bigger and bigger companies and cartels) and to expand “IP” law, turning “IP” into a toolsuite for controlling the conduct of a firm’s competitors, critics and customers:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

IP is key to understanding the rise of technofeudalism. The same malleability that allows companies to “twiddle” the knobs on their services and keep us on the hook as they reel us in would hypothetically allow us to countertwiddle, seizing the means of computation:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

The thing that stands between you and an alternative app store, an interoperable social media network that you can escape to while continuing to message the friends you left behind, or a car that anyone can fix or unlock features for is IP, not technology. Under capitalism, that technology would already exist, because capitalists have no loyalty to one another and view each other’s margins as their own opportunities.

But under technofeudalism, control comes from rents (owning things), not profits (selling things). The capitalist who wants to participate in your iPhone’s “ecosystem” has to make apps and submit them to Apple, along with 30% of their lifetime revenues — they don’t get to sell you jailbreaking kit that lets you choose their app store.

Rent-seeking technology has a holy grail: control over “ring zero” — the ability to compel you to configure your computer to a feudalist’s specifications, and to verify that you haven’t altered your computer after it came into your possession:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/30/ring-minus-one/#drm-political-economy

For more than two decades, various would-be feudal lords and their court sorcerers have been pitching ways of doing this, of varying degrees of outlandishness.

At core, here’s what they envision: inside your computer, they will nest another computer, one that is designed to run a very simple set of programs, none of which can be altered once it leaves the factory. This computer — either a whole separate chip called a “Trusted Platform Module” or a region of your main processor called a secure enclave — can tally observations about your computer: which operating system, modules and programs it’s running.

Then it can cryptographically “sign” these observations, proving that they were made by a secure chip and not by something you could have modified. Then you can send this signed “attestation” to someone else, who can use it to determine how your computer is configured and thus whether to trust it. This is called “remote attestation.”

There are some cool things you can do with remote attestation: for example, two strangers playing a networked video game together can use attestations to make sure neither is running any cheat modules. Or you could require your cloud computing provider to use attestations that they aren’t stealing your data from the server you’re renting. Or if you suspect that your computer has been infected with malware, you can connect to someone else and send them an attestation that they can use to figure out whether you should trust it.

Today, there’s a cool remote attestation technology called “PrivacyPass” that replaces CAPTCHAs by having you prove to your own device that you are a human. When a server wants to make sure you’re a person, it sends a random number to your device, which signs that number along with its promise that it is acting on behalf of a human being, and sends it back. CAPTCHAs are all kinds of bad — bad for accessibility and privacy — and this is really great.

But the billions that have been thrown at remote attestation over the decades is only incidentally about solving CAPTCHAs or verifying your cloud server. The holy grail here is being able to make sure that you’re not running an ad-blocker. It’s being able to remotely verify that you haven’t disabled the bossware your employer requires. It’s the power to block someone from opening an Office365 doc with LibreOffice. It’s your boss’s ability to ensure that you haven’t modified your messaging client to disable disappearing messages before he sends you an auto-destructing memo ordering you to break the law.

And there’s a new remote attestation technology making the rounds: Google’s Web Environment Integrity, which will leverage Google’s dominance over browsers to allow websites to block users who run ad-blockers:

https://github.com/RupertBenWiser/Web-Environment-Integrity

There’s plenty else WEI can do (it would make detecting ad-fraud much easier), but for every legitimate use, there are a hundred ways this could be abused. It’s a technology purpose-built to allow rent extraction by stripping us of our right to technological self-determination.

Releasing a technology like this into a world where companies are willing to make their products less reliable, less attractive, less safe and less resilient in pursuit of rents is incredibly reckless and shortsighted. You want unauthorized bread? This is how you get Unauthorized Bread:

https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/amp/

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this thread to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

[Image ID: The interior of a luxury car. There is a dagger protruding from the steering wheel. The entertainment console has been replaced by the text 'You wouldn't download a car,' in MPAA scare-ad font. Outside of the windscreen looms the Matrix waterfall effect. Visible in the rear- and side-view mirror is the driver: the figure from Munch's 'Scream.' The screen behind the steering-wheel has been replaced by the menacing red eye of HAL9000 from Stanley Kubrick's '2001: A Space Odyssey.']

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

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braesideautorepair · 7 months ago

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#brake pads #anti lock braking system #car detailing #brake pads replacement #car air conditioning repair #car detailers #auto repair #car dent repair #car mechanic #car paint repair

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hometowne-auto-repair-and-tire · 1 year ago

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A Dodge Ram needs a new wheel bearing.

This week, we performed diagnostic testing on the truck, which was towed in. Its anti-lock braking system (ABS) light and traction light are on.

The hub bearing is shifting when the wheel and rotor move from side to side. This movement caused damage to components, like an axle and brake caliper.

If your ABS light comes on or the brake system doesn’t seem to be working correctly, set up a car appointment as soon as possible.

#dodge ram #prince william county #hometowne auto repair and tire #ABS light #traction light #anti-lock braking system #wheel bearing #hub bearing

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kujiba · 8 months ago

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||MAY THE LAND CONCEAL YOU, DEAR GRACE||

୨୧ — ꒰ gn!reader | they/them prounouns | Sagau | cultish behavior

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 6

A/n: I had a good shit today so I'll bless you all with a new chapter ( not proof read, correct me in any mistakes)

Jean's clear sapphire eyes gawked at the sight of an empty room, it's walls barely hanging by a thread, an attempt to keep everything in it's place; it's reason being directed towards the widely open area that leaves to the vast outside world.

Her lip's trembled with outrage by how their prisoner (Name), had breached through their defenses and escaped under their noses without anybody noticing only till the last second. Jean's fists tightly curled up into a ball, a fire starting in her heart that will not extinguish till her target is brought to justice.

Only imagining how that person could be running around freely in their lives without any consequences daring to come back and tear their life down made Jean's stomach twist and turn out of disgust.

5 hours till (Name)'s execution.

5 hours till they could find (Name).

Jean's mind had been put on a road, a road she will follow till the end of her lifetime, she dared not to look back at her actions and consequences. For her heart knew what must be done in order to preserve justice among the townsfolk, among her people and friends.

Her gloved hand made it's way to the hilt of her sword and drew it out towards the crumbling barrier "Hunt down (Name)! Issue every individual to hunt for them in the land. Those who successfully capture (Name) will be granted a reward of 2,000,000 Mora" Her voiced boomed around the thick interior, the knights accompanying her gladly followed and raised their own swords as well "Kill the fraud! Kill the fraud! Kill the fraud!" They chanted all together, a declaration of war happening towards one individual.

"Kill the fraud under any circumstances!"

!!!!

"Ugh why do I have to do this again?" You grumbled under your breath with irritation as you wielded a plain sword you had gotten for free from the system tightly in your hands. By your side was the system, navigating you through your needs to grow more powerful and stronger.

MISSION:

Kill 50 slimes [24/50]

Kill 50 hilichurls [12/50]

Kill 3 Ruin guards [0/3]

Rewards: advance to level 25, unlock 4 star weapon, +1 level up to talents

You scowled at the words displayed infront of you, of course it had to have all sorts of missions... You disliked it but deep inside you knew no other choices were displayed infront of you. Taking a deep sigh the tip of your sword met with the strange liquidity substance of an hydro slime, piercing it to death. The details were very much more advanced than you had seen from the game, every move; you felt it. This wasn't a dream, the blood you've taken from hilichurls wasn't a dream, being locked away was definitely not a damn dream.

'No.. What am I thinking, I have to focus on completing this stupid mission' You sighed to yourself contemplating whether or not you're finally safe. Turning your blade against another pack of slimes who had spawned from the ground, you dashed towards the creatures and shredded their bodies into small fluids that fell onto the floor, some also getting stuck on your sword much to your dismay.

As your focus shifted to cleaning off the translucent fluid on your blade the system suddenly began going haywire, loud and consistent beeping echoed through the screen as you were forced to face it to find out what is making that unpleasant sound come from the screen.

" WARNING! WARNING! DANGER IS RAPIDLY APPROACHING [INITIATING AUTO MODE] "

A bright crimson text presented itself on your face, the words reflecting against your eyes as you tried to comprehend what the system was trying to do, your lips quivered trying to find words to say to mutter but only a deaf silence came. Your silence quickly faded as you let out a cry, you felt a sudden strong ache on your shoulder as if something had pierced through you (it didn't help it felt like it was burning too).

Looking to your side your pupils stopped at a blazing wooden arrow had penetrated your own shoulder, crimson liquid trailed down your clothes staining it whole while your own knees decided to give in, dropping to the ground. Round droplets of tears falled down your cheeks for the pain had reached through your brain at lightning speed, your palm grasped the wound tightly, an attempt to stop the bleeding.

"Agh, who..." You managed to mumble out those two words out of your unsynchronized breathing, a pair of (E/c) pupils darted around the vast green land to wiggle out the source of the one who attacked you.

It barely took a second till your sight landed on a familiar brunette at a distance, her gloved hand gripped her bow tightly as she summoned 3 pairs of arrows, aiming directly towards your direction. You were quickly alarmed by the girls actions, your mind quickly flooded with a thousand questions as to why Amber had suddenly attacked you for no reason.

"Amber?...." you whispered out her name and quickly regretted it seeing as her expression stiffened even more: "Shut it. Don't ever say my name out of that disgusting mouth of yours" She stated out her words loud and clear, you could barely even gather any of the previous amber you know and love deep in your heart. The throbbing pain in your shoulder muscle only covered as a nuisance at your disposal, you peered down at your legs that were covered in dirt and small ounces of blood that came from your shoulder.

You hesitantly looked back at amber to see what she was doing only to find out she had been gathering the knights at favonius towards your direction. 'SHIT! SHIT! System!' your desperation reached through the system, begging it to help you in this situation. You shutted your eyes tightly, hoping that you would only hear the systems voice the next moment and not Amber's or any of the knights of favonius.

A familiar voice rang out inside your ears that let you breathe a sigh of relief

[INSTALATION COMPLETE, ENTERING AUTO MODE]

The Ai like voice were very last thing that went through your mind before your vision began to fade along with your consciousness. You felt your body didn't meet the solid ground yet but only remained standing, your mind wondered on events that were taking place while you weren't in control of your own body.

The sounds that you could vaguely differentiate were the sounds of Jean's roaring voice along with rapid footsteps coming your way, you only hoped deeply that once your eyes flutter open again, you will be in a much safer area and far away from mondstat.

✧✧✧

Jean's gloved hand tightly held the hilt of her sword, it's blade reflecting against the golden and copper colored mixture of the sky around them. A small wind blew past her blond locks making her sapphire eyes and stern expression ever the more clearer.

Beside her was the knights of favonius, that included Kaeya, Amber, Lisa and Noelle. Jean's gaze shifted to noelle as she mentally shook her head at the young girls decision to come along. She would've much preferred Noelle to be out of this hunt/battle but the maids persistence was rock solid, she had stated herself 'My loyalty to the knights of favonius is as strong as my love for the creator. I will not let some foolish scoundrel get away with this.'

With a final nod, Jean straightened her back and pointed the tip of her blade towards the direction of (Name), her expression cold as ever towards them: How could she not afterall? This was certainly not a first for someone to suddenly step up and declare themselves as the creator just to gain power and control everyone. Her lips scowled lowly with her gaze piercing through (Name)'s skull.

"Imposter! I, the acting grand master Jean declare you an enemy of Mondstadt. You dare to fool us again with your pathetic tricks? Your head will be displayed at the center of Mondstadt, to show and warn any of your other repulsive companions" As her voice boomed across the vast land her followers roared in agreement, declaring that (Name) was a dunce for even attempting to step inside their borders.

(Name)'s head only hung low facing the ground, their expression unclear but Jean took that as a sign to take charge, she putted her blade infront of her face flat and quickly turned it vertically, she soon casted her ultimate "Wind, hear me!" the very same time she announced her burst a glowing circular anemo field surrounded the knights of favonius as small little dandelions floated in the air.

The anemo field casted as an attack buff for the party as many began charging towards (Name)'s direction. Kaeya being the fastest one and summoned his own ultimate "Don't get a frostbite" he smirked, raising his palm in the air, a glowing white emitted from his hand which then summoned large cryo icicles around his body, those icicles which almost pierced (Name)' s limbs if they hadn't swiftly jumped back and dodged them all.

"Heh, Dodge this!" Kaeya thrusted his sword towards (Name) as the same pure cryo icicles came out of his blade. (Name) was about to dodge once again to avoid Kaeyas attack but noticed how he was smirking the whole time, why was he smirking? (Name) felt someone's gloved hands touch their back: that was because Lisa who had abruptly appeared behind (Name) had her hand on them.

Without a second, a sudden surge of electricity flowed through their body top to bottom, (Name)'s body having some small little violet electrical effects. Lisa hummed in satisfaction, her lips turning upright as she backed away from them "Aha, How dirty." She expressed teased in such a mocking voice towards (Name), after all they were another fraud attempting to cheat through the top.

"Nice one, Lisa" Kaeya added then began clapping both of his hands together "I'll leave the rest to you, Noelle" Kaeya's slate blue eyes fixated on the young maid behind him who only gave a affirmative nod "Time to clean up." Noelle brought out her claymore which then started to quickly glow with a beautiful golden color at her words.

(Name)'s automatic system were slightly damaged by the electricity given by Lisa, but thankfully recovered enough to catch the young maidens claymore in mid air.

Noelle gasped in bewilderment, that action also shook Kaeya, Lisa, Jean and the other knights of Favonius to their core "You..." Noelle muttered to (Name) with her hands slightly shaking "Are you actually?-...." yet Noelle couldn't finish what she was trying to say before getting thrown away by (Name)'s brute strength alone.

She stumbled over the grass and used her claymore to keep balance, her eyes never taking off (Name)'s figure for even a second.

(Name) used the opportunity immediately and ran away from the knights of favonius while they on the other hand were trying to process what just happened.

Jean tightly held the grip of her sword with a face full of confusion and hatred towards the unpredictable individual. Jean bit her lip with her gaze on the area where (Name) previously was, with a long sigh she letted go of her blade, the item fading into small little yellow particles.

"They're still injured. They can't run for long." Jean maintained a stoic expression towards the knights of favonius, yet deep inside, her burning flame of hatred towards (Name) only kept growing by the second.

Kaeya nodded his head to Jean's words and also made his sword dissapere in the meantime. Even though (Name) successfully escaped Kaeya couldn't help but smile "Oh poor Imposter, they should've just complied and come with us" He shook his head in dissapointment of their actions "Now you will have to face the wrath of my dear brother."

The knights of favonius weren't the only people after you, every inch and corner of Mondstadt has people bloodthirsty for your blood to be spilled on their territory. The woods, the caves, the mountains, each one of those have people ready to attack incase the Imposter comes for protection and shelter.

But no one could compare to the absolute beast a certain redhead becomes in the night, where he swore to spill the Imposters blood in his hands and leave their flesh to be ravaged by the animals. His siganture weapon The Wolf's Gravestone, a long and heavy claymore with its design having a crimson red and dark shaded black with rough textures. It's color would shine brighter in the night sky where the moon would reflect it, only those who were killed by the holder could witness the beauty of the weapon and the murderous son of Master Crepus; Diluc Ragnvindr

...

You lowkey felt that all of what happened was just you being high while dreaming cause one; why are the characters you cried, sweat, and worked so hard for trying to hunt you down like you were in the hunger games.

And two, why the heck did you woke up in a dark cave with so much injuries!? It hurts like shit! You would've thought the moment you got your conscious back from the system you would be safe and sound. CLEARLY, alot had happened when the system was taking over your body.

As you were brainstorming ideas on possibilities and attempting to remember how to be like Katniss everdeen a blue screen popped up beside you once again, this time it showed your current stats

...

LVL 17/25

Max hp: 500/1,237

Atk: 234

Def: 100

Elemental mastery: 1,000

Max stamina: 240

Crit rate: 30%

Crit damage: 90%

Energy Recharge: 400%

"... what the hell" Your mouth dropped seeing how fast your stats advanced so much, all that after grinding for 2 hours!? Has the system finally took pity on your sorry ass and gave you a blessing?!

Aside from that your brows furrowed slightly at your health. Your hp bar is currently at orange since your body took alot of blows, classic game design.

But all that aside, it was definitely shocking to see your previous low level stats ascend to higher numbers by only using like 20% of your own body power. And with just that simple buff, maybe you'll let the system live another day..

[System entering automatic shut down after overheating, Duration: 2 Hours]

You take everything back.

'Curse you system! How dare you take over my body and make me wake up like I've just been at war!!' Your hands tightly balled up, clenching tighter and tighter by the second a clear vein popping out of your forehead with it bulging slightly.

Out of frustration the side of your clenched hand met with the surface of the cold, solid ground of the eery cave. The sound echoing throughout the interior of the place growing smaller and smaller by the second,

You quickly regretted that decision though since your hand hurted like hell, the skin turning slightly red because of the impact received from the ground below.

You brought your swollen reddened hand closer to your chapped lips to blow on it carefully, you're severely dehydrated and starving, not to mention the never ending stinging of the wounds on your body you received from the fight.

If you were honest to yourself. Sitting inside a dark and empty cave with nothing but the deafening sound of silence was uncomfortable. The system would return after 1 hour and 29 minutes, so you just had to find out a way to survive without it for a while.

You'd grown used to hearing small little 'ping!' from the system and getting flashed with a bright blue screen on your face. But now it's just you and well... You.

Your (e/c) eyes glanced towards your vision dangling from the side of your hip. You took notice on how it weirdly was glowing all of a sudden, isn't this when a characters burst is charged up?

Unfortunately.

You cannot press Q or any button to just automatically cut into a burst animation, Actually are you a 4 star or 5 star?...

"Dang I think I broke it." You mumbled to yourself while your index finger slightly scratches your cheek, the system was a jerk since it refuses to give you a simple guide on how to do this and that.

Your body shuddered like a leaf as a cold harsh wind blew inside the already dark and gloomy cave. Stands of hair flew towards your face making you looks more haggard than before, but you still protectively turned your back to face away from the intense breeze.

Bringing your legs closer to your chest to emith warmth around your freezing and shaking body you leaned the side of your head on the stone wall then began slowly itching more and more towards the darkness to make a distance from the cave gate since it looked like it was beginning to rain heavily tonight.

To cope with your issues and problems, you instinctively began ranting inside your head with your expression full of dissapointment and annoyance

''Damn reincarnation, nothing good happened! All I got was getting kidnapped then hunted down?!''

If you could freely activate your dendro vision things would be much helpful for you!! But NO your skills are locked away from the system, you're unable to level up or grind to ascension since the knights of favonius and people of Mondstadt could be everywhere!

If bitch was a person they 100% must be fucking with you.

But then, your ranting came to an abrupt halt as the sounds of footsteps began closing in on you. Footsteps that didn't seem to be a mob nor group, but instead coming from one person.

You felt a cold sweat drip down your cheek with multiple scenarios racing through your mind gathering every and any possibility that could happen once they found your hide out.

You quickly covered your dendro vision using your own clothes as a coverage since it was still glowing brightly throughout the gloomy cave, and being the only source of light aside from the radiating moonlight high above the jet black sky with many stars accompanied by it.

"If I can't see them then they can't see me." You internally thought to yourself and quickly took advantage of the caves darkness, using it to cover and blend in with the surrounding area and hide from whatever is out there.

You hoped to yourself and prayed that it was just some random npc who doesn't give a single fuck about you and let you off the hook, what you DESPERATELY don't wish for is some vision holder coming out for you, especially a certain blonde, brown and red haired trio.

"If you can see me through this darkness then you must have some sort of 24/24 vision or something" you lamented in your head while dozing off to some random school memory you had in your past that was until two large pair of black boots stopped directly infront of the caves entrance making you freeze and mentally shit yourself.

"WTFF!! I know those shoes anywhere! Since I worked my ass off to buy that very skin!!" Your mouth dropped to it's lowest seeing as they began to slowly move towards where you were hiding at. You immediately shifted positions quickly and as quietly as you can, using both of your hands to hide any loud breathing or sounds you might accidentally let out.

Your eyes shrinked while eyeing their gloved hand feeling around the pitch dark area you were previously sitting in. Your only choices now was hope they don't find and grab you before ending your right there and then, or make a run for it.

Second choice not looking so good huh

"You can't see me, you can't see me" You repeated endlessly to yourself while trying to stop your body from shaking like a leaf that just got blown over by a strong gust of wind. The person eventually retracted their hand from the dark and took a step back and towards the caves entrance making you sigh in relief.

Your eyes that were ungulfed in darkness looked towards them, their hair color not being much clear to you since you guys were inside a cave without any source of light other than the caves entrance, with a small nod you unconsciously formed a small smile "Thank goodness... Now just go awa-" But that happiness quickly dissolved for you felt a gloved hand roughly grab you by the collar of your shirt and threw you to the caves entrance where the moons light shined down on your body, revealing your presence to them.

"Fuck!..." You cursed under your breath and letted out a rugged cough since your lungs were having a hard time inhaling some air.

Your (e/c) pupils met with a pair of the same black boots that were in the cave that made your breath hitch and stop for a moment, this was your end and you knew it. Out of all the people you had to encounter, you were met with the intense stare and fury deep inside the red heads heart.

Your lips quivered with a severe feeling of fear rush through every part of your body, barely making out his name you desperately did not want to believe in;

"Diluc?..."

3rd Person Pov

There were many stories floating across the nations of Teyvat, Diluc wasn't an exception since his father, Crepus, frequently reader him and Kaeya a small story before bed. A story about a god who was seen as the glory and perfection of the people living in teyvat.

Soft looking (Hair color) locks that glistened under the moons luminosity and was said to feel like brushing your fingertips through a valley of soft fabric, a beautiful body that was carved out by the gods with their own hands to produce what they call 'perfect' for a person; they had carved for 5 months and 20 extra days to slowly built the base for their grace without a stop since they were afraid to even make the smallest mistake for such a large responsibility.

Dilucs vermillion eyes gazed down on (Name) and studied their features from a distance. In all of the stories he had read there was never a same picture for what their grace looked like as they took on many forms throughout their rule. Yet for some reason, What diluc imagined his grace to look like was oddly on point with the person sprawled down on the ground with their hands and pants now dirtied from the soil below.

But no matter what the person or cause, Diluc had come to a conclusion when their grace left. That they had abandoned them all. And he, existed to purge and exterminate anyone who defies his god.

"Don't call me like that you pest" Diluc blurted out towards (Name) which made their eyes widened and their eyebrows wrinkle together, "What?" they muttered with confusion evident in their voice.

Diluc clenched his teeth together and held his tounge back from saying anything unnecessary "It was an idiotic move for you to step inside mondstat territory you fraud." Dilucs right foot stepped forward as yellow particles began to form near his fingers and created his signature weapon, the wolves Gravestone "Burn."

He swung his claymore forward and unleashed a ginormous blazing pheonix that would burn anything in it's path, and that ultimate was coming right towards (Name)'s direction.

"Shit!! Wait! Hold on!" (Name) panicked vigorously as they felt their skin heating up by the second. (Name) attempted to bolt out the way but suddenly felt their left leg get trapped by something, looking down their mouth dropped seeing as they were caught in a bear trap specifically used for hunting boars.

"NONONO SYSTEM!!" (Name) desperately shouted while the phoenix slowly got closer and closer to (Name) making them feel hopeless at the current situation.

**Ting!

''Given conditions have been met, automatically unleashing burst,,

An AI voice rang throughout (Name)'s ears making them hiss and groan in pain, their dendro vision that was covered through their clothes fabric shined brighter than ever making Diluc himself stunned by its glowing aura, one that he had never seen before.

"My grace?"

Just before the blazing pheonix could reach (Name), long ropes made out of strong roots emerged from the landscape and formed a protective shield around them, blocking (Name) from the incoming attack and further damage.

Before Diluc could get back to his senses and spam his burst, even more roots resurfaced and wrapped around Dilucs arms and legs tightly making him groan and drop his claymore to the ground making a loud 'clang!'

(Name) stared at the situation dumbfounded by its power, they shakily looked over to their vision that was now flickering and barely remaining it's iconic glow

"Holy shit I'm op"

They huffed in amazement, slightly terrified yet proud of their new found power even beginning to get sidetracked of their current messy situation.

Diluc stared at (Name) who had sparkles inside their eyes as they were practicing on doing it again but unfortunately failed miserably,

Without even Diluc knowing, his gaze softened at the sight of the joyful individual. It was like watching his own fantasies he had made as a child play out in front of him like a show he yearned his whole life, a dream where he would watch his grace enjoy their life to the fullest with him always being by their side.

But just now, a small blaze ignited deep inside his heart. It wasn't hatred connected to them, but hope. Hope that there was a possibility that the person standing across from him with roots and veins protectively around their body... Was his grace?

Without a moment of hesitation Diluc easily ripped apart the veins that were holding him back and landed on the ground swiftly making (Name) shriek at the sight of the red head slowly making his way towards them.

He stopped when he was only a small distance away then crouched, he kneeled at (Name)'s presence with a soft expression evident on his face though inside he was holding himself back for a rush of excitement and adrenaline coursed through his veins.

"Welcome back my gra-"

[Fixing complete, automatically teleporting you to the nearest statue of the seven..]

(Name) stared at the screen in absolute horror making Dilucs expression shift to one of confusion. He was about to say something till he also made a look of horror since (Name)'s body started to slowly fade away

Terror and anxiety replaced whatever diluc felt at that very moment, were they going to dissapere once again? You can't. He won't ever allow it

"YOUR GRACE!!"

Diluc charged forward, the tip of his fingers about to reach (Name) but they were already gone before he knew it. Diluc dropped to the floor with beads of sweat rolling down his forehead, (Name) had just been teleported away by the system and diluc had to go find them again before the others get to (Name) first.

But the system had surely made a mistake. Because surely they purposely didn't teleport (Name) to INAZUMA where they saw death themselves right?

"Maybe if I pretend I didn't see them then they won't see me.."

And what's with the person that looked like them sitting on top of a statue looking all high and mighty? That's way too dangerous.

...

"I'm so fucked"

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littlemssam · 1 year ago

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Mod Updates

As always delete old Mods Files and the localthumbcache, when updating my Mods!

+++

Fixed wrong Group IDs after Patch 1.105.297

I checked all my "Gameplay" Mods for the Group ID Issue, and updated those which needed it.

Be aware, I still need to check my Random Small Mods, Random Bug Fixes, and the "Other Mods" Section.

Anti Fear Training (Pets) Auto Employees | Custom Lot Trait Autonomous Gardening Call a Babysitter Better Familiars Calm Bees Can i come over? Choose Your Helmet Choose Your Roommate Chores Collectibles (Rock Digging) Rework (Slower/Harder) Cookbooks Dine Out 6 Fish Aquarium Eco Dishwasher First Love Foster Family Maid & Gardener Service Give a Gift & More Go for a Walk Go for a walk with more Pets Go for a Walk with Dogs will fill up Needs Holiday Home Standalone Version Improved Practical Spells Improved Practical Spells - New Spell Upgradios Improved Spa Day Tablet Let Friends Age Up Live in Business Live In Services Miscarriage Chance & Abortion - Abortion Part Miscarriage Chance & Abortion - Miscarriage Part More Away Actions More Buyable Venues and new Venue Types More Fun Stuff (Motives, Skills, Life Skills & More Overhaul) More Servings Options - Cakes In Baking Menu Part More Umbrella Variations in World More Visitors | Custom Lot Trait More Woodworks My favorite Raincoat My Little Neighborhood My Pets No Auto Food Grab after Cooking No Restaurant Bill when being Invited Online Gaming with "Headsets" Online Learning System Personal Objects (Computer, Tablets & more) Play your own Tracks as a DJ Preferences | Custom Lot Trait Quick Shower & Quick Bath Roommates Sell via Simbay SimDa Dating App SimsLootBox Skate Everywhere Sleep All Night Small Laundry Overhaul - Doing Laundry On Community Lots Costs Money Slower Writing Social Activities (Visit Friends, Family and more) Spend Weekend With Sul Sul Weather App Tiny Elevators For Pets Transfer Inventory Ultrasound Scan Unlock/Lock Doors for chosen Sims ATM Cards and now with real Credit Function! WEE Working Elevators Everywhere Where are you? Woodworking Table Rework Working Pet Water Bowls

+++

My Site with all possible Download Links: lms-mods.com

Support Questions via Discord only please!

#littlemssam #sims 4 mods #updates

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genshin-impact-updates · 1 year ago

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Artifact Management and Enhancement Screen Optimizations Are Here~ | Developers Discussion - 12/06

Hello, Travelers~

In Version 4.3, we will implement a series of system optimizations in the game. We will be introducing some of these in this Developers Discussion. Let's take a look together~

〓Archon Quest "Requiem of the Echoing Depths" Unlinked From World Quest〓

To ensure that Travelers have a smoother experience with the Archon Quest, from Version 4.3 onwards, "The Chasm Delvers" quest series will no longer be prerequisites for this Archon Quest. When you reach the objective "Enter The Chasm: Underground Mines" in the Archon Quest "In the Depths, an Unexpected Reunion," a Teleport Waypoint will be automatically unlocked in The Chasm: Underground Mines so you can continue with the Archon Quest.

The Archon Quest "Requiem of the Echoing Depths" requires Travelers to head to The Chasm: Underground Mines, but this location will be locked until Travelers have completed the corresponding World Quest that allows them to enter and continue pursuing the Archon Quest.

〓One-Click Features〓

▌Dispatching Characters on Expeditions

One-Click Expeditions will become available in Version 4.3. This will allow Travelers to claim Expedition Rewards with a single click, as well as repeat expeditions with a single click.

(This is under development and is not indicative of the final product.)

▌Ingredient Processing and Forging Screens

Aside from expeditions, you will also be able to claim processed ingredients and forged items that have been completed with a single click in Version 4.3.

▌Mystic Offering

When performing Mystic Offerings at Crafting Benches, you'll now be able to add multiple Artifacts in batches with a single click.

In future versions, you'll also be able to claim created Furnishings from the Creation Screen in the Serenitea Pot with a single click.

〓Optimized Artifact Management〓

As the journey goes on, the number of Artifact Sets you can collect will continue to increase. To help Travelers quickly find and manage Artifacts, a significant optimization has been made to the Artifacts filter function.

Automatic Locking and Quick Unlock functions have been added to the Inventory > Artifacts screen. Travelers can use these to automatically lock and unlock Artifacts according to the requirements they set.

(This is under development and is not indicative of the final product.)

Additionally, as a reference to help Travelers when choosing Artifacts, recommended Artifact set information based on recently active players will now be shown on characters' Artifacts screens.

For more details about Artifact management optimizations, please stay tuned for future official descriptions.

〓Optimized Enhancement Screens〓

In the current version of the game, when Travelers level up characters or enhance Weapons and Artifacts, a pop-up appears showing how the corresponding values changed before and after enhancement. In Version 4.3, enhancement information will be integrated into the original screen instead. This will make the enhancement experience smoother for Travelers by getting rid of the frequent pop-ups.

Apart from integrating enhancement information, there will also be some small targeted optimizations on these screens:

▌Character Level-Up Screen

(This is under development and is not indicative of the final product.)

The speed of interface special effects related to leveling up characters has been increased, and you can now use Auto Add to add sufficient Character EXP Materials to get the character up to the highest level they can reach before Ascension with a single click.

▌Artifact Enhancement Screen

(This is under development and is not indicative of the final product.)

Other optimizations:

1. You can now consume up to 15 items per time when enhancing Artifacts.

2. Added the "Enhance to Next Tier" function. Once activated, when there are still open slots to add Enhancement Materials but this action will already cause the Artifact to reach Level 4/8/12/16, no more additional Enhancement Materials will be automatically added.

3. In Settings > Other, you can choose whether or not 5-Star Artifacts can be auto-added as Enhancement Materials.

Combined with the Automatic Locking function mentioned above, we hope that these changes will make managing 5-star Artifacts more convenient for Travelers.

▌Weapon Enhancement Screen

(This is under development and is not indicative of the final product.)

You can now consume up to 40 items per time when enhancing Weapons on, and select multiple materials when refining Weapons.

We hope that these optimizations make the enhancement experience smoother for Travelers.

〓Character Reload Spot When Challenging Domains Repeatedly〓

In Version 4.3, after entering the Domain or if you continue to challenge the Domain after claiming rewards, characters will reload nearer to the Domain challenge location. This means you won't have to run over from the Domain entrance to this location again.

(This is under development and is not indicative of the final product.)

〓Other Optimizations〓

To improve your gaming experience, some other optimizations will be implemented in Version 4.3. These include:

1. The way enemy avatars display in Adventurer Handbook: Enemies will be adjusted to help you find them. Also, you can now select "Cancel Navigation" on this screen to stop navigating towards the corresponding enemy on the map.

2. On the various creation screens (Crafting/Cooking/Forging/Create Furnishing), if there are no selected character records on the Traveler's device, the first character that can provide a bonus when creating the selected item will be chosen by default.

3. On the map screen, you'll now be able to check bosses' current remaining respawn times by clicking their avatars.

(This is under development and is not indicative of the final product.)

And that's all for this Developers Discussion. We'll have more information about new version content and optimizations for you in the future, so please stay tuned for further official announcements. If you have any thoughts or feedback, feel free to send them to us through the various channels within and outside of the game~

#genshin impact #genshin impact updates #genshin impact news #official #developers discussion #yesss YESSSSSSS #also sorry if these gifs kill your phone the way they're killing mine

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slinkythecoffeekid · 2 months ago

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Chapter Two || Who's the Goose if I'm the Duck?

Updates Hi again! I didn't expect the first to be super popular, as it's such an introductory chapter. I have a few things planned, and I'm excited to do them, even if no one reads them. With that being said, welcome to chapter two! I am nervous about this chapter ngl...

Chapter Two of "Standing Again" Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Reader Rating: T for teens word count: 7.8k Warnings: swearing, Talk of injury, Injury-related trauma, PTSD behaviors, Alcohol is mentioned. anxiety

Synopsis:

You've been here a week, and you've been pretty busy. Between keeping track of others and your needs, you reflect on how hectic your first week was. Having a party to wrap up your week isn't a horrible idea, is it? Cheers to new friends.

They say quit if you don't like your job in the first two weeks. But what about a job you're only a few days into?

You'd been here a week and wanted to pull your hair out. How was it difficult to manage a singular aspect of twenty-three adult men's lives? The one aspect that, even then, they had the most input on? The answer was complicated, and honestly, if it wasn't for the lavish pay, you wouldn't still be here, in your office with the lights of your kitchen and office off as you sat in your chair slumped back as far as physically possible. Things couldn't be that bad, could they? Maybe you were overreacting slightly. You sigh, forcing yourself to sit upright, causing the LED auto lights of nightmares to turn on, blinding you.

Groaning, you avert your eyes and dig through your desk for a notebook. It was a simple black leather-bound notebook with your initials etched, a gift from your mom when you started playing. She told you that even the best players have thoughts on improving. That's why they were and are the best at the game. It hasn't been used in three years, but you flipped through the book, looking at what you wanted to improve back then: Plays, strategies, teamwork bonding. Everything was in this little book of yours.

You pull out a pen from your desk, uncapping it. You sit for a moment, thinking about what to improve on in this new role of life. Instead, though, you decide perhaps venting to yourself would be a better use of your time. So, putting pen to paper, you begin to write.

Tuesday: people could not respond to an email. Why am I hunting down grown adults? That's not my job.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your morning started just like every morning before. You got up at 5:25 am, ate breakfast, had some tea, got dressed, brushed your teeth, brushed your hair, and left your flat at 6:30, ensuring you locked up. Putting your earbuds on for your morning run and commute to work. Your run takes you through the city proper, past many shops and parks, passing school children playing football in their uniforms before class, and older couples just enjoying their time outside in the nice weather. No difference from the morning before besides the warmth that the morning before didn't have. Your morning commute gets you to the football club at 8:05, in theory, your usual time.

You make it into the building, giving small hellos and nods and heading straight to your office. Pulling out your keys, you unlock the large metal door and unlock it heading into the kitchen. You turn on all the lights before heading into your office, shutting the door behind you, and sitting in your chair. You look around before looking down at the picture to the right of your desk and smile, wishing your former team a good morning and turning on your computer. Most of your morning comprised of double checking the order from the week before would be accurate and seeing what you'd be receiving this week. You also spent a good chunk of the morning filing away any paperwork left behind in your filing system. By the time late morning rolled around, you'd finished most of your morning checklist. You remembered that you needed to check your email to see who had responded to the one thing you told the team to do. The real question was if anyone was paying enough attention to do what you'd asked of them. Logging in, you check your email; to your shock, almost everyone has responded. The first few you saw were those you expected to respond promptly.

Danni Rojas

Jan Maas

Issac McAdoo

Colin Hughes

Roy Fucking Kent (he actually put that as his name on the email)

Looking through most of the responses, you had most of the team on the list Rebecca graciously provided. You decided to look into the responses you received from the team and get an idea of what they enjoyed eating. Between Sam asking for more traditional Nigerian food, Issac asking for a more protein-heavy diet, and Roy essentially sending you a grocery list, you were glad that people took your position seriously and respected the effort you wanted to put into the job. However, there is always one stick in the mud when getting every cow in the barn.

Jamie Fucking Tartt

Of course, he hadn't filled out the only thing you'd asked of him. By nature, Jamie was a prick who only did things if they were convenient for him. Filling out a survey for the new person on something he didn't care about was not on his mind or even remotely in his brain. Of course, you knew you had a hunch this would happen but not right out the gate. Remembering you have an actual task, you pull yourself away from putting the information in the computer and get up to walk out of your office. Jamie could be in only a few places: the pitch, the locker room, or just not there at all. All options are logical places for footballers to be. You decided the first thing to do was check the locker room and then go from there. The locker room was close to your office, so it didn't take too long for you to get there. Knowing it was a locker room and having been raised with some semblance of manners, you knocked before entering. However, upon arrival, the locker room was empty. Not a single soul was in sight; you knew they had not left for any games. So that meant they had to be outside on the pitch… that Higgins never took you to.

A frown crossed your face; this meant they were outside on the pitch, and you didn’t know how to get there from inside the building. However, this presented you with a unique opportunity. Sure, you had been down here just yesterday, but you didn't get to look around, and maybe you'd catch the Kitman and he could walk you to the pitch. You walked in just to look around, observing people's lockers. Everyone's lockers have a touch of them. Jamie's iconic icon hat sat on the top shelf of his cubby. Sam had his photo of the Nigerian National Team. Jan has his little Netherlands flag on his own. Everyone had something to care about in their lockers. You turn to look at the coach's office and catch a glimpse of yellow above the door. The bright yellow sign says ‘BELIEVE’. You smile to yourself knowing this had to be Ted’s doing. He seemed like the kind of guy who, if he could put it everywhere he could, even a tattoo. That brought laughter to yourself, the silly idea of Ted with a ‘believe’ tattoo. Shaking your head you reach up to gently tap the sign above the door and walk back out of the locker room. Standing outside the door you look down the hallway. Trying to figure out how to get to the pitch.

You had three options: ask someone, wander until you find the walkway to the field, or hop the fence.

The first option would save you some time, even if you felt it was embarrassing, the second would take longer but you felt your pride would be saved. The third… well you didn't even entertain as it was foolish. Weighing your options… you decided that you'd wander because there was no way you would ask your boss how to get to the pitch. You walk down a few random corridors before realizing for a small building, they sure have a lot of random hallways here. You sigh in slight defeat, before deciding to head back toward the locker room and try the hall it's attached to. You head back the way you came, heading towards the locker room and rounding the corner before running face-first into someone.

That someone, as you looked up, happened to be none other than one and only Roy fucking Kent; you were able to get out a nervous " "sorry…"

Looking down at you, Roy frowns, as if he had just been run into. It had never occurred to you just how tall Roy was. He wasn't overly tall, but he was tall enough to be intimidating if he were standing over you, like now. He grunts in response. “It's alright; just watch where you’re going.” He brushes his clothing down. “What are you doing down here?”

During this, you decided to check your email on your phone just in the rare chance you had received a reply. Nothing. Hearing the question, you looked up. “Looking for the pitch. Higgins didn't show me the way, and I'm pretty sure that was on purpose.”

Roy nods in understanding before letting out a slightly annoyed grunt. “Right, Gimme a second.” He turns around and briefly walks into the locker room before returning without the bag he brought. Looking down the hall that you had not gone down yet, as the hall was like a t-shaped intersection, he points down, “That hall takes us to the pitch.” with that he turns around and begins walking down that hall, before calling over his shoulder, “Come on then, let's go.”

You nod and follow him down the corridor, keeping up with his faster walking speed. You notice that sometimes if he steps funny, he limps. This reminds you of your leg and how you sometimes had to coddle yourself. It brings you a sense of relief and a small smile.

“Oi, next time fucking ask instead of wandering around like a lost kid.” he slowed his pace down so that you two could be in step together. Mostly so you didn't wander off again. Roy must have had a sixth sense of existent joy, or maybe he was a natural buzzkill you had no idea.

“Yes sir” you grumble stuffing your hands into your pockets, cheeks puffed out, sulking like a little kid.

You two walk in awkward silence down the rest of the hallway. As the two of you reach the end of the hall he opens the door for you letting you walk out first. You thank him politely as you walk out the door. Earning a standard grunt of what you had come to realize translated to you’re welcome

Emerging from the tunnel you had to shield your eyes from the glaring sun that was right in your eyes. Adjusting to the sun's angry beams of light and vitamin C, you look around the pitch. Aside from the players running drills, the pitch was in clean condition. The stadium was of good size and in Richmond colors blue and red and you looked up and behind you, you could see Ms. Welton's office from where you stood. You turn back around to walk over to where the four coaches were huddled up talking about different drills the team would be working on, trying to feign your disinterest you clear your throat to catch the group of men's attention.

“Well, howdy there doc! How are you this morning?” Ted turned around and smiled widely at you hands on his hips, “Mighty fine weather this morning aint that right fellas?” he nudges, Nate to his left and Beard to his right who both nod and give a mixture of ‘yeah, it's nice’ and ‘sure uh huh’ from both.

Roy stands next to them, arms crossed, and looks over to the pitch, where the team is currently scrimmaging. He loses all interest in the conversation behind him.

You snicker at Ted, looking out to the field, “Yes coach, it's good weather for practice. And even better weather for hunting down people who don't follow explicit directions from someone doing their job.” Honestly, you were not even all that mad, frustrated to hunt down someone, sure, but not angry. You look to the pitch, “Where's Tartt?”

Nate looks to Beard who shrugs watching the field, and Nate shakes his head in uncertainty. “Not sure, is there something you need (y/n)? I'm sure we can get it for you later.”

You shake your head. “You're going to get him to respond to an email?” You turn to Nate with a raised eyebrow. Based on how Nate looked at you, he must have realized that this wasn't an issue he could comment on. He seemed to try forming a sentence and moved on, paying attention to the field.

“Right those emails, I did remind everyone to respond to them before we left yesterday. Maybe it just slipped his mind (y/n).” Ted gently pats your shoulder, “But we can have Roy tell him to do it for you if that would help?”

Beard and Roy both scoff from the side.

“More like yell at him to do it,” Beard laughed before yelling out onto the field, “Don't forget the extra pass!!”

Your brow furrowed, arms crossed looking to the pitch, surveying the players, and realizing you hadn't seen Jamie on the field. “Is he even here?” and everyone shakes their head in response. Unannounced to you, every coach takes a step back from you. You pinch the bridge of your nose and inhale an annoyed breath. “Right of course why would he be punctual?” you ask out loud.

As you're asking this you feel something, no someone barrel past you, apologizing as they went, causing you to stumble and Ted and Beard try to help you keep your balance and not fall on your face. All of you look up to see one Jamie Tartt running towards the field, throwing a bag off to the side of the field. “Jesus fucking Christ” was all you could manage before standing up feeling somewhat winded from how hard he rushed past you.

“You’re late Tartt!” Issac yells from the far side of the field.

“I know I'm late!” he yells, grabbing one of the scrimmage vests from Will the Kitman and flashing a smile as he puts it on. " Cheers! " He then runs to the field to join his team. His hair is disheveled, and he is clearly out of breath. He probably ran the entire way from the car park, not paying attention that he just barreled through four coaches and a (y/n).

You stand there amazed, astonished, appalled, and probably now fuming. Everyone could sense your frustration more because of the lack of manners, and they all seemed to just ignore your frustration at the young striker. Except for Roy.

Roy doesn't look at you, “Watch the field, (y/n) Captains got it handled,” his response confusing you more before you turn to watch.

From where you stood all you could see was Issac and Jamie talking for a moment before Jamie bowed his head in defeat, took for the outside lines of the pitch and started running. Passing behind you and the other coaches, “Sorry for running into you!” he yelled as he ran by. Causing you to crack a small smile. It wasn't like it was a proper apology, but it was an apology. Looking at the four men, you nod, “It's an apology alright,” you take a deep breath of air seeing that everyone is still practicing as usual. “So someone wants to tell Tartt I need his email?”

The four coaches shrug amongst each other before Beard piped up, “Hey Jamie!!”

Jamie, on the far side of the track still doing laps, stopped and looked over, shielding his eyes so he could locate who yelled his name, “Yeah?!”

“Respond to (y/n) Fucking email!”

They got a very distant thumbs-up, “Got it, Coach!” and he kept it on his lap.

Beard turns around to you, “If he doesn’t, tell Roy, and he will hunt him down”

“The fuck I will,” Roy grumbles in slight annoyance. “I will, Don't let the prick push you around.”

You smile at all four coaches, “Thanks, coaches. Cheers!” You give them all a wave before heading back inside the building towards your office to start your orders for next week.

After you are out of earshot, Ted turns to Beard, “Think they got lost?”

“Yup”

“And Roy found them.”

“Yup”

“Probably got a lecture out of it.”

“Most definitely.”

“Well at least they didn't hop a fence” Ted blew his whistle, “Bring it in guys!”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thinking back on your Tuesday, it wasn't horrible, even after that mishap of getting lost. You did get the email from Jamie; he was like most of the younger gents, higher protein, low sugar, and things of that nature. Your afternoon was spent with Keeley, who insisted she couldn't work from her desk and had to spend time with you. Of course, until she had to actually leave. You enjoyed that she wanted to spend time with you; you hadn't spent too much time with friends, had you? When was the last time you called them? All the guilt from unanswered texts and calls started to creep into your thoughts, but you shook it off.

You look at the notebook again before putting pen to paper again. Writing about your Wednesday.

Wednesday: Everyone wants to know how I'm doing. I don't have an answer. But everyone also wants to know me and who I am. I don't know who I am anymore—or if I ever did.

Your morning started just like every morning before. You got up at 5:25 a.m., ate breakfast, had some tea, got dressed, brushed your teeth, brushed your hair, and left your flat at 6:30, ensuring you turned your lights and your flat was locked up. Putting your earbuds on for your morning run and commute to work. Your run takes you through the city proper, past many shops and parks, and past school children playing football in their uniforms. Some of those kids wave and say hello to you. Older couples just enjoy their time outside in the nice weather. No difference from the morning before. Your morning commute gets you to the football club at 8:05.

What had you in such a good mood? Order day. Why did that have you in such a good mood? A day just to yourself. As you had realized, you had to talk to the team about their diet goals and were constantly asked about different things. You didn't just hang out in this windowless box all day.

You hadn't been in your chair more than five seconds before the main door to your office swung open with such force that it hit the door stoppers on the backside of the walls, causing you to jump and look towards the door to see who it was.

You don't know what you expected, but it was not Keeley and Roy. Keely led the charge as she ran inside. “(y/n)! Good morning!” She ran to your office and put a takeaway coffee cup on your desk with the biggest smile. “I got it just the way you like it. I did show them the photo you sent me, so it's as right as it could be, right?” Keeley watched you with anticipation as Roy rolled his eyes.

You stare at Keeley for a second. “I do appreciate that. Thank you, Keeley. You made no effort to grab the cup, but where did you meet Keeley's puppy-dog eyes?”

“She wants you to drink it,” Roy grumbles from the doorway; he looks around your office intently.

Your office was rather bland still; as far as office effects of your own, it wasn't quite up to your character yet. Give you a few weeks, some free time, and a day you drove to work. This room will be screaming that it is your space. You take the cup Keeley brought you with a genuine smile of gratitude and take a sip. It wasn't quite the temperature you were used to, but it was simply because of transportation. Also, it tasted even better because it was free.

Your happiness appeased Keeley, who plopped down in one of the chairs across you, smiled, and pulled out her phone. “So, babes, how are you liking it here? You love it, right? Is this the best job you've ever had? I mean, besides being a pro footballer, right?”

You had just sipped your drink before smiling sheepishly at Keeley, “I've been here not even three days. You gotta give me at least two weeks before I can answer you honestly.” You set your drink down and looked over to Roy, who was now looking at his phone.

Roy let out an annoyed sigh but kissed Keeley on the cheek, “Gotta go cheers, love,” and left promptly.

Keeley smiled and waved him off until she heard the metal doors shut, and she sat up as if possessed by some sort of muppet, “god, he's hot… Oh! So I was thinking, since it's your first full week here, maybe on Friday we should hit the pub with the team for a welcome dinner or something! Since all the boys seem to find you intimidating.”

You take a sip out of your cup with one eyebrow raised before you set the cup down again. " They find me intimidating? Why?” At this point, you were emailing Rebecca about something completely unrelated to work.

Keeley shrugs a bit, “Because you’re fit, built, and don't take anyone's bullshit, Roy told me you came out to the pitch to get Jamie to follow a simple instruction!” she leaned forward in her seat, arms propped up and supporting her chin on the flat backs of her hands. “Honestly, Jamie could use someone like you, I mean, he's got Roy, but like an actual friend, and maybe that could be you.”

You let out a dry chuckle, “Give him enough time, and he will become as callused and jaded as Roy and me.” you hum to yourself. “As far as the pub goes, I dunno, Keleey, I have been here less than three full business days. Don't want to get anyone's hopes up.”

Keeley starts to protest, but there's a knock on the door frame of your office; both of you look over to see Jamie standing in the doorway, wearing his Richmond tracksuit and holding two cups. “Mornin’ doc- morning Keeley. Ah, Doc, I brought you some coffee. I dunno if you drink it, but to apologize for not doing what you asked the other day.” Jamie entered the office, putting the cup next to the one Keeley had brought. “Ah, didn't know you'd already gotten some.”

Are you taking it anyway? Absolutely. " It's the thought that counts. What even is it anyway?” you ask, studying him. The young striker stood with a posture exuding arrogance and well-earned confidence. He was well-kept. His trainers looked like they would cost at least three months' rent these days, but that's what happens when you're the famous Jamie Tartt.

A grin of pride crosses his face when you take the drink, “Just a vanilla latte, and no need for extra stuff in it, you know?” you nod in agreement with him.

“Oh! Jamie, what do you think about the team hitting the pub on Friday to do a welcome dinner for (y/n)?” Ah, yes, the glint in her eye, then I will get my way look many have failed to save themselves from.

Jamie either didn't notice, or he was already sold before she batted her eyelashes at him on the matter; either way, he was sold on the idea the second he heard it. He gasps, and his eyes light up, "“"Oh! That would be wicked! We can go to Crown and Anchor, and they can meet Mae; you've met Mae, right? But hell yeah, I’m in! Think we could get the boss lady to come too and cover the tab?” he asks Keeley leaning into her side and gently elbowing her.

This was it; what you realized was your chaotic sibling dynamic; yeah, sure, they dated, but they seemed to be good friends still, and you could see that they got along wonderfully. So cheers to them, really. You let out a small chuckle. Catching the two's attention. “It's nothing.. If you want to set up a dinner, be my guest. I just don't think it should be about me.” you look up at the clock, “Tartt, you better run, or Roy is going to make you run 30 laps on your own for being late.”

Jamie looked up at the time and sighed in defeat. " Yeah, he will… but yeah, keels, we should do it! Can you text me the info later?” he asked, running backward before turning to run out of the office and to the pitch.

Keeley smiled and looked over at you. " Dinner on Friday, six p.m.; don't be late.” She gave you a mock salute before disappearing to ask Rebecca about paying for her impromptu Friday night team dinner.

You stretch yourself out in your chair before looking at the time. You had nothing better to do for the rest of your morning since nothing important was until the afternoon. Getting up, you head outside, deciding to wander to the pitch so you can sit in the stands to watch the team practice.

“(y/n)!!”

Hearing your name being called behind you, you turn around to see Rebbeca power walking towards you.

“I'm glad I caught you. Where are you headed?” Rebbecca looked out of breath as if she had been running in her heels for half a kilometer, but she put herself back together quite quickly.

You turn and point towards the hall to the pitch. “Heading out to watch them practice since I've got time to kill until the afternoon.”

Rebecca nods, “I see. Shall we go together? So we can see how the team is?” She was polite, but you knew she was telling you that you had no say in the matter. You nod, receiving a smile that could only be described as devious. Rebecca starts walking away, and you follow shortly after her to keep up with her Gazelle-like gait. The two of you sit in the top row of the stands, and the team's therapist is not too far ahead of you. But she seems to pay you, and Rebecca has no mind as you sit down.

Adjusting in her seat, Rebecca clears her throat to mostly catch your attention. “So, how are you adjusting? I know it's been a while since you've been near football. Hopefully, you're settling in, well, yeah? " She doesn't look at you, but you can feel you have her full attention now.

Glancing at her before looking back towards the pitch, your eyes on the 11v11 practice they are doing. Seeing how Isaac and Sam can keep the ball moving so Dani can score brings a smile. " I'm doing alright. I can’t complain about it, mostly because if I did complain, it wouldn't help anyone, would it? But no, I'm adjusting just fine.”

Rebecca nods in understanding, the two of you in silence before she speaks up again. “When I started running the club, I considered making a women's team. Since all the other clubs have one, why couldn't we? Rupert said it was in poor taste, but I still hang onto that idea.”

You nod, leaning back in your seat. " That sounds stellar. It would work well if we could get back to premiere status.”

“Yes, well, maybe one day. I mentioned it because you were one of my draft picks if we could have—” you cut her off.

“The shot was clear from half the field away! Zoreaux should have seen that and probably could have seen it! At the very least, predict where the damn ball was headed! Why was he on the off side of the box?” you lean forward in your seat, annoyed; even if it was just practice, an unprotected goal is a point for the other team, whoever you ask. You frown, watching the goalkeeper before looking back at Rebecca, “I'm so sorry- you were saying?”

She smiles at you, shaking her head. " It's good to see that the love for the sport doesn't die when you leave the pitch.”

You nod with a small smile. “Raised in it. I have a brother who plays for Arsenal and another who coaches for Sunderland.” You think about it for a second. “We play Sunderland. In what? Three weeks, right?”

Rebecca thinks momentarily before pulling out her phone to look at her calendar. “Ah yes, three weeks from this Saturday. Why?”

You shake your head, “Oh, no reason. Just curious.”

“Right… Oh! Keeley mentioned a welcome dinner for you this Friday, and I think that would be a wonderful idea to get you to know the team better. I'd love to go, but I have plans with my god-daughter on Friday. But I will cover the tab. I do hope that you have a lot of fun, though.” She gives your shoulder a slight squeeze. Before her phone started buzzing, she let out a deep sigh. “I do have to go now… If you need anything while you're here (y/n), please don't hesitate.” she gives you one last pat on the shoulder before leaving you in the stands with nothing but yourself, your thoughts, and the team's therapist. Who had turned around to look at you at some point?

You give a wave and a slight smile; she only nods back at you before turning around. You sigh, get up, and head back to your office. On your way back in, the team was heading in so they could grab lunch; you stood off to the side so all the gents could get into the locker room. Most gave brief hellos; you got a fistbump from Collin, Danni high-fived you, Isaac dabbed you up, and Jamie greeted you by name. Honestly, you found all of it weird but endearing simultaneously.

“Howdy, howdy, Doc (y/n). How are you doing?” He came and stood beside you, watching everyone head into the locker room.

“Everyone wants to know that, don't they? Do you always have an answer to that question, coach? " You put your hands in your pockets.

Ted also stood there with his hands in his pockets, shaking his head, “Not always. But I think we all mask our feelings by avoiding the question or giving such routine answers that we sometimes forget to talk about what's wrong.”

You nod, “I can see why we have a club therapist.”

“Indeed. Oh, hey, Jamie mentioned a little team dinner for you since it's your first week. I know you're not too keen on it—Jamie told us that too—but I think it would be fun. Get the team out to dinner! Bond with us, share tales of your time on the pitch, and tell people how you got that wicked nickname.” He gently nudges you and smiles, “What do you say? Come to dinner with us on Friday.”

You sigh. Honestly, you wanted to decline. You wanted to remain by yourself, be the person who randomly needed specific updates, and leave at 5 p.m. every day. However, this group wore you down. You nod in response. “Fine, but the lads get me for a pint, and that's it.”

Ted nods with a broader smile, " Sounds good to me,” he heads into the locker room. Hey guys, (y/n) said yes!” You could hear the locker room erupt with yells, hoops, and hollerings as you shook your head and walked back to your office, pulling out your phone.

Unlocking your phone, you scroll down through some of your messages until you land on a familiar name: your brother, Archie, or, in your phone, Brother Sunderland. You stared at his contact photo for a moment. It was of him and his two sons, Jason and Ian. Jason was ten, and Ian was seven the last time you saw either of them. With whatever courage you had, you decided to text Archie before you lost your nerve.

Hey, just me. See you at the Richmond vs Sunderland game.

Quickly pocketing your phone, you head back to your office. For the rest of your day

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of your Wednesday went smoothly, with the order being put away and lunches made for the next day. You never made the team eat whatever you made, but it was always a viable option for them. Labeling everything for everyone. It was relaxing to be alone, and you listened to the Arsenal match vs. Chelsea. And left at 5pm. Just like every day before it. Thursday was also much like the day before, with the same morning routine and work routine. Spent it with others and by yourself and went home at the same time, as normal.

The only thing is that you never received a text back from Archie. It hurt a bit, but you understood. People can't continue to reach out if you can't meet them halfway. You hurt him first.

You sigh, looking down one last time, and write down one previous entry.

Friday: team bonding dinner. Nervous as fuck; what if people don't like me? What if I don't like myself? I shouldn't go.

You think for a second. Standing up, you grab your backpack and your car keys. It had rained most of last night into the morning, so you drove just to be safe. You hear a knock on your office door and turn to see Jamie standing in his puffer vest with a sling bag on and that silly cap that says ICON. You wave, zipping up your bag. “Afternoon, Jamie. Can I help you?”

He shrugs, “Nah, I thought I'd come down and offer to drive you to the pub; I mean since you run every morning.”

You raise an eyebrow at him with a slight smirk, “Paying attention to someone besides yourself, Tartt. Careful people might get the wrong idea.” you pat him on the shoulder, walking past him with your backpack on and the hoodie you wore in. your clothes were nothing special just jeans and a plain black shirt, and a plain hoodie to go with it all. You twirl your car keys in your free hand. “But don't worry, Jamie, I drove.” you head out, shutting your lights off, Jamie trailing behind you.

“Ah yeah, that's good and all… what do you drive?”

You look over at him, “Tartt, is this you trying to be friendly, or are you trying to get something else out of me?” You mostly were teasing him, but you also know yourself well enough to know you could not let this go anywhere.

He shrugs, “Friends, I guess, I mean, you're fucking fit, but I got a career to focus on right now.” stuffing his hands in his pockets, he refuses to look over at you.

You shrug, “Don't worry about it. I get it. Dating as a footballer is not for the weak.”

“You had many boyfriends when you played?” You had his full attention now if you hadn't already.

“Nah, I don't have—I didn't have time for that.” As you approach the car park, you smile at him and pat him on the shoulder. “Riveting as this conversation is, I'll see you at the pub. Cheers, " you say, heading towards your car.

“Wait, you never answered my question!!” Jamie yelled after you, but you had already settled into your car, turning over the engine. You don't know what he thought you drove, but his eyes went a bit wide when he saw you in a 2016 Jaguar F-Type in white. You had to pull in front of him to turn out of the car park, and you rolled down your window and peeked your head out.

“Does this answer your question?”

He nods and smirks at you as you pull out of the park and head towards the pub, leaving not only him but a few of the other players standing in awe.

“Mate, was that (y/n)?” Isaac asks in awe.

“Sure was, mate.” Jamie nods.

“Think they’d give us a ride sometime?” Sam pipes up from beside Isaac.

“Beats me bruv. Come on, let's get out of here." Jamie and the others walked towards their own cars.

The Crown and Anchor was busy by the time you arrived. Since a lot of people had gotten off to start their weekends. You'd never been in here before, so you quietly made your way to the bar, where an older woman was pouring pints for a group of three lads while watching the corner tele. The woman looks over at you with a smile, “What can I get you love?”

You shrug, “Just some water, please.” you push your hoodie sleeves up and watch the window, waiting for your coworkers to enter. Here, you were nervous about a group of twenty men wanting to hang out with you. You hadn't been so anxious since you first started primary school. You come to your senses when the woman sets some sparkling water before you. “Thanks… Mae, right?”

She smiles and gives you a wink, “The one and only. Welcome to Richmond, love. I hope you enjoy it here.” And she leaves you with that.

You smile, taking a sip of your water, but nearly choked by the firm arm wrapped around your shoulder; looking up, you see Isaac and Sam on either side of you. “Jesus Christ scared the shit out of me!”

“Coach said you'd stick around for one pint; water doesn't count even if it is a pint,” Isaac spoke so seriously that you could never tell if it was a joke or not. But he does crack a smile, “Mae! Three pints!” he lets go of your shoulder and nods as if inspecting if you are cool. “The f-type yours?”

You nod, “Yep, that's the first car I ever purchased on my own. I don't drive it much.” You smile at Sam, “Are the others coming, or did they cancel at the last second?”

“Oh, they are very much coming. We would not miss a chance to drink on the club's money. Besides, everyone wants to get to know you!” Sam's smile was infectious. During this, Mae had put down the three beers, and Sam and Isaac started drinking.

You go to say something, and the pub door swings open, and an absolute marching line of A.F.C Richmond players come into the pub chatting with each other, and Isaac and Sam wave everyone down to where the three of you sat. Everyone exchanged greetings. Everyone was there, well, besides Rebecca. Keeley, Roy, all the other coaches, and every team member were there. You managed to sneak off to a quieter part of the pub during this. Just sipping on your water, watching everyone chat, and have a good go at it. Eventually, people started to ‘settle’ in with their food and drink.

You watched them all from afar but turned to hear someone coming to sit next to you. Jamie.

“Come to seek me out?” you ask, eating a chip from your fish and chips.

“You disappeared, and the party is about you, bruv.” He takes a sip from his beer and attempts to steal an unguarded chip. But he receives a firm smack on the back of his palm, earning a pout from him. “Come on (y/n), one?”

You raise an eyebrow at him, “We are not friends enough to warrant chip stealing. However, I don't do parties. They make me nervous like my heart is in my mouth and my brain is in my stomach, and I'm never happy after them.” you state pretty bluntly. “I agreed to show up for a pint, not to socialize.” you take a bite out of a chip and lock eyes with Jamie, who nods at you before snatching your entire plate.

“Hey now! Give that back!” you try to grab it, but he's holding it over your head.

“Nah mate, you gotta eat with us.” he carries your plate to the group of your team and sets down the plate next to his own. Forcing you to join the team. “May I present unlucky 13!” This announcement has caused the team to start hooping and hollering at your arrival as you grumpily sit beside Jamie, arms crossed and slouched in your seat.

“You're a prick,” you mutter at him, getting a wink in response.

The rowdiness stopped as Ted stood up with his pint, “A toast to having (y/n) join our team, even if they are just making sure none of you boys starve.” This earned a laugh from the group. “I hope you find the same love for your career off the pitch as you probably did on the pitch. To (y/n)!!”

“To (y/n)!!” Everyone cheered and went back to their prior conversations. You didn't attempt to run away this time, but you did look to Jamie. “Get me a pint?”

He nods and gets up to the bar to get a drink. In his absence, Roy sits in the chair Jamie left. “I didn't think you'd get back in the game, did you?”

You nod, eating another chip. “Im fucking terrified. I know I'm not in the box, but being this close… it's nerve-wracking. What if I want to play again?” you look over at Roy. You'd known Roy a long time. Roy was a Sunderland academy product, and Archie played with him there.

He shrugs at your response, “then you fucking play the game. You can't be scared of your own fucking shadow (y/n). It's not like you're out on the fucking pitch anyways. You can't hurt your leg by making shit protein pasta with shit sauce.” he turns and looks you dead in the eye. “You're closer than you were before. Give it time.”

You scoff, “ill have. You know it's not fucking shit, and you know that if you fucking ate it.” you look up at him with a small smile. “Yeah, you're right. Don't ever expect me to want to run drills with you guys. Zoreaux needs to keep a better line of sight of the ball from further back. He miscalculated Wednesday's trajectory from the near half pitch.” you look over, seeing Jamie returning with your pint and take it with open arms, “Thank you, Jamie.” You take a sip of your beer. Even if you didn't like beer, it was just a good old tradition to tolerate at least one.

Roy gives you a pat on the shoulder, rolling his eyes. “Good night (y/n),” and he walks away to spend time with Keeley.

Jamie watches before sitting down. " Hanging out with grandad? You need better taste.” He takes a sip from his cup.

You shrug, “He's a friend.” you smile as the chat has turned into some stories of team members' youths and adventures they've been on. Even the coaches get involved. You learn more about Kansas than you'd ever thought you'd need to and the American school system. That was more terrifying than anything else. Everyone swapping stories. You listen but don't get too involved in sharing; your brothers are both footballers, but nothing too personal. The end of the night dawns closer, and you get up, grabbing your keys. You had only drunk one pint, and it had been a few hours. So you raise your hand, catching the team's attention.

“Good night, boys; I'll see you all tomorrow.” most of them remembered that they had a home game tomorrow against Derby County. And with that, you head out the door to your car. Hearing your phone ding from your pocket, you check it to see you have three missed texts. One was from Rebbeca, and I hope you enjoyed dinner and free drinks with her. Another was from Keeley telling you that she and Roy had to leave early for personal reasons; this text was followed by several crying emojis and made you laugh. The last one was from Jamie.

Jamie Fucking Tartt

Have a good night, hope ya had fun. Drive safe

You look up and back through the window, making eye contact with him. He smiles and waves at you as you wave back and climb into your car. Sitting in your seat, you slide down as far as you physically can, holding your face in your hands, “fuckkkkk,” you force yourself upright in the driver's seat and turn over your engine before buckling up.

Your drive was quiet and fast enough. You parked your car in the garage connected to your building. And head into your building. Heading to your flat on the first floor. Entering, you kicked off your shoes and dropped your bag in the kitchen. Heading to your bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. Your nighttime routine is uninterrupted. You plug in your phone, watch, and headphones. Everything that you would need for in the morning. Getting changed into your PJs, you collapse into your bed. Curling up in on yourself and looking at the ceiling. Thinking about how much you enjoyed the team here. This team was going to get even better. It didn't take too long before you drifted off with a smile on your face. Richmond was a good move for you.

You'd fallen asleep by this point, and your phone lit up with a notification.

Brother Sunderland

We need to talk. See you in three weeks.

#slinkywrites #jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #reader insert #roy fucking kent #roy kent #ted lasso #ted lasso x reader #ted lasso series #afc richmond #Spotify

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yuriskies · 11 months ago

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A fun element to Otherside Picnic vol 8 (spoilers ahead after the break, if you're still planning to read it) is an easter egg about the location of Toriko's apartment. Actually, "easter egg" might be underselling it a bit; it has a huge amount of thematic relevance to Toriko's character. So here's the easter egg: if you follow Sorawo's description of her path to Toriko's apartment, you can actually find the building on Google Maps.

The train arrived in Nippori. Pushed by the rush of people, I got off, went down the stairs, and out the gate. I climbed the hill, out of breath, in the unrelenting rain. The wall of a graveyard continued along the left-hand side. Turning onto a side street at the top of the hill, I could see Toriko’s apartment in the middle of a residential area ...the building uses an autolock system... Getting off on the fourth floor, I headed into the hallway. The town I could see over the chest-high wall was misty in the rain.

The fun thing about this is that Sorawo's narration is just specific enough to follow along. In a way, it's an invitation to the reader to imitate Sorawo. Prior to the events of the series, she spent time tracking down the sites of ghost stories from the minor details that leaked into their narration. Tracking down where the weirdness happened placed it in context; stories from the edge of reality seem more reliable when the reality can be charted.

So, let's do it. Sorawo mentions a graveyard wall - this can only be Yanaka Graveyard, located on the west side of Nippori Station. Yanaka is located on the former grounds of the Tenno-ji Buddhist temple, and is one of Tokyo's largest cemetaries by area. It is the resting site of the final Tokugawa Shogun, as well as a who's who of Meiji-era academics, literati, and government officials.

The road along the north edge of Yanaka Graveyard goes up a steep hill, and where it reaches the top, a side road splits off on the left to go into a residential area. Going into street view shows that all of the buildings along this road are only two or three stories tall, except for a building at the very back. It's four stories tall. The building has an auto lock system at the front door, and chest high walls along the hallways to the apartments. Bingo.

The fun part of this is the name of the apartment complex: 山口マンション (Yamaguchi [Mountain Gate] Mansion).

The first part of the thematic relevance here is its relationship to Satsuki's monologue about being brought into the Otherside.

"What happens to the people who don't return?" "Who knows? They probably die, right?" "Life and death aren't the issue. Once you get to that point, that is." My brow furrowed. "What do you think mountains are made of?" Satsuki asked, smiling. "Trees and stuff?" I said without putting much thought into it. When I thought of mountains, the image that came to mind for me was the mountains of my home prefecture, Akita, covered in green. "If trees were sapient, they wouldn't think of themselves as a mountain. Only as a single tree. It's the same concept. People who go into the mountains, regardless of their mental state, are still people. But the wind that blows through the trees. The rocks. The birds. Every speck of rock covering the bedrock. The beasts, hiding in their dens. The ancient mollusks, sleeping in a geologic fold. The morning dew in a spider's web. The bacteria and microorganisms in the soil, breaking down the body. None of these individual constituting elements is the mountain on its own, yet the mountain is made up of them. So it is for those called by the mountain. Living or dead." She raised her hand, pointing all five fingers at herself. "That is how it is for me." Uncurling her fingers, she pointed at me. "That is how it is for you."

This "mountain gate" connection also ties back to Sorawo's previous visit to Toriko's apartment in File 4, where she opened the door to the apartment and encountered the ultrablue void of the Otherside. Thematically, this places Toriko's apartment at the interface between the surface world and the Otherside. The back of the building also abuts Yanaka Graveyard, and so thematically, also forms an interface between life and death.

Sorawo touches on this latter theme in the back half of File 26, when Toriko forces herself on Sorawo in her parents' bedroom. Sorawo becomes profoundly uncomfortable - equally, if not more disturbed by her surroundings than Toriko's behavior. After relocating to Toriko's bedroom, Sorawo realizes the following:

This home was a grave, and Toriko the crypt keeper—that's the image that I was getting. The sudden feeling of resistance I'd felt when we were in the bedroom might have come from that mental association. Even if it weren't the place where her parents had once slept, it was almost like flirting in front of a Buddhist altar. After entering Toriko's room, I finally got it. This room has color. It's the room of a living person.

Toriko's bedroom forms a small bubble of life in an otherwise dead house. The interface between life and death isn't simply close to Toriko's living space, it is actively defined by it. This ties in closely to Toriko's character, given that she's admitted her pushiness to do relationship things in the Otherside is driven by a fear of loss. Her mothers suddenly died, and Satsuki suddenly vanished. All she has left of them is her cherished memories, and she wants to form those memories with Sorawo, just in case.

Another element in play here is Sorawo's relationship to the Otherside. At multiple points in the series, the Otherside seems to suddenly draw closer when Sorawo gets stressed out with her thoughts about her relationship with Toriko. The most obvious example is in the hot springs when the mannequins appear immediately after Sorawo feels backed into a corner with Toriko's "cute boobs" comment, but those fears are also linked to Hasshaku-sama (both times the entity appears as Sorawo contemplates jealousy and the possibility that Toriko will be taken from her), Satsuki's surface world appearance (Kozakura implying Sorawo is manifesting Satsuki through her jealous fixation), the the love hotel girls' party (the lion dancers appear as Sorawo is trying to avoid a romantic bath with Toriko), and Satsuki's appearance in vol 7 (when Sorawo is considering where she would be without Toriko). In a sense, the terrifying aspects of the Otherside to Sorawo are closely related to the terrifying aspects of a defined relationship with Toriko.

One puzzle piece in play is a conversation from vol 7, as Sorawo, Kozakura, and Toriko are figuring out their approach to exorcize Satsuki. They discuss the concept of "atmosphere" and its ability to transmit emotions, particularly fear, and explore ways to change that atmosphere. Toriko mentions that she's mostly heard ghost stories where sex changes the atmosphere. Sorawo then elaborates to a doubtful Kozakura with the following:

No, it's true. There's stories where they were in a real bad situation, but then they started saying all sorts of lewd things and they survived. I don't tend to say that ghosts are this way or that, but sex is the source of life, so that makes it the polar opposite of ghosts, which belong to the world of the dead... At least, there's that sort of reasoning. It's an idea that's been around since ancient times.

Sorawo also goes on to mention that in some situations, the atmosphere can be overwritten, but in others, these attempts only reinforce it more strongly.

The thing about ghost stories is that for all its other indiscretions, it's an elegant genre in strange ways. There's not a lot of bawdy stories in it. Maybe that's because if you're trying to scare someone, and then sexual elements get involved, it hurts the atmosphere. Anyway, I only brought up the sex stuff as an example of how the atmosphere can get changed. It's too weak to be her weakness. There's some real nasty ghost stories with sexual elements, and there are people who've had scary experiences at love hotels.

All of these concepts start to interweave with one another when the two relocate to Toriko's bedroom. Sorawo immediately notices a change in Toriko's demeanor.

Her expression looked uneasy, without composure. She wanted me, but also feared rejection. Despite the way she'd been breathing heavily through her nose as she led me here by the hand, now Toriko was just standing there awkwardly. As if once she'd dragged me into her room she didn't know what to do anymore. Maybe as we entered what remained of the domain of the living inside this house of the dead, Toriko had come back to life.

This scene firmly links Toriko's fear of the Otherside (death) to Sorawo's fear of the Otherside (relationships). In her moms' bedroom, Toriko had been demanding, frustrated, and angry - the malicious emotional states traditionally occupied by spirits in ghost stories! However, she settles down when she enters her own bedroom. For Sorawo, passing through this interface changes Toriko from an unknowable force who inspires fear into a very human entity with whom she can sit down and discuss the uncomfortable topic of sex. In turn, this allows Toriko to an explore an aspect of their relationship that she views as fundamentally life-affirming. After this scene their Othersides are no longer totally different, or inspire mind-numbing terror, but are now operating on a common logic.

The concept of an atmosphere comes up again just after their first try at sex. Toriko has finally found a turn-on for Sorawo, and Sorawo describes the feeling in the same analytical voice she uses for ghost stories.

Until mere moments ago, our nakedness had been no more than that. Just another awkward state of undress, like when we got in the bath. Not anymore. My nudity, and Toriko's, took on entirely new meaning. One little switch inside of me got flipped, and it caused a startlingly dramatic change in my perception. It was mystifying how, as that change occurred, it swallowed up the entire atmosphere of the scene, including Toriko. Stuff like this can happen... I thought in a daze. The room was dominated by my lust which had suddenly materialized. As it overlapped with Toriko's desire, the atmosphere inside the room became something kind of extraordinary.

Prior to their second go at sex, Sorawo and Toriko take a moment to talk over their last remaining fears about sex - using their Otherside-altered body parts on one another. They come to the mutual realization that they have both been afraid of harming one another, but not of being harmed by the other. This last discussion is important, because it totally diffuses their fears around sexuality prior to indulging it. So as they travel into the deepest reaches of the Otherside, they have total trust and intimacy with one another - and an absolute lack of fear relating to what the Otherside represents to them.

The color of the calm world was blue. As we whorled together, intertwining, the ultrablue abyss spread out endlessly beneath us. We didn't fear it. Because this was our place. No one was watching us. No one knew we were here. We were the only ones watching, and the only ones who knew. So the only things Toriko and I have to fear are each other.

"Was it just me who wasn't that scared?" "Nah, it was the same for me. Everything around us was blue, but it wasn't scary." "I wonder why?" "I dunno, maybe because we were on the side that scared people?" Toriko got a mystified look on her face when I said that. "The side that scared people? You mean the Otherside's side?" "We weren't human anymore, were we, Toriko? When we were there." "...Yeah." Toriko suddenly moved closer to me and chomped down on my ear.

So to bring this full circle, this is why I love this particular easter egg, and Otherside Picnic in general. The setting is treated as an important aspect of the story, and it is carefully chosen for its emotional content and thematic relevance. Toriko's apartment isn't just some random place in an upscale neighborhood of Tokyo. It's a fundamental part of who Toriko is as a person. It's a location that lends a huge amount of thematic subtext to Otherside Picnic as a relationship story, and to the reader's interpretation of the Otherside.

Is it a metaphor for death? For queerness? For our ability to truly bridge the gap in understanding between self and non-self? The reader is invited to imitate Sorawo, and in doing so, finds a treasure trove of understanding. The little rush of discovery shows us what keeps Sorawo interested in exploring a totally alien world and trying to understand its workings.

Miyazawa's writing actively rewards readers for engaging with every little bit of the story, and it really tickles the analytical part of my brain.

#otherside picnic

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