#autisticfemale

[themaskedlady]

[talesofanautisticwoman]

Stuff i did before realizing i was autistic

Flappy hands. Lots of flappy hands and stimming

Getting frustrated when there was change in plans

Sensory issues.. espicially ballonns and crowded rooms

Not knowing how to socially interact with people my age… or people at all. So i usually played with people who were younger than me. I think i liked to play a little longer than my classmates did. The people i played with in 3rd grade were usually in 0th grade .. sooo around 4 grades above them.

Special interests! 

Picky about my food.. wanting it to be a certain way. I still do that today. I’m still the pickiest person in my family.

Taking things literally.. which can be challengeling in day to day life.

Meltdowns and shutdowns.. really uncomfortable. It also made my classmates back then uncomfortable. Because i would shout really loud in class and then cry afterwards. And i can shout like really loud, like really really loud.

Routine routine routine. There is still stuff i do which i have done since i was a kid.. like eating candy every friday.

Not being able to focus on something unless i’m having it as a special interest. So i gotta hurry when it comes to series and movies and such.

Feel free to add to the list. This has been in my drafts since oct 31, 2020... lmao.

[princesspup23]

An "Actually Autistic" coin sticker idea, if you'd like to buy one, let me know!

[stimsensory]

Masking and Socialising

https://www.stimsensory.co.uk/blog/2019/4/6/masking-and-socialising

Masking is common amongst autistic girls and women.

Masking is a common term within the autistic community for pretending to be non-autistic. It involves suppressing ‘autistic’ behaviours and forcing yourself to engage in ‘socially appropriate’ behaviours.

At first glance, some non-autistic people may consider masking a good thing. Surely it helps an autistic person get friends and engage socially, helping them get further in life, correct?

No. Masking can help you get superficial friends and relationships, but it prevents deeper relationships from developing. If you constantly have to pretend to be someone else around everyone, then they will never get to know you. It can be incredibly lonely, and can make you feel like you’re lying and faking every time you interact with someone. It makes relationships feel fake and it can lead to serious mental health issues.

Masking can be a good skill to learn. It’s useful in situations such as job interviews, because the process of interviewing for a job is not autism friendly. They don’t tell you what the questions are in advance, they try to catch you off guard, and they want to get to know ‘the real you’. Of course, the real you cannot be autistic or they won’t employ you. Only 16% of autistic people are in full time, paid work. 32% are in any kind of paid work. Compare this to the general disabled population, of which 47% are in any kind of paid work.

Consider a job interview.

You first need to get to the place (which can be very stressful for people with sensory sensitivities if they have to take public transport). You then have to greet someone, usually with a handshake and some serious direct eye contact. Right off the bat, an autistic person feels out of place and uncomfortable. You then have to follow this person you have just met into their office, and evaluate all of the social protocols. Remember that unwritten social rules are not naturally known to most autistic people, so we have to run through the ones we have manually learned. For example, am I meant to stand? Do I sit down? Where am I supposed to sit? How close should my chair be to theirs? Should I be chatting whilst moving to sit, or sit in silence? Do I need to look at them the whole time?

This is all before the interview officially starts. Then you have to be constantly aware of your facial expressions (can’t look bored, can’t look neutral, can’t look angry, can’t look sad) and whether they are correct in the current context (must appear interested when they discuss the job, must appear amused when they joke, must appear enthused when answering questions). You also have to constantly read their faces and non-verbal communication to keep track of their current emotions. Are they smiling? Do they appear bored? Are they expecting me to laugh? Are they glancing at the clock? Are they waiting for me to stop talking to burst in? Are they encouraged by what I’m saying? Are they offended? Are they smirking? And of course, ‘can they tell I’m autistic?’.

Then there is eye contact, the uncomfortable joy that it is (sarcasm). Constantly considering whether I’ve been looking too long, whether I’ve been looking away too long, whether they can tell I’m looking at their nose instead of their eyes, whether I ought to look in the left eye or the right eye or switch it up.

And after all of this, I also have to pay attention to what they are saying and respond appropriately.

This is masking.

It is exhausting.

It is (unfortunately) vital for situations such as job interviews. But imagine doing this all day, every day. This is what many autistic people, especially women, have to go through.

People always tell you ‘just be yourself! It’s good to be different’.

As many other autistic people know, what they mean is ‘it’s okay to be different! No, not like that…’

Masking is constantly encouraged, if not forced, upon autistic people. When we are bullied, we are told ‘well, maybe if you didn’t act like that they wouldn’t target you’. When we struggle to make or keep friends, we are told that it is our fault for not being as social or not socialising correctly. We are constantly pushed to ‘learn’ how to socialise, but many people don’t comprehend the amount of energy that goes into this. It’s not like if you tell me a social rule, I will be able to unconsciously use it easily like everyone else. It’s like revising for an exam. You learn some of the material at school, you look online for the rest at home. And every single social interaction you have, is like a test. You have to try to recall everything you’ve learned or been taught and put it into practice, and then learn from your mistakes in this exam.

But everyone else aces the exam, it comes easily to them. And when you make a small mistake you’re mocked and excluded. Very few are willing to just explain what you did wrong and move on.

So, masking is exhausting. It’s vital for some situations. But many people expect us to do this in all social situations. When I was younger, I masked constantly at school and basically whenever I wasn’t home or alone. Now I mask less frequently, because it is honestly exhausting and makes it very difficult to do anything else. I find people tend to assume ‘well, you could mask before, so why can’t you do it now/all the time?’. This is annoying. Just because I could pretend before, doesn’t mean I can now. I may be emotionally overwhelmed or in sensory overload. Or maybe I’m just plain tired.

Socialising is tiring. Going out with people always requires masking, and it is always tiring. I’ll often enjoy it, but I cannot do it as often as others because of this.

So please, try to accept someone for who they are, and don’t force them to mask. Act like yourself around them so they know that it’s safe to be themselves around you. If they make a social error, tell them. Don’t just mock them, or look at them oddly then talk about them behind their back. Don’t try to force eye contact. Take what an autistic person says at face value, and consider that their non-verbal communication is different than yours.

Please, don’t just assume that everyone communicates the same way and assume that, because someones non-verbal communication offended you, they intended to be rude. We communicate in different ways, but non-autistic people are never expected to learn our language. Try to consider another point of view and another way of communicating.

[embarrassedcelery]

Agamemnon

I might quite like a pill. A pill that once consumed, it makes one cope with everything.

I could decide what goes with a Kiev, and cook it without hesitation. 

Amongst many other things.

But just that one thing, would do for now.

[dmnsqrl]

#Repost @girls_autistic_journey (@get_repost) ・・・ Made by me and @introvertdoodles 🖤 #stimtoys #maskoff #autismsupport #autismacceptance #autisticadults #autism #autismmemes #autismworld #autismlove #sensory #actuallyautistic #autisticgirls #autisticfemales #autisticsupport #stim #stimming #highlysensitive #anxiety #introvert #autisticpeople #nonbinaryacceptance #selflove #chewigem #vulnerability #selfsupport #kindness #autisminformation #motivationalquotes https://www.instagram.com/p/ByC1M5gDsvqU44WRJEdO9LudzWVaia0tCt3oH00/?igshid=1j9oiua2yajgj

[gallifreyix-centuries]

Want

Simon Blackquill x AutisticFemale Reader

[laracska]

#diainternacionaldelautismo #autism #autismo #autismawareness #actuallyautustic #autisticfemales #asd As much as I hate the puzzle thingy, I liked the pictures...

[themaskedlady]

[tagaught]

To Mimic Is Human

To Mimic Is Human #autism #autisticfemales

Have you ever found yourself listening to the way you speak, or paying attention to the way you move, and suddenly realize that you’re imitating someone else?

I certainly have, the most recent of which was about five minutes before I started writing this post!

Read on, do! 🙂

[johnthebeetle]

Make day for inktober day 3, this is Jeronimo's assistant, Kate Unicornheart. She's a marksman and also autistic with high functional Aspergers and ADHD. She's bubbly, clumsy, pretty, and a cute emo girl. She's best friends with Jeronimo, Kabuto, and his love interest, Sakuranbo. Her age is 14, she and Kabuto knows that Jenorimo is Knightcrosser. She's inspired by @taylor___spliff when she was 14 and blonde. #shonen #anime #animatedseries #animation #screenplay #guyver #kamenrider #amalgamofdistortion #hungryjoker #guyverbioboosterarmor #devilman #zetman #ghostsngoblins #scifi #supernaturalgenre #tokusatsu #superherofantasy #henshin #adhd #aspergers #autisticemo #autisticgirl #autisticcharacter #autisticfemale #emo #cuteemogirl #bakumanzombiegun #psyren #mitsukubicondor