#autistic spencer

[l4ndojpg]

Whumptober 2023, Day 24: Goodbye note

fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, aaron hotchner | ship: none | trigger warnings: none | content: dad!hotch, spencer & hotch friendship, gideon left and spencer isn't dealing well, anxiety, autistic spencer | word count: 951.

“Reid.” 

Spencer looks up from his book at his boss’ voice. Hotch is standing beside Spencer’s desk, looking down at him curiously. “It’s six in the morning, what are you doing here? We don’t have a case.” 

“Sorry,” Spencer says hurriedly, closing his book and immediately bringing his fingers together to intertwine them nervously. “I woke up early and couldn’t get back to sleep. I, uh, I needed to get out of the house.” 

Hotch watches his youngest agent carefully, quick to notice how much tension Spencer is holding in his shoulders and the anxiety that’s coming off of him in waves. He’s been like this - jumpy, overcompensating - since - well. Since Gideon left. Since Gideon left his note to Spencer. Hotch understands. He knows that Spencer and Jason’s relationship had been unique, that Gideon had been the first person to take a chance on Spencer and make him feel like he’s worth more than just his knowledge. Hotch also understands that Gideon had a way of thinking himself into holes he couldn’t pull himself back out of - it was only a matter of time before he left the BAU for good. Unfortunately, that meant leaving Spencer behind too, and though Hotch understood Gideon had good intentions, he can’t help but feel increasingly angry at the older man for leaving Spencer with so little - with only a goodbye note - the way he knows Spencer’s father left too. Hotch has felt a fiery protectiveness over his youngest agent since his first day at the BAU, and it’s only increased since Hankel, and even more so since Gideon left. It’s been almost a month, and Spencer’s anxious behavior seems to only be getting worse. 

“It’s alright,” Hotch says quickly, “there’s no need to apologize. Do you want a cup of coffee?” 

“Sure,” Spencer nods, looking down at his fingers as he taps them together silently, “that’d be great.” 

Hotch makes his way through the empty bullpen to the coffee machine, and prepares two mugs, one in the cup he knows Spencer likes best. He brings the streaming mugs back over to Spencer’s desk, and draws Morgan’s chair over to the desk to sit down with the other agent. 

“Thanks,” Spencer says gratefully, taking the cup and blowing on it slightly to cool it down. He takes a sip and smiles. “You make it just how I like it.” 

“I know my agents,” Hotch says. “I know how they like their coffee, when they need time off, what they’re best at…” he trails off and puts down his cup, watching Spencer carefully. “I know when they’re struggling.” 

The tension that had dissipated slightly when Hotch had handed him his coffee comes back to Spencer’s shoulders instantly. He freezes where he’s about to take another sip, and his eyes travel away from Hotch. He puts his cup down carefully and folds his arms tightly around him. 

“I’m fine,” he says automatically, and Hotch sighs, placing his cup down too. 

“You’re functioning,” Hotch says gently, watching as Spencer fights against himself not to tug on his hair or dig his nails into his arms, “that doesn’t mean you’re fine. I know what Gideon meant to you, and to leave the way he did… I know that, and all this change, can’t be easy on you.” 

“I…” Spencer grimaces, avoiding looking at Hotch, “I’m okay, really.” 

Hotch sighs - quietly, so that Spencer doesn’t take it the wrong way and think he’s exasperated with him. “I appreciate that you may believe that,” he says, “but it doesn’t take a profiler to see how anxious you are, and how much you miss him.” 

“I don’t miss him,” Spencer says bluntly, giving in and digging his nails into his arms, and for a person that is so kind and compassionate most of the time, Hotch is surprised by the bitterness in Spencer’s words. 

“No?” 

“He left me,” Spencer whispers, staring down at his lap, words tinged with anger, “a note. I don’t miss him. I hate him. I hate him,” he says the words with force, but his voice cracks. 

“Spencer,” Hotch says softly, as the younger agent swallows back his tears. “You are allowed to hate him and miss him. I imagine all of the emotions you are feeling are incredibly overwhelming right now. Just know that whatever they are, it’s okay. You’re allowed to feel them.” 

These words are clearly exactly what Spencer needs to hear, because he looks up at Hotch finally, tears threatening to stream down his cheeks at any moment. 

“Really?” he whispers, and he sounds so young. He is so young. Hotch presses his lips together in frustration, cursing the world for being so cruel to such a kind person from such a young age. 

“Really,” Hotch says, seriously. “I don’t know what you were told when you were younger, or what conclusions that big brain of yours has come to on its own, but your feelings are perfectly valid, Reid.” 

Spencer sniffs and wipes his eyes, nodding, and after a moment, he finally speaks, making eye contact with Hotch for the first time since the beginning of the conversation. “You know, my brain is no bigger than the average human’s. Did you know, people with a higher IQ often have fewer connections between neurons in the cerebral cortex, though?” 

Hotch smiles. “No, I didn’t know that. That’s amazing.” 

“I know!” Spencer says eagerly, and Hotch is pleased to see him drop his hands from his arms and pick up his mug, gesturing with the other. That’s the Spencer he knows. “And a few small functional brain-scanning studies suggest that people who are of higher IQ have lower cerebral metabolic rates during mentally active conditions…”

[venusbyline]

GUYS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! I NEED TO RIDE THIS MAN IMMEDIATELY

[bobadiin]

last day of autism awareness month please be aware of him

[0o-junebug-o0]

First Meeting

summary: You're having difficulty with some code so you stop by Penelope's house for help, unaware that she has a guest. Spencer takes one look at you and is immediately head over heels.

genre: fluff

cw: meet cute (is it a meet cute?) completely gn!reader (reader is not described at all), no use of y/n, autistic!spencer (because every spencer is autistic!spencer), season 1 spencer, university/college student reader, talk about research and coding, pov switch from reader to spencer

wordcount: 1.5k

a/n: this is an actual error I had this summer when writing my spectra analysis code

You lean back in your chair with a sigh, scowling at the code you’re trying to write. You’re still relatively new to coding, the first time you ever took a class on it was just under two years ago, so this code has taken you significantly more time to write than it would have taken Penelope. But you’ve written it. You read through the code again and rerun it. Everything runs fine, the code should work, but it doesn’t. 

You rub your eyes and groan with frustration. You should be able to get a wavelength solution out of this. The professor you’re doing research with told you what you need to do to get the wavelength solution and then how to use it to find the redshift of the lensed galaxy and the foreground lensing galaxy, but nothing is lining up!

You’ve opened the data, plotted the variation in flux for each line in the image, fit a Gaussian to it to get the brightest point, and converted the pixel value of that point to vacuum wavelength, but none of the wavelengths you’re finding match up with what lines should be present in the spectra for this lamp type!

You briefly consider emailing your professor but decide against it. Even though he told you that asking him things wouldn’t bother him and that it’s his job, you don’t want to take up more of his time than you already have. 

You look around your apartment for anything that might help. Your eyes land on your keychain and the spare key Penelope gave you because she enjoys it when you stop by. You quickly shut your laptop, tucking it under your arm, grab your keys, slip on a pair of shoes, and make your way down the hall to Penelope’s apartment, not bothering to lock the door behind you. 

_____

Spencer sits awkwardly on one of Garcia’s kitchen stools, tapping his fingers on the Tardis mug she had filled with tea and given him. He’s not exactly sure why Garcia invited him over. She said she wanted to bond, but they’ve known each other for almost two years now, and Spencer considers her a good friend, so he doesn’t really know what bonding entails. So far, Garcia has just been bustling around her kitchen preparing snacks and drinks for their Doctor Who marathon.

The lock clicks and Spencer’s head whips toward the door just in time for it to burst open. Spencer freezes and stares at you in awe and confusion. 

“Penny!” you cry, your voice a mixture of a shout and a whine. 

Garcia calls your name with a surprised look. “What happened? Are you alright?”

“What?” you ask. Then you wave your hand flippantly. “Yeah I’m fine, I just need help with some code.” Your eyes land on Spencer and he can feel his heart rate increase. He really hopes his face isn’t as red as it feels. 

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you had someone over,” you say. “I can, um, I can come back later.”

Spencer watches as your posture stiffens slightly and you start to fiddle with your keychain. 

Spencer opens his mouth to reassure you but Garcia beats him to it. “No, no, it’s fine,” she says. “I’ve been wanting you two to meet anyway.” You shoot Spencer a small, awkward smile and wave from across the room when Garcia shares your name. When she introduces him, your eyes widen and you look toward Garcia with an expression Spencer can’t decipher and mouth something to her that makes her laugh loudly. 

Spencer can feel himself flushing at your reaction and takes a sip of his tea to hide his face.

“Anyway!” Garcia says cheerfully. “Do you mind if I help them real quick?”

“Go ahead,” Spencer responds, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. It’s difficult with you there, though, all his thoughts suddenly seem much harder to grasp. Like your presence is forcing them aside. 

Your eyes seem to linger on him for a moment before you head over to the counter and set your laptop down. “Right,” you mutter, opening it and entering the password. Spencer listens intently as you describe to Garcia what your code should be doing and he can’t help but smile at the clear passion in your voice. It sends butterflies to his stomach. 

“What do you study?” Spencer blurts out. 

You close your mouth and cock your head at him for a moment. “I’m, uh, I’m studying astrophysics. Specifically strong gravitational lensing. I’ve already made preliminary models of the system and I’m just working on analyzing the spectra now.”

Spencer nods and leans over to look at your code. 

“Do you want to help Penny find the issue?” you ask. You sound a bit nervous and Spencer looks up and smiles what he hopes is a soothing smile.

“I would if I could. I really don’t know how to code, though.”

“Seriously?” you ask. Spencer cocks his head at the tone of surprise in your voice. “Sorry, it’s just that Penny has told me a lot about you and about how you’re a genius and have three PhDs, which is insanely impressive by the way, so I guess I’m just surprised you don’t know something.”

“There’s a lot I don’t know,” Spencer admits. “Coding and other technological things are some of it. I don’t know too much about astrophysics either.” That’s not exactly true but it isn’t a lie either. He’s read papers on several astrophysical topics but he’s never come across one on strong lensing before. But the truth of the statement is irrelevant, the only reason he said it was to find an excuse to spend more time with you.

You smile and Spencer’s stomach feels like it does a backflip. “I won’t be much help teaching you how to code, Penny would be better for that, but I can tell you about some astro stuff at some point.”

“Alright, lovebirds,” Garcia teases and Spencer’s face burns. “Let’s focus.” You nod, clearly also a bit embarrassed, and turn back to your laptop.

“How about I go line by line and tell you what it should do and you let me know if something doesn’t do what I think it does,” you say. Garcia nods and both she and Spencer follow along as you point to and describe each line of code. You get to a printed image of the data file you’re analyzing before Garcia stops you.

“Can you open the file on your computer?” she asks.

You nod and open the file in a new application and move it so it’s side by side with the image in your code. “Wait,” you mutter, glancing back and forth between the two images. “Is that seriously the issue?” Spencer leans forward to get a closer look, the x-axes of the images are flipped. 

You throw your head back with a groan and change the rotation of the file in your code. “I swear, if this works,” you growl. The clear exasperation in your tone makes Spencer chuckle slightly. 

You rerun the code and compare several of the outputs to a list of wavelengths before groaning again and letting your head fall onto the counter. “I hate Python,” you grumble. “Why does it have to switch the axes!” 

Garcia laughs and pats you on the back. You raise your head off the counter and tap your forehead against her shoulder in a gesture Spencer assumes expresses gratitude. “Thanks, Penny,” you sigh. “You’re the best.”

“Of course I am!”

“Oh, and Spencer,” you say, turning to look at him. “We should get lunch sometime. I can tell you about astrophysics and you can tell me about all the crazy things you know.”

“I-I would love that,” Spencer stutters, unable to speak clearly with you looking into his eyes. He's hardly able to wrap his head around the fact that someone as beautiful as you would want to spend more time with him. Spencer's not sure whether you’re asking him on a date or just to go out as friends, but he doesn’t care either way as long as he gets to spend more time with you.

“Great!” you say happily. You stand and cross the room to quickly grab one of Garcia’s pens before returning. You hold the fluffy pink pen with a smile on your face and hold out your hand for his. “May I?” you ask. 

Spencer’s eyes widen and he nods, setting his hand in yours despite his usual aversion to touch. The contact makes his heart feel like it’s about to burst from his chest. You scrawl your number across the back of his hand before handing Spencer the pen and holding out your hand for him to do the same. He writes his number on your hand and watches in a sort of daze as you gather your computer and keys and wave goodbye before leaving.

Spencer jumps slightly as Garcia ruffles his hair. He looks over at her to see a knowing smile on her face. Spencer blushes and hides his face in his hands. “Shut up,” he grumbles, embarrassed.

“No way,” she laughs. “Derek’s going to have a field day with this. Boy genius has a crush!”

_____

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

Taglist!: fill out this form if you want to be tagged when I post fics

@daryls-crossbow16 @roboticsuccubus83 @nemobee777 @dorcas4meadowes @spenciesslut @Idfk17 @pleasantwitchgarden @angeliccss @novaana @moonysreid @cynbx @dead-universe @starlighta

[spidersdad]

Kidnapper: we have your son.

Hotch: but my son is with me right now.

Kidnapper: ..shit. then who is this? he asked to pour him 250 ml of chocolate milk because I quote “statistically-

Hotch: fuck they have Reid. BABY, HOLD ON I’M COMING!

[pineapple-psychic]

imagine some guy calls in a bunch of tips and it seems really suspicious so you take him in for questioning and then after literally telling you how he figures out all your cases before you he just straight up tells you hes a psychic. but actually he and his friend are neurodivergent as hell and have really weird special interests. thats psych. what do you mean of course we watched the same show.

[spencewalterreid]

what if…don’t hear me out on this, i’m sleep deprived and projecting…reader is something of a favorite student of spencer’s whom he confronts about the, erm, suspiciously increasing bandages he’d been noticing on their leg or smt? he’d probably frantically point out the abundance of arteries there at some point 😭 please ignore this so hard if you don’t feel like it lmao

In The Morning, I'll Make Cereal

Summary: When Spencer notices you've been in a daze, he checks on you and finds bandages on your arm.

Pairing: Professor Reid / Reader (p)

Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Suicidality, self harm, scars, surviving an attempt

Word Count: 2,262

Author's Note: I loved this prompt. I hope you appreciate my interpretation of it:) it wasn't very specific but I did what I could!

It had been a long fucking week. Finally, at long last, it's your last class on Friday, But Professor Reid has been rambling for the last two hours. This class is only supposed to be an hour and forty-five minutes, but good God, this man can drone. Generally, you wouldn't mind it. On a better day, you would relish in his tangents, on and on about victimology and how parents not kissing their children enough makes them kill people or whatever, you're just not into it today.

Squinting, you scratch a few more lines of graphite into the head of the portrait you're drawing in the margin of your notebook, trying to shape the hair properly. It's giving you fits. You knock your knee against the side of your desk absentmindedly to the rhythm of the music in your wired headphones.

Spencer pauses mid-sentence, his brow furrowing as he sees you. There’s at least a hundred kids in this room, so he hadn’t noticed it before now. His amber eyes scan the classroom as they always do, but keep returning to you; head in your notebook and your bouncing knee. He sighs softly, rubbing his temple before continuing his lecture.

"…and as we've discussed, the lack of proper familial affection in the formative years can lead to a host of psychological issues that may manifest in aggressive or criminal behavior later in life. Take, for instance, the case study of Ted Bundy, who…"

Spencer's voice drones on, the words blurring together as you tune out, focused on the intricate details of the portrait taking shape beneath your pencil. You lean forward slightly, squinting as you shade a particularly difficult shadow, your tongue poking out the corner of your mouth in concentration.

"That's all. Thank you for your patience, I know today ran long. I'll see you all on Monday," Reid says, his gaze lingering on you. You’re always so attentive, hanging on every word. What the hell? He waits a moment at his desk, looking over the notes the students had dropped in the tray before leaving, but keeps glancing up. A few minutes pass and you’re still scribbling away, making no move to pack up. His face pinches in worry.

“Hey, class is over now. We just ran a bit over today," he says, projecting his voice to reach you.

Spencer stands up, straightening his suit jacket as he walks over to where you sit when you don’t reply, still scribbling away. He glances down at the notebook, his eyebrows raising as he recognizes the portrait beginning to take shape.

"I didn't realize you had such skill," Spencer comments, unable to hide the note of surprise in his voice. He leans down a bit closer to get a better look.

You don't reply at all until he leans down and you finally notice his presence. Your pencil scrapes across the portrait when you damn-near jump out of your skin. "Jesus!" you gasp, then place your hand over your heart. "You scared me." The corner of your lip twitches up into a smile, and caught up in your embarrassment that he saw the portrait of him, you didn't even realize that your long-sleeve shirt rode down a bit, revealing a bandage wrapped firmly around your forearm.

Spencer takes a step back, looking mildly alarmed at having startled you so severely. "I apologize, that was not my intent. I didn't mean to frighten you." His gaze drifts down to your wrist, his eyes widening briefly as he notices the bandage. "Are you… are you alright? That looks bad," Spencer asks, taking a knee and reaching for your hand to take it in his to assess the damage before you subtly pull it away.

Your heart falls through the bottom of your ribs, clashes against your intestines, and tumbles straight out your ass. "Uhm." Words. Form them. Hang on, do I even know any? Shit. You force a wry chuckle, dropping your hands to your lap and wringing them together, knocking your sleeves down enough to cover your wrists again. "I just." Ahem. "I just dropped a knife last night when I was making dinner. No biggie." Please, Please believe me. You thank any God that might be out there for having everyone else clear out before he approached you.

“Okay,” he agrees with a nod, letting you believe that he buys it. “Uh, you should be more careful, though,” he continues hesitantly. He reaches for your arm again and you let him. He pushes up your sleeve, and you swallow an argument. “Right here,” he says, dragging a finger gently along your forearm, the inner part of the left side, along the outer part of the bone. “This is the ulnar artery. You’ve got a lot of smaller veins in your arm, too, that could be dangerous if nicked, but that could have been really bad.” You don’t tell him how close his finger was to the gash made only hours ago.

Spencer wanted to pretend not to notice all the smaller scars dotted along the base of your wrist, and a couple on your hands that you could more believably wave off as accidents. He rests his elbow on your lower thigh, above your knee and a bit inward, making you wince. Again, he doesn’t say anything. Not yet.

“This,” he draws another line, this time down the side of your arm, “is the anterior condylar vein, or ACV. Easier to hit because it’s more shallow.” Spencer sighs, dragging a thumb across one of the smaller, now raised and white nicks. “I didn’t want to say anything, but-”

“I know,” you interject. “You have to report this. I get it.” The beginnings of tears nudge at the back of your throat, agitating a lump into it, and threaten to fill your eyes. “It’s okay,” you add, yanking your cheeks up into a suggestion of a smile.

The professor huffs again, revoking his touch and shifting from a one-legged kneel to a squat, resting his elbows on his own knees and looking up at you. “I’m not going to report you. I don’t think-” He runs a hand through his dark curls and puts it back on his leg. “That has only exacerbated the issue, in my experience. I need you to know… to know that I care.”

You shift uncomfortably, staring at your fingernails as you drag dirt out from under them. “Okay,” you mumble. To say you believed him in the slightest would be a falsity of the highest order.

“I do,” Reid insists as though he read your mind, craning his neck down and chin up to catch your eyes under the curtain of your hair. “I do care. I know you’ve been going through something, and I’m sorry, but I’m here.”

Spencer reaches out to gently tilt your chin up with his fingers, his thumb brushing away a stray tear that managed to escape. The empathy in his eyes makes your stomach churn. He’s just so genuine.

"Listen to me. I know you're hurting. I know you feel alone. But you're not alone right now, do you understand that? You have me, and I promise I will help you through this, any way I can. My offer to talk stands, anytime, anywhere. My door is always open to you."

“I heard you.”

“No, I know you heard me. I asked if you understood me. There’s a difference.”

Your lip wobbles against your will and you know you’re about to cry. You squeeze your eyes shut and turn your head away from him, a last ditch effort to hide your face. “I can’t-”

He leans in, pulling you into him, his voice lowering to a low, soothing murmur. "Please, don't let anyone else see these scars. Not until you're ready. I need you to take care of you. You're stronger than this. You have so much potential, so much to offer the world. Don't throw that away. Not now, not ever.”

Sobs wrack your body, and as the breaths leave your lungs in short, desperate hiccups, his embrace is an anchoring force. “You’re okay,” he whispers. “You’re okay. This isn’t your fault.” One of Spencer’s hands card through your hair, gently massaging your scalp. “I’m here, alright?” He doesn’t expect you to answer.

“I almost killed myself last night,” you sob, pulling away with great reluctance.

Okay, he really wasn’t expecting that. The look in his eyes, despite his trepidation, encourages you to elaborate. He only now notices how pale you are, and the dots connect.

“I–” You take a deep breath, centering yourself before you continue. “I had a spiral. I called- called everyone. My mom, my best friend, even the fucking hotline. And you know what? It was busy,” you laugh incredulously. “The suicide hotline was busy!”

He doesn’t get a word in, you’re too busy in a tear-fueled tangent. “And I- I cleaned my room. Spotless. I made my bed, and put on a good outfit, and I wrote a letter, and I, uh-” you smile, and it’s sad, a macabre thing. “I knew about the arteries.” Your spine straightens. “Anyway. I ended up sleeping in, so I guess that’s good, but when I woke up… it felt… it felt so dull.”

“What do you mean?”

“It felt small. My arms had scabbed over, miraculously, and I got up. I wrapped them, and I brushed my teeth, and I made cereal. I got in the car and drove 120 on the highway to get here, and I didn’t crash. I jaywalked across a busy street and nothing happened, and I just-” a shaky breath flowed over your lips and you slumped down in your seat. “I failed, and the world kept turning. I could have died last night, should have, and… nothing changed. Nothing at all.”

Spencer listens intently, his face twisted in something that looks an awful lot like heartbreak. When you finish speaking, he takes a deep breath, choosing his next words carefully.

"I'm so sorry you felt you reached that point, but I'm nothing short of relieved at your survival. You did the right thing by reaching out, even if the support you needed wasn't immediately available. That takes courage and strength."

He places his hand on your shoulder, warmth seeping through your jacket, and squeezes. "Feeling small and insignificant after a crisis like that is completely normal. It's a common reaction, but it's a lie. Your life has value. Your existence matters, and the world changing or not is not a reflection of your worth."

Spencer studies you like at any moment, you could fade into smoke. "You didn't fail last night. You survived. That's not a small thing, it’s significant. It means you have the strength to keep going, to keep fighting. And I will be here to support you in that fight, in whatever way you need. It means,” he pauses to gently jab a finger at your chest, above your heart. “It means that this doesn’t care about your feelings, and I apologize if that sounds harsh. When you… When you did that, your baroreceptors activated, which monitors your blood vessels, and caused your heart to start taking blood away from your limbs to keep it in your core, keep you warm. That caused vasodilation and a decrease in heart rate, which lowered your blood pressure back to a survivable rate.”

“What’s your point, Professor?” you ask, rolling your eyes in frustration.

“My point,” he continues firmly, “Is that your body is stronger than your mind sometimes. It fought to keep you alive, even when you felt you wanted to let go. That's a testament to your innate will to live, to survive. It's not a reflection of your feelings or wishes, but it's a part of you that can't be ignored."

Spencer takes your hand, covering it with both of his. "Please don't dismiss your survival as insignificant. It matters, and I believe it's a sign that you have the strength to keep going, to keep living. I know it's hard, and I know grief and pain can feel all-consuming at times, but you have so much life ahead of you. Your mind and your body are connected, but they are also their own beings in a way. Your body has carried you your whole life. Your blood cells have fought sickness, your muscles have soothed their own aches, and your bones have held you up. Your body isn’t attacking you, but you’re attacking it. How is that fair?”

You’re not sure what to say to that.

Spencer looks at you intently, pressing your hand in his tightly to ground you. "I know this is difficult to process. I know you're hurting. But I need you to understand that your body and your mind are not your enemies. They are part of you, and they need your care and compassion. I’m not going to make you promise me you’ll seek help, or that you’ll stop. I know it isn’t that simple. But I will ask this,” he says, and your heart contracts. “Be kind to yourself. Have compassion. Try to put things in perspective. You deserve so much better than this.”

“Can you feel that?” he asks, tilting his head to your hand.

You consider it, and you notice the steady throbbing from his unforgiving grip. “Yeah.”

“You’re gonna be okay,” he whispers, and the sweet look in those beautiful brown eyes almost makes you believe it. “You’re gonna save your life, and I’m gonna cheer you on.”

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

Emily Prentiss being straight is about as believable as Spencer Reid being neurotypical.

[autistic-crypt1d]

[esote-rika]

not a mask, but a reflection | Spencer Reid

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Waldorf!Reader Category: idk hurt/comfort?? flangst? something like that, I'm sorry I truly don't know how to categorize this Summary: The BAU ladies insist on a makeover for Spencer, so you decide to indulge them by promising to take him shopping. It doesn't go as either of you expected, but it allows a chance for the two of you to form a deeper bond. Content: reader’s outfit is described, reader is based on Blair Waldorf in background, and personality– so you're rich!! and fashionable!! And snarky, but in a ride or die sunshine x sunshine protector kind of way, early season 2 glasses!Spencer crushing on reader, implied autistic Spencer, brief mention of his bullying, lots of dialogue!!! especially about fashion advice (PSA to wear whatever you want!!) Word count: 2.8k A/N: I'm back on my Blair Waldorf-reader agenda. I'm mainly writing these because of my own crackship, but I tried very hard not to describe any specific appearance stuff for the reader (aside from what ur wearing) so it’s as immersive and universal as possible! Styling in film and TV fascinates me and I wanted to explore Spencer’s character through clothes. ALSO! I incorporate a Blair Waldorf quote into the conversation that goes “Fashion is the most powerful art there is. It’s movement, design, and architecture all in one. It shows the world who we are and who we’d like to be.” pls know I didn't come up with it, the Gossip Girl writers did. It's from S4E13 specifically.

Saturdays are usually meant for curling up on his couch to read his favorite books, or marathon obscure foreign films. Alone, always alone, Spencer Reid has grown used to the feeling; accepted it, enjoyed it, even. He wouldn’t have survived all these years if he didn't appreciate his own company, after all. 

However, today is different. He’s expecting company, which is unusual enough, but he’s expecting you of all people. And it’s for such a silly thing too— a makeover. Something straight out of a cliche high school movie. It had started at work, during a case, a passing comment made by one of the people being interviewed. Something about looking like he’s playing dress up, spoken so softly he’d been willing to pretend to ignore it. 

But you heard it, had snapped at the man in annoyance about respect and propriety. At the jet, you had snapped at him about wearing clothes that fit better, and of course Morgan and JJ had to get involved, and Garcia squealed about a makeover over the phone. He hadn’t expected you to accept; when you did, he considered several ways to get out of it: pretend to have a date (implausible), pretend to get sick, just don’t show up. But then you said you’ll meet him at his apartment and his world seemed to come crashing down.

“I need to see what I'm working with before I dive headfirst into this,” was your reply when he protested. It makes sense, of course, but he's not happy about accepting you into his space. It's curated for him and his comfort, and he dreads the idea of casting your shrewd, critical gaze over his design choices. If he's less of a coward, he would admit that a small part of him desires your approval. Craves it, needs it, so much it makes his skin crawl.

So that’s why his Saturday morning is spent cleaning; straightening books, hiding the case files strewn about. He doesn’t want to give you any ammunition to tease him with. Having to undergo a makeover is embarrassing enough.

It reeks of bleach when he opens the door for you. The wrinkle of your nose has no business being so cute when it's obviously done to express disgust.

“What is that smell?”

“Hello to you too,” he can't keep the sarcasm from his tone as he steps aside. 

You saunter in heels even though this is meant to be a casual get together. They click against his hardwood floors until you reach his rug, the thick fabric dulling out the noise. “Did you bleach your entire place?” 

His expression is sheepish as he closes the door, “I figured I'd clean.”

“You sure you're not hiding a murdered body in here?” you walk straight into the middle of his apartment and look around. He winces as he waits for your verdict.

“I’m not, I just - you’re so -”

“I’m so?”

“Particular.” I don’t want to disappoint you, but he clamps his mouth shut before the words escape. Having you come in for a makeover already isn’t doing anything for his confidence. In fact, it just confirms his suspicions. Something is wrong with him, despite all the attempts at propriety and flattery otherwise. The BAU sees it, you see it, and you’re here to fix it. He swallows the lump in his throat, and with it, his pride and the tiny hint of resentment. 

You are trying to help, he reminds himself. 

Maybe it’s his hopeless optimism, maybe it’s desperation to seem normal for once, but it’s enough to surrender to your knowledgeable hands. 

He lets his eyes take you in, allows himself a moment to linger on the details of your ensemble. The picture of coordination, as usual; shoes and bag the same shade of rich brown, the barrettes in your hair matching the pale blue trimming along the edges of the sundress you’re wearing. This is you dressed down, he knows, but somehow you manage to outdress him. 

“I’m not even going to ask what you mean by that,” your eyes roll, before landing to one of the doors in his apartment, “Where’s your bedroom?”

He sputters, “My - uh, why?”

“I’m assuming that’s where you keep your clothes?” You look at him like he’s dumb, and he turns bright pink. “I told you, I can’t take you shopping before I see what you already own.”

He can’t believe he fully didn’t realize it meant letting you into his bedroom. But then again, his brain has the tendency to turn to mush when he’s speaking with you. “Right,” he nods, scrambling to his bedroom. All of his anxieties about his living room and the overwhelming amount of books seem distant now; you hadn’t even commented on them. Instead, this new one arises, bubbles in his stomach. Showing you his bedroom is so much more intimate. The space he sleeps in, where he’s most vulnerable.

A space no other woman has ever even seen. 

He feels your presence behind him, smells the distinct loveliness of the perfume you like to call your signature scent. Of course you don’t ask for permission. He’s found quickly that you’re used to taking and having what you want, used to the world yielding to you instead of the other way around. 

Your heels make sharp taps against the floor. Combined with your perfume, it’s already obvious that you’re making your mark in his room, his haven. He imagines the fragrance will linger when you leave, and it makes his ears burn with a longing that knocks the wind from his chest. The door remains open, and he’s thankful that he isn’t completely caged in his bedroom with you. 

“Here’s my, uh, where I keep my clothes.” he hastily opens his closet, relief flooding his body as he sees it’s not that messy. Everything is ironed and pressed, although some of his sweaters are haphazardly piled together. He hopes he won’t have to show you the mess that is his sock drawer. 

You step up beside him, bare arm brushing against his. Brows furrowed in concentration as you rifle through his clothes. He steps back to give you more room to work with, although it’s more for his sake than yours. Your proximity is making him a little dizzy. He finds himself slumping on his bed, watching your movements. You’re approaching the task at hand with the same meticulous acuity as you would in a crime scene. Focused. Detail oriented, even when doing something so insignificant.

He’s not sure what to expect. He’s bought his clothes based on what he sees other men wear, relying on his observation skills, and the clothing guidelines given by HR to deduce what is considered appropriate. His father wore dress shirts a lot, back when his family was still intact. Hotch and Morgan wear suits, but those have always felt too formal to use on a daily basis. He opts for cardigans and sweater vests to keep him warm instead, because they’re softer, less restrictive. They remind him of Diana, the things she would wear back when she could still teach. He hopes you don’t make him get rid of them.

“You wear a lot of light browns,” your voice lifts him out of his anxious stupor, “You have to give that up.” 

He frowns in confusion, “What’s wrong with wearing light brown?”

“You’re too pale, they make you look even more sickly. But if you must wear brown, lean into this shade instead,” you hold up a dark brown blazer that he actually really likes. He smiles, happy that it got your seal of approval. You turn to him, eyes narrowed, “And your dress shirts are too big, look at where the shoulder seam falls.” 

He blinks in surprise as your hand comes to touch an inch past the edge of his shoulder, pinching the fabric, “It should be up here. You’re too slim for an oversized look, it just swamps your frame. If you’re going to be wearing them, they have to fit you better.” 

He nods, feeling a little out of his depth, “How do you know all of this?”

“Years of consuming Cosmopolitan and Vogue.” You turn back to the closet, he frowns slightly. The words mean nothing to him, and he flinches when he hears you sigh.

“Fashion magazines?” you prompt, glancing back over your shoulder.

“Ah,” He nods, lips pursed, “I can't say those are on my reading lists.”

“Obviously not, otherwise you'd know not to wear,” You gesture at his entire ensemble, nose wrinkling once again, “This.”

It doesn’t really occur to him what the problem is as he looks down at his checked button down. “It’s a nice shirt.” he says, although he can see your point now; it’s too big. 

“Reid, you look like you’re about to start proselytizing about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ.” you say, stepping away from his wardrobe and stopping in front of him. 

Your teasing makes his cheeks burn. Or maybe it’s your sudden closeness, your hands at his buttons, “Um, what–” he’s stiff, memories rushing of being held down, clothes forcibly ripped—

“Relax,” you step back after undoing the top button. The annoyed scoff surprisingly gives him some comfort, reminds him it’s you, he’s here with you, “There, that’s better. Don’t button it up all the way.”

“Why not?”

“I told you, it makes you look like you’re cosplaying a minister.” He shifts under your gaze, feeling exposed, even though he’s fully dressed. But that’s exactly what you’re judging, after all, his clothes. There’s nowhere to hide. “Why are you so tense, Reid? It’s not going to make you look like a fool, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Why? Where does he even begin? The fact that he’s never had a woman in his room before, and it’s making him feel like he’s about to implode? His memories of being stripped naked for all the school to see, humiliated, fueling the irrational fear of letting go of his clothes, the things he’s comfortable wearing. And for what? In order to be fashionable? To seem normal, to be fixed? 

He settles for a half truth, the words mumbled and embarrassed, “I like my clothes.”

To his surprise, your eyes soften, “Okay. And?”

“I like how I dress.”

“You don’t want to change your style?”

He looks down and shakes his head, feeling a little silly. How can he explain it to someone like you, who probably would have been one of his tormentors when he was back in school? It’s sick, this desire to be close to you, to be accepted by you as though being in your orbit would lessen his eccentricity. He thought he’d left it behind in high school, had grown out of it, but it’s there, recognizable and refusing to let him rest. 

“You know you didn’t have to say yes to this,” the bed dips as you sit beside him, “It was a silly thing the girls and I thought would be fun, but if it’s making you uncomfortable, I’ll stop and we could just, I dunno, go for ice cream instead.”

“No, I - I do, I just… don’t want to change completely.” It's almost pathetic how something as simple as clothes is making him spiral, “I like how I dress, even if you guys make fun of it. It’s comfortable. I get really cold hands, and the sweaters help, and - and the satchel is convenient even if you say it clashes with my outfits or whatever.”

Your hand rests on his forearm, and his rambling halts immediately.

“Then I won’t stop you from wearing grandpa-chic,” the lightness in your voice makes him smile, “This is why I wanted to see what you had. I wasn’t about to start from scratch, and there’s obviously a reason you gravitated towards these pieces. I wouldn’t force you into something you hate, that sort of defeats my fashion philosophy.”

“Your fashion philosophy?” He's smiling now as he listens to you.

“I believe that the whole point of fashion and clothing is to help reflect what you are on the inside, not mask it.” You reply, hand finding his own. He allows it, finding something warm and soothing in the touch of your hand, silencing the usual urge to pull away in fear of germs. “And, anyway, I think your clothes make you look really intellectual, so if you like them, you have the pieces in your closet already, it’s just a matter of styling them better.” 

You squeeze his hand, but he could have sworn you did it to his actual heart. 

He watches as you return to his closet again, rummaging through the clothes. You hold up a white button down and a navy blue cardigan, head tilted to the side, teeth worrying the plushness of your lower lip, “Like this; this is a nice combination, and it’ll work better with your complexion. Try it on.” they’re tossed over to him, landing on his lap.

You’re turning away from him, still going through his clothes—allowing him privacy. He appreciates that. He scrambles out of his current clothes, his skin prickling as he thinks about the fact that he’s in a room with a woman alone, getting undressed. No. You’re a friend and a coworker doing him a favor, he should get his head out of the gutter. Hurriedly, he puts the suggested ensemble on.

“Uh, it’s — you can turn around.”

He holds his breath as your eyes rove over his figure, still with the same sharpness he’s used to, but blunted by the small smile playing across your lips. “Yeah, that’s better. Navy’s a great color for you.” you have a stack of his shirts in your hand, all of them patterned and printed, “I’m sorry, but these… have to go. Or at least don’t wear them to work. The prints are ugly, no offense.”

He chuckles, taking the shirts from you, “Not wearing ugly prints to work anymore, got it.”

“Yeah, keep the funky patterns on your ties.” you reach up, brushing lint and dust off the cardigan, “Your shirts should remain plain, solid colors; you have a lot of nice sweater vests and cardigans, it’ll be easier to match them together if your shirts are in more basic colors.” 

Committing your words to memory is easy enough. Rules. He likes rules, but they need to make sense to him, otherwise their arbitrariness will simply frustrate him. “Why?”

“Why what?”

So far, you’re being so receptive to his questions, it might actually make him cry. It’s a new feeling, being the one who’s floundering. Not being the smartest, most knowledgeable person. How exciting, he decides, getting to learn in an area he’s never been able to fully understand on his own. He clarifies, “Why can’t I match the cardigans and sweaters to, uh, colorful shirts?” 

It’s a while before you answer, moving around to wind a tie across his neck. Your words are thoughtful when you speak, “It’s a visual balance. Too many colors and patterns can look heavy and distracting— which is okay, you know, but time and place is always something to consider when you’re dressing up. And you’re going to work, so it’s better to err on the side of caution and wear things that are more… sleek.” Your hands are deft as they tighten the tie, tucking it into the cardigan. “So now that I know what sorts of clothes you like to wear, it’s a matter of finding the right color combinations and cuts that fit your body. Here, see for yourself.”

You push him forward until he’s in front of his mirror, and indeed he does look… better. Still himself, still familiar, but the contrast of the navy cardigan against his pale skin somehow brings out more warmth from his cheeks and makes his hair seem less dull. Visual balance, you said. “Like art,” he murmurs.

“Exactly,” your smile is proud, peeking from behind his shoulder, “Fashion is the most powerful art there is. It’s movement, design, and architecture all in one. It shows the world who we are and who we’d like to be… and this is showing the world that you’re one attractive nerd.”

He laughs at that. There’s a lightness in his chest as he realizes he doesn’t have to change everything. “I think I get it.” he replies, meeting your eyes in the mirror.

“Of course you do, you’re a genius.” A slap on the back, one filled with warm intimacy, “Now, I did promise the team a makeover, so now that I know what sort of stuff you need, we can finally go shopping… and we need to do something with your hair.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?” he asks, but he’s smiling and so are you.

THERE WILL BE A PART TWO! Also, tagging everyone who expressed interest in Waldorf!Reader @mggslover @libraprincessfairy @lillaberry @lokisswiftie

[pinkglittergelpenink]

the team whenever Spencer talks:

[magical-reid]

Unspoken Symphonies

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Autistic!BAU!Reader

Word Count: 900

Prompts: 1: “I just cant see myself ever living without you.” 

24: “I don’t care what others say, I want to be with you and that’s all that matters to me.” 

Summary: In the BAU bullpen, Spencer is captivated by your presence, his attention fixated on you as you effortlessly point out the small distractions around him, forging a quiet but intimate bond. Despite the team's skepticism about your unconventional relationship, Spencer defends the unique connection you share, realizing that understanding each other is more than enough to make it work.

WARNING(?): I really tried my best to appropriately portray an autistic reader, however, if anyone finds that I didn't handle this situation appropriately for whatever reason, or if anyone is uncomfortable with how I portrayed the autistic reader, let me know and I will take this down. If anyone would like to better inform me on how to better write for an autistic reader I will take any tips happily.

The bullpen hummed with the quiet murmur of the BAU. Keyboards clicked, files shuffled, and the faint aroma of coffee mingled with the scent of printer ink. Yet, for Spencer, the center of his universe wasn’t the case files scattered across his desk or the faint sound of Morgan’s teasing laughter in the distance. It was you—perched on the edge of his desk, legs swinging idly, your gaze fixed on the ceiling as you traced invisible patterns with your fingertips.

“Hey, genius,” you said softly, tilting your head to glance at him. “You’re staring.”

Spencer flushed, tearing his gaze away and pushing up his glasses. “Sorry, I just—your observations always fascinate me. What are you thinking about?”

“The light,” you said simply. “It’s flickering. Almost imperceptibly, but it’s distracting.” You pointed upward, your movements deliberate and precise. “Doesn’t that drive you crazy?”

He followed your finger, squinting at the offending fluorescent bulb. “Oh, now I can’t unsee it,” he said with a sheepish smile, leaning forward. “But no, it doesn’t bother me as much as it seems to bother you.”

“Lucky you.” You shrugged, lowering your hand. “It’s not just the light, though. The air conditioning vents are whistling again, and Morgan has been tapping his pen against his desk for the last five minutes.”

Spencer’s lips quirked into an affectionate smile. “And you’re still managing to sit here with me?”

“Of course.” You turned to him fully now, your tone earnest and direct. “Because you’re here.”

His heart swelled at the simplicity of your statement, but before he could respond, Emily approached, arms crossed and brow arched.

“Am I interrupting something?” she asked, her tone teasing but laced with curiosity.

Spencer straightened in his chair, his fingers fidgeting with the edge of a file. “No, not at all. We were just—”

“Talking,” you interjected, your voice level. “Is that not allowed?”

Emily blinked, slightly taken aback, before recovering with a grin. “Of course it is. Just don’t let Hotch catch you slacking, okay?”

You nodded, your expression neutral but your fingers drumming rhythmically against the desk. Once Emily walked away, you leaned closer to Spencer. “They think we’re weird, don’t they?”

Spencer hesitated. He wanted to deny it, to shield you from the judgments of others, but you were too perceptive for that. “They… don’t understand,” he admitted finally. “But it doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t it?” Your voice softened, your eyes searching his. “It doesn’t bother you when they look at us like we’re… not normal?”

Spencer frowned, reaching out to brush his fingers against yours, an unspoken reassurance in the gesture. “Normal is subjective,” he said gently. “Besides, I don’t care what others say. I want to be with you, and that’s all that matters to me.”

Your gaze lingered on his, unblinking. The world around you seemed to fade—the whirring air conditioner, the tap of Morgan’s pen, the low hum of office chatter. It was just the two of you, cocooned in your own space.

“I just can’t see myself ever living without you,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper but carrying the weight of absolute certainty.

The words hit Spencer with a force he hadn’t anticipated, stealing his breath and grounding him all at once. He tightened his grip on your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles.

“You won’t have to,” he promised.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

(Later That Evening)

The team’s skepticism had been a silent undercurrent for months now. Conversations would lull whenever you entered a room, and Spencer could feel the weight of their glances. But tonight, as the team gathered at Rossi’s for dinner, the unease was almost palpable.

“Spence,” JJ began cautiously, her tone gentle but probing. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” he said, though he already suspected the question.

“It’s just… you and Y/N. You’re so different. Don’t get me wrong,” she added quickly, “you seem happy. It’s just… it’s not what we expected.”

“What did you expect?” he asked, his voice calm but tinged with defensiveness.

JJ hesitated, searching for the right words. “I think we just don’t… understand your dynamic. You’re so—analytical. And Y/N is so—”

“Direct?” Spencer supplied. “Blunt? Honest? Those aren’t bad things, JJ. They’re part of why I love them.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” JJ said quickly. “It’s just… different.”

Spencer leaned back, his expression softening as he glanced across the room to where you were chatting with Rossi about a book you’d both recently read. “Different doesn’t mean wrong. We might not fit into the conventional mold, but we understand each other. That’s more than enough for me.”

JJ smiled faintly, a glimmer of understanding in her eyes. “Fair enough.”

As the evening wore on, the team began to see it—how you instinctively leaned closer when Spencer rambled, grounding him with a single touch. How he adjusted his pace to match yours, always attuned to your needs. And how, despite their initial doubts, it was clear that you and Spencer had created a language all your own.

In the quiet moments, you and Spencer didn’t need words. The world didn’t have to understand your connection, because the two of you had already found something far more valuable—a love that fit, in all its imperfect perfection.

[venusbyline]

my type: pretty boys who are professors, FBI special agents, ex-con, probably autistic and have real puppy eyes

[h2des]

Lemon Sharks

Spencer Reid x autistic!reader

Summary : Spencer comes home from a case and finds the reader exhausted.

Cw : Emotional exhaustion (?)

Word count : 551

A/n : This is my first time writing here! It’s very short. English is not my first language. Please let me know if you like it!

-------------------------------------------------------

The apartment is illuminated solely by the television's light. A documentary on marine wildlife has been circulating there for more than two hours. You must know it by heart by now.

Lemon sharks are named after their yellow-brown skin that helps them camouflage in the sandy, tropical waters they inhabit.

The day was anything but easy. This morning, the subway was unusually crowded. To run it all, your noise-cancelling headphones ran out of battery. Every noise was amplified in your head. This old man banging his cane against the ground, this lady loudly chewing her breakfast,... You mechanically pulled the skin of your thumb without even noticing it.

The day has only gotten worse. The usual work schedule is exceptionally changed by another. The only colleague you got along with left. And finally, your long-time boyfriend, Spencer, is still not home.

You thought about texting him, but you knew that on the jet, he probably wouldn’t get it. You missed him terribly. You missed your hugs. So you missed the way those hands stroked your hair. It’s been five days since you last saw him.

Sicklefin lemon sharks are highly adaptable and intelligent animals, and their behavior can vary depending on their habitat and environmental conditions.

Learning is one of the things you love the most in the world. Documentaries help a lot with that. You’re on your couch, a heavy blanket on the shoulders, eyes staring at the television absorbing every word of the presenter when the door opens.

"Hi" is the first word you hear from Spencer when he walks through the door. Your head is resting on the armrest and it seems too heavy at this time of day to lift it. You still manage to say a sleepy hello to your boyfriend. You can see him getting rid of his shoes and jacket before he heads to the living room. "I see that someone is tired" He said leaning against the couch to put a kiss on your forehead.

"Sorry, hard day. I can’t wait to hear yours" Your voice barely audible. Each syllable requires considerable affort to come out of your mouth. "Sure, but did you eat today and drink a minimum of 1 liter of water ?" It has occurred so many times to be immersed in something so intense that you fail to make yourself food or even drink water. "Yes, I didn’t forget anything this time! Did you take something to eat on the road ?" Spencer gently nods.

"What are you watching ?" Excitement takes over. "A documentary about Lemon Sharks! Did you know they could live more than 27 years ?!" He knows, of course, but pretended not to please you. You position yourself on the couch so that your boyfriend can sit behind you and softly rest your head on his thighs. His hands run through your hair. Forming circles that almost make you fall asleep. "Do you want to go to bed ?" He asks, his voice is sweet. You nod, eyes closed.

You are now in your bed, in comfortable clothes, your head rests on Spencer’s chest while he holds your hip firmly. Your eyes are close, his are on you. Everything seems to be better. "I missed you", were the last words heard before you fell asleep.

[0o-junebug-o0]

Put to Use

summary: Spencer has been bothering you all day while you try to get work done, you decide to put his mouth to better use.

genre: fluff and smut

cw: 18+ mdni! sub!spencer, softdom!reader, dirty talking, praise, use of good boy, begging, oral sex (r receiving (kinda)), strap-ons, strap-on sucking, hair pulling, gn!reader (reader has a vagina but nothing else is specified (the only word used to describe reader's genitalia is clit)), masturbation, no use of y/n, whiny/bratty spencer, autistic!spencer (because every spencer is autistic!spencer), aftercare

wordcount: 2.1k

Spencer has been whining all day. He’s been pacing around the apartment, practically begging you to put aside your work and complaining about how bored and lonely he is. Both of which you know for a fact is not true. If Spencer was bored he would grab one of the many books littering your shared apartment and read, and if he was actually lonely he would have a proper conversation about it rather than whining. He’s not bored or lonely, he’s just horny.

If you weren’t so busy you’d help him out, but you have a deadline coming up and you’ve been stuck on this part of your code for over two hours and it’s starting to piss you off.

Spencer sighs loudly as he passes by your desk. You briefly close your eyes and take a deep breath to tune him out and continue working. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Spencer watching you and when you don’t push everything aside to attend to him he whines your name. 

“Spencer,” you reply in a matching whine. He pouts.

“I’m bored.”

“Then read,” you say, still not taking your eyes off of your computer. 

“But I don’t want to read,” he whines. 

“Since when do you not want to read?”

“I just don’t,” he grumbles.

He flops onto the couch with a huff, his legs draped over the side. If you weren’t so worried about spurring him on, you’d laugh. 

A few minutes pass before he calls your name again.

You roll your eyes, starting to get a bit annoyed. “What, Spencer?”

“I’m still bored.”

Jesus Christ. You’ve never seen him like this. You’ve seen him desperate for you before but he’s never been such a brat about it. “Spencer, you know I have to work.”

“I know, but I’m lonely,” he whines.

“I’m right here.”

“That’s too far,” he groans.

“I’m really busy, Spencer. You’re just going to have to be patient.”

He mumbles something to himself but goes quiet and occupies himself by swinging his legs. It would be adorable if he wasn’t being such a pain in the ass.

You rub your eyes and lean closer to your computer as if that will tell you how to fix the error that just appeared in your code. You change the dimensions of an array and try running it again, when the code still fails, frustration builds in your chest and you have to fight the urge to slam your computer shut.

You mentally run through all of your most common mistakes and their solutions but not one of them gets rid of the error. You’re about to plot the data to see if there’s an issue in the reading of the file when Spencer calls your name again.

You close your laptop with a snap and Spencer’s head pokes over the back of the couch. You stand, pushing your chair away from your desk hard enough that it almost topples over. 

You glare at him. “Up,” you snap.

Spencer immediately scrambles off the couch and onto his feet, staring at you with wide, desperate eyes. 

“Go to the bedroom. I want you naked and kneeling on the floor by the time I arrive. And no touching yourself.” Spencer’s eyes get impossibly wider and he seems almost frozen with surprise. “Now, Spencer.”

He nods frantically and races down the hallway and into the bedroom. You love how desperate he is to obey you. Watching him practically trip over himself to do as you say makes arousal pool in your gut. You walk around to the front of the couch and sit where Spencer had been lying mere moments ago. You stare at your watch and press your hands between your legs to relieve some of the pressure.

Spencer has no doubt done what you said by now but you want to make him wait. He needs to learn some patience. Eventually, your own arousal becomes too much to bear and you follow him into the bedroom.

Ever the good listener, Spencer is kneeling on the floor completely naked. His hands are resting just above his knees and he’s squeezing his legs hard enough that the skin around his hands is white. His cock is hard and resting on his thighs and you can tell by how much it’s leaking that he hasn’t touched himself. The sight of him drives you crazy. 

He gasps your name when he sees you, but you walk toward the dresser at the other end of the room without acknowledging him. He whines pathetically and as much as you want to kiss him, you don’t turn around. You open the top drawer and move aside your underwear and socks to grab the strap-on and harness you’d purchased recently. You turn around, closing the drawer with your elbow, and Spencer’s eyes widen when he sees what you’re holding.

“Oh my God,” he gasps, his voice breaking slightly with desperation.

You toss the items onto the bed and twirl your finger. Immediately, Spencer shuffles around until he’s facing you, not leaving his knees once. 

You saunter forward, stopping only inches away from him. He lifts his hands and reaches out to touch you, his mouth hanging open and his chest rising and falling rapidly with each panted breath, but he lowers his hands when you give him a pointed look. The pure adoration and need in his eyes has you soaking through your underwear and it takes a tremendous amount of self-control not to kiss him. 

You grab the hem of your shirt and slowly pull it over your head. You can feel Spencer’s unwavering eye contact the entire time. You toss the shirt to the side and unbuckle your belt before pushing your pants and underwear down your legs at a snail's pace, never once taking your eyes off of Spencer’s face.

You step out of your pants and underwear and kick them aside as you reach around behind you to grab the dildo and harness off the bed. Spencer watches your hands intently as you slide the dildo through the hole in the front of the harness. “Please,” he gasps. “Oh my God, please, I need it! Please!”

You shoot him a glare and his mouth snaps shut.

“You want to use your mouth so bad?” you ask with a snarl, stepping into the harness and pulling it up to your hips. “Talking and talking nonstop? Distracting me even though you know I have to work? I’ll put your mouth to use.” You tighten the straps until the harness fits snugly around your hips and waist. “Maybe this will shut you up.”

You grab Spencer’s hair and pull him forward until his face is right in front of your strap. He falls slightly and scrambles until he’s sitting between your legs, looking up at you with an open mouth and wide eyes.

“Suck,” you command. The second the word leaves your mouth, Spencer wraps his lips around your strap with a pathetic moan, his eyes fluttering shut. He looks gorgeous like this and you can feel your arousal sticking to your thighs. 

Spencer bobs his head and a gasp forces its way from your throat as the base of the dildo presses against your clit. Spurred on by the sound of your pleasure, Spencer presses his face closer to you and wraps one of his hands around the base of the strap, stroking it in time to the movement of his head.

Each stroke sends pleasure shooting up your spine and you tangle your hands in his hair to steady yourself. “Such a good boy,” you groan. “Taking my cock so well.”

Spencer moans desperately and pulls his head away for a moment, not stopping the movement of his hands. He looks up at you with wet eyes. “You’re cock,” he rasps. “Love your cock. Tastes so good.” 

His voice already sounds ruined and the thought makes you moan as you push his head back down. He rewraps his lips around your cock and takes you down as far as he can. The dildo isn’t big and the tip of his nose presses lightly against your stomach. You can feel where the silicone hits the back of his throat and you moan loudly, your head falling back with pleasure. He wraps his hands around your thighs and holds you in place, slowly and gently bobbing his head. Even the slightest of movements send waves of pleasure through your body as the base of the dildo rubs against you and you have to fight the urge to buck your hips.

As if he could read your mind, Spencer pulls back off your cock and replaces his mouth with his hand, stroking rapidly. You gasp as each stroke presses the dildo against your clit with the perfect amount of pressure. You look down at him and the sight is almost enough to make you cum. His entire body is flushed red and his chest heaves with each desperate breath. His cock is red and hard and he’s leaked all over his lap, the hand not stroking you is clenched into a fist at his side so he doesn’t touch himself without permission. He looks divine.

Spencer stares up at you with an expression of pure need. “F-fuck my face,” he gasps, his voice weak and scratchy. “Please.”

His words send sparks of pleasure through you and combined with the movement of his hand you can feel your orgasm starting to pool in your belly. “Holy shit,” you gasp, nodding your head frantically, unsure of how else to respond. The moment he sees you nod he replaces his hand with his mouth, groaning loudly.

Your hips buck forward and the sensation makes you cry out with pleasure. Heat starts to climb up your back and you thrust sloppily into his mouth as you chase your orgasm. “Such a good boy,” you gasp. “Taking me so well. Touch yourself, baby, touch yourself while I fuck your pretty face.”

A loud moan rips from Spencer’s chest and even though you can’t see it, you know he has his hand between his legs and is desperately fucking his fist. 

“That’s it, baby,” you pant. “I’m so close.”

Spencer whimpers around your cock and you can see his hips moving desperately beneath you as he touches himself. His whole body tenses as he cums and the sight of his orgasm brings you to yours. You cum hard with a cry of his name. Your legs shake as pleasure shoots through your body and you struggle to stay on your feet. Your hips still and you untangle your hands from Spencer’s hair as he pulls back. 

He smiles a big dopey smile up at you and you sink to your knees to pull him in for a kiss. You rub your thumb over his cheek and he sighs into your mouth as he kisses you back. You pull away and he chases after you weakly. You chuckle and press a brief kiss to the tip of his nose. “Did so good, baby. So proud of you,” you whisper.

Spencer smiles and buries his head in the crook of your neck.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, alright, sweetheart?”

He nods and you guide him to his feet and into the ensuite bathroom. You undo and step out of the harness and set it and the strap on the edge of the sink to clean later. You turn on the bath and wipe the cum off his legs with a wet washcloth as you sit on the edge of the tub and wait for the water to get warm. Spencer stays pressed close to your side the entire time but you don’t mind. You love how soft and cuddly he gets after sex, especially when you’ve been a little rougher with him.

You keep one arm wrapped around him, holding him against your body, and feel the temperature of the water with the other. Satisfied, you plug the drain and let the bath start to fill. 

“Alright, sweetheart, the water’s nice and warm. Why don’t you climb in?” Spencer presses his face back into your neck. You feel a pang of worry at his lack of communication. “What’s wrong baby?” you ask gently. “Are you alright? Does anything hurt?”

Spencer shakes his head and wraps his arms tighter around you. You return his hug, rubbing your hand up and down his back, feeling the ridges of his spine under your fingertips. “Do you just want to be near me?” you ask. Spencer nods and your worry dissipates. You smile and press a kiss to the top of his head. “Okay, baby. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll join you in the bath, alright?”

Spencer nods and lets you guide him into the tub. You slip in right behind him and turn off the water. You press kisses to his back and shoulders as you bathe him, whispering praises until you’re both clean.

_____

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[spentfromspence]

Hotch: Reid.

Spencer: Oh no. "Reid" in b-flat.

Spencer: You’re disappointed.