#aus:

[silent-raven13]

Wally’s “Portrait of Frank” 

For my fanfic: Love is Hard

[aroacemisha]

Since I got some new followers, I’m gonna link this info post again for anyone who would like to know more about my TOH AU. I’m gonna make a proper, better structured info post eventually, but this is what I have for now.

You can also look through the “#retired leaders au” and “#rlau info” tags to learn more about the AU, the latter is specifically info posts.

My drawings and writing can be found under the “#misha’s creative stuff” tag.

[thistledown-au-warriors]

fire and ice - chapter 29

< Chapter 28 || Index || Chapter 30 >

It was sunhigh by the time Fire Heart got back to camp from a hunt. He'd managed to catch a small rabbit. It felt like prey had gotten leaner, as nothing he'd caught for a while felt like it had any fat in it. He padded into the clearing and dropped his prey in the usual place. The spot had been empty so far.

Fire Heart wondered if he should go out again and hunt - Golden Flower's appetite was increasing with the size of her belly, and the kits of the Clan had to be fed at all costs. The snow was heavier now, and a cold wind was beginning to blow through the ravine. Fire Heart was studying the darkening sky when he heard Brindle Face’s worried meow near the nursery. He bounded over to see what was wrong. “What’s the matter?”

“Have you seen Cloud Tail?” she demanded.

Fire Heart shook his head. “Is he missing?” His paws prickled as Brindle Face’s rising panic began to infect him.

“Yes. So are my other kits. I only closed my eyes for a moment. I just woke up and I can’t find them anywhere! It’s too cold for them to be out. They’ll freeze to death!” The queen swayed on her paws.

Alarm shot through Fire Heart as he pictured the last time a young cat had disappeared from the camp. 

It had been Blazing Cinder.

“I’ll find them.” Fire Heart promised. He automatically looked around for Gray Stripe. The wind was rising and the snow was growing thicker — he didn’t want to search alone. Fire Heart rushed to the warriors’ den and pushed his way inside, but Gray Stripe wasn’t there.

Sand Storm was just waking up. “What’s wrong?” she meowed, seeing Fire Heart peering around the den.

“Brindle Face’s kits are missing.”

“Cloud Tail too?” Sand Storm scrambled to her paws, instantly awake.

“Yes! I was looking for Gray Stripe so we could look for them together, but he isn’t here.” Fire Heart meowed, his words tumbling out in a rush. He felt a stab of rage that Gray Stripe was missing yet again.

“I’ll come with you.” Sand Storm offered.

Fire Heart blinked. “Thanks.” he meowed gratefully. “Come on. We should tell Blue Fur before we leave.”

“Dusty Earth can tell her. Is it still snowing?”

“Yes, and it’s getting heavier. We’d better hurry.” Fire Heart looked at Dusty Earth's sleeping form. “You wake him. I’ll tell Brindle Face we’re going and meet you by the entrance.” He bounded away, back to the nursery. Brindle Face was still sniffing around in search of scents.

“Any sign?” Fire Heart asked.

“No, nothing.” Brindle Face’s voice was trembling. “Frost Shine's gone to tell Blue Fur!”

“Well, don’t worry. I’m going out to look for them.” he reassured her. “Sand Storm’s coming with me. We’ll find them.”

Brindle Face nodded and carried on searching.

Fire Heart and Sand Storm arrived at the gorse tunnel together and hurried out into the woods. Outside the camp, the wind felt even fiercer. Fire Heart narrowed his eyes and hunched his shoulders against the blizzard.

“It’s going to be hard picking up a scent through the fresh snow.” Sand Storm warned. She let out an angry hiss of concern. "Kits! They just had to pull this stunt at the worst time."

Fire Heart nodded. “Let’s start by checking to see if they’ve climbed up to the forest.”

“Okay.” meowed Sand Storm. 

“You take that side.” Fire Heart pointed with his nose. “And I’ll take the other. Meet you back here. Don’t be long.”

Sand Storm bounded away, and Fire Heart leaped over a fallen tree, heading toward the trail the Clan followed most often. The sides of the ravine were even more thickly coated than they had been that morning, and slippery now where the snow had frozen into ice. Fire Heart stopped and lifted his head, his mouth open, but he could find no scent of the kits. He looked in vain for pawsteps — would their trail already be covered by fresh snow?

He trekked along the bottom of the slope but found no sign of any cats, let alone lost kits. The wind blew until Fire Heart could hardly feel the tips of his ears. No kits could survive in this weather. He had to find them before nightfall.

A large shape was visible through the whiteness. Fire Heart padded forward and squinted. It was Gray Stripe, heading for Fourtrees. 

"Gray Stripe!" Fire Heart called out. The gray warrior froze, and turned to Fire Heart, ears flat.

"What?" He meowed defensively.

There was no time to feel hurt. "Cloud Tail, Ash Fur and Fern Cloud are missing! They left camp and are out alone in this snow!" Fire Heart informed him urgently. 

The scowl in Gray Stripe's face was replaced by shock. He turned his broad head to look over his shoulder, then looked back at Fire Heart. "Alright. I'm coming."

He felt his heart soar as Gray Stripe came to his side and ran with him. Fire Heart and his friend raced back to the camp entrance. Sand Storm was waiting for him, her fur striped with small ridges of snow. She shook them off as she saw them coming.

“Any sign?” Fire Heart meowed.

“No, nothing.”

“They can’t have gotten far.” Fire Heart pointed out, although fear sunk his stomach. If one of the best hunters in the Clan couldn't find their trace, who could?

“Come on, let’s try this way.” Gray Stripe called them, heading toward the training hollow.

Sand Storm and Fire Heart battled after him. The snow was getting deeper, and even though she had longer legs than Fire Heart, she sank up to her belly with every step. He fell to the back of the group, and the two smaller cats used the ridges Gray Stripe left on the snow to march forward.

The training hollow was empty.

“Do you think Blue Fur realizes how bad the weather is out here?” asked Sand Storm, raising her voice against the wind.

“She’ll know.” Fire Heart called back to her.

“We should go back and get help, join up with another search party.” meowed Sand Storm.

Fire Heart looked at the shivering warrior. It was not just the kits who might freeze out here. Perhaps Sand Storm was right. “I agree.” he meowed. “We can’t do this by ourselves.”

Gray Stripe raced back to them before they could call to him. "Wait. Did you hear that?"

The three warriors stood silently, and it seemed like a tiny squeal sounded through the wind. 

Sand Storm parted her jaws and began sniffing the air furiously. Suddenly she lifted her head. “That way!” she meowed, pointing with her nose to a fallen tree.

Fire Heart leaped toward it with Sand Storm right behind him. Gray Stripe gained on him and matched his stride, helping him through the piles of snow. The squealing grew louder until Fire Heart could make out several little voices. He scrambled up onto the log and looked down the other side. Huddled in the snow were three small kits. Fire Heart felt a rush of relief and fury shot through him. 

"What do you think you're doing out of camp?" he yowled.

“Hunting!” squeaked one of the kits, Fern Cloud. Her voice trembled with cold and fear, but there was a note of defiance in it.

Clout Tail had a small, frozen vole between his teeth. "We found fresh-kill!" he meowed through the dead prey. The small creature clearly had been frozen by the fierce snowfall.

Fire Heart sighed and scooped up the white kit by the scruff of his neck. Cloud Tail grunted in protest but refused to drop the vole that dangled from his mouth.

"Hunting for frostbite, more like." Gray Stripe huffed.

Fire Heart turned to see Sand Storm nudging the others. She picked up Fern Cloud, who was mewling pitifully, while Gray Stripe scooped Ash Fur up with a grunt. The gray kits were quite larger than Cloud Tail, but still shouldn't keep on trudging through the snow.

The bedraggled group struggled back to the camp. Brindle Face was waiting outside the gorse tunnel, Mossy Patch beside her. Blue Fur stood beside them, her eyes narrowed against the driving snow. As soon as they spotted Fire Heart’s party, they rushed forward to help. Brindle Face took the squirming Cloud Tail from Fire Heart, while Blue Fur and Mossy Patch took the two older kits. Then they turned and raced into the shelter of the camp, while the three young warriors followed them at a slower pace, panting clouds of steam into the wind.

Once in the clearing, the three cats dropped their cold bundles onto the ground, their mothers promptly licking the frost from their soft pelts. Fire Heart shook the snow from his fur and looked down at Cloud Tail, who was still stubbornly clinging to his prey.

Blue Fur glared at the three kits as Mossy Patch and Brindle Face stepped back. “What did you think you were doing out there? You know kits are forbidden from leaving camp!”

The two gray-and-white kits shrank under their their grandmother's angry gaze, but Cloud Tail looked back at her with round kitten-blue eyes. He dropped his vole and mewed, “Hop Speckle says the Clan is hungry, so we went to hunt!”

Fire Heart flinched at his boldness.

“Whose idea was it?” Blue Fur demanded.

“Mine!” Cloud Tail announced, his head still unbowed.

Blue Fur fixed her eyes on the defiant little kit and yowled. “You could have frozen to death out there!”

Cloud Tail was startled by the anger in her voice and dropped into a crouch. “We wanted to help the Clan.” he mewed defensively.

Fire Heart held his breath as he waited to see what Blue Fur would do next. Would she change her mind about letting Cloud Tail stay?

“Your intention..." Blue Fur meowed slowly. “... was good. But it was a foolish thing to do.” Fire Heart felt a flicker of hope. Then he cringed as Cloud Tail piped up again.

“I found prey!”

“I can see that.” replied Blue Fur coldly. She gazed at all three kits. “I shall leave it to your mothers to decide what to do with you. But I don’t want to find any of you doing anything like this again. Do you understand?”

Fire Heart relaxed a little as Cloud Tail nodded with the others. “Clould Tail. I'll add your 'catch' to the pile.” Blue Fur added. “But now the three of you need to go straight to the nursery and get yourselves dry and warm.” 

Ash Fur and Fern Cloud stumbled toward the nursery, followed by Brindle Face, who carried the tiny white kit. Cloud Tail mewled in complaint, saying something about how he wanted to take the vole to the pile himself. Mossy Patch hushed him, licking his face as she padded beside her mate.

“Well done.” Blue Fur meowed, turning her attention to Sand Storm, Fire Heart and Gray Stripe. “I’ll send Pale Tail out to retrieve the other search party. You should go to your den and try to warm up too!”

“Yes, Blue Fur.” Fire Heart answered. He turned to leave with the others but Blue Fur called him back. “Fire Heart." she meowed, “I want to talk to you.” Her tone made him feel apprehensive. Perhaps he’d relaxed too soon.

“Cloud Tail showed some resilience and tracking skill today, for such a young kit.” Blue Fur began. “But all the skill in the world is worthless if he can’t learn to obey the warrior code. It may be for his own safety now, but in the future the safety of the whole Clan will depend on it. He somehow convinced his denmates to get into trouble. I don't want him using their trust in him for dangerous things.”

Fire Heart stared down at the ground. He knew Blue Fur was right, but he couldn’t help feeling that she was expecting too much of the young kit. Cloud Tail was still less than three moons old, and he’d been with the Clan only a short time. Fire Heart swallowed a pang of resentment as he thought of how shamelessly Gray Stripe, a clanborn cat, was disobeying the warrior code. However, the pride and defiance he’d seen in the white kit’s eyes made Fire Heart wonder if he really would be able to adjust to Clan life. He looked up at the Clan leader. “Yes, Blue Fur.” he meowed. “I’ll make sure he learns.”

“Good.” Blue Fur sounded satisfied. She turned away and padded to her den.

Fire Heart made his way to the warriors’ den even though he no longer felt cold. Blue Fur’s words had made him burn. He noticed Gray Stripe standing outside the den, looking at him.

Fire Heart thought the tom would have been back to avoiding him by now. "Thank you, Gray Stripe." He meowed genuinely. "It means a lot to me that you helped me find Cloud Tail."

Gray Stripe looked away. "Wouldn't be right of me to allow kits to be in danger."

"Right." Fire Heart sighed. Whenever Gray Stripe did anything for him, he acted dismissive afterwards, as he was still mad Fire Heart meddled in his relationship. "Well, then. Are you going to keep her waiting?"

Their eyes met again. There was no need to specify who - they both knew. Gray Stripe scuffed the earth with his paws.

"I'm sure she understands it's hard to get out in this weather." The tom mumbled.

Nodding, Fire Heart attempted to brush past him to enter the warriors' den, but a bushy gray tail blocked him.

"Wait." Gray Stripe meowed. "Come with me. We need to talk."

  The two toms shook the snow off their pelts as they climbed inside the hollow of an ancient tree, a fair distance away from camp. The large roots made enough shelter from the wind, and they could watch the bright snow dancing in the dark outside the cover of wood. Fire Heart bent down to give himself a wash, getting the frost out of his shorter pelt. He felt Gray Stripe doing the same beside him. Fire Heart realized this was the first time since he'd found out about Silver Stream that they'd been alone together by choice, and he felt a pang as uncertainty filled his heart. He missed Gray Stripe, but the tom had felt almost like a stranger for so long he didn't know what to say.

But he didn't need to say anything, as Gray Stripe's low meow sounded beside him. "When you joined the Clan as an apprentice…" he began, and Fire Heart lifted his head to look at him. "... I was so happy. I finally had a friend. Raven Shadow and I didn't get along as well before you joined - despite everything, I was just a kit. He humored me because Sand Storm and Dusty Earth didn't like him either. But you came, and everything fell into place. I could teach you all about the Clans, and you'd listen to me in awe." Gray Stripe chuckled. "It felt good, like I was an older brother. And soon felt that way for Raven Shadow as well. I finally had real friends. Nothing like Dark Pine."

The gray warrior paused for a moment as his expression saddened. "Then I lost Lion's Heart, the best mentor I could've asked for. Rose Fall was nice, but also just another kin that doesn't remember me much. She was more like kin to Blue Fur and Thrush Wing's kits than to White Flower, and you know how he's kind of distant from them." Fire Heart didn't, but chose not to interrupt Gray Stripe. "Then Raven Shadow had to go, and I couldn't even begin to understand the circumstances. It all seemed so much bigger than me, I just wanted things to go back to normal since Broken Tail was gone. And it was when you left to find WindClan that I realized nothing would ever be back to normal. You don't need me anymore."

"Gray Stripe-" Fire Heart gasped, but his friend didn't let him finish.

"No, it's true , Fire Heart." His yellow eyes blazed intensely with emotion. "You aren't the clueless former kittypet that needs me to teach you things anymore. You're a better warrior than I am. Blue Fur pays a lot of attention to you, and I was kind of just… there. Sleeping alone for the first time in moons made me realize that I was the one who needed you to feel like I had a place in the Clan. And I was terrified of losing my one true friend and having to realize that the only ones that would care about me then would be my parents . Willow Branch cares even about Dark Pine who hates her for making him be born half-Clan."

Fire Heart stared, shocked silent. Dark Pine was half-Clan? He knew White Flower wasn't his father, but…

Gray Stripe looked away. "It's a long story, one that very few know." He murmured. "Willow Branch fell briefly for a ShadowClan warrior when she was young. She regrets it, but doesn't regret Dark Pine. He doesn't see it that way, though. He thinks it's only fair my littermates died to show her that she can't take back birthing him just because she had a new family."

"You… had littermates?" Fire Heart whispered. Gray Stripe had never told him that.

His friend nodded sadly. "Two. Many kits were lost that leaf-bare." His meow was a small murmur. "I don't even remember what they looked like, just that I missed them badly."

Not thinking twice, Fire Heart pressed himself against his friend, nosing his shoulder to offer him comfort. The gray tom tensed at first, then laid his head between the ginger cat's ears, inhaling sharply. "So… when you came back, I was glad, but also resentful. We were both made warriors that day, even though you were the one that did something amazing. And I realized that you were the important one. It wasn't the two of us against the bullies anymore."

"It still was for me." Fire Heart murmured. He felt his friend smile against his pelt, then pull away. Gray Stripe was now staring dreamily at the snow. 

"Then I met Silver Stream and… I don't have all these worries when I'm with her. She loves me for me, the way she met me. And I love her for the beautiful, talented and funny cat she is. She acts aloof and rebellious, but she's so much more." He sighed happily, and Fire Heart's pads pricked. The gray tom truly loved her, and he couldn't help but sympathize with him. He'd sought out his sister to feel like he belonged, too, and it was something he'd also gone beyond the code for. Gray Stripe went on. "I know I've been a mouse-brain. I couldn't bear to be away from her, and I assumed that, since you didn't need me, I could just see Silver Stream and not worry. I'm sorry."

Fire Heart sighed, exasperated. "I'm not your friend because I need to be. I'm your friend because I want to be."

"I understand that now. I was selfish." The gray tom blinked his round yellow eyes.

He held the warrior's gaze. "It's not my place to judge you. I just don't want you to get hurt, you're my best friend, Gray Stripe. You always will be."

Gray Stripe stared at him, his eyes clouded with relief and gratitude. Then, without speaking, they pressed together, sharing warmth. They sat together in friendship, watching the snow rage on as evening fell.

[amzelibus]

Part 8

Previous

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Next

[chicleeblair]

First, Do No Harm [6/28] ||[FFN]

Rating: E

Pairings: Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd

An assailant from her past renders Meredith Grey temporarily deaf with her jaw wired shut. Derek traces the less visible damage that led to someone trying to silence her, and finds himself at the root. She can’t shake the belief that he’s only at her side out of obligation. Neither of them can answer the true question: Is this is a six-week truce, or will their skill at non-verbal conversation will keep their marriage from shattering with the silence?

AO3||FFN

[jorgfromgermany]

New Post has been published on https://joergausingolstadt.de/2023/09/11/dreaming-of-a-blue-fly/

Dreaming of a Blue Fly - Jørg

Inhalt

Covers sind doof

Dreaming of a Blue Fly – lydisch

Jørg und die Fliege

Das lustige Titelbild

Der direkte Nachfolger

Warum zwei Versionen des Songs?

Mit jedem Stück auf Tour

“Dreaming Of A Blue Fly” – ja, da mag der Eine oder Andere schmunzeln. Der Song ist ein sehr gelungenes Rock Guitar Instrumental, mit dem ich ein kleine Dankeschön platzieren möchte. Die Musik der großen Gitarristen wie Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, Yngwie Malmsteen oder Marty Friedman hat mich von Anfang an elektrisiert und inspiriert.

Dreaming of a Blue Fly on Spotify. Two versions of one amazing song

Covers sind doof

Nun bin ich nicht der Gitarrist, der gerne Stücke covert. Durch meine fortlaufenden Gitarrenstunden analysiere und seziere ich täglich Musik, um sie in erlernbare Häppchen zu zerlegen. Damit lerne ich selbst zwar eine Menge, aber bin gerade dadurch immer bestrebt, meine eigenen Stücke zu erschaffen.

Dreaming of a Blue Fly – lydisch

So auch “Dreaming of a Blue Fly”. Das Hauptthema (und somit die ersten Aufnahmen) war eigentlich viel langsamer gedacht. Das Stück entwickelte sich sehr rasch mit detulich höherem Speed. Das war zwar erstmal eine Herausforderung, da es für mich die ersten Gehversuche in der lydischen Tonart waren. Das ist erstmal gewöhnungsbedürftig, erzeugt aber eine überraschende Wohlfühl-Atmosphäre.

Jørg und die Fliege

Ein paar der Solo-Elemente habe ich an einen bekannten Song angelehnt, die produktion des Stückes hat mir sehr viel Spaß gemacht. Abgerundet habe ich es dann mit einem Fliegen-Sample. Ich denke spätestens mit diesem Element sieht man das Augenzwinkern, mit dem ich “Dreaming of a Blue Fly” über mein eigenes Label mx-pro records veröffentlicht habe.

Das lustige Titelbild

Das lustige Titelbild stammt von meiner eifrigen Gitarrenschülerin Isabell O., die sich trotz Zeitknappheit während ihres Studiums kurzentschlossen dransetzte. Vielen Dank an dieser Stelle, ich finde es super!

Der direkte Nachfolger

Ich empfinde “Dreaming of a blue Fly” als direkten Nachfolger und Weiterentwicklung meiner Arbeit auf der EP “Train to Drammen“. Insbesondere wenn ich da an “LeeLa” denke, welches mir in Ansätzen wie eine Frage zur Antwort “Dreaming of a blue Fly” vorkommt. Vermutlich ist das aber ein subjektives Empfinden, welches Du als geneigter Hörer einer Musik vielleicht nicht teilst. Über Kommentare zu diesem Artikel freue ich mich sehr, auch über ein Abo meines Newsletters. Damit erhältst Du Neuigkeiten von mir, sobald ein neuer Blog Artikel erscheint.

Warum zwei Versionen des Songs?

Diese Frage ist ganz leicht zu beantworten. Die längere Version ist das eigentliche Originalstück, so wie ich es ursprünglich konzipiert hatte. Da ich aber um die Unguld des Streaming-Hörers weiss, habe ich große Teile des Soloparts gekürzt, um auf eine Radio spielbare Länge des Stückes zu kommen. Ausserdem, denke ich mir, macht ein so kurzes Stück mit nur 2:37m ja vielleicht “Appetit” auf mehr.

Mit jedem Stück auf Tour

Mit jedem neuen Rock Instrumental bewege ich mich zielsicherer in dieser Art von Musik. Wenn ich das nächste Instrumental aufnehme, werde ich vermutlich um einige Erfahrungen reicher sein. Denn als nächstes steht meine “Norway Tour” im Oktober dieses Jahres (2023) an. Stay tuned!

[longreads]

How Concerned Citizens Drove a Neo-Nazi Out of Rural Maine

Christopher Pohlhaus planned to build a fascist training compound in the woods of rural Maine. The local journalists, veterans, lumberjacks, and policymakers weren't having it.

Pohlhaus, 37, is a former U.S. marine, an itinerant tattoo artist, and a hardcore white-supremacist influencer. He is loud and hostile, and proud to be both. His voice is pitched surprisingly high, and he has a slight Southern drawl. He has a large body and small bald head; a blue-black tattoo crawls up the right side of his face, from his chin to his forehead. Over the years, Pohlhaus has collected thousands of social media followers, who know him by his nickname: Hammer.

Hammer had been living in Texas for a few years when, in March 2022, he bought the land in Maine. He told his followers that he was going to use it to build a haven, operational center, and training ground for white supremacists.

Check out our excerpt of The Atavist’s latest blockbuster story. 

[389]

PORTO ROCHA

[nanaluvbug]

🧀🥪🌶️🥭 The Ravening War portraits  🧀🥪🌶️🥭

patreon * twitch * shop  

[ID: a series of digitally illustrated portraits showing - top left to bottom right - Bishop Raphaniel Charlock (an old radish man with a big red head and large white eyebrows & a scraggly beard. he wears green and gold robes with symbols of the bulb and he smirks at the viewer) Karna Solara (a skinny young chili pepper woman with wavy green hair, freckled light green skin with red blooms on her cheeks. she wears a chili pepper hood lined with small pepper seeds and stares cagily ahead) Thane Delissandro Katzon (a muscular young beef man with bright pinkish skin with small skin variations to resemble pastrami and dark burgundy hair. he wears a bread headress with a swirl of rye covering his ears and he looks ahead, optimistic and determined) Queen Amangeaux Epicée du Peche (a bright mango woman with orange skin, big red hair adorned with a green laurel, and sparkling green/gold makeup. she wears large gold hoop earrings and a high leafy collar) and Colin Provolone (a scraggly cheese man with waxy yellow skin and dark slicked back hair and patchy dark facial hair. he wears a muted, ratty blue bandana around his neck and raises a scarred brow at the viewer with a smirk) End ID.)

[70sscifiart]

One of my favorites by Paul Lehr, used as a 1971 cover to "Earth Abides," by George R. Stewart. It's also in my upcoming art book!

[taizooo]

もともとは10年ほど前にTumblrにすごくハマっていて。いろんな人をフォローしたらかっこいい写真や色が洪水のように出てきて、もう自分で絵を描かなくて良いじゃん、ってなったんです。それで何年も画像を集めていって、そこで集まった色のイメージやモチーフ、レンズの距離感など画面構成を抽象化して、いまの感覚にアウトプットしています。画像の持つ情報量というものが作品の影響になっていますね。

映画『きみの色』山田尚子監督×はくいきしろい対談。嫉妬し合うふたりが語る、色と光の表現｜Tokyo Art Beat

[layla-keating]

#thistension

XO, KITTY — 1.09 “SNAFU”

[thistledown-au-warriors]

fire and ice - chapter 30

< Chapter 29 || Index || Book 3 - Forest of Secrets >

The snowy forest spread out around him, glowing white beneath the cold moon. Fire Heart stood on a tall, jagged rock. Beside him stood a faceless warrior. They smelled of ThunderClan. Behind them, a battle patrol of his Clanmates stood tall, muscles tensed. Frost sparkled on the stone beneath their paws. 

A group of faceless enemy cats stood down the slope, teeth bared and fur bristling. The ThunderClan battle patrol let out a fierce battle cry and the all leaped down onto the forest floor, and Fire Heart lunged at one of the enemy cats with a snarl. However, as soon as he landed a blow, all the enemy cats dissipated into black smoke. No trace of their scent was left in the still night air.

Bewildered, Fire Heart spun around, looking for his adversaries, but he soon froze. The bodies of his clanmates stood broke and bloodied behind him, scattered around the forest floor. Their blood pooled in the snow. Fire Heart felt bile rise through his throat. He wanted to wail into the night. 

Then he noticed. A single clanmate stood living - the faceless warrior. Their pelt was matted and red with blood. Blood of ThunderClan cats. Fire Heart felt himself bristle in horror and betrayal. Although the cat had no face, Fire Heart felt their malicious eyes on him.

  Fire Heart woke up with a start and turned to the nest beside him. Gray Stripe was curled up, fast asleep, his nose tucked under his thick tail. Fire Heart breathed a sigh of relief as he checked over his friend. The image of the faceless bloodied Clanmate was still vivid in his mind. He shivered. The bitter cold of the forest seemed to cling to his fur even here. He hadn't dreamed like this in moons - only vague imagery had plagued his subconscious since arriving from the WindClan mission. 

Gray Stripe stirred beside him, and Fire Heart flinched. His friend lifted his head, rubbing his eyes with a large paw. "What's wrong? Nightmare?" The warrior mumbled sleepily.

"You could say that." Fire Heart muttered, heart still pounding. "I'm sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"S'fine." His friend put his paw down and gazed at him. "One of your dreams?"

The ginger tom hesitated, then nodded. He'd told Gray Stripe about many other things before they went back to camp, including whatever he managed to bring himself to tell about his visions. His friend had then shocked him by saying that he was already used to Fire Heart's apparent recurring trashing and mumbling in his sleep, and only hadn't brought it up because he himself snored himself and figured it was just something embarrassing like that. "I'll be fine." Fire Heart added hastily. "Go back to sleep."

"If you're sure." Gray Stripe readjusted himself, tail draping over Fire Heart's back and tucking his nose under a paw. "Sleep soon you too." He meowed drowsily. Soon enough, the tom was back to sleep again.

Fire Heart knew he wouldn’t go back to sleep again, but he stayed in his nest and watched his friend sleeping until the dawn light began to shine through the walls of the den.

***

"And how long have you had these dreams for?"

"Since I was a kit, I think." Fire Heart answered, not uncomfortably. "I dreamt of the forest a lot before I joined ThunderClan… but they only seemed to have real significance after I was an apprentice for a while."

Violet Fang's tail swished, extra creases appearing on her flat face as she frowned. 

It was the morning after his dream. Spending the night with his own thoughts made him realize that he couldn't go on like this. His dreams had always gotten intense and mysterious before something big happened, and he wanted to be ready so no more cats he cared about would be in danger. Now, he sat with Violet Fang inside her herb storage, Misty Step and Stone Pelt standing guard just outside the large rock. He felt they too deserved to know, and he also didn't feel safe turning his back to the blinded Broken Tail.

"So, you've dreamed of the moonstone, of Broken Tail's first attack on camp, had visions of WindClan, and had a dream of another dream about danger to ThunderClan." Violet Fang recounted thoughtfully. Fire Heart had omitted his dreams that seemed to allude to Tiger's Claw - he knew he still had no evidence that would convince anyone to distrust the deputy besides his own words. "Why didn't you mention any of this before?" The healer went on, somewhat frustrated.

Fire Heart looked at his paws and shrugged. "I didn't know much about StarClan when it all started. And at first, I thought that I was nobody special to be receiving dreams from our warrior ancestors. Blue Fur wanted me to be a warrior anyway, I wouldn't be in ThunderClan otherwise."

The old molly huffed, and he saw her narrow her eyes. "The will of StarClan is as it is, we can do little to understand it. If they wanted you to be a healer, Blue Fur would be foolish to go against it."

His ear twitched uncomfortably. He felt defensive. "She was right though, we had two healers until recently. Er, no offense, Stone Pelt."

"None taken." The tom answered, his blue-green eyes blinking calmly.

"Also." Fire Heart went on. "I haven't dreamt much since I became a warrior. Just some sense of dread and nightmares."

"Of course." Rasped Violet Fang. "You're not trained. A connection with StarClan can be strong, but it's pointless if you don't know how to heed their call. They won't call for you like a lost kit in the woods forever."

A cold chill ran through him. Could he have risked losing these dreams forever if he didn't come forward? Fire Heart realized he couldn't figure out how that made him feel. As a well-trained warrior, could have he gone on living on the path his leader ordered him to live unquestioningly if he didn't have these dreams making him question himself? Or would that small seed of resentment just grow further, poisoning his loyalty to the Clan like slow-spreading rot? He shuddered.

Violet Fang got to her paws abruptly. "So, Fire Heart. Do you truly want to walk the path of a healer?" Fire Heart blinked at her, startled, and she went on. "You're a fine warrior. StarClan calls, and you certainly have potential, but it's clear you have two clear paths you could follow. You're aware by now of what being a healer means. You're a grown tom, you can choose."

He stared at her flat, scarred face for a moment. Had she been happy as a ShadowClan warrior? He knew she had many regrets, and Broken Tail's injured shape was the physical manifestation of them. But when he looked at her, all he saw was the healer he'd come to admire and trust. He glanced at the herbs stored in the rows of stone, and breathed in their comforting scent. It felt like the calming presence of the former healer, Leaf Spots, still stuck to the den after all this time in the scent of the herbs. He thought of the wise WindClan tom, Bark Face. He thought of Morning Bloom and her kit. He thought of Blazing Cinder. He thought of Blue Fur's very last life.

"I do." Fire Heart meowed. "I want to be a healer."

Violet Fang nodded, and he wondered if he imagined the glimmer in her eyes before she turned away sharply. "Then there's no time to waste."

The three cats followed the healer to Blue Fur's den, and Fire Heart lagged a bit behind, trying to control his racing heart. Misty Step fell into pace beside him.

"Misty Step." He murmured, and she looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "I hope I am not offending you. I didn't mean to waste your time and not be a warrior anymore."

"Nonsense." She replied. "I'm proud to watch you tread your own path, Fire Heart."

He smiled at her, relieved, but still was tense for what was to come. Violet Fang paused in front of the lichen veil beside Highrock. She announced their presence, and Fire Heart barely suppressed a groan as Tiger's Claw's growl sounded from within the den. "Come in."

Blue Fur laid in her nest with paws tucked under her, while Tiger's Claw stood beside her like a large shadow. Fire Heart dipped his head to them as he sat beside Violet Fang, while the other two warriors sat behind them. The menacing yellow eyes of the deputy fixed on the group suspiciously. The leader's eyes burned in the dim as she narrowed them, and the ginger tom noticed her gaze resting on him for a moment before she spoke. "What's the matter, Violet Fang?"

The old healer didn't dawdle. "As you know, Stone Pelt isn't my apprentice any longer. I'm not getting any younger, and I need to train a cat to be the next healer." Blue Fur's eyes turned into slits as the healer went on. "Fire Heart shows promise as a healer, and it would benefit ThunderClan if I trained him."

"No." Blue Fur answered immediately, her tone firm and almost hostile.

Violet Fang sighed. "Blue Fur-"

"Although you weren't present, Violet Fang," Tiger's Claw interrupted. "The other cats gathered here know that your leader ordered Fire Heart to not bring up this foolish idea again." His tone was drenched in disdain, and he glared at Fire Heart.

"Why is it foolish?" Violet Fang shot back. "He has skill, and I believe StarClan calls for him."

"He has not a single drop of Clan blood. Why would our ancestors bother with him?" The striped warrior retorted, lip curled to show his teeth.

"StarClan was witness to his naming ceremony. He's as much of a ThunderClan cat as any of us." Misty Step spoke up, chin raised.

A growl rumbled in the deputy's throat, but was silenced as Blue Fur sat up, tail twitching behind her. Fire Heart looked at her expectantly, but she wasn't looking at him anymore. "RiverClan is still a threat, and ShadowClan isn't less of one either just because it was Broken Tail who invaded our borders. We need warriors to make it through leaf-bare without any more losses."

"And healers." Violet Fang rasped, unfazed. "I know you haven't forgotten who cares for warriors who are injured in battle. Besides, it wasn't being outnumbered that put the Clan in risk when Broken Tail invaded."

Both leader and deputy flattened their ears at this statement, but it was Blue Fur who spoke first. "Fire Heart had the initiative of a warrior that day." She spat.

"Knowing how to act in a crisis isn't exclusive to warriors, Blue Fur." The healer shot back.

"None of this matters." Tiger's Claw growled. "You're asking moons of training to be thrown away for a young cat's whims!" 

"Thrown away? You think I forgot how to hunt and fight just because I'm not a warrior?" Violet Fang lashed her disheveled tail. "In ShadowClan healer apprentices are all taught warrior skills for a reason!" 

"This isn't ShadowClan." Tiger's Claw hissed. "Unless your loyalties began to waver now that your old leader is in our camp."

The old healer's neck fur bristled, eyes blazing with fury. "Broken Tail is no leader of mine!" 

This wasn't what Fire Heart wanted at all. He stood, blocking the way between the deputy and the healer before either could break out into fighting, and gazed pleadingly at Blue Fur, head low. "I truly believe this is the best way I can serve the Clan, Blue Fur, and I'll do my best to prove it and make you proud to have me as a healer. If you truly believe I must be a warrior for the sake of the Clan, I'll accept it. But I insist you at least consider this."

The gray molly's eyes met his, and she hesitated. 

Stone Pelt shifted closer, dipping his head. "Mom, I believe Leaf Spots approves of this, and I would be glad to know Fire Heart took my former position."

She glanced at her son, then draped her tail over her paws and closed her eyes in thought.

"He has a right to decide his destiny, Blue Fur." Violet Fang rasped, and there seemed to be more meaning behind her words, but Fire Heart's gaze remained on his leader. Blue Fur's ear merely twitched as she frowned.

"Tiger's Claw, what do you think?" She asked, eyes still closed.

"This is a waste of time, clearly." He snarled, still glaring at Fire Heart and Violet Fang with hostility. "I think you should stick with your decision."

"And you, Misty Step?"

"I wouldn't be here now if I didn't believe in Fire Heart's decision." The molly replied simply.

Blue Fur took a deep breath, then opened her eyes. She eyed Fire Heart, then turned to Violet Fang. "Very well. If StarClan will accept him at the moonstone, then so will I." She announced.

Fire Heart felt like his legs were going to give out. He fought to remain dignified, dipping his head and managing to babble his thanks as his heart did leaps inside his chest. Blue Fur nodded distractedly at him.

The healer dipped her head as well. "I shall take him to Highstones at the half-moon meeting. Until then, I'll be getting him started on some training along with his usual duties." 

"As you wish." Blue Fur replied, sounding almost defeated. She turned to her deputy. "I believe it's time to assign patrols now, Tiger's Claw. I'd like to be alone." Fire Heart didn't need to look at Tiger's Claw to notice the raw anger in him.

Dismissed, the cats padded out of the den. Before they walked even a fox-length away from the Highrock, Tiger's Claw long fur brushed Fire Heart's as the large cat craned his neck. "I'm watching you, kittypet." Tiger's Claw hissed in his ear. "I know you're planning something. Try to weaken my Clan, and I'll make you regret setting foot outside your Twoleg nest." 

Fire Heart watched the large tabby march past him towards his spot in the middle of the clearing. I haven't forgotten about you, Tiger's Claw , he thought angrily. His paws felt like they were following a path that perfectly matched his pads, and he wasn't alone. In a couple moons, he'd grown stronger, older and had more friends than before. Gray Stripe, Sand Storm, Princess, Misty Step, Stone Pelt, Violet Fang… 

If Blue Fur had changed her mind on this, perhaps he could change her mind about Tiger's Claw too. His dream flashed in his mind - Tiger's Claw already had ThunderClan blood in his claws, he only had to prove it. If this was the danger coming to ThunderClan, he had to hurry, before more innocent cats were hurt by the dark tabby.

He knew who to trust. With more certainty in his heart than he'd felt in a long time, he knew that he could take Tiger's Claw down.

[nevver]

Arts & Architecture, Sander Patelski

[chicleeblair]

First, Do No Harm [5/28] ||[FFN]

Rating: E

Pairings: Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd

An assailant from her past renders Meredith Grey temporarily deaf with her jaw wired shut. Derek traces the less visible damage that led to someone trying to silence her, and finds himself at the root. She can’t shake the belief that he’s only at her side out of obligation; once she recovers, he’ll resent her for the time he spent away from the NIH. Neither of them can answer the true question: Is this is a six-week truce, or will their skill at non-verbal conversation will keep their marriage from shattering with the silence?

AO3||FFN