#augh. thank u for this
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happy 2nd anniversary g witch… 2 years since my brain chemistry was changed irrevocably
#g witch#gundam witch from mercury#the witch from mercury#suletta mercury#miorine rembran#sulemio#gundam wfm#mioletta#augh it’s them!!! i won’t forget how happy i was to watch ep 1 for the first time…#thank u for the brainworms
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I heard it's your birthday this week! Happy birthday to you!
In celebration I bring you a small gift that I hope you will appreciate. I know it's not canon, but I just got so inspired I wrote this a few months ago and decided to finish it up and post it for you today. I hope you like it!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/54452362
Absolutely loved it so I drew fanart inspired from it ahaihsksbdkdnd already lost it in the comments but 🫶💖 thank you again for writing this ;w; it was such a nice read 💖💖💖
#pix answers#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#into the ballpit au#michael afton#glamrock freddy#uhhhh#fanart#fanart I drew going into the fanart tag so o can save the fic link xD#but augh absolutely…. loved it…. thank u💥💥💥💥#my art
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pairing: narumi gen x gn!reader (no prns)
summary: he's always thought that anyone would do if he just wanted to find love but he realizes you're the one he wishes for, inspired by pop song by yonezu kenshi
warnings: some profanities from narumi
wc: 1300
Narumi Gen hated a lot of things, but one of his least favourites of all time was "true love". He despised when people would describe their love for another as "true love". It couldn't possibly be that serious. Just say you loved your partner. That was probably the extent feelings got to anyways— you just so happened to like each other at the same time. To him that was plenty of a feat alone, why would you have to make it sound like more than it is? For the sake of love? Ridiculous.
To him, that was truly all love was. If there was someone who liked him when he happened to like them too, that was enough. No need for years of pining, no need to get attached to some unrequited love. All that noise about love and destiny surely wasn't all that necessary.
Now, this wasn't to say that he didn't wish to find love— because he did. Like any other person, he truly wished to be loved. It was just that what he had in mind wasn't some deep pure love that'd last forever, nor was it a promise for eternity. He just wished for a light-hearted "I love you" here and there with someone he found special.
And for that, anyone would do. He'd find someone who fancied him along the way, and hopefully he'd like them back. That was all there was to it.
This meant his plan for finding his partner was sitting around and waiting. As horribly lame as that sounded, because he was Narumi Gen, this wasn't that hopeless of a plan. So, that's what he did. He'd go around saving people and doing his duties (to the absolute bare minimum) while making sure he was constantly trending, hoping that one day, someone would like him.
Today he was standing around for a solid five extra minutes after he defeated the honju with ease, hoping the media would snap some nice pictures of him, or he'd finally charm someone this time.
"Captain, you ought to stop that," you said. "It's rather embarrassing, you look desperate now."
"Oh, would you shut up," he said. "You're ruining my good name!"
You snorted. "What good name," you scoffed.
"I'm starting to think its your fault I'm not charming anyone. Perhaps if you didn't stop me every time, someone would have found me by now," he said.
"Yeah, right. Captain Ashiro seems to be having no issues charming people and I've never seen her try to," you said.
"You little shit," he said.
"Besides they're going to be utterly disappointed if they think this is what you're like and then they find out what you're… actually like," you said, and he was starting to think you wanted him to fire you. "It's okay. Someone will see how you're actually lovely at times soon."
"What?" he asked, shocked by what you said.
"What?" you replied, confused.
"You— you said lovely," he said quietly. Suddenly he felt flustered.
"Oh," you said, looking away and avoiding eye contact. It wasn't like you didn't mean to say that, but you didn't think it was that big of a deal. Rather, how flustered he sounded took you by surprise. “Well, you’re a little lame but you’re a good guy. Like you pretend you only do it for the media, but I know you’re always checking the alleyways that don’t have as much surveillance just in case, and checking alleyways isn’t something a captain has to do. And we both know the media isn’t writing about anything you do there. Things like that.”
“You never know!” he said, and you snorted.
“Alright then,” you said. “You do you, Captain.”
“I will!” he said back, trying to sound proud.
A week had passed and here he was, doing what he always did after arriving fashionably late to the scene and taking all the kaiju out in a matter of minutes: standing around trying to look good. Because he wanted love, and anyone would do. Anyone who liked him was supposed to do.
...
And yet he wished for you.
He wished that when he woke up, the first thing he would see was you. He wished that you'd smile at him everyday with love and genuine joy the way you did to others, and he wished that you’d smile that way to him alone. He wished that after a long day, he was the one you came home to. He wished from the bottom of his heart that you would always be safe and no harm would ever come your way. He wished that your days were filled with laughter and smiles and he knew he would risk his life to protect that.
It was so unlike him in a way he absolutely hated. True love was supposed to be nonsense and someone being ‘the one’ was supposed to be some dramatic line in a movie. It upset him, that he was so utterly fond of you. Yet, no matter how much it upset him, it didn't change the fact that he was, and he couldn't deny it anymore after trying to ignore it for the full week.
So here he was, acting stupid again, hoping that you’d scold him again or tell him he’s embarrassing himself, because that’s what it’s come down to. He just wanted another reason to talk to you.
But you wouldn’t come to stop him after 10 whole minutes.
“Why aren’t you stopping me?” he asked, irritated.
“Pardon?” you asked, utterly confused.
“Why aren’t you telling me to stop?” he asked again. He was aware how silly he sounded, but he was pissed off that you meant so much to him so he had to take it out on you.
“Because you told me to stop last time??” you replied. “I thought you were going to keep this up until you found yourself a partner.”
“You’re the one who told me to find someone that saw how I was…. lovely…. at times,” he said, but said the lovely very quietly. Remembering that you had described him as lovely made his cheeks burn and he’d rather die than let you see that.
“I mean, yeah. I do think you should,” you said.
“Don’t you notice, though?” he asked quietly, avoiding eye contact. There was a moment of silence.
“I do,” you said, and immediately he looked up to face you. You had a grin on your face and you looked so proud— you looked like you had won a game. Oh, how he hated you.
“You’re so annoying,” he said, and you raised an eyebrow.
“Rich coming from you,” you said.
“So, do you—,” he started to yell before cutting himself off. Carefully, he tried again. “Would you please… uh… be mine…?”
Oh, this is so embarrassing, he thought. Perhaps you’d laugh at him, but he wanted to do this properly, or at the very least try to. He’d be far more than just stupid to mess this up now. He was finally in love.
But your laughter never came. When he looked up your eyes were wide and you looked so flustered, but soon you had the most beautiful smile on your face.
“I would absolutely love to,” you said.
So he kissed you right then and there, because there was nothing he wanted to do more at the moment.
He laughed a little.
“What’s wrong?” you asked.
“No, nothing,” he said.
There was no way just anyone would do— it had to be you.
#narumi gen x reader#gen x reader#gen narumi x reader#narumi gen#kn8 x reader#kaiju no. 8 x reader#i do not know#i really do not know#i dont know if its ooc... i dont know if it turned out ok...#i do know it strayed away from pop song and i also know i didnt do pop song justice#this actually started rather differently but here we are i think this is still closer to pop song than i originally was#NOT THAT ANYONE WAS FORCING ME TO STICK TO POP SONG#i just think im very. augh. bc its so dialogue heavy and i think the dialogue i write after like 4 lines goes no where other than DOWNHILL#maybe the endings the issue. might try to fix the ending#augh. i hope it is alright#sorry narumi stans#ok perhaps the ending is a tad bit better now#idk IDK it is okay im MOVING ON#THANK U FOR READING THOUGH OMG I DIDN'T SAY TY FOR READING#I REALLY AM SO THANKFUL IF YOU READ IT AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED !!!
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Ok I'm gonna start sharing some stuff. Here is the map for "Nenana", the world of Broken Horizon!
Technically this map is still a WIP, as I have not yet developed all of the areas and biomes, especially those on the left continent, however they're not super relevant as most of the story takes place within this section (especially the northwest side):
Most of the planet has shattered coastlines and terrain irregularities due to the Cercerion's apocalyptic Grand Storm, which pretty much tore the world apart. After his defeat a lot of the terrain settled, but many electromagnetic anomalies remained, creating floating islands that remain skybound to this day.
The six eternal storms that remain are not as powerful as the original, but they are still able to affect the terrain whenever they pass.
(Also, I do have many cities and locations written down, but I haven't added them into this map yet! I will update this sometime soon with places :] )
#windyart#broken horizon#mapmaking#sure ill make a tag for maps#idk what else to tag theres nothing! its a map!!! augh#also i thought nenana would be a sweet and also ironic name because it means a safe place to camp by the river#of which there is none in this world. thank u for coming to my ted talk
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being like 5’2” - 5’4” is so attractive to me like omg ur head fits right under my chin and right in my tits ♡ let me hold you. i love being a tall girl
#im not picky about height. i do have a preference for shorter ppl tho 🙈#i just like being bigger hehe. like augh i love how u fit in my arms i love how i curl around u when we spoon i can hold u so close#im basically a giant teddy bear that holds u back n keeps u cozy. but also being small means ur so easy to fold n toss around 😩💕#i want to be big and comfy like.. my arms r always a good place to relax 💆🏾♀️#we can trade places sometimes‚ i won't say no 😏💕 but i wanna take care of you 💐🧎🏾♀️ this is already fulfilling for me#literally the most peaceful thing in the world#also luv to lean down or get on my knees sometimes for someone shorter than me. i am a hugger i am wrapping my arms#around ur waist and squeezing us together (but not too much). i enjoy being pressed against each other#having to hug someone over the shoulders out of convenience is always like nooo i give really good hugs i promise#lost the plot here folks.. this is a short person appreciation post ♡ that was very hot of you#my easily excitable heart thanks u 🙈 im so drawn to u like waow 👉🏾👈🏾 hi#god..
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something that rly grinds my gears in theatre is when choices are made solely based on time period. and not including themes, symbolism, yk the actual Meaning of the show alongside its true-to-context setting.
take gatsby for example. you can either go “okay it’s in the 1920s in these parts of new york so we’re gonna have super glitz and glam here here and here” or. or.
you can say “okay well we know that for jay and daisy, their wealth came from other people’s downfalls (daisy through turning down jay and jay through wolfshiem’s deeds) and their status and class privilege is represented through myrtle getting hit by the car right. so let’s make that the entire setting of the play, disguised by glitz and glam. let’s make the entire set shiny and pretty and have those shiny and pretty things actually be smashed-up car parts, meaning the car accident is ‘happening’ the whole play, while still upholding the illusion of new money glam”. do u get me.
#anyway uhhhhhh if anyone wants an audio of ART/issac cole powell gatsby just dm. ur english teacher will thank u#the great gatsby#art gatsby#gatsby musical#the great gatsby musical#gatsby an american myth#<3 augh i miss it so much#fizz freaks#musicals#AMERICAN MYTH. MYTH. do u GET IT NOW#mythology TEACHESYOUTHINGS iiii need to stop#mythology teaches you things a) and b) the american dream Is Also the myth. not just gatsby’s story like do youuuuuuu evennnnn fuck w it#liek me fr#like do u get that jay is getting hit by the car the whole fucking play. do u get that his reaching out n myrtle’s r the same. do u mt fans
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The way Carla showed up absolutely smitten down bad horrendous in the gayest of outfits she could find just be called a friend ohhh the PAIN
#the way carla is the one thats down bad is such a breath of fresh air though#thank u corrie for girlkisser carla connor we all say in unison#shes so incredibly sexy though LISA PLEASE#shes clearly been through this before shes like augh she's just straight its whatever#but with carla literally turning up in this how could u at all think this is a straight lady#lisa ur so funny sometimes#coronation street#swarla#carla x lisa#i love lisa swain SHAKES HER affectionately#carla connor#lisa swain
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MY SILVER PMV IS DONE!!!!
I've been working on this for almost a month and a half, and I'm SOSOSO excited to get to finally share it with y'all! :D it's a little love letter to his arc of the diasomnia story, and i'm so honored to get to make something special for my lil guy <3
#PLEASE if u are a silver fan PLS watch. its almost 4 minutes long and it's all abt him babey. my little GUY#genuinely the single most ambitious proj i think i've ever done. and i built a 360 master controller rig for DR once#i'm shaking a little bit i'm overwhelmed. this has been my LIFE for the past lil bit i just. augh i poured my heart into it i LOVE him#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#silver vanrouge#book 7 spoilers#ch 7 spoilers#diasomnia#this also prominently features the knight of dawn and lilia. the song will make that very clear as to Why. OUGUUGH#THANK U TO LETTIE FOR HELPING BRAINSTORM AT THE BEGINNING AND TO ELL FOR LETTING ME SEND A MILLION WIPS#suntails#sebek zigvolt#animatic#it's not an animatic at this point bc i went too crazy but i think more ppl associate fan vids w that terminology so yknow. blinks
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ive been like browsing through your accounts rapidly since 3rd grade.
#asks#thank u bUT AUGH? KIDS? TODDLERS? ARE LOOKING AT MY CONTENT?#It's a sign I need to draw weirder horrific things.
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And if I was god, I'd make you all believe in me
#caption is from Autotheist by Baby bugs#that song is Literally Him.#augh im so proud of this one#again thank u keka for teaching me the ways of colour jitter#theres two watermarks here but theyre kinda hidden#like an i spy hehe#one#hfjone#hfj airy#hfjone airy#object show#osc#osc art#object show art#object shows#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#scotcharts#fav#favfavfav#love this one..
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case in point for what I mean (kinda, plus take fan art of your tma sona):
if youre cold, hes cold!! let him in
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maybe a controversial opinion but while i really love jiang cheng as a character he is deeply self-centered as a person. and seeing people fight tooth and nail claiming he isn't, or is just misunderstood, or that he has genuine valid reasons to be selfish when plenty of other characters make the difficult choice to forego status and opportunities for what they believe is genuinely right to do (read: wei wuxian, wen ning, wen qing, lan wangji, jiang yanli, mianmian, etc.)
it's just odd to me. especially if they're talking about the novels.
mxtx didn't give jiang cheng the name "sandu shengshou" as a quirky coincidence. there's a REASON she named him & his sword after the 3 poisons of Buddhism (specifically ignorance, greed, and hatred). it's crucial to the story that jiang cheng is NOT selfless and that wei wuxian IS.
it's important to accept that wei wuxian is, by their society's standards, not morally gray; he represents several Buddhist ideals in direct contrast of jiang cheng and multiple people attest to wei wuxian's strong moral character, which is a lot of why jiang cheng even feels bitter about him to begin with.
it's crucial, because by the end of the novel jiang cheng realizes the extent of this and begins to let go!
the twin prides thing wasn't jiang cheng wanting them to 100% mirror the twin jades. he does care about wei wuxian, but he wanted wei wuxian to stay his right hand man, in part the way wei changze was for jiang fengmian.
and if there's one thing you can notice about wei changze in the novels, it's that literally nobody talks about him. he is only ever mentioned when his cool mysterious mountain sect wife cangse-sanren is mentioned, or (even more rarely) when they discuss him as a servant to jiang fengmian. regardless of jiang fengmian's own feelings, wei changze was considered lesser to him and didn't seem to outdo him, since nobody's out there years later still waxing poetry about wei changze's skills.
it may not be the only thing jiang cheng wants out of a twin pride dynamic, but it is a big part of it. regardless of his parents' intentions in taking wei wuxian in and treating him certain ways, this twin pride right-hand man thing is what jiang cheng has felt owed since childhood. he gave up his dogs for wei wuxian, people gossip about his sect heir position with wei wuxian there... jiang cheng wants the reciprocation of what he views as personal sacrifices.
he is ignorant to the depth of what wei wuxian must've suffered for over 6 years as a malnourished orphan child on the streets. he hates how wei wuxian's intelligence, witty charm, and cultivation abilities are naturally stronger than his own. he does care about wei wuxian a lot and want them to be together as sort of-brothers, sort of-friends, sort of-young master and sect servant...
...but if it's between that unclear (yet still caring) relationship and being able to save himself just a little bit more, jiang cheng nearly always manages to clam up in the face of danger and choose the latter, which ultimately benefits himself most. maybe it's a stretch to call that sort of thing greed, but it certainly isn't selfless.
there are of course plenty of justifications for this. it's his duty as sect heir. his home and sect was severely damaged by the wen attack and subsequent war; he had to protect himself, etc.
but doesn't that prove the point?
wei wuxian may be charming, but in terms of pure social standing, he is lower and far more susceptible to being punished or placed in harm's way by people who have more power and money. to protect wei wuxian, yunmeng jiang's long-term head disciple and semi-family member, even in the face of backlash and public scrutiny would've been the selfless thing to do. this is what wei wuxian does for the wen remnants in the burial mounds.
jiang cheng does not choose this. it's not even an unreasonable choice for him to make! nobody else in the great clans is doing such a thing, stepping out of line to take on a burden that could weaken them in the long-run. wei wuxian himself doesn't hate jiang cheng for it; he lets go of these things and focuses on what good he can do in the present.
jiang cheng thinks further into the future - what would happen to him if he continued vouching for wei wuxian and taking his side? what about jiang cheng's face, his sect's face? would wei wuxian even care to reciprocate somehow? everyone expects him to cut off wei wuxian for being dangerous, for threatening his position, for...
do you see what i mean? to call jiang cheng selfless for falling in line with exactly what people expected him to do after the war is not only wrong, it's foolish.
"but they faked their falling-out!" okay. why fake it to begin with, except to protect jiang cheng and the jiang sect's own face? is that selfless? who does it ultimately serve to protect? wei wuxian canonically internalizes the idea that he stains all that he touches, including lan wangji, and agrees to the fake fight because he doesn't want to cause the jiang sect harm. regardless, it eventually slides into a true falling-out, and in the end jiang cheng is more or less unscathed reputation-wise while wei wuxian falls.
that isn't selfless. it's many things! it's respecting his clan and his ancestors, it's making a good plan for the future of his sect and cultivation... but it isn't a truly selfless in the interest of what's right rather than in the interest of duty and what's good for him and his family lineage.
that brings me to my next point: even though wei wuxian hid the truth of the golden core transfer, jiang cheng spent nearly 20 years believing that the golden core "renewal" he was given was a birthright gift of wei wuxian's from baoshan-sanren, an immortal sect teacher of wei wuxian's mother's and a martial elder to wei wuxian.
of course we all know that's a big fat lie, but jiang cheng believed that wei wuxian gave up a critical emergency use gift to him for decades! he was lied to, yes, but jiang cheng immediately agreed without even needing to be convinced. the light in his dead eyes came back with hope the moment wei wuxian even said baoshan-sanren's name. he accepted wei wuxian's offer to give that up to him and take it via identity theft without missing a beat.
with how mysterious and revered baoshan-sanren is, that's obviously not a light sacrifice to just give up to anyone, no matter how close they might be to you. pretending to be wei wuxian to take the gift could even be considered dangerous. what if she found out and got offended? could wei wuxian be hurt by that?
jiang cheng doesn't even hesitate. wei wuxian is the one who mentions that if jiang cheng doesn't pretend to be him, the immortal master could get angry and they'd both be goners. and funnily enough, the day they do go to "the mountain", jiang cheng is the one worried and suspiciously wondering if wei wuxian was lying to him or had misremembered.
of course they've both been traumatized like hell prior to this point. but still: it speaks to how broken he was at the moment as well as to his character overall.
i digress: jiang cheng "gets his golden core back" via what he believed was a gift that should've been wei wuxian's to use in serious emergencies. rather than use it for himself, wei wuxian risked his own safety and gave it to jiang cheng... and jiang cheng still ends up embittered and angry, believing that wei wuxian is arrogant and selfish.
if he truly views them as 100% brothers and equals with no caveats, why would he think that way? it's not like he needs to grovel before wei wuxian for doing that, or to reciprocate... but this is what i mean when i say jiang cheng feels he is owed things by wei wuxian. wei wuxian's actions hold a very different weight in jiang cheng's mind, and jiang cheng himself doesn't ever act the same way, except once.
is it wrong for him to feel like he is owed something? it depends. many asian cultures, including my own, feel that a person owes their family in ways that may not make sense to westerners. for example, it's considered normal for a child to owe their parents for giving birth to them, or to other caretakers for feeding, clothing, sheltering, educating them, etc.
however, something like verbally saying "thank you" or "i'm sorry" to family is considered crazy- why would you owe that? you're supposed to inconvenience your family; saying thank you or sorry is the sort of thing you say to a stranger or acquaintance. i get half-seriously lectured by my elders on this a lot even now, even though they know such phrases are just considered good manners in the US.
this muddies up the idea of wei wuxian being jiang cheng's family vs his family's charge or servant even more. jiang cheng wants wei wuxian to be close... but ultimately doesn't really choose to use what power he DOES have to protect wei wuxian. he considers himself still owed something that in his mind wei wuxian flagrantly never repays.
this isn't even getting into how despite spending a majority of his time with the yiling patriarch he never once noticed that wei wuxian stopped using any spiritual power-based cultivation. even lan wangji, who met them far more rarely, realized that something was wrong and that wei wuxian had taken some sort of spiritual damage, hence the "come with me to gusu".
of course manpain is fun and i'm not immune to the juicy idea of them reconciling and talking things out... but jiang cheng is deeply mired in his own desire to be "above" wei wuxian in multiple ways, and doesn't realize the extent of wei wuxian's actions, the intentions behind them, and the consequences wei wuxian knowingly faced for them.
to not recognize this about jiang cheng, especially in the novels, is really revisionist if you ask me. i reiterate that i really do like him a lot. he's flawed, angry, traumatized and has poor coping mechanisms, an overall fascinating character... but he is not selfless nor ideal, and i seriously draw the line at people saying he is.
wen ning shoves this all into his face at lotus pier to disastrous results. it is the reason why jiang cheng's a total mess at guanyin temple, and the reason jiang cheng ultimately doesn't tell wei wuxian about the fact that he ran towards the wens on purpose.
for that one last act of his to have really been selfless, he needs to not seek anything in return. he did it purely because it was right to do to protect someone else. if that means wei wuxian never finds out about it, so be it.
that moment that ended up causing jiang cheng irreversible harm is not a debt that wei wuxian owes him. it hurts, but no matter how bitter it is, that realization is so important to him changing in the future.
#keri chats#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#jiang cheng#long post#this is NOT anti/crit for him btw i like him a lot i just feel like nobody interprets him the way i perceive him#which even then my interpretation is p nebulous... worth saying i also heavily disagree w ppl who think of him as an evil shithead#he's upper class & steeped in jianghu politics/self preservation. flawed as hell human being but they're all war criminals lbr it's#Magical Genocide and War Crimes: The Novel#anyway this post is messy as fuck but if u read all of it: thank u. if u agree with me: ilu. i wish more ppl understood revenge ethics#as they stand in asian cultures and history vs in western (almost always culturally christian) cultures#it's unclear how far in the future the extras are but at one pt he's ''the same as ever'' which at best indicates slow emotional growth#and like. ykw? i don't think he'll be repressed bitter angry thinking abt his losses n pain forever. i think he can grow i believe in him#i have so many thoughts on this i could've made this post go on forever augh
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convincing myself that unfollowing a mutual i literally never talked to and don’t share any interests with anymore and whose posts are bothering me is okay actually and there’s not some unspoken commitment except when there is and one of my mutuals unfollows me and i’m heartbroken-
#the bothering is the only real reason i’ll unfollow i guess. like i have mutuals i don’t talk to often and our interests have diverged but#i can put up with their posts just like they do mine (hello my non lh mutuals u guys are so brave thank u ily)#it’s just the realization that ohh i’m always going ‘augh’ at their posts and never 'omg hi' maybe i should go ahead and do us both a favor#we need a ‘wish u the best’ button i needed that when i had mutuals unfollow me and i need it now#how am i still talking i’m still not finished with this midterm good god
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The girls <3
[ID: Two images of two sketches on soft brown backgrounds. The first is of Nyx from Hades the game, she’s looking at the camera neutrally, with her hands folded in her lap. The shading is blacked out and there are white highlights and sparkles around her. The lines of her clothing fade into roughly drawn mist at the edges. The second image is of Eurydice, from Hades. She is drawn very roughly, and very similarly to her in game sprite; with her hand on her hip, smiling. She has dark and white sparkles around her. Both images have the artist’s signatures and watermarks.]
#obsessed with the women in this game#i hope i get a chance to draw more of them bc my goDDDD#hades game#hades#eurydice#nyx#nyx hades#eurydice hades#so hard to tag for greek mythology retelling esp when they named the game god damn ‘hades’#thank u supergiant v original#artists on tumblr#notsoproart#art#sketch#drawing#hades fanart#hades fandom#hades 2018#need to figure out what tags we use on tumblr augh
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hm… no I don’t think Gertrude was feeling cold and uncaring when she sacrificed Michael. I don’t think she just dusted her hands off and walked away. I think she was used to risky plans and close calls, even used to an occasional casualty, but her blood ran cold when she realized she was choosing to send one to their death. not collateral damage — a sacrifice.
and I think she tried to be as numb as possible, calculating, deciding, even as she knew deep down that only one of her assistants would walk straight into hell on her word.
and I think she found him a bit annoying before that. the jaded resent the naive — it isn’t fair, but it’s true. but by the time he brought her tea the next day, in her mind, he was already dead. everyone looks better dead. optimism, trust, loyalty all become virtues where they were once liabilities.
I don’t think she didn’t feel the gravity of her choice. I think she did it anyway.
and she did not hesitate.
#the concept of necessary sacrifice makes me a little bite bite scratch bite#how do you choose one person to die for the safety of the world?#but that’s not the right question#how do you *not* make that choice? how do you let the world die?#be hated and reviled by everyone for your betrayal#but they wouldn’t be around to hate you if you hadn’t done it#augh#and yes I know it wasn’t technically necessary thank u mag 160 you sick bastard#but at the time she wouldn’t have known that#yes I’m a Michael stan and a Gertrude apologist. we exist.#fuck it maintagging#tma#michael distortion#michael shelley#gertrude robinson
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SCREAMS CRIES SOBS AT KIRK IMMEDIATELY KNOWING SMTH IS WRONG W HIS BF AND ALL PANICKED GOING “Doc! Don’t you know me?”
LIKE THE WAY KIRK AND SPOCK LOOK SO DEJECTED AND SAD AND PISSED AT RHE SAME TIME SHUT THE HELL UP NOBODY TOUCH ME DONT TOUCH ME DONT TOYCH ME !!
#mcspirk#star trek#star trek tos#spock#james t kirk#bones mccoy#s1 e21#s1 ep21#The Return Of The Archons#underrated episode#it’s just mcspirk in crazy getups for like 40 minutes waltzing around almost holding hands#and also Spock with his cool headscarf cape thing#he’s my wife actually#he’s KIRK’s wife actually thank u#and so is fucking bones see the way they dropped everything as soon as bones was under the control of Landhu#I’m kmsing my GOD I JUST#AUGH
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