#au: valkyrie

[rubyfunkey]

half-maiden scribbles

[harmonysixx]

ok listen - what if I made a whole ass AU of an AU just because I hyperfixate on the premise of something that's not even canon

that's a thing people do right

anyways, this is for a hw brothers but Wind goes through it after LU fanfic feat. fun people like Tetra, Ravio, Skull Kid and some random wolf I guess

[arc-misadventures]

An Easy Prize to Win

Yang: Hey, Jaune, I’ve been asking everyone this question, guess whose turn it is~?

Jaune: Mine?

Yang: Yes it is!

Jaune: Haa… okay, what is this question of yours?

Yang: Everyone in, Atlas goes into hiding for the largest game of hide, and go seek! Where the winner wins one billion Lien! So, where do you hide?

Jaune: You’ve asked everyone this question?

Yang: Yeah, I’ve received some crazy answers.

Jaune: Such as?

Weiss: I said I would float in the sky on one of my glyphs.

Jaune: Clever.

Penny: I was going to do the same with my jet boots. Should I devise a different hiding spot?

Jaune: You both probably should.

Penny: Oh dear.

Blake: I would hide in a box, with my books.

Jaune: That seems stereotypical for a cat faunas.

Blake: Hey?!

Ren: I was simply going to meditate in a tree, and wait for it to all blow over.

Jaune: Simple, sounds just like you.

Ruby: I was going to bury myself under a pile of cookies so no one would find me!

Jaune: I take it, Nora’s idea was on a similar vein, but with pancakes?

Nora: What?! How did you know, my plan was foolproof!

Jaune: Not, really. It sounds like something you both would do. But, that aside it wouldn’t work.

NR: How so?

Jaune: You’d both eat your cover.

NR: …

Ruby: Yeah… I would eat my cover…

Nora: Me too… And, I would not regret it!

Jaune: And what about you, Yang?

Yang: I would hide down in one of the ‘secret vaults.’ But, I think, Ironwood would also be there, and would catch me hiding…

Oscar: Crap, that was my plan too.

Jaune: Well, it’s a clever idea nonetheless.

Yang: Enough about us, where would you hide?

Jaune: At my birthday party.

Yang: Pfft! What?! Seriously, what makes you think no one would find you at a birthday party, let alone your own birthday party?

Jaune: Because it was my birthday yesterday, and no one showed up.

Winter: What?! But, I sent out all those invitations to make sure people would come! Did none of you show up?!

Ruby: There was a party?

Nora: It was, Jaune’s birthday?!

Ren: Oh no…

Yang: W-What?! How come you didn’t tell us?!

Jaune: You missed the last two, when I told you. What difference does one more matter?

Yang: We didn't miss your birthday! R-Right guys?

Blake: Uhh…?

Oscar: We did my birthday…

Weiss: Why didn’t we get any invitations?!

Winter: I don’t know?! Penny: Did you get an invitation?

Penny: I did not.

Winter: What?! But, I sent you all an invitation two weeks ago for his surprise birthday party?! How come no one, but, Jaune got an invitation?!

Weiss: How come you didn't show up? You planned this whole thing!

Winter: Father was trying to us my position to his advantage in political dealings again, I had to put a stop to it before anything happened.

Ruby: So... Jaune had a surprise birthday party... where he was the only one that was invited...

Nora: Oh gods...

Jaune: There's still cake if you want some, I didn't have any.

Winter: What? Why didn't you have any?

Jaune: I wasn't in the mood for cake after having that 'surprise birthday party,' Besides, it was coconut. I hate coconuts.

Winter: Ohhh... fuck...

Jaune: I told you it was pointless to tell anyone...

Pyrrha: I'm sorry!

Jaune: Haa... don't be... Besides, no one likes to go to a birthday party they're not friends with...

RWBYONRPW: ...

Winter: I don't suppose you guys can think of anything that might fix this?

Yang: If we did, we would have already done it.

Winter: Well... shit...

///

Consider this part of the, Friends AU

[howi99]

A Knight second chance 9

Blake: *glaring daggers at Jaune*

Ren: ... Jaune, what did you do?

Jaune: *shrug* I stated the obvious. *Point to the cat ears* It's not like she even TRIED hiding her identity. *Doing a little wave at her, with a smile*

Blake: *looking furious*

Ren: ... But why the antagonisms?

Jaune: If i told you it keeps her from thinking about running away from here, you'd believe me?

Ren: ... Does it have anything to do with what happened at the docks?

Jaune: ... No?

___________________________________________

Team RWBY: *arriving at the docks after Blake was "forced" to explained her backstory to her team*

Blake: What the-

Jaune: *speaking with one of the White Fang which is already in handcuffs* Oh don't get me wrong, i don't like the SDC one bit, but-

Ruby: *perplexed to see her friend here* Jaune?

Jaune: *turning to see them* Oh, hey gang!

Yang: *looking at the bunch of White Fangs being arrested by the police* What... Happened here?

Jaune: *shrug* They tried stealing a shipment of Dust. And hey, i'm the first person to say that the SDC suck-

Weiss: Hey!

Jaune: *smiling* Weiss, your father is the main reason why Vacuo is dirt poor. And they refuse to send dust to Menagerie.

Weiss: *pointing at the faunus on the ground* Because of them!

Blake: *frowning at Weiss*

Weiss: *rolling her eyes* The terrorist, not the faunus.

Jaune: *taking a pamphlet from his pocket* Actually, the embargo debuted BEFORE the White Fang was even a thing. So it's totally because of segregation, Weiss.

Weiss: B-but-

Jaune: *cuting her with a smile* Anyway, that's not important for now. What's important is that the situation was de-escalated and that nobody was hurt.

Blake: How!?

Jaune: ... I called the authorities? *Shaking his head* Blake, they are civilians, not trained soldiers. Heck, it wasn't even hard to explain to them that if they cooperated, they wouldn't be tried as terrorists, but as thieves.

Black: *who had a "perfect" speach ready* Uh!?

Grunt: ... He also knocked out most of our heavy hitters while WALKING to them with a smile. And we were shooting him! So uh... Yeah, we aren't dealing with that.

Yang: That's badass.... *Smirk* And frightening.

Jaune: *Sigh* It also hurts like a bitch. *Chuckle* I wouldn't recommend it. *Picking up one of the guns* The only reason it worked was because they were using subsonic ammunitions of 9mm.

Grunt: *sigh* The guy, Roman, said it was for discretion. If it wasn't of that, we would have been fine.

___________________________________________

Ren: You did steal her moment, no?

Jaune: *shrug* Meh, it's not like that's going to be the last time... Also, duck.

Ren: *perplexed* Duck? *Get hit behind the head by a creampie Blake tried to throw at Jaune* !?

Silence in the cafeteria

Nora: *jumping on the table* I'LL AVENGE YOU! *Throwing a fish at Yang by mistake* Oops...

Yang: *her semblance activating with a grin* FOOD WAR!!!

___________________________________________

Velvet: *under a table with Coco and Russel* You want Coco expertise?

Russel: Yeah!

Coco: ... Your team did bully V, why should i help you?

Velvet: *frowning* Coco, Russel's a good guy. And even the rest of his team aren't really that bad. *Sigh* Cardin was mainly angry because the white fang kept attacking his mother's store.

Coco: ... *Sigh* You are too good, V. *Looking at Russel* What do you want?

Russel: W-well, i-

Dove: *taking cover* Oh, hi you Velvet. You were still interested in coming to the arcade with us?

Velvet: *smiling* Hey Dove and yes! But i was wondering if my team could come?

Dove: Don't see why not. *Cardin falls next to him* Hey big guy, Velvet wants to know if she can bring her friends with her to the arcades?

Cardin: *shaking off the food from his head* Uh? *Looking at Velvet with a slight blush* Oh uh, yeah, sure. *Picking up a plate as a shield, going back into the melee*

Dove: *looking for a "weapon", picking up a breadstick and following his leader*

Coco: uh... They do seem a lot nicer. *Looking back at Russel* So back to my help.

Russel: *picking up invitations to a nice restaurant from his pocket* W-well i was planning to ask my girlfriend out, but i don't really have anything nice to wear and-

Coco: Say less, i'll help you out.

Russel: *smiling* Thank you! Now if you excuse me *picking food for the fight* My team needs me! *Leave the cover to follow his friends*

Coco: ... By the way, the big guy totally has a crush on you.

Velvet: Pfft, Cardin? That's ridiculous!

Coco: Uh-huh, if you say so.

[hu-arts]

Valk bakery and ra*bits cafe au

[pilot-boi]

Atlas-era Nora and Penny fusion for @rwby-encrusted-blog

LOOK AT HER. LOOK AT HER. THE MOST FRECKLED GINGER EVER. SHE WILL GLOMP YOU, IT IS NOT OPTIONAL

Specific fusion you wanna see? [Buy Me A Ko-Fi]

[knight-dwx-09]

Hiding (Not Really) From Them

Jaune cleave a Beowolf in half with a great sword that wasn’t a Croceo Mors. As the last Grimm evaporates, he let his eyes roamed a bit to search for any Grimm left in the area.

Jaune: Okay, that should be the last one of them. Now, I just need to back to the village to report the situation and grab my payment.

He sheathed his sword into the scabbard on his waist.

Jaune: I should wait for her to call me before I leave, today is Friday so it will be any second now.

Right on cue, his scroll began to rings, causing him to smiled brightly as he pick it up to reveal smiling Neo on the screen.

Jaune: Hello Neo!

Neo: *Waving*

Jaune: So, where are you now?

Neo: Atlas

She speaks thanks to the device on her neck that try to predict what she want to say into text-to-speak. It’s not perfect but it’s still good enough to communicate without hand gestured or typing on a scroll.

Jaune: Cool, no pun intended, any luck on stealing from the criminals and finding the information for other artifact?

Neo: Couple stupid idiots, one even use just one password and one pin for all of his money and secret document. As for the latter, none. You?

Jaune: Same, just a couple of Grimm and protecting Villages, haven’t see much from Salem’s cult as well. Seems like they went into hiding after I destroyed a lot of their camp.

Neo: And you aren’t being too hard on yourself, right?

Jaune: They weren’t much to exert me that far. I don’t even have to rely on Lyssa to fight them.

Lyssa: *Speak in Jaune’s mind* Damn right you are, these weakling are even worthy for master’s skills, let alone to withstand against my power! And worry not Neo, I ensure you that I will keep tabs on master’s health and force him to get enough sleep and nutrients!

Jaune let out a deep chuckle as he pat the sword on his back, which was wrapped in a bandage.

Jaune: And Lyssa told me she’s going to protect me and make sure I don’t slip back into my old habits. So, really, you don’t have to worry about me anymore.

Neo: That’s good to know, because I promised if I ever saw or know that you are awake late in night, swinging your sword like a madman, I WILL go to your current location and suffocate you in my thighs or tits, pick your funeral.

Jaune: *Chuckle nervously* You make it sound like it was a threat.

Neo: Because it is.

Jaune: I will keep that in mind.

Neo: … I know this isn’t something for me to say nor that I really care, but shouldn’t you visit your friends by now? It’s been 6 months since you last saw them in the hospital.

Jaune: Believe me, I have been dying to do so. But you know, somehow, all of the mission I saw and get was in Vacuo or a remote area, and once every a blue moon that I have a mission in Atlas or Vale or Menagerie, my friends weren’t there. Just my rotten luck. Besides, they need rest after the war and I don’t think my absent will affect them that badly.

———

Yang: *Red Eyes and blazing hair* If I finally captured that bastard, I will make him have second thought about abandoning all of us ever again! Stupid Vomit boy, making all of us, including my sweet little sister, cry our eyes out!

Blake: I know I don’t have any right to judge him but I will help you on that, I will bring the handcuff and leash so we could tied him with us forever so he won’t be able to run away.

———

Jaune: Heck, I am sure they are really busy with their new life to even think about me. With Dust in the world become even more rarer after the final fight, Weiss is trying to find another source of resource to replace Dust while fix her family legacy. You even say that Ruby is helping out Weiss while keeping Atlas save. And that is a lot of work!

———

Ruby: I miss my Best friend, Weiss, I miss him so much. *munching on a cookies while snuggling with Weiss*

Weiss: I also miss him… *Whisper* Where are you my Knight… your princess is waiting for you to come back… *eating blueberry frozen yogurt*

———

Jaune: And I heard Kuroyuri are being rebuild! I am so proud of Ren and Nora, they could finally settled down and have a family. I do pray for Ren’s pelvis, I remember that Nora wanting to beat my family scored of 8 children.

———

Both Nora and Ren could be seen in Mistral, handing out papers with smiling Jaune when he still has the banana hair and written missing under it.

Nora: Have you seen our golden retriever son? I miss him so much! *Large tears running down her face*

Ren: Our boy have run away from us, we aren’t ready to let him go just yet. Is it because I yelled at him when we try to get Oscar back? I am sorry my boy for being too hard at you. *Lamented with black cloud over his head*

———

Jaune: *Shrugged* I am sure they are doing just fine

Neo: *rolled her eyes* And when are you gonna tell them about our relationship?

Jaune: When my jobs are near them. I just wish our scroll were destroyed in the last fight, I don’t even have their number to call them anymore.

Neo: Well, I just hope they would accept us being a thing, not that I care about their opinion on us.

Jaune: *Chuckled* I am sure they are already warm up to you, including you to them.

Neo flip the bird which cause him to laugh even harder.

Jaune: Anyway, I should get going now. I don’t want to worried the villagers with me being gone for a while now. Nice meeting with you, I will call you next week again, Neo.

Neo: *Looked down in sadness* I really miss you… I wish we could have gone together…

Jaune: …Me too… I also wish you could be my side… so I could talk together everyday and hug you all I want… and kiss you all day… but you already know why we separate for now, we have role to fulfill.

Neo: I know… it just suck that you aren’t there when I woke up in the cold, lonely bed, greeting me with that dopey, kind smile of yours to warm my day up.

Jaune: Well… maybe we can arrange something so we could spent a week together in the future

Neo: *Look up with a logging in her eyes and smiled* I would love that.

Suddenly, he can hear an alarm flared up on the other side of the call.

Neo: Well, it seems like they finally noticed their money is missing. They really should use it to upgrade their brain, I am surprised they managed to go this far with it.

Jaune: Neo, what did I say about calling me in the middle of a heist?

Neo: Please, as if you have the right to say that, ‘Mister-who-call-me-even-in-the-middle-of-hoard-of-Grimm’.

Jaune: *Sigh* Fine, just be careful.

Neo: Who do you think I am? *Smirking smugly*

Jaune: Well, that’s it for this week. Don’t forget, it will be your turn next.

Neo: *Rolled eyes* I know, just make sure you remember this number.

Jaune: I won’t, love you dear.

Neo: Love you too. Also, Lyssa, take care of our reckless partner and don’t let him jump into danger.

The sword of destruction began to shine as a small girl appeared on its place and grab hold on Jaune like a Koala, head peaking out so Neo could see her.

Lyssa: Don’t worry, this foolish master of my will not endanger his life as long as I am still by his side.

Neo: That’s good to know… see ya next week.

With the call ended, he gripped his scroll until it shattered under his hand.

Jaune: Well, are you ready for our next mission, Partner?

Lyssa: I want to sweet chocolate cake first! It has been a week since I had one and I believe I deserve one.

Jaune: *Chuckled* Okay, lets ask the chief if the place had any bakery or a cafe.

With that, the wandering knight set forth on his journey even after the war ended 6 months ago, leaving (Not Really) his friends behind as every single one of them have something in mind which they are gonna do to the knight if they find him, if, since it seem like Fate or Gods itself have another thing in mind for him and have taken a liking at his funny story unfolding. But we will see what the future’s hold for them.

[superiorsturgeon]

Ogre!Nora: *watching Arkos and Renora babies play together* Awww…! 🥰

Dragon!Pyrrha: Look! They’ve made friends! 😃

Dragonborn!Jamie: (Arkos baby) *burps a little spurt of flames while sitting on the floor* 🔥

Half-Ogre!Magna: (Renora baby) *determinedly chewing on tough baby scales of Jamie’s tail with tiny ogre tusks* 👹

Samurai!Ren: *covered in small bite marks and bandages* …yes…very adorable… 🤕

Knight!Jaune: *slightly singed and covered in burn marks* …our little angels… 🥵

[kanroji-san]

Ror&Kny Actors! AU

Buddha: WHO THE FUCK ATE MY DONUTS?! I’M GOING TO FUCKING KI-

Obanai!Y/n: I did….

Buddha: ...

Obanai!Y/n: Sorry, i was hungry.

Buddha: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating enough lately Gummy bear. *walks away*

Obanai!Y/n: ...

Obanai!Y/n: He's gone, Loki you can come out now.

Loki: *climbing out of one of the kitchen cabinets with the donut stuffed in his mouth* Twankh uh! (Thank you!)

[juanarc-thethird]

My tits are down here

Can we get this with Nora? Jaune has been trying to avoid staring at her chest, in respect for Ren and the team. However they aren't going out like everyone expects, and Nora wants her fearless leader to desire her.

Nora: *Wearing a very revealing bikini* What do you think Jaune, do I look hot?

Jaune: *With his eyes glued to her face, and nothing else* It looks very good on you.

Nora: Really?

Jaune: *Always looking from Nora's neck and up*

Nora: Ok then, what color is my swimsuit?

Jaune: Pink

Her swimsuit is orange like her hair.

Nora: *Ahem* Jaune, can I ask you a question?

Jaune: *Smiling* Of course.

Nora: *Angry* Are you a fucking coward?!

Jaune: *Confuse* I'm sorry?!

Nora: You should! Do you think I dressed like that in front of you, on the day that Pyrrha and Ren won't be around all day, so that you don't see these massive tits and huge ass?!

Jaune: But Nora, you're my teammate! It's not appropriate for me to look at you that way! Besides, you and Ren are….

Nora: NOT together together.

Jaune: Huh?! Are you sure?

Nora: Jaune, I think I would know if I'm in a relationship with someone. Besides, Ren and I are like family. You wouldn't go out with your sister, would you?

Jaune: Uh no, gross.

Nora: Exactly. Now... *Removes her top* ..GET OVER HERE!!

Jaune: *Closing his eyes while blushing and moving his hands around in a panic* Hey, you can't do that!

Nora: Lust for me, you coward!! *She pounces on him*

Jaune: *Being smothered with her tits* HMMH!!!

[rwac96]

When Pyrrha runs into her cousin Rang, she introduces her to her teammates. Let us see her opinion on JNPR.

Pyrrha: "Rang! It's nice to see you!"

Rang: "Same here, cuz. It's been a while."

Nora: *amazement* "Whoah! She looks like Yang!" *cups her own bust* "Even the bouncing melons!"

Ren: "Nora!"

Rang: *glares* "I beg your pardon?!"

Pyrrha: *sheepish* "Um, Rang, this is my team, Team JNPR."

Nora: "I'm Nora Valkyrie, that's my name an' don't wear it out."

Rang: *annoyed* "Noted."

Ren: *exhales in exasperation* "Lie Ren, nice to meet you."

Rang: *calms down a bit* "Nice to meet you, too, Ren. Approachable and polite, unlike the maniac next to you."

Jaune: *clears his throat* "Hi, I'm Jaune Arc, leader of Team JNPR and your cousin's partner."

Rang: *blinks* "Ah." *she eyes him from head to toe* "So, you're the guy who's gotten Cuz outta that shell."

Jaune: *blinks in confusion* "Huh?"

Pyrrha: *blushes, gulps* "R-Rang--."

Rang: "I mean, yeah, we're training to fight monsters and criminals, but ever since Pyr got notoriety as a tournament fighter and that cereal deal, everyone wanted a piece of her. From reporters, paparazzi, fans, stalkers, and don't get me started on those creepy old guys. But when we spoke after her first week at Beacon, seems like she's the ol' Pyr before she gained the 'Invincible Girl' title."

Jaune: *blinks* "Oh, that's pretty deep, Rang--."

Rang: "Yeah, because my first impression of ya was that of an ill-informed dumb ass who somehow got into a prestigious academy and doesn't even know about the basics of Aura & Semblances."

Jaune: *grimaces* "Oh..."

Rang: "But, Pyr told me about your good heart, even if you are dense." *turns to her cousin* "Seriously, Cuz, lock this one down."

Pyrrha: *covers her face with both hands, flustered* "RAAAANG!!!"

[rubyfunkey]

team rwby is winning in the mental soundness department. but not by much

[ahn1zos]

more of the party!

[arc-misadventures]

Advice For The Heartbroken

: Oh? Hello, Jaune.

Jaune: Hello, Mrs... Miss Schnee. I'd offer my condolences, but I don't think you'd truly care for that.

Willow: No, not at all.

Jaune: I will say you are looking better; you, and this house seems more lively. Like a new wave of fresh air has blown in.

Willow: Yes, the oppressive aura that, Jacques carried about him has been lifted, bringing new life to my family, and house. Speaking of looking better; I must say I like your new outfit; Is that a, Specialist uniform?

Jaune: Ahh... yes... Yes it is. I recently became a member of the, Specialist as of, Winter's recommendations.

Willow: Oh congratulations, Jaune! That uniform suit you perfectly.

Jaune: Thank you, Miss Schnee.

Willow: Please, Jaune I already told you, you can call me, Willow. No more of this, Miss Schnee business.

Jaune: Alright then... Willow...

Willow: See, that wasn't too hard. Now then, please take a seat, I assume you're here not because of your new position. Perhaps about the odd circumstances around, Jacques's suspicious death?

Jaune: Thank you... and, uhhh no. I'm not aware of anything in regards to, Jacques's death, and the investigation. I'm a, Huntsman, not a detective.

Willow: Thought I should ask; Winter is unable to tell me anything. Something about the: 'Confidentiality pertaining to the ongoing investigation pertaining to the suspicious death of, Jacques Schnee.'

Jaune: In essence: No.

Willow: Precisely~!

Willow: Now then, since you are not here to talk about, Jacques death, what can I help you with, Jaune?

Jaune: Well... Since you mentioned, Winter... I need some help with her...

Willow: Oh, what is wrong? Did my daughter do something to you?

Jaune: Uhhh... kinda...?

Willow: Kinda... what?

Jaune: Winter likes me...

Willow: So? You are a well mannered, polite, respectable young man. There is very little to hate about you, Jaune. So of course she likes you.

Jaune: Uhhh... no, not that... Winter likes me... As in, like-likes me...

Willow: ...

Willow: S-Seriously...?

Jaune: She's blushed in front of me. She's laughed with me, not at me. She's smiled at me. She gave me this sash on my waist. And, I swear on my mother's life; she winked, and said 'tee-hee' at me!

Willow: Holy shit... Winter does like-like you... I can't believe this...

Jaune: Neither can I.

Willow: I picked a wrong time to stop drinking...

Willow: Okay... you have my permission.

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Wha...?

Willow: You have permission to date my daughter.

Jaune: Oh... thank you... B-But, that isn't why I'm here... kinda...?

Willow: Oh? Then what is it, Jaune?

Jaune: I have... absolutely no experience when it comes to romance. If you ask, Weiss about my attempts to, 'whoo' her, you'd whinge in shame at my antics...

Willow: Yes, I do believe I remember hearing, Weiss complaining about that.

Jaune: ...

Jaune: I... I like, Winter... I'm not entirely sure how much I care for her, but I know I do care for, Winter... If there is a possibility of us having a relationship, I want to try... I don't want to miss this chance... not again... So, I came to you to... ask for advice.

Willow: Advice? Why me, couldn't you ask one of your friends for advice?

Jaune: Ha! Ruby has no experience when it comes to love. Weiss, has poor taste in men, and we have that whole history together, not to mention it's about her sister! I can't possibly talk about this with her.

Willow: That would be an ill-advised endeavor to take.

Jaune: Nora, and Ren are out of the question. Nora is pinning for, Ren so hard she might as well become a pine tree. And, people call me dense?! They should take a look at, Ren! A woman is literally fawning over him, and he doesn't see a damn thing!

Willow: Oh, she liked him, I never notice...

Jaune: Don't even get me started on, Blake, and Yang's thing.

Willow: Oh please do, I do love gossip~!

Jaune: Oh, that's right, woman love to gossip; My mother, and sisters love to gossip too.

Jaune: Okay... Blake, and Yang are stuck in this will they won't they situation upon which I don't think they should, because dating, Blake would end up being a part of a very toxic relationship. I mean... Blake is a coward, she has a habit of running away from her problems, and dumping them on others, and refusing to take the blame. Not to mention her past dating experience is horrible! Her first lover was Adam Taurus! A psychotic race supremist terrorist! And, a fanatical lesbian who like, Adam, tried to kill her! Twice!

Willow: Oh~? Now isn't this juicy~!

Jaune: Yang has abandonment issues! Her mother abandoned her when she was a child! It would destroy her if, Blake ran away, again! My sister is a lesbian who is married. and in a loving relationship. I told them about, Blake, and Yang, and they looked horrified at the thought of the two of them dating. Not, because its a human, and faunas relationship, because they know how toxic it could be!

Willow: Oh my~! Even the lesbians are looking down on them~! Now things are getting interesting~!

Jaune: Since I don't get involved in their conversations, I just observe. And, I don't like what I'm seeing... Is there a chance they get together, yes. Is there a chance it will be a healthy relationship, maybe... But, I wouldn't bet money on it.

Willow: Ohh~! It's so much fun hearing all the juicy gossip! I feel like I'm a teenager again~!

Jaune: So... I said, I have no experience with dating, so I've come to you for advice. I know you had a toxic relationship with your ex-husband...

Willow: That's an understatement...

Jaune: But, even before that there must have been moments that were happy? Or, the very least you can tell me the does, and don'ts of a relationship. Mostly the don'ts all thing considered...

Willow: ...

Jaune: I know you didn't have a good relationship... But, of everyone I know... You're the only one I can ask.

Willow: Couldn't you ask your sister? She's married after all.

Jaune: Yeah, I could ask my sister how she got together with her wife, but...

Willow: She has no idea how it happened?

Jaune: No clue whatsoever.

Willow: So you came to me for advice.

Jaune: Yeah, I did.

Willow: Listen, Jaune... I do not understand my daughter well enough to give you advice when it comes to having a relationship with her. I estranged myself from my children when I escaped, Jacque's abuse to the bottle. I am in the middle of trying to rebuild our relationship. I'm learning who my children are, and plan to become. So, I can't tell you what you could do to enter a relationship with her... But, if what you said is true, that if you're making my daughter laugh, and smile. Then you should be together, or at the very least, give it a chance. And, don't regret not taking the chance.

Jaune: ...

Jaune: I don't want to lose that chance again...

Willow: Again?

Jaune: Okay... for now I'll just play it by ear, and see where it will take me... hopefully somewhere nice... Thank you, Willow.

Willow: My pleasure, Jaune. I hope the best for you two. I wouldn't mind you becoming my son in law.

Jaune: O-Oh... Thank you... Now, I best get going there is work to be done.

Willow: Do, Say hello to, Whitely before you leave. He's been wanting to talk to you again.

Jaune: Oh? I'll go do that. Goodbye, Willow.

Willow: Goodbye, Jaune.

Willow: ...

Willow: I wish you the best of luck, Jaune...

[howi99]

A Knight second chance 10

Jaune: *in a reclining chair* ...

Glynda: *patiently waiting for her student to open up* ...

Jaune: *Sigh* Professor Goodwitch, i honestly don't know what to talk about with you. You can ask my family about my past all you want. I think i'm fine.

Glynda: Someone who is "fine" doesn't almost destroy someone's mind with memories, Jaune.

Jaune: *rolling his eyes, while internally cringing to what he is about to say* She's a simple robot, Miss Goodwitch. I highly doubt she was made with the expectations of getting flooded with memories, feelings and sensation.

Glynda: Jaune, i can see your own disgust at what you just said. *Sigh* You don't see her as a machine. You stayed with her, awake, for two days straight so you could "fix" her. *Shaking her head* People don't act like that for a "simple robot".

Jaune: Tsk, fine. But still, my points stands: She never experienced human sensation, only an approximation. And she never experienced anything bad. The worst she lived through was boredom.

Glynda: *clearing her throat* You told Specialist Schnee that Penny lived through your biggest traumas. Something that shook her so much, she changed her demeanor completely. She lost most of her wanderlust and innocence, from what Specialist Schnee said.

Jaune: Well-

Glynda: *sigh* Jaune, i-

Jaune: *cutting her* Tell me, what is your favorite fairy tale?

Glynda: *surprised* What?

Jaune: *sigh* Mine was the girl who fell through the world. *Chuckle* I loved the characters, the settings, everything... *Looking at the shelves covered in books inside of Glynda's office* It was a nice story.

Glynda: *frown* Was?

Jaune: *scoff* Well, it doesn't tell the truth. *Shaking his head* There is no knight in rusted armor, saving the day on time, there is no cat giving you advice to go on in life and there is no tree that can help you become a better version of yourself.

Glynda: *sigh* Jaune, it's a children's book-

Jaune: ... *Mumbling* And yet, you believe those one...

Glynda: *frown* Excuse me?

Jaune: *sigh* Nothing.

_ Later _

Pyrrha: So, how was your session with professor Goodwitch?

Jaune: *sigh* As good as it will be for the foreseeable future... *Looking around* By the way, where is team RWBY?

Pyrrha: *shrug* Haven't seen them since yesterday-

Team RWBY, entering the cafeteria with nice silk scarf and a confused look upon their face

Nora: *waved at them* Hey, where were you all?

Weiss: *sigh* Blake heard there was a White Fang rally near the industrial district. She thought it was suspicious but... *Look at Blake*

Blake: *Blushing* How was i supposed to know!?

Russel: *from another table* Hey, those are the scarves my girlfriends make!

Ruby: *waving at him* She was super nice too! She said she would come visit you with a new shirt design!

Russel: Thanks for the heads up!

Yang: So anyway, turns out it was a charity event made by EX members of the White Fang, those who were part of it before they turned into a terrorist organization.

Nora: Oh~

Ruby: *giving them scarves* Weiss bought enough for our class... Twice.

Weiss: They are of the highest quality and the price they asked for was ridiculously small!

[razorblade180]

Streamer AU 6

Number 5 <-

Weiss:*rolls into view*….I’ve returned.

Yang:The bitch is back.

Weiss:Wow! Okay, rude. It’s not like I really left. I was in your streams all the time. I just don’t feel like doing my own after missions.

Yang:And yet somehow you still have more subscribers than me.

Photo Bunny gifted 30 subs

Weiss:Oh my gods! Velvet, thank you so much!

Yang:And the rich get richer!!!

Weiss:She says, knowing I’m not rich anymore.

Yang:And yet the money still pours in. Chat, make her play a horror game for being gone for so long.

“Yes!”

“PLEASE!”

“Alien Isolation.”

Weiss:Absolutely not. We have plans already. I’m just waiting for my co-host.

Yang:What am I then?

Weiss:A person who saw me hit the “live” button and immediately hopped into call to call me a bitch.

Yang:It’s in all in good love.

The Reaper: “Ayo! Look who’s back!”

Yang:Ruby, call Weiss a bitch.

Weiss:I’ll un-mod you. I’ve learned to do that recently.

Ruby: *enters call* Oh gods, chat, she’s learning computers. Tech savvy Weiss is dangerous. Who taught her such power?

Weiss:Your girlfriend.

Ruby:Oh, sorry chat. My girl can do no wrong.

Protector of Friendship: “💚”

Ruby:What’s the gameplan today? “Just chatting?” We can play Uno again.

Weiss:You hate teamwork. I swear you do.

Yang:Sends us on a life threatening mission where trust is needed, just to ruin it a day later.

Thunder Thighs: “How was mission? Everyone okay?”

Weiss:It was just bandits. Lots and lots of them. Unfortunately they ruined a village so most of the expenses went to rebuilding the town.

Yang:Chat, this woman is only on camera right now because her power bill is scaring her. This cute face has a price tag.

Weiss:Hey! I actually missed gaming. It’s oddly relaxing when I don’t listen to Ruby’s suggestions. Or Blake’s.

Ninja of Love: “League actually isn’t that bad.”

Ruby:That’s what I’m saaaaaying!

Yang:Don’t listen to them. They’re ill and can’t be cured.

Weiss:*looks at scroll*…Oh, I’ll be right back. Yang, you’re in charge. *gets up*

Ruby:Why not me?

Weiss:Because Yang doesn’t play League!

Ruby:You two lack vision. The four of us could be our own team! We could grab a few more friends and train for tournaments.

Ren: *enters call* Ruby, you are way too toxic for that. *leaves call*

Yang:Hahahahaha!

Ruby:You can’t just show up to say that!?

Weiss walks back into view rolling a second chair next to her. She’s then handed a coffee cup she gladly sips as she sits back down, all nice and cozy. Sitting next to her is Jaune, chilling in her merch hoodie as he waves.

Jaune:Hello…

“Whaaaat?”

“Oh it’s the guy.”

“Hi Jaaaaaaune!”

“Nerd alert”

“Co-host?”

Yang:I can’t believe you chose the other blonde over me. How cruel. What does he have I don’t?

Jaune:*holds up Kingdom Hearts*

Ninjas of Love: “FINALLY!”

Yang:..I would’ve bought it.

Ruby:Alright, maybe you chose better than Uno.

Weiss:Okay everyone, you can guess tonight’s game. It’s not like it hasn’t won several polls.

Ruby:Oh! Oh! Weiss, sub goal idea! 80 subs and you have to do a cover of the opening!

Weiss:I haven’t even heard it yet!

Jaune:You might like it more than the song from FFX.

Weiss:….

Yang:She’s setting you up for success.

Weiss:…We will circle back to that. Speaking of FFX, same rules apply. I don’t need back-seating from chat. My wonderful co-host here will help manage the stream and aid me with anything I ask.

Blake: *enters call* Jaune, what version is that?

Jaune:It’s from the 1.5 collection, so final mix. Post the patch.

Blake:You’re a good man.

Weiss:Do you want the camera on you or is that uncomfortable?

Jaune:I’m okay. This setup is nice.

Ruby:Questions like these wouldn’t be an issue if you got a VTube model. Penny could hook you up.

Weiss:I only recently learned how to fix normal PC problems. Don’t put that burden on me.

Yang:What does OBS stand for?

Weiss:I saved your life yesterday. What’s your damage with me?

Big Bags & Miniguns: “Is this the mystery boyfriend we’ve been searching for?”

Weiss:Cocoa, you’ve known Jaune forever. He’s always been around as a mod.

Thunder Thighs: “That wasn’t a no.”

Jaune:I literally showed my copy of the game. You all know why I’m here.

Cardinal Pride: “As if she’d date someone as lame as-

Message Deleted

Photo Bunny: “Please remember the chat guidelines before typing”

Ruby:I would’ve blocked him.

Weiss:He gets one more chance. I’m in a good mood.

Jaune:That’s the Kingdom Hearts spirit. *puts disc in*

Weiss:This won’t make me cry like Final Fantasy did, will it?

Blake:Oh….sweetie….

Weiss:*inhales* Great.

Yang:I already made a crude layout for the singing goal. I swear graphic designers should be thankful I like cars and fighting Grimm more.

Jaune:Don’t have any lower goals?

Weiss:I’m 20 away from having to cosplay a character from a game I’ve played. They also get to vote on an emote.

BB&MG: “How many subs for a boyfriend reveal?”

Weiss:…*rubs chin*

Ruby:You’re thinking about it!?

Weiss:I mean I’d have to talk it over with him to see if he’s comfortable with others knowing, but also that goal has to be high enough for Cocoa to be scared.

Jaune:….This game isn’t terribly long, and you have new followers. Personally I’d shoot for no less than 300.

The Monkey King: “Bleed her dry. 350”

BB&MG: “I thought we were friends Sun?”

Weiss:350 it is! After I discuss it of course.

“You’re on!”

“You underestimate our power!”

“I swear if it’s Neptune.”

“Just wait until payday!”

Yang:Like I said, the rich get richer.