#atsushi is my son

[ssaraexposs]

And of course, Atsushi hallucinates about Akutagawa

[lotus-pear]

SIGHHHH BSD REREAD…................I MISS THEM SO MUCH :(((

[mishiami]

7th march 2024

26th january 2023

[sh1nsoukoku]

thanks fyodor for re-traumatizing atsushi in the exact way that would hurt him the most due to his deep seated insecurities.. that’s great, wonderful even…

[anxious-lavender]

Seeing how Atsushi is willing to do ANYTHING for the sake of his family, how desperate he is to the point of straight-up begging Fyodor to bring them back just breaks my heart...he didn't even hesitate...

[blobwithapencil]

Late April Fools' comic of the ADA's celebrations!

Yeah Dazai got his ass beat after this lmao

[uzi-x33]

I don’t romantically ship kunizai (me and my bsf r just like dazai and kuni fr, and also idk, I Js don’t ship it romantically🤷🏼‍♀️) but with the new chapter BROOO THE ANGST OPPORTUNITIESSSS, NOT JUST FOR DAZAI BUT FOR THE WHOLE AGENCYYY AGGHHH😭😭😭😭 I wanna draw their reactions to his death now (that’s probably not gonna happen🤑)

dazai: “HES WHAT?! NO ATSUSHI YOUR JOKING! you’re joking.. right?”

GRRRRR THE ANGST AHHHHH IM SO SADD BROO, IM NOT EVEN CAUGHT UP TO THE MANGA AT ALL💀

LIKE IMAGINE AKU HUGGING A SOBBING ATSUSHI AND AYA AS HE COMFORTS BOTH OF THEMMM AHHHH😭

bro give aya a freaking break, give all of them a freaking break🙁

ASAGIRI WHEN I CATCH YOU ASAGIRI‼️‼️‼️‼️

KUNIKIDA IS ALIVE KUNIKIDA IS ALIVE KUNIKIDA IS ALIVEEEEE

I can’t chat😭😭😭✋✋

also Chuuya comforting dazai over it AHHHH!!!!!! Cus I do think dazai cared abt him so so much :(😭😭

[aquamarena-skies]

I'm rewatching the BSD anime again and just hit around episodes 9-10 ish and I've had a thought.

The fact the agency were even contemplating not helping Atsushi when he got kidnapped is already pretty awful, but if they actually didn't help him, what the hell would they have said to Dazai when he got back?? "Oh the orphan you befriended and just risked your life for? Yeah we didn't care enough to go get him, hes probably in another country now. Sorry lol"

Like, despite his reputation for being cold, I find it hard to believe Dazai would just be all "damn, oh well" after being informed that the organization he joined *specifically* to save people (at Oda's request mind you) just up and abandoned the kid he just took in. Like. Sure, he's not some moral pillar, far from it, but he clearly genuinely does care about Atsushi. He just risked a lot to get into the mafia HQ and find out who placed that bounty. and then everyone else in the organization whose supposed to be so moral and good leaves him to rot ? I do not think he would be pleased.

[fyodorsushankaaa]

im defending atsushi with my whole heart against to my friends (?) who say atsushi is a dumbass

[kaeroses]

Got bored and doddled ‘Sushi..

I’m dubbing Atsuhsi’s nickname as Sushi, I love him sm it makes me sad :(

[moraymiso]

what bsd moment made you cry/impacted your emotions the most?

oda’s death. period. nothing even remotely compares. i cry every single time i watch that damned scene after finishing the series and seeing what oda’s death did to alter dazai’s life. this guy with zero regard for morals who saw zero value in human life took a total 180 from his established authority in the mafia JUST because oda told him to. because that was oda’s last word of advice. if anyone DOESN’T answer this i don’t trust them /j

but uhhh i will also add a close second, seeing how horribly fucked up atsushi became in BEAST after the headmaster died was chilling to the bone

[ssaraexposs]

BEAUTIFUL

BEAUTIFUL

BEAUTIFUL

BEAUTIFUL BOY

[lotus-pear]

bsd rewatch w my friend means obligatory art of my fav found family ever

[clownblogz]

[thatone-23]

what do you think it would look like if we mixed among us and naroo toe? i think it would look bangin!

[amy-maguire]

As the New Year Starts Do not Abandon Me, Father.

Late New Years writing piece about my favorite little guys Osamu Dazai and ATSUSHI!

References to the WAN episode where they go to see the fireworks and to season 4 and 5. CW: Talk of su1c1de, dad Dazai and son Atsushi headcanon, some projection, possible bad characterization DUE to the projection as well as me writing this in multiple times instead of directly in one sitting.

Word Count: 1396

Type: Technically a one shot since it isn't related to anything else. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dazai closed his eyes, the loud banging of the fireworks continuing to sound in his ears. He knew there was a high likelihood that his hearing would be damaged, but he was never really the type of person to care about those sorts of things.

He leaned forward, his arms dangling haphazardly over the railing as he finally reopened his eyes and stared up at the twinkling fireworks that cracked and then fell down to earth.

"When I go, I hope I'll go out just as beautifully." He commented, not really saying so in hopes of comments from the others, but more so for himself. He knew however, that someone was likely to comment on his actions, and that person just so happened to be Atsushi.

"I'd really prefer if you didn't go at all.." Atsushi mumbled, his voice filled with more concern than Dazai was used to. He found it sweet actually, that someone cared about him, and yet it didn't seem to phase him too much. He shouldn't get attached to people that he might- no would most definitely, lose. Best not to dwell on those things. "Please don't say things like that, even as a joke." Atsushi added, more worry and even frustration in his tone. It was concerning to him that Dazai could mention such things so casually. While Dazai had assumed people he cared about would eventually run out of his life in twisting flames, Atsushi couldn't even think leaving. In fact it made him scared to think of such loneliness.

"Try not to worry too much Atsushi," Dazai said calmly, his voice happy and light, "I'm merely making a sweet comparison."

"Not when it's about death!" Atsushi argued. "This kind of thing is serious- you can't just call it sweet because you talk about it so often!" Dazai chuckled, another firework blowing up loudly in the distance. It reminded him of gunfire, and even though it made him slightly nauseous he enjoyed it. "I'll be okay, really," he consoled, although with a sort of languid sweetness, "There are many more important things you should focus on Atsushi, like the fireworks show in front of us!"

"But you're important to me, Dazai." Atsushi repeated, "Fireworks will blow up over and over again but you-" Dazai held up his hand to stop Atsushi's speech. This conversation was gaining a bit more attention from the others than he wanted it. "Let's go discuss this somewhere else, okay?" he said, a serious tone coming up through his smile that let Atsushi know he wasn't joking around. "If this really is that important to you, then we can talk about it. Just.." he sighed, almost like he was annoyed, "Not in front of a geezer like Kunikida." Ah, well maybe he wasn't being serious after all. "I heard that you know! If you two have something important to talk about, then do so without bothering the rest of us." Kunikida scowled, but underneath he too was a bit worried. He'd have to have a follow up conversation with Dazai as well.

"Sorry," Atsushi bowed his head, grabbing Dazai by the wrist and starting to drag him off before there could be anymore banter. He knew it more than he knew the beating of his own heart, more than the tiger he'd grown to master, more than his own soul, that he needed to have this conversation.

This man who had become an anchor for him, a father in the wake of the headmaster, the smartest man he knew- was more than just a person. The jokes scared him, hell they scared him about as much as they annoyed him. To make a comment like that meant something, it had to.

Once they got far enough away from the others, Atsushi let go of Dazai's wrist, moving backwards and crossing his arms. "Why do you say things like that?" he asked, more weight behind his sentences than he had first anticipated. "You do know those kind of things aren't funny, right? Like- it's hurtful to other people?"

Dazai didn't hesitate, merely nodding to Atsushi. He knew those kind of things were hurtful, that's why he said them. It was best to keep people he was already going to lose at a distance, right?

Atsushi looked up at him, slightly baffled. "Are you trying to push us away?!" He exclaimed, a firework going off in the background and shaking the ground they stood on. "You know- even if you are you shouldn't be! That's.. that's really shitty of you!"

Dazai frowned, "I'm aware." He sighed, "I'm just your coworker. You don't need to worry about me, or care about me, or anything. I'm fine, Atsushi." Atsushi's eyes sharpened down into a glare, "You aren't just a coworker to me- you're.." he gasped, "You're my friend and- and like a.." his teeth grinded together, and he held the sleeves of his Yukata tightly in a nervous attempt to self-console, "a father or something."

Dazai's eyes widened suddenly. He was a smart individual, and he was able to predict most-anything, but he didn't expect Atsushi to actually.. well to 'put him in on a pedestal' in such a nice position.

Sure, he'd noticed the way Atsushi would cling to him during missions and look to him in times of trouble, but his view of himself was so damn low he never thought that it could mean more, and additionally even if he thought it possible he figured it would fizzle out eventually.

"At-"

"No!" He yelled, "You listen to me!" Atsushi released his Yukata, huffing out a large breath of air. "All I'm trying to say here is you're important to me, so it would be nice if you could try to be mindful of that, okay?"

Dazai didn't know what to say, stomach in a whirl as Atsushi stormed off before he could get a chance to finish. He hadn't seen Atsushi get angry often, and so he knew this was something serious for him. Maybe he should be mindful after all? Considering Atsushi's late headmaster it could be the least he could do, right?

Why did he even care?

That was the strangest part actually, the fact that he cared in the first place. If he thought all of them would leave it logically wouldn't matter what their thoughts were. It did though, and that was what confused him.

He didn't know how to chock this up to some psychological phenomenon he knew about, or how to rationalize what Atsushi had said. All he could do was realize that he meant it, and honestly he didn't know what to do since he did.

Did this information change what he should do as a person? Maybe be more courteous and such but.. if he was seen as a 'father' before should he not change what he was doing now?

What he didn't know was that regardless of what he was going to do Atsushi was going to wait.

Regardless of how Dazai changed or didn't change his habits, Atsushi was going to walk out to the river that night, and he was going to sit there. He was going to let his head bob down onto his knees because even though he was dead tired Dazai's life could be at stake.

Atsushi would sit there, staring down into the deep blue river next to the agency and watch as his heart jumped every time he saw something floating down the riverside. How he jumped in a few times because he swore he saw brown hair or a trench coat.

Dazai wouldn't know but Atsushi was gonna keep waiting, because no matter what Atsushi was to Dazai, Dazai was his dad to Atsushi.

Only after Dazai realized this would he stop making such crude jokes, because you wouldn't want to worry your son after all. Wouldn't you?

Sadly, it would take too long for Dazai to actually realize this. After he was stuck in Mersault prison wondering why he missed all of the agency members as much as he did. Wondering why although he believed Atsushi was strong enough to help save the Detective Agency, he had a second layer of concern. Eventually it would hit him, and as Fyodor stared at him through the void's they were trapped in he would mutter an almost inaudible, "Shit."

"Holy shit."