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dorkyfangirl24 · 1 month ago

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Sharing is Caring (And Caring leads to Healing) Ch 1

This is my first full fledged fic so please be kind. Also let me know if I should change anything. Now for the fic.

Sharing is Caring (And Caring leads to Healing) TW: Mentions of past rape, past suicidal thoughts/attempt, sexual harrasment, parental abuse, ect.

A few weeks have passed since Odysseus returned home. He was tired of laying in bed and thought a walk could help with his restlessness. Odysseus walked through the halls reverently touching the stones, a small smile on his face as memories came to mind. A child's laugh, feet hitting the ground, a bow stringing, a target hit, and a triumphant yell. Then more sinister memories came. Yells of men, clanging of swords, and arrow piercing flesh and screams of men being murdered. Odysseus’s smile fell from his face. A grimace appeared as more memories assaulted him. The metallic smell of blood, the sounds of more screams, and the cries of pain.

He stumbled. “Father? Are you alright?” Odysseus could barely hear his son’s soft voice down the hall. He stumbled again and caught himself against a column. “Father!” Again the faint sound of his son. Odysseus lifts his head and meets his son’s eyes. They were the same color as his own, he mused silently. As movement happened around him, muffled sounds and voices came and went, Odysseus slowly lowered himself to the ground, grasping his knees to his chest.

He started rocking back and forth, as memories continued their assault on his mind. Polites laughing, it cutting off as the sound of a club is heard. Eurylochus doubting him with the crew in the background, his mother softly saying “I will be waiting for you, my son,” Poseidon slaughtering his crew, Zeus asking him to choose, and finally the soft touch of…..her. A touch on his face, causes Odysseus to flinch violently and exclaim loudly “ Don’t touch me! Please! No more, I don’t want to! Please STOP!” The touch recedes and a muffled sound is heard.

Odysseus continues to rock back and forth muttering under breath. “Please, no, I said no. Stop. No more. I have a wife. Please.” The last please almost a whisper. Odysseus has his eyes shut harshly, not even realizing he is running his hands through his hair frantically, almost pulling some hair out in the process.

A presence comes near, and he whimpers. A voice whispers and he makes out a few words. “My love……ple.se…. com……..it’s me….” Odysseus whimpers as he whispers “please don’t. I can’t bear hearing it knowing it isn’t real. Please stop this torture.” A hand reaches out and gently cups his chin. He flinches but allows the touch, afraid of what she will do if he refuses. “My love, can you open your eyes for me?” Penelope’s melodic voice washes over him.

Odysseus shakes his head. “I can’t. If I do, I won't survive learning it’s another trick.” The hand grips his chin a little harder. As it does, it tilts his face up and he hears her voice once more. “Please trust me, my love. I am your loving wife, here with your son just asking to see your face once more.” Odysseus whimpers and trembles as he breathes out.

In his head, he hears “Open your eyes my warrior. You will see the truth and be at peace. This I promise you.”

A breath. Another one. Then Odysseus opens his eyes. Tears make his vision blurry but he can slowly make out the worried and concerned faces of his wife and son. Penelope breathes a sigh of relief as Telemachus gets closer to his father. “Father?” Telemachus whispers, almost afraid of upsetting his father again. Both Penelope and Telemachus sit next to Odysseus as he takes a big deep breath.

As he breathes out, he rests his head on Penelope’s shoulder and pulls Telemachus into his side. The little family rests there for a while, soaking in each other's presence. Odysseus could feel his heartbeat slow back to normal and the numbness slowly fades. As they sit there, Penelope and Telemachus trade a few glances trying to figure out how to deal with the situation. Odysseus takes a deep breath and says softly “Just ask what you want to ask.”

They share one more look before Penelope softly says “How about we go somewhere a little more comfortable and then we can talk.” Odysseus shakes his head exhaustedly knowing where his wife wanted to go and knowing it will only trigger more memories. A moment of silence. Then a sigh as Telemachus snuggles deeper into his father’s side.

“What did you mean by I don’t want to?”

Odysseus tenses and flinches slightly before he slumps. He takes a breath as he feels his hands start to shake. “When I was on my journey home, I arrived at an island after….” Odysseus trails off. Penelope fills in “after your crew was lost.” “I was unconscious and hurt. When I awoke, there was a hand on my face. Caressing and picking out small twigs caught in my hair. I sat up to see a woman who was the one to be taking care of me.” Penelope takes Odysseus’s hand and squeezes it. He takes another deep breath. “I had apparently been mumbling in my sleep,” “Yes, you’ve been known to do that,” Penelope teases.

A small chuckle comes from Odysseus. “Yes, well only for you, my love.” Penelope smiles at him as Telemachus cracks a small grin at his parents banter. Odysseus' smile fades as he continues. “Well, I had been mumbling about you, my love and she asked about you. I immediately told her you were my wife.” Odysseus' eyes go wide as his breathing picks up. He clutches both of Penelope’s hands before tensing. “I told her immediately that I was married. I didn’t want any confusion. I promise, Penelope. I would never betray you like that! Please believe me! I am so sorry! I would never hurt you! Please, my love!”

As he starts to plead and get more anxious, his hands start to shake violently as his eyes start welling up with tears. Penelope’s eyes go wide, and she immediately clutches his hands as she tries to calm him. “Odysseus, I know! I know you would never hurt me! You said you had a wife. I believe you! Now please, breathe, you're starting to worry me!” Odysseus’ tears still stream down his face but his breathing slowly starts to calm.

He buries his face in the crook of her neck. She feels him slightly shaking so she wraps her arms around him. She slowly starts to cradle her hand in his hair and even though he lightly flinches, she begins to run her fingers through his hair. After a few minutes, Odysseus lifts his head and takes a deep breath. “I don’t know why but this information didn’t faze her and she immediately dismissed what I had said in favor of showing me around the island. She was saying all sorts of things, like how the island had everything we could possibly need and how we would never want to leave.” Odysseus breathing hitches. “Then she told me that we would soon fall into bed and spend our time…..” Odysseus trails off. His eyes wide and unfocused. Penelope shares a worried look with Telemachus before squeezing Odysseus’ hand once more. “I then repeated the fact that I am married and that I wasn’t hers. I fully intended to fight her and even brought out my sword. She then fully introduced herself as Calypso, a goddess. Stating how no one could come or go and that with her spell no one even knew the island existed.” Penelope grabs Odysseus’ hang tighter as Telemachus gasps. Odysseus too far in his memories not noticing either of their reactions. “I then realized that I was trapped and that this has happened once again.” Penelope frowns. ‘What did he mean again?’ “I realized I couldn’t fight her and that I was truly stuck with no way out.” Silence filled the hallway.

Telemachus buries himself into his father’s chest before asking “How long were you there?” A long pause. Odysseus still wide eyed, staring blankly in front of him. As the silence grew, Telemachus almost asked again before a whisper cut through the silence. “7 years.” The silence was all consuming. All you could hear were the sharp, hoarse breaths echoing in the hall. “7 years?” Telemachus asked in horror. Odysseus continued to stare blankly ahead while his whole body shook violently. “My love?” Penelope softly says.

“Whatever happened I don’t blame you. I would never blame you for something out of your control. Whatever she did, whatever happened I will never blame you for.”

Odysseus lets out a shaky breath. “At first it seemed like she understood that I was still mourning. She let me wander and left me alone for the most part. After a while though, she started to be more…... .insistent I stay close to her.”

Odysseus continues having almost not heard Penelope.

The only indication was the squeeze he gave her hand as she had spoken. “As the days went by, she refused to let me go very far and she started to be more…flirtatious. I continued to push her away and repeat that I had a wife and son..”Odysseus broke off with a sob. “That I needed to get back to them. That they were waiting for me and that I needed to see them but she wouldn’t listen. If anything she would slowly get more angry and irritated the more I mentioned you.”

Odysseus flinched once more. It seemed that more memories assaulted his mind before continuing. “After a while, I realized it was better if I tried my best to not anger her and decided to just sit at the beach and watch the horizon. It was all I had to keep me going and even then it wasn’t always enough. I was always made to dine with her and afterwards she would lead me…..” Odysseus trails off, his breathing getting erratic.

His eyes widen even further as his breathing becomes faster. His whole body violently shaking, almost curling in on himself as if trying to disappear. All of a sudden a clock ticking is heard and the world around the family disappears.

They appear on a blue hourglass surrounded by stars and blue light glowing all around them. On the other side stands a woman wearing a war helmet, armor and wings spread across her back. They watch as she reaches up and removes her helmet, revealing Athena.

Penelope looks around confused and alarmed while Telemachus looks around in awe as she approaches. Penelope bows deeply. “My Lady, I am sorry but what is happening?” “Rise, Penelope. You need not bow here. I am here to help my warrior as I have sensed his distress.” Telemachus smiles and rushes to give the goddess a hug. She is taken aback before smiling softly and lightly patting him on the back. “Hello, my little wolf. How are you?” “Hi Athena! I can’t believe you're here! This is awesome! I never really got a chance to see this place before. Is this your power?”

“Yes, little one. This is Quick Thought. I have brought you all here as I figured this would grant you the most privacy and would ensure as little time as possible passes while having this talk.”

Penelope watches their interaction with a small smile before asking “Pardon me, my Lady but why did you not bring us in before? Not to sound ungrateful, but we have already been talking for a bit and yet only now you bring us here.” Athena looks at Penelope before looking towards Odysseus, who seems to have no awareness of the change in scenery. “To answer your question, I was a little caught up in seeing my brother and couldn’t make it out faster to help sooner. I had calmed Odysseus a bit in the beginning but was only briefly able to before getting pulled back by Apollo. I could still hear you, but could not seem to escape my brother until now.” Penelope nods and gives a grateful look to Athena. “Thank you for helping and for doing this now.” Athena nods and moves towards Odysseus. She realizes he is in the middle of a flashback.

She makes her movements slow and cautious as if approaching a wild animal. Odysseus seems to be unaware of her presence, which is concerning in and of itself. Penelope walks past Athena and sits back down next to her husband. Telemachus follows and sits next to his father before motioning for Athena to follow.

Athena warily walks over giving Odysseus a once over before stiffly sitting on the floor in front of him. He is still staring blankly ahead and soft raspy breaths can be heard coming from him.

“Odysseus?” Athena softly says. Penelope takes one of his hands as she feels him shivering violently. Telemachus snuggles back into his father, who absentmindedly moves an arm around him as if to shield him from any dangers. Athena tries again. “Odysseus? Are you there, my friend? Can you hear me?” Odysseus blinks and the glaze in his eyes recedes. He looks up and startles. “Athena?” he whispers. “What are you doing here? Why are we in Quick Thought?” Then he flushes a bright red and curls further into himself.

“I am here to support my friend. He is going through a tough time and I would like to be there for him. It would help me make up for lost time.”

Odysseus looks up to see a soft look on Athena’s face that is shaded with guilt. He looks deeply into her face as if searching for something. “You aren’t mad?” Athena looks down in shame. Odysseus sounded so young. It hurt Athena to hear him sound so young burdened with so much pain. Pain she could have helped him avoid if they both hadn’t been so stubborn.

“I would never be mad at you for struggling after everything you have been through. I wish I could say that I am surprised you had to ask but I know that before I might have reacted differently. I am sorry for the way I treated you before and I am striving to be different. Not just for you, but for your son. I hope you can forgive me and we can start anew. I know you said that you couldn’t be my warrior, but can we still be friends?”

Odysseus looks at his goddess. She won’t meet his eyes and is clearly feeling guilty about everything. She was clearly blaming herself for everything he went through. “My Lady, we both made mistakes and both should have used our heads instead of acting on emotion. I am sorry for my part in our falling out. I should have listened to you. I would love to start anew.” A small smile appears on his face. “Goddess and man, bestest of friends?” He holds up a hand.

Athena looks up shocked. She looks at his outstretched hand before a small smile creeps onto her face. She meets his hand in a soft high five. Penelope rests her head on Odysseus' shoulder, a smile on her face at seeing the two old friends reconnecting. Telemachus whips around turning to Athena. “Was my father the old friend that you a falling out with?!” Athena smiles wryly at him. “Yes, little wolf. Your father was my first Warrior of the Mind. You are now my second.”

“That is so cool!” Telemachus beams at her.

They turn back to Odysseus. The small content smile fades. He sighs deeply. When he looks back up, he looks as if he aged 10 years. “Are you sure you guys want to hear this? It’s not a pretty story.” As he looks around at his…yeah his family, he notices they are looking at him with concern. “Are you ok to tell us this, my love? I understand that it might be hard for us to hear but you’ll be the one reliving it.” Penelope looks worriedly at him. Odysseus stares at his wife lovingly.

“I think I need to say it. I think it’s the only way I’ll be able to move on.”

Athena looks at Odysseus and firmly says “Anything you say will not change my opinion. You are my Warrior and Champion and nothing will ever change that. Do you understand?” Odysseus ducks his head, avoiding her eyes. A hand softly lifts his chin. “Nothing will ever change that, my champion. I mean it.” Athena softly repeats. The soft look on her face almost breaks him, but he pulls himself togther. He looks at his wife and son and sees them both nodding. They both agree with what the goddess has said.

“Ok” he whispers.

He takes a deep breath before softly saying, “We would always dine together. Every meal we had to eat together. In the mornings, she would go off to her loom and weave while I would go back to the beach and sit, watching the horizon begging someone to come and take me away.”

A low growl was heard. Athena looked irritated at the fact that the goddess would weave. Odysseus sent her a weak smile. “Lunch was nothing special and afterwards we would go back to what we had been doing before. Sometimes, she would ask me to get things for food, or some more supplies for her weaving. I would also get wood to carve and I would carve out little things for Telemachus or you. She never really liked them and would always insist I carve something for her instead. She would sometimes accompany me on the errands. I was careful to not mention you or Ithaca after a few…incidents.” A small flinch was seen before Odysseus continued.

“What incidents?” Penelope asked in a low tone. Odysseus looked to his wife and saw her eyes narrowed and lips pinched which betrayed just how angry she truly was. “Just a couple shows of her powers, nothing too bad.” Odysseus said. His face and body language said otherwise. He had curled into himself again and was absentmindedly holding onto his side. Athena followed the movement and let out a small growl before motioning for him to continue.

Penelope let out a sigh before tightening her hold on her husband's hand and moving to curl around his arm. “Then it was time for dinner,” Odysseus took a deep breath and tensed. “She would always make it seem like some romantic thing, with flowers and candles. She would make full bouquets and then demand I give them to her as if I had got them for her in the first place. She would only have a few candles to make the room darker and more ‘intimate’ if you would.” Odysseus used quotation marks on the word intimate.

Penelope took a deep breath before looking over at her son. He had a worried expression but also almost a slight glaze over his eyes as if seeing his own memories. She would have to keep an eye on him as well.

Athena was looking at Odysseus and could see him slightly trembling. She hesitantly held out her hand and waited to see if he would take it. He looked at her slightly shocked before a small smile appeared. He took her hand with his free hand. Telemachus shifted so as to allow for his dad to hold Athena’s hand while still being able to be snuggled up to him.

“I went along after trying to fight it the first few times as it would only make things worse. After dinner though was the worst part. She would take my hand….and lead me to this cave…… where there was….a bed…..” he trailed off as his eyes glazed over, memories overtaking him once more. Penelope released his arm, as did Telemachus realizing that physical touch might be a bit too much right now.

Athena looked down right murderous at the implications Odysseus was making. Penelope looked horrified and Telemachus looked like he was gonna be sick.

“How DARE she even think of doing that!” Athena screeched. Her neck fluffing up, feathers appearing as it seemed she was having trouble maintaining her human form. Her fingernails growing into more talon-like nails and her eyes glowing blue. She shot up and started pacing. Odysseus too far gone into his memories to take much notice but Penelope and Telemachus sure did.

“My Lady, you have to calm down. I know you want to go and punish her but please for right now we need to be clear headed.”

Athena seemed not to have heard her. Ranting under her breath about all the horrible things she was gonna do to her when she got back. Pacing back and forth about how she would get Hermes involved because “He is never gonna let this stand against one of his own. How dare she! Oh when I get my hands on her, between me and Hermes I doubt there be anything left of her-”

“Athena!”

Athena whipped around to see Penelope with an angry look on her face. She had never been yelled at by a mortal and so she was shocked. “You can talk and plan on how to kill her later, but right now Odysseus needs you. So get your butt over here and help me comfort him.” Athena was flabbergasted that a mortal had actually had the audacity to talk to her like that, almost scolding her. Her respect for Penelope grew tenfold.

“I am sorry Penelope. You are right. I will reign in my temper. For now.” Then she smiled rather playfully. “Did you just tell me to ‘get my butt over here’?” Penelope flushed slightly before nodding. “Well you weren’t listening to me so I had to do something!” Athena chuckled. She walked back over to the little family before sitting back down.

Telemachus had been sitting watching the exchange with an amused smile before turning and leaning into Athena, whispering “You just got mom’d so hard.” Athena looked at Telemachus startled before turning to Penelope who was preoccupied in trying to comfort her husband. She was shocked by what Telemachus had said and didn’t want to even think of what that meant or why it made her heart skip a beat. ‘Surely these mortals wouldn’t consider her family, or anything close to it. She was just an old friend of Odysseus and Telemachus’ mentor. She was just the patron god of the family, nothing more, right?’ Athena thought.

Meanwhile, Penelope had managed to bring her husband out of his daze and was looking at him rather worriedly. “My love, are you sure you are ok to do this?” “Penelope, my darling, I understand that you're concerned and I appreciate it. More than you know. But I have to do this. I just need to get through this and I will feel better. I promise.” He grabs one of her hands and brings it to his lips. She flushes and he smirks, loving that he can still get a reaction from her after all this time.

“Are you ok, Father?” Telemachus asks. He had seen the interaction between his parents with a smile, but still wanting reassurance his dad was doing alright. Or at least as alright as he could be.

“Yes, my son. I am ok. I promise.”

Odysseus gave his son a warm smile and tugged him closer to him. “Are you alright my son? I know these are difficult things to hear and while I would prefer you not hear them, it is your choice as you are no longer a child.” “Yes, Father. I am alright. It is difficult to hear but I want to hear it. I want to know how I can help you and I think it’s only fair that I hear about your journey home. Besides it’s not like I had anything better to do.” he teases. Odysseus smiles at how kind and caring his son is. Penelope really did an amazing job with their child. Then the rest of what he said registered and he grabbed his son and rubbed his head, messing up his hair. “Oh really? What else could be so important?” Telemachus squealed and wiggled trying to escape his father’s hold. “Nothing, nothing! I promise!” Laughing, Odysseus releases him and smiles fondly at him. Telemachus just sticks his tongue out at him before smiling and drawing near again. Penelope watches fondly with a smile. She is so happy to see her two boys playing and getting along.

Athena shakes off her thoughts and watches the little family for a minute. She smiles before it fades as she thinks about what Odysseus might tell them. She had a feeling it was going to get worse and she wanted to get it over with quickly so as not to cause Odysseus any unnecessary pain. She hates that she is going to ruin the happy, smiling faces the family has right now but they need to continue if Odysseus is going to heal. She clears her throat, before shooting Odysseus a look. “Alright you two, don’t make me separate you.” She looks at Odysseus softly. “Shall we continue?” The smile fades on Odysseus’ face as Athena sits back down.

“Ok. I guess we can continue.” Odysseus takes a deep breath and pales. Penelope squeezes his hand as Telemachus puts an arm around his father’s arm. Athena has Odysseus’ other hand in hers. “She would lead me to the bed, and then she would make me…..do things…..for hours on end.” Odyssseus was trembling but he tried pushing through not having noticed how his son went rigid at the mention of what he had had to do. “How many times?” Odysseus looks up to see Athena look at him with concern. “Huh?” came his intelligent response. “How many times did she do this?” Athena repeats gently. Odysseus looks away, face red and breathing hard. “Every night.” he whispers after a beat of silence.

A whimper is heard and Odysseus whips around to the source. His son, his beautiful baby boy, is shaking violently as Odysseus realizes he is hyperventilating. He turns to his son and goes to reach for him when a voice stops him. “Don’t! Don’t touch him. Not right now.” Penelope looks at Odysseus briefly before slowly making her way towards Telemachus.

“Telemachus, my angel, he isn’t here. He can’t hurt you. He is gone. Your father made sure of that, ok? Please come back to me Tele, I’m right here. I’m ok and you’re ok. I promise that no one will ever hurt you again.”

Penelope pleads with her son, begging him to come back, for his memories to release him. Odysseus whips around to his son with wide eyes, begging anyone who will listen, to tell him that what he is thinking didn’t happen. Not to his precious baby boy.

He looks at Athena and sees her face as still as a statue. A deadly calm on her face as she realizes just what caused Telemachus to be thrown into a flashback. She growls out “I should have killed him right then and there! I knew something was off about the situation and yet I still encouraged him to fight. What is wrong with me? I should have just killed him right there. I am going to talk to Hades, I’ll make sure he ends up in Tartarus for what he has done!”

Odysseus says coldly “I’ll help.” As he turns back to his child everything Athena had said runs in his mind. He freezes before turning back to his goddess. “What do you mean you knew something was off and still encouraged him to fight?” Athena shakes out of her rant by the pure unbridled hate in Odysseus’ voice. She looks down, ashamed before telling him what she did. “I had no idea that he had done anything of the sort and if I had I would have killed him right there. I promise you Odysseus, I would never have let Telemachus fight him if I had an idea of what had happened. I’m so sorry! I was only trying to help him. He had asked for assistance in fighting him so I helped but I never realized the extent of what had happened while you were gone. I am so sorry, my friend.” Odysseus’ face has slowly gone from hate to sad understanding as Athena explained.

“I understand Athena. I know that if my son wanted to fight, he would have with or without you, so I’m glad he had you there to help.” Then he looks down in shame. “If only I had gotten here earlier, then none of this would have happened.” He clenches his fist so hard he draws blood.

Odysseus barely realizes until a hand reaches over and cups his own. He looks up to his son looking at him with concern. “Dad, I’m ok. Please believe me. He didn’t do exactly what you think. I promise. I’ll explain later. Can you open your hands for me please?”

Odysseus looks down at his hands before wincing. He opens his hands and there are small crescent marks with blood slowly streaming down his palm. Athena sighs and cups Odysseus’ hands in her own. They begin to glow a faint blue before she opens them. When she is done, Odysseus looks down at his hands to see them fully healed.

“Thank you, Athena.”

“Of course, Ody.”

He gasps. “You called me Ody!” Athena goes rigid. “ No I didn’t” “Yes you called me Ody. You really did!” Odysseus gets up and does a little jig. “You called me Ody! You called me Ody!” He chants. A fond smile appears on Athena’s face at the sight. She missed seeing him so carefree and almost child-like. It was nice to see.

“Are you alright, my little wolf?” Athena gently asks Telemachus. He sighs. “Yeah, I’m ok. It never got to the same point as my dad but it was getting there. They would harass me and assault me but not to that extent. At least not yet.” He gave a full body shiver. “After the fight, when you helped me, it got better. They pretty much left me alone, except for him. But even then he didn’t get to do that before Dad took care of him.” Telemachus smiled at his Dad, who was still doing his little song and dance but had involved his mom into it.

“I wish he never had to experience it, but I guess there isn’t anything I can do about it now.”

“You can be here for him.” Athena says. Telemachus looks at her. She was looking at Odysseus with an almost vacant expression. As if seeing something that wasn’t there. “Just be there for him and I promise that’ll be more than enough for him.” They watch as Odysseus brings his wife into his arms as they sway. No music is playing but they both clearly hear a song as they dance and sway in each other's arms.

Odysseus looks at his wife in his arms and leans in. She whispers “Are you sure?” before he nods and closes the distance. It was a chaste kiss but one full of love. They poured all the love felt for each other into the kiss before breaking away.

“Ok come back here you two!” Penelope motions for Athena and Telemachus to join.

They all sit back together and bask in the love they all had for each other. “Are you ok to continue, my son?” Odysseus looks to his son who was under one of Athena’s wings. A small smile creeps onto his face at the sight. “Yes, Father, I am ok to continue as long as you are.” “I am fine.” “Then let’s continue.”

Odysseus takes a breath before speaking. “This continued for years. Everyday I would sit at the beach, crying, pleading, begging anyone to come and save me. It was easier some days and harder on others. Then came a particular hard night.” Odysseus pauses. He looks at Athena guiltily before looking down at his hands. “Please don’t think less of me for this.” he whispers. “I couldn’t take it if you do.”

“I could never.” Athena says, slightly confused but growing more concerned. Just what happened that made Odysseus so sure she wouldn’t forgive him.

He takes a deep breath but everyone can see just how pale and shaky he was. Penelope squeezes his hand and Telemachus looks at his father in worry. They all notice how Odysseus seems to be struggling to continue and they all move closer to him. Penelope is practically pressing her whole side into him while Telemachus has his knee and shoulder touching his fathers. Athena decides to spread her wings and uses them to cover the little family, wrapping them in a little cocoon. A few minutes pass, as Odysseus seems to be gathering the courage to speak.

“This night, she had made ‘perform’ for lack of a better term multiple times,” Penelope hissed, Athena growled while Telemachus was slightly green. “I finally escaped her grasp and wound up on a cliff. I walked all the way to the edge and looked down to see a 200 mile drop into the ocean.” Penelope gasped. “No!” she whispered. Too far into his memories once again to acknowledge her, he continued. “I looked out and saw only dark water and clouds. Almost as if a storm was brewing. I guess Poseidon was having trouble with someone other than me that day.” He weakly lets out a chuckle.

“It started to rain at one point but I didn’t pay it any mind. I just kept looking out and got closer and closer to the edge until I could easily have slipped and fallen.” At this Odysseus closes his eyes as his breathing gets heavier. He pales even further if possible and he violently shakes once more. A sob escapes him.

“I didn’t want to leave you but I couldn’t see a way out. Every night the same torture and everyday the pain of not being able to leave. I just couldn’t take it. I had had these thoughts before but never had they been that bad.” Unconsciously Odysseus takes his hand out of Penelope’s and places it on his forearm. Telemachus breathes in sharply. Penelope lets out a small gasp as Athena looks at Odysseus with a worried face.

“Odysseus, can I see your arm?” Athena asks gently. Odysseus pales even further as he realizes what he did. He shakes his head. Athena sighs. “Please?” Odysseus closes his eyes at her plea. As he lets out a sigh, he holds his arm out letting her take it. As they look at it, they see 5 pale, faint, methodical lines on the underside of his wrist. Silence. A sharp gasp is heard and Odysseus looks toward the sound. He locks eyes with his beautiful wife, as he sees her holding her hands to her mouth as tears stream down her face.

“Why?” she whispers. Odysseus looks down in shame. ‘Of course, she is gonna hate me now. I was going to abandon her, why wouldn’t she?’ he thinks miserably.

“Why did they make you suffer? Why did you not help him?!” Odysseus’ head shoots up as he sees Penelope looking at Athena with a livid expression on her face. “How you could not do anything to help him. He is your friend! How could you just leave him to suffer!”

“Penelope!”

Athena just hangs her head in shame. “I have no excuse for my actions. I can only try to make up for them now. I am so sorry Odysseus. For everything. If I could take back what I did or didn’t do, I would. I can only have some solace in the fact that I was able to help you eventually.”

At this Odysseus looks at Athena confused. “What do you mean? How did you help me?” It sounded accusatory but was asked in genuine confusion. Athena looks up and sees the confusion on his face. “You do not know how you got off the island?”

Penelope and Telemachus looked back and forth during their conversation, before Penelope interrupted. “I am sorry for my outburst, but what do you mean, My Lady?” Athena just looks between all of them before replying. “I will tell you after Odysseus finishes his part of the story.” Then she looks back to Odysseus and her expression softens.

“These scars don’t define you and aren’t anything to be ashamed of. They are proof that you have fought some of the hardest battles any warrior can fight and won. They aren’t something I would ever shame you for. I would never think less of you for dealing with the things you have experienced in the only way you felt was right. That is to say, I am glad that you didn’t go through with it and that you are sitting here with us today.”

As Athena spoke, Odysseus’ eyes filled with tears. When she finished he threw himself into her arms sobbing violently. She wrapped her arms and wings around him, enveloping him into a cocoon of feathers. He relishes in having her so close. He finally feels safe since the whole ordeal. The cocoon of feathers provided a sanctuary from the torment he had endured and he let himself relax as her wings tightened around him. A hand raked through his hair as soft coos could be heard. Odysseus let out a deep breath burrowing further into his mentor's arms.

Eventually, Odysseus calmed down and removed himself from Athena’s embrace. “Thank you” Odysseus says hoarsely. As he returns to his original position, he gets an arm full of his son. The front of his tunic slowly being soaked with tears as his son lets out his fear and emotions at learning how close he came to losing and never meeting his father.

“I am so glad you’re here Dad. I can’t imagine never having met you.” Odysseus had a bit of trouble understanding what Telemachus had said since it was mumbled into his chest but was able to make out most of it. He pressed a kiss to the top of his head and hugged his son tighter. They ended the embrace and Odysseus turned to his wife. She had a small smile on her face, having seen the interaction between father and son.

Odysseus takes Penelope’s hand and squeezes to let her know that he is still here. She gives him a weak smile and buries her face in the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around her waist and holds her tightly. He releases her after a little while. They all resume their old positions with Athena wrapping her wings around them once more.

Penelope looks over to her son and sees him caressing a small strip of skin in the same place Odysseus had, on his own wrist. She shoots him a look of concern and worry before making a note to talk to him later.

Odysseus takes a deep breath before continuing. “As I got to the very edge, she called out to me. She started saying things I can’t really remember right now. What I do remember is her calling me Ody, her saying that ‘she will stay in my heart’ and….” he trails off as his hands start to shake once more. Athena realizes that she had caused a PTSD flashback with what was said.

“...and that I should stay in her open arms.”

Penelope takes a sharp breath. She grips Odysseus’ arm as she realizes just what is causing the distress in her husband. That was Polites’ favorite piece of advice for her husband. He had said it many times over the years, and it was something she knew her husband tried to adhere to but it clashed with what Athena had taught him. They had had many nights where Odysseus would tell her how much he wanted to embrace the world with open arms as his best friend preached but knew that it wasn't possible in this world. Her heart broke at just what he had endured for some many years, just to get back to her and their son. As she looks at him, she sees that he has an almost haunted look on his face as the memories and grief threaten to consume him.

Athena also realizes just what caused her warrior to spiral so much. She winces slightly at her own hand in the trauma of that statement on her warrior. She looks at Odysseus with concern as Penelope tries to bring her husband out of his memories.

Penelope squeezes Odysseus’ hand and sees him flinch but the expression clears on his face. Telemachus buries his face into his father’s chest in an attempt to comfort him. Odysseus takes a deep breath and sighs. He really wanted to just fall asleep and sleep for the next 5 days but knew he had to finish telling his family what had occurred. Especially if he wanted to be able to sleep better.

“As she said that, I could almost hear all of them speaking to me. It was like they knew I was vulnerable and I don't know if they were to help or if they were trying to push me toward the cliff.” A small sob escapes him. “I could barely hear them. I was starting to forget what they sounded like. None of their voices sounded right and I couldn’t figure out why!” Another sob escaped him. All his family could do was hold him tighter.

“I just wanted the voices to stop! I just wanted to be able to close my eyes and rest. So I screamed in an attempt to drown them out. I don’t know what I screamed but I guess someone heard me.”

Athena had a small smile on her face. It faded as the memories of what she did to help him came to mind. A small flinch at the memories before she cleared her head, hoping none of them noticed. Unbeknownst to her, Telemachus did notice and gave a small frown. He wondered just what Athena thought of that would cause that sort of reaction.

“I eventually went back inside with her but she let me be for a while. I guess she realized just how close she came to losing me and decided to give me some space for a bit. Not for very long but at least some.”

Odysseus sags in his family's hold. They sit there, holding him for a while trying to bring some comfort. They all are wrapped up in memories as they sit there. Penelope, thinking about how Odysseus had shied away from almost all physical touch unless he initiated it, and connecting the dots on why after everything he had said. Telemachus was thinking about how similar his and his dad’s experiences were. Athena was thinking about what she had to do to get Odysseus out of the bitch’s clutches and the fact that she was going to have to share that with them. She hoped they would still accept her as their patron goddess after learning just how weak she was.

“How did you end up leaving if she had you trapped?” Telemachus wondered. He was looking between his father and Athena, feeling like she had a hand in his escape. “Well, my son, one day a few months later, she came to me on the beach and told me that someone had come and told her that Zeus ordered her to release me. She then gave me the tools I needed to build a raft and some food for my journey.” Odysseus sighed. “Then she said how she was sorry for everything she put me through but that she was sorry her love was too much for me. That she wasn't sorry for loving me.” Athena snarled. Trust the bitch to try one last manipulation in an attempt to get him to stay.

“She started ranting about how she clearly had read too much into ‘all of the moments we shared’ and how she wished I would hold her and say sweet things and all of those things.” Odysseus then turns to his wife with a look of almost fear. He shrinks and curls away from her. “My love please don’t be mad at me for this. I promise it isn’t what you think!” Odysseus pleads once more. She looks concerned and exchanges a look with Athena before grabbing his hands.

“My love, I promise to listen and reserve any judgement until the end. I promise I won’t get mad.” she says softly.

He sighs. “She was saying how she wished I would say sweet words and how she wished I would lie and say….” His voice broke. A shaky breath, a quick look up to his wife’s face before looking at their clasped hands. “I interrupted her and said……I love you.” The last bit is almost inaudible. The only indication that she heard him was the tightening of her hands in his. “I didn’t mean it. She had just said how she wished I would lie and say the words and so in an act of compassion I said them. I regretted it immediately afterwards. I hadn’t meant them, and she had been asking me to lie so I did. She looked at me with such wonder and joy that I felt bad for what I said next but I couldn't give her false hope. That would have been too cruel.”

Athena nods. She understood where Odysseus was coming from as hope can be a cruel thing and false hope even more so.

“She asked me if I truly did love her, and I responded that it wasn’t in the way she wanted me to. She started crying and screaming at me. Things like, what was she supposed to do now, and what was she supposed to do with the love she had for me, and why wouldn’t I love her back. I just turned around, got on the raft and finally left.”

He lets out a deep sigh and slumps over exhausted. Penelope softly asks “Can you look at me, Odysseus?” He flinches lightly but slowly looks up to meet her gaze. Her face is soft and a small smile is on her face. “I am so proud of you.” He lets out a small whine, eyes wide with shock. “The fact that after all she did to you, after everything you suffered, you still were kind enough to give her something she was asking for. That’s amazing. It shows just what a kind person you still are. I could never be mad at you for doing whatever it takes to survive. Especially since it brought you back home to me.” Something inside Odysseus snaps and the tight tendrils around his heart loosens as he realizes that Penelope doesn’t blame him. At that realization, Odysseus breaks down in tears. Penelope envelops him in a hug and rocks him back and forth like one would with a child. She makes soothing noises, whispering sweet nothings in his ear as he sobs in her arms.

After a while, Odysseus pulls away. He feels exhausted and just wants to lay down and sleep for 5 days straight. Then he feels Telemachus shift and looks to see him looking at him with a look of concern. “Dad, you look exhausted. Do you wanna take a nap? You look like you could really use the sleep.” He smiles fondly at his son and ruffles his hair. Telemachus leans into it, his eyes sliding shut.

Athena watches this with a smile before deciding to stand. “Ok, we can continue this when you’ve had some rest Odysseus. I will let you go back and rest and I will come back to finish up the story.” Telemachus exchanges a look with his parents before standing in front of Athena. He takes her hand, which startles her slightly. “Athena, please come back with us. I know you are exhausted too and you should sleep as well. Besides, we have a surprise for you at the palace. Please come with us.” He pleads, giving her his patent puppy dog eyes that no one could resist.

She looks at him conflicted before shooting a look towards Penelope and Odysseus expecting looks of indifference or refusal but is shocked to find looks of love and acceptance. Odysseus even nods and has a slight look in his eyes of almost pleading. She looks back at Telemachus, her face softening. “Ok, little wolf. I will come back with you guys.” Telemachus lets out a soft cheer before walking over to his parents. He helps his mother with his father, as he still had some trouble in getting up with his frail state. He hadn’t been home long enough to regain all the strength from the lack of food from the journey home. While she had given him some food, it hadn’t been enough for the whole journey. They all stand together as the blue landscape fades.

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#epic the musical #epic wisdom saga #epic vengeance saga #epic ithaca saga #odysseus #penelope #athena #telemachus #hurt/comfort #found family #fluff fluff fluff #angst #first fanfic #complex ptsd #sa tw

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