#at this point I'm copying all the shit we wrote last year

[stark-ironman]

What happens in Vegas...

18+ No Minors

A/N: maybe make this a mini-series? Let me know because I wrote this in 4 hours lol.

Warnings: mentions of drinking, mentions of sex and sex tape, accidentl marriage

You're still not entirely sure how you got talked into coming to Vegas with Hugh, Ryan and Blake after the filming of Deadpool and Wolverine but you're not really complaining. Especially when the four of you can turn any type of get together into a party.

Right now is no different, except for the fact Ryan and Blake went to a fancy restaurant for their date night, leaving you and Hugh at the hotel with a stocked bar. Between the two of you, the stocked bar is almost empty and you both are well past the point of being drunk.

What started out as a friendly hangout quickly turned into flirty comments here and there, subtle touches when the other tries to walk past and now a game of truth or dare. It started out just telling each other secrets and doing little harmless dares but it quickly took a turn when you dared Hugh to kiss you. He didn't hesitate to press his lips against yours and things quickly got heated but you pulled away before it could.

You're just friends. You have been for the past 6 years and tonight is no different, you try telling yourself. The two of you have been heavily drinking and the alcohol is making you both not think clearly.

That's where you should've stopped drinking at but instead, you two decided to head to the hotel bar and grab a few more drinks before walking the strip. Hugh holds your hand the whole time to make sure you both don't get separated, both of you taking videos and sending them to Ryan and Blake while trying to walk until a wedding chapel comes into your sight.

"Wouldn't it be hilarious if we go in there to get married and send that to them to prank them?" You ask, holding onto Hugh's arm as you both start giggling walking inside.

The wedding ceremony is quick, they even handed you a copy of the marriage license and Hugh is quick to send the videos to Ryan before taking you to a nearby shop to buy the both of you rings to continue with the joke. Or so he thinks. Neither one of you know you actually went to a real chapel and are officially legally married or that Ryan and Blake are searching the strip for the two of you so they can get you back to your separate rooms before anymore surprises can happen tonight.

The problem though, Vegas is so busy so it's like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Especially when the two of you are back in the hotel room, laying on the bed giggling after you both decided to consummate the marriage and video taping it in the process.

At some point, the two of you do get dressed just incase someone walks in and you wind up falling asleep while talking to Hugh, so he tucks you in before falling asleep himself.

-----

The next morning, you wake up with a blinding headache and the sun shining brightly in the room. With a groan, you sit up and cover your face with your hand but when your eyes focus, you see a ring on your finger. A confused look flashes quickly across your face as you look around at all the empty liquor bottles and see Hugh laying on his stomach on the foot of the bed knocked out.

You grab your phone and notice it's dead, the same with Hugh's so you quickly put them on the charger and head to the bathroom. Once finished, you wash your hands and look in the mirror at your appearance, noticing you look like pure hell so you decide to take a shower to clean up a bit.

When you get out, you wrap a towel around your body and quickly tip toe back to the bedroom to grab some clothes but instead you find Hugh attempting to sit up. "Oh shit, my bad. I'm not looking I promise." Hugh sis quickly covering his face to allow you to get dressed.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" You ask as you finish getting dressed. "The last thing I remember is pulling out that bottle of tequila and I think we played truth or dare. I'm not sure though." He says removing his hands and standing up, walking to the bathroom as you go sit back on the bed but a knock on the door stops you.

You hear the shower turn on so you go open it, seeing Ryan and Blake standing there with unreadable expressions. They walk in and take a look around, noticing the party you two had last night as you sit on the bed and leaning your head against the headboard.

"I take it you don't remember anything from last night?" Ryan slowly asks. You shake your head and Hugh walks out in a towel, looking confused when Ryan and Blake look at him in shock. "So, the two of you slept together?" Blake asks. "What? No. When we woke up I was here and Hugh was face down at the foot of the bed. Fully clothed." You tell them.

Hugh grabs some clothes and goes to get dressed, coming back out and sitting beside you as Ryan and Blake stand there in silence. "What's going on with you two?" Hugh asks. "Why not start with this first video and swipe until the last one?" Ryan hands him his phone and you both watch each video, a shocked expression on both of your faces.

"We went to a fake chapel, right?" You ask looking at Hugh but his hands are covering his face. "Judging by this marriage license, you two are legally married by the state of Nevada." Ryan tells you with an amused look on his face and you can't help but to groan a bit.

"I think we will let you both have a moment to yourselves and meet you two for lunch, okay? Don't go consummating this marriage if you two don't want to be together." He says as they walk out, leaving Hugh and you there to figure things out.

"Consummate the marr.. shit." Hugh mumbles as he reaches for his phone, turning it on. "Don't get mad but I think we did have sex.. and we recorded it." He says as you shoot up out of the bed. "What do you mean we recorded it? Who's idea was that?" You ask, quickly remembering that it was you who suggested it.

Hugh pulls up the video and sure enough, the video was right there in his gallery. "We went at it for a whole hour?" You ask once you see the time stamp on the video. "I think I went down on you for quite a bit before you done the same to me." Hugh says trying to remember the night.

"We will probably have to watch all of these videos if we want to remember anything but we will do that at a different time, right now we need to decide what to do about this marriage thing." Hugh looks at you with a look and takes a deep breath.

"If I'm being honest, I've been attracted to you for a while now but I didn't want this to be how we got together. I want to be with you but I want to do it the correct way." He slowly says trying to find the right words. "So, you want to get an annulment?" You ask. "Is that what you want?"

You think about it, grabbing his hand and squeezing it softly. "There's always been an attraction between us. Would it be so bad if we stayed married and figured out life together?" "It wouldn't be bad at all but I would like for us to take the time to learn about each other in that way instead of jumping in this marriage not knowing anything." He says as he pulls you close.

"So, then we date first. We figure it out and when we feel ready, we have a real proposal with a wedding ceremony. If it doesn't work out then we go our separate ways and remain friends. Sound good?"

He nods, kissing your head softly. "Sounds good. We will take things slow." "Let's go meet Ryan and Blake for lunch and just act the way we normally do." You say standing up and letting him lead you out the room.

[mimi-is-so-horny]

okay, so... you know how sometimes a day starts lovely, and then it goes to shit? and sometimes, you feel like you've done this to yourself? actually, you have done it to yourself. anyway.

i made a point to wake up early today to make Sir and Anna breakfast and to write them a note thanking them for fucking me so well yesterday, and for being pretty much the best thing in my life right now. i felt very grateful and i know i'm very lucky. i think they appreciated that, too.

i blew the candles on my birthday cake naked on Sir's lap - i've been 25 for a couple of days, and i usually hate my birthdays, but Anna insisted we should do the whole birthday thing properly. Sir wrote me a birthday card that almost moved me to tears. He groped my tits as i blew my candles.

for context, i used to want to enter academia in combination to committing to a totally different career path. what i'm doing right now isn't even my Plan C, so of course, i feel a bit like a failure. i'd written a chapter in a book that discussed some recent developments in my field and placed them in a behavioural/institutional context - the book was published this year, and the complimentary copy they sent to authors arrived on my birthday. i should be happy, right? but i feel so defeated, and so dumb, and like this is the first and last good thing i got to do before giving up on my aspirations completely. sure, i'll still apply to enter a more commercial side of my field next year, but that's still just more "sustainable", financially, and more difficult than i thought it would be. all this effort for something i won't really value or enjoy, yuck. and what if i fail, again? anyway. Mimi's whiny ass.

so Sir asked me to read my chapter, and i said yes, sure. He wanted to "see how i think". why not, right?

He fucked me yesterday, and this morning, and at noon, and it felt so good. and now He came to my room, to tell me He read my chapter, and while i felt vulnerable i tried to look cool asking Him what He thought of it.

and He showered me in compliments, and asked me why am i here, and not at a Big Prestigious University™ doing research? i told Him that's why i tried, and the Big Prestigious University™ didn't do shit for Mimi in a post-covid job market where she had to care for her family and couldn't work Prestigious Unpaid Internships™. and still, with no network or real mentors that cared more about guiding me than fucking me, or plagiarising me (lol), my options narrowed. and He knew that, so why was He asking me? and then He asked more questions, and i got increasingly angry and i cried and told Him to leave my room, please. well, at least He did.

so now i have to go downstairs and apologise for lashing out at Him for essentially caring. that was just me projecting - how mad i am at myself for failing, and for giving up, and and for being too lazy to try again - on Him. but i also don't want to do that, because i can only taste how i'm not working in the city i want, and how the people i work for are surprised when i can introduce better corrections than them, and how i am a grown woman that is already bitter about not being where she wanted to be. how i pretend to have given up, when in reality i'm still kind of grieving the people i thought i could be, and realising it can always get worse. am i making myself into a victim: poor-me, poor-me? or am i entitled to my anger and sadness? i don't know, and Sir knows something sad happened to me without my consent, a long while ago - so what if He sees me as a victim, too? am i really that stupid and that passive? what if i'm wasting His time, too?

i don't think i use kink as a coping mechanism or as a distraction; i'm just happy it's an area of my life i'm currently getting exactly what i want, exactly in my own terms and limits - i've rarely gotten that much respect and reciprocity in "vanilla world" - be it work, or education, or friendships. but that fact also makes me sad. why can't i have some of the things i want, sometimes? why was it "Rejection Letter"+"Your Flatmate Lost Your Cat And Now Won't Help Or Speak To You"+"Your Supervisor Wants To Fuck You And He's Angry Now!"+"Your Family Is Asking For Money, Again!!!", and not, like, slightly better? it's hard to feel empowered now. that sad six-year-old is here again, and she wants good stuff i don't know how to give, because i'm out of fucking candy (or, y'know, drugs. because i don't do that shit anymore).

anyway, that will be a difficult conversation. and i feel sorry for Him, for having to deal with me.

well, that was a very self-centred ramble by a fairly self-centred person, so i'm sorry if you read this? but also it was your choice to do so, meh. drink water, wear sunscreen.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Lookism Big Deal dynamics

hc of my number 1 crew: the Golden Era of Big Deal

Sinu Han

Naturally fun drunk uncle vibe but has to be the reluctant dad.

Tries to teach the kids and be a good role model. Attempts birds and bees lecture when he thinks the boys are up to no good but who are we kidding... no experience whatsoever. Tries to teach the crew but more often than not he learns something himself.

Gets the young members all their first beers much to Yeonhui's disapproval.

Makes them teach him the new tech, new slang, new trends. They're reluctant but he pulls rank. He will still dab to this day.

Shit stirrer, the biggest gossip, and will absolutely egg on non-serious fights.

Favourite hobby is winding up Samuel. This includes:

Calling him Sammy.

Stealing just the 1 brass knuckle, wearing it and constantly asking why Samuel's copying him.

Wearing the standard regulation Big Deal uniform and constantly asking why Samuel's copying him.

Reserving the best jokes for Samuel exclusively:

"I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it’s actually more of a wrap"

...Then proceeds to rap.

Jake Kim

Well liked and respected by almost everyone in Big Deal. They are usually won over by his natural charm and his cheeky smile.

Knows everyone by name and makes sure to acknowledge and ask about them.

Extremely good memory, to the point some members find it a bit creepy "morning [name], hope your grandmas operation went well" until they remembered they mentioned it in passing 2 months ago.

Messes around a lot. Trying to speak to him about some official business when he's not in the mood? "I'm Jane Kim, I don't know who Jake is" and runs away.

Just and fair in real life, but cheats at every game he plays. Samuel has flipped the table on him more than once.

Samuel

Has an extremely dry sense of humour that most people can't read.

Sinu: It'll be good to get a new paint job for my car. Do you think we can afford it?

Samuel: Sure. We have a lot of money to spare.

Sinu: Really???

Samuel: Everyone has been eating ramen for the last 3 weeks and you have holes in your socks. You tell me.

Most of Big Deal can't understand why he gets on so well with Jake when they seem like oil and water. Hey, opposites attract. And ultimately they're working towards the same goal for now.

These 2 are the definition of good cop, bad cop.

Jake: why are you going round terrorising our girls

Rival Gang member: your girls work for us from now on

Jake: [sigh] listen, leave Big Deal Street alone. You don't want me to get this guy [points at Samuel] involved. I'm doing you a favour here

[Samuel smoking menacingly and looking unhinged]

Rival Gang member: ...ok

[Samuel beats the shit out of him anyway]

Jerry Kwon

Most of Big Deal were absolutely terrified of him until they found out he was 15 years old and Jake prepares his lunches.

Often plans visiting Jeju Island with Jason and sightseeing for when they have money to spare.

No hard feelings between him and Lineman, with Jerry even tutoring him on some of the subjects at school.

Listens patiently to all the bullshit that Lineman weaves like it's storytime.

Jerry tries to prioritise school when he can, and still gets around on his bicycle. He wants to keep making Jake proud.

Brad Lee

You thought Jake was bad to play games with? This guy has the most underhanded tricks. Hiding extra monopoly money, random cards up his sleeve, making up rules that sound just official enough. Samuel hasn't actually flipped the table on him. He just enjoys watching Jake getting more and more pissed off then Jake will do the table flip.

During the gang's quieter days, him and Sinu are the most annoying fuckers to be around. Constantly cracking jokes and ridiculous conversations that gives the rest of Big Deal a headache.

Sinu: which octopus leg would you want be?

Brad: the fifth one, it's the most important

Sinu: (nods) that makes sense

Sinu: hey Brenda, who am i?

Brad: good morning Sarah, how's make up school going?

Jason Yoon

Hangs out on the pier a lot. The rest of Big Deal think he's broody but it reminds him of Jeju Island beaches a little and he feels homesick.

Didn't speak a lot and quiet initially. He actually did have a lot of things to say, mostly revolving round wanting Sinu and Brad to stfu but keeps his mouth shut as he doesn't want to offend the boss.

The most pragmatic out of Team YB and has the best working relationship with Samuel.

The girls have heard he's called the Crimson Stallion but they don't really know why. "Hey do you think it's cos he's hung like a-"

Lineman

Golden retriever vibes, happy to be here. Super starstruck when he was introduced to everyone.

Gets flustered and stutters when he first joined the crew "g-good morning j-jake" and 'oh h-hiya mister k-kwon' until Jason and Brad poked fun at him "hey fuck you guys!!! im just being polite >:(" he very quickly relaxed and settled in after that.

Then it was the return of the cocky Lineman: the bullshit master of Big Deal.

Completely harmless and well intentioned though so they dont mind. Everyone can smell it a mile away but they let him dig his own grave.

Lua

The conservative culture and the fact that not a lot of girls are in the crew means the boys don't know how to often act around her. She gets away with far too much and takes advantage of this.

Brings back stray cats and dogs to Big Deal, where her and Jerry would take care of them until Samuel reminds them they barely have enough money to feed themselves.

Samuel is the only person that can keep her in line, and who treats her like any other member. To him your gender doesn't matter as long as you're useful. Lua respects him a lot but finds him too intimidating to ever get too close.

[imaslutforcuddles]

Vampire

(Moodboard made by me.)

August Walker x Reader

Vampire, By Olivia Rodrigo.

Summary: You two had been like peas in a pod, close and comfortable. You both knew each other or so you thought. It was only a matter of time before the truth came out. August knew this, and he pushed it as far away as he could. But you're smarter than that.

Words: 942

Warnings: Swearing, spoilers, mentions of sex, yelling, manipulation, angst, violence, minor character death, not a happy ending, August Walker is a walking red flag.

A/N: This goes along with mission impossible six, except reader works alongside August. Like most of my other fics, this one corresponds with a song. Banner below by cafekitsune.

"If you don't hear from us," Ethan looked over to August as he cocked his gun.

"I'll do it my way."

August had always been a brute and someone who wouldn't hesitate to get a job done.

After years of working alone, he was a complete change of direction; and you loved it.

The thrill alone of working with him was great, but the thrill he gave you almost every night in bed kept you warm inside.

He nodded to Ethan.

"Don't take your eyes off him."

August grunted as the others left, he had wanted you to stay safe and far away from him. Yet, he couldn't help but yearn for you.

He shook his head returning to the reason he had gone on this mission in the first place.

After unplugging the camera watching Lane, he filled a syringe with adrenaline, before walking back to where Lane was held captive.

The door was opened and he almost shoved the syringe into Lane grunting as he gasped awake.

"Enough games, I'm taking you out of here."

It was like a mouse and cat. Ethan was chasing a piece of cheese that couldn't be found, unknowing of the cat running after him.

August huffed, un-doing his cuffs.

"Where's Hunt?"

Lane had almost looked scared when he spoke.

"He's gone to the meeting, with a copy of you."

August was huffing with rage at this point and Lane could feel it. He raised a hand and sucked in a breath.

"Calm down. Call the apostles. Warn them."

August's face contorted, almost in disgust; but mainly annoyance.

"I have no way of contacting them. For their safety and mine."

He glared at him.

"What I do have is an extraction team with satellite overwatch and prearranged rendezvous. They'll know as soon as we leave the building."

He turned to leave before Lane continued, "No, I'm staying here."

He shifted in his seat as August stopped.

"I haven't finished with Hunt yet."

August whipped his body around, full of annoyance and anger, before stomping back to him.

"Why'd you have to make this so fucking complicated?"

Lane's head turned, "I don't understand what you mean."

August looked absolutely done, he felt done too.

"The deal was simple. I help you frame Hunt, you give me the plutonium. You're wasting time."

"There cannot be peace without first a great suffering."

He moved his face away, trying not to beat the shit out of him.

"The greater the suffering, the greater the peace."

August was losing his patience.

"When I wrote those words I wasn't referring to your peace or Hunt's suffering. The old world order needs dismantling, and we have the tools to dismantle it. All you seem to care about is that Hunt lives to take the blame. That's not anarchy."

Lane's face becomes widened and amused, and he nods slightly.

"That's revenge."

Lane leaned forward.

"Yes it is. And when I have what I want, the apostles with give you the plutonium."

Walker sighs and starts walking away, only before turning back around to spit out more words like their his last.

"Hunts the only friend you've got. You're only alive today because he didn't have the guts to kill you. Sloan was right, the IMF is like halloween. Nothing but grown men wearing,"

He pauses, something hadn't felt right earlier and things were starting to add up. He looks over to the computer they had made a copy of lanes face with.

Lane looks behind him and smiles, shifting in his seat.

"What?" He clears his throat uncomfortably.

August starts walking over to lane before aggressively ripping off his mask, revealing:

"Was it just the job?" You growl.

He was taken aback, expected anyone but you. He prayed it would be anyone but you.

You hadn't specified but he knew what you were asking.

The restraints holding you to the chair had been fake the whole time, just like his affection for you.

"You know, i had almost left this whole job when Hunt was sure you were John Larke. I couldn't believe you had faked our,"

You pause trying to find the words for the relationship you had made with him.

"He begged me to just sit here and act, that you may be exactly what he thought you were." You scoff before turning your head.

"And he was right."

August just stands there, annoyed and unresponsive. It makes you want to scream and kick him, but you stay patient.

"Was i just some stupid fuck you thought would help you when things turned out in the end?"

He finally opens his mouth, but the only thing that comes out is acid.

"I could never love you."

it strikes something in you. Maybe a fire, maybe something hotter than that, but it burns.

And you snap.

You reach behind him and grab his gun, it had happened all too fast. He couldn't contemplate what to say to you.

"Your fucking pathetic you know that? Going after your own teammate because you couldn't find a man to fuck you." He snorts trying to push you.

"That's rich coming from you asshole."

Your hands shake and he doesn't miss it. He counts on your failure, he thinks your weak.

"Oh you think i wouldn't kill you?" You laugh and his smirk turns bitter.

"Goodbye August, or whatever your name is."

Your words pierce his heart before the bullet does, but they don't reach his brain fast enough to make a move.

His words had rung in your head long after his body fell motionless.

But you had no choice, and he wasn't worth it.

[thessalian]

Thess vs NaNoWriMo

So that time of year is fast approaching, and I think a lot of people I associate with on this platform are going, "But Veilguard's coming out on HALLOWEEN!", which is entirely fine - NaNoWriMo is optional. And honestly, all things considered, I am probably never doing it as an organised situation again.

It took some digging to find the original text, and I'll probably post the screenshot I saw on Bluesky too, but summary: not only is NaNoWriMo pretty much supporting AI (they say "absolutely not condemning", but the rest of the text isn't nearly so mealy-mouthed about it) but also calling people who are against AI "ableist and classist".

No, seriously. I mean, seriously.

Look, how people get their ideas is probably up to them. And stolen valour aside, plugging an idea into ChatGPT and getting some word salad in return is ... I guess someone's prerogative. The same as someone just typing, like, "rutabaga" 50k times technically counts as writing 50k words. But ... first of all, NaNoWriMo was supposed to support people who write. Second of all, the idea that not having someone immediately at your side to serve as beta reader is "classist" is ... no. Like, if you're online enough to understand NaNoWriMo, you can find a damn beta reader. Third, "Some people's brains don't work well enough to see the problems in their writing--" SEE ABOVE RE PROOF-READING, FOR ONE THING, and for another, that's just shit like spelling and grammar check, which has been standard on word processing programmes basically ever since the concept existed! Fourth, I'm not sure how AI assists in shit like "Can't find a publisher because publishers are only really interested in what will sell ALL THE BOOKS", but that's one of their arguments too.

But the last thing - the worst thing - is what that means. NaNoWriMo is not cool with plagiarism as far as I know, but that's what trains AI. More to the point, you have to verify your word count with their website by actually copy-pasting everything you wrote into the site for it to show you as a winner. The fact that they support AI, and that one of their sponsors offers a whole bunch of AI features? I don't trust them not to be selling every single thing people submit for word count total to feed someone else's writer-bot.

I mean, the NaNoWriMo bods have made some spectacularly shitty decisions the last few years. There was that partnership with those scammers at Inkkit, which also revealed the whole thing where one of their moderators - who operated the youth programme, by the way - turned out to be a paedophile and groomer. But this one is just ... disrespectful of the very thing they were supposed to be supporting.

Please don't use the official NaNoWriMo resources. I am concerned for what it will do with not only what you submit for word count, but what you put in their forums too. If you want to do 50k words in 30 days, I am with you all the way, and others will be too. Find a support group that isn't these jackasses and do that.

Plus the "not using AI is ableist" thing is bullshit, by the way. I am not participating this year (I don't think, anyway; not unless I get a great idea) because I'm damn sure I don't have the spoons for that ... because disabled. Because fibromyalgia. The thing is, I don't want to just say "I produced 50k words and won NaNo", I want to write. I want to use my voice, not something cooked up by a machine learning algorithm based on a single sentence. I think way too many people have forgotten what "in your own voice" means to art.

Like, on the r/criticalrole subreddit, we were talking about how Lance Reddick actually did record all his lines as Thordak in TLOVM before he passed, and I mentioned how different that was going to hit, with the example of having heard Robin Sachs as Zaeed in the ME3 Citadel DLC after he passed. And someone went, "Oh, shit, I didn't know he passed! Hey, do you think they'll one day be able to use the voices of dead voice actors so we can keep hearing them? Because I know it's possible because Snoop Doggy Dogg is reading me my homework now and it's awesome!"

I ... may have kind of exploded. I may also have mentioned that some bunch of assholes tried to make a George Carlin special after Carlin's death and his daughter (understandably) hit the roof. It's bad enough to disrespect thousands of people by training an AI to spit out whatever of their works will fit a prompt sentence, but imagine hearing the voice of someone you love, mangled by AI's inability to get real emotional nuance, possibly saying shit they would never say? Using their voices doesn't change that the emotion and power behind those voices is gone forever; it just parades a decaying copy of them around like some vocal equivalent of Weekend at Bernie's.

[lollytea]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Mar tagged me in this. Thank you Mar <333

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

358,837

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Owls....for now and the foreseeable future. Other things in the past but....owls. Owls and nothing else.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

There's Sunshine in Your Smile

Atlas and the Avid Reader

A Little Change

An Exercise in Understanding

Girl Talk

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I don't, I'm sorry!! When I first started posting on ao3, I answered every comment I got, but as more came in, I realized I was running out of ways to respond and it felt like I was just copy and pasting "thank you so much omg!!!" again and again and it felt awkward and disingenuous. (I meant it tho!! I did!!)

Also I never have any idea how to respond to long essay type comments that were picking the fic apart and highlighting everything they like about it. I ADORE those comments!!! They make me happier than anything else on earth but HOW can I respond to them?? A one liner thanks feels cheap and meaningless, but a long ramble about my own stuff feels arrogant.

So I just stopped replying to comments altogether. But listen please listen!!! I do read them!!! I read every single one of them and I love and appreciate them with all my heart!!! Thank you so so SO much to anybody who's ever left a comment on anything I've written!!!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really write angsty endings. I guess atlas and pages both ended on a bit of a bittersweet note? Maybe.

That one ducktales fic Fearless left off on a kinda angsty cliffhanger, only because I never finished it. So it's technically an ending

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Man I dunno most of them are kinda open ended (or unfinished) I suppose A Little Change ended on a sickeningly sweet note. Like disgustingly sweet (because I was 19 and stupid and had no concept of subtlety) Penniless Promises ended with a marriage proposal.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No the only hate comment I've ever gotten is this one

It kinda annoys me. I consider your first hate comment to be a special milestone in your fanfic writing history. I've been waiting years for this. And then I FINALLY get it but I have no fucking idea what it means.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've written bits and pieces over the years but I don't post any of it. I think the last "smut" I posted was weird werewolf knotting shit in like 2017

What kind? Fuckin uhhhhh. It's always very fluffy. Usually there's nothing weird going on. Sometimes there's monsters involved but the monsters are usually massive sweethearts who just want love.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. A few times. And it's always fucking wattpad. At one point, somebody put my fic through Google translate and reposted it in Spanish. I would have been completely unaware if somebody hadn't messaged me about it.

The process of getting them to take it down was a fucking circus. Their ability to use Google translate suddenly vanished the moment I contacted them.

I reported it and had to go back and forth with Wattpad support because the fic was IN SPANISH, so they just kinda glanced at it and were like "This is not the same thing that you wrote. These are different words. Spanish words." I was losing my MIND!!!!!!

They took it down eventually. Anyway...sorry I went on a tangent, I just think this is a funny story. Moral of the story is there are probably several stolen fics on wattpad and run through translators, and we have no idea. There might be more of mine on there but honestly I do not have the energy to be monitoring the stupid site. I hate wattpad so much its unreal.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

As we have just learned from the above story, yes :D!!

But also yeah, some people asked permission to translate my stuff and post it with credit. Sunshine has been translated into Spanish and Ukrainian!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No I can barely manage to write them myself

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Undocumented Events of March 23rd. I might update it at some point in the next five years. But I had so many chapters planned that it will probably never reach the ending at the pace I'm going with it. But I love the jungle book husbands. I get back to them at some point in time

16. What are your writing strengths?

Word disease is the worst fucking thing ever but it CAN be a good thing in some circumstances. A huge meaty chunk of a fic. Something to dig into. Having a lot to say can lead to a lot to write. And the more you write, the more likely you'll get some quality stuff in there.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I repeat. Word disease is the worst fucking thing ever. And when it's coupled with a complexity addiction, UGGH!!! It's a blight on my life. I can't just write a simple straightforward fic, without getting carried away and the ideas just get bigger and bigger. Suddenly I'm implementing more elaborate concepts, scenes that need to be handled delicately. Everything takes absolutely all of my brainpower because I'm a neurotic overthinker who can never just RELAX and write something fun. And I WANT all of it. I want to execute all the plans that exist in my head but then I get overwhelmed by how big and complicated everything has gotten and I get burned out. Which is why things so rarely get done.

I'm a perfectionist. A horrible terrible one. I struggle to write ANYTHING without carefully constructing every individual line of it. Which makes progress so slow and tedious. I get scared to even START fics because I'm afraid I'll make myself feel awful again if they don't turn out good.

My grammar is very imperfect but I'm working on that.

I can be very unnecessarily wordy and take forever to get to the point. I've reread my own stuff and even I have difficulty following it because the sentences just have so many bells and whistles for no good reason. I completely forget a huge chunk of vocab and don't realize they are simpler way to phrase things.

My attempts at executing believable emotional scenes often fall kinda flat. Writing drama is hard but I'm amazed by some people's capability to master it so I'm chipping away at it, hoping to get better.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't really have any thoughts at all about them. Literally none.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I'd like to say it was Trolls but it was actually Hetalia when I was like 14. But I do everything within my power to distance myself from Hetalia, so I like to say it doesn't count. But....need to be honest.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Currently, at this point that I am at, the ones I used to be the most proud of now feel like they were a waste of time. I'm sure that will change again in a few months. How I feel about my own stuff is never consistent. The way that this question is phrased implies a forever favourite. Something I loved then, I love now and will love in future, and that is just never the case.

But also I don't wanna be an Eeyore about it, so I'll say a trance, a dance, a romance perchance?

I really do love my fairy Willow. She's so special to me :D!!

Tagging: after writing this whole post, I now feel very weird tagging people specifically and being like "HEY YOU! Look at this post I made <33" This is like a don't look at me post. BUT I do have lots of writer mutuals. And writer followers. If you're one of them and you see this....you!!!! Tag youre it!!!!

[frostyreturns]

Frosty Ruins "Hailey's On It (2023)"

The evidence for the idea that much of todays entertainment is being written by ai is starting to pile up. There's so many of these shitty generic soulless cartoons now. The older I get the more I realize the old advice not to judge based on appearance was total bullshit. I can look at this show within 5 seconds and know it's going to be bad because it looks cancerously poorly drawn. It looks cheap and generic, you know when you are scrolling through a streaming service and you scroll past all these shitty looking cartoons that all look exactly the same and look so unbelievably unappealing that you wonder if there's even a single person on the planet who saw it and decided to click on it…it's one of those. It's like someone went to one of those ai art things and said give me a terrible looking cheap netflix childrens cartoon with ethnically ambiguously brown characters and it shat out ten thousand examples and they turned every single one into a show.

Then they gave the writing ai the prompt, write me a generic sanitized for all audiences childrens cartoon but fill it with progressive politics and sexualization. Then they write a brief one dimensional description of each character input the premise of the show and bam writing is done. I'm making a joke about how bad it is but it's so bad in the exact way I'm describing that what I'm saying is also completely plausible. I feel like i've reviewed this show before at least 3 times it's just so generic and shitty in all the same ways as every other cartoon being made in the last couple years.

The jokes are so flat they almost don't even exist. The main character will be riding a bike and run into a bunch of stuff and go "oh you were telling me to avoid that stuff." Beyond that there are no jokes there's just out of place sarcasm. It's like they copied the form of humour but left out the joke...like there's a setup and a punchline but they don't go together or it will be punchline with no setup or context. Like Michael scott shouting that's what she said but without anyone saying anything that could be heard as being sexual.

The premise of the show is stupid it's that this girl makes a list of stuff she wants to do and by doing her list she saves the world, which she knows because a time traveller from the future where Serena Williams is president came back to tell her. Because we all know if brown girls just did what they wanted without anyone stopping them they would be able to do whatever they want and would save the world from climate change. At least when Rick from Rick and Morty can do almost anything it makes a little sense because he's spent his entire life inventing and learning how weird sci fi shit works Hailey is just a young girl who's magically a scientist action hero, mary sue to the max.

It's like if you took all the humour out of My Name is Earl added in all of the progressive horseshit, then took all the humour and sci fi philosophy out of rick and morty took out any comedic looking animation and combined them…then wrote out all the whites, straights and men. I didn't see a single white character and i think there was only the one guy.

This is a kids show with children there's no need for there to be any sexualization at all, there's stuff about two girls kissing and her first to do list item is to kiss her friend. Two kids kissing is not a huge deal but it's a little weird in the context, they have all these other characters pressuring her to do it including a little robot who explains the mechanics of kissing like they're introducing it to kids for the first time…it's just gross and it's weird that it was written into the show it seems so unnecesary. Like make out with your friend or the world is going to end…seems like the kind of weird excuse some manipulative predator would make up to convince a kid to go along with something sexual. At one point they go through one of those tunnel of love rides while a song urges them to "kiss their friends, just do it don't be shy" and of course all the heart symbols along the ride are the pedo small heart within a larger heart symbol.

Awful, absolutely no redeeming qualities, don't let your kids watch it. Other than my ai argument I can't see how something like this keeps getting made.

[autumn-foxfire]

Dabi's incredible constant snark and apathy to contrast the League's more action oriented personalities Vs Hawks' incredible ability to piss off anyone he meets in 2 seconds, from AFO to Endeavor + Dabi's fierce tenacity to survive 8 years past his one month left to live, a strong heart, Vs Hawks' lucky natural birth and resilience to survive all the shit up to now, a strong mind. Their constant cat-and-mouse game and hiding their true selves, both geniuses in their own right. DabiHawks is too powerful a relationship. We still don't know whose going to get the last laugh in their Divorce Arc Part 2: or is it part 3? It was an actual line by Dabi too, I sure hope they get Toga and the Twice clones on their side, best middle finger to Dabi ever. Also Dabi's photographic memory to memorize every move he sees on sight and copy it to perfection Vs Hawks' yeah I'm not listing every freaking thing he memorized about PLF in a month, too fucking many- Touya's dying optimism Vs...Keigo, who gained it. The tension of Hawks holding a blade to Dabi's throat and Dabi casually throwing an arm around his shoulder and them always smiling and acting jolly with each other when inside they're probably thinking "ugh I really hate this guy" but just keep smiling :) :) :) Pls, I love them. There's an endless list of parallels to find in them and even similar energy. I keep going back to the basic ones but that's because it's too much effort to dig through the manga to verify things. And about that! We really wrote Hawks always snuggling up to Dabi who was annoyed by his advances, but it's the other way around (like it always is, we're always switching them up) because Ultra Impact recently got a DabiHawks event and there is SO MUCH there I haven't caught up on yet, but at one point Hawks is injured from a fight and Dabi is a naughty cat choosing this time to cozy up to him, "No fatalities, good work Hawks. The No.2 hero really is different from all the others" and Hawks is all "ow...I'm hurt, don't pat me like that" 😒 ("Come on, this is just my way of sayin' good work, you definitely earned some trust this way.") LMAO DABI ARE YOU SURE?! Can't win with this man. It's what he wasn't impressed by during High-End, but if Hawks let them die he'd just put it in his expose video. Hawks is all "well then it was all worth the effort" the effort being that this pigeon used his body to deflect bombs and everyone at PLF is worried about him while Dabi is just 😏 Really reading like a League Found Family + Hawks fic. And there's this one scene where Dabi wants to ditch a PLF meeting because Geten keeps nagging him about skipping them in the first place so he's all "Tch...Ah, Twice. Can you make a clone for me? Then I can skip it." So then Dabi clone is all, "Fine. Sure thing...did you really think I would say that?" Because who can tick off Dabi other than another Dabi? Get teased back you loser. So now original Dabi is instantly triggered because he can dish out sass but can't take it, especially not from himself, he WILL fist-fight himself in a Denny's parking lot if he has to. "Huh? Fine, then I'll make you go. Ice guy, No.2 lend me a hand." Lmaoooo why are you recruiting help? You can handle a single clone, man. Another scene: Geten: I'm not waiting. You shouldn't need a replacement in the first place. Hawks: Haha...sorry to say, but I agree with him there. Dabi: Like I said? You did it this time, Hawks. Hawks: Now now, you can't expect your subordinates to follow your commands if you act out in front of them, commander. Dabi: Tch...I'll remember this, hero. Hawks: Haha. It is my job to maintain public safety. Oh, Hawks. You don't realize the kind of grudges Touya can hold 😔

Also...Hawks insincerely-sincerely calling Dabi "commander" and Dabi nonchalantly calling Shigaraki "boss" hmmm what is the reason. I think the one mystery I can't solve is how Touya's personality turned into Dabi. No matter how much I look, nothing about Dabi matches Touya except for when he's being manic, which they got rid of in the episode! Instead he's walking all calmly down the stairs, while in Hori's sketch he was a hyperactive cat running and leaping "Shigaraki must've woken up!" >:D literally looking like he got the zoomies at 4am, a caption saying "Dabi running down the stairs" easier than running up for you, eh? *leaps over with one hand over the railing* "Just a sec, Machia." *eerily looms over Skeptic and grips him like a ragdoll, like those cursed emoji memes that try to grab you but more forceful and dynamic* "From the day we met, I knew you'd be perfect for this." How long exactly, was Dabi planning this, what was the image of his reveal in mind that made him go, "you're perfect for me!" when he joined the League, what could they offer him? Is that why he was so apathetic, but suddenly when the League gained power and new allies, he's suddenly interested? In October, right after Kamino + Overhaul that he was absent for except revenge arc because he can't resist a good revenge and murder opportunity to spread his name. (It did, Snatch. Confirmed it for him too that he was making the news.) right so October, that was the only time he was mildly interested...in still his own agenda, because he was recruiting Hawks atm and told Shigaraki that he only looks out for himself and has no interest in going out in a blaze of glory alongside him. Dabi, hey Dabi, WHAT CHANGED?!?!?!

Yum, Dabihawks parallels. Gotta love them and how many of them there are XD

LMAO, I didn't notice that we also switch the flirty behaviour in fanon but you're goddamn right. Hawks is the pissed off cat sassing back while Dabi is the flirty/flighty cat having fun messing with this new stray to wander into his domain. It's probably why I find fics to be a bit disappointing because I miss this behaviour in Dabi.

I am disappointed with the changes the anime made with Dabi in the latest season too. Describing Dabi as a cat with zoomies is accurate and it's a shame they cut that T-T I think they lessened on his manic behaviour to make him come across more "cool" and "suave" but it also takes away from Dabi...

[flesh-and-silk]

Everyday is just another caracterizarea personajului principal din opera literară ... and I'm tired of it tbh

[thetaoofbetty]

how much optimism do you have for bh endgame? the only thing making me somewhat unsettled is that i'm seeing all these ba stans talking about how at the end of the episode, jughead couldve written a happy ending with betty but instead wrote one with tabitha (?) is that really what happened? -someone who didn't bother to watch the episode

i don't really feel like i have to consider myself optimistic when i think bughead and varchie ending up together is the story they're telling tbh. like, i don't think it's not? i never have? i think people expect something because they want it and then get upset when it doesn't happen on their timetable tbh.

also, i'm not going to tell you not to read the b/as stuff because people do what they do but i will tell you that i have had to restrain myself from calling people stupid the last few days over the episode. not even just because i think they're wrong but because the episode holds your hand and explains itself; visually and textually to the point of offering you heavy handed exposition as dialogue.

an overly wordy episode summary and other nonsense below the cut👇

let me say that i get that people are looking for all kinds of opinions but i think anything offscreen needs to be taken with salt. lots of it. this show's promo is predictable and misleading at best. also, just because i don't shit on alex every time people bring him up to me doesn't mean i don't think he's so very bad at his interpretations. maybe some people are new here but he thought bughead was done in s2 too. and thought they'd end in s3. and also thought jughead was the gargoyle king. that's not including saying jughead was a dirtbag ladies man for s5 and it was jughead being dumped and getting rolled by a coed. you'll have to excuse me if i don't take him seriously.

and for sure, roberto essentially admitting that they did a 180 for the event is annoying because they were clearly setting up one narrative and then flipped which is bad writing but i get why they'd do that if they were dead set on doing the event the way they did. but basically flipping the pairings to do a horror event and then saying they need to "play out" in riverdale would not make me confident about them at all, tbh. but the b/as are not nothing if not confident. usually wrong. but confident.

(examples: b/a dating during the time jump, after the time jump, love confession after fwb, working together on the tbk, betty confiding in archie about the tbk, b/a baby, rain kiss, engagement by 5x19)

y'all, the b/as got nothing for years and still act like they do, if anything i have no idea why the bughead and varchies aren't serving them back that same energy. in an episode with betty and archie's wedding, in ended with bughead on a bed. be as petty as roberto was there, my guys.

i do think this episode needs to be watched to really get a good grasp of what they're doing with it, tbh. we saw from that article that leaked how badly just reading a summary of things doesn't show any cues, context, or nuance of any kind.

(even the archie stuff comes together on a second viewing i think. archie winks at jughead when jughead sees young archie from riverdale talking to grundy, he's the one to talk to jughead in the lounge when he's spacing in and out, he tells jughead it was just a dream when betty brings up the dream about a bomb, etc)

when he talks to dilton, he says the explosion of the bomb created rivervale, right? and dilton says that parallel universes are a copy or mirror of each other but we know that's not true for rivervale since things are the same but different but not opposite either. which i guess makes it a pocket universe.

if the universes are tied together at the point of creation, that's the point where they have to be separated, according to ethel.

(i think it's hilarious, tho, how heavy handed jughead was about re-creating the explosion. definitely not subtle at all in roberto getting them to a point where the bughead stuff pretty much has to happen for jughead's theory even tho there's no science, magic, or creation involved like he said about the first explosion)

(also can i say that so many people proved this week they do not understand the definition of words. mainly counterpart???)

ethel calls their rivervale selves aberrations, which is also hilarious considering how much shit we had to hear for weeks about how ammmmaaazzzzzinnnnnnggg the b/a and j/t stuff was going to be in rivervale because roberto said it was canon, don'tcha know?

but also, jughead saying, "is it possible to be nostalgic for a life you're not even sure is yours?" is definitely 👀 worthy. i wonder what he could be so nostalgic for? he's still friends with betty, archie, and veronica in rivervale, right? he's not nostalgic for a relationship he's already in that didn't exist until he was 25-26. i wonder what, like, over 80 of those comics was actually about then? 🤔

(archie saying that his dad would never miss his wedding, especially to betty, has me like...is that why archie won't let go of betty in riverdale? i actually think that's an argument that could be made after the way 4x18-19 went down after 4x17 tbh. all of archie's motivations for the longest time have been tied to his dad's memory)

okay this got away from me but the opposite of destruction, according to the jugheads (pour one out for narrator jughead), is creation. so writer jughead goes to the bunker and they show him starting to write the story from the point of jughead and betty starting the bomb countdown.

like, i know they think they're being clever by saying ohhh he could have written bughead a happy ending but the episode was extremely heavy handed in both saying that jughead thinks archie and betty are in love and that the bomb is the point of rivervale's creation.

(which, riverdale jughead has always been insecure about archie, like, since the start, why would 'vale jug, who admitted he didn't want really even go to the wedding be any different?)

jughead writes the story from the moment of them waiting for the bomb, he doesn't alter the entire history of that story. he continues it. he follows the story being told to the end with the history that came before it (which, to be fair, the tangs/choni stuff is weird because it switched throughout the episode? that seems to have been changed after the start? an anomaly?) and created a time loop. rivervale was always going to be rivervale because rivervale is always going to be rivervale.

they're probably just mad because even they can't escape the fact that jughead wrote someone calling betty to warn her about the bomb, which still happens at the point of the bomb in the story, (i know there's spec on who, if it was him or dilton, etc. i don't know who it is) and that pretty much means that writer jughead let riverdale jughead get hurt in order to make that call to her. but i'm sure none of those implications means anything for riverdale. right?

we don't know what that means for riverdale narratively yet, tbh. i fully expect to hear selective takes and willfully misinterpreted...everything for the next 3 months. like, i've already seen people argue the whole love triangle speculation because of the promo (where betty is sitting between archie and jughead) while those same people said b/archie endgame because of the still for 5x19 where betty and archie sat on the same side of the table. like, if they're so confident, why does bughead speculation bother them so much? if they didn't constantly tell me what their own spec was, i don't think i'd have much of a clue what they're talking about at any given point.

(or are they pretending to still like jughead? i mean, they should be mad he kissed betty while with tabitha right? or is that only reserved for parts of this fandom when it applies to betty?)

sigh, this was a long way to say that i think listening to people who probably skipped the bughead parts, are being willfully obtuse, and have made bad faith arguments for years is a waste of time. the episode explains itself pretty well.

i think the biggest question is, if writer jughead changed something in riverdale, what else did he change and how will that effect the rest of the season?

[kurna-kovite]

The debate on the MBTI of South Park character Tweek Tweak

This is a VERY long, very useless essay I have constructed about Tweek's MBTI type.

I have created this because of discussion on the personality database site.

Right now, the consensus is that Tweek is an ENFP, and I agree with this. However, I see a lot of arguments popping up about Tweek being an ISFJ stuck in a Ne grip. Because I care WAY too much about internet points, I researched and wrote an argument in an effort to convince people of Tweek being an ENFP.

Of course, that's not how internet arguments work, and I'm going crazy that I've put a lot of time into this useless thing that not a lot of people will actually read. So, I'm posting it here, lol. Sure hope it's not full of misinformation that will make me look like a fool.

Here we go.

I may not have been into MBTI for years, but I did a lot of reading to prepare for these arguments, and everything I've learned from arguments here and things online have been super interesting. 

So, the general consensus is that inferior grips come into play when under a lot of stress. That makes sense, but why do these grips come into play during these intense situations? To put it simply, it's like they're meant to be a coping mechanism. 

The reason I say it implies that you've exhausted your dominant functions, is because that's also the general consensus on what I've read up on. Very high stress situations may cause you to depend on those functions too much, effectively burning them out. That, or those functions just aren't working for the situation they're in, and won't give a good solution, which may stress you out even more. Thus, the inferior function grips because it's attempting to give those other functions a 'break', in an attempt to 'save the day', if you will. It's trying to be the backup when things aren't going right at all. 

It's why there are recommendations for what to do when you're in a grip. Step back, meditate or something, just take the time to 'recharge' I suppose so you can think clearly, and fall back to your natural functions. 

That's also the reason I disagree with it being a Ne grip. It should be taken into account that Tweek is in extraordinary circumstances; he's faced with this extreme amount of stress every-day, and we've never seen him out of this stress cycle. I haven't seen a moment of clarity where Tweek is significantly less stressed and therefore not reliant on a grip anymore. So this begs the question, is it a grip, or is that just how he is? 

Another thing about the idea of a grip, is that it comes with more stress than usual. But assuming that Tweek is under this type of stress everyday because of the fact that he lives in South Park, then… At what point does this kind of stress become the usual? 

Basically, what looks like lots of stress to us, is pretty normal for Tweek. I think that stress has become normalized to the point that we can assume that a grip would not be needed anymore, because these are things he experiences everyday. 

Going back to my argument with Put It Down, I think that episode shows us the distinction between everyday stress for Tweek, and a tremendous amount of stress. Tweek's everyday stress stems from his anxiety, but it's mostly stress about the things that could happen. However, in Put It Down, we see Tweek dealing with things that are happening to him. This isn't some ridiculous meltdown Tweek is having; North Korea sent a missile over his house 😭 I would say that this is so much more stressful than how he acts in the rest of the series. 

So this is why I argue that Tweek is an ENFP who had a Si-grip during the Put It Down episode, because Tweek got pretty narrow-minded and hopeless during the thing, to the point where he could only see the possibility of… North Korea bombing the shit out of him lmao. I went over the evidence for the si-grip in the last argument, but I can copy paste here in the event that someone didn't read that last argument. 

"ENFP's stuck in a Si-grip may be 'unable to see any possibilities or hope for the future, ' and 'Worry about whether or not they are healthy or at physical risk. They may feel paralyzed and unable to communicate clearly, as their thinking becomes cloudy and convoluted. They may feel overwhelmed, out of control, unable to sort out their priorities, and inflexible. 

'They also may be attracted to stuff that provides security and familiarity. ' "

"Tweek is constantly paranoid about his well-being. I don't see him being all that worried about his health in particular, just about whether or not something's going to get him. It also explains why Tweek is struggling so much in an episode like Put It Down; his thinking is all scrambled, and he can't sort anything out despite there being so many things happening around him. Craig trying to offer him solutions only makes it worse, because he is unable to sort them out and mull over it. He can't consider the possibilities anymore. 

Assuming he's in a Si-grip during this episode, then it also states he may feel 'paralyzed and unable to communicate clearly', which is why Tweek wasnt able to tell Craig what he needed. He couldn't quite see through his cloudy thoughts to know what he needed, which led to the communication problems that we saw. "

" 'ENFP's, when under a lot of stress, may see so many possibilities that get only get MORE stressed out, and start feeling alienated or lost. If they can't find a way to manage the stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function. '

It explains the way Tweek rants to Craig at the end of the episode. We saw Tweek trying through possible solutions at the beginning, but it just wasn't able to work out for him. So when he finally gets to process his emotions at the end, he explains that, 

'I feel scared! I feel alone! '

'That must be horrible! It must be hard to even think! '

'It is! It's terrible! '

'I bet it is! What else are you feeling? '

'Like I have no control over my life. Like I'm just a pawn in a big game! '

'Oh, that's a terrifying thought. You must feel trapped! '

'Yeah! Like trapped, but, completely unable to even move! '

Just in this one scene, we see so many symptoms of a Si-grip. Alienated, lost, overwhelmed, paralyzed, out of control. It makes much more sense to me, that any Si traits he has, only shows up in a form like this. "

That argument also explained that everyday stress, which I think is what Tweek is experiencing, typically makes ENFP's more ENFP like. I think, combined with his unhealthy anxiety and paranoia, this could easily be mistaken for a Ne grip. But in my eyes, I haven't seen enough evidence of a Si-dom to make that true. 

Now, I understand that MBTI's aren't exactly black and white, and don't necessarily adhere to the stereotypes, but this also makes the argument for a Si-dom make less sense to me. If our dominant functions are the ones we fall so naturally to, why don't we see solid moments of him using his dominant functions? 

The arguments for it seem pretty weak to me. Si-doms have the ability to consider new possibilities with time, but Tweek doesn't take a whole lot of time to consider possibilities. He took less than a minute to accept the possibility, so it doesn't quite make sense to me that this is the usual way an ISFJ will react, since it just happens so… Fast. Not to mention the idea that `anybody can accept new possibilities " isn't a very strong argument to me, either. Sure, I suppose anybody can accept new possibilities, but the point is that ENFPs are more prone to it. 

I'll go back to Tweek being visited by the "Ghost of Human Kindness". Tweek didn't need to take any time to mull over it to accept the idea that maybe it was possible to become more trusting in people. He was pretty open to the idea, of course, until it was immediately shot down because… That's just how things go for Tweek 💀 That's why I think these possibility points match ENFP better. When it comes down to it, one of the differences between ISFJ and ENFP is the acceptance of possibilities. Just because ISFJ can accept them, doesn't really show me that it proves the argument for ISFJ more than it does for ENFP, if that makes any sense. 

Another thing. Something everyone seems to be forgetting to take into consideration, is that Tweek is on drugs. Like, all the time. It's in his name. Of course, drugs would affect his cognitive functions to some degree, wouldn't they? 

I haven't seen much theory on how something like meth would affect cognitive functions in this setting, so I suppose I'm making my own theory. But this meth and caffeine addiction is probably the stark cause of his anxiety and paranoia. 

I think inferring that he is misusing his Ne function because he is stuck in a grip, implies that Tweek would also be able to fix all of that by just learning to use his Ne function properly. Instead, I think that the only reason he is unable to use his Ne function in a healthy, ENFP way, is because of outside causes. Of course being high on meth would make Tweek anxious and paranoid, it's a drug side effect, and the fact that Tweek's dominant trait is the one that combs through possibilities only exacerbates this issue. Not to mention, his parents only fuel his unhealthy worries, like in the same 'Child Abduction is Not Funny' episode where Richard taught Tweek never to answer the door for anyone, or he'd die.

 It's an unhealthy external factor that Tweek can't fix by learning to use an inferior Ne function properly. 

If you take away the meth addiction, and his awful parents, and the fact that he lives in South Park, then I'd be more inclined to believe that it's his own use of the Ne function that's giving him this awful anxiety, and therefore implies that it's his undeveloped inferior function that's in control. But I'd argue that Tweek is a victim of circumstance, and that if you DID take away the meth, parents, and town, all you'd have left is a normal ENFP kid. Of course, it’s not, and never will be that simple. But I don’t think that being an ENFP, and having anxiety are NOT mutually exclusive.

Now, for the argument on Fe vs. Fi. As far as I know, the Fe vs. Fi argument is about how he makes his decisions. Fe's make their decisions based on how they think the repercussions will affect other people, and Fi's make their decisions based on their inner feelings and ideals. It has nothing to do with his need for Craig's reassurance. 

Tweek and Kyle was just used as a comparison in another comment, because Kyle is a Fe user, but I find this to be a good way to look at why they’re different. Kyle was trying to get Stan's approval for his actions, which is a very clear usage of Fe to me, and it also sounded like Kyle was trying to convince himself. But I don't see Tweek trying to defend his own actions in an effort to get Craig to tell him his actions were morally okay actions, as much as I only see Tweek trying to either get reassurance that Craig still likes him, or that Tweek is going to be okay. 

That's why I'm still firm on my argument for his actions during FBW. He was never trying to get Craig to tell him that his actions were okay, he was just trying to get Craig to see his point of view. It's less that Tweek is trying to get external validation for the actions that he does, and more that Tweek just needs external validation for who he is. Since Fi people tend to be hyper-aware of how they think other people see them, this makes sense to me that he needs a bit of a self confidence boost more than he needs reassurance in his decision making. 

Tweek did not weigh the possible repercussions of him walking out on Coon and Friends, but he instead made his decisions based on what he felt and what he thought was right. In contrast to Kyle in the Crack Baby Association episode, Tweek was not defending his actions and trying to get Craig to tell him that he did the right thing. He made his decision, and stood beside it. 

A good point is raised about Tweek's actions with the main four. He quickly abandons his moral code when they thought they killed their teacher. My argument for this, again, was that his anxiety overpowers his use of his Fi functions, given that his anxiety and paranoia are separate from his MBTI functions. 

"It may take a long time to mull over their own beliefs to make sure they seem right. " If I had to argue, I'd say Tweek hasn't solidified his values yet. Heck, I don't think he's even had a chance to think about it, since he's so stressed with every other aspect in his life. And even if his values told him that he shouldn't be participating in it, I think his anxiety outweighs his desire to stick true to his values.

 I think his anxiety and cognitive functions are sort of separate, so anxiety does not define those functions, and the functions do not define his anxiety. So I believe that his paranoia will lead him to ignore his values because he's terrified of these other possibilities, but if you took away that anxiety and paranoia, then I think he'd be much more prone to having a strong moral code, or having the Fi function. 

Going back to having Kyle as a comparison, throughout the series, we see him end episodes with 'I learned something today', where he comes to a conclusion usually in an attempt to reconcile whatever conflict is going on. Similar to FBW, when Kyle learned that Timmy was trying to include all the superheroes, he quickly backtracked and apologized, trying to quickly resolve that conflict once he realized it was a bad thing. 

I'm also not saying Fe users have to be all good and all knowing. We regularly see Kyle abandon his morality and values, typically in an effort to get back at Cartman. He will stoop down to his level if it means he gets revenge, and while sometimes this means he gets the good, resolved outcome, it still means he put solving conflict over his own moral integrity. The evidence I can think of off the top of my head is the infamous "Why would you say horrible shit about gay people? " line that Craig asked Kyle. Can't remember the episode, but that's one example.

Because Fi and Fe are about how someone makes a decision, it's important to see Tweeks decision making process. The reason I still think he's Fi despite his other actions is because his first, immediate decisions do seem to be based on what he believes is right, and wrong. He didn't want to kill his teacher. He, at first, firmly decided that he wasn't going to be a part of the main four anymore because they thought they killed their teacher. The only reason this decision changed, is because the others quickly take advantage of his anxiety and paranoia, whether they realize it or not. By telling Tweek that he's going to be responsible, and that he might have to take the fall on it, Tweek's anxiety is kicked into overdrive, and overpowers his desire to make decisions based on his values. 

The argument on Fe vs. Fi is based on how they make their decisions, whether they consider the feelings of other people when making decisions, or whether they consider their own values and feelings when making a decision. Tweek considering other people's feelings outside of decision making doesn't necessarily make him a Fe, and I believe it's his anxiety that makes him ignore his values. 

Another example is, of course, when Tweek has the rocket launcher. He threatens to blow up the prints, unless he gets his friends back(except for Cartman). The reason I think this supports him being Fi is because Tweek isn't considering how the world will react and feel if they see Spielberg's premiere, but he's more concerned about whether he gets his friends back alive. He made a decision based on where his values lay, which was among his friends as opposed to saving the world from seeing this awful premiere. 

Now, going to extraversion vs. introversion… 

I did some more reading to see the comparisons. I might still be totally off-base here, but in my defense, I'm not finding an explicit difference anywhere. 

So I'm still convinced of the extroversion. He's had a history of coming to other people with his issues, and traits of extraversion are having an easier time figuring out their problems when they get to talk out loud and hear other people's input. He goes to his parents, and he goes to Craig. 

Tweek also typically directs his energy outwards, to focus on other people and things and situations, rather than internal thoughts and ideas. 

Tweek goes to Craig with his issues because he fits into the extraversion trait of needing to talk out his problems and receive outside input in order to figure it out. He does this with his parents, too, although his parents are much less helpful. 

I don't think extraversion vs introversion is about how many people he talks about his issues with. It seems to me that it's about where he directs and receives his energy from. 

Okay. Moving onto Te vs. Ti. 

So, research tells me that, "The Tertiary function can guide you toward areas of life you have avoided, areas that require skills you do not feel comfortable using. "

It also may not develop until later in life, so I'd dare say that's why I claim we don't see it being used much in the series. I don't recall seeing it being used in a more dominant function. 

Now, even though it may not fully develop/mature until adulthood, it still will show itself somehow in early life. "For ENFP's, it may affect them by making it difficult for them to be organized and follow through on projects. They may be forgetful, miss steps, or start and leave tasks unfinished. They can also struggle with maintaining objective logic and may have a hard time balancing their eagerness to pursue new possibilities with a logical mindset. "

I think this fits Tweek pretty well. We see him acting pretty disorganized, and we see that he struggled to completely follow through on his 'making hats' project for the Free Hat episode. I also see him consistently struggle to keep an objective logic when he's incredibly anxious. It may seem contradictory that it is described as an 'eagerness to pressure new possibilities', but I think it still matches how Tweek is always so quick to jump to anxious possibilities. This seems unhealthy, but again, I think of it less as signifying a Ne grip, and more as seeing it as his meth addiction/anxiety/paranoia taking and using his dominant functions for the wrong things. 

Te is supposed to consider the objectivity of the facts and details, but given that I believe it to be a supportive function, it means we shouldn't see it being predominantly used, and we don't, as far as I know. Tweek still doesn't look at things objectively, and even hates it when Craig gives him the objective facts. The Te tertiary function is supposed to aid an ENFP by helping them see the logic in the possibilities they think of, but because the tertiary function does not typically fully develop and mature until later, added to the fact that Tweek's unfortunate circumstances make him misuse his Ne-dom functions, we don't see that objective, logical thinking anywhere in him for the most part. That's why I see it as fitting for a tertiary function. 

This is a more solid document of the argument I have for ENFP Tweek, with most of it being developed after having some other people give some of their ISFJ arguments. Overall, it’s a super interesting argument, and I’ve learned a lot from it, but I do hope some of my arguments are convincing :)

[fleshengine]

k I'm back from eating a sandwich (ham and cheese with mayo, mustard, and hotsauce if you care) and you're still being annoying.

First paragraph: Listen to Plaidos, the woman you're apparently spam messaging, read the stuff she wrote. If you really want links I could comb through the stuff she's posted today for you, but honestly I'm not inclined because I don't like to do favors for people who hate me and/or won't appreciate them.

Second paragraph: There's very little difference in the words themselves, they follow the same structure of [pronoun used by intended target][last three letters of intended target's coercively assigned birth gender acronym]. The biggest difference, at least in construction, is that theyfab includes an "ay" sound in the middle, so the acronym is effectively completed when read. Shemab however, fails in this aspect. "emab" isn't an acronym for anything and thus the insult has less of a "kick" to it so to speak, it doesn't roll of the tongue. I think this is where I got the idea that it sounds like a playground insult, it follows the form of the thing it's copying from without half the impact. "Shemale" is infinitely superior to "shemab" in this way. It follows a similar structure, but keeps that insulting kick to it as a play on the word female. It effectively addresses the intented target, mocks her female identity, and calls her a male all in one.

As for their use, shemale has a far greater and more complicated history than you or I want to get into right now. From what I understand (mostly from Plaidos' posts, go read them) the intended use of theyfab is for punching up at a specific subtype of nonbinary person who leverages their afab status in order to perpetrate transmisogynistic violence. It's the equivalent of cracker, an essentially meaningless word thrown at people who are being shitty. (For the record, I do not give a shit about cracker, my black friends call me it as a joke when I say things like "golly"). Shemab is (as far as I can tell) just you trying to come up with a word that sounds insulting for trans women, and it doesn't even do that well. If you want to insult us, call us shemales, I personally do not give a shit what you call me.

tags: "people like you are why I'd rather die than come out" I am so so sorry, genuinely sorry that you feel that way. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you that you'll be okay. I've helped multiple people come to terms with being trans and subsequently come out, and it genuinely tears me up knowing that I might've pushed someone into the closet further. "Because then I'd be associated with your weird ass amab people don't have privilege shit" I never said that. Amab people have privilege yeah, but we start to lose that as soon as we start transitioning. I've been misogynistically disrespected, looked down on, and mansplained to in the *counts on fingers* seven years I've been out. It's funny at first, and oddly gender affirming, but I get sick of it. I don't pass as male anymore, I have the tacest amount of male privilege left and if I could scrub it from my hands I would. "I'd rather be a femme faggot at that point than deal with whatever the fuck estrogen does to your brain" Okay I don't know your agab, but I did assume you were afab given the things you've been saying. If that's the case, guess what? Estrogen is in your brain too! If you're amab, girl what are you doing? Also I'd like to take a moment to say that this last (text) tag is really transmisogynistic. You're implying that estrogen, at least when used by transfems makes us dumber and that's really shitty of you. You're not winning any points on the moral grounds.

Also for the record, I don't use the term theyfab. I don't really have a reason to, that's why I don't super have a horse in this race. I know plenty of transmasc enbies irl and they're all great people, I fucken live with one of them and they're one of the greatest things to ever happen to me.

I’d love to see an original thought out of @gay-achilles as it stands all they really do is parrot what women say back to them and throw playground-level insults. There’s a fervor to the way they write that makes me think they’ve gotten carried away with it. Either way, I like to try to understand people who disagree with me but the only real thought I get from them is “I hate trans women” and that’s not productive.

[thessalian]

Thess vs 'The Novel'

So I was drifting through the headlines my phone suggests for me, and one caught my eye, from the Financial Times. Now, while I didn't read the article (mostly because I'm pretty sure the FT is paywalled all to fuck), the headline by itself was enough to throw me into one of those rants that my friends mostly love to watch from minimum safe distance because apparently I am very eloquent and kind of amusing when I'm passionate about something but no one wants to be in splash radius of my rage.

The title went thus:

"Are video games coming for the novel?"

.........

Short answer: no.

Long answer: noooooooooooooooooooooo.

Detailed answer: THEY ARE TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT MEDIA, YOU INSUFFERABLE STRING BEAN!

First of all ... novels and video games fit into entirely different niches in a person's life. You are probably not going to be playing Baldur's Gate 3 while waiting for your bus. You are not going to do a private livestream of whatever the current Super Mario game is as a bedtime story for your children.

And some people? Just can't play video games. A book is accessible to everyone - with braille or large-print books, with audiobooks or text-readers... Hell, with ebooks so you don't have to hold up a heavy-ass book and turn pages. There are days I hurt too badly to put hands to mouse and keyboard to play a game but I can hold my Kindle with the right support. And a book doesn't require you to have a certain skill level before you can get to the end of the story. When I pick up my copy of the latest Toby Daye novel, it doesn't ask me to do a little jig before I can turn to the next page.

Hell, sometimes we don't have time to play a video game where we do have time to read a book. Some games have a lack of save points as a point of pride, whereas a book will always be there to pick up ... and frankly to open wherever you want, whenever you want, at whatever stage you want. I can't skip the entire Lothering section of DA2 and move straight to Kirkwall, but I can skip Alex Price flashbacks about seeing his first couatl.

Not to mention, you get more variety in novels. While there's a lot of shovelware kicking around Steam, there are a couple of centuries of books out there; more all the time. And y'know what else? The person that wrote those novels? They almost certainly cared more about the story than a lot of AAA game company execs will let their writers care about the story sort of haphazardly stapling The Next Big Blockbuster Game together.

(Okay, sometimes that's a bad thing - looking at you, Stephenie Meyer, and yes I read each and every one of those novels and if that's your thing then gods bless but holy fuck if I had to look at the passive voice one more time I was going to scream - but still. Passion for the craft.)

I'm not shitting on video game writers, by the way. Some of them do great work. Hell, I've heard more inspiring lines from video game characters than I have from just about any politician in the last ten years. Just ... sometimes you want all the words. That's the problem here - the devaluation of just words. Writers can give you a full sensory experience with nothing more than ink on paper and ... I guess they probably use laser printers now, when they're not ebooks. Sometimes we just want that.

I think the problem is that frankly, books don't get enough press. People don't go berserk for books the way they do for video games or TV shows. Hell, if a book doesn't spawn a movie, TV series or, frankly, a video game (looking at you, Witcher - YES there was also the Netflix series but it was novel series, then video game, then Netflix series), most people aren't very vocal about their interest. And it's not like publishers are doing anything like a decent job of promoting their authors - not unless said authors are already verified money-makers. Which ... the way they're going, the only reason they have any new verified money-makers is sheer dumb luck.

I swear to the gods, people make up these stupid clickbaity headlines and ... I mean, it's the Financial Times. They look at "Video Games = Story + Shiny Pictures + All The Marketing" and "Novels = We Hear Nothing About this" and don't think about the dozen or so people they saw looking at a book, an e-reader or their phone (which is at least sometimes an e-reader app) on the daily commute, in the break room, at the local Starbucks... Nobody wants to have the ability to experience all aspects of their fictional escapism restricted to a medium that's entirely dependent on a certain skill set.

Dear Financial Times: do not come for "the novel" just because they don't generate the same buzz as video games do. Actually think for five seconds about what you're saying here. The format may change; one day we may in danger of losing dead-tree press the same way we did the floppy disc. But the craft of telling stories with written words alone? That can't be replaced with "Press X To Not Die".

[flavia-draws]

Why Painting Lime-Green Bushes At 3:00 In The Morning Was An Epic Prank On Elaine

Just over one year ago, my D&D group celebrated our first anniversary. For that celebration, I painted pictures of everybody's characters, plus a portrait of the DM so he wouldn't feel left out. So when the anniversary rolled around again, I opted for a similar project, this time putting the whole party in one picture, a year older and with two new adventurers. Oh, and one fewer, too. Elaine rarely played, so I chose not to include her in the painting.

The picture, from sketch to triumphant completion while listening to The Age Of Plastic, took around a week. After finishing the last black background strokes, I lifted it up and stared at it. Empty space. Howe do I fill these empty spaces, I wondered. A painting on the wall! A meta-painting. Hang on. Shut up. Shut up for a second, I told "Kid Dynamo," and began to think.

Elaine's character. Call her Rogue. I'll paint her in a picture on the wall! I thought. She was a chaotic, cannibalistic instigator-type half-elf rogue. Imagine the juxtaposition. A pastoral setting. Or...wait. Wait wait wait. Shit. I had an idea. After some deliberation, I printed out a reference picture and did what any sane prog fan would do.

I painted her on the Selling England By The Pound bench.

-----

Elaine's going to kill me. Almost giggling in delight, and already planning the story I'd get to tell my mutuals the next day, I set to the task of mixing the right colors. Which I fucked up immensely, but got them recognizably close at least. Of course, it's one thing when paint is sitting in front of you on a palette, another thing when it's in the picture next to all the other colors, and certainly another thing when it's next to the album cover you're trying to copy. While listening to--what else?--Selling England By The Pound, I painted the painting as carefully as I could.

When I was done, it didn't look much like the album cover because the colors were weird, but I figured it would still be recognizable.

-----

The big day came. Cliff, another member of the D&D group, LOVES Selling England By The Pound. I expected no one but him to get the joke. Least of all Elaine, which of course was the point. Reading what I just wrote, it seems like I'm hinting that Elaine got it, but that's not what happened.

Normal Wednesday. I arrived at D&D, argued with Elaine over whether Phil Collins' voice is annoying, failed to get her into the Buggles, and then we played. She did not play.

We stopped in the middle to celebrate the anniversary. The DM had made gifts for the whole group, but I shared my painting first. Throughout the game, it had been placed in my sketchbook so no one would see it. Carefully, I took it out. Held it up.

"There's Rogue, in the painting, see?" I pointed out, directing my words towards Cliff a bit more than I normally would have. "She's both in it and not in it, because Elaine both plays and doesn't play." He looked at it, and then at me. Did we share a look of acknowledgement, prog fan to prog fan, or was it my imagination?

[stars-in-a-jam-jar]

I realized while I was doing my taxes last night that Horikoshi really wanted Midoriya to be like. So super smart you guys. It's like. A partial inversion of the usual 'Pure of heart, dumb of ass' shonen protag archetype, like. He's pure of heart.... AND super smart! Like that's so super cool you guys! And that is a fun thing to add to the genre. However Horikoshi did not account for one crucial detail: You can't shortcut how smart a character is forever.

When we meet Izuku, we're speedrunning the finer details of his character just like we're speedrunning Everything Else in My Hero Academia. The shortcut to signal that Izuku is smart is to say 'He fills entire notebooks with notes about heroes and chases down fights just to break them down and analyze them, and he has some of the highest grades in his class' and that fit with the breakneck pace everything was going at and was enough for the first like. Two and a half arcs about. But every time there's an opportunity for Izuku to problem solve using his brain, the solutions are never particularly complex and require One (1) step of thought. New power break he gotdamn bones? Pick the smallest bones to break until we can reach a better solution. Oh wait I can channel the literal bone shattering power partially??? Fr???? AND I can use my legs????? Wild, I was just copying what my dad was doing. Cornered in an alley with a deranged murder-man? Uhhh, send my location to Literally Every Classmate and stall until someone who can better handle this arrives. Alone trying to defend a child and about to be crushed to death? Uhhhhhhh, no thoughts, only that limit break thing humans are capable of when shit gets Dire. Classmates wanna launch a daring rescue of the class porcupine? Well I Guess I'm Going With Them, we can figure out details on the way. And literally an important lynchpin that gets most narrative focus of the plan they collaboratively come up with On The Spot has nothing to do with Int and processing based problem solving, it is a moment of emotional intelligence on Midoriya's part where he looks Kirishima dead in the eye and says 'Bakugo hates accepting help, but he obviously likes you more than he hates looking vulnerable, so we need you to be the one to reach out.' And like-- Nobody Else would have thought to do that, it's such a great character moment for Izuku to be so Aware of others' relationships and emotional states to the point of anticipating a potential roadblock that Only He with his knowledge of his classmates who he actively pays close attention to would clock. It's still not a showcase of how smart he is, which is supposed to be one of his defining character traits.

I could keep going but I think you get the idea.

What ended up happening when Horikoshi wrote Izuku dealing with new conflicts in the straightforward, simple way that he does is that instead of writing a character who is really intelligent and a high level problem solver, Horikoshi just went: Okay uh, what do smart people do? They like... take a lot of notes? And... remember things real good-- they're Very Organized. And they get really good grades! Then just made a character who does Smart People Things, but who in reality simply has a special interest that leans real hard into the setting Horikoshi created and who also happens to get good grades through methods we are never privy to. His using the knowledge of his special interest that he has memorized through years and years of etching the details into his brain does not tell us he has a firm grasp on cause and effect and how to actively apply information. It tells us he simply contains a lot of raw information.

There is a reason so many neurodivergent people are like 'Oh, obviously Izuku is neurodivergent' and it's because he shows So Many Signs of being exactly that! Ignoring all the social tells Izuku mirrors throughout BNHA, he's so clearly got 'Future Burnt Out Gifted Kid' written on a sticky note over his forehead from chapter 1 and even has a moment in story where he fully burns himself out!! Like, I had completely unchecked and undiagnosed ADHD until after graduating high school and I got good grades like 88% of my life to that point. Not because I'm particularly intelligent and organized! I found it trivial to retain the raw information long enough to repeat it back and get the grade I needed, and I really really really love literature and analysis so any English class I took was a walk in the amusement park. I was told constantly how Smart I was, but I wasn't actually exercising intelligence and processing beyond my timed writes for English, which I regularly had a 50/50 chance of being below the bar on. All I was doing that made people say 'you're smart' is passively accumulating all these signifiers that I was smart. In that same way, Izuku having his special interest lie in something that his setting celebrates and is irrevocably steeped in does not make him particularly smart! It means he has passively accumulated a shitton of raw information that could potentially service him which he never uses because Horikoshi only ever writes Izuku's solutions to be 'He takes in all the information in front of him and maybe a flashback or two to figure a thing out and it works' and not 'He goes through various steps and rolodexes through all the information at his disposal to come to an informed solution'.

Despite him being introduced as this socially awkward nerdy teen with a high GPA and negative friend count, most of Izuku's defining moments have been his moments of exhibiting his social awareness and exercises of empathy and charisma. He sees Bakugo in the clutches of the sludge villain and sees someone who needs help before he sees someone who has repeatedly and regularly wronged him for as long as he can remember. He's running purely on the drive to save someone when he leaps twenty stories and punches a giant robot. He intuitively understands better than most people around him the importance of being a positive and grounding presence for the people they're helping, even if he needs to be reminded of it when other shit's going down. He is so happy and excited seeing Shinsou in their practice course and fully ignores the 'I'm not here to make friends' talk because he knows the social landscape enough to know Shinsou would be a welcome addition to the hero course. His classmates go to him when he's in the throes of self destructive isolationist burnout because he made their lives better for being with them by paying attention to them and taking an active part in their group, something he was brutally disallowed from doing for years and years and years up to this point. He doesn't slowly gain the emotional skills and aptitude that he needs, he quickly reclaims and makes unconscious use of those pieces of himself that nobody gave him the opportunity to use once he's put into a better environment.

Izuku's strengths have nothing to do with the giant encyclopedia of raw knowledge he has rattling around in his skull like an intimidatingly overstuffed filing cabinet, or his relatively average adaptability. His strengths lie in his ability to look at Shigaraki and connect on an intuitive emotional level that -fully separate from how much a destructive force Shigaraki is and all the things he has razed to the ground and must answer for- in the shadow of All For One, in the context of how faithfully the League follows him, in the face of knowing he no longer or never got the opportunity to have so much of what Izuku wouldn't be able to do without: this is another kid that needs saving.

He actively chooses to take on such a complex emotional gauntlet to try and reconcile his need to right all the evil Shigaraki has visited upon the world with his need to save and reclaim and preserve what he recognizes as a lonely, damaged kid that other people either allowed or encouraged into becoming such a monster. This is, from a clinically objective standpoint, a very stupid decision, as he is putting Way Too Much Of Himself on the line over what should be a very clear cut 'He has passed the moral event horizon, just put him down' situation. Hence why I adore Izuku so much because he says 'Fuck that. That's the simple solution. I'm going to bring him down no matter what, I can choose to attempt and pull forward any salvageable pieces of what he'd look like if he'd become the better version of himself.'

TLDR: I love Izuku so much and he is Such a force of personality and Pure Gumption, but He Is So Stupid, He Is Not Smart, anyone who tells you Izuku is smart shares or is below his Int stat like 85% of the time.

[itsclydebitches]

Here's a quandary I've suddenly found myself in: where do you stand on writers deleting their own works, fanfiction or otherwise? I've had this happen to me on more than one occasion - I go to look for an old favorite and find it's since been deleted from whatever site I read it on.

On the one hand, I'm inclined to think that, "Sure. The author wrote it, it's their call. I don't own the work - I certainly didn't pay for it. It's their decision, even if it's disappointing."

But at the same time I can't help but consider the alternative - if I believe in death of the author (and I do), that an author's work fundamentally isn't solely theirs once it's been published, posted, etc., then it also seems wrong to have a work deleted. Stories aren't the sole property of their creator, after all.

But then I circle back. D'you think there are different obligations between authors and readers and the works being made in fandom space? I know if I had bought a book and the author decided they wanted it back, I would feel pretty comfortable telling them no, given I'd paid for it and whatnot. But that's a different world from fanfic and fandom space generally.

So. You're insightful Clyde, I'm curious as to what you'll have to say here (and to all y'all thinking about it, don't flame me. I haven't decided where I stand here yet - haven't heard a good nail-in-the-coffin argument for or against yet).

Val are you a mind reader now? I’ve been thinking about this exact conundrum the last few days!

(And yeah, as a general disclaimer: no flaming. Not allowed. Any asks of the sort will be deleted on sight and with great satisfaction.)

Honestly, I’m not sure there is a “nail-in-the-coffin argument” for this, just because—as you lay out—there are really good points for keeping works around and really good points for allowing authors to have control over their work, especially when fanworks have no payment/legal obligations attached. In mainstream entertainment, your stories reflect a collaborative effort (publisher, editor, cover artists, etc.) so even if it were possible to delete the physical books out of everyone’s home and library (and we're ignoring the censorship angle for the moment), that’s no longer solely the author’s call, even if they have done the lion’s share of the creative work. Though fanworks can also, obviously, be collaborative, they’re usually not collaborative in the same way (more “This fic idea came about from discord conversations, a couple tumblr posts, and that one headcanon on reddit”) and they certainly don’t have the same monetary, legal, and professional strings attached. I wrote this fic as a hobby in my free time. Don’t I have the right to delete it like I also have the right to tear apart the blankets I knit?

Well yes… but also no? I personally view fanworks as akin to gifts—the academic term for our communities is literally “gift economy”—so if we view it like that, suddenly that discomfort with getting rid of works is more pronounced. If I not only knit a blanket, but then gift it to a friend, it would indeed feel outside of my rights to randomly knock on their door one day and go, “I actually decided I hate that? Please give it back so I can tear it to shreds, thanks :)” That’s so rude! And any real friend would try to talk me out of it, explaining both why they love the blanket and, even if it’s not technically the best in terms of craftsmanship, it holds significant emotional value to them. Save it for that reason alone, at least. Fanworks carry that same meaning—“I don’t care if it’s full of typos, super cliché, and using some outdated, uncomfortable tropes. This story meant so much to me as a teenager and I’ll always love it”—but the difference in medium and relationships means it’s easier to ignore all that. I’m not going up to someone’s house and asking face-to-face to destroy something I gave them (which is awkward as hell. That alone deters us), I’m just pressing a button on my computer. I’m not asking this of a personal friend that is involved in my IRL experiences, I’m (mostly) doing this to online peers I know little, if anything, about. It’s easy to distance ourselves from both the impact of our creative work and the act of getting rid of it while online. On the flip-side though, it’s also easier to demean that work and forget that the author is a real person who put a lot of effort into this creation. If someone didn’t like my knitted blanket I gave them as a gift, they’re unlikely to tell me that. They recognize that it’s impolite and that the act of creating something for them is more important than the construction’s craftsmanship. For fanworks though, with everyone spread around the world and using made up identities, people have fewer filters, happily tearing authors to shreds in the comments, sending anon hate, and the like. The fact that we’re both prefacing this conversation with, “Please don’t flame” emphasizes that. So if I wrote a fic with some iffy tropes, “cringy” dialogue, numerous typos, whatever and enough people decided to drag me for it… I don’t know whether I’d resist the urge to just delete the fic, hopefully ending those interactions. There’s a reason why we’re constantly reminding others to express when they enjoy someone else’s work: the ratio of praise to criticism in fandom (or simply praise to seeming indifference because there was no public reaction at all), is horribly skewed.

So I personally can’t blame anyone for deleting. I’d like to hope that more people realize the importance of keeping fanworks around, that everything you put out there is loved by someone… but I’m well aware that the reality is far more complicated. It’s hard to keep that in mind. It’s hard to keep something around that you personally no longer like. Harder still to keep up a work you might be harassed over, that someone IRL discovered, that you’re disgusted with because you didn’t know better back then… there are lots of reasons why people delete and I ultimately can’t fault them for that. I think the reasons why people delete stem more from problems in fandom culture at large—trolling, legal issues, lack of positive feedback, cancel culture, etc.—than anything the author has or has not personally done, and since such work is meant to be a part of an enjoyable hobby… I can’t rightly tell anyone to shoulder those problems, problems they can’t solve themselves, just for the sake of mine or others’ enjoyment. The reason I’ve been thinking about this lately is because I was discussing Attack on Titan and how much I dislike the source material now, resulting in a very uncomfortable relationship with the fics I wrote a few years back. I’ve personally decided to keep them up and that’s largely because some have received fantastic feedback and I’m aware of how it will hurt those still in the fandom if I take them down. So if a positive experience is the cornerstone of me keeping fics up, I can only assume that negative experiences would likewise been the cornerstone of taking them down. And if getting rid of that fic helps your mental health, or solves a bullying problem, or just makes you happier… that, to me, is always more important than the fic itself.

But, of course, it’s still devastating for everyone who loses the work, which is why my compromise-y answer is to embrace options like AO3’s phenomenal orphaning policy. That’s a fantastic middle ground between saving fanworks and allowing authors to distances themselves from them. I’ve also gotten a lot more proactive about saving the works I want to have around in the future. Regardless of whether we agree with deleting works or not, the reality is we do live in a world where it happens, so best to take action on our own to save what we want to keep around. Though I respect an author’s right to delete, I also respect the reader’s right to maintain access to the work, once published, in whatever way they can. That's probably my real answer here: authors have their rights, but readers have their rights too, so if you decide to publish in the first place, be aware that these rights might, at some point, clash. I download all my favorite fics to Calibre and, when I’m earning more money (lol) I hope to print and bind many for my personal library. I’m also willing to re-share fic if others are looking for them, in order to celebrate the author’s work even if they no longer want anything to do with it. Not fanfiction in this case, but one of my fondest memories was being really into Phantom of the Opera as a kid and wanting, oh so desperately, to read Susan Kay’s Phantom. Problem was, it was out of print at the time, not available at my library, and this was before the age of popping online and finding a used copy. For all intents and purposes, based on my personal situation, this was a case of a book just disappearing from the world. So when an old fandom mom on the message boards I frequented offered to type her copy up chapter by chapter and share it with me, you can only imagine how overjoyed I was. Idk what her own situation was that something like scanning wouldn’t work, but the point is she spent months helping a fandom kid she barely knew simply because a story had resonated with her and she wanted to share it. That shit is powerful!

So if someone wants to delete—if that’s something they need right now—I believe that is, ultimately, their decision… but please try your hardest to remember that the art you put out into the world is having an impact and people will absolutely miss it when it’s gone. Often to the point of doing everything they can to put it back out into the world even if you decide to take it out. Hold onto that feeling. The love you have for your favorite fic, fanart, meta, whatever it is? Someone else has that for your work too. I guarantee it.

So take things down as needed, but for the love of everything keep copies for yourself. You may very well want to give it back to the world someday.