#at this point I just gave up and kinda rushed the last panel

[lunaloothemew]

He do a yo hoho and a woof

[beaulesbian]

some egghead zolu shenanigans, up to chapter 1080.

zoro staying on sunny, because he knows the others might be in need of some rescuing, and because he doesn't trust vegapunk lilith (ch. 1065)

then caribou, who was travelling with them to get ouf of wano, appears and zoro thanks him for helping luffy before

- it was a small but important moment in the manga, because it was definitely the time when caribou had food on him thanks to his powers, and gave it to luffy who got new strength before his final battle with kaido on onigashima. (ch. 1021)

at that moment zoro was fighting his own stuff some place else, so it's interesting if luffy mentioned it/talked about this with his crew in between wano & egghead -and possibly they made a deal with caribou to get him out of wano in exchange for the food he gave luffy.

still it's something very cool how zoro keeps that in mind so much that he says it out loud here on egghead, the priorities of that's important to him - that someone helped luffy when he needed it. that the food possibly saved luffy in that moment.

and how zoro thinks about food in general, being so crucial for luffy to get his strength for battles and ofc just existing (luffy mentioning the first time they met at shells town where zoro was being held and starving, that he, luffy, wouldn't last even three days without food) , and zoro seems to keep that in mind, like giving him the meat when they saw each other again in wano (despite it being kinda poisoned) "no worries about food"

something that i keep coming back to is this part in sabaody/beginning of fishman island arc, where zoro points out he needs to go fishing. yeah, he could have done anything else, but he was waiting for his crew and for luffy (and maybe he wanted to make sure that luffy wouldn't be hungry once he arrives. despite having sanji there, and despite not knowing luffy would have a full bag of food from boa. it still seems connected to luffy, because even when he gets out of that ship he accidentaly breaks that was on its way to fishman island, he says it again - that he wants to go fishing.)

anyway. back to egghead

i loved this part where the crew basically makes sure zoro stays put so he doesn't get lost, and he's like "i can't think of a reason why they want me to stay here"

while luffy up until then was running around that place searching for someone, when all he could do was check the vegapunk's snail cameras skdjskd. he's catching breath on the couch so much that zoro notices he's exhausted like that (i'm thinking what all could be some gear 5 side-effects and how long they would last, being so tired/drained of energy afterwards his nika shift.. even before these panels luffy points out he just wanted to relax on that island for a bit. hm.)

another small zolu moment - when luffy lost the contact of the vegapunks in his earpiece and feels something might be wrong. and zoro is concerned what's happening:

then later, when they are up against the seraphim, these two want to team up and more hilarious stuff happens lol

such a funny situation aksksdj

(these faces lol, reminds me of the oden and whitebeard ones in wano flashbacks)

few chapters later, zoro rushing to protect their other crewmembers, and luffy yelling at kaku to go with him, but because he doesn't know his name he just calls him usopp, that made me laugh so much

and then there was also this part, in ch. 1076:

luffy making sure if they team up with rob lucci and kaku, they wouldn't go after strawhats or vegapunks later - it feels like luffy is pointing out to rob lucci that he really doesn't want to mess with him like that.

zoro trying to be the voice of reason not to trust them.

but then rob lucci basically threatening luffy and his crew, that once the teaming up is done he wants to get rid of luffy.

i like how luffy doesn't say anything to that, but he looks really pissed off. he doesn't care if rob lucci goes after him, but he cares if he says /does anything bad to his crew and friends.

im only few chapters later after this so idk how that will progress, but im really curious about the final outcome between luffy and rob lucci. luffy doesnt forget important things, he even specified not to hurt any of his crew, and rob lucci still pointed it out they would be dead after he was out of the way. soo.. just really curious for the future chapters.

[ofmermaidstories]

Hey Mermaid 🩷💜

It's me Lady, it's been a while. ;) I hope you're doing amazing! Having beautiful days and peaceful evenings, sleeping well, and staying hydrated💌💟

I hope you don't mind if this message feels too personal, and if it bothers you, please do ignore it.

I don't know if you've seen anything about the final chapter yet. And I, of course, do not want to spoil.

And I do sincerely hope you see the official chapter before this, so that my words makes sense. I guess I just want to say I'm feeling very overwhelmed about MHA ending, it's the most precious show to me . And especially Izuku's conclusion and how Horikoshi went about it. Again, I won't spoil of course but I guess I'm a bit disappointed.

I don't know, but something in me wanted your opinion and thoughts on the ending and Izuku's story's conclusion. Since, through reading your In another Life series fanfictions, I felt more connected to my favs (Izuku and Katsuki). Your writing gave me a new way of looking at their dynamic, story, and what a future for them entails with everything that they are and aren't.

I was actually avoiding the leaks because I wanted to at least read the official chapter when it's out since it is the last. So that I can honor it on a way. But one thing led to another by a simple scroll through tiktok.

Anyways, when I saw the panels I guess I thought "I would like to write him a hundred other happy endings". I say "other" because he's clearly happy in the conclusion, even with everything that happened (OFA and Tenko's conclusion mostly). But still, the thought came up.

And then I actually remembered your drabble of Izuku and his child, the "he will be your husband's biggest heartache" one, and I don't know, I guess I really wanted to ask you.

Thank you for staying with me. I hope you have a day filled with happy wishes. 🎀💌

Hi Mermaid 💌

It's me Lady, I half-hope you see this ask before my other previous one that I sent. This one might be long too, so sorry in advance. And thank you for taking the time♥️.

It has been plaguing my mind. I was really emotional about the ending and had alot to get off my chest, I ended up writing all that to you. I feel so embarrassed, and I could have worded it better.

I really just want to clear out a few things 😅. If you don't mind. I am not the kind of fan to put dirt on the author her/himself no matter how unsatisfied I am with a part of their story. I hope I didn't imply that in my previous ask about the ending and Izuku's conclusion (I barely remember much of what I said 😭)

Secondly, while 8 years is a huge gap, getting to see pro-hero class A was so surreal, in a "proud parent" way 🥹. I think I implied I wanted ur thoughts on the could-be-considered unsatisfactory parts of the ending. But I actually meant as a whole. Eri grown up also had me so proud and happy! She deserves to live a normal teenager girl life 🩷.

Bonus points pro hero Bakugou looking gorgeous as always 🤭. Kind of fills the picture for me now whenever | read pro-hero au fanfiction.

And the way he paid the most out of the class A alumni for Izuku to have a hero suit so that he could he a hero, and they could compete with one another again is so sweet.

But again, to make my point clear. I would love to hear your thoughts personally on everything that the ending, please.

I hope you have a wonderful day 🎀💟

Lady! Lilium. Lady Lilium. 🥹 Hi!!! Please don’t feel embarrassed!!! 🥺 Your asks actually let me feel relieved, lmao, because it meant I wasn’t alone in the… idk! topsy turvy feelies that the leaks had caused. 🥹 If there’s one thing I won’t miss it’s the entitlement that causes leaks to breach containment and ruin everyone else’s day. 💀 But!! Lili, how are you feeling on the other side of the official release??? For me personally it was like… a sense of relief, lmfao, like no matter my nitpicks about things (I do think the epilogue in general was rushed, and i’m kinda like 💀💀💀 over class a’s decision not to tell their friend about their goal to fund his iron man suit, lmao. there’s surprises and then there’s making life-altering decisions for someone LOL) i think the ending is sweet. 🥹 The last page does a lot of heavy lifting, emotionally, for me, and i’m wondering if it’s the same for you and others?

An account I follow on twitter said something about how as a reader they weren’t really happy with the ending, but they could see why fic writers would be, because everything’s so open-ended and it kinda startled me, because of how immediately i agreed? LOL. like, i like the ending for the same reason i’ve liked the series: it is open-ended, there’s enough world building that you can build on top of it, as a fic writer, and work with the lore Hori like, hints throughout it. But as a reader I could see how someone could be unsatisfied. We rush through the group’s remaining years at UA. The Billboard rankings are still a thing, despite Hawk’s grand speech in making an effort to include non-traditional heroes. Hero commercialism is still running rampant and if anything, the pro hero world sounds like it’s gotten more enclosed and harder to be apart of? Whichhhh I guess you could argue it should’ve always been that way—they are extreme first defenders in a lot of respects so sure, you need the best of the best—but idk. I keep thinking about the league, lmao, and all that change they carried on about wanting—and what they got was most of them killed in action and also no change LMAOO. No, wait, Shoji ends mutant racism and Ochako compels more Quirk counselling 🥹 (I’m not mad at that, I think it’s touching they both end up spearheading movement/efforts for ending discrimination/encourage understanding, it’s just… those are a big fights, you know? Big undertakings 🥺).

Idk idk idk. I’m trying to think of something that I, as a reader and not a fanfic writer, am unsatisfied with and I guess… I’m not unsatisfied with the ending moreso than I am with my biggest and most constant complaint: that Hori’s a coward who’s cowardice undermines his emotional beats LMAOOO. I think he’s a coward for letting Edgeshot live. I think he’s a coward for not confirming a ship—like, any of them. He’s a coward for not daring to imagine significant change in the pro hero system. But even with those criticisms, I still enjoy the series, and love it for what it is. 🥺

My original reaction to the final chapter leaks, tbh, was like—to get the ick LMFAOOOOOO. i was like, what is this. what have u DONE TO MY BOYYY. idk it gave me the ick for both deku and bakugou and i can’t really explain why??? now that we have the official chapter out, i think it was definitely a deadly combo of like—fandom making up their own minds about things and running it into the ground within the space of hours. 💀 that’s on me, i should’ve gone underground, i knew this fandom would skirt close to ruining the entire series for me like the clowns in the clown car they are. but this is why i was so relieved to get your asks, Lili!!! 🥺 Because it was like, omg, it’s not just me, like, we’re processing what we know about it together. 🥺 eight years!!!! i feel the same—like a proud parent. 🥹 The montage panels showing us the bits and pieces of everyone—Eri deserves to live her best high school musician life!!! 😭 But all of them, all of them made me emotional in some way. Aizawa and Mic visiting Oboro’s grave. 🥺 mirko with her insane prosthetics. 💀 love her. Endeavour losing his family, but being surrounded by the heroes from his agency. 🥺 Izuku seeing Shigaraki, at the end. So much of it was bittersweet, or satisfying to see in action. The kids competing in the sports festival!! Bakugou being cheerled as he rehabs his arm!!! Izuku, smiling, as he holds the last embers of OFA. That part actually devastates me lmfao. I love that MHA like—shows that anyone can be a hero, that the thing that makes one is the compulsion to help others first, and that now there’s like, accessibility, but… idk. I wanted him and OFA to stay together forever. 🥹 But maybe this is for the best… now the past users really are at rest, and Izuku can be a hero on his own strength.

I love that Class A worked together to fund the suit. I know the “Bakugou paid more” thing was popular, in the wake of the leaks, and I could see him funnelling more into it but one of the things I hated the most with the leaks/that gave me the biggest ick (lmao) was how everyone was turning it into a shipping thing, and not an incredible statement on just how much Class A love each other, and love Deku. 🥺 All Might mentions in his fight with AFO, with his own hero suit, that it took his life’s savings—so for them to be able to fund Izuku’s with only, what, six years of pro hero salary? That’s an incredible group effort. And they did it because they love him!!!! 😭 Because he worked hard and deserved it and they all knew it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because the golden generation doesn’t leave anyone behind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love them, i’m obsessed with their pro hero designs, concerned about the potential rat tails bakugou has tho and i don’t want to talk about the facial hair that sero and mineta have, lmfao. Shinsou, however, can absolutely get it. 😎

idkkkkkkk lili—what do you think, now? Overall i’m still emotional about it, lmao. i think the endgame had weak spots and that hori has strengths and weaknesses (like we all do) as a storyteller—but that he delivered. 🥹 i think ultimately he did what he promised us he’d do: told us the story of how they became the greatest heroes.

[totallyuseless-ugh]

Across the Campus

Chapter Eight: A Crisis to Relish in

Pico pushed the door to his dorm room open, trying not to spill any coffee, especially on his hands. He was about to walk straight through and enter the balcony, until he noticed Darnell sitting at his desk with the laptop open and running.

“Ah,” Pico muttered, only half surprised. “Of course. Still need your coffee?”

Darnell typed something on the keyboard and tilted his head just barely away from the screen with his eyes still on the written text. “Sorry?” Darnell asked and finally gave his full attention to Pico. The redhead just raised the mug in his hand and set it down next to the keyboard. He pulled up his chair from the other desk to sit near Darnell and look over his shoulder.

“Still not done?”

“Obviously,” Darnell said. “Got another week or so.”

Pico shook his head. “How can you make yourself spend all your free time on this stuff?”

“It’s called anxiety,” Darnell joked.

“Ah, of course. I forgot,” Pico agreed. He watched as Darnell scrolled down his essay and highlighted another section for later. “But seriously, you need to stop burying yourself in work. Go out some more. Relax, man.”

“Like what, you want me to become a cheerleader for your games?” Darnell’s voice was laced heavily with sarcasm.

“Nah,” Pico waved off the idea. “There’s another party coming up kinda soon. Don’t know the deets yet, but I’ve heard it’s gonna be a big one.”

“Not interested,” Darnell was very deadpan.

Pico rolled his eyes. “Of course.” He continued to silently watch his best friend reading his own text, editing and highlighting sentences all over. That was, until Pico’s mug was empty.

He got up from his chair, groaning and stretching his limbs in hopes of getting the last bit of sleep out of his system. “C’mon, buttercup. Time to go to class.”

“Nah man,” Darnell said, still keeping his eyes on the screen in front of him, again. “Mine ain’t happening today. Prof got sick or som’.”

“Lucky bastard,” Pico grumbled mostly to himself. “Then have fun rotting in your chair all day, I guess.” He slung his bag over his shoulder and waved to Darnell on his way out, despite knowing he would not get the same in return.

Time passed quickly once Darnell was all by himself again. At this point, he had been sitting at his desk for an hour and a half already. He noticed his hands asking for a small break, and his legs needed some stretching. He moved out of the chair to walk around the room, but he stopped by the balcony door as he got lost in his thoughts. The campus was as lively as always for the time, people getting to and from class, passing time chatting on the benches. Darnell realized only then that he had missed CJ this morning. They must have been confused why he was not there on the balcony to greet them as usual. He imagined they would probably ask him about it in their next lecture tomorrow, or maybe they would even come over after their last lecture for a small chat again.

A shiver ran down Darnell’s spine as he remembered something. He rushed back to his desk. A light blue varsity jacket hung over the back of his chair, the mascot and team name embroidered on one front panel, the other side only containing the name CJ Ashton.

It has been a few days since CJ has last been here. They had come over after training, stayed for a small chat which had turned into two hours of conversation and laughter. Darnell remembered how he accompanied CJ back to their dorm building, how he returned to his own room and found the jacket on his bed. He had texted them straight away.

[Darnell] “Hey”

[Darnell] “Your jacket is still in my room”

[Darnell] “Should I bring it over real quick?”

CJ read the messages almost right away but took a while to respond.

[CJ] “nah, all good. its already late. just bring it to class on monday or something.”

Just a short moment after sending it were they typing out another message, much faster this time.

[CJ] “unless you want it gone real bad ofc, then ill just grab it in a sec” [Darnell] “Oh, no, all good.”

[CJ] “then monday it is”

He did not know at that time that their teacher would cancel the lecture that day. And in a funny way, Darnell was happy about that. He liked having the jacket near. It made his chair feel so much more comfy to sit in, the work more tolerable to complete. Darnell knew he could not do that, but he wanted to never return the jacket.

And yet, knowing how much it meant to CJ, he would do so next time he got the chance to.

Darnell began to wonder. If it really meant that much to Jay, why would they leave it here?

If he were being optimistic, Darnell could read it as CJ testing the waters. Maybe they left it on his bed intentionally and wanted to see what he would do or how fast he would want to return it.

Darnell kept on eyeing the piece of clothing he was now holding in his hands. He knew he should not entertain the idea too much. The idea of CJ feeling the same kind of attraction for him. The idea of one day going on a date with them. The idea of Darnell stealing a few of the clothes CJ had, because they were stylish, and Darnell liked wearing oversized clothes already anyway.

But damn it, he was allowed to dream from time to time. 

Darnell looked around the room to make sure nobody else was there with him. He felt guilty for what he was about to do. Also, he did not want to give Pico more of an opportunity to mock him if he were to get caught.

With the reassurance that he was indeed alone, Darnell slipped his arms into the jacket to put it on. It felt awfully comforting to wear, and the fact that, of course, it smelled so much of CJ had Darnell feeling a bit funny. But not in a bad way.

It was this feeling of knowing he should not be doing this right now. He should not pretend that he was wearing his partner’s jacket. Yet it felt right on him, ignoring the large sleeves slipping over his hands repeatedly. Being around them made him feel safe in a way Darnell never before experienced. And while this was only a jacket of theirs, having it on him also made him feel this sense of security once again.

Darnell actually was not all too sure himself anymore whether his fantasizing was actually so outlandish. Whenever CJ had forgotten something, either with him or elsewhere, they would immediately go back to pick it up themself. They had done so for a variety of things. Some more valuable, such as their guitar being left in a practice room of the music department, but also other much less expensive or even important, being worksheets, pens and the such.

So why were they so lax about one of the few things they cared about so much?

Darnell shook his head. He did not have the time to daydream, the essay was far too important, and the deadline more imminent than he would like for it to be.

He stared at his hand holding onto the white sleeve. He could take it off right now with no problem. But he hesitated. It was hard for Darnell to quit fantasizing, especially when he would have to do the most boring thing instead. And the jacket felt so good on him, too. Why could he not just do the work while keeping it on?

He quickly slipped out of the jacket and hung it back over his chair before the devil on his shoulder could tempt him further. 

Time goes on with Darnell typing out words as fast as he can. He knows there still was a week left for him to work on the essay, but this rather amplifies the stress than decreasing it for him. Once again, his hands ask for a break from the nonstop abuse he is subjecting them to.

Darnell reluctantly moved away from his desk for a quick stroll onto the balcony. It may be cold, but he was actually glad to be breathing some fresh air again. His eyes wandered across the campus as he always did. Students were returning from classes, sitting on the grass and laughing together. Others were on their way to the library or for some clubs offered by the university, including the sports people. He leaned over the balcony’s fencing to get a better look at the football field. A couple of people were already warming up, others were throwing the pigskin at each other back and forth. It looked senseless to Darnell, but he was not going to question anything these people were doing. He was not going to start an argument with a random football player.

His mindless staring was soon interrupted by the sound of a loud whistling noise. At first, he believed the training was about to begin. But none of the players seemed bothered by the sound, and it was far too loud as well. He looked back to the greenery in front of himself, only to see CJ waving at him with a big grin. Darnell laughed and waved back at them. He wanted to say something, anything. But nothing came to mind fast enough. Before he knew, CJ already wandered off to the gym, probably to get ready in the locker rooms before heading to the field. If only he were not so busy, Darnell would have grabbed the jacket and run downstairs to return it to CJ. But they both had better things to do at this moment.

Then he got an idea.

Darnell left the balcony again to snatch his phone off the nightstand. He opened his chat with CJ, but he hesitated for a moment. Was this a good idea? Who knows. His thumbs were already tapping away on the digital keyboard to compose a message.

[Darnell] “Hey, how long is your practice today? Maybe I could swing by after.”

Darnell did not have the patience or nerves to stare at the screen until he would get a response. He took his phone with him back to the desk, continuing his work as best he could with the anticipation buzzing in his fingers. When his phone screen lit up again after a couple of minutes, Darnell did not even finish the sentence he was writing in that moment. He simply had to check the new message immediately.

[CJ] “shouldnt be longer than 6pm” [CJ] “maybe 6:30 if you give me some time for a shower”

Darnell could not help but smile, though he did not even know why.

[Darnell] “I’ll see you later at the gym then.”

A moment later, the message was marked as ‘read’. Now Darnell had to pass the time until practice would be over for CJ. Reluctantly, he put the phone aside and continued his work. He still felt overly impatient, checking the time nearly every few minutes. The, in his eyes, endless wait was a lingering pain to Darnell. He wanted to jump up, run out of the room, do anything but wait another second sitting at his desk.

Finally, once it was about 10 minutes before the time he and CJ had agreed upon, Darnell could close his laptop and get ready. He quickly changed from his comfy indoor clothes to something more outside appropriate. He checked his appearance with the selfie camera on his phone. And of course, he grabbed the blue jacket to take with him downstairs.

Darnell stood by the entrance of the large university gym. He held the varsity jacket in his hands as he watched the football players leave the building one by one. And while he was aware how big of a field and player lineup was typical for the sport, it still surprised him to see just how many people left the locker rooms before CJ.

Their hair was still damp, as was the towel over their shoulders.

“I didn’t expect to see you today,” they laughed. “Thought you’d spend your free day on that essay as always.”

“Well, I was,” Darnell admitted. “But I promised to give you back your jacket today. It was just.. unfortunate that our class was canceled this morning.”

CJ looked at the piece of clothing with surprise, as if they had completely forgotten about its existence, before their lips curled into a smile. “Right, thanks for that.”

“No problem,” Darnell said with a smile of his own. “So, do you.. have any plans, now that you’re off the field?”

CJ thought for a moment, then shook their head. “Nope, I’m very much free for the rest of the day. Are you askin’ when I’ll finally continue working on my essay?”

“I was actually trying to forget about that wretched thing for a short while.” Darnell looked around himself for a moment as if in search of something to do or talk about. A brief moment of silence lingered. That was until CJ began to walk and dragged Darnell along with their hand on his lower back.

“Then let us take a stroll around campus. Just because you had no class doesn’t mean you don’t need to get up and move your body.”

Darnell tried ignoring the hot rush shooting up his spine from the small touch. “Right, right..” he muttered to himself. He let his gaze wander while he tried finding topics for a conversation. He knew they did not have to talk. But he wanted to, especially since he did not get the chance to after class as it was normally. “How were your other classes today?”

“It was fine, as always,” CJ answered. “We’re still practicing writing down music by ear and then have to analyze certain elements in it. It’s becoming a bit repetitive, but practice makes perfect I guess.”

“By ear? Like, they just have some melody playing and then you have to try scribbling down the notes?”

“And the time signatures,” CJ added.

“This is insanity.” Darnell shook his head in lighthearted disbelief. “Why did you choose to study something like this? I doubt you wanna become a teacher, so is it just so you can listen to some songs and ramble on about the types of harmonies being used?”

“I mean, it certainly is a perk. But no,” CJ said. “I just.. really like music. And I want the music I make to have purpose, meaning. So I gotta know how to exactly get the feelings across to the people listening. I study music theory so that the listeners understand the meaning right away.”

Darnell nodded along to CJ’s words. He already knew they had a great interest in music. It was to be expected from someone who chose to get a doctor title in that particular field. “Makes sense,” he muttered after a while. “When you’re that passionate about something, why not pursue it further.

“And what does your family think about your major?”

CJ chuckled at the unexpected question. “They’re fully supportive of it. Mom and Grams are already ‘threatening’ me if I don’t become a successful musician afterwards.” 

“Sorry,” Darnell held back a laugh of his own, his toothy grin still showing his amusement. “You call your grandmother ‘Grams’?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Is your grandfather ‘Kilos’ then?” He could no longer hold back and began chortling.

It took CJ a second to understand why Darnell was laughing. Once they realized though, CJ facepalmed and laughed quietly with him. “Why do you keep bullying me like this?” They asked lightheartedly.

“Because you white people give your family the weirdest names!”

“Oh hell no, not every white person! Rika- no wait.. Sunghee-! Also no.. Egeith?..” CJ tried to think of any of their friends they could use as an example to win the argument. But they realized the people closest to them were all not white, and used normal names for their family members on top of that. “Alright, you got me.”

Darnell shook his head in amusement, letting the silence linger for a moment before changing the topic.

He did not even notice how far he and CJ had been walking as they chatted. They might even have rounded the campus once or twice already, too. He did, however, notice the change in temperature after a while.

“Jeez, how are you still just runnin’ around in your shirt?”

“I guess I got used to it,” CJ answered. “Going out every morning for a jog kinda toughens you up.”

“I kinda forgot it was fall. Y’know, sittin’ inside all day in my warm dorm.”

CJ looked at Darnell for a moment without speaking a word. Their gaze had something hesitant to it, and Darnell did not want to interpret anything into that expression, worrying it might stir up the fantasizing part in him again from earlier.

“If you want, you can have my jacket again,” CJ finally spoke. “Since I’m not wearing it right now anyway?”

Darnell stared back at them with big eyes for a moment until he quickly caught himself. “But I just gave it back to you. What if I forget to return it again?”

“I’m sure it won’t happen. And even if, it’s not like I’ll disappear tomorrow.”

“I.. guess,” Darnell mutters with a soft smile. He accepts the jacket and slides it on once more. He felt less awkward about it this time, but he still could not fully shake off the feeling that he should not be doing this right now. CJ was being nice to him, yes. But going along with such a thing when he has interest in them on a romantic level? It really did not sit well with him.

CJ did not seem to notice his hesitation or conflicted feelings, as they kept on smiling at him and chatting as both strolled around the campus together.

After a while, Darnell suddenly noticed something as he looked around. The campus street lights switched on as the sky had begun to turn darker. He pulled out his phone to confirm, it was already 7PM.

CJ had peeked over at the screen with him that moment. “Damn, I think it’s time to get to our rooms again.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Darnell agreed. Reluctantly, the two headed for the dorm building near the football field. They were having such a good time just now. But everything has to come to an end eventually, Darnell thought.

CJ and Darnell both stopped outside, right by one of the two entrance doors to the building. It was time to say goodbye for the night.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” CJ said as they pulled Darnell into a big hug.

“If class don’t cancelled again,” Darnell answered half jokingly as he accepted the warm embrace. He could feel how CJ chuckled silently and nodded their head against his shoulder.

“Let’s hope not,” they said with a softer voice.

Darnell eventually pulled himself back out of the hug, letting CJ wander off. He knew he could not keep standing around like this. There was still work waiting for him upstairs, and CJ had to go to their own dorm too. Let alone how cold it was. They would be freezing soon enough-

“Wait!” Darnell quickly called out to CJ. They stopped in their tracks and turned to look back at the other in surprise.

Darnell stripped the jacket off his shoulders and held it up high for CJ to see before running over to hand it back to them. “I told you I’d give it back to you today,” he said.

“Ah, right,” CJ mumbled to themself. They took back the piece of clothing, staring at it for a moment, then smiling at Darnell again. “I kinda forgot it wasn’t yours. It just looks too good on you.”

Darnell was stunned. Too stunned to speak. He wanted to say something clever, something sweet, actually just anything back to them. But he was too distracted feeling his entire body burning up, flustered and lightheaded. All he could manage were a few weak laughs leaving his mouth.

But CJ did not seem to mind that. They just kept on smiling at him.

“Goodnight, Nells,” CJ told him and waved with their free hand before walking away once more. Darnell watched them leave, his feet still stuck to the ground until he could no longer see the tall blonde.

“Goodnight, Jay,” he finally uttered once he was all by himself again.

[ganondoodle]

Hey, I adore your artstyle mate, I loveeee all the vivid colors and the fact that most of it lacks lines?? You doing the hard stuff, but it paying off 💜

can I ask, as I’d like to get into comic making, how long does it take you to finish a a single panel?

Hi!! thank you very much!! drawing lineart is incredibly frustrating to me so im very glad i was able to make the jump to mostly lineless artwork, tho im very much still at the beginning to learn how to do it xD

to answer your question, i .. cant say really, it depends on what is on the panel, and i always jump around when working on a page, i draw half of the very last panel, then jump to another, maybe i see something i want to change right away and work on the third besides i ... dont know anything about panel composition, i think in movies so i play it and try to pause it on a frame that could work as a panel, whichs is probably why it goes alot slower than normal comics, idk how much to skip gndfjknvgfdjk

im by no means an expert in making comics, you kinda have to find your own way of what works for you, i have done many in the past but all failed, i gave up before getting even one chapter done many times

general advice i can give you is, most importantly, dont wait, i know its daunting to start, but you have to start, even if you dont think you are good enough, you will always change and improve anyway, better start now or you might do it never, and remember, when a page is done its done, i know how tempting it is to go back and redo it, but if you start with that it will only lead to an endless cycle of remaking it over and over

a cause that made me abandon my old projects, was partly lack of support/recognition, but mostly that i was forcing myself to things that werent fun, like one i made in black and white bc i thought you had to do it bc color takes too long, but i live for colors, so it drained the fun out of it immediately

the only "rules" i have set for myself is that its understandable, the flow of the action doesnt flip around too much, speech bubbles are aligned in a way that guides you (of course im not perfect at that either and always learn); i dont jump between pages, i jump between working on panels, but i dont start another page before the previous is at least acceptable, otherwise id get ahead of myself and get impatient, just wanting to skip ahead and neglect older pages; and that i only work on a panel/page as long as it has acceptable quality and is fun to draw, when i notice im getting bored or frustrated i finish it quickly as best as i can and move on, otherwise it might drag the entire project down, which is why each panel or page in 'Destiny' varies alot in quality

i can barely look at the first pages .. or even at the last one i made for that matter, but its also fascinating, how much my art changes within even one update which takes me about a month for 4 pages, since i have set my 'fun' rules at least, it used to take much longer (i wish i was faster, and i could be, but i have a job, and have to look out for my health, both physically and mentally, so i take whatever time i need and draw however much i feel like drawing, no rushing)

my progress so far is that i write a rough script, what happens, what dialog, where it ends, and so on, it doesnt have to sound good, god knows mine are shitty xD but its a good guideline, even if rough! then i make a rough draft, basic panel layout, dialog (it always changes fro mthe script, again its more liek a guideline than a rule ;) ) then i start with actually drawing the first page, my art and way of .. art and writing changes incredibly fast (idk if its for the better lol) so .. by that point i redraw the rough draft version of the page if i see how it works better, rewrite dialog too, and even cut stuff from the rough draft

im not done with the first chapter (im slow af lol), but wrote the script for the second one when my hand was injured and i couldnt draw for a month, once im done with this chapter i will draw the rough draft for ch2, then write the script for ch3 then go and draw ch2 fully, at least thats the plan the more time passes the more i know what the next chapters are gonna be, tho i know the important points long before; right now i have the entirety of the first arc sepeareted into chapters, and the end of it all too, but between there its still a lil blurry and im adjusting everytime i think of soemthing better

anyway, sorry for that long ass ramble, its late and i thoguht about this ask bc im trying to get my want to draw back (not feeling well rn nkfdnkd) so i randomly decided to answer it .. probably in the most unhelpful way possible, alot of stuff noone aksed for lol

anyway, sorry, and goodnight uwu

[get-shiggy-with-it]

Ch. 2

Shigaraki Birthday Celebration! 18+ MINORS DNI

Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x fem!reader 

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: reader is marked fem cause Tomura is a little sexist and hates you cause you’re a woman, no pronouns, incel!shiggy, collage au/no quirks, tomura is an asshole, gratuitous swearing, like so much, shiggy has a dirty mouth, mentions of shigs being anxious, brief male masturbation, tags will be added for smut in the next two parts

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6

Summary: In which studying is done, unwilling connections are made, and Tomura thinks about the way you smell a totally normal amount. 

AO3 mirror

Taglist: @dillybuggg​ (just shoot me an ask if you want to be tagged!

Tomura hadn’t stopped staring at his phone since he left the apartment. It was second nature by now—head down at a nearly ninety degree angle, hoodie pulled up to hide hair he hadn’t bothered to comb in weeks, and phone out, held just far enough away that he could see the pavement behind the screen. 

He’d found that people tended to naturally avoid him this way and he didn’t have to risk accidentally making eye contact. It was still a bit nerve wracking to venture into buildings he didn’t expressly have to for classes, so he was still hesitant to make the voyage from his apartment to the library.  But he’d made the mistake of mentioning plans to his roommate and the bastard wouldn’t leave him alone about it afterwards until he was practically shoved out with the door locked behind him. 

He was half tempted to make up some excuse last minute and go hide out at the only cafe on campus he could tolerate, but Tomura knew he was just delaying the inevitable. Biting the bullet now would help to not prolong his suffering. 

Your text thread glared up at him in stark white on blue as he pushed past a crowd of students by the library entrance and flashed his ID to the attendant. 

Group Project Bitch:

— hey I got us a room on the third floor, all the way in the back

—text me when you’re here I’ll wave you in, it’s kinda hard to find T-T

                                                                                                     sounds good— 

He shot off a quick text to you that he was hoping on the elevator. The other two guys in the lift may have given him a dirty look for only going up to the third floor, but Tomura sure as hell wasn’t going to risk the physical exertion of stares when just the thought being stuck in a small room alone with you for god knows how long already had him sweating. 

When he stepped out, you were leaned against one of the 90s-green shelves, scrolling aimlessly through your phone. He panicked momentarily, thinking he’d have to get your attention cause just walking up without saying anything would be weird right? 

He wasn’t sure. 

He didn’t do shit like this. 

Thankfully, you looked up at the chime of the lift and waved him over. His red sneakers squeaked as they scuffed the linoleum floors and he already regretted choosing his tighter fitting pair of sweats. The tapered legs that hugged his ankles and thin calves rubbed against his skin and stung the raw patches. 

“Hey, thanks for coming,” you said softly and he nodded, following as you began to weave through the stacks. “Sorry it was short notice, graduation’s coming up so I'm swamped with meetings.”

“It’s fine, I didn’t have anything going on.” 

He cringed internally at the way his voice cracked, trying to keep the usual rasp to a minimum. His roommate said it was from the innumerable hours he spent shouting at his monitor or on discord, which was probably true but to you he was sure he just sounded like a fucking teenager. 

“Cool, I’ve been set up for awhile so feel free to move some stuff,” you talked a bit louder now that you’d both stepped into the study room and shut the door. 

Tomura looked around. You’d snagged one of the nicer ones at least, with the big monitors he could cast his screen onto and those comfy chairs he liked but could never beat anyone too on the lower floors. 

You were right, there was shit all over the big table at the center of the room. Notes and printed out readings with highlights galore and sticky notes littering the pages were scattered all over. What a show off. You probably tossed all this stuff out so he’d think you were actually intelligent or some shit. 

Kicking a pile off of the nearest plush armchair, Tomura took a seat and pulled his laptop out. There was a jack in the middle of the table and you plugged yours in to cast onto the big monitor. 

You made a fucking power point for him. 

This couldn’t be real. 

“So I know I ran some stuff by you in class but essentially I was thinking we make like a simple Twine type thing using the rhetorical argument Swift is making…” 

You started rambling again and Tomura almost immediately tuned you out. His eyes drifted between the rough outline you were flicking through on the board and the laptop you had your nose buried in. 

It was covered in stickers, pretty obviously stereotypical for someone as obsessed with being ‘cool’ as you clearly were. But as he scanned through the various old meme phrases and aesthetic shit, he caught a couple of game references he recognized and a panel cutout from one of his favorite manga. 

He almost fell into your trap for a moment, feeling a rush at the prospect of someone—much less a chick—being into his main hyperfixations. 

But it was quickly crushed under everything his years trolling subreddits had taught him. People like you didn’t actually have interests beyond the attention and dick it got them. Plus that manga was pretty popular anyway, you probably didn’t even read it, just thought the line was funny or made you sound quirky. That had to be why you felt the need to drop it in your first texts. 

“What do you think?” you asked, making good on your new habit of startling the hell out of him. 

Tomura blinked, gaze instinctively turning to you but the blatant way you stared made his mouth turn to sand paper, so he looked resolutely back at the color-coded bullet points on the screen. 

“Look’s fine,” he mumbled. 

The more he glanced over it, the more it actually did look fine. A bit more than fine, really, which pissed him off even more. The little choose-your-own debate style story was not a terrible way to make fucking Whatever Swift interesting and it kinda looked like you’d bothered to google some simple coding which gave him a better idea of what you were looking for. 

It was...good. 

And that so fucking annoying. 

Well, he wasn’t sure if annoying was the right word for it, but the proposal coupled with your apparent lack of disgust at working with him made his face hot and that only ever happened otherwise when his roommate left the dishes out for weeks or when some newb on his server fucked up their raids. 

Then, you had the audacity to plop down in the chair next to him and— 

“You can tell me to fuck off if you want,” you began, shuffling in the chair to cross your legs on the cushion, “but I was hoping you’d be willing to show me how you do some of the coding stuff? I tried on my own, but I have literally no clue what I’m doing.” 

He could smell you again, like the whole fucking health and beauty aisle at the grocery store. When he turned his head a bit to look at you around the curtain of his hair, you were crooked—back against the armrest and facing him. 

“Why do you want to know?” he asked, sounding a bit less rude than he would have liked to. 

You just fucking stared right at him though, didn’t wrinkle your nose at how greasy his roots were or how he was wearing the same hoodies as yesterday. 

“I’ve always been interested in it, but my program is kinda stressful and I don’t have much free time so I never learned,” you offered and for once Tomura found he didn’t feel his skin crawl under your unwavering gaze. 

The dry, cracked area around his eyes burned though as sweat beaded on his forehead and he quickly wiped at his face with a loose sweatshirt sleeve. The garment hung off his shoulders, bought a size too big that he never ended up growing into. 

“What’s your major?” 

He found the words slipped easily from him. It was the quintessential question you asked of anyone in college when you met, but he’d never been interested in the answer before. 

You babbled a bit about your specific area of study and your voice was surprisingly not as infuriating as he remembered it being before. It was softer, he thought, than when you were soapboxing in class about the sexist implications of old as fuck poetry—it had a less grating quality and was almost pleasing to the ear. 

Or Tomura would have said that if he thought you deserved the compliment. 

But, obviously you didn’t. 

So he didn’t. 

He just pretended to care about what you were saying and didn’t hang onto every word at all. Actually he was more enraptured in the way your lips moved when you talked. You used your hands a lot too, but his eyes were ensnared on the way your mouth quirked and dipped, at the occasional flash of your tongue between strong teeth. When he leaned in a bit, he could smell your breath too: fruity gum and the remnants of whatever you were always drinking in that loud as fuck cup. He wondered now what exactly it was, so he could buy it and get a better idea of what you mouth might taste—

Nope. 

No, see this was exactly what he wasn’t supposed to be thinking about. How were you doing this to him? What a fucking slut. 

Tomura steeled his nerves as you started explaining the extracurriculars you did on the side. 

“My roommate freshman year actually started a gaming club and so I’ve gotten more into that over the years,” you explained, pointing at the stickers on your laptop case. 

“Are you talking about The League?” 

“Yeah, I didn’t know if you’d heard of it,” you shrugged.  

He knew of the gaming club on campus. He’d thought about joining when he enrolled but the allure of anonymity online gaming provided was too strong. Plus his discord server didn’t have annoying weekly meetings. 

The thought of you, up late and illuminated by the blue light of a tv screen, tucked away in one of the basement rooms in the media building was...strange. It also prompted an array of new images��you in those fucking cat ear headsets, seated in his lap as he trashed you in Mario Kart which was even stranger. 

Tomura had to physically shake his head to dislodge the thought. 

“Uh, we should probably work on this right?” he cringed at the way his voice cracked compared to your own, smooth tone. 

You should narrate those fucking sleepy time mediation things. His roommate used to hide wireless speakers in his room and blast those when Tomura stayed up too late. It was annoying as shit then, but if it was you talking, he probably wouldn’t have minded so much. 

Or no, no he would definitely mind. 

Yes. It would have been worse if anything. 

“Oh shit, you right. It’s been like two hours.” 

He glanced down at his laptop and saw that it had, indeed, been two hours since he got there. He’d willingly spoken to you for two goddamn hours. It felt like no time had passed at all, but the sun was definitely setting, the overhead fluorescent bulbs taking over as the main light source in the room. 

Weird. 

So you settled back in your chair, typing away like you always did, but the sound wasn’t nearly as frustrating as before. Occasionally, you’d glance over his shoulder and ask questions about what he was working on, but mostly the two of you settled into a comfortable silence. 

This pattern continued for the next few weeks. As the weather warmed, you began to show a bit more skin. He never worked up the nerve to comment on the thick expanse of bare thigh that tapered off nicely into your calf, or the curve of your arms not hidden behind knit sweaters—hell even your fucking shoulders were hard not to look at. 

Maybe all those high school dress codes weren’t actually so full of shit after all. Cause he was definitely distracted by the way your neck swooped into the exposed skin of your shoulder and down your back on more than one occasion.

Did all girls know that? Was it some kind of massive conspiracy to crumble the patriarchy or some crap to go flashing bare shoulders everywhere? 

Regardless if you really were trying to hypnotize him into liking you, Tomura stayed resolutely in his monochrome, long sleeved attire, and if you noticed the behavior you never said a word. 

Never said a word about his allergy ridden skin, peeling lips or scarred throat. Never commented on his terrible posture or said his eyes were creepy. Even when he’d occasionally toss a negative remark your way, you never retaliated maliciously. Just brushed him off with a jovial ‘don’t be a dick’ and a playful, but hard slap to his chest or the back of his head. 

The two of you always met in the same, secluded room on the third floor. You’d talk with him in class sometimes or shoot him texts about random bits of inspiration or a late night game memes, but for the most part, your conversations were confined to that room. He found he preferred the study room ‘you’ best. You weren’t as stiff. There was more of a solidity to you, like he’d seen when you told off that Kai bastard. 

It...grew on him. 

He was irrationally anxious that there would be a time when you couldn’t secure this particular room—with it’s big monitor and comfy chairs and less annoying ‘you’—but he’d been reassured after your third work session. 

Someone had knocked softly at the thick, wooden door and a head of wild, bright pink hair peaked around the crack. 

“Sup bro,” the intruder quipped, as they stepped fully into the room. 

“Hey, Spinner,” you mumbled back, looking up momentarily from the essay portion of your presentation before going back to typing. 

Spinner had seemed to notice him at that point and offered a small wave in his direction. “Oh hey, sorry, thought you were alone,” he said quickly. 

“Nah, this is Tomura,” you said, glancing up again and jerking your thumb in his direction. 

Tomura nodded and tugged at his hoodie strings to stop from scratching under the newcomer’s gaze. He’d gotten used to you, but other people still made him a bit nervous. 

“Nice to meet you,” Spinner had a nice smile, bright and flashy when he spoke. He leaned against the door and crossed his arms, looking around the room. “You got the nice one, huh. How’d you manage that?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” you half closed your laptop and stretched a bit. “Jin was working the front desk, so I’ve just been bribing him with vending machine snacks.” 

“He hasn’t gotten himself fired yet?” Spinner laughed incredulously, but not unkindly. 

“Surprisingly not, but he’s completely corrupt now,” you were picking at the cuticle of your thumb and Tomura fixated on the way the skin split off at the nail. Just like his. “A couple packs of chips and a Monster and I get the most bitchin study room whenever I want.” 

“Damn,” Spinner chuckled again and Tomura really wished that he’d leave already. He was beginning to feel himself fading into the upholstery as the conversation left him in the dust. The divergence of your attention away from him or the project was even more annoying that you were. “Well, are you coming to The League meeting tonight? We’re busting out a Smash tournament.” 

“That’s tonight?” you asked, eyes perking up but sliding subtly in Tomura’s direction. “Sorry, I think Tomura and I are gonna be working on this project for a while longer and I’m kinda burnt out. But next time, yeah?”

Spinner rolled his eyes but nodded and kicked off the wall. “That’s not very sexy of you,” he chided and waved a hand in parting. “Gonna work yourself directly into the fucking grave.” 

“Jokes on you, I welcome death.” 

You buried yourself in the screen again and Tomura actually felt a bit grateful for you ending the conversation before he got too painfully awkward. 

But Spinner stopped before he left, looking Tomura up and down from the frayed strings of his black hoodie to the tips of his worn red sneakers. 

“Nice to meet you, man,” he said with a wide grin. “Feel free to tag along next time if you want, we always need more players.” 

The door clicked softly shut behind him and Tomura relaxed back into the silence.

He did end up tagging along—though he spent most of the time hanging off your heels like a lost puppy—to the next meeting of your gaming club and the one after that. Frustratingly enough, he learned that your interests did also extend into skills as you almost bested him in a few rounds Smash. Your profile, lit only by the flashing screen lights, was even more striking outside of his imagined imitations. 

So much so that it found its way into his head late at night when he was too tired to log onto his server. So much so that it had his cock growing firm and tenting his grey sweats without even the visual aid of his go to porn clips. So much so that sometimes, he felt inclined to do something about the throbbing between his legs. So much so that he thought about the way you picked the skin by your fingers. How it looked like his. How your hand might feel like his but softer. Smoother around the edges. With your sweet voice whispering in his ear, making him whine and pant and spill white ropes of release onto his stomach. 

But it was only because you were hot. 

And you were practically begging for him to jack off to the thought of you with those outfits and liking all the shit he liked and noticing when he shrunk away from conversations or including him in them when he started to feel that awful sense of fading into the background. 

Yeah. 

Everybody jerks it sometimes to their group project partners if their ass is nice enough. 

Right?

[stxleslyds]

I didn't realize how often I thought about this fandom until I started churning out asks on a daily basis.

Knowing DC's creative trends/talent in 1988/89, what do you think would have happened if fans voted for Jason's survival? From released alternative comic pages, Jason still gets blown up but survives.

Do you think they had a plan for him to become Hush (like the Death in the Family interactive "movie" implies)? Would he get a personality change through amnesia? Or would the comics have retired him to fade into obscurity?

WHAT IF…? BUT JASON TODD SURVIVES.

Hi friend! Thank you for the ask! This should be interesting.

But before I give my answer, let’s take a look at those pages where Jason had actually survived Joker’s attack.

From the second page we only can see one panel but some who have seen the entire, unreleased, page have said this about it:

“The full page reveals more, including the arrival of Dick Grayson to Jason’s hospital room, although a pencilled note in the margins says to strike him, and redraw the panels in favour of having Alfred in the scene instead. Dick rushed over as soon as he heard, and offered Bruce his help in tracking down the Joker.

In the published version of Batman #428, the same page depicts Jason’s funeral, where Alfred asks Bruce if he should get in touch with Dick Grayson. In both pages, Batman says roughly the same thing: “I’ll handle this by myself. No help from now on... that’s the way I want it.””

This makes me feel like Jason having survived or not the Joker’s attack would have resulted in the same outcome within Bruce. Dick shows up at the hospital to check on Jason and offers his help in tracking Joker to Bruce but Bruce doesn’t want his help because from that moment on “he works alone”.

That would lead to the same exact actions that happened with Jason dead. Bruce goes after Joker on his own and leaves up to fate if he dies or not (although he said that his issues with Joker never truly end, Batman (1940) #429),

And if Bruce pushes Dick away then we could also be having a scene like the one from The New Titans (1988) #55, where Bruce implies that Jason getting hurt was Dick’s fault for having moved on from Robin himself. If that happens then Dick would blame Bruce for putting Jason in danger way too soon and their fight will end up with Bruce kicking Dick out of the manor.

-

So, to answer your question, what would have happened if fans voted for Jason’s survival?

I think that DC would have turned Jason into another reason why Bruce thinks that all he could ever be is Batman. It would have made Bruce dark, moody and sad just like DC wanted, all darkness and no light.

Jason wouldn’t be dead but he wouldn’t be truly alive and they would use that to fuel the angst that surrounds Batman.

It is a very sad thing, but I actually think that Jason surviving the attack wouldn’t have had any impact on his own story, Jason’s suffering/death were set up to make Batman want to work alone again. I just don’t see DC back in the day working on Jason’s recovery (physical and mental), I see them leaving Jason comatose and as a reminder of one of Batman’s “failures”. Maybe in a distant future Jason could have woken up with amnesia and they could have done something with him then but I really don’t know how they could make that story work or if Jason would end up working as an ally or enemy of Batman.

Much like you said in the ask, I think that DC would have let the character of Jason Todd fade away,

-

Because that is a really sad answer, I decided to come up with other scenarios where I would give ideas of what I would have liked to see DC do, and what I would have done if I had existed back in the day!

What I would have liked to see DC do:

After setting the fact that Jason was left in a coma at the hospital after Joker’s attack, I think DC should have had Bruce making some extreme decisions. With Jason alive but not really there I think that DC could have made work a plot point that they tried to pull off with Jason dead.

In a comic event called ‘Underworld Unleashed’ the demon Neron offered bringing Jason back to life if Bruce gave him his soul in exchange. But with Jason alive I think that Bruce would have actually been even more tempted to take the offer if it meant that by giving his soul away, he could wake Jason up from the coma he was in. Then there could have been an event with magic users that made it possible so Bruce got his soul back or something. DC could have also had Jason have amnesia after Neron wakes him up so we would have a soulless Batman and amnesiac Jason trying to make their father/son relationship work (or not).

Another idea is Bruce making a different extreme decision where he asks Talia to help him find a Lazarus Pit to try his luck with Jason. Because Jason was in a coma and not dead the Pit would have actually worked (the Lazarus Pit cannot bring people back from the dead!). I imagine that if it worked then Bruce would owe Talia or Ra’s a favour, and that could make an interesting story, mostly if Jason Todd ends up mad at Bruce because he didn’t kill the Joker after he tried to kill him. (I do love chaos).

Maybe Jason could even join the LoA to make Bruce’s life difficult. He wouldn’t become the Red Hood but Jason becoming an assassin after all that could have been the perfect recipe for complete chaos and I love that. I think DC could make it work, this last part of the idea is kinda inspired by Young Justice's Jason Todd.

What I would have done if I wrote for DC at the time:

I would have taken Jason away from Bruce! I would have Dick appear out of nowhere and I would have him take Jason with him back to the Titans Tower so they can both be far away from Bruce (at least for a little while).

If this idea sounds familiar it might be because you read another “What if…?” post that I made about what I thought would happen if Jason hadn’t been found by Batman that night when Jason was stealing the Batmobile’s tires. I will link that post here!

This time Dick would obviously be taking Jason with him at a different time and he would actually try to train Jason a little bit more but Dick would also have Jason work on his trauma and then Jason would decide to leave the vigilante/hero life behind. But not completely because I still believe that Jason would still want to save people. He would also be very protective of his brother/best friend Dick Grayson, also known as Nightwing.

I just think that Dick could have handled the situation a lot better than Bruce, he would have made sure that Jason felt like him not being Robin anymore wasn’t because he was a failure but because he can help people in other ways. He would have made him go to therapy and would have been more willing to share his own experiences with him.

I would have Jason studying to become a paramedic again (a different kind of hero) and this time he could also practice on the Titans when they got hurt in battle, if he did that then he could end up being an excellent medic for all superheroes!

I mean, in the Titans there are humans, aliens, metas, amazons and atlanteans. Jason could actually become DC’s very own version of Marvel’s ‘Night Nurse’. I don’t know, I love that idea and I think @hood-ex would like it too!

I just love the idea of Jason and Dick becoming each other's family. The Titans would also become Jason's family but he would be very protective of Dick. I just feel like Jason would have seen the whole thing (of Dick taking him to live together) as a fresh start after such a horrible experience.

I love Red Hood but I also love the idea of Jason becoming something completely different from that and this is one of my favourite ideas!

-

Oh! Before I forget, I think that the idea of Jason becoming Hush in the ‘Death in the Family’ movie comes directly from the fact that Jason “was” Hush for a second in the Batman: Hush comic. That was revealed to us in UtRH, Jason gave the real Hush all the information that he needed to get under Batman’s skin. And then when “Hush” captured Tim and he showed his face that was actually Jason who then changed places with Clayface to confuse Bruce more.

So, yeah, I don’t think DC had planned on making Jason become Hush.

Thank you so much for the ask! I hope the answer was good and that you have a fantastic week!

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 327 Spoiler Analysis: Home Sweet Home

OH MY GOD, GUYS!!!  DEKU GETS A BATH!!!! 🎉🛁 🧼   My broccoli boy finally gets squeaky clean, gets some sleep, and we finally get some R&R time with the Class 1-A kids.  It’s not close to the happy-go-lucky days of old, but it’s some time with the kids nonetheless.  I’m glad Horikoshi put some heart and humor in this chapter because god knows we needed it.  But, let’s be real, this is the calm before the storm:

The chapter starts off with what everyone and Horikoshi has been wanting for Deku since he went on his mission: A motherfuckin’ bath 🛀 🧼🛁!   Kaminiari and Kirishima lead the Class 1-A boys to carry Deku into their side of the UA Alliance bathhouse (looks real nice btw) and give him a good power-wash.  The whole sequence is very comical!  The boys are rushing in and poor Deku has this O_O face on him like “what is happening?” 😂 We also see some of the boys butt naked 😳  It’s clear that Horikoshi had fun drawing this thing and it was fun to read 💚

Bakugo is with them of course and you can actually see his scars from when Shigaraki stabbed him.  He’s not bleeding, but you can see those scar patches on his skin.  I’m curious of how fan artist are going to draw him from now on.  I would like to see that fan art 👀

There’s also some bubble sfx coving Bakugo’s crotch and a translator said it might say dick or penis.  I’m curious what the officials will say.

But, Bakugo being Bakugo is still aggressive towards his classmates.  More playfully than before, but still.  He reminds everyone that he still intends on being the best there is and that everyone is still his rivals (also friends, Bakugo).  HE EVEN MAKES AN ATTEMPT TO CALL DEKU IZUKU!  LIKE HE ALMOST SAID “DEKU” BUT HE CHANGED IT TO IZUKU AT THE LAST MINUTE!  AND DEKU SAYS THAT CALLING HIM DEKU IS JUST FINE LIKE THAT ANGER THAT ORIGINATED FROM THE NICKNAME ISN’T THERE ANYMORE AND IT’S A FREINDLY NICKNAME BKDK FRIENDSHIP GROWTH YOU LOVE TO SEE IT 🧡💚  

After Deku’s bath, he’s sitting in the commons talking to the rest of Class 1-A.  Well, most of them.  Mina tells Deku that Ochako and a few other students went to bed after everything became ok again.  So, I definitely didn’t see Tsuyu, and it looks like Shoji, Aoyama, and Hagakare weren’t in this chapter either.  Ochako I understand; her speech must’ve been emotionally taxing.  Aoyama and Hagakare are the top suspects for being the traitor in the fandom and this isn’t helping their cases.  I don’t know about Tsuyu and Shoji though.  They’re both mutant-types, but characters like Ojiro or mutant-like people like Jiro, Mina or Tokoyami didn’t get outcasted.  Horikoshi did hint that Shoji would be getting something soon.  But, I really am just speculating here.

Now that Deku’s back, everyone has questions for him.  Though I understand why, this has gotta be overwhelming for Deku.  At least they’re not mad at him for hiding OFA.  They seem very understanding actually.

Then my ❄️🔥 boy, Shoto Todoroki, comes in all handsome right out of the baths 💙  He’s drying his right side while you can see a steam cloud on his left.  So, it is canon that Shoto drys himself naturally with his heat. His entrance is so pretty that even Mineta’s questioning it (shut up, Mineta, you’ll never be as beautiful as him).  And yes, I might be a Shoto simp, don’t judge me I see y’all too 👀

Anyway, Shoto asks everyone to let Deku sleep since that was pretty much the whole reason they brought him back.  Problem is, Deku can’t because he really needs to apologize to All Might for abandoning him.  AND AFTER HE SAYS THAT THERE’S A DETAILED PANEL OF SHOTO POINTING TO ALL MIGHT LIKE “UH, MIDORIYA? HE’S RIGHT THERE” AND ALL MIGHT LOOKING FROM THE WINDOW LIKE A HORROR VILLAIN WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE 😭

All Might comes in and apologizes to Deku for not being able to support him when he needed it, but Deku says that All Might support him more than enough.  Mina also scolds All Might for not saying anything when he left.  She wants All Might to apologize to everyone for that.  Though I’m glad Deku and All Might have reconciled (I honestly thought that last convo between them was going to be THE LAST for a hot minute), Mina has a point.  All Might did bail on all of them without any warning.  Kinda messed up in general.

All Might apologizes and he is going to fight with everyone regardless of his physical state so that he can see that flame continue to shine.  However, he warns the kids that they got info on the villains and that the final decisive battle is coming soon.  If the whole “Final Arc” thing hasn’t been hammered into your head, there you go.  I’m also glad that Stain’s speech did end up motivating All Might further.  Who knew?

So, All Might is off to help Endeavor since he’s got unfinished business to take care of.  But, the kids are wondering why Endeavor (and probably Hawks) isn’t entering UA entirely yet.  Shot reminds them that Endeavor is still connected to Dabi and that his presence alone would cause more discourse.  People’s minds can’t change that easily.  Shoto of all people would know.  

As Deku FINALLY SLEEPS 💤 and Shoto puts a blanket over him (possibly warmed by his left side 🔥) 💙💚 Shoto acknowledges how his presence might be making people anxious too even though it’s not his fault at all (thank you, Kirishima for doubling down on this btw ❤️🪨).  But, things are different and Shoto’s going to show that so that everyone can be at ease like he wants as a hero.  There’s even this sweet small smile on his beautiful face as he says this.  He’s grown so much and he’s pretty to boot I love him so much *HANDS IN FACE* 💙❄️🔥 

EVEN KIRISHIMA’S CRYING FROM HOW MANLY SHOTO IS I LOVE THESE KIDS!!!!

And now Jiro steps up and says her piece.  That she knows how hard it is to convince everyone to change their minds for the better.  Like with those two critics from the Culture Fest.  Even so, they accomplished this before, so she thinks they can do it again.  She even gathers all the band members to emphasize on this.  I love how Jiro uses her earphone jacks to rally the band and how she literally drags Bakugo by the shirt for a cute group shot.  None of these kids are afraid of Bakugo anymore LOL 😂!  Also, Momo is the tallest out of all of them in this line up shot (except for Bakugo who’s still being dragged on the ground).  I think she’s roughly 5ft 6-7 inches?  She’s the tallest of the girls I know that, but damn.  She towers all of them.  Even me...  She’s also very pretty in this shot and it’s her birthday as I’m posting this, so happy b-day Momo ❤️

And we get a beautiful panel of Jiro leading everyone to make sure that they’ll go beyond with making everything better than it was before.  We get a nice group shot of the rest of the class agreeing with her with a smile including Shoto with a small one (did I mention that I love him?) 💙💙💙 And Deku’s in the center still sleeping away.  I hope he has good dreams *kisses forehead*💚  And go Jiro for stepping up to the plate too 💜!  All these kids have grown so much.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Finally, the last pages show Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist going somewhere, maybe Tartarus.  They got info out of Dr. Ujiko via polygraph and the Nomu Research Group at Central Hospital.  They predict that they have 2 months until Shigaraki’s ready to go again, so they’ll need 1 month of preparation.  But, the info Stain gave All Might gave them more info.  His letter ended up being a personal letter to All Might (Stain really is that nuts...), but there was a microchip in the blade Stain left containing the security records from Tartarus.  It’s not stated how this info affected the mission at hand, but it sounds like it has to do something with the time frame.  So, I’m curious if they have less time to prepare or more?  Given how this is the Final Arc, Imma say less.

Finally, the teaser asks “How are the villains moving?”  I wonder if that means we’re switching to the villain’s next week.  I would love to hang out with the kids more, but I would also like to know what our villains are up to.  Like, where the hell is Himiko Toga?  Is Spinner still questioning shit?  What happened to Mr. Compress after he mauled himself to help Shigaraki and the others escape?  Also I think we need more info on this dude’s backstory given he’s the grandson of the famous Robin Hood villain who’s name definitely didn’t escape me... 😐  Is Dabi laughing his ass off from the utter chaos he started?  Is AFO still smiling like the evil mastermind he is?  Is Shigaraki as crispy as he was earlier?  I was going to ask about Twice but... 😭

So, yeah!  Love this chapter.  Really good transition chapter into whatever happens next.  I’m kinda sad we didn’t see Deku fight off more past villains during his vigilante days.  We got Muscular and Overhaul and I think that’s it?  Didn’t see any of Overhaul’s minions or that teeth-blade villain (Fish-something?; he broke out, but we haven’t seen him since) or Re-Destro or his goons.  I don’t count as Gentle or LaBrava as villains anymore and they were never truly evil to begin with.  Regardless, it was a really cool arc to see a more dark side of Deku.  I’m really glad Horikoshi made great use of his bunny hood and metal mask finally.  Deku really did look demonic for some time.  Also, seeing Deku badass is always a plus.  And seeing the deconstruction of hero society and the possible reconstruction of it was really good too.  Not everything is sunshine and rainbows, unfortunately, but we can do our best to make it that way.

I’m also glad that we finally got our kids back in top form.  Not just being heroes, but being teenagers too.  They all had great moments especially Iida, Ochako, and now Shoto as they should.  But, Bakugo’s apology was peak for me.  Over 320 chapters of development and build-up lead to that moment and it really is one of the best in the series.  It lives in my head rent free.

So, we got 1-2 months in-manga-time until what is probably the final battle of the series.  God, I can’t believe we’re actually nearing the end of this series.  I started reading it back in 2018 when shit was rough for me. I found this series after listening to the music and reading the hype around it.  I watched the show then I read the manga and it really helped me.  Saved me from a dark place actually.  I will miss this series when it’s done and I will be greatly for the joy Horikoshi has gifted us.  I’ll try to save the farewells for later.  I’d say this series has at least 1-1 1/2 years to go.

Me @ the kids and All Might:

[gilly-bj]

Why the “Eremika kiss” doesn’t affect Rivamika at all

In the new chapter, we saw for the first time something that we didn’t expect to happen in the manga: a kiss, between Mikasa and (dead)Eren, probably not like we all imagined. This kiss hit everyone hard, also the Eremika shippers, who weren’t very happy with the fact that Eren was already dead when Mikasa kissed him. Eremikas unfortunately weren’t the only ones sad, also lots of Rivamikas had this feeling and, I was one of them.

When the chapter came out and I saw Mikasa kissing Eren, I literally crashed (windows.exe stopped working); my whole body stopped working and the only sensible thought I could elaborate was: “Wait, WTF!”. After I scraped together that quantity of calm that could make me, at least, sit down, I started to write posts that I’ve already eliminated, so don’t look for them because I made them disappear, because my opinions changed radically.

Quick note for you guys from your G: in these cases, don’t write immediately what you’re thinking in that exact moment. I was incredibly frustrated, so the posts I wrote were full of complaints. I didn’t analyzed the kiss from other prospectives, because for me it was only the “eremika kiss”. Remember to wait at least the traduction of the chapter, official or not; you’ll have enough time to reflect on it and elaborate opinions lucidly.

Anyway, in this post I’ll talk about three things:

Eremika’s conversation and Mikasa’s dream

The kiss and why it doesn’t affect Rivamika

Final considerations about RM

The subheadings are written in their own special colour, so if you’re not interested in one of them, it will be easier to find the other.

Let’s start!

• Eremika’s conversation and Mikasa’s dream.

Mikasa has an headache and she wake up in her ideal world, where she lives with Eren in a isolated cabin in the woods. This chapter is from Mikasa’s pov, and note that her perfect image of home is again showed, probably for the last time. I think that Mikasa’s feelings for Eren were kinda obvious, apart from the fact that I never liked or supported them, they are here and we can’t do anything against them.

But I’ve never imagined to see that kind of selfish dream from Mikasa; she is the girl who always cares for everyone, the one who is ready to sacrifice herself for the well-being of her friends, the one who loves them and support them independently from the situation. To be honest, it hurts to see that in her dream, Armin isn’t with them; if there wasn’t Levi, my shipper heart would have hurt but I’d understand, they aren’t so close yet, but Armin, they’ve grown together.

But I’m not mad at Mikasa, each of us has a selfish dream deep inside, where we’d rather sacrifice others to save our special person; it doesn’t mean that we don’t love them, it’s just, if we’d have to choose, we’d prefer to keep safe only him or her. Let me explain better my point with an example: imagine a man who lives in a country at war; he has the possibility to save just two people and he has to choose between his wife and daughter or his parents. He would probably save his wife and daughter, but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love his parents. Choosing between the people we love is the most painful thing in the world, but sometimes we just have to do it, and in Mikasa’s case, she’d choose Eren.

Anyway, before talking about the conversation, I want to analyze a little detail: during her all dream, Mikasa and Eren are in their teen form, why? Well, my interpretation is that Mikasa is still in love with the old Eren and she can’t understand the new one, indeed, one she said: “I’ll bring the old Eren back”. Even if she doesn’t completely understand him, she still loves him, and that’s why I adore Mikasa.

Anyway, let’s analyze better their conversation:

Eren wakes Mika up and he states their situation in that moment, how they ran away leaving the others to their cruel destiny. Now, do we all agree how that doesn’t fit Eren’s character, at all. His most famous line is “Fight if you want to win”, which it shows how brave he is; if he’d run away with Mikasa, he would act like a coward, and he can’t accept cowardice.

And here, Mikasa’s biggest regret: the answer she gave to Eren; remeber when she said: “If only I gave him another answer”, and in her dream she probably did: thanks to Eren’s words, we can assume that Mikasa told him to run away with her, to leave everything, probably what she wanted to answer in the reality. I interpreted that scene from chapter 123 like a Mikasa who couldn’t answer because taken by surprise, and then came up with a thing she didn’t mean who is still harassing her.

Let’s say that the Eren in the previous panels was Mikasa’s idealized version, but then something changes. Look at Eren’s face:

The marks. And why did they appear casually? Because, this is the true Eren, the one they are going to kill, the one who wanted to give his probably last message to Mikasa, and in fact the most important part of the conversation: “Please...Mikasa, forget about me”. At this point, I really don’t understand what the Eremika shippers found romantic in this chapter, the fact that the last thing Eren said to Mikasa is “forget about me” made things clear enough. We can notice that Eren entered her dream by the falcon here, funny that Mikasa is actually flying on Falco right now.

I really started to appreciate Mikasa and Eren’s relationship thanks to this chapter; even if I wasn’t, and I am not, a big fan of the Eremika ship, thinking about their relationship made me a bit sad. Anyway, I love the fact that Eren wanted to tell this to Mikasa, I think he deeply want her to live a life without him, because he’s already understood that they have different life goals, different way of thinking, different natures.

Before skipping to the next point, I noticed that many Rivamika shippers’ve already talked about the similarity between Eren and Levi in some of the panels, I’m not going to dwell because I‘ll write a different post about it, but I wanted to say that it can’t be just a coincidence, Levi and Eren’s haircuts are very different and there’s no way to confuse them. I don’t know why Isayama did this; maybe it’s a foreshadowing, or maybe he just wanted to trol us (it’s always him), I’ll just wait patiently April to see if my assumptions are right 😌

• The kiss and why it doesn’t affect Rivamika at all

Ah this kiss, this damn kiss. Uff, let me sit down and let’s talk about it.

So, Mikasa decides to kill Eren and she enters his mouth thanks to Levi’s help. The first thing she sees is Eren’s head, and I think we should already stop and analyze better this moment.

Look at his expression: he seems kinda... happy and, maybe also proud. Why? Because Mikasa finally decided to do the right thing, she chose Humanity, she sacrificed him, the person she loves the most, for the others. That’s her development. Even if she’ll never forget him, she chose to be selfless over selfish, and I’m glad she decided to remember Eren; it’s awful to forget to ones we loved in the past, we shouldn’t forget them, after all, they made us feel beautiful things, thanks to them we gained fantastic memories, why should we completely remove them from our life? Feelings can change, they will change, and Mikasa will change her romantic feelings towards Eren, it’s simply natural, but asking her to forget him is cruel; Levi won’t forget his dead friends, Armin won’t forget his grandfather, Eren won’t forget his mum, and it’s beautiful this way.

Now, let’s get into the spicy of this post: the kiss. Let me the transform in a love specialist (I’m nobody XD). I really don’t see anything romantic in it. Really, is probably the most tragic and sad among Eremika’s interactions because it shows how Mikasa’s feelings have never been reciprocated; she already tried to kiss him, in season 2, and he “rejected” her (that wasn’t a explicit reject but, if I’m not wrong, he didn’t try the Coordinate before so he didn’t know if it worked, he preferred to risk his life instead of kissing her. Actually, that’s also Eren’s personality), and now, yeah she managed to kiss him, but he was dead, he couldn’t kiss her back, couldn’t say anything, couldn’t reject her. I think that at this point, Mikasa already knew Eren wasn’t in love with her, she isn’t stupid, and she saw that kiss as a way to set herself free completely, to close a chapter of her life.

Another thing: I really don’t understand how can EM shippers say that Eremika is canon just because they kissed, sorry, Mikasa kissed him?? A simple kiss doesn’t make a couple canon, you have to analyze the feelings behind it. Why many of them can’t simply analyze a bit the story? Just, a bit...

• Final considerations and Rivamika

When I saw many Rivamika shippers being so happy about this chapter I really couldn’t understand, like “why are they happy if Mikasa literally kissed Eren?”. Well, at first I was very confused, the posts I read made me feel relieved, but... I wasn’t 100% convinced yet, because I was listening only to what the others said, I didn’t have my own opinion. I could see only the kiss (as a negative thing), and not all the foreshadowings we got in this chapter.

I have a certain theory but I will write a separated post about it, here, let’s discuss why that kiss isn’t a problem for us RM shippers. So, my biggest fear was that Mikasa’d live her all life mourning Eren and wouldn’t open herself to someone new, not necessarily Levi lying. Anyway, like I said before, please don’t stress yourself with rushed considerations, it’s just useless. I think that the kiss acted like as a springboard for Rivamika; like I said before, I interpreted it as a way to set herself free completely, to not have regrets because obviously, it was a thing that Mika wanted to do. Levi’s extreme care for her in this chapter, his determination when he saw that she ready to do this such painful thing made me... fly. They fought together until the end showing for the last time their chemistry and fantastic dynamic. Their interactions in this chapter were really special and I hope that there’ll be more in the future, maybe not only as a team;)

In conclusion, I loved this chapter so much, I can consider it as my favorite because, it gave me chills, for real.

I’ll start to work on my theory so yeah, this post isn’t ended yet lol. Stay tuned because there, I’ll talk only about RM so it will be... maybe more interesting from a shipper’s view. Tell me what you think about this in the comments 💜!

[just-like-playing-tag]

A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2020 - June 13, 2021

2019-2020

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: It's our first morning

Date: Aug 20th, 2020 Time: ~ 2:18 h I really like how this one turned out!!! The 2020 Emma b-day edit has a lot of major panel redraws, but this is probably my favorite. I I really enjoy how I made the shadows work!! And the ear banfage looks pretty neat. Nice!!! Immagine

#2: Norman birthday edit 2021

Date: Mar 20th, 2021 Time: ~ 2:21 h Awww, soft Norman :') There was a bit to redraw, but I think everything turned out pretty neat!!! I believe everything works out fine. Though looking back at it, the part of the ID I added is definitely top small :')

#3: Manga dub: Yuugo gets knocked out

Date: Mar 27th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:05 h Here start the Manga Dub redraws to which I gave my everything ahah. This one turned out nice! I think the shoes turned out particularly good eheh. I like how Yuugo's clothing lineart- for the texture, I wanted to go for something heterogeneous, but I'm not fully confident in the final result. Gilda looks very rushed but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#4: Manga dub: Yuugo makes his dramatic entrance

Date: Apr 5th, 2021 Time: ~ 4:02 h This is pretty cool!!!! The coat took ages to redraw, but sis it turned out perfect!!! I'm very proud of this.

#5: Manga dub: RayGildEmma hug!!!

Date: Apr 9th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:31 h Awww, a beautiful panel I was really happy to have the chance to redraw. Taking into account what there was to redraw, I'm actually surprised with how little this took! Ray's backpack was a pain to make, but I think it turned out fine. I'm very happy with Emma and Ray's heads!!

#6: Manga dub: Formalities

Date: Apr 12th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:31 h It is not always easy to give sense to Demizu's perspective, but I do my best!!! In this I am *so* happy with how Don and Ray turned out, they look neat! The background on the other hand... It took hours to make ahah. I'm not fully confident in the perspective, but I'm happy with the details I've added- I really did my best to make it look like athe other manga panels and I think it paid off!!!

#7: Manga dub: We may be weaklings, but we're still alive

Date: Apr 30th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:37 h This little Emma is so cute!!!!!! I think the redraw turned out pretty perfect. I'm really satisfied with how this one turned out, and it's such a cute little Emma!!!! She's so brave and optimistic, I love her. It's a shame this panel didn't make it to the episode :')

#8: Manga dub: Goldy Pond Gang

Date: May 7th, 2021 Time: ~ 8:44 h lmao This is probably the panel redraw I'm the most proud of ever :') Just think everyone turned out very nice!! The ceiling is not exactly perfect, but it still works somehow. I'm very happy with how Gillian's back turned out!! I don't really like the fading effect on the right, but 8h in I got pretty tired of working on this ahah

#9: Manga dub: This is Goldy Pond

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 1:29 h I'm very glad for how the Manga dub has been challenging me to learn to redraw backgrounds, something I had quite literally never tried before. It can be a little frustrating, but it's so satisfying to see the final cleaned piece!! With this panel, I also learnt to use copy and paste, which is something I had never done before beyond texture

#10: Manga dub: Good morning doctor

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 3:42 h This is another background that turned out pretty good!! That one Norman is one I knew I would have had to fully redraw sooner or lager- the background was a bonus ahah. I'm very happy with the final result!!

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: The Promised Neverland manga ending edit

Date: Jun 14th 2020 Time: ~ 12h 41min (5h 45min of cleaning panels in the edit + 5h 37min of cleaning panels that didn't make it to the edit + 1h 19min of resizing) + time spent cleaning panels I've deleted the file of so I can't see lmao This is overall very nice!!! The concept of an Emma evolution through her back is cool, and I think overall the edit turned out very aesthetically pleasing. The concept idea came to me while I was working on the 2019 Emma's birthday edit, a long time before the manga ending announcement- back then I wouldn't have imagined using it in occasion of the manga ending, but I think it ended up making a nice tribute. The colors add a nice touch, since so far my edits had always been black and white- it makes a sweet closure. To make that edit I selected 76 panels of Emma framed from her back; I plan to make other versions of that edit using the discarded panels eventually!

#2: Emma - Chapter 181: Beyond Destiny

Date: Jul 12th 2020 Time: 2h 57min My last edit for the manga 🥺🥺 I think this one is my very "manga ending edit" because to me it really signed the ending of weekly chapters and their weekly chapter edits. It makes me a little sad to look at it, but it's also, I don't know, kinda sweet to see how I grew both in my panel cleaning and as a person since I first started my blog. I'm glad I got into TPN!

#3: Emma birthday edit 2020

Date: Aug 22nd 2020 Time: 8h 54min This one turned out so well!!! Though I used the same concept for all the trio edits, I think this one is the best one. The two panels on the left / two panels on the right alternation combo never fails ahah. The colors are nice (shout-out to my sister for making me a palette), despite the fact that it was hard for the lighter ones to make them work with the images without having those disappear. I'm very satisfied with the panels I chose for this, I think they work really good together! Also, it got me very happy to read everyone's comments saying they liked the fading effect in the last panel :)

#4: Emma + Eyes Close Ups [1/?]

Date: Jan 24th 2021 Time: 5h 55min This one was really nice!! Another idea I got when working on the 2019 Emma birthday edit I was glad to finally execute. Started the edit in September, finished it in December. I'm overall very happy with how it turned out... I hope I will be able to make more in the future!

#5: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (9/?) » 114 // 122

Date: Feb 23th 2021 Time: 5h 7min (panel cleaning only) Aaaaahh I really like this one!!!! A parallel I love very much, and I'm really happy with how the edit turned out. All the hair redrawing looks neat!!!! The gif is maybe a little excessive, but I think overall it's a nice edit. I like it!!! Fun fact, I completed it on August 26th 2020, but I couldn't find the right moment to post it ahah.

Honorable mention: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (5/?) » 08 // 16

Date: Aug 30th 2020 Time: 2h 52min (Second picture cleaning only; I deleted the first picture art file so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) I don't have much to say about this one except!! It turned out very nice!!!!! Love the pen lmao.

Top 10 analysis:

Too many analysis,,

#1: Post chapter 181 Emma analysis

Date: Jul 9th 2020 Mmmh a nice analysis. I think it was important for me to put down in words what I think of Emma's characterization and the manga ending, so I'm happy I did it!

#2: A long Oliver analysis because I love him very much

Date: Dec 6th 2020 What can I say I just love Oliver tons 😔😔💕💕 This was very fun to make!!!

#3: TPN s2 previsions

Date: Jan 14th 2021 Really love the effort that went into this + me proving that 11 episodes GP could have possibly worked + it's just a lot of fun to read again after s2 ended pffft

#4: More s2 delusional previsions lmao

Date: Jan 27th 2021 I think the points and previsions I made where pretty neat!! In my defense, it was pretty impossible to predict the anime would have ended with this season. I always feel honoured when friends and Anon ask for my opinion, I'm like "you wanna know what I think? Wow. I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍) " Thank you to anyone who ever sent me an ask!!

#5: Why Emma not wearing pants is 𝕨𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘

Date: Jan 29th 2021 Really proud of this!!! Pants Emma is important!!!!!

#6: Post episode 5 manga Emma analysis

Date: Feb 4th 2021 A depressed analysis, but a necessary one 😔

#7: Norman analysis

Date: Feb 12th 2021 I love him!!!! And I'm happy I eventually got to put down in words what I love about his character. The day I posted this ww3.readneverland was in maintenance so I couldn't use the volume scans for it- the thought of that post having fan edited and fan translated scans still haunts me

#8: RayDon rambles

Date: May 12th 2021 I had a blast writing this and like. It's likely the post of mine I reread more often of them all. I love this ship tons!!!!! I'm satisfied with how I put down in words what I like about them. I LOVE THIS SHIP

#9: Chapter 58 analysis

Date: May 23th 2021 I've wanted to express this concept since like the first time reading the manga- I'm so happy I finally did!!!! This concept is one of my absolute favorite things about tpn- the feelings that people are good. The concept that kids who got to live in an healthy and supportive environment will always be inclined to kindness and altruism, because humans are just inherently good. From the Three Character Classic: “people at birth are inherently good”. I want to have faith and courage to hold on the goodness in myself, and to hold on the goodness in the world, no matter how difficult it to do that (Chloé Zhao).

#10: Norman and Lambda squad relationship analysis

Date: May 24th 2021 I think this was a pretty sharp analysis and I like what I did with it!!

Other stuff:

#1: Krone birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th 2020 This edit is so good ;; Like not perfect since it was my first attempt at coloring gifs but still I believe it turned out so good ;;;;;; The time and effort that went unto this is crazy, but... Maybe I'm happy to have dedicated time to something I like for a satisfying result.

#2: Get to know my ship- Wolfpack Trio

Date: Aug 24th 2020 Uuuh a good post. A good ship.

#3: Gilda + blank glasses

Date: Aug 27th 2020 This is such a cute nice compilation!!! I love looking at it. A few panels are missing but still :')

#4: Apollo Ray AU

Date: Sep 7th 2020 (Though it was written Sep 2nd 2019 lmao) I'm so happy I finally gathered the courage to post this 😭😭 I really enjoy what I did with this AU, so this one and its other installments are all posts I have a lot of fun rereading. More than everything, I was astounded and overjoyed by the positive response it got: that gave me tons of confidence to put my ideas out there, no matter how unique they sound!!! Here's to hoping I will be able to post my RayEmma Hadestown AU, by other big AU from late summer 2019 :')

#5: TPN timeline project

Date: Dec 2nd 2020 This is like. I don't know it's a lot ahah. Arguably the project I'm the most proud of ever making. I'm just so happy of all the months long hard work and of the final result!! The post didn't receive much response (though the ones I got were extremely kind and sweethearted so that totally makes up for it), but in the end I don't really mind? I'm just so proud I accomplished that idea :')

#6: TPN calendar

Date: Jan 4th 2021 A nice sum of the tpn timeline + everyone's birth dates!!! I really like how it turned out visually. It's a cute little tpn calendar!!!

#7: Ray smiles compilation

Date: Jan 17th 2021 Ray's smile. That's it that's the post :')

#8: Trans Oliver headcanons

Date: Jan 24th 2021 MMMH really like this headcanon I think about it a lot

#9: Thoma and Lani theory

Date: Jan 28th 2021 I really don't want to brag but this is the best joke I've ever made :')

#10: My TPN AUs

Date: May 10th 2021 Ok you gotta admit those are very good AUs, I'm glad to have made a list out of them!!!

#11: Ranking Emma promotional art outfits

Date: May 16th 2021 This is one people seem to have liked a lot which makes me happy ahah. I'm glad to know we can all agree Emma deserves more pants outfits!! Please stop it with the gendered clothing :') This is the post I want to be remembered for

#12: TPN musicals AU part 2

Date: May 20th 2021 A GREAT POST I can't stretch enough how happy I am with those character-song associations. I hope I have time to make a part 3 in the future!!

#13: TPN Drive folder

Date: May 30th 2021 This was born as a way for me to have all the tpn extra contents easily accessible, but I'm happy to have shared it with people- I hope it will turn out to be useful to others too!

#14: TPN s2 recolorings

Date: Jun 12th 2021 A more diverse children cast is good for the soul :')

That's it, this year was really fun!! Thank you to everyone who supported me through it, I can't express how grateful I am for all the kindness and validation I received. Here's to many more months in the fandom!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

[thicctails]

Summer Of Whump Days 16 + 19 [Touch-Starved/Hope]

Happy Father’s Day! Have toothpick dad figuring out how to get his adike outta space prison.

Crosshair pressed his forehead against the wall of his bunk, gritting his teeth. His head was pounding, the ache radiating from the left side and seeping down through his skull and spreading into the rest of his mind. It had been a steadily building pain, starting when that damn animal had hit him with its tail. He’d dodged going to a medic, instead choosing to spend his free time trying to sleep the migraine off. So far, it hadn’t worked.

 He pulled his pillow over his head when a slight ringing started to form in his ears. The sound grew and grew and grew, until all he could hear was the unyielding, skull-piercing ringing.

 Then, silence.

 Crosshair blinked.

 It was like a huge drop of cold water had been dropped on him, shocking him back to reality. He sat up, running a hand over his face. The guilt and disbelief of his actions had him reeling for a moment. He’d almost killed his vod'ika, would have had Omega not sacrificed herself. He went a little pale at the memory of what state the girl had been in when they’d been picked up. Whatever had happened on that Jedi cruiser, it had been ugly, and he felt a ripple of burning shame rush through him when he thought about how much it must have hurt to stand in front of him like she had.

 He slid off of his bunk, not bothering to grab his helmet. He needed to go see her, make sure her burns were getting properly treated. It had been a day and a half, had anyone gone to change her bandages? Checked in on her? Fed her? Likely not, as he seemed to be the only one here who understood how important it was for her to remain alive and healthy. That was still top priority, but now it was for different reasons.

 He had to get them out of here, back to his vode and out of the Empire’s reach. Omega’s existence was proof that the Kaminoans had successfully managed to create an artificial Force-sensitive being, and the thought of them creating an army of Force-sensitive clones with inhibitor chips sent a chill down his spine.

 No. He’d find a way out of this outpost and off of the planet before they were due to make the trip back to Kamino. He’d have to find a way to get the chip out, maybe go back to Bracca? Then he’d find a way back to his batchmates and they’d disappear. Good. Yes. Great plan.

 Pausing, he stepped behind a wall as a group of troopers marched past. They had come from the direction of the prison cell. He scowled at them silently, fighting the itch to end their lives. He needed to be subtle, cunning, and stealthy, which meant he couldn’t let his temper flare up, lest he risk being discovered.

 Once the coast was clear, he slipped out from behind the wall and approached the room door. He put in the password and stepped inside once the door slid open. His eyes widened upon seeing that someone new had been put into the cell. The kid was tugging at a thick, black collar, a red light blinking rapidly. He jolted suddenly, his muscles spasming as he was electrocuted.

 “Cal!” Omega cried, reaching out to him. Her own collar began to blink rapidly, and she yelped when the same happened to her. Pillow, who was chained against the, was honking loudly, the sound sounding more like short roars now. He was the one to first notice Crosshair, and he snarled at the clone, his tail smashing against the wall. The stone cracked under the force, bits of the wall crumbling away.

 “Shh!” He hissed, putting a finger up to his lips. “Do you want to get into even more trouble?”

 The two children gasped when he spoke, their eyes widening in fear. The boy, named Cal, apparently, glared at Crosshair. He moved in front of Omega, shielding her as best he could. His collar beeped, but not enough to activate the electric shock. Omega peered at him, her large brown eyes wet with unshed tears.

 “Crosshair?” She asked, her voice sounding strained. The collar was probably pressing against her already bruised throat.

 “It’s me, ad’ika.” He said softly, kneeling down. “I’m back, at least for now.”

 Omega brightened, her face splitting into a wide grin. She shuffled forward, but the other kid remained firm. He didn’t move from his spot, and Crosshair could practically feel the anger and mistrust rolling off him in waves.

 “How do we know we can trust you?” He snapped.

 “You don’t, but you’re going to have to.” Crosshair replied. “We need to get out of here. Fast. A transport vessel will be here before the week is out, and we need to be gone before that happens.”

 “Well in case you haven’t noticed,” Cal pointed to the collar on his neck, “we’re kinda trapped here. These collars shock us every time we try and use the Force.”

 “And Pillow is stuck over there!” Omega chimed in, gesturing to where said amphibian was straining against the short chain that was keeping him trapped. “We can’t leave without him!”

 Crosshair hummed, peering at the collars. There was a small slit on each one, a lock that would need a certain key card to open. A key card that he didn’t have.

 “I’ll find a way to get those off. Until then, try to refrain from getting electrocuted.” He said, standing back up.

 A small growl sounded out, and Omega looked at her stomach in embarrassment.

 “Sorry. I haven’t eaten since…” She brought a hand to her chin. “Just over two days ago, I think? The last thing I ate was a ration bar on the ship before we got to Bracca.”

 A memory flashes through his head. He’s young, still learning how to fight, and he and his brothers have failed a test. They end up not being given rations for the day. He remembered it being especially hard on Hunter and Wrecker, who even at that age, burned more calories that the rest of them. He remembered feeling sluggish and unusually weak, his stomach growling like a wild animal as it ate away at itself. They had all felt miserable, and it had served as a good motivator to not fail next time.

 Crosshair growled, the sound reverberating in his chest. “These animals- I’ll be back in a moment. Remain here.” He spun around and stomped back out of the room.

 “We don’t have a choice!” Cal called, huffing when the door simply slid shut. The freckled boy turned to look at Omega. “Do you really trust him?”

 Omega nodded. “He’s not a bad person, he was just being made to do bad things.”

 Cal sighed and gave her a slight smile. “Okay, if you say so.”

    Crosshair returned about a half hour later, a bag slung over his shoulders. He pressed a few buttons on the control panel, locking the door before moving deeper into the room. Omega looked up from her place on the floor, gritting her teeth when as she sat forward. Cal was sat next to her, the two of them having moved over to where Pillow was. The pale creature was sleeping, forced to rest sitting up due to the chain on the wall being attached to his muzzle. Crosshair gave Omega sympathetic look, kneeling down again so that he was closer to being eye level with her and Cal.

 “Okay adike, lets get some food in you so you don’t end up looking like me.” He joked, reaching forward and unlocking their cuffs.

 He reached into the bag and produced two wrapped squares, passing a sandwich to both kids. Omega thanked him excitedly and quickly took the offered food. Cal hesitated, but in the end his hunger won out. He cautiously took the sandwich, softly uttering his thanks. Omega and Cal took a minute to rub their sore wrist while Crosshair carefully unclipped the band around Pillow’s muzzle.

 Pillow’s eyes opened, eyeing Crosshair as he tossed the metal band aside.

“I’ll need to put that back on before I leave, but I’ll try to loosen it.” He said.

 Violet orbs bore into him for a moment, flicking between him and the now ravenously eating children, before Pillow’s head swung towards him. Crosshair flinched a bit, but calmed when Pillow merely rubbed his head against Crosshair’s chest, a deep, rumbling purr sounding out. It seemed that his actions had earned him forgiveness. That would make things easier.

 While Omega finished off her sandwich, he dug into the bag and retrieved a roll of gauze, a container of warm water, a clean cloth, and a container of bacta, setting them down on the floor. He retrieved two bottles of cool water and handed them over to Cal and Omega.

 “Here, drink this. Omega, come here so that I can change your bandages.” He said, grabbing a numbing shot from the bag.

 Omega gulped down her water, cringing when Crosshair stuck her with the needle. After the numbing liquid had set in, he went about unwrapping Omega’s bandages. He sighed in relief upon spotting no signs of infection. With a gentleness that he didn’t know he still possessed, he soaked the cloth in the warm water and cleaned her wound. The skin had already started to scar, and since most of the tissue had been too damaged to regrow, the scar would be rather large. As he gently dabbed the burns, he noticed something odd. Small, circular scars covered Omega’s back, some not even fully finished scarring. They were all the same size, and they were perfectly spaced. It looked as though someone had taken a small cookie cutter to her back.

 Suddenly, he’s back in the medical ward on Kamino. A machine is whirring in his ears and the bright lights overhead are hurting his eyes. A sharp pain erupts from his left shoulder, and he turns to see a chunk of his flesh being sliced out of him. Later that night, he finds out that his vode all went through the same thing. Tech thinks that they want to find out if they’re as enhanced as they we’re designed to be. Apparently, they were, because they weren’t all euthanized within the next few days. Whatever they had been searching for, they’d only needed one sample to find it.

 There had to be dozens on Omega’s back.

 He suppressed a growing roar of rage that was bubbling up from his chest. He’d barely knew Omega, only having those brief moments with her before his chip had been intensified, yet he already knew that he’d kill for her. No child should ever have to endure something like that. He quickly applied the bacta, then re-wrapped Omega’s dressings. Once he was done, he fished another container out of the bag. Unscrewing the lid, he set it down in front of Pillow.

 “It’s food. Eat it.” He commanded.

 Pillow sniffed at the offered container, then started eating, chunks of meat being snapped up and gulped down. Omega laughed when Pillow pulled his face away and revealed that there was a piece of meat stuck on his nose. Cal reached over, plucked the chunk of meat off of the amphibian’s forehead, and tossed it up into the air. In a flash, Pillow snapped his jaws closed around it. He licked his teeth and flopped down next to Crosshair, staring up at him with his big, pleading eyes.

 “No, that’s enough for you. It was hard enough sneaking that amount in here.” Crosshair scolded.

 Pillow moved his head onto Crosshair’s knee, staring sadly at him as he sighed loudly. Crosshair sighed and reached back into the bag. He produced another sandwich and tossed it into Pillow’s open mouth. The white-scaled creature purred loudly and rubbed up against Crosshair, knocking him over onto the floor. He laid his head down on the man’s chest, ignoring Crosshair’s protests.

 “Get off me, you obese salamander!” He yelled, shoving Pillow’s head. Pillow merely snuggled down, rubbing his cheek against Crosshair’s armor.

 “Looks like he wants you to stay.” Cal piped up, taking a sip of his water.

 “Well I can’t. I need to locate the key to those collars so that we can get out of this dump.” Crosshair hissed, finally managing to wiggle out from underneath Pillow.

 “Aw, but you just got here!” Omega said. “Do you have to go right away?”

 “Unfortunately yes. Those troopers out there aren’t the most observant, but even they will notice my absence if I am gone too long.” Crosshair sighed. “Which means I need to put your restraints back on.”

 Cal and Omega groaned, but put their wrists together regardless. Crosshair snapped the cuffs back on, giving the duo an apologetic look.

 “I promise that once we’re out of here, none of you will spend another  minute in shackles.” He said, looking between Pillow, Omega, and Cal. “Now, I have to go. I need to do some stealth work and find out where the key card to your collars is.”

 “Be careful Crosshair.” Omega said, her eyes full of worry.

 He nodded and stood, grabbing the bag and heading out the door.

     It took five days for Crosshair to locate the key card, and another whole day for him to manage to steal it. Throwing his bare essentials into a bag, he slung it over his shoulder and stalked out of the room. The outpost was dark, the electricity out due to a growing storm taking out their generator. He was a predator here, prowling through the shadows, using his superior sight to navigate through the black. He passed troopers as he moved through the outpost, none detecting him over the howling wind and the sound of their own chatter.

 Just as he’s about to reach the outpost’s makeshift prison, he overhears a conversation between two troopers.

 “Is it true? Did they really make a clone that can use the Force?” One asked, leaning in close to his companion.

 “Yeah, but it’s a weird little runty one. Kaminoans must’ve kriffed up while they were making it, I guess.” The trooper sneered. “Little shit’s too cocky for its own good. Hope they put it down once they’re done experimenting on it or whatever.”

 In an instant, a flash of burning hot rage enveloped Crosshair. His hand found a vibroknife that he had stashed away in a hidden pocket. He pounced, gripping the trooper’s head and pulling it back, exposing his neck. The knife’s blade easily sliced through the man’s neck. He made sure that it was deep enough to kill but shallow enough to make it a slower death. While that wretched creature choked on his own blood, Crosshair swung the knife and plunged it through the other trooper’s visor, the sharp point piercing the man’s skull. He jerked the vibroknife free, fresh blood dripping off the blade.

 His anger cooled a bit, and he made his way to the cell door. The door was running on emergency power, and he had to sever that connection to get the doors to open. Inside, he could see the rapidly blinking lights of the two Force suppressant collars, the red glow highlighting the faces of Cal and Omega. Omega’s face was buried in Cal’s chest, the young clone quivering. A clap of thunder rang out, the sound louder than it would be on most planets. It made her squeak in fear, and she shuffled even closer.

 It was so easy to see Hunter in Omega’s place. Back when they were still cadets, his vod had hated the storms on Kamino, his sensitive hearing being battered by the roaring thunder that made itself known every other week or so. So every time there was a storm and they were in their quarters, Crosshair and his vode would take all of their blankets and pillows and they’d create a little hiding spot for Hunter. Once he had curled up in the middle of the makeshift nest, they would cover him up until there was only a small hole left for air.

 Omega had no such luxury. She had no batchmates, a fact that hurt Crosshair on a deeper level, and thus was left to exist in a state of fear. The medical centers were tucked into the middle of Kamino’s bases, so Omega had probably never heard thunder this loud before. He crossed the room quickly, dropping to his knees when he heard Omega’s quiet cries.

 “Come on, adike. It’s time for us to go.” He said, just loud enough to be heard above the fading rumbles. Pausing only to remove their restraints, he slipped tiny the key card into the small slits, ginning when the collars became slack and slid onto the floor.

 In an instant, the two kids were locked in a tight embrace. They were both quivering now, and judging by how their hands were twitching more than the rest of their bodies, he figured that they were both currently using the Force. While they comforted each other, he set about freeing Pillow from his bindings. The amphibian nuzzled him, before starting to nose at his bag.

 “Cut that out. There’s no treats for you in there.” He grumbled, pushing Pillow’s muzzle away. Darting back over to Cal and Omega, he extended a hand.

 “Neither of you will be able to see until we get to the ship, so we’ll need to hold hands. We’ll be moving fast, so try your best to keep up.” He said, grasping Omega’s hand once he saw her reach out to him. With Omega holding on to him, Cal holding on to her, and Pillow bringing up the rear, the group escaped the room, Crosshair leading them out a nearby door and into the raging storm.

 Bitter, biting wind whipped all around them, freezing cold rain drenching their clothes and causing Omega and Cal to slip more than once as they ran across the shipyard. More than once, Pillow had to keep Omega and Cal from getting tossed around by the storm while Crosshair dealt with a trooper or three. Finally, after a good half hour of sneaking and stealth killing, they made it to the ship Crosshair had chosen to steal. He ushered the kids on, wanting them out of the harsh storm. They were soaked to the bone, shivering with chattering teeth as they strapped in. Once everyone was secure, Crosshair fired up the engine, gripping the controls. The storm was so intense that there was a chance that it would mask their take off, but at the same time the fierce lightning that was building within the mass off clouds could send them plummeting down.

 Crosshair gripped the controls tighter.

 He’d get them out of this.

     Crosshair chewed on a toothpick, his eyelids drooping from exhaustion. He’d found them a good hiding place, a heavily forested planet not too many light years from Bracca. He needed to contact his squad, find a way to convince them that he could be trusted once again so that he could get this damnable chip removed. He needed to do a lot of things, but for now he was content to simply take a moment to breathe.

 Omega and Cal were asleep, dressed in uniforms that were far too big but would ultimately keep them warm and dry. The two were sleeping on the floor, a soft cushioning of bunk mattresses and blankets providing a comfortable place to sleep. Omega was half draped over a sprawling Cal, the young clone snuggling up to her friend. She’d fallen asleep easily, and the boy simply hadn’t had the heart to move and risk waking her. So there he lay, snoozing away with Omega holding onto him like her life depended on it.

 A regular person might have been confused by her clinginess, but he understood completely. When clones were very young, they slept in piles with their batchmates. It provided a sense of security, lowered their stress levels, and helped forge an important bond. If your very purpose was to fight in a war with a group of people, you’d better be someone they’d fight to keep alive.

 The Kaminoans had, at one point, tried to see if this behaviour could be stopped. They had forced a batch of clones to sleep apart from their batchmates, only allowing them to train and eat together. By the time they had reached adulthood, they had become noticeably different. They were anti-social, only called each other by their numbers, were completely out of sync in combat training and often acted aggressively. They snapped at each other and at the other clones, distancing themselves from the rest of their vode.

 They’d all died in their first battle. The Kaminoans never tried the experiment again.

 Omega had no batchmates, no vode to form a pile with. He wondered if the Kaminoans had tried to make more and Omega had been the only survivor, or if they simply hadn’t cared because she was never meant to be in a group. It didn’t really matter, he supposed, it wouldn’t change the fact that Omega had been missing out on a crucial part of growing up as a clone. However, it seemed that Omega had found someone to pile with in Cal, even if neither of them really understood what she was doing. Hopefully, it wasn’t too little too late, and she would grow up to be a well adjusted young lady.

 Omega yawned softly in her sleep, shifting as she tried to find a more comfortable position. She repositioned herself so that her head rested on Cal’s chest, throwing an arm over the boy’s torso. Cal mumbled something incomprehensible and turned onto his side, pulling Omega into a loose hug as his blanket fell onto her. Omega smiled, eagerly nestling into the new warmth.

 For the first time in years, Crosshair found himself aching for that comfort. He and Hunter had always been at the bottom of the pile, the close presence of their vode always being the one thing that could ease them into a peaceful sleep. In the pile, there were no harsh lights that signified the early start of a new day, nor the echoing roar of Kamino’s storms. There was only them and their brothers, safe and together.

 He remembered the day they’d first been made to sleep apart. The noises and smells and brightness had made sleep impossible. Their room door had a crack at the bottom that always let in a bit of light, and to his advanced eyes, that little stretch of light had seemed like a kriffing sun to him. Only the threat of being separated from his batchmates for the whole day had kept him in his bunk. Once the morning lights had come on, he’d launched himself at his closest vod, which on that morning had been Wrecker. His second-eldest brother had pulled him into a crushing hug, and he had felt the wetness of tears on his shoulder. Any other time, he would have teased the larger clone for crying, but on that morning, he’d have been a hypocrite.

 Maybe it was their enhancements, or maybe it was the fact that the other clones didn’t like them very much, but for some reason it took far longer for them to become acclimated to sleeping alone. After their first mission, they’d all started towards their own bunks, as they had been for months, when Wrecker had paused and asked if they would still be separated if they pilled together on the ship. They had all looked at each other, before instinctively turning towards Tech.

 “I’m sure it’s against the rules, but…” He’d given them a small smile, “I won’t say anything if you all won’t?”

 So they had thrown their mattresses together and had arranged a set up that resembled their old shared bed. They had grown at that point, but hadn’t quite reached adulthood, so Hunter and Crosshair could still sleep comfortably at the bottom. They’d slept better that night then they had in months. As time passed and they reached their maximum sizes, they began to sleep apart more and more. Crosshair and Tech especially had taken a liking to having some extra wiggle room, Tech for his tinkering and Crosshair because he was simply becoming more used to being apart than together. He was often far away from his vode on missions, providing them cover from a distance.

 Hunter and Wrecker seemed less excited about sleeping by themselves, and both had trouble with sleep. Wrecker filled the void with a stuffed toy, one that his batchmates had made for him out of supplies they picked up on one of their earlier missions. Hunter simply carved the walls of his bunk or cleaned his weapons, exhausting himself so that sleep would come and take him into its sweet embrace.

 He wondered if they’d even let him pile with them now.

 The thought of being rejected from such a simple yet important activity had him feeling nauseous, and he shook his head, clearing the thought from his mind. He didn’t deserve to share that closeness with them, not after all he’d done, but he couldn’t bring himself to think about it. Curling up in the pilot’s chair, he let his eyes close, now painfully aware of how exposed and cold he really felt.

[masterjedilenawrites]

The Sniper and The Medic: Chapter 6

Starring: Crosshair, OC Joan Vo

Chapter Warnings: Injuries

Taglist: @proadhog @skippyhopperwisdom

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

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Chapter 6: Black and Blue

Crosshair found himself hesitating outside the door to Joan's office. It looked just like any of the other doors down this hallway; he'd probably passed by it before without ever giving it a thought. But now that he knew where it led, who would be on the other side, he felt his stomach twist in apprehension.

And then he felt the dull pain from the bruise along his ribs and decided to just get it over with. He knocked, and heard her muffled voice calling back for him to enter.

Her office wasn't like the others he'd seen. Some kind of paneling had been put up against the standard white walls and a giant black rug took up most of the floor. It made the space feel smaller, but cozier. Even some of the lights seemed different, not as harsh and glaring as they usually were in these facilities. A desk was pushed against a wall on one side, and a small couch against the other. There was an assortment of other items about, from a bookshelf to a coffee machine to an exercise ball. A door lay open in one corner, and from his two-second view as he passed by, Crosshair determined it was a bedroom.

Joan herself was in the middle of the room, her back slightly turned as she faced a dartboard across from her. She had a dart poised to toss, but paused to look over at him and smiled in greeting.

"Hey Crosshair."

She didn't ask how he was this time, instead returning to focus on her game. Her tongue stuck out a little as she aimed and released the dart. It only barely hit the top of the board.

"Damn," she sighed. There was only one other dart on the board, the rest on the floor beneath. She faced him again with a smile. Her hair was out of its usual ponytail and she wore shorts along with her tank-top. Crosshair briefly wondered if he would ever catch her not looking wonderful.

"Do you play?" She came toward him and handed out her last dart.

He shook his head but still took the dart from her, hoping she wouldn't notice how much pain he was in. His plan was to casually ask for a bacta patch and then leave. If she wondered why, he'd say it was just a bruise but that he was fine and the only reason he came was because Hunter had insisted.

He would not, under any circumstances, tell her what had really happened. That he had been distracted by thinking about her while trying to run up some temple steps, causing him to trip and fall on top of the butt of his gun, which had gone underneath his chest plate and jammed his ribs. Nope. That was a secret he planned to take with him to the grave.

So he took the dart, held it up briefly, and tossed it over to the dartboard, hitting the bullseye square on.

Joan looked between him and the board a few times incredulously.

"You... you didn't even aim," she finally said.

"I aimed," he asserted.

She held her hands up with a little laugh. "Okay, Mr. Sharpshooter." She went over to the board to collect all the darts, looking back at him with another incredulous shake of her head. He was glad to have impressed her so much, especially when he wasn't feeling well.

"So, did you just come here to show me up, or what?"

She walked back to him, and it was then he noticed the large, gnarly-looking scar that spanned the entire length of her left thigh. Around it were tattoos of little birds, made to look as if they were flying in a spiral, up and away.

"No..." he said, distracted by her scar and tattoos. There was always something new to learn about her.

"Oh shit," she said, stopping a few paces from him. "You're injured, aren't you?"

Her eyes scanned up and down his body, trying to assess his condition. Of course she could tell when someone was hurt, he cursed at himself. It was her job. "Where?"

He vaguely motioned around his abdomen. "Just a bruise. I'm fine. Hunter..." he started to say, but she had set down her darts and was moving to take hold of his shirt. He put a tense hand on hers to stop her.

She looked up at him, half-amused. "I've probably seen worse."

That wasn't exactly what he was nervous about. Most doctors here would've had him disrobe on day one, one of many ways he felt humiliated in any examination room he went in. But since working with Joan, he'd been able to get over that fear a little. He didn't feel judged or scrutinized under her gaze. And he hadn't had to take any clothes off thus far.

But he let her lift up his shirt anyway, knowing he couldn't really stop her with the amount of pain he was in. Hopefully she would only pay attention to the injury.

She bent to inspect it and he couldn't help but glance down at it, too. It was the first time he'd seen the actual damage, and it definitely looked as worse as it felt. A large bruise was splattered across his lower ribcage.

"Um," she said with a little sigh. "Yeah that's... that's not good."

Crosshair braced himself for her to scold him, or fuss over him, or worse, demand to know what had happened. But instead, she calmly took a step back and folded her arms across her chest, looking him right in the eyes. "Well? What are you going to do about it?"

He scowled at her question. "I don't know. You're the medic."

"Last I checked, Clone Force 99 doesn't have a medic."

Crosshair realized what she was going for. She had made it clear just as much as Hunter had that the goal was for them to be prepared for their missions. If he couldn't figure out how to heal himself on Kamino, he didn't stand a chance doing so anywhere else. The problem was he really didn't know how to figure it out. Tech would know way more about this sort of thing.

"I'd ask Tech for help... I guess," he ended up saying.

That amused smirk ended back up on her face. "Yeah? When did this happen?"

"This morning."

"And did you ask Tech for help at any point between then and now?"

"No...."

"So what are you doing to do now?"

He wanted to sigh, but breathing was becoming much more strenuous. Why couldn't she just help him? He didn't really like when people fussed, but at this point, he'd much prefer that over standing around any longer. He got an idea, a rather silly and selfish one, but it was just the two of them and he figured he might as well give it a shot.

"I... I guess..." he pretended to think of a plan, letting his breaths come out shorter and louder and making himself sway a little on his feet. He didn't need to put on much of an act, just succumb to the pain and faintness he was already feeling. As predicted, Joan stopped testing him and rushed right to his side.

"Okay, okay, stay with me, Crosshair," she said softly. She wrapped an arm around his back, knowing he wouldn't be able to stretch his arm up and over her shoulder in his condition. Even through the pain, Crosshair felt a little excited tingle run through his body as her frame pressed against his. She began slowly leading him toward the couch. "I'll give you a pass on this one, but you need to stay awake so I can teach you what to do."

Joan helped him sit on the edge of the couch and quickly launched into her teaching moment. She had him cut open his shirt and showed him how to use the handheld x-ray monitor to asses if any ribs were broken. After determining it was just a bad bruise, she then explained how not to treat it: no bandagings, no deep breaths, but also not too many shallow breaths or else pneumonia might settle. She had him apply his own bacta patch and repeat back the frequency he should replace the patches while it healed. She also made him promise not to strain himself for a while, knowing he'd still need to train, but wanting to ensure he did it as safely as possible.

The whole time, Crosshair was in awe... of her medical expertise, her calmness, her way of inspiring him to take his health into his own hands. He wondered if she would ever feel the same about him. It was one thing to be impressive at darts, and a whole other thing to actually be attractive. Sitting there with his shirt off, his slight frame hunched and an ugly bruise on his abdomen, he wasn't sure he could pull it off.

Once she'd taught him all she could, she helped slip a poncho over his head, the only thing he could put on until the bacta settled in and gave him more range of motion.

"Thanks," he told her. "Sorry if I ruined your evening."

"Not at all." She walked with him to the door. "Also, I'll make sure Hunter lets you all have tomorrow off. I told him he could push you guys, but not break you."

"It wasn't Hunter's fault." Crosshair couldn't believe he was admitting this, but it was too late now. "I... kinda got distracted."

She gazed up at him for a moment, her green eyes subdued in the dim lighting. He knew if there was ever a moment for him to say something meaningful, it would be now. But he didn't know the first thing about flirting. He wasn't even a conversationalist in general. What could he possibly say?

"Green." The word slipped out of his mouth before he could even think about it. Her eyebrows quirked up questioningly. His heart thudded painfully in his chest. He gulped and tried to save himself. "We did the Endor sim today and I realized my favorite color is green."

She didn't react right away, just kept looking at him with that soft look in her eyes. Then she said, "Mine too. I didn't know how much I'd miss it, coming here. Maybe... maybe you could show me the sim some time? Not to run, just to look at."

He nodded, trying to contain the blush that threatened to appear.

"Although, maybe I should get some target practice in... Clearly I'm not that good at it."

"Is that why you resort to punching droids?"

She laughed, a genuine and lovely sound that made his heart race for completely different reasons.

"I'll help you practice," he said, finally stepping into the hall to be on his way. He wanted to leave before he said something stupid and ruined the moment. "The least I could do."

"Deal," Joan grinned.

[greenflamedwriter]

Galra Lance

Lance is a galra, and Ex-Mamourian (He was kicked out because he was suicidal and kept getting attention to try to make Zarkon afraid which was the opposite of what mamoura wanted so Lance is a rebel doing his own thing, bounty hunting stealing, raiding and above all about to steal a red Lion on the ship hailed under Sendak and he’s going to get a boatloud of it. Then a cocky kid in a red suit slashes in claiming it’s his lion. Lance wonders if any of this was even worth it?

1 Flash to mind meld plus suspicion lances memories of him in water with mermaids and pre-galran.

2 Flash to “surprise, not a galra.” Lance is exposed and returned and nervous.

3 His father is Blatyz the previous blue Paladin and his other father the Galra whom Blatyz married. (Wait how were you born?) Pidge asked and Lance grinned his tail flickering back like a cats (I was a test tube baby)

4 Keiths initiation Lance returns to the Mamoura.

5 they take down Zarkon then realise his son appears and find out it was hagger when plot twist the whole family were puppets a chaotic energy anti quintescence gains a form and almost possesed the galra but some (Maourans) Resisted and the galra were so soft, so easily corruptable they fight that thing with Fusiontron. They save Honerva and Lotor and they find a planet and make it habitable and release everyone from enslavment but some planets are merged some want the Galra gone and some need their galra to remain so Allura and Lotor try to fix things. Lance goes to his planet which is hidden and Allura gasps to see Alteans, Mermainians and Galra there in hiding in a warped hole.

On a spacecraft floating on the edge of an arus solar system, an abandoned Galra named Lance, was taking a pit stop.

His ship consisted of junk, the pilot hanger cluttered making even hoarders feel disgusted open drinks and snack bars littered here and there and Lance had to squeeze in just to get to the pilots chair, the craft only had one room and a bathroom that stopped working. And his room was the only place that was clean it had an assortment of guns, rifles, snipers, you name it, along with a discarded blade that has seen no use in years with a strange symbol on the hilt.

Lance had music blasting from his speakers some album he bought from an alien shop, the album was called ‘Queen.’ And so far Lance was a fan.

He was flickering through a data pad as many reports scrolled past with anflick of his finger. Galra operations, cargo shipments, military vessels, open channels with radio chatter that Lance ignored. He was looking for something easy.

The life of a thief had its perks, steal medical supplies and weapons and give them to a rebellion and make a profit. Usually he sold to both sides just to live more dangerously. A recommendation opened up and Lance smirked behind his mask with the three circles on the front.

A vessel captioned by Sendek was hovering outside Arus, sliding the panel right and lots of data began to download at lighting speed , appeared and Lance’s smirk grew.

It had some precious cargo on it, a Lion of Voltron to be exact.

Lance was having the time of his life knocking out guards ninja style was just so easy, he had the red lion in his sights.

“Well hello gorgeous, mind dropping down that barrier and getting out of here?”

Suddenly he heard a nose and hid behind a pillar in the shadows, just as more galra guardsran into the hanger.

Lance turned and frowned to see a boy in red and white armour (like thats not inconspicuous) and took them down, Lance grew more suspicious this kid fought like a galra. But he didn’t wear mamorian armour or any rebel armour that he knew. Could be a threat.

Until the kid went to the barrier “Alright open up.”

…it did nothing, the boy growled in frustration “Ugh-we don’t have time for this! It’s me keith! You’re I AM YOUR PALADIN!”

Lance couldn’t help it he laughed, more like busted a gut.

The kid whipped around activating a weapon, a sword.

“Stay back!” Lance shook his head “No, wait,” he was still chuckling holding up his hands “I’m not-”

Suddenly more guards made themselves known and the two found themselves with their hands full.

Lance wasted no time shooting the Galra, even took care of the kids blindspots, this jlb was bigger than he thought maybe if he helped the kid out they can split the money fifty fifty.

That was until.

“You’re not getting this lion!”

Keith slammed his hand against the panel, and opened up the interlock, the vacum

Shot the galra forward and Keith was barely gripping onto the panel.

Lance cursed then used his grappling hooks to latch onto a structure beam.

Suddenly Keith’s slipped and he was pulled into space.

Lance acted on instinct he unlatched grapplings and shot out of space after the teen. He easily grabbed him stopping them both from slinning.

“Let go!”

“Shut up, I’m trying to save your life.” Until the kid screamed Lance turned in time to see big metal jaws clamp shut around them.

Both screamed as they tumbled along the inner corridors, Lance was usually could at improvising- but this was going so far out of left field!

He had no clue what was even going on anymore.

Both were on their hands and knees panting from the sudden death experience, until Lance heard a high pitched sound and turned his head slowly.

Keith held his red sword against his face. Lance could only stare- oh well, stare in his mask and ex-Mamourian armour as much as he could.

“Who are you?” Keith growled. Lance knew he could knock the kid out and take the lion. But he’d have no idea if it’ll even respond to him, and Keith is a fighter and wouldn’t let this thing go, heck heleaped out of an airlock for this thing.

A crash outside saved his interrogation. “A rebel, against the Galra,” he rushed out (which was sorta true)

“Honestly I would tell you more but we don't have time!”

….It turns out Lance got involved in something much bigger than him.

This...this was Voltron.

His childhood stories, the one his dad told him about. The universe’s last hope before Alfor hid them away.

They returned!

Kinda, with one blue lion shot, it just sat there with it’s barrier up. Useless. Not doing a thing….sounded like his type of girl. Chilling alone while the whole universe wasn’t in chaos.

But even with four lions they were able to take down a fighter craft, one with Sendek attached as it crashed onto the planet before him. Colour Lance impressed.

Keith wasn’t too bad either during the battle. He was an excellent pilot and a fighter, but he had a very bad habit.

“Green is wide open,” Lance said with a sigh as he watched how obvious it was that the green Lion had three fighters on their ass.

“Help them out.” Dumbass, he left unsaid.

Keith seemed to hear it.

“I know-” keith instantly covered them and Lance saw fighter ships approach from the main craft. “Your right-” Keith barely managed to dodge.

“Will you quit back seat driving!?”

Lance almost stopped until he saw the black paladin was in distress “The Black lion-”

Keith was moving before he even finished. Keith was good, just had to see the bigger picture.

Once they defended Arus and went planet side, Lance had already made a decision, as he left the red lion trailing behind Keith he saw the others landed beside them.

A woman appeared out of the castle looking relieved, until her eyes clocked his and Lance almost ran back up the mouth of the lion.

“Who is he?”

Allura demanded once all the pilots had landed.

Lance brightened behind his mask, his lilac tail flicking back and forth as he descended the mouth of the lion and held his hand out.

“Oh hello, I’m Lance.” He over exagirated his movements the more big and dumb he looked the more trusting, Allura took his hand tentively.

“You can’t tell with the mask, but I’m winking.”

Allura pulled her hand away still suspicious. “Keith!”

Keith glanced at him curiously. “He was with the red lion,”

With no warning, Lance felt Allura grab his arm and twist him around onto his knees, Lance yelped.

“Ow, ow ow- that hurts lady- ow!” His hand was trembling and clenching as Allura dug her palm into his shoulder.

“What were your intentions with the red lion?”

“I was planning on stealing it,”

Allura looked very alarmed, until Lance gasped on. “But now? wouldn’t dream of it!” Allura growled “Why should we trust you?”

“My dad told me about Voltron,” Lance wheezed god this lady was tough.

Allura let him go surprised and Lance fell over with a yelp just barely catching himself, he turned and pointed at her with a scowl (That she didn’t see)

“Look I know what this looks like but I know that, this,” he gestured at the lions as he stood up ”This isn’t some collectors item, this is VOLTRON! The people’s hope, if anyone found out I-” Here he slapped a hand to his chest “-was responsible for sabotaging Voltron I’ll be doing the Galra a favour, Which is the opposite of what I want to do.”

Allura and the others who looked defensive, straightened once Lance said his piece.

“Is there anyone out there fighting Zarkon?” She asked, Lance placed a hands on his hips “Still? Jeez Lady where have you been? There is no more fighting, Its just surviving at this point.” He flapped his hand lazily “I already gave up on that freedom pipedream long ago, but yes other rebels are trying. Chances are if you make a dent in Zarkons oppressive system the rebels will come flocking.” And if the Mamoura catched wind of Voltron Lance wanted to be out of there ASAP.

He waved at them taking a step back “Good luck to you,” He patted the barrier of the blue lion and continued to walk away, hoping he could get enough of a signal to his ship to get him as far away from this planet.

Until the barrier collapsed with a swish.

He stopped walking as the others gasped. No.

Lance turned to see the others gape at the lion (Now free) then their gazes turned towards him.

Coran came to himself before the others. “It seems we have found our blue paladin.”

Lance looked around then back at them, wait they meant him?

Oh Gaia, no.

[roseofithaca]

Eavesdrop

A quick alternate to Earshot, but set in canon S2 rather than NPL, where the demons focus on Michael for their taunting.

*

Second book in on the top shelf. That’s the one to pull to unlock the secret door hidden in the wall behind Michael’s desk. She’s supposedly the only other being, besides Janet, in this micro-universe privy to that bit of info. It leads to a hallway that extends to a secret chamber filled with a bunch of Earth collectables along with, recently added on her suggestion, a mini-arcade with classic game machines and a karaoke stand. The walls were sound proof, obviously.

She’s not here to escape a lecture from Chidi about messing up the laundry by hanging out in her demon pal’s very own ‘bud hole’ this time. Her ear is pressed to the closed panel after sealing herself in, waiting for the big Satanic tree to arrive.

To her surprise, and slight annoyance, he hadn’t arrived alone.

“You shouldn’t be getting drunk like this. What if the humans saw you? Everyone here is supposed to be abstinent of all vices!” Michael had grumbled, a ruckus of giggles behind him.

“That’s the point, dummy! It’s a ‘Purge’ night!” Vicky cackled; “Tell ‘im again, Gunner!”

“I got the idea off this human movie - one night, we’re allowed to do any shirt we wanted without consequence! We can drink, smoke, do drugs, stab and bite to our black hearts content!”

“NO! Definitely no stabbing! Or hurting any of them...Physically!” He’d struggled to make that last detail sound natural.

Good save, bud, Eleanor had thought.

Another demon, Petra, Eleanor thinks, had groaned; “Ugh, you are such a buzzkill lately. Can’t you see how awesome this idea is? Think about how wasted Eleanor is gonna let herself get! That dork, Jason, is gonna be high as a kite and it will make Chidi and Tahani wanna cower inside their homes! It’s genius!” 

Eleanor had almost let herself be excited for the idea of trying to make the most of this supposed ‘torture’, similar to the one at Tahani’s party, which even Michael had said she hadn’t done too bad at acting and preparing the chaos sequence the next morning. She could hear the worry in Michael’s response though, being surrounded by three hundred demons, losing their inhibitions and wanting to let off steam in the most ‘passionate’ way possible, had the potential to go very wrong. For all of them.

As she listened, Michael’s attempts to reign in his rogue employees soon descended into outright pleading, which only gave him more scorn in return.

“Look just...remember what our goal is here. I get that you’re all frustrated but we’re doing so well and all I ask is that you don’t go too far on the humans, please.” He’d tried to ask, nicely. Wrong move.

The laughter nearly shook the building.

“Jeez! If you love these humans so much, why don’t you fork them?” Bambadjan teased.

“Nah, let’s face it, not even those cockroaches would wanna go near that disgusting skin suit with all it’s musty folds.” Vicky responded; “...Oh, what’s wrong, Mikey? It’s not like we’re insulting ‘you’ after all...Unless you’re starting to feel a little too cosy in that costume of yours.”

Eleanor’s stomach twisted on his behalf. She knew how much he loved that suit; he was so forking vain, after all. But then again, is it vanity if it’s not really his body? He just wishes it was.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Michael responded, quietly.

“Then prove it, dude! Take it off! Strip! Todd goes streaking every night.” Gunner encouraged.

“You know I can’t! It’s not the same for me.”

“Maybe I’ll take mine off tonight. Imagine how much Mendoza will freak out when he sees a giant acid snake coming for him after too many mushrooms!” Vicky joked; “It’s still ten times better than any torture method you’ve come up with for them, Mike. Maybe melting their brains by revealing your demon form will provide us some results.”

Is it really that bad? Eleanor was naively hoping there was some sexy bald goat-man underneath that suit. Dude was so shifty about it, like he didn’t wanna spoil the mystery. Was it more than that? Was he ashamed?

“You’ve all made your point, have your Purge and I’ll clean up the mess tomorrow. Just go easy on the humans - I insist.” Michael sounded so tired.

“Oh he ‘insists’!? Did you hear that guys? Mikey, who failed his own experiment over eight hundred times, wants to ‘insist’!” Vicky sneers.

“Well I insist that he shuts his fugly food hole and leave the masters to our job!” Petra cackled; “And he gets back to trying to fork his paperclips or whatever shirt you get up to here.”

That sounded painful, Eleanor couldn’t stop herself picturing it.

“Jeez, Mike, you always were a loser but there’s really no hope for you, is there. Before you were just the quiet nerd no one wanted to hang out with because of your weird fixation with Earth-people. Soon you’re gonna be known as the idiot who failed his first experiment; even if the rest of us do manage to salvage it for Shawn, we’ll all know the truth about how badly you suuucked!”

It took all of Eleanor’s strength not to shove the panel open, stomp over and grab Vicky’s hair to slam her face into the desk. They all just followed him in there to bully him?! They were the losers.

“C’mon, guys! We should have known he wouldn’t have wanted to join our party, it’s not like he’s used to being invited to any.” Bambadjan added, inciting more giggles.

“See you in the morning, dumb-ash. Be up bright and early to clean up our shirt, as you say, chop chop!”

Counting to ten to contain her rage luckily meets up with the sound of the door closing, the demons exiting the building.

She carefully opens the secret door, seeing Michael sat in his chair, hands folded on his lap, eyes cast down. When he hears her soft footsteps, his head turns, expression shifting to try to cover the wobbling lip she’d briefly caught sight of. He sniffs and rubs his upper lip with his hand.

“Eleanor!” Michael straightens up; “Were you there the whole time? What if they’d seen you or...sensed you were there?”

“Relax, man, they didn’t see shirt, it’s cool.” She puts her hand up; “...You okay?”

He looks to the side, forcing his ‘superior’ smirk, “Uhh, yeah, of course! Why wouldn’t I be? Just...having a bit of workplace banter, as they say.”

“Didn’t sound like ‘banter’ to me, dude.” She edges closer, slowly, knowing that if he’s as much like her as she knows, he’s gonna be like a wounded tiger right now.

Getting too close, too quick, is gonna get her eyes clawed out. She would know, she’s swung a few claws herself.

Michael sniffs, struggling to keep his mask on; “M’fine, Eleanor, really. You better go prepare for this Purge or whatever they were talking about, go enjoy yourself or...make sure the others are safe-.”

His words are cut off by her weight falling down onto his lap, arms looping around his neck as she embraces him. Fork it. Screw being slow and steady; the demon was about ready to cry.

“Wha....What are you doing?” Michael stutters, stiffening.

“Hugging you, idiot...Sorry, I mean that affectionately,” She says against his ear.

“W-why?”

She shrugs, still hugging him tight, shuffling on his knees; “’Cause you need it. ‘Cause it’s the quickest way to let you know that all those things those demons said was garbage. Fork, have they always talked to you like that?”

His silence answers her question.

She squeezes him again; “Damn, no wonder you’re as new to this whole friend thing as me.”

“Demons insult each other all the time, Eleanor, it’s how we compliment each other. We’re meant to enjoy it.”

That made zero sense. 

“But you don’t....do you?”

Michael breaths in deep against her. Then she shakes her head, leaning into her shoulder.

“That’s ‘cause I’m a freak...I’m wrong, just like they say...like Shawn says...I’m just a failure of a demon.”

“That’s a good thing in my books, man.” Eleanor pulls back, looking at him, admiringly; “You might be failing as a demon but, I have it on good authority, you are rocking it as a newbie human. And I know you think we’re all gross and stupid but...I know you love us.”

He wrinkles his nose, trying to look as though he denied it, yet refusing to. His eyes gaze into hers, a rush of color brightening his cheeks.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to say it, I know you’re not quite ready there yet.” She knows herself how difficult it is to say those three words, to anyone; “But we’re your friends. We want you on our team, Michael, not just ‘cause it stops you torturing us but...Because you’re a cool guy to be around, when you’re not giving paperclip showers or putting us in purple space bubbles.”

A smile threatened to crack on Michael’s face as he squirmed beneath her. Was it really this easy to make an all-powerful being look so shy and bashful? It was adorable.

She moves her hand up to his cheek, thumb stroking below his eye, reddened with unshed tears.

“Also...I feel kinda obliged to confess something.” She says, “This skin-suit? Your skin-suit? What Vicky said was bull-shirt. All of it. Not only is this suit as much you as whatever demony essence you got going on underneath...But it’s also not bad looking either. I might even go as far to say ‘handsome’. In like a Richard Gere in Pretty Woman way.”

“R-really?” He looks hopeful for a second; “I mean...I know it’s gorgeous, but I wouldn’t expect...I mean I wouldn’t want you - or any human - to ever wanna-.”

She cuts his babbling off again with a kiss on the cheek.

He’s frozen now.

Eleanor grins; “That prove it for you? You know me, I don’t give out pity kisses.”

Michael squirmed again, biting his lip, mumbling something which might have been ‘gross’ or ‘weird food holes’, but he doesn’t move his hands away from where they’ve found the small of her back.

“Hey...how about we do one quick bit of karaoke before we go brief the others on tonight. You can pick the song.” She says, giving his bow-tie the smallest tug.

He smiles, touched, then nods; “Sounds good...”

“Cool. Also, don’t open that drawer on your desk until you’ve properly cheered up - I rigged it with a pie to get thrown in your face as revenge for cheating off my paper earlier!”

“Oh, pies are the best prank! I wish you hadn’t told me now, you’ve spoiled the surprise.”

Eleanor giggles as she takes his hand, leading him to his bud-hole; “You know me, demon buddy. I’m always full of surprises.”

His fingers squeezed hers; “That you are.”

[thejemersoninferno]

Show Me Love.

· Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader.

·A/N: I’ve been feeling low lately, for some reason angst helps me get better? dumb I know. This one is kinda inspired in a song, I hope you like it. Special thanks to @jewels2876​ love you tons x.

· Song: Show me love by The Wanted.

· Word count: 3497.

· Warnings: angst, lots of angst.

You tried to steady your breath, closing your eyes trying to stop the tears. You heard him trying to hold back his anger, huffing under his breath. You just had another argument, another on the list; lately, that’s all you have been doing. 

“I’m going home,” you murmured.

“That’s all you’re going to say?” He babbled.

“That’s all I’ve got left,” you mumbled. 

You collected your purse from his sofa and walked out of his house. You called an Uber and waited. Meanwhile, he stood there, looking at his feet; the anger left his body and concern suddenly filled his mind. 

The next morning, he woke up to your text telling him you were flying back to London. He growled and denied, the fight had gone too far and now you were flying away from him.

It’s been a month since you last saw him. You had been texting and calling each other in the last week a lot; you missed one another but now, due to work none of you could fly to be with the other one.  Now you smiled big at the greeting at your doorstep, a big bouquet of flowers waiting. You grabbed them and walked in, sending him a thank you text. You put them in your living room with some water and rushed to get a shower as you were meeting friends for dinner later.

You met your work friends around 7 PM and arrived home just after 11 PM. You called him and video called for a while until you yawned and he sent you to bed. You wished him goodnight and went to sleep. 

The next morning, you woke up to his morning call meaning he was heading to sleep, and that’s how the days rolled. 

Days flew rather quickly. You were waiting in the VIP area to board your plane to see him. You have missed him a lot. 

“God, I missed you,” his voice deep, hidden in your neck.

“I missed you, too,” you murmured, grasping him harder between your arms.

You arrived late in the evening; he picked you up from the airport and went straight home. A beautiful dinner waited for you, roses and candles everywhere. The smell of his cologne mixed with pumpkin spice and coconut filled the room. You had a lovely dinner, catching up on your days since last time you saw each other. Now you both laid down outside his garden. A big blanket, a bottle of red wine, two glasses, cheese and chocolate accompanied your cuddling session. 

“Promise me you’ll never fly back without saying goodbye,” he murmured, his eyes locked on yours, shining bright in the tenue light from the starry sky.

“I promise,” you murmured, kissing him.

You felt his soft skin against yours; you grinned rolling in your bedside, you watched his features while he slept peacefully. His chest moved up and down, slowly, calmingly; the necklace you brought him on your year anniversary shining with the light sun. Unconsciously you reached for your heart-shaped necklace, the one he gave you when he asked you out on your first date. He woke up a few minutes later, and in a blink of the eye, both of you were doing some stretches and goofing around in his gym.

“I was thinking we could go to do some sightseeing?” he said.

“Are you asking or are you telling me?” you chuckled.

“But tonight,” he grinned, “There’s a stars rain tonight,” 

You chuckled and nodded, he was a nerd for space. He looked at you and pouted, you kissed him briefly, “okay, nerd,”

“Hey!” He played, laughing.

The rest of the day, you worked on your laptop while he did things here and there. he prepared lunch for both of you and left you around 5 PM to do some work meetings.

  ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭

“Look!” he yelled, excitedly pointing into the sky. stars shined bright and big, your mouth hung slightly open.

“Wow,” you murmured.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he said.

“Very much,” you agreed, pulling your phone from your pocket and snapping a picture.

That night you slept underneath the stars, snuggling into each other. The sun woke you up in the morning and you drove back to his place. 

“Are you serious now??!” you huffed, feeling your temper raise.

“I’m just asking!” he hissed.

“You shouldn’t be asking in the first place!” you yelled.

“Do not yell at me,” he hissed, his features serious.

“Oh, but you can raise your voice to me?!” you yelled again.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“You’re not sorry,” you laughed it off, “you never are,” your voice breaking.

“You know that is not true,” he replied.

“I don’t think we should keep doing this,” you answered.

“What do you mean?” he asked, confused.

“This,” you signalled yourselves, “this isn’t working anymore,”

“Of course, you would say that,” he laughed.

“What are you insinuating?” you asked, knowing full well what he meant.

“So many coincidences,” he spat.

“You’re the one getting caught in my town without telling me anything and the blame is on me?” you hissed, “I hate you,” you yelled at his face, walking away from him.

“DON’T WALK AWAY FROM ME,” he yelled, on your back.

“Shut up,” you growled back. 

You collected your things and packed your bags, you angrily stuffed your clothes in your bag and grabbed your phone. You called for a cab and you walked straight to the door.

“What are you doing?” He growled.

“I’m leaving!” you hissed back.

“No, you are not,” he walked to you, grabbing your luggage.

“I’m going to say this once and only once,” you said, “let me the fuck alone,” you hissed.

“That’s it?” he sighed, letting your luggage go.

“You’re trying to blame me for something you have done and I’m not taking it,” you cried, “not anymore,”

“If you walk out that door, you’re never going to see me again,” he warned.

“Goodbye,” you said, walking away.

You cried walking around the airport, you knew that place way too much, after two years flying in and out to see him, you were more than sure where everything was but for some reason, you didn’t walk through security, not just yet. 

“Ma’am, are you alright?” A man stopped your tracks. You looked at him, confused and you burst out crying louder. He grabbed you aside and tried to calm you down.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” He answered, “here, take this,” he offered a water bottle.

“Thank you,” you replied. You sipped.

“Did you lose your flight?” He asked.

“No,” you murmured.

“Did they lose your luggage?” he asked, again.

“No,” you replied.

“Why are you crying?” he wondered.

“I,” you mumbled, you shut your eyes close and sniffed, trying to hold back tears. The man waited there with you, not fully knowing what to do.

“Whatever is going through your mind, ask yourself if this is the way you want to be,” he said. You scanned his face, a pout in your face, tears streaming down your cheeks, red nose. You thanked him and rushed away from the waiting area, you dialled his number but he wasn’t picking it up. You growled and got in the first cab you found, giving the driver his address.

Chris threw his glass to the wall and growled. You left him and this time he doubted you’ll come back. He watched the wall for a while until he felt his tears burning his skin, his cheeks. His phone beeping on the sofa, he picked it up, a text from Lily telling him they will start filming in the next couple of months. He should have told you he was travelling to London, he should have met you, he should have stayed at your place or told you his hotel. He should have explained but he didn’t. He didn’t like that time you walked away after he got jealous of Sebastian,  he didn’t apologise like that time he stood you up to meet his friends for a beer and you had to spend your first day in Boston alone. He didn’t apologise like the time he made you fly to NYC but then he cancelled his panel and you were all by yourself in NYC for the weekend. He didn’t notice you were slowly falling out of love from him. He never noticed or apologised for the things he has done.

His phone beeped again, he opened Scotts’ text, Dodger was eager to be home. He texted he will be there the next morning and walked to get another whisky. He drank one more glass, thinking, huffing and reprimanding himself from what happened. You hated him, you told him. He shrieked in anger and walked out of the house, he needed a friend.

You arrived at his house, calling at his phone, not answering. You knocked on the door for the third time, no answer. You called Scott, he said Chris was home, that’s the text he got. He wondered what happened and you told him everything was fine, you were just checking because you were out shopping. You rested against the door, wondering if Chris was going to open the door and let you in his life again. You screwed up. 

↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭

After two months, Scott realised you weren’t coming back. You weren’t answering his phone calls that much and Chris didn’t mention you again. He didn’t know what happened between you but he will let you heal first.

“Earth to Scott,” you called over skype.

“Sorry,” he said, “what did you say?”

“If you’re still coming for the winter wonderland?” you asked.

“I don’t know,” he replied, “do you want me there?” Scott asked, unsure.

“Of course!” you replied quickly, “You still my friend, right?” you murmured.

“Absolutely,” he answered, “I’ll be there, bringing snacks from ma,” he explained, he kept rambling about snacks and he didn’t notice Chris arriving home. You were telling him about some new guy at your workplace when Chris interrupted you.

“Scott, ma’s calling you,” Chris said, harshly. You gulped seeing him after two months. He looked different, like a stranger. His beard was gone, long locks fell around his temple, he had a serious face and he didn’t look directly at the camera, he was looking somewhere over the laptop.

“Yeah, honey, I’ll be back,” Scott rushed out of the camera. You both waited there, not saying a thing, not looking away. You heard Dodgers’ soft bark from somewhere around the house and you gulped, guilty, sad, you missed Dodger. 

“Remember that night underneath the stars?” Chris said. You focused on him and nodded, “For a minute I thought the world was ours,” he mumbled. You denied, you couldn’t do this, not anymore, not again, not with him. Your tears started streaming down your face and Chris excused himself walking away. Scott arrived a few minutes later and found you crying.

 ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭

“Dammit Scott!” you laughed, he had failed at the aim game losing your teddy bear.

“I said I’ll try, not that I’ll get it!” he laughed.

“You’re so bad at this!” you joked. You walked and joked around the Winter Wonderland Christmas park, Hyde Park hosted every year during the Christmas season in London. Chris and Scott had promised to spend Christmas with your family in London, due to you breaking up Chris backed up but Scott came as promised. You were enjoying your last day all by yourselves because your parents and siblings would be arriving from your country the next day. Your parents still didn’t know about Chris and you, you didn’t know how to tell them and that’s why Scott was here, to help you get through it.

“So, we pick them up tomorrow, take them to the hotel and then we go to my interview?” Scott asked the plan.

“Yes,” you murmured, “Do you think they’ll buy it?”

“Meh,” he shrugged, “You know Ava, she’ll ask about him,” your little sister loved Chris.

“I just should tell them,” you huffed.

“Your father will kill my brother,” he said, “even though he’s a dick sometimes, I kinda like him,”

You two laughed and shook it off, you will fix the plan later, now it was time to have fun.

The next day, you picked up your family and drove them to the hotel, Scott ended up not accompanying you using it as an excuse for a late flight for them. The new plan was their flight was delayed, Scott was coming from Los Angeles while Chris was arriving from Boston, Scott flight arrives on time but Chris flight gets cancelled and there are no flights until the 27th when your parents were already gone and you were supposed to be flying to Boston with them for New Years with their family. The plan was working fine, they didn’t ask many questions, Scott waiting patiently to make an appearance that night for Christmas dinner at your place. 

“They’re here,” Scott said, looking through the window.

“Oh fuck,” you murmured, “let’s do this,” you added, pushing Scott towards the bedrooms.

The doorbell rang and you both jumped on your spot. He rushed to the room and you walked to open the door.

“Hello!” you said happily.

“Hi, sweetie,” your dad said. The whole bunch entered the room and you took their coats. You were just asking for their drinks when Scott came out.

“Hello,” he said, you could smell his cologne, you winked his way.

“Scott!” your little sister jumped to hug him.

“Scott just arrived, he was taking a quick shower,” you explained. He smiled.

“Where’s Chris?” your mum asked, you gulped.

“His flight got cancelled and he can’t make it,” you explained quickly.

“Oh no,” your dad said.

“What happened?” your big sister asked.

“Uhm, well,” you babbled.

“Snow!” Scott spat, quickly.

“Yes!” You added, “snowstorm, they couldn’t fly,”

Your parents didn’t ask more questions and you thanked God. After dinner everyone sat around on the sofas, hot drink in hand, chatting about plans. Your sister said the news, her husband and her were expecting their firstborn. You cried and congratulated them, turns out everyone knew but you. 

“So, when will you get married?” your little brother asked, out of nowhere.

“What?” you said.

“I thought Chris and you would be engaged by now,” he shrugged. 

“I thought the same about you and Sarah,” you replied.

“We’re still young, mid-twenties,” he said, “you’re close to your thirties and Chris close to his forties,” he added.

“What’s the point?” you said, harshly.

“Chris wants kids and you’re running out of time,” he declared.

“Excuse you,” you spat. Scott tried to brush it off by talking about something else but the damage was already done. Around 2 AM your family hopped into their cabs and in their way to the hotel.

Scott and you got ready for bedtime. You sat in your bed, brushing your hair, lost in your mind. A flashback from your first kiss crossed your mind, making you shiver. Scott found you crying, hugging yourself, he quickly reached for you and you cried on his arms.

“I will love you forever Chris,” you giggled, seeing him pout.

“You will?” he asked, unsure.

“Of course,” you replied, “that’s the problem,” you mumbled.

“Why?” Chris asked, stroking your hands.

“Because I know one day you won’t be mine,” you murmured back.

“I think we can do it if we just say you’re mine,” Chris said, stroking your hand harder.

“You know I’ll do anything you’d ask me to,” you replied.

“I think I’m in love with you,” he said, crushing his lips on yours. 

“It’ll be alright,” Scott murmured in your hair. You sobbed in his arms, you both rested in your bed, he held you while you cried.

“Maybe I’ll never know what I’ve done,” you said.

“Oh, sweet,” he said.

“He should have known I loved him,” you added, “even though he didn’t say those words too much,” you sobbed, harder.

“Sshh,” Scott tried to smooth you.

“All he had to do was show me love,” you cried.

Scott left your room to pick up his phone ringing in his guestroom. You just had fallen asleep.

“Hey,” He said.

“I love her,” Chris said, at the other line.

“Chris,” Scott tried to speak.

“I could have shown her America, all the bright lights in the universe, we could have reached the highest heights, a different place, a different life,” Chris sobbed at the other side.

“Brother, I know,” Scott said.

“Do you remember that night underneath the stars? I was going to propose!” he sobbed harder.

“Chris,” Scott added.

“Yeah it's true, we're not perfect. There's a fire inside of me, it means I'll fight for the things that are worth it If it makes me feel complete,” Chris explained, “but now I’m lost in the distance, and she looks at him like a stranger, coz’ how it looks to me, nothing can save us,”

“Christopher,” Scott interrupted, “You got to tell her, dumbass,” 

“She doesn’t want me,” he replied, “not anymore,”

“Chris all you have to do is show her love,” Scott declared.

“What if,” Chris tried.

“Christopher, you listen to me,” Scott said, “You get your ass in the earliest flight and tell her everything,”

“I will,” Chris ended the call.

You woke up to Scott listening to the Jonas Brothers and you smiled, you loved them, you have loved them since you were a teenager. You walked to your bathroom and got a quick shower, after brushing your teeth, you found your best pyjamas turning out to be Captain Americas’ PJs’ and walked to meet Scott.

“If I lay here, If I just lay here,” you sang, following Chasing cars on the stereo.

“Would you lay here with me and just forget the world?” a voice sang behind you. You jumped back and shrieked finding Chris. His hands flew up to his side, taken back by your reaction.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, confused.

“I had to see you,” Chris replied, “I had to apologise for everything I’ve done to you,” he added.

“Christopher,” you gulped, “I’m not letting you do this to yourself or me,”

“Please,” Chris pledged, “Just let me say it and then you can decide,” he begged.

“Okay,” you replied, you walked to the sofa and sat down, you watched him walk to the other sofa, facing you and sit down, you observed him for a while.

“Please,” you murmured.

“I’m sorry for the things I put you through,” Chris commented, “I know and I understand why you left, I know that it’s my fault. I’m not trying to make you feel bad or sad, I just have to say it,” he continued, “ when we started dating I promised myself I wouldn’t let my mistakes from past relationship happen again, and,” he sighed, “that meant not being the person I was, not being careful, not being on top of you every day, every moment,” You noticed his features fall.

“Chris,” you mumbled.

“Let me finish,” He interrupted, “Before you, I loved and cherished every woman in my life, I showed my love and my admiration, and somehow it always ended badly, I didn’t want us to fall apart, I thought if I was different with you, then we would be alright,” 

“Christopher,” you said, “All I wanted for you is to show me love,” you denied, tears forming in your eyes, “I knew about your past, I know you’ve been broken before, but I cannot cope with someone who won’t give me as much as he receives,” you babbled.

“Remember that night underneath the stars?” Chris asked you nodded, “I was going to propose,” his voice so low you barely heard.

“I was ready to face anything, to fight against anything, I was hitting rocks and taking shots, I was prepared to lose everything I’ve got,” you sobbed, “All you had to do was show me love,”

“I am sorry I disappointed you,” Chris sobbed, “I am sorry I broke you,” he added.

You nodded in response, guilt and sadness filling your body, you heard him sobbing loudly, you walked to him and embraced him in a hug. Even broken as you were, you wanted to comfort him. You cried together for a while, just holding each other. 

“Thank you,” Chris spoke.

“Thank you for coming,” you answered. Chris looked at your eyes one last time, he focused on your features, in your eyes, in your lips, in your eyebrows, he wanted to remember those features forever, he sighed and shut his eyes, keeping that moment in his mind. He kissed your forehead and let you go. He walked to the door and thanked you one last time, you nodded, you felt your chest trembling, you looked at each other for the last time, you smiled one last time at each other and then Chris left. Your love was gone. 

↭ ↭ ↭ ↭ ↭

Love, J ☘

[kitreadsbirdmen]

Birdmen Finale Thoughts

A Reflection on the End

Birdmen checked a lot of boxes for me. The most superficial being wings and flying, concepts that I would imagine from the window of a speeding car or subway train. I can’t say I was attracted to the freedom of the idea, that frankly scared me silly. But it was fascinating enough, and it preoccupied this small part of my imagination from time to time with the pull of the absolutely inexplicable. What if… What if something happened? What if I were different or strange? How would everyone react? What would I do? How would I change or what would I do to fight that change?

These thought experiments often led me to self-indulgent stories with fantasitcal premises that would only halt the speculation and sweep their characters towards their own plots and narratives. They would only glance over to the vastly more interesting human fallout of the [insert truly miraculous phenomenon] for the sake of episodic drama or a comedic take. These would deep down be very disappointing to me because they failed to give weight to the mind-spinning concept of the supernatural. By brushing past it, the story would dismiss my biggest questions, the ones I felt a morbid curiosity to see explained vicariously. That’s probably why I was so hooked to Birdmen at first. 

Birdmen was and is... rather mundane if you think about it. Grounded, set in a recognizable reality, gave nuance to very human quirks and details of life and society. Kinda dull-ish, slightly charming, and depressing, with all the same desire for something more that we feel when we watch the clock tick away. And even the murmurs of the supernatural had this incredulous air. Something amusing and perhaps hard to dismiss nevertheless. And as our cast is thrust into this new spin on reality, it’s given weight and time. Growing pains full of stumbling youth shenanigans and strife. The Introductory Arc is some masterful execution of humanity as the line of a new species skirts more and more into a diverging reality. It’s here that a very different kind of strength is capitalized on. The limitless potential found within limitation itself.

The core concept and primary conflict of birdmen comes from the subtle utilization of a grounded scientific and philosophical school of thought. This limits the entire narrative to concepts inspired not by the dramatic needs or visual aesthetic, but by the imagination of existing science itself. While a lot of things can boast this particular source, I think Birdmen is very conservative with where it could go. The most outlandish things are noted but not abused. Nothing is absurd no matter the demand. It’s the reason why I found the lore behind the growing science and discovery of the Seraph abilities to be immersive. It’s why I could create a million 1st ability ideas, headcanons, and theories (some of which would actually get confirmed) in one sitting. The source material existed within limits and therefore opened the door to boundless potential. 

To put it in a word, it’s realistic.

Realistic characters, events, ‘villains’, powers, relationships, conflicts… the list goes on. When we pick up a story we suspend our disbelief to welcome the basic empathy and logic to engage us through the world. But I felt a strange relationship with that process on so many levels for Birdmen. It’s why talking about it in-depth is such a hard to explain feeling. When fictional characters have all the nuance and depth as a real person. When wide-scale event scenarios start reflecting the common trends of the current mediascape. When manga-panels start echoing peer-reviewed articles… It becomes hard to see the need to suspend disbelief. At least not in the same way. It makes things seem so much more possible. Everything feels so much more personal.

The current pandemic has helped in this process of course. My life has been turned upside down and I often find myself asking ‘dude is this (still) happening???’. It makes a lot of stories and speculative fiction narratives seem a lot closer. But then the final arc of Birdmen introduces its own pandemic SEVERAL months before covid-19 is first spotted and we see a roll-out of cultural fallout that is eerily familiar. WHO press conferences following the resignation of Eden’s director. Forgetting your mask as you leave to greet your son’s arrival home. Teachers taking a sick day for themselves or perhaps out of caution (if only that worked state side lol). Misinformation and tension across social media. Unrest and riots in the street. (that image of Robin’s flock watching the riot from a distance got me big time. Mostly because I was thinking about the Capitol riots at the time). I think I just needed a chapter devoted to a successful and seamless vaccine distribution to set my resonating heart at ease.

...I’m not kidding there actually. We can’t just assume it went off without a hitch Tanabe. Can I get some wish-fulfillment here??

That actually brings me to a big takeaway as I read the final chapters. In my initial reflection, (and entire year ago) I talk about how I was certain Birdmen was prematurely cut short. And while there is probably a world Takayama could witness in his multiverse seeing eyes, where Birdmen runs for several more volumes and the playout of years of arcs goes much longer, I ultimately want to rescind that thought. 

I don’t think the ending was rushed. I don’t think Tanabe was racing against a clock to wrap things up. I don’t think she was dropping million plot threads into the void out of necessity. It is very clear at every point toward the end that Tanabe knew exactly where she was going and was taking a straight shot to that destination at every point. 

Yes, there are some characters that did not get a long enough time in the spotlight. Yes, there is a boundless potential to explore with many characters and concepts. Yes, there is an element of fallout that was left unaddressed. But this doesn’t make it unfinished or unsatisfying. The mundane, realistic nature of the narrative, allows this lack of tangible book-ends. It has uncertainty. The resolutions are not perfect. Not every person in your life is going to shine in the same way (no matter how much you like them). Their purpose in the narrative may seem small but has ripples of effects on the characters and chemistry of the collective. This is not wasted. I knew this wasn’t rushed because the primary themes of these characters came through and they were given all the space and time and panels they needed to tell that story. I noted this most when Robin was having that discussion with Agent Leo about her address to the media at the White House. The back and forth and revelations of Robin’s entire arc were expressed in this one conversation and it lasted several pages. This is the final volume of the story and this nuance is getting the full dry clean treatment. How can I claim that this was rushed? If I had to claim any ill intent I might say we would have gotten a few more chapters of proper fallout, but that would only be for the sake of neatness. But as I mentioned there is something grounded about taking that away and leaving that to the imagination. 

And thus, I’m left feeling incredibly satisfied. So impossibly satisfied. Birdmen has become something so integral to my life and I feel changed having known and loved it. To see it take a bow as gracefully and profoundly as it did fills me with a personal satisfaction I cannot put into words. This is and will forever be, one of the finest stories I will ever read. 

There is a part of me refreshed. Inspired by the daring embrace of reality. Charmed by the beautiful characters. Intrigued by the possibilities still to be discussed. I am almost left a little overwhelmed with how much I want to do as a response, both for the sake and honor of Birdmen and for my own personal motivations. It’s a kind of weightlessness, burdened by crippling fear. 

It’s a lot like flying really.