#at the very least. you could have said something. anything

[soneblomsblog]

After-School Surprise

Reader x Yeon Sieun

Part 1 Part 2

I stood just outside the school gates again, backpack slung over one shoulder and phone in hand, trying not to look too obvious. Waiting for Sieun wasn’t unusual now at least, not for me. But judging by the stares I still got, it was apparently very unusual for everyone else. Especially his friends.

I heard them before I saw them loud, half-arguing, half-laughing voices getting closer. Then they turned the corner. Park Hu Min, Seo Jun Tae, and Go Hyun Tak. At first, they didn’t notice me. But then I caught Jun Tae’s eyes, and he stopped mid-sentence. The others nearly walked past him before realizing he’d frozen.

“Wait,” Jun Tae said, pointing. “Isn’t that…?”

“Oh my god,” Hu Min muttered. “It is.”

They stared at me like I was some kind of rare animal on display. “You’re... seriously waiting for him?” Go Hyun Tak asked, blinking like he couldn’t process it. “Like... willingly?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Should I not be?”

Hu Min snorted. “No, no — it’s just— We’ve known Sieun for a while, and this is like... watching a vending machine fall in love.” Jun Tae stepped closer, arms crossed and a huge grin on his face. “Are you dating him or undercover investigating him? Because we’re still trying to figure out if he’s secretly a robot.”

I laughed despite myself. “He’s not a robot. He’s just... quiet.” Hyun Tak smirked. “Quiet? Girl, he looked peaceful with you. That was not normal Sieun behavior. Yesterday, he actually smiled. Do you know what kind of cosmic event that was?!” I covered my mouth, trying not to laugh too hard. “He’s sweet,” I said softly. “Just... not in the loud, obvious way.”

Hu Min exchanged a look with the other two, then nodded like they’d just witnessed something sacred.

“You’re a legend.”

Before I could respond, I heard familiar footsteps behind me. And then his voice calm and even, as always.

“You done?”

The three of them jumped like they got caught doing something illegal. I turned and saw Sieun standing behind me, expression flat, bag slung over his shoulder. He didn’t even look at his friends just reached for my hand and laced our fingers together like it was nothing.

Jun Tae whispered to Hu Min, “Bro, she really tamed him.”Sieun’s eyes shifted slightly in their direction. “I can still hear you.”

“Right! Bye!” Hyun Tak said, turning and walking off like they were escaping danger. “Have fun on your little love walk!” Once they were out of earshot, I squeezed Sieun’s hand. “They’re kinda funny.”

“They’re annoying.”

“You love it.”

He didn’t say anything. But that tiny, blink and you’ll miss it smile tugged at his lips again.

[linkcharacter]

Hi! Love ur art and all and wanted to ask about ur opinion of the Polle-Anya theory thing. As you know, near the end of the game, you get Polle kinda scolding Jimmy yk? I have a theory where that was Anya's last message to Jimmy and maybe even Curly. This can be backed up by the fact that Polle's text color is written in Blue like Anya's and there's a moon in the back. Plus, if you take out Jimmy responses, it can be interpreted as an angry, sarcastic message. Polle also says "If all of that is true.. why are you still concerned with HIM?" This could be towards Curly, saying that if Curly really was trying to help and all, why is he still taking Jimmy's side and such? I get how Curly wanted the best for everyone. He obviously didn't want that happening to Anya but he still wanted to see the best in Jimmy. However, in Anya's eyes, it's like Curly's prioritizing Jimmy, saying that he would never do something like that, saying that "I want to help you but Jimmy's not a bad guy! He can't be! Yknow what I mean? Anyways, curious on your thoughts about it :)

Polle is a stand in representation for Anya and I believe it. Another thing other than of course the text color and the night screen associations that solidified it for me is the chapter descriptions in the developer mode within the game, there are chapter selections for easier navigation if you wanna play a specific one and all of them have descriptions and names. What is interesting about this is that all the final bizzro sequences are named for which character they are intended to be:

And for Anya, who is the only character left it's:

Fun fact huh!

Interesting idea about it being meant for Curly, but I don't see it that way. "Why are you still so concerned with Him?" line is a response to Jimmy profusely apologizing to Curly and feigning remorse, then being interrupted while saying "Our worst moments don't make us--" to which Polle sarcastically replies and inquires. And even if Polle is definitely a stand-in for Anya, the speech itself are things she would say herself to Jimmy or Curly, at least not in this manner. This line is about focusing so much of your supposed "regret" as an attempt to divert attention from another person Jimmy hurt, who never gets any conscious acknowledgement from the perpetrator. And i think this line is contributing more towards Jimmy's character than Anya's imo. Interesting idea tho!

I think it's important that with Curly, Jimmy never once in the game acknowledges that he crashed the ship, nor has he ever said sorry for physically abusing him. Jimmy is always vague about his regret and avoids accountability for any specific action he's done so he keeps it nonspecific, saying he was "trapped" that he "made a mistake" which could mean anything at all, "Why is Jimmy so concerned with Curly?" is the question to Jimmy as an acknowledgement of his constant affinity to never take credit for anything he has done. Because Jimmy is only 'concerned' with Curly to a degree to which Jimmy can make himself feel better about it, using the idea of Curly and feeling regret about "his tragically ruined long-time friend" he is more than happy to play a narrative of admitting that Curly is a "better man" (whatever that means) if it allows Jimmy to never admit to any harm he's done. To Jimmy, Curly is a means to avoid accountability in himself, Polle as a stand-in for Anya is a final and most crucial obstacle to Jimmy's freedom to do that.

And of course he never acknowledges he raped Anya, the very thing that started it all. He doesn't "justify it" but rather he completely blocks it out from his mind, everything associated with it is purposefully cryptic, horrific or obscured: the long horse in the getting the mouthwash sequence, the Pollepede and the ultrasound sequence and of course Anya herself being substituted by Polle in Jimmy's mind because it creates a layer of disconnect from the actual person he hurt, he can't face Anya so he makes up and projects the idea of Anya onto Polle. And it is easier to make himself believe he fucked up and admit this vague narrative of caring about Curly rather than thinking of Anya.

So, "Why is he so concerned with Him?"

Because Jimmy needs to avoid responsibility.

[drabbles-mc]

Invisible Silver Linings (1/7)

Robert 'Bob' Reynolds x F!Reader

Series Warnings: 18+, Thunderbolts* spoilers, language, angst, mentions of scars, mentions of self-harm/suicidal ideations

Summary: You signed on to become part of a study when you realized that you didn't have anything left to lose. What harm could it really do? How much worse could it really get? ... You didn't expect to get answers to those questions. You also didn't expect to meet Bob. You'd end up thankful for at least one of those things.

Chapter Index

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: i know i haven't written for Marvel in a while, but i started working on this lil series the second i left the theater on Thursday. it's so nice to see Lewis Pullman getting the creds he deserves. 🥰anyway!!!! I've finished this series and will be posting updates on a weekly or twice-weekly basis until it's all up here and good to go. please let me know what you think!

“They've been taking us in batches,” you told him. You hadn't even bothered to introduce yourself to him, but from the moment they brought him into the room with the rest of you, he'd been looking around, a little twitchy and on-edge. You supposed that you couldn't really blame him. It was a strange position that you were all finding yourselves in. Then again, you had all chosen to sign up for it.

He turned and looked at you, eyes wide and worried at the same time. “Wh-what?”

You nodded in the direction of the doors on the opposite end of the room, not the ones that he had just walked through or anyone else either. One set brought you in, another set brought you out. You had yet to see anyone come back into the room after they left, and while there were plenty of things that that could mean, you wondered if it was the worst case scenario that had crossed your mind before. Judging by the look on his face, it wasn't going to take him long to think of that worst case scenario either.

“The doctors. Scientists. Whatever you wanna call them,” you gave up on titles with a shrug, “have been taking people in batches.”

His mouth dipped into a frown as he took in what you said. He looked around the room that the two of you were in, looked at all of the other people who were in there with you. No one looked very happy to be there even though, if their situations were anything like yours, they had signed off on being here. Not that you looked ecstatic either, so maybe you shouldn't judge. You were just tired. And uncomfortable. All these people stuffed into this room and they couldn't find better seating arrangements? At least the clothes they were forcing you all to wear were comfortable, even if they weren't exactly fashionable. Sure, they kind of made you feel like you were in an asylum of some kind, but they were baggy and soft so it could’ve been worse. The new guy looked like he was close to swimming in his.

He looked around long enough to realize that most people were sitting. There were limited chairs and tables, but you clearly hadn't let that deter you as you found a pocket of space on the floor to sit on. Not quite in the corner but you were far enough off to keep an eye on most of the people in the room with you. The entry door was also close by, and while you didn't have any plans or desire to make a break for it just yet, you figured that it might end up being your best bet if it came down to it. Staring down at you, he watched as you rested your head back against the wall behind you. Your legs were bent at the knee, and your arms were draped over the top of them. Whatever it was that he saw in your facial expression must've been just safe and inviting enough for him to decide to sit down next to you.

It wasn’t a graceful descent on his part, but he didn't fall on top of you. He was closer to you than maybe a stranger should've been in a place like this, but he didn’t seem like he even noticed. He crossed his legs, hands resting in his lap as he looked back and forth between you and the room around you. Something about the way he was sitting, the look on his face, he looked a little bit like a boy stuck in a man's body. He didn’t seem like the kind of person who should be signing up for sketchy medical trials that bring you to undisclosed places.

You would've been content to sit there in silence until it was your turn to get called, but apparently you were alone in that sentiment. “I'm Bob, by the way,” he said, sounding more sure of himself than he had the first time he spoke to you.

When you turned to look him in the eye, you found him already waiting and watching, an expectant look on his face that only added to the little aura of innocence around him. You figured one good turn deserved another if the two of you were going to be stuck together for now, so you gave him your name in return. He smiled at the sound of it, giving a tiny nod of acknowledgment.

“I think you're the first person I've talked to since I got here,” you told him.

He tilted his head, brows furrowing in thought. “When did you get here?”

Looking up at the ceiling, you thought about it for a moment. Being in this strange, mostly empty room that had no windows for natural light had already messed up your sense of time even though you hadn't been there that long yet. “Day before last.”

His eyes widened again. “And they still haven't taken you?”

You chuckled. “You should've seen how many people were in here. I think that's why they're doing…whatever they're doing, in batches.”

“How are they choosing people?” he asked, looking now at the small clusters of people who were still waiting. Some people were keeping to themselves, much like you had been before Bob showed up and decided to switch things up on you.

Letting your eyes close while your head was rested back, you shook your head. “No clue. I don't work here.”

He let out a quiet laugh at that. “Right. Sorry.”

Even though you weren't looking at him, choosing instead to stare at the backs of your eyelids, you could still feel the nervous energy that was radiating off him. If he kept this up, he was going to tire himself out before he even got to the hard part. If he couldn’t handle waiting, there was no way that he was going to be cut out for whatever was waiting on the other side of the exit doors. You didn’t have any words of comfort to offer him, mostly because you had no idea what the hell was really going on yourself. Something told you, though, that it wouldn’t take very long for him to pick up another topic of conversation. Wouldn’t take long for him to start asking more questions that you wouldn’t have any answers to.

As if he could hear your thoughts, he said, “Anyone say what exactly it is that they're doing?”

You didn’t open your eyes. “Nope.”

When he spoke up again, his voice was softer, almost like he was afraid for anyone to hear what he was saying. “I hope it works.”

That got you to crack one eye open so you could give him a bit of a sideways glance. He wasn’t looking at you anymore, instead his stare was fixed on the hem of his pants. He'd found a loose thread and was starting to pick at it.

“What'd they tell you?” you asked.

You wondered briefly if his eyes would ever end up getting stuck wide like that. “What?”

Turning your head to face him in earnest once more, you elaborated. “What'd they tell you they were doing? What'd they offer you to do this?”

His expression dampened, and suddenly it was like he couldn’t meet your eyes. His focus shifted back to the thread. He was shaking his head, and something told you the action wasn't directed at you, but rather at himself. “They said that they could make me great. They…they could make me better.” He found it in himself to look at you, and it was then that you could see how glassy his eyes had gotten. “I really wanna be better.” He sniffed, blinking a few times to beat his tears back into submission. Giving his head and shoulders a small shake, he tried to get himself sounding normal again as he asked, “Wh-what'd they tell you?”

“Something similar.” The point of your elbows dug into the tops of your knees as you dropped your head into your hands. Raking your fingers back along your scalp, you rested with your head down for a moment before looking at Bob again. “I'm not really looking to be great. I just,” you shrugged, “it can't get much worse for me so I figured why not?”

The genuine sadness on his face shocked you. All those feelings for someone who was a complete stranger to him. “Oh. I'm sor—”

You waved him off before he could finish the apology. “Don't be. Not like any of it was your fault. Besides, we both still ended up here regardless,” you made a brief gesture to the room, “so what the fuck does it really matter?”

There was a thoughtful frown on his face as he considered your words. “Right.” Quiet filled the space between you again. You could only try to venture a guess at what Bob was thinking about. Probably everything that led him here—that's what you'd spent most of your time thinking about, anyway. Wondering if this was the right choice or not, not that there were many other choices at your disposal anyway. No use in regretting it. You were here in your pajama uniform with Bob and dozens of other people whose names you hadn't bothered to try and learn. This was what you had now. There was nothing more to it than that.

Marvel Taglist (please let me know if you'd like to be added!): @garbinge @artemiseamoon @late-to-the-party-81 @blackhawkfanatic

[writer-of-fandoms-4321]

Danny had been in Gotham scouting for colleges, Gotham University wasn't half bad if you got past the fact that the physic's teacher was a villain on the side, and the Headmaster was sort of insane. He had felt a glare burn into his back, and hadn't thought much of it until he had been wandering a fairly empty park.

"Danyal." He sighed, and counted backwards inpig latin, searching for the illusive feeling of patience.

"Talia." Not mother, never mother.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed, Danny turned finally, staring at the woman he used to think hung the stars in the sky. "Collage. Might go here." he said in the most nonchalant voice he could summon. "Then again, I do have a full ride at a few other places, so it's really just looking."

"I don't how you found out about Damian but I will not let you harm him-" Danny blinked, then blinked again. He took a deep breath, then exhaled.

"Who?" talia cut off mid rant her eyes wide and oh would you look at that, Robin and Batman were hovering at the edge of the park how nice.

When Talia didn't say anything, still staring dumbly at Danny. And he sighed, Maddie, who in his mind, was his actual mother was beginning to approach from behind.

Danny might not be considered and Al Ghul, but he still knew how to read a situation.

Why else would Talia be in Gotham if not to visit her beloved and their child?

"He's your son isn't he?"

Talia tensed as if he had spat at her.

And Danny just felt tired. He didn't hold anything against Damian, but he dispised the woman in front of him with a passion that rivaled obsession.

Maddie was closer now, and so was Batman and Robin.

"Look Talia, I don't give two flying fucks about you, who ever you slept with, or whatever brat you had. I stopped giving any shits about you or what you do in your free time when you kicked me out and told me to 'fend do yourself you abomination.' So kindly, get the hell out of my life, I'm not some vengeful-" "Dan-o!" Maddie's voice cut through the tension like a knife, and Danny smiled wide and warm.

"Oh, hey mom, thought you were still in the car." he commented, leaning into the tight side hug he was given.

"Well you were taking forever, and I could've sworn the ecto-detectors went up!" his mother chirped, before she caught sight of Talia, and finally seemed to read how tense Danny was. "Danny whose this?"

Danny looked his birth giver dead in the eyes.

"No one important." he said in a dead tone. Turning around he began to slink away. "I"m skipping Gotham University, to many unpleasant figures, to little learning." Madide blinked then smiled.

"Ah, well, Star City is much better, want to head there next?"

"Yeah, that'd be great." _____________________________

Talia blinked after the boy and the redhead.

He had called her mom.

She had been 'no one important.'

Didn't her boy once look at her like she had hung the very sky?

She had ruined that, hadn't she.

but why was he calling that woman mom?

She was his mother.

She was.

"Talia." Danny's voice called. She hadn't seen him turn back, nor the way the woman paused. "Kindly stay at least 100 miles from my Family. I don't need you ruining that too."

And then he left.

ANd something ugly curled in her chest.

Danny and Damian are related, with a twist.

Danny is the son of Talia Al Ghul, however he is NOT the son of Bruce Wayne. Ra’s has had his eyes on various people across the world that have either impressed him or show a unique skill set that he’d like to have. One such person was under the both categories and he got Talia to collect a DNA sample and as a result Danny was born.

This was before Bruce’s time with the League by a few years, but very quickly Danny was not meeting expectations. And by the time Bruce did show up Ra’s had lost all interest in Danny, moving on to better things.

Talia always hated Danny because she was forced to have him with a man who she never liked in the first place. Furthermore, because his skillset was lacking she found that even more reason for her distain. In her eyes, he wasn’t worth even considering her blood.

Danny, knowing that he was doomed if he didn’t make an escape, left the league sometime around when Bruce was moving up the ranks and was making waves within the organization. Perfect timing honestly, any attention he might have had was quickly gone when this prodigy showed up.

Danny escaped the League and went into hiding quickly after, settling on a rural area of the United States after bouncing around countries for a few months. This was mainly because Jasmine Fenton saw a young boy pick pocketing strangers while her family was visiting Chicago and scolded him. Her mother and father saw the boy and also lectured him to which Danny responded it was his only option (he was trying to get this loud family off his back so he could sneak away). Eventually the Fentons decide that if he has nowhere to go he might as well go with us, and Danny decides blending in with a Nuclear Family is the best way to ensure that his peaceful life away from the League stays that way. Oh how little did he know.

Flash forward a few years, Talia, who was visiting Gotham to check on Damian, sees a glimpse of a boy (now man) she thought she had forgotten. Her blood runs cold, if this abomination is in Gotham then her son is likely in danger and she would never let anything happen to Damian.

[awionetka]

𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞! ✩

3, 2, 1, go! love and deepspace boys become street racers (while possibly romancing you in the process)...

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫: fluff (?), drabble. street racer!Xavier x undercover cop!reader. could be treated as a preview for a (possible) longer fic.

𝐗𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫 / 𝐙𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞 / 𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐥 / 𝐒𝐲𝐥𝐮𝐬 / 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐛

𝐧𝐨�� 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠…

✩ face-off; jimin

✩ houdini; dua lipa

✩ journal of ardency; class actress

You weren't exactly eager to go undercover.

Such thing, however, couldn't have been said about your coworker, the very same you ended up being partnered with. Truth be told, his brand new identity practically oozed excitement – after receiving a freshly out of the dealership flaming red Mitsubishi, he was to enter the street racing scene in downtown Linkon and hopefully blend in. His budget was overwhelmingly flexible; your supervisors would have gifted him the entire solar system, if it meant breaking the illegal racing ring that had been causing them nightmares of this caliber.

And while he was getting acquainted with his brand new ride, learning all the local slang terms and memorising codenames of his future rivals, you were preparing to reduce your skill and intellect to a non-threatening, possibly also quite charming, level, one that would allow you to pose as his "girlfriend". You tried to tell yourself that all of this was for the best – dumbing yourself down just the right amount would encourage people to trust you more, invite you places, talk to you about things they shouldn't really but oh, you were just so clueless, it couldn't cause any real problems now, could it?

So, you gritted your teeth, studied the case files day and night and obediently let the rest of your team mold you into someone a little bit more digestible. While they were picking out skirts and tops, dyeing and cutting your hair, you were choosing your primary target. And because you were never one to aim low or produce anything even remotely close to mediocre, it was him you singled out.

The enigmatic racer commonly went by the pseudonym Orion. Brief and straightforward, it resembled his demeanour remarkably well. Orion was hard to spot before the races, as he was never one to boast, and even harder to detect during the competition itself, leaving his rivals far behind as soon as lap number one was completed. Your team couldn't even get a hold of a proper photo to include in his personal file; all you had at the moment was a rather blurry and faraway shot of Orion standing awkwardly next to his car of choice – which was confirmed to be an R33 GTR Nissan Skyline spray painted white, silver and royal blue. From this lighting and angle, you couldn't even be sure whether his hair was brown or blond. However, given your boundless ambition, you assured yourself you would fill up that file in no time.

The defining moment came a couple of weeks later, during your third race (well, your boyfriend's third race). It was late November and your bare shoulders were slowly but surely becoming more and more frozen solid with each passing minute. Your partner's right arm was loosely wrapped around your midriff, offering you little to no comfort when it came to fighting off the ever-present cold. So you excused yourself, retreating to the questionable sanctuary of the makeshift garages which were at least partly covered with some resemblance of a roof.

You were already rubbing your hands together like a fly, convinced you found the perfect nook to wait out the race in, but then you rounded the corner and... well.

"Are you..." The man in front of you spoke up after an elongated moment of silence, snapping you out from your state of utter confusion. "Going to say something? You're beginning to scare me a little."

Your brows furrowed, as though on command, making the stranger chuckle. He got up from his spot, arms outstretched, and yawned.

"Sorry." He scooted over a bit, uncovering a small vending machine with hot drinks that was kept hidden behind his back. "Just don't tell them I'm here. Then, you can stay for as long as you like."

You pointed at the machine wordlessly, a gesture that he must've interpreted as a polite request directed personally at him, because shortly after he fished out some loose change from his pocket and nodded at the beverage options.

"Anything you like?"

Stepping a little closer, you skimmed the list. The heat radiating off his body forced a shiver out of you. "What's this black tea like?"

He hummed. "Not too bad. A little bitter. There's no sugar in this thing though."

"I'll live."

The stranger handed you the steaming cup, acknowledging your quiet "thank you" with a warm smile. Suddenly, you felt an unfamiliar weight on top of your bare shoulders and immediately sent him a cautious glare, one he met somewhere halfway, with eyes open wide and a lopsided smile.

"It's denim, so it's not that warm," he muttered, adjusting his jacket on your body, careful not to let his touch linger for too long. "But it appears you're in a more dire need of it than me."

You were already parting your lips to offer a reply, when the garage doors slid open, letting in a gust of freezing wind.

"Yo, Orion! The race's starting in like five minutes, man! Where'd you gone off to?"

A wave of utter disbelief washed over you in an instant, leaving you stiffened mid sip, as the man in front of you, Orion, shot the other a mean glance.

"Coming!" He redirected his gaze to you, awkwardly patting your jacket clad shoulder once in some type of reassurance. "Keep it. I'll come get it after the race."

"...Thanks." Your reply failed to reach Orion, as he was already squeezing past the garage doors, looking back only once, as if to check on your confused form. And then, he was gone.

Holy fucking shit.

Xavier could feel Jeremiah's voice through the earpiece, complete with the persistent buzzing and faint vibrations. Yet, he didn't hear a single word from it, and even if he would have, it certainly wouldn't stick around in his head long enough to be properly processed.

The steering wheel beneath his fingertips was burning hot, all the friction leaving their very own imprints on Xavier's skin. He had it under control. Jeremiah should have known that by now, that way maybe he'd lay off the excessive yelling.

The first words made out from all the surrounding noise reached Xavier's ears mere seconds before the Skyline sped past the finish line.

"Cops!" he said frantically. "The cops are here, Xavier, turn back around!"

The adrenaline that took over his body so unapologetically during the race, only intensified when he hit the brakes, stopping just a couple of steps away from you.

Body still clad in a denim jacket, his denim jacket, you were leaning against one of the cars parked by the garages, a flashy Mitsubishi owned by an even flashier driver who backed out last second after locking eyes with Xavier. The very same who now stood next to you, pressed against your side like a velcro tab, right arm sneaking under the jacket to hook around your waist.

The pre-police sweep frenzy separated you and Xavier in an instant, together with this delicate, slightly peculiar link you managed to establish back in the garages before the race. As he made his way to one of his hideouts, it was as though it kept tugging him back, clouding his judgement in a way he couldn't quite understand. But he urged himself to leave it alone, leave you alone, together with your bare shoulders and a man with a tawdry car who wouldn't even notice when they started shaking.

It was only when he finally got out of his Nissan and the brisk air enveloped his skin, that he realised he hadn't gotten his jacket back. And even though it wasn't of that much importance to him anyway, meaning he wouldn't really mind if you kept it, something was telling him that you had a different understanding of the subject. Which resulted in a swift realisation, one that, against his own better judgement, forced Xavier's heart to skip a couple of beats here and there.

He would, inevitably, see you again.

[eemamminy-art]

Year Of The OTP 2025 - May: "We're dating married? Since when?" Taken from a scene in chapter 40 of my fanfic, Coming Around Again.

Plopping himself down on a big, blue suede sofa, Mallory happily bounced a few times, grinning up at Alex. “Oh you should try this one, I think it’d be just perfect.”

“Wasn’t all the old furniture red? The new panels are going to be cherry wood,” Alex reminded, though his expression looked more like he was seeking validation for his suggestion. “So shouldn’t the new stuff be kind of similar?”

“Oh, maybe,” Mallory hummed, pulling himself back up to his feet. “Where did you learn about all that? Don’t tell me I have to add ‘home decorator’ to your growing list of talents?”

“Granny taught me a little about it, at least, she’s talked about matching colors when I’ve helped her with her flower arrangements,” Alex explained.

Mallory grinned, leaning in close as he teased him, “Okay, adding ‘florist’ to your repertoire for sure, on top of ‘repairman’, ‘baker’, ‘athlete’, and—”

“Just bought your first house together, have you?” A voice interrupted, commanding their attention.

The woman that stood before them looked immaculately professional, her hair styled perfectly into curls that sat on one shoulder, framing a round face painted with colorful makeup. Her voice was sweet, but her eyes were sharp, a look that Mallory knew uncomfortably well.

She was a saleswoman, no doubt, prepared to say anything she had to in order to make sure the pair left her store with a truck full of her furniture. His mother had been one too— presumably still was one, though not for furniture. Still, he knew the type and he knew exactly how the proceeding conversation was about to play out.

“Oh no, it’s actually—” Mallory began, smiling nervously.

“An apartment, then. Those are easier to come by in Zuzu City, especially for two young men such as yourselves,” she deduced, not allowing Mallory to speak. “I see this same argument play out almost every day. Let me guess, you two are newlyweds?”

There was a beat of silence, the air robbed from his lungs. Mallory hadn’t expected to be clocked as a couple so easily, least of all by someone who gave him the same sickly, unsettled feeling as his own mother did.

“No, we’re—” “Yes, we—”

They answered in unison, both of them interrupting themselves as they realized what the other had said, Mallory’s eyes wide and mouth agape as he looked at Alex in disbelief. Alex met his gaze, frozen in place like a deer in headlights. Alex had said ‘yes’? As in, ‘yes, we are newlyweds’? As in, ‘yes, this is my husband’?

The very thought turned Mallory bright red, the woman once again calling his attention back to her.

“Oh my,” she chuckled, “No need to be so embarrassed boys, I see all kinds of folks here.”

“No, no, it’s just that we are dating, but only for a few months,” Mallory explained, swallowing thickly and offering the politest smile he could muster, “We’re shopping for a community project together, on the other side of the mountain in Pelican Town.”

“My goodness,” the saleswoman let out an exasperated, but very practiced laugh. “My intuition wasn’t all wrong, then. Maybe your fella has something more in mind, but I won’t tell.”

She shot a knowing wink at Alex, sending a nervous chill running through him.

[v88sy]

Lmao but for real. Idk if it's bts drama with Ryan or something but it's getting more and more obvious. Bobby, his captain just died and the guy is just over there offering a cookie to Ravi in these trying times like an extra on set with a blank expression on his face.

I refuse to feel bad for enjoying this situation. Bvddie shippers have made their own bed. I don't like Ryan at all, but even I can admit there's only so much toxicity an actor can take. Buck was at least allowed to exist in his own right in their eyes even if they couldn't stand him canonically dating a man (so much for being LGBT warriors and caring for representation!). But the way they're obsessed with Eddie and try to bring every plot he has back to him being "gay" is exhausting and weird as fuck.

Imagine being an actor and being excited for the storyline your character is getting that season and your fans are just like "we don't care, when are Buck and Eddie going to fuck on screen tho?" Not saying Eddie's plots have always been exciting at all, lord knows they've done some stupid shit with the character, but still. Eddie arguably had the most interesting SL in years while trying to mend his relationship with Chris and they could not have cared less because it meant he was in Texas and not bending over for Buck. I wouldn't blame Ryan if he wants out, if his acting in this ep is any indication, his heart just isn't in it anymore.

I didn't mind Eddie at first, I really didn't. But, it kind of feels like after Shannon died, the writers just...didn't know what to do with him. His entire existence became about grief without any real action to address it or deal with it. I get it, grief never really goes away, but you can't just Fight Club your way out of it either.

I often wonder if the writers intended to write him as insufferable and selfish as they have. He says things to hurt others and never reflects or takes accountability. It's been talked about ad nauseum here, but his friendship with Buck is incredibly one sided. Again, I don't know what's more scary...to think this was all by design...or that it wasn't.

And, since we're just going for it here, Ryandrew Tateman absolutely hasn't done himself any favors here. I know what he did. You know he did. And I wish I could say that was the only thing, or even the most recent.

On a personal note, I've worked in healthcare for 20 years, including the height of covid, so being an anti vaxx/anti covid vaxx is an instant 'fuck off' from me.

And the memes he's been sharing about Pete/Bobby? Salty edgelord.

You make excellent points about anything and everything being boiled down to Gay Eddie™ in some people's minds. Not even bi or demi, or any other shade of queer. It has to be gay, and Buck has to serve as the trad wife self insert surrogate. Which, really makes me question their motives, because it ain't representation. We already got that, and have since day one. Not that they'd ever know.

Look, it's very clear by now that I'm not his biggest fan by a long shot, but it's absolutely disgusting that people want to disregard his body autonomy by saying things like "it doesn't matter what he wants, they're gonna force him to do bddie anyways because it's what the people want".

No, they don't, and honestly, that makes me wonder about your views on consent. The role would involve, at the very least, kissing Oliver, (not that I'd mind myself, but that's another topic for another day) so...yes. It absolutely is his choice, as it should always be when engaging in contact with someone, acting job or not.

And yeah, I'll give it to you that he's probably tired as fuck about being reduced to nothing more than "the guy who absolutely must be gay because *insert harmful stereotype here.*"

And that's in addition to having every. single. interview. harp on the ship that he has said repeatedly that he doesn't want to do, for actually valid reasons, assuming those are the real reasons and he's not just blowing smoke up our ass.

So, yeah, I don't blame him for wanting an out, but I also don't think we should be blamed for wanting to be able to enjoy our show and the fandom as a whole once again.

All that being said...are you trying to put me in jail, katey 😂

[thefirstlioveyou]

this old conversation that i'm very much late to is GIVING ME SO MANY THOUGHTS

"vecna wouldn't be alone anymore, he'd make himself untouchable by wearing mike like a shield"

that puts the whole "we need to drive a stake through vecna's heart" in a new light. literally robin (?) adds on: if he has one

steve takes it literally but max explains it's just a metaphor, meaning they could've said anything else but yknow. the writers like to be like that

the party has a heart.

but vecna took it, and he's so close to taking over it completely.

he says it like possession/mind control and becoming him are two different stages.

then literally mike in vecna's spot/as vecna in his attic being impaled by a stake. can they make it anymore obvious?

"there was a time i wanted you by my side" — this whole interaction between jason (an antagonist of the season side by side with vecna) and nancy basically reading as "el was great, but i'll do you one better — have you ever heard of michael wheeler?"

"without [you], we all fall apart"

"you have already lost" — because HE HAS THE HEART!!!! HE HAS MIKE!! HE WON A LONG TIME AGO!!

everyone needs michael 'what if she doesn't need me anymore' wheeler, and that includes the antagonists.

"maybe it's something just slightly different with mike, more like the original sales pitch el got but with no option to say no"

reminds me of the you spin me round song in his playlist, which also just so happens to play at rink o mania.

"if i, i get to know your name

i could trace your private number, baby"

"i set my sights on you

(and no one else will do)

and i, i've got to have my way now, baby"

obviously, it's basically saying "i don't care if you say no, i will find you and you will be mine."

i genuinely don't get why that is on his playlist if it's not about vecna spying on mike and making his move to grab him with the vine. even if you interpret it as a love song, mike is not "romantic" like that, especially in s2. he's depressed and grieving. he's not pining.

the love songs he does have on there are all sad and ones about heartbreak, making this one stand out. and they at least have zero SA implications.

also, likely a coincidence but "you spin me right round like a record" — his name is mike wheeler lol

possessiongate: explained

i've been vague posting about this for a while, but after mapping everything out i think it's time for a full analysis of stranger things 4 and what's going on with mike wheeler in it

i think vecna is in mike's head. i think mike is being possessed by vecna at certain points in the season, which is why he's suddenly so weird and inconsistent about a lot of things

@dinitride-art’s post on the visuals of mike’s monologue sent me down this rabbit hole, and since going through everything for this explanation with that in mind, i'm now extremely convinced that this is intentional

i’m going to follow mike through the entire season to explain what he's thinking, what's going on in his head in general, and why it's not what the show wants us to think

very lengthy explanation under the cut!

we start in hawkins, with el's letter. it's the first thing we see. the camera only secondarily pans up to mike. then nancy suddenly barges in, seems to snap him out of something, and we immediately get the question "what the hell are you doing?", which mike never actually provides an answer to

in the second shot we get of mike, the sign above his bed is only partially visible. it reads “one w”

one -> vecna

w -> wheeler

there's an almost immediate connection, and it has something to do with el because her letter is still in frame until mike throws it away. vecna intends to use mike against el

when we get a wider view of the room, it's a complete mess. last time we saw mike's room it was immaculate. we can see daylight coming through the window in the mirror ("one way" mirror -> one is watching him without his knowledge) but his lamp is still on, implying he's been up all night

there are a lot of time references surrounding mike in this opening sequence. time -> clocks -> vecna

mike's issue with sleeping (which is later revealed as a sign that vecna is in your head) gets a bit closer to noticeable when he starts to say something that's probably along the lines of him going to bed early not mattering because he won't be able to sleep anyway, but he doesn't get the chance to finish what he wants to say. this happens a lot this season

karen: you need to go to bed early tonight. mike: why? ted: it's a 6:30 flight, michael. mike: yeah, i know, but— karen: no buts. 9 or no california. ted: and no sweetie pie.

they're already hiding mike's thoughts from us. even when we’re seeing things from his point of view, for one reason or another, we’re not allowed to know what he’s thinking despite him actively trying to tell us

ted’s comment brings up el again, further connecting her to the time references and mike’s concerning behaviour

mike is immediately not okay for some reason, from his very first scene, but it’s not in our face like max. it’s hidden. nancy doesn’t comment on the state of his room even though this isn’t normal for him. his parents kind of seem to assume that him trying to brush off his need for sleep is just him being a stubborn teenager. his grades having slipped is told to us through a joke while the same thing with max is pointed out as not normal and a sign that something’s wrong. the characters haven’t noticed, and a good majority of the audience won’t notice either unless they go looking for it. it’s all there, but it's hidden in plain sight

for this first day, mike is 100% mike. this is establishing who he is now, without any active supernatural interference. mike is over the forced conforming of last summer, mike doesn’t care about being popular, mike doesn’t care about girls laughing at him, mike is embracing his love of dungeons and dragons again, mike is shamelessly sending heart eyes the way of the cool older guy who likes dnd and rock music and shows him it’s okay to be different. this is setting up the contrast for when he starts acting like a completely different person later

because of an outside influence in the shape of eddie, mike does a few uncharacteristic things. he ditches lucas and lets someone else lead, instead of leading by example like he usually does and just telling dustin that they’re going to the basketball game anyway. he did fight for lucas in the first place, being the only one who could just say that they needed to postpone, but he gets manipulated in a direction he doesn’t want to go. this really sets the stage for what’s going on with him this season

mike is having headaches. this is another sign of vecna being in his head. i think of it like a physical defence mechanism, a sign from your body that something’s wrong, similar to the nosebleeds since they both stem from the brain. which there’s also a very small hint of when mike does this very subtle sniffing thing while sitting outside with dustin like there’s something tickling his nose

there’s the beginning of mike not really knowing what’s going on

mike: screw what? [...] what? what? dustin, where are you going? [...] come on, just talk to me! tell me things! [...] what are you talking about?

this is new territory. mike usually knows everything for absolutely no reason. he's being removed from his leadership position as the dungeon master and his ability to understand the situation is being messed with. that functionally changes his role, and effectively disables him as a character so that the season can work and vecna can win

they neutralised jonathan so that he couldn't support will and el by making him a stoner. they (vecna) neutralised mike so that he couldn't support will and el by making his mind not his own anymore

during the campaign, an argument starts up. mike doesn't take part until dustin puts his ego on the backseat to ask what mike thinks, reminding us just how smart mike really is and the effect he has on people. especially since his advice works. mike, always being more inclined to fight than run, supports dustin's plan

mike: it's risky as hell. but you're the ones on the battlefield. so it's your call.

this sounds like mike giving advice that he wants to hear himself. specifics of the campaign aside, getting told that he's smart and capable and should trust his own judgement is a major turning point in his character later on

right around the time mike would be meeting his curfew (offscreen, because we're not allowed to see that either) and committing to visiting the byers, vecna moves in for the kill and chrissy dies

mike was supposed to visit the byers months earlier but he didn't for some reason, and them coming back to hawkins for christmas didn't work out either. it's easy to find a reason why, probably money, but mike had already gotten permission from karen at the end of season 3 and money isn't a problem for them. he could have just been doing his avoidance thing, or it could be a play on the pattern of him being late to things, but i'm curious if he subconsciously knew that something bad would happen if he left and held it off as long as he could. considering mike is already acting like someone else when he gets off the plane and his clothes, which he must have put on in hawkins, are used to indicate that, it's possible vecna took control in this offscreen blind spot and made him go. the fact that it took this long for that to happen really is a testament to mike's mental strength

now we’re in california! and mike immediately starts acting weird. he’s wearing sunglasses indoors, which is unnecessary and really stands out. i also get a vibe of implied dishonesty

mike: so i kinda did, like a 70/30 split, kinda thing.

70% vecna. 30% mike. this is absolutely an intentional slip from vecna, since we know he likes just telling people his plans and feeling smug about how clever he is when he still fools them

mike is very weird towards will, which is so unlike him that absolutely everyone picks up on it. mike got over his “ignoring will” issues near the end of season 3. he looked devastated and completely dead inside the day they left hawkins. there is no way that mike, fully in control of himself, would treat will this way after seeing him again for the first time in months

argyle: that's a rad shirt, man. ocean pacific? [...] oh no, no, no. no, it's a shitty knockoff. yeah. but don't worry, i'll get you the good threads out here.

mike shows up acting fake. the dialogue points out that his shirt is fake. and a bad fake, at that, but one that's convincing enough at first glance. you can connect the dots

then argyle brings up nancy and things get awkward, but like most of the romance this season (especially around mike), i think it's meant to distract us

argyle: yeah, this is kinda awkward, man. mike: yeah, so awkward. argyle: i mean, i really thought it was ocean pacific.

it comes right back to the shirt. right back to mike being a fake. one that tricks you unless you look hard enough

things aren’t awkward because of nancy. they’re awkward because this random person who vecna didn't even seem to account for, based on the initial weird look mike gives him that really reminds me of possessed will looking at bob, called out his ploy in two seconds flat without even realising it

vecna has mike play along with the perfect, happy, normal couple ideal that el is aiming for, while simultaneously ignoring will. inevitably it crashes and burns, which vecna was probably counting on, because he knows lies like this never last

mike and will fight. mike's side involves a hurt that's based in not knowing what's going on. he looks confused when will describes the day they both just lived through (this will not be the last time this happens) and tries to just... leave the conversation. because he doesn't know what to say. because he doesn't know what will's talking about. this whole day was mostly from will’s point of view and doesn’t even touch mike’s, so we don’t even know what, exactly, mike is confused about or what he thought was happening

but will doesn’t let him walk away

will: you're mad that i didn't talk to you? seems like you made it super clear that you're not interested in anything i have to say. mike: that's just not true. will: you called maybe a couple times. it's been a year, mike. meanwhile el has like a book of letters from you.

we know mike cares what will has to say. he cares a lot. all he does this season is listen to what will has to say

it also hasn’t been a year. it’s been six months, tops. but mike and will stick to this even when most other characters talk about it normally. the only real time period in the show that matches up with what they’re saying was between seasons 1 and 2. before will got possessed. before will and mike spent an entire season joined at the hip while mike provided emotional support against the possession. which is exactly what happens in season 4, just in reverse

one line near the end of the fight hints towards mike already knowing something's wrong, despite being pretty majorly influenced by vecna for the majority of the day

mike: why... why am i the bad guy?

if this is mike — which, considering it sounds like he has to fight to say it, i think it is — it's possible that he saw/found the double meaning in argyle's comment earlier. he glanced down at his shirt when he heard it and didn’t really know how to respond to it

we saw how mike dressed just one episode ago, one day ago, and it wasn't like this. the outfit is used as an indication that something's wrong with mike. the logic of the clothes being unlike him probably opened up the floodgates for his intuition, which we know doesn't have to make logical sense for him to trust it

i’m dead certain that el heard this fight. she heard angela's group perfectly when they were a similar distance away from her, and she has a habit of hearing mike whether he wants her to or not. she seems to have very good hearing in general, possibly because of the way she was born. el knowing this will pop up again later

vecna manipulates mike's reaction to el schmacking angela, which mike notably seems confused about later and can't coherently explain. this part was very, very obvious. even casual viewers picked up on this reaction not matching up with mike’s prior reactions to el dealing with bullies

because of this preoccupation with mike, vecna has to pretty much speedrun fred's visions as this big chunk that takes long enough for the sun to set because he didn't have time to spread them out over the day like he did with chrissy. there was one individual vision, but it was relatively brief and wouldn't have left mike to his own devices for too long

this was most likely happening during the period where everyone was standing around rinkomania, on the drive home, and spilling into the dinner scene, because mike's stormy, silent judgement and bitchy glares are the most in character thing he's done in california so far

the byers and guests have dinner. mike seems normal at first, although there is another hint of a nosebleed. he quickly realises that murray's hiding something and gets visibly suspicious about it, he's still unimpressed by jonathan and argyle's shenanigans, and he instinctively questions joyce's last minute business trip but keeps his thoughts to himself, probably because he doesn't fully understand the situation and also likes and respects the byers too much to start a scene at the dinner table when he's a guest in their home. we saw this behaviour during eddie's campaign, the choice to not involve himself unless called upon while a whole lot's going on around him. this is all mike

and then mike starts a scene at the dinner table when he's a guest in their home

vecna must have jumped back shortly after killing fred. something switches, and suddenly mike's not acting like mike anymore

he makes a totally uncalled for, passive aggressive comment that upsets el further in response to jonathan and argyle trying to make her feel better. that happened on the drive home too, and while mike rolled his eyes at them, that's because they were ridiculously high and acting like it. he didn't have a problem with them being nice to el ten minutes ago. it comes completely out of nowhere. there was no indication he was even that upset about the angela incident prior to this. if anything he was thinking about his fight with will

el visibly finds mike's comment confusing for a second before she leaves to beat herself up in her bedroom, making it the second time in one day she's thought mike was acting wrong. and she's right to think that. mike only ever makes comments like this to el or will in the heat of the moment because they get special treatment. a chill family dinner where mike was previously minding his own business is not equivalent to el throwing lucas through the air and knocking him unconscious

mike doesn't eat at dinner. he's shown playing with his food and will is shown noticing it. argyle must have too because of something that happens later. mike has always done this when he's upset, dating all the way back to the first episode, but in this context it seems to be representative of him resisting something. it reminds me of his implied resistance to sleep too

joyce is confused by what’s going on, probably referring to jonathan and mike’s behaviour specifically. murray, the expert Seer of Things, watches el leave with mild surprise and then immediately looks straight at mike

murray: okay, i, uh, i sense tension. is it the risotto? everyone hates the risotto?

this is a joke, but mike is pointedly not eating the risotto in the same scene as he suddenly starts acting like a different person. it was a targeted comment. the tension is within mike. it's vecna fighting for control of mike's mind

jonathan and argyle, however, have only positive things to say about the risotto. this topic of food (in relation to mike) will pop back up later

now we’re onto the part of how and when vecna kills people that probably stumped robin when she tried to find a pattern to it. why they got an extra day to figure out max was in danger. it’s because vecna had to make sure mike wouldn’t fix things with el first. he’s still keeping an eye on the home team, because he starts opening the first gate the second they leave the trailer park, but el is his priority

mike mopes at breakfast. he still isn't eating. he's still resisting. will is still noticing, which is promising in terms of mike eventually getting help on this. but for now he loses again, just like last night, and he ends up chasing after el. he brings her food too, which as it currently stands is not a good thing. she doesn’t eat either, and i doubt she would have even if he’d brought cutlery

mike seems really confused during their conversation. he trails off a lot and talks himself in circles. it really stands out because it's so different from his usual speech patterns

el: you think i'm a monster too. mike: what? el: yesterday. the way you looked at me. you... you were scared of me. mike: no. no. no, that's not... that's... that's not true. i was surprised. maybe i was a little upset in the moment, but i mean... i'm sorry. i just... i didn't know what to do.

no mention of his comment at dinner. it's almost like he doesn't even remember saying it. he retroactively confirms that he didn't care that much about what happened once the shock wore off. and i cannot stress enough that he is so, so confused. this isn't about no one telling him anything anymore. he was there. he should know what he's talking about. but he doesn't

it sounds like he's seriously fighting to get the words out again, but cranked up to a hundred. this is probably why max got so much extra time. because mike is stubborn as hell, and every single season demonstrates how his true strength lies in his mind, and it probably took a lot of vecna’s focus to force him into upsetting el when we know how much he cares about her and he seems to be actively fighting it. it takes mike five tries to even start to say "that's not true," the same thing he said to will yesterday. but it’s such a minor detail, and they’re overshadowing it all with the love triangle drama, so it’s easy to miss

mike is usually so confident and so level headed and so silver tongued that he can get full grown adults like hopper to respect and listen to him in a crisis, so hearing him trip over his words like this is ringing major alarm bells. el looks confused by the way he's acting again because mike is truly gifted at quickly understanding and explaining situations. he's slightly worse off when they concern his feelings, but he's not this bad. the only way he'd be acting like this is if his ability to understand what's going on has been internally tampered with

the uncharacteristic hesitancy and confusion lingers for most of the scene, but it lets up a lot after "i say it" and entirely disappears by the end, where this really patronising tone comes in to fill its place that doesn't sound like mike at all. he calls el ridiculous, he tries to make her think she's making things up, he brushes off her feelings, he deflects. mike does not do this in conflicts with el. mike avoids. and mike has far more respect for el than this

mike: what, like... what is this? you know what i think of you.

this directly leads into mike externally basing el's self worth on being incredible and special and a superhero, which directly contradicts the information we already have about mike's thoughts on el's powers that they're actively drawing our attention to

in season 3, mike was the one person saying that el shouldn't have to use her powers. that she shouldn't be obligated to sacrifice everything for her friends. that she's more than a superhero or a machine. that she's a person who's worthy of protecting whether she's saving them or not. and he followed through on that when she initially lost her powers: he flipped the car when she couldn't, he made a plan to get her and max to safety and tried to protect her from vecna when they were trapped in starcourt, and months later he got a teddy bear down from the high shelf for her when she couldn't get it herself. there was no hint of mike's view of el potentially changing without her powers. none. and this show is very good at foreshadowing, so that absence is very conspicuous

the tail end of this speech doesn't sound anything like mike. there's a reason he sounds like he's fighting it

but you know who it does sound like? vecna. the guy who thinks every other human being is an unimportant nobody. the guy who says that brenner didn't matter because he was ordinary. the guy who thinks that el is on his level, whether that's as an apprentice or an enemy, because of how special and incredible and superpowered she is. the guy who wants to kill el's friends while she watches, or kill her while they watch, as punishment for turning against him. and he can't do any of that if she doesn't remember him, and she can't remember him until she's pushed into thinking that she's worthless without her powers, which is exactly what mike is putting into her head in this scene despite that not being how he sees her at all

the police interrupt before mike can get his head sorted out, and we get this

mike: everything's gonna be fine. i am going to fix this. okay? just... just stay calm and everything's gonna be fine. okay? just... all you have to do is trust me. i promise. i'm gonna get you out. i promise!

like to his advice to dustin, i think this reveals what's going on in mike's head. el doesn't want reassurance that everything will be okay. el doesn't need to be told not to panic. she's not the one panicking right now. these are all things that mike needs to hear

which implicitly makes "i'm gonna get you out" a lot more interesting. it applies to el, because she's getting arrested and later trapped by brenner, but how does it apply to mike? what does he need out of? what does he need rescuing from?

vecna focuses on max much later, after el doesn't return home and confirms that she's on her way to getting her powers and memories back. they try to hide it with the episode break, but mike immediately starts acting more like himself. he gets into an individual standoff with an authority figure representing the american government in like five minutes. that's the most mike wheeler thing he could possibly do

mike: so, what? we're just supposed to trust that you're the good guys? whoever you are?

this is mike in control of his own mind, mike who's finally acting like himself again, and he's telling us not to blindly trust anyone just because they're supposedly a good guy. he's telling us not to trust him, just like el didn't seem to earlier. because he doesn't trust himself right now. because he's been acting like someone else. if there's one thing mike is stellar at, it's tactical calls like this. this is exactly what happened when will was possessed

mike retreats upstairs to read el's letter, isolating himself. that particular habit becomes something very interesting in a little bit

dear mike, i have gone to become a superhero again. from, el

he realises that his words pushed el towards this decision, that he's the reason she chose to go back to some version of the lab, and he starts to wonder why the hell he said any of it. this kind of implies that what he said downstairs was entirely based on intuitive, subconscious knowledge, since he was pretty focused on the situation in front of him, and seeing something solid and tangible that proves there’s merit to the idea of something being wrong with him just kicked his brain into high gear

mike’s still very present in the hawkins part of the story during dear billy. they’re in mike’s space, and the way they’re hanging out without him there and not even trying to think of a plan makes his absence really obvious. max writes him a letter. max says his name twice, either independently of anyone else’s or before them. he appears in max's memory montage

we see the basement for the first time this season and it's as bad as his room. the lighting is much darker and less homey than before, there's no natural light, and the mess makes it feel claustrophobic when it’s actually a very open space. it's hard not to think that this is meant to be a physical representation of what's going on in mike's mind

as for what mike's actually doing, he has a clear head for the first time since he landed in california because vecna doesn't need to use him to mess with el anymore, and he's using it to question his own actions and words and why they don't reflect what he actually thinks

will: i… i just don't think they've actually thought this through. if this goes on for a month, or months, and people can't get a hold of us, they're gonna totally freak out. meanwhile my mom's probably having a panic attack already.

this is said by a rambling, pacing will, while mike sits on the edge of the bed, not moving, staring a hole through el's letter. it's the next day, and he's still hung up on it. he still can't figure out why he called el a superhero. this is a different type of anxiety than we've seen from mike before, because when mike is anxious he's usually the one pacing non-stop until everyone is annoyed with him. we saw that behaviour from him just last night, so he hasn't just dropped it

mike paces when he wants to fix an external problem. the fact that he's not moving at all here suggests that this is an internal one

the joyce mention can only be indicative of mike's mental space, because joyce isn't that anxious at all this season. certainly not enough to be reminiscent of a panic attack. this isn't foreshadowing for joyce, it's utilising the similarities between her and mike to tell us what he's on the edge of until will pulls him out of it

the idea of a problem lasting for months is interesting too, because threats from the upside down usually last for about a week. i think it's meant to indicate that what mike is quietly freaking out about has been going on for months, and that it’s connected to what's happening in hawkins

mike: before the cops came, me and el, we had a bad fight. we never fight. [...] but, i don’t know, this one just felt more adult.

when they got interrupted, they weren't talking about mike's inability to say he loves el. they were talking about el being a superhero

mike's confused as he says they never fight, which backs up el's confusion over his comment at dinner and his own confusion during the fight in question as mike not being in control during that conflict. this isn’t normal behaviour, and mike’s the one who started it so mike’s not normal right now

the adult comment is really telling too. it felt more adult because it was more adult, because there was an adult involved. vecna was involved

mike: and maybe i should've said something, and if i would've said that thing, then maybe she'd want me there with her. wherever she is.

the show wants us to think he's talking about the romantic conflict. but if what he's thinking about is the idea of breaking up with el, and what he's thinking about has him on the verge of a panic attack, then it can't be el because we've seen his reaction to breaking up with her before and he was totally fine. what they’re telling us is going on in mike’s head makes no sense at all

this is a trick. just like mike’s fake shirt. they're distracting us with the relationship drama and letting us assume that it's about el or will as we please, while mike never specifies that that's what he's talking about

he means the main bulk of the letter. he's talking about calling el a superhero instead of telling her what he actually thinks which is that she doesn't need powers to have worth. he's on the verge of a panic attack because he doesn't know why he said that, because he feels like he's losing his mind again, and because it physically drove el away to get her powers back at the same time as bad things are happening in hawkins. that combination usually leads to el endangering herself and mike protesting, so him driving her to it without even meaning to is definitely panic-worthy

will tells mike that he can see el again and say whatever he wants to say then, but mike clearly isn't convinced. he's not reassured. he doesn't want to hear that he's going to see el again. he doesn't actually want el to have taken him with her. because being near el means uncontrollably saying something he doesn't believe that hurts her again. this is the start of mike wanting to distance himself from el to protect her

mike significantly perks up when joking around/flirting with will and after jonathan makes the plan for them to go to hawkins (away from el), which leads into possibly the most mike scene in this entire season: the bedroom heart to heart with will

will: you're packed already? mike: yeah, i mean, i never really unpacked. thanks, by the way. will: for what? mike: for knocking some sense into me. i mean, i was being a total self-pitying idiot.

there's... a lot going on here. they bring up mike's emotional baggage and then almost immediately have him brush off his panic (a near panic attack, remember) from earlier that he never actually dealt with. both of their reactions support what i was saying earlier, that it would be ridiculous if mike was that panicked over el. not even el being in danger, just a fight with el

will definitely did the right thing by pulling mike out of that spiral and it makes sense that mike would thank him for that, but he was still thinking about it at the end of that scene before he got distracted by jonathan's plan. mike is still bottling things up. there are still things about mike that are being hidden from us

mike attributes his change in mood to will, which isn't entirely wrong. support systems do make a difference in fighting off possession, as seen with the shed scene back in season 2, and mike was instrumental in bringing will back so the opposite is most likely true. but the fact is that it isn't just will, it's that vecna isn't actively using mike anymore, and it’s that mike thinks he’s going to hawkins where he won’t be able to hurt el so he can stop worrying about it for now

mike: hey, also, about the last few days...

it was incredibly intentional that mike didn't get to finish this sentence. it would have told us too much if he did. getting an insight into what mike’s version of the first two days in california looked like would probably answer a lot of questions

mike gets distracted by will's inability to accept an apology, going against his prior, uncharacteristic behaviour of apparently noticing how will was feeling but not really doing anything about it, and we get likely the same information we would have but framed in a different way

mike: listen, the truth, is the last year has been weird, you know?

presumably he's just being dramatic again and actually means the time since the byers moved, but that's still a long time. and if things have been weird in the same way that the last few days have been weird, where he’s constantly confused and not acting like himself and not knowing what’s going on at all, that has some really sinister implications

will nods in response, because he does know. will knows what it's like to be possessed. he knows what it's like to have someone else in your head. he knows what it's like to feel like you're going crazy. he knows what it's like when someone else is using you to hurt the people you care about

mike says he feels like he was focusing too much on el and that he lost will in the process. vecna was using mike to upset el. he was pushing her where he wants her to go on the chess board. he was pushing her into remembering him so that when he tortures her he'll get the full satisfaction out of it. mike wasn't allowed to focus on will because vecna wouldn't get anything out of that

the way mike mends his relationship with will here by just being himself and caring is exactly what vecna was trying to avoid by not letting mike talk to el

they get knocked off course by the shootout, plans change, and their new goal is to find a way to el

vecna continues to leave mike alone, focusing on patrick and the nosy teenagers that are poking around his house. he wants the cali crew (and mike specifically) to find el, and just letting mike do his thing is the easiest way to make that happen

when argyle starts freaking out in the desert, mike realises while standing over an open grave that not only did his words send el away, they could directly lead to her death if anything happens to her. and he still has no clue why the fuck he said that. he freezes up again (continued indication that this is an internal conflict within his mind) as he gets caught up in that thought spiral, because he didn't actually resolve it before despite what he said to will. during their conversation on top of the car, mike connects the mystery of unknown hero agent man’s dying (lack of) words to his own situation

why didn't he just say the number? -> what the hell was going on with mike in the monster/superhero fight?

because mike still can't figure it out. he still doesn't know why he couldn’t just tell el what he thinks of her

mike: i should've explained myself. maybe then eleven would've taken me with her and things would be different, but i... will: no. mike: i didn't know what to say.

there's the reoccurring oddity of mike being uncharacteristically lost again. he didn't know what to say because he didn't know what was going on, and he still doesn't understand the fight or the things he said or why he lied right to el's face

the idea that things would be different if that fight had gone differently is an interesting thing to bring up. they're telling us it's important. the things mike said in that scene are important. if mike wasn't neutralised like this, things would be different. that's why vecna couldn't let him run wild and still entertain any idea of success

i think what they’re really getting at is if mike was able to give el a stronger hint that something’s wrong. because el is very clever, and i do believe that she figures it out near the end of the season, but it would’ve made a significant difference if she got it just a few days earlier

will: i think it's just scary to open up like that. to say how you really feel. especially to the people you care about the most. because what if they don't like the truth?

queercoding aside, that last question really freaks me out within this context. because yes, it was the 80s, but good people existed in the 80s. good people have always existed. our cast of main characters is made up of good people. none of them would hate mike for being queer, even if it's a very understandable fear for him to have. but if mike was unwittingly giving information to vecna? if he was used to push vecna's plans into motion? if he was used to cause the downfall of hawkins?

that's a much, much scarier thing to think about. because i find it more plausible that people would be angry at him for that. mike could easily think so too, even if it's not his fault. he'd certainly blame himself

then mike finds the coordinates, figures out what NINA is, and has the idea to go to suzie for help

the assumption that NINA is a phone -> the assumption that what mike wants to say is that he loves el

the reality that NINA is a computer -> the reality that what mike wants to say is that el doesn't need to have powers or be a superhero to matter

mike: now i don’t know if NINA’s a computer like joshua or owens’ lab, but unknown hero agent man, he gave us access to it for a reason. we just need to find the computer. we find owens, then we warn him. then we warn eleven. i just need a hacker.

this is a coded way for them to talk about what’s going on with mike through the connection they established between the number and the superhero fight. he doesn’t know what’s happening to him, but he knows that it’s happening for a reason. he needs to find out what the situation is and then warn el. and he can do that by going to suzie

mike’s headache from the first episode makes a reappearance when they get there. vecna’s still in his head, just dormant. mike lies flawlessly with will, in contrast to dustin, lucas and max doing a very bad job of it. they’re reminding us that mike is good at lying to make us look closer at the things he’s been saying

suzie: i’m really sorry. truly. but it looks like you came all the way here for nothing. unless… mike: unless? suzie: there might be a way. but we’re gonna need help. and i mean a lot of help.

they said that mike would find answers at suzie’s house. this is it. the scene cuts to karen looking for the kids and running down into the basement right after this, which is looking good for their relationship growing stronger next season

mike came here looking for a computer, and they end up needing suzie’s father’s computer, which is locked up in his study. they use the help from before to distract him, sneak in, and start looking for answers

jonathan: maybe it’s hidden in the code somehow? mike: what you just said makes no sense. suzie: hold your butts. i’ll just trace the IP.

someone’s going to overcomplicate the situation because mike’s head has so much constantly going on in it that even a certified genius like suzie has an initial “what is all this?” reaction to it when she sees the mountains of code on the real world equivalent. but there’s going to be a really simple solution that most of them were too overwhelmed to think of immediately

the cali crew succeed, so whatever this section is foreshadowing in season 5, it’s going to work. much better than the similar plan of this season. there are a million more distractions, everyone gets out unharmed, and the person who locked up the computer is none the wiser at the end

even with the coordinates, they have a hard time finding NINA. mike and will are on the same page but jonathan insists on rechecking the map. it's right, and they remind us that mike said as much. we should trust what he's thinking about something being wrong with him and we should trust the coded solution he just found

argyle is the one who actually finds the trail, so for some reason he's going to be really important to fixing this problem

back in hawkins, vecna plays mind games with nancy and uses her as a messenger for el too. apparently that's just a thing for the plot relevant wheelers

then there's the painting scene. which i think vecna was listening in on, but i don’t think he was influencing it

the answers they found at suzie's were that mike needs help. will gives him help when he starts spiralling about the closing distance between him and el, real help that actually gets through to him, by reminding him of who he fundamentally is. when mike is literally losing himself, that makes all the difference

the scene is also very visually similar to when will was possessed. will is being absolutely smothered in light from the window, because he's mike's light, the one max says you have to hide in to escape vecna, and when the shed scene turned into a time skip montage mike was lit in a similar way

mike: i mean, she’s special. she was born special. maybe i was one of the first people to realise that.

this doesn’t make any sense unless it’s mike looking back into vecna’s mind without realising, because it’s just not true for mike but it is something vecna would think. he was talking about how el was born special (like him) just last episode. he’s the one who told her the secret to making her powers stronger because he saw himself in her

if you zoom in on what mike’s saying, you get “maybe i was one”. was. past tense, when el was nearby. now he’s mike again

when nancy delivers the message for el, it includes seeing mike dead. vecna definitely knows who he is and he's in danger

then we find out, through el, that mike did try to call will. he tried to call him a lot. enough that dustin was sick of hearing about it

dustin: i told you, joyce has this telemarketer job. she's always on the phone. mike won't stop whining about it.

so why didn't mike say as much in their rinkomania fight? he'll complain to dustin but not to will? he was defending himself, saying it's not solely on him to maintain that relationship, so why wouldn't he say something along the lines of "at least i tried," because we all know mike can get harsh in arguments with will that he thinks are unfair

why would mike say that will should have reached out more but not say that he did try to reach out himself? he told el that he called her every night for 353 days without any hesitation, so he doesn't think admitting to that kind of thing is embarrassing. he wanted el to know that he missed her. he protested when will said he deserved the way he was treated during that argument. he wasn't afraid of will knowing how much he cares because he started shamelessly flirting and told will that hawkins isn't the same without him like two days after their fight, once he started acting like himself again

and that's the problem. because it wasn't fully mike at that point. all he could get out was "that's just not true," which was calling on our pre-existing knowledge of him to piece things together

which is exactly what el starts doing. she has a lot on her mind, but she's noticed all of mike’s odd behaviour already. this is just another thing that's so blatantly contradictory that it pushes her towards really questioning where all of it is coming from. she knows this doesn't make sense. if she heard mike and will arguing about the calls she heard mike say that he was the bad guy. that was the very first hint mike seemed to be trying to give anyone that something was wrong with him, the first real effort he made to warn them, despite not fully knowing what he was warning them of. and el's figuring it out. this perfectly matches up with what jonathan said at suzie's about the answers being hidden in the code, and with mike’s goal of warning el

we get our second elmike reunion of the season, and it's right this time. el gives him a once over when she first sees him, and she seems to realise very quickly that this is actually mike. his smile looks real. he’s wearing his signature colour. he hugs el the way he usually does. they do their cute little forehead touch thing that we saw in starcourt after vecna almost killed her. he's not wearing unnecessary sunglasses. he's not ignoring will

in contrast to the shitty knockoff comment from the airport reunion, we get this

el: oh, mike. is it really you? mike: it's me. i'm here. el: okay.

that's the most "loved one fighting off possession" dialogue ever. and there's no reason el would ask that question if she hadn't realised that he's been not mike at some point, because el isn't a character like mike or joyce or hopper or will who's had problems with not knowing what's real before

this is confirmation that despite vecna's interference, mike is still here. this is will speaking through morse code and just saying the word "here" after being given strength by mike and his family, just like mike was given strength by will. and el looks so happy about it that it suddenly makes me as emotional as the willel reunion does

then we get into the piggyback, which i think has some layers to it as an episode title. it's been said a lot that vecna's like el. not just that he has powers like her or that he's from the lab like her, but that he's like her. it's incredibly easy for me to believe that they think similarly enough to have the same ideas. using mike to get to el could be described as piggybacking

el came up with it by remembering the times she's gone into people's minds to find the source of why they changed. i think this could be part of the solution to getting mike back. it matches up with what suzie said about tracing the IP address. el will have to go into mike's mind to help him, finally letting us see everything that's been going on with him throughout the whole show. mike's role in the party is sharing vital information, so it wouldn't surprise me if he spies back on vecna like will did, especially since that was mike's idea in the first place, or shows el the way to find max or vecna's weakness

it's interesting that they keep calling it a mind fight too, because that doesn't really make me think of a fight in the mind. it sounds like a fight for the mind. and that's definitely not what happens with max, because her life is at stake, not her mind

over in russia, the adults finally hear about what’s going on

hopper: she said the doc's with the girl. and the girl went off to fight some evil in hawkins. then they all went off-grid. the doc, the girl, everybody. [...] and they're not alone. joyce's kids are with them.

mike isn't included in the group that's fighting vecna. this omission makes sense for argyle, because hopper doesn't know he exists and joyce has no reason to think he'd be with them, but there's no way in hell that mike would leave el or will in the middle of this. joyce knows that. joyce has seen firsthand how stubborn he is when will is in danger, and hopper came around to him being the same way with el by the end of season 3

i don't think this is a character thing. joyce only briefly saw mike acting weird at dinner after months of being nowhere near him and that isn't really enough to figure anything out, even for her. i think it was a very conspicuous decision for the writers to not align him with the strictly good guys’ side when they had the opportunity to

argyle making a pizza is included in the preparing for battle montage. it's funny, but it also implies that whatever happens with that pizza will be important to defeating vecna

then el and mike get their first real conversation. when mike puts the pizza box glasses on and confirms that they work, el is watching him like she's looking for something. it's only when he starts goofing around, like when he joked about his singing or made fun of himself with the M&Ms in season 3, that el relaxes and starts giggling and looking absurdly happy again. this is the way mike always tries to make el laugh. it's nothing like the lame socks joke from rinkomania

mike is literally in the dark. he can't see what's going on. el can

el: mike. mike: yeah? el: i… missed you. mike: yeah. yeah, i missed you too.

el is weighing her words very carefully. she doesn't know how much she can say to mike yet. and it really sounds like they've missed each other for longer than the few days separation, because they haven't really been together like this in months

from there mike brings up the monster/superhero fight again, and el just listens. she's feeling him out, waiting to see if he has some kind of explanation for what was going on there. because he was back to himself in the reunion scene, he was back to worrying about her safety and being relieved when she's okay. that was completely at odds with the superhero comment

argyle shows up with his pizza before mike can apologise or tell el that she doesn't need to act like a superhero for him to care about her. the pizza is for mike, it turns out, but he doesn't want it

and he shouldn't, right? wasn't food bad?

el: good. mike: it's good? what do you mean it's good? el: really good. mike: that's insane. that's blasphemous.

mike seems to think so. but then argyle and el conspire against him (and the fact that they're worried enough about him to make him eat something in the first place is really telling of how much trouble he's in), and he admits defeat and accepts more help

mike: okay, okay! no, you're right. it's good.

el says the pizza is good. jonathan and argyle said the risotto was good. will was eating at breakfast

mike wasn't eating the risotto when he disappeared and someone else filled his place. mike wasn't eating breakfast before he went up to el's bedroom and someone else filled his place. mike wasn't eating back in season 2 while his parents listed off all the ways he's bad and horrible, fundamentally, as a person. mike wasn't eating in the first episode when his parents said that he shouldn't look for will. nancy told mike that the things he likes to eat are disgusting in season 1

it was never about vecna. the food is mike. admitting that the food is good is admitting that he is good

el knows this. will knows this. jonathan knows this. argyle knows this, and he's only known mike for a week. the entire party knows this. dustin, lucas, joyce, max. even karen's catching on. ted thinks the game mike likes is lame and for nerds, but that it being called pure evil is ridiculous. nancy cried when she saw a vision of mike's dead body and used the desire to keep that from becoming reality as fuel to keep fighting

dustin told mike not to jump off the quarry. el always finds the strength to save mike. steve saved him in the tunnels. max freaked out when she thought he was dead at starcourt

mike constantly throws himself into dangerous situations with no care for his own safety. he put himself at high risk of getting shot during the shootout by physically shielding the others because he thought that would be better than will or jonathan getting shot, which jonathan had to put a stop to

everyone knows that mike wheeler is worth it. they're just waiting for him to catch up

that's what mike needs to beat this. he needs to realise that he, mike wheeler, is worth fighting for, exactly as he is. that his continued existence in this world is worth preserving. that he can't let himself disappear. fighting for his friends isn't enough, he has to fight for himself

here’s where we get into the mind fight, which mike isn’t really apart of, so there shouldn’t be a lot to say. right?

vecna: you think i don't see what you're doing? memory max: is mike a good kisser? vecna: you think i don't see everything?

no, it turns out there’s this very conspicuous placement of a mike mention in this part of the story. the dialogue in the memory montages this episode matter, and max's first one in the running up that hill scene had barely any dialogue because words don't seem to be the point for her. the point is the togetherness and joy and sense of belonging from having fun with her friends. if the point of that memory is el laughing, they could have just had that. they didn't have to include the line about mike right in the middle of vecna saying he sees everything, but they did. because vecna is watching mike, and watching el through mike

el was giving the cali crew updates the whole time she was looking for max. vecna only came for max when el said she was getting close so that he wouldn’t kill max too soon

into the red mind soup world we go! vecna monologues, tells el she's the monster, says that the whole point of this was for her to watch max die

vecna: all i needed was someone to open the door. and you did that for me. without even realising it. didn't you? and when you did realise, you chose to resist.

this would work perfectly if you put mike in this scene. mike was used to open the door to get el here. mike didn't know what he was doing. mike doesn't even need to fully realise what's happening to resist it

and now, we’ve finally reached the infamous monologue

mike asks if el can hear him a lot. the answer is yes, but she can't tell him. she can't tell him because of the vines. she can't tell him that she knows what he's been trying to say all week because mike isn't just mike anymore

mike: el? i don't know if you can hear this, but… but if you can, i want you to know i'm here, okay? i'm right here.

more confirmation that mike hasn't disappeared yet. that he's still in there. that there's still hope

then he starts getting into all the obvious lies. but the thing is, i don't think they're lies, because i don't think mike is the one saying them. mike is a good liar. vecna is giving the monologue. which means it's not a lie, it's just not true. and mike looks like he's fighting it the whole time. this is where the alternate interpretation of what a mind fight is comes in

at the end of season 3, max and mike were the ones with el when vecna chased her through starcourt. they tried to protect her from vecna. they stalled long enough to keep el from getting skewered and for joyce to close the gate. now el is trapped, max is being killed in front of her, and mike is monologuing down from the sky and making her cry. they are both being used to hurt el

el knows that mike hasn't loved her since the day they met, because she heard him say he wanted to send her back to pennhurst that first night. el knows that mike can live without her (if not happily), because he made it a whole year into her disappearance but less than a week into will's. el knows that mike's life didn't start the day he met her, because he tried to end it a few days later when she ran off and took any hope of finding will with her

it's not until mike calls el a superhero again that she realises exactly what's happening

el's reaction to mike saying he can't lose her looks like she's thinking the exact same thing. she knows something's wrong with mike, and she doesn't want to lose him either, because he was one of the first friends she ever made and she doesn't want him to disappear

mike starts parroting what brenner said about flying and moving mountains, and el looks angry. she looks at vecna, looming ominously over max, not lifting a finger to stop mike's supposedly good monologue. and then she's able to pull away from the vines

mike was a distraction. mike was keeping el from breaking away sooner and saving max and hawkins

this is what they meant by forced conformity killing the kids. mike didn't choose to conform to society's expectations of the nature of his relationship with el, he was forced into it. and max died because of it

max's plan didn't work. nancy's plan didn't work. el's plan didn't work. dustin's plan didn't work

joyce's plan did. joyce caught vecna off guard again. and it worked because she didn't tell the kids what she found out about hopper. mike had no clue what she was doing. he didn't know she was involved, and vecna distracted him before he could figure it out by himself

vecna screwed himself over. because despite all the posturing about being the superior specimen, vecna is not as smart as mike. that's why mike had to be free to find el. because mike is better than him. mike has foiled his evil plans over and over and over again. even now, when vecna's supposed to have total control, mike managed to warn el when he was only at 30% control against vecna's 70%, and he did it in a way where vecna doesn't even know she knows. vecna screwed himself over letting mike have even that much, because mike is better than him, whether he likes it or not

the gates opening -> mike urging el to wake up -> el reviving max

once again, mike is right in the middle of things that are happening because of vecna despite supposedly having nothing to do with it

the fact that he's crying is also a massive red flag. he's one of the most emotionally closed off characters on the show. he only cries when something's seriously wrong

he really is terrified of losing el, and he's spent the better part of the past week trying to figure out why he said something he didn't mean that pushed her into danger, and he just said a bunch more stuff he didn't mean, and she hasn't woken up yet, and if she never does it'll be his fault

two days later, mike is back to himself. the first thing he does is hug karen

karen: you are never going on vacation again, you hear me? in fact, you can forget about college. you are staying right here.

there’s more of mike being “here,” officially adding karen to the list of people who will probably be fighting for him in season 5

then we cut to jonathan and nancy

jonathan: this isn't an earthquake. i know. i know a lot more than you think. nancy: how? we've been trying to call you— jonathan: i know. i know, i'm sorry. we just couldn't risk contact. nancy: "we couldn't risk contact"? jonathan: hey, hey. i'll tell you everything, okay? i promise.

we know jonathan's very perceptive. jonathan sees things that people try to hide. jonathan's been with mike all week, jonathan's seen everything, and jonathan's hinting at having more answers than anyone would expect

i honestly think he has the best frame of reference for mike's normal behaviour. he's known him since he was five, he's older than him so has a better memory of certain points of his life (as illustrated by the toy up the nose story that will only vaguely remembered), and he didn't stop paying attention to him the second he stopped being cuter than his baby sister like the wheelers did

at the hospital, mike is in the same room as lucas for a grand total of ten seconds before lucas notices that something’s wrong with him

will looks concerned when he finds out how messy mike has gotten from nancy’s lighthearted jab about his bedroom. it seems like a lot of different people are collecting a lot of different pieces that they'll have to put their heads together to make sense of

i can't for the life of me figure out what tipped him off. i have no idea what's going through his head or why he gives mike such a suspicious look, similar to el's from the pizza box glasses conversation. mike can't see lucas as he realises something’s wrong because it's during the hug, just like he couldn't see el before, which means that vecna can't see that they're onto him either

i'm confident that he was 100% mike at this point (with vecna still in his head, just dormant again), but the effect it's had on him is apparently still extremely noticeable to the people who know him very well

mike didn't seem to know that el brought max back to life. she didn't tell him, and she doesn't explain now either. he'll have to be in the dark on basically everything in season 5 for them to stand a chance, up until the point where they get him back properly, which is a major problem because mike is instrumental to figuring things out and making plans. hawkins literally fell apart without him

when nancy talks to jonathan one on one again, they continue to hide what’s going on with mike behind the relationship drama. she says that she's glad jonathan was with mike first and will second, kind of as an afterthought, which is another hint towards jonathan knowing what's going on with mike

while they’re cleaning up the cabin, el not talking to mike goes from implicit to textual

will: did she… talk to you at all? mike: not much. i mean, a little bit.

this is exactly what jonathan was talking about. team hawkins was trying to call the byers, but they couldn't risk contact in case the government was listening. mike has been trying to call the byers, but they can't risk contact in case vecna is listening

i’m pretty sure this is what mike was going for in the first place. the idea of distancing himself from the group and el specifically. it’s exactly the kind of move he would pull, and it’s funny that they ended up going with what was originally mike’s plan because it’s just the best course of action. he came up with it days ahead of anyone else, based mostly on instinct and not the evidence that el and jonathan needed to collect over the week to figure it out

will: it's strange, knowing now who it was this whole time, but…

the camera is focused on mike as will says this. half of his face is in shadow, which conveys a sense of duplicity

we cut away for a second, but it comes back to mike for will to say that vecna won't stop until he's taken everything. vecna will likely try to completely take over mike's mind. possibly as a replacement body, because he knows they wouldn’t dare try the molotov cocktail trick when killing him means killing mike too. this matches up with what happened in season 2 and joyce's fear that will would cease to exist as the possession grew stronger

then the adults show up and mike gets an individual reunion with hopper, which kind of visually parallels the one with karen

hopper: you’ve grown. mike: yeah. you shrunk.

hopper’s comment puts him on the team of people who will be fighting to get mike back in season 5 too. staying “here” is connected to growth, and he’s happy to see that mike has grown, and he’s going to want him to keep doing that

mike’s part is more of the same of their dynamic from the start of season 3. mike is being annoying to show affection because hopper is one of the few adults he feels safe enough to act like an obnoxious teenager around. but hopper doesn’t get mad about it this time, he gets this fond smile on his face and initiates the hug. this is one more thing that mike’s been conditioned to think is bad about himself getting treated as good instead

hopper was vitally important to figuring out will’s possession. he was the first person joyce called and he’s the one who always figured out what will was saying when he found unconventional ways to communicate like through drawings or morse code. hopper’s probably going to do something similar for mike

[kit-williams]

A thought occurred. A terrible premonition.

Admittedly I don't know much about 40k but I have heard about the Lamenters and their supernatural bad luck.

And I've had a tedius few days (my ride had to cancel so I had to walk around on a hot sunny afternoon, can't find the TV remote, tripped going up the stairs, lost three hairbands with ten minutes of trying to do my hair, and more) SO my thinking:

A squad of baselines who also just have... the worst luck. Their called Canary Squad on account of an old Terran story of a bird being used by miners to suss out dangers somehow. When they go, just about anything that can go wrong does. It's safer for those who go in afterwards... but let's just say the mortality rates for this particular squad is high.

You would think command would get rid of such an unlucky team, but no. Besides the nightmare of red tape, clerical errors, delays and scheduling that is the administrative powers if the Imperium, their higher ups have... mostly figured out how to use this for their benefit. Mostly.

These poor souls could, and have, gone on patrol in a peaceful sector where Nothing Was Wrong... and it ended with a lot of fire, explosions, a Cult getting into a fight with some rebellious locals, a small Ork Warband crashing near their location, and a Chaos Space Marine accidentally getting teleported in the middle of the mess.

They always have some kind of injury or bruise or story, no matter what they do or say.

And then they meet the Lamenters. Everyone expects for them ALL to meet some horribly unfortunate end. Canary Squad jokes their gonna accidentally kill off a bunch of Space Marines, the Lamenters are already mourning these brave men and women they will inevitably lead to their deaths.

Only... that doesn't happen.

Oh, things go wrong, sure. They get hurt, and things are very touch and go for most of the mission, but... the mission is a success?

What?

Nobody died (on their teams, at least), they completed the mission, and managed to get off planet (by launching an airtight tank into space for someone to pick up) and back onto their ship.

It turns out their individual teams/chapters bad luck just... cancelled each other's out.

When a Canary trips, their paired Lamenter pauses to help them up, which delays them just enough to not get crushed by a sudden collapse when the support beams in the building fails. A Lamenters foot goes through the floor, causing the Canary to stumble/fall, which saves them from a malfunctioning pressure gauge that explodes and would have put metal scrap through the baselines skull.

A Lamenter saves a Canary from a sudden drop, and because they had to bend/kneel to catch them they avoid the thing that would have hit him and sent him tumbling down that same drop.

A Canary accidentally activates a security alarm/trap/defense, but the Lamenters bolter misfires and causes a power outage, cancelling said alarm (and possibly causing the people there to think it was a malfunction due to the power outage).

They get surrounded, somebody drops a grenade, somebody else kicks it, and it lands near something explosive and/or flammable. The Lamenters cover their baseline buddies, and suddenly there are no enemies. The building/ground does begin to collapse tho.

Like a weird symbiosis. One sides bad luck counters the other, and they just keep cancelling each other out until they end up in a kinda-okay situation? By their standards at least.

Everyone is baffled, but none of them are gonna complain. If anything they think it's a gift/blessing from their genefather or them Emperor (or both). They all get very attached to each other.

All of this to say:

*Lamenter holding up his designated human* "this is my lucky charm."

I genuinely wish I could add more to this but like the idea is complete and wonderful and that the idea their combined bad luck is so bad that it cancels each other out because the bad luck is trying to get them killed and trying to get the others killed just this is peak

[soapier]

big talk || schlatt

schlatt x f!oc

ted finally tells his friend schlatt about his little sister.

part 001

(old draft from january to keep yall fed til i graduate college)

“bro, do not ever interact with my sister,” ted sighed, resting his head in his hands. schlatt had been on a minutes-long tangent since discovering, after more than five years knowing one another, ted had a little sister.

he’d only said something since he was recording from his parents’ house, in town for our cousin’s wedding.

tucker was making fun of him for not knowing, having become rather familiar with his younger sibling over their nearly two decades of friendship.

“i just can’t believe you never told me!” schlatt was clearly very upset, and to be fair, he kind of had a right to be.

ted sighed, “you know what? fine.”

taking off his headphones, he called out from the other room, “weezy!”

“what?” i yelled back from across the hall, annoyed that he was interrupting my work on the essay i had due at 11:59.

“c’mere!” was all he said. with a sigh, i pushed myself off of my bed and stalked into his childhood bedroom, crossing my arms with an expectant look on my face.

he unplugged his headphones, allowing his friends’ conversation to be heard full blast.

“oh, is that tucker? hi tucker!” i didn’t move from my spot, hearing a distinct second voice in the call.

“who the fuck is that? is that your sister? what the fuck, ted?”

i watched my brother stand from his desk chair, grabbing an old red sox sweatshirt from his bed, and snatching some sunglasses off of a nearby shelf.

“put these on, my friend schlatt wants to meet you.”

i did as told, laughing as i asked why ted was making me go “incognito” to meet the guy he’d been friends with for years.

“because i don’t wanna hear it,” he sighed.

“hear what?” his friend yelled through the screen, “you think i don’t know how to treat a lady?”

things began to click in my mind as i assumed the impromptu disguise.

ted sat back down and gestured for me to join him in front of the camera.

grabbing an old camping chair leaned against his closet door, i set it up beside him before sitting down to face his screen.

“hey ‘weez” tucker said, his smile familiar after all these years.

“hey tucker,” i greeted back with a grin.

the third guy in their call, the one with sideburns and dark eyes, was nearly red in the face at this point.

he leaned into his mic, “your name… is weezy?”

puzzled, i confirmed.

“what the fuck kind of name is that?”

“big talk for a guy who didn’t tell ted his real name for, what was it, two years? its short for louise, moron.”

his voice was gruff, “oh you are just like your brother. worse, even,” his eyes bored into me. “at least i did a face reveal.”

i felt my face grow hot behind the sunglasses, while ted argued back with his friend.

“i made her put them on,” he glanced over at me, positively drowning in the hoodie i was told to don. the height genetics apparently skipped me. “a, she doesn’t want her face online, and b, i don’t need you to be blowing up her dm’s, thank you very much.”

i watched as his friend, schlatt, looked down for a moment before my own phone buzzed.

on my screen, a follow request from his account.

i held it up to my brother giggling as he clearly grew cross.

“schlatt, what did i say? do not, ever, interact with my little sister. and what did you do?”

“well she accepted the request,” if there was anything i liked to do, its fuck with my brother.

ted looked over, betrayed. “weezy, how could you?”

“i have an essay to write,” i shot him a shit-eating grin. “bye, tuck. bye, big guy.”

“she wants it! she wants me to-” was all i heard from ted’s computer before he plugged his headphones back in.

i took off the sunglasses and hoodie, hurling the latter at my brother’s head before leaving the room with a middle finger in his direction.

before i could resume working on my essay, i get two quick instagram notifications; one, schlatt liking the pictures i’d posted from my cousin’s wedding, the other being a dm that simply read “you should come down to ny with ted tomorrow”

[tired-biscuit]

Make Rengoku and Tengen kiss!! it's for science i swear to god- *i get dragged to a asylum*

— based on this post.

“you know what, i think you guys should kiss.”

the two men you’ve been drinking sake with for the last couple of hours pause mid-conversation to look at you. after successfully wrapping up a mission together, both kyojuro and tengen had come barging into your rented room to make themselves comfortable for the night, bearing food and drink. apparently being all set to return home earlier than expected is good enough of a reason to celebrate — at least that’s what tengen seems to think.

initially, you’d hesitated. being stuck in the same room and getting drunk with the person you’re harbouring unrequited feelings for - as well as a mutual loudmouth friend, who could very much accidentally expose said feelings with said loud mouth - didn’t seem like a wise decision to make. but after some persuading and some sake poured into your system, you’d finally given in. had swayed right into it, actually.

so now you sit, pleasantly buzzed, and watch as confusion slowly begins to settle on tengen’s and kyojuro’s faces; growing more and more apparent the longer you choose to stare at them in complete silence.

unashamed expectation lingers in the air around you. they don’t have to say anything or even move a muscle, but you can tell that you’re making them flustered. kyojuro especially.

tengen is the first to pull himself out of his stupor. “what did you say?”

“i said you guys should kiss,” you repeat, as effortless as the summer breeze outside. “unless you’re too scared to do it, that is.”

“hah!” tengen lets out a derisive snort at your provocation, downing his glass and pouring himself another one right after. he brings the rim up to his lips as he adds, “sweetheart, i’ve killed four demons tonight. i’m not scared of anything right now.”

kyojuro, however, is uncharacteristically quiet about the entire thing. since he rarely drinks because of something that has to do with his father, he’s become quite the lightweight. thus, he’s currently the drunkest out of the three of you despite drinking the least.

the gold in his eyes appears somewhat murky in colour when he lifts his gaze to look at you. when he speaks, he slightly slurs on his words, “why should we?”

“because she’s a filthy little pervert, that’s why,” tengen interrupts, downing yet another glass with an arrogant smirk that doesn’t seem to reach his eyes quite right. he drinks sake like he’s drinking hard liquor instead of taking his time with it. “but whatever… just come here, kyo. let’s get this over with already.”

kyojuro sputters when tengen grabs him by the shoulder and turns him so that they’re facing each other. something along the lines of “hold on, wait-!” leaves his lips, tone evidently panicky, but it’s quickly drowned out when tengen presses his mouth firmly against his and proceeds to kiss him.

you watch as your crush’s face grows feverishly redder with each passing second. while tengen continues to kiss him, holding him in place with a persistent hand on the back of his head, kyojuro is beginning to blush so hard that it’s even changing the colour of his ears and neck. he’s squeezed his eyes shut, pretty eyelashes fluttering, the bridge of his nose all scrunched up as he slowly gives into the feeling and starts to kiss him back, confirming your suspicions.

your heart sinks.

finally, they finish the kiss with a soft, wet pop. by the time tengen pulls back to wipe his bottom lip with the back of his hand and break the thin string of saliva that’s still connecting their now panting mouths, kyojuro looks like he might just pass out.

“there,” tengen says, turning to look at you again. in a bat of an eye, he’s completely shifted his attention from kyojuro, back onto you, seemingly unaffected by the fact that he’d just been swapping spit with him. “happy? or would you perhaps want a kiss from me, too?”

jealousy and arousal swirl inside your chest, fighting to take control of the other. however, while both emotions can be seen as hot in nature, straining to make your blood boil, you sound completely cold when you focus back on kyojuro, who now seems to be dazedly touching his puffy lips, and say, “no.”

tengen’s smile falters, the corners of his mouth twitching.

he did that for you.

[henryhengli]

Working It Out

A post-8x16 BuckTommy reconciliation story

Author's Note: The first part of my first ever fic! I honestly never thought that I'd write something like this, but my pookies are deeply affecting to me right now, so I gave it a shot. Go easy on me! Feedback is very much welcome. I'm planning on this being a three-part story, and done by the time 8x17 comes out. All of it will go on Ao3 when my account is approved (like I said, never thought I'd be doing this). Enjoy!

______________________________________________________________

Part 1: Numb

Everything was dimmer after Bobby died. The sun shone a little weaker. The glint in everyone’s eyes was gone. Color had drained from the trees, from the rocks, from the signs lining the streets. The nights were darker, longer. Everything was sluggish, effortful. Waking up, going to sleep. It was all more difficult than it ever had been.

Hold it together. 

Buck sighed. He had been doing that a lot. He closed his eyes for a moment, wincing, trying to tune out the world for a moment so he could collect himself. They were en route to a call, Hen, Chim, interim Captain Gerrard, and himself sitting in a palpable silence. No one was looking at each other, the members of the 118 arrested in a perpetual daze. 

None of us should be working right now, Buck thought to himself. 

But life goes on. It had to, for their own sakes. Even in this joyless, grey-scale world, they had jobs to do. People to help. Duties to carry out. Buck knew that, that he had a duty to the rest of the 118. 

They’re gonna need you. 

Those words, that Bobby had given him right at the end, hung heavy. They were the last orders Bobby would ever give him, and Buck had no intention of disobeying these like he had so many before. So he had grit his teeth, put on a brave face, done whatever he had to do to make himself the rock that his family needed. Even if that meant he could barely remember anything that had happened these past few weeks, even if that meant lying to his loved ones that he was okay, he was willing to make that sacrifice. 

Buck sighed again. The things I’d do for you, Bobby. 

They pulled up to the scene, an old power station on the outskirts of the city. Abandoned and scheduled for decommissioning, it had apparently become something of a hideout for some idiot teens trying to get away from it all. 

Can’t say I don’t know the feeling. 

The fire was massive, smoke billowing high into the night sky. Several stations were involved in the operation; several trucks and assorted emergency vehicles amassed in a perimeter around the building. As Buck slid out from the truck, he heard helicopters overhead, running air support. Yet another sigh. His eyes went glassy for a moment, causing him to quickly blink any tears away before they could form. 

God, I can’t think about him right now. 

Tommy. If Buck was being honest, he hadn’t thought about him at all. How could he? What possible bandwidth could he have to ponder where he stood with that man? They hadn’t spoken since that night in the chopper. 

And for you, Tommy had said. 

Buck rolled his eyes at the memory. That line was out of a movie. Those kinds of heroics weren’t exciting anymore, not to this Buck. The Buck that had been excited, been so happy and so invested in the relationship he had with Tommy, been devastated by the breakup, who had to pull out all the stops to restrain himself from texting him every day since, who had gone against all his better judgement inviting him to his place that night, and had called him when he needed help…he was dead. Or at the very least, that all felt like it had happened a lifetime ago. This new world Buck was living in…it didn’t have room for emotions like that. 

Buck barely remembered seeing him at the funeral. Buck barely remembered the funeral at all. Chim had asked Tommy to be a pallbearer, to have Bobby’s original team alongside the new one. A generous gesture, Buck thought, given what had gone down between them - the rest of the 118 didn’t hold Tommy in such high esteem after he had dumped Buck so unceremoniously. Chim had asked Buck if he was alright with it, and Buck had said he was - he didn’t have the energy to put up any kind of fight about it, or to even consider what his actual feelings were, whether this new life had room for Tommy in it or not. He was too exhausted to consider himself at all. 

Buck squeezed his eyes shut again, trying to cut off the pain. 

Now’s not the time. You have a job to do. 

He gathered himself, his expression going vacant as he moved through his responsibilities like a zombie. He had done jobs like this a thousand times before, and this one was no different. Go through the motions, do your duty, and go home. He could tell his team was lacking, their minds scattered and hesitating. He had been doing his best to pick up their slack. If he didn’t, who would? 

Two teens, a young couple who had been in the middle of some tryst when the wires went hot and started the fire, were trapped inside. Buck had his orders from Gerrard, and the extraction operation was underway. Given the electrically volatile nature of the site, only the main entrance was deemed safe enough to get inside. 

“Buck, you with us?” Hen asked, a sympathetic look on her face. 

She had had that expression plastered on ever since Bobby died. Buck could see the pain behind her eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m here.” 

Liar. 

Buck swallowed the pang of guilt he felt and pressed on. 

“Let’s get this done.” 

They trudged forward into the blaze. 

The call had come in late after the fire had started due to its relatively remote location - the building was already starting to crumble. Pillars were coming down, the ceiling had buckled in portions, and there was enough refuse strewn about to keep the blaze going. 

What a pigsty this place must have been. Guess the fire is saving the city a clean-up job. 

“They’ve already swept the ground floor, we need to get up top!” Buck barely registered the words his team was shouting, or who they were coming from. 

Second floor, got it. 

“The stairs look intact! I’m heading up!” Buck shouted back. He started to make his way over to a side stairwell, his eyes trained on the floor for any live-wire debris. Hugging the wall, he headed up the stairs, treading carefully and testing each step to ensure he didn't accidentally fall through. 

“Fire Department! Call out!” He shouts through the haze of smoke. 

“Here! We’re here!” 

He hears a young woman’s voice coming from down the second-floor hallway. 

“My boyfriend, he’s- he’s passed out! I don’t know if he’s breathing!” 

“Hear that, Hen?” Buck calls down. “I’ve got someone for you!”

“I’ll be standing by for resuscitation,” she says cooly, all business. 

Moving towards the voices, he spots a door at the end of the hallway slightly ajar. Inside, he finds two teens, huddled in the corner of the room, behind some file cabinets. The girl is holding her legs close to her body, clearly in terror at her present situation. The boy is flat on the ground, eyes closed and mouth agape. Buck heads towards him first, kneeling down to hoist him over a shoulder. He motions towards the girl. 

“Can you walk?” 

She nods her head, shaken but not catatonic. 

“Follow me.” 

He heaves the unconscious young man and grabs the girl's arm, pulling her out of the room. Buck heard rumbling from overhead. The roof was rapidly losing stability, liable to come crashing down soon. 

For fuck’s sake. 

Buck didn’t have the energy for this. With the kid on his shoulder and worrying about electrocution between himself and the girl, he was barely hanging in there as it was. He guided them down the stairwell, back to the ground floor. He heard crumbling from above and behind him moments later. 

Just make it out. Just make it out. Just a little further. Do it for the team. Do it for Bobby. Just a little further. 

The heat was getting overwhelming and the foundations of the building were completely spent. Buck eyed a particularly nasty crack in the ceiling that was quickly spreading above them. 

“We’re gonna need to pick up the pace here!” he shouted over his shoulder. “Just a little more!” 

He was talking to himself as much as he was the girl.

 “Copy my movements!” 

Chim and Hen were up ahead, ducking under wires and stepping over debris, Buck following close behind, trying his best to communicate where it was safe to stand. The entrance slowly came into view. Buck glanced back up at the ceiling.

 “It’s gonna come down any second! Take them!”

He shrugged off the boy, Hen firmly wrapping a hand under his knees and the other under his back.

“Go on ahead! Follow him!” 

He pointed urgently to Chim.

 “O-OK!” 

The girl let go of his hand and trepidatiously went ahead of Buck. 

Bring up the rear. Gotta make sure they’re alright. 

Buck noticed himself slowing down a bit, his strength leaving him. Just then, there was a boom overhead. The roof had come down, landing on the first floor ceiling. The crack grew tremendously, the tiles holding on for a moment - then it came down. Buck was completely cut off from the others, and from the entrance. 

“Buck! Are you still there!” Chim’s voice was heavily muffled by the rubble. 

Fuck. 

“I’m here! I-I’m OK!” Buck did his best to shout, his voice hoarse. 

“I’ll look for another way!” 

Where? This whole place is a death trap. I’m not even buying my own bullshit at this point. 

“No! Stay put! We’ll clear the entrance!”

“There’s no time! Get clear!” 

Get clear. 

“Buck!” 

Fuck off, Chim. Get the kids and get out. Be safe. 

Buck winced and closed his eyes again. He had been doing that a lot lately, too. Shoving down the guilt he felt about that particular intrusive thought, he turned around, scanning what was left of the ground floor for something, anything. The windows were shot, wires had come apart everywhere - there were no other options. He took a deep breath, steeled himself, and headed back in towards the flames. 

Through what remained of what must have once been the lobby, he came upon a bank of elevators in the back corner. Most of them were shut, but one of the shafts’ doors were slightly bent, and a gap was large enough for Buck to squeeze his arm through and pry them open. The shaft was empty, and shining his flashlight down, Buck could see a basement floor beneath him. 

The fire started upstairs - this might be insulated enough. Let's hope the elevator isn’t in service. 

He chuckled to himself humorlessly, reaching out tentatively for the chord, giving it a tug to assess its worthiness at supporting himself and his gear. Behind him, more of the ceiling was coming down, landing with a great thud nervously close to his feet. 

Good enough. 

Taking the chord in his hand, he stepped off the edge, rappelling down into the darkness. 

[maxdibert]

Well, what can I say — I basically agree with almost everything, we pretty much share very similar views on this. Also, I think everything you’ve said is super interesting for anyone thinking about writing about the kid, because honestly, he’s a headache of a character in this context hahahaha.

That said, I’ve never imagined people messing with him like that. I always thought it was more about the fact that he’s been told so many times he’s ugly, horrible, and constantly mocked for his looks — plus the fact that he has basically no self-esteem and thinks he doesn’t deserve anything because of his overwhelming guilt. That’s what would make him think someone’s messing with him. Like, how could anyone be attracted to him? That would be the first thought crossing his mind, not because of past experiences of being tricked, but because he sees it as ridiculous that anyone would want something with someone like him. I mean, Severus hates himself with all his soul — he’s his own biggest hater — so the idea of someone actually wanting him would be like, “What the hell is wrong with this person?” Or at least, that’s how I’ve always imagined it whenever I try to develop this.

The point about his temperament is also 100% spot on. And I think it’s one of the most important aspects. No matter what kind of character you’re dealing with — canon or not — it has to be someone who can handle his shitty attitude. Because Severus is someone who constantly pushes people out of his life, his way of protecting himself emotionally is by pushing people away, and he doesn’t do it nicely either — he can be really cruel and unpleasant. So, a potential partner would have to be someone who’s also got a bit of a shitty personality to deal with his own crap, but at the same time, someone a little more emotionally mature than him, or at least mature enough to understand what he’s doing, why he does it, and how his behavior is basically just a defense mechanism.

I also think Severus would hardly be attracted to someone who didn’t have character. I mean, I’ve read fics where the MC is basically a cotton candy puff, and it just doesn’t feel realistic to me, I’m not buying it. Severus would eat a person like that alive and leave them needing therapy. Plus, Severus isn’t here to parent anyone, because he’s an emotionally dysfunctional adult stuck in adolescence — he can’t be the mature one emotionally in a relationship. He can’t be the one taking the lead in the flirting game, or the savior type, because he’s way too broken to even save himself. In that sense, I think he could only realistically work with someone who’s got a lot of character and would tell him to fuck off when necessary, but who also knows how to grab the bull (pun intended with what you said about Capricorn) by the horns. And yeah, the zodiac thing fits so well because Severus is one of the most stubborn, strong-willed, difficult signs in the whole wheel. It’s no easy task.

I picture him at first brushing off any compliments (another defense mechanism and that idea that people are messing with him), but even if he eventually realizes it’s not a joke, he’d still scoff whenever that person said something nice to him — like a cat hissing at you — brushing it off or going “there you go again with your nonsense,” because even if he knows they’re serious, he still doesn’t believe it or agree with it, and he has absolutely no idea how to accept a compliment. So he just scoffs, makes a face, and changes the subject.

I didn’t know there was a “maxdibert way” hahahaha, but honestly, at the time it seemed like a great idea — like look, I’m not here to be your therapist. The thing is: you turn me on. Deal with it. You’re a grown-ass man, you’ve got hair on your balls. And in the end, that’s how you have to treat kids too, right? You can be all understanding and pedagogical, or you can just tell them how it is and that they have to accept it. And I say “kids” because Severus is emotionally a child, basically.

As for the sex part, I also think he’d be someone who wants to be in control at first — to handle the situation so he can feel secure through that control — but if he ever gets comfortable enough, and his partner manages to get him to lower some of those walls, if he actually starts to feel truly safe with that person outside the bedroom, then he could eventually give up that control and even enjoy letting go. I’ve always thought of Severus as a switch in that sense — because precisely due to his lack of confidence and need to control things, at first he’d probably be pretty dominant, but as he gains trust and relaxes, he could let his partner take the lead and actually love being a sub and just letting himself go. Although for that to happen, he’d have to fully trust them — or at least that’s how I see it.

The exact wording of the ask I got was: 'what if someone was asking deprived!Snape (read my whole essay about him) to "break them off a piece of that KitKat bar?" How would they go about it?'

So today we're going to discuss this. Buckle up people.✨

SO his reaction will largely depend on the context and their current relationship but one thing that will happen FOR SURE every time before anything else is that he's going to think they're messing with him.

What else could it be? This man had been so heavily bullied as a teen his self-esteem is buried and has its own tombstone.

"Here lies Snape's self-image. Spit to pay your respect."

We don't have any canon proof of it happening but many people headcanon that some of the bullying might have been people being dared to come up to him and fake attraction or compliment him (so funny omg) only for him to realize they were just messing with him. It's totally the kind of immature stupid shit kids will come up with (speaking from personal experience here). Not funny but deeply scarring for one's self-image. So being told he's attractive would trigger him in his adult life. Any potential suitor asking him out would be welcomed with him immediately closing up and getting angry at them. They'd need to find a way for him to believe them first.

If you're thinking "this already sounds like a pain", yes it is. Welcome to deprived!Snape. Welcome to Snape, basically. If they want a piece of him, they have to brace themselves for the long run.

He will get angry and leave a lot. Fleeing the situation - since it's a very vulnerable subject for him - will be his go-to move. The whole ordeal will require patience. So what should this person do?

Friend or Stranger?

If it comes from a DE he'll think it's an angle. If it's from a member of the Order, he'll think it's a joke. If it's from a colleague at Hogwarts, he maaaay be a tad less suspicious? In any case, it will depend on how close they are. The more time they have spent together, the closer he'll be to not flip out... too much.

I'm a bit torn about his reaction if it was coming from a stranger. Either it's easier because he can lean into the idea that maybe they're lying about their attraction and he doesn't care (and if he's horny then why the fuck not, it won't affect him as much since they both now they're here for physical release) OR he might not be into it at all because he actually needs a real connection (and I think this is more realistic). Severus is a feral cat, he needs time to trust people.

What else? He could also maybe open up faster with someone not from his usual inner circles (a foreigner or a muggle) as the interactions wouldn't be charged with the same deep-rooted habits and expectations.

I also believe he'd unconsciously feel way more at ease with someone coming from a modest background. A pureblood aristocrat hitting on him would have little chance of getting past his natural distrust of them (unless he knows them very well).

So what should they do?

Build trust

The quality of their interactions and conversations will have a huge impact. Do they have an interesting personality? He needs someone capable of taking him on and keeping up intellectually. Can they keep up with him and challenge him?

Severus has a temper. Can they deal with his bullshit and not give up on him at the first scowl? Argue with him? It doesn't mean they can't be nice, but I don't see him get worked up over someone cowering under his gaze.

They need to be stubborn. He's a Capricorn and he's got the horns. He's hard-headed. They need to not back down when he bites or dismisses their attempts at flirting. One of Severus's classic tactic is to hurt people so they leave him alone, so they need to be able to dodge the attack, make fun of him or retaliate.

If they manage to deal with his temper, they will start to see what's on the other side of the snarky exterior. Then, they'll be able to start kneading the dough (Severus is the dough).

Convince him the attraction is real

That person could go the gentle/honest way, assuring him they're not kidding and explaining what they find attractive about him (he'd be super wary and need days to digest it - if he can). Genuine compliments could work quite well as he's good at reading people but it would be a process and it shouldn't be too much at once. He's NOT USED to compliments so if the person goes too hard, he's going to get overwhelmed, distance himself and reject it. A good trick would be to compliment his intelligence and magical skills alongside physical traits. A 2/3-1/3 ratio would be a good start. He would trust compliments about his big brain way more than anything regarding his cute butt.

Complimenting his presence, aura, voice might be good too as it's not directly related to physical traits. Else, physical starters could include hands and eyes. But I also love the idea of taking him by surprise and complimenting his nose. Might weird him out in a good way.

Or they could go the blunt way (or what I now refer to in my mind as the @maxdibert way) and be like "dude, I really think you're hot, deal with it" and leave him to sort his feelings out like a big boy.

The two strategies can be mixed of course. But at the end of the day, the real problem is that Severus as approximately a thousand confirmation bias in his mind telling him this is not happening. So what could they do to help ease this process?

Make him horny

Less overthinking = more chances to get this piece of ass.

Severus Snape needs to be warmed up. And as stated in my previous essay, he's plagued with the core beliefs that he's ugly, ridicule and undeserving. These beliefs need to be kneaded and challenged enough (not healed, this would take decades and it's not their job), so that he can relax and open up to the idea of intimacy.

Here are a few strategies to do so.

First, de-dramatize the subject. Making the topic less taboo by talking about it in a lighthearted way (no flaunting! certainly not!). A good move would be to joke about it. Deprived!Snape isn't comfortable with the subject but it's because it's evaded him and then he convinced himself he wasn't concerned or interested.

-> Here are some of the things he could benefit from hearing: that sex is not a big deal at all and we can laugh about it. It should be fun, a shared moment, trials and errors are part of it and there should no be judgment about experiences and preferences. People with a high 'body count' aren't necessarily good lovers, it's all about presence and intent etc.

His potential partner could share funny mishaps that happened to them and - when there's an opening - ask him what he would expect from a pleasant intimate moment (that's a very advanced move, don't forget he's bad with words)(it would only work in my opinion if they're both drunk and have been going at it for a while).

Also sharing experiences is a great way to build trust and intimacy (and arousal). He thrives on knowledge so learning more about his potential partner might ease his mind in some way (and give him some free intrusive thoughts). See it as added ingredients to make him simmer.

Though they shouldn't talk too much about the number of partners they had and said partner's skills. This might make him retreat. Again: low self-esteem and always on the lookout for an excuse to sabotage it.

Wait what about drunk!Snape you say? That's a trope we enjoy around here. Although I headcanon him as not being a heavy drinker (if a drinker at all because of his father) it would be a great way to lower a bit his inhibition. A DE would have a hard time sharing a drink with him, same for an Order member (he never stays after meetings but could be coerced), but a colleague could maybe drag him to the Three Broomsticks with other members of the staff and then leave early with him. wink wink Come on, rub his foot under the table and look at him choke on his ale. He'll skin you alive with his eyes and you can just raise a suggestive eyebrow back.

Persistence, persistence.

Of course a bit of physical baiting could help with his dusty libido. After all, they'd kinda be dealing with an teenager, experience-wise. Nothing too bold (though I headcanon that his sooty Cokeworth self would get way more worked up over unabashed desire than delicate courting but he's buried a bit too deep at the moment) but a nice cleavage, some leg showing, a fitting pair of pants or robes might not be a bad move. Since he might be uncomfortable with words, they could flaunt the goods in his face! The man has eyes, let him look and scold himself for looking. Also a few heavy looks, biting a lip and lingering fingers could go a long way for such a deprived man, especially if it's directed at him.

At the end of the day, the trick is to make him able to put his worry aside (or snap, if you find the word sexier).

They could go the provocative way, being insufferable and making him want to shut them up.

They could try some endless teasing until he's a lost hot mess, unable to express what he wants except by going 'fuck it' and going for it.

They could go slower and create a safe space with a weekly ritual (every Friday night meeting for a drink/to grade essays/to hang out) which can lead to a late night snog (floating candles optional).

They could be blunt and go 'I want to kiss you so bad right now' as they leave Hogsmeade together and are walking on the dirt path towards the castle. A gust of wind will prevent him from hiding himself behind his hair and they'll see the flush creeping on his face.

They could hammer the compliments and validation, because Severus craves recognition (is there a praise kink in there? yes). So first it could be his mind, his work, his skills... then the way his cape suits his frame so well, his silky voice... and then bam, hitting the nail on the head with complimenting his mouth. Blabbering mess guaranteed. Might flee but blush deliciously. Or might stop dead in his track and then it's time for them to claim these lips.

Kissing

Clumsy. Tentative. Awkward.

But earnest.

He might freeze at first. Wait, these lips knew how to do that once upon a time... how does it go again? He'll need a bit of time to remember but the best way to (re)learn is practice.

It will be a lot for him. As he's extremely touch-deprived he'd be literally rediscovering human contact. So much to feel, the supple of the lips, their shape, the softness, the wetness.

Honestly, deprived!Snape could get really worked up just from kissing.

(They could honestly make him cum just from this and some grinding. Amen. If he does he'd need reassurance after and still might flee and hide and snarl for a few days because male performance blahblahblah. Hopefully they'd be able to skip this step at this point in the relation.)

But I believe he'd enjoy it greatly and this might be a step he'd want to stay at for some time before going further.

Undressing

I headcanon deprived!Snape as being very self-conscious about revealing his body so it might only be possible with someone he really trusts. It might be painfully difficult for him (might require dimmed light if not obscurity but I mean come on, they're here to look at him and it'd be better for him to rip the bandaid... but giving him the option might help).

Either he'll be too aroused to care (or act as if he doesn't) or he'll feel very self-conscious and look for cues to confirm his belief that his partner will find him disgusting. It's the right moment for them to express their desire.

If for some reason he gets too triggered and leave, they wouldn't be back to square one but again, patience is key. He needs time. Or maybe they could convince him to stay and try to resolve the situation by stopping the intimacy and just talk about something else. It could be good practice to show him this isn't a big deal and that everything is fine.

But at this stage, complimenting him sincerely (no coddling) whilst not hiding their arousal could work nicely. Sprinkling some of the fantasies they had about him as well. ('I've been dreaming about these hands on me', 'You have no idea how much I've been wanting to kiss these lips to make you shut up', 'I laid awake at night thinking about touching this part of you'). Showing appreciation with touch could convince him more though and it has the advantage of preventing him to think too much.

But really, he won't like to focus on his appearance as it's something he has no control over so they should -unfortunately- bite their tongue and keep the flood of horny compliments to themselves at first. A new one might be fed to him once every two weeks to slowly build his confidence.

In Bed

Deprived!Snape is: prideful, yearning for control and very sensitive.

Now honestly I could make a whole other post with the different scenarios where he'd be more top or bottom. Instead, I will focus more on what would happen either way.

He'll want to learn. Because Severus is nothing if not a scholar. He's got a very curious nature regarding topics that interest him so if his partner is showing him how they like something, he'll get super serious about it. He will try to touch them in the exact same way at first and he's a fast learner so once it's mastered, he'll experiment. And he's going to be good at it.

That man got dexterity and an inventive mind. And that's canon.

But his focus on his partner might also be a way to keep control during this highly new situation. Depending on how self-conscious he is about his inexperience, shifting the focus on him might be a challenge. Maybe letting him take the lead could be a good idea. But maybe shoving him against the mattress and seizing control is the way to go here.

Now, he will be very sensitive, won't he?

Yes, he might. He might be a whimpering mess in no time. His partner should be cautious and gentle with him. Severus letting his guard down and letting them touch him is a very big effort coming from him so they should savor it and be sure to make it feel safe if they want this to happen again. Help him relax, let him breathe, don't hesitate to pause if he gets nervous. The walls will be destroyed, moan after moan.

But what if he isn't sensitive?

That's a possibility as well. He's been by himself for years and his wariness of intimacy and people is wired in his cells at this point. He's disconnected from his own body and never pays attention to it. He might also tense heavily once in bed with his partner, the vulnerability of it accentuating the disconnection. He might not feel pleasure, might get frustrated and feel angry or inadequate.

This situation - which I find very interesting and seems like a realistic follow-up to him wanting to kiss for a long time and struggling with undressing - is tricky and will require diplomacy and more patience.

But maybe this could be a dealbreaker for him. If the payoff isn't worth the discomfort, he could easily take it as a confirmation bias that intimacy isn't for the likes of him. The best course of action could be to focus on non-sexual aspect of intimacy.

But this essay is way too long already so I'm going to stop here.

What should I write about next? Is there something you wish I had addressed here? Is there something you'd like me to discuss next?

TLDR: He's gonna be a pain, his partner needs to have calming draught for their nerves but in the end it will be very rewarding because he's starved and inventive.

[inthelibrarybtw]

you want me to pretend? | ten

SERIES MASTERLIST

pairing: college!basketball!captain!rafe x college!student!reader content: fluff, college au, smau/irl, jealousy, jordan, rafe crash out, cursing

summary: You were trying to make one problem disappear. You were tired, so you lied. That small lie led you to contact the last person you wanted to ask for help. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Rafe; only that you didn’t want to deal with his constant teasing more than you already did. Also, you two weren't that close, but this one lie was going to bring you two closer and maybe help some truths come to light.

word count: 1.1k

authors note: ten? when did this happen? I'm really thankful for all the love that you guys have given to my blind children. Enjoy another flashback 😚 I intended to post yesterday but I got a fever and went to sleep it off.

09 | 10 | 11

Sophomore Year - October 2022

Sophomore Year - November 2022

Thanksgiving had been the perfect opportunity to finally get together with Angie and fully discuss the topic of Jordan. Ever since the day you two had met, you had been consistently talking to each other. While he had initially caught your attention, now it was a whole different story. You talked all day, every day—well, almost every day. 

“So you really like him right now?” Angie asked as she sat down on your bed. 

“I feel like we’re becoming really close; we talk almost all the time,” you said with a small smile. 

“Almost is not always.” 

“Yeah, on weekends he just disappears, but he’s with his family and doing a lot of schoolwork, so that’s why.” 

“Wait, so he just doesn’t answer on weekends?” 

“We talk, but it's very little on weekends. He reappears on Sunday afternoon, and we talk again. It’s a lot of voice notes, and I like that.” 

“Oh, he’s a voice note guy… Huh, he didn’t give me those vibes.” 

“Yeah, I like that because I feel it’s more real. You hear the actual tone in which he is speaking, and it’s just really nice to hear him.” 

“Maybe at first I wasn’t really sure about him, but I guess he’s not that bad.” 

“He is really sweet; we can talk about a lot of stuff,” you smile again. 

“You think it’s going to get deeper? Like are you and him, and me and Ethan, going to be having double dates soon?” she teases, and you chuckle. 

“Oh, we are already talking about that?”

“Yeah, why not? Ethan and I have been talking for two months, and I think he is going to be my boyfriend,” Angie says, smiling.  

“I’m so happy for you; he better treat you right.”  

“Same goes for Jordan; he better treat you right. But from the audio you have sent me, he does sound nice, and he was very unexpected, so…” She wiggles her eyebrows.  

“Yes, it could be something good. I don’t want to get too ahead of myself. We have been talking for just a month, so I don’t know where this is really going.”  

“So, Rafe…?” You shake your head softly, “like at all?”  

“I…” you stutter for a second.  

“Ha!” She pointed at you, “I knew it.”  

“I don’t like Rafe; I never liked him.”  

“Then why the hell is this on your bed?” She grabbed the jellycat he had given you for your birthday.  

“It was a gift; what was I supposed to do? Throw it away? It’s cute; I like it.”  

“So, no emotional attachment to that or the person who gave it to you?” You shook your head, not realizing your face was saying quite the opposite.  

“Right, so really, really nothing for Rafe?”  

“Yeah,” your voice faltered, “nothing at all.” You smiled, but Angie knew better than to believe you.  

“Zero? Nada? Nothing? Not even physically?”  

“Finding someone attractive doesn’t mean you like them; I told you.”  

“Ah, right, yeah.”  

“Angie, stop it; I don’t like Rafe.” She lifted her hands in defeat.  

“Fine, fine, you don’t like him.” 

Sophomore Year - December 2022

Rafe sat down on the living room couch. The house was anything but quiet, but at least the living room was now clean and free of a screaming Emily. His sister had gotten far too excited about her Christmas presents, and with every single one, she had screamed. He understood it, but he was also not in the mood. They all had helped her get her new toys into her playroom. Wheezie stayed with Emily, so that was why he had gone back to the living room. His loneliness didn’t last long.

“What’s that face for?” Sarah asked, sitting next to him.

“What do you mean?” he replied.

“You look all annoyed. I have a wild guess as to why, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself.”

“The thing is, I feel like I shouldn’t feel this way. It's not like she’s my ex, you know.”

“Yeah, but you like her.”

“Yes, that much was obvious; thanks for stating it again.”

“I’m just saying it's normal to feel this way. She likes someone else, and you still like her.”

“Are you sure she likes him?”

“I haven’t talked about it much, but she has mentioned it sometimes; not a lot, though.” He sighed.

“Well, according to Kelce, he has gone MIA for weeks, then goes back to talk to her like nothing happened, and he claims it’s just because he’s busy, but no one can be that busy.”

“I feel like your jealousy is making everything way worse than it actually is.”

“Yeah, well.”

“It’s okay, though; I understand it, but I do have to say that you need to eventually move on.”

“I know. I decided that a few days ago, but Kelce told me he thought she liked me, and that threw me off. I just started thinking about that.”

“And you didn’t talk to him about this?”

“Why would I?”

“Right, you don’t talk about feelings with the boys,” Sarah said, rolling her eyes.

“I have you for that; I don’t need them,” he nudged her with his elbow.

“Aw, look, you are nice,” she chuckled.  

“Shut up,” he chuckled back.  

“Back to the Y/N thing… I know this is not what you want to hear, but try to meet someone just for the fun of it.”  

“If you think I’m gonna get over her by dating someone else, you’re wrong. Before I say this, I know how cheesy and stupid it sounds, but that's just how things are.”  

“I’m gonna let you finish.”  

“I promise, the second I saw her, it was like the rest of the girls were nothing. I have tried, BELIEVE ME, I have tried talking to other girls and flirting with them, but they are all so… uninteresting, or maybe it is just because I really, really like her. I don’t even know why I like her so much,” he exhales and groans, “I’m so messed up.”  

“Wow,” Sarah said, looking at him. “Yeah… you are messed up, but hopefully you will eventually get over her, right?”  

“I hope you are right because this is embarrassing. Not even Topper got this down bad for you, and that man did some questionable things when he was trying to date you,” Sarah chuckled.  

“Yeah, well, it worked, so…”  

“For him. I’m not gonna embarrass myself, even if I wanted to. This problem is so easy to fix.”  

“Okay, now you lost me.”  

“Jordan. He is my problem. I could literally just kiss her, and voilà, problem solved.”  

“Oh geez…” Sarah sighed. “First things first, you would create more problems by doing that.”  

“Yeah, but he would go bye-bye.”  

“You spend too much time with Emily.”  

“She’s the coolest 4-year-old I know.”  

“Yeah, because she’s your sister.”  

As they started talking about Emily, Jordan and you got forgotten in the conversation, but not from Rafe’s mind. Much to his dislike, he was going to keep being annoyed and jealous about that for a few more months until he eventually called it a day.

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REBLOGS, COMMENTS AND LIKES ARE ALWAYS WELCOMED

INTHELIBRARYBTW ✧.

[urhoneycombwitch]

okay I've been swirling a couple more thoughts around my head about neighbor Eddie and specifically how you said he's down for what makes his partner happy and also how we've discussed making up handyman excuses to get him in the door

now I'm picturing a PLETHORA of roleplay fantasies he could fit into

okay 1) you said ranch hand? boom... get the hat and those blue jeans that he still has but never wears and are a tad too small and hug just right (it's not like they're gonna be on for long). forget that y'all are in the middle of the city, the blinds are closed to imagine outside is just green fields and trees for miles. really leaning into that southern drawl. he's gonna throw reader around like those bales of hay he's been slinging yessir (if you're into a bit of spanking with implements, this could be an opportunity to get a riding crop? Do you see the vision??)

now stick with me there's more

2) any form of mechanic, handyman, plumber, installer, you name it. As long as he's got those like full bottom denim overalls but he keeps the front open/tied around his waist just to show off that tank top underneath. Got plenty of tools on his belt, and a big one under it too if you know what I mean ;D love a man that's good with his hands. oh no, sorry mister, I don't have any money to pay for the fee...

3) FIREFIGHTER?! but just the pants and suspenders because then his chest and belly and arms are all oiled up and glistening. (potentially an opportunity for him to practice tying knots? you know, for safety...) can't really say much about this fantasy other than Damn! Is it hot in here? Nah, it's just him

4) and then obviously putting him in something lacy and skimpy. pretty collar (if that's what they're into) and some sexy lace garters around his thick meaty thighs that connect to some thin panties that barely contain his package and you're definitely taking them off with your teeth

(and speaking of packages, let's put delivery guy down on the list too. put his dick in a box I don't care)

but of course, as much fun as it to make him put on a show and be fantasy-fulfiller slutboy, there's gotta be some reciprocation too

which is where I ask you, government name Lulu Urhoneycombwitch, what are neighbor!Eddie's roleplay fantasies? What do he have R dress up as/do?

ngl this one’s been sitting in my inbox for awhile just so I could read it more easily. hm. yeah, anon, ya melted me with this one!!!!! 

cowboy in the bedroom absoLUTEly. i see the vision. neighbor!Eddie in my canon is a bit more reserved (‘least that’s how i’ve been writing him recently as I build out more of his character) but needs someone like neighbor!Reader to bring out his more outgoing and playful qualities. such as: rope tying skills he learned in the barn coming in very handy.

speaking of handy!!! lol. yes. handyman w a slutty thick waist shown off by half-tied overalls. this is most likely one of the first times ya’ll role played and i fear it was unintentional… Eddie was over doing some work on your sink and was dressed Like That so hardly your fault. it def becomes a thing after that. especially when you need him to fix something for real and he’s like ;) ;) this is code right and ur like ;) my shower hasn’t worked in 3 days ;) but i’ll repay you in sex  ;) ;) ;) 

firefighter and femme vibes are both equally alluring to me. y not both. u feel. like a big set of suspenders and pants and a jacket but after stripping him down he’s got a bare chest, fishnets, and a lacy pair of undies. i pledge allegiance…..

gov’t name u kill me lmao. okay if we’re talking Eddie’s personal preferences… well first off he definitely makes themed playlists for each setting and vibe if it’s planned roleplay. if we’re talking older!Eddie (which I often fantasize husky!neighbor!Eddie as 40s…) it’s personalized mixtapes + records.

Eddie loves literally anything that accentuates your curves. drooools over tight-fitting clothes whenever you wear anything that highlights your stomach or thighs or ass etc etc. so by that nature, I feel like one of his fantasies is completed just by getting to see you in lingerie. 

neighbor!Eddie’s ex-catholic for sure he’s just got that vibe to him idk… it’s always the ex-religious ones w a lot of kink lmao. I think he’d be really into seeing you in an angel getup around halloween time. getting fucknasty with a beautiful angel in gossamer and white satin would be a sinner’s dream come true.

he’s a total nerd for fantasy + lore in this life, too, really anything Lord of the Rings related would get him going. a fair maid a hobbit an elf forgettttaboutit. you in ren faire getup brings him to his knees. 

also Eddie would love a stranger-at-the-bar roleplay evening. spending the day apart in anticipation, setting a place and general time to ‘meet’, getting to hit on you at the bar as if he doesn’t know you, the thrill of you saying yes all over again!!!! that’d get him so good. that and the heavy petting that happens in the bathroom stall later that eve 😛

[havocskies]

hhihi i love the ur headcanons sm and i was wondering if u could also write girlfriend reader x brian headcanons 💗

tags : romantic , he’s still pretty evil sorry , brian is mostly rudy here , so i guess you’re probably fine

honestly brian would have to REALLY like someone to truly date them i feel like

like, his main concern is getting to dexter

BUT he did seem to like monique a bit, so it’s at least not impossible

even though he did still kill her….

i feel like brian, if he TRULY loved someone, would be very protective

of course, he knows how to not make it seem overbearing

he’s very good at playing ‘rudy,’ and he’ll never let it slip around you

you’re the last person he wants to find out about his little taboo hobby

sometimes he fantasizes about showing you the freezer room, about taking you on kills and having you help out with the prep

but he knows realistically that’s just wishful thinking

it’d be too big of a risk, one he doesn’t really want to take

so, he’ll continue to play the loving and innocent boyfriend who’s only motive in life is to help the needy

brian would absolutely be very touchy, both in a possessive way and in a casual, subconscious way

he loves to let people know you’re his, but at the same time he also just loves the reassurance that you’re there, with him

even if he doesn’t show it he does inwardly get insecure, worried that you’d somehow find out about his tendencies and leave him

once he has something he likes in his grasp he isn’t very keen on letting it go

brian would heavily enjoy painting your nails, wanting to keep them colored the way he loves close to constantly

the moment they begin to chip he’s commenting on it, already wanting to fix it

brian also clearly seems to enjoy putting his attractions on display

he has a large drawing of a naked woman on his living room wall, and limb sculptures all around his apartment

with that being said, brian absolutely would enjoy taking pictures of you (both compromising and not 😇)

like, he’s clearly a freak

i don’t, however, think he’d be too possessive in public

of course, he loves physical contact and being near you

however, making it known you two are dating isn’t exactly being possessive

i don’t believe brian would get jealous very easily

he wouldn’t dictate what you wear, instead finding it more enjoyable to show you off in a way

i do think, however, that if you wanted him to give suggestions towards your outfits he would absolutely love it.

while not very possessive, he does love having control

brian would strongly enjoy picking out minor things, such as your jewelry or a specific shirt

if you wanted him to pick out an entire outfit, however, he wouldn’t complain

since brian would be playing as rudy around you i don’t think he’d have too many red flags

of course, he’s still the ice truck killer, but he’d be more careful around you

if you weren’t a killer, that is

if you were that’s an entirely different story

regardless, if you’re a moral and true citizen of society, brian is careful around you

he doesn’t drop many hints, and the ones he does are only small comments you couldn’t possibly catch on to

(both brian and dexter do this in the show and i think it’s so funny it kills me)

brian in general is also very touchy

we see this in the show when he’s with deb

listen, if he could be that touchy and needy with a woman he hates with every fiber of his being and piece of his soul imagine how he is with someone he loves

yeah he’d never be leaving you alone

brian does (assumingely) hook up with hookers somewhat often

unless he’s just killing most of them i guess, obviously

regardless, since brian’s life is centered mostly around dexter, i don’t think he’s had many partners if any at all

i don’t even think monique really counts, as they seemed to be portrayed more as just sex partners than actual partners

they don’t really have anything romantic to say about each other so 😭

with that being said, that would mean his entire focus would be on you

also, if his apartment decor is so shameless i would not be surprised if his drive was high

considering how he was acting with deb, he would be beyond needy with an actual partner

he’d absolutely insist on keeping control in every situation

but he’d without a doubt be wanting your attention fairly often

now, i do think he’d still have cold spells where he’s distant, but i don’t think they’d truly last that long

all in all, as long as you’re dating rudy, you’re pretty safe