#at the end XD

[teecupangel]

Desmond owning a bakery on the Davenport Homestead!! Why not complete the trilogy?

Making various kinds of bread for the Mile's End to be served as sides for meals, using leftover goods make other kinds of meals and to feed Prudence's & Warren's animals, and the people of the homestead often visiting the bakery when taking breaks from their jobs.

I imagine Connor meeting Desmond for the first time on the Frontier when the latter was looking for better herbs to use in the bread he makes. Connor felt something familiar in him, prob thought "y not", and offered Desmond a chance to have a bakery at the homestead.

Even if Connor mayhaps isn't a big fan of sweets, someone else on the homestead certainly is (Godfrey's & Terry's kids have sweet teeth(?) for sure).

Here’s the 3rd Crusade Baker version with Desmond using the power of looking a lot like Altaïr but with big bright smiles to unnerve and confuse the Al-Sayf brothers and the power of sweets to stop Altaïr from asking questions.

Here’s the Renaissance Italy Baker version where Ezio and Leonardo mistake Desmond as Giovanni’s illegitimate child and Desmond mistakes Leonardo’s ‘hints’ as Leonardo starting to figure out that he’s a time traveler with bonus oblivious Maria who just think Ezio and Leonardo really likes the bread and keeps asking Ezio to buy more.

Let’s combine both of your asks!

.

Desmond actually learns to bake in England. There’s a sweet old couple who needed help with their bakery and Desmond sorta got adopted by them. That’s where he learned the basics of how to bake.

He stayed with the sweet couple until they die peacefully of old age.

They lived a long life and Desmond doesn’t regret staying with them for this long.

Then their son who never even bothered to visit them took over the bakery and kicked Desmond out because he felt threatened by Desmond.

Desmond had half the mind to stab the asshole but he refrained from doing acts of violence because (1) he made a promise to himself that this life, he was going to try and be a pacifist (emphasis on try) and (2) he knows the sweet couple would be sad if Desmond stabs the asshole… in the leg… maybe twist it a bit… no, Desmond. Bad, Desmond.

So… knowing he was going to do something he had promised not to do if he stayed in England, he made his way for the first ship leaving the port, requesting to be taken in as kitchen help or something (even gave the captain his last batch of bread to sweeten the pot).

…

Okay.

So…

Here’s the thing.

Desmond had been deliberately ignoring whatever news he hears and the year. Because he knew if he knew the year, he’d be tempted to do something because he was around the time that Ratonhnhaké:ton would be born so…

He’s trying to be selfish here, okay?

He knows it’s not really the best way to go about it and he knows that he can, in theory, change history and all that grand stuff.

But Desmond doesn’t want to do that. He already saved the world. This is his retirement.

Why is this important?

Because Desmond would like to stress that it was a bloody coincidence that he boarded the same ship Haytham boarded to go to the colonies.

And now Haytham was observing him because he knows that Desmond was not part of the original crew which means he was suspicious.

So Desmond stays away from Haytham and keep his head down and… hope for the best, essentially.

…

Desmond would like to stress that he did not give Haytham food poisoning!

He was in charge of cutting ingredients, for god’s sake! He was nowhere near the pot OR Haytham’s fucking plate.

Also… is Haytham sure it’s not just seasickness?

… probably not but Desmond is innocent!

Oh, what he would do to wring the neck of the actual Assassin who failed in assassinating Haytham. If he was going to poison the man, at least double the dosage anyway to be sure!

Again.

Desmond is a pacifist… but dear god that kitchen knife was certainly looking quite sexy at the moment.

.

Ah.

Land.

And most important.

Goodbye, Haytham!

Desmond should skedaddle and…

What’s that?

Oh.

Someone needs help? Well… Desmond wasn’t heartless. He’d help.

Oh, wait.

Oh, fuck.

It was Benjamin Franklin.

Why yes, Desmond was looking for work.

What’s that?

Oh, he can cook but he makes a mean bread.

…

Oh.

Uuuhh… it seemed Desmond just got hired by Benjamin Franklin to be part of his kitchen staff???

.

Desmond has no idea who the two Assassins were.

He has no idea why the two of them decided to visit Franklin this early in the morning.

What he does know is that Franklin turns into a whiny baby if he smells Desmond’s bread and can’t eat it so he’s serving them all fresh bread and tea just so Franklin doesn’t complain to him later on.

… was that the light of a POE?

Nope.

Desmond must be seeing things.

.

Jesus Christ.

He doesn’t know why Franklin had been kidnapped and why he has to be kidnapped as well. He can, of course, just beat the crap out of all of them but…

Well…

That would destroy his ‘pacifist life’, right?

He did tell Franklin that he quit as soon as they got kidnapped though because this man was a magnet for trouble and the pay wasn’t worth all these.

Relax.

Desmond knew Franklin would live a long life.

He just doesn’t want to be part of it.

Oh, look, it was the Assassin from before.

Huh.

He looked different.

Doesn’t matter to Desmond.

Goodbye, Franklin. Thank you for the letter of recommendation!

.

Good news! He got his own bakery!

The rent was cheap and the neighborhood was alright.

Things were looking good.

.

Bad news! The landlord apparently died and the new landlord is a dick.

The rent has gone up.

Desmond’s bakery was still doing good so he can take the hit.

He’d just have to postpone any experiments he has planned to make pastries and bread he remembered from his time but don’t exactly remember the ingredients for now.

.

Well, fuck.

His bakery has apparently gotten the attention of Washington.

Why?

He has no idea.

But if he was going to make a guess. Some of Franklin’s servants would regularly buy bread from him so that old man must have been talking to some people.

But seriously.

Why the hell was Washington even buying bread himself?

Doesn’t he have servants to do that for him?

It… does not bode well for the future of Desmond’s bakery.

.

As he had expected…

So asshole landlord was loyal to the British Crown and, since it appeared that George Washington was now a fucking regular (what is this life, seriously???), that must mean Desmond was one of them.

Oh, for fuck’s sake!

And now he’s getting evicted without even getting his goddamn stuff?

Oh, to hell with that.

“What are you doing?”

Desmond turned to stare at Ratonhnhaké:ton who was suddenly standing just behind him, watching him dangle with one leg on the other side of the window of his no-longer-his bakery.

“Uuuhh… I’m not robbing the place?”

Ratonhnhaké:ton just stared at him.

“My asshole landlord kicked me out without letting me pack my things and chained the doors so I can’t get in.”

“I see… Would you like me to retrieve the key then?”

Tempting.

Desmond was pretty sure if he just adds a bit of waterworks, he can ask Ratonhnhaké:ton to beat the crap out of that asshole for him.

Again, Desmond was trying to be a pacifist this time around.

So violence doesn’t count if he’s not the one throwing hands.

“Nah. He’d just come back and get some goons to kick me out again…”

Desmond paused for a moment before he asked…

“If you have the time… mind helping me pack my entire life into small sad boxes?”

“I will find a big box we can use.”

“Thank you-” Desmond stopped himself before he could say Ratonhnhaké:ton’s name. He smiled as he asked, “What’s your name? If you’re helping me do some B&E, we should atleast know each other’s name. My name’s Desmond.”

“Connor.” Ratonhnhaké:ton replied.

“Okay, Connor.” Desmond said, although it felt a bit awkward not calling him by his real name, “Thanks.”

.

Desmond’s entire life fitted a small wagon that can easily be carried by a donkey.

Was that sad?

Or was this a sign that he was a minimalist?

To be fair, most of his belongings were stuff he used for baking.

Desmond sighed, “Guess I have to look for a new place to set up shop now.”

Maybe he’d cash in on Washington’s weird favoritism and rent a place with a landlord who hates the monarchy.

“I might know a place.” Ratonhnhaké:ton said as he stared at Desmond, “If you have no other place to go… perhaps…”

Was he…

Oh, he was asking Desmond to go to the homestead.

Well…

To be fair…

The homestead would definitely be peaceful.

Profit would probably not be as good as how it was here in the city though.

Then again…

It was never about the profit anyway.

Desmond turned to grin at Ratonhnhaké:ton as he said, “I’d love to.”

.

Peace.

This was what Desmond wanted.

Waking up early, making freshly baked bread for the people of the homestead.

Spending a few minutes with each one just to talk about how yesterday went.

Checking the surrounding areas for things he could use as ingredients for his experiments.

Making sure his garden was thriving and waiting for the fruits and vegetables that he’d use on his experiments.

Giving sweetbreads and puddings to his little visitors who always bring him berries and other ingredients they find or their parents give them in exchange for the snack.

Ah.

This was the life.

(I tried to make this sound like Desmond’s ranting without turning it to 1st POV. I hope it was okay XD)

[rapidhighway]

the thing that caused me so much grief last night but now i feel better about it fdnghgdfggd

[lolli-popples]

Objectively funniest possible Life Series alliance would be BigB and Martyn.

They would be like "I guess we're allies now" and then they'd walk in opposite directions, build separate bases, and would be in the same room a total of 5 times, all of which being them doing an intro together.

They would also set the Life Series alliance record for "Most problems caused without facing any consequences."

Most solid team ever, you can't betray each other if you're never in the same room.

[anxiousapplepie]

After 4 painful Acts and at least a dozen traumatizing experiences that will haunt them forever, Traveler!Bonnie gives the friendship quests a try! And discovers new and terrifying interesting information about the Researcher.

[hvbris]

@multipleoccupancy . Theo's family gets bigger

The Baudelaires had been in New York for a few days now, living in the house of their new guardian: Theodore Beneventi. New York reminded Violet of the town where she grew up, only bigger. Much, much bigger.

Mr. Beneventi, who had told them they could call him Theo, seemed like their most normal guardian so far. For starters, he was not afraid of turning on the stove, which was very nice, because it meant the Baudelaires could enjoy a warm meal for the first time in a few weeks. There were no snakes in the house either, which, to be fair, was to be expected. And of course, here, they were not ordered to do horribly long and difficult chores.

The other thing that differed from their last guardians, was that Theo already had a family. He had a wife, Andrea, two sons, and a baby daughter, who was already getting along great with Sunny.

Violet felt like their luck might have finally turned. Even the terrifying shadow of Count Olaf didn't seem as scary, considering that Theo was an FBI agent. She did not usually consider herself lucky, not since the terrible fire that had killed her parents, at least. But for the first time in months, she was feeling much more hopeful than usual.

And, it's with that noteworthy hopefulness that she left the room she shared with her siblings, and tip-toed to the kitchen. It was still early in the morning, but she was awake and craving a glass of milk.

"Good morning," she said politely when she saw that the kitchen area wasn't empty. Theo was already there. He was very nice, and she already felt comfortable around him, so she poured herself a glass of milk. "The view is very beautiful from here," she commented, not only to make conversation but also because it was true.

[kenchann]

hear me out 🍰

[rann-poisoncage]

[marsipain]

The mysterious fish man beckons you, do you engage?

[rainbowstickersandunicorn]

that look when she realized she's being called evil

[raycatzdraws]

LU WIND BUT HE'S A ITTY BITTY HUMMINGBIRD

Slingshot Proficiency!

+bonus doodle drafts

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

if time was a religion i would be its most devoted follower 🕰️ 🙏🧎

;3 extras +

full design sorta + original sketches with CW's hadonkabadonks that i sadly had to cover with his clockface 😔

also here is the inspiration - Doha the priest from 'I thought my time was up' on webtoon 😳😰😰

[selemina]

King Foolish and his two warring Jesters!

[off-mozzarella]

(From the body swap AU)

Hii! I'm very happy to see that my body swap comic was so well received, so here's a little something as a thanks for all the support <3

I'm excited to keep sharing my drawings, I hope you like what I make!

[mewtwoandme]

I managed to get something done lol

Happy Father's Day to all the cool dads out there!!

[zu-is-here]

erased from history

In this story, Ancient Egypt is not at its best: a prolonged drought has led to crop failure and famine, weak power has led to robberies and looting. The people blame yet fear the sick pharaoh who finds a solace in the pardoned soldier... 𓁈𓀎

[dragondawdles]

did a piece in the LU server's gift exchange ! something of survival and reunions and smug little shadowguys