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horizon-verizon · 1 year ago

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I had a legitimate question/complaint that I wanted to send you and I'm still going to do so but while I was thinking about it something else occurred to me and I wanted to share it but I wanted to tell you something first.

The change in Rhaenyra and Laenor’s relationship is the ONLY change I am willing to wholeheartedly accept because it was a wonderful change.

The canon versions aren’t much related to speak of. Rhaenyra has her reasons for not wanting to marry Laenor and at one point she makes a homophobic comment and Laenor did the bare minimum by showing up to a couple of events and visiting so he could say “oh yeah, that baby is definitely mine🤭 Can we call him Joffrey?☺️” (which still means he recognized them as his own and they were legally Velaryon)

But in the show Rhaenyra and Laenor quickly create a mutually beneficial partnership, Rhaenyra cares for Laenor very clearly during 1x05 trying to reach him and I interpret her expression while they are getting married as her acknowledging Laenor’s pain, Laenor is obviously much more present in the children’s lives and at court, we can see a little how complicated that dynamic must have been with Laenor having the freedoms of a man and Rhaenyra being technically superior to him (and none of them seem resentful of each other!), Laenor also worries about Rhaenyra and blames himself for some of their problems (it’s not them, it’s Alicent) and failing Rhaenyra and the children. Rhaenyra in turn takes the time to assure him that she doesn't blame him, that she doesn't see him as defective or wrong.

A I have no idea where the shot came from that Laenor was uncomfortable holding Joff (I thought he was uncomfortable because of Alicent, you know, the woman who made his wife walk after giving birth and that insults him at least twice) but I don't think he is any more uncomfortable with children than most parents of that time, I would even go so far as to say that their relationship is close. We see Laenor carrying Joffrey both on the way back and when Rhaenyra leaves the court, in the second case they could have given him to a nanny but no, Laenor was the one carrying their son. Another moment I really like is the low-key shot of Laenor and Luke holding hands during Laena's funeral or the whole thing with Laenor, Rhaenyra and Harwin with the kids. There is no discomfort, children are not distant or uncomfortable when dealing with him.

In all the ways that matter Laenor claimed the children as his own, he had a pretty good relationship with Rhaenyra despite it not being sexual in nature and the problems that brought about for reasons and it is shown that he loved them.

The real queer friendship in the show was Laenor and Rhaenyra not Alicent and Rhaenyra. And that's my controversial opinion today.

I talk about Rhaenicent HERE, how it didn't and still doesn't make sense to me due to the writing not bringing enough reason as to why it exists. I also must remind people that I am not queer (I don't think bc IDK these days) or of the LGBTQAI+ community. So if I am missing something that could explain some stuff about queerness in fiction or real-life sexually-incompatible relationships, let me know, please!

I am torn about this relationship--book AND show-wise but what I am sure of is that this relationship wasn't as "mutually" beneficial as some might think. Most of it was neither of their faults, but Rhaenyra's situation vs Laenor's is enough reason for her to be resentful not just of her father but him as well. Their relationship was consequently emotionally distant from Laenor even while living in the same spaces as him for a decade. So instead of being a "sweet" thing, it was more a "bittersweet" thing.

Book!

Context for the comment Rhaenyra made against marrying Laenor ("A Question of Succession"):

"My half brothers would be more to his taste".

And Laenor naming their last child ("A Question of Succession"):

"Laenor was at last permitted to name a child after his fallen friend"

And these are when and where the V boys were born (114, 115, 117).

There are layers to each part of these quotes: Laenor is "permitted" to name his own child. More likely barred by Corlys than Rhaenyra because the first two have Velaryon-sounding names and Laenor thus has been made to push aside his first (known) great love/disconnect from his own gayness/"repress" for the sake of patriarchal-heterosexual tradition WHILE Rhaenyra's comment about Laenor reveals a parallel to the preference shown towards boys and men in her society. He would "prefer" someone else, a male, over her. Her concern is not primarily "owning" him sexually but it mirrors/parallels/reminds her that her father/patriarchy diminishing a woman's importance or decentering her for the man's centering and sociopolitical elevation. The "man" here is Viserys and Corlys.

But in the inverse, Laenor named their kid after his past lover when Rhaenyra couldn't give a Targaryen name or any name of her choosing to their last two boys.

Of course, that is a little self-centered of Rhaenyra but the bubble of resentment comes from a valid place and is not completely unfounded and she sorta has to be bit more self-centered...more tragic for them both.

And Laenor naming their last child after his dead lover when he's supposed to keep his relationships a secret for the better of their kids if not for himself is also sort of self-centeredness. Again, when Rhaenyra seemingly couldn't name her own first 2 children.

In a way, Young!Book!Rhaenyra takes Laenor's sex acts (bc Westerosi do not have the conceptions of sexuality being an identity element so much as an act of pseudo-taboo sex acts) as his being another person/obligation/worry who is forced on her, not going to add to her life and not caring for her or prioritizing or supporting her to a certain degree that she needs--another "burden" aside from the one political benefit of tying the Velaryons to her...which is necessary in the first place bc she is female and Viserys pissed Corlys off.

It's like it touches on that wound girls/women carry. In-text/world, I felt it moves through Rhaenyra-the-person/character as unconscious resentment towards another instance where she cannot access what she desires and becomes stuck with a person who cannot even desire her at the very least, as she finds Harwin can later. The show actually does well enough to bring out what was likely true from the original story here when she's talking to Daemon in episode 7 about Harwin: "It felt good to be desired". To have someone be there for her.

(bc despite that injury he had that might have taken months to heal, I still think it's too strange and non-coincidental to ignore how Rhaenyra's first three kids all do not look at least like herself in coloring, not in eyes or hair...Alysanne was one Targ with Andal blonde hair and blue eyes while Alyssa had one purple eye for goodness sake! and the Targs after Daeron II's generation had traits from either one or both parents, Targ or not Targ...this is a fiction piece and while it models real life, it is less random as real life, and "85-90%" of stuff is done for a reason)

And with Laenor, as I mentioned, he must have felt pulled apart from himself--resentful of his forced marriage and further repression from such marriage to Rhaenyra, thus his staying away.

I don't think that they didn't come to respect each other or even not care about each other in the book NOR that they were horrible people for how they felt feelings and their circumstances, how they moved around each other, and probably interacted. Especially after Laenor began spending more time with Rhaenyra after their sons' confrontation with Aemond at Dragonstone.

But it never came across to me as particularly close or Laenor taking up the responsibility to those he apparently did see as a family until said family was hurt. And I have not seen anything to suggest Rhaenyra was concerningly hurtful or homophobic towards Laenor after they marry in canon. So, do we really know if she actually hated him in the original story, or thought his queerness made him less than or worthy of hate, esp with what I said about it more about expressing her frustration?

Show!

You:

It seems like Rhaenyra still got the shorter end of the stick to breed a stronger sort of resentment. I think that their relationship was actually more or less the same as it was in the book, and the space they shared only affected Laenor's time spent with the kids and not time spent helping Rhaenyra elsewhere. I could argue it should have been even a little worse bc they live in the same space and Laenor is doing the same things as his book counterpart.

That unequal position, in my view, actually kept them emotionally apart enough for Laenor to not really understand Rhaenyra as a person while Rhaenyra seems to understand Laenor pretty well. To look at this doylistically, honestly, this could be a fault of the writers and the time jumps, but let's dive in.

FIRST - We have not actually seen, at any point, Laenor approach Rhaenyra to ask what's up/check-in. Any time he's there, he's there for either the most dramatic things (birth of a son and climbing the stairs), complaining, or inadvertently make her seem an anomaly (comments about breasts). At the end, again like in the book, he offers to be closer to her and focus on her and the boys...and that is the only time we see some sort of action of the sort of support Rhaenyra sees she will get from Daemon, thus her decision to have Laenor "killed".

After Joffrey Lonmouth's death, Laenor found Qarl Correy and Rhaenyra had allowed the man to be close to Laenor despite the rumors. Laenor doesn't mind and even seems to like Harwin. But unlike Rhaenyra, Laenor does not need nor want a good image as much as she does. Rhaenyra needs Laenor more than the reverse.

SECOND - In the 5th episode after Joffery's death, yes, she is acknowledging his pain but you'd have to be self-involved to a particular degree or just plain unobservant to not sympathize and acknowledge that pain...plus she knew they were together as Laenor told her and they made that a private arrangement on the beach presumably just a few days before. Finally, in that episode, she has not actually lived with him yet.

THIRD - Due to the time jump, we do not know how Laenor got to be a permanent resident in the Keep of King's Landing when he should have been at Driftmark as he is in the book before Laena's death/Vhagar's "claim". Does either Viserys or Corlys order him to stay with Rhaenyra? Did Rhaenyra order him to stay by her side with her? Did Laenor choose freely or under a nonverbal pressure from those around him and what exactly did that look like? Did he have a confrontation with his father concerning his sexuality and the image its open-secretness presents to the family and he just needed to get away from Corlys--did he and Rhaenyra bond over that? Even so, how does the court treat both Rhaenyra & Laenor, both of whom are in court with their respective lovers: Laenor being cuckolded (doesn't matter that he's gay, he's a man and "gayness" is not an identity to these Westerosi) and Rhaenyra, as the future ruler, cannot be made to be seen as weak through her husband's/partner's open "infidelities".

More Notes

Many have noted how unaware Laenor is in the show. Both are resigned, but Rhaenyra is less..."blind", I'd say, because she has to be "on" and aware of others all the time. This alone shows that they cannot be as close as some people claim, because they are not on a similar page of observation of each other or their situation.

This is Rhaenyra & Laenor says about his desire to go to war:

War is afoot again in the Stepstones, Rhaenyra. The Triarchy takes new life from its alliance with Dorne. They're waylaying ships and cargo. Qarl's been fighting there. He showed me a... ( laughing ) He showed me a sack of sapphires big as walnuts he took from the pirate he slew. Ah... After all this time, this is just what I need, a little adventure. A good, honest battle to enliven my blood again. He says there is a Tyroshi general there, a giant, they say, who dyes his beard purple and wears women's frocks. ( laughs ) A few months, maybe...

AND

I am a knight... and a warrior. And I have played my part here, faithfully... for ten years. I am owed some...

AND

Rhaenyra: You are owed nothing! For ten years, you have indulged yourself at court, bought the finest horses, drunk the rarest of wines, fսckеd the lustiest boys. This was our agreement. I have not begrudged you. But... you do not desert your post when the storm lashes. Laenor: The wise sailor flees the storm as it gathers.

Aside from me not liking how Rhaenyra's decision to go to Dragonstone is compared to what Laenor meant by leaving (bc she is doing it for the sake of family and people's lives versus him trying to abandon said family...this is not some modern tale where the newly out and thriving queer person incidentally has kids who can survive their absence or at least not have it threatened after all):

Laenor had been trying to get out of being in KL with Rhaenyra for, as he calls it, "adventure" as if he weren't already in some sort of agreement with Rhaenyra to protect those he himself decided to treat them as his own sons. If it weren't for the fact he sees those kids as his own AND that agreement before they were even born, I wouldn't 100% begrudge him. Add to the fact that, because he's a man, if he weren't so lower-ranked or actually cared for his non-trad family he could have just gone and no one would disparage him in the slightest. Her having to remind him of his promise and stop him from making comments about her body to--who is to her--a stranger while she's trying to stop herself from leaking and coming back from a council where her stepmother/former friend has tried to humiliate and undermine her the whole time -> her reminding him it was not her who put him in their position so as not for him to make it seem as if she were the one imprisoning him in the first place when he said he had the right to is itself a stack of emotional labor. It truly read to me that Laenor was trying to escape the life he has with Rhaenyra as much as he did in the book. It wasn't actually much of a real change.

At the same time, we must remember that show!Rhaenyra is a very different person from book!Rhaenyra. This is a woman who would not go to war for the throne her father gave her because her father was a man who tried to be as nonconfrontational as possible AND for a prophecy that she should have reasoned her father never would have told Aegon, of all people, about and how he took the time to drag himself out of bed for her & her kids' rights/protection in episode 8. The show unconsciously makes a more quietly repressed woman of Rhaenyra in an attempt to make her more "likable", to her own, more-avoidable detriment.

One reason why show!-her may not feel like ordering Laenor more--other than realizing his being forced like her--is the inevitability of his freedoms despite his queerness. Why make a "fuss" when it will not actually go anywhere and it will actually hurt Laenor? Another reason is by how she looks at Laenor, she feels guilt at being the person Criston was actually angry with--thus indirectly leading to Laenor losing his lover so traumatically, thus maybe trying to take it upon herself to make sure Laenor has little reason to either resent or begin to actually hate her more (bc he is both one of the only people there in her camp to keep her some sort of company aside from Harwin in some way) and/or she feels like she must take the responsibility of making him happy. Both of these can give another "responsibility" along with being a mom, the court images, Alicent, her father's social self-blindness, etc even though Joffrey's death is not her fault as much as it was Criston's. All/more eyes are on her and her behavior and she is the one having to birth a kid one minute and walk up a flight of stairs the next. And she was absolutely going to do it alone because Laenor was not there until he decided to be. She is the one who will receive the least grace or attention and thereby the most blame. This is definitely not Laenor's fault...but his using that ability to be away, it certainly adds to the burden, potentially becoming a polyp of the main problem. This is, why again, they both decide that Laenor should "die", to repeat myself.

These things are inevitably going to breed resentment from Rhaenyra and travel against Laenor, esp when he's deciding to make it that much harder without acknowledging that he is or thinking how it could be. And if she were more resentful, or really even a bit more expressive towards him than she was in the show, I do not think that is a moral flaw on her part, doesn't make her the bad guy. Not expressing your anger more often doesn't make the relationship closer/better...in fact, it shows how disconnected they are emotionally. Not only is it possible she cannot feel as if she has all the right to "too much" of Laenor after Joffrey's death and how it went down, but she nevertheless "needs to" demand "more" from him because he's still not doing much, he agreed, their kids' lives and reputations are in danger, and by the near end of epi 6 he's even trying to get out of that much. No man could really understand or appreciate all of this, but again, that distance and trying to get out of things really clinched it for me.

Just because she doesn't hate him or lash out at him, doesn't mean the resentment against him isn't there and that it isn't strong. It shows itself in her sarcasm at his asking her if it hurt; her looks at his drunken talk about her leaking and swollen breasts to Qarl Correy (how fond would one be of a person after that tactlessness because it also shows how little Laenor really minds how his words will come across to her at specific moments?); her having to make it clear to him he must stay by her side and explain to him why she must (the mental load we modern talks about is paralleled here), etc.

And just because show!her was more accomodating, doesn't make her an actually better human than her book counterpart. Same with Laenor--just because he seems like he was around more often--especially since they here share the same space--doesn't mean he is there with her because he absolutely wants to be and is performing the duty he said he would. This is what Rhaenyra was talking about after she dismissed Correy so she could demand Laenor stay.

If anything, Laenor's proximity to Rhaenyra and still not being as there as he should makes it easier for him to be closer to his sons and have a relationship of sorts with their elder selves (because in the show those kids are also older--by appearance--than their selves in the book by this time, and thus they have had more time with Laenor as their dad). It didn't bring the married couple closer so much as give Rhaenyra visible, everyday proof her husband was not her partner.

Thereby, again, it wasn't actually all that "mutual"--he didn't have to put as much energy as her and he didn't and he didn't really think of how he could...but like you said, he did more than most fathers in that the little initiative he does give is more than what most fathers in his position would give Laenor does take a bit of initiative than most men would give in his position even if they wanted to be her Prince Consort for the influence, title, and power alone. He tries.....but then that still makes me question if he actually is there by circumstance, order, or choice and how he feels about that. Still, it's not good for him, so does he, if ever, blame or lash out at Rhaneyra and how does he express that.

The show tells us "unlikely", but that doesn't seem psychologically or emotionally realistic to me. On Laenor's end, he's told he cannot be that one masculine thing--be a brave adventurer/traveling knight--because his class/station has to lead him to marry a princess who depends on his voluntary discretion the balance between security and public respect when he never asked for any of it but he's told that he's a horrible person if he doesn't do this for his ambitious father.

It is because of all this that I do not see Rhaenyra as necessarily being hateful toward Laenor in either book or the show for his sexuality as much as his not being compatible with her needs after a whole life of subtle and unsubtle constraint while acknowledging that it isn't either of their fault...until in the show Laenor was headed there.

Their kindness (to a degree) for each other and Laenor's obvious willingness to at least perform when told or encouraged certainly make things easier. It's still far from what's needed, with it not quite meeting the bare minimum.

So for me, the change that I liked was their coming to a verbal agreement for them to look for other intimacies. It could have happened in canon, but we'll never know, GRRM chose to write this like a very unreliable history book written by misogynist, homophobic, etc. "men of learning". This wasn't a dumb choice, without its own storytelling merits (there's a reason we continue to use frame narratives), or even fun to read through...it's that you're trusting your readers a lot to know what's in their hands and some are just not going to get it or want to.

#laenor velaryon #rhaenyra targaryen #book vs tv comparisons #asoiaf asks to me #hotd queer #hotd writing #hotd praise #rhaenicent #asoiaf shipping #hotd ships #rhaenyra and laenor #hotd characterization #laenor's characterization #rhaenyra's characterization

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mxrainbownoodle · 2 years ago

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Tumblr I am so sorry

You have been forgotten and updated the least and for that I apologize I wouldn't be the artist I am today without you. This is a doozy but long over due and my first step in returning back to falling in love with art again

The bottom pictures are a small "series" I did it started in mid 2017 when I returned back to Savannah to pursue art

And right before I started therapy

My therapy application had a line that said "what do you want to get out of this" and when I went in I didn't know, but when I saw that question much like when I wrote in Rain into a name bar without thinking I wrote " I want to know who I am"

2017-2019 those pieces on the bottom were done.

These would be done 3-4 YEARS before top surgery or even starting T. I literally came back to school indirectly changing my name subconsciously and now was asking who am I to myself, over and over.

Up until this point I'd been living the way I thought I should, the way I thought would please the most people, what was most acceptable, but when I went into therapy and I saw that box, I realized I had not a damn clue who I was under all I thought I had to be, I needed to, I should try to be.

I didn't know Rain yet and they very much was who was trying to form at that time. I had their name, OUR name, but I didn't know what Rain should look like. Everything I liked or thought I liked was all things I learned I should like or was okay with in reason to like or if I were to be weird or gay or trans then I had to look that sort of way to, but I wasn't fitting the perfect (fake as fuck) androgynous mold either

I never envisioned an ideal of myself that wasn't influenced by what I thought would be acceptable enough of family or friends to honestly leave me alone and not ask any questions above bare minimum, because I'd learn in therapy I never felt safe to explore myself nor had the chance with all the trauma with sperm donor and more. I paused.

I paused a long LONG part of my development and finding myself that most people do in their late teens that lay the foundation.

That who am I series was for the first time in my life I was in healthier environments where people were asking me my interest, what I like, what I did for fun and I struggled to answer any of those simple questions and that's because I was with people that genuinely were asking about my core and I didn't need to super mask anymore, but I unfortunately didn't know and cause I didn't need to mask I wasn't saying practices responses or things I know I needed for approval instead it left me with a lot of questions for myself.

The picture on the top is from 2022 I did it for my graduation photo and when paired beside these "who am I series" it makes for a beautiful complete story of where I started finding me nodding to whom I even was in 2017-2019 and where we ended up by 2022

Which is: We're neither one thing or another. We don't need to look any kind of way. We don't have to ever recognize a reflection that's gonna change with age what we needed has always been inner peace a sense of control of our own body with choices that only survey to make us feel good. Cause we aren't chasing what pleases others anymore we are chasing what feels good to us and in that is where broken pre me has had the journey of becoming whole and grounded and confident in who we are as a person. We found ourself at the end of the day or years and it was never in the reflection because it's been buried so deep within

You know how you hold a prism to the light and all the colors show through? I was looking at a prism reflection without ever shedding any light inside to get to the RAINbow I've had to shine light on myself in order to come through

This has just extremely humbled me and my own existence and happy art coming full circle unknowingly and I wanted to share it with you all

#meet the artist #me #about me #sorry for being gone so long #looking forward to moving forward

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julesbakeshopp · 8 months ago

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Conversations in My Head

I would've posted this on my Medium account, but he follows me there, and I don't want to give him more ideas, so I'll just put it here.

“I was hoping you’d say stay”

I sighed. Some part of me was glad he said those words. But my other half is preparing to run. “If I asked you to stay, will you actually stay?”

I was trying my best to hold my tongue, but I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was. “Because let’s be honest, your definition of stay is very different from mine. So, I just want you to tell me right now, are you going to actually stay if I asked you to?”

He bites his lip, looking down at his shoes. I could feel tears forming at the corner of my eyes, but I held my head high. “If you’re not going to actually stay, I won’t ask you to.”

“I-“

“You don’t know if you can and you know what, that’s fine. I’m fine with knowing that, at least you’re honest right?”

“Just listen to me pl-“

“I already did and the thing is, I can’t. I can’t do what you want me to do”

“I’m not asking you to do anything. I’m just-“

“You’re asking me to put up with your shit. To accept you wholeheartedly without even considering my needs. I told you before I don’t mind waiting up for you to get home after work. I really fucking don’t, I just want you to include me in your plans.”

“I am! It’s just that-“

“What? I’m not important enough”

He takes a step back, shocked at what he just heard.

“Don’t fucking say that. If you’re not important enough, why am I begging you to come back?”

I chuckled “Begging? This is you begging me for what? To put up with the bare minimum? To settle for being your back burner or some shit? Yeah, fuck that.”

I started walking away, afraid that he would see my cry and I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from saying yes.

“Don’t walk away from me, please” He pleads.

“See! This is what I mean! My heart knows you!” I face him, tears streaming down my face.

“It never forgot who you are and what it felt about you years ago and that’s the fucking problem. I have a person who clearly loves me and has been taking good care of me ever since you left. And then you prance back to my life as if you didn’t break my heart three times? Fuck this.”

“I know what I did, okay? But I’m-I’m asking you for another chance. J-just give me a chance.” He tries to close the space between us but I take another step back.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. Do I still have feelings for you? A part of me might, but it’s him. And before I met him, it was always you. In every man I dated, I looked for you, but now, it’s him. Now that you’re here, I couldn’t stop thinking about him and how it feels to be in his arms.”

I take a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, but I love him. I love him more than you — and I really thought I couldn’t love another boy as much as I loved you back then. But there he is, proving me wrong every single day,”

“Honestly? A part of me wishes you woke up earlier —maybe it would’ve worked, you know? But I’m done with all the wishful thinking. I’m past that. I’ve moved on, and I’m happier now, and you should be too. Stop using me as this hostel you could go back to when the world’s too much for you. That once you’re healed, you could just leave without any worries,”

“You need to let go of me and whatever idea of me you have in your head. We need to do this for one another, because there are people out there more than willing to love us probably more than we could love one another,”

“This has to stop, okay? I don’t want to get my heart broken again.”

#heartbreak #idk how to tag this #idk what im doing

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ntj2pj · 7 months ago

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I want to vent a little bit on this topic since i known some writers who do it and it stressed them. Just a little note and reminder: you don't need to be 'realistic' and accurate to canon, especially when it's comes to bigotry. Especially if you don't like it personally, and write for people who are distressed by such takes daily. You aren't scriptwriter for canon, you aren't even paid to be closer to canon, you obligated to do it for no one, really. Fans who may (most likely not) criticize you? Well, they aren't paying you reasonable wage for stressing about it too. You can offer them to pay to you to stop posting it for a day, lmao.

Many people come to read fanfiction as escape and a way to rest from real world, and if you want to make your fiction more pleasing to others - completely ignoring canon parts of bigotry or showing how characters can't just spit it out (because they would be called out by other characters in same second/punished immediatelly/no one in room would support them), or change. It's possible and happens actually! You shouldn't keep "realism" "accuracy to canon" in your work if it distressing to you, and makes you want to throw keyboard out, or to feel need to be "more patient", "get more used to" fictional bigotry since it's 'realistic' and 'canon'. Yall deserve better, even when world and sexist scriptwriters can't provide! Who knows. maybe archeologists in future would find your fics and decide that canon script was, in fact, poorly rewritten script with added sexism, lmao, and original was completely clean. Give them chance to do it! :D

You aren't also obligated to write long fic about how character learns to be decent person from a sexist, if it stresses you and not what you're interested in exploring. There are also many, many readers who don't want to read long plot about how character changes and until then feels free to be asshole, they also would prefer fics where characters already are decent and cool with others, at least not bigoted. Don't feel bad for writing it or changing it! Personally im myself like this. I hate reading ANY sexism even if character changes and woman takes revenge on them later. I hate storylines where someone needs to be fixed and learn to be better, and women have to fight with others for bare minimum respect constantly, because I see enough of that in reality every day. There also people who love to read it because it validates their feels and struggles, but I'd prefer plots where the characters are initially clear about their position, and don't have any misogyny.

Many readers actually would enjoy version of character where this part is ignored, and fanfiction where they can finally rest from sexist/racist/transphobic takes they experience daily, non-stop. It would be good if some authors who hold to this 'realism' as sign of quality writing, can find the boldness to stop and let their characters be and grow in acceptance, if it what they would like to read and see more.

If you want to write m/m fic but one of characters got canon female interest - you don't need to keep them in relationships, and destroy them in fic. It makes fans of female character and canon pairing feel bad, and it also may make some of m/m readers feel bad too, because they don't enjoy seeing demonization of female character and bad traits in them, or "being feminine" viewed as bad, or don't like hate for any pairing. They may be fan of both. Or, which may be even worse, they may be that exact type of person you describe derogatory (mentally unwell, struggling with emotional regulation, etc etc). You don't need an excuse for your character to love someone different from the start or just not being interested in canon female interest. not because female character got some demonized traits, but just because they have different taste or unrelated interests. Or they can end relationships on a good terms and still be friends. There are infinite possibilities, really, you can write it however you want!

If you would love to read about female character who ain't what usually portrayed in media, with others struggles you see them usually go through (which is… some sort of constant sexism and harassment sometimes) - please do! Feel free to write ALL male characters (even villains and opponents) as not sexist and not acting creepy towards your female character, it's fun, trust me. I promise, there already are MANY people with same thought and wish to read it you have, and you can inspire more creators to do content you like if you do some yourself, or support them! By not writing fics on genre and tropes you love, you may accidentally scare off a reader and another writer in the fandom with those tastes, because they might decide no one is interested and shy away.

Personally, i love female ocs of niche queer creators and allies FAAAR more than characters written by authors of some popular media i also love. They got all i need - hairy, chubby, strong, masculine, evil, violent, angry, egoistical, multi-dimensional, unique. gnc, silly and comedical, relatable, etc, in a way catering to my tastes. I would consider myself hetero if not them lmao. They just spark that love and serotonin.

Do what you want!

Re: whoever wrote this really hates women, what are some of the more frequent red flags you've seen?

Okay so this was based specifically off of reading a fic where two different canon female love interests were written off as "cheating bitches" despite neither of them being unfaithful to the male love interest in canon, so...that, for one thing.

A non-exhaustive list of things that make me think the author really doesn't like women that much:

Women regularly being described using derogatory language (bitch, slut, etc)

Major female romantic rivals being written off as cheating, abuse, gold-diggers in an out of character way (for fics)

Female characters being described as shrill, hysterical, etc

Male characters being written in negative ways by giving them traditionally/stereotypically feminine traits (e.g., overly submissive, especially to an "overly assertive" female character)

Transmisogyny

Fridging female characters

Relationships between two women (usually two cis women, when genitals are relevant to the conversation) being erased or existing only as an afterthought while m/m relationships are a major focus

Female characters being derided or "getting their comeuppance" for being popular, being attractive and aware of the fact that they're attractive, liking/caring about fashion, being "overly" interested in men, etc

"Not like other girls" narratives

Erotic descriptions of women's dead bodies

#rb #rants #writing

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inkskinned · 3 years ago

Text

the instagram post begins with all-caps - LADIES!

i'm a lady, and it's 2 AM. i can't sleep. it's been a while since i felt rested. i am in and out of a springtime mania; all summer energy with six more weeks of winter to go.

the rest of the post says if your man kisses your forehead, you better appreciate it. he's not getting anything out of that kiss; it's just to comfort you.

at least the comments are ripe with derision; wow we're really romanticizing the bare minimum here huh. i stare at it for a long time; thinking about how often these types of posts wound up on my facebook wall. i've since stopped checking facebook.

and there's someone out there who wrote that. there's someone out there who will just-read-that and accept it as true. there is someone out there who is reading it, right now, and letting herself say - see! he loves me!

i want to tell you a better story; but my co-star's don't list had editorializing on it today. i am 28 and safe now. you know what i'm going to say, but i still feel awkward admitting it: for five years of my life, i would have loved that kind of sentiment. i would have saved it for later, watched-out-for-it. noticed his small effort just a little bit harder. sure, it's weirdly worded (..."get" anything out of it??), but it's true, isn't it. he loves me. this proves it. if you go far enough back in my writing (please don't) you can watch me repeat it. how he loves me so much; demonstrated in these small interactions.

i was never the type to post that stuff; even in the days of livejournal or myspace. i used to have a private folder on my laptop. screenshots from when he'd say nice things. little pictures that read things like you know he loves you when he sees you crying and orders the hitman right away or if you're the only one he's soft to, you won or, you know. slap my ass and buy me pizza. tasteless, stupid, vapid little apologies for him. girl if he's not texting you it's because he's napping. little ways i'd see him, over and over, in the lines other people were writing. if he hates your music, get to love his. the tepid-water system i was slowly boiling in.

i mean, i'm a feminist. i'm an activist. i've done the reading. i've been better than this. the other day my onedrive sent me the most unpleasant picture memory: if he uses you hard in bed but still cuddles in the morning, you know you're lucky.

i had seen so many posters and signs and bathroom stalls that warned: you will always believe it can't happen to you. there was no being better-than, there was no "deserving it". it was just him, over and over again, taking up all this space. and, to some extent - it was me, finding reasons to apologize for him.

of course he loves me. he kisses my forehead. and i'm not going to like the picture or save it; it's ugly. but see? the idea isn't that unusual. and who cares if it's the "bare minimum." he does other things too. there are girls out there who are only getting the forehead kiss; i feel bad for them. he's a good one! i just have to be more appreciative. i just have to work harder at seeing the little things. i just have to be patient; i just have to be more caring, i just have to -

#anyway #spilled ink #writeblr

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spaceyflowerswriting · 2 years ago

Note

idk if ur reqs r open but!!!here we go!!! could i have some hcs of johan, jake, gun and eli with a s/o whos like, much taller than them n also kinda beefy? hope ur having a great day <33

lookism boys with a taller, buff s/o

details: gender neutral reader but written in 2nd pov, reader has been dating character for a while

a/n: still open <3 i'll make it clear on my pinned post/description if requests are closed :] + here's your request, hope u like it! and i hope ur having a great day, too 💖

johan

> he doesn't think much of your muscles; he's seen muscular people before, what's the big deal? your height, actually. your height is the big deal.

> okay, well, not really, but he's not a big fan of people taller than him because it gives him that funny feeling short people usually have of "how DARE you be taller than me" (also gets embarrassed hates having to tiptoe to kiss you)

> he gets used to it, though. and he's a pretty tall guy himself (at least he looks like it?) but because you're taller, he does use it as an advantage to have you grab things he can't reach

> ...not that he'll admit that or anything. just please don't tease him unless you want to see him blush ^_^

> anyways he still acknowledges your beefiness and the work done to keep them. he likes inviting you to exercise with him <3

> exercise isn't as monotone with you around, even if you two don't talk. it's having your presence around that warms his heart and also makes it less lonely for him! jogging in the quiet morning while the sun rises is his favorite thing to do

> gets flustered if you wear tank tops or anything similar~

jake

> "tall and muscular, eh? we're pretty similar!"

> the first time he met you, he appreciated your muscles and was shocked when he realized you were taller than him. jerry is one of the few people taller than him,, time to add you to the list!

> enjoys comparing muscles and generally checking in on you ^_^ if you want to get buffer or wish to stay where you're at, he's supportive <3

> loves using your height + his height to be annoying. especially when it comes to taking up space or him convincing you to (unless you're also in on it lol) tease shorter big deal members

> just to be ridiculous, has had you both do the two people in a trenchcoat thing before at least twice LOL (with him having you sit on his shoulders unless you're strong enough to carry him and don't mind hiding in the coat)

> people are so jealous of y'all; tall as hell, attractive couple!! power duo!!

> glad to be the small spoon for once~ but he'll still make you the small spoon occasionally!

gun

> he acknowledges a good physique when he sees one, but to him, it's all just for show unless you can fight

> if you can't, that's fine, but he will offer to teach! bare minimum self defense, at least. and if you accept, he's more than happy to teach/spar with you

> your taller height is of no issue to him. just don't tease him too much about him being the shorter one, he already has to deal with goo who apparently is an inch or so taller (according to fandomwiki 😭)

> sort of has a certain expectation set up for what kind of physical stuff you can do. not in a bad way, in a, "i know you are capable of carrying these, come back and assist me in moving them around" way lol

> your muscular appearance is a bit comforting to him. he doesn't feel like he has to worry so much about your safety (from his... millions of enemies lol) if you're at least physically capable of running away/fighting back a little

> if you invite him to workout with you, he'll accept ^_^ he doesn't really invite you to workout with him mainly because his workouts are some insane, very draining shit but like. he doesn't mind chatting while exercising with you sitting nearby either <3

> sharing clothes !! he makes your mildly oversized clothes look great on him and he likes the way his clothes are form fitting on you~

eli

> this man is the last guy ever to judge someone by appearance so that definitely applies to when he's looking for a partner, too i.e. he never thought much about how you looked, only how you presented yourself

> let's just say you had a great presentation because you scored yourself eli as a boyfriend <3

> he'd love you no matter what but he is pretty glad you have muscles/strength. now yenna has two strong parents!!

> by the way, he still worries over you. even if you can fight to defend yourself, eli is just a worrisome person who wants his loved ones to be okay at all times

> doesn't blink an eye at your height. it's actually kind of refreshing to him because people are either so short he has to look downwards so much it hurts his neck or they're around his height. so, having to look up a bit is new and nice to him :] (i mean if you're that much taller than him then i guess it's just the short people problem but now he's looking upwards... oh well 😭)

> thinks it's cute whenever you kind of have to bend down a bit to kiss him <3

> loves the way you make him feel when you hug him! it's like you're a blanket and he's safe in your arms~

#lookism x reader #johan seong x reader #jake kim x reader #gun park x reader #eli jang x reader #johan seong #jake kim #gun park #eli jang #sorry i have no idea why this took me so long 💔#requests #089194

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starlitangels · 3 years ago

Text

Pack Instincts

So... I’m filling in Lovely with an OC because trying to make both Darlin’ and Lovely completely general was getting way too confusing for my brain. I might get better at it with practice, but until then, Lovely is getting filled in. (2.8k words)

—

“Aren’t you cold?” Sam asked as I climbed out of my car, his silver eyes sweeping my bare arms. I pretended not to notice the way his gaze lingered on where my tank top left my shoulders exposed. I forced the heat rising on my cheeks down.

I scoffed and shrugged. “I’m a werewolf. I don’t get cold.”

“It’s pretty late in the year... want my jacket?”

“Thanks, but I’ll be fine,” I replied.

“You stubborn little—” He cut himself off with a shake of his head, sliding out of his jacket as he spoke. “Here. Just put it on and don’t fight me on this, okay darlin’?”

I rolled my eyes but accepted the jacket. “You do realize why I wear bare minimum clothing, right?” I slid the sleeves on.

“No?”

“Because when I shift, I have to phase through my clothes at the same time, or risk them tearing off. Or I have to take off my clothes first. My wolf form is a lot bigger than my human body. I can’t just leave my clothes on and wear them as a wolf. Some of the other pack members are small enough that that’s feasible, but me and David definitely aren’t. So I don’t tend to wear much in the way of clothing. This jacket is just one more thing to phase through in the event of an emergency. But... thank you. I appreciate the gesture.”

“C’mon inside. Everyone else is already here.”

He led me inside and down some stairs. Vampire magic stung the air around me. Like I’d just walked into a field of pollen during allergy season. I wrinkled my nose but managed to keep the wolfish growl from rumbling in my chest.

The meeting room was a large, square chamber. Probably once used for prop and costume storage for the park. A ring of dining chairs sat in the middle. The largest was reserved for the clan’s king—William Solaire. Scattered in and around the ring of chairs were the rest of the clan. Socializing.

I leaned over to Sam. “Which one is Alexis?” I breathed.

Sam’s expression darkened, but he silently nodded to a gorgeous woman standing between two male vampires, chatting amongst themselves.

I shoved down the tidal wave of fury building in my gut. The overwhelming desire to kick her fangs in for what she’d done to Sam was making blood roar in my ears.

But at least now I had a face to put to the name.

“C’mon. I want you to meet Vincent,” Sam said. “He looks a bit younger’n me, but he’s been a vamp about twice as long as I have.”

I let him lead me to the back corner of the room. Where a handsome young man, who did in fact look like he was a few years younger than me and Sam, was standing with a girl half-a-head shorter than Milo.

“Darlin’, this is Vincent and his partner. Vincent, this is the troublemaker I’ve told you so much about.”

Vincent gave me a smile that I was sure was meant to be charming as he stuck his hand out. “Pleasure to finally meet you,” he said. I shook his hand. “So, Sam here usually just calls you troublemaker. But I’m assuming you’ve got a name?”

“Most people just call me Tank,” I said. “Pack nickname from when we were teenagers. Kinda stuck. You can call me Tank.”

Vincent bounced his eyebrows at my evasiveness. “Alright. Tank then. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too.” I guessed. But I could be civil. I could show Sam that there was a lot more to me than just recklessness.

“Alright,” William’s voice said, carrying over the room even though he wasn’t raising it. A leader just like David. Just like Gabe. Soft-spoken but garnering attention the moment it was called for. I could respect that. “Now that everyone is here, we can begin. If you would please take your seats.”

The clan moved around to take seats that seemed to be assigned. Or at the very least habitual. Just like pack meetings. Sam guided me to a pair of empty seats at the three o’clock position to William’s twelve.

William got the meeting going, talking about random points of business that I tuned out almost immediately.

Even without shifting, Sam’s scent—earthy, rich, and musky—hung heavily on his jacket and filled my nose. I was a little surprised at how much bigger his jacket was on me than I would have expected. Maybe it was his quieter, gentler demeanor, but he didn’t seem as burly as David—yet they could probably swap clothes and be relatively comfortable.

I kept my gaze unfocused, staring through William’s jaw more than at his face. I knew if I let myself even glance at Alexis to the king’s right, that urge to shift and lunge at her would fog my brain so completely I’d be half-shifted before I could even realize what I was doing. So I kept my eyes elsewhere.

I shouldn’t have been surprised that vamp clan meetings weren’t too much different from pack meetings, but I was. Vincent was to William’s left with the same mildly-bored expression I’d seen on Asher’s face dozens of times. Sam, from his place beside me, was looking tense and picking at his nails. He wasn’t usually one for fidgeting, so I knew he must have been nervous.

The two newborns—who weren’t so newly-turned anymore, but I recognized from pictures Sam had shown me—sat on his other side, sitting closer together than Sam and I or Vincent and his partner.

“Now, to the main focus of today’s meeting,” William said with his French accent, causing me to tune back in. “Quinn.”

I clenched my jaw. Both newborns stiffened.

“We all know what he’s done in the past to our clan,” William continued with a vague nod toward the newborns. “Now it is time to plan for the future. Sam, if you would introduce your guest.”

Sam stood, gesturing for me to stand as well. I did. “Everyone, this is a member of David Shaw’s wolf pack, who has a story to tell, expounding a bit on what we already know.” He dropped his voice to add to me, quietly, “Tell ‘em as much as you’re comfortable with, darlin’.”

I squared my shoulders. The Solaire Clan was the strongest vamp clan in Dahlia and the region beyond, but I wasn’t scared. What did I have to be scared of? “Quinn and I have a history together,” I said. “A troubled one. That I don’t need to go into. Suffice to say, a little over a year and a half ago, our... relationship ended badly. He attacked an unempowered friend of mine in retaliation and nearly killed me when I tried to protect my friend. I left town to stay with family in Washington and recover from my injuries after I fought him off. But during that confrontation, Quinn and I tasted each other’s blood. Which forged a bond. I can sense where his blood has been spilt, and vice versa. I met Sam six months ago or so when I came back to Dahlia and I could feel Quinn’s presence here, in Wonder World. I’ve been trying to find him ever since.”

I watched Vincent’s partner—the Electro Energetic—get up and leave. I knew the body language all too well. Trying to look relaxed and unbothered, but failing to loosen the tension coiled within the muscles. Vincent looked like he desperately wanted to follow, but he remained seated, casting an anxious glance toward William.

Once I finished relaying the details of the plan David and the pack had come up with for us and how the Solaire clan might wish to join us, I sat back down.

Vincent’s partner didn’t come back.

I waited two minutes, counting to ten twelve times, before I set a hand on Sam’s knee. “I’ll be right back,” I said.

He nodded.

I slipped out of my chair and left the meeting room under Wonder World. Once the door shut behind me, I half-shifted. I could feel the electricity of an Electro Energetic’s aura trail up the stairs. I followed it up and outside, to one of the benches beside one of the abandoned ride queues.

Vincent’s partner was sitting there, face covered by hands.

I shifted back to fully human.

“Am I the only one who thinks this place is friggin’ creepy?” I asked, leaning against the queue’s fence with folded arms.

The Energetic flinched and looked up at me. “Oh. It’s you.”

“I’m not gonna hurt you,” I said. “What’s your name?”

“Alina.” She brushed some of her hair out of her face. “I actually met Vincent here.”

I snorted. “You’re one of those nuts, then? The kind that go snooping around abandoned amusement parks for fun? Do you like empty churches after dark too? Dilapidated old hospitals?”

She smiled, but the tension still didn’t ease out of her shoulders. “Sometimes.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeesh,” was all I said.

“Hey,” Alina protested, “you met Sam here too.”

“I was hunting, not exploring for the hell of it.”

She sobered up immediately. “Quinn,” she muttered. I nodded. She patted the bench next to her. I sat. She sucked in a deep breath. “How much has Sam told you about me? Anything?”

“Just that you’re an Electro Energetic.” Not a lie.

She fixed me with a stare. Her eyes were two different colors. One frosty, electric blue, the other a strange amber-gold. She brushed her hair out of her face again. “A little over a year ago, there was a vampire in this clan named Adam. The second time I came here, looking for Vincent, Adam found me instead. I was latent, at the time. Thought I was completely unempowered. No magical signature at all, but still drawing in magic. It made my blood... potent, I guess. Vincent had claimed me, but not Marked me. Which still made me fair game. Adam wanted my blood, but Vincent scared him off before he could bite me. Vincent Marked me before he took me home that night, but Adam followed us. Slipped inside the boundaries of the wards Vincent put up before they were even laid.

“And... once Vincent left... Adam kidnapped me. Brought me to a cellar under this place that he’d carved out. It was warded so no sound could escape. He kept me there for two days, drinking me to the point of blacking out then using regeneration magic to drag me back. Had me tranced so I couldn’t move and could barely speak. He made it so I couldn’t even say certain words. If I tried to say ‘no,’ my mouth would say ‘yes.’ Stop was Please, Help was More. I couldn’t even say Vincent’s name without saying Adam, instead.”

I stared in horror. “What a sick f—” I cut myself off and shook my head. “Sorry.”

She shook her head too, staring at the cracked old pavement. “It’s fine.”

“How’d you get away?”

“The trauma of what he’d been doing to me, coupled with my own anger, unlocked my powers. I broke out of the trance just enough to hit him with a bolt of lightning. He lost concentration on some of the soundproofing wards. I hit him again with more electricity. The commotion led Vincent to me. He tore Adam’s head off with his bare hands.”

Alina paused, but I could tell she wasn’t done with her story. I kept quiet.

“I passed out. I’d never used magic before, and the combination of those two bolts and the blood loss completely drained me. Wiped me out. For several hours.” She glanced at me. There were tears in her eyes. “Sam’s the one who healed me. Stabilized me. I probably wouldn’t be here without him. He’s a good man.”

I nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, he is,” I agreed.

Her mismatched eyes drifted back to the sidewalk. “Not a few months later, Vincent told me what happened to Frederick and the other newborn. That Sam turned him to save him, and he in turn, well, turned the other. Because of a rogue vampire who takes pleasure in hurting other people. Another one.”

Alina sniffed and wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

I awkwardly held out my arms. “Want a hug?” My voice was stiff. I was very much not used to playing the role of comforter. I hated being on either side of comfort. Hated getting it, wasn’t good at giving it.

But I was still human. And I could see Alina’s struggles all too well reflected back at me from my own experiences. I could suck it up and try.

“Yes.” She shoved herself into my arms, wrapping hers around me. I lowered my arms around her and patted the back of her head. I could feel tears soaking into my tank top but I ignored the slight chill the dampness brought. I’d endured a lot worse than someone crying into my chest.

“I know,” I whispered as she cried. “I know. And it f—it sucks.”

She sniffed and I felt her chuckle slightly. “You don’t have to censor your mouth around me,” she said. “I live with Vincent. He’s not exactly a paragon of propriety.”

“Oh I know. He’s got a rep.”

Alina lifted her head, looking interested. “Does he?”

I snorted. “Girl, half of empowered Dahlia knows he was a flirty playboy.”

She giggled. “Why am I not surprised?”

I snickered, hugging her tighter. “I didn’t move here until I was a teenager but I was warned off him by name. My alpha at the time—Gabe, David’s dad—told me that if a certain Vincent Solaire ever tried flirting with me, I should tell him to get lost. Immediately and without hesitation.”

Alina burst out laughing. “Yeah—definitely not surprised.” She narrowed her eyes playfully at me. “Did he try?”

“Oh, I never met him until tonight. We didn’t run in the same circles. I’m not just meaning because I’m a shifter and he’s a vamp. I’m meaning I tended to spend my time around... a rougher crowd than he did. The Solaires are the fancy, wealthy, property managing, elite clan. The Shaw pack may be on the same level of respect as the Solaires, but I am not like the rest of my pack. David would be the first to tell you. The rest of the Shaw pack are respectable people—even Asher, goofy as he is, since he’s more emotionally intelligent than a therapist—and I am an absolute mess in comparison. Suffice to say Vincent and I would probably never have ended up at the same haunts.”

Alina was still laughing, wiping her eyes again on her sleeve. “I don’t think you’re a mess. I mean, Sam likes you.” She paused. “Well... I guess... Sam kinda does have a habit of... trying to fix things. And people.”

I laughed. “He does,” I agreed. “Comes with the territory of being a healer, I guess. I’m just his latest addition. Another broken piece to add to his pile of To-Dos.”

“No you’re more than that. He likes you. I’ve only known him for about a year and only in brief meetings, but Sam keeps his feelings kinda... locked up. But not with you. I saw the way he was looking at you while you were talking. Like there was no one else in the room—the world, even—but you and him.”

Heat flushed my face, traveling down my neck and into my chest. “Oh. Well. I—I, uh... it’s just...”

“Hey,” Alina interrupted. “Thank you. For the distraction. I’m definitely calling my therapist in the morning but... uh... I really appreciate you coming to talk to me. All this talk of Quinn was dredging up bad memories and—and... and I needed the distraction. Talking about Sam—talking about Vincent. It really helped.”

I chuckled awkwardly. “I’m glad. I just saw you leave and not come back. And Vincent obviously wanted to chase after you but was kinda... stuck.” I made a face. “He was caught between you and William and didn’t know what to do. So I came after you instead.”

“Even though you don’t know me.”

I sighed. “At the end of the day, humans and wolves share a trait: we’re pack animals. I saw you leave and I knew I needed to come after you. I don’t make friends easily. Never have. Ask David, if you ever meet him. But I couldn’t stop the instinct.”

Alina smiled. “Well, thanks for it. I needed to talk to... someone else. I love Vincent to death but... sometimes ya gotta talk to other people, y’know?”

“I know the feeling. Probably too well,” I said.

—

Vincent and Sam stood beside each other, hiding around a corner, watching their partners. Vincent smiled. “At least they get along,” he said.

“Get along?” Sam quoted incredulously. “That’s all ya think this is? I’ve never seen that touch-starved wolf even wanna hug anybody.” Except me, he added silently. And, even so, that was after a very hard time for them.

Vincent chuckled. “Baby steps, Sam.”

#Redacted ASMR #Redacted Vincent #Redacted Sam #Sam #Sam Collins #Vincent Solaire #Vincent #fic #gender neutral reader #Starlit Fic

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connabeth · 3 years ago

Text

i’m setting off (but not without my muse)

chapter 1: this is the road to ruin (and we’re starting at the end // percy and annabeth have finished their freshman year of college and make their way back home to new york for the summer with an old friend // percabeth

read on ao3 // please check out @opauc’s lovely art and thank you to @byima for being patient with me! // @pjo-hoo-bigbang

It had been an impromptu decision, as a lot of things in Percy’s life were. He had survived his first year at college in New Rome and he felt like he owed it all to Annabeth. Despite juggling her classes at two different schools, remotely renovating Camp Half Blood, and doing an internship in the city, she had made time to help him study. Of course, she would shrug it off and assure him it was he who had put in the work and made an effort to keep up his grades, but he knew he’d be nowhere without her in more ways than one. Even when she wasn’t tutoring him on weekday nights, snuggled up on his bed in his dorm room with her body drowning in one of his warm sweatshirts and pointedly ignoring his roommate’s snores nearby, she was his source of motivation. If he wanted a future with her, a career, a marriage, a family, a life, he needed to study and find whatever his passion was so he could keep up with her.

But he had helped her, too. She would often find herself working herself to the brink of exhaustion, forgetting to eat, sleep, and interact with other people. Percy was always there to gently nudge her into taking care of herself and maintaining a healthy eating and sleeping schedule. He was also the best way to destress after exams, not that she’d ever admit it.

The transition from high school to college had been strange to say the least, but not necessarily bad . In grade school, his main worry was trying not to get kicked out or die everyday, along with ─at the bare minimum─trying to not fail his classes. But in New Rome, the university was a lot more accommodating for students with learning conditions (as nearly all demigods had at least one), and safety wasn’t an issue he had to actively worry about. He felt a security he hadn’t felt in a long time. It was a mild culture shock, but a pleasant one he thought he definitely deserved after being failed by the American education system time and time again. He was able to actually pay attention in class more and manage decent grades with some help. He was just as surprised as the next person when he found he didn’t hate learning as much as he thought he did, probably because he had some decent─and dare he say, enjoyable ─teachers now. He had also started to care enough to put more effort into his work, the days of plagiarizing papers off the internet long behind him. Well. Most of the time.

Unsurprisingly, he and Annabeth had a legend-like celebrity status, beyond that of the typical hero, given their major role in both wars. A lot of the new people he and Annabeth met either looked up to them, were nervous and intimidated, or sported not-so-subtle crushes on either (and sometimes both) of them. Percy kind of just wished people would treat him like every other normal guy. He was tired of his accomplishments as a hero commanding a kind of deference out of some demigods. Sure, he deserved respect on a basic level but he didn’t want to be worshipped . And the fact that he had briefly been praetor made the situation a little worse.

Although, he would never deny the perks of getting a free brownie or cookie once in a while from the bakery. It helped that one of the girls that worked at the bakery had a major crush on Annabeth. This led to her bringing him a lot of free baked goods which he wholeheartedly accepted. He could deal with someone having a harmless crush on his girlfriend if it meant free junk food for their movie nights. The little green monster in both of them tended to sneak out at times but it was nothing a few placating kisses, some teasing, or a hot quickie in a precarious location couldn’t fix.

It was finally summer break which meant Annabeth was only bogged down by, like, half of her commitments. She had an internship at an architecture firm in New York starting in late June, as she and Percy would be spending their summer back home. And while the Olympus renovations were winding down, the gods were always requesting new things, those fickle beings. Of course, they expected Annabeth to cater to their every whim. She supposed the only upside was the generous salary she earned from designing the palace of the gods. Her mother wanted to provide her with compensation for all the time she invested in Olympus, but the gods didn’t have a great grasp of the value of mortal money so she ended up getting a very handsome paycheck.

Which meant that she could afford to splurge on something worthwhile. It had been a while since they’d gotten to hang with their friend Grover, just the three of them like it used to be all those years ago, so they planned (“planned” was a loose term) a road trip together. Percy had traveled a lot of places, some that he had always wanted to visit, and some he really wished he never had to go to, but he had never gotten to truly enjoy any of them. The chaos and anxiety of quests paired with some kind of deadline hangin over their heads didn’t allow for much relaxation or enjoyment as they traveled across the country on their adventures. A road trip was a nice way to appreciate being in the moment and getting a chance to breathe without thinking about the next god that was going to show up asking for a favor by presenting an unwanted quest like it was some golden opportunity they should’ve been grateful to have been offered. It wasn't like Annabeth to not plan every single moment of their trip from the moment they got in the car. That’s not to say impulsivity wasn’t threaded into her DNA, but she found it satisfying to make vacation plans. However, this summer, the girl was a) exhausted, b) didn’t want to defeat the whole purpose of the trip by ruining the spontaneity, and c) had entered zero-fucks-given mode the second her last final had been submitted.

They had a vague idea of the places they wanted to hit, and Annabeth had made maybe one hotel reservation just to ensure they’d have a room when they visited some popular tourist destination, but that was as far as their planning went. All she wanted was quality time with her two favorite boys, even if it meant getting lost in the desert somewhere in Arizona.

#percabeth #percy jackson #annabeth chase #pjo #hoo #grover underwood #the golden trio #my edits #my fic #pjo hoo big bang 2021

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hansolmates · 4 years ago

Text

one more time (m)

pairing; (former) popular!jk x (former) normie!reader summary; it’s been two years since you’ve seen your former tryst jeon jungkook. you didn’t expect him to be applying for the internship you’re currently running, along with the rate your heart is running at the sight of him in a black suit. genre/warnings; self-deprecating language, your typical (future) co-workers!au, jungkook is a piner and so is oc, a lil bit of sneaking around, adulting, a mutual understanding of feelings (finally!!) smut in the form of—soft n’ dirty baybee, unprotected, cockwarming, overstimulation, minor praise and possession kink, cumplay, &you know that they gon have heart eyes the entire time w.c; 7.3k a/n; darn why am i so... emotional over this??? it started out as a meaningless drabble series but with all my lovely readers and moots it’s grown into such a fun, introspective series. thank u for loving this and joining me on this journey. for those of u who are new to this series feel free to read popular-ish first or as a standalone! [popular-ish masterlist]

if you’ve enjoyed this (whether as a standalone or as a series) please consider giving it a like and a share✨✨✨✨✨

“A mess, I’m a mess,” you sing-song to yourself, organizing the manuals on the clear glass by subject and size. The applications of all your new interns are alphabetized, not a form out of place. Everything’s perfect. “Alright Jessica, all twenty of the interns are accounted for.”

“Actually, there’s twenty-three,” Jessica quips, and you let your shoulders slump. Being part of the recruiting team of your company has been simultaneously exciting and stressful. Stressful because of the constant travel, but otherwise exciting because you loved your internship at your current company. You remember how nervous you were two years ago, and how much support and help you got from your recruiters. Applying to this team was a natural turn of events.

“A-are you sure, Jess?” you look through all the applications, count the amount of nametags, triple check the chairs. You’re sweating through your blazer, wondering where you went wrong.

The head of your recruiting team glues one hand to her hip, while the other hand is holding her iPad, scrolling with her thumb. You swallow, intimidated by Jessica’s golden wavy locks and her black-trimmed white Chanel pantsuit.

“Yep, but don’t be too hard on yourself. I just added three more recruits last night. I’ll get the chairs and the apps are being printed. No worries,” Jessica assures, gesturing for you to hurry up and get outside, “Call the babies in!” your team leader waves her finger around like a magic wand, commanding you to the front lines.

Krystal puts a hand on her shoulder, as always looking impeccable. She has virtually nothing to worry about. She’s a woman who has connections, courtesy of her team leader. “Let’s go, newbie,” she teases, pulling you through the door.

The recruits in the lobby are wide-eyed and vibrant, and you feel a little nostalgic as you watch them line up in front of you and Krystal as you sign them in. You would dwell on the feeling more if it wasn’t for your exhaustion, so you decide you’ll get a chance to take a road down memory lane when you get to the hotel.

“Name?”

“Xu Minghao.”

“Congrats Minghao, here’s your nametag and I’ll see you inside,” with a firm handshake, one recruiter is free to go.

“Name?”

“Chou Tzuyu.”

“Congrats Tzuyu, here’s your name tag and I’ll see you inside,” she doesn’t go in straight away, and moves to the side of the door. “Actually,” you pause mid-handshake with another recruit, staring at the woman in curiosity, “my boyfriend just got a call last night that he was accepted in this year’s batch. Do you have his name?”

“Yes, three more recruits were added,” you chirp, as if you totally did not hear that bit of information five minutes ago, “What’s his name—Jungkook?”

The both of you blink at each other. One hand on Tzuyu’s shoulder, eyes wide and mirroring yours. Your heart falls straight to your stomach, wanting to be eaten by acids and bacteria so you can stop any possibility of feeling any lingering affection for the boy you fooled around with in undergrad. Everything about him screams professional. He’s clean cut, a pinstripe black suit you never thought he’d own, and his hair is neatly trimmed and pulled behind his ears. His shoulders look tall and broad under the slight padding, his biceps comfortably stretching against the dark fabric. The golden complexion remains the same however, from the honest brown eyes to the coral pink lips that would always smile at you.

“Oh, so you do have his name!” Tzuyu clasps her hands together, delighted. He has a girlfriend, too. It’s then you realize you’ll be stuck with not just him, but her for the week. “You guys are so efficient. C’mon Kookie, let’s find some seats!”

“I still gotta get my nametag,” he replies goodnaturedly, gesturing to you, “save us some seats in the front?”

Tzuyu thinks nothing of it, squeezing his bicep before skipping off to the front row. Your eyes linger on her form, and it’s only then you realize how tall and intimidatingly pretty she looks in that plaid teddy bear brown skirt suit. You did not look that good when you were a budding undergrad.

By this time, Krystal has taken all your other recruits from your line, regarding you with a raised brow. She’s fast with her attendance, so you know you don’t have much time.

“I applied last minute,” Jungkook says, scratching his head, “was running out of options before graduation. I didn’t know you’d be one of my recruiters, though. Lucky me.”

Jungkook and you never ended up keeping in contact, at least as of recent. A check-in message a few months in, a happy birthday or holiday greeting late at night. But two years later and those messages are automatic, with no feeling or personality. You never thought you’d see him again, no less in the city.

“You just graduated with your masters, congrats,” you smile at Jungkook, although you’re sure the feigned emotion fails to reach your eyes, “IT Management, right?”

“You remembered,” Jungkook brightens, reaching over to squeeze your shoulder, “you look good.”

“Oh please—” you laugh to yourself, shaking your head, “I just got off a flight and I ran over in a two-day old suit, I don’t even have makeup on,” you didn’t feel this way in the morning, you just rushed to do the bare minimum to be enough and ran over to the convention hall. But now in the presence of Jungkook who looks so handsome and clean-cut, you can’t help but feel a little slighted at the sudden reunion.

“You’re always beautiful,” Jungkook exhales, and you clutch your clipboard closer to your chest.

You cough, an excuse for him to stop touching your shoulder, “You should go inside, it’s gonna start soon. We can catch up later.”

“Wait—” you make a scrunched up face that Jungkook can’t catch, but right in Krystal’s view. You can tell she’s laughing at you internally with her devious grin. “I just wanted to say, Tzuyu isn’t my girlfriend. We’re just…”

“Fooling around?” you didn’t mean for it to sound so sharp, but you wanted this conversation over. You have a job to do and Jungkook is your emotional barrier.

You and Jungkook used to fool around.

Jungkook winces, looking younger in his monkey suit. “I mean if you give me a chance to explain later—”

“Nametag, let’s go newbie.” Krystal slaps on the sticker herself, a little too hard if she asked. She doesn’t even bother to write his full name, just a bright green Jeon JK, IT Management tacked on his breast pocket, clashing with the gold pocket square.

“Sorry,” Jungkook tucks his tail in for now, bowing at you and Krystal as he scurries inside.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. Krystal doesn’t bother to comfort you or ask what’s up—not that you want her to, even though you do want a breather before you have to go up on that stage and explain the itinerary for a week. The only thing you can do is smooth out your skirt, brush away the flyaways on your hairstyle and plaster a company-paid smile on your face.

The autopilot switch is on throughout the rest of the morning. Not just because Jungkook’s around, but the new position has got you on livewire. You’re glad that you’re not wearing base makeup because you are absolutely melting with all the high beam lights all up in your face as you talk through the week’s activities.

You could swear Jungkook clapped a little harder than most once you stopped talking, but maybe it’s because you’re not used to seeing Jungkook in the very front of a lecture. In fact, he was a very hard middle person, preferring not to show off his intelligence and let other people lead the discussion. Then again, it’s been two years, you don’t know how much he’s changed.

Jessica caps off the seminar with a great kick-off, the happy hour. The recruitment team picks a four star restaurant under their hotel so the recruits can enjoy themselves before going off to the training facility for a week.

And by training facility, you also mean yet another four-star hotel. You knew you made the right decision by joining this company because the benefits are impeccable, and value personal enjoyment just as much as they value work ethic. In the morning you and the recruits will be driving uptown to a private resort where there would be classes in the morning, and recoup in the evening. You’re very much looking forward to the infinity pool on the roof.

The recruits are ushered out as soon as you’re done, and that’s when you step out of the shadows to clean up the chairs and the brochures left behind. Thankfully Jungkook is probably following the norm and going back to the hotel to freshen up before dinner. Once the room is completely empty, you rip off your blazer and let yourself relax.

It’s going to be a long week.

Jeon: where u @?

You: hotel room

Jeon: why? Thought we were all gonna have dinner together

You: nahhh, this night is for the recruits! You’ll be tired of our faces by the end of the week, enjoy it while you can 😉 have a good night

You sigh in contentment, relaxing further into the silk sheets. You just finished your skincare routine, letting some mindless drama play as the essences and serums sink into your skin. All you want is one Jungkook-free night. Tomorrow you’ll be stuck training him and Tzuyu for the week and you want to take tonight to emotionally prepare yourself.

Your phone rings once more.

Big Baddie Jessica Jung: krystal and i ordered takeout in the restaurant downstairs. Can u bring it to our room? Plsssssss

Little Baddie Krystal Jung: it’ll be faster if you do it, we even got u a lil somethin🍰🍰🍰

Taking in your outfit, you grimace. You’re dressed for bed, a large nightie with your hair pulled back and a little pink bunny tie headband on top. Can’t they get room service to send it up? You admire your boss but you don’t understand why she needs to display her power over and over, she already knows you’ll follow her to the ends of the earth.

Quickly slipping into a pair of sneakers you run down the expanse of the hotel. It’s easy to spot where the recruits are, livin’ it up in the large restaurant that takes up half the space of the ground floor. Most of them are pretty drunk, hoping to sleep off the hangover on the four-hour bus ride. You have absolutely no judgement, two years ago you were in the same position.

Thankfully you don’t have to go far into the restaurant, as the hostess immediately knows Jessica’s order. While you wait for her to go into the kitchen and get it you drum your fingers against the counter, hoping no one notices you. It’s akin to when you’re a teacher in a mall, hoping none of your students gawk at you in the middle of Victoria’s Secret.

“Ah, well Jungkook and I aren’t official yet—but very soon.”

Your ears perk up at the sweet voice. Tzuyu is leaning across the open bar next to the counter, sipping on a mango mojito. She’s dumped the blazer for the night, showing off her soft skin and slender arms with a sleeveless cream blouse.

“Then where is he?” another recruiter asks, gesturing to the expanse of the lobby.

“He’s not much of a party person,” Tzuyu shrugs, tipping back her drink.

You scoff, plastering on a smile to the hostess as you grab your bags and walk as fast as you can out of the lobby. You’ve never felt more like an old hag until now. Sure, most of the recruits are younger than you, but seeing Tzuyu talk so freely about her relationship with Jungkook has you in a bit of a spiral. The day of graduation, you told Jungkook not to wait for you. Heck, you’re only interested in the idea of what you could’ve had with Jungkook.

These thoughts only cloud you further as you jab the elevator buttons all the way up to the suites where you and the Jungs reside. You relax a little when you see a strawberry cheesecake sitting prettily on the top of their order, your name written on the label with a little heart. Hanging their bag on the door handle of their room, you make your way back to your suite.

You freeze when you see a floppy-haired Jungkook roaming the hallway, looking like a clueless child hobbling around in slippers and wide eyes at any sparkly item that decorates the area. It doesn’t even look like he tried attending the happy hour tonight, dressed in an impossibly big heather grey sweatsuit that swallows his form.

“Are you lost?” you ask tentatively, as if you’re talking to a toddler lost at the mall.

Jungkook relaxes considerably at the sound of your voice, and he replies, “Was tryna find your room since you didn’t reply to my texts.”

“So… you decided to check all the rooms?”

“Yep,” he pops the p with a smack of his lips, “I figured the recruiters would be far away from the party so I started at the top. Thankfully I got to Jessica’s room first. Didn’t have to knock on too many doors. Only one old man got annoyed at me.”

“You’re crazy,” you chuckle, slipping in your keycard to let Jungkook in.

“Fuck, this room all to yourself?”

Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to kick his slides to a corner of the wall, flopping atop your bed and clutching your baby blue koala plush in his arms. The king sized bed is enough for his legs to stretch comfortably without falling off the edge, and he eagerly pads his feet against the soft fabric.

It warms you to think that Jungkook is comfy enough to lay on your bed and hug your stuffed animals, a semblance of friends that you’ve missed for such a long time. Last year the team you worked for was great, you loved the people and even now you consider some of them friends. This year the team is a little smaller, and since your two other co-workers are sisters, it’s a little harder to nudge yourself in the direction of friendship.

As soon as you sit down against the headboard, Jungkook’s eyes soften. Everything feels so different and the same. The threadbare pajamas that either of you haven’t had the heart to throw away since they’re so damn comfy, yet your bodies are a little more worn and your eyes a little more droopier than usual.

“So,” Jungkook bites his lip, not in the sexy way, but the nervous way, “about Tzuyu—”

“Jungkook, you don’t have to explain yourself,” you slump on your corner of the bed, regarding Jungkook with guilty eyes. “I really shouldn’t be feeling the way I’m feeling. It isn’t fair and I don’t want to jeopardize your internship.”

“And… what are you feeling?”

“Dumb things.”

“Your feelings aren’t dumb.”

“This time they are.”

“I’ve always shared my feelings, it’s unfair that you never want to share yours,” Jungkook sits up, criss-cross applesauce, pensive. “Maybe it’s my fault for not making you feel comfortable enough to share, but I feel like the reason why we never worked out was because we never tried hard enough to have a proper conversation.”

How could you have missed all the indicators, all the good words, all the kindness Jungkook has given you that last semester? “You’re absolutely right,” you let your insecurities, your apprehensiveness, get in the way. You think in two years you’d do better to eradicate this kind of behavior, but lately you haven’t had many friends to express your feelings to. “Tell you what, I’ll work harder to express how I feel. No exchanges, no nothings. I owe you this.”

“You owe me nothing,” Jungkook smiles, “I just think it would be nice to y’know, talk. As friends.”

“Right, friends.”

“So, will you hear me out about Tzuyu?”

“Let me open my cake,” you pull out your bag with the cheesecake, which thankfully has two spoons, “it seems like we’ll be having that kind of conversation.”

Everyone is more amicable because of food. According to Jungkook, Tzuyu has a hardcore, ten-year plan for her twenties. After a couple of dates with Jungkook, Tzuyu whips him into the plan. Mentions that she’s well-bred and has a family reputation to uphold. Says IT Management is something completely desirable in a partner, that he’s sensible and wonderful and would like to be committed full-time.

“And she talked to her parents about me and said that I’m a good prospect for marriage. Like I’m another pillar in her plan!” Jungkook cries, taking a monstrously sized bite of your cheesecake, wallowing away.

This is akin to sleepovers you’ve always wanted to have in high school, down to the food gorging. You can’t help but be fascinated, “So are you wrapped up in an engagement? Is this a scary rendition of Crazy Rich Asians?”

“You just can’t turn a one-eighty like that on a fifth date,” Jungkook shakes his head, reeling at the emotional whiplash, “she’s really nice. Really organized, really perfect. It really intimidates me.”

“Is she what you reaaaally want?” you can’t help but ask, rolling your eyes at the excessive use of the word, and tamp down the pain in your stomach by eating a forkful of creamy cheesecake.

“I don’t know!” Jungkook replies exasperatedly, “Obviously I’m worried since she wants to put a ring on it. I told her she needs to back off. Right after the seminar I said she had no right telling other people we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. She didn’t say much, just frowned and walked away.”

You roll your eyes, scraping the leftover graham cracker crust from the edge of the plastic plate. “According to her, I heard you two are planning to make it official very soon.”

His eyes widen, “I really bring girl trouble wherever I go, don’t I?”

“Since I’ve known you,” you half-joke, putting away the plastic cutlery on the nightstand.

You two sit in silence for a few moments, letting the television fill the room with mindless static about some sappy Hallmark movie. Tentatively, you land a hand on Jungkook’s knee. He looks down at your tiny fingers, giving his skin an experimental squeeze of comfort.

“I don’t want her,” he finally says.

“Okay,” you reply, “you won’t even have to talk to her if you don’t want to. I can arrange the groups this week so you don’t have to be around—”

“Give me one week,” his eyes flash to yours, dark and sharp.

“Jungkook. You have your determined face on,” it makes you sweat.

“Because I’m determined to win you over, once and for all,” you eyes widen, and Jungkook visibly freezes, “was that too much? I’m kind of on an emotional high today. I didn’t expect to see you today and it kind of threw me into a loop. I thought I might be running into you once I started my internship but I didn’t think you’d be my recruiter. And then you went on that stage all bad-ass talking about work and you looked so gorgeous in your suit and I was so proud knowing you made it and IrealizedhowmuchImissedyou—”

“Jungkook, slower,” you’re feeling a little woozy as well, equally overwhelmed. “You’re just saying this because you didn’t expect to see me—”

“You’re deflecting, again.”

“I’m scared, okay?” you blurt, throwing your hands in the air. “You’re right, this is all so sudden. So can’t we just start being friends and see if it takes us somewhere? You don’t have to win me over, just support me like I’ll support you.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook moves up the bed, so he’s leaning against the headboard as well. His long legs stretch farther than yours, and it feels oddly domestic as you talk it out and stare at the television screen. “I’m just, worried I’m running out of time.”

“I'm not going anywhere this time.”

“I know,” Jungkook shakes his head, ridding himself of his torrid thoughts. Conceding, he gestures to the television, pulling out the remote under your pillow, “wanna watch television, or catch up?”

You last about an hour until you knock out. However, Jungkook keeps you entertained up until that moment, as you exchange your lives and stresses. Everything meshes together, you’re not sure if it’s the charm that comes with late night talks, but you feel like you can talk to Jungkook about anything if given the time. You melt when he strokes your hair till the last minute, wishing you a goodnight and a promise of more.

“Okay, I’ve gone over most of the work ethics in the manual,” you smile nervously when you see your glazed over recruits, nearly falling off their chairs. Even Krystal is bored out of her mind, discreetly playing with her phone in the back under her manual. Of course you’d get stuck with teaching the boring classes. “Any last minute questions before we head off for dinner?”

Tzuyu shoots her hand up, “Are romantic relationships allowed in the workplace?”

Jungkook promptly chokes on his water bottle. He looks up at you, panicked. Ignoring his terror, you paint on a thin smile towards the young woman, “Like I mentioned earlier, romantic relationships between employees are not frowned upon, so long as you’re not working under or over someone in the same department.”

“Right, just wanted to make sure,” Tzuyu is all chipper smiles as she thanks you.

If you were still twenty-one, you’d gag at the pointed look she sends Jungkook. They’re sitting diagonal from each other, and Jungkook makes a point to pretend to be interested in your lecture until the very end.

You’re halfway done with recruitment week, and while you’re not shocked at how fast the week has gone by, you’re fairly disappointed that Jungkook and you haven’t had time to meet up in private. So far it’s been easy enough to keep your friendship (and past sexual relationship) a secret, but something dark and eager tells you how much you want more. The recruiters are eager to leave, all twenty-three of them grouping off and talking about what they want to eat for dinner. Everyone except a certain dark-haired fellow, who’s hair is currently bouncing off it’s styled coiff, wanting to return to it’s normal non-gelled self.

“Kookie,” you raise a brow at the interaction, Tzuyu leaning over her chair to Jungkook’s, “wanna get dinner tonight?”

Jungkook’s taking an excruciatingly long time to pack his things, raising a brow at her, “I’ve told you already, I don’t want to be involved in whatever plans you have.”

“Oh-kay,” Tzuyu rocks back and forth on her oxford heels, pursing her magenta pink lips, “then why don’t we at least walk back to the hotel together? I really want to talk about some things that might change your mind.”

“Nothing will change my mind,” Jungkook’s determined face has been staying strong for the week, from the way he makes sure he’s first in your class to the simple “good morning” and “good night” texts you exchange. “Besides, I have a date tonight. And I really want to talk to the recruiters about a personal work matter, so can you please leave?”

You try not to snort at how blatant Jungkook was being. You pretend to organize your folders, throwing whatever random notes you have in your bag for later.

“A date,” she twitches, “with who?”

“Someone that doesn’t treat me like a stepping stone in her career path,” Jungkook deadpans, and that’s all it takes for Tzuyu to huff and walk away from the hall.

You think Tzuyu is like a bug, relatively harmless, but someone who gets on your nerves.

“A date, huh?” Krystal quotes, finally looking up from her phone. Her sharp, cat-eyes linger at the door, wondering if Tzuyu is going to pop out and try to drag Jungkook by the reins. Finally, she plants her stare between you and Jungkook. “So, you two fucking?”

“Former fucking,” Jungkook supplies helpfully, and you jump off your podium to elbow him in the ribs, “ow—what?”

“You just don’t tell Krystal we’re fucking!”

“Former fucking,” he chastises, but the eyes he sends you are a little sultry, and you wonder if he’s thinking of fucking in the future. You reel yourself back, focusing on the third party.

But you anticipate that Krystal couldn’t care less, and you’re grateful for that. While a smaller work team means a smaller possibility of close work relationships, you do like the drama-free environment. “Like you said,” Krystal shrugs, slinging her briefcase over her shoulder, “romantic relationships in the workplace are not frowned upon.”

You wring your hands between your bag when Krystal finally makes her getaway, and you look up at Jungkook. “So,” you smile wryly, “you have a date tonight, huh?”

“With a pretty working woman,” he sighs dramatically, putting a hand over his chest, “that is, if she’ll have me.”

“Consider yourself taken.”

Jungkook and you sneak away to your suite once again. To your surprise, the suite is decorated in rose petals and a bottle of champagne sits in an ice bath on your bedside. A large pizza pie sits beautifully on your coffee table, and the television is playing lo-fi hip-hop.

You feed Jungkook champagne-dipped strawberries as you gorge on the joy that is baked bread and cheese.

And when he kisses you, it’s slow and sweet, like you have all the time in the world.

It’s the last day of recruitment week, and all classes ended at noon so the interns can use all the resort’s amenities to the fullest. Many of the interns, including yourself, Jessica and Krystal, are on the rooftop celebrating a successful workweek. Staff and interns alike are buzzing around, eager to top off their weekend with some relaxation and sun.

Jungkook is with his new team, conversing with other IT employees. You try not to stare too hard at your reignited flame, tipping back a cutely decorated glass of fruit. His arms ripple as he tips back the liquid. He’s wearing a tank top and you could swear his biceps have gotten meatier. Unfortunately you hold yourself back, after all the internship isn’t quite over and you still are a professional.

At the end of the weekend you really have nothing to worry about, you know that.

But Tzuyu? She irritating.

“I just don’t understand,” Tzuyu suspects nothing of your budding relationship with Jungkook. You’re thankful for that because towards the end of the week, it was getting harder and harder to be subtle when you two send each other heart eyes from three meters away.

Tzuyu sounds like she’s talking to herself, the way she stares into the infinity pool, despite the fact that her friends are surrounding her with rapt attention. You’re a cabana away from her, sipping languidly at your drink while Jessica and Krystal nap next to you. Even though you can’t see Tzuyu, you can practically feel her pout emanating through the fabric that separates you two. Despite the fact that she’s been offered a great intern position given her degree and experience, she’s still upset. For her, is that not the most important part of this whole week?

“Jungkook’s really not that great if he’s going to turn me down like that,” Tzuyu seethes. You should write up her nonsense in a book and publish it, really. “Why waste time when he has the whole package right in front of him?”

It’s then you realize why you’ve been so torn, so strung up and wound tight all these years. Just like college, all shy and hesitant to take a step forward while Jungkook was ten steps ahead, you were worried. You let other people’s thoughts stop you from making the leap, girls like Tzuyu that never meant to intimidate you, but you let their presence get up in your head and control the nonexistent hierarchy.

But two years later, and that doesn’t matter. It never mattered. Jungkook is no longer the all-star lacrosse player, but what remains is his heart, full and willing.

Everything Tzuyu just said was… wrong. Irrevocably, inexplicably messed up. But the idea of “wasting time” does strike a chord within you. Are you wasting time? At this point, your feelings of each other are pretty clear. What are you two waiting for, again?

You thought Krystal was sleeping, considering her sunhat sitting atop her face, but once she hears you packing away your bag she whistles, “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

Sending a quick text to Jungkook, you make a beeline for your destination. You don’t even bother looking for him in the crowd.

You: meet me by the elevator at the very end of the lobby.

Not a minute passes by when Jungkook joins you at said elevator. He has two glasses of champagne in his hands, and offers one to you, “tired of the party?” he asks.

You clink drinks, easily tipping yours back. “It’s not our thing,” you declare with a small smile. Jungkook's eyes soften, glancing back and forth between your face and the soft pleats of your marigold sundress. His hair is pushed back, sticky from sweat and chlorine, dark bangs hanging over the shaved sides of his head. You turn your head slightly as you wait for the elevator, biting your lip as you're sorely reminded of how sexy Jungkook looked at the dive pool half an hour ago.

The elevator dings, and it’s wide enough for you to slip in at the same time. You put your champagne glass in the corner of the elevator for now, hoping you don’t accidentally step on it. In closed quarters, you can smell the slight tang of chlorine coming from Jungkook, combined with his own brand of musk.

Jungkook looks younger tonight, happier. Having just finished graduate school and working towards a full-time gig, another chapter in his life has started. His hair is no longer in that tight-whipped coiff he struggled all week to maintain, loosened in its natural wave due to the pool water and heat. His cheeks are a little ruddied and plump, a sign he’s been enjoying the food this week.

The door barely closes when you get it out, pulling at his hand to face you.

“Jungkook, I like you,” you blurt, and his eyes bug out considerably. Out of reflex, his hand sharply squeezes yours. “You don’t have to say anything, because you’ve been saying everything for the majority of our relationship. I really like you, I really liked you back then too. You’re still so sweet, and loving, and smart and I’ve just been too dumb and insecure to—”

Jungkook seals your confession away with a desperate kiss, and you turn into a pile of mush at the contact. Relief seeps into your bones, sings into your system. When he pulls away, he looks serious. He doesn’t let you get far, and clutches your face between his two hands so you can’t turn your head. Your soft cheeks fill between his fingers, warm and cradled.

“Never call yourself that,” Jungkook exhales, regarding you with firm eyes, “you’re beautiful, and intelligent, and the person I want.”

“I don’t wanna take it slow anymore,” you mumble against his lips, leaning in so that you can barely nip at the pink skin. “Want you now, need you now.”

“You have me now,” Jungkook agrees, and as soon as the elevator dings open to your floor, he scoops you up into his arms.

By all means it’s not graceful, he’s clutching you like a baby with his hands over your butt as he jiggles you all the way to your front door. Clinging onto him like a koala, you press kisses to his cheeks as he leads you to your room. You laugh and giggle like teenagers, as he fumbles between your breast to grab the card key that’s nestled between your bra. It’s warm in his hand as he swipes it through the reader, pushing you inside.

“Is it bad that I’m kinda turned on by the fact you got my key out of my boob?” you joke, although the contact of his rough fingers against your breast is a feeling well missed.

“Is it bad that I’m always turned on when you lecture in seminars?” Jungkook retorts, kicking the door closed with his slipper-clad foot as he walks you to the bed. “Fuck, I can hear you talk about insurance benefits all day.”

“Didn’t know my sex appeal extended that way—oh fuck—”

Your vibrant marigold sundresses provides easy access to Jungkook as he throws you onto the mattress, your skirt billowing over your waist as he makes quick work to expose more of your skin.

“No more talking, more loving,” he’s crazed, doesn’t hesitate to move your bikini bottoms to the side as he rubs lovingly at your long-lost bud, “need to fuck you, now. It’s been so fucking long.”

“Kook,” his breath is warm against your already sopping cunt, and you lift your hand to run through the strands of his messy hair. It only takes one firm tug and you’re able to pull him up by the root of his hair, cranberry juice tinted lips with a faint sheen because he couldn’t help himself to have a little taste of you. “Baby, let me touch you. Let me show you how much I want you," you coo with a pout, hands trailing over the drawstrings of his trunks.

You can see how much Jungkook wants to say yes. His eyes glow with the possibility, bright and wanting in the afternoon sunlight. The image of him shoving his cock deep into your throat, so far that you can taste it in every crevice of your mouth. Your nails gripping into his ass as you go deeper, tears pricking your eyes as cum seeps out of your pretty lips.

But he firmly shakes his head, fingers doing the devil’s work as he eases a digit in you. A little noise of protest bubbles in your throat, but it soon dies out as soon as he finds the right spot to reduce you to mush.

“Next time,” he exhales against the juncture between your thigh and pelvis, picking up the pace and adding another finger, “if you touch me, I’ll cum right then n’there. This is enough for me, you’re enough.”

So you let him have what he wants. You’ll make it up to him in the morning, and the day after, and the day after. You shed your clothes, the sundress extra forgiving as it slides off your body, revealing a swimsuit that hasn’t even touched the pool. You feel a little self-conscious as he drinks you in after so long, but he quickly shucks off his clothes to match your state of nakedness.

You remember how you tiptoed around your first night with Jungkook, taking great care to make sure it was fleeting, how dark the room was as you let your pleasure take over your senses. Two years later and the sun is setting, gold bleeding through your sheets and illuminating the room. There's no need to hide.

“I must say, we’ve both kept it tight,” Jungkook teases with a wink, squeezing your hips so he can change positions.

You silently agree, your fingers slipping across the washboard of his waist.

“Mm, and still so fuckin’ cute,” Jungkook marvels as he pulls you up on his lap. Your whole body is flushed with want, one hand squeezing your breasts while the other plays with the curls of hair that lead to your sopping wetness. You glide your core over Jungkook’s stomach, sighing as you take note of the abs that clench under your heat and his hot member that rubs between your ass.

It’s a tight fit when you finally sink down on him, but the burn only fuels your desire as he stretches you wide. His grip is helpful as he guides you through the motions. It’s been awhile since you’ve been this physical with someone, and it’s almost comical when you both sigh in contentment at the contact.

“I’ve missed this,” you mumble, biting into his shoulder as he thrusts up.

“Mm, it feels different, right?” Jungkook hums, keeping a slow pace. The drag is wonderful, and you know that he’s trying to prolong the moment. He reaches for your head, presses his forehead to yours as he speaks, “you’re mine now, right? For real.”

“I’m all yours, Jungkook,” you press kisses everywhere. No need to hide anymore. You bleed love into every kiss, to his jawline, the little freckles across his chin, his lips. “This is romantic and all, but I really want you to dick me down. Which is why you need to go a little faster, you sap.”

Jungkook scoffs, “A pillow princess is what you are.”

He stops moving, and you two sink further into the mattress without its springs bringing you back up. The both of you are acutely aware of how wet you both are, your combined arousals seeping between your seams and dripping onto Jungkook’s thighs. But the young man simply relaxes against the headboard, baiting you.

“Kook,” you whine, clenching against his member. Your hot walls have a mind of their own, unable to stifle their desire. Sweat lines Jungkook’s brow as he tries his hardest not to move, just simply be.

“Tell me how much you want me, princess,” the pet name has you clenching harder, and you pout.

“Baby,” you whine, leaning forward to whisper in his ear. There’s no one in the room, and you’re sure no one is on this floor because everyone’s on the rooftop, but the words you’re about to say are for Jungkook and Jungkook only, “please, I want you to pound me into this mattress until I can’t walk anymore. I want to cry out your name so everyone can hear I’m yours. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” you nip at his lobe, and let your thumb nick at the simple silver rings that adorn his ear. You hear a click of his teeth, indicating the clench of his jaw as his muscles flex around your body, "I want you to fill me with your cum until I’m eating it, and—and—oh Kook!”

Your words aren’t enough to distract you from his large dick sitting prettily between your folds, and you’re suddenly cumming, all by the mere thought of what’s to happen. You’re shuddering in his arms, and Jungkook soothes you by running his fingers over the spine of your back, distracting you from the utter mess you’re making on the sheets.

“Such a good girl,” Jungkook coddles you, stroking your hair, “can my good girl take it?”

“Y-yes, Kook,” you nod eagerly, fighting the overstimulation as he nudges you off his lap. You’re pliable, as Jungkook sets up the pillows for you to rest comfortably as you get on your elbows and knees, “your good girl.”

You shudder as your bare pussy starts to feel cold, immediately missing the warmth Jungkook can provide. You can practically feel his hot gaze burning in your back, his large palm squeezing your ass as he marvels at how ready and eager you are for him.

“It’s so easy to slip inside,” Jungkook rubs your nectar across the head of his cock, swirling around your engorged skin as he slips right inside. You both moan at the stretch, “Finally, my adorable baby, you like this? You like getting pounded like the dirty girl you really are?”

“Mm, yes!” you squeal, clutching onto the feather down pillows for dear life as Jungkook displays his strength, one hand gripping your hips as the other weaves itself into your hair. It’s a delicious mix of pleasure and pain, and the lewd sounds of each other’s juices and his balls against your ass echoing in the room.

“Y-yeah,” despite his power, his thrusts are sloppy, and you know he’s almost at the edge, “and I like you, so so much. I want to make you cum everyday, make you happy and—mph—” he gives up on talking, focusing entirely on his destination.

“Cum, baby,” you urge, melting when his one hand comes to thread with your own, “fill me up with you.”

He flips you on your back, and you finally see how desperate Jungkook is to cum. His eyes are glassy, filled with emotion as he strokes himself to completion. Your hand reaches up to cup his damp face, and that’s when you feel him loosen. Hot, pearly strings cling to your pussy, decorating your skin in his essence. Your fingers immediately reach down to swirl the cum between your folds, and Jungkook groans at the picture, immediately throwing your hands to the side to kiss you senseless.

There’s so much pouring between the two of you, affection, the feeling of being cherished, so much that you can feel the whole world reducing to the two of you.

“All mine,” he whispers to himself, as if he still can’t believe it. And then, he puts up a poker face as he leans into you, resting his head gently on your breasts, “I knew I only needed a week.”

You narrow your eyes, flicking lightly at his forehead. You’re sticky, sweaty, and covered in cum and while you’re exhausted, the built in jacuzzi in your washroom looks very enticing right now. “Jungkook, this happened naturally. I said we would try as friends first and we did. We just so happened to escalate pretty fast.”

“I don’t think it was that fast,” Jungkook nuzzles his face into your skin, “it’s been two years since college. Being popular did do a number on our relationship, but we caught up."

“You were popular-ish,” you roll your eyes, teasing him. His face falls, and you can’t help yourself. Your hands reach over to cup his cheeks, and you happily squish the supple, pouty flesh. He’s adorable. “Kim Taehyung though? Park Jimin? Absolute heartthrobs I couldn’t stand to be near them—ah!”

Jungkook seems to read your mind, lifting you bridal style to drag you over to the bathroom where the marble jacuzzi sits tauntingly. The stone is ice cold as he brings you both inside, immediately turning on the nozzles to fill it with steaming hot water. You find the tiny bottle of lavender suds, spilling the soap in an arc. His legs slip over yours, cradling you so that your back is pressed against Jungkook’s chest.

“Being popular never mattered,” Jungkook shakes his head, pressing a kiss to your jaw, “I realized the only person who I really needed to notice me was you.”

bonus.

You wake Jungkook up the next morning with your lips wrapped around his cock, fresh cherry balm rubbing down the thick veins until he's cumming down your throat.

"Wow," Jungkook whistles, licking his lips at the sight of you sucking the arousal from your thumb. He huffs against the pillow, eyes darting to the open organza window, letting in the early morning light. The rooftop of a multi-star hotel, white Egyptian cotton seats, a full time job on the way and waking up in the most blissful way possible.

"I have a proposal," you crawl on top of him like a koala, hooking your thighs between his blanket clad body.

"I do," he replies instantly, looking straight at you with droopy puppy eyes.

"Not that kind," you slap his chest, "where are you living once orientation is over?"

"Mm, there's a boarding house near a local translation. It's probably an hour commute? Not too bad."

"So, I just leased a townhouse last month," you bite your lip, tucking your head between his neck to hide your embarrassment, "I was gonna rent out the spare room and put an advert in the paper but…"

"I do."

"I said it isn't a marriage proposal."

"Asking you to live with me is basically a marriage proposal."

"There will be no benefits," you sit up, wagging a finger in his face, "you'll be paying rent and half the utilities. And you will be doing all the laundry."

"Sure," Jungkook replies loftily, squeezing your ass, "you're benefit enough."

#jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #btswritingcafe #btsghostie #kwritersworldnet #goldenclosetnet #jungkook fic #jungkook scenario #bts fic

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dreamwritesimagines · 4 years ago

Text

Twisted 19 - Chasing Silhouettes [Spencer Reid x Reader]

A.N.: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves! Here’s the next chapter, I hope you will like it as well, and please let me know what you think of it! ❤❤ Ily, kisses! ❤❤❤

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Murder, serial killers, violence, manipulation, mentions of sex, drinking, smoking, blood.

Word Count: 3800

Summary: Truce can be inevitable.

It was safe to say that you were officially off your rocker after the break up. Stress? Check. No sleep? Check. Getting drunk mid-day? Check.

Looking a serial killer in the eye and threatening him?

Also check.

The constant anger was gone though. That blinding fury was gone, the fear was gone, the only thing you felt was numbness. It was as if you were watching everything happening around you from behind a glass, it was there but you couldn’t touch it or feel it.

With one exception; you missed Spencer each and every minute of the day, so you at least knew there was something left inside of you that wasn’t broken. But after what had happened, it wasn’t like you could call him. You had already left him multiple voice messages whenever you got too drunk anyway, and you were sure he had deleted them without even listening.

Not that you could blame him. He had already told you he wished he had never met you, and there was nothing you could do to change that.

“You guys will get back together,” Kenzie assured you like the hopeless romantic she was, “This is just temporary. I just know it, it’s like me and Mina. You can’t stop true love.”

“I doubt Mina ever told you she never loved you,” you stated, exhaling the smoke of your cigarette. “Or that you told her you wish you had never met her.”

She stole a look at Mina who was waiting for your lattes by the counter and turned to you.

“Well alright, maybe you and Spencer are having a more intense fight than we did, but—“

“This is not a fight, Kenz. We broke up.”

“You broke up with him,” she corrected you, “And you’re still in love with him.”

“Doesn’t matter,” you shrugged your shoulders, “I burned that bridge, okay? After this whole case is over, he will want nothing to do with me—hell, he wants nothing to do with me right now and I don’t blame him.”

“Okay,” Mina said as she came to your table and handed you your latte before sitting down, “What are we talking about?”

“Her and Spencer.”

“Yeah no, fuck that guy.”

Kenzie gasped, “Babe!”

“Kenz, he’s in the FBI, okay? He was there when they brought her into that interrogation room.”

“He wasn’t there when they took me to the station.”

“Fine, he came later on but did nothing to stop his beloved team from hounding you.”

“Mina, he was in another room.”

“You can’t possibly believe he didn’t know what was happening in the interrogation room,” she insisted and Kenzie pulled her brows together.

“Wait, didn’t you say he was the one who called you? For the lawyers and everything?”

Mina shrugged, “Yeah, so? That was just because this one,” she pointed at you, “Was too much of an idiot to ask for a lawyer. What, did you never watch a movie? You always ask for a lawyer.”

“But think about it, it means that he was trying to protect her from that whole interrogation process before he even landed,” Kenzie stated, “He knows how that whole thing goes, he made the calls, he gave his professional opinion to the police, he sent his team because they wouldn’t let him in there, it wouldn’t surprise me if he thought they’d go easy on her.”

You held the warm cup in your hands, listening silently.

“Or he just wanted to play the nice guy so that he could manipulate her more.”

You pulled your brows together, “Dude, he’s not manipulating me.”

“Not right now.”

“Not ever,” you said, “That’s not… that wasn’t the reason. Kenzie has a point, he was trying to get me out of there with minimum damage, and he knows how the system works.”

“Yeah, and that’s exactly why you need to talk to him and explain—“

“Enough people got hurt because of me,” you cut Kenzie off, “Died, even. It would destroy me if it was him, okay? Me staying away is better for him, at least he will stay alive.”

Mina scoffed, “Not that your heartbreak is not important, but I need to bitch at you before I forget,” she said, “How could you not tell me Nolan was planning to propose mom?”

Kenzie smiled, “I think it’s sweet.”

“I think it’s a fucking disaster.”

“Oh come on,” you murmured, sipping your coffee, “You’ve seen them together, haven’t you? It’s bound to happen, he’s head over heels and mom can’t stop talking about him.”

Mina let out a whine, “I’m a good person,” she murmured, “I give to charity and stuff, I don’t deserve this.”

“You’re not ten years old you idiot, a stepfather will not disturb any dynamics you have.”

“He will though!” she protested, “To repeat, he is basically my boss, okay?”

“He’s a lot of people’s boss.”

“Yeah, do you know what people will think when I finally make partner?” she asked you, “That my brand new stepdaddy pulled some strings.”

“Please don’t call him stepdaddy, that’s just disturbing.” Kenzie made a face and Mina heaved a sigh.

“How are you so okay with this?” she asked you and you tilted your head.

“Mina, there’s a killer who’s going after people I know and making sure I see that,” you started, counting with your fingers, “I’ve been drugged at my own apartment—in my own bedroom only to find my ex boyfriend’s dead body in my kitchen. I’ve been accused of murder, been handcuffed, interrogated and broke up with the love of my life. The last past week, I got maybe five hours of sleep and oh, before I forget, I also threatened our original serial killer father with death just a couple of days ago. Does it look like I’m in the right mental state to worry about getting a new stepdaddy?”

“To repeat, can you guys stop calling him stepdaddy?”

“What did you tell him when he asked for your blessing?” you asked and Mina rolled her eyes.

“I told him that mom is a grown woman,” she said, “She doesn’t need our permission to do anything. If she wants to get married to the guy who has apparently loved her for decades… who am I to say no to that?”

You tilted your head, “You were nice?” you asked in disbelief, “You’re never nice.”

“Eh, I have my moments.”

“What’s the real reason?”

Mina pointed at Kenzie with her thumb, “She said to be nice.”

“You’re so whipped.”

“You are seriously going to sit there and call me whipped when you’ve been wailing for the last month, miss I shall suffer forever after my lost love even though he was two seconds away from handcuffing me and not in a fun way?”

“He wasn’t-“

“Both of you are being too cynical about Nolan,” Kenzie interrupted you and grinned wide, “I mean come on, doesn’t it make you believe in love all over again?”

“It makes me want to get booze because I’ll never have that, Kenz,” you murmured and she pulled her brows together.

“Oh don’t be like that.”

“Kenz he was the love of my life and I lost—“

“I’m leaving if you start crying into your latte,” Mina deadpanned, “And please don’t say that you’ll plan Nolan’s proposal or God forbid, their wedding.”

“My client list is full.”

She let out a laugh, “You realize we all know that’s your favorite excuse when you don’t want to accept a client, right?” she asked you and you shrugged your shoulders.

“I think I’ll sit this one out,” you said and checked your wristwatch, “Well, I gotta get back to the office, I have this meeting and then I have two other meetings with these new pastry shops.”

“Hey, brat?” Mina stopped you as soon as you stood up and you tilted your head.

“Yeah?”

“You’re okay, right?” she asked, “Besides this whole mess?”

You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to smile, “I’m not but I will be.”

“Will you?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “I mean I have to, right? There’s not much of an option there.”

Mina looked like she wanted to insist, but Kenzie squeezed her hand, silently telling her to drop it before you made your way through the street to approach the building your office was in. You nodded at the security guards then got in the elevator and pressed the button.

When the elevator got to your floor the doors opened but your assistant rushed to you as soon as you stepped outside

“Y/N, hi! You haven’t been answering your phone.”

“Shit, I forgot it on silent,” you murmured and checked it to see five calls from her, “Five calls? Erica, did you guys catch fire or something?”

“I was actually thinking maybe you would want to come to the balcony with me, you know, to get some fresh air before your meeting?”

You pulled your brows together, “What’s going on?”

“We didn’t know if we should call you or left them downstairs but…” she said, making your heart skip a beat.

“What is it?”

“Remember the time you said you were allergic to jasmines?”

You could feel the goosebumps rising on your arms, “Yeah?”

She pointed at something over your shoulder and you turned your head, your breathing catching up in your throat as someone opened the glass door to go outside.

There was a bowl full of jasmine flower petals but you could still take the overly sweet scent. Bile climbed up your throat as you walked through the door to approach the reception desk, and as soon as you saw what was in the middle of the petals, the room started spinning.

A vial of blood.

“Are you dating like a goth guy?” Erica asked as you took a step back, the walls closing in on you.

“Call the FBI,” you gasped as you rushed to the balcony, desperate for air, “Now.”

***

Panic attacks were a big part of your childhood, and even if you weren’t completely unfamiliar with them as an adult, they still managed to take you by surprise.

It took you nearly an hour to pull yourself together. An hour of sitting there in the balcony, your knees drawn up to your chest as your mind desperately searched for something to focus on, something to hold on to.

Some happy place.

By the time FBI had gotten there, your makeup was smudged around your eyes due to the excessive crying, your whole body was shaky and you were so exhausted that you could barely will yourself to get up and walk to your office.

The jasmine scent still clung to the air though.

You didn’t even have any energy to keep your eyes open, your whole mind wrapped in that numb haze that kept pulling you deeper and deeper into the absolute nothingness as you sat there on the couch, multiple agents coming and going into the office, into the reception, into your floor.

Dr Tara Lewis, Spencer’s coworker had given you a small bottle of hand lotion so that you could take in a scent other than those flowers before she had shot you a sympathetic smile and left your office to talk with the reception.

Even raising your hand to wipe at your nose with the tissue balled up in your palm felt way too tiring for you, but you wiped your nose, your eyes still fixed on the wall as the glass door to your office opened once again and footsteps came closer.

You didn’t even have to raise your head as Spencer approached you before he knelt down to look you in the eye.

“Hi.”

You blinked a couple of times, “Hi,” you sniffled, “Is it okay if we don’t do this today?”

He raised his brows, “Don’t do what?”

“I’m too tired to fight,” your speech was almost slurred at this point but you pulled your brows together, forcing yourself to focus as much as you could. “So can we do that tomorrow please? Like truce for a day?”

He offered you a tight lipped smile, “I’m not here to fight,” he said gently, as if trying to pull you back to the reality without scaring you, “Truce for a day works for me.”

You picked at the crumpled tissue in your hand, “Thank you.”

“Do you think you can talk to me though?”

You nodded silently, wiping at your nose again. “Yes.”

“Great,” he said, his calm voice washing over you, “That’s good. What’re you thinking about right now?”

“I’m thinking…” you tried to put your thoughts in order, “Tara gave me a peach hand lotion, can you give it back to her after you’re done here?”

“Sure,” he said, “That’s a good thing to focus on. What else?”

“It’s not my dad,” you said, “My dad wouldn’t dare to fuck with me, not after- it’s not him.”

“Tell me something other than the case.”

You willed yourself to concentrate on his handsome face, “Do I look like a horror movie corpse right now?”

He scoffed a chuckle, shaking his head. “You look beautiful Y/N. You always do.”

“The only person who’s a bigger liar than you is that makeup artist that told me this eyeliner was waterproof.”

He reached out to tilt your chin up so that his hazel gaze could study you better, and even in your numb state you could feel the warmth spreading through your body with his touch, “How long have you been awake?”

“I dozed off for like an hour last night,” you murmured, “I have this new apartment but I can’t sleep in my bedroom because I keep thinking there’s some noise coming from the kitchen, like… like it’s going to happen again. It’s impossible though, there are like five different locks on that door, someone would have to come with a battering ram to open the damn thing but I still don’t feel safe enough to—to sleep.”

He thought for a moment, “You can’t sleep because you don’t feel safe,” he murmured and you heaved a sigh, your head dropping before you forced yourself to raise it again, making a face.

“I’ve never tried peach lotion before, it smells nice…” you mused, your gaze fixed on the wall while the black spots flew in your vision “Have you ever tried it? Also hypothetically speaking, what happens if you eat lotion? Like do you think—“

“Y/N,” his clear voice shot through the haze again, “Sweetheart, look at me.”

If you weren’t too goddamn tired, the pet name would make you snap out of it and even give you a spark of hope, but you could barely concentrate on what was happening.

“Can you do something for me?” he asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, anything.”

“Lie down.” he said and you pulled your brows together.

“Why?”

“We’ll try something,” he said, stealing a look outside to the reception crawling with agents before turning to you as you curled up on the couch, still holding the tissue tight in your hand, your eyes getting heavy the minute your head hit the small pillow.

“What are we trying?” you managed to ask through the fog and he smiled softly.

“Close your eyes, for thirty seconds,” he said, “Just focus on your breathing. I’m right here, okay? Can you do that for me?”

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, counting in your head.

You didn’t even reach fifteen before the sleep surrounded you.

***

You were pulled away from the bliss when someone shook you by the shoulder gently.

“Y/N,” Erica’s voice reached you, “Y/N, wake up.”

You opened your eyes groggily, frowning. It was already dark outside and there was nearly no one in the office except for her and you. You attempted to sit up but stopped as soon as Spencer’s cologne filled your nostrils and you looked down at the jacket covering you.

He must’ve left his jacket on you while you slept in order to keep you from getting cold.

You could feel the small spark of peace shooting through you, the warmth spreading through your veins as you hugged the jacket tighter around your body and cleared your throat.

“What time is it?”

“Eight,” she shot you a small smile, “Um, everyone left and I figured you’d get a stiff back if you sleept on the couch any longer.”

“Erica,” you said, “You didn’t have to stay.”

“Come on, I wouldn’t leave you here alone after today,” she said, “Besides, I told that tall handsome agent that I’d drive you home. His team was called back to the FBI, some clue or whatever.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, I’d be a lousy assistant if I didn’t.”

“No, I mean—“ you swallowed thickly, “Thank you. It means more than you know to me.”

She grinned at you as you grabbed your purse and both of you made your way to the elevator.

“So I take it there’s no goth boyfriend but…” she said as the elevator went down, “Maybe a tall handsome flirt?”

“We broke up,” you murmured and she scoffed.

“Yeah no.”

You blinked a couple of times, “Erica, I’m pretty sure we broke up. I was there—“

“No I mean,” she huffed while you left the elevator to approach her car, “I have a talent to sense these sort of things you see. He doesn’t look at you like you broke up, and that jacket over you certainly doesn’t say you broke up.”

You got in the car with her and she started it.

“Is it because of your dad?” she asked you and your head shot up.

“What? How did you-?”

“It’s a small office, people talk,” she said as if apologizing, “But don’t worry, we all know that’s not the kind of person you are. I even had a fight with my boyfriend about it, but I told him that I knew you, you would never be able to do something like that. He was like you don’t know what people are capable of and I was like well...”

You were way too tired to answer her, so you let her talk about the time how she was great at sensing people’s true motives and how her boyfriend thought you were capable of murder while you sat in her car as she drove you to your place. You thanked her, your mind still fuzzy with sleep and made your way to your apartment.

After checking if all five locks were in their places and counting them in your head, you kicked off your heels and made your way to the fridge to get the bottle of whiskey. You took a swig of it and went to the couch, turning on the TV and leaning back to the soft cushions. You slowly took the jacket off and pulled it over your body, closing your eyes and inhaling his scent.

Maybe you could just imagine that you two were together, just for tonight.

You managed to distract yourself for a couple of hours, just sitting there and staring at the TV, barely paying attention to what was playing. By the time it was midnight, you had reached the half of the bottle and looked down at your phone for a couple of seconds before finding his name in the contacts.

You didn’t have to wait for long, and for once it didn’t go to voice mail.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” you smiled, “Um… is the truce still on? Or should I— should I hang up?”

“No,” he said almost too quickly, “No, don’t. We have today, don’t we? Might as well use the truce until the end.”

“Okay,” you whispered, “Thanks, by the way. For today. I can imagine how hard it is for you—“

“No,” his voice was soft, “No you really can’t.”

A silence fell upon you and you grabbed a tissue, wiping at your eyes,

“Professor?”

“Hm?”

“What does science say about heartbreak? Hypothetically speaking?”

“About heartbreak?”

“Yeah.”

He cleared his throat, “Considering the stimulation that increases dopamine and-“

“In a way that I will understand while I’m half drunk?”

“Addiction.”

You pulled back to look at the phone, “Addiction?”

“You know the areas of your brain that are active when you’re in love? Those areas are also active when you use…well, you name it. Cocaine. Drugs. Nicotine.”

“So that means heartbreak means-“

“Withdrawals,” he finished your sentence for you, “Exactly.”

You grabbed another tissue from the box on the coffee table, wiping at your nose.

“Spencer, what if it goes on like this forever?” you rasped out, “This whole heartbreak. What if I feel like this forever? What if I… What if I’m like seventy and I still—“

Love you.

“Miss you,” you changed your mind mid-sentence, “What if I’m old and gray and still using your jacket as a blanket?”

“That’s what you’re doing right now?”

“Yeah,” you murmured, “Pathetic right?”

“I recorded that show you liked and still can’t bring myself to delete it,” he admitted, “I don’t even watch it, it’s just there. You sure you want to talk about pathetic with me?”

You let out a bitter laugh, “Nah, still no competition professor. I still call you whenever I’m drunk, remember? You’re handling this way better than me, you still have your dignity.”

“I saw a fridge magnet in a store a week ago and I actually walked in there to buy it before I remembered I couldn’t give it to you,” he paused, “I’m not handling anything, Y/N. I’m a mess, it’s like…”

You held your breath, waiting for him to continue.

“You took something with you on your way out,” he said slowly, “And I don’t know what to do with what’s left, to be honest.”

“My chest actually hurts when I see you, you know?” you murmured, “And I still haven’t deleted the pictures.”

“Me neither.”

You picked at the tissue in your hand, “So much for Dante and Beatrice huh?”

“All things considered, they’d handle it worse than us.”

“I doubt anyone could handle it worse than us, professor.”

“No think about it,” he said, “We had….we had each other, at least. They didn’t technically lose each other, because they were never together.”

“It’s still romantic.”

“Dante saw Beatrice twice in his life,” he told you, “Once when they were nine, once when they were both adults. Twice in his whole life. Ignore the poems, what would you do if a guy you saw when you were nine showed up years and years later, proclaiming his undying love for you?”

“Call the police?” you said, making him chuckle.

“There you go.”

“When you put romanticism aside, Beatrice should’ve gotten a restraining order.”

“They didn’t have those back then, Y/N.”

You let out a small giggle, “Yeah yeah…” you murmured, “So what does that mean then? We’re more tragic than Dante and Beatrice?”

He sniffled and cleared his throat, “Yeah,” he said, “I think that’s what it means.”

You could feel the tears burning your eyes, “It’s not going to get easier, is it?” you croaked out after almost a minute of silence and he thought for a moment.

“I don’t think so,” he said, “Not for me anyway.”

“Not for me either,” you murmured and wiped at your eyes with the back of your hand, burying your nose to the collar of his jacket draped over you.

If you closed your eyes, maybe it would stop hurting this much. You touched your screen to get to your gallery, then found your picture together, both of you smiling at the camera, unaware of the heartbreak that would hit you both very soon.

“Good night Dante,” you whispered and Spencer exhaled a shaky breath, as if he was craving the addictive high of your presence as much as you did his.

“Good night Beatrice.”

Chapter 20

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagines #twisted #spencer #reid #spencer x reader #reid x reader #criminal minds

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extasiswings · 3 years ago

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44 please ma'am the serotonin I need it

#44 "You've always felt like home." On ao3 here.

Eddie finds words difficult.

Most people assume that’s because he doesn’t know what to say or how he feels, that he’s deliberately holding back—but that’s not usually the problem. Sometimes, yes—words are difficult because they mean too much, because he feels too much, because cutting himself open for someone else to root around inside of him and risking them finding him wanting is terrifying. But usually—usually it’s that words aren’t enough. They so often feel inadequate on his tongue, insignificant. Besides which, words alone can be so easily tainted.

I love you, I need you, I want you—phrases composed of straightforward sets of three little words. Phrases that he’s said before, but gradually stopped. Because they’re not so straightforward in practice. With Shannon, as years went on, as they broke down, words became qualified.

I want you...but not all of you.

I need you...but I can’t trust you.

I love you...but it’s not enough.

Eddie doesn’t know how to say those things again without those connotations bleeding through. So he doesn’t.

Actions. Actions are clearer. Actions are solid. He prefers actions, prefers symbols, because he’s not limited by the boundaries of vocabulary. And yes, sometimes he still has to find words to use in addition, but it’s easier when there’s something concrete to ground them.

“There’s no one in the world I trust with my son more than you.”

“I forgive you.”

“That’s not going to happen to us.”

“You act like you’re expendable, but you’re wrong.”

The problem is, he can’t seem to find the right combination of actions and words to get Buck to understand his real meaning. The problem is, even if he could fall back on one of those little three-word phrases, he’s not sure Buck would believe him. After all, he gave Buck the most important piece of him, Christopher, legal and notarized and wrapped up in an official bow, and Buck still only seems to accept the bare minimum notion that Eddie wants him around.

So, Eddie sits with his feelings—with love and want and need, desire and trust and faith—he sits with them for months after the shooting while he tries to piece himself back together and Buck dates Taylor. He sits with them when he backslides a bit after they respond to a call with a gunshot victim, when Buck breaks up with Taylor and doesn’t explain why, when Buck goes back to being there with him, with Christopher, all the time, his own apartment more of a formality.

Sometimes, usually late at night when they’ve been drinking, Eddie will look over and wonder if he shouldn’t just close the distance and kiss him. Pull Buck down the hall to his bed and strip him bare, put his mouth on every inch of skin and press love into him until he’s wrung out and gasping. It would be easy.

But. Buck—Buck has spent a long time as an object of desire, believing himself to be good for little else than whatever his body can give to others. And he’s gotten better about that, Eddie knows, but that doesn’t mean Eddie wants to risk sending him back to that kind of thinking. He doesn’t want to give Buck any reason to ever question what he wants from him.

So, no. It can’t be a seduction. Not unless Buck initiates it, and even then he has to handle it right.

It has to be right. Buck deserves that.

In the end, though, it all comes back to the shooting. Which seems…fitting.

***

Buck doesn’t know why Eddie’s suddenly decided to be cryptic as anything. Of course he can have his own plans and they’re not joined at the hip, but Eddie usually does at least tell him things, especially when he’s asking him to watch Christopher. But instead, Eddie’s been vague, on two different occasions just saying that he has an appointment and vanishing for several hours. It’s weird, but when Buck hesitantly asks if Eddie’s back in therapy, Eddie shakes his head, gives him a small smile, and assures him that he’s fine.

So, then, Buck wonders if Eddie’s dating again. And the thought of that—well.

He’s been doing better, is the thing. He knows he belongs, that he has a life in LA and a place with Eddie and Christopher and that Eddie’s not going to show him the door if he gets another girlfriend. Buck knows that. He’s come a long way.

But the idea still makes him feel…sick. Like he missed his chance. Because he’s been waiting and waiting and waiting to be better, to be able to think about being with Eddie in the way he really wants without panic closing his throat as his mind takes him back to standing on a street covered in blood. He’s been waiting for Eddie to be in a better place too.

He thought they had time. He thought he had more time.

He doesn’t know how to ask though. So he doesn’t, just lets it grate at him, itching under his skin. At least, until he happens to look over in the locker room at the right moment a month later to see—

“What’s that?”

Eddie turns his head as he shrugs his uniform shirt on.

“What’s what?”

“That—” Buck can’t help himself from closing the space, tugging the unbuttoned fabric aside to get a closer look at the large swath of black and grey over Eddie’s upper chest.

It’s a sunflower on a diamond backdrop, the stem growing up from the bottom point. The style of the petals makes them look almost three-dimensional and the center is ever so slightly raised, a byproduct of working Eddie’s scar tissue into the design. Buck swallows hard as he stares, his hand lifting unconsciously to touch because he knows what’s there, he knows it’s a scar, he knows because he watched it happen, held pressure on the wound. But Eddie’s not bleeding now. It’s just ink. Ink painting over scars and skin alike and shading the reminder of one of the worst moments of Buck’s life into something beautiful.

“When did you do this?” He asks, only to realize immediately. “Oh. Your secret appointments—”

“Yeah,” Eddie replies quietly. His eyes are soft. “It wasn’t really secret, I just…I was going to tell you when I figured out how.”

Buck blinks. When he figured out how? He glances down again and clears his throat when he realizes his palm is pressed firmly to Eddie’s skin, his fingers splayed over the tattoo. But he doesn’t pull away.

“Why—um. I mean, it’s your tattoo, it’s not my business, you didn’t need to tell me—”

“Yeah, I did,” Eddie says. He looks nervous, glancing away, his fingers leaping to his hair. And for some reason, that makes Buck’s mouth go dry.

“Why?” He manages again. Eddie’s tongue peeks out to wet his lips and Buck can’t quite stop himself from watching.

“Because it’s for you,” Eddie admits finally. “It’s you.”

Buck goes still and meets Eddie’s eyes.

…and of course, that’s when the alarm goes off.

***

It’s a long, hectic shift, with very little time to talk. Which, for once Eddie is grateful for. It’s a conversation he’s prepared to have, but not in public. Not at the station. So when Buck lingers in the locker room as they’re changing to leave, shooting him glances, Eddie bites his lip and looks back.

“Meet me at home?” He asks. And Buck sucks in a startled breath, his gaze searching for a moment before he nods.

“Okay. Yeah. I’ll meet you…at home.”

Christopher is still at school so they have a little time once Eddie walks through his front door to Buck sitting on the couch, staring at his hands and lost in thought. Eddie doesn’t say anything at first, just goes through the motions, slipping his shoes off by the door and dropping his keys in the bowl next to it. And then he sits next to Buck on the couch and waits.

“You said…it was for me?” Buck says finally.

Eddie’s tongue traces the edges of his teeth as nerves shake up his stomach.

“Yeah.”

“You haven’t covered any of your other scars,” Buck points out.

“I know,” Eddie replies.

“So…why?”

Eddie bites his lip and shrugs. “Because I hate that one. And so do you. And because the best part I remember from that day is you telling me that you had me and that everything would be okay. Because I believed that then and I believe it now. Because I wanted—”

He cuts off and clears his throat. He doesn’t know where that sentence goes. He wanted something permanent? Wanted the symbol?

Buck finally looks up from his hands.

“You asked me to meet you at home,” he says. “But you didn’t say…your home. You just said home”

Words are difficult. But these ones are easy.

“You’ve always felt like home,” Eddie replies. “Wherever you are—this place—”

“I’m in love with you,” Buck blurts out, and Eddie’s heart skips.

Finally. Finally.

“Well that’s convenient. Since…I am, too.” Those words are easy and Buck surges forward and kisses him. Eddie presses into it, relief coursing through him.

“Your lease is up soon, isn’t it?” He asks breathlessly when Buck pulls back.

“Yeah,” Buck replies. “Why?”

Eddie kisses him again. “Don’t renew it,” he mumbles against Buck’s lips.

“No?”

Eddie shakes his head. “No. Stay.”

Some words are easy.

#chapel writes #buddie #buddie fic #911 fic #eddie diaz

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abbynx · 4 years ago

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La Squadra Esecuzione as Best Friends Headcanons

Formaggio - Very chill, first and foremost, he is down for anything to do. Videogames? He'll try to beat your ass. Cat cafes? Heck ye he is down - The type of friend who will coax you to cut class to hang out behind the school or climb over the school fence to hang around the local arcade or theatre. But if he get caught, he won't snitch and he's willing to take responsibility. Begrudgingly. - Ohhhh physical touch is bare minimum for him. He'll occasionally lean on you, perhaps shrink himself to fit himself in your pocket just to platonically cuddle and perhaps, use you as a transport. - Will high five you as a greeting, and will high five you as a farewell. Usually followed by a hug too uwu "Bro!" He holds his hand out for a high five, in which you instinctively grant him one, when he also entwines his fingers through yours and pulling you for a hug, patting your back for a second and pulling away. "I missed you bro!" - Prepare for dumb jokes, dumb puns that he effortlessly come up with as time goes by. You can't go on a day without him cracking a joke. You'd either roll your eyes at it or laugh along with him. There's nothing in between "You see that guy over there, bro?" He leans on you, arm draped around your shoulder as he points at a person from afar. "Yeah, what?" "I say... You'd be a perfect match." You glanced at him, hearing him shake a box of matches as he wiggled his eyebrows with a dumb grin. - *Finger guns and bro intensifies* Illuso - That weird person you don't see yourself associating yourself with somehow befriended him for some reason. Most likely started when you both started to wake up at 3 AM and meet in the middle of the dark, in the kitchen, wanting to grab something to eat. At first it is awkward, but soon you learned to bond through it! And soon enough, your midnight chats extended to become actual friendships! - Seems distant, but he cares. He's the type pretend not to care about you, but will glare (or more than glare depending at the severity) at people who hurt you. He is the 'I'm the only one allowed to insult them like that' type of friend. "Huh, Formaggio hasn't been teasing me. I wonder what happened." You wondered aloud, as you say beside your friend Illuso. "Must be because of his bruised jaw. The previous mission must've been tough for him." "Yeah... That..." - Probs touched-starved. He acts irritated and push you away when you try to hug him, but secretly loves it. If you stop trying to hug him, he'd be kinda sad but will not say anything. - This friendship includes you listening to him rant about every little thing, and brag about things he can't do. He appreciates you listening to be honest, and that's initially how your friendships started anyways. - Will use derogatory terms as a term of endearment. Please don't be offended, he doesn't mean any offense "Hey idiot! Get your sorry ass right here! Risotto said we have someone to take care of!" "Thanks, dumbass." "Eyo slut! Take a look at this fugly idiot!" - Does not have the habit of knocking. In fact, he just barges into your room, through the mirror. In more than one occasion has he seen you undressed but he couldn't care less about it. "Hey dumbass can I borrow your— hey, stop screaming! Anyways I ran out of hair ties, do me a solid—" - Everyone around you being confused to how you two are most unlikely to become friends, but you two are practically unlikely twins Prosciutto - You can not stop me from assuming he is quite the mom friend if you pry his shell hard enough. Perhaps a mom friend mixed with tsundere friend. "Hey! Drink your water or I'll break your ankles! No I don't care that we're in the middle of killing someone! I packed you some water and you didn't drink it! Well shit I didn't pack it specifically for you, I just managed to pack extra! Now go ahead and drink, I'll handle this one myself! While you're at it, coat yourself with sunscreen! If I hear you whining about being burnt, I swear to God—" - If you happen to be a mom friend too, you'd be bonding over the

mutual stress of having to look over the rest of the gang over a glass of wine as chaos around you ensues because you two decided to take a small break. "Formaggio and Ghiaccio is up at it again..." You sigh, swirling the content of your stemware as the distant bickering of the two aforementioned assassins echoed. "Just... Let's just lay low. It'll be over soon." Prosciutto sighs along as well, before downing his glass of whiskey. "Hopefully." And it didn't end, as it ensued and progressive got worse. Stands were called, knives were thrown, guns were shot. And two mom friends of La Squadra almost lost their voice from all the yelling and lecturing - Will scold you for your bad habits. Bad posture? He will walk behind you, press his knee on your back and roll your shoulders back whilst he lectures you about it. Messy time management? Will buy you crap to make you keep track of time. Sleeping so late? He will take whatever you're distracted with, demand you to turn your lights off as he lights soothing scented candles and tossing you some comfortable blankets to use. Barely taking care of yourself? Bro prepare yourself. "I don't understand how you live like this! You'd be dead if you were to continue that habit! At least help me help you to make you be better!" - Very blunt and honest to the point it stings, but he never lies to people he is closed to. He prefers being upfront with his loved ones and will try to rebuild their confidence and reassure them that they can be better than what they are. "When I say you're idiotic, you're but a burden, I mean it. You have all rights to be hurt by it, but don't just live with it. Prove me wrong, that you can be better than that and you'll be the best version of yourself. I know you can do it." - Will accept hugs, but will most likely not hug back. Maybe he'll just out one hand on your back and lightly stroke it, but that's it. But in rare occasions, he will return them too. Sometimes, he'll even initiate it. - Your connection to him as a friend has lead several advantages. No one in general can make a negative comment about you with Prosciutto around. His glare alone was scary and they would not wish to stick around and find out what he can do than just glaring. - Extremely appreciates when you help him around by simply carrying things for him, fetching him coffee and actually doing your damn job properly is enough to make him be filled with gratitude. Pesci - Baby. Okay, so this boy. Boy oh boy, he is baby. Take care of him, bro. Don't coddle him to the point of him being entirely dependent on you, but sis you can always reassure and make him improve himself! Perhaps a tamer version of his relationship with his brother. - You two will mostly likely be friends because you always defend him from the others from teasing him and rooting for him. He is very grateful for it and can't thank you enough. Either that, or Prosciutto paid you to babysit him. - Will constantly cling on your arm when he's anxious. It's up to you whether you'll snap at him and slap his hand away, or just let him hang around you. He'll just simply grab your wrist, and sooner and later he'd have his body pressed against yours, completely clinging on the entirety of your arm. "D-don't leave me, Y/N! I'm scared—!" - He is extremely thankful for you watching over him and protecting and by this, he tries to improve himself a lot more just so he can confidently say he can watch over you and protect you as well - Just the sweetest little thing, whenever he'd be away with Prosciutto for a mission he'd return home bearing gifts from travel and he'd give it to you. It would be something either miniature, or something practical like a knife sharpener or something. "I-I got this for you... I hope you like it! Big bro helped me pick!" - Honestly, I can imagine him just being the best, supportive and encouraging friend there could be. If ever you needed someone to confide in, he'd just sit and listen and will certainly not repeat what you told him to others. He'll try his best to comfort

you, taking inspiration to how you comfort him and will just try his best to make you feel better. "I know life is rough and hard and bad, but you always told me it will change and soon it all be over and better. It's good that you recognise you're in a bad place, now you need to take a break and then later you won't even know you've already forgotten your problem! It's okay to be sad, too, but not for too long." - The type of friend that will share anything he has. He has a cookie with him? Shit, he'll split it in half and give the other half to you. Some soda? Well I hope you don't mind drinking from the same can as he is, he will give it to you. Melone - So this nerd isn't a complete creepy pervert, not entirely at all. He's chill for most of the time, so he's a neat company if you don't mind him bombarding you with questions regarding your genetics, heritage records, blood type, zodiac signs and whatnot. But knows when to stop. - You most likely befriended him because he is one of the chill people in the group... Somewhat. Or perhaps you just started to bond over mutual love for steamy, erotic novels from the same author. If this man has shame, his guilty pleasures would be reading these types of trashy novels filled with smut. - He is great as a wingman. Complain to him about your lack of a love life, he'll observe your types and he'll somehow come up with a list by the next day enthusiastically listing them to you in a PowerPoint presentation. "If you're into girls, I have this one right here! She's compatible with your zodiac sign, although she has quite the temper she can be extremely passionate and affectionate— or perhaps you're into men, that I have as well. Several, actually. This other fellow right here is also a part of Passione from the Human trafficking branch, stoic and quite a stern one, but knows when to lay low at times and appreciate those around him— either him or the girl, you'd make good babies together!" "Melone, what the fuck—" - Very touchy. He'd lean his head on your lap as you both read on the couch, or randomly put his head on your shoulder during meetings, grab you by the arm while crossing the road, smacking your ass as a greeting (if you tell him stop, he'd stop of course), will pretend to kiss you just so he can see your reaction, anything. He is one affectionate nut that he sometimes forget about personal spaces. If you're not particularly fond of being touched like I am, simply tell him nope. I mean, he'd be sad but will respect your boundaries. The only time he'll actually respect established boundaries, to be honest. - Knows the most random facts and will share them to you for the fun of it. Additional to that, he will also mutter his shower thoughts and random cursed facts out loud just so he can curse you with the knowledge and confusion. "Did you know that dolphins masturbate using dead fishes? Also, there was an experiment involving dolphins in which one of the scientist fell in love and had sex with it. Another fact, is that dolphins are also seen doing the deed—" "Okay, Melone, I get it! Dolphins aren't as innocent as they seem! Stop ruining it for me already!" ... "Did you know that a woman once used mayonnaise as a lubri—" "MELONE!" - Being his friends meaning being his impulse control. If he intends to use his Stand on some innocent passerby just for the heck of it (for science, as he claims), smack him by the wrist and glare at him. If he eyes a particular someone for too long that the person gets too uncomfortable, try to divert his attention away. "Ow! Y/N what the heck—!" "What did I told you about oogling at people? It's impolite and creepy, stop that!" - He may not seem like it, but bro he cares a lot. If ever you had a problem, he'd sit and listen, offer you his shoulder to cry on, and perhaps hang out to divert your attention away from what's bothering and hurting you. And if you need advice, he'll try his best to come up with a flawless solution to your problems. But if comfort is what you need, his arms are open baby. Ghiaccio

- Bro you must need emergency ear plugs for this one, he is a massive screamer, a ticking time bomb with no timer that will erupt at random. If ear plugs aren't enough, cover your ears. - Befriending him was an impulse control befriending him. Well, all you did was to constantly try to calm his tits and cool his head to the point he actually barges in your room to hang out so that he can cool his head from all of the shenanigans occuring all around him, or maybe he just had another thought about something maddening about the world. "WELL WHY?! WHY IS WOMEN'S CLOTHES SIZING CHART DIFFER FROM EACH STORE?! THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE! INCHES AND CENTIMETRES EXISTS FOR A REASON, DAMNIT!" - There are moments where he isn't screaming, thankfully and he's a decent person to talk to. If you're a listener, he'll do the talking, just ranting about things, rambling on and on, before complaining, and then another outbursts comes out. By this, you simply sigh, put a hand on his shoulder and talk to him in a gentle, calming voice. It usually does the trick. Formaggio and Melone joked about this talent of yours as witchcraft. - He appreciates you a lot and honestly doesn't know what to do without you and by that, he knows he has to reciprocate the care you give him somehow to show he is grateful of your friendship and care. He isn't the type to be physically affectionate, but he is extremely thoughtful about his closed loved onesa and prefers to be practical about it. He would save you your seat in meetings, fetch you snacks if he ran out for an errand, etc etc. Extremely observant of your mannerisms, that he might point that out to you and you won't even realise you do that. - So like, he is very protective as a friend. He will do something whenever someone has wronged you in any way. The others teasing you? Bam, he'll shoot them back with a witty insult. Your s/o cheated on you? Ohohoho boi, be prepared to see their name on a headline on the daily news. Your order was wrong? Bam, he'll have the waiter shaking in fear from a screaming, angry Italian mafioso as he demands for them to remake your order correctly. "WELL CAGACAZZO?! QUIT STANDING AROUND AND GET ORDERS CORRECTLY—" "G-Ghiaccio it's just a minor thing, let it go—" "THEY SERVED YOU AN INGREDIENT YOU SPECIFICALLY TOLD THEM NOT TO INCLUDE BECAUSE YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO IT! WHY ARE YOU LETTING THIS SLIDE OFF?!" - All in all, he's just glad you're there for him because damn, someday his temper is going to get the best of him and he doesn't know what to do. And with your friendship, he's learned how to cope with his spontaneous anger by carrying soothing stuff to ease his nerves (courtesy of your suggestions and gifts for him) - Basically the dynamic of a rapid gremlin with rabies and a calm, sunshine personified angel. Everyone (Riz, including, but he's more subtle and dry about it) joked about the unlikely friendship, and how your ears must've lost a little bit of hearing capacity. Rissoto - I feel like he'd be extremely attached to a childhood friend. You've been friends since before you underwent the drastic change by going through a lot to get to where he is now, and still the only person that stuck around with him was you. By that, you became the most trusted by him due to the fact you've known each other for very long. - As his best friend, you're his confidant and finds himself often going to you if ever he needed advice, or needed to vent about his stress. He really isn't vocal but when he's confiding in you, his words spill out of his mouth usually sealed tightly just steadily flows, his big strong Capo veneer falls apart in front of you but he doesn't necessarily feel unsafe by being vulnerable. That's how he trusts you. - No one will dare to bad mouth you in front of the Capo, or else there'd be hell to pay for. I mean, teasing is fine, he knows you can handle burns from team mates here and there (and will silently smirk at it) but he will not stand it if they attempt to belittle you for something unreasonable. "Watch your mouth. That was

out of their control, stop blaming them for something they can't do." - The type of friend that doesn't know how to comfort someone, but will try their best. So as you spill your heart out, tears, snot, sweat and all, he'll just pull you to his chest and awkwardly pat your shoulders to get you calm and comforted. Not to mention, he is extremely stiff at the hug and is very unsure what words to say to you to not upset or offend you any further, so he'll just ride it out smoothly, and let you let it all out on his chest. It's not like he can't wash your tears, snot and sweat on his chest anyways. - Since he is very non-vocal, he's a good listener so rant all the way! Complain about the weather, about your lack of love life, about how underpaid the hitmen team is, anything! He won't find the perfect response, so he'll just nod along and perhaps comment occasionally on what your saying. "So like, ugh, I am soooo frustrated at how Prosciutto could say that to Pesci! He makes a good point, but it's redundant for him to be too harsh on him! Look, all I'm saying is, maybe Prosciutto should start choosing his words correctly so that Pesci won't feel too upset! You know???" You glanced at your friend, as he simply sat attentively beside you. He nods silently as a response. "Anyways—" - Extremely great at deduction and the way he reads people so easily is so unreal. And so he uses this to his advantage to know what's up with you whenever you seemed off. By this, he's able to tell whenever you're upset but scared to talk about it, frustrated but too busy to talk about, etc etc. And with this, he takes the time to drag you to take a seat, and talk about what's been bothering you. If you don't wish to talk about it at all, he'll let you be after with a reassurance that you can overcome whatever the heck you're going through. - Everyone is surprised that you two aren't married??? That you're just friends??? The way you two look just makes you two look like a couple and it boggles the others how you two aren't one.

#la squadra x reader #platonic #jjba part 5 #jojo golden wind #formaggio x reader #prosciutto x reader #pesci x reader #illuso x reader #melone x reader #ghiaccio x reader #risotto x reader #headcanons #friendship #x reader

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kavikaslana · 3 years ago

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Can I please request for LoV content though this time the reader isn’t anyone’s s/o per say, just like everyone’s mama in a sense, always being the one who care for them and give them love, big spooning, cuddle, help them with various stuff. And because they are ‘LoV mama’ they are quiet dominant and everyone listens to them and respect them. Can I get headcannons for LoV interactions with her? And if possible for another post a sequel of how they will react when they found out that she has a lover who basically babies her and she likes it too. How will they react? Will they treat her differently? Jealous? Thank you so much!!!!! 💕💕💕💕

Awwwww 🥺 just let me know if you want me to tag you whenever I do the other post ❤️ it got really laggy before I could add more so… :’)

Just some small stuff, I’ll do like one shots and the other thing in another post or two if you want me to tag you or somethin lol

Part 2

Kurogiri

Lemme tell you right now, he is absolutely relieved because now he’s got someone else to “babysit” the league

He finally feels comfortable enough to have a day just to himself

^ He’s just happy he doesn’t have to constantly worry about Dabi burning down their base, or Shigaraki turning Toga to dust

He’s kind of like a kid in a way

^ Like he’s looking for praise in a way, but not really

Encourage him when he’s doing a good job

Let him vent when a certain brat pisses him off

And PLEASE help him discipline said brat

^ He will literally beg you, just do it please

He definitely appreciates you the most out of everyone

He likes getting a pat on the back when he’s doing a good job, or even just having a drink with you when “handjob” is finally asleep I had to I’m sorry I love that nickname so much

You’ve got either really insulting nicknames or really sweet ones for everyone in the league, but you guys only use them when it’s just you two

You guys randomly get Magne pride stuff, like the transgender flag or those pins you find everywhere during pride month

^ Sometimes Toga too

^ And you if you’re part of it, but he goes without you if it’s for you, because then it wouldn’t be a surprise

He likes head pats but that’s all he’s comfortable with

Shigaraki

Ok, he’s definitely a bitch to you too

^ at first at least

In general, he didn’t really like people and his tolerance for everyone was pretty low for a long time

The only people he interacted with were the same few people, and they basically spoiled and groomed him, so it takes him the longest to warm up to you

He doesn’t like being told no, so expect him to act like a toddler when you tell him he can’t do something

He does kind of like having another decent parental figure even though in his head afo’s a good dad

He might invite you to go with him to GameStop or something like that

^ Or maybe just to grab a quick snack from a ramen shop or something along the lines of that

He’s somewhere between a moody teenager and a four year old, just remember that

Please don’t get mad at him, he feels bad after an hour or two

^ Kurogiri has to make him apologize for whatever he did though because he’s too stubborn to do it himself

He lets you pick out one of his good controllers and headsets so you can play with him in your own room, or with him, he doesn’t mind

Once he’s fully comfortable with you, he’s clingy as hell

Always asks for hugs or head scratches, most likely both

He tries his best not to snap at you like he does with everyone else, and he probably has the most patience with you

He doesn’t really cuddle with you since it’d be a little weird if you guys aren’t dating, but he does hug you from behind every once in a while

Likes to be close to you in general

He likes when you take care of his scars and wounds for him, or when you get him to stop scratching his neck

^ Cause it shows you care, and he doesn’t really think anyone really does except for Kurogiri and AFO

Probably the touchiest one

Expect to be giving him some form of attention every second, whether it’s talking to him or just holding his wrist

Probably the one that enforces your rules honestly (if you have any)

Basically he’s a simp, but like the platonic kind of simp

Dabi

Dabi’s a bit like Shigaraki

It does take him a bit to open up, but only about half the amount of time it takes Shigaraki to

He does feel bad when you get mad, and it takes him about the same amount of time to feel guilty

He definitely invites you to go places with him, but it’s usually a bar or a good spot to commit arson

He’s basically a moody teenager, that’s it, so he’s at least manageable

Sometimes he goes with you to get snacks or drinks (soft drinks basically), but if he does, expect to be the one paying

Might give you a cigarette every once in a while if you smoke, and he always offers to light it for you

He definitely likes to vent to you about his day, or how Shigaraki’s been bugging him more than usual

^ It’s mainly because you’re the only one that listens though mainly

^ He still appreciates it though, don’t get it wrong

One of his favorite pastimes is to walk around the city at night with you and maybe Kurogiri

He’s not very touchy in general, so don’t expect anything more than a pat on the back

Sometimes though, if you want a hug or something he’ll let you get one from him

He’s still not touchy at all, so don’t ask for very much

^ Lemme put it this way, expect more from pretty much everyone else except him

Spinner

He always runs to you about Dabi picking on him for his quirk when Kurogiri’s not around

Sometimes he asks you to play a game with him, but not very often

^ Even Shigaraki probably asks more than Spinner does

He’s pretty quiet with you most of the time, and he won’t usually talk to you unless you start a conversation

^ Basically he only talks to you when he needs to

He’s not exactly the kind of guy that’ll go out for food with you since his quirk makes him pretty easy to spot, but he does offer to help cook every once in a while

He likes to show you his collection of knockoff stain clothing

He has made efforts to try to get to know you more, but he’s a little shy

Get him Stain merch and you’ll automatically be his favorite out of everyone in the league

^ Shigaraki might kill you though, just a heads up

Don’t touch him unless you’re treating his wounds, he’s worse than Dabi is

Magne

She loves going out with you and Toga

^ Could be for food, or maybe clothes shopping, hell, even just a walk

^ She just likes spending time with you, but yes, it is preferred if Toga and Twice could come along

She’s gotta be the sweetest person out of the whole league

She’s probably called you her sibling a few times just so you know her opinion on you

You’ve got at least a few matching shirts and jackets with her and Toga

She probably offers to help you around the base more than anyone (except kurogiri)

You’re definitely in the top 3 favorites

She likes to do skincare routines with Toga, Twice, and you

Definitely paints her nails and asks you how it looks first

She’s totally onboard with you sitting in her lap, but it’s just for hugs, don’t get it mixed up

She’s probably one of the touchiest people out of the league

^ Not nearly as much as Shig, but she’s probably third

Toga

You’re a sibling too, 100%

She asks you to sharpen and clean her knives daily, but she always repays the favor by helping you cook or by cleaning 2-3 rooms

She’s given you one of her favorite knives to keep for your birthday, or just any special event of yours

She always asks you to put her hair up for her, and if your hair is long enough, she asks if she can do your hair

She’s really picky about anything she gets you, and she always pays attention to the smallest details in everything she gives you

She’s given you quite a lot of jewelry she stole from corpses, whether you wear it or not

^ You can sell it too, and she’s fine with it, just tell her thank you first though

She always wants to watch you cook and she’s even tried to make your favorite food once or twice with Kurogiri and Magne

She asks you to paint her nails for her, even if you’re not good at it, since one hand always turns out better than the other

Face masks and cleansers are a must, she prefers if you do more skincare stuff with her, but that’s the bare minimum

Definitely has a picture of you, Magne, her, and Twice as the wallpaper on her phone

She’s somewhat touchy, she’s all for hugs and maybe hand holding every once in a while

^ That’s it though

Twice

He likes to smoke with you (if you do)

^ If you don’t, he still likes to talk to you when he does

He’s really interested in your hobbies and what you like to do

He’s comfortable with taking off his mask fully when it’s just you two and no one else

He thinks your laugh is cute in the same way a puppy’s cute

He likes being cared for by you, and you’re always going to be in his top 3

His all-time favorite thing about you is just the simple fact that you accept him for who he is, flaws and all

He comes to you for head pats at least four times a day, and he likes holding your hand because it makes him feel safe and secure

He loves how gentle you are with him, and how you try your best to understand him

^ He does feel extremely bad when he involuntarily insults you

^ Tell him you know he didn’t mean it and that you still like him please

He loves cuddles, but only when he’s tired

^ It’s usually just him laying his head on your shoulder though

Again, having you around in general makes him feel safe

So after a long day of fighting heroes, he just wants to sit with you until he falls asleep

Compress

He basically the only other person besides Kurogiri that doesn’t have the mindset of a 15 year old or younger

It’s nice that he’s got someone other than Kurogiri to talk to now

He offers to help with chores the most

Likes to entertain you with magic tricks, and he always shows you his newest tricks first

^ Please tell him he did a good job and that it was convincing

He knows a good deal about you, like your favorite food and your favorite spot in the city

Sometimes he goes on walks with you when the tension after a mission dies down

He takes you out for food once or twice a week, and for a snack run every other week

^ He always gets a lot of stuff though, so it’s ok

He’s always the first to notice anything about you, like a new haircut or a new shirt

^ He’s always the first to compliment you on it too

On a scale of 1-10, he’s probably a 3 as far as being touchy goes

He appreciates praise and maybe pats on the back, but he doesn’t really care much about themselves

He doesn’t really actively seek your attention like Shigaraki does, but he doesn’t complain when he gets it

#tomura shigaraki #shigaraki #kurogiri #mr compress #league of villains #himiko toga #twice mha #jin bubaigawara #magne bnha #spinner bnha

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