#at right about 5pm my time oops

[sheerioswifties]

abbréviation: N P P U J D M

- every letter is useful

- do not tell anyone if you figure out the rules or you will be eliminated

- use the tag "ftp3" and mention me

- you have 18 hours

- check my blog from time to time for clues!

- bad luck

I'm gonna post this for if anyone wants to try and solve it just for funsies. I won't be able to I've got A Lot Going On At The Moment including a pretty wicked migraine so I can't brain especially not French brain so I'll let everyone else who loves riddles have a go at it hope that's okay!

P.S. "bad luck" ftp anon how rude! Nah jk I love it I thrive on this kind of chaotic energy

[srjlvr]

,, Babysitting With A Stranger ‘‘

PAIRING . . . babysitter!Riki X babysitter!gnReader

GENRE . . . fluff , crack !

WC . . . 1.9k+ !

SYNOPSIS . . . oops! there was a mistake with your babysitter and now you’re stuck with another babysitter…how are you going to survive?

WARNINGS . . . mention of children (again im sorry TT) , mentions of food!

“so i’ll come around 5pm tomorrow” you held your phone close to your ear, waiting for an answer, “that’ll be great, thank you!” on the line was the mother of the children you’re about to babysit the other day.

“gladly, i’ll see you tomorrow!” you happily replied and hanged up.

it’s your fourth babysitting for this week so far, ever since you heard your favorite group is going on a tour, you’ve been determined to collect enough money to buy a ticket.

“i’ve got another one for tomorrow!” you said to your mom and she pat your head, “im proud of you for starting to work your ass off”

you woke up happily the other day, going to school as usual and rejecting any plans for the afternoon.

“let’s go karaoke today!! i feel like losing my voice today” your best friend requested. “sorry, can’t today, im babysitting” you replied.

“again? it’s like your fifth time this week” “fourth to be exact, but what can i do? i gotta get that ticket” you shrugged as she rolled her eyes.

school ended up faster than you expected, and it was already time for you to get mentally prepared for at least seven hours with two children.

you arrived at the house and knocked at the door, “Y/N? come in!” you heard the mother’s voice calling you in.

you opened the door and saw the mother sitting with her children on the ground, playing with them. “meet minho and minji!” she said and the kids cutely waved at you as you smiled at them.

“it’s nice to meet you! how old are you?” you asked them, “we’re six years old” they both answered, “i was born before you though” minji teased, “only by one minute!” minho said annoyingly.

“i think we’re about to enjoy the rest of the evening together!” you said excitedly.

“i will be back around 12am, of course i will be paying you as soon as i get back” the mother smiled and you nodded, “don’t worry, have fu-“ you were about to continue but a knock on the door interrupted you.

“that’s weird, i don’t expect anyone else” the parent said and opened the door.

“hello! i’m riki,” he said, “we’ve talked on the phone three days ago and we agreed i’ll babysit the kids today until 12am”

you stood there in shock as the mother froze, “oh i’m so sorry! i forgot i talked with you on the phone and i called y/n as well oh my god this is such a mess i don’t know what to say” she held her head down.

“it’s okay ma’am! i can go back and-“ you were about to continue but she cut you off, “no no! i’m sure you two had a long way here,” she sighed, “it’s a bit weird of me to request but, is it okay if you babysit together? i’ll pay you even double as an apology”

“it’s okay really-“ “please, let me do it” she pleaded.

you and riki both sighed and nodded, “great, thank you so much!” she smiled, “i really got to go now, thank you again”

before she closed the door she looked at her kids and blowed a kiss, “bye angels, i’ll give you a kiss when i get back!”

riki got inside the house as the kids’ mother left. “so umm, i’m riki” he introduced himself, “yeah i heard your introduction from before” you awkwardly replied.

“uhhh so um” he awkwardly coughed a bit and you zoned out, “right, um im-“ “y/n, i also heard her saying your name before” he chuckled and you nodded.

“can you two stop being so awkward and play with us?” the two kids, who were watching you two standing there like the other furnitures they have at home, dragged you and riki into their bedroom.

“that is where i sleep and that’s where minji sleeps” they both pointed at their beds and you both nodded.

“minji let’s take them to our play room” minho added and minji nodded.

“let’s pick one game and play!” they said and you all sat down to discuss which game you’re going to play.

“i say we should try monopoly! we can team up and play two against two” you suggested and they all nodded.

“then i want y/n in my team” minho said. “not fair! i wanted y/n to be in my team!” minji angrily scoffed, “but i said it first!” minho teased.

“i’m here too, hello hi” riki waved at minji, “i’m good at this game, i promise we’re going to win” he opened his arms for minji to hug him. minji looked at him weirdly but as she saw that he was not going to give up, she went up and hugged him, “you better be good at this game” she said, almost sounding like a threat.

“then let’s start to play!” you rolled the dice and the game started.

“we don’t have any money left!” riki finally called out after a long game, “the bank cant give you more money than you already took, sorry” you replied teasingly, “which means we win!” you high-fived minho and you both hugged each other.

“‘im good at this game’ you said” minji glared at riki, mimicking him from before, “i didn’t know they’re going to make a good team” he whispered back.

“look at the time! it’s already 8pm!! your mother told me you need to go sleep around 8:30pm” you said.

“did you shower yet?” riki asked and the kids nodded, “have you eaten anything?” you asked and the kids shook their heads.

“let’s make some dinner!” you and riki both said and went to the kitchen.

“their mother told me they usually eat scrambled eggs and a salad before they go to sleep, let’s just do that” you smiled at riki, “i’ll make the salad” he replied.

after something like fifteen minutes, you sat the kids down at the table, and served them the food you made, “eat well, don’t fall asleep on the food” riki smiled at the kids as you both watched them starting to eat.

after a few minor fights and jokes, the kids finally finished eating and it was time to put them into sleep.

“good night!” you and riki said. “riki! can you read us cinderella?” minho requested before you could close the door. you and riki shared a few seconds of and awkward eye contact until he broke it with a sigh, “of course!”

as riki got back inside their room, you started cleaning the kitchen from all the mess they created.

riki got out of the room just when you finished your cleaning, then you both flopped on the big sofa. “it’s been a tiring day” you said. “yeah” he shortly replied and it went back to silence.

“so,” riki started talking, “why did you start babysitting?”

“it might sound funny, but i’m actually collecting money to buy a ticket for a concert of my favorite group” you replied, “how about you?”

“the same reason as you actually” you then popped your head up to see his face to look if he’s serious or not, “what group are you planning to go to?” he added.

“wait let’s say the name on the same time” you both sat up and looked deeply into each other.

“one”

“two”

“three”

“(name of your fav group)!” you both said at the same time. “no way” you said.

“you know them?” he replied shockingly, “they’re like my favorite group”

“you’re lying” you said jokingly, “how much money did you save so far?”

“i have around 200$” he replied, “no way me too!” you cheered.

“what should we do while the kids are sleeping?” he asked and you smirked, “i think you know what i’m about to say”

you both spent a whole hour playing your favorite group’s songs and dancing like there’s no tomorrow. even though he was a complete stranger a few hours ago, you felt the most comfortable around him than you’ve ever felt, and it was the exact same feeling for him.

after a tiring dancing session, you and riki flopped on the sofa again, breathing heavily, trying to catch your breath. “i’m kinda hungry” you said and riki nodded in agreement.

as soon as you said that, riki got a notification, he opened his phone and read the text, “i left you and y/n some extra money if you’d like to buy yourself something to eat :) these kids are tiring so i bet you two are hungry”

“is that…” “the kid’s mom? yeah”

“damn those rich people” you both said at the same time and giggled. you decided to order pizza, it wasn’t too expensive but it’s more than enough for you both.

“y/n look! they have nintendo!” riki pointed out, “are you sure we should play in it? i dont want to touch anything that isn’t ours” you replied.

just then, riki got another notification, “p.s, dont be afraid to touch anything around the house, i know how boring it can be when the kids are sleeping ;)”

“she’s so nice i want her to adopt me” you said. “let’s play mario cart, im not better than you in monopoly, but i bet i can win in mario cart” riki said teasingly.

you nodded and grabbed the remotes, “let the games begin” you gave one of the remotes to riki and you started playing.

“so now we’re even” riki smirked, after something like five rounds, you realized you’re not going to win over him and gave up super fast. “yeah yeah i guess so, next time i’m gonna win though!”

“you think there will be next time…?” he asked. “uh well-“ you were about to continue until you heard a sound of keys outside of the door. you and riki turned off the tv and waited for the person to come in.

“hello!” the mother appeared behind the door with a huge smile on her face. “hey!” you and riki greeted her back.

“i’m so sorry again for the huge mistake! how was babysitting my little angels?” she asked, “it was great, we enjoyed doing it together as well” you both said, “your kids are the cutest!” you added.

“thank you! here’s the promised money” she held out the money for you two and you took it. “thank you so much! hope you have a wonderful night!” you and riki bid goodbye to the lady.

“that was fun” you said as you walked out of the door with riki. “it was” he replied, smiling.

“so i was thinking,” you both said at the same time, “you first” you said.

“um so i was thinking,” he said and stopped for a second to take a deep breath, “maybe i’ll be able to get your number and we could go to the concert together?” he asked, “consider it as a first date” he added.

“i would love to” you smiled at him and handed him your phone.

he put his number in your phone and gave it back to you, “hopefully i’ll get to babysit with you again,” he chuckled, “before the concert i mean”

you nodded and smiled, “that would be nice”

as you both exit the building, each one of you had to go to the other side, but not before you gave each other a short hug.

“i’ll contact you as soon as i get home” you said and he nodded. as soon as you let go from the hug, you gave him a peck on his cheek and ran away, leaving him all blushing.

you smiled to yourself, who would’ve thought that babysitting with a stranger wouldn’t be so bad after all?

© srjlvr , pls don’t copy/translate any of my works without permission ! | reblogs and comments are very appreciated !

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔹𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ not a request

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Happy Birthday to my favorite ever artist!!

Almost forgot to post it oops

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

Affiliation with @virtualbookstore

Ena was actually often tired... you could see she sacrificed some of her sleep just to go on a date with you every now and then... since she had night classes, she had to sleep during the day, and when you both had a date during the afternoon, the coffee was usually the only thing holding her up...

So! When the end of April came, you decided it's perfect time to do something for Ena instead! This time, you asked her for a birthday date after 16:00/4pm, so she could get some good sleep and so you also can have some time to prepare everything!

Your idea was simple, in the past weeks you noticed how she took a like of some looks of the cakes... and what better gift than mix that style wirus a cheesecake?

Luckily, it wasn't something that could not go well! Just few strawberries in shape of butterflies, flowers and... well this might actually be hard to make... but you were still determined to do that since it was your girlfriend's birthday after all!!

So you got up at the time your girlfriend most likely fell asleep and vegan your work! You had the basics done, so now you only had the hardest part left... those damn strawberries and icing for the cheesecake! And you know she went to sleep because she texted you goodnight message!

Using all the time you had, you made sure to make it the best cheesecake you could! Luckily, you bought way too much strawberries so you'll most likely be sick of them by tomorrow but at least you made some pretty looking flowers and even few simpler butterflies! You made sure it'll sit on the cheesecake no matter what, using icing to some use. And after you were done with that, you just took your packaging out, finally putting your pastry there. But~ of course packaging was also nicely decorated! It's Ena we're talking about here after all! Of course aesthetic packaging was needed for her gift!

As reward for all the hard work you did, you decided to finally lay back and take a sweet little nap~ You woke up rather early and you still had few hours before your date... so might as well!

But... your plan of few hour nap turned to last a bit longer than you expected... most likely because of overworking or lack of sleep? But you were woken up by a doorbell and constant knocking on your door. You looked out of the window and noticed it was dark... so you naturally grabbed your phone to see the hour! 17:00/5pm... and 27 unread messages from Ena, and 6 missed calls from Ena as well... she must be pissed now...

So you immidietly rushed to your door hoping you can explain everything, as you knew very well who it is.

"Seriously? You told me yourself to go to bed earlier so I won't oversleep, and yet you did that yourself?"

"Sorry I- Just come in and let me show you something!"

You didn't to waste any more time so you moves so she can enter and rushed to kitchen, gently grabbing your gift. And with big breath you came back to her, reaching your little package out to her.

"Happy Birthday... I hope I didn't ruin them for you..."

"Oh- so that's what you were doing!? Well that explains it~ Thank you then! And don't worry, we can still go have that little picnic of ours! We might just take a nap you know? I already told Nightcord I won't be available today!"

You just smiled, relieved that it was in fact not a lost day and you messed up everything... you still had a chance to fix everything!

"I'm so glad~ Well then... let's make this unforgettable birthday, shall we?"

"Took out words right out of my mouth~"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @prsk-krow @modyuki @virtualpoison @qxmmi - come get your cheesecake lover~

[elizabethplaid]

Tired after a long day - April 23, 2024

Woke to morning greetings around 7ish, then fell back asleep before 9. Had specifically set my alarm to 10:30. Snoozed a few times but did wake. But then, I was having anxiety shakes - specifically, the kind that are like my muscles seizing involuntarily, like doing stomach crunches. Did my best to breathe and talk myself through it. Sometime after noon, I was able to get out of bed. (Moscow helped a bit, too. I fought harder against the shaking, so I wouldn't squish her.)

Lots lots lots of talking myself through each step. I got through it all okay, but it felt so rough. More play-by-play commentary below the cut.

Took meds at home; got food at the gas station; was right on-time. Breakfast-lunch was decent, though not ideal: cinnamon bun-twist and a blueberry scone, plus a bottle of Dunkin iced coffee and my usual soda.

Put on this video of ADHD music (uses isochronic tones) as soon as I started up my computer. It's a strong but soothing rhythm, without being too harsh. Very good for regulating myself, setting a steady pace.

I had Since (my bear) and my Woolrich sweater with me, so I spent a lot of the day just hugging her and trying to resist doing stomach crunches. (It's very rare that I do those while not in bed, if I get them at all.)

The fluorescent lights were harsh on my eyes. After I was able to calm down, maybe after 2 hours-ish, I was okay to have my eyes open.

Managed some limited small-talk with some folks. LL-J is always easier to talk to, though she gave me space to calm myself. Nearly tripped on my laptop's power cord, as I got up to shelve some books, oops.

LL-J went home not long after 4, and I said I'd be good til closing (6pm). Well, I made it to just before 5pm, and my body said it wanted me to go home, like I said earlier. (I don't like being in the bathroom for a long time if there's no one else in the library/building.)

Got home and got settled. Had to lay down after, because I felt so unnerved and tired from earlier in the day. Texted a couple friends to tell them what happened. Said I was getting my "socialization quota" (paraphrased) by checking in with them, which is true.

I kinda wanted to "brag" about how well I weathered the anxiety, though I wasn't ready to post to tumblr yet. I'll be bragging again tomorrow in counseling. I scheduled -that- for a phone appointment even before I left the house! Woo! LL-J joked about giving me a gold star sticker for my accomplishments, but I really did feel good about weathering it all today. It's still tough to appreciate it when you're -right- in the middle of things, though.

So yeah, laid in bed for a couple hours, mostly reading alien romance novels. Finished one and started another (the 3rd and 4th in the series). I love how each book focuses on a different couple that is aboard this space ship. So they all know one another and interact with each other. The ML of the 4th book was a close friend of the FLs in the 2nd and 3rd books (sisters), and now we get to see him shine. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, that they're interconnected but not completely blood-related.

[I don't know if there's an over-arching title for the series, but it's by Nancey Cummings, on the Readict app. The titles are Paax (1), Kalen (2), Mylomon (3), and Vox (4). I think #5 goes back to Paax, and then there's 5 other dudes' stories. They're usually about 20-25 chapters. The stories are set in war, with the continuous themes of medical experiments, eugenics, and human-alien... *ahem* "relations". Vox is my fav so far, because he's an otaku for human culture and very friendly.]

[yanalanettebby]

To lay the foundation I’d love to present my foundation piece of me

I.F.T.B; I Felt This Before (Poetry Ep)

Following Me (Poem 1)

Wow

Let me recover

Let me get this right

You don’t know me but your following me

Following me like I have millions

Following me like I have paid the way for you and whoever else

But in all reality instead of following me

Just follow my lead

But see I have to ask myself how can I ask you to follow my lead

When seriously I can’t even follow my own state of mind

But that’s just the selfish act on my claim

But you and me are just showing up in real time

But to be honest with you I know this isn’t the first time of introduction

Showing Up (Poem 2)

Wassup babe I’m here

Yeah your here now

But where the fuck were you

See I can’t get with all this momma called

My sister needed a sitter

My cousin needed advice

I was out with the boys shit

Fuck that

How are you just here for

when I call in the meantime

When you want some pussy

When you tryna get ya rocks off

When your main bitch on ha crazy shit again

Or when your momma

Oop let me not

Cause I see by your face im taking it to far

But how far are you willing to go for me

Cause I see now you’re just here

Showing up to

Claim what isn’t yours

So FUCK YOU NIGGA

But on the other hand

Thank you babe for showing up

Claim (Poem 3)

This is slightly embarrassing to talk about outloud

but when I love someone I love hard

even at first

but I need that love reciprocated

I need that sense of Claiming

I need that sense of I can’t loose you

I need that sense of claiming me as your own

I really refuse to let you go

See that’s how deep it is for me

Cause see god took the rib from Adam to make eve

but see god didn’t take the rib from you to make me

cause to the world we aren’t meant to be together

but as we are together We look beyond that

and make both of our ribs one and whole

That’s how deep our love is and honestly

Loving you is in my bones

You&Me (Poem 4)

Hmmph

This is an area of interest

But locked away in the depths of

What I hope to be real

But what I want to be real can’t happen

When I want it to

That’s the harsh reality

But I pray to gain a sense of self love

A sense of confidence

A sense of belonging in one’s arms

A sense that Cupid is on my side for once

And that I don’t have to worry about him not just wanting me for one thing

When in reality

In fucking reality

I find myself being the one

Stopping you

To reach me

Cause see we can’t even be In Touch

Cause I’m not even in touch with self

I lack in my home depo

While you shop in your

Forever 21

But why can’t we just create

Double C’s

Of love we

We’re made to have

See we were made for each other

Tho the world may perceive it as

Oh that ain’t gone work

They don’t even look right together

But you see me as well as I see you

And all we have is

You & Me

Selfish 5:00pm (poem 5)

Threw away your love letters

Sounding off

As 5pm creeped up

Already knowing what happens next when you pull up saying

Come outside

I’m outside

Can you hurry up

But I don’t get a hey

How you doing

How was your day

Just a come outside

Ooouu I just see you don’t know what love is

But lemme guess

You wasn’t raised in a affectionate home

But how be so

Sub tweeted

Like how can you be

Effectively unapproachable

Like how can you be so

Lack lustre

But let me guess as well

Following me again huh

Just so

Insubstantial

Accurately

Self defined

But I know

Honestly

Selfish

Just selfish enough to forget about me

Just selfish enough to care about what I think

Fuck my mental

Fuck my emotions

Fuck my physicality

You don’t know what love is

But I really need you to know

You don’t know what love is

Cause your just

Selfish

I Felt This Before (Poem 6)

Familiar

Particularly recognizable

The same to me

I can’t quiet shake

This feeling

It’s almost like butterflies in my stomach

But rather my stomach but my

Entire wellbeing

Superstitious of the moment

Cryptic to the state of mind

I don’t know what to call it

Like making my movement in time

Triggering to the memories of the garden

Connecting everything like a harmonic symphony

With every emotion there is to list

My mind tends to thrive in chaos but

This is the kind of chaos that is almost like

Deja Vu

Which I can’t control

Cause it makes its appearance

Like a thief in the night

You’d almost think it was my dreams coming to reality

It’s so undeniable

Only real is surrounding

But what I do know

I Felt This Before

[thessalian]

Thess vs Work Ethic

Sometimes I just really wish I didn’t have the work ethic I do.

See, while I appreciate that almost every working person in the world, myself included, is overworked and underpaid, and should therefore not be giving any more than what one’s job description details as one’s responsibility in the office, here’s the thing - one should give no more than one’s job description ... but no less, either. And the job is simple, in this case. There are reports. We type them.

The job description on their contracts might be different, but mine didn’t say a damn thing about “but only when the manager’s not in the office, at which point you can slack off all you want because there’s no one to reprimand you”.

Yeah, Scruffman was at another site that was hella backlogged and having some understaffing issues today. Thank the gods he’s back in the office tomorrow because they cleared the other site’s backlog faster than expected. I can take or leave him as a person, but I’m not in the office anyway. The only reason I’m glad is because of what I went through today, which was basically being the only one spending the majority of the workday actually working. I mean, yes, we’re not doing as badly with the typing queue as we had been. Hell, it hit mid double figures today! And I kind of want to keep it that way, but apparently the other girls don’t agree because things ground to a standstill mid-afternoon. That whole thing where Violet does the long complicated dictations doesn’t really happen when Violet isn’t typing at all, or is doing so at such a slow pace that she might as well not be. Temp stopped working almost entirely around 4pm, and I got the reason for that right up in my face when I went to get a last couple of things with seven minutes on the clock: she’d picked up one four-ish minute dictation, apparently to show willing, then dawdled over the shorter ones she’d picked up and left that longer one for last so that when her time in the office was ... well, almost up (I think she also works until 5:30), she dumped that one four-ish minute one back in the queue and left. If I had time to type it (and I did), so the fuck did she. But nope. Just “Oops, almost out of time, back in the queue it goes...”

So the queue’s going to be back in the 150s, probably, by the time people turn up at the office tomorrow. I was actually trying to work at a moderate pace for once because I know I’ve been dancing on the precipice of epic burnout (because, you know, the disability that comes with chronic pain and fatigue?), but by mid-afternoon I was back at breakneck pace and doing the long ones that nobody else seemed keen to touch on top of everything else. I mean, it could have been worse, but everybody knows that the techs crank to high gear after 5pm; the decks should be as clear as possible before then. And nobody should require the manager’s presence to do some fucking work once in awhile. If I can do it from home, with all the temptations of faff to distract me, they can do it in the office.

It’s people like them who lend those stupid articles about how much better working in the office is for productivity any kind of weight whatsoever, you know. Though it’d be entirely the reverse in my case either way; not only does not having to commute help me actually be able to work better, but when shit like this happens, I only fume about the work not being done instead of fuming over the work not being done and grinding my teeth in rage because I’m having to try to do my own work through the distraction of their chatter.

(To some people, noise is noise is noise. I cannot explain to those people the difference between chosen background noise, like music, and not-chosen background noise, for instance chattering colleagues - or, here at home, construction work going on nearby and the neighbour’s kids using the corridor as their personal playground. Again. It’s a beautiful day and there’s a lawn right out back, and they’re using our hallway, with its grubby carpet, as a place to play. I DO NOT GET IT. Anyway.)

So here’s me being grumpy and fed right the fuck up. Huzzah. I will veg a little, take my meds, and gear myself up for the preparation of dinner. I don’t really want to cook but I want to get ahead of the curve on ready-to-eat meals, and also I did a lot of walking for some of those ingredients I got yesterday and am keen to enjoy them and not procrastinate on cooking until they’re kind of skanky.

[blocksruinedme]

22. describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

28. handwritten notes or typed notes?

44. any writing advice you want to share?

22) my writing process!

be living my life, possibly babysitting or driving (maybe talking about blorbos)

think "hey what if...."

become possessed

from there it splits Version A - the fastest, and rarest, one

A1. get to my couch (or a different laptop place, or a notebook if desperate)

A2. Frantically let words spill out of me, often wishing my fingers could keep up with my brain. It's sometimes almost painful, needing to get the words out

A3. edit for a variable amount of time an post

My first published mcyt was like this - watched ranchers in the crossover at 11am, ideas marinated all day, came up with "what if tango's the key to fix fwhimmy" walking to my car at 5pm, started writing like 5:15 and published at maybe 1am. almost 5k long. Insane. that was MY EX STOLE MY SOULMATE.. | Empires SMP S2 1.19 (rated T) and I'm told also With Their Knife to His Throat (rated M) but I legit have next to no memories of writing that one, I think it was 48 hours from idea to published (4k).

B - normal version. Note: all of this is interspersed with working on a lot of other stories

B1: Have an idea, probably frantically but maybe it builds

B2: Think about it a lot, maybe ideas in a little notebook if they are coming at the wrong times. 

B3: write down bits of prose as they come, do a lot of outline in gdocs. 

B4: start writing from the beginning based on outline but also what feels right - in any given moment, i know more about the story than i did when i wrote the outline

B5: if i’m lucky write chronologically and work through the outline and add things. Often a section isn’t coming and i skip ahead. If it’s not happening, it’s not time for it to happen. To write the way I really want to, I need to know how it ends, so I can have the story build. 

B6: probably fuss a lot

B7: beg people for help and to tell me it’s okay to publish

B8: stress a lot about if it’s good enough and about minor changes i could make

Optional: B9: put it down for 1-7 months (i just published a fic from january, and two of my bang fics are from september and november)

B10: publish it pretty much the same as it was in B8

(I deleted C by adding B9 but already wrote D)

D: Probably just the once

D1: See a prompt for driving after dark and get unexpectedly interested

D2: write 2k of notes while trying to get another story done

D3: Give myself 6 days to write those 2k of notes and then it’s 20k and my longest fic ever and oops needs a lot of typo fixes: The Key to His Problem (rated E)

The editing etc process:

 During every version of this I have a gdoc shared with people and am begging for advice. If i can’t decide on a word when i’m writing and have some flow going, i say “they were all [very] surprised” and leave a comment (or just the brackets) to come back later and fix it. THIS IS MUCH OF HOW I WRITE FAST. The first draft is to get out it out of my head, the second draft is to get it into the reader’s head. SOMETIMES the flow is perfect and i don’t need to do this, but like, idk, 10% of the time? 

A lot of the words in [brackets] will wind up staying as is, but it gives me permission to move on without feeling like i’ve settled. 

Editing sometimes involves a lot of of editing passes, sometimes just because i want to work on it and don’t want to write. This can mean the early parts get soooo much more love. 

Sometimes I print out a fic that has gone through a set of editing and do more on paper. It can be great. I just see the story differently, and it mostly keeps me from adding huge amounts, and i catch errors i didn’t otherwise. 

Usually i put up the ao3 draft a few days earlier and start adding tags and putting in my text (which i do in html) to look at it. The title often comes the day i publish, cause i wait till the end.

28. handwritten notes or typed notes?

typed unless i don't have my laptop. I started carrying around a pocket sized notebook in march and i'm onto my second one. I got it in a Japanese stationery store and got hooked, i have this line in many sizes, here's my pocket notebook -https://www.jetpens.com/Maruman-Mnemosyne-N184A-Twin-Ring-Memo-Pad-A7-Graph/pd/7379 I've written in this baby in the corner of a club cause i had ideas waiting at the bar for a drink.

44. any writing advice you want to share?

You have to get the words out. You have to get the words out. You have to get the words out.

Good words can be, often are, born of less good words.

Don't be afraid of editing! Great fiction generally comes from editing! Put down some fucking words even if you hate them and get to the next part. I do this, I am not preaching advice I don't take. I'll leave a comment sometimes to tell my future self I didn't think they were good words, I just needed them out. It's fine, I survive every single time.

If you don't need to edit, swell! But if you're stuck, just keep writing something -- or if that won't work, or you feel shitty, take a break. Work on another story, do something else, but if you're miserable and slamming your head against the wall, STOP! Don't hurt yourself! Because you shouldn't hurt, and because you'll associate writing more and more with hurt.

Get other people involved. Share snippets with your friends (if you've got an appropriate discord, make a channel for it!) Trade off reading with your writer friends. If you like my writing, know that not a single word I've ever published hasn't been read by multiple other people. My pre-fic writing was generally group works, so that's what feels normal. The idea of publishing with not even anyone to say "Hey Vee, this makes sense in your brain but not mine" is terrifying. You don't need to Have Serious Beta, it can just be cheerleading or really general "point out if anything is a big problem". I found out this week i am a "phenomenal cheerleader" -- your friends, or some kind soul on a discord, don't need to give you literary analysis to say "this part is cool, your fic is good, i hope you publish!"

Fandom is shared joy. Share your joy in every way - cheerleading others, getting other to share joy with you on your works, leave comments, leave kudos, reblog, make happy posts, keep the negativity to smaller spaces, SHARE THE JOY. I've been in fandom legit longer than some of you have been alive and it's always the joy, that's what it always comes back to. Hold onto the joy, that's what will last in your hearts. <3 <3 <3

[1c3312]

3/30/2023

how was today? today was fine. woke up super early to get my tires fixed and there were so many more people on the road than i was expecting and i was STRESSED but i made it in one piece. dad got me checked in and then dipped. right after he left the sales guy tried to get me to buy two more tires and i was like "haha maybe if i had the choice but no" and he was like "haha okay.." they got them done pretty fast so i'm hoping i won't have to worry about those for a while. ride home was a lot more enjoyable and i took a nap before heading out again for work. shift went by pretty fast and i got to pick the theme days for this weekend! had a guy almost run into me and some girls glared at me. they were also chewing with their mouths open which was gross. got home and immediately got high and ate some yummy snacks. gonna watch some more adventure time before i conk out

today's overall mood: decent

last night's dream: don't remember again oops

a memory i thought about today: sitting at the old kids table and watching cartoons while eating dinner, those were the days

favorite thing that happened today: had the cutest interaction with a little kid he was so cute

what's happening in my world?: ended up canceling plans w brayden because i wasn't feeling it and homie didn't tell me he wouldn't have been able to make it anyways. so if i didn't cancel i would have been waiting at the mall for 45 minutes waiting for his ass to answer me ugh

how much did i smoke today?: like 5 i think

did i work today?: yes! i worked from 1pm-5pm

today's weather: sunny, high of 54 and a low of 25

final day rating: ★★★☆☆

[rattiie-z]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[realcube]

waking up the hq boys at midnight to get ice-cream hcs🍦

characters: tsukishima, tanaka, nishinoya, ushijima, sugawara,  oikawa,  kageyama 

note: yes, this was very much inspired by that one tiktok sound where the girl wakes up her bf to get ice-cream- 

also, i use midnight as like..the middle of the night- not actaully 12AM lol

tw// fluff, sangwoo- 

Tsukishima Kei

you did not need to wake him up at 1AM to get ice-cream

man was already up, having just came off his phone and laying like this 😐 in bed as he either waited for himself to fall asleep or was thinking about an awkward interaction he had earlier that day 

anyway, as soon as you turned to him like ‘tsukki, do you wanna come with me to get ice-cream?’

he was suddenly 😴 fast asleep, fake snores and all

you were stubborn though, so you hopped out of bed up to go get ice-cream by yourself if he was just going to ignore you 

although, once you threw your coat on, tsukishima decided to start questioning your unusual behaviour, ‘why do you want ice-cream? it’s night; can’t you just sleep like a normal person and have ice-cream in the morning?’ 

honestly, tsukishima probably finds your nightly antics more endearing and cute rather than annoying 

he’d never admit it though- 

if you talk to him after midnight, on the outside he always looks displeased but really, he loves talking to you period

whether it is at 5PM or 1AM

you shrugged, without an explanation for your craving, ‘i don’t need to reason my midnight urges to you.’

with that, you turned on your heels to head out the door with the full intention of going to get ice-cream - this wasn’t a game 

tsukishima groaned as he finally deduced that you were being dead serious and not just doing this to irritate him

‘ugh, wait.’ he scoffed, forcing himself out of bed to follow you, ‘we have ice-cream downstairs, dumb-ass. don’t bother going out.’ 

you didn’t spare him a glance, continuing to venture to the front door, ‘yeah, but we don’t have strawberry.’ 

tsukishima glared at you, realising that persuasion would not work in this situation so he’d have to resort to brute force and trickery

‘ah, alright.’ he let out a sigh of defeat, ‘at least give us a hug before you go then.’

you paid no mind to how he referred to himself as plural, which is something he only does when he is lying or guilty as he is talking on behalf of his two faces 

also, you should’ve realised something was up when he actually asked for a hug instead of just expecting you to give him one

obliging, you wrapped him in a hug; allowing him to scoop you up into his arms, throw you over his shoulder and carry you to the kitchen

‘let me go, you whore!’  you squealed, lightly slapping his back as if that’d make him let you go 

tsukishima snickered at how childish you were being, ‘you can’t go out in the middle of the night to get ice-cream. you’ll die.’ 

‘i won’t die!’

‘you definitely will.’

anyway, he ends up making you both a bowl of ice-cream and eating it with you at the kitchen table while watching Spirited Away

and despite the fact he had some too, he’ll tease you about this for..the rest of your life 

like sometimes he’ll just wake you up in the middle of the night (during holidays ofc - he respects your sleep schedule) and whisper in your ear, ‘(y/n), do you wanna come get ice-cream with me?’

Tanaka Ryūnosuke

IORFHIEBGEGBO THIS MAN

ik most ppl would think he’d just go with you without a second thought or that he’d be the one asking you to go out for ice-cream but- no- 

well, yes; he wants to 

but when you wake him at 1AM 

(which he doesn’t mind btw bc  sometimes he accidentally wakes you up at like 3AM bc he’s ragin’ on Battlefield oop-)

and you’re all like ‘ryū, wanna go get ice-cream?’ *puppy eyes*

he’s like ‘sure!- but i ain’t got money so- no ❤’ 

then he goes back to sleep 

however, if you say that you’ll pay..he’s already standing with your bags by the door

so you’re definitely gonna have to fork up some cash for that good quality pistachio gelato for him if you want his presence 😌

but tbh, if you said that you were just gonna pay for yourself, he’d come anyway-

Nishinoya Yū

y’all go out at midnight for ice-cream at least once a week-

and it literally began bc you were watching ASMRs and Mukbangs together at 1AM during a sleepover 

and one person was having some lemon gelato and it looked 👌✨ immaculate

in that moment, you both looked at each other and neither of you had to utter a single word for you both to know that there was a mutual goal in mind; to get ice-cream, ASAP

so yeah ig you didn’t have to wake him up but you did need to awake the desire for ice-cream inside him

needless to say, y’all ran to the nearest ice-cream place 

and you made a race out of it 

(you won, ofc)

AND YOU BOTH SHARED A CUP OF GELATO AND IT WAS SO CUTE ! q(≧▽≦q)

and y’know the trope where you have food on the corner of your lip/chin etc and the person kisses you to get rid of it? 

yeah he tried to do that with the trope in mind but he deadass LICKED you IWFBVBBFRI

he was like ‘omg (y/n), lemme get that for you’ 😋👅

honestly, ig it depends if you are into that kinda stuff but ik some ppl would leave fast af ( ﾟдﾟ)つ Bye

Ushijima Wakatoshi

sorry i might have a bit of favouritism going on but i feel like ushijima would be a bigger bitch about it than tsukishima (at first)

but it’s like- solely bc you woke him up y’know?

‘ushijima, wanna go get ice-cream?’

he’s just laying there with his bed-head like :/

silently livid bc you messed up his potential 9 hours of sleep

‘no.’

pester all you want but that is the best you’re getting out of him that night

HOWEVER, the following afternoon (after practise ofc), he took you out for ice-cream 😊

and unlike some would believe (by ‘some’, i mean myself 2 secs ago.) i don’t think he’d be all ‘ice-cream is horrible for your health, (y/n)’ or ‘i can’t believe you’re eating that filth. your body is a temple.’

but that rather he’d just happily eat gelato with you; everything in moderation ig :)

OH AND HE’D PURPOSELLY BUY A DIFFERENT FLAVOUR FROM YOU SO HE COULD BE LIKE

‘(y/n), do you want a bite of mine?’ and give you a spoonful to try like the romance king he is  

Oikawa Tōru

you wouldn’t wake him up bc mf needs his beauty sleep

plus, it was during a sleepover at your house so ofc you didn’t want to wake up your guest 

but he’s a light sleeper so when you’re shuffling through your stuff at 1AM, sneaking around the house to find a jacket (trying to be as quiet as possible so you don’t wake him up); his eyes are open and he’s speculating that sangwoo is near

until he turns around to notice that you’re not laying next to him and he is in fact being spooned by a large pillow (probably a sangwoo body pillow smh)

after that, he hops to his feet and storms through the house in search of you so he can yell at you for ruining his sleep grr

however, once he finds you and realises that you look ready to head out, he feels inclined to firstly ask, ‘where are you going? you know it’s 2AM, right?’ 

you replied by explaining your plan to sneak out for ice-cream and he just stared at you, absolutely bewildered for a few moments

he stood like a statue with that stupid expression on his face for ages so you asked him if he was alright, to which he responded, ‘that’s such a stupid idea.’

‘so, you’re not coming with?’

‘of course i am.’

so you both ended up sitting with your ice-cream cones, in your pyjamas, on a park bench somewhere, admiring the moonlit sky along with the stars adorning it

oh, and that was actually the first time he said ‘i love you.’

Sugawara Kōshi

if feel like suga would be exactly like the guy in the sound/video: confused, tired and extremely reluctant but ofc inevitably he ends up standing outside of a dessert place, hand-in-hand with you

he’d wake up, weary from fatigue and he barely has the strength to argue with you during the day - so how exactly was he supposed to do it in the middle of the night? 

thus, he lugged himself out of bed and threw on a coat but as soon as the cold winter air bit at his nose, he was flooded with the energy and will-power to try convince you stay in with him

(It’s his parental senses) 

‘you’ll catch a cold, darling!’ (yes, he does call you that.) ‘and it’s night too, there’s probably a bunch of creeps out and around!’

at that point, it was just a battle of will

bc you both had each other’s wishes at heart

you wanted him to have peace of mind and he wanted you to have ice-cream

(and he was kinda craving some himself tbh)

so you both decided to stay in, tucking into the half-eaten tubs of Ben & Jerry’s in the fridge 

and after that, neither of you got any sleep bc you both stayed up watching movies and cuddling 🥺

Kageyama Tobio

he was wide awake at 2AM, laying beside you on the bed, practising sets 

so ofc the time wasn’t an issue

but kageyama wasn’t big on sweet treats so when you suggested that y’all should go out for ice-cream, you were shocked - to say the least - when he simply replied 

‘sure’

like why would he oppose? he was already awake. plus, he was kinda craving something sweet tbh

also, he could tell it’d make you happy and he’s whipped tbh

so you took advantage of this indifferency by immediately jolting up and dragging him to your favourite dessert place

the whole time, he acted as usual - it was as if he was just on a regular walk to school

when you got there, you both shared a sundae and he paid; what a king (❤´艸｀❤)

(it was bc you had forgotten your wallet/purse at home- but still a kind gesture 💕)

you both just sat in a booth, pecking away at the sundae while talking about anything and everything that came to mind as the low, distant R&B music from the shop’s speakers played in the background

 ‘it is flat. have you ever been on a plane before, (y/n)? did you see a single curve? no.’

you rolled your eyes, finding it physically painful how stupid kagyeama could be sometimes, ‘it’s science, kags. the earth is round! the curves are just very subtle.’

‘no.’

‘YOU CAN’T SAY NO! IT’S SCIENCE!’ 

[spectracully]

crash the crush.

pairings : senior student!xiaojun x sophomore student!reader warnings : profanity, underage drinking, mentions of drugs genre : fluff, a bit of crack? highschool!au word count : 4.3k

summary : what are the odds of crashing into your crush during the neighborhood-friendly run and mutual friends party?

You were pissed off when your mum said you need to work your lazy ass off. Well, if it's on the summer break, you'll most likely agree with her. But it's only the weekend, and you've been studying your ass off these days. A lazy weekend is something you earned, but your mum decided to rain on your lazy parade.

With all those groans and deep sighs, you storm off your house wearing your workout gear. Not much, only a windbreaker jacket paired with shorts and running shoes. Popping your airpods on both of your ears to blast some jams, you take some light jogging steps on your neighborhood. It's only 4.30 pm, and kinda windy, why the fuck are you doing this? That's right, because mum literally compared you to your neighbor's daughter, Giselle, who recently won a karate tournament. Now mum won't even shut up how much she wants an active daughter, not the lazy one. Yikes.

Back to the streets by Saweetie & Jhene Aiko plays, and you hear a message notification on your airpods. Still on your light jogs, you glance at the notification.

yeri<3 : yo yeri<3 : wyd

You stop jogging for a while to write your bestfriend back. It's saturday, she's probably asking you to hangout along with the gang. Yeri gets easily bored at home and in constant need of hanging out.

y/n : running  💃 💃 💃 y/n : mum said i need to be giselle

You continue your pace while waiting for her reply. You can see your neighborhood clearly now, seeing the details, since you always go to school in a sleepy state, not really noticing the environment, and also going home from school mostly sleeping in your brother's car.

The notification rings again. It must be Yeri.

yeri<3 : bitch thats a dancing emoji yeri<3 : running in a weather like this? yeri<3 : damn straight u wanna be giselle

You chuckle as you’re about to type the messages once more, the weather is fine, what the hell is she talking about? But then Yeri is still typing. 

yeri<3 : n e ways yeri<3 : party at lucas' 8pm yeri<3 : be there or be fucking square 💀 💀 💀

You sigh. There she goes. No other option than tag along with her, but it's not like you hate it anyway. Lucas' party is always awesome, you and your friends also will get a VIP pass because he's a good friend of yours too, despite the fact that you're not even in the same grade as him, he's one year above you and Yeri.

y/n : weather is nice dont jinx it y/n : fine but pick me up y/n : cuz doyoung won't let me drive his car

You send the messages to Yeri to prove her the weather is fine, and indicates that you agree to go to Lucas' house tonight, it's a great night to probably get wasted after all those tiring run mum decided to toss on you. It's gonna be fun, anyways. But the thing about hanging out with Lucas and his senior friends.. You might've developed a big fat crush with one of Lucas' closest friends, Xiaojun. 

You barely had an interaction with him, though, because he's usually the quiet and calm one in Lucas' closest friends group. Lucas himself is already so fucking loud, not to mention Hendery, the good-looking clown and moodmaker. There's also Jungwoo, the one who looks very calm but actually won't shut up once you talk to him. Mark too, the giggly one with some lame jokes. Well, going to Lucas' party tonight means you can see Xiaojun, probably getting the chances that you'll have some interaction over some boozes or something is also quite high.

After feeling all warmed up, you decide to give yourself a run around the block. Yeri's right, it's a funny weather to run. It's windy, but the more you stay outside, the cloud is getting darker and darker. You also knew that you're not really alone, who's doing this athletic bullshit in this kind of weather, you noticed that a boy is also doing this silly run when you were typing messages to Yeri. Probably just another neighbor's child being scolded by his mum of how Giselle is so athletic that his mum also wants an active son? Welp, you didn't see his face anyway, you were glued to the phone when you saw the figure running from the side.

It's not even a minute after you started running, Yeri already replied again. Is she really that bored that she doesn't have anything to do?

yeri<3 : ok i'll pick u up at 7 yeri<3 : um.. its fucking raining, y/n yeri<3 : go home and take a shower yeri<3 : pick ur clothes and put on some makeup instead yeri<3 : its saturday night, activate your hoe protocol yeri<3 : mr xiaojun is going to be there tonight

You stop running and stare at her messages. Raining? Is she drunk or what? It's not even 5pm yet and here she is, hallucinating-

Oop. There it goes. You feel some water drops on your head. Your hand. It was slow at first, but then the raindrops are getting harder and harder, it's pouring. 

"Motherfu-" you let out a curse, you should've trusted Yeri on this. As an intuitive homo sapiens with XX chromosomes, you scan through the streets, looking for some shelter to wait the rain to stop. Spotting a bus stop with a large steel canopy, you run like your life depended on it, avoiding the rain.

Finally arriving, you sigh and sit on the installed chair, typing messages to Yeri.

y/n : omg bitch ur right its raining y/n : should've pretended im dead in my room so mum wont bug me y/n : u know what after the rain ends im gonna sprint back home and take a fucking shower y/n : the universe doesnt like it when im trying to be giselle, it gave me rain instead

You sigh as you shuffle through your playlist, looking for some fun jams to pass your time through the rain, when somebody suddenly approaches you.

"Hi, do you mind if I take a seat here?" a boy asks, pointing to the chair next to you. You look up, and suddenly the next thing you wanna do is ascend your soul the fuck out of your body to the sky. 

Oh boy. It's Xiaojun. The boy you won't shut up about. He’s wearing a white loose tank and grey sweatpants, drenched in his own sweat. Oh god. This is truly an attack for you. What the fuck is he doing here? And why must you meet him at your mess like being all salty because of those running fiasco and the rain? While wearing your not-so-fashionable workout gear and not-so-tidy ponytails? Oh god.

You can feel your heart is about to explode when you realize that he is actually the person who is also doing the stupid running at this very weather, you just didn't notice it sooner because you were on your damn phone. Damn, mum was right, everything happened because you were always on your damn phone.

"No, of course! Take a seat!" you answer him, trying your best to crack your sweetest smile although it's more like sweatiest not sweetest.

He smiles back at you, taking a seat next to you, then his eyes get back to his phone, completely glued. Damn this is the only cardio that is worth it, no running, no jumping, no huff that huff this, only sitting next to Xiaojun on a rainy day on a bus stop. Wonderful.

You quickly whip up the messaging app to type all kinds of gibberish and send it to Yeri. She knows what shit is about to go down when you speak gibberish to her.

y/n : FUCKJSHSJJSKSJK YERI y/n : OH MY FUCKING GOD SJSGSJSHSKJSK

Lucky you, Yeri has nothing to do than respond to your messages, she stays put on the chat room.

yeri<3 : OMG BITCH WHAT yeri<3 : SKSHSJJSKS YOU SCARED ME

y/n : HE's FUCKING HERE AHSJSHSJEK

yeri<3 : OMG WHOS HE?? yeri<3 : THE DEVIL??? IS HE GONNA TAKE UR SOUL? SKEJSJKSKSK

y/n : XIAOJUN y/n : TURNS OUT HE ALSO LIVES IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD

yeri<3 : ASKJSJSKSK WHAT yeri<3 : HOW

y/n : KAHSKSJKS omg bitch y/n : i was sheltering myself from the goddamn rain y/n : im in bus stop rn y/n : this angel came to accompany me y/n : HE WAS RUNNING TOO OMG y/n : omg yeri just so u know if im not there when u pick me up y/n : its bc im in church getting married with my man xiaojun

yeri<3 : BITCH OMG SKSKSKSKK yeri<3 : GET MARRIED RN yeri<3 : WAIT dont waste the chance yeri<3 : talk to him rn!!!

You swear you're about to scream when Yeri sends that. She was actually right, this is your chance to talk to him, considering that you didn't really interact that much with him. But really? He didn't even say a word when he sat, probably didn't even remember your name? The disappointment slowly gets into your head.

You freeze on the spot. torn between wanting to talk to him and just let it slide, you'll see him again tonight as Lucas' house, right?

Just when you decide to give up and not say a word, he turns his head to you.

"Hey, I didn't know you live in this neighborhood too," he starts.

Oh god. If every time your heart beats fast you get a dollar, you'd probably have your own private island by now.

You try to play it cool when actually on the inside you wanna scream I LIKE YOU to his face rn. "Oh? Oh yes, my house is number 13." you answer calmly,

He cracks a smile, “13? You’re Doyoung’s little sister?”

Oh god. What the fuck is this clownery? He knows Doyoung? Why and how? At this rate you just wanna evaporate to the rain, what if Doyoung actually knows that you liked Xiaojun and he spills it? Oh god. 

You smile back at him, holding the panic you’ve been keeping since he mentioned Doyoung’s name. “Yep. I’m his sister.”

“Oh god, why didn’t I notice that earlier? I could’ve taken care of you at school!” he exclaims, and you sure you just wanna evaporate to the rain. Him? Taking care of you at school? YES PLEASE!

You let out a small giggle, trying to be as calm as possible when in reality you’re very sure you just wanna melt like a goddamn popsicle on a hot summer day. “So, how do you know my brother, actually?”

He laughs a bit, wiping away the sweat on his forehead. Oh god, he’s just so beautiful. “Well.. Doyoung and I used to be a dynamic duo in the school's choir, until he graduated.”

Oh, that. Doyoung is pretty serious about his career in the school’s choir, but you did not expect that Xiaojun is actually a part of it. Of course, he has the face of an angel, the voice is included.

“Now I know why Doyoung never let me come to his house. Turns out he has a cute- I mean, h-he has a sister, and that’s you! M-Maybe he’s afraid I’ll bother you or s-something.” he continues, stuttering a bit, and letting out an awkward laugh. You laugh again, feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks that you can’t hide no more. DID HE JUST SAY DOYOUNG HAS A CUTE SISTER? DID HE JUST SAY YOU’RE CUTE? DID HE-

But then, good things always come to an end. The goddamn rain stops. Oh fuck, no more chitter chatter with the dear crush. Just when it is the fucking time you need to hear the goddamn wedding bells, the rain decided to stop on your rain parade. Fuck.

He looks up, and seems like noticing the rain has stopped. “Well, Y/n. Lucas is having a party tonight, are you coming?”

You can feel your cheeks are still heating from his words, you shyly nod to him. Welp, maybe the rain has stopped, but this stupid crush? No. It goes on. Very much.

He stands up, straightening his white loose tank, getting ready to probably sprint back home. “Okay. See you tonight then, I’m going home. Have a good run!” he says as he walks away from the bus stop, leaving you dumbfounded. And lovestruck. That’s a win, alright.

Xiaojun slowly fades away from your view, and you’re still drowning on your pool of love. Yep, that’s it. You can’t even hold it, you quickly dial Yeri’s number to break out the news.

“What is it, Y/n? You literally left me on read for like 14 minutes straight and now you-”

“YERI LISTEN I’M GETTING MARRIED TONIGHT AND THAT’S A FUCKING FACT!” you shout to the phone, you can picture Yeri is probably goggling out her eyes right now.

“Girl, just because Xiaojun just asked you why the fuck were you running at times like this it doesn’t mean-”

“HE CALLED ME CUTE!” you blurted out,cutting her sentences for the second time,

“-you’re getting married- WHAT?? HE CALLED YOU WHAT?” Yeri yelled from the phone, now it’s pretty clear that Yeri is probably jumping her ass off right now.

You sprint your way to home, while holding your phone to your ears, continuing to give Yeri the details about the bus stop conversation you had earlier. Now she’s just yelling at you to pick the right dress and pamper yourself up, the probability you’ll marry Xiaojun at Lucas’ party is increasing. Sure it does.

-------

It’s 11.28 PM, 3 hours and a half since you and Yeri just arrived at Lucas’ house, escaping from Doyoung’s warning to you, to get back in one piece, and most importantly, sober. As if you’re gonna leave Lucas’ house sober, that’s funny, alright. You and Yeri were greeted by Yangyang and Donghyuck, who are currently setting up the table for snacks and drinks. That was probably the first time you saw Donghyuck ever setting up something, because if not, Jungwoo would’ve set his ass on fire.

The party madness has started, seems like everybody already has enough alcohol running on their system. Lucas is already losing his shirt and starts twerking in the middle of his house along with Jaemin and Jungwoo. Ah yes, the thot trio already started their thing, and all you have to do is just stay back and avoid getting dragged to the dance mess, because the chance of Jungwoo and Jaemin will start grinding at you is kinda high right now.. Considering their.. Twerking fiasco.

You sit back on the couch and watch your friends getting crazy over the playlist Yangyang made just for this event, sipping on your cocktails that Donghyuck put god-knows-what in it, he said it’s just cherry juice mixed with gin and brandy, but somehow it tastes kinda citrusy. You glance to the right, only to see Yeri making out with some random guy (probably one of Lucas’ friends named Changbin but oh well, that’s Yeri’s business).

Slightly grossed out and sad because apparently you’re not making out with Xiaojun right now, you make your way to the patio, and find the crowd that circle around a spinning bottle. Interested, you join Jeno, Mark, Renjun, Yeji, Hyunjin, Sungchan, Karina, Vernon, Hendery, and of course, the (hottest) most important person right now, Xiaojun.

“Welcome! As a newly joined member.. Truth or dare?” Jeno greets you as you take a seat between Mark and Sungchan. Well, you’d love to sit beside Xiaojun, but apparently, that seat is already taken by Hendery and Vernon.

You silently glance at Xiaojun, who is wearing a denim jacket with light-yellow knit top underneath, paired with white trousers. Damn, he looks so damn good that you wanna cry a river.

Your head comes back to the question Jeno asked. Today’s your day, be bold or bald. It’s time. “Well, I’m not gonna put my drunk antics to waste. Dare then.” you answer boldly, earning a few ‘ooooh’s from your friends.

Jeno snickers. Well, fuck. Guess you’re a bit too damn bold tonight, the realization suddenly hits you like a fucking trainwreck, Jeno is kinda extreme for games like this. Wrong choice, y/n. You gulp as you wait for Jeno to come up with something.

“I dare you to kiss Xiaojun!” Jeno exclaims, clapping both of his hands like a goddamn happy seal. Mark and Hendery are high-fiving right now, throwing whistles around Xiaojun, who is silent as a fucking rock.

Oh god. Things you’ve said about not putting your drunk antics to waste should’ve stayed in that goddamn draft. This is where Jeno takes you, even though you’re secretly happy that you finally get to kiss your goddamn crush, that shit is EMBARRASSING. If you wanna evaporate to the waters, then it’s probably the right time to do it.

But why Xiaojun though? Is your big fat crush on him too obvious?

You freeze on the spot as you awkwardly smile and stare at Jeno. This shit can’t be real. Jeno is goddamn crazy. You can feel the air is getting hot, whether it’s because the alcohol starts kicking in, or just because the blood is rushing through your head.

“Scared, aren’t you?” Jeno taunts you, sipping his beer as the rest of the group laugh except you and Xiaojun, who is currently staring at you with a questionable expression. Is he pleased? Or is he pissed? Oh god.

“I-I’m not!” you answer him, leaning to Xiaojun, gulping once more before asking him, “You’re okay with this though?”

Xiaojun smirks, “How can I say no to you?” he asks back, accompanied by a few ‘ayyy~’ from the boys, sending butterflies to your stomach. Your face is probably as red as a tomato by now.

Good god. Is this the same Xiaojun who is quiet, calm, and collected among his friends? Why suddenly he is so bold? Oh, he’s probably just drunk and won’t remember this kiss anyway.. You lean closer to him, closing the gap between his face and yours by sealing the kiss. His lips are soft yet firm, almost like a grape jelly you had earlier this afternoon, with a hint of vodka, of course.

After a few seconds, you finally pull out and linger your eyes on him. It’s beautiful, and mesmerizing. You just wish that you can see it again, and only for you, no one else. As you get back to your seat, you take one more last glance at him, that is currently also glancing at you, with his cheeks red.

Okay. You definitely heard the wedding bells, thanks Jeno. That’s probably one of your dreams, and thanks to Jeno, it came true. But unfortunately, Xiaojun probably won’t feel the same, or worse, he’ll probably forget about it tomorrow.

Everyone claps, exchanging happy exclaims and cheers as if you just said ‘I do’ to Xiaojun lol, when in reality, you were just doing the dare Jeno gave you. You gulp bitterly as the game goes on and on.

-----

It’s an hour past midnight, 1.12 AM to be exact. Thank god you’re not that shitfaced, but Yeri is. She is not even capable of doing anything anymore except being all smiley and shit, Changbin already drove her home like fifteen minutes ago, leaving you behind in Lucas’ lair. You suddenly felt the urge to thank god that Yeri made a fantastic decision last minute before picking you up, she used a taxi instead of driving. If she hadn’t, you’re probably stuck driving her home right now.

You scan through the house while leaning through the stair railings, looking for an easy target to get a free ride. Finally spotted your friends, you now have 3 choices : Donghyuck (who is currently seducing some random girl), Yangyang (who is now playing mobile games with Jaemin and Chenle), or Mark (who recently just hit a goddamn blunt, but he’s very capable to drive).

You sip your glass of water, making up your mind for your ride home. But then, suddenly someone taps on your shoulder.

“Do you wanna go home? Like, right now? I can drive you- I mean, our house is like, near.” you hear Xiaojun speaking to you, holding his car keys on his left hand.

Good gracious, is this even real? Like, Xiaojun, is actually asking you to go home with him? Is this real? Or are you just hallucinating from the goddamn weed you take 10 minutes ago from Lucas?

You stare at him blankly. He bit his lip, “I mean- If you wanna stay longer- or probably-”

“Yes, of course! Let’s go.” you smile at him, cutting off his words.

3 times in a day. Good job, Y/n! The wedding is up ahead!

He smiles and gives you a gesture, “Ladies first.”

-

The drive is not as awkward as you thought. Turns out, Xiaojun is full of surprise though, you nearly choked when he said he once formally apologized to Doyoung before he stood up to defend the dignity of Mint Chocolate Chip flavored ice cream. It’s delightful to find out that he has similar tastes as you, from ice cream flavor to music and school subjects.

Xiaojun also told you the reason why he was on the run earlier, he was bored. Damn, look at it, the difference between a forced daughter whose mum wants an active child, and a bored model-student. He said he didn’t expect to see you because he was embarrassed, he was drenched in sweat.

You can feel the butterflies on your stomach grow wilder and wilder from every word he said, or maybe it’s just the way he smiles when he talks to you? Welp, if it’s anything to do with Xiaojun, you’ll most likely get butterflies.

Just when you thought he was drunk, he is not. He’s capable of driving you home and carrying on some fun convos, also remembering little things. So.. perhaps, he is not going to forget the kiss you shared because of Jeno’s dare?

As you keep on exchanging conversation with him, suddenly it’s time to get off his car and get back to your house, get ready to deal with Doyoung’s nags and scolds for getting home this late.

You giggle as you take the seat belt off, smiling at the brown haired boy.

“Thank you for driving me home, Xiaojun. It was fun.” you say to him, waving him goodbye as you open the door. He smiles and waves back at you.

Just when you’re about to open the gate of your house, you hear the sound of slamming car doors. You turn around and see Xiaojun standing in front of you, eyes sparkling like a goddamn star. Unfortunately, it’s not Christmas.. If it is, all you want for Christmas is to stare at Xiaojun’s beautiful eyes all day, and probably get married to him.

“Um.. Y/n.. I don’t know how to say this but.. The kiss you gave me earlier, it’s kinda..” he starts, smiling sheepishly.

Oh god, what now? It’s kinda what? Gross? You swear you’ll kill Jeno if you hear that from Xiaojun.

You gaze at him as you wait for him to complete his sentences.

“It’s kinda.. Making me feel.. Things.” he finally continues, rubbing the back of his neck while looking away from you, flustered. It’s pretty cute.

You giggle at him a little, the butterflies come back, or maybe they never even left?

“Don’t laugh, Y/n. I’m being honest, I was pretty embarrassed to run into you during sheltering, and now you’re laughing at me for-”

You let out a big laugh before you pull him to another kiss. This one is a bit longer, more passionate and intimate, unlike the one you had before. He cups your cheek as you feel him smiling during the kiss.

“I’m sorry if I invaded your privacy- but your fast typing was very.. Intriguing.. I might’ve seen you texting Yeri at the bus stop.” he giggles after you pull out from the kiss.

Yikes. You feel like you’re about to burst now. He saw you texting Yeri? What kind of clownery is this? Did he see you typing- oh god, that’s too embarrassing to remember.

“No! That’s too embarrassing!” you cover your face, he laughs once more.

“Now, which church are we going to? I’m pretty sure you said we’re getting married tonight, right?” he takes your hands off your face, grinning widely.

You pout and lightly hit him, only to be attacked by his hugs a second later. Aww, finally, dreams do come true. You stay on his embrace for a few more minutes, no talking, just comfortable silence and realization that you’re on Xiaojun’s arms right now.

You glance at your watch, Doyoung would be furious by now. Telling him that you really have to go before Doyoung can rise from his sleep and beat your ass, you finally wave goodbye to him as he gets back to his car.

Finally entering the house, you’re greeted by Doyoung who’s standing in front of you, holding a bowl of salad on his right hand.

“So, kissing Xiaojun in front of my salad?” he raises his eyebrow.

You stick out your tongue as you make your way upstairs. Technically, not in front of Doyoung’s salad, because the door was closed. He’s probably looking through the window, such a nosy brother. You laugh at the thought of Doyoung getting furious while eating his salad as you get a message.

Xiaojun : so, see you at school? Xiaojun : can’t wait to hold your hand on monday ;)

[naturallytom]

One Day Later (TA!Tom Holland x reader)

a/n: welp. this was way more nsfw than i planned. oops. big thank u to @sunshinehollandd​ for reading this over!!

warnings: language, drinking/drunkenness (sort of), making out, nsfw but nothing too heavy/graphic, fluff, a teeny bit of angst 

please reblog/leave feedback!!

“Good afternoon class and welcome to Sociological themes in Classic Literature. My name is Professor Jones.” The entire class was zoned out, as most students are the first day of classes.   You were mindlessly tapping your pen against the top of your notebook page, your eyes flickering over the previously highlighted assignment due dates. If you were being totally honest, you didn’t really want to take this class, you were just taking it to fill your English requirement. You figured it’d be easy since you were a sociology major already. “..And before I let you all go today, I wanted to introduce your TA to you guys. His name is Tom, he’ll send out an email with his office hours and how to contact him later.” Professor Jones finished.

As soon as Tom stepped up to the podium, you could tell every girl was gonna be going to his office hours at some point. And could you blame them? No. Not exactly. He was cute. Like really really cute. His short brown hair was gelled up and he had pretty brown eyes that resembled those of a puppy. Rectangular dark brown glasses sat on the bridge of his nose, giving him a look that screamed ‘teaching assistant.’ 

“Hey guys, as Professor Jones said my name’s Tom, I’ll be the TA for this semester. I’ll send you all an email later that will have this information in it so you don’t have to worry about memorizing it right now but my office hours are Monday’s from 12-4pm, Wednesday’s from 3-5pm, and Thursdays from 1-3pm. If those don’t work for you I’m happy to meet up with anyone outside of those times, just send me an email or a text.” He smiled, grabbing his bag and leaving the room, waving on his way out. “Perfect. You’re all free to go. We’ll start discussing Pride and Prejudice next class so make sure you have the first three chapters read.” Professor Jones dismissed. The class filed out of the lecture hall, whispers of how cute TA Tom was filling your ears in both directions. “He’s so damn cute.” One girl giggled to her friend. “I hope he’s single.” Her friend sighed in response. “I’m so gonna text him with random questions just to talk to him either way.” You rolled your eyes. Sure, he was cute. But he was your TA. It would be unprofessional to try anything with him. Besides, he’s got to have a girlfriend, right? You got your answer a few weeks later. Classes were going steady, but midterm week was approaching and you needed to let loose and have some fun before you had to stress about Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet, and the theories of social class. The frat house was more alive than ever. Multi colored lights decorated the kitchen with music blaring throughout the entire house. Making your way to the kitchen, you grabbed your friend’s hand to ensure you didn’t lose them in the crowd. The last thing you needed was to lose your friend in a sea of drunk college guys. Your friend settled on a beer while you settled on making a rum and coke to start. Next thing you knew, your friend was drunk and dancing with a couple guys, making you chuckle. “Need another drink?” A voice called over the music. You turned, seeing a cute boy standing next to you. He seemed familiar but between the alcohol you already consumed and the madness of the party, you couldn’t put your finger on where you knew him from. “You’re doing shots?” You yelled over the music, seeing him pour tequila into the small glasses. That was not what you thought when he offered to make you a drink. “Wanna join me?” He shrugged, offering you one. Fuck it. You took the small glass, clinking your glass with his lightly before the two of you downed the alcohol, feeling it burn your throat. “Another one?” He offered. Why not? A short amount of time and god knows how many shots later and you were out of it. Sober enough to know what you were doing, but drunk enough to know you’d be hungover tomorrow morning. Your lips were pressed messily up against his, your hands tangled in his soft but short curls. The two of you made your way upstairs, finding an empty bedroom. As soon as you were inside, you were pressed up against the door, his tongue finding its way into your mouth. “Fuck, you’re a good kisser.” You breathed out as the brunette trailed kisses down your neck and along your jaw. “Thanks.” He paused, giving you a goofy smile, a massive but momentary change in his demeanor before he pressed his lips to yours messily again, this time guiding you to the bed and laying you down before climbing on top of you, kissing you again before pulling away and resting his forehead against yours. “Are you gonna do something?” You whined as his hand toyed with the end of your shirt. “Do you want me to?” He asked, straddling your waist and earning a groan from you. “Yes, fuck yes. Please do something.” You sighed as he kissed down your neck, leaving marks in his wake. “Hm I don’t know.” He teased, his breath fanning over your ear. “I need you to be really sure about this.” “Jesus christ, you want me to beg?” You groaned, making him shrug. “First of all, my name’s Tom.” He chuckled, you rolling your eyes. “Second of all, I just wanna make sure you’re really positive you’re okay with what we’re about to do but I’m more than happy to hear you beg.” “Fine.” You rolled your eyes. “Please, please do something, Tom. I need you.” “What do you need?” He teased again. “I don’t, fuck, I don’t know! Go down on me, fuck me, just do something for fucks sake!” You groaned. That was all the answer Tom needed. - When you woke up the next morning, your head was pounding and you were in an unfamiliar bed, but you remembered exactly what had happened. Though you still couldn’t figure out where you knew Tom from, you figured you’d never see him again anyway, giving you mixed feelings. You climbed out of his arms as gently and as softly as possible, putting your clothes back on, before heading out of the frat house to call your friend and head back to your apartment. - It wasn’t until the very next day that you remembered where you knew Tom from. You walked into your sociological themes in classic literature class, prepared for the review session held by the TA and froze almost as soon as you entered the room upon seeing the TA. Oh. Right. Tom is the TA for this class. That’s how you knew him. The marks on your neck still sat there proudly and a light blush rose to Tom’s cheeks when he saw them as you took your seat. You gave him a simple smile as you sat down, pretending to scroll through your phone as the other students filed in. The class was torture. That was the best word to describe it. It was difficult to focus on anything when you now knew that you fucked the goddamn TA. The dorky, innocent-seeming TA. Finally when the class was over, you got up to leave as soon as possible, but stopped when Tom called your name. You sighed and the two of you waited until the rest of the students were gone to break the uncomfortable silence between the two of you. “I did a good job on your neck.” He said smugly, this time it was your turn to feel your cheeks heat up under his gaze. “Yeah. Um, I enjoyed that.” You mumbled, internally face palming yourself at how awkward you sounded. “Oh I could tell from the pretty little noises you let out.” He chuckled, making a smile tug on your lips, though you rolled your eyes. “Did you want to talk about something or did you just want to be a smug son of a bitch?” You asked. “Well, both, but I wasn’t planning on being a smug son of a bitch.” He smiled. “I wanted to see if you wanted to grab coffee.” “Like…like a date? Is that legal?” You wondered, making Tom laugh. “I’m a TA, y/n. We’re just two students, it’s not against the law.” He laughed. “We don’t have to-” “No, no. I want to. That sounds lovely.” You smiled, making Tom smile. “Here,” He handed you his phone. “You can put your number in.” You typed in the numbers, texting yourself so you knew who it was, and added a star emoji next to your name, because why not? Tom chuckled when he saw the emoji. “Do you wanna wait until after the midterm?” He asked. “The midterm is next week, Tom.” You giggled. “We can do this weekend.” - Your coffee date was Saturday morning and Tom asked you on a second date before it was finished. Two dates turned into three and soon enough a month went by and Tom asked to make things between the two of you official. “Yeah, of course I want this with you, Tom.” You whispered, the two of you lying in his bed, your fingers tracing shapes on his bare chest. “Just don’t want anyone knowing for a little bit.” “Perfectly fine with me, love.” He sighed, tugging you closer to his chest. “Perfectly fine with me.” The next time you had class, you got jealous. Tom looked exceptionally good that day and was in class to answer questions about themes relating to 1984. You were jealous because the girls in your class were basically undressing Tom with their eyes. Granted they didn’t know he was your boyfriend, you still felt jealous. Tom knew something was wrong when you stayed behind after the students left. The two of you had a date that night and he knew you’d want to do some homework before he picked you up. “What’s up, baby?” He asked as you walked up to the podium. “I didn’t like the way they were looking at you.” You mumbled into his chest. “Who?” “The girls in class. They were looking at you like you’re their boyfriend, but you’re my boyfriend.” You pouted, making Tom chuckle. “I am all yours, love. Don’t want the other girls in the class. Only you.” He assured you, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “All mine?” You asked, looking up at him from his chest. “All yours.”

_______________________________________________________________________

tagging some mutuals: @sunshinehollandd​ @angelic-holland​ @spideypeach​ @terrifictomholland​

[rebelwrites]

Chapter Twenty Four: It’s Over Baby

Warnings: fighting, guns, blood, death

Join The Group Chat Here // Chapter List / Masterlist // March Writings

Today was the day. The day Brooke faced her demon face to face. The day everyone was dreading.

Everyone was sitting around the table, Xavier wouldn’t let Brooke off his knee but she didn’t mind as it was keeping them both calm. Brooke didn’t get much sleep the previous night as her mind kept thinking of today and all the way things could go wrong.

“So there’s no more pain right?” Alex asked Brooke.

“Nope and I don’t have any pain riding either” Brooke nodded.

“Wait how do you know that?” Xavier asked.

“I may have snuck out after you fell asleep and rode around the compound because I couldn’t sleep” Brooke said leaning back into Xavier.

“That’s why you were in somewhat of a good mood this morning” Xavier laughed, shaking his head.

“Brooke” James said taking a deep breath “it’s time to sent the text”

Xavier watched as Brooke hovered over the send button, she took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she hit sent before tossing her phone on the table.

Tom, I want to come home, meet me in the woods at 5pm. Come alone.

She felt physically sick as all the worries creeped back into her mind.

What if the plan didn’t work? What if she ended up back there? What if she got killed? What if…

She had so many thoughts it was making her head spin. She needed to get out of her, she needed an escape.

“I’m sorry this is too much” she whispered, climbing off Xavier’s knee and walked out of the room.

She ignored everyone that spoke to her as she headed straight towards the garage. Grabbing her leather bomber jacket off the hook, she slipped in on before putting her helmet on and grabbing the keys from the hook. As she straddled the bike she felt the engine rumble under her causing a small smile to appear on her lips. Slamming the visor down she remotely opened the garage door before giving her bike full throttle speeding out and racing around the compound.

At least in this moment she felt free as the wind battered her jacket.

"I knew this was going to be too much for her," Xavier sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"Xav she will be fine, she just needs to process the information. She used to do this when we were kids, remember" James smiled at the memory.

"I don't even know where-" Xavjer said before stopping mid sentence as the roar of her bike got louder and then faded.

He smiled, he should have known. Every time things get hard Brooke goes for a ride. She has done since she was old enough to ride a bike. A loud thud on the window brought him out of his thoughts. Looking over to see the once clear glass was now covered in grass and mud.

"Think we are going to have to replace the grass" he laughed, shaking his head. He didn’t care if it kept his bumble bee calm then He would replace the grass as long as they both lived.

"I'm gonna see what mess she has caused" Xavier laughed walking out the room.

As he stood on the grass just watching as Brooke tore up the compound. She didn’t see him at first but as soon as she did she raced over to him, skidding around him covering him in grass and mud. Once she had righted her bike, in one movement she cut the end, kicked the kickstand and lifted her muddy visor up smirking at Xavier.

"Oops" she giggled as she climbed off her bike.

Xavier laughed as he shocked the mud and grass out of his hair

"Feel better?" He whispered wrapping his arms around her. No words were said but she nodded into his chest.

It was now four ok. This was it the plan was going to work or she was about to walk into a death sentence.

Taking a deep breath she pushed the door open to the church. Feeling Xavier’s hand in the small of her back she flashed him a smile. He would always be standing by her side no matter what.

"Brooke are you ready" Alex asked concern laced in his voice

"Nope, but too late to back out now" She whispered, shrugging.

"Well you won't be unarmed" her dad said emptying the bag he held on the table.

4 knives and 3 guns.

"So you can slip a knife in each boot, one on the pocket on your left arm, tuck one gun in the back of your waist band and the other two in the holster" Alex smiled softly, as she started putting the weapons where they needed to be.

She felt a bit better being armed, but she still couldn't shake the feeling something was going to go wrong as she grabbed her keys off the table with a sigh

"Bumble we will be right behind you, I won't let anything bad happen" Xavier whispered wrapping his arms around Brooke’s waist.

"Let's just get this over with"

Brooke stood in the middle of the clearing, trying not to jump at every twig that snapped or the rustling of the leaves. This was a mistake as fear ran through her body. She shouldn’t have agreed to this, putting herself on the front line.

She leant against her bike, pulling her cigarettes out and sparking one up before looking at her phone to check the time.

4.55pm

5 minutes till the end of her life.

Quickly she sent a text to Xavier, just in case.

- I love you, no matter what happens x-

As she heard the sound of a car pull up she shoved her phone back in her pocket. This was it. She watched as the scrawny man climbed out of the car with a sick smile on his face.

"I knew you would make the right decision sweetheart" he smirked walking towards her . "You are mine, and I think I need to remind you of that so you never forget it"

Brooke swallowed, mentally preparing herself for playing the part of an obedient little pet.

"Yes sir" She whispered trying not to throw up.

"I guess the people you call family don't actually love you seen as you are here alone" he laughed

"Suppose" She shrugged.

Not long, keep it up she reminded herself as Tom walked closer to her.

"You have put weight on my dear, that won't do at all. As soon as we get home you are going on a diet" he muttered as he put his hands on her hips

"Yes sir" She whispered.

She suddenly felt his fingers run down her face. His touch made her want to vomit.

"There is no need to be scared" he whispered, breathing down her neck.

Brooke hated every second of this plan, with a passion. Staring at the bastard that stole so much of her life. She tried not to throw up or plunge her knife into his neck. Not her anyway.

"How much longer are we waiting" Xavier sighed running his hands through his hair

"Not long now bro, just a little bit longer. Bee is clever she knows the plan" James whispered.

Xavier peaked through the gap in the brushes, he could see Brooke stood there frozen, her hand was shoved into the pockets of her jacket and knew full well she was gripping the handle of the knife so tight. She looked so scared.

"I'm not sure about that jay look" Be whispered, moving out the way so he could look through the space.

"Shit" he muttered before getting his phone out, frantically texting the guys.

"Change of plan" he smiled texting again "Xav everyone is in their places make the signal"

Without another thought he started making bird sounds. Looking back through the gap he watched Brooke's expression change. She looked relieved.

"You think you control me?" She spat in his face.

"You think you own me, you think I'm your play thing that will do whatever you want me to? Well bitch you are wrong, I will never be yours. You have taken too much of my life and now I'm regaining control" Brooke shouted.

Watching. Waiting. Tom didn't say anything except he laughed.

"You think someone as weak as you is going to take me down" he spat.

“Come Brooke, just stab him” Xavier mumbled

She looked around the woods, her eyes landing on Xavier’s. He smiled at her, letting her know she was doing great. With a simple nod from me she smirked.

"That's the thing bitch, you haven't had me for god knows how many years. You don't know what I've been up to. You don't know I strong I have fucking got" she laughed pulling her hand out of her pocket revealing the knife she was clutching.

“Come on baby you got this” he whispered

Without a second thought Brooke forward, plunging the knife into Tom's leg causing him to scream.

"You will pay for that slut" he screamed

"No I don't think I will," she smirked whilst she laughed in his face.

The next thing she knew she was surrounded by 20 men. They should have known he wouldn't have come alone. For a second Xavier saw the fear in Brooke's eyes, then followed by a smirk.

"Awwww how cute. Let play bitches" she laughed pulling one of the hand guns out of her jacket.

"Bro are we moving in?" James asked.

"No not yet, let her do her thing and then we will go in. She needs this" Xavier whispered not taking his eyes off Brooke.

One gunshot, two gunshots, three gunshots and a lot of screaming followed

"Now" Xavier whispered to James and sent the text.

As Xavier walked out into the clearing, none of Tom's men saw him as they were too focused on Brooke who was standing in front of them with a gun. Walking up behind her Xavier slid my arms around her waist, breathing in her scent.

"Nice work princess" He smirked, looking round, taking his gun out of my waistband. He gently kissed Brooke whilst shooting another one in the head.

"When we get back you are so teaching me that" she laughed making him smile.

"Let's play bitches" she smirked pointing her gun at another guy.

Thirty minutes had passed and everyone was dead, bar Tom, who had taken shelter in his Range Rover.

"Oh you can hide but you won't get far" Brooke screamed as she reloaded her gun and pointed to the car. She emptied the magazine with a smirk.

"Get him out of the car" she shouted to some of the club.

Within seconds Tom was in front of them, forced to his knees.

Brooke took a new gun from her waist band, taking the safety off she pointed the gun directly on his face.

"You will never shoot me" he laughed

"Oh is that what you think?" she smirked, shooting his knee cap. "You were saying" she laughed.

Out of the corner of my eye Xaviers eye saw his dad, Brooke's dad and James walk up looking worried. Holding his hand out to signal them to stop.

"You took so much of my life, turned me weak. Made me hate myself, made me forget my family. You made me think everything was my fault. You beat me till I could take any more. You raped me" she shouted as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

Xavier wrapped my arms around her waist. Brooke leaned back into Xavier’s chest letting his scent keep her grounded.

"But most of all you took my fucking dignity and I'm done. I'm done with your games. I'm done with feeling weak. I'm done with feeling like a victim. But most of all I am done with you. Do you know what? I am not weak. I am a fucking survivor."

The next sound that was heard was the gunshot and Tom's body going limp.

"It's over baby" Xavier whispered kissing her head pulling her into his arms, just holding her as she sobbed into his chest.

[oohfluffy]

TIHM Ch.5 |BBH

Group: EXO

Member: Byun Baekhyun

Theme: Angst | Fluff | Rated M | University!AU | Football!AU

Word Count: 4,173

chapter 5

You slumped against the wall, your usual spot on the 4th floor, the Composition Studies of Music Department. You took out your lunch box with a satisfied sigh, taking in the comforting silence around you. You looked up at the hallways, eyes drifting at the last door where you last heard the beautiful piece last week. 

"Not playing today, huh?" You mumbled to yourself as you opened your lunch box filled with cheese buldak, spicy chicken dish with lots of cheese on top. You figured how to cook it when Jiwon showed you a video of the recipe, and she kept on saying that you should try to cook it with her and you did. You were surprised with the result as you don't really eat spicy food often.

You picked your chopsticks and started digging in, chewing loudly as you tasted the flavorful spices along the soft white meat of the chicken. You smiled to yourself as you thought that your grandma would probably be proud of you, managing to cook good dishes now without her guidance.

As you continued eating in peace, a hard press in the piano keys made you look up in expectation. It was a single note and was not even a clean one, but your heart thumped in anticipation. You munched on your food slowly, putting your lunch box on your lap. 

You were expecting a piece to be played, but you waited for a few minutes already and nothing was played.

You frowned as you finished your food in disappointment. You packed your box quickly before standing up. You slowly walked towards the hallway, careful and not making a single noise. The last door was closed. It was a glass door but with blinds inside, so you can't really see how the room looks like from the outside.

You wondered why the person didn't continue playing.

You stood there for a while, still expecting that he or she would play something, but to no avail, you were left with silence. Giving up, you moved towards the elevator and pressed the down button. You waited until the doors opened and you entered with a frown, expectation not met. You pressed the close button, when a shout surprised you inside.

"WAIT! Don't close the doors, please!"

You instantly pressed the open button, eyes wide as you looked up. Your lips parted in awe and shock as you see a disheveled gray-haired guy with a red polo shirt—buttons open crazily like someone just snapped it open in an instant. And you prayed that's not the case. You looked away as you saw a lipstick stain on his neck, so red that you silently agreed with your first assumption. 

"It's you." He breathed out as he smiled in recognition, walking inside the lift quickly. He was even the one who pressed the close button, eyes on you as he did. "We keep bumping into each other, huh?"

You kept silent as you looked at your side—the elevator wall, trying to ignore the feminine scent that he has right now. You just let your mind wander to different kinds of questions, distracting yourself from his smouldering stare.

Why was he in this floor and building? Is he probably a student of the Music department? 

Your eyes widened as you looked in front, a possible incredulous thought passing in your mind. 

Don't tell me he's the one in the piano room, doing his dirty deeds inside of it?!

You stared at his figure on the elevator doors, which reflects your images clearly. Your fiery accusing gaze probably pierced through him as he suddenly stared back at you through the doors. You looked away in surprise.

"I can't believe you're really shy and quiet." He chuckled as he continued staring at you. You breathed out a relieved sigh as the doors opened, reaching the ground floor. You instantly went out when he walked quickly with you. "Hey, are you avoiding me?"

"Can you button up your shirt first and clean yourself up?" You couldn't contain your embarrassed state as you looked back at him with a grimace. "You don't look presentable right now, so I can't talk to you."

He looked surprised that you managed to say all that in one go, but then a smirk formed on his face. This so-called Baekhyun guy followed your advice and tried buttoning them all, but then two at the top fell off clumsily, making you follow them roll hopelessly on the ground.

"Oops." Baekhyun breathed out with a playful tone, eyes darting up at yours. "I guess she was too desperate earlier?"

With your cheeks on fire, you turned away from him and walked as fast as you can to your next class. You gripped on the straps of your bag tightly as you turned swiftly on the corner, occasionally looking back in case that guy followed you.

How the hell can he be so confident about such matters?!

"So scary." You mumbled as you breathlessly sat down on your seat in the room. You were the only one inside as you were 30 minutes early for this class. "I really hope they didn't make a mess in the piano room." 

You don't know how would your favorite, yes favorite, pianist react if he or she sees such dirty affairs inside his or her place. It would probably make him or her stop playing there, no? You frowned at the thought. You hope not.

That pervert.

"Hey, Ji!" 

You looked up as you heard a familiar high-pitched voice call out. It was Irene with her gang. They were looking at you with smiles on their faces as they walked towards you. You looked around, trying to see if they were calling you or someone else.

Ji? If I remember correctly, my name's Saejin.

"Come with us later!" Seulgi exclaimed as she sat next to your chair, eyes glancing at her friends before looking back at you. "There will be a party at the Kim's mansion, we should go together!"

"The Kim's?" You asked silently, pushing back the more relevant questions like why are they inviting me, why all of a sudden are they back to talking to me, are they up to something. 

"The captain of the football team! Don't know them?" Yeri feigned shock as she looked at you, her hand on her mouth ridiculously. 

"We saw you with Kim Jiwon last Friday though, so you probably know them, right?" Joy piped in as she looked down on her nails, a nail filer in her grasp. 

"Of course, she knows them! They're the hottest and most popular guys around campus." Wendy smirked as she leaned towards your desk, a glint of teasing in her gaze. "Surely, Ji won't pass on the opportunity to get close to them, right?"

The girls giggled at Wendy's remark, which probably had an underlying inside joke for you. You looked down on your lap, not knowing how to counter these kinds of conversation.

"Just come with us, and you don't know maybe..." Irene smiled, that innocent one that creeps into your nerves and screams evil to you at the same time. "...you could catch one or more hottie in your web?"

No thanks. 

"I think Jiwon would be there as well? I heard her saying that she'll ask you to come too. We're just so excited that we invited you first." Yeri grinned, patting your shoulder as she sat behind you.

Is it just me or I feel like I'm being surrounded by witches?

—

The bell rang, and as quick as bees, the class buzzed instantly. Everyone, yes, everyone stood up excitedly and talked loudly as if the professor went out already. You glanced at Mr. Lee in pity as he sighed while looking at his last class before going out in relief.

"Now, let's go!" 

That was the last shout you heard from Irene before you were dragged out by the girls.

You're in it for huge trouble.

You cringed as you were pressed hard in between Yeri and Joy on the back seat of the car. Irene was on the passenger seat beside her driver, while Wendy and Seulgi on the rear seat at the back of yours. It was the first time they were going with you together in one car. They never did in the past months of hanging with you.

What's with tonight's event? Why do they need to drag me with them? Is it because Jiwon wants me there too? That's impossible. She would have told me last night if she did.

"Are you excited, Ji?" Joy asked with an enthusiastic voice, combing her hair with her hand. "It will be much more exciting now because of your presence."

"Yeah! Junmyeon's parties are the best!" Seulgi squealed at the back while taking a selfie with Wendy. "It's so good that his parents aren't always home."

"Everyone can go crazy as much as they want." Irene looked back at you with a smirk. 

That makes me want to go home more.

"I-I don't think I want to go." You bravely said as you looked around. "I'm sure Jiwon can handle herself."

"No. It's your time to free yourself from loneliness, you know! You've been too silent and timid that no one wants to approach you." Yeri furrowed her brows as she looked at you. "If you're worrying about the past," She looked at her friends, lips curling but then frowning in a second. "nothing will go wrong now. Everyone has forgotten about it already."

"Yeah. We'll be with you throughout the party. Jiwon can join us!" Wendy smiled.

Is it really okay? I don't feel comforted by that though.

"O-Okay."

"That's better." Irene proudly looked in front with a smile. "We're here anyway."

As soon as you went out the car, your eyes fed on the majestic aesthetics of the mansion. There were lots of cars parked on the space near the gates, but they didn't hinder you from appreciating the features of the place. It's as if a prince lives inside that mansion. Everyone was buzzing with excitement as they entered the gates, guards welcoming the incoming guests for the night. It was still 5pm, but a lot of people were here already.

"I think I just saw Cha Eunwoo with his girlfriend for this week." Joy gasped as she grabbed her lipstick in her bag. She instantly applied a bright red color on her lips, smacking her lips loudly. "Does it look good?" She turned to you and her friends with a smile.

"Good enough to snatch him away from his date." Yeri showed her a thumbs up, supporting her friend.

He has a girlfriend though? Is that okay?

You furrowed your eyebrows as Wendy looped her arm on yours, and Seulgi on the other side. You were surprised by the intimacy, but you paid no mind to it as you went with the flow. Joy walked in first, her hips seductively swaying as she confidently went to follow the guy.

"W-Will she be okay?" You asked quietly to the girls as you entered the doors. Your eyes were wide as you took in the mansion's interior. It was bright as the white wallpaper with gold intricate designs welcomed you, the wooden staircase at the middle of the receiving area captivated you. The sparkling chandelier on the high ceiling made your eyes light up in awe. 

It indeed looks like a castle.

"Stop gawking, we know it's so beautiful." Yeri laughed as she noticed your gaping mouth. "Regretting now for not attending parties for the past years?"

You weakly smiled as you took in the buzzing crowd around the place. The girls went to the living room, where not a lot of people were hanging. Probably because more were in the kitchen or the open area? You don't know how huge this place was, but it might fit in all the students in campus.

"I can see the buffet table!" Seulgi screamed as she let go of your arm, eyes on the long table of food. Your eyes widened in surprise at how expensive every dish looks like. 

"I can see the drinks at the bar." Irene smirked as she automatically went to the bar by the corner of the area. "I'll see ya'll later. I'm gonna take a drink before this party starts."

"I'll go with Seulgi!" Yeri said as she followed her friend excitedly. You were left with Wendy, who just tugged you down to a sofa. You watched as a bunch of girls started to approach her with smiles on their faces, until their eyes fell on you.

"Hey, Wendy! It's nice to see you!" A blonde girl said as she grinned at Wendy, who greeted her back. The girl's eyes went back to you, and you can visibly notice the grimace on her face. "You're with her?"

"Ah yes. We brought her here tonight..." Wendy grinned as she looked at you. "...so she could have fun for the first time in two years after that incident." Her eyes were shining with a prodding sharp look. Like she was pushing you to say something.

"Oh!" The blonde girl's lips curled into amusement as she looked at you. Her gaze became different. It was not disgust now, but full of anticipation. "I see. Well then, enjoy the night, Lee Saejin. Let go all of your worries tonight." Wendy stood up and chatted with them.

With that, Wendy was quickly among the crowd. 

"When will Jiwon arrive?" You asked yourself as you looked around. Everyone was having their own businesses. Most of them were chatting loudly as if they haven't seen each other for a long time, some were drinking beer or champagne (how elegant), and some were doing things you would not do in a party—making out.

You looked away as soon as you see a couple sucking each other's face off. You'd rather watch the news right now than see a live show. You can hear a dj greeting the crowd on the open area behind the mansion, and following that was the loud music blasting across the air. You stood up as most of the people went out to the start of the party. Even the girls you were with earlier were out of sight.

"Better alone than with plastics." You muttered as you took a barbeque stick from the buffet table. You took a bite from it and instantly craved for more. "It's good as expected."

As you walked around the table, not hesitating to take bits of food on each dish, you cautiously looked at the paintings hung on the wall. They look like they were from ancient times, historical and intricately made by well-known painters. You wondered how rich Kim Junmyeon's family was.

"I told you she'll be here early! She'll come looking for you as soon as she arrives!"

"Shut up! Just don't tell anyone I'm here. Tell her I'm dead."

"As if she'll fall for that same reason that you told all of your girls before."

"Just listen to me, Sehun. Let her—"

When you looked down on the buffet table, you got to have a glimpse of two guys near the living room. They were talking by the door when a familiar face noticed you. Your hand was on the air with a barbeque stick when you met his eyes. Your face dropped.

"Go out and do it, maknae." Baekhyun pushed his friend out before trudging towards you with a grin.

"Oh no." You mumbled as you walked around the long buffet table, trying to avoid his approach. When you turned the corner, Baekhyun must have seen your move and followed. Sensing that he would not let you go, you face him with an obvious grimace to keep him off your back. "Hi."

"I see that you look really happy to see me, huh?" Baekhyun chuckled at his sarcastic remark, eyes sparkling with amusement. "You wound me, love."

"I'm just glad you look presentable now." You said as you walked passed him and went to the bar, where different kinds of drinks were. You grabbed a can of coke, settling for soda instead of beer. You see Baekyun's hand grabbing a glass with tequila and lime.

"Well, I wanted to please you, so I followed your advice." He slyly said, following you as you went back to the sofa—the only place you could go for now. But that idea seems to be not that good as you saw Baekhyun glance at the couple by the side, almost doing the deed shamelessly. "What a sight." He whistled.

Your cheeks were on fire as you went to the other way, leaving the shitty living room. You can hear Baekhyun's laugh as he followed you. You hastily went to the double doors that probably led to the open area as you hear the noise getting louder. 

"Hey."

Before you can even hear him say nonsense, you opened the door and went outside. His voice got covered by the party music played by the dj. You quickly slipped in the crowd despite the noise and energy of these people, wanting to be out of sight of that playboy. Different colors of lights played around the area as people jumped and danced the night away. You almost spilled your coke on someone as they bumped into you.

"Sorry!" You muttered every time you bumped on to someone or the other way round. You wonder if Jiwon was around here? "Where can I stay in peace?" You sighed as you found a little space by the corner.

"Oh! Just the person we were looking for!"

You looked back at the crowd and saw Irene with the girls, smiles on their faces as they approached you. You didn't feel great when a bright light hit your face, as if you were placed on a hot seat. 

"Let's greet our guest of honor tonight! Lee Saejin!" The dj shouted with a grin as he lowered the volume of the music. You looked shocked as you looked around, feeling so small at how the people stare at you while whispering to each other. 

"She said she'll be participating in the shots game!" Seulgi exclaimed as she raised a tall glass of an almost clear drink with a lemon on the top. It has a tinge of pink, which looks aesthetic, but you know it was alcohol. "Who wants to do it with her?"

Still surprised of what was happening, you looked at them incredulously as you processed what Seulgi just said.

"Oh? No one wants to? Well, that was expected." She giggled, making the crowd laugh along with her. "Who would want to, right? You might get poisoned and she might take you to bed. That's her specialty, right?"

As the laughters became louder, your mind did not know what to do. You can see all of them looking at you with distaste, if not, they looked amused with whatever's happening to you right now. You looked at Irene who started to approach you, the drink in her hand.

"The audience is waiting. Don't disappoint us, hm?" She sweetly said as she placed the glass in your hand. "Just drink it in one go, and we'll leave you alone."

Your eyes watered as the embarrassment filled your system, feeling your hands tremble as the coldness of the glass touched your skin. This was not simply humiliating, but it was painful for you. 

Why does the past keep on hunting you? Why can't they just leave me alone? I didn't do anything wrong. They just weren't on my side. They choose to believe the wrong.

"A-Are you sure you'd do that?" Your voice cracked as you lifted the glass to your chest, the strong scent hitting your nose. You cringed at the smell, but you tried keeping a straight face.

"Yes, Ji."

With a submissive nod, which you didn't like at all, you drank the liquid.

"OOOH." The crowd cheered as you drank the alcoholic beverage. It stung your throat as if flames started to spread throughout your system, burning everything that it passed through. Your eyes were filled with tears while you gulped down everything.

"Lee Saejin is as wild as ever!" The dj shouted in glee before continuing with the loud music. "LET'S PARTY HARD!"

Dropping the empty glass in front of Irene, you glared at the people for the last time before walking away. It wasn't until a few steps when you almost fell down on the ground.

"Woah there, slut." You heard a disgusting voice whisper as his arms wrapped around your waist. "Feeling hot? Wanna go somewhere less crowded?"

"Wanna go to fucking hell, man?!"

Your blurry vision didn't help as you balanced yourself, trying to push the guy away. You thought it was easy as the arms on your waist were gone in a second. Your eyes went down to the ground, trying to focus your eyesight, when a body dropped next to your feet. Your eyes widened a bit in surprise, your feet moving back in instinct. You don't recognize the face but he seems to be that guy that grabbed you earlier. 

"Come here, Saejin." 

You almost moved away when a hand grabbed your waist securely, leading you out of that stuffy and scary place. Scarier than the dark restroom. Your mind was probably not working that well now as you followed his lead.

In a minute of walking, your eyes were already filled with tears. Everything came back to you in a blink, tears started flowing down your cheeks. You hiccuped all of a sudden before sobbing with your hands trembling.

"Hey, hey. Shh." The person, who led you out to somewhere that looks like a garden, shushed you with a comforting rub on the back. "I'm sorry that happened. I guided him to hell. That won't happen again, I swear."

You just sobbed louder, hands clutching at your shirt, a habit of yours whenever you cry. With a sigh, he made you sit on a bench. Fortunately, the garden was empty and silent. Only your cries and sobs were heard.

"W-Why is it so hard to move forward?" You cried as you looked down on your lap, voice trembling with emotions that he couldn't comprehend. His arm was still around your waist, until he realized he was too comfortable with that that he didn't think what you were feeling about it. He quickly gave you space, moving his arm away and scooting farther from you.

He kept silent as he watched you try to contain your pained cries.

"I didn't do anything..." You whispered as tears continued to taint your rosy cheeks. He badly wanted to wipe them away, to make you stop hurting, to hug you tight, to let you forget those painful memories. He doesn't know what happened that made you cry like this, but it surely is not just about the guy harassing you. It's something more.

"Why do they hate me so much? Why me?"

"I don't." His voice soft and gentle as he spoke, making you look up at him. With tears in your eyes, cheeks wet, and trembling lips, you still looked breathtaking for him. You're beautiful. "I don't hate you, love."

You let out a sob as you stared into his eyes. All the rational things going out of the window.

"W-Why?"

"Because I can't see anything that will make me hate you."

"I-It's because you don't know me."

"I do though. You're Lee Saejin, the clumsy, quiet, smart, and straightforward girl that's too shy to admit she's a fan of the team." He smiled, a hand reaching to wipe a stray tear away from your cheeks. You flinched as his warm fingers touch your skin. 

"T-That's not the whole me."

"Well, I just need to know you better then?" He said, scooting a bit closer to you with a gentle smile. You continued looking at him with those eyes. A look that he thinks that wants him. "Stop looking at me like that, love. Or else I might just bite you."

His eyes widened in surprise as your head fell on his shoulder. 

"I feel so tired facing them..." You whispered as your eyes closed. "I'm so tired fighting."

His heart ached at your voice. The one that made his smile waver. His arms were like moving on their own as they wrapped themselves around you. You scooted closer to him as you felt comfort in his warm embrace. The cold wind of the night blew against the bed of grass and flowers around you.

It was the most peaceful moment you've ever had in the past years of hurting.

"We'll face them together then." He whispered as his fingers combed through your loose hair, gently rubbing your head. "Baekhyun will be with you, hm."

With those last words from his mouth, he leaned his head on yours before he closed his eyes.

—

♫ Ch.6

[rainandhotchocolate]

Rejection

A/N Hey! Sorry I know I’ve been AWOL for a week, cause I was finishing up a freelance project but here’s a stupidly long fic for you all! It’s 7k, it was meant to be a oneshot but I just kept writing and well here we are lel

TO the requester, sorry this is more fluffy than angsty... I just really wanted some idiotic Sirius trash OOPs - feel free to send me another message if you want me to write something more angsty!!

Request:  If you take requests, can I request an angsty imagine/fic with sirius where the reader confesses her love for him, but he rejects her and is basically really mean to her? It can have a happy ending or an angsty ending😂

Length: 7k

TW: Mentions of injuries, Sirius being mean/an idiot

Rejection

It was like a large, human shaped slap in the face, that had annoyingly soft black curls that trailed over his face. Sirius Black seemed to tower over the bar, eyes looking expectantly at her as he asked again for a whiskey and coke, in a short glass.

“Uh… hello?”

“Yeah, sorry, phased out for a second there,” Y/N pulled out her best hospitality smile and poured out his drink carefully, doing her best to avoid his curious stare.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” He cocked his head to the side, continuing to stare as she busied herself with putting through his cash and finding him change.

“Oh shit, we went to school together!” He said finally, as she attempted to find another customer, groaning internally when she realised it was a Tuesday afternoon and the bar was empty. She finally looked up at him, smiling again, hoping he didn’t see the clenched fists under the bar.

Y/N couldn’t tell if she was happier or insulted that he didn’t remember her. Unfortunately, she hadn’t forgotten him, the feeling of complete and utter embarrassment rushing through every inch of her.

Y/N had had a crush on Sirius for a lifetime, ever since she saw him cheering on James at the Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw match, streamers stuck to almost every part of him, and mostly naked. Not that Sirius would have ever noticed a small mousy Ravenclaw girl who was usually in the library or reading next to the black lake.

She’d tried to get over him, but it was like every time he did something stupid it seemed to make her want him more. When he jumped on the back of James’ broom after the end of a spectacular win against Slytherin she had this lurch of wanting to jump on the back with him.

Then it was seventh year, when the paper every morning brought either another disappearance or suspicious death, and Hogwarts suddenly began to feel like it wasn’t the safest place in England like it had once been. There was something about a life or death situation that started making everyone act a little crazy, from people banging around in broom closets to certain extremists, on both sides, ending up in curious places. The weirdest being floating above the middle of the Black Lake.

Y/N had every single girl in her year banging her over the head with her stupid ongoing crush with Sirius, and she was getting sick of it. Finally, she’d brought up the courage to tell him, better to tell him and know than live without knowledge, one of her friends had said sincerely, puffing out a big breath of smoke whilst she giggled loudly. Being a little high may have been another factor to her sudden decision to find Sirius and proclaim her undying love for him.

So, standing in the staircase outside the Great Hall she found him and told him, in more stuttered, uncomfortable words, exactly that. She’d not exactly expected him to return the feelings, hell she didn’t think he would necessarily recognise her. She didn’t expect him to turn around, grin at James, and then begin to cackle with laughter at her.

“Uh, yes we did,” Y/N nodded slowly, pretending to smile in recognition. Sirius grinned back at her, taking a sip from his drink.

“I’m so sorry, what was your name again?”

“Y/N.”

“Ahh of course! Sirius,” He gave out a hand as if to shake it. Y/N stared at him, trying to hold in the increasing frustration she was getting from him being so nice to her.

“Yes, enjoy your drink,” Y/N plastered on the smile again and turned away, pretending to find some glasses to shine and waiting until she’d heard him walk away, thankful for him to have left her alone.

Sirius walked away slowly, heading back towards the table where James and Remus were sitting and chatting in hushed voices.

“Hey, we went to school with the bartender,” He sat down, pointing at the brown-haired girl avidly cleaning wine glasses at the corner of the bar.

The two boys looked at each other and then back to Sirius, James’ eyebrows raised and Remus smirking slightly.

“What?” Sirius hated when they did this, act like they had some secret language between them.

“You really don’t remember her?”

“No! Should I?”

“I mean, probably,” Remus gave a short laugh, continuing to be vague. Sirius almost growled at him but instead tried rack his brains as to when he would have met her before.

“That’s Y/N man, remember seventh year? That Ravenclaw girl who cornered you before dinner with all her friends giggling behind her?” James gave him a grimace, waiting for Sirius to figure out who he was talking about. And then it hit him, the girl he’d laughed at as she said she liked him.

“Oh, Merlin’s Beard,” Sirius held his hands in his head and knocked it against the table. He wondered a little why she hadn’t thrown a drink on him, “I can’t believe I just asked what her name was.”

“You are a complete idiot,” Remus laughed loudly at him, as he lifted his head from his arms and looked incredibly uncomfortable.

“I’d thought she was joking, I thought James had put her on me because of Lily and I made him think that we’d hooked up in fifth year.”

“What! As if that’s how I would have retaliated,” James looked affronted, shaking his head, “I’m still waiting for the perfect revenge for that heart attack.”

“I actually want to die in my seat right here,” Sirius felt like his stomach was turning over and over, making himself feel nauseous.

“You could go apologise…” James continued, smirking at his very uncomfortable expression. Sirius felt like he had absolutely no idea what to do, he’d literally just made small talk with the girl he’d told was a terrible actor and should shove off.

“I really don’t think an apology would do much, I was horrible,” Sirius groaned, fingering the glass of whiskey and coke.

“Maybe we should just leave her alone, I doubt doing anything would help something that happened 3 years ago,” Remus finished off his beer, nodding at the exit. Sirius said nothing, continuing to play with the glass and overthink. There had to be something he could do, anything that would make what he did better. She couldn’t just go around thinking he was an asshole for the rest of her life.

“You can’t get everyone to like you,” James kicked him from under the table, breaking him from his stupor.

“I don’t need everyone to like me,” He grumbled in response, narrowing his eyes at the two boys who were now grinning at him.

“Look, you were an idiot, you need to accept it and move on,” Remus stood up, swinging his brown leather bag over his shoulder.

“Mmmmk” Sirius didn’t look at him, but followed his lead and stood up, finishing his drink quickly and picking up his jacket. They moved quickly out of the bar, James and Remus obviously wanting to avoid Y/N’s eyes. Sirius trailed behind them, tracking her out of the corner of his eyes whilst she continued to busy herself behind the bar. He couldn’t help but think that she was deliberately avoiding him. Stop being so self-important, he cursed himself, slowing down as they reached the door.

“Fuck,” He swore under his breath, knowing this was probably a very stupid idea, and turned on his heel to move back towards the bar and where Y/N was standing, awkwardly rubbing the counter over and over again.

“Hey look, Y/N, when do you finish?” Sirius leaned over the bar slightly to get her attention. Y/N took the longest possible time to meet his eyes, not bothering to give him the fake smile this time around. She was sure that James and Remus had reminded him of their encounter, especially since she did know Remus from her days spent in the library.

She paused momentarily debating whether she should actually tell him, part of her was wondering why on earth he wanted to know when she finished work.

“She finishes at 5,” her manager had snuck up behind her and elbowed her in the ribs, giving her a wink as he passed. Y/N pursed her lips, glaring at his back as he walked away, clearly proud of himself.

“Look, I know you probably don’t want to see me like ever again, but let me just buy you a drink and apologise,” He looked at her earnestly, his grey eyes piercing hers, “Please, just 10 minutes and then you can just take the free drinks and go.”

Y/N grumbled a little, feeling herself panic a little at the idea of having to be alone with him, 10 minutes or less.

“I promise, it will mostly be me grovelling.”

“I, uh… fine ok, but if you’re not here by 5 on the dot I’m heading home,” Y/N crossed her arms, hoping she looked remotely tough and not like her heart was beating extremely hard in her chest.

“That’s completely fair, I will see you then,” He gave her a smile and ran back over to James and Remus who were glaring darkly at him, James giving him a light slap on the back of his head and pushing him out the door.

5pm

Her manager had let her off at 5pm on the dot, making sure she didn’t make more work for herself so she wouldn’t be waiting outside for Sirius. She chewed on her nails, even though they were mostly already cut down to the skin, counting down the seconds until it reached 5:01 so that she could have the excuse to scurry off home for the evening.

Unfortunately, she saw the figure of a tall man rushing across the street waving at her, whilst trying to avoid oncoming traffic.

“Y/N!” He called out, shaking out his coat from the rain as he ran underneath the cover of the bars’  entrance, “Hey sorry, I tried to wait out the rain but I didn’t have much luck clearly.”

He gave a laugh, obviously trying to make casual conversation with her, but Y/N didn’t quite feel like making the biggest effort to make him feel better about talking to her.

“No worries.”

“Right, um I presumed you don’t want to drink where you work, there’s a pub down the road from here that’s nice,” Sirius looked incredibly awkward and Y/N couldn’t help but enjoy feeling like he might feel a smidgeon of the embarrassment she endured for the last 5 months of seventh year with people jeering at her in corridors, miming her ridiculous spouting of love.

“Yeah that’s fine,” She nodded at him to lead the way. They walked in silence, collars up to avoid the cold wind that had begun to whip through the streets of London. Sirius pushed the door open to the pub and ushered her in to get out of the cold, following her in.

There was a rush of warm air that immediately made her feel perfectly dry, and made her realise they were in a wizards pub. It was incredibly busy, with a mixture of older and younger wizards and witches chatting loudly, little goblets of warm butterbeer floating above the crowds and being sent to different tables as they ordered. Y/N had heard about this place, a lot of her friends met up here after work at the Ministry or St Mungo’s, but Y/N had so far avoided it, the busyness of it all making her wholly overwhelmed.

And anyway, she’d recently charmed the cash register at her own bar to convert galleons to pounds and vice versa so she could meet her friends there after work instead. She was regretting that at this exact moment, however, wondering if it was the sign she’d placed above the entrance that could only be seen by wizards that had lured the marauders into the bar in the first place.

As if he could sense her discomfort Sirius ushered Y/N up the stairs and towards the smaller room on top of the pub’s main floor where it was quieter.

“Sorry, I forgot that it was peak time for 9-5ers,” He gestured to a booth in the corner of the room, and pulled out a chair for her to sit down in. Whilst all these actions seemed gentlemanly, she couldn’t help but feel suspicious of him being so kind, what was his angle?

“So I’m guessing you don’t work an office job?” Y/N attempted to make conversation, as he sat down opposite her, gesturing to a waiter who was waiting at the edge of the room.

“No, I work in hospitality too actually, a muggle pub in Soho,”

“Oh,” Y/N couldn’t seem to hide her surprise quickly enough, but luckily was interrupted by the waiter asking what they’d like to drink.

“Pint of Guinness thanks, what were you after?”

“A white wine is fine.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow at her.

“Are you sure? You can get something a bit more fun; I promise it’s on me regardless.”

“Do you have Hibiki Whiskey?”

“We do, Miss.”

“I’ll have that on the rocks.” The waiter nodded and walked off quickly.

“Good choice,” Sirius smiled at her again and Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if this was his hospitality smile coming through, “So, surprised I work in hospo?”

“Oh I, uh, I mean a little,” Y/N stumbled, hating herself a little for not wanting to offend him, “I guess it’s just cause you and James were top of the year, I think we all expected you to become Aurors.”

“Fair enough, I thought I was going to do that as well,” Y/N thought she saw his grey eyes darken slightly but he was back to his light and happy demeanour in less than a second, “I guess I just figured there are other ways to be helping out wizardkind.”

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at that, his heroic expression and oddly cryptic words.

“Right.”

The silence between them was very awkward and Sirius shifted uncomfortably in his seat, clearly racking his brain for something else to say.

“So I guess I should really be apologising to you right about now,” He gave a little chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, but continued when Y/N refused to change her blasé expression, “I am really very sorry for how I treated you in school Y/N, I promise I didn’t intend to make fun of you or anything.”

“So, you just accidentally made me a laughingstock for the rest of my final year?” Y/N was surprised to hear the spite in her words but made an effort to keep her expression still and calm. Sirius grimaced, not replying until the waiter, who had brought over their drinks, had sidled away from them.

“I… look I know this sound ridiculous and you have every right to continue thinking I’m a right twat, but I sort of thought that James was playing a prank on me.”

“…What?”

“Well, it started when he superglued my paw- uh feet into my… shoes. I was stuck for a whole day,” Sirius hurried his story when Y/N didn’t laugh. Y/N personally felt proud of herself for not giving him the satisfaction, when she really did want to hear the rest of the story, “Well anyway it escalated to some relationship stuff and I sort of thought James had told you to create the most awkward thing I’d have to deal with...”

“What, dealing with someone else’s feelings?”

“Uh… yes?”

“Isn’t that a bit pathetic?”

“I mean I’m not standing up for myself here, I was a complete idiot, for both, what I did and not being able to handle other’s feelings very well,” He grinned sheepishly at her, taking a large gulp of his Guinness. Was he actually uncomfortable right now? Y/N really couldn’t tell if this was all just an elaborate lie or not, but it would be a pretty shit lie to tell.

“At least that’s something we can agree on.”

“Yeah, so I mean, do you believe me?”

Y/N sighed, so this is what it was, pandering his ego so that he could feel better about himself and forget that he ever did anything so terrible.

“Look I guess so, it would be a pretty terrible lie and I have a feeling you’re not an awful liar given the number of detentions you managed to get out of,” Y/N took a big gulp of the whiskey, savouring the burn that went down her throat.

“So… why are you working in hospitality? Ravenclaw like you would have expected big things as well,” Sirius seemed even more uncomfortable than before. Y/N also want to hit him a little bit, Ravenclaw stereotypes always got her riled up.

“Sirius, I’ve forgiven you, I believe you’re an idiot and didn’t mean to make me feel like shit, what are you still doing here?”

Sirius looked very taken aback, his cheeks flushing a bright red. He pulled his fingers through his hair, letting it fall down across his face and hide his eyes.

“I’m sorry I really didn’t want this to come across like that I just, I guess I wanted to make an effort to actually get to know you. So, I knew who I’d hurt.”

Y/N had no idea how to reply to that. It was annoyingly pragmatic, wanting to know who you’d hurt so they weren’t just a memory but a whole person.

“I totally understand if you want me to leave.”

“No, I get what you’re saying,” you’re an idiot you’re an idiot.

Sirius seemed to relax, leaning back into his chair with his pint held lazily in his hand. Y/N took the chance to put more alcohol in her system and avoid his gaze. She could feel her heartbeat increasing ever so slightly every time he looked at her and wished there was an easy spell to tell your body to shut it.

“So, was there a reason you decided to work at a bar?”

“Oh, well I originally wanted to work as a healer, but I guess I wanted to take a break from studying and all that, you know,” And she’d had to watch her parents slowly fade away after death eaters had found them in their holiday home two summers ago.

“Yeah I get that, that was kind of how I felt as well.”

They continued to chat for the better part of an hour, Sirius keeping his promise to cover the bill and said he would walk her home given that it was the middle of winter and the sun had long since gone down. They made small talk throughout the short walk over to her apartment building, both ignoring the fact that she probably could have apparated home much quicker.

“So, this is me,” Y/N nodded towards her apartment building which was a very ugly brown colour and regularly had fire alarms go off.

“Right of course, so uh thanks for letting me buy you a drink, and feed my ego,” Sirius smiled at her, putting out his hand for Y/N to shake.

“Yeah no worries, thanks for the expensive whiskey I guess,” She shook it and smiled back at her, pushing down the thought that had been plaguing her since she met him after work you idiot you idiot.

“And, well I wanted to say sorry again. If I could go back and curse everyone who was a prat to you in Seventh year I really would.”

“Well I mean they still exist.”

“Well then, my week will be spent hunting them down and making them spew slugs,” Sirius grinned, stepping back and towards the street corner, “I’ll see you around, I’m sure.”

“Yep,” Y/N gave him a last awkward nod and turned around to unlock her door. Before she could stop herself, she flicked her eyes towards the corner to see if he was still there, but he’d disappeared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N was surprised that Sirius had also kept his promise to see her around, making sure to stop by the bar semi-regularly and stopping to chat, and always left a tip. In fact, it had slowly become a regular occurrence for Sirius to stop in after his own shifts at work or on a Sunday afternoon when he knew she worked and had time to chat if he sat up at the bar.

“Waiting for your boy,” Her manager had winked at her the previous Sunday, obviously noticing Y/N’s incessant habit of checking the door every few minutes even though she knew he worked late on Saturdays and wasn’t usually up until 12.

“He’s not my boy, he’s just a friend,” Y/N had replied weakly, looking quickly away from the door and smiling at another customer who had leaned over the bar to get her attention.

However, one day he’d stopped coming. At first, Y/N had thought perhaps he’d just decided not to come, but after a whole week Y/N had begun to think otherwise.

She pushed him from her mind, but couldn’t help glancing over at the door subconsciously every so often as if he was going to wander through the door with a wide grin and a ridiculously wild story of where he’d been all week. Y/N hated it but she’d really become accustomed to his visits, enjoying chatting to him about work, his friends, her friends, the escapades himself and the boys got up to when he had a day off.

Stop getting sucked into boys being prats she scolded herself for wondering about him again when she walked home after work that night, huffing and speeding up, enjoying the feeling of the cool air whipping her face.

“Y/N?” A voice called out to her in the dark. Y/N immediately whipped out her wand, turning to the steps leading to her apartment where the voice had come from. Lumos she thought, her wand shining onto the top step, revealing a figure hunched over and leaning on the marble pillars that sat beside the door.

“Merlin’s beard, Sirius?” Y/N stood momentarily in shock before rushing over to him, getting rid of the light on her wand in case any of her neighbours came around the corner, “What are you doing?”

“I -uh, may have done something a little bit stupid,” He grimaced, pulling open his coat and revealing what looked like a huge gash across his chest.

“What on earth is that! Why didn’t you go to St Mungo's?” She shook her head at him but leaned down and helped him up, all the same, leading him into her apartment building and towards her home.

She huffed, trying to hold him up whilst she unlocked the door, nearly falling over as she pushed him through the door and onto the nearest couch, closing the door with her foot.

“Well, what I was doing wasn’t exactly legal…” He groaned as he sat down again, pressing a hand onto his injury and trying to straighten his body so it wasn’t contorted.

“Why am I not surprised,” Y/N huffed, busying herself in the kitchen, grabbing a mixture of potion ingredients she’d kept around since she’d attempted to go through the healer training.

“I’m sorry to just turn up like this, I just remembered you know a bit about dark injuries and the boys didn’t exactly know where I was going and fuck” He groaned louder this time, his head banging back into the top of the couch.

“Take off your coat and shirt, if anything the material is going to be making it sting more than necessary,” Y/N placed a heap of magical ingredients and a small cauldron onto the sitting room table, placing a mixture into it and setting it alight. She couldn’t help but glance up every few moments as he winced, pulling off his clothes to reveal his tanned and annoyingly muscular chest. The gash also looked much much worse now that there was nothing covering it, a deep black line that seemed to have burnt a hole so deep she could see his pink flesh in the middle.

“You know you’re going to have to tell me what you did so I can actually do something you help you,” Y/N grabbed some disinfectant and began dabbing the wound softly, kneeling on the carpet in front of him. He didn’t reply, just wincing at her touch as she made her way along his chest, careful to only press as hard as needed. She definitely didn’t need her neighbours hearing someone screaming from her lounge, especially when she already suspected they thought she was a little odd.

“Sirius,” Y/N murmured again, softer this team, sitting back on her heels when she’d finished disinfecting the wound and looking up at him.

“Look, I just… I just need something to help it heal ok? I’ll be out of your hair in no time,” He replied finally, through gritted teeth.

“Don’t be stupid, Black, I couldn’t give a rats ass what you were up to ok? I’m not going to go about sharing it with the world, but you know as good as anyone that this is obviously dark magic and dark magic always needs something extra to get the healing process started. Unless you want that to eat right through your chest?”

Y/N gave him a small smile and he sighed loudly, wincing at the effect it had on his chest.

“Yeah right ok,” He grumbled but sat up a little, letting her get a better look at it, “I’d heard of some death eater activity on the outskirts of Oxford, from Bellatrix Lestrange – not sure if you remember her from school? She was the Slytherin with black hair and bitchy demeanour?”

He laughed at himself and then winced again as his lungs pushed out and moved the wound.

“Alright enough with the jokes, what did she do to you then?”

“Well, uh, she and I have a bit of a history of hating each other, and she seemed to think it would be funny to cast the fun ol’ obtusiore nouacula curse on me.”

“Shit, Sirius, you’re lucky she didn’t get to your heart.”

“Yes, lucky man am I,” He tried to smile at her again, slowly slipping lower into the chair. Y/N got him to stand up again, arm around her shoulder and moved him to the couch so he could lie flat.

“Don’t you dare try to get up again, this isn’t something that’s going to heal overnight. I’m going to put a salve on it to stop it from spreading for the minute but it’s going to take me some time to put together the potions that will stop it from spreading and begin to heal the skin,” Y/N started to leaf through some of the books she had grabbed, finding the right pages and making sure she had all the necessary ingredients. Sirius watched her silently, letting his body relax into the soft couch, feeling relief wash over him for the first time in 24 hours.

“Thank you,” He said quietly, reaching over to grab her forearm, making Y/N look up at him. Sirius swore he saw her blush lightly, but she dropped her head quickly before he could give her a proper look.

“You can thank me by not chasing after death eaters by yourself,” She muttered, but was smiling all the same, “I’ll put on the TV.”

With a flick of her hand the small television in the corner had switched on, blasting Bewitched loudly.

“What a classic,” Sirius snorted.

“I just feel so separated from the wizarding world sometimes I need to see what’s going on.”

“This is most definitely not the way to do that.”

“Shut up and let me make potions so you don’t die.”

Sirius put his hands up in defeat, grinning mischievously, and turning back to watch the episode.  They sat in silence as Y/N brewed the first potion that would let him at least sleep without pain, and started on the next as Sirius began to drift in and out of sleep. She watched him, leaning into the couch, his eyes closing slowly and opening quickly every few minutes as his body contorted awkwardly.

Y/N got him to sit up slowly, bringing the potion over to him and lifting it to his mouth so that he could sip it slowly. It was clear that he was losing the adrenaline that had got him to her apartment and likely even awake given the intensity of the wound.

“Ok come on, let’s get you into bed so you can actually go to sleep,” Y/N lifted up his arms slowly so that he could start pushing himself up off the couch and help drag himself into her bedroom.

“I can just sleep on the couch you know,” Sirius mumbled into her arm, the weight of his body leant almost entirely against her. Y/N lay him down on her bed, pulling off his shoes and putting a blanket over his legs.

“Shut up, Sirius,” She snorted at him trying to get back up off the bed and barely lifting himself upright, “Look it’s fine, sleep here, I’ll be in the other room. I’ll probably be back in every few hours to clean your chest again so don’t get freaked out if I wake you up, alright?”

“Mmmmhmmm,” He replied into the pillow, his eyes already closed. In a few moments, he was already snoring loudly. Y/N watched him for a moment, his hair moving up and down across his face with every breath. Leave him alone you stalker, she made herself turn around and head back into the living room where the books for the remaining potions were left open. For a curse like this Sirius was going to be downing potions for a week, something which Y/N didn’t quite trust him to do by himself.

Whilst she continued to brew, she wondered if she should be getting in contact with James or someone, someone who might actually be able to help him. Someone who actually knows him.

She set an alarm so that every few hours she could wake him up and feed him some more potion, checking on his chest to see if the dark spots had started to recede from the wound instead of going further in towards the flesh of his lungs. He barely noticed her every time she woke him up, mumbling a little in his sleep.

Sirius didn’t wake up again until about midday, stretching out slowly in the bed. It felt like every muscle in his body was aching, he could feel a dull throbbing in his chest and peered down to see the bandage stuck across where his wound was. He slowly pushed himself upright, looking around the room he’d fallen asleep in, trying to blink the light out of his eyes.

The room was covered in posters of the Holyhead Harpies, the floor covered in clothes and shoes to the point where he could barely see the carpet. He groaned loudly as he got out of bed, sluggishly walking out of the room and toward the living room where he presumed Y/N had made her bed for the night. Unsurprisingly, Y/N was fast asleep on the couch and snoring loudly, one hand still on the table as if she was reaching for some more ingredients as she fell asleep.

He leaned down and tapped Y/N on her shoulder, smiling down at her as she sat up quickly looking around like she had forgotten something, finding his eyes after a few minutes of confusion.

“Oh sorry, you’re awake! I haven’t cooked anything I must have fallen asleep,” She stood up quickly, blinking her eyes quickly as if she was seeing spots.

“Sit down you idiot, I was only waking you up to see if you liked bacon. I can make us some eggs on toast,” Sirius pushed her back down on the couch and looked at her expectantly. Y/N was definitely caught off guard, her brain still riling at the fact that Sirius Black was standing over her, very much shirtless, his hair almost 10x better after sleeping on it which just made her a bit mad.

“So… breakfast?”

“Oh right, yes, yeah I’ll eat whatever. There’s stuff in the fridge I think,” She lay back into the couch, watching him saunter off into the kitchen and start pulling out a bunch of different spices and ingredients across the counter. Y/N couldn’t really remember the last time there was anyone cooking in that kitchen except for the few late-night moments when she’d made very average French toast whilst drunk.

“How are you feeling?” Y/N finally got up to join him, making a pot of coffee and sitting on the countertop sipping slowly.

“Oh, heaps better,” Sirius had begun frying up the bacon and was clearly wincing every time he had to reach for another egg to fry up, “I can be out of your hair after breakfast, promise.”

“And are you planning on telling anyone else what happened?”

“Well, I mean… probably not?” He turned to face her with a bit of a sheepish grin, plating up the fried eggs and bacon onto a large plate Y/N had forgotten she had.

“Well then you’re not going anywhere,” Y/N used her most forceful voice, trying to seem like she was doing this for her own good. Yeah, you’re not forcing him to hang out with you or anything, stalker.

Sirius frowned at her, getting some knives and forks out so they could start on breakfast. He didn’t say anything, making Y/N’s stomach form a knot and regret saying anything ever in her entire life. They dug into the food, sitting side by side on her oversized chairs under the kitchen counter.

Y/N had never been so aware of someone’s body in her life. It felt like every single movement he made beside her made her arm hairs stand on end like she’d been hit with an electric shock.

“You can obviously go though if you need. I more just meant that you know, you should at least tell someone so you can keep taking the potions and like, not die.”

“Yeah look fair,” Sirius barked a laugh, finishing off the last of his eggs, “I’ll stay another day, and I’ll make sure to pay you back for the ingredients.”

Y/N bit her lip, smiling a little uncomfortably.

“Yeah about that, we are actually going to need some more. There’s like 10 different potions you’ll need to avoid permanent damage to your lungs.”

“Well we can take a trip to Diagon Alley this afternoon, I wouldn’t mind picking up some fun curse books myself,” Sirius winked at her and grabbed her plate to wash up.

“Sit down, you fool, you need to rest,” Y/N grabbed the plates from out of his hands and nodded towards the couch.

“Alright, alright,” He collapsed onto the couch groaning loudly and curling under the blanket that Y/N had left there the night before.

Y/N spent the rest of the morning trying to avoid looking over at him as he stretched himself out on the couch, falling in and out of sleep. She ended up going to Diagon Alley by herself, wandering the street to find all the bits and pieces to finish off the potions and stopping into Flourish and Blotts to see if she could find any good books on defensive curses.

“Y/N?”

Y/N turned around quickly, surprised to bump into anyone on a Monday afternoon when all her friends had finished school and professors would be back at Hogwarts for the year. Remus was standing in front of her, holding a pile of about 10 different books and leaning backwards slightly under the weight of it all.

“Oh hey, Remus!” Y/N hadn’t spoken to him past saying hi at the bar for a few years, she wasn’t sure that she would have stopped him if she saw him here. Though to be fair, bookstores were her kryptonite and would have likely not noticed him at all, “How are you?”

“Yeah alright, I’m actually really glad I bumped into you though. We seemed to have lost Sirius – I’m sure he’s fine” He corrected, mistaking her uncomfortable expression with fear, “But you know, if you’ve heard from him at all…?”

“I uh haven’t… well I mean I saw him last we-yester,” Y/N gulped, really not wanting to lie to one of his best friends about his whereabouts when he’s probably worried sick.

“Y/N?”

“He’s at my place, sorry. I have no idea why he hasn’t said anything to you guys.”

“He’s at yours?” Remus smirked at her, his books moving a little as he clearly held back a laugh.

“Well yeah? He needed some potions for an injury… what!”

“You remember Lily, right?”

“Yes?”

“You know, his best friends’ wife and healer at St Mungo’s?”

“Oh.”

“Yep.”

Y/N bit her lip. She wasn’t 100% sure what this meant. If anything this just confirmed that Sirius really didn’t want to tell the boys what he got up to when they weren’t around.

“I mean, he did something really stupid he probably didn’t want to tell you all-“

“He’s been talking about you for about 2 months straight, Y/N, you can’t be that oblivious,” Remus teased, chuckling at her ever-reddening face. Remus was being an idiot, there was no way in hell she meant anything more to Sirius than a good friend. Or maybe he liiiiiikkes you.

“Oblivious to what! He’s the one who thought me liking him could be a prank,”

“Ok ok, well anyway can you tell him he’s a git for not telling anyone where he was for a week, and also stop messing you around,” He winked at her, nodding a goodbye seeing that he was carrying a years’ worth of reading materials. Y/N was rooted to the spot, her heart racing and stomach twisting over and over. Remus was just making fun of Sirius getting excited over a new friend, right? And anyway, it wouldn’t matter because she didn’t still like him, she had a crush on him years ago.

“Yeah, right, it wouldn’t matter.” Y/N muttered to herself, almost walking out of the store without paying. Y/N felt like she didn’t really remember how she got home, but eventually, she was placing the ingredients on the bench and fiddling with the pages of the book she had just gotten Sirius.

“Ah, the master of the house returns!” Sirius croaked from the couch, turning to face her with a sleepy smile on his face.

“Yes, I’m back, I found you a book as well. Though I got a defensive book instead of just plain old dark magic,” She put the book on the coffee table and sat next to it, “Did you take everything I left for you?”

“Yes of course,” Sirius laughed at her, sitting up so he could take the book off the counter, “You would have made a great healer.”

Y/N said nothing but continued to smile at him. Her head was still going round and round about her conversation with Remus.

“This book looks amazing by the way, Y/N, thanks!” He was already half-way through, looking at the different curses.

“Right yeah of course…”Y/N had begun chewing on her nails again, making Sirius look up and raise an eyebrow at her.

“You ok?”

“What? Oh, yes! I’m fine. No, I just bumped into Remus in Diagon Alley.”

“Ohhh,” Sirius put down the book, grimacing, “What did you say?”

“I may have told him you were here, I’m sorry I don’t really love the idea of your mates wandering around unsure about where you are,” Y/N smiled at him, hoping he wouldn’t hate that she gave him up.

“Ahh, no it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? Cause your face says otherwise.”

“No, I just, uh…” Sirius combed a nervous hand through his hair, looking away from her, “It’s nothing, it honestly is fine. They should know I’m safe and not dead.”

Sirius’ joke would have landed much better if his face wasn’t bright red and contorted into the look of someone who was extremely uncomfortable.

“Are you ok there?”

“Please ignore my traitor of a face,” Sirius barked a laugh, still not looking at her in the eye. Y/N was about to reply when she saw blood oozing from the bandage she had probably averagely placed the night before.

“Ok, I need to change that over, it’s going to get infected.”

Y/N busied herself with getting a new roll of bandages, finding herself standing in the bathroom staring at her reflection.

“Stop being ridiculous, Y/N, you’re going to make a fool of yourself,” She muttered to herself, subconsciously fixing her hair in the mirror. Or perhaps this is your chance? Don’t let your embarrassment get in the way of the stupidly cute boy who is blushing in your presence and is sitting on your couch.

Y/N tapped on the sink for a few more minutes before realising that she had probably taken a little too long just to grab new bandages.

“Sorry, couldn’t find them for a minute, lean back for a second,” Y/N gave a wide, and relatively fake, smile to Sirius, sitting back down on the coffee table and pushing it in towards him so she was close enough to pull the old one off his bare chest.

“This might hurt a little bit,” She said quietly, taking it off slowly. It was clinging to the skin, and Sirius gritted his teeth as she revealed the wound. The black edges were receding slightly, but the flesh underneath the wound was still open and the blood hadn’t begun to clot over it yet.

Whilst putting on the new bandage back on, she couldn’t help but notice how close her face was to his, how easy it would be to just lean in and kiss him.

“I -uh,” Y/N cleared her through, feeling like she was making this much more awkward than it needed to be.

“Yeah…” Sirius mumbled softly, their faces inches apart. Y/N could feel his breath on her skin, his heart beating steadily in his chest. He leaned in a little closer, moving incredibly slowly as if he was unsure, nervous, a side to him she didn’t really think existed.

And then his lips were on hers, Sirius softly pushing her closer to him with his hand on her shoulder blades. She felt like she was melting into the kiss, his stubble rubbing up against her cheek as he deepened the kissed, lifting his arm up towards her hair and running his nails through and pulling her head closer to his own.

Eventually, they pulled apart, both breathing heavily, resting their foreheads against each other.

“So, I need to confess something to you, Y/N,” Sirius mumbled grinning stupidly at her.

“Is that so?”

“I very much have a bit of a thing for you,”

Y/N lifted her head, turning to look around the room exaggeratedly.

“JAMES! I know you’re here somewhere you cheeky boy,” Y/N shook her head, grinning cheekily back at him as Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Did I ever tell you I was an idiot?”

“I think maybe you did, a little while ago.”

“Well hopefully I can maybe make it up to you, perhaps you wouldn’t hate going out for dinner with me sometime?” Sirius’ had pulled away, his grey eyes piercing her own as he bit his lip nervously.

“I definitely don’t think I would hate that.”

 Taglist:   @averytruerayofsunshine @siriuslyjanhvi @blushingskywalker @blackpinkdolan @thebabblingbookworm @cherrie511 @imlukesnirvana @avengersassemblee @maraudersandco @sly-vixen-up2nogood @katbernoulli @sirius-lysad @evyiione @minerva26love @aikeia @gollyderek @greatwombatblaze  @songforhema  @your-typical-giggle

[lihikainanea]

Vibe of the Week 06/08

First off, I am happy to announce that the very second Live Tarot Hour will be this Friday, 11 September. It’ll start at 8PM ADT, 7PM EST, 5PM PT, and gah just figure out your time zone from that. I really enjoyed the last one we did, and it’s great practice. I’ll post the rules later on this week, most will be the same as last time but this round I’ll be accepting questions in advance--that was selfish of me last time, for all my bubs in wayyyyy different time zones who weren’t awake when it started and couldn’t submit a question.

As always, you can blacklist #tarot or #Lei does tarot if you don’t want to see.

Now, on to business.

Ah, dat Full Moon vibes from last week. Real talk it gave me some crazy energy, just some weird things I couldn’t shake, and kicked off a whole week’s worth of odd dreams and weird premonitions and dug up a whole bunch of shit from my past and threw it at me.

Including Photographer Boy, if we can count him as being part of my past? He seems to stay pretty...current. And he was being real sweet to me over the weekend, and just being the Good Dude I know he can be, and like a moron that somehow erases all the copious times he was a dick. Ugh, Lei you’re smarter than this.

Double ugh, I’m mad at myself.

In any case, last week we spoke about action, but also about the need to kind of....hold off. That maybe now is not the time to go after that big thing, because there are too many little things happening for you, maybe you’re not in the frame of mind or heart that you NEED to be in to go after what you’re going after, and have it work out. The universe works in many ways and often times if she sees us running headfirst into a wall, she might hold us back a bit. It’s for our own benefit.

You may have noticed, too, that in English I tend to have trouble with homonyms. Nose and knows. Seize and cease. I know the difference between all the there/they’re/theirs but the apostrophe one still fucks me up because I think it’s possessive instead of they are. In any case, I ended the reading last week on a resounding note that what is truly meant for us will be there, waiting to be...ahem...ceased. Oops. I obviously meant seized (I think?) and I’ve corrected it now.

LE SORRY.

The decks this week: Moonology for Oracle, and the Wheel of Fortune for Tarot.

The Oracle of the week is the Supermoon:

I didn’t pull this one, it jumped out at me as I was shuffling.

Look, can I just say that it does wonders for my confidence as a reader, as the granddaughter of a great woman and a steward of part of the great family history, when I FEEL my intuition tell me something is off, and then it gets proven right? Look, intuition is hard. My intuition is hard. I just tend to think very differently from the masses and it’s incredibly frustrating, because I’ll see something and observe it my way and everybody else seems to be on a different page and it’s just...you feel crazy. I feel like I spend at least 1/3 of my life going “Are you all PRETENDING not to see this? This is a joke, right? Or shit, you really think that? Oh fuck...”

I KNEW something was supercharged with that damn moon last week.

The affirmation: Emotions are running high

Words to meditate on: emotional balance, yin and yang, peace, quiet mind, look closer at the obvious, opportunity.

That thing last week, that the universe told us to back the fuck up on for a sec? This may be the week we’re allowed to charge forward and pursue it. The Supermoon is supercharged, emotions are high but they’re positive--this is a rare moon, one that tells us that the answer is right under our nose. There’s opportunity here, rare opportunity, whether that’s the solution to your challenges or something new and exciting altogether. The Supermoon is when a new moon or a full moon happens at the moon’s closest point to Earth--so the universe is rooting for us, she’s with us on this. Don’t blow anything out of proportion, don’t fucking ignore the obvious in search of something better, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other because your path now leads you to something real exciting.

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Everybody say hi to my grandmother, kids. Because she’s definitely smirking over my shoulder for this reading. Hiiiiiiiiiiiii Lei’s grandmother, definitely the HWIC and one of the most powerful matriarchs of the Stregoneria in Sicily.

Good to see you again, Nonna.

1) Ten of Wands

2) Eight of Wands

3) Five of Wands

4) Queen of Wands

5) Knight of Wands

Overarching theme: the Moon (Major Arcana).

Hahahahahaha oh god I’m still laughing.

All Wands this week. Wands are the action cards, the “go out and get’er done” Suit, the fire Suit in all its glory and horror, so it looks like the universe has opened the barriers that she put around us last week. Not only did she open the barriers but she gave us a one hour pep talk, she brushed our hair, she told us how pretty we were, she poured 397587568458 tons of sugar down our throat, blasted gangsta rap, got us all ragey, showed us the target, slapped our ass--and then she opened the barriers.

Full steam ahead. 

Look, keep the overarching theme of the Moon in mind. Keep your fucking eyes open, and--like the Oracle says--look for the obvious, it’s right in front of you. The Moon speaks of deception, of hidden ways, of secrets, of dual personalities. Of trickery. Bear in mind that interactions you may have this week, people you may encounter--they may be trying to trick you, they may be trying to deceive you. Don’t let this hinder your interactions and don’t close yourself off, just keep this tidbit in the back of your mind so that there are no surprises.

I think the reason why the universe held us back last week is simply because we just had too much. The ten of Wands speaks of a need for reduction--reducing workload, reducing emotional stress, in general just....letting things go. Let it go. It’s too heavy, there’s too much, and it’s just impossible to carry. Trim the fat and just bring it back to the basics--surround yourself with a few people who make you feel good. Reduce your amount of stuff. Know when you’re beat at work, and ask for help. Reduce the space in your mind that you give to worry and anxiety and increase the space you give to things that make you feel good. We had too much last week, and the universe saw that we were just too exhausted to go after what we wanted but we are too stubborn to not go after it, because we are taught from a young age that opportunity is rare and we need to take it.

Opportunity is only as rare as you make it. When you look for opportunity, you will find it. Stop looking, then you stop finding.

And you know that old adage, that an arrow needs to be pulled back before it is launched forward? That’s where we’re at. The Eight of Wands is the most dynamic card in the deck, moving forward at fast speeds. It bears in mind the need to keep lines of communication open--and the Five of Wands, a battle, warns us of the consequence if we don’t. The Five of Wands is the bar fight that we don’t know why we’re in. The Five of Wands is us getting drunk and belligerent as shit, starting something with somebody who didn’t even look at us funny but we thought they did. Calm down--emotions are high, remember? Don’t start shit. It’s not worth it, and you’re likely wrong in the situation anyway. 

Communicate instead. You know people may be trying to deceive you, which already gives you the upper hand. You don’t need to smash a pool cue over their head.

Balance, kids. The Queen of Wands is there to reinforce that message. Dis bitch--I love dis bitch, she’s so much better than the Queen of Cups--love and sensuality, fire and ice, the balance of fiery passion and emotional balance that results in this incredible, never-ending burning ember that will just keep smouldering. And the thing with an ember is it can turn into a full fledged fire at any second, and it can also light other fires. You’re on the right path, kids. And not only are you on the right path, people are watching and you’re inspiring them too. Be loyal to yourself, know your path, and off you go.

And remember--dat Moon Major Arcana Energy, echoed here in the final card of the Knight of Wands--do not seek vengeance over those who deceived you. But don’t forget, either.

TL;DR: Deception is at play this week, evidenced in the Moon and ending in the Knight of Wands. Be aware--don’t let it make you bitter, but be aware. Communication is key as you surge forward here, and it can help you avoid a lot of conflict that doesn’t have to happen if you’re just open and honest. Don’t ignore the obvious, make sure you create an environment where you can succeed, eliminate that which you do not need--and rage on, you fucking flame of awesomeness.