#at one point there was a really drastic shift and. i'm tired of talking about this i'm gonna go eat lunch

[cator99]

The Owl House anon, I just sent my ask because you sound like someone who watched Steven Universe, back in the day. I thought you might be watching TOH then

another one of those "damn the hate mail game on this website is insane" moments

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.1

Cynthia and John are worse and crazier for admitting what they admitted in the bio. But Jane and Paul are not exempt.

Will forever love this pic of Paul and Julian. He does not look like the fun uncle. He looks tired and dependable. Just stepped out of the womb as a father, didn't he? The sperm that fertilized his egg probably passed some fatherly advice and hair tussles to the other sperm as it passed them. 

They should've bought the fucking island.

They never look more like a couple than when the women they're actually dating are right next to them. 

The India footage actually looks so beautiful. Obviously it's a beautiful place, but they all genuinely look so free and at peace there. It really could've been so good for them. Getting enlightened, getting soberish, growing closer as a band, taking a much-needed rest. It should've been good. 

The music choices in this documentary! The drastic shift from, “all you need is love” and “the dream I had was true” and “I don't need much to set me free.” to Paul leaving to “yes I'm lonely. Wanna die.” “I'm going insane.” “Look at me. Who am I supposed to be?” 8d8 psychic damage. And the thing is it's real. John really did flip a switch, just like that.

Smashing my head into a wall. It's the same as Yoko's quote about how ‘nobody hurt John more than Paul.’ Really Pete? Worse than after his mum died? Really Yoko? More than that drunk cop? Paul, what the fuck did you do to him in India, seriously, because at this point in the doc I can't accept the theory that it was just some lack of communication, I just can't. 

It's also telling to me that when John's losing it, everyone's solution is some time alone with Paul. Nobody panic. Paul can fix him. Little do they know Paul's the one that broke him. Or maybe they do know and that's only another reason they know Paul's the only man for the job?

Old-fashioned ad voice: You liked Protective Jesus Scandal Paul? You'll love Protective LSD Scandal John! Really. Before the question is even out, he's making fun of it. I think he cuts off the interviewer at least three times with jokes before he can get the sentence out, and by the time he is, Paul's giggling too hard to feel bad about his little PR fuck-up.

Then he lets Paul talk a bit before jumping back in, this time with his Hard Man suit on. It's just so good. A testament to their unconditional love, really. Because, clearly, Paul's just hurt John pretty bad. And yet, here John is. Using every trick he's got to defend his friend. 

But actually, though John is supposedly the one everyone's worried about, Paul's doing a pretty shit job of being the “stable” one. This entire press tour he's either fucking blazed and laughing at everything or disassociated and not contributing.

(((except during that political discussion – again! Paul secretly has actual thoughts on actual things?!)))

But for the most part, John's absolutely holding down the fort. I wonder if this is another case of everyone – all their friends and business associates, just like we as a fandom still do now – assuming John is the problem child, and Paul's the strong one, but actually they're both both. 

Back to the political interview. They're just so in sync. Finishing each other's sentences when you're talking about the weather or your shared work is one thing. Finishing each other's sentences on complex topics like why poor whites often vote bigots in or the cause of rampant misinformation is quite another. 

“Letting his dad cut his hair at sixteen, seventeen.” You all know that John hates Jim quote. 

John: so there's war, and vegetables. There's relativity and absolute.  Paul (absolutely smitten): that's great Johnny. Int: that's rather hard for people to interpret. John: well if they can't interpret it now, maybe they will later..... 1. John really was extremely intelligent. 2. That last statement sums up Beatles historiography.

Paul really just Won't be alone with John, will he? Well, two can play at that game, Paul, and John's going to win, let me tell you. 

But he's going to do one last panic grab for attention first.

I really do think if John had done something like that *before* Paul would've given him that attention. Told him he's being insane and taken him home to splash some cold water on him or something and then given him whatever softness Paul was capable of. But not anymore. 

I wonder if Paul could go back to 1966 if he just wouldn't have taken John to that Indica show where he met Yoko. If he would've just said “okay John, sure, let's just stay home and trip on the couch tonight.” I don't know.

Anyway, Yoko gets an A+ for persistence. Imagine being Paul, George, or Ringo, though, and John is suddenly madly in love with this woman whose been begging you all (and then him specifically) for a platform for over a year? It would be weird to say the least. 

John: don't you hate me? I'm crazy, you know. Paul: no I don't hate you. John: aren't you pissed at me now, Paul? Even a little bit? Paul: I'm very proud of you. It's the unstoppable force (“Don't ‘nore me, Mimi!”) vs the immovable object (“I learned to put a shell around me”.) Someone get them some professional help before they nuke the whole world. 

“There is, however, a desire to get power in order to use it for good.” One of those quotes that just really lets you see a person, you know? Benevolent dictator Paul. 

Yoko, why are you talking about how bad your boy doesn't want to fuck you right in front of all his closest friends and on record for posterity? If you have to be talking about your sex life, shouldn't you be lying about how insanely horny he is for you? Oh, right, she will think of that, just not yet. 

And then she waxes poetic about how turned on John is when he's working on music with Paul. Cool. Smart. Thanks for that, though, genuinely.

And Then (gosh, Yoko is such an asset to Beatles history when she's not actively spreading misinformation. Everyone give her a hand) she goes on about how Paul goes out of his way to make her feel respected and even valued. Compare that to John and Linda, anyone? And I want to be clear, I'm not saying this means John cares too much and Paul doesn't care at all, which might be the surface read. I just think John's reaction was to scream in everyone's face that he was in pain and Paul's was to insist ad nauseam that he was fine. You know?

[umgeorge]

george russell is interviewed during the press conference on media day [part 1/2], netherlands - august 22, 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Interviewer: "George, let's start with you. We have another Swiftie in our midst, but [laughs] tell us about the Summer Break Festival. How was it?" George: "Yeah, the summer break was great. I think it was so needed for everyone. I think we're kind of also lucky in this sport that we've got this mandated break; otherwise, I think people struggle to switch off. Didn't think too much about racing, and then, like, Sunday night last week, I was struggling to sleep thinking about tire pressures and rear springs and downforce level and stuff, so it's funny how the brain shifts." Interviewer: "Well, look, you went into the break on the back of that disqualification at Spa. Sorry to bring back a bad memory, but are you now confident the team understands why that happened and why it won't happen again?" George: "Yeah, absolutely. Clearly we didn't do a good enough job, but it was just a number of factors all coming together where we sort of exceeded our expectation of how much weight we would lose, including myself. I lost a bit more weight during the race than we thought, the tires lost a lot more than we expected. The plank was wearing more than we thought, as well, and it's just sort of these three or four factors all coming together that just pushed us over the edge." Interviewer: "Ironically, was that one of your best races in Formula 1 to date?" George: "Yeah, without doubt. It was such an amazing feeling, just being out there, seeing this opportunity come into life. And Spa is such a unique circuit. They've got these big, long straights. There's a few TV screens down there, and I was sort of looking at the leaderboard and the gap to Lewis-and I think Charles was behind Lewis at the time-and sort of working out, like, they're closing in six- or seven-tenths a lap. I've got fifteen, sixteen laps to go and I'm twelve seconds or so ahead. I think I'll be able to keep this up, and if they're going to catch me it's going to be right towards the end. And yeah, that was such… Nobody can take that feeling away from me, from crossing the line, celebrating with my team, standing on the podium. I think if I was in a championship fight this year it would have been a much bigger blow to us, those 25 points, but this season, unfortunately, we're not quite there."

Interviewer: "Let's talk about these last ten races. I mean, Mercedes goes into them having scored five podiums in the last six races, including three wins. How high are you setting your aims?" George: "I mean, we've got to be setting our sights really high, to be honest, because we are improving drastically in these last couple of races. I do think these last three wins in the last four races probably doesn't perfectly reflect the performance. I think McLaren have been performing really strong. They were probably slightly more competitive than us in Spa last week… Last race, sorry. And Red Bull are a little bit up and down at the moment, but you can be sure they'll be competitive, too. But it reminds me a little bit of my junior days in F3, F2, knowing that if you do a great job there's a victory on the cards, and if you don't you'll probably be outside the top five." Interviewer: "Well, you're 79 points behind Ferrari in the Constructor's Championship. Can you beat them?" George: "I think the performances we've been showing recently have been really, really strong, but we're not too focused on those points right now. We're just taking it race by race, just trying to understand the car further and try and get some more victories under our belt." Interviewer: "Look, final one from me: There's a new chief race engineer at Mercedes. Peter Bonnington has been promoted. Can we get your reaction to the news and how Bono's promotion will help you?" George: "Yeah, I mean, Bono's been obviously an integral part of the team's success for so, so many years, and even before the Mercedes days back at Brawn, as well, and it's great news that he's staying on with us next year. Obviously there's a lot of rumors and speculation about if he would go with Lewis, but I think there's only a real benefit to me. Having that promotion for Bono is almost having an extra set of eyes overlooking the work we're doing, and I think he's only going to strengthen our squad even further."

[fanfic-scribbles]

Building Bridges, Trying Not to Drown: Filling in the Cracks

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: Steve has a bad night. Thankfully, he knows someone well-versed in getting through them.

Quick facts: Friendship – Steve Rogers & Reader –Nondescript Reader

Warnings: Depression, 1st person POV, part 3 of a series (first one can be found here, second can be found here, but there are more warnings for those so please mind the tags)

MCU Timeline: Set some nebulous time after CA:TWS

Words: 2485

A/N: Surprisingly not a lot of warnings for this one, and no tense shifts, yay \o/ Pretty self-contained and self-explanatory so not much to say; I'm not sure if this requires knowledge of the previous parts or if you can just enjoy it as is, but I've included links above just in case. Take care of yourselves, and I’ll hopefully have something a little more light-hearted next month <3

~

Bucky was away on a special mission with Natasha, Sam was off visiting relatives, and I was on the bridge…alone.

That was odd.

Steve had made it a point to be with me just about every night over the past week. It wasn’t as trying or tiring as it might have been normally– I was doing relatively all right, and I could see that he was…not. He was fairly good at putting up a mask, especially when other people were around, but he couldn’t, (or maybe just didn’t), put up a front with me all the time. We sat quietly. He stewed in his own head and deflected questions that hinted at concern.

I thought on that for a little while. I didn’t really like people poking at me too hard when I wasn’t feeling well. It was why I had tolerated Steve so well– he didn’t press too hard, asked a few questions maybe, but otherwise was content to talk about anything at all when I was unresponsive. It was like he just wanted to be present to know I wasn’t going to do anything drastic. And I…I felt very suddenly like I could understand the impulse.

Well. I stood up and dusted my pants. Sitting out here wasn’t helping anything anyway. Was kind of boring, actually. Time to change the view.

~

I knocked on the door of Steve’s and Bucky’s apartment and waited. And waited. And…I frowned. Was he out? I’d thought he said he wasn’t going on assignment. Then again, it wasn’t like he didn’t get called on emergencies, but he always told me if he was going to be busy, even if he was texting while running off.

I knocked again, a little hard and a little fast. If this was karma, it fucking sucked.

“Who is it?” asked a man’s voice, so sharp and short and stern I had to double-check and make sure I wasn’t knocking on the wrong door. It sort of sounded like Steve, but…

“Steve?” I asked uncertainly, even though I had been here before and I knew I was in the right place.

To my relief, he said my name in a normal tone and immediately unlocked the door. His voice was a little rough and rushed, and when he opened the door he looked a mess. Well…more a mess than I was used to. A piece of hair fell in his face and– I hadn’t known he could get eyebags. How long had he not slept?

I resisted the urge to sigh and squared up while he rubbed his face, brushed his hair back, and otherwise tried to pretend he was Fine, Just Fine, Really Truly Fine, Honest. He smiled weakly, but it fell fast, thank goodness. Not so thankfully, it was replaced with a worried crease of his brow. “I meant to tell you I wasn’t going to– God, did I forget to text?” He rubbed his face again. “I’m so sorr–”

“It’s okay,” I said and walked in past him. “We can hang out here.”

“You…might not want to,” he said, dropping some of the act but shutting the door behind me.

It was a little messy, yes, but I’d seen worse. Lived in much worse. However this wasn’t a competition, and Steve was flagging by the second. What to do, though? Tasks– Steve needed something else to focus on. “Do me a favor,” I said as I pulled off my jacket and tried to make a plan. “Do you have coffee or tea?”

“Fresh out of coffee,” he said, with enough regret that I could guess how my ‘how are you sleeping?’ question was going to go over. “But I do have some good tea.”

“Cool. Start boiling some water.” I stopped and quickly added, “Please. Can I…use your bathroom?”

“Of course,” he said, sounding even a bit lighter, though whether that was real or just an act for my benefit was not something I knew how to tell. So while he went to boil some water, I went to the bathroom and took a look around. It wasn’t bad– maybe because it hadn’t been touched much. Steve didn’t smell terrible, but even just looking at his hair I could tell he hadn’t washed lately. So I took down a couple of fresh towels, ran the shower, and used a washcloth and some of the warming water to wipe down the bathroom counter. On second thought, I grabbed a clean washcloth and set it next to the sink.

I stepped out and entered the kitchen to see a slightly amused expression on Steve’s face. “Is your shower broken?” he asked. He lost his attempt at a smile and leaned on the counter. “Are you okay?”

“I’d ask you that, but I don’t think there’s a good answer, is there?” I asked. He swallowed, tried to speak, but after a few attempts just hung his head and shook it.

“I’m sorry,” he said, a little quieter. “I didn’t want to…put anything more on you.”

“I know the feeling,” I said. “But I wouldn’t be here if I thought I would make things worse. So, here’s the plan–wash up, dress in something really comfy, and we’ll sit on the couch with some blankets and just…make it through the night.”

“I’ll be okay,” he said gently, and lifted his head.

“Eventually,” I agreed. “But you don’t have to get through the ‘not okay’ part on your own. If you don’t want to. If you do…”

“No,” he said, quickly enough that I felt reassured this was the right thing. However, he then looked towards the sound of the shower with an expression of dread that was very familiar. Or at least, felt familiar.

“Life hack– you don’t even have to use soap,” I said. “Just stand under the water for a few minutes. And if you really can’t stomach the thought, just wash your face in the sink; maybe take up a washcloth if you want to.”

He nodded, but he looked really just…resigned. Defeated. “Okay,” he said in a small voice I’d never heard from him before, and turned towards the bathroom.

I felt suddenly struck by…not quite fear? He wouldn’t do anything while I was here, I was pretty sure, but it just…it felt so wrong to watch him shuffle along so miserably. I grabbed his shirt before he could go. “Steve,” I said as I tried to collect my thoughts into something coherent. “I’m…I’m not trying to shame you into, or out of, anything. I’m just here. To help.” I lifted my head to look at him. “So I’m here. Until you tell me to fuck off and you mean it. Okay?”

He swallowed very visibly, and gave a little tremble. “I get– I mean, I underst–” He tried for a few more words, crumbling further with every attempt, and his arms moved up and stopped and up and stopped, and then dropped.

I opened my arms. “Come here,” I said, barely getting the second word out before I was being hugged for dear life. I let it go on for a few minutes before I patted his back. “Go on. I’ll take care of the tea,” I said and stepped away to go for the kettle.

He smiled with watering eyes but shuffled away for the bathroom before I could see them fall. I started steeping the tea, and as soon as I heard the bathroom door click shut, I moved to the living room and started picking up.

Obvious trash went in a plastic grocery bag. Clothes got tossed into a pile out of sight. I remembered where the blankets were from when Bucky had gone to get one for me when I was having a bad night and couldn’t be alone, so I went and started feeling over the folded edges of each one. They were all fairly soft, so I picked a few at random, stopped off in their bedroom to get some pillows, and then went to make the couch as nice as I could. It was a large couch, wrap-around, and I set up the longer sitting side for us to rest on. I put the TV on with some quiet nothing nature videos and went back to get the tea. I checked the cupboards and there was food, but I wasn’t sure what Steve could stomach, so I let it be. If I suggested eating, he would want me to eat too, and I wasn’t sure if I could, so I had to leave that battle for later.

It took a few minutes after the water stopped running that he came out, changed into his PJs, with brushed but dry hair. “I couldn’t do the shower,” he admitted. “I put a washcloth under the water and used that instead.”

“Good job,” I said and meant it. When he stopped and made to go for the clothes pile though, I said, “Steve.” He stopped and looked at me. “Is it really bothering you that bad, or can it keep?”

He looked like he gave it some real consideration, but his face went slack and he shrugged. I nodded and patted the seat I had made just for him, with the best pillow and blankets. He took the offer for what it was, came and flumped down, and just sort of…stared at nothing with a blank look on his face. I handed him his cup. “It’s warm,” I said and slanted my body so I could lean on the couch arm, preparing for the next part.

“Does it help?” he asked and took a sip.

I shrugged. “Maybe cumulatively?” I suggested, because I really didn’t know. “Sometimes you just gotta ride it out. Better to be comfy.”

“I guess I can’t argue that,” he said and sipped the tea almost mechanically. Like it was another task off his list. I sipped at mine a few times before I set it on the coffee table and leaned against the couch arm. I used the blanket to protect Steve from my clothes, which were not as comfy. After a few minutes he set his cup down, half of it gone, and sighed. He looked so tired, but he kept blinking his eyes open.

“Hey,” I said. When he turned his head, I opened my arm in invitation.

He gave me a look over. “You don’t have to,” he said.

I tried not to roll my eyes. “I know. I do what I want, in case you haven't noticed.”

A ghost of a smile haunted his lips for a brief moment, and then he moved slowly and carefully to lean against me. He didn’t cuddle so much as just rest heavily, but within minutes he was breathing deeply, his eyes shut, and so I didn’t dare move except to make sure my phone was on silent.

It was. Had been, long enough that I’d gotten a message on the walk over and not noticed.

Bucky: Can I ask a favor?

I tried to be very careful in how I moved as I tapped out a reply.

Me: I’m staying with Steve right now. Me: Related?

It took only a few seconds for a reply. He must have been done with his…whatever he was doing.

Bucky: How is he?

I looked at Steve, whose mouth was slightly parted and showed absolutely no signs of waking. I blinked a few times. I was a little tired too, actually.

Me: Sleeping on my shoulder Me: He washed up Me: I don’t know how to bring up food Me: But I’ll try. Later. Bucky: Thank you

I almost shrugged, even though he couldn’t see me. Something about the thanks chafed, so I let it go.

Me: Gonna sleep now Me: Be safe Bucky: Will do

I set my phone aside, pulled up the pillow into my arms, and laid my head against it. Even with the lights and TV, I fell asleep without any issue.

~

When I woke up again, I first noticed some extra weight. I wondered if Steve had shifted, but he was still sleeping in the same position, only now his arms were loosely around me– and resting against him was Bucky. Bucky, meanwhile, was watching Sam and Natasha, who were in blankets on the floor in front of Steve, on their phones, …playing a game?

“God dammit Nat,” Sam said and cursed quietly as he tapped furiously.

“Shouldn’t have left the east wall broken,” Natasha said smugly.

I blinked a few times, noted the early morning hour, and clouds outside besides, and decided I would rather go back to sleep than figure out what the hell this was.

“Now the north wall too,” I heard Bucky comment as I started to drift off.

“Yeah, thanks, hadn’t noticed that with Natasha killing my guards…”

At least Steve was sleeping through all this nonsense.

~

When I woke up again it was because Bucky was waking me for lunch. Steve was already up and occasionally running a hand through his hair while looking vaguely apologetic, but every time he started to open his mouth he received a glare from Natasha, or Sam, or Bucky, so apparently I had missed the most annoying parts.

“Cool; free lunch,” I said as I slid into the open seat next to Steve as everyone else settled in front of their bowls. Pho or something with a rich smelling broth and not too much stuff in my bowl, thank goodness. I looked at Steve. “Other life hack– broth totally counts as food if you can’t handle much.”

“I’m actually pretty hungry,” he admitted and took up his chopsticks.

“That’s good,” I said. I looked at him and what was with that expression? It wasn’t sad, wasn’t down, it was…annoyed? Pouty? I looked at Sam, who shook his head, and I looked at Steve again, until he looked at me. “What’s wrong?”

He blinked. “Uh…nothing. Nothing new, at least,” he said and stared at his soup. “I’m just…embarrassed, I guess.”

“Oh. You’re embarrassed?” I asked and thought about that as I blew on my spoonful of broth. “Should I be embarrassed?”

Bucky snorted, and Sam grinned. Steve’s face went through a few expressions, (one of which was definitely annoyance), before he settled on a wry smile and reached over to gently rub my head. “No,” he said softly.

“Good.” I took a tentative sip. “That sounds like it would be annoying. For everyone.”

Steve rolled his eyes and Sam laughed. Natasha passed me an egg roll and, to be polite, I nibbled on it. It was pretty quiet for the rest of the meal, but not in a bad way. This wasn’t going to fix whatever Steve was going through, but it didn’t have to. He’d pull through and feel better again. Eventually. For now, he was making it through. And that was good enough.

[jihyocentric]

for @threenounname! i strongly agree about the a lack of omega x omega and alpha x alpha fics, most importantly o4o. so here's sahyo in this concept for you :)

-

pairing up with a fellow omega had never been in jihyo's plans, but after meeting sana, her desires had shifted drastically.

sana was different than her. as an omega herself, sana never felt the need to have an alpha claiming her as their mate. her needs went against the omega's conventional nature of seeking for an alpha. she found it more interesting to be the one to claim, to really have that position of sheer power, and that's why would mostly hook up with omegas. betas were only an option if they were willing to give all the control away for her.

some omegas were difficult to tame, others not so much. jihyo was beyond that, and even while having a heat she was still compliant, settling between sana's legs for as much as sana told her to. it was cruel, painfully so, and sana almost smiled when jihyo first started crying.

"i bet it hurts," sana cooed, a hand holding jihyo's head to push her away from her core. "you're humping my bed, getting it all wet. this won't work."

"i can't control it!" jihyo says desperately, and when she blinks a tear falls down, hitting against sana's bare stomach.

"you have to, darling," sana replies sweetly, wiping the wetness on the omega's face away. it's comforting for a second, but jihyo knows better than to fall into sana's traps. soon enough, sana's grip tightens as she holds jihyo's jaw, pulling her closer just so jihyo could hear her loud and clear. "get back down there and make me come, or else i'll leave you to deal with your heat alone."

jihyo gulps before avidly nodding. to think about the possibility of spending her heat alone makes her tremble. it was unfair, really. sana wasn't even near to having a heat, and jihyo had been feverish for hours. not once had sana touched her, making jihyo give her some pleasure before she dealt with the younger's heat.

it was not the first time jihyo spent a heat with sana, and she knew that if she was obedient, sana would reward her in the best way. even if sana got tired, she wouldn't stop until making sure jihyo was sated, but then again, sana's condition to do that was for jihyo to be a good girl. this time, all jihyo had to do was make her way back between sana's thighs and service her.

after what sana said, jihyo tries to forget the pain, tries to sweat less and stops wishing she was being filled, focusing on sana. the heat is numbing, to a point that when sana comes jihyo doesn't realize and keeps rolling her tongue around her sensitive clit, until sana stops her and quickly brings jihyo to her lap.

"are you still there?" sana inspects jihyo's face, receiving a small nod from jihyo, who could barely voice anything. sana touches her waist and jihyo whimpers, her entire body flushed and hot. "you want me to touch you, don't you? want unnie to take care of you?"

"y-yes." jihyo replies weakly, not sure if she'd be able to keep going if sana neglected her needs again.

sana's hands tighten against jihyo's waist. "so beg for it."

"p-please?" it's all jihyo manages to let out. sana sighs, shaking her head.

"no. beg." her voice comes out firmer this time, still raspy and inviting. however this time it's no longer a suggestion, but an order.

"i need you," jihyo whines, and sana is starting to like her appeal. "please, unnie, touch me! it's hurting so bad, i n-need you to take care of me, i-i'll do anything for it!"

sana's eyes go darker. "i'm not convinced."

"i'll be your good girl, i promise," jihyo nearly sobs. "i won't t-talk back anymore, i'll be so good..." jihyo's forehead touches sana's and her skin burns, a proof of how needy she was for sana's touch. "please take me, unnie."

"that's enough. wasn't that hard, was it?" sana questions rhetorically as she holds jihyo and places her on the bed gently.

jihyo closes her legs together, and sana wasn't exaggerating when she said the younger omega was getting the bed all wet. sana's heats were never as intense as jihyo's, the heats jihyo had to endure were longer, stronger and considerably more painful. it amazing to see, really, and even more to be the one taking care of jihyo. at the feeling of the bed shifting, jihyo opens her eyes wider and searches for sana, her heart losing a few beats when she sees sana getting up.

"are you leaving?" jihyo is ready to tell sana she'd been a good girl all night, and that she wouldn't forgive sana if she left, but sana returns to bed for a second, just so she could plant a kiss on jihyo's lips.

"i'm just gonna get something for you, baby. of course i'm not leaving you," sana kisses her once again, and jihyo lets her go.

sana was mean, jihyo knew all about it, as she was sana's only victim for those sort of things, but she wouldn't just leave jihyo to deal with her heat alone. sana may threaten that she will, but she'd never do that, knowing the amount of pain it would be for jihyo to spend a heat by herself. she couldn't let her omega go through that alone.

jihyo recognizes sana's scent once sana comes back and straddles her, placing soft kisses all over jihyo's neck and going down until she could latch on a nipple.

"touch me down there!" jihyo forgets about manners but sana doesn't mind it, not now at least, letting the younger guide her hand towards her center.

jihyo is slippery and sana's hand gets wet easily. it's hard to sink her fingers inside with jihyo closing her legs, but sana manages to do it and jihyo cries out, instantly opening her legs to leave space for sana to settle between them.

"this won't be enough, right, baby?" sana asks, pulling away from jihyo's chest. "you need more, i know you do."

jihyo looks down, and the familiar harness around sana's hips makes her shiver. "please," jihyo says the word for what feels like the hundredth time. "need that in me, i beg you, sana-"

"shh. no need for that anymore, baby," sana coos, and then she slowly aligns the head of the toy with jihyo's core.

as much as sana tries to be gentle, jihyo isn't so patient and allows her omega to speak louder, pulling sana's hips into hers, making sana slam the entire shaft inside of her. jihyo squeals in surprise for her own actions, but it doesn't hurt to be filled, not when she was that wet and ready.

"hard, sana, i want it hard," jihyo pleads and sana complies.

taking care of others might be sana's biggest talent. as an omega, she had a need to protect and take care of what was hers. jihyo was hers, entirely so, and sana made sure jihyo knew that, sinking her sharp teeth into jihyo's neck as she pounded into her deeply, claiming jihyo as her omega and tending to jihyo's need of being claimed.

sana pulls away from jihyo's freshly marked neck and brushes her lips against the younger's ears. "mine. all mine."

jihyo nods, breathing heavily and chest heaving, and holds sana's face, looking into her mate's eyes as a familiar tension builds up in her core. "all yours."

sana's hips slams against jihyo's so deeply that jihyo's back arches. the hand that had once been holding sana's cheek moves lower and jihyo rakes her nails down on sana's nape. the orgasm that follows rips through her body in a long wave of pure fulfillment.

jihyo wasn't quite satisfied yet, but her need to be claimed, filled, and taken care of were all suppressed by sana. jihyo allowed herself to relax, finally feeling at peace after being neglected for hours — it was all worth it despite the pain.

[passionfruitmango]

Gonna do a vent post, thank you if you choose to read, I respect if you choose to keep scrolling! 💖

Oh my god today is so hard. Even finding the words to describe is embarrassingly hard.

Kinda broke down to my boss this morning. I don't know if I had a full mental break but I got really close. I want to say she heard me but I also have this feeling that until I'm screaming and crying my mental health isn't taken seriously.

I'm tired of consistently starting my week having to finish someone else's job before I can even start mine, so many of the previous shifts assigned job duties have become mine (because obviously your fryer won't heat up if the vents aren't fuckimg turned on, among countless other things) and I have been telling my boss for going on a year now where this coworker needs to be talked to about improvement. This person is the type to improve in one area and drastically reduce in another. Why do they still have a job genuinely? Because my boss is more worried about finding someone to replace them than writing them up for their mistakes. Boss is "scared they'll quit" LIKE FUCKING GOOD. PLEASE. LET THEM GO.

Any time the morning shift coworker does something theyre "supposed to" it's like they find a way to do it wrong enough that it makes more work for me. What has me fucked up is this coworker ASKED ME TO TEACH THEM WHAT I WANT LEFT FOR ME WHEN I COME IN, I TAUGHT THIS COWORKER, AND THEY BLATANTLY DISREGARDED MY TEACHING UPON DOING IT THEMSELF. so why waste my fucking time? Disrespectful as fuck.

I genuinely have gotten past the point of rage to full blown dissociating. It's either that or I'm crying as I'm trying to do my job.

Could I tolerate this all if I at least got some kind of positive reinforcement from someone with a title or even a teammate? Possibly.

Am I aware I deserve better than this job has me feeling? Gods yes but we all know when you live in a small town and have been working somewhere for eons, it's not exactly easy to find another job at the same base pay youre currently at.

Idk. Boss told me they'll take it upon themself to make sure everything is done but that's not the point. That's a band aid fix and I told them that (im also almost certain we had the same discussion 6 months ago and here I am again) If I come in tomorrow and have to deal with the same shit I've been dealing with for the last year? I'm just going home. I have hundreds of hours of sick time, im going to start using them when I'm sick of the shit I'm dealing with. Ffs im not getting a prize or even a happy team of coworkers by burning myself like this. "If I don't do it-who will" headass stupid fucking expression I used to gaslight myself into thinking this is okay

ITS FUCKING NOT OKAY. I'm stressed in my personal life and need change and the fact I've had to spell that shit out to my boss countless times??? Fuck outta here I could take a month off with solid sick time and still have enough left to do it for another month. Suck my ass im done being your bitch, figure out how to fix your store or figure out how to replace an employee that ACTUALLY does their job along with the one that doesnt!!!

I feel great having let that all out via text but im still struggling so fucking much. I just want to go home and sleep. And that's bad. I know I have things to do but I can't muster the energy because I'm using it all to fake normal through my work day. This isn't living. And I want to escape. All my old vices are begging me to come home. How do you tell your loved ones you're struggling when it's like they don't hear the words as they leave your mouth?

Genuinely. I feel like my mental health won't be taken seriously until I break. Why do I have to break first?

Buy a multivitamin, use the therapy light, keep on keeping on because everyone's fight is just as bad as mine. I'm just stuck in the dumps about it.

Do I need a friend? Or will they turn me into their shoulder to cry on when I ask if they'll be mine?

Editing to add other things on my mind that I'm only irritated about when I'm already feeling low:

Its been probably a month now since I paid someone for something I still haven't recieved? Like I understand life gets in the way and external circumstances, but telling me twice that I'll be getting tracking the next day and both times I've not gotten tracking? Atp just ask if I want my money back, honestly willing to cut my losses because the person I paid has gifted me shit for the same amount I'm currently out, I'm just feeling awkward and having trauma triggered because I've already asked what's up twice. And I'm pretty sure my reply from last time is still unopened and unread. :/

On the same topic, different person I paid, commissioned some art and it's also been multiple months with no updates. I reached out to their business page thinking it was something on my end I forgot to get to, yeah they have also not checked their business page. Again, I respect life happens. But a little communication would be DIVINE. Another situation where I will most likely be cutting my losses because I have learned not to spend/give more money than you're willing to lose. But im still irritated about it.

[beckface]

Electric take: Human Maria would be a type 1 diabetic, since she's not an energy monster anymore. And hell, you could totally apply this concept to canon too.

FR, Maria could be such good child disability rep. Her canon struggle with  managing her diet on her own could be a parallel to lots of human medical conditions. As it stands right now, Maria doesn't have anyone supporting her/managing stuff for her, so she makes a lot of "bad" choices because she's hungry and wants energy :( even at the cost of potentially fufilling relationships. Remember when she was torn between being Eileen's pet and nomming on the electric snowman... and the snack won out? Remember how tired she was in the jar? These sorts of medical conditions are real things some kids struggle with, even with caring parents/access to good doctors/medical care. And symptom wise... honestly, Type 1 diabetes wouldn't be far off from what Maria goes through. I mean obviously type 1 diabetes doesn't turn you into a kaiju when you eat a lot or shrink you to the size of a beta fish when you don't, but either way, I think it's a fairly close match. It really seems like her bodies inability to store energy for later and use it through the day really messes with her, and that the best way to manage it would be, instead of calcuating activities, the calorie counts needed for that activity, and providing insulin for those calories, something like careful "meal" planning with the right amount of energy to keep herself at a healthy and manageable size. You know????

And if Eileen and her developed a good friendship, I can see her helping her throughout the day when Maria's guardian isn't there. I'm sure that if Eileen saw it as a medical thing she'd do her very best to look out for her friend and keep her on track. Meanwhile obviously Maria benefits because her size and energy levels aren't drastically shifting all the time, and also, good friends :D

I adore your Maria and Eileen ideas sm THEM

It would be great to see a character like Maria, that’s very ND coded on top of everything else, get to have the people around her create a system that allows her to live a normal life! Speaking from experience, a lot of times kids who are either mentally or physically disabled can feel sometimes like they just stick out like a beacon of electricity. They either don’t have enough and are too small and invisible, or they’re too much and zapping the energy out of the people around them.

I’ve said this before, but it would be so fun to see an au where Maria figures out a diet plan and can stay the size of a normal kid, keeps her helmet, and just goes to school with the rest of them. Obviously it wouldn’t exactly get easier for her, she doesn’t STOP being a being of pure energy, but she would have loved ones and a support system to keep her on track. She can still be a villain and lose herself every once in a while, mostly because I like her as a villain, but overall she’s just a normal, hyper kid that is great for clingy Eileen to be best friends with.

Allow me to go on a tangent a bit and give some ideas for how Maria might bond with the other kids besides Eileen. Give this girl friends.

Becky- It’s career day, and everyone’s parents are coming in to talk about their jobs and things. Maria is feeling insecure about her not having actual parents and just being adopted by either her caregivers or Eileen’s mom. She starts sparking and Becky can sense that she might go on a distressed rampage, and to do her hero duty goes to try and talk to her and prevent that. Maria becoming a student is fairly new, so Becky still has her guard up, but that’s making Maria even more tense. At some point during the conversation Maria explodes like “WHY DON’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! Go be with your perfect FaMiLy!” and Becky realizes what this is about. She apologizes for being skeptical of Maria and sits down with her and tells her that she’s adopted too. Maria is surprised by this, and the two talk more. Maria thanks Becky and they hug, leaving Becky’s hair all frizzed. Becky then heads back to the Botsfords while Maria goes to join Eileen and her Mother, feeling happy. Maria and Becky start getting along really well unexpectedly

Violet- Violet is very open to new people and very kind generally, so she would be the FIRST person to welcome Maria to the school. Maria and Eileen together would then proceed to talk her ear off. Eileen, being Eileen, kinda tries to steal Violet away from Becky and Scoops, saying that her and Maria make a BETTER trio, and it’s her birthday so she can do what she wants. Violet doesn’t want this obviously, but she tries to be polite while trying to get away. Maria doesn’t realize that this is a situation that has happened many times before, and doesn’t realize that Violet is uncomfortable, she’s just excited for a new friend. So when Violet puts her foot down and tells Eileen to leave her alone, Maria feels really bad. Eileen is just being grumpy the rest of the day while Maria is a ball of anxious energy (lol) and eventually she goes up to Violet after school to give her a long-winded apology, and please give her a second chance. Violet explains that she’s happy to be friends! She just doesn’t want to be forced into anything. Maria understands and relays this information back to Eileen, who actually listens now that someone she trusts is explaining it to her. The two start respecting Violet’s boundaries more and they all get closer

Scoops- Scoops interviewed Maria on the first day of school because duh, and he got so excited by just how MUCH content he got from her endless talking. He asked her to join the news club. Her favorite thing is being a news anchor. Maria and Scoops have that type of friendship where they just talk over each other for an hour and it’s the most fun thing ever

Tobey- Tobey cannot STAND her at first (tbf he can’t stand anyone) because she talks to him happily and does not pick up on any of his sarcasm or jabs. Over time he gives up and stops trying to be snotty to her and just listens to her talk and gives his dry input every once in a while. Man refuses to admit that he enjoys it.

Victoria- Victoria and Eileen were already close just on the basis of they were the only two kid girl villains. Victoria likes having another girl villain, especially one who is so easily impressed by everything even mildly cool she does.

[cherriesfineline]

Au Pair – Chapter I

It's finally here – I'm sorry this took so long, this past few weeks have been a mess but here it is, our first chapter for the Au Pair series; I kinda hate this, ngl- I always hate first chapters, a lot of introductory info and bla bla but yeah.

In the weird case you happen to enjoy this and want to be added into the taglist (starting next chapter) you can request it here.

Feedback, likes or reblogs are so, so appreciated! I'm very much new to the whole writing world so yeah it'd be really helpful to hear your thoughts about this <3

Love you all, have a wonderful week beauties!

Warnings: none specifically for this chapter – age gap.

WC: 6.6k

Masterlist

Y/N was tired, to say the least.

And it wasn’t the tiredness she used to feel after a long work shift at her previous job -where her boss was an old, grumpy lady with horrible manners- or the exhaustion felt after spending hours crying due to a fight with her mother. No, this was different. It was a tiredness she couldn’t get rid of; a tiredness no lavender smelling bath or hours upon hours of sleep could amend.

She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment her brain shifted in such a drastic way. Y/N could easily recognize and admit her life had never been an exciting one; a memorable one. Ever since she was a little girl it all seemed to fly by; graduations, birthdays, friendships – nothing ever seemed to leave an impact and nothing ever seemed as exciting as everyone else put it to be. She knew she struggled with allowing herself to enjoy things, but this far her life had been pretty average.

Maybe it was the fact that she was 22 years old and never been in a real relationship what skyrocketed her fear of dying alone. Now, she knew it might seem exaggerated – 22 years wasn’t a long life at all, but the pungent emptiness she’d been feeling felt like her inevitable destiny – like that’s how life was supposed to be for her.

England felt different, though. But in all honesty, her emotions hadn’t had switched into completely different ones like she’d expected to happen when she applied for this job as an Au Pair all the way back in February.

With a steaming hot cup of coffee between her cold hands, she sat down next to Coco (a very soft grey Scottish Fold) on the giant couch of her new home, scratching in between his tiny ears earning a low purr in response. Coco had become one of her closest friends so far, along with Anya, a three year old girl with cute blonde locks and a laugh so contagious it made the muscles on your cheeks ache after a long playdate.

Maybe moving away wasn’t the smartest choice. It actually might be one of the stupidest choices she had ever made, actually – moving all the way across the globe when she cried herself to sleep most nights due to her loneliness overcoming her (almost inexistent) self-awareness. Y/N liked to believe she had a wide understanding of her emotions, but it was a blatant lie.

At least she was distracted for most of the day – taking care of two kids and looking after a teenager wasn’t an easy task. It required a lot of mental presence; but by the time she was in bed at night, it all hit back again. She thought maybe this is how life is supposed to be for her, lonely – maybe it was not her brain playing her tricks but her brain making her see how her life truly was.

It’d been two weeks since the Lockehold family picked Y/N up from the airport, and on one side getting physically adjusted to this new life hadn't been as rough as she thought it’d be. She did have it easy, if she had to admit – a big room in a giant, beautiful home and a car to her disposal. Emotionally, on the other side, life was still the same.

She knew the moment she heard heels hitting the cold marble staircase Bella was on her way down with Ivy, the eldest of the three sisters, following close behind, complaining about a hangout she was apparently going to miss because they “are expecting a guest” as Bella announced, meaning neither of her parents could drive her. That’s how Y/N found herself sitting in her (borrowed) blue Jeep Renegade driving Ivy to her friend Lily’s house – who lived in the same rich, over-the-top neighborhood as her guest family, which meant the ride to and back was no longer than twenty minutes. During those minutes together, though, Y/N could physically feel the irritation running through Ivy’s blood because first, she still wasn’t too fond of Y/N because she is 16 and doesn’t need a babysitter -her words, not Y/N’s- and second, Y/N is still not accustomed to driving on the other side of the road.

Technically, Y/N had the weekends off. Living with the same people who employed her gladly didn’t mean working 24/7, but she hoped she could earn a couple of points in her favor if she took her free time to drive her around.

After a short conversation between the two (where Ivy refused to save Y/N’s number in case an emergency came up because she could always call her dad), Y/N dropped her off and drove back to the Lockehold’s. What caught her off guard, was the sight of someone in the driveway at the house next door getting suitcases out of the trunk of a black cab – there hadn’t been any movement in the old Victorian mansion since she’d moved in next door. A man, definitely very tall, dressed in a dark suit is all Y/N could decipher since it was already dark outside and she had to strictly concentrate on not switching to the opposite side of the road out of habit.

Alex was coming down the stairs when Y/N locked the front door – Bella’s husband was a very handsome man for his age, probably anyone could admit it. He was kind of scary sometimes, but was a true sweetheart on the inside; he’s in his mid-40’s and it was clear as day his family meant everything to him, he even treated Y/N like his own daughter, always making sure she’s comfortable and inviting her to most family hangouts – even though Y/N declined pretty often to allow them to have quality time as a family (and because being too socially involved drained her, but they needn’t have to know that)

“You wanna join us for dinner? We have a guest tonight. A family friend.”

“Oh, no, I'm good, you guys enjoy yourselves. I’ll say hello, though.” Y/N replied with a smile; and as before mentioned, even though she had the weekends to herself, they still loved to insist on her joining them for fancy dinners and whatnot. The Lockehold’s loved being hostesses, loved having people around (from what Y/N learned this past two weeks) but she really wanted -and needed- some time for herself after being with them the entire week, and even though she loved hanging out with them, she just wasn’t in the mood tonight.

“You sure? Bella made homemade pasta, from scratch. Her specialty.” Mouthwatering, Y/N thought. Bella was such an amazing cook, and even though she worked hours upon hours every day, she still came to her husband and kids in time to make dinner every night, not missing a single day.

“Sounds delicious, but I think I’ll pass, I’m just really tired.” And before anyone could make another comment, the loud bell ringing through the main floor of the house startled Y/N as it’s louder than ordinary – and sounded kind of old and creepy, in her opinion. By the time the constant thud in her chest lowered to a normal speed, she could recognize Bella’s voice in the foyer, meaning she was the one who received their guest, with a deep voice following after saying 'thank you for having me'.

"He's here!" Alex clasped his hands together, a wide smile appearing in his face. Y/N followed him into the living room where Bella was already chatting animatedly with a man; tall and with broad shoulders (but not excessively; just the right amount) his figure was leaning slightly forward as he listened to Bella rambling about all the 'good things he had missed while he was away'. His hands were clasped on his back and when he lifted his head, he made direct eye contact with Y/N without even having to search for her eyes. His brown curls were perfectly placed on top of his head looking extremely soft, and when he ran his hand through it Y/N couldn’t help but swallow harshly. He undoubtedly looked like someone who belonged in Hollywood next to a young Leo DiCaprio and he was definitely older than Y/N – probably already in his 30's, she guessed, but ageing like the finest wine. He had the softest looking wrinkles in the corners of his eyes – those eyes, forest green; reminded Y/N of what used to be home for her. His intense gaze held a lot of emotion, a lot of thought, unlike his face, that appeared stiff and cold, with a slight crease between his brows. His pink, heart-shaped lips were pressed in a line, a cute mole adorning one side of his chin.

"Harry! It's so good to see you, we've missed you." Alex's excitement forced him to drift his gaze away from Y/N, leaving her like a heated teenager salivating for him. Y/N honestly thought he might had left her speechless and most likely with increasing probabilities to make a fool out of herself if someone needed her to talk, as she was certain she wouldn't be able to formulate any coherent sentences.

Harry. It totally suited him, Y/N repeated his name a couple of times inside her head to check on its pronunciation. Alex reached him and pulled him in a big hug, patting each other's back, and Harry's lips broke into a huge smile making a line of pearly white teeth appear. And dimples. God, he had dimples.

This is how I die, Y/N thought.

"So good to see you, Alex." If sex was a sound, his voice would definitely be it.

"Your skin is glowing, Harry. Italy always does you wonders." Bella gushed. And she was right – his skin had this beautiful golden undertone, but it looked natural and radiant, almost like the sun itself kissed and caressed his skin with the softest touches. Alex snapped Y/N into reality when he turned to face her and grabbed her hand to pull her closer to them, starting a long introduction no one was paying much attention to, explaining how he’d missed her arrival, like he even cared, and how she was the Au Pair they’d all been talking about ever since February. It wasn’t until Alex mentioned something about Y/N and Harry probably seeing each other a lot she was suddenly interested in what was actually going on.

“He owns the school the girl’s attend.” Alex directed towards her. Now, Y/N assumed the moment she laid eyes on him he was probably rich – who wears a suit to a Sunday dinner with friends? Rich people are weird, that’s something we can all agree on; but owning a school which’s monthly fees per kid were worth three of her salaries? That was quite unexpected.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Harry." Y/N offered him her hand, trying to sound as casual as possible, even if her skin felt like it was burning under his intense gaze and her eyes were definitely betraying her.

"The pleasure’s all mine, Y/N." He shook her hand. His strong hold sent shivers down her spine; the cold rings making a big contrast against the heat his hand radiated and she couldn't help but fantasize about how his touch would feel in some other places.

The sudden embarrassment feeling hot against her cheeks made her turn around impossibly faster, feeling guilty at the dirty thoughts consuming her brain while around her bosses – and in front of him. Making a beeline straight to her room, announcing she was calling it a night, she sent Harry a quick -but quite charming- smile, and couldn’t help but soften at the sound of Anya running down the stairs yelling an excited ‘Harryyyy’ once she was past the kitchen.

She knew she got lucky with her commodities – an entire studio-like apartment past the main kitchen of the house, where the servant’s area used to be located a handful of decades ago; but she cussed in a whisper when she remembered half way through her making of a sandwich (four hours after she’d retreated to her bedroom and because she decided on skipping dinner that night, not having enough energy to cook) that her lazy ass still hadn’t bought mayonnaise. Her small kitchen had enough space to hold her snacks, along with some ingredients to make a few meals, since she only had to worry about food on the weekends. Reluctantly, she took the small plate holding her sandwich and made her way towards the main kitchen. There was no way in hell she’d eat a sandwich with no mayo – never in a million years, too dry to go down her throat.

I guess they won't mind if I grab just enough to put on my sandwich, she thought. The house was quiet, everyone probably already in bed, therefore she almost pissed herself when she found Harry sitting in one of the kitchen stools, looking down at his phone with an annoyed expression adorning his face. Almost as if he could sense someone was in the same room, he looked up to find Y/N standing at the kitchen threshold, his face abandoning any sort of emotion.

"Hey."

"Hi." Y/N walked towards the fridge on the far right of the kitchen, opposite from where she came in. "Sorry, I thought no one was here."

"Don't worry, just waiting for Bella and Alex to come back down to have some tea, they're putting the girls to sleep. Would you like to join us?" He offered. And honestly, she'd love to say yes and just listen to him talk with that deep, melodic voice, but her stomach was really hating her right now.

"I'm good, just grabbing some mayo. Thank you, though." She declined with a small smile.

"Next time." He sounded more demanding than suggesting, which slightly baffled Y/N. "Can I ask where you are from?" He asked respectfully.

"A small town in the Argentine Patagonia." Y/N replied with her back facing him as she busied herself with the mayonnaise container.

"Never been to Argentina. Or anywhere in South America, actually." And when Y/N turned around, sandwich in hand ready to go back to her room, their eyes met across the kitchen and she felt the heat creeping up her neck for the second time that night. Y/N wondered how his gaze was always this intense – she wasn’t a fan of how they’d barely exchanged a few words and somehow she felt so exposed.

"You should. It's beautiful." She almost, almost, choked on her own words and when she looked down at her fuzzy pink socks and back to him to try and calm her growing nerves down, he surprised her when she caught him looking up and down her body – in any other case she definitely would’ve felt creeped out, but there was something about him, the fact that he definitely didn’t do it with the intention of her catching him (she noticed how he shifted uncomfortably on his seat after the exchange) and how he simply added a “I’m sure it is," afterwards, she knew she was fucked right then and there – she wanted him looking at her. Was that something bad?

But then – then she remembered how she was wearing her soft cotton pajamas, and she began wondering if he was just laughing internally at her outfit instead of checking her out like she initially thought. And just like a save from heaven, Bella and Alex appeared in the kitchen discussing who was picking Ivy up from her friend's house. "Hi Y/N, still awake?"

"Yeah, got hungry. Stole a bit of mayo, hope you don't mind." She shyly held the plate up.

"Please, this is your house too." Alex waved her off.

"Thanks. Gonna go back now." Y/N pointed towards the small hallway that led to her room. "Goodnight." Turning her body to walk away, she caught Harry's eyes, again, still staring at her, but decided on simply walking away, breaking eye contact, making that small interaction their last one for the night.

&

The following week consisted of Anya and Y/N playing lots of fun games, trying to get a word out of Charlie and Ivy ignoring her for the most part. Her relationship with each of them was completely different, each trusting her at their own peace, getting used to having a stranger around. Anya seemed the only one openly excited to hang out with Y/N every day, and even though she could tell Charlie didn't exactly mind her presence, she still hadn't talked to her as much as she'd like her to.

"What are you up to, Charlie?" Y/N asked the seven year old as she sat next to her in the big playroom they had on the main floor. Charlie kept her gaze locked on her drawing with a handful of crayons on her right hand as she drew with her left. "You're left handed? That's so cool!" Bella had mentioned some time ago that Charlie had a really hard time letting people in, Y/N knew it'd take some time for her to see her as a friend -like she wanted her to- rather than someone who gets paid to hang out with her, but Bella confessed Charlie was actually really excited to meet Y/N, which felt like a small relief, knowing she actually wanted her there – unlike Ivy. Charlie spoke only when necessary and struggled with making friends but her psych pedagogue said she's just really shy and that ‘once she breaks out of her shell, she's unstoppable’. "I love the birds you drew here." Y/N pointed at some small birds sitting in a tree branch.

"Bluebirds." She murmured.

Getting a single word from her was considered progress, in Y/N’s opinion, but that’s all she got for the entire afternoon – even after constantly sending comments her way while playing with Anya so Charlie wouldn’t feel left out, not a single word came out of her mouth. Anya mentioned Harry at some point while talking about her favorite doll (which Harry had gifted her for her 3rd birthday) and the flash of captivating green eyes almost blinded her internally (she couldn’t deny she’d thought about Harry every once in a while this past week)

And it wasn’t until later that same day, after spending a long while sitting alone in a nearby park, she got the chance to see him again – even if he had scared her (almost) to death, she couldn’t help but feel an annoying flutter in her stomach.

She would like to say she loved her long walks during the most unreasonable times at night, but her reasoning behind her late night needs of distraction didn’t exactly thrill her. It was during the quietest and most peaceful times of the day when her mind seemed to speed faster than ever before; the sleepless nights and brain-wrecking thinking of how alone and empty she actually felt, along with the laziness and reluctance when it came to things that used to make her happy weighed her down like carrying a sack of potatoes on her back.

As she was walking past her neighbor's house (the one where she had seen that man with the suitcases last week) she noticed someone sitting on the large porch. Weird, she thought. She hadn't noticed any movement in the house since that night a week ago, to the point she even considered it being empty again. The silhouette seemed oddly familiar though she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

"Y/N." She slightly jumped as she heard them call for her, in a strong and deep accent. Was that...

"Harry?" She asked befuddled. Did he live there? She watched as he stood up from his sitting position on the outdoor couch and walked across his front yard to take a closer look at him stopping at the bottom of the short staircase that leads to the porch. "What are you doing up so late?" And then something clicked in her brain – he was probably the man she saw that night, with his suitcases. It made sense, how he probably got home from vacation the same day he had dinner at the Lockehold's – the same day Bella mentioned something about him being in Italy

"Can't sleep." He simply replied, with a small sigh. He then nodded to the seat behind him, and Y/N could physically feel her brain going a thousand miles per minute. She sat on the far left of the couch as he retook his seat on the right, "what are you doing up so late?" He repeated her question.

And Y/N repeated his answer. "Can't sleep."

So they sat in silence, what felt like hours barely being a few seconds. "Didn't know you lived next door." Y/N took the time to take in his side profile - sharp and long nose, the tip curving slightly downwards when he spoke the next line.

"Never mentioned it." He replied apathetically. The unexpected switch in his tone made her immediately shut up, and even though it confused Y/N as to why he would want her joining him if he didn't want to talk, she was dreading going back to her room alone to drown in her thoughts again. She'd take uncomfortable company over being alone when her head got like this, it helped her get distracted; overthinking this situation instead of the same scenarios that constantly lived in her head.

They again sat in silence for a while, this time for longer than a few minutes, and even though it was slightly uncomfortable, there was an unspoken understanding between them. He just wanted company, and so did she. This time, however, it was him who tried for conversation. "Why did you choose England for your Au Pair program?"

"I was actually convinced I was going to choose France," Y/N shared with a soft tone, "but when I met the girls in one of my interviews I just knew I had to come here. Anya was so excited about meeting me, she thought it was already settled." She ended with a small smile on her lips. The memory of Anya smiling happily at her through the computer screen even when she hadn't had met her yet warming her heart.

It was true, the fact that she’d chosen England because of the girls. She wanted to learn French – she knew her way around the English language pretty well; but the French family whom interviewed her didn’t come close to the Lockehold’s at all – she thought maybe the experience of living in a whole different continent with a wonderful family was better than choosing a place because of the language – the experience was being experienced either way.

"Anya is a very special kid. They all are." Harry declared, the left corner of his mouth turning upwards in a small half smile.

Y/N nodded slowly before asking, "How long have you known them?" She could recall Alex saying he was a family friend – but she had no other information about him besides that.

"A while." The small conversation went for a long while, he shared the real reason as to why he was awake so late, explaining how he has struggled with falling asleep ever since he was young, but besides that comment, he kept his life very private; not sharing much information about himself during their chat, and every time Y/N reciprocated a question, he would either answer vaguely or didn't answer at all, changing the subject with another question. "It's really late" He commented, Y/N’s phone reading 1:08am.

"Yeah, I should probably go to bed." She lifted her head to look at him, who was already searching for her eyes. Y/N cleared her throat when a few moments passed by, again, with no one speaking a word. She wondered what could possibly be going through his head at the time, but he nodded, got up and said, "I'll see you around, Y/N." Her name flowed so nicely out of his lips it made her knees get weak. Locking herself in her bedroom (after entering it by the door at the side of the house – which leaded straight to her room) she laid in bed trying to understand why they’d just hang out in his front porch way past midnight when they clearly didn’t know each other very well – or at all, better said.

&

First day of classes came by in a heartbeat. The first Monday of September Y/N found herself getting up earlier than she was accustomed to, since the girl's sleeping schedule was different during the summer. 6:15am read her alarm when she lazily threw the soft covers off her body. A quick shower and minimal makeup application later, she stood naked next to her bed checking the weather app, as to know how to prepare the girl's clothes.

After putting a soft pink sweater on and a pair of flared jeans, Y/N left the warmth of her room to wake the girls up. Going for Charlie first (since she didn't need any help changing into her uniform and Ivy used her own alarm) she didn't give Y/N any work at all, waking up immediately after softly calling her name once. Picking her uniform from her closet and leaving it for her to change, Y/N left Charlie’s room to walk towards the next door.

"Morning, Anya." She whispered as she brushed some of her hair out of her face. Anya’s little nose scrunched up and a soft whimper left her mouth as she switched positions, now laying on her side, "gotta wake up, love." Y/N shook her arm softly, and she finally opened her eyes, a tired smile creeping up her face as she noticed it was Y/N sitting next to her. Y/N left her to rub the tiredness off her eyes while she picked her clothes (since her daycare was at the same school her older sister's attended -Harry's school, Y/N couldn't help but think- her uniform consisted of only a white t-shirt with the school logo along with any pair of bottoms she chose for the day.

After picking up her cute small rain boots and help her get dressed up, Y/N did a cute hairstyle on her with the small butterfly hair clips she chose, and went back to Charlie's room to do her hair, Anya coming along.

They arrived at their school; a big, period-like brick building with hundreds of students roaming around and a beautiful fountain at the front – which actually made Y/N’s childhood look like a big joke; the school she had attended was located in the middle of the mountains in a remote field.

"I'll be here at two thirty. Good luck, girls, I'll see you later." Ivy walked away sending a 'mhm' her way to let her know she heard her, and Charlie offered a small smile along with a wave and walked away like her sister. Y/N took Anya off her car seat and helped her get out of the car, her tiny backpack sitting on Y/N’s right shoulder as she grabbed the hand Anya offered her.

"Mommy said I have the penguins' classroom!" She said with excitement as they walked through the doors at the right wing of the building.

"That's so cool! I love penguins, let's search for the door which has penguins on it, shall we?" Y/N suggested even though she could clearly see their door at the end of the hallway.

"Yes! This one has elephants," she pointed at the door they were passing, "look, butterflies!"

"Like your hairclips!" Y/N exclaimed, and she giggled nodding her head. "Ah! Look what we found..." Y/N pointed at the next door.

"Penguins!" She skipped towards the door, dragging Y/N along. They entered the big and colorful classroom where they found some kids crying in their parent’s arms, others being as excited as Anya.

"Hi there! Anya, am I correct?" A woman who appeared to be around Y/N’s age came up to them, scrunching down to be on Anya’s eye level. She nodded frantically, excitement dripping from her smile. "My name is Miss Pia, I'm going to be your teacher this year." She introduced herself, Anya gave her an even bigger smile and slyly asked if she could go meet her classmates, to which Miss Pia agreed, asking her to first hang her small backpack in the rack at the back of the room, taking it from my hands and running excitedly to do it.

"You must be Y/N, then?" Miss Pia asked, getting back up to her feet. She was short with blonde curly hair sitting high in a ponytail, rosy cheeks and a cute teacher apron on top of her regular clothes.

"I am." Y/N offered her hand.

"The administration office said we would be having an Au Pair this year, they always give us a heads up with situations like these." She explained, and Y/N nodded as she continued, "we have the parents, nannies or in this case, Au Pairs," they both laughed," stay for the introduction, you can leave afterwards."

"Perfect, I'll sit at the back with the rest of the parents." Y/N ended up staying for about half an hour, smiling at Anya every time she turned to search for her when something exciting seemed to be happening. She won't be needing any adaptation, as Miss Pia said, and she was dismissed right before they had their first trip to the playground outside, taking advantage of the fact that it hadn't started raining yet.

Right when Y/N was walking out of the building, she spotted Harry at the main entrance, reading something on his phone. He was wearing a navy blue suit with a white shirt underneath, and he looked even more handsome in the daylight. She made her way towards him, walking up the marble stairs (marble stairs! In a school?), and when he noticed her, he put his phone away and slowly (and trying to be as discrete as possible – which he failed to, again) looked up and down her body. Something about him giving her his full attention made her insides burn, and she couldn’t help but bit her bottom lip to suppress a smile.

"Hi." She stopped in front of him, taking a moment to look at his eyes; they definitely looked a lot lighter now that there was natural light surrounding them.

"Hi." He repeated, "Dropped the girl's off?" He motioned towards the building with his head.

"Yes, just left Anya’s classroom." She shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

"Miss Pia?" He asked, squinting his eyes.

"Yes. She's nice, looks like she knows what she's doing." Y/N shrugged. She didn't exactly know her enough to have a conversation about her – and she most definitely couldn’t be one to talk, since she herself didn’t know what she was doing half of the time. “How’s the first day back been so far?” He got cut off from his next comment by his phone, and the small crease between his eyebrows grew deeper, which didn’t go unnoticed by Y/N. "I'll leave you to it." She announced, but his eyes found hers again, and it was almost like he was asking for her to not leave him to it, but Y/N didn’t trust her instincts, not with him – not when he made her so nervous her brain couldn’t process things around him, and she was scared of misreading his expressions; he was hard to read. Not like she was expert at reading people but he was frustratingly confusing.

&

They didn't see each other again until a week later on a Tuesday evening – the same day Charlie, Anya and her decided to go for a walk and treat themselves with ice cream from a cute shop across from (what had come to be) her favorite park, Harry and Y/N found each other's eyes across his front garden, just like that night, but this time it was easy for her to recognize him as she could see his face clear and glowing from the sunset shine. His eyes were glued to her until the fence that divided their houses blocked his view, and again, Y/N wondered what could be going through his head.

It wasn’t until after dinner, past her work hours, she decided to leave the house through the door on her room with the sparking curiosity to test if she would run into Harry. Stopping on the sidewalk in front of his house, she noticed he was not sitting outside, and even though that's exactly what she had expected -he was not going to sit there for hours and hours, right?- There still was a small feeling of disappointment that rushed through her, and when she snapped back into reality, it was too late to stop herself as she knocked on his front door.

And Y/N didn’t know where to hide – not like hiding would be less embarrassing but God she did hate herself that moment. The embarrassment running through her veins was painful and made her lightheaded – she knew she had trouble sometimes with not thinking things through, but this was beyond her. He barely knew her. And suddenly his door was wide open.

"Y/N?" Of course she was not lucky enough for him to be asleep and not hearing her knock – life would’ve been too in her favor for that to happen. Of course he was very awake with a half drank cup of tea in his hand and the softest looking pair of grey sweatpants hanging low on his hips. "Are you ok? You look really pale." His voice was calm, probably the softest it'd ever been in her presence. At least he doesn't sound mad, Y/N thought.

Harry wanted to be confused, but he was more curious than anything else. For some reason, he felt very intrigued by Y/N – how she seemed confident but insanely insecure at the same time; it reminded him of himself, if he had to be honest. He just learned how to hide the latter.

"Uh, yeah- um, I was-" she nervously turned around halfway to look behind her and back at him again. He raised his eyebrows in curiosity and Y/N really tried her hardest not to step over her words. "I was about to go for a walk, uh, I was wondering if you'd like to join me?" Stupid. So, so stupid, Y/N thought.

"No, I'm good." He replied, finding oh-so-amusing the way her eyes gave her embarrassment away – he was having fun, watching her like a lost puppy trying to think through her next words.

Her mind was, of course, over speeding. She now felt even more embarrassed. Of course he doesn't want to go for a walk, Y/N conscience spoke to her, it's a Tuesday night and he's probably tired and I'm his friends' Au Pair – he probably thinks I'm this young and annoying girl who has a stupid crush and- "would you like to join me?" He interrupted her self-beating up raising his cup and she noticed the half smile adorning his face, almost like he could tell the wheels in her brain were fast-moving.

"Wouldn't want to interrupt-"

"You're not. I wouldn't have invited you in if you were. C'mon in, now. It's kinda cold out here." He disappeared inside of his house, leaving her on his porch with an open mouth and a blank brain. After closing the door behind her and taking her black vans off, she turned on her left as she guessed that was the way Harry went – and she knew she’d guessed correctly when she stepped into a big open-plan concept living room with a giant kitchen on the far back, Harry standing with his back towards her preparing her tea, "sugar?"

"No, thank you." She sat in one of the stools at the kitchen island as she took the scene in front of her. Her very cute (and much older), very hot neighbor Harry, in sweatpants and a very thin white shirt, a small patch of skin showing on his hip, making her tea. His shoulders were broad and she could see his back muscles moving as he poured steaming hot water into the cup, the little curls on his neck so inviting, if only she could run her hand through his soft looking hair just once-

"There you go. Cardamom." He snapped her out of her (probably inappropriate) thoughts, and she thanked him as she grabbed the cup from where he placed it; he stayed in his position standing in front of her on the other side of the island, with his forearms against the cold marble, sipping on his own mug, thinking about how strange it felt to have someone he wasn’t close with sitting in his kitchen after so long. "Why are you up so late?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"I figured. I couldn't either, looks like we both have a bit of sleeping issues, huh?" He sounded playful, but tired. Y/N knew exactly how it felt, being so tired but not being able to peacefully go to bed and get some needed rest.

"I remember you mentioning it before, I figured I'd check if you were up. Walking helps me relax, thought maybe you'd enjoy it too." OK, that wasn't entirely true but her reasoning to be there was quite similar – to check if he was up so they could, maybe, share a quiet night like that one a few weeks ago. None of them understood why they found such comfort in each other’s company – none of them felt like they needed to try too hard.

At some point during their conversation they moved to the couch, where they laid with a wide gap between their bodies. "Elton John's was definitely an interesting read. Lots of crazy anecdotes, you should read it."

"Probably not as good as Keith's, but I'll give it a go." He let a dimpled smile creep into his face, turning his head to look at her from across the couch and the annoying turn her stomach made obliged her to return it, just as bright as his. Finding out their music taste was quite similar made Y/N’s insides all warm and fuzzy, he showed her his vinyl collection (which was quite large) and ranted about how the modern industry was missing a rock star with some of that unexplainable essence old rock bands have – to which she respond saying maybe that something that makes them special was the fact that they were old bands... added to the fact that even though she was an old music lover, modern pop was her guilty pleasure.

Their third teacups were long forgotten on the modern coffee table by the time he noticed Y/N’s eyes were slowly beginning to close and he, as last time, said, "it's really late." And Y/N only nodded and tiredly got up from her position, with him following close behind.

"Goodnight, Harry. Thank you for having me even though I came unannounced." She shyly said, her actions still making her embarrassed even though it had already been a couple of hours.

"My pleasure. We should- do this again," He coughed into his hand, and uncomfortably continued, "I enjoy your company." That sentence alone made her heart explode with a thousand emotions, because even though they barely knew each other and it clearly pained him to admit he enjoyed having her around, his presence made her calm but anxious in a peculiar mixture of emotions. All she did in return was gift him a big smile, face hot of embarrassment (a nice kind of embarrassment, that feeling when you just want to smile really big and tightly hug whoever is making you feel that way) and slowly pushed herself up on her tiptoes to give him a sweet kiss on the cheek. "Bye." He said lastly, and closed his front door with red cheeks and dimples on display.

- Joey.

[modern-academic]

Actually y'know what I do think studying the witchcraze of the 15th and 17th centuries for A-level history does give me some level of knowledge to talk about this (not saying I'm a professional, but I have studied under some exceptional history teachers). And I can speak from a European perspective also that the witchcraze did not really come from a 'herbs' thing. It came from a 'religious schism' thing.

(Pictures taken from my A-Level textbook: Access to History: The Witchcraze of the 16th and 17th Centuries, 2nd Edition, Alan Farmer) (also, sorry that all links are just to Wikipedia as I have work soon and am tired but wanted to respond to this)

I think part of the idea of the 'herbs' thing comes from the subject of cunning women, otherwise known as white witches who could be otherwise perceived as evil should their medicines fail.

However, this is by no means the case for all, nor anywhere near a majority, of witchcraft cases in Europe during this time period.

(Oh and for earlier views of the dark ages...)

Anyway, to my main point, there were so many reasons for the witchcraze and witchcraft prosecutions that it is infact pretty difficult to generalise (though of course there are overlying themes and similarities), yet many were very specifically localised and only heightened by the paralleling rise in witchcraft literature (e.g. see: Malleus Maleficarum, 1486; Daemonologie, 1597) that heightened hysteria and provided literal handbooks in identifying and hunting witches.

Whilst shifting religious views (see: the Protestant Reformation and the Counter-Reformation) were the overarching and arguably radical changes that underpinned a majority of trials, it is however important to consider just how drastically society was changing at the time on a range of levels. There was the print revolution (following the invention of the printing press) and increased literacy rates (greater access to knowledge and ideologies (e.g. the Tyndale Bible)), the change from strict feudalism to early capitalism (e.g. through trading and mercantile capitalism), various epidemics (e.g. plague), the 'mini ice age', population increase, breakdown in popular and elite culture (e.g. the Reformation of Manners), war (e.g. the Thirty Years War and the French Wars of Religion), regional variations, personal feuds, and various changes to judicial/legal systems.

Look, when I studied this you have to constantly remind yourself that you're discussing an entire continent (Europe) as well as case studies abroad (America), and that you're looking at a time span of over 200 years. There is no one size fits all when it comes to differing beliefs about witches.

Of course there are the stereotypes of gender, age, class, religion, race, profession, and whatever else, but do you really believe every stereotype you see? Of course not because it's literally not true! A stereotype is just that... a stereotype!

And not all historians will agree! A Marxist or socio-economic historian may argue that it was the introduction of early capitalism to society, both mercantile and agricultural, that underpinned the witch trials. Meanwhile, a feminist historian may argue it was the inherent misogyny of the patriarchal organisation of society that underpinned them. I've seen arguments over whether the printing press led to a greater social revolution than religious reforms. I've seen personal blood and sexually-related feuds escalated into cases that overtook whole regions and claimed many lives. Again, the persecution of witches has never been one size fits all. It has always been rooted in a wide complexity of political, religious, social, and economic and the idea of a 'war on women' has only ever been but a small part of that.

what was called "witchcraft" was a designation from the Christian/Catholics who did not like that the big majority of the healers (herbs and energy work) we done by women. In the Dark Ages, this was a good excuse to get rid by burning alive women (very few men) who dared know more and be successful with medecine! The essence of Patriarchy! They did not burn Witches, they burned Women!

...okay. I have no idea why you're sending this to me, or what your motivations are -- but let's unpack whatever the heck this is.

Depending on where we're talking about, the way "witches" were executed was varied -- in some places they were burned, but in other places (like England or the Americas) they were hanged.

People of all genders were targeted in the witch trials. Yes, most witch trials predominantly targeted women (because, yes, sexism is and has always been real), but in some areas (like Russia) they targeted predominantly men. And in the areas where women were the main targets, men still died too. Six of the twenty people killed in the Salem witch trials were men. Including Giles Corey. Who was crushed to death. And allegedly his last words were "more weight." That dude was fuckin' badass as hell, and we don't diminish his stand against injustice.

Of course none of the people executed were actually "witches." They were vulnerable people. Some were Jewish, some were mentally ill, some were just easy targets when a paranoia was sweeping a town, and some were folks being targeted for other political/personal reasons. Your oversimplification of who was targeted not only erases real victims, it ignores many of the very real issues that were responsible -- including things like antisemitism. Your desire to transform this into some empowering narrative is, frankly, gross.

And again, why the fuck are you sending this to me? I have repeatedly stated over the years that no one in the witch trials was actually a "witch." Where the heck have you ever seen me claim that? I have whole podcast episodes where I talk about this shit. We never refer to historical folk magic and folk medicine practitioners as witches, because that's a modernly reclaimed term. No one really called themselves a witch until the 20th century.

You got real "daughters they couldn't burn" vibes here, kid. And it ain't a good look.

[outthefryingpan]

Your writing is amazing ! I'm a sucker for fluff personally,, so if I have to suggest something,, it'd be cuddles. Just cuddling after a long,, busy day. Maybe in Winter,, a specially cold day,, those are the best days for cuddling,, and more so if it's with such a hot (pfft) monster like Grillby ! Just giving ideas,, I'll be happily reading anything you update here next. Have a nice day. :)

Cold Nights

Pairing: Grillby/Reader

Rating: Everyone

Notes: I’m a sucker for that too! I very much enjoy this suggestion, thank you! Send more any time u like :^> This is set on the surface! Most of the pieces I write will be set this way unless stated otherwise.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can’t believe how late it is when you finally begin walking home. Pulling your phone out and pressing the home button tells you it’s only a few minutes away from midnight. Your feet ache, and you want nothing more than to just crawl into bed.

Luckily for you, it isn’t a long walk to Grillby’s from where you are, maybe a little over 5 minutes, but you really hadn’t anticipated it being this cold and blustery out. Then again, you didn’t anticipate your boss holding you back as late as she did either, so you use that as your excuse for being jacket-less. In reality, it probably wouldn’t have been much warmer out even if you did leave on time, but you’re just going to ignore that. You unceremoniously shove your phone back into your pocket and quicken your pace, holding your hands together in an attempt to conserve some of your already waning warmth. 

In hopes of distraction, you let your mind begin to wander. Initially your prerogative is “think warm thoughts”, but of course that only leads you to thinking of Grillby. It’s inevitable. He’s the warmest thing you can think of.

You think back to when he first opened up his bar on the surface, and how he would stay open all night, every night. The new influx of customers quickly overwhelmed him, and so he changed his hours to accommodate a new goal of his, one he’d adopted upon reaching the surface. He called it the, “not work myself to death” rule. You, nothing more than a new friend at the time, had laughed at that. It was one of the first jokes he’d made around you. You laugh again now, thinking about how horrible a job he’s done in sticking to his goal. Maybe it’s just unrealistic for him, you muse.

No, that isn’t fair. He drastically changed his hours when he first got here. Underground, he’d been open every day from noon to 3AM. How he’d managed a 15 hour work day every single day all by himself was absolutely beyond you, but he told you that down there, he really didn’t have much else to do. 

In a more private setting, after the two of you had grown closer, he confessed that when he lived underground, he felt a sense of obligation to be open as often as possible, to act as a sort of home base for those monsters who were struggling, or just needed someone to help stave off their loneliness. 

Here on the surface, things are better! But they’re a lot different too, a lot busier. And so, with some kind pushing from his friends, he had ultimately decided not only to tighten his hours, but to hire some help as well.

You consider that to be the start of a deeper relationship blossoming between the two of you. You had offered to wash dishes and help with cleanup, and he gratefully accepted. You started talking more, spending more time together, and... The rest is history, you suppose. 

Now, he takes Sundays off, and closes at 10PM on Mondays. His daily hours are still pretty packed, but he has more servers and kitchen staff to help out with them. 

Suddenly, you blink in surprise at yourself as that reminds you of something.

Today’s Monday! That means he should have closed a while ago! 

You sent him a text earlier when you found out you would be late home and told him not to worry, but you totally forgot that it was possible for you to end up working later than him. That is a rare occurrence. 

Well then! 

You become excited at your findings, but quickly realize they mean that he may be sleeping. Rats... You need to be quiet coming in, then.

A chatter sounds in your skull just as the bar comes into view. It isn’t quite snowing out, but the biting, billowing wind is strong enough to drain most of the heat from you. Your fingers feel numb as they blindly wiggle around in your pocket, looking for your keys even though you’re still a little ways away from the front door. By the time you reach it, you’re putting in a pretty significant amount of effort to minimize your shivering and get it unlocked. It’s situations like these that make you thankful to only have a few separate keys to keep track of on your key ring.

The door itself is pretty new, but still creaks lightly as you push it open. Then, you almost lose your grip on the knob when a particularly strong gust of wind shoves you in through the front door. You stumble forward. 

Startled as you are, it doesn’t take you long to recover, close the door firmly behind you, and lock it with a huff. You’re just glad no one is around to have seen your little blunder. Hand still on the door, you sigh out your relief. Grillby would definitely be alerted by the door swinging open and slamming into the wall. He’d be alerted if you face-planted into the hardwood flooring, too. 

After taking a moment to smooth yourself out and appreciate the internal temperature of the bar, you glance around the dark room. As you expected, tables and chairs are neat, lights are off, and not a speck of dust can be seen. Sometimes you wonder if Grillby gets off on extreme cleaning. You snicker quietly to yourself.

The rise in temperature is great compared to the freezing nightmare you’d endured outside, but it isn’t anywhere near enough to stop your shivering. So you beeline for the staircase that leads to Grillby’s apartment- or more accurately, your ticket to comfort. It’s a little hard to see, and you nearly trip once on the way up, but the reward you’re met with upon entering is well worth it.

Instantly, you’re flushed with a wave of warmth.

Grillby sits on the couch in the living room that faces the door, knuckle pressed to the side of his mouth and book in hand. Your entrance alerts him, and his head turns up so his eyes can meet yours. They look tired. Yours do too.

He can see you shivering still, and it makes him frown. However, the beginning of a small smile finds its way onto his face when he lifts a hand and waves you over. Both of you know what comes next. You step toward him eagerly. 

Without a word spoken between the two of you, he places the thick, old looking novel down on the table in front of him, and opens himself up to you. Rather than sitting next to him like he had expected, you opt for plopping down directly in his lap, arms around his shoulders and legs on either side of him. He lets out a surprised grunt, but it quickly dissolves into a chuckle as his arms find their way around your midsection. You relish in the warmth they offer.

“You’re cold.” He starts.

“You’re warm.” You reply, though it’s muffled by the fabric of his thin shirt. He hears you despite this, and a fiery brow quirks up. 

“Aren’t I always?” Grillby asks. You can hear the teasing smile in his voice, but nod against him regardless. Thanks to him, you can feel your shivers mostly subside.

“Yea, but I especially appreciate it when it’s freezing out.” Comes your voice once more. Sighing, you feel his arm begin to rub slowly up and down your back, a soothing, sweeping motion that transfers his heat to you even faster. Suddenly comfortable, you’re reminded of how totally exhausted you are.

“I always tell you to bring a coat.” He tries for a chastising tone, but can’t help that it comes out as soft as it does. His voice is just a mumble now, reaching your ears easily despite its low volume. This is in part because he’s taken the liberty of placing his cheek against your head.

“Heh..Yeah...” You concede, burrowing your face further into him. It’s a long moment before you speak again. “I didn’t think you’d be up. Aren’t you tired?” At this question you look up at him as much as your current position will allow, cheek still smooshed into his shoulder.

His response is low, and doesn’t come immediately, which kind of gives you an answer in itself: Yes.

“Mm... I am..” He confirms your suspicion. A little more quietly, he continues. “But you were still out, and...” The elemental’s head lazily tilts, and the flames constantly spiraling off of it follow the movement. You catch him glance out the window. As if wanting to help illustrate his point, another forceful gust of wind rattles it just slightly.

A little guilt twists your stomach. He always worries, and you should have known he would be waiting. You should’ve fought harder to leave on time. You expect he’s going to finish the thought, but you already know where he’s headed, so you preempt him.

“You didn’t need to wait up for me...” You say softly. 

The response you get is hushed, but still quite matter-of-fact.

“I did. I wanted to. ...I like going to bed with you.” His tone is so simple, so casual, so... sweet. He’s just speaking honestly, yet it affects you so much. The guilt you feel morphs into adoration, and the feeling makes you grin. You’re sure he can feel it against him, but duck your head back down anyway.

“OK.” Your voice is muffled once more. But the smile in it is audible. A short, breathy hum escapes him, the sound like a sleepy little laugh.

The two of you stay like that for a few minutes, wrapped up in each other. The calm rise and fall of his chest slows further, and the surrounding blanket of his warmth cradles you softly. 

You don’t want to, but you eventually have to turn your face to the side. As comfy as he is, it’s a little hard to breathe that way. This movement seems to take him a bit off guard, and rouses him from a drowsiness he’d almost let get the better of him. You feel and hear the deep breath he sucks in as he shifts, bringing himself back off the brink of sleep. He props himself back up against the couch, holding you still as he does. You let out a large yawn, and gently pat his back.

“OK...Time for bed?” You ask quietly. In his sleep-addled state, he can only nod. Without another word, arms around your middle become hands on your waist, and he lifts you off of him and gently places you on the cushion next to him. Slowly he stands, stretching. His flames crackle and pop with the action, and once he’s satisfied he lets out the breath he’d been holding and turns to you with a bright orange hand extended.

For a moment, you consider asking him to carry you. You’re exhausted! But another look at his slightly lopsided posture and barely open eyes reminds you he’s right there with you. So you make do with just grabbing his hand and using it to help pull yourself up. Once you’re on your feet, you two begin a slow stroll to your shared bedroom, and step inside. 

The blinds are drawn, so the only light permeating the darkness you stumble around in to change is Grillby himself. You end up in just your underwear and a big T shirt. Following your lead, he removes his own top and bottoms, leaving himself only in his briefs. 

It’s only about 45 seconds after you enter the room that both of you are crashing into bed. You simply let yourself fall face first. He as usual is a little more graceful about things, gently lifting the covers for himself, and helping you work your way under them too. Your tired body sings in relief as you sink into the mattress, your back to the flaming monster beside you.

Unsatisfied with this, you fight the sleep off for a little longer to wiggle a bit. A questioning hum leaves him, and by the sound of it, he’s working pretty hard to stay awake too. You turn under the covers, trying not to muss them too much and he seems to get the idea. Warm hands land on your sides again as he helps you turn toward him, eager to pull you closer. 

It’s a little brighter when you face him, but that’s never bothered you. Especially not when you’re this worn out. He sighs happily at this change, and his arms circle tightly around you, a hand finding the back of your head and threading itself through your hair. 

His digits comb against your scalp ever so gently, drawing a pleased hum from your closed lips. Not many people know (because how could they? He certainly isn’t going around talking about it), but Grillby is quite a physical being. He had some old hang ups that made it hard for him to embrace that about himself at first, and is polite and accommodating to a fault sometimes, but once you’d made him comfortable enough he gave in to his desire to hold you more often, and hold you closely. 

Once again, you thank the fucking stars for that. Especially on nights like these. Gone is any trace of the icy chill that consumed you earlier. 

Without missing a beat, you place your own hands on his broad back, now giving him the same treatment you had received earlier. He’s larger than you, as most monsters tend to be, but it doesn’t hinder your efforts to gently rub your arm up and down along his spine, fingers only deftly making contact. The hand not doing this splays out across his shoulder blade, then creeps up to rest on the point where his shoulder meets his neck. It wouldn’t be long now for either of you. Your eyelids close, but he looks down at your calm form for a little longer. 

A murmured utterance of your name grips the last inklings of your attention. Your eyes slowly drag themselves open again, and a drowsy, “Hmn..?” escapes you. His voice is almost a whisper when he speaks, leaning down so his mouth is closer to your head.

“I love you...” Grillby breathes out. You smile, and lightly kiss whatever of his skin is closest to your lips. That turns out to be a spot on his chest, right under his collar. There’s a small smooching sound as you pull back.

“...Love you too.” You exhale against him. With the last of his effort, he throws a leg over yours, crooking it to bring you closer still, and fully embrace you.

Those are the last words spoken that night. All that follows is the dull crackling of flames and the soft sound of breathing as you both allow your bodies the rest they’ve been aching for.

[mrfeenysmustache]

Some Family is Found

Summary: A collection of vignettes about the Higurashi family, from Single Dad Souta, schoolyard fights, blended family of three then four, and learning to let go and let fate take control.

"Papa Souta!"

Yanked from sleep with a harsh gasp, Souta was already half rolled out of bed and running before his eyes had fully opened. He knew that tone, scared and frail and small, and his body had become well trained over the last year to respond to it immediately.

He dashed quickly from his room to hers, throwing open the door and flinging himself inside right to her little bed where she sat wide eyed and terrified much like she had been when he'd first laid eyes on her.

"Towa! I'm here. You're safe. It was just another nightmare."

No sooner had he sat next to her had she thrown herself into his arms, shaking and snuggling while he crooned wordlessly and petted her soft, white hair.

The first time she'd called him Papa had been a night just like this one. A handful of months passed with her in his care and every night she woke in a fright, babbling about sisters and fires and someone named Setsuna. She'd clung to him just this way, rubbed her sniffling little nose into his shoulder and called him Papa with a shaky sigh that bound his heart right up.

Her nightmares came further apart from that night on, but every once in a while he was still needed to chase away the darkness.

"It's okay, it will all be alright." He shushed gently, swaying her back and forth while he scratched at her scalp and rubbed her back. Eventually she quieted down and then went limp with sleep again. He tucked her back into her bed, smoothed the hair back from her forehead and smiled at the peace that returned to her little cherub face.

He checked her alarm clock and sighed; it was early enough that she wouldn't normally be up, but his own alarm clock was about to go off, signaling his painfully early study hour. He was almost done with his degree and then waking before the sun could, hopefully, become a thing of the past. With one last look at the sweetly sleeping face of his little daughter, Souta quietly left her room to return to his own.

———

The bell chimed the end of the day and a flurry of tiny bodies rushed passed him, giggling and squealing and eager to leave the school yard behind until tomorrow. Souta gulped and straightened his shoulders before striding across the lawn and entering the doors once the last of the children had filtered out.

He'd spent enough of his own childhood here to know where he was going, and his legs carried him unconsciously to the principals office where he'd been called in for an important meeting.

He steeled himself at the door and took another deep breath before opening it dipping his head in greeting to the principal and eyeing the wilted form of the white haired toddler he'd been asked to come in to discuss.

His heart panged at the sight of her, his normally vibrant girl so small and sad and dejected, one of her pigtails drooping and a bright red scuff mark marring her round cheek.

'Oh no...'

"Higurashi-San, Thank you for coming."

"Of course." He replied, sitting in the empty seat across from the large desk.

A pair of sad red eyes shifted his way and he smiled softly, reassuringly.

The principal finally looked up from her paper work and blinked, looking perplexed before adjusting her glasses.

"I'm so sorry, there must be some confusion, I believe I requested that Towa-Chan's mother or father come in to speak today."

Souta winced internally, but kept his expression genial and placid.

"Yes, you did. There's no confusion. I am Higurashi Souta, Towa-Chan's father."

The principal blinked again and cleared her throat, looking between he and little Towa with a glint in her eye he didn't appreciate.

"My, you certainly look very young to be a father." She said crisply, and Souta bristled and struggled to keep his tone polite.

"I'm sure it doesn't surprise you to know I hear that quite a lot."

"Yes well. Let's get to the point, shall we? Towa-Chan has been exhibiting some shocking behavior of late. We are very concerned."

"As are we, she's made us aware that she's been on the receiving end of some unfair teasing."

The principal sniffed and shuffled her papers before folding her hands primly.

"Be that as it may, we can not tolerate violence against our other children, and Towa has instigated several physical altercations this week alone. Unless something drastic is done, she is risking expulsion."

His eyes widened and he sat up straighter in his seat, meeting the principal's gaze unflinchingly before looking once again on Towa. She still didn't look up, staring at her feet and making herself as small as possible. It broke his heart, and he heaved a sigh before looking back to the principal with a smile.

"I understand. I'll talk with her tonight. Thank you for your time."

He stood and scooped Towa up from her seat. She curled into him and he strode quickly out of the building. He stopped on the stairs to switch her over to his back, and after hooking his arms behind her knees she rested her head against his shoulder and sighed a forlorn sigh.

"I'm sorry Papa Souta. I caused so much trouble."

Her little voice, small and broken, tore into him, and he wondered if he might be doing something wrong.

He knew he was young to be a father, especially to a school aged child like Towa. She was barely six, but he wasn't quite out of university just yet, and was far from the ideal situation for having small, helpless people depending on you. He still had so much to learn himself.

"Don't worry about it Towa-Chan. No one wants to be picked on. You just need to remember your strength. You aren't like the other kids, you're much stronger."

"Okay." It was barely above a whisper, and Souta hated for her to sound like that.

The rest of the journey home was made in heavy silence, but Mama Higurashi swept in to lend her gentle touch and Souta watched Towa brighten a little under her attention.

Cookies and tea and an affectionate pat on the head as her grandmother helped her color a picture soon had Towa back on track and Souta sighed in relief.

"Why don't you go and study for your upcoming final and leave us girls to our own business, hm?"

"Thanks mama."

——

Mama Higurashi tearfully hung the picture she'd taken just a few nights before on the wall, brimming with love and pride.

Souta smiled back from the center of the frame draped in his graduation gown with Towa beaming atop his shoulders, his graduation cap covering her white hair.

It's not what she ever expected the photo of his university graduation would look like, but she glanced at the high school graduation photo of her firstborn daughter and grinned.

Both of her children seemed fated to walk interesting paths that twisted off from the rigid one set in place by society at large.

She couldn't say she was anything but proud.

A squeal of delight drew her attention to the window nearby and she watched indulgently as Souta scooped Towa up before falling to the ground with her, tickling her sides while she laughed and wiggled away.

A thread of worry wrapped around her heart then and she said a silent prayer that this new school year coming up for her would be easier than the last.

A new school, a fresh start, hopefully her granddaughter would fare better with the students at this school than she had before. She was such a dear girl with an unshakable sense of justice that she already couldn't help but fight tooth and nail for.

The sun glowed off her little white pony tails and her smile stretched freely across her face, and Mama Higurashi found herself wondering not for the first time if they hadn't ended up adopting Kagome and Inuyasha's child.

She looked very little like them aside from her hair color, but she certainly had Kagome's sense of right and wrong and Inuyasha's strength to back it up.

The likelihood of that was low, especially as she'd only ever spoken of someone named Setsuna.

"Well, time to call them in for dinner."

———

"I'm sorry Papa Souta. I cause you so much trouble..."

"It's alright Towa. I was thinking this other school would be better for you anyway. They have a wrestling team!"

Her eyes still held a glimmer of uncertainty and guilt, and though he was was stressed and concerned, he didn't want her shouldering such feelings all the time.

He knew she remembered her life before he'd found her on his front lawn, that she'd come from somewhere else before they'd taken her in, before he'd decided raise her as his own child, and he had a suspicion that she feared he might one day grow tired of her escapades and be done with her.

But he just couldn't. She may not have come from him, but she was his.

He was going to stick with her no matter what.

We have to go pick up your uniform next week, they have several colors to choose from, is there one you like best?"

He handed her the brochures and watched her nose scrunch up at the list of pictures of skirts with different colors and numbers of pleats, and bit his lip to keep from laughing outright.

"Um, no, I don't have any preferences."

"You're sure?"

"Anything is fine, really!"

"Alright. Well, have you been practicing with the sword you found with grandpa the other day?"

Suddenly her face lit up like the sun, and Souta sat back and listened while she detailed all the things she'd been practicing that she'd seen on various internet videos.

Her last teacher had admonished him for allowing her to peruse such interests.

'It's wildly unlady like. You should not be encouraging swordplay from a girl who already can't control her violent urges with her peers!'

She'd even thrown in a barb about her lack of a mother.

But while Souta agreed that Towa needed to be less violent while at school, he couldn't imagine discouraging her from the things she loved, even if they weren't the most feminine.

She bounced around the room, showing him some of the swings and stabs she'd nearly mastered and he couldn't help but think her Aunt would be so proud to watch her follow in her footsteps.

———-

"Grammy, when will Papa Souta be home again?"

"Oh much later I think Dear. I'll be tucking you in tonight, is that alright?"

Towa nodded solemnly but then burst into bright giggles when she saw her grandmother pull the secret stash of cookies out from the back of the cleaning cabinet.

"It's a big night Towa, what say we celebrate early?"

Mama Higurashi sat on the couch and let Towa settle in beside her before opening the box and letting her select two.

"One for each hand!" She chirped, smiling up at her, red eyes glimmering. It was their long standing tradition and she cherished how much her rapidly growing granddaughter still enjoyed it. She was now teetering on the edge of childhood, a vibrant girl rapidly approaching her pre-teen years.

"One for each hand my darling."

"So... you think she'll say yes?"

Mama eyed her granddaughter for a moment, but her face was unreadable.

"I do. She's a lovely woman."

"Yeah. She is."

"Do you not wish for her to join the family?"

Towa crunched into her cookie and chewed thoughtfully for a moment.

"It's not that. What if she doesn't like living with me all the time?"

"Oh Towa honey, Moe-Chan loves you! She's probably the most understanding person we've ever known. She's certainly taken everything in stride."

"She makes Papa Souta happy."

"She does. You know most of all he wants you to be happy though, right dear?"

"And I want him to be happy too. So yes, I hope she says yes tonight." Towa replied, leaning into her grandmother's side.

"Can we watch my favorite movie tonight?"

"That awful horror film? No chance young lady!"

Towa erupted into giggles while her grandmother put on calm, soothing movie they both enjoyed, and Towa drifted off into sleep feeling safe and content.

———-

Moe Higurashi hovered awkwardly in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, watching Towa as she sat still as a statue at the dining table, head down and pillowed on her arms. She heaved a tired sigh, and Moe's heart constricted.

She'd known before she married Souta that his daughter had many troubles at school. She was strong and sure and didn't stand aside when others were being mistreated. Thus, she was often a target for those who wanted to prove themselves stronger than her.

Towa had started another new school just this week, and already the fighting had started again. She could practically feel the stress and guilt oozing off her young step-daughter's young shoulders, and she wanted so badly to do something about it without overstepping any boundaries.

An idea struck her and she stepped quietly away to retrieve her violin from her room. Towa had not moved an inch when she returned, and in fact didn't seem to be aware of anything outside of her own troubled thoughts.

Moe hesitated for one more moment before delicately clearing her through and startling Towa out of her funk.

"May I sit here please?"

Towa nodded and watched silently as Moe took the seat across from hers and began tuning the strings of her violin. And then, without a word, she brought the instrument up, held it in place, and pulled the bow across the strings. She played something low and soothing, something that filled the room as well as all the stormy spots in Towa's mind until she felt the tension melt from her.

She put her head back down, but this time Moe noted with pride that her shoulders were noticeably less rigid. She continued to play even after Towa lifted her head and listened with a smile.

———-

There had been many times in the month since bringing his new baby home that Souta thought his heart would burst open with love and pride and happiness, and this time was no different.

Little Mei, still so small and sleepy and new, was reclined comfortably on a soft blanket his mother had knitted. She was fast asleep, swaddled tightly into a little bundle, and Towa had stretched out on the floor next to her, gazing lovingly down at her and running her fingers over the soft, wispy hairs on her head. She was whispering something, something he couldn't quite make out, but the look of devotion on her face toward her new little sister took his breath away. They were as mismatched a set as he'd ever seen. Mei's soft brown hair and eyes contrasted sharply to the burning red of Towa's eyes, or the shock of silver that grew from her head, but they both lived deep inside his heart.

Moe entered from the opposite side of the room from the kitchen with a flour stained apron around her waist.

"There are my girls! Towa, I've brought you a cookie fresh from the oven."

"Thank you Mama Moe." She whispered in return, careful not to wake her sister, and Souta watched Moe valiantly attempt to keep her own emotions in check. He knew how much it meant to her that Towa had grown so close to her.

"Let me know if you need anything."

Moe went back into the kitchen, and Souta took another indulgent moment to watch his daughters begin forging their bond.

————

Souta held his smile until the moment the shining portal winked out of existence, and then his expression fell and he grabbed desperately for his mother's hand.He squeezed it and she responded immediately.

"Souta, what's wrong my son?"

"How-" he gulped around the fear rapidly growing and choking him, watched Moe scoop up a crying Mei, silent tears tracking down her own face, and knew the dam on his emotions would break soon. "How did you do it mama? How did you... how did you let Kagome go over and over and over? How were you always okay with this?!"

Mama sighed and rubbed his back, staring off into nothing for a moment as old fears and anxieties swam back up from the recesses of her memories.

"Come inside my dears, let me make you some tea and try to ease your worries. At least, let me help you try to manage them better than I was able."

Souta hung back until the others had filed inside and looked back at the place his daughter had just disappeared without a trace. He'd watched his sister vault over the well time and again and remembered the distant fears he'd had for her as a child.

But she'd had Inuyasha, his larger than life living legend brother-in-law who he was convinced could beat any opponent conceivable.

This time, he wasn't a child anymore, and this wasn't his sister.

This was his child, one he'd practically grown up with he'd been so young when he'd adopted her.

And though he knew what she was, the very same sort of being his childhood hero was, still he worried.

For her safety, for her wellbeing, for her life.

He closed his eyes, and for a moment he prayed, that she would remain safe and unharmed, that she would find what she was looking for, that she would solve her quest, that she would return to them.

And then he wiped the tears from his face, and turned from the Sacred Tree that had taken her away, and he walked inside, trailing pieces of his heart behind him.

[yuvon-writes-letters]

Hey guys :)

Maybe I'm going chronological for one time, so I can sort my thoughts easier.

Yeah, Goldie's much mire active than I would've thought, too. But they did all those things to keep me alive and kind of save, since we still don't know who they are exactly working against. (I mean, we don't know who Goldie exactly is either, but you get my point)

Honestly, I am pretty sure the TSB timeline is continuing, at least if my theory that Goldie just set me back in an alternate timeline is true. In this case I feel sorry for TSB, though..Extremely sorry. He still was 'my' Jake back then, even though he acted weird in the end (maybe was manipulated by entities). I mean, if what he wrote was true he went with authorities. And in the end..this could've been his downfall.

And yeah, maybe I'm not exactly safe, but I just have to go back. If I go, and if I lose my job, I have some things to sort out. And Jake luckily agreed with me that clearing up my desk isn't the worst thing I can do before leaving. We're still thinking about a location, which I could luckily deside myself. Max agreed on that. Even though he still has some doubts. (I mean, of course...His cousin opened the door with bruises all over her face.) He did promise to not ask any questions until I feel ready, though. That gives myself and Jake some time to figure that out.

And also, Jake is right! We have three Jakes and three smart people. YUVON. And of course Goldie, like you said Yu :) And some information about the previous timeline. (And that was it with being chronological)

So yeah, like I said, Max and I'll go. And I also think we can be pretty certain now that the message came from Goldie not the MWAF (which is relieving). I saw the messages and they didn't make Jake the bad guy. I honestly just don't think I can quote them yet. (They're too good, but I probably start daydreaming if I do) But they talk about Jake being an important part of my life and my heart and Max protecting me when he cannot. My dear cousin jumped to conclusions when he saw my bruised face. About Max' phone...I'll probably throw it in a river or something if he brings it with him. I told him not to, also because of Jake (he's not only worried about the MWAF apparently...He didn't exactly say it out loud, but I think it's pretty obvious) but he loves this device.

And I emphasize with you about the being kidnapped thing, you'll manage it, I know it :) And if I need to jump dimensions and box some sense into your Crow-Crew xD

No but for real, you can do that. I know it :)

Jake, find a good point in time to talk to her. But do it :)

Otherwise, I still think the 'underlying desire' theory is a possibility! But, like always in the moment, we could be wrong.

As for my stasis, I really do not wish to talk to more people who think I've been kidnapped. And I am a bit scared that could somehow lead to either them or me being in more danger again. But for now we have to wait.

I for now will pack some important things and paper & pens xD I don't want to leave y'all behind :P

Liska🐾🔥

[A screenshot is glued to the back of the letter and the quick sentence "Jake wants to talk to Jake" is written above]

Hello Jake, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am not quite sure in which way Liska will handle giving you my message, but she promised me to not read it for now.

I don't know whether she told you before or not, but as far as I am concerned she realised I am not only worried about the MWAF chasing her.

With me breaking out of this stasis I am sure that my followers aren't that far behind. And I know you can't do anything from where you are, but cross checking way to protect her doesn't seem to bad to me. Especially since we are similar but still fairly different from each other. At least it seems like that from what I have read.

For my part, I recently improved and updated Nym-OS which allows me access to Liskas whereabouts. If Yuvon should read this, she knows and agrees to it.

Still I am yet stuck on one little detail: I am trying to help Nym-OS in counterattacking. So, even though I am sure you already knoe this yourself, Nym-OS gets the ability to access location of the people attacking Liskas phone. I am almost done with that, so we are able to see a bit easier if and where people are that could be a danger.

Do you have any other ideas for ways I could help? Or even improve what I am doing momentarily. I wouldn't normally ask this since I know and trust my skills, but I think that this is fairly different from a 'normal situation'.

~ Jake

Lis,

Um. I don't know if you've seen the newest person to send in a letter, but we now have an issue.

Jessy, if you're reading this, I was sort of trying to avoid talking about this right away but I'm sort of trapped in a weird place, and Jake's here too because I'm a dumbass. I did not, so you know, let him read your letter or my reply. I figured you wouldn't want that. Sorry for dancing around the issue earlier :/ But at least you can get a good sample of the complete insanity we go through on the regular now!

Yeah... you're getting thrown into the deep end right now, aren't you. Sorry. There's no way to ease into this. You should probably either stop reading these entirely or start reading the letters from the beginning, so this will all at least make some sense. The first letter should start with the words "To whoever reads this," just so you know you get the right one.

Back to you, Lis. Yeah, I feel pretty bad for TSB Jake too. I honestly can't imagine being in his position right now.

Alright. So, you can choose the place. Great! There's way less chance of you being caught that way...

Tragedies just seem to be happening to all us Duskwood detectives, recently, don't they? Rai is chronically overworked and barely has time to sleep, I'm stuck in this hellhole and I've been forgotten by most everyone, you were shot, and poor Matt died and... well.

I never knew him, but I feel really bad for him :(

You could give Max half the truth. Tell him you have a stalker, and he's starting to get physical. Jake has been trying to help you get away from the asshole. It's not even a lie, just... not the full truth. Because. You know. The whole truth is completely fucking insane.

Writing to Jessy just put into perspective how insane everything is, I think. Gimme a sec.

Oh, fuck. My Jessy just texted me. Great timing.

Jeez that whole thing with me leaving myself out was just a joke XD If I knew you and Jake would take it so seriously, I'd never have said anything. I'll steer clear from now on.

Yeah, okay, definitely Goldie. That makes way more sense. I don't think you have to be quite so drastic as destroying the phone. Just get him to leave it at home for the trip.

Ahaha, thanks. I don't think that's necessary, though. Actually, seeing future!Jessy's perspective has caused a bit of a paradigm shift. I think I might need to reconsider what all to tell and not to tell the Crow Crew. I just sort of default to keeping things secret, now, but you've seen how well that worked for me with you and Rai, and with Jake.

Again, you probably should wait for them to contact you first, but you WILL need to talk to them when that happens. What you say to them and what you don't is up to you.

Pack a couple different pens XD We're all a bit long-winded.

That's all from me :)

(The handwriting changes to Jake's.) Hallo, Lis.

Yuvon refuses to tell me what precisely she means about Jessica. Was she somehow contacted by an alternate version of Jessica? If so, how?

I am glad it was Goldie who contacted Max. Yuvon's suggestion for an excuse seems a good one, as there are far less things to remember that way. You simply need to oversimplify everything.

I do not, unfortunately, entirely believe that Yuvon was joking when she made that comment, based on previous comments and her ongoing guilt. I can't understand sometimes why she feels the need to lie so much. It is difficult for me to read people, much less her.

I will speak to her eventually. Early tomorrow, perhaps, if nothing else rears its head. Yuvon looks tired, and I am also admittedly not at my peak. I sincerely hope she does not wake up as early as she does every single day. It may get somewhat taxing, what with the lack of coffee here.

I think that is all from me to you, Lis. If you would kindly find a way to send the next section to my counterpart without looking at it, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you :)

—Jake and Yuvon

Jake,

It is a pleasure to meet you as well, despite the unusual circumstances.

That our pursuers may be freed from the stasis is a logical conclusion. Seeing as the last known location I had on them in my universe was approximately five hundred miles from Duskwood, they will likely be some of the first to free themselves from the stasis. I do not believe I need to warn you that time is of the essence.

It seems as if I am a small distance ahead of you in the development of countermeasures, perhaps because I have had more linear time to develop them. If you are where I think you are at in the development, you likely have or will soon hit a bug you cannot pin down that makes the pinpointing mechanism simply refuse to work at all. Presuming your and my version of NYM-0S are similar enough, the issue should lie in the public bool set in line 132 of the third part of the targeting script, the script that decides what constitutes a target; you have it defaulted to "false" where it should default to "true".

As for additional countermeasures: I was attempting to work on a rudimentary automated system of pattern detection when I was brought here. Essentially, its function would be such that it would be able to triangulate using the locator features already installed to find a rough estimate of where their headquarters might be. However, I have not found any way thus far to eliminate outliers, and as such the feature is currently next to useless. I am no longer able to work on the code, but perhaps you will have more luck than I did.

That is all I can think of for the moment on that subject. However, I have an odd theory on what may be part of the reason we vary so. If you have a moment to spare, please answer me this:

When I was very young, back when Mother was still around, she took me to a doctor for odd behaviors. This included not looking people in the eyes, but there was a list. I was given a diagnosis; if you had the same experience, you should likely know which one.

Did you have this experience? If so, please prove it by stating what the diagnosis was.

Do not worry if you do not know what I am talking about; I would rather you did not guess. Simply state that you don't know. It will confirm my theory.

Good luck with your pursuers.

—Jake

(The letter tucks itself in the paper clip with the others.)

[bloodyrippah]

Klaus Mikaelson "How about round four?"

Klaus x my oc Romeo (not edited)

Warning: Mention of abuse, talks about trauma, sexual scene, mpreg.

I woke up to the sound of Romeo screaming and turning in his sleep, his night terror we're no secret to me but it did worry me that he still had them, even after two years of that bastard being dead, I only wish there was some way I could help ease his pain. I couldn't have a witch perform magic on him, he would never forgive me if he ever found out, I still had secrets from him. Secrets I could never tell him. Shifting from my side I gently shook his shoulders, he shook violently before scrambling awake, I brought him into my arms softly kissing his head." It was just a dream, " I whispered, he cried into my arms, I laid back down rubbing his back.

"Im sorry I woke you up, " Romeo whispered softly, he sniffed caressing my face, I kissed his head rubbing his arm.

"It's quite alright, " I told him shifting slowly, I laid on my side looking at him, he sniffed closing his eyes, tears stressed down his pale freckled cheeks, his lips pressed into a thin line as they quivered. He looked so broken and fragile." Do you want to talk about it?!" I questioned with raised brows, he shook his head.

" I just....just hold me please, " He softly told me, I nodded my head pulling him closer, I hoped he would start telling me of his troubles and the abuse soon, the only way I knew was through Elijah, the face still being kept up. It needed to stay that way.

"I hope you will tell me of your troubles one day, " I told him caressing his soft large hands, they were soft and very smooth, I always loved holding it.

He caressed my face leaning closer to me." I know, " he kissed me, I smiled into the kiss, my eyes closed savouring the passionate kiss we shared." I love you, " my eyes widen at his words, love. I had not thought about that. Was I in love with him, I was, I was, two years was a long time and I had been in love with him for a year now. It was something we never talked about, he was my true mate and it was bound to happen one day but in our case, it was very different and he was still healing.

"I know, " I whispered, I knew he loved me, he almost said it a few hours ago, he was scared. I knew he was hence I was easy and I waited until he was ready, no matter how many years it took. I had eternity and in some way, I guess he does as well.

"Im sorry, I shouldn't have, " Romeo opened his eyes looking at me, his whisky golden brown eyes dimmed into mine, I shook my head at his words, I myself wasn't sure I was ready to say it. It was beginning to feel all too real now.

"No, " I took a deep breath." come here, " I pulled him closer. He laid his head on my chest, wrapping his arms around me. I kissed his head.

**

The morning I woke up to the sun meaning through the curtains, I groaned holding up my arm to cover my face, I felt a lifted weight on my body, opening one of my eyes, I found the bes empty, looking at the clock on the wall, it was about 7:45 am, getting out of bed, I walked to the bathroom to freshen up. A while later after getting ready for the day, I walked into the kitchen to find Romeo making breakfast, I smiled watching him hum to the song playing through the speaker, I walked behind him wrapping my arms around his waist, he leaned closer to me, I kissed his neck closing my eyes." Morning, " I told him caressing his back, he raised his head placing his lips on mine, I moaned turning him around, he drapes one arm around my neck pulling me closer.

"Im making pancakes, " He told me in a cherry tone, he looked better than he did a few hours ago.

"I love your pancakes, " I told him, he was a very good cook, I loved his food despite not needing it but keeping up the facade was very prominent.

"Mm, " He hummed kissing me once more.

"We should talk about what happened last night, " I spoke up as we were getting ready to eat breakfast, he hummed nodding his head.

"If it's about me saying I love you, just forget about that, " Romeo said avoiding eye contact with me, it would be awkward given the fact that I didn't say it back.

'No, it's not that, " I dropped the fork and took hold of his hand." It's about the way you left things, going to bed angry, " I said, it was about the fact he wanted to have sex out of impulse and I said no and he got angry, I wasn't mad about that, I wanted him to understand that I was scared he would later regret it.

"Yeah, about...." He trails off and I nodded my head taking a sip of my drink. "I'm sorry, I still have that habit of doing things too..." he trailed off and I nodded understanding where he was heading with this, I placed his hand to my life gently kissing it.

"I just want us to move up to the next phase of our relationship when you are ready, " I softly told him caressing his hands, he nodded his head and smiled.

"I know, " He leaned forward placing a soft kiss to my lips, I closed my eyes savouring the moment we shared, I pulled him closer to me, he sat on my lap and moaned into the kiss.

"We should probably leave soon, " I said in between kisses, I never wanted the moments I had with him to end, I wanted to be locked all the way out here forever of we had to, away from everyone. Have him all to myself. That would truly be a wish come true.

**

ROMEO'S P.O.V

A while later Nik and I were at a skating park in the town, I loved skating and I was a pro at it, Richard and I always went together, it was something we loved to fo on a daily basis, we stood on the ice skating back and forth, our hands held together, he placed his lips to my head and I smiled at the affectionate touch he displayed on me. I always loved the little thing he did for me. When he was angry, he always made sure to stay away, calm his nerve. I loved that he didn't lash out on me as Richard would, I shredded at the thought of when Richard would best me senselessly, it made me feel so little and I never wanted to feel that way again. I was falling more and more in love with Nik by the moment and it scared me because of how fast I was falling and it had been two years.

Surviving from a traumatic relationship would take a long time and two years wasn't enough time to become yourself again, I was slowly healing from that point of my life. I wanted to forget about Richard and all he put me through and ot was a lot, I held onto Nik's hand swirling around, a smile on my lips. The day had been going great so far, it was nice being away from Greenville and everything and everyone. I swirled behind Nik pulling him safely towards me.

I wanted to move our relationship further, I was tired at putting it all at wit's end, it wasn't fair to Nik and it wasn't fair to me as well. I deserved better and I wanted us to move forward, I wanted us to have sex, tonight. I wasn't going to let Richard control me anymore. I was going to be happy in my relationship.

"Hey, " I said smiling widely at him, he turned at me, oh god that marvellous grin of us, my heart always seems to beat ten times faster, faster than it ever did with Richard, I wasn't scared of my life around him when he was angry. He never let me know he was. I loved that, he was possessive yes and sometimes controlling but he tried not to be with me given the fact that my deceased husband was basically dictating everything I did in my life. I could sense a dangerous streak about Klaus and it did sometimes scare me but I never thought anything else of it, it was sometimes hard to figure him out like he held a secret and I was drawn to that. I was drawn to his danger. I was indeed sick, it was the same way I was drawn to Richard, I only hoped our relationship wouldn't turn out like that. I could not deal with another Richard in my life. I honestly couldn't.

"Are you having fun?!" Nik asked me smiling brightly at me, I nodded my head, the sound of the music in the skating ring entered my ear and the sliding of skating shoes also counted into my ear, I wrapped ny arms around his neck placing a soft kiss to his lips.

"I really am, " I told him in a soft tone filled with affection for him, he was always doing things to make me happy and I had not been this happy in a when I was with Richard during the last few months of our relationship. "Thank you, " I finished pecking his lips repeatedly, he moans into the kiss holding my face. "Come on, I am quite parched, " I told him in the same posh tone he always speaks in, he chuckles at my words.

We went to the bar to get ourselves a drink, I stood behind Nik, I tightly squeezed my left wrist, the pain erupted slowly when I dug my nails into the heap of my skin, I, I bit my lips tightly and took a deep breath watching Nik order drinks and snacks for the both of us, he turns around and I pull my sleeve down, I smiled at him before pecking his lips.

We sat at the booth and I took a sip of the beer Nik had gotten me, placing my hands on the table I pulled out my phone to check on the kids, I was anxious about being away from Evie, Lydia, Thomas and Freddie for so long, I had not been away from them for a week before, when I went to business trips, I took them with me, things had drastically changed after Richard died, Freddie and Thomas was two years old and my blood boiled knowing our children weren't going to father another parent in their life, I was the only parent I had left. I had adopted Evie as my own when I got pregnant with Thomas and Frederick, she had been getting well with us and getting used to it, Richard made her and Lydia go to the Boarding school, he said it was in Prague, Czech Republic and was called BloodCoat, the name was creepy, I had been there once to check it out and it was well, Richards taste, his great-grandfather who I met a few times owned it. Giving the fact that he and Fallon grew up there, I was disappointed to know he held little part in raising them, he wasn't anything like Richard, I thought he would be a fucking rich dick and all about having a boarding school that I couldn't it on google, it felt off to me but Richards family owned it so I guess it was okay. Richard wanted Freddie to attend when he was seven years old just like Lydia did when she turned seven.

It seems like a good school but I would teach my children to be good girls and a boy, to be respectful and responsible. I took a deep breath narrowing my eyes at Nik who caressed my wrist, the pain from constantly hurting myself presented itself when he softly gave it a soft squeeze, I bit my like to stop myself from wincing, Nik had no idea that I hurt myself and it was pathetic of me to keep doing that even after surviving years of abuse from Richard. It felt like somehow he was still here and he was making me hurt myself but that wasn't the case. I was sick and I needed to stop thinking I deserved to be hurt. Did I really?

"Are you alright?!" Nik questioned me, I nodded my head taking a few my chips, he narrowed his eyes at me before caressing my hand.

A few hours later, after having a fun day out, it was about eight pm and I was heavily tired and tomorrow was going to be special, I was going to give myself to him. I felt like I was ready to take this step. Its been two years and the only sexual thing we've done is give each other blow job for the first time and it happened ...well a few times this morning. Entering the house, I instantly went to the bedroom where I jumped on the newly made bed, a groan escaped my lips, I felt Nik rub my back getting on top of me, I moaned when I felt his hands enter my jeans and boxers.

"Nik," I moaned out into the bedsheet when he began caressing my member, I bit my lips tightly to stop the moan that was coming out of my lips, I couldn't hold it in, he began kissing my neck and biting my earlobes.

"Do you like that?!" Nik whispers into my ears, I raised my head and kissed his lops, I flipped us overtaking off my red leather jacket, I leaned down placing my lips on his, he moaned wrapping his arms around my neck. I was ready. I really was but I was patient to wait until I was truly sure.

"I love that, " I whispered biting his lips seductively, I fiddled with the zip of his jeans. " I can't wait to see what you do to me next, " I whispered selectively. He grinned at me pecking my lips.

"Come on, let's get freshen up, "

The next morning I woke up drenched in sweat, I was thankful I didn't wake up screaming, looking at the time it was 8 am and Nik was sleeping peacefully, I got out of bed taking a deep breath, my feet creaked on the floor, walking into the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror, I was now a different person or at least I was trying to be who I was meant to be, I squeezed my left wrist very tightly before grazing my fingers roughly into my skin, I bit my lips tightly feeling pain erupt through my wrist and my roughly button lips. I closed my eyes trying to clear out my nightmare. It was always the incident with Richard, it scared me knowing I was still suffering, I was hurting myself. I winched releasing my wrist before I started transcending up.

A little while later, I stood at the balcony of the cabin, dresses in a red tracksuit bottom, a blue shirt, I was barefoot and in my handheld a mug of coffee mixed with bourbon, I leaned against the door watching as the snow fell down, the leaves on the trees blew from side to side and the chirping of birds, I closed my eyes but the dream kept evading in my mind.

I jumped when I felt hands on my back, turning around I stopped at the sight of Klaus." You scared me, " I placed my hands on my chest taking a deep breath, he grinned before leaning forward to kiss me, I smiled pecking his lips." Sleep well, " I asked him walking inside the living room, I closed the sliding glass doors before walking to the living room.

"I did. Woke up without you, " Nik placed his hands on my shoulders, I looked up at him and smiled.

"Sorry, had a bad dream, " I told him taking a seat on the couch, my feet crossed Indian style, Nik took a deep breath sitting down next to me. He rubbed my thighs before playing my feet on his lap, he was dressed in his usual jeans and shirt, he looked freshened for the day.

"I really wish you would start opening up to me, " He told me but I could tell he was annoyed at the fact that I speak to my counsellor about my problems instead of him and I could understand where he was coming from. I really could. I was afraid." Instead of your bloody therapist, " He rolled his eyes giving me a look, I looked away from his gaze, he was angry at that and I was always able to notice when he was angry or in a mood and it was the same with Richard. I wanted to stay away from him if he was angry.

"I know, " I rubbed his arm before taking jis hand in mine, I placed a soft kiss on it." Be patience baby, " I told him softly, he stood up abruptly pulling away from me.

"That's bloody it, it's been two bloody year's and you won't even... God, " Nik yelled loudly, his vein clenching, I jumped at the volume of his voice but also the anger behind it.

"Nik, " I reached to hold his hand but he recoiled hitting me in the face, I stopped in the track.

"Romeo, that was an accident, "

I held my face feeling my eyes water at that, accident or not, it brought up bad and horrific memories that I wanted to put behind me, I couldn't stop the low sob that escaped my lips, I flinched away from his coming touch standing up from the couch, he looked at me the same way Richard did when he first laid his hand on me, he said the same thing. 'it was an accident,' to me, it didn't seem like that to me at the moment.

"I swear, it was an accident, " Nik tried to say but I was already leaving the living room, I found myself sitting at the window bed in the bedroom looking at the window, I soon heard footsteps but kept my gaze away from Nik. " It really was an accident, " Nik sat in front of me at the window bed, he took my face in his hand caressing it." I promise, I would never.....never...ever dare lay my hands on you like that or even think of doing it, " he told me softly, I looked into his eyes, I could tell he was telling the truth, I pulled him into a hug caressing his head.

"Its okay, baby, " I whispered rubbing his back, he kissed my cheeks, I pulled away pecking his lips before deepening it. " I love you, " I told him looking into his eyes, I was hoping he truly felt the same way I was starting to feel and he would say it back. I desperately wanted this to work. I needed to truly be free.

I began to feel my eyes water at his quiet facade, he truly was quiet. He didn't love me as I loved me, I was such a fool. " Oh...Romeo, " Nik pulled away from me, I shook my head." I'm just..."

"No, don't. Its quite alright, " I told him pulling my knee up to my chest, he shook his head.

"It wasn't that, I love you too, I am very much in love with you and I have not felt like this in a long time, " Nik told me holding my face in his hands, I felt my eyes tear up at his words, I looked into his eyes, it was like I could sense his emotion, he truly did love me.

I placed my lips on him standing up." I'm ready, I mean it, " I told him breathing heavily, he looked at me before carrying me into his arms, I wrapped my legs around his neck as he carried me over to the bed and gently laid me down.

I cupped his cheeks pressing my lips against his, he moaned into the chaste kiss I began placing on his lips, my left arm slowly caressed his neck before wrapping around ut, he pulls me closer, his hand roaming around my body and into my pants, I let out a low moan into his lips, my lips detecting from his towards his cheeks, I began placing soft and delicate kiss on down his neck, my hand pulled at his shirt, he pulls away looking me in the eyes, he wanted to make sure I was indeed ready and I was, I truly was and I wanted us to take things further, two years we started this relationship and we hardly did anything and I wanted us to be better and grow closer. I pulled his head down placing my lips on his once again, he begins fiddling with my shirt, a low growl rumble through his lios and I churned, I could feel my member growing and I could feel him, it was begging to be touched and I wanted this to be taken slow and perfect. I raised my head as our kiss got more passionate and loving.

"I love you, " I whispered to Nik who took off my shirt showing my masculine and tone upper body, I ran my hands down Niks upper body before reaching to remove his jeans, he holds my hand.

"Relax, " Nik whispered seductively into my ears, I closed my eyes listening to the sound of his raspy and deep voice, it was like music to my ears and I never wanted him to stop talking. "Let me show you how much I love you, " He whispered, I placed my lips to his cheeks, my hands caressing his. I looked into his eyes, I couldn't look away, god was as breathtaking as the day I met him.

He began trailing kisses down my chest, I bit my lips letting out a low moan, I couldn't help but curl my fingers into the roots of his hair, he growled and I felt chills run down my spine, Ioved his growl. it was demanding and dominate, loving, God I loved what he did to me. "Nik, " I moaned out when pulled down my tracksuit bottoms and boxers off, I moaned when I felt his hand gently held my large and swollen member, I raised my head propping on my elbow to watch him, I opened my mouth letting out a loud rumbling moan, I throw my head back when I felt his wet mouth around my member, his hands caressing it softly, his head bobbing up and down, almost choking, I felt myself slowly reach my peak, gripping his head tighter, my body clenches tightly and I moaned loudly."Ah-oh. Fuck. Fuck. Nik, oh fuck, " I curled my lips into a thin line, he bit my lips letting out several loud moans, Nik gagged looking at me, I moaned when he placed a soft kiss to the tip of my member, he caressed the tip, my precum leaking, I moaned throwing my head back, he caressed my member jerking me off, I began releasing cum all over him and myself, I fell back on the bed breathing heavily, I felt Nik trail kisses up my chest, I moaned holding his face, he placed his lips to mine.

"You taste magnificent, " Nik whispers into my lips, I looked into his eyes before kissing him, my hands caressing his chest until it touched his own lathe and swollen never, he moans into my mouth when I began jerking him off, I grunted when I felt his hands on my member, I deepened the kiss, he began trailing kisses down my neck, I moaned, my hands caressing the wet tip of his member, he clenches around my hold and I smirk.

"Nik, " I moaned into his ears, my hand gently turning around his member, I grabbed his balls gently massaging it, he moans loudly and I laughed into the kiss when he places his lips on mine again, he holds my face and moaned. I began feeling his hands caress my asscheeks and gripped them, I threw my head back letting out a moan, my hands caressing his member, he pushed one finger into my asshole and I let out a low moan, I couldn't help the next moan that escaped my lips when he slipped in another finger, I moaned gripping his member, I began moving my hips to his fingers slipping in and out, the pleasure was so great, I moaned when he slipped in another finger, oh god, Nik's moans entered my ears.

"You are so tight, " Nik moaned slipping in the fourth finger to lose me up, I moaned into his lips, he pulled out and turned me around, my ass raises in the air, I gripped the sheets waiting for this to happen, we had seen each other naked, it felt great and also so shy, this was our first time together.

"Nik, " I moaned out when he slowly slipped his member into my asshole, I closed my eyes tightly letting out a squealed moan, he slowly goes deeper, I hiss gripping the bedhead tightly, he enters me fully and slowly begins going in and out, I raise my head turning my face to kiss him, I moaned into his lips when he began going faster, the bed began slamming violently into the wall. "Oh fuck, " I cried helplessly feeling my hole get wetter and fill with profound pleasure, I gripped his neck letting out a strangled cry, my lips brushed against his and his hands began rubbing my member.

"Fuck, you're so tight, " Nik pushed me down to the bed, he grabbed my waist thrusting deeper into me, it began going rough and I loved it, I couldn't help the loud moan that entwined with Nik's. "Oh fuck." The slapping of his balls into my ass echoed into my ears, I cried out again gripping the bed sheet, my head faced down on the bed, my lips curled open and another loud moan escaped my lips, Nik begins to slow down and I feel him grab my back, I push my hips towards him, my ass slapping against his front, he pushes himself deeper hitting my prostate, I moaned out crying, I could feel tears stream down my face.

"Ah, oh fuck, baby, oh god, " This was better than anything, I screamed into the bed, I felt him grip the back of my neck and raise me up, I wrapped my arms around his neck, he grabs one of my legs and wraps it around his waist, slamming lovingly into my hole.

"You like that," Nik whispered into my ears as he begins to go faster, so fast I couldn't even keep up with his loud moans." How I fuck your brains out, " He grunts slamming faster into me, I cried out.

"You're so fucking god, Oh my god, baby, yes. Oh god, " I cried out, I bit my lips looking him in the eyes, I was shaking and he loved watching me, god, I should not have waited two years to finally have sex. I cried placing my lips to his, he grunts into the kiss, I pull away.

"You like that, huh, you dirty dirty man, " He gripped my neck when we both fell onto the bed, I moaned out, my hand jerking off my dick which was leaking with cum, I was getting so close." You like that rough, " He trusted deeper swiftly, he pulls out and slams roughly I to me.

"Oh-Fuck, " I moaned out turning my head, I looked into his eyes as he fucked me senselessly." Oh yes, yes baby, right there, " I moaned into his lips He pulls my lips back when I tried pulling away, I moaned out. " Fill me up, " I moaned out loudly, the bed slamming more violently into the wall makes one of the paintings fall down and shatters, I let out a loud masculine cry as I feel.myself slowly reach my peak. I could care less if we used protection. "Fuck...fuckkk. Yes. Baby, right there, fill me up with your fucking cum, " I moaned into his lips, he grunted, I looked into his eyes, my brows furrowed together.

"Oh fuck, I will fill you up, " "You like that, " He began jerking off my dick and I moaned letting out a cry. "Fuck you're so hard, " He jerks off my dick faster, I cried into his lips, my hand gripped his neck." I'm so close, " Nik moaned.

"Oh baby, right there, " I held his hand which held mine, I moaned loudly, he begins to slow down, slowly thrusting in and out, I moaned lowly, I felt him release inside me and I couldn't help but want him to fill me up some more. I moaned when he released more got liquid into my ass, I cummed all over our hands and on the bed, the both of us collapse letting out deep breaths, both laid on our mess, I began to feel his cum trail down my legs, I moaned when he pulled out, I laid bedside him pulling myself closer to him.

I breathed out looking at Nik, our body in a weird position, I laid half on top of him, our members touching." I love you, " I whispered caressing his face, I placed my hands on his chest pulling myself on top of him, he held my waist caressing it. . took hold of his member caressing it, I softly forced it into my hole, he moaned looking into my eyes, I slowly rolled my hips rocking back and forth, my hands gripped his neck gently, I leaned down placing my lips on him, he grabbed my ass spreading them, he begins to thrust into me as I ride him, I wrapped my arms around his neck, my lips on his as our lips and tongue danced in a passionate fire, I rode him faster, my ass slamming against his thighs, our moans echoed into our lips, his dick entering and coming out, I rolled my his feeling myself reach my peak, I moaned into his lips letting out a chuckle as we come came, I came on his chest and he filled me up once again, I pulled away laying beside him, I breathed out heavily and looked at him, my body shook from. the activity we had just done.

"We should have done this sooner, " Nik spoke up and I laughed, looking into his eyes I caressed his cheeks, our legs entwined together, he cleared his throat." That was wonderful, " Nik said.

"It was, " I pressed my lips to his once again." I'm sorry it took two years to even make a move, " I told him letting out a short laugh, he grinned and I couldn't help the butterflies that ran down my spines.

"It was worth the wait, " he told me." I love when you moan for me, " he smugly told me, I blushed looking away from his gaze he raised my head to look at him. "And when you say my name, " he pressed his lips to mine.

"You love that, " I whispered into his ear seductively biting his earlobe, he moaned into my ears.

"And when you call me baby, " He bit my button lips."Now that we've done this, I can't keep my hands off you, "

Oh, how right he was.

**

KLAUS P.O.V

A few hours later

Opening my eyes, I squinted it back close to the beaming of the bright afternoon sun, a smile grazed over mu lips as I remembered what happened a few hours ago, looking at the time, it was twelve p.m in the afternoon, I turned my head to Romeo who laid under the covers, naked, we had finally gotten to that phase of our relationship after two years, god, the sex what we did, it was... i couldn't describe it, having a sex with my mate, being intimate and doing all kinds of things god no words could describe how marvellous and magnificent it was. The way he moans my name and begs for more, the way I moaned his name and never wanted the moment to end. I took a few deep breaths before shifting in my position, I probed my elbow on the pillow watching how his chest rose and fell with each shallow breath he took, I traced my hands across the sexual mark I made on him, he was my mate and I wanted to mark him and find as one but I couldn't yet. I needed to break my curse in order for that to happen and I shall.

I caressed his cheeks, he stirred opening his eyes, I smiled into the whisky golden brown eyes." Hey, " he whispered softly, I smiled leaning my head on my elbow.

"Hii, " I grinned like a human hopelessly in love which I was, he was making me feel things I have never felt before." I loved what we did, " I told him caressing his cheeks.

"I did too, " He told me grinning helplessly, it was the same kind I had on my face."I feel like I was hit by a truck, " He grunted sitting up, I smirked at his words pulling him closer to me.

"I guess I did my job then, " I told him with a smirk and he laughed. His laugh, oh his laugh, it will be the death of me one day. then I would come back to life since I was an immortal hybrid. cursed hybrid.

"Don't be smug, " He raised his hand caressing his face, I stopped at the sight of a forming purple blotch on his wrist, I took his wrist in my hand.

"What is this?!" I questioned firmly, was he seriously hurting himself again? Bloody hell, how did I not notice this." Romeo, do not-"

"I wasn't hurting myself, " he pulled away from my hold getting out of bed, picking up the white robe, he wears it and takes a deep breath.

"I know when you lie, " I told him firmly also getting out of bed, I pulled him gently back onto the bed, he fell on top of me, I caressed his wrist." You need to stop hurting yourself, " I caressed his bruised wrist.

"I know, I'm sorry, " He whispered, I pulled him into a hug."I won't anymore, I promise, "

"I love you, know that, " I told him, he nodding pecking my lips.

"How about round four?!" He said I grinned pulling him closer to me. This was going to be fun.

[stroni-bomb]

Siren!Taeil: Eye of the Beholder {1}

CHAPTER ONE // NEXT 

❃ Taeil didn’t know which was worse: being a male in a family of purely female sirens or being a rare phenomenon in a group of ‘normals’. He never had it easy growing up and going against everything which makes a siren didn’t make it any easier. He would always be thankful for that fateful day when Angel!Taeyong saved him. However when a certain individual puts all of N City on their toes as they’re a risk to another citizen’s life, why can’t Taeil feel nothing except sympathy towards her instead of the hatred the other’s hold? ❃

؂۵‗✩⑈

"Taeil," Taeyong gently shook the older brother and gave him a warm smile as his tired eyelids fluttered open. "You can go to bed now. Y/N's asleep, I've got everything under control."

He quickly checked on your sleeping figure in the infirmary bed. He didn't know how long he was out but he was certain that you were awake the last time he saw you. Slowly he stood up, giving a small thanks to Taeyong before leaving the infirmary room. He wouldn't go to bed, he didn't need to, all he did need was some fresh air and thinking time.

Quietly, avoiding waking up any of the other residents, he made his way through the dimly lit corridors until finding the back door. Sliding it open carefully he tiptoed out, allowing the cool midnight breeze to blow on his face. It was a quick walk to the lake. Well it was more of a stream really.

As he reached the water's edge he finally sat down with the grass underneath him, occasionally the wind would move the grass in such a way that it'd dance in between his fingers, lightly tickling him. He had an urge to shift into his siren form but decided against it, knowing the younger boys they're probably spying on him right now from their bedroom windows.

He brought his head down to the grass and lay there, silently. The grass moulded underneath him, leaving his temporary mark into the land. He could hear the lake gently lapping against the bed, running further and further upstream. There was probably a river somewhere nearby, acting out as a branch into the wide and vast ocean.

Ocean. That word alone reminded him of...home. Could he really call it a home though?

It always surprised him how he even managed to survive. No one had realised he was different until he was six, when sirens get their human form. His once loving family turned on him just like that. Why? He was a young boy, not a girl.

He had loved where he lived. The small, grassy cove reached out onto the beach. The grass had a different feel to the one that grew at N City, it was more...rough. Pretty much summed up his whole childhood. At first it'd start with the girls his age, pushing and shoving. As soon as Taeil retaliated though that's when the older sirens began to torture him.

They left scars but they were easy to hide with clothes, he couldn't say the same for his siren form. That's why he refuses unless necessary, he doesn't need his friends to see him like that.

"Taeil hyung!" A young voice yelled out, his feet flattening the grass beneath each stride. This was someone who didn't care if he woke others. Donghyuck. "What are you doing out here?"

Taeil quickly wiped a stray tear and lifted himself up from the ground. Donghyuck bounded into him, wrapping his arms around his elder brother. He awkwardly returned the affection, he himself wasn't much of a skinship person.

"It's cold out here," Hyuck shivered as he pulled away. Taeil noticed he was barefoot and only wearing shorts with a thin, white shirt.

There was a moment of silence between the two. A chilling breeze blew passed them both, pinching their revealed skin. Hyuck quickly brought his hands to his upper arms and rubbed in a sad attempt to warm himself up.

"You didn't need to come out," Taeil eventually smiled and brought an arm around Hyuck's shoulders. "I was just getting some air before going to bed but let's get inside now. You're right, it's freezing."

Maneuvering back into the mansion Hyuck looked up in awe at Taeil. He didn't say anything, he knew Taeil wouldn't talk about this stuff with him but he had so much hurt in his eyes, so much pain, yet kept it inside and kept being his jokey self. Much like himself. He admired Taeil for that.

After walking Hyuck back up to his room which he shared with Jaemin and Renjun Taeil finally collapsed into his bed. He had to resist the urge not to run back to your infirmary room and go to bed in the chair again, just so he could be there for her when she woke up. Maybe he was being too attentive though so he decided against it, he didn't want to give others the wrong idea.

Settling down under his duvet and forcing his past memories out of his mind Taeil was finally able to sleep. Before he was completely gone a small smile sketched onto his features as a quick image of you fluttered through his mind. You were sleeping, safe and sound in the infirmary two floors below him, a smile which mirrored his own blessing your delicate features.

؂۵‗✩⑈

"TAEIL GET UP WE NEED YOU!" A series of knocks hammered at his door as various voices yelled his name. As of yet he was in no real hurry to get up, usually when this happened -and it tended to happen a lot in a house with the devil himself in it- there ended up being no real threat but instead a cream pie waiting to smack him in the face.

"TAEIL IT'S Y/N!"

Now he was up. If his fate did end up being a cream pie then he can bet that whoever the pranker was would soon become the prankee.

Dashing into your infirmary room with a sense of urgency he immediately went to your side. You were out cold, pale and seemingly unresponsive.

Taeil's eyes scanned the faces which accompanied him in the room: Taeyong, Doyoung, Jaehyun and ... Mingcheng. Quickly doing a body scan of the latter he released a sigh of relief- she was carrying no weapons and she didn't seem triumphant. Always a good sign.

"Taeyong what happened? How did her vitals drop so drastically you told me she was doing fine!" Taeil questioned, he knew he should have never left your side, screw the attentive nonsense he would've been there for you when you needed him most.

"Her heart and breathing rate dropped after another... episode. We've put her on oxygen but we aren't medics Taeil, this type of healing is beyond my powers. I heal bones. Not curses," Taeyong said sternly, not appreciating Taeil's seemingly ungrateful tone.

He took note of the oxygen mask and evaluated your chest movements, not quite how he'd like it but assumed it was an improvement.

Suddenly a pang of realisation hit him, how he had forgotten the most important piece of information he didn't know. "Episode? Is Nev okay, what happened?"

"About time grandpa. She's fine, shaken up but fine. Your little friend here tried to kill her she's lucky she-"

"She tried to kill her Taeyong? But I thought she was bed ridden," it was more of a observation than a question, although he failed to observe the very obvious glares which Mingcheng was shooting through him.

"Did he just interrupt me?" She hissed to her mate, Jaehyun, evidently pissed off.

"He's on edge babe-" "He'll be on the edge of my foo-"

"Jaehyun. Mingcheng. Please go check on Nev and Leon, shoot I should really check on Leon...Taeil, could you give me a second? Come on you two," Taeil just nodded, not watching the three of them leave and not giving Doyoung much of his attention either. His full focus was on you, this wasn't the secure figure he pictured last night, no this was the exact opposite.

There was a gentle silence which occasionally was interrupted by the sound of the heart monitor. Every time a sharp 'beep' pierced through the air Taeil would look up and check your heart rate, noting down if there was an improvement or not every time mainly for his own sanity. He was so absorbed in...You, that he forgot about Doyoung who was sat on the chair opposite the bed, checking out his older brother's behaviour and gentleness regarding you.

"Why do you like her so much?" He suddenly questioned, cocking on eyebrow in a way which Taeil couldn't stand, as if Doyoung had just figured out his entire life story by watching him for five minutes.

"I have no clue what you're on about," Taeil dismissed by shaking his head. "Who's Leon?"

"Just some Lion girl who's been stabbed or shot can't remember the exact details, brought some half wolf dude with her or something too. Now answer my question." Doyoung leaned back in his chair now, his long legs outstretched across the floor.

"You should really pay attention to the people Taeyong saves. Maybe then people will like you?" Taeil sniped back, mimicking his younger brother's actions as he leant back in his chair. Debating whether to stretch out his legs too he decided against it, he was much smaller than Doyoung and didn't need to prove it.

"What's the point? They looked like a total mad show anyway. I don't waste my breath on obviously crazy people."

"Yet you ended up living with sixteen of them, now more if you count the mates. You should loosen up, you're stressed," Taeil smiled as Doyoung chuckled to himself. He had got him there, the residents at N CITY were far from sane.

"I should say the same for you hyung, you should let us in and not push us away when we ask you stuff," now Doyoung had evened out the score. Taeil couldn't think of a reply and the sharp 'beep' of your machine left him unable to think straight anyway as he quickly noted down the results.

"I'm gonna check on Lion Girl and Wolf Boy, call us if anything happens okay?"

Taeil just nodded in response, "see you wizard boy," he smirked as the door clicked behind Doyoung as he left him by himself with you by his side.

He liked the thought of that, you standing by his side, just the thought of you standing without needing support made him happy.

He wanted you to be happy but this was just the sympathy talking... right?

--------------------------------

That's chapter one guys 🤪 hoped you enjoyed and give my boy Taeil some love 💝 -Stroni-

[jcylenz]

"I'm sorry I hurt you." (val & marco!)

“I’m sorry I hurt you.“

Val was lying in bed, facing the wall, feeling really shitty about the last couple of hours. They fought. Again. And she hated it. And she hated every single second of it. It has started to become a regular thing – them fighting. It was happening more and more often and it didn’t seem like they were getting out of it, not anytime soon, not unless they can actually sit down and talk through their issues in a calm fashion. But calm has never been their strong suit. It was loud and passionate, just like when they loved each other, and that was obvious at this point. It was either really really good, or really really bad, there was no in between.

He didn’t leave, she just stormed off and left him in the living room, shutting the door behind herself so hard it was a miracle the door didn’t come off its hinges right away.

It felt drastic, anyone looking from the outside would have thought it was dramatic, and maybe it was, but the door shutting and the sulking was necessary for Val to cool down, and if it would have been the other way around, Marco would have needed it too. They were like that. They were passionate and when they were in a good spot, it was so good - they were the most Iove couple anyone has ever seen. But when it was bad, it was just as passionate, just as loud and obvious, just in completely other ways. They had to get it out of their chest. That didn’t mean it good, that either of them liked the way they handled these fights, but it was in their nature, they could never settle an argument calmly between themselves.

She wasn’t sure how much time has passed, she just knew that her anger has calmed down, and it was more about who caves first and goes to the other at this point rather than who was right or wrong. On average, Val would say they made the first move of going to the other person after a fight equally, but this time it was Marco who gave in first. Val heard soft knocks on the door and then footsteps as Marco came inside.

Val didn’t turn around, though she wanted to. She waited. Part of her knew she was acting like a child, sulking like a five-year-old, but she pushed it aside and didn’t care about it. She was hurt and it brought it out of her. She could hear light footsteps coming towards the bed, and then she felt the bed sinking deeper as he lied down next to her, his palm resting on her shoulder. “I am sorry I hurt you.” That is all he said, quiet and reserved, but he didn’t need to say more. He never needed to say more, nor did Val ever need anything else from him. She really just needed him, period.

She shifted in her position to turn around to face him. He was so close, only a couple of inches away from her, and now his fingers gently started stroking her arm. It was such a small gesture, but it meant so much more than a simple sorry. I love you. I don’t want to lose you either. In the beginning, him being affectionate was one of the biggest surprises for her. He expected her to be just as closed off and careful with every touch as she was, but he was so giving she needed time to get used to it, get adjusted to his ways. Now she couldn’t imagine him any other way. Couldn’t imagine her life without him and funnily that is what keeps causing problems between them too. She was terrified of something happening to him with his line of work, while he couldn’t even imagine his life in any other way.

She wondered for a short second if this would one day drive an unrepairable vedge between the two of them. She really hoped it wouldn’t, she wasn’t sure if she could survive that.

“I don’t wanna fight,“ she said quietly, her arm reaching up to softly touch his cheek. “I hate it when we fight. Can we not do that anymore tonight?”

It wasn’t a solution. They should talk about it. They need to talk about it like two adults who don’t jump at each other’s throat whenever they disagree on something. But that seemed so impossible that night, and she was tired of the yelling and crying and the stupid, pointless accusations flying across the room. She just wanted to rest. They could deal with this another time.

(They kept telling themselves that, and yet that other time never did.)

So so moved closer, shifting in her position again to prop herself up on her forearm and give him a kiss. “I am sorry for everything I said, too,” she said as she pulled away, and his arms were already around her, pulling her close. She pressed her lips against his over and over again, first just small, gentle kisses, but then they turned longer, more passionate. Her hands started wandering on his chest, and for the next couple of hours, neither of them spoke, they just let their bodies and actions do the talking for them.

[5hfanfiction]

Too Close To Home - Chapter 3

Surprised was an understatement when I saw Lauren on the other side. Her left hand holding a trophy.

At least I know who won the award for that category.

“Hi,” she says while smiling awkwardly. It seems like awkward is now my favorite word, since that’s the only way to describe the situations I’m in since the show has started.

“What’s up?”

“You-uh, look great,” she responded, her eyes looking at everything except for me. She looks so vulnerable, like I could crush her just by my bare hands. I grinned, weirdly satisfied to see this version of Lauren, her usual confidence nowhere to be found.

“Thanks, you too,” I replied, not knowing what to actually say. She’s usually the one that does the talking but it sounds like she doesn’t know what to say either.

“Uh, we won,” she said while holding up her trophy higher to show me.

“So I see,” I replied. What do you say to an ex who you haven’t talked to in more than a year? The air is so thick that my hand start ms to scratch my arm subconsciously.

“Yeah,” she responded. This is seriously going nowhere. I don’t get why she even knocked on my door in the first place.

I decided to stop beating around the bush and asked, “Lauren, I’m not trying to be rude or anything, but why are you here?”

“Can I get a hug?” she immediately said, surprising me and by the look on her face, it surprised her too.

“Sure,” I smile. Even if we were together at some point, we were best friends first. I immediately wrapped my hands around her neck while she wrapped hers around my waist. The hug feels comfortable, but a little too much for my liking. We stayed like that for what felt like hours. I felt safe. Safer than what I’ve felt in a long time anyway.

I release my hold on her and tried to step back but she just wraps her arms around me tightly, silently telling me that she doesn’t want to let go yet.

Eventually, we had to split. But once we did, the elephant in the room was gone, the thick air was now clear.

She smiles fondly, looking straight to my eyes for the first time since she’s knocked on my door.

I can’t help but smile back,her smile is contagious. I’m not one to hold a grudge for what happened a year ago. She’s moved on, and the least I could do is try too.

“I actually came here for that, I don’t think Lucy would’ve been happy if I did that in front of her.”

I immediately stopped smiling. It was one thing for her to talk about her fiancé to me, her ex, but it was another to hug me secretly because she didn’t want to make her angry.

Irrationality came over me. Now instead of feeling the fondness and safety I’ve felt a few minutes ago, my mood shifted and all I feel is discontent. I can’t be her dirty secret anymore.

She is considering Lucy’s feelings. Although it was sweet, it was something she never did for me. The fact that she’s holding hands wit Lucy right now is inconsiderate. The fact that she showcasing her fiancé to me after we just broke up is insensitive. The fact that she didn’t tell me that she was dating Lucy, when I was literally a few feet away from her was selfish. I found out like how the rest did, from a photo and an open letter. She is scared of how Lucy would react while she never gave two fucks about mine since day 1. She doesn’t care about me, she never did. This is just another proof of what I’ve doubted long ago.

“Now that you got it, can you go now?” I said, my voice low but venoms were dripping out of my mouth, enough to startle her from the change of mood, not knowing what she did to make me like this.

“I-uh, yeah, I guess so,” her awkward self was back. She tried to go in for another hug but I stepped back, feeling like her hug would just make me suffocate. She got the hint and walked away, mumbling a bye on the way.

She walks a few feet away and stop abruptly, looking back once more, relieved that I haven’t closed the door yet.

“Actually, I want to tell you something too,” she said, looking eager to disclose whatever that is. But I was done.

“If you’re telling me you want to kiss me now, you got another thing coming,” I answered, unamused.

“Huh? Oh-uh, it’s not that. I-,” she stopped immediately. She starts looks around, probably to see if anyone was watching. Maybe she really does want to kiss, this is what we did before we kiss back when we were together. Again, I’m tired of her and her need to keep me in the dark.

She then stopped searching when she saw a CCTV mounted on the wall. Her eagerness dissolving drastically, only to be replaced with anxiousness instead.

“Nevermind, bye,” she mumbled, pacing towards the door to the stadium where the show was on.

I grew confused by the change in her demeanor. Clearly the grudge I’ve said that I’ve let go is still there, it’s just hiding behind my mask. The mask I’ve been wearing for quite a while now.

I then walk towards the stage to get ready for my performance. The band all ready with their instruments. I got ready by putting my earpiece in my ear. The curtain hasn’t risen yet so I have a few minutes before I actually perform.

Nervousness would be an understatement to what I’m feeling right now. This is the first time that I would perform alone after quitting Fifth Harmony. Actually, this would be my first ever solo performance, the others would either be with the girls, Shawn Mendes or MGK, it was never just me.

I hear the host talking through the microphone, introducing the next performer aka me as a former member of Fifth Harmony (of course) and one of most unique vocalist in the world right now. Loud claps came next, the voice on my earpiece telling me to get ready, counting the seconds in descending order from 10.

“10… 9… 8… 7… 6…,” my starts heart beating twice as fast.

“5…” My hands began to feel clammy.

“4…” My brain stopped working, what am I supposed to do again?

“3…” My breathing became shallower as the seconds tick by.

“2…” I shiver, feeling like every muscle on my body in need of movement.

“1…” God help me.

The curtain starts rising and the band started playing the intro of the song.

The lights flashing directly to my eyes, making my pupils dilate like crazy. I blink a few times, adjusting to the obnoxious light. When I could finally look at the crowd, my eyes immediately connected to the green eyes near the front of the audience. Her hand is still holding Lucy’s, making me pissed off more. My anxiety flew away and I am now filled with adrenaline as the roaring of the crowd enhanced.

(Paula DeAnda - When it was me)

She's got green eyes and she's 5'5" Long brown hair all down her back Cadillac truck So the hell what What's so special about that?

Lucy doesn’t exactly have green eyes, but I wanted to show that this is about Lauren. If I can’t tell her the ex, at least I can point out that she is somewhat the person replacing me. I know she’s heard of this song before, since she has congratulated me an hour ago. But the version she’s heard lacked in something I want to show her. Emotion.

She used to model, she's done some acting So she weighs a buck 'o 5 And I guess that she's alright if perfection is what you like

And it’s true, Lucy was a model. But now that she was with Lauren, one of them had to sacrifice their careers. She’s a literal angel on Earth and she is what you call perfection.

Ooh, ooh, and I'm not jealous, no I'm not Ooh, ooh, I just want everything she's got Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed I remember way back when you used to look at me that way

I stare at her, not caring about the crowd at this point. This is between me and her. This could be the closure I so crave. Her green eyes boring into mine and everything disappeared, making this performance more intimate, like I was just singing this to her, in my room, just like I used to.

Tell me what makes her so much better than me (so much better than me) What makes her just everything I can never be What makes her your every dream and fantasy Because I can remember when it was me

I sing this part with my heart out, showing my vulnerable side. It’s one of my deepest secret and I’m letting the world know how Lauren destroyed me. I might not show that I’m broken, but knowing that Lauren is happy with another girl killed whatever confidence I have left.

And now that she has won Lauren’s heart, she has also convinced her to be public about their relationship. It stung more than I would like to admit.

What makes Lucy so special that Lauren is willing to tell everyone?

And now you don't feel the same I remember you would shiver everytime I said your name You said nothing felt as good as when you gaze into my eyes Now you don't care I'm alive How did we let the fire die?

We’re still staring, every word that drips out of my mouth holding truths to it. The rhetorical question is one of the many questions I’ve been holding back since we broke up. It feels good to finally be able to ask her, even if she won’t be able to answer back.

Ooh, ooh, and I'm not jealous, no I'm not Ooh, ooh, I just want everything she's got Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed I remember way back when you used to look at me that way

What makes her so much better than me (so much better than me) What makes her just everything I can never be What makes her your every dream and fantasy Because I can remember when it was me

That made you smile (me) That made you laugh (me) Me that made you happier than you have ever been, oh me That was your world (me) Your perfect girl Nothing about me has changed That's why I'm here wondering

Tears now falling and I can’t help but let it. Thank God for waterproof makeup. My eyes are still piercing through hers but it’s getting harder and harder to focus since my eyes are watering.

What makes her so much better than me (what makes her so much better than me) What makes her just everything I can never be What makes her your every dream and fantasy Because I can remember when it was me

When it was me When it was me When it was me

My voice cracked at the end, my emotions were all over the place. The stadium was silent and I could only listen to my heavy breathing, partially from the singing, but mostly because of the overwhelming emotion that was released while I performed.

Loud claps erupted seconds later, and they all stood up, showing their respect to me. I have woken up then, diverting my eyes to the audiences.

A genuine smile spread across my face, happy that my performance has touched each and everyone of them. This is what I want, their reaction is why I became a solo artist. I feel like they could connect to me at an emotional level. It makes me proud of myself.

I look in front and saw the girls. Each one of them seemingly proud and happy to see me on stage. Ally and Normani are still clapping, looking like proud mothers watching their kids perform in a school play for the first time. Dinah has tears in her eyes, but she’s smiling so I can only guess that they’re happy tears. I couldn’t say the same for Lauren though.

Her eyes are watery too, but unlike Dinah, she looks rather sad. Although this wasn’t the initial reaction I was hoping for, it was nice to know that I still got some hold on her. To be honest, I wasn’t really thinking about what her reactions might be, I just thought that I needed this to be said. And I was right.

I finally feel genuinely free.

—

“Get ready for the superstars! This group right here, award winning, hit makers, Epic Records own, your winner for tonight's favorite crew, performing their smash hit, Work From Home. Give it up for Fifth Harmony!!" DJ Khaled spoke through the microphone, introducing Fifth Harmony. This is their very first performance without me.

The TV mounted on the hotel room blasting our song, or their song now. It feels bittersweet watching them perform.

I know I shouldn't be reacting this way as this was all my doing, but I can't help but feel sad about it. They're starting a new chapter not by creating new songs, but rather remove me completely from our old ones, as if I hadn't been in the group in the first place.

It was sweet because I am finally 'free' from the metaphorical chain the label has locked me to.

Although I wasn't there, it still looked the same. The girls are wearing costumes that shows their skin a tad bit much for their own liking. I know this because I've heard them complain when I was still with them. It wasn't only the costumes, they were dancing too, as per usual. So other than losing one of the members, the performance still look pretty much the same.

Except for the fact that each one of them are glowing.

They look genuinely happy, smiling at the crowd that were roaring loudly. Lauren wasn't gloomy anymore, her smile finally reached her eyes. The tension in the group completely destroyed the minute I walked out.

And it sucks knowing that it was my fault they weren't happy in the first place.

I know that I somewhat overshadowed them when I was there, but it was never my intention to do so. The label were the one who had the ball on their court. They pushed me to the front of the stage and I couldn't do anything but accept it.

The rift between Lauren and I also contributed to the tension of course. So now that I'm gone, they don't look so troubled anymore. They don't have to hold back if they want to talk anymore. More importantly, they actually look like an actual group now.

So in a way, I did help them, didn’t I? If I knew this would be how they would be, I would’ve left a long time ago, saving the thousand heartbreaks of watching Lauren walking pass me, her eyes not even looking at mine, as if I was invisible. Saving the awkwardness between Normani and I, since she was always on Lauren’s side while Dinah was on mine. Ally was the devil’s advocate at that time

While they’re performing on stage, her I am staring at a screen in a hotel room. While they’re happy being around each other, here I am laying on the bed alone. And while they’re having the time of their lives, here I am crying through the night.

Yes, I'm free from the chain that the label locked me to, but without a map, how would I know where to go.

I just feel lost..

…

A/N My search history on my phone is funny now. I literally searched, "Songs about hating your ex for moving on” and “Songs that are deep, but not deep enough to make it not sound scary”

Also, I’m not Camila or any of the girls, so I don’t know what happened and how they feel… But for the sake of this book, let’s say I do.

I read through but I didn’t really check through the grammars. It’s a start though…

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