#at no point in my journey did I think this will delete my post
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Jackalope sleeve (I’m posting again cause I accidentally deleted the original post)
#anyway sorry for double posting#I was trying to edit something and just kinda went “oh delete yeah and did it#at no point in my journey did I think this will delete my post#and it did#this isn’t a tumblr problem this is a me being very tired and it’s early problem#anyway enjoy jackalope sleeve the second time#art#embroidery#hand embroidery#my art#slow art#handmade#fiber crafts#cryptid art#jackalope
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WASTELAND, BABY!– ellie williams x reader
hi! I'm writing a new series that happens after the events of TLOU II. it's an enemies to lovers. A story about ellie eventually finding happiness and love again. She finds her light; and so do you.
Before you read the summary– please read this. Free Palestine. Do not consume tlou fanfics without educating yourself about its zionist themes.
this story is only posted on ao3. read it here.
*SUMMARY: You had decided to give life one last try. That was it. After the events in The Last of Us Part II, Ellie decides that the only way to find peace is to turn herself in to the fireflies. She finds a lead; they tell her to find you, a young woman who wanders around with no purpose. When she eventually does, you refuse to tell her where the fireflies are; if she finds them, everything that you did in your past would've been for nothing.
You embark on a journey together, walking through rain, snow and through the darkest places this cruel world has to offer. What neither of you expect, broken and traumatized, is to find the light again in each other.
"For the world is Hell, and people are on the one hand the tormented souls and on other the devils in it." (Schopenhauer, On the suffering of the world)
LINKS: read it here. playlist.
C.W/GENERAL TAGS: enemies to lovers, AFAB reader, eventual smut, gun violence, ellie kinda kidnaps you?, suicidal ideation (both ellie and reader), r! is wounded, PTSD and trauma, triggering flashbacks. canon violence in the game, depression. overall heavy themes, but happy ending i promise!
CHAPTER 1: One last try. You encounter Ellie. She follows the trail of blood you were leaving. You refuse to give her the information she wants. So, she drags you through the entire state of Montana. "You’re bold for someone unarmed and bruised, with a gun pointed to their head"
CHAPTER 2: Courage, dear heart. A small flame inside you ignites. you finally have a purpose; to mislead her, and to escape from her. You come up with a plan, and that involves earning her trust. just enough until she becomes sloppy. But you can't let her see your skills; she might see you as a threat. That plan quickly goes to waste when you encounter a large group of clickers.
“I could kill you right now,” she said, holding your own knife against your throat. Her knuckles were white from how much force she was using. Her features were almost unrecognisable. “Then you’d break your promise,” you said. “Promises mean nothing in this world.”
CHAPTER 3: No one left to sing to The rain doesn't stop, so you and this strange girl are forced to stay inside the cave. You're feverish, disoriented. After a conversation in which she mentions the fireflies, you decide to go through her journal to find answers. And you do.
"Are you a firefly?" she asked, like she had just read your mind, or you were thinking out loud. “not a firefly,” you said. you held back a laugh, but she saw the flash of a smirk. You, the reason why they were gone after Salt Lake City, a firefly. “Definitely not.” you paused. “are you?” you asked. “No.”
CHAPTER 4– Your blinding light (flashback chapter)
Summer 2033, Boston QZ You waited for Hannah to come to you. Life in the QZ was simple for you; being confined in between four walls, listening to your mom's Beatles cassettes, and sneaking out past curfew. That is, until your mom slowly starts abandoning you. "Maybe Hannah was the only one you had, after all"
CHAPTER 5– This darkness i'm condemned to
Ellie and you finally reach the nearest town. And your plan is successful; you finally lead her to danger. What you failed to account for is that this danger can harm you, too.
“took them out right?" you said, trying to test the waters. Trying to sound lighthearted, but failing completely at it. "Damn right you did," she said.
CHAPTER 6– The injury of finally knowing
taglist: since i impulsively deleted my old account, i'm tagging my old taglist. it's still me! the bitch that wrote the abby greys anatomy AU! you can still join my taglist here
@kissesskittens @zahraaziza @uraesthete @elsvrse @lonelyfooryouonly @ximtiredx @ellabsprincess @spaceshipellie @machetegirl109 @sc0ttstre3ted @taylarxse @carmellie @mayfieldsz @brooklynvwilliams @rinarchy @elliesgffr @wannabwanted @ellabsweet @sapphic-and-sappy @imyour-favouritegirl @andersonsgirl @heyabimina @novadanversss @mulan-but-gay @lez-zuha @abbys-sweat-wife @maribelo-o @peppesgirl
if your name is crossed out, it means I can't tag you– please check your settings and follow these steps!
dividers by @saradika-graphics.
#ellie williams#the last of us#tlou ellie#tlou fanfiction#tlou part 2#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#the last of us part ii#enemies to lovers#canon universe#wasteland baby
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hi friends, i won’t be posting or updating any of my works for an indefinite period n will be on hiatus from this blog as well.
i’ve unlisted kickoff & ihm on ao3 (haven’t deleted, they’ve just been made private) and i’ve unpinned my masterlist here on tumblr (again nothing’s been deleted so you could probably find the chapters if you searched my tags)
but the reason i did that is because i don’t want any new readers finding my works during my hiatus because i don’t want to potentially upset more people in the event that, during this hiatus, i decide that i would no longer like to write my fics
that would be an insanely sad decision to make. i put so much thought into my stories not because i am trying to make them entertaining, but it’s because they genuinely mean so much to me and are cathartic in ways i can’t describe. i have spent a great majority of my life self negating for the sake of others, and so writing was just a form of expression where i could talk about all the things i’ve suppressed over the years - anxiety, career stress, financial stress, avoidance, depression, loss, coming of age, navigating love, etc
but lately, and i do think it’s been a build up of just some careless words from a handful of people over the months, i find myself steering towards a practice of writing that is no longer asking the question “how can i put as much of myself in this piece as possible?” but rather “how can i make sure people won’t criticize this…i feel awful that it doesn’t have what they want it to have…other creators are doing xyz, should i be doing that too?…i’m just scared to share this”
not exactly sure when that shift in headspace began, but as of right now, it’s as strong as ever. and i understand that those questions may seem irrational, and i just have to try to not focus on the feeling, n i wish i was someone that could compartmentalize those thoughts better, but here’s the thing — the whole reason i started expressing myself through writing in the first place was because i’ve spent my whole life compartmentalizing. it would feel so ironic & untrue to the lessons i’ve learned in this journey if i just chose to “suck this up” and continue pushing forward until i reach a point of burnout simply because i don’t want to upset anyone
i’m really sorry i couldn’t focus on the positive. especially with all the insane n incredible amount of love n support i’ve received for my works. i’ve said this time n time again but when i started posting kickoff to ao3 back in january of this year, i had NO idea it would be this loved by so many people…i was like ok can’t wait to interact w these four readers for the rest of the year…and then BAM, i find myself fully sobbing after each chapter update because i was so touched by all the sweet n kind words. i don’t want this decision to come off in a way that makes it seems like i don’t love u guys sm or that i’m ungrateful — i’ve always taken pride in respecting my audience. even for a simple hobby, i try to put effort into my works. i proofread, i plan out, i edit in length, all because i am, well, for one, i’m a bit of a perfectionist LOL but also i think there’s a great deal of honor in respecting an audience that gives you their time n attention
but i already am struggling in my life to focus on the positive. medicine has been such an incredibly daunting career to pursue, i’m honestly only doing slightly better now because i’m just filled with relief that i got into med school to begin with lol it’s still surreal to me, so the stress has been kinda manageable so far on that sense of optimism, but dear god the shit i went through to get here…and the shit i know i still face ahead of me. i spend all of my serotonin on trying to stay positive in the face of my responsibilities. so all of this time i’ve spent trying to stay positive for the sake of my stories too has just left me with so much exhaustion — i just don’t see why posting my works should be anything less than fun and endlessly exciting when it’s a hobby that’s supposed to help me thru the actual brunt of life.
anyways, i’m getting a little carried away here. all this to say, i just need to take time away from posting my works so i can see writing as something for myself n not for others again. i don’t want the thoughts swimming in my head to be thoughts of anxiety over people potentially criticizing me n my creative decisions. i want the thoughts in my head to once again be positive, excited, and nurturing towards my stories. i don’t see how i can accomplish that at this point unless i start writing for myself once more, and not for others
i still have a great deal of passion to write, which is why i haven’t formally taken down my works. i anticipate that i may be able to come back in the future to share my writing again. but as of right now, i just want to heal the relationship that i have with this hobby, and i feel like that’s gotta happen in private (lmfao it sounds like im tryna freak my writing)
i’m sorry that i turned off my asks n my replies, i know so many of u care about me n want to support me n i just am beyond thankful. i don’t anticipate this is a forever goodbye, but i do just need some time rn away from all of this.
hope u all have a happy time!! and take care of yourselves :) much love
- ellie
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INEFFABLE META MASTERPOST
Because I'm slowly losing count and need to organize. So, here's all my self-written metas or ones that I reblogged with my own added theories and commentary! In rainbow colours, naturally.
1 – Aziraphale, I love you. But you lied. And here's why. My most lengthy and proudest meta about the Final Fifteen and why I think Aziraphale lied on purpose. (Also: The absolute darling @esthermitchell-author bravely fought their way through it and wrote up some more interesting points and different takes on what I came up with. If you want to go down a S2 rabbit hole with us, go read it here.)
2 – Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator (links below) A three-part meta in which I try to analyse and explain that all of the minisodes in Season 2 are not objective narrations but actually Aziraphale's memories.
Part 1: The Story of Job
Part 2: The Story of wee Morag
Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941
3 – The Jane Austen Ball and why it was never about Nina and Maggie A meta in which I go into unnecessarily great detail about how the Whickber Street Meeting Cotillion Ball was meant to be Aziraphale's confession to Crowley.
4 – Crowley & Aziraphale were never free (reblog) A reblog of @baggvinshield's post in which I explain why miscommunication is the single biggest ineffable enemy in Season 2.
5 – In Defense of Aziraphale (double reblog) A double try at explaining why I think Aziraphale's POV in the Final Fifteen is just as horrible as Crowley's and why I don't think him "choosing" to go back to Heaven was the only point of his character journey.
6 – The Art of Miscommunication: Ineffable Edition A meta in which i once again explain why miscommunication is the single biggest ineffable enemy in Season 2.
7– Season 2 Bookshop Shot Meta A meta where I briefly loose my mind because of a single bookshop frame in Season 2.
8 – What if it wasn't Aziraphale and Crowley who performed the 25 Lazarii miracle? A mini-meta in which I propose the theory that Jimbriel helped with the miracle to hide himself away from Heaven & Hell.
9 – Things in Good Omens Season 2 I still find weird (reblog) A reblog of @ok-sims and many other great OPs' thoughts on the weird loose strings in Season 2 and what unanswered questions I still have myself.
10 – The Deleted Bookshop Scene (reblog) A reblog of @skirtdyke's video and @i-only-ever-asked-questions' smart thoughts on it, with my own overly-excited 'what that could have meant for the "It's too late" line'-theroy.
11 – The Bentley Handle Easter Egg A meta I can proudly say has been liked by none other than Mr. Neil Gaiman himself about Crowley's Bentley handle that might have existed before the Bentley ever did.
12 – The F*cking Eccles Cakes A meta where I briefly loose my mind because of a pastry. (Addendum: People said very smart things in the comments of the post!)
14 – Re: "You go too fast for me, Crowley" A meta in which I make myself sad by connecting that infamous line to Aziraphale assuming Crowley wanted the Holy Water as a suicide pill.
13 – Trauma-Dumping on your plants: The Anthony J. Crowley Chronicles A meta on why Crowley treats his plants the way that he does.
14 – Demonic Mental Health Awareness Post In which I talk about why I want to get Crowley a therapy voucher.
15 – The Curious Incident of The Flaming Sword in Good Omens A meta on why the Flaming Sword has no deeper meaning. Or does it? (Updated: here's a reblog from @queerfables who did a wonderfully exellent job at calmly explaining all the swordy questions I was yelling about! Consider this meta solved.)
16 – Ceci n'est pas une plume A meta in which I'm a bit of a nerd for language and also explain why learning French and magic the human way says so much about Aziraphale as a character.
17 – The meaning of "I forgive you" A meta in which I explain what both "I forgive you"s mean and why Aziraphale will always fight for what is right until he wins. Also, the lovely @sharksbeerr translated it to Chinese on Weibo!
18 – Memory, or the lack thereof, in Season 2 A little reblog on how memory is a big and unresolved, leaky-bucket theme in Season 2.
19 – „It‘s always too late.“ (ft. Crowley‘s watch)
A short meta about that lines from Season 2 that won‘t leave my brain (and also Crowley‘s mysterious watch).
Addendum:
The one non-spoiler-y ask I could come up with about S2 that was actually answered by Neil, yay!
Also, this wholesome little post I added to that Mr. Gaiman also reblogged. :‘)
*** This is a work in progress and will get updated every time I post a new meta! ***
#good omens#good omens season 2#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#gos2#go2#good omens 2#good omens meta#good omens s2#my own meta#good omens season 1#meta masterpost#ineffable-suffering
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What killed Macaque?
Well I was going to link my first post about this but I... can't find it. Like I checked over and over and tumblr keeps telling me I made no post about lmk which... is weird. I don't know if it was deleted or it's buried in the internet but that's... fine. Just kind of annoying that I can't find my own post.
Anyways I guess I should recap.
I have never liked the theories of 'Wukong didn't actually kill Macaque' or 'LBD changed Macaque's memories' or anything like that.
But also don't like when everything is blamed on Wukong and those Wukong haters and/or Macaque 'did nothing wrong' fans paint the whole situation as solely Wukong's fault.
Did Wukong make bad choices and mistakes. Yes.
But so did Macaque.
Their fallout is both their faults.
Macaque from season 4 is able to understand that the Brotherhood were on a path of destruction and were doomed but the Monk was able to lead Wukong down a different path.
But remember we saw in the scroll that the Brotherhood during the jttw believed that Wuking was a traitor and it was only Macaque not fully 100% believing it.
We know in the og jttw Macaque was less of his own character and more of a dark reflection of Wukong. But even then we shouldn't dismiss entirely what jttw Macaque did (except for cooking a Flower Fruit Mountain monkey because I think lmk would not make Macaque be so friendly with the FFM monkeys if that was canon in lmk).
Jttw Macaque impersonated Wukong, beat up the Monk, stole the group's supplies, took over Flower Fruit Mountain, declared that he was going to do the journey with the scriptures himself, and then got into a really long fight with the real Wukong and literally like only 2 people were able to tell who's the real one (Budda and like this lie detecting bull from the underworld?), and when Budda reveals Macaque's true form Wukong kills him.
So clearly some things will be different.
But I do believe that lmk Macaque would pretend to be Wukong and would try to befriend the Monk like in the jttw. Because Macaque at this point would try and figure out what's going on.
The last time he talked to the Monkey King they had a fight. So that's probably why he just doesn't ask Wukong directly.
Also we should probably account for how emotional and potentially unstable Macaque probably is at this point if his best friend is back and working for the enemy for some reason.
So he tries to figure out that reason. But the thing is that when Macaque pretends to Wukong, it's after a major fight between Wukong and the Monk so the kind Tang Sanzang is just not wanting to deal with Wukong even after he's being nice.
So all Macaque sees is this rude and mean Monk that bosses Wukong around. So yeah he beats the $hit out of this ungrateful Monk.
Plus he would extra angry if he knows about how the Monk uses the Circlet on Sukong and hurts his best friend to discipline him.
Then cut to Wukong finally fighting Macaque.
Wukong has learned to be better and is probably seeing how the Brotherhood and his past deeds were not great, and Macaque was a part of that past.
Macaque is probably extremely upset that Wukong is taking the Monk's side and is just abandoning and leaving him again. No it's worst, he's turning on Macaque to stop him.
So this fight is probably extremely emotionally harrowing, with both of them not communicating and just having breakdowns and/or shoving down their true wants.
I mean in season 5 from the glimpse we see of the fight, Wukong is begging Macaque to not do this while Macaque is just laughing. So yeah he's probably have a complete breakdown and is hiding it under his dramatic b%tch persona he perfects after his revival to not be vulnerable.
One way this could end is Wukong accidently killing Macaque in a fit of rage or to protect his new family. Instead of killing his dark reflection he's killing his past.
But I also saw this interesting theory by @Cherllyio where Macaque's weird probably chaos related powers + him losing control of himself and his emotions while having a breakdown = Macaque self destructing literally.
I definitely hope that whatever the answer ends up being, that it's a situation where there's blame on both sides. That it was a messy situation and there's regret and pain (sudden LBD flash) but now if they wanted to, the two can finally... talk.
#lmk macaque#six eared macaque#lmk sun wukong#lmk wukong#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk theory#tang sanzang#lmk season 5
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You want to know one of the ways I know most B/T stans are here first and foremost for T*mmy and Lou more than Buck and Oliver or anyone else?
Look at the way they talk about their ship. Most of it is them parroting stuff Lou or T*mmy has said.
They call Buck Evan.
They constantly say B/T are thriving (because Lou said it in that one video).
They say T*mmy had a difficult childhood because Lou headcanoned that.
They defend how T*mmy treated Hen and Chim in s2. They even say that Hen and T*mmy are besties now when there is no evidence of that.
They never see any faults in anything T*mmy does. Not a single thing he did in season 7 was wrong in their eyes. Yet they don’t shy away from pointing out the faults they see in other characters including Buck and especially Eddie.
They talk about how much the show needs T*mmy. Needs to make him a main. Needs to give him a begins episode while some of them haven’t even seen any season before s7. They make posts about how much more deserving of being a main character T*mmy is than Ravi or Karen who have been there for years.
Most of the posts about B/T are either sexual (likely because T*mmy constantly makes everything sexual) or them headcanoning them as a way more serious relationship than what’s presented on screen. They constantly talk about how in love B/T are when no one has even said the word boyfriend yet. This in my opinion comes in large part from Lou’s cameos where he continually used language that made the relationship seem more important.
They talk about how much Buck needs T*mmy and a lot of their posts make Buck the damsel in distress trope. Which just goes along with how much T*mmy patronizes Buck. Calling him Kid, calling him Evan (even though everyone else calls him Buck), dismissive of his feelings when he gets upset like an adult to a kid (like at the bachelor party), the daddy kink joke when Buck was trying to be vulnerable about his real father figure almost dying. Making decisions for Buck without talking to him (again like you would a child) like when T*mmy just abruptly told Buck he wasn’t ready and left him at the restaurant.
They say that Buck’s season 7 journey would be meaningless if B/T ends in season 8. They accuse us of making Buck’s coming out about Buddie but they have definitely made Buck’s coming out about T*mmy. They have said without T*mmy Buck wouldn’t have even realized he’s bi. Yet we know from Oliver he was attracted to Eddie in season 2.
They talk about how much T*mmy cares about Buck and how much he understands him but we've had so many examples of the opposite being true. At Buck's first date with a guy T*mmy didn't seem to have the patience for Buck's nervousness and left him at the restaurant with little explanation. The bachelor party T*mmy chose not to dress up and didn't seem to care even though the party meant a lot to Buck. The medal ceremony Buck was excited and T*mmy's response was "enjoy it while it lasts". In the deleted scene with Henren T*mmy seemed blase about his relationship with Buck. At the dinner Buck was opening up to T*mmy and T*mmy changed the subject to sex.
Also I rewatched a bunch of Lou’s cameos (pray for my soul 🤢) and in them he often will confirm whatever they ask him. This is why they continued to spend money on them because it was like an echo chamber with a “celebrity”. They’d headcanon something T*mmy was doing or thinking ask Lou and he would confirm it even though there was little to nothing to indicate that in the scene or script. His motivation I’m sure was to keep his little sycophants around and sending him 100/200 bucks a pop for his videos. But the main thing it did was create a monster of a mini fandom that believes everything they were told is the gospel according to Lou F*rrigno Jr.
They believe that not only is what they've seen on screen canon but so is everything Lou told them and they use that as a way to feel superior in the 911 fandom. Us looking at the many many years of Buddie's history seeing the depth of their relationship and seeing the logical place their relationship will go just makes us look desperate and delusional to them. Even though some of them used to be Buddie shippers. It's like they got lobotomized and removed the Buddie part of their brains.
They believe that not only are Lou and Oliver (he supposedly doesn't post on ig about Lou or B/T to protect them😒) on their side they also believe they have Tim on their side as well. They wholeheartedly believe that Tim is invested in B/T (despite all the evidence in s7 to the contrary) and that he can't stand the Buddie fandom and that he wants to punish us by never making them a canon couple. Nevermind the fact that since Tim has returned to showrunner Buck and Eddie have been together more than ever and in really important scenes that deepened their relationship no less.
I really can't help but wonder what they are all going to do when it dawns on them that their ship isn't going to last because Buddie or no Buddie I don't see B/T lasting beyond season 8. They have built this ship up to be some amazing love story when nothing in canon has given the impression that T*mmy is supposed to be anything other than the first guy Buck dates. In fact the relationship is like a lot of Buck's other relationships with women. Buck is still with someone who doesn't really get him. He only thinks it's different this time because T*mmy is a guy and there's been all that excitement that comes from exploring your sexuality for the first time. When that newness starts to fade Buck will have to look at his relationship with T*mmy and he'll realize he's been trying to be a version of himself to fit the relationship. Just like he did with Taylor. Buck wants someone who will love him to the core of who he is. Someone who he won't have to contort himself into a different version of so they will stay and love him. Soon he'll realize he's had that person in his life already for a long long time in Eddie.
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How would the first meeting between the Autobots and the humans have gone? With their more alien and most likely more imposing forms (due to their Cybertronian vehicle modes) I assume the government agents / military personnel sent to investigate were rightfully afraid. (Personally I think seeing 15-30 foot robots with optics that pierce through the presumably kicked up dust would be a little scary) Perhaps they would’ve spoken in a mix of Cybertronian and English? Would they have simply stared and watched, like in your Grim Dark Archives AU? I dunno it’s just something I thought would be interesting, but I already sent you a few requests, so feel free to delete this one. (To clarify this is a request for a longer writing post)
I have thought about this probably more than I should have. Writing The Grim Dark Archives gave me ideas for this ask, hence my IMPOSSIBLY slow response. Annnnnnyway, here you go!
━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙
The Autobots had plenty of time to prepare for their inevitable interactions with humanity during their journey. At the time the team consisted of Ratchet, Optimus, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee. As such, they were too few in number to go for any real intimidation tactic, not that they would have gone that route anyway. There was no choice but for them to learn to communicate.
But of course, due to the HIGHLY varying methods of human communication across Earth, it was decided that each of the team would specialize in different methods of communication to ensure that at least someone could talk. Ratchet went the technological way and learned how to communicate in human morse code, the various computer coding languages, and digital texting. He hated every single moment of having to figure it all out, but at least he wasn't Bulkhead. Poor Bulkhead was tasked with learning the more physical methods of communication just in case things went south. He spent hours upon hours watching traditional dances and physical activities from around the world meant to express certain intentions. Let it be said that he is not a good dancer.
Bumblebee of course went down the route of non verbal communication for obvious reasons. He learned all the various sign languages available, practiced miming, learned various whistles, and familiarized himself with music in order to create ambiance as needed. Some species worked differently after all. Optimus for his part actually learned the spoken languages of Earth. Being a former archivist made the process far easier than it otherwise would have been, but he still spent a ridiculous amount of time practicing to get it right. With all of this having been done, when the team finally arrived on Earth, they felt they were ready.
They were incredibly wrong in their assumption.
They spent a handful of weeks undercover, but a few too many security cameras ended up getting them caught. Soon enough they were confronted with quite a few armed vehicles surrounding them and what had to be around a hundred soldiers with weapons raised. The team had learned what surrender looked like and so raised their servos up to show they passivity. That action seemed to give the gathered soldiers pause, and not too long later, a speaker was sent before them.
"I am Agent Fowler from the Department of Defense. What are you and what are you doing here?"
"We are Autobots. We come from the stars."
"You are aliens?"
"Affirmative. We arrived in a spaceship."
"A spaceship?"
"Affirmative. We came to find our bullies."
"Your... *wheeze* bullies?"
"Is that the incorrect term? We seek our... brothers?"
"Right, you came here to find someone. What do you plan on doing here while you hunt them down? Are you planning on blowing anything up?"
"Negative. Combustion of native structures and lifeforms is not on our wishlist."
"Wishlist?"
"Affirmative? Is that not how the term is used? I apologize."
"No no its fine. Let's talk this out."
Optimus did his very best to get the point across, but due to the many similar words in the English language, his ability to use words in context was rather limited. It also did not help that he spoke as though every single word was coming from a script, which unknown to Agent Fowler, he absolutely was reading from his translation program. He was disturbing and hilarious to speak to and Agent Fowler had to step aside and laugh more than once before going back over to the bots to continue talking in a secure facility. But this was noticed rather quickly, and so eventually the team swapped tactics. Optimus stood quietly and stared to try and figure out how to adjust his speech patterns while the rest of the team worked in tandem to communicate differently.
Fowler was not pleased when he had to fetch a technician to try and translate what Ratchet was typing up, which largely amounted to very very complex code going into the extreme details of their situation. Ratchet almost flipped a table when the technician gave up two lines of code in. The medic was not at all happy to have to think about learning the native language. At least with code he could fudge it a bit. But if the squishies couldn't even read the most "basic" of code strings, he was doomed. Bulkhead didn't fare much better in his attempts to dance in various American styles to show how the Autobots were trying to be friendly. His moonwalk was the only thing he was able to do right and all it did was leave the entire collection of human personnel laughing themselves half to death. Humiliated, Bulkhead made way for Bumblebee who managed to convey more vital information through sign language. He got across about as much as Optimus did, but finally there was some sort of answer for the humans present.
Then of course, there was the mess that way asking for names.
"The military will decide what we are going to do with you, but for now you all can stay here. Do you have any names to do with your files?"
"Affirmative. Our names are not pronounceable in your language, but they can be translated."
"Well lay it on me."
"This is Bumbling Bee. Or perhaps Honey Bee? Striped insect? I am afraid I do not have a proper translation."
"Bumblebee it is. What's next? Cargo lift?"
"Negative. This is Dividing Wall."
"Dividing... wall."
"I believe that is the most direct translation. A close synonym would be Bulkhead."
"Right... who is the red one then?"
"My companion is named after a tool on our homeworld. I do not believe you have the exact same tool here. The closest object I could find was the tool you call a ratchet."
"So his name is Ratchet?"
"It is close enough. Is "he" the correct referral for us on your world?"
"You look more masculine, so unless you want to be a she-"
"No, your masculine referral is sufficient."
"What is your name then big guy?"
"I am... Best First? I believe that is the most direct translation of my designation."
"Best First? You must have quite the ego."
"I did not choose my designation, it was given upon my rise to my station. However as my designation seems to be offensive, I will attempt an another translation."
"Wait-"
"Optimus Prime is sufficient. That is the designation by which I believe I can be referred to."
"Alright then. This is going to be a headache."
The Autobots were kept in a facility until the military questioned them more and understood their intentions. But there were more than a few miscommunications and both Ratchet and Bulkhead lamented the many hours spent learning what they now knew to be a useless form of communication.
#transformers#maccadam#transformers prime#team prime#optimus prime#ratchet#bumblebee#bulkhead#agent fowler#cybertronian culture#this was just a goofy thing#and I will never not find it funny that Optimus has a name that literally means best first#dude had no choice but to look arrogant
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I saw that recent post you made writing out how you view all the Avatar characters, and in it, you mentioned that your opinion of the characters has changed a lot in the past year and a half (I can't believe it's been that long since ATWOW!)
So how did your opinion of the characters change and why? Who changed the most radically? I'd love to hear your thought process!
Warning: yapping ahead
My opinion changed as I began consuming content from different people in the fanbase, as I sadly started out my journey relegated to mostly the recom side of the fandom.
A very specific vision I’ve formed was one of him and Neytiri. Her and Spider are two individuals forced to be close by circumstance, and not necessarily liking each other but they’re known each other for so long that they know each other, you know? The way I see it, they can’t pretend to be strangers, and their argument in the high ground comics, which is the only time any of the children oppose Neytiri makes me think that this is the dynamic going on between them.
Being a Spider fan outside of the recom space was a horrible experience for many of my mutuals, and I heard from more than one person that just liking the character earned them death threats, so I kept to the only space where he was actually liked, which uh…may or may not have been a bit of an echo chamber.
First months after ATWOW came out the opinions were extremely polarising and there was little depth to go around. I realised later on though, I didn’t have to pick a side and didn’t have to force myself to forgive Quaritch, because I never wanted to. I didn’t have to see him as either a 🥺baby gworl🥺 or an emotionless monstrosity.
As I said before, the essays made by Quaritch fans sold me at first. They seemed to provide a lot of proof and I was on board with the identity crisis theory, but as time went on I believed it less and less. Looking at the movie with fresh eyes months later, I formed and opinion of my own and that is — That recom Quaritch is an amalgamation of his past self and the Na’vi instincts/perspective of his new body. He’s a fucked up soup that is, in a way, different than his human predecessor but not different enough to be considered a wholly separate creature. If human Quaritch was a dying garden then recom Quaritch is that same garden decayed to the core, with one single flower emerging amongst the rot, not yet consumed by it. (That flower being his fatherhood obv)
I went from seeing him as a man perhaps capable of redemption and seeing value in Pandora, to a man who, while not enjoying violence per ce, obviously doesn’t give much of a damn about the moon or its habitat or its many cultures. All that matters to Quaritch is that these things matter to his son, so he’ll entertain them and go easy on the destruction, just for him. He doesn’t yet accept Pandora, not fully, but he accepts that Spider does so. That is about his only good quality.
The way I began to see it, Socorro is somewhat his only functioning organ. A breathing lung in an otherwise dead body. Miles hasn’t felt anything but manic happiness and rage for as long as we knew him on screen, and that only changed when he stood in the boy’s presence, constantly challenged by him, and brought out of his comfort zone over and over again. He needs him to be remotely alive and likeable to the audience. He needs him to be something more than a chained army dog.
That brings me to my next point; my other big change in perspective was one of his dynamic with Spider. The more I analysed the franchise the more I came to conclusion that Miles is just an unbearable softie for him, and it was really the deleted scenes and the fact that Spider has a new bow in the ikran taming scene that sold me. He not just likes Spider, he loves him, to death. His sacrifices might not seem sufficient, but for his character, they‘re very much drastic, as Miles is traditionally not a loving person.
Quaritch is canonically a traitor to the RDA because he jeopardised his mission three times in a row, all for a single child. His inner father and colonel are constantly fighting each other, as he knows what he should be focusing on, but can’t resist being a father; having priorities of his own. He was an old fool who thought he could have his cake and eat it too; make Spider safe and happy and be a colonel at the same time, but in the end he made up his mind on what matters more, and it’s Spider. The way I see it now is; Quaritch is only truly loyal to Spider. He can hate it, but he can’t run from it.
#atwow#avatar way of water#atwow quaritch#recom quaritch#miles quaritch#atwow spider#spider socorro#avatar spider#avatar 2#avatar the way of water
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Em, I came into the whole 'Benz-Garfield are desperate to get paired and/or make KimKenta happen' thing halfway through and I feel like I'm still desperately playing catch-up. Congratulations to them on making Part A happen and good luck with Part B, though! But in the interests of me continuing to play catch-up on this whole fascinating process, do you know if there's a timeline of events or a tiktok folder or *something* out there to help me piece together when all of this properly took off and when Benz in particular decided to go full unhinged with it?
Thanks for your help!
Anon if you weren't watching Pit Babe as it aired, I hope you are prepared for the emotional roller coaster that happens when you are waiting every week to see if Kim and Kenta even get screentime together. I felt like I was watching the last several episodes of Pit Babe on a fever high.
I am actually working on a timeline, but it’s not fully cohesive nor complete yet, since there’s simply so much to sift through on multiple social media platforms, and no platform has a perfect search function. It also doesn’t yet include social media posts where they were simply just… flirting with each other, but all the social media posts on the blog should at least be dated.
If you want to go through things more quickly, the archive page has a tag filter (one of my favorite tumblr features), and you can swap in any tag you like in the url, since the dropdown only lists featured tags.
It’s also hard to pinpoint a single moment when Benz decided to go unhinged with it, since he’s been pushing it from pretty early on. There also aren’t any dedicated translators in BenzGarfield fandom who are fluent in both Thai and English, so we either get machine translations or translations that are few and far between. There's also a lot of old posts that have been deleted, or accounts that have gone private, so even just the act of gathering everything is an effort, let alone organizing it into a big picture.
Here's what I can give as a highlight timeline though.
They met in late 2022 (Love Fest Thailand in November or December I think, I couldn't find pics, but I did just watch an old interview last night where they talk more in depth on their first impressions, which I plan on recording and uploading, but Garfield said something that can be paraphrased to the extent of "Do people this friendly and charming exist in real life?")
Benz was mingling with Change2561 actors, but they officially became coworkers in Feb 2023 when they were both cast in Pit Babe
Boys Journey started filming very shortly after—I don’t have a sharp timeline but the range is sometime from Feb to May. Benz was already going at it in Boys Journey (“BenzGarfield forever” - ep 10), when they ostensibly didn’t know their roles or if they’d be put in an actual ship (they were somewhat rotated around with ppl until later in Boys Journey, when I imagine the staff had chemistry based partnerships in mind)
In March, Garfield said he would choose Benz to flirt with out of all the cast.
By August, Benz was asking Garfield to take his last name 🤷♂️ (but Garfield keeps trying to take Benz's first name instead)
There was a lot going on while Pit Babe was filming (Sept-Nov). They were excited about filming the two whole scenes they had together, they tweeted about it the night before, they were improvising what communication between Kenta and Kim might be like, Benz was visiting set even when he didn't have any scenes (albeit likely for the free food, but keeping Garfield company while Charlie fakes his death is a nice bonus)
I haven’t been able to find it again (yet)(thank you YT’s horrible search function) but there was a livestream last year where Benz talked about Kenta calling Kim and inviting him to Thailand, which… never happened, so I can only assume they were at the point of making things up (which actors sometimes do when they need a better grip on a character), and probably explains the really loaded look they gave each other in the elevator, bc to them there had been more interactions between their characters.
The first event they did together (outside of full-cast stuff) was the RealMe sponsorship in September 2023, but it was presented as Garfield & Benz (didn’t stop Benz from once again asking Garfield to take his name). The first time (that I’m aware of) that they had an event with their ship name was the GarfieldBenz x Central Rayong event in December 2023. Filming was completed in November, so they obviously had known for a while that KimKenta weren’t a couple, but that wasn’t going to stop them from bickering over which of their characters would like the other first
In February, they were posting really shippy stuff right before the Pit Babe finale, which felt like queerbaiting at the time, but we didn’t know that Long Beans was being planned (they would begin the physio workshop a month later), so I think this was either a “we’re excited we get to play a ship but can’t say anything yet” or a “staff hasn’t made up their minds on casting us so let’s just show some potential.”
Also at the finale in February, Garfield said he wanted to be Kim's faen.
By the time Long Beans was announced in March and they were officially announced as BenzGarfield, there was no holding back, especially on the KimKenta front. Benz made a fuss during Long Beans presscon about them not getting any screentime together, and during the Changing event in April they talked about going to the writers and begging for KimKenta/KentaKim.
Anytime they're asked about S2, they're vague about it, and I imagine they will be until we see something onscreen (they have to keep me desperate and foaming at the mouth), but they have expressed that they want to continue working as screen partners for a long time. If KimKenta happens I don't think anyone will be happier than those two.
I hope this helps, anon! Trying to capture and organize all of their moments is a daily task, and it sometimes feels like I am Sisyphus.
#benzgarfield#benz atthanin#garfield pantach#pit babe#pit babe the series#kimkenta#kentakim#asks#em post#in answering this ask i realized how many moments are still missing from the blog GOD the work will never end...
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This was a request for Jimin to have a sneezy allergic reaction that turned into a cold that he tried to cover up, but the original question post won't let me save any edits 😔
I’m so sorry it took so long..I kept rewriting it because it just seemed awful to me and it got to the point where I pulled out my laptop so I could freely move paragraphs and delete scenes more easily. I'm sorry if in the process it got messed up, I'm going to edit it after posting because if i don't, it'll never leave my drafts.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Taehyung asks Jimin for the fourth time since they started their journey to their next filming location.
"Yes Taehyung-Ah, I'll be fine. I spoke to a doctor about it and got a special medication and air filtering mask to use when we aren't filming. I can handle a few cats.." Jimin speaks confidently, reaching over to take Taehyung's hand. "Will you be okay with how humid it's going to be?"
"I'll be uncomfortable, but I'll be okay. I'll just be sure to drink a lot of water." Taehyung squeezes Jimin's hand. "Don't worry about me. Just worry about yourself."
"Alright, as long as you're sure. Oh! Jimin-ah the place we're staying has a pool so we can cool off after shooting, and staff say we'll be free to do whatever we want at night." Taehyung switches subject to a brighter one.
"A nice night swim sounds amazing.." Jungkook joins in with a yawn, lifting his head from Jimin's shoulder. "What time is it?"
"Ah youre awake Gukkie. Did you sleep well?" Jimin asks, trying to re-fluff Jungkook's hair from where he was lying on it, smiling fondly. "It looks like it.."
"Yeah...I was listening to that audiobook Namjoonie-hyung recommended but I ended up falling asleep." Jungkook says rubbing his eyes, checking the time on his phone. "Oh we're gonna be landing soon..our arrival time is 9:15, it's already nine! Did you take the medicine already Jimin-sii?"
"Aish..I almost forgot.. thanks Jungkook-ah.." Jimin digs in his carry-on bag, eyes widening when he realizes he had the wrong bottle in his hands. Sh*t.. I grabbed my usual allergy medicine out of habit instead of the new one I went to the doctor for..
"What's wrong Jimin-ah?" Taehyung asks, concerned when he sees Jimin's face fall into a frown. "Do you not have it?"
"No, no I have medicine..I just noticed I forgot something at home, but it's fine." Jimin takes one of the pills, swallowing it down with a grimace.
"Here, have some water Jiminie." Taehyung offers his water to Jimin a bottle of water. Who takes a drink.
"Thanks, Tete.." Jimin washed the pill down, passing it to Jungkook who was reaching with eager hands. I hope it'll be enough.. I don't want to be the one to ruin the music video. Maybe there won't be as many cats around...
"Oh wow..this place really does have as any many cats as it people here!" Jungkook exclaims, watching the cats wandering the market.
"There's actually more cats than people here.." Yoongi corrects him, stepping closer to Jimin. "I'm worried about it."
"Will you be okay Jiminie?" Hoseok asks sharing Yoongi's concern, looking at Jimin with uncertainty. "I didn't think wild cats would be this close to people."
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I took medicine earlier, I just have to be cautious and take breaks between filming with them…" Jimin says, trying to sound confident. One cat was okay, especially because cats normally stay for a few minutes and then leave, but he counted eight cats watching them with curiosity or fleeing out of sight as they went to the filming location.
"We'll try to film as quickly as possible." Namjoon felt uneasy filming here, feeling the same concern for Jimin. Still, the song was a collaboration with another artist to fundraise to help the animal population that plagued the small country, giving them more animals than they could take care of and the members couldn't turn it down.
"I can do this. I feel fine." Jimin promises to reassure his team, ensuring his mask completely covers his face, silently apologizing to the makeup artist who recently finished it for the shoot. "It's just a few days of being uncomfortable to help save hundreds of little lives."
"Just keep your hands clean as much as you can. We brought hand sanitizer." Yoongi tells Jimin, afraid that he might accidentally make his eyes red and puffy if he touched them after touching the felines.
"I know, I know. I'll be careful." Jimin felt a cat rub against his leg, looking down at the calico by his feet, resisting his urge to stroke her, bending down to take a closer look with his hands firmly in his pockets. "Oh wow.. you look a lot like the cat I filmed with in Serendipity.. but you have more orange patches.."
"We have work to do. Ignore the kitty, you can play with him later." Jin gently scolds him, not wanting him to take extra risks when they haven't even started filming.
"Calicos are usually female.." Jimin states with a small pout when the cat meows for attention, Yoongi bending down to pet the calico instead.
"Yoongi-yah don't encourage him.." Jin sighs, watching Yoongi scratch behind the calico's ear on Jimin's behalf, getting a smile out of the other members.
" Come on, Yoongi-hyung, you gotta leave the kitty too." He pulls Yoongi back to his feet, fighting off the urge to rub at his eyes. There's cat fur in the wind, I can feel my eyes watering every time a breeze rolls through
"I'm coming, I'm coming." Yoongi leaves his new furry friend, following them to a park they set up for the music video. "Maybe I'll adopt a cat from here one day.."
"Oh wow.. there are several cats here, too.. are they all tame?" Jin asks when he heard a hissing cat from near the fountain where they were going to be working.
"[Do they bite or scratch or are they like.. all friendly?Or is just certain ones?]" Namjoon asks for Jin, watching two cats fighting underneath the fountain.
"[They aren't all friendly because of some bad people making them lose trust, but none of them will attack you unless you corner them or if they are protecting their young. Just let them come to you instead of you approaching them, and you'll have no issues.]" The man explains to Namjoon in English. "[Those two won't hurt you. it's just mating time, and they have their eyes on the same female..]" The man shoos off the cats, the two males darting towards the treelines.
"They aren't really aggressive, some just don't trust people..if we let them come to us he says we'll be fine. It doesn't sound any different than normal neighborhood cats, just larger numbers." Namjoon explains to his members. "Still be careful.. Don't try to come to them let them come to you."
"[Is everyone ready then? No more questions? We need to film before the sun sets behind the mountains, and we lose the natural light.]" The director asks.
"[We're ready..]" Namjoon answers in English, gathering his team close together."we need to do our best. We're racing against time and we only have three days here.."
Jimin removes his face mask to start filming, giving it to a staff member to hold while they start the opening scene, the seven of them making a wish at the fountain on by one, surrounding it in a half circle. The shot was nearly perfect until it got to Jungkook, who threw the coin too hard, landing outside of the camera shot with a sploosh.
"Aish I'm sorry!" Jungkook apologizes, ears reddening in embarrassment to be the first member to make a mistake, his heart pounding in his ears. "[I'm sorry..]"
"It's okay, it could've happened to any of us. I'm surprised i did it correctly." Namjoon puts an arm around Jungkook. "We'll just film it again. No big deal, we have plenty of spare coins."
"I'll get it in the center frame this time." Jungkook pouts at the realization they don't speak Korean. "[Sorry..please..try again?]"
"[Its okay, you got this. Its just a bit of nerves Jungkook just be gentle. Just toss it in front of you so it falls nicely, don't throw it..]" The director tells him calmly, Jungkook nodding. "[Good.. let's start over.]"
The director wanted the scene to be a one shot, panning through each member so the members started from the top, Jimin fighting off the urge to sneeze until the director called cut, failing miserably.
"heh' hejish'Heh'vchi!" Jimin covers his face the sneeze escaping right when it was Jin's turn to drop his coin, making Jin jump. "Aish'm sorry hyung.."
"It's okay. Are you okay?" Jin didn't care about jumpscare, only about his little brother. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah, something just tickled my nose. I can do this.." Jimin answers with a sniffle, staff quickly bringing him a tissue. "Let's try it once more. They do say third time is a charm right?" Jimin tries to keep a cheery attitude, despite the uncomfortable nasal pressure building up. He tries to blow his nose to ease it away, but it did nothing but ruin his make up, staff needing to touch it up once more.
"If you need a break, please don't hesistate to ask okay?" The woman fixing his make up tells him with concern, noticing how red his nose as already gotten in such a short time.
"We only just started. I'm okay, really." Jimin says with a gentle smile.
The members get through the first scene without any issues for the third take, Jimin sighing with relief when the looked over the footage, being sure his eyes weren't red on camera.. I look fine for now, but how long will it be before we have to stop filming because of me?
"Jimin-ah.." Yoongi gently nudges him when he notices Jimin wasn't paying attention. "He's talking to you..he wants you to do your up close shot first."
"['m sorry. Please say again.]"Jimin bows, blushing in embarrassment. How unprofessional.. spacing out like that in the middle of a shoot. I need to focus.. The longer we have to perform, the worse I'll feel... we just need to get through this.
Jimin was given a cat to be his filming partner for the shoot, gently stroking her glossy patch work coat to try to earn hers trust for the shot, smiling brightly when she headbutts his cheek. "[She's so soft and pretty.]"
"[Her name is maple. This is your cat in the storyline. She actually belongs to someone.. We specifically found a hypoallergenic cat for you just as requested.]" The animal handler tells him.
"[Thank you..I'm sorry for being trouble..]" Jimin bows gratefully, giving a sweet apologetic smile. They found me a special cat for close up shots?I didn't request that..I thought it was strange i didn't feel worse when Maple brushed my cheek. They're so kind..I can't back out over some sniffles..
"[Alright..put Maple into position in the light square and get into your position, you made a wish and a cat appeared. Act surprised and pick her up. They'll click the clicker to give Maple the sign to touch your face. We might have to do it a few times if her paw isn't in a good position.]"
A translator repeats it in Korean when she notices that he didn't process anything, explaining that they planned for Jimin to do his solo shots first.
"[I understand..]" Jimin places Maple down on the fountain ledge, taking a deep breath before walking out of frame, walking towards the calico. I can do this.. it's just three days..
Jimin tried to hold back a sneeze while the director gave them their directions for the second day, rubbing the tip of his nose to try to ease the itch building up. We did all the close up acting scenes yesterday, now we just have to do the chero and film the scenes with our guest. I can do this.. "Hehtichih!" Jimin tries to muffle his sneeze, only Taehyung hearing it.
"You okay?" Taehyung whispers with concern when he sees Jimin trying to wipe his nose without ruining his makeup. He removes his bandanna, using it to gently dab the mucus from Jimin's face.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine..It's a manageable inconvenience.." Jimin sniffles, giving him a smile. "Thanks Tete.."
"If this is too much for you, just say something okay?" Taehyung frets over him gently removing a white cat hair from Jimin's shoulder. "Your eyes are getting starting to get red and you're sneezing much more.."
"What? my eyes are red?" Jimin frowns, turning to the fountain to see his reflection. He saw the red lines spiking from his irises."It looks worse than it feels, im fine.. I have eye drops in my bag." Jimin lies. Why do I feel worse than yesterday? I even took as strong as a dosage as possible, and Taehyungie and Jungkook came here early to scare off some cats..
"I'll get them for you." Taehyung leaves, briskly walking to get to Jimin's bag, digging through it.
"What's the rush? Is Jimin okay?" Namjoon asks, pulling on his shirt for the second wardrobe change.
"I don't know..his eyes are so red right now and he seems to be getting out of breath quicker than usual.. do you think we should ask for a break? I tried to make it have less cats with Jungkookie, but they came back.."
"I'll ask, but we're racing a storm right now..the weather was supposed to be clear this week. We just need to do the choreography, and we'll be finished today.." Namjoon quickly finished changing to check on Jimin.
"Heh'itcgi!" Jimin sneezes into a tissue, blowing his nose and sanitizing his hands for the umpteenth time that day.
Taehyung trails behind him, his heart clenching when he hears another wet sneeze come from his soulmate. Jiminie will only keep feeling worse as the day continues.."Jimin-ah, I brought the eye drops. Here. Tilt your head. I'll help you put them in.."
"Thanks, Tete that'd be great.." Jimin let's Taehyung gently place his hand on the back of his head, trusting him to support him as he leans back. Another sneeze was building, but with Taehyung so close to him, he forced the sneeze back."heh..heh.."
"Do you need a second?" Taehyung asks when he hears Jimin's breath hitching, pulling his hands away. "It's okay if you need to sneeze."
"No..no I'm okay.." Jimin lies, not wanting to worry Taehyung more than he already is.
"Okay..one..two and.. one-two…" Taehyung squeezes the drops into Jimin's eyes. "There.. all done.. slowly.." he guides Jimin to sit up again, hugging him close. "I wish I could do more to help.. Namjoon is going to see if we can do a break for you.."
"No, no I just want to get it over with..we can have a break when it rains. We're on a time limit and I won't be able to rest stressing about it." Jimin holds back a sneeze, the pressure building up making his eyes water.
They get through the chorus, before the wind started to pick up, carrying cat fur with it, irritating Jimin's sinuses further. Jimin pushes through the itch building in his nostrils,making it difficult to not ruin the shot by changing his facial expression. The director calls cut, releasing the members to monitor the shot.
"Aish, I messed up the shot.." Jimin frowns when he sees his facial expression in the back when him, Jungkook and Hoseok were center. "[Please can we redo?]"
"I saw that too. We'll need another cut.." Namjoon says apologetically.
"Are you okay to do it again Jimin-ah?" Hoseok whispers when he hears Jimin's breath hitching, no longer interested in the choreography.
"I'm fine..I just..heh..Heh'hehitchi!" Jimin sneezes into his hands to avoid sneezing on Hoseok, another sneeze following right after. "Hehtichih! Heyitcyh! Heh..heh..uiyxheu!" He sniffles, not moving his hands from his face.
"Here Jimin-ah.." Taehyung holds a tissue box out to him"I think you need to sit away from the cats for a bit.."
Jimin pulls a couple out gratefully, trying to clean up his face. "Ugh.. this is so annoying.. I should be able to handle this better.. no.. "
"It's okay, Jiminie. we all have our strengths and weaknesses." Yoongi reassures Jimin, pushing his hair behind his ear. "Are you crying?" He asks with concern when he sees the tears in his eyes, grabbing a tissue to lightly dab them away, not wanting the chance of his hands making his allergies worse.
"No, no. I'm not, it's just from the sneezing. I'm okay hyung.." Jimin smiles, surprised to see Yoongi be the one to dry his eyes when Hoseok and Taehyung were right there. "Thank you.. I think..I'm okay now.."
"Are you sure?" Hoseok asks, hugging Jimin from behind. "You're still breathing heavy.."
"It's just because of my nose being stuffed up. I'll have enough of a break when they fix my makeup." Jimin sniffles, letting the make up noona redo his make up around his eyes and nose. "I'm sorry..but i.. ah..aeh'tichi!" Jimin sneezes. "Heh'heh..itsth! Heh' x'shiugh.." Jimin sneezes a few more times, closing his eyes tightly.
"It's okay. It's not your fault. I used something more waterproof this time. Come back to me so i can help you get it off okay?" She speaks kindly.
"Thank you." Jimin sniffles, returning to the group, taking a deep breath. "I'm okay now, let's go back to filming.. Maybe we should do the group acting scenes first.."
The seven go back to acting out their scenes taking a break from the chreography, Jimin grateful that he did all his close ups first. I have to get it right this time, the longer i stay out here the harder it'll be to control my sneezes and on top of it the clouds are getting darker..
Stress knotted Jimin's stomach, only adding another layer of discomfort to his list. He ignored the pain, going back into his position, holding his breath every time he was near the front, making him feel lightheaded as he switched positions.
"Cut!" The cameraman yells, the members relaxing. Jimin falls to his knees, trying to catch his breath,gasping for air.
Jungkook and Taehyung rush to his side, the two looking at him with matching concerned expressions. Taehyung gently rubs Jimin's back, trying to do something to ease his suffering. "You okay Jiminie? Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want some water? A tissue?"
Jimin wants to answer Taehyung. Wants to tell him he just needs to sit away from the island's feline friends for a bit, but the loathed feeling of needing to sneeze returned, unable to get any words out, sniffling to try to ease the pressure, only triggering more sneezes. "Heh'thchi! Hey'Heh'heyhvhi!"
"Jimin you're done for today, this is too much for you to handle. We need to stop for today.." Namjoon speaks sternly, Jimin shaking his head.
"No, please.. Namjoon-sii we're almost finished… I can do this." Jimin begs, clasping Namjoon's hands. "It's only going..to be another hour.. of filming. I'll rest after."
"Jimin, you're pushing youself too hard, you're shaky on your feet and you're struggling to breathe. You need to listen to your body. We can extend our trip if needed. You need rest.."
"Then just give me ten minutes to recover..Please?" Jimin begs, ignoring the urge to sneeze. "I don't want to..be the reason we don't finish on time.."
"Alright, but if you feel even an ounce worse, you have to tell me." Namjoon frowns, knowing full well Jimin would end up crying in the rental house. He's going to get worse either way, the storm will force him to stop soon enough..
The seven boys went through the cherography three times before they got a shot Jimin and the others were happy with. Relief washed over Jimin when the director praised them, him falling to his knees, struggling to catch his breath.
"I did it..We just need to do one wardorbe change and we'll be finished.." Jimin coughs, trying to catch his breath.
"I don't think we can do that Jiminie, the clouds are getting so dark.." Taehyung says looking up at the clouds, trying to hide his relieved smile that the weather was going to force Jimin to take a break. "We need to find-"
The clouds that threatened rain finally burst drowning out the rest of Taehyung's words, a heavy rainfall drenching the members as Jungkook quickly scoops up Jimin, running towards the safety of the rental car, the others following.
"Jungkook-ah… I..I can walk on eh..heh..heudhichi!" Jimin sneezes into Jungkook chest, not able to let go of Jungkook's neck to sneeze into his hands fast enough. "Heh'itchii!" Another one follows right after.
"My poor hyungie.." Jungkook coos, putting Jimin in the car, sliding in right after. "You okay Jiminie?"
Jimin tried to answer, but another few sneezes stopped him, sniffling miserbly. "Heh'thih..hEH'ITCHI.."
"I don't think we'll be able to film tomorrow, with it raining this hard the ground is going to turn to mud.." Namjoon says when he gets in, drying his face with a towel he left in the car earlier, and passing it to the member next to him.
"I think we got enough usable footage to make the music video still." The staff tells them, the boys visibly relaxing.
"What about filming for Samatha's verse?" Namjoon frets about their guest artist that was coming tomorrow. "Will she not be able to perform her verse with us?"
"We'll film it in an inside location, we'll see what type of set we can make. Don't worry, we'll handle it." Their manager tells them. "Just focus on resting for the rest of the day."
"Jimin you'll shower first when we get to the house okay?" Jin orders, trying to get Jimin's wet hair out of his eyes.
"You're the oldest, you should get the first shower." Jimin sniffles, trying to fight off another sneeze.
"No, Jimin-ah, you need it more than me. You'll feel better once you get washed up." Jin declined. "I'll shower after you. It's no big deal. Just shower and rest up. Okay?"
Jimin wakes up to the sound of Jungkook accidently rolling out of bed, his head pounding with a sinus headache. It hurt to open his eyes to find the source, calling to Jungkook softly. "Are you okay Kook-ah?" Jimin's eyes widen when he hears how hoarse his voice became overnight, coughing right after.
"Yeah, I'm okay..my pillow fell with me. Are you okay hyung? You sound awful."
"I need some water." Jimin ignores his question, sitting up, resisting the urge to sneeze. I haven't been outside and all the windows have been shut since we arrived, why do I feel so awful?
"I'll go get you some. Wait here." Jungkook stretches, getting off the floor and leaving to the kitchen.
Jimin reaches for a tissue, noticing the mucus coming from his nose was no longer clear and runny. It became thick yellow mucus, indicating it wasn't just allergies anymore. Jimin swears underneath his breath when he feels another sneeze coming,
"Jimin-sii I brought you-"
"Heh'heh itchisg!" Jimin sneezes into his hands.
"Bless you Jiminie hyung.." Jungkook hands him a tissue.
Jimin blows his nose again, crumbling up the tissue and taking the water from Jungkook. "Thanks Jaykay.. my nose is driving me crazy..I can't wait to get off this island."
"It's the last day of filming, will you be okay?" Jungkook asks. "You're breathing heavy.."
"My nose is just stuffy, I'm okay. We're filming inside today so it won't be too hard." Jimin down plays how he feels, leaving out the sore throat and pounding headache.
"I'll make you some tea. Maybe that can help you feel a bit better. Don't forget to take your medicine before we go out." Jungkook tells Jimin leaving the room.
Jimin waits until he feels Jungkook is out of earshot to cough into his arm, trying to muffle the sound.
We're filming with Samantha today.. I can't let a cold ruin this..
Jimin takes another allergy pill and a painkiller for his headache before joining the others, Jungkook handing him a tea cup.
"Here jimin-sil, drink up. I added a tiny bit of ice so you won't burn your tongue." Jungkook says, taking a sip just to be sure it was at a drinkable temperature.
"Thanks Jaykay.." Jimin smiles, taking a big gulp from the cup. Please, work to soothe my throat and stomach.. I have too much to do today..
"1,2,3..hello.. we are..BTS." Namjoon starts their greeting, the members echoing 'bts right after him.
"[Im Samantha. It's so nice to meet everyone in person. Thank you so much for agreeing to help my passion project, it means so much to me.]" Samatha bows.
Jimin tries to hold back another sneeze while the translator speaks, translating Samantha's heart felt wish to help the animals she loves so much, holding his breath with his eyes squeezes shut, the pressure becoming more uncomfortable as the members introduced themselves.
"Are you okay Jimin?" Taehyung whispers.
Jimin nods, not wanting to worry him. Before Taehyung could question him further, he hears Samantha say his name.
"[Is it okay if I call you Tae hyung and not V?]" Samatha asks shyly. "[Im not a fan of using stage names while working. It feels distancing..]
"[Ah. No problem... it's nice to meet you.]" Taehyung takes her out reached hands to shake them.
Samatha turns to Jimin giving him a cheery smile. "[Hi, it's really nice to-]"
Jimin opened his eyes to greet her, but as soon as he stopped concentrating on keeping his sneeze back, a wet sneeze escaped him. "Heh'hehitfchi!"
He tried to turn on his heels to avoid sneezing in Samantha's direction,but his body gave him no time to react.
"[Oh it's you that was allergic to cats. I'm so sorry about all this. I really wanted to feature the animals we were trying to save and didn't think to look up if any of you were allergic..]" Samatha bows the whole time she's talking, Jimin matching her bow for bow despite how it made his head pound.
"[No, no big deal..I'm okay.. I love cat..no bow, no worry.. no sorry needed.]" Jimin tries to speak English to her, relaxing when she stops apologizing.
"[We only have this natural light for so long so I'd like to film right away..]" the director pulls the artists back into work
"[Right. I'm sorry.. I just wanted us to be a bit more comfortable working together. I got the choreography for the chorus down, but I want to run through it with the boys once before filming..]"
Jimin only felt worse as the time passed, the medicine doing nothing to ease his pain. Jimin was happy that they were doing a quick photo shoot with the set staff made.
"Jiminie looks exhausted.." Hoseok frowns, watching Jimin pose for the camera, laying on his back. Hoseok rushes over to help him to as soon as the photographer was pleased with his work, feeling the back of Jimin's neck. "You're warm Jiminie."
"It's just hot with those ring lights. I'm okay.." jimin trying to convince both Hoseok and himself.
"I'll go get you some water then.." Hoseok goes to get a water bottle, his worry increasing when he hears another sneeze come from the oldest of the mankae line.
"[Bless you.]" Samatha says sincerely, bringing over a bottle. "[I thought this might help you. It's a tea that helps my boyfriend when he's super congested. It's a bit spicy..]"
Jimins mind blanked on processing most of what she said, only understanding the drink she passed to him was to help him feel better.
At this point, he was willing to try anything, almost spitting out the tea when the spice hits him, swallowing it down.
"[I know, the thyme and ginger makes it have a strong taste, but it's really good for you." Samatha stifled a laugh seeing Jimins reaction.
"[It's okay, thank you for making for me..]" jimin takes another drink, surprised to feel the mucus loosen, causing a wet sneeze. "Heh'hehi'Itchi!"
"Here, blow your nose Jiminie.. Jungkook just finished the last photo so we're going to film soon." Namjoon bows his head to Samatha. "[Sorry to interrupt..]"
"[No, no. You guys take your work seriously and i really admire that about him Many artists would straight up refuse to film if they don't feel well]" Samatha says looking at Jimin sympathetically as he goes away from everyone to try to clear his nose.
"[I'll tell him that for you. It'll make him happy.]" Namjoons smiles, calling the members back to work.
I can't breathe.. my lungs are burning...
Jimin stumbled into Jungkook, ruining the shot for the third time. "I'm sorry..I'm sorry. I'll get it right this time...i..I just stepped to..far.."
"Are you okay Hyung? You're panting.." jungkook puts his arms around Jimin, holding his weight.
"I..I just got a bit dizzy..I just need..need..Heh'hehitfchi!" Jimin sneezes without giving him time to cover, sneezing on Jungkook.
"Ah, jimin-sii.." Jungkookie frowns, using a towel to wash off the snot from his shirt the best he could. "I think you caught a cold.. i think we should take a break."
"No..no we're almost finished filming I'll rest after. Everyone is tired..the sooner we finish the sooner we can go home..." Jimin sniffles, taking the tissue staff offered him.
"[If you aren't feeling well you should rest. Don't push yourself. I'm really tired too. I'm not used to heavy choreography like this..]" Samatha takes a seat on the ground dramatically. "[I was afraid to ask for a break when you boys were so focused..]"
Jimin looks to the translator, who explains it to him. "She's only saying that for my sake.." he says with a smile. The seven boys join her on the floor, Jimin leaning on Jungkook.
"You're so heavy.." jungkook teases, his smile dropping when he hears Jimin coughing into his fist. "Hyung. Hyung do you need some water?" He asks with panic, taking the waterbottle that Jin pushes towards them.
"No..no.. I'll..I'll throw up if..if I do.." Jimin pushed the water Jungkook offered away, trying to talk through the fit of coughs.
Jungkook frowns, trying to ease Jimin's suffering by rubbing his back. "Poor hyung..you really aren't well.."
"[I think we're done shooting for today..we'll just use the footage we have. I don't care if I look good in the shots. Let's use the first take.]" Samatha says putting up a finger when the boys go to argue. "[No, no compromising. I don't care about how i look, as long as it helps the cats. Everyone else looked good. I can live with my face looking too serious.]"
"She says she doesn't want to do anymore takes.. she wants to use the first take.." Namjoon translates for his members. "We're finished filming.."
Jimin's stomach knots with guilt, knowing how disappointed she was with the first take, but if she refused to film another take, he was in no condition to argue. "[I'm sorry..]" Jimin bows his head, forcing himself not to cough so he could properly apologize. "[We can work together again.. and I'll be sure everyone looks perfect...]"
#bts sickfic#bts boys#bts fanfic#bts#bts sickie#bts taehyung#bts jhope#bts namjoon#bts jimin#bts jungkook#bts jm#bts snz
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I'm done with Marvel. You killed my favorite character and I have no reason to stay.
Posting here since I'm unable to discuss it on reddit. The sub apparently only allows you to praise the show. You're never allowed to complain about anything.
Here's the post I put on reddit that got removed by the mods with zero explanation (aka they don't want anyone to criticize the show in any way, shape, or form)
Part 1:
The ONE thing they MUST NOT do was kill Agatha. And what did they do? Kill her. Absolutely there is no way to make a ghost interesting. She's going to have a few cameos and quips here and there and that's it.
I'm also pissed about the Road being totally fake. It makes no sense Billy can call trials into being like that when he doesn't even know how Taro works that well or anything else. It was fine to think Billy and other coven members were influencing the Road, but to say Billy 100% created it is ridiculous. And they could have easily had the Road never being summoned by Agatha before WITHOUT the Road being fake. They literally took a badass character like Agatha from Wandavision (who had the Darkhold etc) and turned her into someone who just wandered thru the woods with no food or money and never actually did anything cool like survive the real Witch's Road. They totally diminished her and now she's even further diminshed because she's a talking hologram from now on!
I liked the trial where Agatha helps Billy remember how he saved Tommy. I liked Billy zapping Agatha to restore her power. I hated most of everything from the moment Agatha died.
I kept thinking "surely Billy will resurrect her somehow? They won't leave her a talking hologram will they?"
UGH!! Such a waste of a great actress who could have done more in the future!
Most of Episode 8 was great like the rest of the series. Episode 9 can go die in a trash can. The heartwarming scenes with Agatha and her son were nice, but the rest of Episode 9 was garbage.
Part 2:
You cannot make this character work as a hologram. Just not going to happen. That’s a cameo role.
I’m so pissed we got so little backstory on her and it was right at the very end. I’m so pissed she got so little screentime in her own show overall. 9 episodes is too short to do much of anything, especially if you’re going to try to use only 9 episodes to flush out so many characters. Nobody got much screentime or backstory because there were so few episodes, but it really hurt Agatha because she has the most backstory that should have been explored. Agatha is not a starving peasant in the woods who only feeds like a parasite. She’s a badass, clever witch who loves knowledge and loves the craft and wants to know everything she can about it and wants to live a full life. Living in the woods as a beggar is not a full life.
The Road should have been real (heavily influenced by Billy and the other witches in the coven) but still REAL. Agatha should have been a survivor of the Road in the past. It should have been how she got the Darkhold for example. And she still could have fake-summoned the Road the rest of the time in order to trick covens.
For the ending, Agatha should have remained alive. Either she goes on the journey with Billy (and thinks she’s going to sneakily drain a few witches along the way) OR Billy finds a way to chain her power so she can’t drain others without his permission. No hologram ghost!!
Agatha was a really cool character in Wandavision and for most of Agatha All Along. They totally diminished her into a forest beggar parasite in episode 9.
P.S. before the subreddit mods deleted my post, someone was able to comment that Agatha manages to get her body back in the comics. So there's a tiny grain of hope. But in the meantime, if they even use her at all, holograms SUCK! She might as well be a disembodied voice at this point.
View-bombing the show is frustrating. But the other side is manipulating too. They aren't allowing any posts that criticize the show at all. There's a giant hole in my heart right now where Agatha Harkness used to be, but I'm supposed to "praise" and "cheer" the direction the show as taken because that's the allowed narrative.
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I’ve received notice that there was a callout on me in the Stanley Parable Creator’s Club server and I would like to address it as I am a bit tired of people talking behind my back. I wasn't contacted by anyone from the server directly about the issue.
The specific accusations were that I openly discussed a fic with NSFW themes to a minor, shared NSFW fic online without properly warning it for minors, and encouraged a self insert ship of one of my Narrator designs with a minor.
These accusations are false, or blown entirely out of proportion. I have never intended to hurt people nor endanger minors and based on screenshots I've received, people have been spreading even more extreme misinformations, like me being a groomer. I want to tell the story with the mentioned earlier things, in hopes to clear up this matter and stop the harassment me and people received.
1) Sharing NSFW Fic Online
I have been informed that I posted a link to my fic, "A broken promise", without a proper warning.
I did put appropriate warning in the tags, however I did forget about archive warnings options and I misjudged that the T rating would suffice. I also had only mentioned the rape in tags and not in the ao3 warning. I will be more careful when publishing work in the future.
I've deleted the links on my posts and privated the work, as I do not want anyone else to get possibly harmed.
2) Filk
I was informed my never written fic was discussed in the discord as well with a completely incorrect premise and I would like to mention the idea to give people more insight into what it actually is supposed to be, despite the fact that it was never actually written.
Filk (Fernator's milk) is based on a joke someone made from another fic of mine, "Bon appetit 1.5 - Chicken soup is served " where Stanley buys milk and pickles, and we called it pilk. Somebody made a joke that this is like a pregnancy craving and I decided that that would make a funny CRACK fic premise. Again, I never have written this fic, and the only place it ever existed was in a series of messages in a private discord.
The whole point of crack fics is that it has a stupid premise. In here, it was one of my Narrator's, Fernator, telling Stanley he would make him pregnant. I know that this sounds like the problem, but that was just a premise.
What really happens in the fic is that Fernator tells Stanley about human reproduction but after that, the majority of the fic is a sfw adventure on how viruses, bacteria, and plants reproduce.
With bacteria, Stanley just gets copied, with viruses, Fernator creates a computer virus and it doesn't work so they move on, and with plant, the title filk comes in which is milk with fern spores in it. It ends up just in Stanley's foot. The end goal was for them to just get the cutout Baby as their child and then, the main fic that I talked about would end. After a while, they would realise they didn't really succeed and would try to make something, pouring filk onto Fernator and creating Pickle Rick.
The accusations of this being a non con confuse me as Stanley is happy to be brought onto this journey and there are no actual sexual activities involved in this not written project.
3) Art with minor
One person was very supportive of one of my Narrators, Jester (they drew him a bit), and even started to call him their husband. Since they're my friend, I wanted to make them happy, so I drew something I deemed wholesome and platonic. They also took my drawing this way.
In my eyes at the time, when I made the art, I never thought of this 'ship' as anything other than admiration for a design.
However, that context got lost when they reposted my art on that server with my permission.
I now see how people could think otherwise and I will be far more wary about this topic in the future.
However, while the announcement didn't use the exact word 'groomer', it highly implied it. I feel wronged for that as I received a lot of harassment in my direct messages.
I would like a statement and an apology from the announcers because their words caused a lot of harm.
4) Conclusion
I want to finish this off with being honest about the mistakes I've made of not properly checking sfw spaces - which started all this - and talking about suggestive matters within them. The fanfiction link was certainly a slip up but I will be more careful in the future of what I post.
However - I also want to say that it's not okay to harass people who got involved in this.
I myself have received false accusations already and seen my work be misinterpreted. I only learnt about this through buds giving me a notice and I do ask, if a similar situation would ever occur, which I don't plan on, to message me directly first about my mistake.
In the future, I will remember to double check where I discuss my fic ideas and I'll do everything in my power for this situation not to repeat.
Thank you for reading.
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Smallville 5x06
"How you ever had a crush on Richie Cunningham, I will never understand."
I'm actually so easy to please
"And Lois... *laughs* I'd do anything to get rid of Lois."
but thinking about how annoying she is makes him laugh, soooooo... she's a good influence, I rest my case😌😌
Jonathan knows too, like-
Chloe & Lois as an investigative duo are actually really fun
Lex really lives in Jonathan's head rent free💀💀
ohmygoooooddd
MOTHER.
"She's here to dance."
Chloe really threw Lois under the bus like that I'm cryingsjakjsha
the struggle is real💀
SOOOOO let's see if Jonathan actually apologizes when it turns out Lex didn't do anything
CLARKFNKLJFDISLYS
COVER YOUR EYES SWEET SUMMER CHILD
Lois x bisexual lighting I LIVEEEE
they did that for me😭😌
"I'll have a coke😇" ... "S- straight up, on the rocks.😤"
JAkhsshfdlskaBOOBOO WHAT ARE YOU-
I just choked on my ice cream
LMAOOOOOO bless his heart
THE STRUGGLE IS REAL PART 2 I'M CRYINDHSGFJFKD
I'm really not ready for what's about to go down here😭😭
🎶DON'T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKEEE MEEEEEEE🎶
Someone needs to go to jail for that music choice💀💀
TOM WELLING YOUR FACE JOURNEYS. LET ME SAY THANK YOU KING🙇♀️
this is history in the making. absolutely iconic.
🎶DON'T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS WRONG LIKE MEEEEEE🎶🎶
i do wish she was my girlfriend actually they're so right
aaand she's getting into it
ON MY FUCKING KNEES FOR HER MA'AM YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE PLEASEEEE
he's kind of giving me:
PLEASEWSWKRJWOPQP
EVERY SINGLE FRAME OF THIS IS SO FUCKING ICONIC LIKE WHAT DO I EVEN SAY??
it's okay bb, we're all looking respectfully right now
💀💀💀THE STRUGGLE IS REAL PT.3
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP THIS BEAN
kshadjwka his fight or flight is kicking in😭😭
"What are you doing here?" "What are YOU doing here?"
story of their life fr
the struggle has never been more real, pray for Clark💀
.
they did that.
smallville writers really did that.
legend behaviour if you ask me
i would like to take this moment and say thank you.
"I've never been in a position where people look up to me."
This is such a silly statement, Jonathan is literally the person Clark looks up to the most. His bigger personality flaws clearly come from Jonathan's influence💀 (not to say he didn't also learn a lot of good traits from him -he absolutely did- but you know)
I'm really curious what Lex's (and Jonathan's) politics are actually, don't be shy writers tell me👀
SIR I NEED YOU TO STEP AWAY FROM MY WIFE IMMEDIATELY
creepy mf
"Hey 007. Nice of you to show up." "I'll start assuming that means thank you?"
giggling kicking my feet
"I can't touch him." "Well, I can."
I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, MOTHERRRR
pls his face😭
he knows he could never be as cool as her
THIS SHOT MAKES ME FERAL
my parents🥹
(listen the shit i went through to upload this last picture tho, i hit the upload limit and had to delete stuff, then i accidentally deleted the whole post for a second🤡 my whole life flashed before my eyes💀💀)
Lex talking about a guy falling in love with his best friend's wife uh oh, no thank youuuuu😬😬
He was making a good point though.
"The thing I always try to remember is, no matter how much le lays on, he never expects more than he expects from himself."
Clark really grew up didn't he😭😭
"What are you doing, you just moved back in."
from the guy who said "I'd do anything to get of Lois." at the beginning of the episode, what in the clownery🤡🤡
All men do is lie.
she's such a menace, I LOVE HER😭😭
AND HE CAN'T STAY MAD AT HER LOOK AT HIS FACEEEEE
they're secret bffs your honor😭
I LOVE THEMMM IT'S ACTUALLY SO SERIOUS
"And you didn't have to come after me but you always do. So I wanted to say thank you. You're a really good friend."
GOING INSANE ON THIS SATURDAY NIGHT
CUT IT OUT YOU ASSHOLES I'M TRYING TO STAY NORMAL UNTIL SEASON 8 QUIT EYE FUCKINGZFGDUWEOAK
well. stay normal challenge failed again but that's exactly how i thought this would go, sooo
Question for the people: should i even tag Lex in posts like this? I don't think twice about tagging characters like Jonathan because I don't expect fans to look through his tag for him specifically, but i know people do it with Lex and I feel bad at the thought of them having to scroll through me losing my mind over Clois with a few Lex mentions in between. Lex fans lemme know
#smallville#5x06#clark kent#lois lane#clois#jonathan kent#chloe sullivan#ellie's smallville thoughts#lex luthor
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My pal!!!!!! My friend!!!!!!! I'd like to tell you a beautiful little secret!!!!!! You want to know what that.....
Domesticabuseshipping is dead you genwunners!!!!!!!!!
Amourshipping is canon losers!!!!!
Ah man. Normally I would just delete this and go on with my day, as I am a whole ass adult with like, a husband and child and career and mortgage and shit, and I haven’t seen childish fandom bullshit like this since literally the 1990’s, and I have better, more important things to do with my life and you are just going to respond to this with the same repeated thing over and over again.
But luckily for you, said career is actually a kindergarten teacher, so I like working with sad and upset children.
Because honestly? I think that’s what this is all about. I think you are sad and mad and upset about how Serena’s character was wrapped up on the anime, and I think you have every right to feel that way.
I’m not a Serena fan, myself, but I have no ill feelings towards those who are. Love what you love, I say! I actually couldn’t get into the BW or XY anime, just not my thing, but I did start rewatching again at Sun Moon, and I can absolutely see why a Serena fan would be frustrated at how they ended things for her. Literally all the other traveling companions (save for May and Max, for obvious reasons with May’s Japanese VA) had a more significant wrap up with Ash than she did in the last season.
Misty and Brock both got the whole Aim to be a Pokemon Master thing, Dawn came back to watch Ash complete during the World Coronation and cheer him on, Iris was IN the World Coronation thing as a gd champion!!
Serena got an episode, and she didn’t even interact with Ash in it hardly at all. She spent the whole time with Chloe, and only saw him in passing when he walked past her to get on the boat at the very end. There was no blushing, no love confessions, neither the kiss nor Sarena were eeever talked about again. She got a non speaking cameo watching him against Leon along with the others and that was it. I have my own opinions as to why the writers did that, but that is neither here nor there, that’ll be a post on it’s own.
But that’s frustrating! I totally get that! She was the only traveling companion to kiss Ash, surely that means something and she’ll be brought back or brought up and she and Ash will be together forever!
But nope, pokemon isn’t that kind of anime. It and Ash’s journey ended with just him and Pikachu running off into the sunset, with Gary, if we’re being honest, as probably the most significant human to him in the end (as it should be, my old ass genwonner heart LOVES how Gary was there at the end living in Ash’s head rent free lol).
So I do get why you are upset and lashing out. I think it’s dumb and immature and annoying, but I get it.
My parting wish for you is hope that you’ll realize that literally no Ash ship is canon; his time in the anime is done and he ended up with no one, and that is simply okay because it’s pokemon and romance in that show has literally never been the point. I hope you keep on loving your favorite characters and ships and that you let everyone else enjoy their’s.
Buuuut let’s be honest, I know that you are just going to ignore everything I wrote and keep doing this same shit, but it was worth a shot, right? :P
I hope you have the day you deserve. <3
#car's musings#pokemon#amourshipping#pokeshipping#pokeani#amourshippers can you guys take care of this friend please? Ty <3#all other interactions with this individual shall be deleted and ignored as I have a life to live lol
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I've Come To Make An Announcement
Shadow the Hedgehog is a bi-no I'm just kidding lol
Just popping in to give you all an update! I'm doing a little bit better now. I had a rough day yesterday but today's been pretty good! (I did get jumpscared by a giant spider while cooking but aside from that lol!)
Now onto the big thing.
As you know, I've been taking a break for the last few days so I can really think about what I'd like to do going forward in regards to my writing and art. I want to feel better about my work and develop more confidence in myself as an artist. In order to do that, I have to clear a blank slate and start fresh. So sometime within the next week or two, I'll be deleting all my old posts from this blog.
Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere! I have way too much fun with you guys to leave. And it's not like I hate my old work, either. Sure, I cringe sometimes, but I also know I was at a different point in my journey as an artist. But every journey has to end at some point, and I've reached the end of the path I've been traveling. I'm ready to try a new one. (That probably sounded incredibly corny but you know what I mean LMAO /lh)
Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks so much for sticking with me all these years! I appreciate each and every one of you, and I hope you'll come along with me on my next art journey!
(By the way, if you ever did want to see any of my old art for whatever reason, most of it is uploaded on my Toyhouse!)
#rai says stuff#I'll still be active btw!#like I said I'm not going anywhere!#also don't worry there WILL be more marshadow art I can guarantee you that much LMAO
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2023 art summary + thoughts on my own art progress under the cut!!
(template by HedgeCatDragonix on deviantart)
so i've been doing this for 10 years :P
i'm not posting these pics in high quality, they're somewhere on the internet if you want to scavenge for a bit. i didn't start taking art seriously until late 2015 and i honestly don't like looking back at old drawings. i still like my 2022 art summary but it wasn't until this year that i'm proud of all my finished artworks.
my art journey is complicated. i'm not one of those artists who can say they've been drawing for all their lifes. i used to trace pokémon in my school agendas but that was it. around 2013, a couple of friends invited me to their Skype server where we used to draw each other's ocs and make art memes and stuff - it was fun and cringe in the most positive way i can say it :] i didn't know shit about art and i took pride in drawing on MS Paint with a mouse just because it was hard.
(all of my drawings until may 2018 were made with a mouse)
when i was 15 yo i got into Love Live! and i decided to get better at art because i didn't want lesbian fanart to be made only by creepy cishet men. at some point i watched this video from Sycra and it rewired my brain. i understood that i needed to actually practise and understand what i was doing, and that i wasn't going to improve just by observing. its follow-up video also helped me a lot, i remember watching it on the day it was posted jskhfdjdfd.
and so fast forward until 2021 approx. i spent all of those years practising drawing in my traditional sketchbooks, so my improvement was steady. the only problem, and in retrospective i see it as a Big Problem, is that i was grinding mindlessly. by that i mean that i copied artists i liked and i drew again and again stuff i was bad at, but i didn't think too deeply about it or analysed my own art to look for faster ways to improve it. i also don't take feedback well so i didn't ask for it either, which further slowed down my progress.
on top of it, that just made me better at drawing, not at illustration. i firmly believe that a good drawing is hard to ruin but i could have made my illustrations way more interesting if i had started going wild with colors and effects way earlier. i don't exactly regret my choices because at the end of the day it's just my hobby, and i've been praised for drawing a lot and for challenging myself to practise drawing traditionally, so i want this to be read as introspection rather than complaints!!
the reason why 2021 was a big change in my art is because in november i did this monstrosity:
i got an Android tablet to be able to draw in class and took the challenge alongside my friend Nico, who also did their own Huevember. hola si estás leyendo esto Nico, aunque lo dudo :) i can't say that any of the drawings made me better at anatomy, or composition, or colors. i can't say that they solidified my knowledge, either. but they planted a seed in my brain that would fully bloom in late 2022, which is the seed of hating the finished result of some pieces so much that i forced myself to improve.
everyone has their own motivation to get better at art and i've always thought that mine was a healthy one (i want to draw more lesbians, that's all). however, i've had a very solid 2023 and now i don't cringe at any of my pieces, plus i can notice any mistakes they have without wanting to delete them from existence - and i could only get there because at the end of 2022 i told myself i wouldn't make any more ugly illustrations. like, period. i didn't want to get anxious every time i had to look back on my own art.
i also learned that no ammount of compliments from others would magically make me like a piece i see as mid at best. of course, i appreciate every single nice comment i get (genuinely, i get very happy knowing that other people love my work), but gratitude doesn't fix a skill issue.
so, late 2022, many things happened. first i got cancelled on twitter over a drawing of my beloved mizuki from project sekai (this info will be relevant later). then i spent a whole month doing this other monstrosity that is to this day the best thing i've ever done. i haven't peaked it (yet):
this comic actually made me improve and solidify my skills. it wasn't a class assignment, or a collaboration, or anything more than a headcanon i shared with a friend - it was pure brainrot over Revue Starlight and it made me put all my cunt into it. this was also the point at which i started filling in blacks with the bucket tool instead of picking a very dark color, which is a big part of my current style :3
the thing about people cancelling me is that i had to distance myself from fandoms and eventually change accunts, which also affected how i perceived my own art. even if i draw for myself, at the end of the day i still draw characters that are loved by many people, so i disabled comments and stopped interacting with other artists of my fandom circles. that led me to go on hiatus at the start of 2023, knowing that it was time for a fresh start (my art accounts were 5 years old anyway).
that period of time made me think a lot about my finished pieces. since i wouldn't post them until i had a new account, i would stare at them for longer than ever or make small changes even if days had already passed. letting my mind rest from illustrations i had been working on and knowing i could change them whenever i wanted was a big step forward.
i realised that for the past years i had been in a hurry to post my drawings as soon as i was done with them instead of appreciating them. that was a turning point for my mindset. this was also past the time i decided to stop making ugly art, but i hadn't really taken any measures to get better. so i changed the wording of the challenge: i can make ugly art but i can't post it if i don't like it.
it doesn't sound epic, but for some reason it worked. every time i was in the middle of making a drawing that looked kind of ugly, i changed it until it looked right. not perfect, but good enough to avoid cringing in the future. some times i had to redraw it from scratch with a more interesting pose. some times i needed to add a background or a graphic element to make the characters pop. and somewhere on that period, i went wild with colors and effects, and a lot of times that saved a piece that would otherwise be boring.
i have to thank Revolutionary Girl Utena and Revue Starlight for making me experiment a lot during my hiatus. both pieces of media, one being the daugher of the other, give artists so many visual metaphors and interesting topics to work with. the revstar brainrot had been there since the junnana comic, but rgu was something i had been meaning to rewatch for a couple of years and it hit me like a fucking train. it also made me create one of the comics i'm the most proud about:
then i got into homestuck and my art got. well. stuck!! >D< but it was okay because i wasn't making ugly drawings anymore. i was putting into practise a lot of things i had been learning or experimenting with, especially regarding colors and character interactions. and the yuri was delicious hmmmmmmm.
the rest of 2023 was very linear in terms of art but not so much in terms of fandoms (?). which is fine, honestly, but i was also glad to get back into Fire Emblem: Three Houses in late that year because when i first got into it in 2019 i didn't have the skill to draw everything i wanted to draw. and i still haven't drawn all the yuri scenarios that i've been cooking in my mind, but i have until forever to do it!!
so for 2024 i want to study some stuff i feel i'm still lacking in. i think i've always had a good eye for composition, but i've never actually pushed it in my finished illustrations - they depend a lot on the poses because i've always been prioritising drawing over everything else. that needs to change this year.
i also want to get better at drawing characters from extreme angles. i've always felt like my poses are a bit flat and i think i can study photos taken with wide angle lenses to improve at that.
and of course i still want to draw faster, which is something i've always struggled with. i think i have a good rhythm of "producing" art (excuse me for the poor wording), but i'm still too slow for the kind of artstyle i want to achieve, which includes having a looser lineart and less details in irrelevant areas of the drawings. i think that overdoing the lineart actually hurts my illustrations, because everything ends up pulling the viewer's attention with the same energy. i also think messy artstyles are neat.
i promise i'm not crazy and i don't hate what i do. in fact, it's precisely because this year i managed to make some pieces with that kind of feel that i know where i want to aim. special mention to the junnana comic because i haven't been able to replicate that lineart ever since.
examples:
as for the stuff i like about my current artstyle, i definitely want to keep the way i color!! and by that i mean the method i have for applying filters that make my colors pop. i could maybe play more with textures too.
i also like the way i depict intimacy, and people have praised it too. thank you for noticing. it's the yearning that's doing it, not me. but i don't think i'll ever change the content (?) of my art, i eat breathe and speak in yuri. if anything, there are still some ways of conveying feelings that i haven't been able to draw because i lack the skill to do so, but i'll keep trying ;)
i honestly didn't expect this post to be this long. i've been writing for hours now and i'm not sure my thoughts are coherent for anyone that isn't me. i also can't grasp the idea that some people know me from fanart i did in 2016 while others started following me last month, time is wild and it's an extra dimension of complexity that i don't know how to account for when i write stuff like this.
but again, as i do with art, i've written this for myself. it's been nice to put my thoughts in order. i think i've only talked about art in depth with like 5 people and it's always been in casual conversation. no creo que estéis leyendo pero Nahia y Henar os amo y he aprendido mucho de vosotras.
thank you for reading until the end if you have. i hope you have not only a nice day but a nice year. let's meet again in the future.
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