#at least. they need someone there to tell them to not write them Like That. please.

[moody-alcoholic]

I wanted to write something Ghoap related. Why not continue this weird hurt/ angst kick I've been on.

CW: attempted date rape, non-con drugging, alcohol, violence, blood.

A guy in a bar attempts to 'pick you up' the best boys Johnny & Simon come to the rescue.

Merry Christmas/ happy holidays. <3

You’re mad, she said she wouldn’t do this again, leave you alone at a bar while she went home with some stranger. But here you are yet again alone finishing on your 4th? 5th? drink. Who cares, you signal the bartender over for another. 

The fresh gin and tonic went down like a treat numbing your anger and making you relax. You pull your phone out getting ready to send her a long 'fuck you' message. You’ve only just started typing when someone comes up on the stool next to you. 

“Hey, can I buy you a drink?” You frown looking up at him. He’s cute black hair, nice casual suit, kind of gives you a sleazy salesman vibe. 

“I’m good, thanks.” You say going back to the text. 

“C’mon, what is it, vodka tonic?” He asks, you look back over at him almost rolling your eyes. He’s not that bad looking. You sigh, not responding for a second. You don’t want to have to owe this guy. ‘It’s just a drink’ your drunken brain tells you ‘don’t turn down a free drink.’ 

“Gin and tonic.” You correct him. He smiles, waving the bartender over. You finish your short angry text to your friend and put your phone back in your bag. 

“I saw your friend leave earlier.” He says paying for the drinks. You pick yours up and he signals for you to cheers with him. You clink your glasses together before taking a sip. 

“Yeah, she went off with some guy.” You say a little more bitter than you wanted to.

“Shit, think she’ll be coming back?” He asks, sipping his drink, coke and something.

“No fucking clue. Probably not.” You sigh. 

“Shame, at least the drinks are cheap.” he jokes. You smile at him, getting a better look at him. He’s skinny, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. 

“So you from round here or not?” 

“No, only here to see my friend. It's her birthday tomorrow.” You say. 

“Wow so she ditches you the day before her birthday for some twink?” He chuckles. 

“Yeah.” You scoff, he was a twink. There’s the sound of a crash behind you, a woman screaming. It pulls your attention as you look at the commotion playing out behind you. Two men are squaring up to each other with smashed glasses on the floor. It’s not long before security are running over them, pulling them apart.

The incident has your blood pumping and adrenaline rushing through you. You look back picking up your drink and finishing it off to quell your nerves. 

That’s it you’ve had your last drink you should go home. 

“Thanks for the drink.” you say to him as you jump off the stool. 

“Leaving already?” He asks. You nod. He reaches out and grabs your arm. It makes you uncomfortable and you freeze.

"Yeah. I have to get back to my hotel.” Shit, you shouldn’t have told him that. 

“Oh, I can walk you if you want?” He asks. 

“No, thank you but I'm okay.” You pull your arm out his grip walking away. The adrenaline from the drunken fight is still pulsing through your body. 

“Well take it easy.” He says as you walk away, you turn back, smile and nod at him as you leave. 

There is still a line outside to get back into the club as you leave it must not be that late. You pull your phone out to check where you need to go. You’re not used to the busy London streets. You must have drank the last 2 drinks a little too fast as your head feels particularly foggy. 

You’re turning down streets using your phone’s maps app to guide you. Your mouth goes suddenly dry, your head swimming more than normal. You sway all of a sudden feeling unsteady on your feet. You stop looking at your phone looking ahead of you trying to regain your balance. 

It doesn’t help and you lean up against a sign at the corner of the street. Maybe you’re going to be sick, you drank the drinks too quickly and now you’re going to pay for it. 

You retch but nothing comes out, your throat feels dry, your head swims as your legs give way. You fall to your knees. Panic comes over you, this is not a good place to be doing this. 

You curse under your breath, you’ve clearly had way too much to drink. 

Hands land on your shoulders, the grip is strong then the hands slip under your armpits. The person pulls you to your feet, you try to talk but it just comes off as a slur as your body is pulled into a private parking area behind some bins. 

You’re not sure what’s going on, your vision is fuzzy, your breathing picks up. You can feel someone trying to pull your jacket off you, maybe you’re being robbed.  You try to talk again but nothing comes out. You try to grip your jacket to pull it back on you but whoever it is, is stronger than you. 

You feel someone grip the waistband of your jeans. Panic overwhelms you, you get enough energy to push the person off you. It doesn’t last long before there is a sharp pain on your face. You yelp as your face stings.

“Stay. Still.” A voice says through gritted teeth. You whine trying to build up srength again but nothing happens. 

Silent tears run down your face. You hate this, you hate what’s happening. Your head is swimming, you close your eyes still fighting with the hands on your waist. Suddenly the person is gone, your body falls to the floor slumping against the industrial bin. 

New hands land on you pulling your jacket back around you. You try to push them off but they grab your wrists.

“Hey lass, it’s okay, you’re okay.” You don’t know what accent that is but it’s not English, maybe he’s Irish?

“Take it easy, what's your name?”  He asks, you stop fighting, looking up at him. He’s tall even though he’s crouched down in front of you. He has a mohawk, and even in the dark you can see his deep blue eyes. You’re not going to tell him your name. You stay silent.

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me. We’re going to get you somewhere safe okay?” 

We’re?

You look past him, you can see another hulking figure holding someone up by their collar. You see fist meet skin, it makes you gasp. The man-Johnny-pulls your attention back to him. 

“How you feeling? You look a little worse for wear, think you can walk?” He asks. You nod and he helps you to your feet. You sway against him but he supports you holding you up as you walk out the parking alcove. 

There’s another man, and one on the floor groaning. You see blood, you can smell it in the air. More hands are on you now. You look up at the tall man standing next to you. You feel sick, your head throbbing, your vision blurring. Your legs give way again as your arms start to tingle. 

“C’mon lass, can you hear us?” The dark haired man says as you collapse fully to the ground. 

“Yes,” You try to say but it just comes out as a slur, it’s barely English. You don’t care, you suck in one last breath of air before everything goes black.

[ode-to-fury]

You know, in any other piece of media I would never advise this but specifically in datv case I think the game really could have benefitted from acknowledging the problems with the writing more. I think a lot of people may disagree with me and I don't know if I really know how I want to say this but if you just... acknowledge things that are in the game with a little bit of nuance? Like the Veil dilemma. I wish the veil had come down because the whole southern blight thing really makes the veil not coming down obsolete. We were trying not to kill thousands of people but thousands of people died anyway so whats the difference? You're just shifting the blame from solas onto rook but they dont ever aknowledge that in the game? Let Rook have one line about it being their fault that the gods are out ADDRESS THAT IN THE FUCKING REGRET PRISON. Let the game say "ok maybe tearing down the veil isnt what we want to happen but there are real and serious reasons that solas may want to persue this course of action" instead of being like "haha solas is so dumb and stupid and evil and of course we are in the right" because if you think about it? Not bringing down the veil means the spirits are still getting the short end of the stick. This was set out in inquisition? Just admit that you said that and dont try and change it? Or the blight. If you don't know what happens to the blight post game, just say so? Have a line where someone says "we dont know whats going to happen with the blight now that the evanuris are gone" and then you can leave it to fan interpretation or future games but at least theres something there telling me you thought about it and havent FORGOTTEN WHAT THE CALLING MEANS (because my definition of the calling and john eplers definition are two extremely different things and his is wrong). The crows, you need one line of dialogue to fix the crows. And not even pc dialogue, it can be ambient. Give me something. Give me a line. I understand there were budget and time restrictions, but if you just acknowledge that there's things you couldn't expand on as much as you wanted to instead of treating the player like they should know to make it up in their head or treating them like they're stupid for caring, it would already be better.

[chrysanthemumgames]

I have a perhaps personal ask, and at the same time struggling with how to phrase it. I've been looking into making an interactive story myself, however, I... cannot code. For the life of me. I can tell one hell of a story, but coding it beyond my grasp, and the system I currently use, while it ought to be simple enough even someone like me could do so, isn't exactly working for how I want it to. Do you perhaps know anything anywhere that I might start looking for someone who would be willing to work with me? I am so sorry if this is a bothersome ask.

Hi anon!

I'm probably not the best person for advice on this, because I've never been in that situation before. I've put some thoughts under the cut, with the caveat that only a small portion of them actually address the question you've asked, with the majority being related but perhaps not helpful for you, depending.

So, I think where you'd go to find a coding person depends on what language you're using. If it's ChoiceScript, probably the forums. If it's Twine... I honestly don't know. Maybe the subreddit, though you'll want to double-check that such requests are not against the rules there.

I sincerely doubt you'll have an easy time finding someone, though. Most folks who code in the systems used for IF are IF authors who taught themselves the coding techniques in order to tell their own stories, not someone else's.

That said, and this is the part you can ignore, because you know yourself better than I do, but... I'm pretty sure you can learn to code. It's not easy, necessarily, and it doesn't come intuitively to everyone, but there are resources out there to help you. Again, this will depend on what system you're using, but the CS forums are very useful for figuring out CS (as is the wiki, once you know enough to parse it). For Twine, there are loads of archived posts on their forums and on the subreddit for specific questions, but for general ones, the documentation for your preferred program (e.g. SugarCube), the Twine Cookbook, and similar resources will break things down into smaller, more digestible chunks. I personally recommend the Twine Grimoire (volumes 1 and 2), for basic interface aesthetics, once you get to that point.

Here on tumblr, @/nyhelism, @/cerberus-writes, @/manonamora-if, @/idrellegames, and others have all answered questions about Twine coding or even in some cases made templates that take a lot of the work out of it. Most have a masterpost regarding things they've answered about Twine or made for others' use, but be sure to check that they're currently accepting coding questions before sending them any, of course.

Learning to code may be slow and incremental, and lots of people manage better if they start with a small project just to learn how to do the basic things in their language of choice. I'd really recommend figuring out what you need your game to be able to do, and learning those functions one by one—it's less overwhelming than trying to tackle everything at once while also writing a huge project.

If all else fails, my most esoteric suggestion is to familiarize yourself with the basic principles of symbolic logic. I took a class in it as part of my degree, and have since also taught that class, and I think understanding things like the logic of conditionals (if statements) as they're used in coding (rather than natural language) really gave me a leg up in learning to code. Not that I'm an expert, but I know enough to make a basic game, at least.

Most (all?) of these things should be findable with a google search; I know there are at least some Twine tutorials on youtube as well, though I'm unsure of CS or any of the languages I'm less familiar with, like Ink, etc.

I do apologize that the section where I encourage you to do the thing you don't think you can do is longer than the one where I answered your actual question, but that's the part I might actually have something useful to say about. If you're absolutely certain you can't do it, I'm sorry for banging on about it, but if you're not sure or on the fence, maybe give it another go before trying to find another person. I've seen a lot of writers looking for coders in the past, but maybe only once was a coder offering their services to writers (and that was a long time ago).

[titi-1188]

Always in your corner

“You know that Chan would truly always be in your corner and you hope he knows you’ll always be in his. Neither of you asked to be born to parents who had no care in the world but at least the two of you had each other.”

—

WARNINGS: Parents who don’t care(?)

PAIRING: Older Brother Chan x Younger Sibling Reader

WORD COUNT: 2.1K+

EXTRA INFO: Angst(?)/comfort, Christmas, Cringy Frozen reference, Life Advice from Older Brother, ‘Baby’ used as a term on endearment in a ‘omg you’re literally a baby’ way. SAFE FOR WORK ONLY!!!

A/N: Happy Christmas to those who celebrate and in general Happy Holidays to all!! As always, sorry for any mistakes, my english writing skills are NOT the best, I try to look over it and make sure everything makes sense to an outsider perspective of someone who ISN’T in my head but yk how it can be🩷 hehe i hope u like it!!! (can u tell what kind of issues I may have…)

Every Christmas since Chan started college whenever he’d come back, you’d be there, ready to greet him with a hug and some sort of small ‘welcome home’ gift. Christmas was probably the only time in the year year you got to see each other with how busy you both were; you being in high school and Chan attending college, working his ass off to get his degree. You and your brother couldn’t even see each other during the summer holidays-your parents sent you off on exchanges to other countries, so far, you’ve been to Spain, France and Italy (twice), and your other breaks from school just never lined up. Safe to say Christmas was like a blessing. An opportunity for two siblings to reunite.

So, this year when Chan got out of your dad’s car after a very awkward three hour long ride from the airport and walked into the house and wasn’t met with you he was surprised, disappointed even.

“Where is she?”, he asked as your mother came out of the living room. She rolled her eyes as if the mere question was a bother and replied simply

“Probably moping around in her bedroom again”. Chan frowned. You? Moping around? That didn’t sound like you. “What do you mean?”, he questioned.

“Your sister is just going through an emotional phase—but honestly she needs to get over it, at her age she should be able to just get up and move through it.”, your father spoke up and Chan watched in mild disgust as your mother nodded along.

Your parents made it abundantly clear before that they never wanted kids and yet somehow ended up with the two of you because of societal pressure but at least years ago they would at least pretend to be concerned parents. Now that Chan was a young adult and moved out and you were a teenager they probably didn’t see the need to.

“I’m going to go up then”, he announces. Your parents shrug, mumbling a quick ‘do whatever’ before retreating back into the living room.

Meanwhile, Chan hauled his suitcase and bag up the stairs, dropped them off into his room (that definitely needs to be dusted down) and went to your room at the end of the hall, on the right. He smiled seeing the pink, bedazzled wooden sign on the door to your room with your name on it—he remembers watching you make it all those years ago and likes to see you haven’t taken it down yet.

In Chan’s head, you’re not just a regular set of siblings, although he only is almost seven years older than you, he always felt an almost paternal instinct with you.

He had a huge part in raising you and as much as he hates to admit it for purposes of being too sappy and cringe—he hates that you are growing up so quick. He sometimes wishes you were a kid again and often finds himself reminiscing all the tea-parties he was forced to attend, all the times he’s sat over you helping you with simple maths sums while he had an essay to do, all the extravagant games you two used to make up as something to do while your parents were working.

God he misses it. And he would pay so much money to get to relive it, because even without the regular caring parents who are involved in their child's life-watching you grow up all over again would be worth so much more.

Chan snaps out of his thoughts and regains his composure before knocking on the door gently.

“Y/N, it’s me—can I come in?”. He’s about to open the door and enter when it opens in his face, and there you are, wearing a comfy set of clothes.

Chan takes your appearance in and notices immediately that you look…not like you. The light that normally shines in your eyes is dimmed, there are bags under your eyes and your normally well kept hair is disheveled.

“Y/N…”, he starts but you cut him off with a hug.

“Channie”, you murmur in a soft voice. “I’m sorry I wasn’t ready this year.”

Oh the way you sound so defeated breaks his heart. “Y/N baby—it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

“I swear I knew when dad was picking you up and I had everything planned and stuff and then I got distracted and everything I planned just went out the window-”

“Y/N. It’s fine.”, Chan reassured, pulling back from the hug but keeping a firm hold on your shoulders. “Let’s talk?”

You nod at him and let him into your room, closing the door behind him. He flops down onto your bed and pats the spot beside him. “Come on over”.

You don’t hesitate and take your spot next to your brother. Words can’t describe how grateful you are that you’re not the only child in this fucked up family and that Chan is here. Every christmas is a blessing in your eyes because he’s here, a family member who cares.

His arm wraps around your shoulder and he pulls you in closer to him, pushing your head down to rest on his chest. “There, just like when you were a baby”.

“You mean a kid?”

“Fine, just like when you were a kid”, he states again, although in his head you will always be a ‘baby’.

“Oh please, when I was a kid you were just a teenager”, you scoff but don’t make the effort to move.

“Yeah but you still clung to me like a koala, so my point still stands.”

“Okay fine..”

“You’re still clingy”, he teases, when you don’t give your usual sarcastic response he clears his throat and starts speaking in a softer, more serious tone. “Mom said you’re ’moping around’..wanna tell me about that?”

“Things have just been…utter shit”, you respond simply.

“Utter shit?”, he questions, prompting you to further explain as he starts to run his fingers through your, messy, hair.

“I just…I feel like I’m stuck in time. Everyone else around me is moving on and I’m stuck in this spot. All my friends are starting to go to all sorts of house parties and get drunk off their heads, in school they keep shoving down future career paths down our throats and in general there’s just more and more work to be done ever single day...even mom and dad are talking about having me move out soon since technically it’s legal for me to move out after I turn sixteen��but I’m just, I don’t want to do any of that. I want to just be a kid for a little longer. In my head I’m still like eleven or like twelve—I’m not ready for all of this, I don’t want to be ready for all of this!”, you start rambling, your words flowing out quickly, as if you’ve been waiting to say all of this to someone.

“I see”, Chan responds. “I think…and hear me out, I think you’re just craving a normal childhood-one where you weren’t basically left to fend for yourself.”

You nod and he feels it’s safe to continue.

“You don’t want to grow up because you already feel like you have been at a higher maturity level since you were learning your ABC’s..”.

“How do you know exactly how to put this into simple words?”

“Because I know exactly how you feel. You know, I suppose when you were born I not only had to fend for myself, but also for you—and I do not hold it against you Y/N, you are the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I think if I was an only child in this family I would’ve gone insane.” You both giggle at his words but you both know he’s right. You know especially now in his absence that living in this house by yourself is not a nurturing and caring environment.

Chan continues speaking, “So you could say that from a young age I was acting like I was in my 30’s, taking care of myself, you, teaching you life lessons while learning them myself..and when it came to actually being a grown up..I didn’t want to do it because I felt like I already have been doing it. I wanted to just be able to I don’t know…play around with fucking legos or just go to the beach and build as many sandcastles as I desire, I wanted to reverse time and somehow get our parents to care for us and give the both of us the childhood we deserve. I still want that. I still wish that there was a switch I could flip and suddenly they’ll be asking more than the ‘required’ mundane questions…but…”, he trails off with a sigh.

“…That can’t happen”, you say. “Mhm, it can’t. So, trust me when I say that I understand how you feel.”

“How did you get over it?”, you ask.

“Well..it does turn out that adult life is a bit more complicated so I had to figure that out..but to heal my inner child..I did exactly what I wanted to, I realised that because I was an adult, no one could actually stop me from building sandcastles at the beach, or spending my first entire real pay check on all the lego sets I wanted and building them all”.

“Did it help?”

“Honestly, yeah. I gave myself what our parents couldn’t..or well wouldn’t and I felt much better about myself.” He pokes your arm, laughing a bit “Just don’t spend your first entire pay check on lego. I’ll teach you how to be smarter with money.”

“I feel bad you have to teach me these things.”

“Don’t. I want to.”, Chan replies. “The only reason I didn’t completely cut contact with mom and dad after I moved out was so I could see you like this, so I could continue to parent you because..you have so much potential Y/N..and our parents don’t provide you with an environment to encourage that kind of growth, they just want you to grow up and move out so they can be at peace, but I want you to thrive. I want you to be prepared and ready for whatever life throws at you. I want to encourage you in everything. I just want to help you. Make sure you have it better than anyone else..”. Chan’s words make you feel a pang in your chest, you close your eyes and slow your breathing, feeling his heartbeat as his fingers comb through your hair.

“Obviously, since you seem to be so nervous, I’ll tune my coaching down to a slower place, we can take this one small step at a time”.

“Thank you Channie. Really.”, you reply. “Mom and dad are no help at all…like no help. They just want me out of here.”

“I know…but it’s okay, you’ll figure yourself out, you’ll figure out what you want to do with your life, in your own time and I’ll be here in your corner supporting you every step of the way and teaching you things and well…everything I already said”, Chan reassures, patting your arm.

“Now…what if…we go and build a snowman or something?”, he suggests.

“A snowman?”, you laugh and sit up, meeting his eyes.

“What? It’ll be fun! I promise!”, Chan exclaims, “Come on don’t be a loser! Just come build a snowman with me!!”

“What you need me to sing it for you??”, he clears his throat. “Do you want to build a snowman? Come on let’s go and play-“

It’s only when you start laughing he does too. God when Frozen came out you both went through a terrible phase where you were obsessed with the movie..and when the second one came out god it all came back again.

“Okay Anna—let’s go build a snowman”.

That’s how your day ends. The two of you building multiple snowmen in the green in your estate (while your parents sat inside, oblivious to what their kids are doing). And honestly, you wouldn’t have traded it for the world.

You know that Chan would truly always be in your corner and you hope he knows you’ll always be in his. Neither of you asked to be born to parents who had no care in the world but at least the two of you had each other.

a/n: hope you liked this! i had to rush the ending a bit because I wanted it to be done by at least Christmas day so apologies!!!

p.s: if you have any reqs, feel free to ask!! just keep it sfw!!!

[mustangbby]

make you mine

featuring... tecchou suehiro, jouno saigiku.

description... oh, these poor, lovesick boys. how will they go about yearning and pursuing? in which case, their first meeting caused them to fall head over heels for you

authors note... wow i haven't written since september hello everyone... crazy. it's winter break and i'm bored, so i chose to come back for a little (we'll see how long that lasts). anyways enjoy lol! also nikolai and chuuya will be featured in part 2

warnings... maybe ooc. need to get back in the flow of writing lol...

🎧- make you mine : madison beer

tecchou suehiro

it was a pretty slow day for the hunting dogs, so jouno sent tecchou out to go get some coffee for everyone. the base was close to a place he liked, but he wasn't expecting what he saw when he walked in there.

the first thing he noticed was how gorgeous you were, and he was confused on why he couldn't draw his eyes away from your form. you were facing him, but too enamored in what you were typing to notice his gaze. he was pulled out of his mind when the barista welcomed him into the shop, and he walked up to order.

you had pulled yourself away from your work to get another bottle of water, excusing yourself and reaching next to him to grab a bottle and pay at the other open register. goodness, what game was cupid playing with him? your voice was so gentle, it made him want to fold. but he kept his tougher exterior and gave a small smile when you locked eyes.

you had smiled back before apologizing for the reach. why did you apologize? for what? he asked himself, but he just nodded, adding a soft 'you're alright' before you walked back to your chair.

he couldn't keep his eyes off of you. it felt like an eternity, waiting for the drinks, and every so often his eyes would dance back towards your frame. he didn't want to just walk up to you, he thought that would be a little weird. it was soon he realized that he'd gotten a little too distracted, for he found your eyes looking right back into his, an awkward smile on your face.

the drinks also happened to be ready, and he wasted no time at all in grabbing them and racing out of there. when he looked back through the window for the last time, he could see you laughing into your hand.

oh, how he knows fate will bring you two back together, and he'd be able to make you his.

jouno saigiku

it was a very pleasant day outside, he noted, walking through the streets of yokohama. he was earlier assigned to confront a man who had been on their watch for a while, and put an end to all of the dangerous things he's been doing in the city.

he could sense the heartbeats of people walking past him, keeping up with the flow of traffic that way. that was, until he heard a heartbeat get closer, and closer, and closer, until..

crash!

someone collided into his arm, causing them to stumble back a little bit. that someone was you. you immediately started spewing apologies, apologies turning into panic when you figured out that you just ran into a blind man.

"are you okay, sir? i'm so so sorry, i-" you were panicking, until he cut you off.

"it's alright, i feel fine. i hope you're not hurt." a smirk is evident on his face, causing you to take a deep breath. he noticed your heart rate drop a bit, showing him that you're not as panicked as you were before.

but what he didn't realize is that his heart rate was slowly inclining. your voice, the way your hand smoothed over the shirt fabric over his arm, making sure you didn't injure him. everything he was able to tell with you made his heart beat a little faster than normal.

you were so caring, so worried that you'd done unnecessary damage to his frame. he can still feel your touch lingering on his arm, gentler than how it feels when a nice breeze blows on his skin.

"are you sure you're okay? if you need me to, i can help you to your next destination, it's the least i can do," you added on, patiently waiting for his answer.

he immediately accepted, holding the very arm you bumped out for yours to intertwine with. he wanted to get to know you. he wanted to spend a little bit more time with you, and he got what he wanted.

[monstermoviedean]

if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.

[mbat]

by the way, i know the fandom keeps talking about the episode 'dot and bubble' and its themes and commentaries about racism (and its a good conversation to have, of course)

but i cant believe i havent seen anyone talking about how they have that episode, but its in the same season as the first episode with those goblins....

the sneaky little goblins stealing babies to eat them ??

in 2024?? the blood libel goblins?? in 2024??

its just. baffling. we truly are not past this kinda stuff i guess

[nostalgia-tblr]

i nearly anon'd the thorki non-con fic out of SHAME but in two weeks it's become my third most clicked-on fic of the year, behind only a multichapter fic and a bit of angsty sifki porn lololol

[reapersmarch]

that chapter was also a severe case of changing the direction halfway thru because I got to the midpoint and was like . "well. WOULD ricardo still feel kind of betrayed if bel looked that pathetic and told him the truth?? betrayal points to love anyway. if someone i cared about looked that broken down and that exhausted and slightly manic, and told me the truth of the situation, could I still be upset with them? can ric still hold on to that feeling of betrayal or does it melt away until only the love remains?"

[byanyan]

headcanons i need to write down in more detail when i have the energy to get into it: byan not responding well to quiet anger. byan genuinely panicking when someone they care about shuts down in anger. they had at least a few experiences with foster parents who did this, but the most significant was a foster mother who would go completely silent when she got angry, who would almost completely ignore them, making the entire energy of the house uncomfortable in the process. it would make them feel nervous and guilty and unsafe because she would inevitably snap and yell at them with no warning over something completely unrelated that happened to tug at that final straw. they never knew what it was they did wrong because she would never explain the actual reason behind her anger. instead, they were always left in a state of uncertainty, walking on eggshells at all times. and, of course, it was eventually after one of these moments of quiet anger that they were removed from her care by her own request. to this day they still don't know what it was they did that resulted in her getting rid of them, but it's certainly left them with a complex as a result. there's an instinctual fear of approaching abandonment anytime someone gets quiet and/or distances themself from them while angry.

[mad-hunts]

✧

send me a ✧ and i’ll bold all that apply to your muse! (with italics as a 'sometimes' option because i'm a rule-breaker and things may depend on the situation).

i would kill you. ✧ i would physically hurt you. ✧ i would attack you unprovoked. ✧ i would manipulate you. ✧ i dislike you. ✧ you annoy me. ✧ you scare me. ✧ you intimidate me. ✧ i hope i intimidate you. ✧ i pity you. ✧ you disgust me. ✧ i hate you. ✧ i’m indifferent toward you. ✧ i’d like to get to know you better. ✧   i’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ i’d like to be friends with you. ✧  i’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ i’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ you are my friend. ✧ you are my best friend. ✧ you are my mentor. ✧ i look up to you. ✧ i respect you. ✧ you are my hero. ✧ you inspire me. ✧ you are my enemy. ✧ you make me happy. ✧ i want to protect you. ✧ i would fight by your side. ✧ i consider you an equal. ✧ i think you are beneath me. ✧ i think you are above me. ✧ i would lie for you. ✧ i would lie to you. ✧ i would sleep with you. ✧ i would sleep by your side. ✧ i would hug you. ✧ i would kiss you. ✧ you are family to me. ✧ i would die for you. ✧ i would kill for you. ✧ i would trust you with my life. ✧ i would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ i would trust you with a secret. ✧ i would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ i love you (platonically). ✧ i love you (romantically).

[noisytenant]

want to make a resources zine/web page for the general intersection of trauma/compassion/vulnerability/dissociation/IFS stuff since like a good 85% of any given advice i have to offer comes from this framing, but due to Being A Person Who Severely Needs These Resources Myself i dont really have the time or energy to compile rn. and idk when i will. so here i find myself telling ppl to search the same terms for the umpteenth time

[sapphire-weapon]

not me having over 15k words written across three different fics with none of them finished

could never be me

[timeisacephalopod]

I saw a post the other day that kinda pushed back on the way all coming of age movies are about sexuality and all high school stories basically center around who wants to fuck who and how that's like. Not really all coming of age and high school stories should offer since you know. Youth isn't about who you have a crush on and probably coming of age stories in particular should be far more diverse in subject matter than they are.

Honestly as someone who, when I was 'coming of age' age, hated coming of age stories and still do for the exact reason listed above (see the weird scene in It where we all sexualize a 13 year old girl because boys have crushes and surely there's no other way to portray this than feeling a child up with a camera to demonstrate boys have ~feelings~ Bev gets no equivalent scene because she's the object of affection rather than the subject feeling desire) I also wish there was diversity in those stories. And coming of age stories about adults- we don't stop going through huge life moments that change everything forever, but back to kids. When I was a kid I could have desperately used a coming of age story where the character has a sick and dying parent who does die by the end of the story and what happens after that. Granted I did just fine without it, but even without being asexual it's always irked me that coming of age stories don't seem to appreciate that kids have way larger problems and way better stories to tell then first crushes and first kisses for shit sake give kids who went through what I did as a kid some kind of story about what happens when your parent gets cancer and how complicated that is and stop assuming the biggest thing that happens around puberty is discovering sexuality that, if you were queer, you probably already noticed what you felt wasn't in a coming of age story anyway.

[cryolyst]

~

[mbat]

i feel like my soul is dissolving