#at least wait and see before you get overly focused on the negative

[btsandvmin]

Vmin - Dead or alive? Are we still asking the same question?

Not to be that person, but in September 2018 I wrote a post about Vmin and how people worried they were "dead" or had fallen part. And with this conversation coming up literally a few times a year I am just so fascinated. I made two throwback posts just to remind people of all the moments we got with Vmin in 2017 and 2018, because people were worried they had changed and weren't as close... and I hoped people would remember how much we do get. And yet we keep ending up in a place where negativity takes over and people get worried. Especially in times when BTS has less content. This is from my post in 2018.

Can we please try to put things into perspective. We haven't really gotten a lot of BTS or ship content in general for a couple of months. (I keep missing them despite new content as we have gone from a intense period to a more quiet one) But also try to remember why we might have fewer Vmin interactions that has little to do with them. How award season was very different this year. How a lot of choreo being planned differently meant fewer moments for Vmin to do their "normal" moments in songs like Dynamite or LGO. How Run episodes having lots of moments or not depends on more than if the members have issues with each other... And most importantly how we have still gotten moments. Some pretty nice ones too. Even Vmin posting on weverse in relation to each other. Just because we compare this period to what we got earlier or what we expect/hope for it doesn't remove the moments we did get.

I would write a proper post on this but frankly I have talked about this subject too many times (though the time of course have different aspects to it as well, so it's not going to be exactly the same). Many other Vminines also already did posts on this recent feeling so no reason to repeat that as well. And I do have a better more detailed take on this problem in my big analysis where I talk about why we might feel like this, so for now this will suffice.

Here is the short summary (that is very sloppy because I haven't proof-read it yet) from that post.

Through the years I have sometimes gotten asks like "I am worried Vmin seem distant lately" and then even just a few days later "What is up with Vmin they are so loud". I think it's a lot about what we focus on most of the time. And repeatedly hearing "Vmin seem distant" will just make us more likely to start believe it.

This is such a rant and chaotic post written from my phone in a hurry. I just really want people to remember how this conversation keeps coming up once in a while and it's nothing new (other shippers have the same type of reactions/worries as well from time to time). It wasn't even new in 2018 as I was already kind of tired of this "flip flop" worry. Vmin called each other soulmates in 2017, people thought they fell apart in 2018 and now in 2020 they sang about being soulmates. That's the perspective we might want to remember. Do I think Vmin fell apart and then suddenly felt like soulmates again? Or do I think fans' misinterpreted them and exaggerated the negative and projected their feelings onto Vmin? Probably more likely the second. Because we do get moments, and we will for sure get more again.

I understand if you miss Vmin or even if you wonder if something might be going on. But I really don't think we have anything to worry about. At least not with what we have at the moment. I have been here a million times before, and the only consistant changes I have seen is Vmin getting closer and louder and softer. Like, Friends, 95z is love, sharing beds, holding hands every chance they can... Things that all happened after they were "dead" in 2018. Not to mention Vmin in Malta, the Christmas song Vlive or other big moments that happened during the "peak of dead Vmin". Vmin has known each other and been best friends for 7 years, their relationship is likely stable by now and it would take a lot for me to worry about them.

Sorry for the rant. But I think now would be a good time to actually remember everything we got, small or not, and realize it all still points at Vmin being soulmates.

[solarwonux]

Sangyeon x f!reader

W.C: 6.2k

Warnings: alcohol consumption, suggestive themes, arguing, mentions of cheating

For the 12 Months I Loved You Collab by: @sunlightwoo

Note: um...better late than never right?? This was supposed to go up in February but things happen. It’s one of my favorite ones that I’ve written, but I feel like I say that for every single thing I write lmao. I hope you like it plsssss let me know your thoughts. Thank you.xx

A long exasperated sigh left your lips at the sight of Sangyeon in the corner of the reception hall, chatting up a pretty redhead. His arm draped around their waist, clutching their body close to his, their faces close enough to smell the expensive champagne lingering in their breaths. A palm was placed on his chest as he leaned down to whisper something in their ear. Earning a flirtatious giggle from them, along with a sultry nod.

Their delicate fingers wrapped around his black tie as they pulled him close to whisper something against his plump lips. It was your cue to look away, but something inside of you—maybe the five flutes of champagne you had indulged in when the night was still young, prevented you from looking away.

Gripping the body of your sixth flute you prepared for what was to come, though when he smirked and unraveled their fingers from his tie, you let out a sigh of relief. Sangyeon still hasn’t broken rule number three of your friends with benefits arrangement.

As common courtesy for the other party, under absolutely no circumstance you are to hook up with other people.

Though when he ran his fingers down the side of their arm teasingly making them shiver at the feather-like feeling. One you had relished in for many nights on end, you knew he would not only be breaking rule number three but rule number four as well.

As common courtesy for the other party, under absolutely no circumstances you are to hook up with other people, especially when the other party is in the same room.

The anger flourished inside of you like an unwelcome weed. And you knew green was definitely not your color, but you couldn’t help but feel the jealousy take over, running along your veins like bitter poison. Your grip on your champagne flute got tighter. So much so that if you were destined with superhuman strength you would’ve shattered it into pieces, especially when his knowing eyes met yours. A glint of something sinister sparking behind them while his fingers laced with those of the red head.

He turned away before giving them a shy whisper and then tugged them gently towards the door of the reception hall. Leaving you behind in the middle of his best friend’s wedding reception, on your sixth flute of champagne, while you broke rule number six.

Don’t catch feelings for the other party involved.

To be fair when you and Sangyeon had agreed to the terms and conditions of your new no strings attached relationship. You were positive, even overly confident that you weren’t going to be the one to fall for your brother's asshole friend.

You had known him for years, grew up with him. He always made it his mission to make your life a living hell. Whether it was purple food coloring in your hair conditioner back in middle school (you had an odd mixture of purple and red that had somehow turned a nasty shade of burgundy in your hair for almost a year as you grew it out enough to cut off the damage,) or calling you ugly while simultaneously including all the the synonyms. He had made your life a living hell, he had been the reason for your tears whenever your insecurities took over. And he had been the reason for your newfound jealousy now as you sat on your couch a week after your brother's wedding still replaying the scene back in your head like a bad old timely movie.

It had started when two of you got drunk on Christmas Eve, laughing boisterously at your nonexistent love life’s.

“Who knew the reason we would be bonding is because we haven’t gotten laid in months.” He said, throwing his head back, gulping the remnants of his beer.

”For your information, I got laid last week. But I’m not bringing my one night stand to meet my family.” You rolled your eyes, bumping your shoulder against his.

He sets the beer bottle to his side, before leaning his elbows on his knees and gazing over at you. “How many people asked you where your date was tonight?”

“Too many.” You sigh, running your finger along the condensation of your own beer bottle. The memories of yours and Sangyeon’s family coming up to you asking you the million dollar question still prevalent in your mind. “You?”

“Not as many as I expected but still a lot. I just wish maybe they can back off.” He leaned back, placing his elbows behind him. He tore his eyes from your form and focused them on the night sky. “Maybe I should’ve hired a date or something.” He comments.

Your family's holiday party was still bustling behind the front door of your childhood home. Yet, the thought of ever going back in, earning judgmental looks from your single aunts was keeping you away.

He was right, maybe you should’ve hired someone as a date for the night.

Sangyeon bumped his knee against yours gently, “Want to date for the holiday’s?” The question came off as a joke, his sweet and gentle laugh following it. But as you sat there contemplating the idea, you realized that it wasn’t as bad. He was practically family. Your parents and his parents had been trying for years to set the two of you up. If you were to show up on New Year’s with your arm looped in his, no one would bat an eyelash. In fact you were willing to bet money that your mom and his would start crying pure tears of joy.

“Why not?” You shrug, “Our parents have been planning our wedding since we were kids, and as much as we don’t like each other. In some twisted sense of the word I do trust you.” Sangyeon did a double take, sitting up straighter and leaning in just enough to be in your line of sight.

“Are you sure?” Concern washed over his features. His bottom lip found its way in between his teeth as he waited for your response. “Like, you want to date me for the holiday’s?” He asked pleading for reassurance. Despite the relationship between the two of you not making sense to anyone outside your friendship circle, the level of trust and respect for each other’s boundaries was evident. You two pushed each other, got under each other’s skin, but you also knew when to stop. Which is why this plan was perfect. Foolproof.

“Yes.”

And somehow the two of you agreed that from then until further notice you would be each other’s dates for every holiday in the near future. Yet, if you had known the outcome of it you wouldn’t have agreed, especially not when the thin threshold had been crossed on your birthday.

He had showed up with a cheap bottle of vodka, all the romantic comedies he could find at the gas station and a boyish smile. His lips were on yours after five shots of the drinking game you had invented and you were naked underneath him after seven.

“I’m just saying, adding sex into the mix wouldn’t be such a bad idea.” He proposed with a shrug during a very awkward hang over filled coffee talk at the rundown cafe the next day. “We can even add some rules so it wouldn’t be so weird.”

“Adding rules is the weird part, Sangyeon.” You rolled your eyes before taking a sip of your herbal green tea and then cringing at the taste. “But they would help...you know to keep things from getting messy.”

“Then it’s settled.” He smiled widely grabbing the kids menu you had ordered from and a red crayon, scribbling down messily in his almost indescifrable handwriting:

Holi-date No Strings Attached Rule Book

Can I come over tonight.xx

Your eyes roll to the back of your head in annoyance, upon reading the text from Sangyeon. Of course, he hadn’t contacted you for over a week and the only time he decides to do so is when he’s in need of a good fuck. You throw your phone down on the table, resting your forehead against it. An annoyed sound falling out of your lips.

“Hello there negative nancy,” Kevin says, slipping into the seat in front of you. “I got you your favorite.” He sings, placing the iced matcha green tea latte in front of you and flicking the top of your head to get your attention.

You whine, lifting your head up a pout evident on your lips as you break the seal of the plastic lid with your paper straw. A poor attempt to reduce the consumption of plastic. Changing the straw wouldn’t do anything for the Earth when your whole cup is made out of non-biodegradable plastic. Maybe it’s the effort and the thought that counts, either way you take a sip from your drink, savoring the taste as it coats your tastebuds. Letting the false promise of a full six hour surge of energy run down your throat.

“Thank you for buying today.” You nod.

“It’s the least I can do for helping me with the web design project.” He smiles an award winning smile before bringing his hot mug of black coffee up to his lips. Hissing from the heat and cringing at the taste. Just like how he couldn't phantom how you liked the vibrant green liquid, you couldn’t understand how he drank five cups of black coffee daily. Indeed, he was not human, you concluded that a couple years ago.

You shrug, wrapping your fingers around the cup, “I had time to spare, but don’t get too comfortable with my help. It’s rare that I finish my work early.” You point an accusatory finger at him, furrowing your eyebrows before breaking into a wide smile.

“Ehh,” Kevin shrugs, “we’ll see about that when you’re begging me to buy you one of those nasty vomit colored drinks in a week.” He finishes sending you a wink that usually has all the girls and guys weak in the knees. You on the other hand have been so accustomed to his flirty ways after years of working side by side that it did nothing to you but annoy you slightly, yet in some odd way it comforted you.

Since day one everything between you and Kevin was comfortable and easy. He sat next to you in your digital marketing class Sophomore year of college and the two of you had been inseparable ever since. For a while you harbored a fat silent crush on him, his flirting being a point of confusion for you back then. It wasn’t until you experienced first hand what dating Kevin would be like that your crush dissipated into nothing but a platonic kind of love.

It was awful, the two of you had only gone on two dates. Two very disastrous and nightmare inducing dates, that sent shivers up both of your spines when just the mere thought of it entered the front lobe of your brains. It was then, while attempting to wash out a red wine stain out of your white dress in his and Jacob’s kitchen that you both agreed to just being friends. Eventually leading up to being coworkers as well.

It was a shame, you could always see yourself possibly loving Kevin and it would be easy too. And as much as you’d like to imagine it sometimes, he wouldn’t be able to give you what you wanted and vice versa.

“How’s the boyfriend, trouble in paradise yet?” He raises his eyebrow at you, hitting your calf lightly with the tip of his dress shoe.

You groan, running a hand through your hair, “Sangyeon is not my boyfriend, we just hang out sometimes.”

You quirks an eyebrow, smirking, “That’s what I said about Jacob and I, and look at us now.” He raises his left hand wiggling his ring ringer, letting the gold band catch the light of the setting sun. “Till death do us apart or something like that.” He shrugs, taking another sip from his coffee.

“Yeah but you two are perfect for each other, Sangyeon and I are like water and oil we don’t mix unless, well...you know.”

“Unless the two of you are fucking? Yes I am aware, the horror of me walking in on the two of you last month still keeps me up at night.” He shudders, pushing his half empty mug away from him. A disgusted look on his face.

“Ugh,” you put your head in your hands in utter despair, “I thought we agreed to forget about that and move on.”

“Fine I won’t bring it up again,” He rolls his eyes and sits back, crossing his arms in front of him. “But I know there’s trouble in paradise, does it have to do with what happened at the reception?”

You stare at him with wide eyes. It wasn’t just the events that took place at the reception. It was everything before the reception, during the reception and after the reception. You swore to yourself and him the morning after the two of you first accidentally slept together that you would never fall for him. But as it turns out, you had fallen for him long before that, a moment lost in time. A moment you couldn’t pinpoint but you just knew that what you felt for him was more than platonic. It sucked.

“Maybe,” you shrug, stirring the contents of your drink with your paper straw, distracting you and avoiding Kevin’s look of concern. “Honestly, I’m not sure. He’s just so frustrating. We agreed to have rules to make this whole fucked up situation less of a mess, but he broke two of those rules that night, purposely. I could tell that he was enjoying it.” You let out a defeated sigh and push your drink out of the way, bringing your arms to rest on top of the table, crossing them and hiding your face in them. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact emotion you were feeling, but you just knew it was bad from the way your throat closed up and the tears that were brimming in the corner of your eyes.

Kevin hummed and leaned forward onto the table, ruffling your hair in the process. “And what rule have you broken?” He whispers.

“The one in which I wasn’t supposed to fall for him.” You lift your head, digging your palms into your eyes forcefully. “I didn’t want to, I still don’t want to, but I can’t stop. It’s like he’s casted some kind of love spell on me. Maybe it’s part of his evil plan to destroy me once and for all.” You sigh, grabbing your phone and turning it over. The text sitting there unread, haunting you.

“Don’t answer it.” Kevin covers your screen with his hand. The sadness he held for you is evident behind his soft eyes. “I know you want to but don’t answer it. It’s only going to make you feel worse and frankly I still hate seeing you cry.”

He’s right. Answering him would only make you feel smaller than you already do. You didn’t want to see him, but you longed to have him hold you even if it meant nothing to him. You push Kevin’s hand away, swiping your thumb over the text, hitting reply. You know you should listen to your best friend, but there’s a reason why the two of you would’ve never made it far in a romantic relationship.

You were stubborn and never listened.

8pm, don’t be late. I have to wake up early tomorrow.

Kevin sighs, shaking his head in disappointment, falling back in his chair, scoffing. “Last time, tonight will be the last time and then we break it off.” You say, avoiding his eyes.

“That’s exactly what I said and I ended up having a shotgun wedding.”

Can’t wait, miss you.xx

“My job’s having an event for Valentine’s Day.” Sangyeon broke the silence, his chest still rising rapidly, matching yours. As you came down from your highs.

The second he had walked in through your front door he was pinning you against your poor excuse of a dining room table, without a proper greeting. He barely gave you a second to think before he was peeling your clothes off in a haste and carrying you off to your room.

“And you want me to go with you?” You turn your head to face him. He was laying down on his side, his head resting on his arm, watching you cautiously.

“Mhm,” He puts his arm around your waist and pulls you close. “I need a plus one, I have this annoying coworker that doesn’t leave me alone. I figured if I brought you along they would back off.”

“So I’m not just your date, but also your cockblock?” You tilt your head to the side, raising your eyebrow. “What happens when they find out we aren’t actually dating?” You poke his chest with your index finger. It was smooth and muscular and decorated with the beautiful marks you left behind a few minutes ago.

“They won’t.” He smiled leaving a light kiss against your neck, trailing his lips up and sucking on the spot he knew would have you moaning in seconds. “What do you say?” He bites your earlobe, pulling it before sitting up again.

You sigh and bring your sheets up to your body, sitting up. “I can't, I have plans already.” You lie hugging your knees up to your chest. You wanted to go, pretend once more that you and Sangyeon were more than holiday dates and fuck buddies. But you couldn’t put yourself through that anymore. You were getting used to being by his side, living out a fantasy in your head. When all he wanted was a quick fuck and an easy pass.

“I have a date, Kevin and Jacob’s friend.” You shrug, closing your eyes, mentally apologizing to the couple for dragging them into your problem’s once again. “We’re going out to dinner.” You finish, opening your eyes and looking over at Sangyeon who laid there, messy hair decorating his pillows, stunned. You knew what he was thinking and you were just waiting for him to say it. To get it over with so he’d leave as fast he came in.

He chewed on his bottom lip and then scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “Oh, what about rule number seven or whatever.” He quickly got up from your bed, letting the sheets covering his lower half fall down to your carpeted floor.

As common courtesy for the other party, under absolutely no circumstances you are to date other people, until officially calling the deal off.

“Well, I don’t know. I like him. We’ve been talking for a while now and he’s sweet. He likes me.” You shrug, watching as he walks around your room looking for his discarded clothes. “And I haven’t broken the rule, yet. I was hoping we could talk about it and just call this whole thing off once and for all.”

“No but you broke rule number one or something.” He puts on his boxers fast and digs through your scattered clothes on your floor for the rest of his clothes.

You sat there silently watching him, running through your memory files as you recalled the rules and what rule number one consisted of which had nothing to do with what you had done. Or lied about doing.

As common courtesy for the other party, always use protection.

“That’s not what rule number one is, it’s -”

“Whatever, you broke a rule before calling it quits, you were basically cheating on me.” He yells, leaving his white washed jeans unbuttoned as he runs a frustrated hand through his hair. You were floored, witnessing an angry Sangyeon wasn’t rare for you. In fact, growing up you had been the product of many of his angry outbursts while inducing your revenge, but it was never serious. This was different. This felt different. This was serious, he was accusing you of something you didn’t do. He was accusing you of doing the one thing you saw him do at your brother’s wedding reception. It made your blood boil.

“That’s fucking rich coming from you, when you cheated on me first, but I never brought it up because although you fucking did break a rule. We are not together so who am I to get angry at you?” You threw your hands up in the hair, before pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Who are you to get angry with me?”

“And they were a good fucking lay, much better than you in every single aspect.” He spits out, angrily putting on his shirt. His words hurt. He was hitting you where it hurts the most and he wasn’t even aware of it. You held his gaze, refusing to break down in front of him.

“Why not ask them instead, why didn’t you go to them tonight instead of coming here?”

He shrugs, looking around your room, focusing on the polaroid pictures you kept on your mirror. Anything was better than looking at you, and the tears pooling in yours in which he undoubtedly was the cause of. But he was hurt too, you let him come over, you let him in and he had given you everything. Poured out his unwarranted feelings into every kiss he left on your body and every pattern he painted onto your skin with his delicate fingertips, just like he always did whenever the two of you got together. He knew he had broken rule number six a long time ago. Back when the two of you were still in high school, when the rules didn’t exist and his crush on you was nothing compared to what he felt for you now. But he was scared of telling you, and it had gotten him nowhere.

His heart still broke just like he feared, and even worse he had broken yours too.

“Maybe I should, this was a mistake. Being with you in the first place was a mistake and I knew it was going to bite me in the ass one day.”

“Get out, I never want to see you again.”

“With pleasure.” Sangyeon turns around and walks out the door. It wasn’t until you heard your front door slam shut that you finally let yourself cry.

You should’ve listened to Kevin.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Jacob pulls his scarf around his neck. Though, it was February it had snowed last night. The winter clothes that you had slowly started putting away, swiftly made their comeback when you woke up shivering that morning.

You shake your head, stuffing the heart shaped cake you had made for both him and Kevin the day before. Be mine inscribed in sparkly purple store bought icing as per request from Jacob, “It’s Valentine’s Day, you should spend it alone together.” You raise your eyebrows suggestively at the two men in front of you.

Kevin leans forward, one hand on his waist while the other one moves up and flicks your forehead, “get that pretty head of yours out of the gutter, Jacob and I are gonna romantically eat our weight in this beautiful cake you’ve made us, while watching the Bring it On series.”

“I’m trying to get him to realize why the third one is the best.” Jacob says pointedly, bumping his shoulder against his husbands. “Solange Knowles steals the show, but he doesn’t want to admit it.”

Kevin scoffs and turns to face him, “I love you and I love your love for the Knowles family but face it babe the best Bring it On movie is the first one, it sets the precedent for all the other movies.” He finishes painting the picture out with his hands in the air before kissing the others cheek.

You shake your head, silently giving Jacob a knowing look. Of course the third Bring it On was the best one, but you won’t ever say that out loud. At least not with Kevin present, he won’t ever let you live it down. Will go on and on about how both you and Jacob were wrong until he was repeating himself.

“It sounds tempting but I’m going to pass, I have my own date with my couch and heart shaped pizza and -”

“Your vibrator.” Kevin interrupts, raising his eyebrows, smiling smugly at you. The embarrassment taking over your body and rising out of your ears. Jacob rolled his eyes, hitting his husband’s upside the head, and a warning look. Kevin pouted, “What? I’m not wrong, that's what she does every Valentine’s day, I’m just stating the truth.” He complains rubbing the back of his head.

“We’re going to go now.” Jacob places both of his arms on top of Kevin’s shoulders, mouthing a sorry in the process. You brush him off, “the offer still stands, if you get bored you can join us.” He opens the door and pushes his husband through the door frame.

“I’m good, have fun and no Kevin you can’t sleep on my couch after Jacob’s kicked you out again.”

“Wasn’t planning on it, last time, I walked in on you and San -”

Jacob covers his mouth with wide eyes as he continues to push him out of your front door, Kevin shrinks at the realization that he almost slipped. It had been three weeks since you last met him, since he last reached out to you. The only thing you knew of him was that your mom had called you to tell you that he had finally gotten the promotion he had been desiring for almost a year. Doting over him like she always did. It had gotten worse when the two of you showed up hand in hand at New Year’s last year. You were proud of him. You wanted to hug him and celebrate his achievement in every which way you could. But you meant it when you told him that you didn’t want to see him again. You couldn’t trust yourself or your heart when it came to him.

“We love you, call us if you need anything.” Jacob said, sending you a kiss and shutting your front door. You smiled, listening to their bickering out in the hallway, standing there until they were far away and you couldn’t hear them anymore. They were characters, the two of them and even worse when they were together. It was why they were so perfect for one another, they completed one another in every sense of the word and it made you insanely happy, but also sad.

Sometimes you wished, whenever you were alone at night and staring up at your popcorn ceiling that you could have what they had with someone that loved you to the point in which they couldn’t live without you.

It will come, at least that what you told yourself whenever the tears stopped. You just had to be patient.

You were halfway through an episode of the Vampire Diaries, and your fourth slice of pizza when the knocking on your front door sounded. You rolled your eyes, quickly pausing your show and setting down your half eaten pizza slice in the box, before standing up. You obviously weren’t expecting anyone but you figured it was Kevin after getting kicked out again. It was never serious, this game both he and Jacob played. It was some form of twisted foreplay thing they did to keep things interesting. They had explained it to you once when you shared your concern for their relationship. Sometimes you wished you hadn’t asked. You could’ve gone living your life peacefully without knowing the details of their sex life.

“I’m going!” The knocking became more desperate the closer you got to the door, and it confused you. Maybe this wasn’t part of their roleplay fantasies and something had actually happened. It worried you. You could feel it all over your body as you grabbed hold of your doorknob. “Kevin is something wro-” You stopped mid sentence when you swung your door wide open revealing a very drunk and disheveled Sangyeon.

You brought your hand up to your chest, holding onto the necklace his family had given you back in highschool as a graduation present. You never took it off, it brought a sense of comfort whenever you were caught in situations that had your anxiety spiraling out of control. Situations similar to this one.

“What are you doing here?” You step aside to give him room to enter, inviting him in without a shadow of a doubt. You shouldn’t have done that, but the part of you that will always care for him was stronger than the part of you that wanted nothing to do with him.

“We agreed to be together every single holiday season and it’s Valentine’s Day.” He say, his voice slurring slightly at the end, evident that he had consumed more alcohol than what he could handle. “I can’t leave you alone on Valentine’s Day.” He finishes, his voice turning small at the end. He ran a shaking hand through his hair causing it to stand up in different directions as he paced through your living room.

You pressed your hands up to your cheeks, letting the coldness of your palms relieve the heat that had suddenly overtaken your body. “B-But we broke things off, we don’t have to do this anymore.” You drop your hands down and point at him and then at yourself, swallowing the lump that was forming in the back of your throat. “Don’t you have an event at work? What are you doing here?”

Sangyeon looks down, taking his lips in between his teeth, “I didn’t go.” He whispers before raising his head, his eyes welling up with tears as he stuffed his trembling hands into the pocket of his white washed jeans. You swore he didn’t own another pair. “I couldn’t go without you. I-I want to spend Valentine’s Day with you and the rest of upcoming holidays...But I also want to take you out on dates and binge watch shows with you and make love to you and hold you while you sleep. I want to wake up with you in my arms, and kiss you while you’re complaining about morning breath and make you breakfast.” He takes a shuddering deep breath before sitting down on the armrest of your couch, digging his thumb into the palm of his hands. “I just want to be with you forever.” He says, clearing his throat before letting the few tears he had been keeping fall.

“Sangyeon I-” You looked around your living room frantically. Your heart was beating out of your chest. The words that had fallen out of Sanyeon’s lips with ease were the last thing you had expected to ever hear him say. It was everything you had longed to hear him say for almost a year now and you didn’t know how to react. Should you tell him to leave to give you some space to take everything in? Or should you run up to him and kiss with all the love and passion you harbored for him? You were caught at the crossroads. was overwhelming.

Sangyeon scoffed, shaking his head before raising it again, turning his head to focus on your tv, avoiding your eyes. “You don’t have to say anything. I know you don’t feel the same way, I just couldn’t keep it in anymore. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids and I don’t know when you told me that you were seeing someone. I was so angry at myself for never being able to just confess and hurt that I had been too late.”

The air in your lungs caught itself in the back of your throat. You walked towards him quickly crouching down in front of him, taking his hands in yours. “Sangyeon look at me.” You swallowed, placing two of your fingers underneath his chin and guiding his head to face you, finally locking eyes with you. You felt so weak and full of energy, ready to kiss him until the two of you died from lack of air and you wanted to laugh. “We’re so stupid Sangyeon. This entire time I thought you only wanted me for sex while I slowly fell for you and now you’re telling me that you had the hots for me since we were kids...wow.” You smile, swiping your thumb underneath his eyelids wiping away his falling tears. “I’ve loved for a long time. I don’t know when I started to love you. Just that when I realized it I couldn’t stop.”

“‘I’m sorry.” He hiccups, his fingers wrapping around your wrist. “I’m sorry for what I did at your brother’s reception, but I swear on my grave that nothing happened between us. They were drunk so I called them an uber and walked them to their ride when it arrived.” He confesses, leaning down and circling his arms around your waist, guiding you to stand up.

He rests his forehead against your stomach sighing. “There’s never been anyone else for me other than you. You make me feel so stupid and frustrated sometimes. I know I shouldn’t have said the things I did that night, like you said I had no right to bud into your love life and being angry is no excuse but I was scared of losing you.” He looks up, his bright eyes pleading. “I’m still scared of losing you.”

You sniffle, bringing your hand up to his head, letting your fingers thread through his already messy hair, “I’m sorry too for lying. Clearly I had no plans.” You laugh lightly, pointing around your living room. “I had somehow convinced myself that lying about seeing someone else would be an easier way to end things, but it hurt so much seeing you leave knowing that there was a possibility I would never see you again.”

Sangyeon laughs, his shoulders shaking gently before he leaves a chaste kiss against your clothed stomach. “Honestly, that would be impossible, we’ve been practically married since the minute we entered this world.” He stands up, towering a couple inches over you, “If I hadn’t come tonight our moms would have forced us to talk sooner or later, I just got a little too drunk and beat them to it.” He presses a kiss against your head before pulling you into a tight hug, sighing happily. “I never want to be without you.”

You nod against his chest, “Will you remember this tomorrow?” It was a thought that had been running through your mind since his confession hit you full force knocking the wind out of your body. Though the few times you had a drunk Sangyeon in your presence he remembered every single tiny detail the next day. This was just your fear taking full charge at the thought of him waking up next to you confused, and walking out again.

He hummed, smoothing his hands down your back. “I’ll write everything that happened down and in detail. I’ll even describe the look on your face when I told you that I loved you. Which by the way have I told you that I love you...a lot.” He teased, leaning back and wiggling his brows.

You leave a light kiss on his chin before pulling away, unraveling his arms from your body. “I love you too.” You walked around him and sat on the couch picking up the remote. “Want to join me?” You tilt your head, your thumb hovering over the play button.

Sangyeon pouts slightly, copying your movements and sitting down next to you. “I haven’t asked you to be my official girlfriend yet.”

“Ask me in the morning, I want you to ask me when you’re sober.” You smile, kissing his lips lightly and wrapping your arm around his waist, leaning your head against his chest.

He makes a sound of approval, placing his arm around your shoulder, “Okay but I have another confession before you press play.”

“What is it?” You press your cheek against his chest before looking up at him confused.

“I already watched this episode, Elena and Damon get into a fight.”

“Don’t they always.”

“Yeah but I don’t want to watch it again.”

You shrug and press play, “Unfortunately, you have infiltrated my Valentine’s Day plans so you’re stuck watching.”

“I did it in the name of love.” He groans, shifting and pulling one of your legs over his lap, holding you closer, as the snarky remarks between the two characters start, sounding loudly through the speakers he had helped install when you first moved into your place three years ago. He almost told you he loved you that day, but then you had put an ice cube down his back and his mind instantly started thinking of ways to get his revenge. His confession hiding away again.

But now it was out in the open and finally he could love you the way he knew he could. The way you deserved.

“And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

[aghoulishtale]

One Day

Nathan Young x Reader // Misfits 

A little something for Nathan’s birthday. 

Word Count: 1.4k  Warnings: Swearing, smut (go easy on me I’m new to this)

[gif]

Disappointed, Nathan dragged himself up the stairs, a stolen bottle of vodka in hand. It was his own fault he was alone on his birthday, he hadn’t told anyone about it, and his mum believed him to be at a party, he didn’t want her to be worried. He collapsed onto the makeshift bed he had been calling home, swiftly flicking off the bottle lid and taking a swig. He didn’t notice the envelope until he lay back, the corner stabbing into the back of his neck. 

“What?” He mumbled, grabbing the yellow envelope, his name written neatly on the front followed by a small heart. Inside he found a generic birthday card, some joke about getting older, and a smaller envelope which he secretly hoped contained cash. The message inside the card read:

To Nathan,  Happy birthday, arsehole.  I’m taking a wild guess that at some point today you asked me for birthday sex, or a handjob at least, and knowing me as well as I do, I’m assuming I said no. It is your birthday though, so here’s a little treat, just for you. And I mean just YOU, okay? Have fun. Lots of Love  y/n xx

“Actually, I didn’t tell you it was my birthday, so I just asked for regular sex.” He muttered, smiling at the message. He didn’t know how she knew, but he wasn’t overly surprised, she seemed to know everything. He picked up the smaller envelope, sealed shut with nothing written on it, and very light. Opening it, he pulled out a set of pictures, the first of y/n in only a t-shirt, one he recognised to be his own, a teasing smirk on her face as she held the bottom of it, looking as though she was about to lift it up. In the second picture she had done exactly that, revealing the lace pants she was wearing underneath, holding the t-shirt just below her breasts. In the third, the t-shirt was gone, her long hair pulled forward, strategically covering her nipples, and Nathan’s heart raced as he began to imagine what the final picture might be, sucking in a breath as he saw it.  

“Oh, fuck.” He whispered, glancing around him as though he was worried he was about to be caught doing something wrong, even though he was alone, and had permission to be looking at this. In this picture, y/n’s hand was in her hair, pushing it back so that her breasts were on full display, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth as she stared seductively into the camera. She wasn’t completely naked, the lace pants still in place, but it was more than he had ever seen of her, and it was perfect. He grabbed his phone, sending a quick text. 

Thanks for the present, much appreciated.

You’re welcome. Enjoy ;)

“Oh, I will.” He said to himself, throwing the phone to the end of the mat and shuffling back so that he was leaning up against the wall, the last photo still clutched in his hand. He wasted no time undoing his jeans, sliding his hand into his underwear, the picture already having had an impact. He studied it as he started to pump his fist, taking in every inch of the picture, thinking about how he would probably explode if he ever saw her like that in person, squeezing his eyes shut as he imagined it. 

One day. He thought. One day, she’ll say yes. The sound of his phone ringing startled him, groaning as he dropped the picture to pick it up, planning to switch it off until he saw the name lighting up the screen. 

“y/n?” He answered.

---

You sat staring at your phone, nervously waiting for it to go off. Surely he would’ve found it by now; your little birthday surprise. You’d made the plan a few weeks ago, after seeing his birthday on his file when you had been raiding the office looking for something else. When you realised that it was soon, you stole one of his t-shirts and gotten a little tipsy to build up the courage to take the photos, and then dropped them off earlier that day as everyone was leaving the community centre. You hoped that he liked them, that you weren’t crossing a line.

It’s Nathan, he doesn’t have a line. You told yourself, but the longer you waited to hear from him, the more nervous you got. You jumped as the phone buzzed. Quickly grabbing it with a shaky hand, you sighed with relief as you read the message, replying before lying back on your bed, a smile on your face at the thought that he had liked it. Now you just had to pray that he would keep them to himself and not show them to anyone, but you had placed your trust in him, and there was no going back now. 

Too focused on the worry of receiving a negative reaction, you hadn’t given much thought to what he might actually be doing with them, but now that it was done, your mind began to wander. The idea that he might be using them to masturbate sent a wave of arousal through you. Of course that had been the intention, but until now you hadn’t given much thought to him actually doing it, and the image made you heat up. Pushing up your top, you rolled a nipple between your fingers, the same way you had done just before taking the photos. In a split second decision, you dialled his number, continuing to fondle your breasts as you waited for him to pick up. 

“y/n?” He answered. 

“Nathan.” You replied with a steady voice. “Happy birthday.” 

“Thanks. Especially for this little gift.” 

“Oh, you like them?” You inquired, despite already knowing the answer. 

“Oh, I like them.” 

“What are you going to do with them?” You asked him, his last answer giving you a surge of confidence. 

“I think you know what I’m going to do with them.” You let out a breathy laugh, dragging your nails down your stomach, stopping at the waistband of your shorts and dragging them back up and over your breasts. 

“Have you already started?” There was silence on the other side, all you could hear was his heavy breathing. 

“Yes.” He admitted. 

“Good.” You whispered, feeling a little breathless yourself. “Carry on.” 

“Are you not going to hang up?” He asked, but you didn’t give him a response, finding that you didn’t want to. “You can listen if you want to.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” He repeated, and you could hear him shuffling, wondering what he was doing. “Is that all you’re going to do? Just listen?” Your hand was back to the waistband of your shorts, but this time you let it go further, pushing underneath. 

“No.” You told him, gasping as your fingers slid into you easily, Nathan letting out a quiet moan in response. You could just about hear the sound of his hand on his cock over his laboured breathing, and you sped up your fingers to match his pace, imagining that they were his as you listened to his small whimpers.

“y/n?” He asked, his breath hitching. 

“Yes?” 

“Talk to me.” Panicked, you stopped moving. You’d never done this before, you had no idea what to say. “Tell me what you’re thinking about.” Nathan encouraged, as though reading your mind. 

“You.” You admitted, moving your fingers once again. 

“Doing what?” 

“Fucking me.” You closed your eyes, picturing exactly what it was you’d want him doing. 

“Yeah?” 

“You’ve got me-oh-got me pinned against a wall.” 

“A wall?” 

“Yeah. Slamming into me.” 

“Hard?” You heard him speeding up, and you continued to match his pace, moaning as you felt your climax build. 

“Really hard.” 

“F-fuck.” You could tell Nathan was close, his pumps getting more sloppy as he let out a deep groan. The sound pushed you over the edge, your back arching as a wave of pleasure rolled through you, moaning his name as it hit. Nathan followed not long after, both of you silent as you came down, your chest heaving. 

“y/n?” Nathan broke the silence, and you hummed in response. “Will we ever actually shag properly?” 

“Maybe.” You answered. You weren’t really sure why you kept putting it off, but you were too tired to think too much about it right now. “One day.” 

“Okay.”

“Good night, Nathan.” 

“Night, y/n.” You hung up, gripping your phone in your fist and staring up at the ceiling. 

One day. You thought. Probably soon.

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

Pregnancy Series - Surprise! (2)

You Find Out You’re Pregnant/Telling Him

Shinsou Hitoshi

Hitoshi watched as you paced around the room - your obvious anxiety stressing him out as your generally calm appearance faded. Your period was very late, a lot later for it to be just a normal switch in your period schedule, and the app on your phone had been telling you your period should be coming the following day for a little over a week.

“Kitten, what’s the matter?” 

You knew you already discussed this with him and you both decided you were perfectly ready for a baby - but still, it’s a baby! If you’re pregnant, your whole life is completely changing. So it’s normal to be stressed. Along with that, you had taken a few pregnancy tests but they had shown nothing - and with some research you found the best time to take a pregnancy test after a missed period was… now. Which is why in the bathroom there was a test waiting on the counter as you paced the 5 minutes away.

“I’m… trying to figure out something. Don’t worry about it.” He wasn’t all too convinced with your response, but you didn’t want to say that you might be pregnant and get his hopes up if you weren’t actually pregnant. Then, your phone went off, and you speed walked back to the bathroom after a good 2 seconds of being frozen.

“You got this you got this you got this - oh my god.” You were hyping yourself up to look at the test in front of you, and once you did - there they stood - the 2 lines that signified your future. Even with all your previous anxiety, you couldn’t help but feel a weight be lifted off your chest. Now you knew for sure, and the reality wasn’t as scary as it had seemed before.

Hitoshi, who was very confused by your actions, followed you to the bathroom and leaned into the doorway. “What’re you doing?” You jumped a bit, having not noticed him come in as you stared at the test in your hand, but as you went to tell him the good news you were enveloped in a tight hug.

“You’re pregnant?” 

You nodded into his chest, and you saw him bite his lip to hold back a smile as he looked at the test again, “That’s so exciting kitten~”

Bakugou Katsuki

“Well… did you take it? What did it say?”

Katsu had seemed very inpatient to get you pregnant, getting more and more agitated with each time that the pregnancy test showed up negative. He didn’t blame you, it’s not your fault, it’s just you two hadn’t exactly planned around your ovulation cycle and kinda just went at it, so you started at a bad time. 

But this time, you had a good feeling. You texted Katsu as he was busy with hero work right now, saying that you were gonna try taking another test and that you’d tell him the results in a bit. He replied with a simple ‘okay’ but you knew he was staring at his phone waiting for your answer. 

The 5 minutes went by fast, your phone alarm distracting you from the Youtube video you were watching, and you calmly walked to the counter where you had left the test and looked at the results. And just as your gut had told you - it was positive. Finally, you were pregnant!

So, you called Katsuki, who immediately asked for the status of the test. 

“I did~ and guess what?”

“If you don’t say you’re pregnant I’m gonna kill you.”

“Well lucky for both of us, I’m pregnant!”

He didn’t say anything for a minute, the only sound on the phone being the background noises of the city and your occasional ‘Katsu?’ He soon came back to reality however, and let out a choked, “Great - that’s great.”

“Aww, don’t cry baby-” 

“I’m not crying! I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later, love you.”

Once he hung up you could help but laugh - poor thing was gonna start crying at work, but you couldn’t blame him.

Todoroki Shouto

While at work - during recess while you were watching all the little ones play around the playground, you suddenly felt yourself get extremely dizzy, and then - you woke up inside your classroom. All your students and a few teachers stood around you, one of the them telling the kids to go back to recess.

“Y/n, are you okay? You fainted suddenly.”

You nodded, already starting to feel better. “Yeah, I’m fine. Maybe I was just in the sun for too long.”

“10 minutes? If you passed out from being in the sun for 10 minutes you should go to the doctor. I can bring your class in with mine - do you want me to call your husband to take you?” 

“No, no… I’m fine-”

“Y/n - no. Go.”

Sighing, you nodded again, “Fine, I’ll go to the urgent care. I can take myself, no need to worry Shouto.”

As you promised, you made your way to the closest urgent care - it would be a big waste of time but at least you’d see if something was wrong. You arrived, checked in and all that business, and after a good couple hours you finally made it into the office and explained what happened and you just wanted to make sure you were okay. They did all their tests, and now you were sitting there waiting to see if there were any significant results. 

“So after looking at your results, it appears that you are pregnant! That’s very likely the cause of your fainting, as otherwise you seem to be healthy.”

Pregnant? You were pregnant? As you left the doctor’s, her having given you a bunch of information to find an OBGYN and all those things, you thought about how to tell Shouto. You considered calling him, but figured he would rather hear the news in person. 

He came home late at night - and you in your excitement were standing at the door creepily, scaring him a bit when he walked through the door.

“What are you doing love? Why are you smiling like that?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Shouto stared at you for a second, getting the gears in his brain working after a long day of hero work, and his face lit up into a big smile as he leaned over, cupping your face in his big hands as he kissed you softly. “I promise - I’ll be a good dad. I promise.”

Kirishima Eijirou

You had bought so many pregnancy tests in the past few months due to your eagerness to become a parent - every single morning after you spent it taking a pregnancy test. You had gotten used to the single line appearing on the little piece of plastic however, it seemed luck was not on your side as of late.

That is - until you glanced over the test after hearing your phone signify the 5 minutes had passed, and there were 2 lines. The second was faint, you had barely noticed it when you first looked - but it was there. Two pink lines, and you felt tears well up in your eyes. You were pregnant!

Running out of the bathroom and flopping onto the couch - you let out a happy scream. Eijirou, who had been happily sleeping all this time, walked out of the bedroom with a raised brow. “You okay baby? What happened?”

“I’m pregnant!!!” As you let out another happy squeal, Eiji excitedly ran over to you, carefully flopping himself down onto you and hugging you tightly. “We’re having a baby!” He was tearing up too - you were both so happy, after trying for so long you had finally managed to get pregnant.

“Do you think it’s a boy or a girl - I’m fine with whatever. Who’s gonna be the god parents? Ooh, we should probably call your mom-”

Eijirou was letting his excitement overtake him as he rambled on about the baby. You said nothing, instead choosing to watch your husband with a smile.

Amajiki Tamaki

“Bunny, can I ask you something?” 

You were lying on the couch, technically on Tamaki’s lap - having been extremely tired lately for no apparent reason - and just watching some Netflix. Tamaki had been worried about you since this sudden fatigue began, it being odd for you to be so tired all of the sudden. 

“Sure bub, what’s up.” 

He threaded his fingers through your hair, thinking for a moment before speaking. “Well… I was thinking about what could have caused you to be so tired lately, and - well, a symptom of pregnancy is fatigue, maybe thats a possibility?”

That’s true - you had been trying a bit to get pregnant, so you very well could be. “I can go take a test in a bit, after this episode.” You were still tired and didn’t want to get up, but this was kinda important, so you would pick yourself up in a few minutes.

Eventually, the episode ended, and you slowly sat up, ignoring the dizzy feeling in your head as you did so - heading towards the bathroom. “Good luck bunny!” Tama gave you a positive thumbs up and a big smile, obviously hoping that he was right. You smiled back at him and went into the bathroom, digging through the cupboard for the little box that held the pregnancy test.

You sat on the floor as you waited, the cold tile helping to keep the dizziness away. Tamaki had come to sit with you once you were finished, holding your hand tightly as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Bunny, y/n, look! Look at the test!” 

Opening your eyes, you focused on the test, and your eyes widened as you saw the 2 lines - “You were right, that’s great Tama!” You looked up at him to see small tears flowing down his face, “You’re pregnant. You’re actually pregnant…” He was in a slight state of shock, squeezing your hand tightly as he stared at the test with a happy smile.

Dabi

“Will you get pregnant already?”

“I never thought I’d see the day where you were fucked out.”

Dabi rolled his eyes at your comment, releasing you from his arms and rolling over in the bed. You had just woken up, exhausted and sore from your constant attempts of getting pregnant. Dabi was very dedicated to your goal - to the point where even he was overly exhausted. Boy needed a break. 

“I’ll go take another test.”

He hmmed, wanting to just go back to sleep, and you got up, stumbling a bit due to the numbness in your legs before catching yourself and making your way to the bathroom to grab a pregnancy test from the little pile you had accumulated - you were excited, okay? 

It was a very relaxed process - you had come to expect a negative result but you were hopeful for a positive one, so you were fairly calm as you waited for the results. You scrolled through your phone as you waited, until a few minutes later you decided to check on the test.

A big smile broke out on your face once you saw it, with the 2 very obvious pink lines. Immediately you ran out and jumped onto the bed, causing Dabi to groan loudly and hold the pillow tightly over his head.

“Dabi, come on, wake up - I’m pregnant.”

“It’s about fucking time.”

Pouting, you sat on his stomach and pulled the pillow off of his face. “Dabiii, I’m pregnant. Aren’t you happy?”

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into a hug, “Of course I’m happy. But I’m also tired as hell. Let’s go back to bed, we can celebrate later.”

Shigaraki Tomura

Leaning onto Tomura as he played video games - you attempted to calm your stomach down. You had been nauseous for a couple of days now for some reason, even having thrown up a few times - so you felt overall horrible. Sadly your attempts seemed to be in vain, as you felt the soup Kurogiri had made you start to creep its way back up your throat and you ran to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time to puke.

Surprisingly your boyfriend had peeled himself away from his game to come check up on you - he must be starting to get worried too. “Should I send someone to get you medicine?... Maybe they could grab some of those pregnancy things too -”

“Pregnant! Yes - get me a pregnancy test! That might be why I’m sick!” You knew you hadn’t eaten anything weird lately, and there was no one sick around so it would be odd if you managed to get sick - and with Tomura’s increased need to get you pregnant it made sense that you would be.

He didn’t say anything, just left the bathroom to make someone complete the said task, and came back afterwards to sit with you. Dabi walked in about an hour later, throwing some tylenol and a few pregnancy test boxes towards you before leaving, and Tomura excitedly handed you one.

You shoved Tomura out of the bathroom - since he didn’t want to leave at first - and took the test, tapping your foot impatiently against the wall as you sat on the sink counter, waiting for the alarm on your phone to go off. Once it did, Tomu ran into the bathroom, “Well? Are you?” Looking at the test, you saw two bright pink lines - a big yes. 

Laughing lightly at Tomura’s enthusiasm as he bouncing on his heels like a little kid, you turned the test to show him, “Yup, I’m pregnant.” His reaction was a bit underwhelming after all that drama - him just giving you a “Nice” before going back to his video game. But - later that night, when he thought you were sleeping, you swore you heard him crying as he held your stomach.

[sweetsubharry]

hey ! sorry to bother you but could you reccomend me some fics of footballer louis?? thank you !! love your acc

Hiya!!  💖you can never bother me!! ^-^ ohmgosh I’m so glad you like my blog! I love footballer louis djskasdhjag tysm(sorry it took soooo long!)

please make sure you read the tags and stay safe everyone!💖

Also these are not in any particular order, however I will say the first two are probably my favourites ;) I have to read them again right after this!

freeze this moment in a frame and stay like this by rosesau

Harry (not so) secretly crushes on the cute footie player and fills pages with sketches of him.

Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow by 1Diamondinthesun

Harry spends most of his time in an empty house or a lonely darkroom, dreaming of leaving his small town for art school. He's invisible to most people. And then Louis Tomlinson sees him. Life will never be the same.

Or, the American high school AU loosely inspired by She's All That.

Definition of Beauty by zanni_scaramouche

“Your book is upside down.” Harry nods at Louis’ book, his history text now that he sees it too.

“I’d rather study you.”

They both blink, startled by the slip.

“With you. Study with you,” Louis rushes to say. “Liam says I’m shite at history, can you help?”

Louis’ caught off guard by an omega he nearly takes out with an errant footie ball. It’s not that Louis’ never seen Harry before, it’s that he can’t stop looking, and he’s desperate to figure him out.

Coffee Cups and Football Boots by kimtaedumb

Harry’s stood behind the counter again, but this time he’s painting his nails. Louis strolls up to the counter and, thanks to his no brain-to-mouth filter, blurts out, “Isn’t that a little girlish, Haz?” leaning closer to inspect.

Harry lets out a little huff as his hand slips, “Oh, damn, now I’ve messed it up,” he pouts and turns to Louis, “Why should making myself feel pretty be girly?”

Louis holds up his hands in surrender, “’M not judging, jus’ curious is all.”

(The entirely cheesy and cliché Christmas AU, in which Harry doesn’t give a damn what people think about him – mostly – and Louis may be a little bit in love.

Alternatively, the one in which Harry owns a café that’s barely scraping by and Louis is a footballer and he takes Harry away for Christmas.

Featuring Zayn as a cocky little shit that most definitely needs to be put back in his place, Niall as the loveable Irish dude who drinks too much and flirts with Zayn more than the average girl, and Liam who loves everyone but hates them all at the same time.)

Way in the World by flowsque

When Louis Tomlinson enters the waiting room, Harry can distinctly feel his heart sinking to his stomach. The man's hair is ruffled and dishevelled and his red jersey, damp with sweat from training, clings to his perfect and chiseled body. He stands there, almost unreal, against the glass door, peering inside the office. Harry knew this would’ve happened, sooner or later. That he would have bumped into him. They play for the same club after all, even if they’re in different leagues. It’s not weird. It is not. Except it totally is. - Or, the one where Harry has a knee injury and an embarrassing crush on Manchester United's pretty number ten.

I Long For You by AnotherAnonymousWriter

Thirty minutes later, he's sat on a bench in Hyde Park with a book in his lap and a travel mug with hot tea in his hand. Not far from where he's sat, a group of boys are playing football and a bunch of children are chasing each other. Life is good.

Or at least, life is good until he hears a familiar “LOOK OUT!” and sees a football flying in the direction of his face.

And then everything is black.

(Harry gets hit in the head by various objects and falls for a boy with blue eyes.)

ease the quiet and talk me down by cabinbythesea

Harry's a model and Louis' a footie player.

(Louis teaches Harry some football and Harry is insanely good at giving a lapdance).

Baby, It's You by Bearandleonardwrite

"Oh, yeah. Um..” Harry lets his hands fall to his sides. His brows furrow, face full of concern, and he asks, “You’re not, like, stalking me, are you?”

Louis can’t help the loud cackle that escapes his lips and immediately slaps one of his hands over his mouth to muffle the sound. “Oh my god, Harry, no!” Louis tells him, a little breathlessly, giggles still bubbling out of his chest. “Lottie’s one of the makeup artists here today and she somehow got me to agree to come. I had no idea you modeled for, uh.. this brand until I saw you walk.”

“Oh,” Harry says dumbly, eyebrows still pinched. He lets what Louis just said sink in before a bright grin takes over his face and he goes back to doing up the buttons on his shirt. “Well, that’s alright, then. I’m glad you could make it.

(Basically, Louis' a footie player for Man U and Harry's a YSL model. They meet at a masquerade.)

Touch by kotabear24

Harry's shy and virginal with a past, new on the football team; Louis' the (experienced) popular star of the team and Harry's new mentor.

Come In and Change My Life by lightswoodmagic (sarah_writes)

He’d had the same neighbours since he’d moved into the building, a lovely, wealthy couple in their late sixties who had always invited him around for tea on Sundays. Martha had dropped off homemade biscuits the day he’d moved in, so Harry figured he may as well repeat the sentiment. He could hear someone getting closer to the door just as a flush ran through his body; oh fuck. His heat was close, too close to be knocking on a potentially unknown alpha’s door, but it was too late. The door swung open, and Harry’s mouth dropped. He’d never been overly interested in football, couldn’t find the fascination in watching men run around after a ball for hours aside from their uniforms, but he knew who this was. Louis Tomlinson, alpha, captain of Manchester United, star in a number of Harry’s heat addled fantasies, was his new next-door neighbour.

Or, Harry and Louis become friends when Harry looks after Louis' cat during away games, until one night at a party changes everything between them. It's just a shame Louis' going to be away for the FIFA World Cup for three months.

see the truth (it's me for you) by orphan_account

If you asked Louis the first day of his French Literature class what he’d be doing on the last, he’d probably never have guessed it would involve helping a poorly Harry Styles study for the final exam. Good thing he’s not a betting man.

(Or the one where Louis and Harry spend an entire semester ignoring each other after a one-night stand, only to come face to face when Harry manages to catch the stomach flu during finals week. Sometimes fate is funny like that.)

Use Your Words by zedi

based off this prompt: collage au where jock!harry always serenades flowercrown!louis with love songs in their music class. what nobody knows is that harry actually kinda means the words he sings.

But instead it's Louis as the jock and Harry as the flowerchild because I do what I want.

Stop The World (I Wanna Get Off With You) by ilikepianos

"You like this, don't you?", he asks breathlessly.

What? Sucking cock? Being dominated? Yes, all of that. A big fat yes.

Harry nods, lips still wrapped around Louis' throbbing dick.

Louis' lips curl into a smirk. "Keep going then. You're doing amazing, love."

OR: The uni-football AU where Harry may or may not have a minor crush on the captain of the team and suddenly discovers that the feeling is very much mutual.

Picture Perfect by LittleBubbleStyles

an AU where Louis Tomlinson is a misunderstood football player, and Harry Styles is a misunderstood photographer. Somehow, they're understood together.

I just think about my baby; I'm so full of love I could barely eat by mercutionotromeo

Harry and Louis are six hundred miles apart, but they have the same solutions to the same problem.

Or: a masturbation drabble featuring pillow humping, locker rooms, and copious amounts of dirty talk.

into another (another) serotonin overflow by mercutionotromeo

Harry wants this year to be different - wants it to be the year that he finally gets over this stupid crush. He’s going to uni, he needs to decide what he wants to do with his life.

Instead, he’s deciding what he wants to do to Louis Tomlinson.

Or: Sweet first time sex wherein Harry's adorably awkward, Louis is achingly cool, and Harry rides Louis wearing his jersey.

note: it says it in the tag but this is the edited version written in 2019, rather than the 2017 original- so there’s two put I put the link for the newest one :)

need a little sweetness in my life by mercutionotromeo

Harry's always liked feeling desperate and small when Louis touches him, but when he sucks Harry off...it’s fucking otherworldly. Desperate’s not really the word at that point - it’s helpless. Like… like the fucking world could stop spinning and Harry wouldn’t be able to do anything about it until Louis finished him off with his lips and his tongue.

Or, Harry and Louis go to university together. Harry really likes it when Louis sucks him off, and Louis really likes it when Harry calls him Daddy.

(Sequel to "into another serotonin overflow")

I made a map of your stars by brightbluelou

Harry does not have a crush on Louis Tomlinson. Yes, Louis is very pretty and funny, and Harry may have had more than a few inappropriate thoughts about him, but he certainly doesn’t like him. (Except for the fact that he totally does.) or, Harry is the shy boy in the back of the class that no one really notices. Louis is the loud, outgoing football player that everybody likes.

We Made These Memories for Ourselves by supernope

Breath held, Harry squints his eyes open and focuses on the first stick. A blue line. Harry breathes out an unsteady breath. He’s pretty sure he read that one blue line is a negative, but he fishes the box from the bottom of the pile just to make sure.

“Negative,” he confirms, voice echoing around the small room. “Next.”

Now that he’s feeling a little less shaky, he scans the rest of the tests at once, is met with a headache-inducing mixture of pink plus signs and blue double lines. His heart rate picks up until it’s pounding triple-time in the base of his throat and the pit of his stomach, thundering in his ears and throbbing in his temples. He flips over the rest of the boxes slowly, but he knows what they’re going to say before he even looks.

[or, Louis is a footballer, Harry owns a bakery, and they're having a baby.]

Kiss Me on the Mouth and Set Me Free by ls2k14   

Louis has his head thrown back in a laugh, his wet fringe hanging in front of his eyes, and a beautiful flush to his cheeks. From this angle, the sun hits his face just right to where the beams of light are shining in between the spaces of each individual clump of watered down eyelashes. His chest is showing through the soaked material of his white jersey and it seems that his biceps are attempting to break free from the sleeves that are clinging to his skin.

And Harry can do nothing except take it all in. He doesn’t even think he’s breathing at this point. He is literally stuck in place, admiring the true beauty of Louis Tomlinson, while being surrounded by fit footballers and generally attractive people. He doesn’t think he’s ever been in love before, but if Louis let him, he’s pretty damn sure he could change that in the matter of a few nanoseconds.

[fishyfod]

(Slightly) more organized thoughts on the V8 finale.

tl;dr I think the finale had some issues.

I’ll start this off by emphasizing again that this is my opinion, so read something else if you can’t handle negative criticism of RWBY. I say this because too often people in this FNDM can’t handle a difference in opinion without insulting or patronizing others, and I want none of that.

Now, RWBY’s general structural issue is a lack of time to fulfill all their ambitions, and they usually tend to neglect one aspect a bit more than others. In volumes 7 and 8 this proved to be quite a problem, because they wanted to tell quite a complicated story while introducing a fairly large amount of new and returning characters. I very much like the story they told in these volumes, but it must be said that the development and focus on the regular cast, and team RWBY in particular, has suffered for it. It’s not a deal breaker for me personally, but I do think it’s an issue.

So when I saw the finale episode only had about 20 minutes, I figured the best course of choice for RWBY would be to focus on the Atlas-only plots, and leave RWBY & co’s stories for the next volume, which by all accounts seems to be focused only on their character. And credit where credit is due, this is what RWBY decided to do with this finale. This doesn’t really solve the underlying issue that the main cast has yet again been relegated to such a minor role in their own show, but I can live with it.

I still do have a problem with how RWBY’s role in this finale was handled, and forgive me because this might be the least well-explained part of this review. The best way to describe it would be that, though I know I’m watching team RWBY, they don’t feel present in the finale? I struggle to put my finger on it, if it’s more an issue of direction or execution, but something about RWBY’s fight felt off for me.

By comparison, when I think of the episode before, I don’t have this issue. While the way Yang fell isn’t RWBY’s best execution, the reactions of RWBY to that fall worked quite well. There was individual focus on Yang falling, Blake screaming and raging at it, Weiss’s heart breaking into two, Ruby falling into more despair - the tragedy works because of it. I don’t feel the same about the finale, RWB fall almost as if they’re passerby rather than the main characters.

Again, maybe this is just me, maybe I’ll change my mind later. Whatever.

I think Cinder is the one I’m most satisfied with. She seems in character, she acts a lot like she did in her confident state during Beacon, and I did get the impression Salem knows Cinder is lying to her. I admit that I did not expect this direction for Cinder, it seemed like the right spot to have her break free from Salem, but it’s too early for me to call where her arc is going to.

The only nitpick I have with Cinder is how she offed Arthur. I felt like it could have a little more focus? I get that his death is supposed to feel completely inconsequential, but I wish there was just a little bit more there. Again, only a nitpick.

Vine - I think my opinion on Vine’s death is quite unpopular. It felt too last minute, without enough setup. See, while killing Harriet here would have its own set of issues, she was well developed enough where you could actively feel for her, while also expecting a possible death. I can’t say the same about Vine; Vine is only a teensy bit more developed than Elm, which isn’t a lot. He’s making a huge sacrifice, but the lack of character makes him seem expendable by design. It feels like the writers put all their efforts into threatening Harriet’s life, realized last minute that actually they could a lot more with her character (good call), so they shoved in Vine in her place because they still needed a bomb sacrifice.

On the flip side, three of the Ace Ops surviving and proving once and for all they broke away from Ironwood too, with Harriet and Marrow still alive - that is good. I’m not sure what more they’re planning to do with their characters, but it’s preferable to far worse alternatives I can imagine. We’ll see.

Then there’s Penny. sigh

I’m not sure what I can add that P5, bell or cosmokyrin, and probably a few others haven’t already said, but I don’t think it was well written. The whole body-thing in “Creation”, sure, I can accept that was a difference of interpretation. This? This whole, let’s resurrect Penny, develop her immensely as a character, reaffirm her autonomy multiple times over, avoid multiple deaths, only to die like this?

I know the common comparison people make here is with V3, and I can see where people are coming from. After all, Pyrrha and Penny’s deaths were impactful and tragic there, and most people agree that was well written. What’s the difference here? Some differences in circumstance are worth visiting here.

Penny of the Beacon era, lovable character that she was already, was not the most developed character. At the end of the day, most of what we knew of Penny then was in relation to Ruby - we knew Ruby cared for her a lot, we knew why they bonded, so we had setup as to why her death would impact the Fall so much. It works, because it gave enough focus on her for us to care about, but not overly so where the shocking factor of the Fall wouldn’t work.

With Pyrrha, I think we all knew the signs were there at the end of the day. I’d argue that Pyrrha’s very conception as a character lead to her death, she was just slightly too perfect for us not to expect a tragedy to occur. Importantly, her major arc in V3 sets us up to her death - through her conversation with Ozpin’s gang and Jaune, the introduction of Ember and the soul transfer device, killing Penny - by the time Pyrrha dies you’re prepared for it, and it still hurts. Even if the tragic scenario presented (losing Pyrrha because of the soul transfer) wasn’t the one used, dying because she tried defending the use of those powers from Cinder made sense. It was enough of a switch you weren’t bored because you expected everything to go to plan, but it wasn’t too drastic where you felt completely unprepared for what would happen.

The trouble with how Penny’s death was handled here, is in part because they just kept pushing us to the edge, making us worry about one tragic scenario, another way for Penny to die, only to alleviate our fears - only to kill her off anyway in a completely separate way. It happened so often in these two volumes, when we were already fresh off recognizing Penny wasn’t dead in V3, that rather than feeling like an expected death that is tragic, is feels like they toyed with out perception constantly only because they could. When you raise and lower death flags over and over in such a small amount of time, the tragedy you aimed to convey is lost. Perhaps unintentionally, the point no longer seems to be telling a tragic story, it’s only playing this cruel game of perception with the audience. What’s the joke about Jean Grey in x-men, that she keeps being killed off and resurrected so often it’s hard to care about it all? Is this how I’m supposed to look at Penny, RWBY’s Jean Grey?

Granted, I’m not sure that if they committed to one consistent death threat with Penny and followed through, that necessarily would’ve been better. I’m not sure how I’d think of RWBY if she died from the virus, for example. At least, however, I’d be more confident in saying that was a difference of direction, rather than a difficult writing choice to comprehend.

It’s only fitting I’d talk about Winter now, huh? I think you all know my stance about her as a character, I’d argue that she, Ironwood and Cinder were the best handled characters in these two volumes by a fair margin, but the finale leaves me very conflicted about her.

On the one hand, it’s everything I want. Winter’s confrontation with Ironwood is like a mix of Blake facing off against Adam and Yang confronting Raven, and while not as impactful in terms of storytelling, they do deliver on the same fronts. Winter calls out Ironwood for his lies, establishing once and for all it was by her volition she broke off, her conscience that was always better, and there is something poetic about her gaining the Winter Maiden powers to fulfill her goal of protecting others.

...but I can’t separate this from Penny’s fate. And it frustrates me to no end, because I love her connection to Penny, I made comparisons of how it reminds of Bumbleby’s relationship, it drives their characters forward so much, heck, I like that Penny took a part in taking down Ironwood with Winter, in a sense. But because Penny’s death feels so contrived, its connection to Winter almost cheapens the importance of their relationship with each other. And it doesn’t seem quite needed either, since they individually as characters already broke free from Ironwood.

I can sort of see that I am supposed to interpret it as a tragedy, and I do indeed think Winter getting the Maiden powers is tragic for her character (not unlike Spring Maiden!Yang theories), and I am excited to see where this is going. I thought this was the end for Winter’s major impact on the story, but there’s a whole other arc waiting, and Penny’s a major part of it too.

To say I’m conflicted about Winter would be an understatement.

The actual silver lining, for me, is the post credit scene. Volume 9 is an opportunity for RWBY to try and change some of the problem I presented initially. My hope is that by focusing almost exclusively on team RWBY, with Jaune and Neo, and putting less emphasis on developing the settings of giant-tree-land and not over-complicating the plot. Hopefully, this would allow them to focus on developing the main cast again, in in particular addressing some of the main issues presented; notably, the Bees confessing, Ruby maybe reaching her breaking point, Yang’s issues being addressed, and hopefully something more individual for Blake and Weiss as well. Neo is an interesting curveball to throw into this equation, and I have a decent amount of hope with Jaune (although then I remember it’s probably going to be about Penny, and, ugh...).

Yeah, that’s all I have at the moment. If you want to talk about it, my inbox and DM’s are always open. If you disagree with me that’s fair, just give me the minimal amount of respect rather than being an ass about it.

[chicoriii]

Season 4, Episode 1 - Vérité (Truth)

I still block spoiler tags, and I don't plan to unblock them at least until I watch the Shanghai special (then we will see), so I might not know things you know and I haven't read others thoughts about the episode. 

In my opinion it was the weakest start of the season. It wasn't completely terrible episode (still better than the other one with akumatised Luka), it just wasn't my thing. Stormy Weather is one of my S1 favourites (I love fighting scenes!), The Collector is just perfect as the start of a season, and I even enjoyed Chameleon more. It's one of the most salted one in the fandom and I don't think it would be in my Top 10 S3 episodes, but it still feels much better as the first episode than Truth. It would be better if it wasn't the first episode, in my opinion. Especially because of almost completely lack of Adrien. I miss him a lot now, also since he was absent in Furious Fu as well.

People who read my posts know that I'm not fond of Luka and Lukanette, so I can't get invested in an episode focusing on him and this ship. But I don't dislike him and the ship only because they exist or they are messing up with the Love Square (I love Kagami and don't mind Adrigami the way it is, though I'm not shipping it and I prefer them being friends), I dislike them because of the way how they are portrayed in the show. And while Luka himself got some things I wanted to see, I didn't change my opinion about Lukanette anyway.

Despite avoiding spoilers, I've seen few screenshots of this episode before seeing it, including the end card, so I expected that Luka would be akumatised because of discovering that Jagged Stone is his father. But no, that was again because of Marinette. But at the very least he wasn't completely happy that she’s missing their dates. It was the first time when he has shown being negatively impacted by Marinette herself. Finally he has shown normal human emotions.

But it doesn't change that Luka is still overly glorified by the show's writing, he is still portrayed as a perfect boyfriend cliché. He knows that she prefers Adrien over him, but he is ready to wait for her forever. Sweet and I'm sure many girls, especially the teens, are very charmed by him, but I don't think it's healthy. He should let himself to give up on her, as she will never like him as much as Adrien, and be open for a girl who would love him truly, not treating him like a rebound.

In this episode we've seen Marinette regularly forgetting about their dates or being late or leaving him too soon, because of her superhero and guardian duties. But could you imagine her forgetting about a date with Adrien? I can't. I don't blame Marinette at all, but I can't see her duties being the only reason why their relationship doesn't work to which the narration tries to convince us. She still has the wall full of Adrien's photos and she doesn't seem to treat Luka seriously as her boyfriend. I think it should have been addressed in the episode that she doesn't like Luka as much he deserves (I dislike him as a character, but he is a very good human being) and this is one of the reasons why they need to break up. I don't like that it's portrayed like her being hero and guardian is the only problem.

I feel bad for Lukanette shippers because almost the whole ship has been reduced to a unfunny joke. I'm not mad about it because I don't ship it anyway, but if I was I would be angry. Even Frozer episode was much sweeter for this ship than the only one in which they were in a relationship. There was no real romantic moments (maybe instead that one on the bridge), and even their interrupted kiss felt rather cringy. Thank goodness I'm not Lukanette shipper. 

It's not that I'm surprised as I expected something like that, but really what's the point of the rival ships if they are breaking up in the first (and second, I suppose) episode? I have never thought the show needs rival ships, but they seem to be even more pointless now.

In my opinion the episode with Luka akumatised should have been focusing more on him discovering that Jagged Stone is his father. Since it's the start of the the season it was necessary to how to the audience how Marinette is dealing with Kwamis and the first action of Shadow Moth. Another reason why it should not have been the first episode of S4. Also since Lukanette was an important thread of the episode, there was no enough room for father-son issues. So it was portrayed very shallow. Well, maybe we will see more of it later.

The beginning scene with Kwamis was so sweet and quite entertaining. Tikki wearing hats was so adorable (Is it just me or her French voice is even more squeaky than before? Definitely the weakest voice in the French dubbing). But I think Kwamis act too much childishly (it bothered me in Furious Fu as well). They weren't like that in Sandboy. I understand that they are excited to be out of the Miracle Box and see the real life, but it was a bit too much for me. Okay, I think they should calm down later and they were like that in Furious Fu because of Master Fu. Still I enjoyed the beginning of the episode the most, including the process of fixing the peacock Miraculous. Thought I agree that Shadow Moth's designs is ugly and feels off.

I'm also not a fan of Chat Noir acting like a clown, so I quickly got tired of it in the episode. But I liked that Ladybug was forced to say she likes his jokes, so salters can't say she hated it anymore. Not that they could even say it before, but now he have a hard proof that she has always secretly liked his sense of humor.

[stellarcat52]

Timeless Blue chapter four

Okay so here we are. I apologize I have no skills in writing dialogue for extended periods of time. Also hadn’t specified any sort of sleeping arrangements, Krel has his own room, and that’s where a good portion of this chapter takes place.

Krel and Douxie were not on good terms. Krel blamed Douxie for letting Merlin find out about the time travel mess, and Douxie didn’t like how Krel wasn’t helping to repair the timeline. Claire just wants to keep her boyfriend safe and get home and Steve’s newfound obsession with being a knight is honestly not helping the group in any way.

And due to pretty much everything, from Arthur’s distrust in Krel, to Douxie’s and his disagreements, to Claire’s annoyance every time they fought, everyone thought it better that Krel stayed in Camelot for as long as he wasn’t needed.

He almost snuck into the party, but after seeing Douxie knock out his past self and take his place, he knew it would be difficult and not worth it.

So while Douxie, Claire, and Steve were busy trying to fix the relationship between Morgana and Arthur, while also keeping Jim and as many trolls as possible alive, Krel was making sure Hisirdoux wasn’t going to lie in the street all day.

So Hisirdoux Casperan, woke up in the room where the extraterrestrial guardian of Arcadia was staying, to a blue, four armed prince experimenting with previously hidden materials. A book from the Alchemists in the village lay open on the desk in front of him.

“Woah.”

Keel jumped in his seat, turning around to the apprentice. “Great your awake.” Krel’s eyes were rolled and he turned around.

“What’d I do? I’ve only just met you!” Krel froze whatever he was doing, the soft glowing in his hands faded slightly as he stopped focusing on what was in his hands.

“Right. I’ve met your future self, not you.” He set down the materials, turning back at the apprentice, who was very confused. “You but with blue hair.”

“Yeah I know. You’re saying I meet you in the future?” Krel nods, turning back to his curiosity-driven work. “Wow... I must be really lucky. So what are you working on?” Hisirdoux got up to look over Krel’s shoulder.

Keel pushed him away with one arm, continuing his work with the others. “I’m trying to figure out how that gauntlet of yours-Douxie’s,” he looks back quickly to take not of whether or not Hisirdoux also has the gauntlet, “works. If I could figure out what material it was made of I might be able to mimic it.”

“Well, I’m no master wizard, but I don’t think you can make magic with metal.” Hisirdoux grinned and lit a small blue orb of power in his hand, pushing his way forwards so Krel could see it.

“Trust me. If you were a master wizard, you’d be more unbearable in the future.” Krel turned back around, fully this time, to face Hisirdoux. “Why don’t you go back to the wizard tower? The only reason I didn’t put you there myself if because the amount of knights still in the castle scare me. Also I don’t remember where it is.”

“Yeah, took me a little while to get the grounds memorized too.” Hisirdoux settled for sitting cross legged besides Krel, a birds eye view of the Akiridion’s failures and progress. “Magic isn’t something you can create you know.”

Krel pushed the comment aside, continuing to putter with thin metal strips and attempting to draw the magical glyphs only seen briefly before from memory. “Shut up or be helpful. I have broken the laws of physics before. I shall not-“

“If you tell me that story, I’ll show you the glyphs again, you’re writing them all wrong.” Douxie interrupted, holding out his gauntlet in front of Krel’s work.

Krel grabs his hand. “Deal.”

———

Douxie’s memories were changing, he didn’t notice at first, but he realized that he met Krel way before Arcadia. Their conversations entered his mind as they happened, even though he was nowhere near the Akiridion or his past self. What definitely wasn’t helping was that very vivid thought and image. A glowing character, in once unfamiliar alchemical dress, with a sarcastic tone of voice, and his immediate thought, calling the creature beautiful, then handsome, and worrying why he already didn’t like him.

Thankfully, he didn’t need to focus on the changing memories yet, he needed to protect Arthur and repair his and Morgana’s relationship. He had to save te future before he can worry about the weird feeling in his stomach after remembering the arguments the night and morning prior. For once, the constant checking of the time map wasn’t only due to nerves, and Merlin’s nagging was welcomed.

———

Krel and Hisirdoux spoke casually, explaining their culture to the other and complaining about the future Douxie. Hisirdoux wasn’t the best with words, and Krel slipped up his charismatic act because of how different the apprentice was to the other wizards he had met.

Krel’s study in magic didn’t do very well until Hisirdoux had an idea. There were magical materials in Merlin’s tower, and not many people would attempt to stop a wizard’s apprentice from entering the wizard’s tower. So they snuck in, nobody questioned it and nobody tried to stop them.

Immediately Krel tried examining everything. Crystals and books all seemed so interesting, especially if they did hold some magical secrets that he could unlock. However, nothing seems to react to anything he tries. There’s no glowing besides the king-in-waiting’s natural light and Hisirdoux’s spell, no sound beyond the natural, not even a smell that seemed mystical in some way.

It was nearing sunset, and the time the group returned, when the magic stuff was mostly put aside. Krel could consider Hisirdoux a friend, but still disagree with Douxie, right? Hisirdoux was awkward and at some points overly polite, but still try and help Krel figure this out despite believing it impossible. Hisirdoux even showed Krel the beginnings of a song he was working on.

Finally, Douxie, Claire, and Steve return, both Hiridoux and Krel knew to give them time.

Krel didn’t return to the room the team gathered in at all that night. He was given his own room, so it didn’t seem strange that he didn’t. Morgana was dead, Excalibur was gone, Douxie had failed his friends and the future. Keel was the least of his worries. Except the changes in memory weren’t. Even now, memories were coming to light and honestly it wasn’t an unwelcome distraction.

Douxie walking into Krel’s room after trying to speak with Merlin, the exact words didn’t last this long but the whole tone of the occurrence wasn’t as casual and happy as the ones from earlier. Krel was worried, spilling every negative thought about the time traveling incident to the past self of the cafe boy. Krel was crying, something neither Douxie had been previously aware he was capable of in his akiridion form.

Douxie lay alone as his past self listens to Krel’s worries, how much he already misses being home, how he wishes he could help, but also how much he regrets this. Keel starts ranting on what things he could have changed to prevent this all from happening, even going as far back to not opening the door for Douxie the other night.

Douxie starts thinking, what could he have done to prevent this. Maybe if he had fixed Morgana and Arthur’s sibling bond, maybe if he hadn’t opened the portal in time, maybe if he helped Archie find the staff sooner.

He falls asleep wondering if time stopped for Arcadia, or if Merlin and Archie are left to fight the Order in the future with everyone else they left behind, or if they thought that he was dead.

Part Three, five

[missfay49]

Just Look

Summary: Logan and Virgil get to know one another at college.  Just a very fluffy, slice of life, analogical comfort fic.  Some real-life-style joy.  

Warnings: food mention, covid awareness, mentions of past emotional abuse

Word Count: ~2613

AO3

"here"

Virgil hits send on the text and looks up from his phone to the entrance of the campus garden.  

It's a warm morning for September, so he's wearing some loose jeans, a grey t-shirt and the new mask he just got in the mail - black with a picture of vampire fangs on it.  He hangs out awkwardly by the front entrance for a couple minutes until Logan appears from inside.  He's wearing jeans, too, with a long-sleeve white shirt and gardening gloves on.  A dark green mask is hanging from one ear.  It swings when he nods Virgil in.

"Come on in.  I tried waving, but you couldn't see me," he says, turning around to lead the way.

"Sorry," Virgil says, hopping to follow close behind.  Logan turns his head back, looking confused for a second.  Then his eyes crinkle and he smiles.

"Oh, no worry." 

They walk in quietly.  There are only a couple other people in the garden this weekend, and they're on the opposite side from the plot Logan leads him to.  The rows of plants loom all around.  Virgil doesn't exactly have a green thumb, so he was already skeptical when Logan invited him to come out here, but at least he had seemed to understand he wouldn't be getting any great help.  

Logan kneels down on a blue foam board, putting a hand on an identical one to his left.  Virgil drops onto it with a thump.

"I haven't really been around anyone; do you want me to put my mask back on while we work?"  Logan asks.

"Nah, I haven't really either.  I was able to get most of my classes online now."  Virgil settles into his spot and pulls his mask off, looping it onto his arm for safekeeping.

"Okay, I'm here.  What's the plan, teach?"  Virgil looks around at the tools spread out around them.  Logan claps his hands together once and smiles.

"So glad you asked.  We're going to try some root vegetables this semester."  Logan points out each tray of seedlings in turn.  "Beets, turnips, green onions, kohlrabi, radishes, and parsnips.  Although I hear broccoli also does really well this time of year.  Did you know if you leave it alone, broccoli will bloom into flowers?"

“Huh.”  Virgil stares at the trays.  "Really?"

"It's true.  We can get a head of it from the store later.  Just put it in water and it should work."

Virgil picks up the first tray and wonders if buying broccoli would count as getting himself flowers.

Logan starts going over the plan and tells him the names of all the tools.  Shears.  Weed puller.  Hand rake.  He shows him how deep to dig, how to remove the seedlings from the tray, how to space them out using their hands as measuring sticks, and how much to water each one.  

"I didn't bring any gloves," Virgil says when he realizes Logan is still wearing a pair.

"Not a problem.  I'm done weeding, so I don't actually need these anymore."  Logan says, pulling off the gloves and putting them in his back pocket.  "It's better if we work with our bare hands anyway, thanks for reminding me.  I'll explain why in a minute."

They get to work.  Virgil's head is spinning but he grits his teeth and digs each little hole as carefully as he can.  All the while, Logan is talking about the dirt in astounding detail.

"-Mycobacterium vaccae.  It's incredible, really.  They live in the soil, and studies have shown that just touching it can raise a person's serotonin levels.  And a doctor who gave her cancer patients regular doses of it found that they were happier and livelier.  It did not help with the cancer, unfortunately, but exhaustion is one reason cancer is so hard to beat.  When they tested it on rats, the study said it was like they were on antidepressants."

Virgil tries to listen and work at the same time but after the third time Logan has to remind him the tiny shovel is called a trowel, Virgil rubs his eyes.

"Logan?  For real, why did you ask me to come help you.  I don't know what I'm doing."  Virgil asks, looking lost.  

"I know that," Logan says.  "That's why I wanted to show you."

"What, because I'm clueless?"

"No, because it can help you.  That's why I've been talking about M. vaccae."

"About what?"

"My-ko-back-tear-ree-um-vah-key," Logan claps along.  "The microbes.  In the dirt!  It can literally make you happier.  You mentioned the other day how anxious you've been since classes started up again.  Not to mention that the repetitive nature of this kind of physical work has also been proven to help people relax.  It provides something to focus on and allows for time to practice mindfulness."

"Oh.  That's kind of awesome."  Virgil looks around like he's seeing the garden again for the first time.  

"Right?  When it gets cold, the club is going to set up a greenhouse with the architecture students.  That way, even on the worst days, you could come out here and work off some stress.  I'm already here all the time, so you don't have to worry about fending for yourself.  And that tree there, the evergreen, the garden club says we'll get to decorate it in December.  I'm interested to see how they'll get power all the way out here."  Logan squints, no doubt imagining an elaborate series of inappropriately used extension cords.

Virgil stills for a moment.  Logan gets back to planting, looking over at him once or twice.  The man is clearly trying to figure something out.  Logan recognizes that look very well.  Eventually, Virgil makes up his mind.

"I had an ex," he says, "who used to tell me, every time I was having a terrible day, 'Don't worry.  This isn't the worst day ever.  It's just the worst day, so far.'  Every time."

Logan scoffs and looks at him with both eyebrows raised.  Virgil rolls his eyes and shrugs.  

"I am certainly no expert," Logan offers, "but that doesn't seem very comforting."

"It was not, no," Virgil shakes his head.  He focuses on getting exactly the right depth of soil in the ground for the next seedling.

"That's… not okay," Logan says.  When Virgil doesn't respond, he leans forward to try to catch his eye.  

"It's not," he says again.

Virgil just shrugs again, sparing him a quick glance.

"I mean, he's not wrong.  There are always going to be worse days."  He seems to slump a little as he tries to explain it.  Logan is shaking his head already.

"While that is technically possible, it's biased toward an overly negative outlook.  There will also be better days ahead.  Great days, even.  And anticipating a bad future when you're already feeling bad about the present is only going to make things seem more impossible to overcome.  

"I mean, he always said it like it was supposed to be comforting.  Like a joke, to lighten the mood.  It just… didn't work for me."  Virgil looks at Logan, searching his face.

"If that was supposed to be a joke, let's hope he never gets into comedy."  Logan shook his head harder this time.  "I can't imagine why someone would say something so cold.  And repeatedly.  And when it didn't even work as intended?  Honestly, okay, now I'm a little annoyed, what the heck?  Did he want you to feel bad?  Ridiculous."  

"Maybe he did."  Virgil says.  Logan looks at him, shocked.

"Maybe he did want you to feel bad?"  Logan realizes maybe this story is a little deeper than his dismissive attitude is suited for.  

"I don't know, sometimes I just," Virgil sighs.  "I don’t know how to explain why he did things, really.  Any of it."  He stares at his lap, biting the inside of his mouth.  

Logan softens, just a bit.  

"Well.  I hope it's alright if I confess, I'm glad he's your ex," he says.  "He sounds mean."  Virgil smiles, but keeps his eyes down.  

"Sorry I made it weird," he says.

"It's not weird.  It's just… life."  Logan says, bumping their shoulders together.  Virgil hums and stretches.

They work in silence for a few minutes, making their way slowly down the rows.  After a while, Virgil tsks and looks at Logan's handiwork.  Each plant is spaced out so evenly, it almost looks like a video game farm.  

"How did you learn so much about gardening?"

"Community service."  Logan says offhand.  Virgil blinks and turns his full attention on him.

"What?"  He huffs out the question.  Logan doesn't seem to have heard him. 

"Also, from Marideth Sisco," he continues.  "She does a podcast on NPR.  Have you heard it?  Sometimes I catch it in the morning, but I can never quite figure out their broadcast schedule."

"Wait-" Virgil is grinning now.

"I guess I could look it up."  Logan pauses for a second, deep in thought.  Then he shrugs, apparently giving up.  "I haven't really tried that hard."  

Virgil puts a hand on Logan's shoulder.  The man looks up, hands still digging in the earth methodically.

"Logan.  Listen to me, this is important.  You've done community service?"

"Oh, uh, yeah.  Yup!"  Logan waits a second, glancing down at the plants and wondering if that answer is going to be enough.  Virgil just stares at him, shaking a little from a chuckle.  

"Your hand is really warm," Logan notices out loud.

Virgil snatches it away and shoves both hands into the loose dirt, gripping handfuls of it.  For the microbes, he tells himself.  

"Stop deflecting!" he says, staring hard at his fistfuls of soil.  "What did you do community service for?  Oh, wait, was it like a volunteer program?"  He tilts his head, waiting for Logan to respond.  His smile drops when he sees Logan's face.

He looks so, so pensive.  

Virgil's really excited now.  Wide-eyed wonder levels of excitement.

"Logan, what did you do?"

Logan heaves a sigh, rubbing the side of his neck in agitation.  

"I…" he starts before sighing again.  "I may have set… a small fire… to the science lab when I was in high school.  And even though I didn't mean to, obviously!- they didn’t take too kindly to it since I was, uh, there… after normal school hours."

"What do you mean "after hours", like… at night?  Like, you broke in?"  Virgil's whisper is becoming downright conspiratorial.

Logan looks vaguely embarrassed.  He presses his lips together and sits up, planting his hands on his thighs and slouching.  Virgil is practically vibrating at this point.

"You broke into the school to do rogue science and ended up setting the building on fire?!"

"Well, Virgil!"  Logan brings a clenched fist down on his own knee with a huff.   "They wouldn't let me access the chemicals I needed for my experiment!  At least not in any reasonable quantity.  I had to break in!"

"Oh, my god, Logan.  You rebel.  You absolute troublemaker, you're a delinquent!"  Virgil puts a hand to his mouth to cover up his laughter.

"I am not, jeez.  It was one time!"  He can't help it, he's smiling.  "That is, at least-" He crosses one arm and puts a hand to his chin, looking at Virgil sidelong with a smirk in his eyes.  "-they only caught me the one time."  

That's the last straw.  Virgil starts cackling and Logan glances around to see if the other student gardeners have noticed.  They have, and the looks on their faces just make him join the laughter, doubling over to hide his face behind Virgil.  

"How many-?"

"Shut up!"

"Oh, my goodness-"

They bump shoulders again and Virgil rolls onto his side on the ground, laughing so hard the corners of his eyes are wet.

After a few minutes they compose themselves and keep working, giggling every now and then.  

"One tray left," Logan announces, putting the seedlings between them.  

Virgil leans over and Logan thinks for a second the man is going to headbutt him.  He is rather cat-like, after all.  But, instead, he feels something pinch his shoulder and tug on him.  Virgil has a corner of his shirt between his teeth and he's baring his teeth up at him.  He growls, smiling, and Logan barks out a laugh.

“What are you doing?"  He swears he can see Virgil's pupils dilate.  But the man just releases him without a word and gets back to work like nothing happened.  Logan watches him, the gears in his head spinning on all cylinders.  

"What are you waiting for, Lo?  Let's finish up so we can get some lunch.  My treat.  I gotta thank you for showing me all this, somehow."  Virgil doesn't look up to see if Logan's going to respond this time.  

Logan's feet are bouncing underneath him.  

"Deal," he says and grabs the next seedling.

Epilogue

Virgil is standing with his back to a snow covered dormitory, looking up at the full moon through the steam of his breath.  The cold air on his eyes feels clean and brittle.  He tugs a hood tighter around his head.

A door closes behind him and he turns to see Logan in a bomber jacket and a beanie, lightly kicking the front porch to get his boot on right.  He crunches salt on the ramp and joins Virgil on the sidewalk.  

“Ready?”  Virgil asks, knowing the answer.

Logan smiles and offers his elbow.  His glasses are already starting to fog up.

“Oh, so fancy,” Virgil teases him.  He smirks as he loops his mittened hand through Logan’s elbow.

“Lead the way,” Logan gestures down the street with his free arm.  “I can’t see a thing.”

“Yeah… it’s this way.”  Virgil tugs him in the opposite direction and they make their way toward the center of town.  

When Virgil spots Orion, Logan tells him how to navigate at night by finding due south.  When Logan hears a cat chirping in the brush, Virgil tells him about the Egyptian goddess Bastet, and how black cats really get a bad rep nowadays.  They talk and laugh and go a couple streets too far but pretty soon they’re back on track, no worse off for missing their own timeline.  

Most of the students are back home for the holidays now and the chill keeps much of the rest of town from making an appearance.  They take their time looking at the decorations in each business’s display windows, strings of lights crisscrossing overhead.  They dash across to the town square in between meandering cars, slipping on the ice and laughing from the adrenaline.  

Logan quiets when Virgil comes to a stop and sees colors blinking across his upturned face.  He turns to find they’ve arrived.  Towering over them is the largest evergreen he’s ever seen, every square inch covered in lights and bows and wreaths.  He takes a deep breath, the cold air filling his lungs, and lets it all out.

“Wow.”

Virgil has a smug look on his face as he gazes up at the tree.  Logan bumps their shoulders together.

“Hey,” he whispers.  “Thanks for showing me around.  And thanks for being my friend.”

“Dude, stop being weird.”  Virgil shoots Logan a look and starts tugging on his jacket strings absentmindedly.  “You don’t have to thank people for things like that.”  

“Well, a little clarity never hurt anyone.”  Logan adjusts his glasses as if that settled things.

“...Fair enough.  Let’s go get some coffee.  I know a place.”  

Logan just nods quickly, realizing he’s shivering.  They make their way up the next block and duck through a glass door, getting blasted by the warm smell of coffee and cinnamon.  It’s good.  

It’s so good.

~~~

@sanderssidesgiftxchange​ @winterknight1087​

[craftypeaceturtle]

Our Influence

Summary: AU where when the sides touch they exchange a small influence. So how did the dark sides interact...

Note: Not written as overly shippy but read either way I guess! This is a part two but I feel like you can read this without having read the first (read here). Not entirely happy with how this is written by hey ho! 

.

“Hey Fear! Get over here...” Remus cried out without turning around from his creation. It was another attempt at a monster, perfectly designed for hiding in Thomas’ closet. Tendrils and beady eyes stared lifelessly back. 

“I do actually have other stuff to do y’know...” Fear muttered before leaning completely on top of Remus, his arms awkwardly dangling from where he flung them over his shoulders. Fear closed his eyes immediately with a peaceful sigh.

“Yeah yeah...” Remus scoffed as he scooped up Fear’s hand. He closed his eyes and let the feeling wash over him. An understanding flowing gently through him. He ignored his own insecurities coming to light and focused on the beast. It was like seeing through someone else’s eyes. The monster now seemed almost terrifying. Its eyes were like a lizard’s, constantly staring with an intense look despite not seeming to focus on anything. The tendrils were the perfect length for grabbing feet that stuck out from the covers. But, it moved too normally. It moved just like anything else. Not anxiety inducing enough... Remus experimentally twitched and threw his head around before making the creature copy the movements. Twitchy snaps that made it look even more reptilian. “What do you think?” 

“I hate it,” He chuckled, “I like how you remembered the eye thing!” Virgil demonstrated bugging his eyes out while Remus simply laughed him off.

“Yeah, at first I thought that would be boring but it really is the blood splatter on the corpse!”

“Ew!” 

“Are you two finished yet!” Deceit suddenly snapped as he stormed into the room. “We don’t have much time, his mum has already left!” 

The three sides instantly jumped into action. Deceit made sure to cuddle the both of them under his arm so to keep their focus on the task at hand. His influence blocking any other thoughts or doubts. After some rushed bickering, they settled for the creature to materialise out of the jacket that was hanging on Thomas’ closet. Once it was in place, they appeared around Thomas’ bed in a tight huddle; invisible to the boy but their thoughts seemed to ring around his head. 

“Oh Thomas, I’m sure you’re perfectly safe...” Deceit whispered with a fake joyfulness, he almost sounded like Morality. Remus giggled frantically before Fear slapped a hand over his mouth. 

“But what if you’re not! Anyone can break in at any time!” 

“Oh it definitely wants to eat you! But what if it’s like a spider and slowly melts you first! Ooh! Or or... what if it uses those tendrils to throw you out the window.”

Once Thomas started snivelling, they all excitedly squealed before rushing to sink down. Once they all rose up again, Remus cackled joyously and grabbed them both into a tight hug before they could even orientate themselves.

It wasn’t often that they carried out a massive plans like this but Deceit had specifically asked for it for his birthday. It was fun and all, planning out all these nightmares, but it was nothing compared to the adrenalin of actually doing it. Seeing how far they could go before Logic stepped in. Deceit had a massive grin as Remus pressed him tightly into shoulder, despite Deceit being so much taller. Virgil rolled his eyes at the antics while stifling his own giggles into Remus’ outfit. As they all caught their breaths, they all snuggled deeper into the others. Deceit’s influence flowed through them, making it harder and harder to focus on anything but the excitement of doing that! Any thoughts on how Thomas might be upset seemed like whispers behind a shouting glee of ‘oh did you see Thomas’ face’.

The dark sides had always been close. Their influences to each other was what kept them sane and allowed them to do their best. They had to be close! They were the rejects. Where would they be if they started turning their backs on each other? 

Remus needed Fear’s understanding on negative emotions so he could better create terrifying nightmares. Although he wouldn’t admit for many years, it also turned his own fears and storm of ideas into a calmed puppy rather than a roaring beast. Deceit also helped him to keep his mind on track. Virgil calmed the storm and Deceit’s influence helped him find the very best idea out of them all. There was no way he would be able to scare Thomas without either of them.

Fear thrived off of Deceit’s influence. The ability to calm his mind and forget his worries was the only reason he could practically stand most days. Without him felt like hiding from a hurricane without any clothes on. It just wasn’t worth even trying. With Remus as well, he was like an actually functional side! He had ideas and could see whether an idea would work. He knew that he would be nothing without either of them.

Deceit loved Remus’ influence the most, despite how unfair that felt to say. Ideas and scenarios swam gently through his mind. How could he get better at lying? What lies would work in this scenario? Why didn’t this work like last time? He recognised that he could turn to Roman for the same influence but of course that would require being able to get close to him. 

Then there was Fear’s influence. 

A headache would slam against his skull, his brain feeling squished, every time Virgil sadly nuzzled further into his arm. Deceit wasn’t even sure he actually felt Virgil’s influence. All he ever felt was the resounding pain and exhaustion every time they touched. It got worse the older they got. He remembered being aware of it when they were maybe six years old, but then it was only like getting pins and needles. Not painful, totally manageable. But now it felt like a needle pressing through his skull. Until now, Deceit managed through it knowing just how much Virgil needed this. Until now.

Deceit sighed. His mind screamed ‘stop’ but he wasn’t stupid enough to keep going through this. Thomas was nine and therefore they were only nine years old too. But Deceit’s mind was settled. Scraps of plans were scattered around him like some sort of halo. This was for the best. It had to be... He would just talk to him and hopefully limit or stop exchanging their influences. 

They had just finished dinner and he waited carefully until he knew Remus wouldn’t be leaving the imagination any time soon. Bless him, he still thought that it was a secret that he met Roman in there. Fear was tucked into his side as usual. He snickered beneath his breath. Surely that was a given. Not worth pointing out! Where else would he possibly be. “Fear, can I talk to you?” He spoke, slowly pushing Fear into sitting on his own. 

“Uh...” 

“There’s no nice way to word this,” Deceit lied, “Your influence can sometimes be a bit much.”

“What do you mean...” Virgil had paused before responding. He melted into Deceit’s side just as he always would. Something even vaguely uncertain and he’d burrow away. Deceit’s influence made everything so sluggish, Virgil frowned trying to decipher what he could mean. The only thought slipping through Deceit’s denial influence was confusion. 

“Well,” Deceit sighed but his stomach clenched painfully, “That is just who you are! You are Fear. So naturally your influence is unpleasant. Well, unpleasant is a strong word. But you get the point...”

“Okay... But what if I’m... okay that’s fair but I’m not sure... Um I... Okay.” Deceit snapped to look at him. His face slacking and his jaw falling open. 

“Do you think that you are something other than Fear?” 

“W-what! No! No way! Of course not! W-where on earth did you get such a... s-silly idea? Deceit... oh y- No.” Fear didn’t move. 

“You want to try again.”

“Maybe? For a little bit now...” Fear awkwardly made eye contact but the room seemed stifling, “I’m thinking I’m Anxiety? Or maybe something similar and I just don’t know the word yet. Heh... I mean I thought I was Paranoia for awhile there but I- I mean I worry about real stuff too. I’m not strong enough to be Fear. I’m pretty sure I’m Anxiety.” The side was whimpering and his eyes nervously spanned across the room. All his inner thoughts and worries just spilling from him without any control. He wasn’t even sure who he was but now he had told someone! Now he had to be sure. He curled tighter and tighter. 

Deceit sat back for a second. This wasn’t at all in any of his plans. There was no reasonable way he could’ve predicted this. Was his influence so strong that he forced him into denial about who he truly is? Years spent under a name that didn’t suit him? No... Deceit breathed. He started this conversation for a reason, “Right. I’m glad you’ve figured this out. At least a little. But this does raise a good point. So you’re Anxiety...” He trailed off. 

“Uh... sure,” He stammered.

“Does Anxiety sound like a good thing to spread to others?”

The other side’s chin was starting to wobble and he tried to inch further away from him yet never actually moving away from his touch. He sighed. He looked positively pathetic like this. Tears made his eyes look somehow even bigger, his hands nervously clasped under his chin and even his black hoody now seemed too big and scary for such a side. He cupped the back of his head and pulled him tightly into a hug. Surely, he could wait a few more days to tell him. “If it makes you feel any better, I think I’ve finally chosen a name. Don’t worry about what I said. Just... dear old Janus being silly.” 

Janus hated himself for backing out. But Anxiety was like his brother. Maybe he could just keep going on. The influence wasn’t exactly like a headache, just more like an intense tiredness. Nothing bad! Surely it wasn’t worth this upset. If it ever did get too much then he can just actually talk to him again.

Anxiety’s identity crisis seemed to slow after a few weeks, longer than anyone expected, but it seemed like he was glowing now. He was so much more energetic but obviously that still was partially from him and Remus. To be expected. This time though, Janus took a different approach, “Hey Remus. Do you mind talking?” Janus asked as he settled down on Remus’ bed. He was sitting at the desk with his eyes bulging as he tried to manipulate whatever daydream was forming. He waited patiently by examining just how filthy his bed was today- not that bad considering. At least that means he should be in a good mood.

“Yeah, what you wanna talk about?” Remus finally seemed to process Janus’ words and snapped up unnaturally. 

Deceit looked up, “Well, this might seem like a bizarre question, but do you like Anxiety’s influence?”

“What? Of course I do! He’s the only reason why I know about Thomas’ fear of spiders!”

“No! I meant... more in general. The feeling.” 

“I mean yeah! It makes everything so much easier! Instead of feeling all gross and like I’m going to vomit, I just know I’m feeling nervous that we’re going to get caught or something. Why? Do you not like it?” Remus frowned. He looked at Janus like he was looking at him for the first time ever. His words had stilted and slowed towards the end. His eyes widening. Janus felt his gaze like a searching light. But obviously nothing had changed. Well, Anxiety wasn’t glued to his side, hiding under his capelet as he always did. Janus shrugged, hating how his own eyes were watering up, and walked over to Remus. Remus dazedly hooked his arms around Janus’ shoulders. His face stared blankly past his shoulder. “What does this mean? Are you lying to us, because you said you wouldn’t do that with important stuff! Does this mean I can’t go near Virgil? When did yo- No, have you told him? Why... What! What does this mean!” 

“I don’t know just yet... But I think you should stop worrying about Anxiety and give him space,” Janus whispered and allowed his influence to stop all those thoughts. 

Remus had loved his fifth birthday party. It was such a treasured memory. At the time, he loved finally showing Fear and Deceit his slowly growing kingdom and the entire land. The different creatures, carefully balanced to form an actually sustainable ecosystem, to the different houses made out of hollowed out trees. Everything was obviously doused in a good dose of weirdness but it all functioned in its own world. They went exploring in caves, though Fear got mad at him once he figured out he kept changing the tunnels deliberately. He loved when they made themselves bigger and attacked a village. But looking back, the best part was afterwards. The entire time they all held hands. So natural that no one even questioned and wanted both of their hands available. But it was when they came back to the mindscape and all fell asleep on the sofa. They must’ve looked like an overfilled graveyard- bodies just piled on top of each other. 

They had always been close. Remus could count the times they were completely separate on one hand probably. 

“Your influence is a bit much right now Virgil. It’s like agreeing to give myself a headache,” Janus muttered and turned away from him. Virgil deflated. That had to have been one of his worst panic attacks ever, Remus thought after he heard the gasps from Anxiety’s room. He kept asking if he was allowed to go in but Deceit kept saying that it was ‘probably the best to leave him alone’. It was such a small thing! What a cry baby! You left just because of that! He probably didn’t even mean it! It was such a small thing! Janus was so obviously just tired that day or something. Remus spent years screaming at anything that reminded him of Virgil.

Remus was older now. He wasn’t an idiot. That was simply the straw that broke a very fragile camel. Virgil had just told them that he wanted to go by a name, just like him. Imagine telling someone you’ve picked a name out for yourself and then being denied the very next day. Janus had probably already told Virgil that he didn’t like his influence but it only then just hit Virgil? Maybe... Janus of course never liked to talk about what actually happened. That one poor comment was just poor timing.

Right now, he wanted to go up to the light sides and apologise to him. Hell, he could even go to Patton if he really wanted to for tips for a good apology! But he knew that the second he saw him, all those childish accusations and anger would erupt again. His head throbbed painfully. “Ugh, what am I even worrying about! It’s not like I would actually go apologise... Heh, if only Virgil was here. Then maybe his influence would make me realise what I’m even worrying about,” Remus smiled to himself, drooping off his chair, “I guess Janus will do.”

Janus wasn’t surprised to feel Remus drape over him like the dramatic cat he was. It was like clockwork. Now barely a day passed when he didn’t have a green and black lump glued to his side. It was practically a part of his uniform now. He had to laugh. Of course it was years too late before he realised it wasn’t Virgil’s influence that bothered him, but rather his own. 

It made no sense, he kept lying to himself. It was so rare to feel your own influence or be drained by giving people your influence. Or that was what Logan’s research found. Janus resented that his experiences always left him drained. Virgil had too many constant rushing thoughts and anxieties for him to cover up. Yet, without Virgil’s influence, the Duke now has too many constant rushing thoughts and anxieties for Deceit to handle. They had all depended on each other and now they were missing a piece. A headache slammed against his skull, his brain feeling squished, as Remus sadly nuzzled further into his arm. 

Remus laughed at just how much he now depended on Janus. Surely Janus would always be there for him to burrow away in, always. He swore he would be once they realised that Virgil wasn’t coming back. His remaining constant.  

Why would he ever want to leave...

[connordavidscamera]

First Date | Connor Brashier

A/n: this is a repost from my Shawn account!! This is my piece and is not stolen. 

Summary: neither of you are ready for this night to end. So what if it didn’t?

Warnings: switches POVs

Word count: 2.3k

***

“The night’s still young,” Connor says, looking at the clock on the dashboard.

I rest my head in the palm of my hand and look up at him, “What should we do?”

“We could just drive around. I’ve still got a full tank of gas if you’re down.”

I check the charge on my phone, it’s still at eighty percent, so I shrug. “Okay. Let’s do it. Where to?”

“Nowhere. Everywhere. You pick. Don’t even think about it. Just say the first thing that pops into your head.”

I nod. “Okay.”

“One… two… three.”

“The beach.” We say at the same time.

He smiles, “Then I guess we’re going to the beach.”

I shake my head, “Connor, the closest one is like two hours away.”

“Then I guess you should tell your roommate that something came up and you’re not going home tonight.”

I gape at him. 

“What?” He asks with a chuckle and I notice just how beautiful he is when he laughs.

“What are we even doing?” I ask in disbelief.

He turns on his signal light and merges into the empty lane next to us. “We’re having fun. Come on, it’s one night. Just do something crazy with me. Let’s go out to the water and watch the sun come up.”

“You’re insane, you know that?”

“I do.”

“This could get us in trouble.”

“With who?” He laughs and takes the hand that is currently holding my head in place. “Y/n, it’s no big deal. But… if it’s really bothering you, I don’t mind taking you back to your apartment. We can call it a night and I’ll take you out to the beach for our second date.” The sincerity in his voice makes me melt. But all I could focus on was that he wants to go on a second date with me.

I don’t say anything for a while, chewing on the inside of my cheek. 

“Well, what’s the verdict? I can get off at the next exit if you want.”

I don’t realize it, but I shake my head. “Keep going.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” I place our laced hands in my lap. “I want to.”

“Okay,” Connor beams and focuses back on the road in front of us. “I guess you better get comfortable, we’ve got a long drive ahead of us.”

I’m good just like this, I think but can’t bring myself to say as I smile stupidly at our joined hands. I feel him glance over at me again and I involuntarily shrink under his gaze. 

By midnight we’re cuddled up on the hood of his truck with coffee and snacks, talking about everything under the stars. 

“So wait, you were how old?” He asks, dumbfounded.

“I was six when I first started playing piano and was classically trained by eight. I can also play guitar, harp, cello, and the drums.”

He stares at me in amazement. “You're… wow. You’re fucking phenomenal.”

I shrug off the compliment, “I wouldn’t say all that.”

“You don’t have to. I just did.” He nudges my shoulder with his and smiles down at me. “What other hidden talents do you have?”

I hum and look up at the dark, never ending sky, lit by the moon and stars. “I did ballet for six years. From age nine to fifteen. I hated it.”

“What else?” His chin rests on his arms which rest on his knees. He’s so eager to get to know me and I don’t know what to do about that. I wasn’t used to the attention.

My face burns, “I, uh, have a tattoo. My parents know nothing about it. They’re really strict about that kind of stuff." 

"What is it? Where is it?”

I tuck my hair behind my ear. “Let’s go for a swim.”

“What?”

I slide off the hood of his truck and shrug off my cardigan. “Let’s go swimming.” I kick out of my sandals and place them over my discarded cardigan. 

“The water has to be at least negative three degrees.”

My jeans are next to go. He’s not at all fazed that I’m stripping right in front of him. “There’s only one way to find out.” I lift my shirt from my chest, revealing my rib tattoo, just peeking from under my red lace bra. “You coming or what?” I wink at him before turning around, skipping toward the ocean. 

The sound of his feet hitting the ground makes me smile. I’m thigh deep in the cold water before he catches up with me. “This is crazy, you know that?”

“Well how do you expect to drive all the way to the beach to not even get in the water?”

Connor chuckles and takes my hands. I stare up at him, smiling wide. “You have the most adorable smile.”

I bite my lip and look down at the water crashing against us. “Yeah? Well yours isn’t so bad, either.”

He boops my nose and I scrunch up my face. “You’re so cute.”

“Shut up.”

“No,” he shakes his head, “I mean it. You are downright adorable and I think… I could probably spend every waking moment with you if you let me.”

“Really now? You think you could handle that?”

“I do.”

“Well you are lucky, because I might want that too.”

“So,” he looks at my side where my inked skin is on display. “What’s the tattoo mean?”

“A little bit messy. A little bit ruined. A beautiful disaster. ” I swallow, “It’s a quote from my favorite book. I uh, I got it during one of my dark periods a few years ago.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Very much,” I nod.

“Can I feel it?”

“Sure,” I take his hand and place it just under the wire of my bra.

—

Her fingers are cold against mine, but I revel in the feeling. What we’re doing is far from what I expected to happen. I was just hoping to get a kiss by the time I dropped her off. But now I’m here, in just my boxers, freezing in the ocean with her. And she stands before me, eyes closed, breathing uneven, in nothing but her bra and panties. 

I run my fingers gently over the soft skin of her stomach and that’s when she shudders against me, making me melt. It’s intimate being this close to her, and something in me wants this to last forever. She looks so pretty standing in front of me, not a care in the world, just looking like the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on. Her hair falls carelessly in her face, covering her burning cheeks. The moonlight basks her in this angelic light and I’m afraid that if I close my eyes, she’ll be gone.

I don’t realize I’ve been staring for so long until a cold gush of water hits me and I stumble back. Y/n’s laughing, no doubt at my shocked face, clutching her stomach. “Sorry,” she clears her throat. “This was just getting too serious for me.”

I wipe at my face, shaking my head. “Oh you’ve started a war.”

“No!” She says already starting to back away from me. 

“Yes,” I lunge for her and catch her before she gets too far. She squeals, her back flush against my chest. I spin her around a couple times before I throw her in. 

“Connor!” She screams, and stupid me very curiously wants to know how my name would sound when she screams it in different circumstances. 

We play around in the water for a while. Splashing and throwing and ducking and diving. It’s the most fun I’ve had on a date ever. This girl has me totally whipped and she doesn’t even know it yet.

After we’ve become all shriveled and the water has become too cold to be bearable, we make our way back to my car. I pull out a couple towels from my trunk and she narrows her eyes at me. “You just have random towels with you at all times?” She asks when I wrap one loosely around her shoulders.

I take mine and run it roughly over my damp hair. “My mom was always overly packed when my brother and I were kids. I guess I just took after her in that aspect. I always have extra clothes and blankets and everything.

She hums, gripping the towel tighter around her, her teeth chattering. "That’s cute.”

“You’re cute,” I muse. “Come on, let’s warm you up,” I walk around her and open the passenger door for her. She smiles gratefully and slips in. I take our clothes from the hood and walk back around to the driver’s side. I blast the heater and see her visibly relax. The dash reads twenty past three. “We still have a couple hours before sunrise. What should we do?”

She shifts in her seat to face me better. “Tell me about film. Like what made you want to do it?”

I sigh, “It’s dumb.”

“I’m sure it’s not,” her hand rests on my bare bicep. “Come on. I really want to know. I want to know you. I’ve told you probably everything you could possibly know about me. Now it’s your turn.”

I hum, “Okay. I guess - I started when I was pretty young. I always liked photos. I still do. But there’s just something about videos. When you can hear and see and feel the energy radiating from the crowd. Pictures are great, don’t get me wrong. Videos are just that little something extra. You get to fully relive a moment instead of just thinking back to it, when you can forget minor details.”

She smiles. “You’re amazing. You know that?”

My face flushes red and I rub the back of my neck sheepishly. “I’m okay, I guess.”

Another hour passes of us just talking about anything, we make our way back out to shore about an hour before the sun comes up. We’re walking hand in hand, neither of us particularly dressed - my jeans hang low on my hips, exposing the waistband on my boxers,  and she’s in my sweat top. The sleeves are so long, they bunch up at her wrist so she can comfortably hold my hand.

“What do you think about travel?” I ask her, looking down at her while she looks over the water beside us.

“Travel… hmm. I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to, it’s just hard with classes and stuff. Hard to find the time to get away, I guess.”

I nod, “Yeah, I get that.”

“What about you? You travel a lot with Shawn. Do you enjoy it?”

“Yeah. No, it’s amazing. Exhausting, but amazing.”

“What’s your favorite place you’ve been to?”

“Italy was nice, I really liked Spain too.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to Paris. It’s basic, I know. I just always thought it looked pretty.”

Well maybe I can take you one day, I think to myself. “You’ll go someday. I’m sure of it.”

We sit down a short while later and I lean back on my hands as I watch her pull her messy hair into a bun. I want to kiss her, run my thumb over her cheekbones, feel the crushing weight of her lips against mine. She catches me staring and covers my eyes playfully, “Connor, stop!”

“What?” I take her hands and tangle our fingers again.

“You’re staring again,” she says, leaning into me, her head resting in the crook of my neck.

—

For a second my eyes flutter shut, but I will the sleepiness away. “What time does the sun come up?”

“Not for another twenty minutes. You got time to take a nap." 

I snuggle closer to him, loving the sea salt smell that coats his body - the scent in itself like a sweet lullaby. But I shake my head, "No, I’m okay. Let’s just,” I yawn. “Let’s just stay like this for a little bit.”

“We can do that,” he wraps one arm around my waist and we stay like this until the sky starts to become lighter and bluer, a comfortable silence still falling over us.

“It’s so pretty,” he says quietly, as if speaking any louder would ruin the moment.

“Yeah, it is.” I yawn again and bury myself into him again.

He chuckles. “You okay there?”

“You’re comfy,” I mumble. “Could fall asleep right here.”

“And I would love nothing more. But I unfortunately have to get us back home.”

“No,” I whine. “Don’t wanna go. Wanna stay here with you.”

“Well I guess we could stay a little longer. How about I take you to breakfast?”

“Like a second date?” I look up at him through hooded eyes.

“Well I haven’t taken you home yet. This is technically still date one.”

I smile, “Okay.”

He pats my thigh and I remove myself from him so he can stand. When he’s done dusting himself off, he holds a hand out to me. We’re dangerously close to each other as the sun basks us in the six o'clock light. His hands detangle from mine and find their way to my jaw. I’m extremely aware of everywhere my body touches his, and before I have the nerve to pull away, his lips are covering mine. I hum and wrap my arms around his neck, playing with the tufts of hair that would touch his collar if I wasn’t wearing his shirt. His tongue slides into my mouth and he bunches up the shirt, pulling me closer to him. 

When we pull apart, he rests his forehead against mine, trying to catch his breath. “Let’s go get you something to eat so I can get you home.”

I mock hurt. “Dang. Okay.”

“No,” he laughs. “Because if I take you home, that means I can take you on a second date. Maybe tomorrow?”

“You’d think after 15 hours you’d be tired of me.”

He shakes his head, “I don’t think I ever could.”

***

I hope you enjoyed (again)! Please, like, reblog, and leave feedback!!

[bitchnha]

What if I confessed to you in the rain?

Kirishima watched Bakugou scowl up at the sky in pure disgust as rain began to trickle down. The water was like little crystals dropping down, only to shatter as they hit the ground. Kirishima couldn’t help but find the scene in front of him pleasing. Despite Bakugou’s deathly look, it looked like it came from somewhere out of a dream. As the water softly hit the angry blonde’s skin (which was apparently punishable by death) the droplets easily evaporated into steam. The watery mist rose above, casting an otherworldly look to the blonde.

“Ugh fuck the fucking stupid ass weather.” Bakugo said, still scowling up at the sky, and as if it had heard him the rain started to come down faster. “Oh fuck you! Stupid Mother Nature.” He grumbled before shifting his gaze away. “Let’s go.” 

He turned away from Kirishima and began to stomp off having blind faith the other would follow (he did). Though as they strode away back to the dorms from their interrupted run Kirishima’s mind couldn’t help but wander. 

You see, he had a crush on none other than his best friend, Bakugou Katsuki. It had been about a year of stewing in his feelings before they had begun to fester into something greater, something a bit scarier. He hadn’t wanted to ruin the friendship with a confession, but it seemed it already started to face ruin. His feelings were getting harder to hide the closer they got.

Even now as they were simply walked to find shelter he couldn’t take his eyes off the other. Bakugou had begun to grow damp and his hair was deflating to Kirishima’s utter amusement. In a way it was like looking at a wet puppy. 

Being this lovestruck he knew he had to confess and get over it. Maybe they could laugh about it later. Maybe, possibly, there was a small chance Bakugou liked him back. Though he knew that was just him being overly optimistic. He at least knew his best friend enough to know he secretly cared, and wouldn’t react super negatively or judge him. 

Point is, he knew he had to do it, but never had the right moment. Though walking through the rain brought up some ideas. It was no secret Kirishima loved romcoms, it was manly to have pride in what you enjoyed. Romcoms were his second favorite genre, the first being action movies. So much of his favorite rom coms, or even romance novels had a confession in the rain. The rain always added to the dramatic and romantic atmosphere. He often dreamed of being confessed to in the rain.

It was perfect.

Before he had even realized Kirishima had grasped Bakugou’s wrist. To his surprise it was mostly dry from the rain, and Kirishima felt goosebumps rise on his skin from its warmth. 

Of course this stopped the blonde in his tracks. Bakugou promptly turned around, eyebrow raised and scowl ever present. His red eyes were focused immediately on Kirishima’s own. Behind the blonde’s famous scowl he could see the confusion.  Kirishima removed his hand. 

Oh shit. 

He wasn’t even ready. This was definitely way too impulsive. Why did he grab him before planning his speech? Oh god. He hadn’t even committed to the idea yet. Did the movies also have these awkward pauses? Had he ruined it. What the fu-

Bakugou’s scoff broke through the pitter patter of the rain before his voice followed. “What the fuck is it shark face? What you want to just stand in the fucking rain?” 

Kirishima could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and his mouth go dry. His throat felt like a fucking dessert, and if he hadn’t had his hands already wet from the rain he would be able to feel their clamminess. 

God this was a dumb idea, but manly people don’t back out of their confessions in the rain. Okay this was it. This was a good idea. A good place to confess. He shit his eyes for a second to compose himself, imagining the last heroine of the movie he had watched. Yes, Vanessa. She had been manly as fuck, strutting up to her crush in the pouring rain like a goddess and confessing her feelings. He channeled his inner Vanessa. He could do this. 

“Bakugou, I have something to tell you.” He rushed, flinching at the crack in his voice. That wasn't very Vanessa of him but he pushed through. “I-“

A flash blinded him momentarily followed by a loud boom cutting him off. He could feel the sound rattle his bones and entire being. It was the loudest fucking thunder he’d heard in his life. He practically felt his heart stop in shock, and his soul ascended. 

It was raining harder now. 

Of course it was the universe that wanted to spite him.

Bakugou unsurprisingly seemed unfazed. The manly bastard.“What?!” He shouted right after the sky assaulted their eardrums. “Do we have to fucking talk in the rain dipshit?!” 

“Ughhhh” Kirishima rolled his eyes in frustration. There was no way this was happening after all the failed attempts of confessing. This was supposed to be romantic, but of course due to his luck it had to go this way. Any of his romantic endeavors with Bakugou always tended to blow up catastrophically right in his face.

Why did he even try?

No! His inner Vanessa yelled.

He grit his teeth, he had to do this. 

“I like yo-“ 

Boom. 

FUCK!

It was much louder this time and Kirishima almost shit himself in surprise. 

Bakugou rolled his eyes. “I can’t fucking hear you let’s go!” He shouted, looking undeniably pissed at this point. If Kirishima couldn’t tell by the tone of his voice he could definitely tell by the large clouds of steam rolling off him. 

Kirishima clenched his fist. “No!” He had to do this or he would never try again.

“WHAT?!” Bakugou shouted back, hands cupped around his mouth so his voice could break through the sound of the rain. It was pouring at this point and Kirishima was drenched. 

“I SAID NO!”

Bakgou growled, Kirsihima definitely couldn’t hear it over the rain but he had watched Bakugou enough to know what it looked like when he did. 

 He shut his eyes and braced himself. 

“WHAT THE FUCK SHITTHAIR LET’S GO! YOU’RE FUCKING CRAZ-”

“SHUT UP!” His voice boomed making the overpowering sound of rain seem quiet. 

Bakugou's mouth fell open in shock and he just looked perplexed. Probably because Kirishima didn’t often yell at him. The blondes face defiently looked dumb, of course being able to shout louder than him would make the other shook. Kirishima rolled his eyes.

“I SAID LIKE YOU!” He shouted. He couldn’t tell if his hands were shaking from the cold or from adrenaline. 

Suddenly he felt a hand around his wrist,  and he got yanked forward. A noise between a gasp and wheeze escaped his  mouth. Quickly his eyes snapped open in alarm, watching as Bakugou yanked him as he stomped forward. 

Well fuck. He was probably mad. That confession did not go as planned. Vanessa would not be proud. Kirishima only sighed. 

Bakugou's hand was tight around his wrist. It was incredibly warm and Kirishima was worried for a second that he might get burned, but he knew his best friend wouldn’t do that. Bakugou was walking fast and Kirishima was practically tripping to keep up. Was this Bakugou’s angry stomp or his hurried stomp? Oh god what if it was the hurried angry stomp? Kirishima did not want to be around if it was that. He could break away from the others' hold, and run away to another country. That wouldn’t be manly though, so he simply submitted to his inevitable demise. Kirishima closed his eyes preparing for whatever angry face, and harsh words he’d surely hear. 

Sooner than expected, he was yanked forward harder than before and felt Bakugou grab his arm in order to force him to a stop.

Huh, he couldn’t feel the rain anymore. The iconic sound of rain hitting a roof came to his attention. So they made it to the building. He swallowed, it was much quieter. 

He was afraid to open his eyes so he kept them shut. If he didn’t see it, it technically didn’t exist. Therefore Bakugou was currently non-existent and all was fine. Wait? Was he still holding his arm? Oh shit his grip was getting tighter. Kirishima cursed in his head, the blonde did exist if he was making physical contact.

He swallowed, he might as well say something. “I’m sorr-“

A warm pair of lips met his, stopping any bit of ability he had to speak. They were rough and the mere force caused him to stumble back, but two hands wrapped around his waist tightly stopped him from moving. Abruptly it registered in his brain that Bakugou was kissing him, and he let out a startled gasp. 

Oh fuck. That was a manly move.

Kirishima fumbled with his hands before finally resting them awkwardly on Bakugou’s shoulders. His blood was rushing in his ears. Was he doing this right?

Kirishima tilted his head a little and relished in the way their lips slotted together better. His confidence was boosted by the successful move and some nervousness faded. His arms wrapped around Bakugou’s neck, feeling desperate to get closer to the warm body pressed against him. 

The other grunted before squeezing him even tighter. Holy fuck this was good. Bakugou was so damn warm. It felt great through his cold damp clothes, he could feel his shivering cease. 

All too soon Bakugou pulled away. Kirishima’s eyes snapped open immediately as the pressure left his lips. He felt his whole face flush as he rushed to catch his breath. Eyes locking onto Bakugou’s red ones. Surprisingly the blonde was also flushed, though not as winded. Butterflies spazzed around in his stomach, and his whole body felt like it was flying. Is this what drugs felt like?

A huge smile stretched across Kirishima’s face.

“What weren’t going to kiss me in the rain bro?” He spoke breath barely above a whisper. 

Bakugou scoffed. “What kind of dumbass confesses in the rain Kirishima?” 

“Your dumbass apparently?” Though even as he said it, still wrapped in Bakugou’s arms, he felt doubt return, and his smile faltered. 

The other smirked slightly, a huff of air coming from his mouth in exasperation. “Yeah. My dumbass.”

Maybe confessing in the rain was a great idea after all. A terribly great one. 

The end~

My first bnha fic! Had to be Kiribaku, I had to do it to em. I will be posting a lot more of my writing on this blog. I haven’t done requests before but I’m open to them! My ao3 is here.

[kthstrawberryshortcake]

Hanging by a Thread

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: angst with a happy ending

warnings: language, sexual themes (it’s pretty mild tbh)

word count: 2,540

This came basically out of nowhere. My brain just spit it out one day. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Also very minimal editing was done with this, be warned. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You couldn’t keep going on like this. It had been three weeks since you’d heard anything from Yoongi and thus far you’d been continuing on like nothing was wrong, like not hearing from your boyfriend for weeks at a time was normal. You knew he got busy, and him disappearing into his studio for days wasn’t unusual, but three weeks was a long time. Three weeks in which you’d tried to give him space, but your calls and texts had gone unanswered. You’d even tried to take food to the studio, both to make sure he ate and to get a chance to see him, but after waiting for an hour as you called and texted to ask him to open the door, you had given up. You’d left the food outside the studio and texted him to let him know it was there. 

You knew nothing had bad happened to him or anything like that. Your best friend Taehyung had told you as much. He was the one who had introduced you to Yoongi in the first place over a year ago. There were people who would tell you that you should’ve expected this. You had entered the relationship fully aware that he wouldn’t be the overly affectionate, clingy boyfriend, and that was more than okay with you. This had gone far beyond that point, though. It wasn’t a lack of publicly displayed affection, or even a lack of affection, but rather the complete and total lack of attention, a failure to even give you signs of life. Plus there was the one conversation you’d had right before he went AWOL, one that had seemed to go well at the time, that you wondered if it had anything to do with Yoongi’s sort of disappearance. 

  At your wit’s end, you decided the only way to keep from going entirely insane was to distract yourself with the company of friends. That’s how you ended up on the couch at the BTS dorms, wrapped up in your best friend’s arms. Your head was leaned against Taehyung’s shoulder as tears rolled down your cheeks. Jimin and Jungkook were also in the room, immersed in playing video games. “You want me to punch him for you? Because I don’t care if he’s my hyung, he can’t treat you this way. I didn’t introduce you just for him to be a jerk.” Taehyung murmured to you. You sniffled a little. “It’s not worth it Tae. I just wish I could bring myself to give up on him, maybe I wouldn’t hurt so much.” You sighed. 

Right at that moment, you heard the door open and slam shut, then footsteps. “WHAT THE FUCK?!” Yoongi roared, standing behind the couch where you and Taehyung sat. He looked positively livid. “So what, are you cheating on me now? With him? Or what explanation do you have for being practically on top of him?” He hissed, his words dripping with venom. You stood up quickly, glaring at him. “Oh, you don’t get to be jealous right now. After the stunt you’ve pulled the last few weeks? Excuse me if I need my best friend to comfort me when you’ve been treating me like shit.” You yelled back. 

All eyes were on the two of you. Yoongi’s expression softened ever so slightly. “I’ve been focused. I’ve been working.” He said in an attempt to defend himself. You shook your head. “Okay, fine, you’ve been working, great. Whatever. I’ve tried not to bother you. I always try not to bother you. But am I supposed to assume that your phone and laptop are broken and you’ve had no internet or cell reception? Because that’s the only actual excuse for this radio silence you’ve been giving me.” You retorted, not about to back down now. He looked slightly less certain now. You were trying not to start crying again, angry and heartbroken all at once. “Is this because I won’t fuck you?” You demanded quietly but harshly. You clenched your teeth, giving him a hard stare. Yoongi looked shocked, then extremely sad. “Do you honestly think I care that much about that?” He asked in almost a whisper. Your mind flashed back to three weeks ago, just before Yoongi fell off the face of the earth. It had started innocently enough, the two of you sitting on his bed and talking. Then the affection he only ever showed in private pulled you in: a small peck, an arm around you, a warm smile. You're head over heels for this man. Next thing you know you’re straddling him, hands on his shoulders as he trails kisses down your neck. You hear a soft whispered “I love you” and you feel as if your heart will burst. You cup his face in your hands and pull him up to you, crashing your lips into his. His hands are on your hips and things continue to get more heated. Somewhere in the fog of being entirely drunk on your love for each other both your shirts find their way off of you. Your kisses grow passionate and messy. Then you feel one of his hands start to unbutton your jeans and you freeze. You pull away and look at him, your nervousness and uncertainty clear on your face. “I’m not ready. I love you more than you know but I’m just not ready for this, I’m sorry…” He can tell you expect him to react negatively so he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. “That’s okay, baby. We don’t need to rush” He replies reassuringly, and you visibly relax. You’re so relieved. “Want to just cuddle?” He suggests gently, and you nod. The two of you reposition yourselves so you’re snuggled up next to him as he lays on his back, your head resting on his chest. Moments like this make you feel so loved. They remind you how lucky you are to have Min Yoongi. You had felt totally reassured about the matter after your conversation, but now that he’d basically ghosted you for the three weeks following it, you weren’t so sure. You took a deep breath. “I didn’t think you cared about it, no. But what am I supposed to think? Almost immediately after we talk about it you disappear, zero contact?” You said in frustration. “Do you even want to be in a relationship, Yoongi? Do you just see it as a distraction you can’t afford?” You asked, fearing his answer but truly just needing honesty at this point. “No, of course that’s not what I think. I love you, I don’t want to lose you. And please for the love of god don’t think that me being distant and distracted has anything to do with sex, because I don’t really care about that. I just care about you.” He replied earnestly. 

You were so conflicted. Could you trust his words when his actions had so strongly suggested otherwise? It wasn’t until this moment that you realized the entire maknae line was witnessing your very emotional conversation. You focused on breathing evenly and slowly, trying to calm down. “I need a little time to process. I can’t continue talking about this right now. I’m too upset.” You admitted quietly, glancing up at Yoongi before looking at the floor. You covered your face with your hands, shaking your head. Yoongi respected your request for space and went to his room. 

  Taehyung then put a comforting hand on your shoulder before quietly suggesting “let’s get a snack.” You nodded, walking to the kitchen with Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook right behind you. Jin, who was leaning against the kitchen counter looking at his phone, looked up at the four of you as you entered. He saw the distraught look on your face and the boys’ grim expressions. Jin frowned in concern. “What’s wrong?” He asked, and the four of you looked at each other in an effort to figure out who would tell him and how. Taehyung, who was probably the angriest at the moment, decided to answer. “Y/N’s fantastic boyfriend decided to ghost her for three weeks, and, oh yeah, he also timed it so she thought it was because she wouldn’t have sex with him.” he grumbled. You looked at him kind of uncomfortably, not sure you would’ve phrased it that way, but deciding not to correct him because it was technically true. Jin looked shocked, then sympathetic, hugging you. “Our poor little duckling. That’s awful. Sounds like you could use some brownies.” He said, ruffling your hair a little. “We’ll cheer you up, kiddo, don’t worry.” He started pulling ingredients out. Jungkook took a tentative step toward you like he was afraid you’d fall apart at any second. “Hyung shouldn’t have treated you that way, noona, but it’ll be okay. No matter what happens it’ll be okay, you have all of us.” He said softly, causing Jimin to nod in agreement, giving you a supportive side hug. The boys were succeeding in making you feel at least a tiny bit better, and you were grateful for it.

-----------------

Days passed and you still hadn’t been able to figure out what to do about Yoongi. He’d called and texted, of course, but you hadn’t actually spoken to him beyond vague replies to keep from avoiding him entirely. You reflected on how the last three weeks had felt for you. You had felt lonely and sad but most devastatingly, you’d felt completely unwanted. Your relationship had felt one-sided, like you were the only one who cared at all. Every relationship has road bumps, ups and downs, things to work through. The problem here was not that things weren’t perfect but rather that you didn’t know if you could trust Yoongi to be 100% with you in trying to make it better. A slow decline with a long time of you struggling alone to fix things would be worse than ripping off the band-aid, so to speak, and ending it now. 

But you considered seriously how it would feel to end things. Just seriously considering it was enough to take your breath away and bring tears to your eyes. That was the main thing, that you didn’t want to lose him. Though the last three weeks had felt as if you’d lost him already. Was that the case? Was it really all over already anyway? Or was there a light at the end of the tunnel? Constantly considering how to move forward exhausted you. You spent the next few days in bed, in the dark, under the covers, just thinking. You were trying to put the pieces back together before you even attempted to deal with the situation. 

  Here’s what you didn’t (and couldn’t) know. Yoongi was a miserable wreck for the days following your confrontation. The other boys weren’t unsympathetic, but in all honesty, they kind of felt like he deserved it, so they didn’t go out of their way to cheer him up. They’d known you quite some time now because of your friendship with Taehyung, long before you and Yoongi even really knew each other well, let alone were together. You were their friend, too, and it was clear to them that Yoongi was the one at fault in the situation. They weren’t unkind by any means, just distant. 

Meanwhile Yoongi was in his studio day and night composing something for you, something that would truly show you what you meant to him. He didn’t always know what to say, but where he never failed to communicate this feelings was through his music. He felt immensely guilty about how things had transpired. What would obviously look like him not caring to you could easily be attributed to his single-minded workaholism and general obliviousness. The timing was the worst part. Yoongi had wholeheartedly meant what he said, that he was more than okay with waiting until you were ready to have sex. It genuinely wasn’t that important to him. What was actually important to him was the feeling you gave him of being understood, loved, appreciated, cared for. He couldn’t imagine a life without you in it, and the fact that he’d put the most important thing to him in jeopardy was eating him alive. 

  Almost a week had passed since the day in the boys’ dorms before Yoongi finally decided to take matters into his own hands. He wanted to give you space to think, but because he knew you so well he was pretty sure you had shut down entirely as you sometimes did when things became overwhelming. He made his way over to your apartment, knocking on the door. You heard the sound from your place under the covers in bed, but chose to ignore it, hoping whoever it was would go away. The knocking got progressively louder, and still you pretended you couldn’t hear it. 

Yoongi silently thanked the universe that he had a key to your place. He unlocked the door and came inside, looking around your living room. As he’d expected, it was dark and empty. He immediately went to your bedroom and crouched down beside your bed, tapping you over the top of the covers your body was fully hidden by. You took a deep breath, knowing that there was no more avoiding to be done at this point. You pulled the covers down enough to let your head stick out. 

The first thing you noticed were his eyes. They were so full of sadness and concern. Even with as complicated as things were now, you felt your heart clench when you saw his face, your love for him overflowing. Yoongi rested his hand on the side of your face, caressing your cheekbone with his thumb. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. You nodded slightly, shutting your eyes for a moment. When you looked at him again, he had a more determined expression. “I can’t lose you. I love you more than I will ever be able to express but at the very least, I’ve tried. I wrote something… I want you to know how much I mean it when I say I’m serious about making things better.” He sighed quietly, pulling out his phone and pressing play. 

  By the end of the song you had tears running down your cheeks, leaking involuntarily from your eyes. You sat up enough to lean forward and kiss him. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.” You said with a little smile. “I love you so much. I just want things to be okay again, no matter how hard we have to try to get there.” You confessed, feeling reassured. Your smile then grew as you grabbed his arm and pulled him toward you, signaling your desire for cuddles. Yoongi knew exactly what you wanted, so he climbed under the blankets and wrapped his arms around you to take his place as the big spoon. He was always your safe place, and all felt right with the world now that your refuge seemed safe once more. You didn’t expect it to be effortless to make sure this kind of situation didn’t repeat itself, but you didn’t really care. You now knew weren’t alone in this, and that was all you’d really wanted.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me know what you think! <3 

[oumiyuki]

Would you pleaaaase write a story where Anchan is struggling with a dance move and thinks she isn’t a good leader and Shukashuu comforts her? I just saw the miracle wave for the first time and can only imagine how much Anchan struggled before!

MIRACLE SUPPORTER

Summary: Anju struggles with Miracle Wave dance parts – namely the backflip and just as she was feeling like everything is impossible and she just isn’t good enough – her No.1 Supporter appears.

Pairing: AnShuka

Words: 1666

Read me at fanfiction.net or AO3 too~

Author Notes

Hi, Anon~ Yes, I would write Anju’s struggles with Miracle Wave. We all can tell how hard she worked TwT and can feel the struggles!! I’m also 100% sure all the girls chipped in in their own ways to show their support. But since I’m focusing it on AnShuka :) ~~

May you enjoy~!

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Miracle Wave.”

“Third Live.”

“Miracle Wave.”

“Third Live.”

“I have to do this.”

“I need to make this work.”

These were thoughts that weighed heavily on Inami Anju, Leader of Aqours’ mind ever since 3rd Live was announced. She knew her responsibility was even bigger than all the other lives they have practiced and performed.

And so she dedicated countless more hours to training. She never felt like she was talented enough after all. She kept messing up simple dance moves and now she was in charge of a backflip that Chika pulled off.

She did not want to let Chika, the fans, her members, the staff, or anyone down.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ugh!” Anju lets out a groan as she fails another flip. She wanted to splay on the ground and be frustrated. But she holds it back as she gets up, gives her instructor a determined smile as they gave her advice on how to improve and what she’s doing well.

After more tries, they call it a day.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were joint practices for the other songs so Anju could mingle with the other girls of Aqours, feeling slightly better from their smiles and shenanigans.

But it doesn’t last as she bids them goodbye, turning down dinner plans as she wanted to practice more.

“You sure? It’s good to eat more to have energy, Anchan.” Ainya points out.

Anju shakes her head with a smile plastered on. “I’m fine!”

And the rest wishes her good luck, Shuka’s glance lingering a bit longer before Anju went to the training room specifically for her flips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Shuka POV]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shuka was busy. Her schedule rather packed with photoshoots and radio segments, and Aqours training. But that didn’t stop the energetic girl to stay full smiles and hurry over after her work to the dome where she can find Anju training.

Anju…

Shuka checks the time and jogs towards the dome, showing her entry pass and heads in.

She could hear Anju’s voice and grunts as she neared the stage, she approached quietly to not disrupt Anju’s flow but the flip didn’t go through again.

You’re such a hard worker…

Shuka notices the deep frown and furrowed eyebrows and decides to step in then – her girlfriend needed a break. And Anju was certainly one to not realize that herself.

“Hello, everyone!” Shuka greets with a big smile, bowing to the adults before she catches Anju’s eyes, communicating without words.

“Hey, Anju~ It’s time for a break.”

“Shuka…It’s good to see you.”

On the outside, Shuka simply was a ball of sunshine and smiles as she made her way over in her work attire so she was a bit out of place on the stage as the rest were in sweat pants and t-shirts. “Thank you for your hard work.”

Anju bowed to her instructor. “Thank you for your hard work.”

“We’ll call it a day then. Make sure to stay hydrated and rest those muscles!” The instructor left.

I didn’t say anything but I’m glad I’ve got Anju to myself now.

“You sure like the dome.” Anju wipes her sweat with a towel, noting that Shuka comes by often.

Shuka pursed her lips as she watched. “It is a rather nice dome.”

Anju chuckles. “What’s that mean!”

Shuka chuckles too. “I’m here for you.”

Anju swipes the towel in Shuka’s direction, turning her head away. Shuka grins at the signs of embarrassment.

Anjuuuu, I want to hug you and tell you how great you are. But I guess I shouldn’t since the staffs are still around.

“I brought some snacks. Let’s eat them together!” Shuka pats her bag and Anju grins.

“I’ll be right back!” And the Leader of Aqours hurries to change out of her sweaty training attire.

Shuka is always glad to make sure Anju is back to smiling and eating well whenever she’s free to drop by but sometimes wondered if it was enough considering how hard a time the backflip is giving Anju.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On other nights together, Shuka squeezes Anju’s hand on the way home from dinner and when Anju looks over, she asks, “Is everything okay?”

You’ve been spacing out…

“Yeah…I’m just going to do my best.” Anju gives a small smile.

“You know we’re all here for you.” Shuka returns the squished up smile.

Anju’s body vibrates in laughter from the funny face. “I know, I know…”

Should I continue giving Anju space to not feel overly stressed out..?

Shuka watches Anju; the way Anju’s shoulders weren’t 100% relaxed, the way those eyes looked far out, the way Anju tries to be jolly.

I’ll give her a little more time… My schedule is packed for another week straight too, ughh. I just want to be with Anju more…

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anju was starting to lose faith in herself.

It’s been so many training and she still couldn’t get perfect landings.

“Why.” Her mind screamed.

It’s been months of hard work and tries and help from all her friends and instructors but she still can’t find the way to backflipping perfectly.

“Why!” Her mind screamed louder.

After countless failures among the flukes which she managed to flip. Anju finds herself hating her incompetency.

“WHY!?”

Anju falls and she grits her teeth, she feels her eyes sting.

She told everyone she was fine. She told everyone everything is going fine. She told herself it was going to be fine. She was nowhere fine.

Anju lowered her head, not wanting to show too much weakness. She had to be strong. “I…I’ll take a short break and be back.”

The dance instructor nods. “Take fifteen.”

Anju quickly hurried to the backstage room.

She felt horrible. She felt her vision blurring and sniffles. Rubbed roughly at her eyes and clenched her fists.

“It’s hopeles-”

“An~ju.” Shuka appears like a beacon of light on the worst stormy night at sea.

Anju looks up, swiped at her eyes again to hide those tears.

You can’t hide it from me, Anju.

Shuka smiled at Anju; she knows the taller girl loved it when she does.

“S-Shuka..! What are you doing here?” Anju was surprised to see Shuka. She was sure Shuka had another radio recording or photoshoot today.

Heh, surprise Anju success.

Shuka gives Anju a bigger smile, hoping that helps dispel at least some of Anju’s negative thoughts. “I skipped it.”

“You what??”

Shuka laughs and squats right in front of Anju. “It was cancelled. So the first thing that came to mind was coming over to watch you practice…maybe practice together…and hang out with you…”

And make sure you are okay. Make sure you don’t think you’re any lesser than amazing.

Shuka lowers her head slightly, eyes never leaving Anju as she observed her girlfriend’s eyes widening. Shuka is glad Anju was looking at her and not into the abyss of negativity.

“Hey…” Shuka hops to the side and bumps Anju’s shoulder with hers.

“Shuka…” Anju quietly protests at the sudden movement and physical contact.

Shuka takes Anju’s hand in hers and gives it a squeeze, a much-needed squeeze, and then she intertwines their fingers, rubbing slow circles with her thumb into Anju’s hand.

I’m right here with you, An.

“Shuka…” Anju breathes out quietly again. “I…I can’t-” Anju’s voice cracks. “I don’t think I can do this… I don’t want to fail everyone. But…”

Shuka gives Anju’s hand a firmer squeeze.

“But…I…I have to…I want to… Chika did it. And I…”

Shuka hums quietly. “You can do it, Anju.”

“H-How are you so sure..? All I do is keep messing up…” Anju pressed her face into Shuka’s shoulder.

Cry your heart out, please.

“You’re not messing up. You’re improving. I can tell cause I’ve been watching you.” Shuka puts her hand on Anju’s head, patting Anju’s damp from sweat hair.

Anju’s tension releases ever the slightest as the tears fall.

Anju…If it comes to this!

“Chika failed so many times too, Anju. And you know it.”

Anju presses closer. “…You-chan was there for her…”

“I’m here for you.” Shuka rubs Anju’s back in calming motions.

“You’re busy…You should be focusing on your work… And training, and-”

“And be by my Anju’s side,” Shuka interjects.

Anju raises her head to see Shuka’s determined expression. “…”

“Do you want Shuka-sensei’s tips on flipping?” Shuka gives Anju a playful smile, small but mischievous.

Anju blinks in repetition as she looks to the floor. “Yes pleash.”

They shared a laugh and Anju squeezes Shuka’s hand. “Thank you…for being here.”

Shuka pulls Anju into a warm hug. “I’d like to be here more. And Anju. In case you still don’t get it… Or don’t believe it…” Shuka hugs Anju tighter. “I truly believe that you will be able to pull off those backflips. During the lives and practice. We all believe that.”

Anju holds onto Shuka’s shirt and Shuka rubs Anju’s back to reassure the girl.

“AiAi, Kyan, Kanako, Rikako, Arisa, Osuwa, Nya-chan…and me. We all believe in you, Anju. You’re amazing.” Shuka pulls away and rubs her thumb under Anju’s eyes to clear the tear streaks.

Simply unbelievably amazing…

Shuka cups Anju’s face and presses her lips to Anju’s. A long enough kiss to melt her girlfriend’s mind. Shuka smiles at Anju’s blush.

Unbelievably cute too.

Shuka pats Anju on the head. “Every time you do the flip – whether success or not yet success – I’ll be here to support you through it. C’mon!”

Shuka gets to her feet, letting Anju put her hands in her waiting ones to pull Anju up on her feet too.

“We’ve got a backflip to flip!”

Anju smiles genuinely, a weight off her shoulders and dark clouds looming overhead gone. Shuka had that effect on her. Even in her darkest moments. “Yeah.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After that, Shuka got into a habit of reaching over and giving head pats to Anju after each Miracle Wave practice. Anju was too adorable when she gets those head pats as she smiled proudly.

Shuka couldn’t be more proud of her girlfriend as 3rd Live was a resounding success.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author Notes

The struggle is real.

AnShuka is real.

Those headpats Shuka give Anju is real, if you haven’t seen them, go see it. XD

And aahhhhh, Anjuuuuu!! Writing this reminds me of how much love our Mikan Leader needs!! Gosh! You’re amazing, Anju!! Please don’t ever forget that!!

Shukaaaa, thank you for always being by Anju’s side!! TmT aahhhh!

Leave me a comment if you like~ >w< (Would appreciate it 101%!!)

And keep loving AnShuka ;D

[jenniferyoung]

name: jennifer young age: 38 fc: laura vanderroort time in charming: life long occupation: trauma counsellor side: devils positive traits: + valiant, + fierce, + loving negative traits: - worrywart, - insecure, - stubborn children: one boy, 22 years old siblings: one older brother

trigger warnings(please read them carefully, her background is very dark and traumatic): kidnap, abuse, implied rape, teen pregnancy, traumatic child-birth.

this is gonna be really long and i’m sorry. if you actually read it all i’ll give you a cookie

✹ early life was pretty simple, even with a dad and brother in the MC

✹ plans to graduate and go to college to study archaeology

✹ that got yeeted when she was kidnapped not long after her 16th birthday

✹ jenny had been walking home from a friends when she was grabbed from behind and knocked out

✹ she woke up in a basement with her hands and feet chained to the bed. loose enough for her to move around and sit up but not to get free

✹ her captor? turned out to be a man who she’d been seeing a lot of in the last weeks. random encounters that seemed so innocent until right now

✹ he was quite young, late 20′s maybe but he was absolutely insane. completely infatuated with her and thought that by kidnapping her, he could have her for himself and they’d have a happy life. loco maniac with big temper issues

✹ naturally she did try countless times to escape but would be quickly slapped down, only for him to cry and apologise afterwards, “why did you make me do that” as though any of it was her fault

✹ once the abuse turned into physical touches, that’s when her tears dried up and her mind began to go into autopilot. not to mention the drugs he forced down her throat to keep her subdued really took away a lot of her will to fight

✹ it had been two whole months when she finally started accepting her fate. nobody was ever going to find her and as if the man could see that light go out in her eyes, that night he pinned her down and raped her in spite of her pleas

✹ he even had the audacity to call it love

✹ she was pretty much broken after this. especially since she had been a virgin, so imagine how traumatised she was when another 2 months slipped by and she realised she hadn’t had her period

✹ it had been his plan all along, he wanted a family with her because he was convinced “you’ll love me eventually”

✹ it would have been easy enough to break completely but in the following weeks, something really strange happened. instead of focusing on the trauma, on how used and disgusting she felt, she focused on her growing bump

✹ hours alone in the dark, she began to talk to it, as though somehow it was a comfort to them both

✹ the first time she felt it kick was the first time in months she had a spark of life behind her blue eyes. so she did fall in love, not with her captor, but with her baby

✹ at first she did try to hate it, this thing growing inside her that she didn’t ask for but she couldn’t. how could you blame an innocent life for how it came to be?

✹ the following months, she began to put on an act. starting with a smile now and again that looked genuine, to a laugh at one of the mans jokes. making him believe he was winning, that she was slowly coming around to the idea of being with him

✹ for the most part, it worked. the abuse stopped, she convinced him to stop drugging her because it wasn’t good for “their” baby

✹ the plan was to eventually convince him to unchain her. he agreed to unchain her feet, which was a start ( and a relief considering the metal had long since dug right into her ankles )

✹ she waited a few more days but before she could ask about her hands, she felt the first signs of labour

✹ newly terrified, she literally cried and begged him to call an ambulance because holy fuck

✹ obviously he refused and she spent the next 30 hours in excruciating agony. something was not right

✹ she was bleeding, trying to fight the urge to push because her whole instincts were telling her not to, but it was no use

✹ four pushes and a whole lot of banshee screams later, she birthed a baby boy whom she begged to hold instantly, if only to take him out of the mans hands

✹ beautiful. the second he started to cry and looked up at her with his blue eyes she knew there wasn’t anything or anyone she’d ever let hurt him

✹ somewhere between the mixture of emotions, she hadn’t realised that she was starting to bleed out and the panic returned

✹ frantically, she tried to tell the man that he needed to unchain her and take her to a hospital and to her almost shock, he agreed. like he was actually concerned that she was going to bleed out and die if he didn’t.

✹ it was practically impossible to get up the stairs and even harder to hold her son against her chest whilst looking with double vision for something she could use as a weapon

✹ the glimmer of something shiny caught her eye and in a burst of bravery and energy, she grabbed it (a shiny vase on the table top) and swung it around, smashing it off his head

✹ thank god it must have knocked him out for at least a few seconds because she managed to get to and out the front door

✹ that’s when she realised she was still in charming. not only that, but she could see the clubhouse from where she stood & so she ran (hobbled, hopped, nearly crawled w/e) bursting through the doors like something out of a horror movie, dirty and bloody and instantly on her knees because she couldn’t support her own weight anymore

✹ her father, brother and a couple other members instantly flew to her aid. it had to have been nearly a year since she went missing and now here she was, holding a baby and about to die

✹ “he’s mine” was almost all she could manage to whisper as she had no energy to stop one of the guys taking him from her “don’t let him touch him, don’t– don’t let him” don’t let the captor touch her son, is what she meant

✹ it was barely a second after everything turned black and when she woke, it was three days later and she was in hospital. safe

✹ she only asked once about the guy and got the reply from her dad “it’s been handled” presumably she left a good trail of blood for them to find the source. but she never did dare ask, had she killed him with the vase? or did they. not that she cared.

✹ she only went over her ordeal once with her parents, her brother and the mc’s president at the time and then she told them she never wanted to relive it. which suited them just fine because they couldn’t have the guys dead body getting tied to them.

✹ so the only alternative? was to say she had ran away, that she fell pregnant and that’s why she stayed away until she got scared and came home. cue the judgement from the towns snooty bitches

✹ it was a fight and a half to keep her son, with a mother who wanted to support her decision but a father who was adamant she wouldn’t be able to cope

✹ it got overly extreme, she threatened to end her own life if he had her baby taken away & went on to explain that her son was the only thing that kept her going in those months

✹ she wanted to raise him, teach him to be kind and be a good man and to her relief, her father relented

✹ she named him liam because she always recalled someone telling her it meant “unwavering saviour”

✹ the next five years were tough, but she never gave up and she never quit. she focused her energy on her son, on learning to handle her ordeal in a healthy manner. her father paid good money for her to see a trauma counsellor, one out of town who wouldn’t ask questions they didn’t have answers to. the only rules? never tell them her real name (she posed as someone called lucy) and never name the man so it could never be traced back to them

✹ it was an uphill battle and to be honest, even now sometimes it still is

✹ she was inspired by the way the counsellor helped her and decided that’s what she wanted to do with her life now, so she went back to school and studied for a degree

✹ she’s now a qualified trauma and ptsd counsellor with her own office in the hospital. she also does a lot of fundraising for charities that feel close to her heart. domestic violence, etc. etc.

✹ when she was 25, she finally spoke out at a charity auction she’d organised for survivors and it was hands down the scariest thing she’d ever done. but she did it because she wanted to help young girls see that there was always a light at the end of the tunnel. that you’re not defined by your trauma ( she had to tweak a couple facts, such as saying it happened out of town and that the guy got away )

✹ sooo yeah, she’s one tough bitch now. taught herself how to fight and yoo she kicks ass. got a lot of her confidence back and made damn sure she was raising a good boy

✹ there is literally nobody on this earth she loves more than liam and even though he’s 22 now, he’s still very much her baby and her saving grace

bop bop bop there we have it. *hands you a chocolate chip cookie*

connections:

friends

enemies

exes ending on good or bad terms

fwb or past hook ups maybe

someone she councils would be great

her soN liam would be even better. i visualise him as brandon flynn if he could work for you. alternatively, joe keery or dacre montgomery? it’s negotiable

her older brother would be great too

or any mc members who were around at the time her trauma happened

life long besties who would also know the truth whilst everyone else assumed she was some dumb slapper who got knocked up

anything elseeee

[therainroguefanfiction]

⁂ Sugar Lips (Bunta Marui)

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Romance ☁

Word Count: 1,471 ☁

Pairing: Reader x Marui ☁

World: Prince of Tennis ☁

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

You watched your boyfriend as he played a practice match with Akaya. Yukimura sat beside you, overseeing practice. His mind, however, was focusing on more than just that. The team had gotten used to your presence on the court since you always waited on your boyfriend. You never disturbed practice, so Sanada and Yukimura had no problem with you watching.

Spending every afternoon with them for several months now, Yukimura had picked up on how you normally acted, making it easy for him to spot when something was amiss. You definitely had something on your mind and it worried him.

He called your name softly and offered you a smile when you moved your gaze to him. “Is everything alright?”

You smiled back, but it seemed a bit forced to him. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

His smile disappeared and he just stared at you, making you squirm uncomfortably under his piercing gaze. Yukimura did not like being lied to.

With a sigh, you slumped against the back of the bench. “I think… Bunta-kun is going to break up with me.”

He was shocked at the confession. “Why would you think something like that?”

“He won’t kiss me…” You mumbled, feeling slightly childish at the admission. “We’ve been dating for over six months. Surely that warrants a kiss or two.”

“I see. Have you talked to him about this?”

“Of course not!” Pink dusted your cheeks. The truth was, you were afraid to ask in case he rejected you. How awkward would that be?

Yukimura patted your shoulder as if he could sense your fears. “If there’s a problem in the relationship, the only way to solve it is by talking it over. Otherwise, it will go unsolved and can drive a wedge between you.”

He was right, you knew that, but it was easier said than done. You had fallen in love with Marui – your first and only. You weren’t so much of a dreamer that you expected to be with him until the day you died, but you did want to be with him for more than just six months. What if he really did want to break up with you but didn’t know how? If you brought it up, he might just go forward and say it.

On the other hand, did you really want to date someone that didn’t want to be with you? You knew that was a bad situation for both of you, so you decided to confront him after practice ended.

As time passed by, however, your confidence began to waver. What if it was because of you that he didn’t want to share a kiss? Did your breath smell bad? Did the thought of kissing you disgust him?

You shook your head with a groan, hoping to get rid of those negative thoughts. Just what was this boy doing to you? You had never been overly confident, but you rarely doubted yourself. Yet, when it came to Marui, your mind always snapped to negativity about yourself.

“You okay, bubblegum?”

You jumped when Marui’s voice reached your ears. The usual tired smile he gave you after practice had been replaced by a frown, his brow furrowed in worry. Seeing him make that kind of expression made your heart hurt, especially knowing that you were the cause of it.

Another forced smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Are you done with practice?”

He nodded, still regarding you with worry. He knew something was wrong, but he wasn’t sure if he should press it or not. “I’m gonna go get changed and then we can leave, okay? I won’t take long.”

You watched as he walked towards the locker room. You were so nervous, you were starting to shake lightly. You were thinking about chickening out, but then you caught Yukimura’s gaze from across the court. At first glance, it looked like a simple encouraging smile, but nothing was ever simple with Rikkai’s buchou. No, the underlying meaning was clear – if you don’t say something, I will.

After all, Yukimura didn’t appreciate drama in his tennis club.

You swallowed hard and quickly looked away. How could a middle school boy be so damn terrifying? You had no clue, but you didn’t intend to get on his bad side.

Marui appeared a few moments later, dressed in his uniform with his tennis bag slung over his shoulder. “Ready?”

You glanced at Yukimura again, catching the twitch of his lips, before standing up. “Y-Yeah. Let’s go.”

The two of you walked in silence to the gate. Marui was staring at you, looking away only for a second long enough to make sure he wasn’t going to face plant a pole before looking back. You were very much aware of his stare and it was making you more nervous than before.

Suddenly you stopped, making him do the same. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, calling upon all of the courage you had within your body. “We need to talk, Bunta-kun.”

His body went rigid and he nearly swallowed his gun. He was sure that was the line said before the girl breaks up with the guy. At least, that’s how it always happened in all those romance movies that Yagyuu watches. “A-About what?”

“Us. About us.” Your nervousness began to change, swirling and mixing to form frustration. “Why won’t you kiss me, Bunta?”

His cheeks dusted as he stared at you with wide violet eyes. “W-What are you talking about, bubblegum?”

“We’ve been together for half a year, now, and you haven’t kissed me a single time!” You cried in frustration, running your hand through your hair. “I even try kissing you and you always pull away and make some excuse to leave the room. If you don’t want to kiss me, just say so! If you want to break up… just tell me the truth!”

“What, no!” He quickly snapped out of his frozen state when the words ‘break up’ reached his ears. He grabbed you by the shoulders, staring into your eyes with an intensity you’ve never seen from him before. “I never want to break up with you. I love you!”

“Then why?” You muttered, feeling your eyes sting. No, you refused to cry.

Marui remained silent, thinking carefully about his words. He squeezed your shoulders tightly before tugging your body to his, his arms wrapping around your upper and lower back to secure you to his frame. You didn’t fight back, simply resting your face in the crook of his neck.

“Listen to me, bubblegum. I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize it was such a big deal to you. I didn’t realize that I was hurting you.” He bit his lip before continuing. “I haven’t kissed you because… I figured you wouldn’t want me to.”

“Why would you think that?” You muttered, hands grasping the white shirt he wore.

He sighed heavily, pushing you back just far enough that he could rest his forehead against your own. He noticed how glassy your eyes had become and it made him feel even worse than he already did. “I know how much you hate sweets. You can barely drink sweet tea! I know that if I kiss you, you’ll only be able to taste the sweets that I eat all day. I thought… I thought that would disgust you.”

“You’re the biggest idiot in the world, Marui Bunta.”

He scowled at the insult but felt his heart lighten when he saw your smile – this time it was genuine, not forced. “You really thought I was going to break up with you, idiot.”

“We’re both idiots.” You concluded.

“We’re perfect for each other. A perfect idiot couple~” He agreed with a grin. Before you could respond, his hand gently grabbed the back of your neck and pulled your lips to his own. It was everything you had imagined and more. His lips were plump and soft and seemed to meld against yours like two pieces of a puzzle. He tasted sweet, of course, but it wasn’t overpowering like the sweets he usually consumed. Above all else, you could feel the love he felt for you through his lips, how sorry he felt for taking so long to do this.

Marui pulled away with a smile, connecting your foreheads once more. “I promise to kiss you every day, so don’t be sad anymore, bubblegum.”

And he kept that promise tenfold. From that day forward, he greeted you with a kiss when he came to pick you up; he kissed you farewell when you went your separate ways to class; he kissed you before practice – for luck, he’d say; he kissed you after practice ended before going to change; and, finally, he kissed you one last time before he dropped you off at your house.

You honestly couldn’t be happier.

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