#at least scout looks cute ig….

[moomoootakudraws]

I finally drew this after procrastinating for ages

(I lowkey hate how it turned out tho😭😭 i think i looked at the og image too much)

[pocketizz]

Hellooooo! This is kinda a long post today but it’s a dump of a lot of stuff and some ig ‘backstory’ to one of my friends… Enjoy!

—————————————————

I was meant to go into work today (only volunteering at a charity shop) But i got no sleep last night so i didn’t go 😔 went into town anyways with my mum to get some bits for the house, also got my dad a toblerone bc his birthday is soon!

i got him a wine bottle holder that’s in the shape of a car for his main gift (he wanted it i don’t get the appeal tho). He’s made a little man cave for himself at the house, made his own bar and a pool table that turns into a flat table to play ping pong on (it’s v cool) he also makes all his own wine now???? Not complaining tho, he’s got so many bottles it means i can steal one or two here and there without him noticing :P

Speaking of alcohol, I got invited to go to a party with my friends and their freinds this friday but i said my mum wouldn’t let me go bc i didn’t want to hang around a bunch of people i hardly know, get drunk, and then have to get either a bus home or call my mum whilst drunk and i didn’t want either of them :P

My ex-girlfriend (let’s call her H) has been msging me a lot recently, she wants to meet up in aug when she’s back from a holiday. I don’t reallyyyyyyy want to… I love her (as a friend now) but she’s been pretty rude to my bsf and her bf recently (my bsf ‘S’ Her bf ‘Al’). She told both sides that the other was $hing bc of being in a relationship and how ‘stressful’ it was. Although S has struggled w that before and currently, she was not doing so bc of a relationship, and Al doesn’t and hasn’t????? H is just such a liar honestly, it’s been the same since we first met, she’ll just make shit up: one example of this was when we were in yr9, she told me that a girl in our yr had called me ‘fat and ugly’ so she punched this girl in the face (in front of other people), gave her a black eye, and told her to go to the nurse and say that she’d just walked into a door or fallen over or smth.

Reasons i know this is fake/a fat lie:

1. She supposedly did it in front of others, if this was the case it would be a big thing, my whole yr were pretty close at the time so this story would’ve spread quickly. I never heard anything about it happening.

2. H would not tell me who it was. I was genuinely upset and surprised that someone had said that abt me, and wanted to know who had said that so i could either confront them or just stay clear away from them. She made it into some sort of game, where i had to guess who it was who’d said it. This upset me even more so she told me it was sm1 who i went to primary with. For the rest of the week i scouted out every single person at that school who went to the same primary as me to see if anyone had a black eye or looked injured but no one did.

3. When i asked H about it more recently she told me it was this girl called ‘T’ …. i hadn’t spoken to T since at least yr3 and had never interacted with her in secondary school, why she would care abt what i looked like makes no sense… H also supposedly had a crush on T during yr10, why she would have a crush on a girl she punched in the face i have no idea…

So i doubt that really happened. She also just lies about little stupid things, the sports she plays, the careers she has/had, Apparently she was supposed to play Enid Bingham (the emo one) from stranger things but she turned the roll down bc of school (she would’ve been 11/12 at the time of casting, enid is supposed to be 16/17) (maybe, idk but a lot older than 12) and supposedly she’s been in tons of films and shows but she just doesn’t want to tell anyone what she’s been in…. sureeeee

You should see some of the shit she sends me jesus christ, all of that soppy shit on tt like the ‘This is how i see you’ slideshows that are art pieces, don’t get me wrong it was cute when we were dating, but now that we’re not i find it kinda weird. i should tell her but knowing her she would cause some shite bc of it.

Recently she blocked everyone on our gc for ‘no reason’, S then asked on this gc ‘So you blocked us and made us upset and worried for you for ‘no reason’?’ she got PISSED at this ( copy and pasted from the gc)

‘You don’t get to do that’

‘You don’t get to guilt trip me and make it all about yourself that’s not right’

She wasn’t guilt tripping??? She was upset for a valid reason and worried about you for a valid reason (H has struggled with their MH before as well as $uicidal thoughts ect so people are (RIGHTFULLY) worried when she blocks everyone and drops off the face of the earth for a day!

When i msged her later asking why she blocked everyone she said (copy and pasted again)

‘It’s just so I don’t get careless and start upsetting people cause I’ve been a bit short recently so I’m like punishing myself’

Which sucks don’t get me wrong, i don’t want her to feel as though she has to ‘punish’ herself bc she’s had a short fuse atm (probably bc she’s stressed from gcse season) But how can you say this after doing the exact thing you just said you didn’t want to do?!?!!!! i didn’t respond to that msg bc it just pissed me off seeing it after she had been so rude to S…

(Quick lore dump of me and H’s friend/relationship)

- Became friends in yr9 through two mutual friends

- i had a fat crush on her in yr9 and so did she but we never said anything

- She then dated my bsf and i felt v awkward abt being around them both

- Yr 10 a mutual ‘Friend’ drove us apart

- End of yr10, this ‘Friend’ was a pos who ‘Exiled’ (their words not mine) me and my friend (we’ll call her ‘K’) from our friend group for not hanging out with M (the ‘friend’ for less than 3 days…)

-end of yr 10 Me and H are friends again ‼️‼️‼️

- (yr 11) At S’s house for a sleepover, both drunk and during truth or dare she gets asked by sm1 ‘what’s the longest you’ve ever had a crush on sm1?’ She says just under 3yrs. How long had we been friends? Just under 3 yrs, coinky dink i think not.

- One thursday i do drugs for the first time (in school ik please don’t judge i was going through it) I feel like shit all day, passing out being sick ect but refuse to go home. Next day i stay off bc im coming down and still feel like shit. Sat morning i get a big confession text from her ‘i’ve liked you forever i feel bad hiding it from you i don’t like lying to you’ (but she does…. so often…) later that month we’re dating. It’s awkward. It’s horrible. She never talks to me in person and always avoids me which takes skill bc we go to the same school and are in a lot of the same lessons so???? She wants a ‘break’ bc GCSEs will be stressful, i say ‘let’s just break up then’ bc i was pissed at her for doing it over text rather than to my face, a few gcse’s later me and S are walking around town after an exam and she tells me ‘H really wants to ask you out again and is just wating for exams to be over’ I say ‘ew’ i msg her saying ‘i don’t want to be in a relationship with you again, im saying this now so i don’t have to potentially turn you down face to face in the future’

She says okay i’ll stop

She doesn’t, she keeps on being flirty sending me texts about how much she loves me or misses me (it’s so much worse if she gets drunk) and i try my best to let her down gently each time but she never seems to get the hint.

So yeah!

Now you know a little bit more about me and H :0

I’ll write some more tomorrow but for now i’m going to bed!

Good night anyone reading, i hope you’ve had a great day you deserve it! <3

[darlingsazanami]

honestly, i was really happy & excited when i first saw him getting a fs2 because it’s been a long time since the last jun 5* gacha :’) or maybe i just have a bad gacha addiction oops. anyway i think he looked rlly handsome!! but after looking at the card details i can see why some fans are disappointed because it’s not as elegant as the other eden fs2 cards.. the amount beads and chains are also obscene too😭 i think people were looking forward to his fs2 being more soft/elegant/prince-ly like his ruby love & tour event card.. i felt the same way too tbh but alas i’m still grateful for the card cuz i cannot bare to wait any longer i miss him so much🥲 at least his unbloomed make up for it ig.. happyele making the previously angered jun fans calm down with yumebait and it worked 😔 also yess eden climax event.. i miss them sm omg i hope they can be next after alkaloid.. cannot wait for the new album illust + jun solo!! him being a 3* is a relief so i won’t have to grind my ass off just to get copies of his card T_T -🦦

Yeah me too! His last 5* gacha card just refuses to come home which is such a pain </3 i did 50 pulls for it on his birthday gacha banner and Tsumugi came home instead..</3 So I was kinda nervous pulling for his fs2 but he was kind to me ^_^!!

Yeah the bead brushes aren’t the.. nicest looking things to be honest i’m sick of seeing them on every character </3 I’m just happy that the unbloomed wasn’t something like working out 😭I haven’t read the story yet (I can’t find any translations </3) but I heard people say it’s rather cute! The yumebait works and it will always work because when I saw jun’s tour card bloomed and unbloomed I was losing my mind 😞

Yeah a lot of twitter accounts that give information on characters due a card all say Nagisa is due a 5* event card and Hiyori is due a 4* event card! So Jun and Ibara will be easy to get!! I’m really looking forward to their trip album and the outfits!! but hopefully I can recover from the returning cover songs (Trickstar and Eden scout is returning on the 26th October if i’m correct!).. being an EdenP is hell

[yanderenightmare]

yandere ! BAKUGOU KATSUKI

TIP-JAR

goodiebag WARNINGS: noncon, yandere, angst ig

Just thinking about-

Grownup Prohero ! Katsuki having made it to be number one, living in his fancy new house all exclusive and away from all people he finds irritating, with at least six cars in his garage and his face frequently seen on the cover of every hero magazine available, only to receive his invitation to your wedding and realizing none of it means anything.

The pretty white envelope along with the stupid bit of paper inside with letters he recognizes are in your handwriting blown up between his palms. A hurt he hadn't felt in a long time simmering like a sickness in his gut and throat, even in his eyes.

He just doesn't understand where all the fucking time went. He used to have all the time in the world to settle things with you. And now you belong to someone else even though he's King of the world.

He doesn't want to think about it, because thinking about it makes him hate himself. But the self-loathing is rooted so deep it's like something's bitten him and locked on. He just can't force himself to stop thinking, every week and month passing by up until the date.

And he hates himself so much he gets sick. Riddled with regret and anger and jealousy and the type of betrayal you only feel toward yourself.

He hates himself for not smiling with you enough, for not helping instead of calling you helpless, for not asking you to the stupid prom he knew you wanted to go to, and he hates himself for everything after you grew up, for not reaching out, for never calling you to tell you how much he's constantly thinking about you, for not even trying to make you fall for him as hard as he faceplants for you every single fucking time he sees you.

He can't stop himself from dropping by either. He knows he shouldn't be there, knows it's the last place he ought to be. And he's berating himself all the while as he scouts the building and breaks in through the window where he spots a white veil hanging.

But his thoughts stop altogether when you come out only a second later.

Anyone would have screamed, but you're never surprised to see him. And you smile and laugh and ask him if this is how he responds to all RSVPs.

But he's too shellshocked to say anything with how perfect you look in your dress.

He really didn't think he'd care, but he does because you look like perfection and it's not for him.

You give him a twirl and ask if he likes it and he just doesn't understand how he let any of this happen. How he let some other extra take you away from him.

But then he realizes that no one else knows he's there.

Just you.

And it's a dangerous thought. But you don't know it because you're smiling and giggling and perhaps just a bit tipsy on champagne and otherwise dumb with wedding jitters and full of butterflies.

And only a strong hand over your mouth and nose have you pass out like a snuffed light.

And Bakugou's desperately trying to think of things to say to you for when you wake up in his bed in the isolated new house that now, in retrospect, seems perfect for keeping someone captive.

The thought calms him almost chillingly. And his eyes fall onto you.

Weary head on his pillow, white dress on black sheets.

And he doesn't really know what he wants to do with you except touch you, and then he realizes that isn't that he doesn't know what but that he wants to do absolutely everything and simply can't choose what to do first.

But you wake up when he lifts your skirt and leave him only enough time to catch a glimpse of the way too cute pre-honeymoon lingerie you have on underneath.

You ask where you are and rub your head, then you ask where your husband is and Katsuki feels a sudden urge to murder anyone and everyone with that name in the outmost gruesome and painful way possible.

But you have more questions that pull him back from the violent thought, questions of what happened and whose bed is this and why's your ankle's cuffed to it, and then you're no longer asking questions because that's when the tears finally fall and the panic harshly kicks in.

But one more question manages to leave you before all you do is scream stop stop stop, and it's why are you doing this?

And Bakugou thinks about saying something like the hero always gets the girl, but he's never really believed in that crap anyway so all he does instead is fuck you in that wedding dress you would be wearing for him if only he'd had the balls to ask you first.

[salvatoreren]

Alright...

Chapter 127 is one of my favorite chapters in War For Paradis, so seeing it animated made me really happy

first of all that baby was cute that's it

tbh I wished Hange had raised their voice even more to convey more emotion as shown in the manga, because of the expression lines and all but It's good

Seeing the old scouts get animated in MAPPA also was cool, like i said in my last post abt the previous episode, Im not even an erwin stan but damn he looked good, have you also seen Miche/Mike? Whoo!

Bro Marco in MAPPA made me feel things, I love my boy so much even tho i make a lot of half jokes-

This episode made me sympathize with Jean a lot, which i did not honestly expect, he became my favorite character in a span of 24 minutes, seriously tho, he's honestly relatable in terms of realism

Gabi and Reiner's face when Magath tells them the sufferings of The Island devils isnt compared to what Marley has experienced, like wow it says so much fr it does

Mikasa and Annie facing off each other, god i love that annie shot with her blade

And Yelena? My god don't even get me started, Just like Jean I'm like wow this person speaks so much facts, and i was just cheering her on while she told the crimes of every single one of them like go on queen

oh and let's not forget about the expression Annie and Reiner make when she mentions Marco, pure, just pure satisfaction, Marco's death was one of the most cruelest things that happened, i haven't quite gotten over the unfairness of his death so yeah, but is it just me or do Annie and Reiner look more remorseful than in the manga when telling about his death,

Those shots, those weird branch shots i like them honestly, if i overanalyze it like i always do i'd say its like showing a shot of the paths so there's that

jean beating up Reiner, i swear guys i like reiner

Hange just being Hange, gosh they were so great this episode, their face when Reiner mentions about his split personality, them saying how no one was their to witness the past and to tell them to cut their bullshit, them saying "What about your seconds?"

Gabi apologizing, now her VA did a good job, so did Falco's, them saying please made my heart ache, poor kids

Istg guys Jean looked so good this episode especially these two shots

Jean apologizing to Gabi was idk ig this a stretch is kind of like Levi apologizing to Eren after yk beating him up, eh maybe that was just me, but fr Jean would rock the Captain position tho, and this part where annie says

Like did the guys rlly forgive her in the end? Ofc we don't know, no one bothered lol

Pieck in all her glory, amazing

I love this episode but lemme tell u guys I hate that god! only three episodes left, yk yk chapter 132 and then i will go into a deep state of isolation and utter emptiness bcus damn me for diving so deep into the aot fandom without any alternatives to make myself feel better when it ends, oh well there's always aot junior high,

at least the fandom would be suffering with me as well so cheers to us coping

[lunetteslooneyfangirlingblog]

Villain Toru Hagakure AU

There’s a lack of Toru Aus (except Traitor AU) and headcanons in general so I thought I’d fix that and throw her in the villain Mic and villain Deku team up. Why? BECAUSE I HAVE THE POWER!

*Toru became a villain due to family drama and being framed for something she didn’t do

*She thought she was going to go to prison for this crime and used her invisibility to sneak out of the police station.

*After a few days on the street during a rain storm she collapses and Mic, who was coming home from a job literally trips over her.

*Once he nurses her back to health she becomes the first to join his villianous team—mainly because he couldn’t get rid of her.

*It’s not that he didn’t like her, but he knew the hard life of a villain and that once you go down that road there’s no going back.

*In the end he let her stick around because she was disowned, alone, and hunted down by the police. Toru was so determined to go down this road that he figured that at least if she was with him he could keep her safe and out of serious trouble. And if they got caught he could tell everyone he brainwashed her and take the blame for everything.

*Yes he is just as protective of her as he is of Deku, hurt her and everyone within 50-60 mile radius can say goodbye to their hearing, their building, their heads, etc.

*They meet Deku a few months later to start their own dream team—none of them can agree on a name. The paper have to give them one (comment/re-blog with suggestions)

*Toru is the one that keeps the team focused and grounded as the other two are easily distracted (especially by certain heroes)

*She gets distracted by cute things; puppies, cats, bunnies, a certain hero in training.

*She has a small crush on Ojiro simply because he’s the only one to ever notice her.

*She has a one sided rivalry with Todoroki who unknowingly foils her plans or trips her up.

*She does get his attention when Deku gives her a battle strategy to finally one-up him.

*This feels like a hollow victory to her though and eventually she does manage to impress Todoroki with her own talents

*Toru’s villain costume is a creepy smiling mask with ribbons that work as hair, gloves, and boots.

*The mask creeps everybody the fuck out, but Toru thinks it’s cute

*When Toru learns that she can use her body to manipulate light she adds ribbons and mirrors to her costume

*Neither Mic nor Deku realize that she’s naked when she’s fully invisibile. When they do figure this out they’re both uncomfortable for different reasons.

* “Put some clothes on!! I’ll go to jail for many things, but pedophilia isn’t one of them!”

*Until she gets a costume that works with her invisibility they keep a respectful distance so they don’t accidentally bump her.

*Her Villain name is Invisible Girl because she’s not very creative. Mic calls her IG for short.

*Toru is very sweet to her boys and tries to take care of them, but it’s one of those “bless your heart” things. As earnestly as she tries her food looks like witch’s brew or is always on fire, her first aid leaves them mummified, and while her cleaning isn’t bad she’ll get distracted and leave the cleaning items out, causing the boys to trip or slip over them.

*Deku is the voice of reason—she is not. She’s more than willing to go with any insane plan Mic has without question because she loves and trusts him.

*Even as a villain Toru is a sweet girl—however she’s also the second most likely to set someone on fire with her reflecting lights if they hurt her boys.

*She usually handles the most dangerous parts of the missions to scout and collect intel for Deku to make a plan.

*They all keep a stray cat that’s not technically there’s, however it sneaks into the apartment everyday so they feed it.

*This cat is horribly scarred with matted fur, and looks like a small demon (in fact Mic’s seen it take down a group of asshole who wanted to be assholes to it), but Toru still looks at and treat it like it’s the most precious, innocent babe in the universe.

[mountphoenixrp]

We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:

                                    Kim Jiwoo, who is also known as Chuu;                                                a 22 year old daughter of Benten.                                        She is the owner of Happy Berry Boutique.

fc name and group. kim jiwoo (chuu) from loona. character name. kim jiwoo (chuu) — chuu will be used more often as a nickname. age and date of birth. 22. dob 10/20/97. place of birth. seoul, south korea. occupation. owner of HAPPY BERRY BOUTIQUE and IG MODEL. height. 160cm. weight. 43.8 kg. defining features. nothing besides bright hair and a sunshine-y personality.

personality. IN THE NAME OF THE MOON, CHUU WILL PUNISH YOU! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

more like in the name of strawberries, but we’ll just settle on chuu being a tweaked version of sailor moon. she accepts people when others won’t open their hearts to them. she’ll try to befriend people she meets at every turn. even if they aren’t interested in her dragging them around to eat crepes and try on new ribbons. she’s very open minded and has a good heart. she can sometimes be a bit of a whiny fairy, but it’s all in good fun and mostly just so she’ll get her way in the end. she cherishes friendship above all else and is known to bestow her good fortune upon those she’s especially close with. underneath the frills, she is a dedicated young woman who spends sleepless nights working on new designs for her boutique. there are times where she’ll work herself to the bone. so much so that not even a delectable strawberry short cake from black forest bakery can revive her. she’s part sailor scout and part sloth.

history. (tw: blood, some gore and death)

kim jiwoo had been born under a lucky star.

even as an infant, she had incredible luck and bestowed onto others great fortune. all she had to do was wrap her small hand around a finger and the person would be blessed. even if just for a few moments. maybe the new dress they wanted had finally gone on sale. maybe they’d find a sufficent amount of wons in the street. maybe the person they had a crush on them finally liked them back. it was always a wonderful thing and baby jiwoo was the brightest star that shined in the sky. raised by her korean father up until she was about sixteen, she had never thought anything about her fortune. simply, she’d thought she was just always in the right place at the right time. just a girl who was raised by a loving father after the unfortunate “death” of her mother. she had just always been lucky. she had been nicknamed something adorable like chuu? well, her father had a knack at picking cute names. winning a spelling bee? she just studied hard. first place in track? the opponent happened to trip and she’d managed to get her barings just in time to collide with the ribbon. she’d never thought anything was more than a coincidence. but there must always be an equivelent exchange for the good fortune. even if jiwoo was incredibly lucky, it didn’t mean bad things didn’t happen. one evening upon her return home from spending time with friends, she had stumbled upon a gruesome sight. there, settled in a pool of conjealing blood, laid her father. while she had been away, a crazed man had broken into their home. it had been on the news that someone in their area had been breaking into homes, but she’d never thought it would be her own. he had fought with her father who had been protecting their apartment and the result had been his death. stabbed multiple times, wounds seeping out blood as he laid lifeless on the floor. jiwoo couldn’t believe it. she had been the lucky one to not be home. and for the first time in her life, jiwoo hated her luck. as she trembled over her father’s body, however, something incredible happened. a bright light came forth, also mourning the sight of kim minseok. jiwoo couldn’t believe her eyes. the light soon grew before engulfing her entire form, holding her close as a mother would and it spoke in the sofest voice. it was here for the first time that jiwoo learned of her true exsistance — she was the daughter of the japanese goddess benten. jiwoo learned that the voice was that of the goddess herself. she encouraged her daughter to head towards a place called mount phoneix where they could hopefully cross paths in the future. with no where else to turn, jiwoo packed what she could and headed to the island. she had nothing other than luck on her side, so something would have to go right. — it has been about six years since jiwoo has come to mount phoneix. though she still carries the heavy memory of her father’s death, she is still every bit as lucky to be here. with a new home and people who she considers a second family, she really knows she is the luckiest girl in the world.

pantheon. japanese. child of. benten. powers. she’s a lucky duck who would be able to walk off a skyscraper and somehow survive (with some heavy injuries, of course). want to punch her? oops, you missed. want to kick her? she dodged it despite being incredibly clumsy. couldn’t get to the bakery to get your favorite muffin? well, she’s the lucky one who got there just in time. she’s able to bestow good luck onto others by channeling her powers into some sort of item. this only lasts for about 24 hours before the holder of said item is back to being an unfortunate soul. she’ll usually seal any item a customer buys in the boutique with a little bit of luck. who knows, maybe you’ll somehow get a steal of a deal!

strengths. outgoing berry who won’t take no for an answer. can make friends without much trouble (sometimes). able to put together an outfit in 10.2 seconds. can come out of a fight 8/10 times mostly unscathed. able to look cute without an instagram filter. amazing ability to annoy at least 60% of the population on the demigod island. weaknesses. obnoxious to the point where someone might try to throw her into the ocean. speaking of which, she can’t swim. being so fortunate can cause others to become envious and try to take advantage of her at times. too pure for this world.

[dirtierhockey-blog]

hampus lindholm; low key-ish

for @bahharrington28​

you don’t meet Hampus at the arena, you’ve never so much as seen him in passing there but you know who he is the second he slips in beside you at the crowded bar

you’re at a bar with some co-workers from the Honda Center after a long work day so you hadn’t scouted out the crowd when you got there, but you’re kicking yourself for it now

you flash him a smile, assuming he’s grinning at you out of politeness while he waits for the bartender to come over too- but then he’s introducing himself and asking if he can buy you a drink

that hopeful smile is so cute it makes your stomach flip

you only take a second to glance back at the table full of your co-workers and mull over the pros and cons of ditching them before you’re accepting, turning fully towards him with a flirtatious grin

conversation starts and flows easily, he’s funny and flirty in a way that’s obvious but still undeniably charming

you lean into him with a hand on the crook of his elbow and you try to keep collected but you’re sure your face just looks like a tomato when he compliments you

you stay at the bar like that for so long the bartender probably gets sick of you taking up the space but you don’t notice, you don’t notice all of your co-workers(aka ride possibilities) leave either

what must be an hour or so after you first started talking, one of his apparent friends interrupts you to bid him a goodnight with a bro-handshake

Hampus looks around then and chuckles when he realizes his group’s completely gone as well, and you admit you should sober up so you can walk back to where you left your car and drive home

he chews on that distracting bottom lip and then he asks if he could walk with you, he’d need to catch an Uber anyway and he says “I don’t think I’m ready to stop talking to you”

you go bright red again but you nod and tell him you’d appreciate it… when you’re out of the bar and you’re left with only silence around you for the first time that evening, you tell him you weren’t ready to stop talking to him either

that makes him beam like he won a prize and you have to look away to shield your own huge grin from him

it not too long of a walk but you fill the time with passing questions back and forth, the shimmer of something new surrounding the two of you bumping shoulders down the sidewalk

you’re just about there when he asks what you do, and you point towards the arena while you tell him, you were just about to anyway because he got on the topic of enjoying his career so far in Anaheim, he gets so excited he makes you stop in your tracks

“Does that mean I can take you out on your lunch break when I’m done skating there- or, wait, do you come to a lot of the games? Would you?” Hampus grabs your hand, your fingers interlocking easily and giving you butterflies

“I-I’d like that but I don’t know if you can, I don’t know if there’s a thing about inter-company… canoodling,” your teeth worry at your bottom lip, ignoring how he poorly hides a giggle, “Or if we count as co-workers even…”

“Hey, hey,” he eases you in an effortlessly calming tone before you can begin worrying about if that would stop whatever this is before it really gets started, “We can be… quiet, low key? We won’t meet at the office, or anywhere in the building, if you don’t want to. You don’t have to tell anyone that we left together tonight. None of our friends were there to see, right… don’t worry. This’ll be good.”

something about his confidence unleashes the butterflies back into your stomach, the soft smile he’s had for you all night making you want to believe him so badly you do

you’ve never clicked with anyone so quickly as you have already with him, and you’d never typically kiss a guy the first time you meet him... but you keep getting told that you won’t get what you want out of life unless you go for it and this tall, gorgeous blonde man is everything you want right now-

instead of telling him that or even that he’s right you surge forward to kiss him, having to pull him down a bit awkwardly to get there but your mouths meet in a sweet but not at all chaste kiss that’s just as good as you’ve been thinking it could be

he brings his free hand to cup the back of your head and kisses you again and again with just teases of his tongue along your bottom lip, his thumb sweeping back and forth over the back of your hand

it takes you much longer than it should to get home that night, kissing each other through the parking lot like stupid teenagers, Hampus convinces you with his mouth at the corner of yours that he should take an Uber because he’s going the opposite way, and you know one of you wouldn’t get home if you gave him a ride

you exchange numbers just as his ride pulls up and keep looking back at each other until his Uber turns the corner and you’re left to catch your breath in the driver’s seat before you can even start your car

there’s a text waiting for you when you get home, he saved his name with a kissy face and an orange heart: I can’t wait to see you again, goodnight

you can so vividly imagine his voice, his breath over your cheek like it had earlier in the night and you don’t remember ever feeling this way, especially not with anyone you’d just met and you text him back the same sentiment with a grin on your face and it doesn’t fall for the rest of the weekend

you text each other as much as possible over the next couple of days and when you go into work on Monday you get that giddy feeling just from parking

you text him that, and you know he won’t be back in the building until the next game day but you’ve already memorized when it is and you can’t wait

it’s not too long of a wait, and soon the day’s come and you’re walking back into the building from you break with a coffee in hand when your phone rings

the second you answer Hampus tells you he found an empty room and he absolutely needs to see you before the game tonight or he might just die, and you can hear the huge grin in his voice and you can’t help but let your own match it

you know you’re going to be late back to your desk, but you don’t care and go find him anyway

the second you find the right door he’s pulling you into the room and into him, laughing with you as he presses his nose to yours and you both let the intense moment before your mouths meet stretch out

“It was so nice to see you,” you whisper when you finally pull back, hands flattening his t-shirt back over his broad chest from where you bunched it up. you’ve never had much self control and it takes every ounce of it to really make yourself leave after he says the same, licking his lips and looking at you like he can’t get enough of your face and you know the feeling

when you get back to your desk you make a pretty wild excuse for your twenty minute detour but you can’t bring yourself to care if anyone minds

the second you’re off work Hampus calls you like he was waiting by his phone for the clock to strike 5:01 despite probably having stuff to do before his game

“Let me take you out tomorrow night, I have to go away for a couple days after that but I need to take you on a real date before I go, please,” he starts with that, probably not even aware yet that it makes you smile so wide your cheeks strain

“Yes, yes, please, I’d love that,” you tell him, trying to stay focused while you walk to your car but smiling like an idiot the whole time while he tells you that he wants to wine and dine you and show you he’s more than just a ‘spectacular kisser’

you have to laugh but you can’t deny it, he really is a great kisser

it’s the best date you’ve had in years, not to mention first date- you feel shy and nervous in the lead up but it’s not awkward for a second, again caught up in each other, but you keep the little touches on the way in the restaurant and from across the table innocent

you share dessert with your feet tangled together underneath the table and when he drops you off, he kisses you at your doorstep, leaves you wanting so much more but the promise of more when he gets back to Anaheim leaves you practically floating on Cloud 9 while you get ready for bed

every time he gets the chance to be in the Honda Center while you’re working he finds a way to get you alone, but it’s not like you do much to stop him

you never imagined it’d be so hard to keep it up, but you still can’t help yourself from going to see him when he’s just so close and tempting… you don’t have the guts to ask your manager about what the policy is...

though you maintain a constant stream of texts, snaps, and IG messages of various funny and adorable things even when he’s in Anaheim, he calls you almost every away game day to tell you he’s thinking of you, and you wish him luck

(one day you send him a snap of you in his shirsey you picked up on a whim just before a game in LA and he nearly loses his mind, which is a confidence boost to say the least)

you get him to come into your apartment after your third ‘official date’, you had already spent most of the movie you went to cuddling into each other in the far corner with exploratory touches and as much kissing as you could keep quiet and keeping the conversation open without words-

-you don’t fuck that night but you get each other off with your hands, kisses slowed to sharing breaths and moans

he has to leave too early the next day for practice but you still walk on air all morning, knowing you’ll hear from him once he’s done

the first person to find out about your relationship is one of his teammates; you met in a spot that’s now become pretty frequent for the two of you and he’s just pushed your panties aside with his hand all the way up your skirt, his mouth panting against your neck and you’re just distracted enough to not notice but he does catch the bit of a gasp from the doorway a few feet away

“Rickard!” Hampus lifts his head to bark, curling over you and using his frame to shield you entirely from view, “Get out!”

“Sorry, sorry!” the man laughs and backs out immediately, seemingly not bothered but you’re frozen in embarrassment, never having come that close to being caught with someone’s fingers inside you

Hampus apologizes as much as he can before he has to go back to his team and you to work, late that night he comes over to assure you Rickard wouldn’t spill a word, but he’ll be more careful about being seen wandering off on his own

in all truth, all of your friends have been wondering what’s going on, having heard so little from the two of you basically since the night you met. you’ve been noticeably happier but even your best friends hear little of your life lately, they just know you’ve been suspiciously busy

you don’t know if it’s the fear of rumours about you in the workplace, the possibility of your relationship being frowned upon by management, or the possibility of it shattering under reality but you’ve kept a solid force field between what’s going on between you two and anyone or anything else…

you remember when you kissed him the first night you met and how nervous you were to do that too and you ask him, “Would… would you want people to know? I know I really like you, and I think I want this to be more… real-”

“It doesn’t feel real because we sneak around the arena?” you immediately shake your head, moving closer to him where you two are on the couch, putting both hands on his forearm

“No, no, it is so real, I didn’t mean that I just, I think I want my friends to know why I’m so happy now, and I want to tell my mom about you and I’ve been at my job less than a year I can find another one if it’s that big of a deal-”

he’s grinning already and you break your train of thought to look down and smile too, biting hard into your bottom lip to try to contain it enough to continue

Hampus cups your face in one hand and leans in to kiss you softly before you can, “Will you be my girlfriend? I’ve been waiting to ask you, only because I’ve been too much of a chicken, but I want to tell everyone I know that you are mine…”

you nod your head, a little too choked up to speak but you share a loaded smile with him before you’re wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him until he picks you right up off the couch and walks you to your bedroom

he undresses you both and lays you out on the bed, kisses you until you’re practically melted into the bed, until you can feel him rock hard against your thigh every time he presses down into your body and your entire core aches with the need to have him inside you finally

he fucks you slow with your legs wrapped around him and his forearms framing your head to keep his torso just pressed into yours, you cum with your eyes locked on his until he thrusts hard into you with his own orgasm and they squeeze shut as you shake with overstimulated after shocks

you fuck again, you on top this time, right after your alarm goes off in the morning

Hampus gives you a ride to work and since you’re already late you spend another five minutes kissing him silly

your co-workers don’t seem impressed by your lack of punctuality but they’re suitably distracted when you drop that your boyfriend held you up; you don’t give them anything else for the rest of the day but they do bug you to hell over it when a gorgeous bouquet comes for you an hour later from ‘H;)’

[sizzleitupwithmaria]

the challenge is on, foolish mortal

1. how tall are you?

5 feet 7 inches

2. what is your body type?

i’m shaped like an hourglass but i’m also a lil chubby

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

i occasionally like my face and this is a little bit weird but i have pretty good tits

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

yep!

5. are you more outgoing or more shy

dude i’m shy af

6. are you more femme or butch?

i’m a pretty solid futch

7. are you tol or smol?

i’m tol bitch!!

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

i feel like i’m a vodka aunt, but i’m also 14 and don’t commit crimes

9. weird habit?

i stick my tongue out whenever i’m super focused and i used to be really self conscious about it

10. favorite meme?

my current favorite is the shen yun memes but i don’t have an all time favorite

11. do you sing in the shower?

no bc the bathroom is right next to my parent’s bedroom :):):)

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

yeah i was in girl scouts for a while

13. are you/were you a theater kid?

see basically all of my vent posts and you’ll find the answer (i’m in a weird relationship with theater right now, but we’ll have to see how sophomore year turns out)

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

yeah!! i’m also seeing another one in 112 days lol

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

some are, but that doesn’t make them bad

16. have you ever been part of a protest or a march?

yeah, i went to march for our lives last year!!

17. favorite cards against humanity card?

i don’t actually own or play CAH, but i like “Bees.”

18. last movie you watched?

newsies, but that was only to grab screenshots lol (maura will know)

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

both!!

20. favorite tv show?

uhhhhh frasier? 

21. meaning behind your url

sizzle it up with taako is a taz reference

22. reason you joined tumblr

i have no fucking idea bc it was so long ago

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

i’d say @baura-bear but i’ve also known her irl for 8 years? i don’t actually have any purely tumblr friends, feel free to hmu

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

most foods

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

considering that i had to look up what that meant, the answer is no

26. have you ever had sex?

i’m 14

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or anything bad?

nope, i lead a pretty boring life (i’d actually sneak out quite often if my bedroom wasn’t on the second floor)

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

i’ve told my dad that i love him before

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

i’m currently at a crossroads with it and it’s pretty stressful for me rn but i’m committed to getting better and not crying daily over it

30. describe your best friend

i don’t actually think i have a solid enough relationship with anyone to have a best friend lol

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows

OH UHHHH i pop my acne?? that might be obvious if you look at my face tho

32. how do you feel right now?

pretty solid, i have a little bit of a headache and i’m a bit sad but i’m doing okay

33. what is your biggest fear?

failure, but that’s probably just bc i set so high expectations for myself lol

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

breakfast in america by supertramp

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

maybe quitting band and strings in 5th grade or quitting track

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

OH YEAH but we’re not gonna talk about that right now

37. something you fantasize about

i always dream of living in a tiny nyc apartment with a beautiful wife and working at some nondescript company and shopping in my free time

38. last time you cried and why

??? i actually don’t know. i nearly cried last night bc my dad was nearly yelling at me, we’re not gonna get into that though

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

i put a stupid snapchat filter on my face

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

yeah

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking about anything with?

my own self?? i have trust issues lol

42. the last time you felt broken?

maybe this morning just bc i had a weird dream and was processing it lol

43. are you starting to realize anything?

yeah

44. are you more dom or sub?

sub, but just in general, i haven’t ever had sex

45. i’ll only date you if _____

you’re a woman? i don’t have many standards lol

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

okay this question is probably geared more towards adults but as a freshman, i’m fine with dating sophomores and juniors, and maybe 8th graders?? that’s a little iffy though

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail

ummm i’m not sure if it’s a crush anymore but she’s tall, skinny, had black hair that she dyes often but it never shows, she dresses similar to me, she’s a photographer, and i think she might be into me :/

48. do you have any kinks?

yes but i’ll never tell anybody even if they paid me money

49. first thing you notice in a person?

uhhh their outfit?

50. how can someone win your heart?

by loving me a lot and dealing with my weird personality

51. been rejected by a crush?

i’ve only asked a crush out once and that went pretty well so no

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

yes, who hasn’t?

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

nope

54. is trust a big issue for you?

is the sky blue?

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

nope, we’ve been meaning to for a while though

56. is confidence cute?

sometimes, just don’t be weird to other people

57. what would you say if the person you like kissed another person?

i wouldn’t care LMAO

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

probably not

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

maybe?? my interactions with her have been a blur lmao

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

oh yeah

61. do you want to get married?

yes, but purely to flex the fact that i can get gay married

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

idk probably self harmed

63. three things that turn you on

1. women

2. women

3. women

64. who do you hate?

nobody, really

65. favorite term of endearment?

sweetheart/love GET ME EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! if i ever write some romance y’all will see

66. who was your gay awakening?

idk if you count this as a gay awakening but once when i was like four i said to my dad “if i could marry anyone, i’d marry sarah” (one of my friends) (holy shit i just got kind of sad remembering her i liked her a lot and she had a cool family i need to see if she has an ig)

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

both at the same time

68. what do you look for in a possible partner

women

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

tbh the only styles that are off the table for me are hyper masculine and hyper feminine, anyone else is great

70. are you good at flirting?

i don’t have the confidence to flirt lol

71. who was the first person you came out to?

my friends ellie and lilli, at the same time, on accident

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

the question is do i have friends that aren’t wlw 

73. is your crush wlw?

i believe so

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

this one junior boy who.... oh boy... he’s not hot at all but he’s so nice to literally everyone

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

i don’t feel like i’m attached enough to my crush to write a poem to them

76. do you fall in love easily?

i think so

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

yeah

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

oh hell yeah, at least i think so

79. are you a forgiving person?

depends on what the person did

80. what is your type?

i don’t really have one? being taller than me is nice

81. fall asleep in her arms or tub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

both, with a preference for the first one

82. tall girls or short girls?

TOL

83. hugs or kisses

both, especially at the same time

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

both!!

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

tummy!! thigh kisses are a bit too close to the pussy for my taste

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

hairline

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

both!!!!!!!!!

88. making our or soft kisses

soft kisses

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

both, it just depends on the situation

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

probably 80%

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

idk if i ever blush but i have to REALLY like someone to get butterflies

92. have you ever likes a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

i have multiple times but i’ve only told someone once

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

11 or 12

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

idk, i tend to forget those things

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

i honestly don’t ship many lesbians lmao. can i count my own ocs? bc julia and emily are great

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

i don’t think i’ve actually had anything negative said about my sexuality directly to me, so i’m a bit lucky

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

i honestly have no idea

98. what is love to you?

when we make each other happy

99. ask me anything

i mean my ask is always open if anyone wants to do this

thanks for listening to me be super gay and sad for a little bit

[adachicuto]

model yanan

little prince here was actually hoping to get scouted by modeling agencies but he was super humble about it and not showy

like his ig was so aesthetic and he looked great in all of his posts even the ones where he was clad in sweatpants and a hoodie and he had a pretty big following even before his career started

okay so he worked at this fancy restaurant as a server and let’s take a minute to set up a visual bc he’d have comma hair (side part lol) and he wore a crisp, white button-up

he was super sweet and helpful and a lot of the elderly couples would refer to him as their grandson bc he was always so patient and respectful with them and helped a lot

so yeah, the restaurant is where he got scouted after he struck up a conversation with someone from an agency and they really liked his personality just as much as his visuals

he was so excited after his shift and the smile on his face didn’t falter bc he knew that he made a good impression and was asked to show up for an interview in a few days

you noticed how happy he was since you worked at the same restaurant and had known each other since you both started around the same time so you were basically friends

the interview and etc went really well and after all of it, yanan is officially a model and his first photo shoot goes really well

the only downside to model life, that he saw at the time, was the fact that he could no longer work at the restaurant. and also because he’d miss the banter between the two of you but he promised to keep in touch with you and of course he did

the restaurant owners were sad to see him go bc he was one of their faves but were really proud of him bc he was gonna live his dream

when he could, he’d call and tell you about his day and the photo shoot’s concept and etc.

and even though he got busier and had to limit actually talking to you to strictly texts most of the time, he always checked in with you even if you were on opposite ends of the world and that said a lot since the two of you were only friends

now, he thought it was cool to model for popular brands but he wanted to work the lesser known ones bc that way, he felt like he was actually working toward his career and not handed it if that makes sense

sometimes it was tough but he persevered and he called you once in a while and tell you how he felt like he was making progress of those times when he felt like he wanted to quit

things did get easier though and all of his hard work paid off bc he was able to help the lesser known brand get the kind of exposure they needed and he was proud of himself and grateful for your encouraging words

he was so thankful to have you as a friend that helped him stand back up when he felt down, so thankful that he started to think about you in a different way

sure he was busy with photo shoots and shows but somehow there was still a place in his mind that was filled with the thought of you and as soon as he had a day off, he confessed to you

it wasn’t that difficult for him bc once he was able to list all of the reasons why he wanted to you to be more than friends (and the help of his friend, changgu, who helped him put his feeling in perspective), the whole process of confessing became easier for him and you always had a soft spot for him so yeah

so his career really skyrocketed after more and more people found out about those brands and he was on the cover of magazines but he stayed humble throughout it all

and instead of working with really popular brands, he continued to work with the ones whose exposure was growing bc he’s a sweetheart

when he finally got a break, at least one long enough to visit, he went back home and visited you and his family

your reunion was kinda awkward at first bc of the distance but the two of you realized that you were no longer just friends and “oh, we can kiss now lol” things kinda went back to normal and sweet & salty yanan was back lmao

he even went to the restaurant he used to work at and was surprised with a little congratulations party and it was so cute bc he didn’t really think anyone would miss him but he was wrong

model by yanan is a hardworking, sweet prince who manages to stay humble no matter what and always makes time for those he cares about

[the-imaginarygirl-blog]

A Dream (1)

This dream has been stuck in my head for over a day now, so I’m hopeful that if I write it down, it will no longer float around in my mind. See, it was an incredibly pleasant dream and it brought me happiness that I haven’t felt in years, but the fact that it was a dream and nothing more, that is what devastated me so much.

Allow me to give you some backstory before we jump into the dream.

In middle school all throughout high school I had this really, really deep rooted crush. Let’s, for the sake of this story, call him Lewis. Lewis wasn’t his real name, of course, but that is going to be the name assigned to him today. Lewis and I were really close friends throughout middle school. He was the most similar person to me. We had the same manner of dress, same way of speaking, same music taste, same humor. We were great friends. I’m not sure when I started to develop feelings for my best friend, but it happened one day and I spent so much time denying that it was the truth. After all, I was so shy, and so scared to lose my best friend if he found out that I had a crush on him.

Maybe I should have told him. Maybe if I told him things would have ended up differently. Lewis began to date a girl that we will call Jasmine. Jasmine was a horrible person. She was mean to the core and, I could tell, she hated me. She was a class A bully, and it showed. Once Lewis began to date her, he started to pull away from a lot of his friends. While this is mostly speculation, I’m pretty sure that it was Jasmine that didn’t want Lewis to hang around me anymore. Whether this was because I was a girl, because she knew I liked him, or because she hated me that much, Lewis slowly drifted away and I talked to him less and less. My feelings for him never changed, though.

Lewis and Jasmine were together for a long time. It, from an outsider’s perspective, always seemed like a toxic, on again off again kind of relationship. While we hardly talked anymore, I still occasionally brought him up in conversation. Everyone agreed his girlfriend was a real special piece of work. Surprisingly, everyone also agreed that they thought we would make a cute couple, and that they were sure we would end up together. There were a few times in high school, especially once he broke up with Jasmine, that I thought maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way as I did. That hope was crushed on last time when he started to date this other, horrible girl that, coincidently, also hated my guts. No one knew of my deep fondness to Lewis, but it destroyed me through and through.

Now, on to the dream that I had.

I was so sure that I had buried those feelings I had for Lewis so long ago. I hadn’t thought of him in years as I am now almost finished with my second year of college. So, you might be able to understand my surprise when I woke up, disoriented and deeply in love, only to be crushed all over again. You really have to keep in mind that this dream felt so real. I could still smell the scents in the air. I could feel the fabric of his shirt where my head rested on his shoulder. I could feel the tickle of his hair on my neck. I could hear so clearly his voice, speaking in a way that felt so much like him, that I didn’t realize I was in a dream.

In the dream, me and Lewis were both back from college. We went to our old high school to watch one of the sports teams play a game. Sitting next to each other, though isolated from the rest of the people at the game, we got to talking all idly. It was a colder day, so Lewis just so happened to have brought a blanket that he was willing to share with me. Dropping it over the both of our shoulders, I got bold enough to scoot closer and allow my cheek to press against his shoulder. We watched the game in silence for a while, then he began to speak up, but only in a quiet whisper.

“We were really good friends, weren’t we? At one point?” He had asked me. I remember at that time a cold gust of air has pushed passed and I had a feeling my cheeks were slightly pink both from a blush and from a slight wind burn.

I replied honestly and said “yes, we were. I’ll be honest, I miss the times when we were so close.”

I think he nodded, but he didn’t speak after that for another long pause. We shared the silence for a while longer, neither one of us cheering when the people in the stands cheered. Neither one of us really clapping when our team did something positive in the game. After what felt like eternity, he finally spoke again, his voice had dropped down even quieter, to the point where it felt like I was straining to hear him.

“We would have been good together, huh?”

It was my turn to pause, but then I had mustered up enough courage to just barely breath out a small “yeah” before my eyes closed.

The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wasn’t bliss either. It felt heavy like a blanket pushing down on the both of us. The rest of the world faded out to hallow sounds and all I could do was focus on the steady rocking motions of Lewis breathing, the steady puffs of air he blew out and the small intakes of air be brought in. At one point, his arm had wrapped around me and rested there, half holding me. It filled me with so much happiness that, reader, I couldn’t accurately explain to you. It was as if the stars finally alligned and it was as if everything that was wrong with this world was finally set right again. I was so happy, and I think he was too.

We talked idly for a while. About what, I cannot remember anymore. It was soft talk, most likely about irrelevant things that didn’t hold much substance, but filled the air around us and made us feel safe. It was nearing the end of the game. Our high school, from the sounds of the cheers, had won, and people began to pack up their things to leave before the traffic was too bad. He turned to me with a smile, one hand grabbing on of mine with a distinctive squeeze.

“I’ll call you tonight, okay?”

That’s what he told me. I believed him, but still I made him promise. He laughed at me in that careless, loving laugh that I knew so fondly from the past and agreed. He promised and quickly dragged his finger in the shape of an X over his heart, giving a scouts promise.

I woke up then.

I was so happy, my heart felt complete, and when I looked at my phone, the weight of the world came crashing back down. I realized that it was just a dream. Despite how real it felt, despite how sure I was that I had spent that evening with Lewis, it wasn’t real. I wasn’t going to be getting a phone call. I wasn’t going to be seeing him. I wasn’t going to have the chance to finally call him mind, and hear him call me his. And for some reason, despite having thought those feelings were gone, I cried.

I cried for an hour at least. I cried and looked Lewis up on Facebook just to see where he was now, what he was doing. I cried and mourned for the loss of something that was never mine in the first place.

Sometimes, reader, even the happiest dreams can hurt.

xoxo IG

[honeybellsurveys]

•́ε•̀٥

Do you have a little sister? I wish :( The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?  Too many times to count. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. Think a lot before you fall asleep? Always. Ever been the only one trying to fix a relationship? Sort of. Are you guilty of flirting too much? Nah. Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? Yeah, once or twice. Does virginity matter to you? Not really. Do you know anybody who was abused? Yes. Have you ever bought or sold something on Facebook Marketplace? No. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Not if we are close. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Not really? Is there a difference between just love and in love? For sure. Are you good at admitting your problems? I find it hard to do. How many times have you dated the person you’re with now? Not with anyone currently. Has your cell phone ever rung in class? No, my phone is always on silent anyway. Do you ever feel like just laying down and giving up? Sometimes, but I haven't in a long time. Have you ever lied about your age? When I was younger. Lied about your name? No. Do you sit on the mattresses in furniture stores? Sometimes. Are there some topics that you aren’t very open about? It depends on the person. Have you ever had an encounter with a very dangerous animal? Yes. Have you ever fed a wild animal people food? All the time. Would you rather die or eat another human being? Lmao ya’ll gonna think I'm crazy. Do you wish that animals could talk? Why or why not? Oh my god that would actually be amazing, imagine all the knowledge you’d be able to learn and all the deep friendships you could make. Who did you last fall asleep with? Ruth Ann. Now your cell phone, what color is it? Rose gold. Who were you last in a car with? Katelynn, her bf and Angie. What color was the last vehicle you were in? Silver. Have you had “the best night of your life”?  I hope not. Toilet papered someones house? No. Who was the last person you high-fived? A girl named Amy I met downtown last weekend lmao. Do you own a romper? Yes. What does your computer’s slow-loading cursor look like? Idek. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? I have both so. What was the name of the first porcelain doll you got? Don’t remember. Do you sell any products? If so, what? I don’t. If not, do you want to start a business? ^ Have your parents ever crushed your dreams? No. Do you own anything cheetah print? A pair of period panties lmao. Have you ever made a collage for your bedroom wall? Nope. Do you make DIY projects and gifts? No. Owls or peacocks? Owls. Lions or horses? Lions. Is your kitchen floor black and white checkered? Nope. What do you make wishes on? Shooting stars. What’s the best natural pain reliever? Hot water. Do you like trees? Yes, I love all plants :) What’s your favorite Paramore song? That’s a tough one omg but probably The Only Exception. What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? Baby Pink or a pretty soft yellow !! Do you think you are pregnant? No. Do you like the ocean? I love it, water makes me so happy. Are you too shy to ask someone out? More along the lines of too insecure. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? Yeah. Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon? Maybe, I wanna see The Nun. What are you listening to? “Reflection internal”- Nujabes. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Almost. Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? I don’t live with my parents so there’s no need for that, I'm on the third floor of my building though so if I ever did want to it wouldn’t work out lmao. Can you taste the difference between brand name food and store brand food? Sometimes. Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? Wouldn't be embarrassed to buy any of them. Do you still own a VCR? I have one lying around back home somewhere. Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Yep. Do you own a nightgown?  Yes lmao. Who is one rapper that just always tends to get on your nerves? Why? Cardi B. Has anyone ever made you breakfast in bed? Were they trying to suck up? No one has ever made me it :(( When will be the next time you’ll get a shot? What is this shot anyway? Idk. When will you next eat tacos? Do you even like tacos, or not so much? Idk when I'll eat them next but I like them. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Yep!! Would you or have you ever engaged in casual sex? I guess I sort of have engaged in it before but not really because it lead to a real relationship not long after lmao, however if I had no romantic feelings for someone I would prob engage in it now. What’s your favorite thing about spring? The rain, new life, the melting snow and the smell that’s always in the air. Have you ever tried belly dancing? If so, did you like it? Never tried it haha. Were you a part of any clique in high school? Nah. Have you ever given blood? No but I'd like to. Do you like the way you grew up? Yes I had a very happy childhood. Would you prefer to read or write poetry? Read. If you were to have a child, what would the last name be? Mine ig. Are you currently working? And if so do you like your job? I’m not working. Have you ever walked out on a job or just not showed up? No. Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No, I still am a teen haha. Would you rather be able to fly or walk on water? Fly. What’s the best club you’ve ever been to? Never been to one. Which sport are you the best at playing? Competitive swimming if that counts. Do you know anyone who has gotten pregnant despite using contraception? Probably. Are you planning on buying a house in the near future? No. What was your favorite family vacation you went on as a kid? Trip to Alberta. What’s something about you that others might find unpleasant or off-putting? I can be kind of distant and very quiet at times. Have you ever kissed someone with a beard? Not a full on beard but they had a lil bit of facial hair. When you were younger, did you believe in Santa?  Yeah. Are you going to make your kids believe in Santa? Of course. Have you ever made your own calendar? No. What foreign language did you take in high school? French. Do your parents have gray hair? No. What’s your favorite Katy Perry song? Don’t have one What was the last thing you did that made you feel proud of yourself? Finished my English assignment and figured out the first two questions on my math. What was the last significant and great thing that happened in your life? Started university and met lots of great people. What is your favorite Starbucks’ drink? I don’t go there much but I like their pumpkin spice lattes and refreshers. Who are your last 3 missed calls from? They’re all from my mom haha. Do you like Skittles? Sure. Do you blow dry your hair? Yes. How do you like your eggs? Fertilized. What song is the catchiest song you know? 365 So Fresh! What is your greatest life accomplishment? Don’t know yet. Who is the last person you left a voicemail for? I don't leave those. Which is better: the Twilight book, or the Twilight movie? Neither. Do you enjoy crossword puzzles? Not really idk. Do you own any records?  Yep. Who was the last guy you called? Idk. You can only listen to THREE CDs for the rest of your life. What are they? I’m too tired to think about this. What is the most unique or uncommon thing about you? My whole being is unique and uncommon. What happened the last time you were in a fight with someone? They hung up on me lmao :-) Have you ever been in a physical fight? Who started it? No. What is your favorite type of kiss/way of kissing? Sloppy and sexual with lots of tongue. Favorite form of affection in general/not sexual/etc? Cuddles. What do you think about anime? LOVE. Who is the last person you unfollowed on Tumblr, and why did you do this? I can’t remember who that would be. What are some upcoming concerts in your town/city? There is like a Christian one being held here thanksgiving lmao. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? Not that I know of. Would you rather have potato or chicken noodle soup if you had to? Chicken noodle soup. If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? My nipples rn since they are newly pierced haha. Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Loved learning about Russian history. Have you ever put gum on the bottom of your desk/chair? No. Would you rather go to the movies, drive-in, or stay at home and watch a movie? Go to the movies. Would you ever be a race-car driver? No. What kind of deodorant do you use? Secret cool water lily, smells so good. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite sex? No. What was the last thing you spent a lot of time thinking about? My ex. What do you think about astrology/the zodiac? If you used to believe/not believe in it, what changed your mind? I’m not a super avid believer but I find it to actually be pretty accurate sometimes and I like to learn about it, it’s fun. What is one conspiracy you believe in? Or one you think is total crap? Idk I believe in so many conspiracy theories there are a lot. Where was the last place you didn’t want to go but had to anyway? Class this morning. When was the last time you yelled/screamed and why? I dunno. What was the last big decision you made? Do you think you made the right choice? To breakup with my ex, I think it was the right decision for both of us although it really hurt and still do sometimes. What Hogwarts house are you in? What do you think about the “stereotypes” regarding your house? I always say i’m Slytherin even though I don’t even read/watch Harry Potter. What is something you want to do, but you don’t think you’ll ever be able to? Travel the world. When was the last time you left somewhere for forever (or at least don’t plan on returning)? Dunno. What was the last thing you quit? ^ Do you like to help people? How about animals? Which would you rather help, if it applies? Of course I like to help both, it depends on the situation which I'd like to help more. As an adult, what is the most and least you’ve weighed?  Not sure. What is something you like that no one else you know likes too? No idea. What is something you don’t like that everyone seems to like? X. Do you follow a particular diet/meal-plan/ethic? Nah. What is a subject you tend to avoid with other people, for whatever reason? My sexuality. What is the longest (or most involved) thing you’ve ever written? An English research paper. Do you prefer to live with others or by yourself? Why is this? I have a roommate n I lover her :) the university put us together. What scares you about getting older? The physical effects health wise. What about something you’ve done that sounds too wild to believe? Raised up ducklings in my closet hahah. What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? I don’t know. Do you have a member of the opposite sex you’ve told everything to? Pretty much. What color hair do you find sexiest on the opposite gender? Black n dark brown. Who last slept in your bed besides you? My ex (my bed back home) no one has slept in my dorm bed besides me yet. If the last person you had sex with asked you to date them, would you? I’d heavily consider taking them back but I mean. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? BTS!! I’ve been on the Kpop grind lately. 

[curvyqt]

0 to 100 real quick

1. What have you eaten today? cereal, two slices of pizza

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant? my boy and ohyes

3. What color shoes did you last wear? black and purple adidas

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week? aj always makes me laugh my booty off

5. What is your favorite scent? aj’s shower gel tbh

6. What is your favorite season? Why? Ive decided on summer bc the beach, pool, bathing suits, messy hair, sun on my skin. i love it all

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel? nah

8. What color are your nails? they’re not painted at the moment

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be? probably something that looks like a henna design near my hair line

10. What is something you find romantic? forehead kisses, unexpected hand holding, surprises, making plans for our future

11. Are you happy? very

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad? thinking about the months to come makes me happy

13. Dogs or Cats? both always

14. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library? any except a night club for the most part

15. What is your style? sometimes sporty, sometimes cute with dresses, most of the time leggings with a cozy shirt lol

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? climbing into bed with my honey

17. Are you in a relationship or single? relationship 

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? the way he makes me laugh, how he holds me, that he can make everything feel alright, his honesty, and outlook on life. and obviously his cute ass face ;p

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with? honestly no one

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what? nope

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween? stayed in and studied with honey

22. Have you recently made any big decisions?  eh not really

23. Were you ever in a school play? yes and choir for 13 years straight

24. What movie would you use to describe your life? u got me thinking rlly hard but uhh

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? waiting for the right time in life

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…” the last piece of pizza with. o wait i doooo

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex? the pettiness, the way they hate on other girls for no reason, thinking they’re better than everyone. like can we all just love and be nice thanks 

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex? umm how some don’t understand womens rights/how women aren’t equal to them in society

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week? when aj bought me girl scout cookies and pjs heh

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it? donald. trump. (more like scared but)

31. How long was your longest relationship? 3 and a half years and counting xo

32. Have you ever been in love? yes

33. Are you currently in love? yes

34. Why did your last relationship end? we weren’t right for each other. 

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it? the ring and necklace my honey gave me

36. When was the last time you cried and why? today bc this guys wife died in the show we were watching :( 

37. Name someone pretty. @my cat adele and lacey

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day? some panties, chocolates, a lush gift set, a stuffie and some hello kitty stuff

39. Do you get jealous easily? nope

40. Have you ever been cheated on? probably idk 

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend? with all of my heart 

42. Ever had detention? yes in high school yikes

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city? i like the city but id also like somewhere more in a neighborhood.

44. What do people call you? mostly jenn and jenny. at work I’m rlly known as jennbunn/jennybunnie (bc i do really nice hair buns lol) and jenny from the block. aj and i have a billion nicknames for each other lol

45. What was the last book you read?  the poetry book Dirty Pretty Things

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you? i can be a dork sometimes *pushes up glasses* 

47. What kind of music do you listen to? everything. really. hip hop, rap, country, oldies, classical, punk rock

48. How tall are you? 5 feet 4 inches

49. Do you like kids? in they’re well behaved lol

50. Favorite fruits? watermelon, strawberry, pineapple yum

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? jeans 

52. What’s your earliest memory? after my parents divorced we had to go see my dad for visits every other weekend and i remember that. i was only 2. 

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you? yes :*

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind. i love taking pictures. my iPad/iphone has to be the biggest gb 

55. Do you have a collection of anything? makeup!!!!! so much makeup. and duckies

56. Do you save money or spend it? i try to do both

57. What would your dream house be like? huge. beautiful and modern with a big yard with an inground pool, volleyball court, basketball court and lots of grass space. the inside would have enough bedrooms for friends/family to stay over if need be. so minimum probably 4. id have my own room that could have my vanity and all of my makeup in it. the master would have a giant closet and the master bathroom would have a double wide shower and huge jacuzzi tub. we’d have an office/library, a workout room, a music room, a beautiful kitchen and a basement with a game room and a theater/movie room. (i love home design lol) 

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest? people being unnecessary, rude people, people always trying to start something, pettiness, people being mean to animals 

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face? aj ma. the beach. when my makeups on point. payday. my kitties. shopping. 

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? ig I’m getting fired

61. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? id tell aj and no one else. id live life luxuriously and happily. id be a tad afraid but at least I’m prepared and able to live the rest of my days to the fullest. 

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. love

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Hawaii 

64. Do you like the beach? i love the beach

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special? all the time

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it! joyce

67. Do you talk to yourself? sometimes 

68. Describe your hair. pretty long, light brown, wavy/curly depending how it drys, soft, and thick

69. What is the meaning of life. To find what you love and who you love and to do whatever that is and enjoy it with whoever that is. 

70. What is your ideal partner like? well his name is aj ma 

71. Do you want to get married? yes

72. Do you want to have kids? I’m honestly not sure yet.

73. Like or dislike your family? like for the most part. some of them tho…yikes

74. Are you Chunky or Slim? thick as fuck

75. Would you consider yourself smart? id say so

76. What would you change about your life? can i be a millionaire lol

77. Religious or Not? not at all

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? this wouldn’t happen soo 

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? not at all ;p

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? yes my honey

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? in bed, being naughty and then sleeping all cuddled up

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? he has a key but id still open the door if i was right there 

83. Do you like when people play with your hair? loveee it

84. Do you like bubble baths? yes so much

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop? yup for an out tail light but no ticket

86. Have you ever danced in the rain? yes and kissed. its great

87. Do you trust anyone with your life? aj ma

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning? did aj wake up for class? 

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week) hawaii, italy, paris, vietnam, australia, new york, rio, san francisco, washington, mexico. 

90. How was your day today? pretty good

91. Play an instrument?  nah

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean. fascinating, kinda scary but oh so beautiful. 

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? both yes

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be? even better.

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side? if need be lmao

96. When are you vulnerable? when I’m on my period

97. How much free time do you have? a pretty good amount

98. Do you like to go hiking? i hope to this summer!

99. Odd or Even Numbers? odd

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities? I really would try any of those things as long as aj was by my side

Thanks for asking!!!