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rn-zane · 2 years ago

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SETTING: the er TIMING: current SUMMARY: emilio is not quite ready to let the vampire nurse off the hook. zane just wants to do his job.

Though he’d never actually spent any significant amount of time in one before, it quickly became obvious to Emilio that he hated hospitals. The smell of them, the feeling in the air… It would have been a little too much even without enhanced senses intensifying it all.

But this was important enough to sacrifice his own comfort. He’d been meaning to get back to uncovering the motivations behind the vampire he’d run into outside the hospital since the day it happened, but other things kept getting in the way. The shit with Joy, the qutrub, the Teddy problem… It had been a whirlwind lately, and Emilio hadn’t had time to sleep, much less do this.

Things had finally calmed down a little now. He still ached more than he ought to, and the new stitches on his arm itched in a way that was making it hard to resist the urge to scratch at them or remove them himself with one of the knives in his coat pocket, but this was easy work. Sitting in the hospital waiting room, glaring at the wall and watching a certain nurse flitter around the different rooms… No one could say he wasn’t taking it easy.

That didn’t mean it wasn’t without irritation, of course. One of the other nurses (one with a heartbeat; he’d listened to make sure) kept approaching him, worried expression etched into her face. So far, she’d just hovered nearby, looking at him like she thought he might collapse at any moment. It was a little dramatic. Emilio didn’t look that bad. Sure, he hadn’t slept in a few days and the injuries from the qutrub attack were in that stage of healing where they looked a lot worse than they actually felt, but he was fine. Slayers needed little sleep and healed at a quicker rate than humans. Not that he could say that to the nurse.

“Sir, if you’d just let me —”

“Fuck off,” Emilio snapped without meaning to, feeling a little guilty the moment the words left his mouth. But they were effective, at least. The nurse quickly scurried off, and he settled back into the uncomfortable plastic chair. Finally. Without the distraction, he could focus on why he was actually here.

—

Evenings were always more hectic. Patients were more restless, some of them more drunk (even though daytime didn’t stop all of them for reaching for alcohol) and the staff was usually a bit more worn out. It was never a surprise when two or more nurses gathered at the workstation that there was tension needing to be released. Zane usually didn’t take part, at least not in complaining about his own patients, but he listened in and gave advice if appropriate. Sometimes it was helpful to switch patients, even, especially if some of the more tactless patients were being… uncomfortable to the younger girls. Zane’s appearance, 6 feet of toned muscle (and for some the color of his skin) was enough to get them behaving. Or for them to leave, which was sometimes a better option.

This time, he was frantically working on throwing words into the computer in order to get to the next patient when one of the nurses, Irma, approached him apologetically. “Is there any chance I can take over room 5 and you get the weird one who won’t even tell me why he’s here? He’s just been sat there for an hour now, looking like he’s definitely on something and now he told me to… F off.” Her puppy dog eyes weren’t really necessary, Zane would have helped her out anyway, but they warranted a pitying smile.

A quick look at the desktop showed that there was no patient waiting to be seen. Had this guy just walked in here somehow? The thought occurred to call security, just in case, head craning over the top of the counter to look into the open space beyond. Oh.

It had been dark and panicky but Zane definitely recognized that face. It was just as ragged as the first time he’d seen him only… well, the fluorescent lighting wasn’t doing him any favors. He definitely looked like he belonged in the ER, preferably on a hospital bed. It was tempting to just vanish but the thought was deemed stupid the second it arose. The guy knew where he worked, obviously, so running wasn’t going to help him. Would Zane get stabbed in the middle of the ER? Honestly, there was a small chance, judging by the lack of stability this guy was exuding. The only option, as unappealing as it sounded, was to talk to the guy -the slayer- before he berated more of the staff. Or worse, got tired of sitting around and decided to corner Zane off somewhere quiet. Public was probably better. Probably.

It felt incredibly silly, walking up to the confirmed murderer of vampires with nothing but a styrofoam glass of water in his hand, but Zane was going for it now. No turning back. “Hey,” came the hesitant greeting once he finally made his way over, having slowed his pace considerably down from ‘nurse in the ER’ setting, keeping a couple of feet between them still. Just enough to awkwardly hold out the glass. “It’s just water,” he added dumbly, part of him hoping he would take it so that Zane could see his hands, which were hopefully weapon free at the moment.

—

He felt him before he saw him. That familiar tingling on the back of his neck was almost a comfort, these days. With the undead, at least, Emilio usually knew what to expect. With some of the rest of Wicked’s Rest’s oddities… it was hard to know how to react.

He straightened in his seat, tension tightening his muscles as the vampire approached. This really wasn’t what he was hoping for. He should have staked the place out from the outside, really — much less chance of being caught that way — but his curiosity here lay in what the nurse was doing within the walls of the hospital. He could easily feed off a patient who was already dying and send them to the morgue a little ahead of time without arising too many suspicions, after all. Privately, Emilio had already added that to his list of potential reasons as to why the vampire had this particular job. People were at their most vulnerable in the hospital. It wasn’t hard to assume that this man might be taking advantage of that.

Eyes narrowing as the vampire entered his space, Emilio glared at the cup of water. “Pass,” he said flatly, shoving his hands into his pockets to avoid taking it. Like hell was he going to drink something offered to him by this guy. The nurse hadn’t killed him the last time they’d met, even when he’d had every chance to… but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t change his mind now. If he was up to something, and he realized Emilio was on to him? He’d probably off him just to keep him quiet. And while poisoning wasn’t a typical threat when it came to vampires, the slayer wasn’t about to risk it.

Though the odds of the vampire killing him in a public setting seemed low, especially in his own place of work. Emilio would wager that the vampire wanted to keep this particular job, especially if he was using it to steal blood. (He’d looked it up, after. The blood in bags. It still seemed so foreign to him, the idea of going that far to save someone who was bleeding out. Back home, with his family… He tried not to think of it.) Still, the nervousness remained. His eyes darted around the room, making note of the people surrounding him. The nurse he’d snapped at before was throwing him wary looks, the patient with the glass sticking out of his arm was trying to sneak a drink from a flask that the staff must have missed, the kid with the broken arm was sniffling in a way that made Emilio’s chest ache a little. It didn’t look like the vampire had any accomplices here. So what was the play?

“You put on a good show,” he commented, eyes darting back to the vampire’s face. They glanced down quickly to the name badge on his chest, making a note of that, too. Zane Rosario. Was that his real name, Emilio wondered, or an alias? “Anybody here know what you’re up to?” He left it vague. Let Zane think he knew more than he did. People were always more likely to slip up that way.

—

So this guy was still as unfriendly and tense as before, excellent. The water had been a long shot but Zane’s posture was still resigned as he placed it on a nearby counter. It was tempting to chug the whole thing just to prove to this guy that it was just water but some smarter part of his brain whispered not to escalate the situation. Shrugging it off, grasping desperately at his composure while feeling eyes on the back of his head. Probably Irma, wondering whether or not to call security or maybe just being curious. She probably had other things to do, he thought with some annoyance, at least thankful that she didn’t possess the skill of lip reading. A perk of the ER was that even in such an open setting, most of their conversation would go unheard due to the constant ringing of bells and chatter around.

“Suit yourself,” he said, a fake air of calm to his voice as he took a seat next to the man, leaving one chair empty between them. It was an advantage, standing in front of him but he didn’t want the man to look at him like a threat. Might mean he ended up getting stabbed but that seemed to be more than a 50/50 chance either way so why not go down swinging. Metaphorically, as in trying to talk to the guy and get him off his back. It hadn’t gone unnoticed, tired eyes flicking to the name badge hanging from his pocket, and Zane felt an even deeper urgency to make sure this guy didn’t feel a need to track him anymore. If that was even possible.

“It’s not a show,” Zane answered quietly, eyes trained on the man, prepped for any sudden movement. Not that the guy looked very capable of sudden movements, his posture off, eyes tired and face bruised. Zane didn’t particularly want to know the outcome of whoever - or whatever - had managed to bruise this guy so bad. “Fully qualified nurse. Been here two years, more if you count school hours. Definitely equipped to see why Irma over there wanted to get you into a hospital bed.” The last part mostly slipped out on accident, practiced mind taking note of everything that made the man look about ready to keel over. Zane had seen people in full on liver failure that somehow managed to look better.

“And no, no one knows about the bags. I make sure there’s always enough left in case of a big trauma and it just gets chalked up to a mistake in charting. Definitely not legal but it shouldn’t hurt anyone. It hasn’t hurt anyone.” It would be an easy way to lose his job, if this man slipped a hint that the emergency blood was disappearing and not just wrapped up in the confusion of shitty charting. For a moment, that almost felt like a worse thought than getting stabbed.

“Are you going to tell them? Or just follow me when I leave and turn me into dust?” It was straightforward, more direct than he usually found himself capable of in any conversation, but there wasn’t much to lose, really.

—

Every time Zane moved, Emilio tensed. Like a rubber band pulled taut, ready to snap at any moment and take someone’s eye out with very little hope of anything resembling actual aim. He’d been on edge for years now, and the presence of a vampire only ever made that worse. Sometimes, he could work through it. If he could puzzle out their motivations, if he could understand what made them tick. But Zane? He was a mystery. The hospital setting only added to Emilio’s nervousness, the unfamiliarity of it all leaving him feeling like he was trying to stand on a plastic raft in the middle of an ocean storm. The beeping of the machines, the wide open room full of people in various states of disrepair, the unfamiliar and overwhelming scent of antiseptic in the air… It all felt like an assault on his senses. The fact that he was still recovering from the qutrub incident certainly didn’t help, either. Maybe it had been a bad idea, coming here. Maybe a more active hunt would have served him better, something simple like a spawn that didn’t require any kind of thought.

He narrowed his eyes as Zane sat, but relaxed minutely when the action put them on more even footing. If you were sitting and your opponent was standing, you were at a disadvantage before the fight even began. Emilio could swing it, sure — his mother had made sure he was trained and ready for just about any scenario she could imagine, and she’d always had a vast imagination — but in his current state, it would have been a rough one.

“Everything’s a show,” he replied, waving a hand dismissively. Because it was. All anyone ever did was put on an act, trying to convince the outside world they were something they weren’t. Zane put on a pair of scrubs and went to work as a nurse and pretended to be human. Emilio put a paper sign on his apartment door and got out of bed in the mornings and pretended he still felt like he was alive. Zane, it seemed, put a little more effort into his act than Emilio had for his. He didn’t know what a person had to do to be ‘fully qualified’ as a nurse, but he assumed it was something a little more complicated than his process of opening up Axis. He tensed a little as the vampire spoke, eyes darting to the beds spread around the room. “I don’t need one of those,” he bit out, turning back to Zane to shoot him a glare. “I’m fine. So maybe you’re not a good nurse.” A petty dig, maybe, but he’d always had a habit of going low when he felt out of his depth.

Ah, there it was. So he did have something on Zane, something to hold over his head. But how much did the vampire actually care about legalities? Given the fact that he seemed very interested in knowing whether or not Emilio was going to spill the beans, he must have been at least a little concerned. The hunter relaxed a little more, confident that he had the upper hand now in spite of everything.

“I won’t tell anyone,” he said, “if you tell me why you need so many. I know it isn’t all for you.” Not with how he’d reacted to the implication last time. And while one vampire could be fine on their own, Emilio had found that clans were always a threat. It was only a matter of time before they grew dissatisfied with whatever Zane was getting them, if they hadn’t already.

—

The only times Zane knew not to take a low dig at himself to heart was at the hospital, coming from a distraught patient. Or in this case, an angry slayer. Fighting back seemed to be ingrained in some people’s genes and nurses tended to take the brunt of it, especially if they were delivering news that the recipient didn’t agree with. It was a fact that this guy needed a long, long admission (maybe to the psych ward, jury was still out on that) and the clear denial in the man’s voice made it even more clear. “Don’t look fine,” was all he muttered as a response, dropping this particular fight because really, why did he want this killer better? He shouldn’t want to, at least…

It was almost palpable, the shift in the atmosphere once Zane had asked about the man’s intentions. There was more confidence now and Zane definitely found himself shrinking under the weight of it. Worry creeped into every corner at the generous deal the slayer made. “I’m… helping others out. Just a favor. Keeping people, y’know… not hungry.”

It wasn’t a real lie, probably how it slipped so easily off his tongue. The words were still chosen carefully because Zane knew his frazzled mind, especially in a panic. Things could escape when they weren’t meant to and he didn’t want this guy having any more information than he needed to (hopefully) decide Zane wasn’t a threat. At least, that’s what he assumed the slayer was after. If he just really hated all vampires and wanted every last one of them dead, why show up at the hospital to watch him? Maybe he was just keeping Zane alive to find the rest of his people, since Zane had so brilliantly revealed that information to him the last time.

“Look, just…” Zane blew out a breath, hands rubbing over his face in the hope for some composure. “I don’t know what you want from me. I’ll leave the emergency blood alone, keep doing my job and in the unlikely event that I feel like… I don’t know, tearing someone’s throat out or whatever it is you think I’m doing around here, I’ll come find you myself and let you have at it.” The sentence ran away from him, spiraling into God’s honest truth. If he ever hurt someone on purpose, let alone… yeah, he’d definitely want someone to get rid off him permanently. He met that man’s gaze, even though he felt like cowering under the weight of it, face earnest; desperate, even. “I’m not here to hurt people.”

—

A baseline human might not have picked up on Zane’s quiet mumbles, but slayer healing worked in Emilio’s favor. Or maybe against it, considering how irritated he felt by the nurse’s words. “Nobody asked you to look,” he snapped, anger burning in his chest. Being reminded of the weakness that came with injury was never a good feeling. He should have been better than this. Shouldn’t have needed help, shouldn’t have accepted it. You handled your shit on your own, or you died trying. That was what he’d been taught, how he’d been raised.

Of course, he wasn’t sure how much he was adhering to how he’d been raised these days, anyway. If he were really taking all his mother’s lessons to heart, he wouldn’t be having a conversation with a vampire now. He wouldn’t be sitting here trying to determine whether or not this was a monster who needed slaying. His mother would have been ashamed to see him now, would have been furious. Vampires were good for nothing but killing, she’d say, but Emilio was no longer sure he believed that. It was a vampire who had killed his daughter, but it was a slayer who’d given them the opportunity to do so.

“What others?” He pushed the subject, dissatisfied with the vague answer he was given. He might not believe everything his mother had pushed at him anymore, but some of it was hard to dispute. A vampire clan was far more dangerous than the same vampires would have been on their own. Mob mentality bred a certain level of arrogance, and when inhuman things grew arrogant, it was human beings who suffered. All a vampire needed in order to become a monster was to believe it was above the humanity it had once held. Emilio had seen that firsthand more times than he could possibly count.

But… this was kind of new. Not Zane’s insistence that he wasn’t what Emilio thought he might be — everyone claimed that, even when the proof was right in front of them all — but the offer to change. Emilio wasn’t sure stealing blood was much of a problem (it was certainly better than the alternative), but Zane offering to no longer do it? That was interesting. Almost as interesting as the offer to deliver himself to Emilio if he ever crossed that line. He sounded so damn earnest that the hunter almost believed him. “I just want to know who you’re working with. If you won’t tell me, I have to believe they’re bad. You wouldn’t need to protect them if they weren’t, no?”

—

This was getting way too real, the push for an answer coming faster and stronger now. This guy wasn’t going to let up, Zane could tell, even though he’d been childishly hoping otherwise just a few moments before. There was no telling what amount of information would satisfy; how many vampires, all of their names, where they lived? Even though this man didn’t seem very capable of team work, visible even from the brief interactions Zane had had with him, the thought of a group of slayers appearing on their doorsteps locked itself in a vice grip around Zane’s heart.

“I’m not trying to hide anything they’ve done, I just… I’m new.” It was almost definitely an overshare, even more ammo for this man to load up with if or when he finally decided he was tired of seeing Zane’s face around. Either way, it was out there. “And they’re family. Telling someone like… like you would put them at risk. I can’t.”

His head was starting to ache, the muscles in his jaw overworked from tension since the moment he spotted the slayer sitting here. The anxiety was starting to pull at his edges, whispering about a future where he lost yet another family because he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut. Even just sitting here, talking to the man was starting to feel like betrayal - he should have told Alma about the first time they’d met immediately. Only… he hadn’t. It could have been the words this man had used about the vampire Zane had known only on the surface - now a pile of dust - or the fact that some nagging part of him had started to feel the secrets gathering up inside the house. With every meeting, held behind closed door, the thought that there was something he wasn’t allowed to know had started to scratch harder at him.

“Even if they were bad, I wouldn’t be the person to know.”

—

He was new? Christ. Emilio had been operating under the impression that this was an older vampire — one who’d gotten a job at a hospital in order to gain easy access to food, either through the blood bags or the patients — but he was beginning to realize that this wasn’t the case. Someone must have turned him recently, if this whole thing wasn’t an act. Was it because of his position here? Was he the pawn instead of the mastermind, a tool someone was using to fuel some clan that would almost certainly become a problem in the near future? It occurred to him, briefly, that taking this guy out might help slow that down. Cutting off their supply to the blood bags would almost definitely throw a wrench in things, after all. But he dismissed the thought quickly with a pit in his stomach. He wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t think the vampire deserved to die or because he knew they’d probably just turn another nurse for the same deal. He wasn’t sure which answer made him a worse person. Depended on who you asked, probably.

“They’d only be at risk if they deserved to be,” he insisted, though he knew Zane had little reason to believe him. Emilio knew his morality, but it wasn’t something most other people understood. The undead saw a slayer as a slayer more often than not, regardless of what kind of a ‘code’ he might follow. And hunters had a bad habit of seeing anyone who let something supernatural walk as a coward, no matter the reasoning. Emilio knew that, with his newfound exceptions, he could never be fully understood by either group.

Not that he particularly wanted to be understood. Right now, in this moment, sitting on this uncomfortable plastic chair with a million aches in his bones? He just wanted answers. He wanted to know what was coming, wanted a threat to make the noise in his head make sense, wanted something he could kill so his hands could stop shaking even if it was only for a moment. And he was beginning to realize that Zane wasn’t it. Not a big, bad monster, not something that needed killing. Just someone who might have gotten pulled into something bigger than him, just a naive nurse who thought he was helping people. Christ. Emilio grit his teeth, nostrils flaring in frustration. “If you don’t tell me,” he warned, “I’m going to find out some other way.”

—

There was annoyance filtering through the man’s exterior now, along with some resignation. The resolve seemed to be cracking at the edges, barely concealed pain starting to peek through with every barely noticeable shift in the man’s body, trying to find a comfortable spot on the chair. Despite the thinly veiled threats and general demeanor, Zane was still finding it hard to quell down the empathic worry for the man. The noticeable limp from their first meeting had been enough for any healthcare worker to raise an eyebrow at but the look of him now…

“I’m sure you will,” Zane agreed, long since onto the fact that this man didn’t seem to give up on things easy. “But I have nothing to tell you.” Maybe he wasn’t getting murdered tonight. It was still a faint possibility for the future, that much was sure, but something told him that the slayer wouldn’t be waiting outside the hospital with a stake. Zane could be wrong, instincts leading him to believe - or hope - in the best in people.

“I think… or I hope I know where you’re coming from. If you’re just trying to help, then I definitely understand. Not the murder part so much but…” he trailed off, the end of the sentence not even a fully formed thought but more so a feeling. Killing those that killed others was very biblical, not something Zane could agree with but if there was at least some moral code to it… “And I wasn’t just saying that to get you off my back before. About finding you if… Not that I would have any idea where to find you but I guess you would find me first.”

His attention snapped to the other side of the room where an alarm was going off, the fact that he was still at work finally sinking in again. He rose from the chair, hands fumbling in his pockets as he stood. “I need to get back there…” he started, fingers finally finding the film covered card of painkillers in his pockets, meant for the broken leg in room four. It was placed on the seat next to the slayer, experience teaching Zane that the man wouldn’t accept anything from his hand, and he shuffled on his feet for a moment before departing with an awkward nod of acknowledgement.

—

Nothing to tell. It was disappointing but, in a way… it also wasn’t. If Zane wasn’t lying — and it didn’t seem like he was — it meant he wasn’t involved in any of the potential ‘darker’ parts of what might be happening with whatever clan he’d landed himself with. And, for some reason, Emilio liked that. He didn’t think he actually wanted to kill the guy. It was kind of nice, knowing it probably wouldn’t come to that. Like a quiet relief, even if it shouldn’t have been.

“Don’t know if murder is the best word for it,” he replied with a shrug. Murder, to him, implied the loss of something. Murder seemed to speak of a tragedy, of something terrible. What Emilio did was more akin to… taking out the garbage. It was a chore, but it would start to stink if you kept putting it off. He clicked his tongue, nodding his head. “You cross that line, you don’t have to find me. I know exactly where to find you.” The warning was clear in his tone, and it was clear that he meant it.

The alarms broke whatever spell they’d been in, served as a reminder that they weren’t the only two people in this particular room. They were still in a hospital, and Zane was still on duty. The interrogation seemed to have ended, anyway; with Zane unable to offer him what he needed, Emilio would have to track down the information in some other way. He found himself hoping that the nurse wouldn’t get in his way. It’d be a shame to stake him.

He only remained in the chair a minute or two after Zane left. With what he’d come for finished, there wasn’t much that would have been able to convince Emilio to stay in the hospital and risk another worried nurse approaching him. And if the pills Zane had left behind made it home with him? That wasn’t really anyone else’s business.

#mortemoppetere #the devil you don't know #emilio.002 #writing #p:emilio

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thepmsjournal · 3 months ago

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To My Dearest Toby,

Toby, my Tow2x, Chudow, Chugudong, 豆豆，where do I start? Very few understand the special bond we shared… I cannot describe the pain I’m feeling right now; it feels like I will never get over this pain of losing you. I must’ve cried buckets of tears already. You were truly the goodest boy anyone could ask for.

Since you were a puppy, I brought you with me wherever I went, whenever I could. Cafes, resorts, parks, milk tea places, malls, my workplace, even bars. Whether we were just hanging out, or watching fireworks (that probably stressed you out), even when I was working, you were always so quiet under the treatment bed, and well-behaved. You were the most gentle dog.

I’m glad we brought you to Manila with us during the pandemic. You were depressed at first but eventually adjusted to our life there. We made the most of it and found simple joys in our stay. Thank you for being with me all throughout my pregnancy. I remember endlessly assuring you that you were my first baby and would never be replaced. But I feel guilty that I didn’t give you as much attention as I used to, and didn’t take you out as much once the twins were born. Somehow I neglected you… and I’m truly sorry for that. Still, you remained patient, always by my side.

You went through hell on the flight back from Manila and spent almost 12 hours in the airport holding area, I was worried sick without any updates from the airline. You must’ve spent the whole night terrified and stressed. I hated myself for subjecting you to that. But you were brave and made it back safely, thank God. But I promised myself then that I would never put you through that again until airlines allowed ordinary pets onboard. You were most relaxed in Kandaya; I know that will always be one of your happy places because we shared so many memories there. You were the most patient big brother to the twins.

I thought I’d have more years with you. I was planning to take you to Kandaya again when I returned. Since you didn’t like walking as much lately, I was going to buy a stroller for you. I thought I’d still take you out and put you in it so you could enjoy the experience. But, like Buddha said, that’s the problem—we think we have time. I deeply regret not doing those things sooner for you.

In 2023, you rapidly gained weight.. We all noticed it but the Vet said your blood works were fine, and that it was probably due to aging. So we stopped worrying so much. I reviewed the CCTV footage from that day, searching for any signs, but you seemed like your usual self. There was nothing to suggest that later that night, you would be gone. It all happened so fast.

I resent that I wasn’t beside you when you crossed the rainbow bridge, but at least I was on video call with you until your last breath. I’m scared to step into the house without you in it. I honestly don’t know how to recover from this; it feels like my heart has been ripped open. I didn’t even get to hug you one last time.

Thank you, Toby. Thank you for the wonderful memories, for being by my side for more than 9 years. I hope you lived a good life, thank you for trusting me with it.

—————

To those who didn’t get to meet Toby:

Toby was the kind of dog that makes you never want to get another dog, ever again.

He was the kind of dog who never left your side, never wandered too far, even off-leash. He came back right away when you called him, never picked fights with other dogs, kept walking even when they provoked him, let you groom him without moving, sat still in the car, let you bathe and cuddle him without complaint, never snapped at children or anyone, and slept on your arm or near you.

In short, he was the perfect dog.

And he is my greatest heartache. 💔

#petloss #personal

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starvette · 2 years ago

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T 34/90 fuck I'm not really Kitavan anymo

Hey. The third of July was so stormy I slept like a puppy without a care in the world. Some very good stuff happened. I didn't sleep for a day which messed me the hell up and I was once more can't-lift-my-arm-up exhausted for the next two days. But I want to write now because I have a new action in mind.

I'm going to be standing or walking as much as possible first for the next week and then for another week. Now, since this will be very difficult and change my routines I thought I must blog about it. I will have to finally surrender the incessant reading. I mean I can still read on laptop, it's just more difficult. I guess I'll pretend I became Ali and moved to a horse farm and now run around all day (although you do sit when you ride a horse...) or I became a nurse, or I got a job at H&M, or I became nineteen year old waitress Lana, or went to K-pop idol camp. I realize that living this way indoors at all times might get unbearable so I'm prepared to put on UVmune and head out during the day. Just doing all this for the so far incurable KP. It hasn't budged an inch and it's fucking distressing. I'm most worried that I did this to myself with those failed laser treatments. They may have killed my oil glands. What if I'm like those poor bastards who LASIKd their eyeballs?

Last evening (it's a little past midnight now) I got Haribo strawberries. They were incredible at first, and then whatever. Then I watched Lilja for twelve minutes but it was enough to get me down. People weren't fucking kidding when they said it's a bummer. The candies with tea were meant as my preworkout and, hey, it worked, but Lilja got me scared of jogging at nearly midnight.

What happened with kitavaning? It's a mess. I've been eating sweets or fruit and then running or at least biking or dancing soon after. That would be fine as I indeed get energized and don't bloat, but still it's been fucking hard to coordinate sleeping, eating, shopping and then running at the right time. But then, everything changed when I heard San Millan explain that zone two training is where you burn more fat than glucose! So then I'm not even supposed to OD on sugar before training? See, I went on my first 'zone two' run and it turned out a damn slow pace and even that may have been too fast. It was so much easier than the hell I usually put myself through that I really may not even need to sugarize beforehand. And he did train a champion, he's the real deal! I tried to understand the biochem behind it but it went over my head. I realized I have to sit (stand) through those conversations in small increments with a pen and paper. But from what I gathered so far metabolically healthiest people primarily burn fat for fuel. And it's not because they're on keto diet, they just run or bike a lot. Before I heard that, I thought I could binge on sugar as long as I become an athlete and burn it off.

I have much to do and I'm not even allowed to sit down and it's been two hours since I ate those candies so I really bloody need to go bike them off.

I've been getting what seem like sugar crashes. First I feel faint, then I get pale and hot, and sweaty, and finally have to go lie down. Well, I got one again, while biking. First I felt funny, then I feared falling off my bike and cracking my skull - you know, all in the name of good health, then I got hot and had to take off my hood and open my jacket a little, got a little sweat on my lip, had to slow down, and then finally step off and walk, especially up any slope I encountered. It was bad and I didn't have my wallet so I couldn't just go get a vending machine hot chocolate. Eventually I got better and biked home full speed covered in cold sweat. I was so smelly I had to shower. Recuperated with Valsoia vegan seed oil ice cream which I'd sadly left out to thaw a tad too long. Should've done three hours instead of four. So that was an imperfect binge. I've had a total of two of those boxes and I'm scared it will become a problem. It tastes like cake without all the biscuit stuff. One thing I've decided I will stick with iron lady style is the three months off gluten. I accidentally got far (19 days) with it and now failure is not an option. Great deterrent when I want cake or wafers or, geez, especially pastries. But the sad thing is, gluten free is not gonna do fuck all.

I realize now that I hadn't eaten anything since 10AM in the morning. Then that tiny baggy of Haribo twelve hours later. Maybe that was the actual cause for the crash?

Yesterday I had the worst craving for LIDL currant sorbet while watching The Idol finale. Like, it couldn't be just currant sorbet either. It had to come with the The Idol. I killed many an hour writhing in my cravings, waiting for the torrent to drop. Well, I ate it and saw the finale, and even danced for an hour after! Two hours go by - sudden sugar crash. I was dumbfounded.

I didn't burn the ice cream, just fell asleep for two hours to Lava Lamp playlist. Woke up intermittently hearing some angelic shit. It was nice.

So, in the light of this San Millan stuff and my sugar crashes, I should probably quit the sweet stuff again. I think I will eat canned beans for a preworkout three, maybe four hours before running. After all, hunter gatherers don't eat candy nor fake ice cream and they can still run. Notably, I just saw mime reporting that zone two runs worsened his VO2 max whereas prior zone four or so runs had steadily increased it. He has an Apple watch so he can measure fun shit like that.

I ruined the rest of the day, starting ten in the morning. I laid on my side (a new favorite hobby), then got a third box of that ice cream and swore up and down I'll never have it again. Binged on that after a two hour thaw. Turned out that it never thaws to a perfect consistency, but it was still nice. Then I felt like potato chips and Kardashians so, what the hell, I got two giant expensive vegan bags. Then I fell asleep. Woke up, finished ice cream leftovers with coffee. And it was still fucking delicious. Yeah. But I'll tell you the reason for all this. The truth is, I'm having mental breakdowns over the KP. I just don't have a plan for it anymore and it's looking fucking hopeless. I don't know why this nightmare refuses to end. It's been probably ten years now.

#tour de france #the idol #lava lamp

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years ago

Note

I come bearing a request! The Brothers with an MC who's really good at cooking and baking? Like, the stuff food blogs dream of. Master-level instagram pastries. Could compete with the chocolate guy if they put their mind to it.

👀 ooooo, I do love me some pastries-

(I know you have an *ahem* distaste for Lucifer, dear moot, so enjoy Lucifer acting like a bit of a dingus in his section!)

Lucifer

Oh, the human can cook. *insert asshole eyeroll here*. Great. Wonderful. Groundbreaking. That’s what’s got all his brothers acting like- what was that word Levi used? Simps? This human has turned six of the seven rulers of hell into a bunch of simps.

Sure, the human has near godlike cooking prowess. Sure, everyone looks forward to their day for cooking. And sure, everyone thinks the human’s pretty great.

Tsk, not him though. He’s a refined demon. Some silly food isn’t going to make him a lovesick fool… did he smell eclairs..?

Lucifer peered into the kitchen to see MC carefully taking a tray of eclairs out of the oven and letting them cool off on the counter. His favourite dessert… right there in front of him…

Due to not being a total moron, MC notices Lucifer and asks him what the hell he’s doing just standing ominously in the doorway. Lucifer makes up some bullshit excuse about reminding MC to do their homework and just leaves. Okay, game plan, he needs those fucking eclairs or he will spontaneously combust.

As he snuck into the kitchen that night, Lucifer took a moment to briefly wonder why he was creeping around his own house. He was the Avatar of Pride for pity’s sake! He could eat whatever he damn well pleased! Oh shit was someone coming- no? Okay, back to sneaking.

Lucifer crept into the kitchen, saw the eclairs, and all logic was thrown out the window. Time to eat!

“BEEL NO! NOT THE- Lucifer..?” “…” “…” “…you’re very talented, MC, do you mind making more of these?”

SOMEONE SNAP A PICTURE! THIS IS THE CLOSEST LUCIFER HAS GOTTEN TO BEGGING IN THE LAST THOUSAND YEARS!

Mammon

Ugh, stuck babysittin’ some dumb human, how lame…

As Mammon was throwing a “I’m broke and I’m stuck in a pact with a dumb human” pity party, the most heavenly smell entered his nostrils. Cooking… good cooking… was Barbatos visiting or somethin’? Nah, Lucifer woulda made a big fuss about gettin’ ready for Lord Diavolo. Huh, so what was goin’ on in the kitchen?

Huh? The human? The human can cook? Well damn, maybe this whole deal wouldn’t be so bad. Oi! MC! As payment for babysittin’ ‘em, he got to have an extra big share of- OW!

Did- did the human just hit him with a spoon?! Th-they can’t do that!

Apparently they fucking can. Mammon gets told to sit the fuck down and wait for the food like everyone else. He grumbles on the way to the dining room, but he can’t fully hide his excitement to try the food.

The food even looked pretty! How did they do that?! Magic. It had to be!

After everyone’s tastebuds were blessed with the heavenly substance that is MC’s culinary exploits, Mammon decides he needs to get on this human’s good side in order to receive more food! Maybe even find some way to make a profit or somethin’!

After weeks go by of trying to suck up to the human without looking like too much of a chump, Mammon eventually realizes… hey, this human ain’t so bad. They’re nice, they make him feel good about himself, they give him headpats… he’s really hit the jackpot here!

He’ll offer to help MC bake or cook, but beware, he will try and sample the food before it’s done. Don’t let him lick the spoon!!!

Leviathan

First thought? This human ain’t shit. Thought after seeing their food? WOAAAAAAAH! JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME-

He was unceremoniously cut off by Beel asking demanding seconds. Humph, fine, he doesn’t actually care about this dumb normie food anyway.

…well at least until Levi saw a little something something on TV that he just had to ask MC to try and make. He shyly knocked on their door and when they answered, Levi shoved the screenshot in their face and stuttered out a dinner request.

On the day MC was supposed to make dinner, Levi poked his head into the kitchen and tried to make it look like he was just standing in the same room as MC and not checking to see if they were making his dinner request.

Not that he’d blame them for not doing that… who’d wanna make some anime dinner for a yucky Otaku- OMG JAHSHSHABA THEY’RE MAKING IT! *fangirl squeals*

As Levi continues to commit the SIN of being in the kitchen at the same time as someone else, MC eventually just asks him if he’d like to help out.

“Here! Just keep turning the takoyaki.” “R-really? You trust me?” “Yes, Levi. You watched how they made it on your show, right?” “Yes! I won’t mess up! I swear on my honour as an otaku!”

All in all, it was a very cute bonding experience for the two. Now it’s a regular thing. Levi requests something for dinner or dessert, MC makes it, Levi helps out.

Satan

So, the human can cook. That’s nice. At least someone in this literally god forsaken house can.

He makes sure to thank MC every time they cook, then he makes sure to thank whatever deity is watching over him that Solomon wasn’t the human staying with them.

As the months progress, Satan realizes, he should learn how to cook better. I mean, Levi and Mammon were somehow both improving in their cooking endeavours, and if MC could teach those two, then he would be a breeze.

Satan walked into the kitchen and simply asked if MC needed any assistance with what they were doing. MC just slid him some garlic to dice and that’s how this mentor/student relationship was formed.

Satan was a star pupil, but Mammon and Levi weren’t above trying to sabotage Satan’s progress to get him to leave.

Here’s the thing, the sabotage worked, but it only worked once, and the two idiots didn’t stop to think that maybe they shouldn’t sabotage the meal they were going to have to eat later.

Well, cooking lessons continued uninterrupted after the ghost pepper incident…

Even when he’s ‘graduated’ their little cooking class, Satan’s always willing to lend a hand if needed. He also will slyly hand over some recipe books and cute baking supplies that he finds. MC should be prepared for lots of cat related things to come their way.

Asmodeus

The human can cook? Oh frabcious day! He’s saved from a life of his brother’s mediocre cooking! And the human’s so cute too! What a bonus!

Not only is the human cute, but their food is just so… aesthetic??? Pretty???? Omigosh he just has to get a picture for Devilgram!

For the first few months, MC’s relationship with Asmo consists of Asmo not at all subtly asking to take pictures of their food and post it to his Devilgram. Listen MC, his followers would just love it!

Being the saint-sheep they are, MC lets Asmo sit in whenever they’re making anything in the kitchen. And Asmo slowly realizes “hey, this cute human with the awesome food is actually pretty cool too!”

New Mission: Make the human fall madly in love with him so they’ll want to hang out more.

Whether the mission succeeds is up to MC of course. (I mean, I’m already smitten with him sooooooooo-)

MC offers Asmo a lot of the pastries they make, but the Avatar of Lust almost always declines. Listen honey, he’s on a diet- wait, don’t make that sad face! He’ll eat it! Look! It’s- it’s delicious…

Diet cheat day is now every day MC makes dessert. The feeling of bliss Asmo gets when he takes a bite out of anything MC makes is only second of the treats is second only to the joy he feels at seeing MC happy that he likes their food. It’s just so wholesome I can’t-

MC’s food Devilgram has almost surpassed Asmo in terms of followers and honestly- he isn’t even mad.

Beelzebub

Gasp! Lucifer finally got him the pet personal chef he’d always wanted! Thanks big bro! :D he’ll be sure not to eat this human!

On the first night MC was supposed to make dinner, Lucifer needed to hold Beel back from breaking into the kitchen to see what was causing that heavenly smell. It was, difficult… especially because Lucifer hadn’t slept in three days.

When they all sat down to eat, Beel practically inhaled everything and held up his half bitten plate for seconds.

We here at Stupid Headcanons incorporated recommend that MC have as many bodyguards as possible stationed around the kitchen at all times to ward off a hungry Beel. We don’t want him eating the ingredients and half-tempered chocolate.

A cinnamon roll through and through, he’ll eat everything MC gives him with a big ol’ smile on his cute little face. He’s not the best person to go to if MC wants advice or critique because the best thing Beel can usually muster is “it was really good.”

As Luke said in Lesson 5, Beel would make an awful food reporter. But we love him.

Similar to Levi, he’ll give meal requests on what to make for dinner. (At this rate, MC’s going to have to make some kind of list).

He kind of just waits by the door like a sad puppy whenever MC is making anything because he can’t get into the kitchen :(

Belphegor

The smell of freshly made chocolate chip cookies wafting through the house did reach the attic and it only fuelled his rage more. How dare the human win everyone over with cookies?!

After the attic incident, Belphie was won over with cookies.

Belphie just stands creepily in the kitchen doorway whenever MC is making anything and just makes shit really uncomfortable. Why’s he doing that, you may be wondering, well, he’s trying to calculate the energy needed to swipe the bowl of cookie dough and sprint to safety.

He never succeeds, mainly because once he gets to the bowl, MC already has the wooden spoon ready to smack him, so he just freezes mid-theft and slowly puts the bowl down.

“Oh my gosh, it says let the bread dough rest overnight? Let’s get a headstart and go to sleep now.” “Belphie what-” “I made a pillow Fort, come in. Let’s sleep.” “In the kitchen????”

How’d he make the pillow Fort without MC noticing? Years of experience. He’s trained in the art of- MC? What do you mean you can’t sleep right now and you need to get a head start on shaping fondant?

…he may have eaten the fondant while MC wasn’t looking… whoops… Beel may have rubbed off on him a little…

#Obey me! Headcanons #Obey me Headcanons #obey me #obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me mammon #Obey me Lucifer #Obey me Leviathan #Obey me Satan #Obey me Asmodeus #Obey me Beelzebub #Obey me Belphegor

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panicattheattic · 3 years ago

Text

Falling Asleep on Them Headcanons

(The "It's complicated" cast)

Diavolo

He had asked you to come over so that you could answer some questions about the human world.

Solomon was supposed to be there too, but he had a prior engagement with Asmodeus.

Unfortunately, the meeting was to take place not only after school, but also after the prince managed to finish all of his tasks for the day.

Barbatos wouldn't allow anything less.

So when you finally did go over to the castle, it was well into the night.

Diavolo was somehow as cheery as ever.

You tried your best to engage actively in the conversation.

But you were just so sleepy.

You were both sitting on a couch, side by side.

Diavolo was in the middle of asking another question when he felt you fall limp at his side.

He quickly realized you had fallen asleep.

Smiling to himself, thinking about how sweet you looked, he asked Barbatos for a blanket.

There both of you slept, cuddled up for the rest of the night.

Barbatos

You'd been having trouble sleeping recently.

So Barbatos offered to make you a special tea that could help you.

At first you politely declined.

The first time someone in the Devildom offered you tea was not exactly a happy memory.

But after another night of not sleeping you took him up on his offer.

He was very much delighted to help, and welcomed you with tea and pastries to go along with it.

His skills in the kitchen were nothing short of magical.

Before you knew it, you had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

With a serene happiness, Barbatos carried you to a guest bedroom and tucked you in.

He stayed with you throughout the night to make sure you would finally be able to rest well.

Solomon

Never again would you let Solomon practice magic on you.

Well, until the next time he came back with his sweet pleading eyes.

To say you were upset at him would be an understatement.

This wasn't the first of his magic mishaps that had affected you.

And despite knowing that mistakes happen...

Did they really have to happen at 3 in the morning?

Who in their right mind practices magic at 3am?

To be fair, who in their right mind agrees to be a magic guinea pig at 3am?

So this is how you got here.

Quite literally stuck to the only other human in the Devildom.

He kept apologizing and saying he'd figure out a way to reverse the spell as soon as possible.

But you did not want to hear it.

You told him in no uncertain terms that he'd best get ready to be a pillow for the rest of the night, because until you got your much needed sleep, he would not be subjecting you to more magical experimentation.

You then promptly went to sleep.

It was rare to see Solomon flustered, so he was lucky you weren't looking at him.

Not that he was unhappy with this arrangement.

And not that he planned it all along.

Simeon

Acting is fun.

You love acting.

You love school projects that involve acting.

You love Simeon.

You love writer Simeon.

You do not love director Simeon.

You know he's a good director, and his methods assure success but...

Come on!

This is insane.

So you kept messing up your monologue.

Big woop.

Who's fault is it that the writer included a word you can't pronounce?

Like, "Floccinaucinihilipilification", really, Simeon?

But, maybe you shouldn't have complained to him about it.

The "smile" he gives whenever he's unhappy with something as a director...

Yeah, that'll be haunting your nightmares.

If you even got the CHANCE to have nightmares.

He wouldn't let you stop rehearsing until you got it right.

But you wanted to sleep!!

Still, maybe you shouldn't have rolled your eyes at him.

His scary smile was back with even more fury than before.

You needed to remedy this!

But all your sleepy mind could come up with was throwing your arms around Simeon in an impromptu hug.

At least it caught him off guard enough that he seemingly forgot he was about to lecture you.

The hug was only meant as a short distraction.

But he was so warm...

And you were so sleepy...

When Simeon noticed you had fallen asleep he sighed.

But he also smiled (an actual smile) warmly, a decided to let you rest.

You'd keep rehearsing once you woke up.

There was no way around it. =)

Luke

Babysitting Luke was usually fun.

(Do not say the word "babysitting" around him and you'll be fine.)

But the truth was that Simeon had asked you to keep an eye on him.

You didn't mind one bit.

Hanging out with Luke meant that you got to eat anything he baked.

And he baked a lot when you were around.

He was so cute, you wanted to pinch his cheeks sometimes.

Though you never did; that would have been a terrible idea.

But you couldn't help resting your head on his when you had both sat down to eat slices of butterscotch and cinnamon pie.

He was just so fluffy!

Like a puppy.

He wanted to complain but he bit his tongue.

Fine...

He'll admit it.

He doesn't hate the older sibling affection he gets from you.

You both fell asleep at around the same time, your head on his and his on your shoulder.

Unfortunately for Luke, there would be photographic evidence of this moment.

You thought it was adorable, but he didn't share the sentiment.

Simeon had shown up late at night, with Mammon in tow.

Simeon took the opportunity to take pictures.

And thankfully this was only Luke or else Mammon might have flown off the handle.

~Aqua

#obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me headcanons #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me fluff #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me mammon #simeon x reader #solomon x reader #barbatos x reader #diavolo x reader #obey me #obey me anime #obey me fanfic

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lubdubsworld · 3 years ago

Text

The Devil’s own.

Jungkook x OC

Mafia Au!

Warnings : Non-Con ! Manipulation, Degradation, Shitty hero with no redeeming Qualities you have been warned. ( i mean he does get better but not much.)

Summary : Just Mob Boss Jungkook doing mob boss things.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

I wasn’t sure how long I stayed there , staring at the ceiling and trying to come to terms with what had just happened. It was revolting. It was nauseating. It made me want to claw my own skin off. I stared at the intricate designs , carved into the ceiling, the panels that reflected life and made the room seem bigger than it was. The scent of jasmine and rosemary clung to the sheets and the drapes in the room, cloyingly sweet and meant to arouse the occupants.

I wondered how I’d got here.

I had memories of satin silk sheets and bright lights. My father had always spoiled me, the best of the best only for his only daughter and I’d indulged in luxury to my heart’s content. More shoes than I could possibly wear in a life time. Every season’s collection, straight into my wardrobe whether I asked for it or not. Diamonds and rubies and emeralds set in platinum and gold , jewelry to match my clothes and even my car if I felt like it.

I shut my eyes in despair. I didn’t miss the luxury as much as I missed the solitude. The option to just not do anything. My father hadn’t cared enough to see what I was upto and everyone knew that I was betrothed to Jungkook.

And that meant no dates or party invites because after the third guy got his arm in a sling after accidentally brushing past me , word kind of spread. Stay away from Elena Gong or the Jeon kid will break your bones.

I shuddered. It had been an obsession, I thought vacantly.

Jungkook had been obsessed, even back then. I just hadn’t paid much heed to him. Because Jungkook back then had been terrifying but also ridiculously endearing in some way. He had seemed for lack of a better word…..insignificant. I was beautiful and rich, never lacked for attention and he was just one among the dozens. Even if I was betrothed to him, I hadn’t given much thought to him.

And Jungkook had taken my indifference in stride. He’d laughed and played around and I hated to admit it, treated me like a queen. Flowers, chocolates and gifts every other day . He would follow me around like a puppy , and I wondered if perhaps my dismissive attitude towards him back then had been a mistake. Did it push him over the edge?

My heart ached fiercely and when I finally willed myself to move, my body protested.

Every inch of me was sore and aching. My head because of how hard he’d gripped my hair. I sat up on shaky legs, fingers trembling as I pulled my shit up to stare at my body. Bite marks littered my skin, marring the smooth surface and I felt bile in my throat at the memory of his teeth on me. Finger shaped bruises were beginning to bloom around my thighs and I couldn’t breathe over the agony ripping up my insides.

I glanced down between my thighs, at the sticky mess of his release dripping down into the sheets, staining the sheets a murky pink. I shuddered, disgusted. God, I hated him. Where was my phone? My clothes were still there at the foot of the bed and I noticed the small door on the right wall. Crawling off the bed on shaky legs , I limped carefully to the bathroom.

I took Hoseok’s shirt off dropping it in the corner before turning the showers on.

The water felt like a whip on my skin as I sat on the tiled bathroom floor , a small washcloth gripped tight in my hand as I carefully cleaned myself up. I had no idea what the time was… It must be very early or very late. No matter. I had to get out of here and get to Jisoo. I swallowed, imagining her alone all this time. The doctors had said she would be up in Guilt churned as I quickly grabbed a towel from the closet and wiped myself down.

It took me another ten minutes to finish dressing up and just as I finished slipping into my shoes, the door opened. I glanced up, catching sight of Hoseok as he leaned against the door. He looked a little haggard, a black silk shirt unbuttoned to his chest and tucked into fitted jeans. I stared at him, watching the way his gaze roved over every inch of exposed skin, looking just a tad bit worried.

“The Hospital called. “ He said gently, “ They’re ready to release you sister. They want to know if you can come pick her up. The baby’s going to have to stay in the NICU for a couple of weeks.”

I groaned. Great. More bills.

“I need a job. “ I said miserably. “ Help me out.” I stared at him beseechingly and Hoseok gave me a look.

“you know the kind of jobs I provide. You’re not built for it. “ He said shortly and I shook my head, impatient.

“that’s not what I meant and you know it. You and your friends pretty much own every club in the city. Get me a job ….” I whispered, moving to stand in front of him and he recoiled.

Just as always, I thought bitterly. Coward.

As much as a coward now as he’d been ten years ago, when he’d pretended that he didn’t have any feelings for me. Pretended that he didn’t give a damn about me.

The throb in my skull grew in intensity.

My throat was dry and I felt my vision swim a bit. I was tired. Exhausted . I hadn’t slept in….how long really? I hadn’t eaten in a day…for sure… And I likely wasn’t going to be eating for a long while, let alone feeding Jisoo if I didn’t get a job right away. I had twelve thousand won to my name and that was it.

“Jungkook-“ He began but I was sick of his name so I growled.

“Fuck, do you want me to beg Hoseok? I will… I can’t … I need a job… Please.” I said desperately, staring at him and his gaze softened.

“Elena, stop looking at me like that, fuck.” He swore, turning and punching the wall hard. “ fuck.”

“Just help me get a job. I’m not asking you to give me money or something. You don’t even have to get it for me… Just tell me who’s hiring ? Somewhere away from Jungkook and his men.” I whispered , and the sheer irony of it didn’t escape me. Jung Hoseok was possibly one of Jungkook’s main men.

He ran his hand over his forehead, shaking his head.

“You’re going to get me killed someday.” He muttered, “ Fine. There’s a club down in Itaewon. It caters to cops and lawyers exclusively so Jungkook and his men usually keep out of it. My friend owns the place. His name is Im Jaebum. I’ll get you a job there , waitressing. Is that alright?” He said softly and I wanted to sob in relief as I nodded. Itaewon meant pretty close to where the bakery was. I could take the bus.

“Fine. I’ll talk to him and call you. Here…” He held out a wad of cash and I took it greedily, eyes widening at the 100,000 written on the margin of each note. This was a lot of money.

“Hoseok…”I said stunned and he shrugged. “ Get food and baby stuff for Jisoo. If she’s going to feed the baby she needs to eat well. Fruits and veggies and lot of protein. If you run out, tell Jaebum you need some advance. He’ll pay you well.”

I nodded, stuffing the money into my pockets quickly . I swallowed when my insides throbbed, aching something fierce.

“Thank you.” I said softly, staring up at him and he hesitated, before reaching out and gently cupping my face in his palm. I flinched at his touch and he recoiled.

“Was he… Did he hurt you?” He whispered quietly and I smiled bitterly.

“Wasn’t that the whole point?” I sighed, shaking my head . I hesitated . I wasn’t sure if Hoseok would listen to me but I had to try at least.

“ Can you not tell him? That… That I was a virgin?” I asked quietly and he nodded.

“Wasn’t planning to.” He said casually.

I stared at him. I’d always found him handsome. Beautiful. Perfect . And I wondered where we had gone so wrong.

“Do you regret it.” I whispered. “ All those choices you made.”

“Which ones? …” he asked bitterly.

“you know… “ I snapped. “ the ones that lead us here. You and me…. Standing here like strangers. “

“I wouldn’t risk my life for a stranger. Which is what I’m doing every time I help you .” He said quietly.

“So what are we then?” I demanded.

“Old friends” He said casually.

I snorted.

“Fucking coward.” I whispered , loud enough for him to hear as I brushed past him and walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I trudged all the way to the VIP room in the hospital flinching because that was probably a lot of money to be repaid , now owed directly to the devil spawn that was Jeon. I had grabbed a small meal on the way before quickly getting the bus to the Hospital. It was little past eleven in the morning and the hallways were packed with people. Sighing, I moved to the room where Jisoo was, slowly opening the door.

Min Yoongi sat on the chair next to the bed, gazing idly at my sister in law.

To say that I was shocked would be the biggest understatement of the century. My lips parted in shock, panic bubbling up inside me as I exhaled sharply.

“What-“ I swallowed gazing between him and my Jisoo, who was sitting up against the backrest on the bed, a tray of food on her lap and a small smile on her face.

“Lena!! You’re here!” She cried out softly, tears filling her eyes at once as she held both her hands up. I moved to hug her but my mind stayed on the man near the bed, his sultry feline eyes trained unblinkingly on her. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to get my breathing to regulate but it was impossible.

What on earth was Yoongi doing here?

“Mr. Min came to see me. He told me he knew Daehwan.” Jisoo said softly, looking sad but hopeful and I felt my heart turn over as I turned to stare at him.

Min Yoongi knew Daehwan as a target . A hit he had carried out himself.

But I couldn’t say a thing. Not in front of Jisoo.

“I’m only here to offer my help. It pains me to see you suffering, Jisoo. I know your husband would want you to be taken care of.” He said softly, his gaze still fixed on her and I didn’t like it. At all.

Bile rising, I gave him a glare.

“I’ll take care of her. Please don’t trouble yourself.” I said shakily and he glanced at me, lips parting a bit, turning into a smirk.

“You look… well rested.” He smirked and I flushed.

“Lena, come on… I know all this…this must be expensive. We can use all the help we can get and Mr. Min-“

“Please call me Yoongi, sweetheart.” Yoongi said charmingly and my sister in law blushed. I felt my skin crawl.

“Y-Yoongi said he has a spare room. I can’t stay in the bakery. And it’s not like he’s a murderer or anything. He showed me his card. He’s a lawyer.” She said softly and I sighed in despair. Jisoo was naïve bordering on stupid and I wasn’t equipped to deal with this.

As I watched she went back to the food, eating ravenously and I felt my heart clench. I could see the twin damp spots at her chest and I noticed the breast pump on the table. It looked brand new. I hadn’t even thought about things she may need after the baby, too preoccupied with all the hospital bills and medicines I would have to pay for.

Diapers. Baby wipes. Those little flannel pieces mothers used to wipe down the baby. I felt my head spin, turning to Yoongi who was staring at me casually.

“Can we talk?” I said quietly and he straightened.

“Jisoo ssi… Please enjoy your meal. And here…” He gave her his phone. “ If you’re done, just give me a buzz on this.” He showed her something on the phone .” Go on try it.”

Jisoo pressed down on the screen curiously and Yoongi’s watch rang .

He grinned as she smiled.

“See? One touch and I’ll be here yeah?” He said softly, and I felt like I was stuck in some kind of drama, glancing between the pair of them.

“Are you leaving?” She asked curiously and he shook his head.

“I’ll be right here, outside. Having a word with Elena. You can finish your food and I’m guessing it’s time for you to pump again? The pediatrician said you’d have to pump every two hours with the milk so… if you get it ready, I’ll drop it off at the NICU.” He said calmly.

Jisoo nodded, staring at him with wide eyed gratefulness and I sighed in despair.

Yoongi moved to the door and I gave her a small smile before following him.

I waited till the door had closed behind me before turning to him, furious.

“What do you think you’re-“

“I want her.” He said shortly.

I felt my jaw come unhinged.

“No.” I hissed, furious and helpless with rage. “ Yoongi-“

“Don’t make me put a bullet in your head for this, Elena.” He said calmly and I exhaled shakily.

“She’s… You know she’s not like us. She doesn’t know anything about this life. As far as she knows my brother was a surgeon who got killed in a hit and run. You want to …. What do you really want? Did Jungkook put you upto this?”

“If Jungkook would have his way, your sister in law and your new nephew would both be dead. You know this.” Yoongi said casually. God, could I ever have a conversation with anyone without Jungkook being dragged into it? When did my life get twined so intimately with him?

“Where is he?” I asked quickly and Yoongi shrugged.

“He’s out of the country. He left an hour ago.”

“Switzerland….” I said before thinking and Yoongi stiffened.

“How did you know?” He demanded and I froze.

“I… I overheard …..someone.” I muttered and Yoongi moved so fast I barely caught it. The next second I was pressed up against the wall, his forearm pressing into my throat and holding me down while he held a knife right against my jugular.

“Nice try. Now the truth.” He hissed.

“Ouch..” I choked out , coughing a bit. “ Fine.. Hoseok.. Hoseok told me.”

Yoongi pulled back.

“You fukcing him?” He asked casually and I glared at him.

“none of your business.” I snapped.

He laughed at that.

“I know you aren’t. Hoseok loves his dick too much to risk having it castrated.”

I sighed, shaking my head. I wasn’t here to talk about these bastards.

“Just leave Jisoo alone.” I said quietly and Yoongi sighed.

“What are you going to do with her, Elena. You can barely afford to feed yourself. You should be thankful I’m taking her off your hands.”

I ignored his nonsense and moved till I was pressed up against him, fingers curling into his chest. Yoongi looked surprised, lips twisting in displeasure when I blinked up at him.

“please.. Yoongi…” I begged, “ Don’t do this to me.” I said quietly. “ I … she’s all I have… She… My brother had nothing to do with any of this. You know that….He left this life decades ago. I don’t… I don’t know why Jungkook wanted him dead in the first place. I loved my brother and my brother loved his wife. I owe it to him … Please…just…Please leave her alone.” I whispered softly, letting my fingers drop to grip his arm.

He tugged his arm away at once.

“ She needs more than empty platitudes and good intentions. She needs food and a place to stay with her baby. I’m giving her that.”

“And what do you get in return?” I demanded angrily. “ She just gave birth, fuck you. You can’t touch her , not unless you’ve lost the last shreds of humanity in that conscience of yours.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I’m not doing this for sex, Elena. If I wanted easy pussy, I would have come to you…” He smirked. “ Don’t forget that Jungkook and I share our toys, yeah?”

I opened my mouth to retort before remembering that I was trying to get him to listen to him.

“Then why? What do you want…tell me?”

“I told you. I want her. As she is.” Yoongi shrugged.

“You killed her husband.” I said , voice shaking as I remembered what Jungkook had said. About my brother begging for his life because Jisoo was pregnant. And how Yoongi hadn’t given a shit and shot him anyway.

“A minor inconvenience. Trust me if I’d seen her before I killed him…” He sighed, shaking his head in regret and I frowned.

“You would have spared him? “ I asked bitterly and Yoongi laughed.

“No.. I would have killed him sooner.” He smirked. “ Is there a point to this whole conversation… I’m getting bored and Jisoo’s waiting inside.”

“We’re supposed to get her out of the hospital today and-“

“I’m taking her home.” He said briskly. “ I’ve already spoken to her. And She’s agreed that a ramshackle , dilapidated bakery isn’t the right place for a new mother and a tiny baby.”

And the worst part was that I couldn’t even disagree.

And I couldn’t help but feel angry, betrayed. Jisoo was…. How could she? She hadn’t even bothered to talk to me about it… Just agreeing to move in with Yoongi. She was older than me. Supposed to be the smart one. My body ached. If that was the bed she was going to make , she could lie on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Going somewhere?” Jungkook’s voice made me freeze.

I swallowed, straightening and stepping back almost instinctively. He stood in the doorway, a cigarette held between his teeth as he stared at me . He looked like he’d showered as well, hair still damp and the smells of citrus and mint permeating the air around him.

It was exactly ten days since I’d last seen him and I’d settled into a routine of sorts. Im Jaebum’s bar, Venom was an exclusive club in Itaewon and I could easily disappear into the shadows, staying low and using the beret ( a part of the uniform ) to keep my face hidden as I served the patrons. Like Hoseok had said, the place was filled with cops and lawyers. Yoongi was a frequent fixture here , stopping for just a drink on most days before heading home to my sister in law.

It made me sick but there was nothing I could do about it. Jisoo and little baby Yunsu were both home and needed a l,ot of care. And Yoongi apparently had a cook, a housekeeper and a nanny who helped her out. Jisoo was wary, her senses finally returning but she was also clearly glad to be out of the streets.

“I’m going home after I finish my shift. “ I said softly, trying not to stare as he stepped into the room. I turned away from him moving to the shelves and pushing the small canister in place.

“Where’s home?” He asked casually. I flinched when he stepped right behind me, fingers reaching out to curl on my shoulder, pulling me back till I was flush against his chest. The heat of his body seeped in through the thin fabric of my blouse and I felt my body heat up.

“You got what you wanted.” I said shakily. “ Let me go.” I whispered, dropping the cleaning cloth in the tray on the lower shelves, before moving to grab the mop. I just had to finish mopping the floor . And then I could leave.

But his grip on me stayed firm. I couldn’t move. Foreboding rose inside me.

Jungkook hummed at that, stepping closer, till I felt his chin brush the top of my head as he bent over me, arms coming around me and fingers lightly unbuttoning the first two buttons of my shirt. I stared at the dark ink on his forearm. , swallowing as he kept coming closer.

“What I wanted? That pathetic little display ten days ago?” He whispered softly “ Just think about this Elena …… I’ve been chasing you for years, I got rid of your entire family and yet I let you live. Why do you think that was, huh? “ He shook his head, “ For two minutes of you lying underneath me like a frigid bitch? You think that’s what I want Elena? Think I’ll be satisfied with that? ” He laughed.

I stared at the wall in front of me and I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t play this sick game with him. Not when he kept changing the rules . Not when there was nothing left for me to gamble or lose.

“Jisoo. I have to go see her. Just… Just let me go see her. I need to see if she’s alright and then we can talk. ” I whispered. Jungkook smiled, tilting my head to the side with his fingers. I felt the damp press of his lips against my jaw and my skin crawled.

“Don’t worry, Yoongi’s taking care of her.” He whispered softly and I felt my heart turn over in my chest at the reminder. I’d been forced to relent because Yoongi had taken her home to a fully finished and decorated nursery , a closet full of baby clothes for her son and nursing clothes for her. She had been bowled over and when I’d told her to think about the why of it…she’d given me a helpless sort of smile. . As far as she was concerned , Yoongi had been nothing but generous and kind… And she wasn’t going to say no to him because she couldn’t afford to..

“I… he promised me he’d let me see her. And the baby…every day. That was the deal.”

Jungkook laughed.

“I thought I made this clear . You don’t get to make deals with anyone because you belong to me. I get to decide what happens to you. Anytime. Anywhere. Do you need another demonstration , Elena?” His hand moved to my breast, groping the flesh, fingers rough and hard and I whimpered in pain.

“No..” I choked out , eyes widening in terror and he made quick work of the rest of the buttons on my blouse. Junkook hummed, kissing the back of my neck and slowly turning me around in his arms.

“Relax. You don’t have a job. How are you going to feed her and the kid? Yoongi isn’t like me. He doesn’t hold a lot of grudges. And for some reason he seems to have a hard on for your sister in law. He wants to marry her. ” He chuckled and I felt nausea bloom.

“No.. Don’t… Don’t do that to her. She’s not like us. She doesn’t know… She doesn’t have anything to do with this life.” I begged, heart racing at the thought of Jisoo, helpless and scared and alone with a baby , trapped with a fucking assassin. Yoongi killed for a living . That was his job. Jisoo was delicate and sensitive.

“She still needs to eat and live right? With what? He’s feeling particularly generous so he’s taken her home . You don’t have to worry about them anymore… Isn’t that nice?” he smirked and I felt my throat go dry.

I clenched my fists, feeling my breath catch.

“The only person you need to worry about yourself is yourself. Isn’t that how you prefer it anyway? Beautiful selfish Elena who never gave a fuck about anyone but herself. Isn’t that who you truly are, angel?” He smiled.

“Not anyone…. Just you… I don’t give a fuck about you.” I said defiantly, staring right up at him.

Jungkook stared at me and stepped closer, reaching out and running his fingers up and down my cheek. I flinched because he still held the lit cigarette.

“None at all?” He asked curiously, lightly tapping on the end of the cigarette, and I flinched when the hot ash spilled onto my shoulder.

“Did that hurt, baby?” He whispered, leaning in and pressing the cigarette to my lips.” I’m sorry. Breathe in for me.” He stuck the cigarette into my mouth and I pulled away , coughing and disgusted.

I closed my eyes as his free hand went to my wrist, tugging me closer. I stiffened as he wrapped his arms around me, drawing me in till my face pressed against his chest, his body flush against mine, one hand moving back to stroke my back.

“I missed you. You’re terrible at pleasing me but I think…with a little bit of training, you can make me cum… ” He smirked. “ Let’s start with a blowjob, yeah?”

I stiffened.

“No.” I said softly and he smirked, pulling back.

“No?” He asked softly. . I felt my throat go dry in fear as I noticed the way his gaze shifted. I bit my lips to stifle the pain as He carefully pressed the lit end of the cigarette right against the curve of my breast , pressing in for a couple of seconds and pulling away just before the skin began to singe. He glanced up at me, and I blinked through the tears, pain spreading all over my chest at the burn. That would leave a scar, I thought miserably.

“Wrong answer. Try again.” He whispered.

“Go to Hell.” I choked out.

I flinched when his fingers slipped up into my hair, gripping hard. My scalp burned, sharp and insistent and instinct made me grip his wrist, trying to get him off but it was impossible.

“Let me go..” I snapped, glaring at him. God, How I hated him.

“Was I your first??” He whispered, dragging me close enough that his lips brushed my ear. “ Never had a cock before? Was that why you were so fucking tight?”

I bit my lips, glaring at him, defiant and furious. Did Hoseok actually tell him? That two faced snake…. God , why did these fuckers never leave me alone?

“Seokjin hyung told me…Told me he was looking forward to breaking a virgin and that made me think….God, I was the first cock she ever had….” He hummed, looking infinitely pleased.

“Yes. And I got to say… I don’t know what the fuss is about. You couldn’t even make me cum.” I snapped and Jungkook grinned, grip tightening and the other hand moving to curl around my waist, squeezing hard.

“Did I make you bleed from between your legs Elena? Tell me I did….Cause that’s fucking hot. ” He whispered, voice low and gruff.

Jungkook, I thought vacantly, was a psychopath.

“Go to Lisa. Go fuck her and make her bleed if that’s what gets you off…. and leave me alone.” I whispered and he smiled, bending down pressing a kiss right where he’d burned my skin.

“I don’t need you to tell me that. She’s my fiancé. The woman I’m going to marry. And you know what that means? I actually give a shit whether she cums or not. And trust me she does. Multiple times. Sometimes so hard she passes out.”

“Or maybe she fakes it. Maybe she passes out because she can’t stand your touch either.” I shrugged. “ Because we all know that’s what she’s good at Jungkook. She faked her friendship with me , she’ll fake her loyalty to you.”

“Always got something smart to say, huh Elena? Let’s see how mouthy you get when I’m shoving my cock down your throat.”

I flinched when he pushed me, hard enough to send me sprawling on the floor. I caught myself with difficulty , throwing my hands out to keep my head from hitting the floor. I flinched at the pain that shot up my body, every inch throbbing because of how rough this fucker had been with me.

Ten days and the aftermath of that night still lingered on me.

And it was three in the morning and I’d spent eight hours on my feet bussing tables , I was exhausted.

I closed my eyes, before pressing my palm against the floor, trying to pull myself up when I felt the press of his shoe at the base of my spine, pushing me down.

I whimpered in shock, my hands giving out and shoulder crashing down into the floor.

“Stay down for a second, baby.” He whispered and I exhaled.

I pressed my palm against the floor, head dropping on to the carpeted floor . I whimpered when I felt him crouch down, foot digging in harder into my back and I curled my fingers into the carpet to swallow the pained sound that bubbled up in my throat.

“I’m going to fuck you again. And this time I want you to do all the work.” Jungkook’s voice came from over me and I flinched. I considered the odds of me putting up a fight and actually winning. It was laughable. I wasn’t going to fight a force of nature. And that was what Jeon Jungkook was.

“ You can’t make me do anything Jungkook.” I whispered finally. “ You can hit me and rape me and kill me but you can’t make me do anything to you. You just have to live with that.”

His foot lifted off my spine and I felt hands on my arms, pulling me up till I was kneeling. I watched as he moved around to stand in front of me.

“Look at me.” He said carefully.” From now you only speak when I tell you to.”

“ Whatever. Let’s get this over with so I can go see my sister and my nephew.“ I said shakily.

He sighed deeply at that, shaking his head.

“See, if it was upto me, I’d just put a bullet in both their heads. Cos at this point they’re just proving to be a nuisance.”

My blood turned to ice in my veins.

“ But, Yoongi’s just getting to know your pretty little Jisoo…And he’s my favorite hyung. So I’m going to let her live. But, let’s not invade their privacy for a while.” He began unbuckling his belt and I felt nausea rise inside me.

“Jungkook?” The voice came from the door and I stiffened. Jungkook groaned.

“Baby, what the fuck are you doing here?” He said gruffly, standing up and using his knee to push me out of the way roughly. I swore, gripping the edge of the table near me to steady myself before turning around to stare at the woman at the door. I stumbled to my feet, still feeling a little out of it. I needed food. Before I collapsed in a heap on the floor.

“You were supposed to come see me tonight. I went looking for you everywhere and I find you here about to get with some common whore?” she shouted and I stiffened, glaring at her.

She stood framed in the doorway, staring at me for a second before letting her gaze wander all over the room. She stared at me, eyes taking in the unbuttoned blouse and I quickly moved to put the buttons back on.

“Did you fuck her?” She demanded angrily and Jungkook hummed.

“Since when did I owe you answers, angel?” He asked casually and I watched the woman’s eyes widen, before her brows furrowed in a frown.

“ So what, I can’t ask you who you’re with ?” She asked angrily and Jungkook groaned , kicking out at the nearest stand with enough force to send it toppling over the side, crashing to floor and breaking on impact. I stumbled, back, wrapping my arms around myself as he fairly growled.

“What the fuck is up with all you cunts today?” He demanded, glancing at me in distaste. “ I come back after busting my ass at work for ten entire days . I just needed to get my dick sucked and you two.” He shook his head, hand reaching into his jacket and I felt my eyes widen when he pulled his glock out, releasing the safety and loading the gun before pressing the muzzle right against her skull.

The woman whimpered, hands held up as he tapped the firearm against her.

“You. You don’t come anywhere near me unless I send for you. Is that clear?” He asked sharply and she nodded frantically, abject terror written all over her face.

He turned to me.

“And you. You’re coming with me.” He said quietly and I felt my eyes widen. I opened my mouth to protest but the girl at the door beat me to it.

“I think not…. You’re not taking her anywhere, Jungkook, I’ll-“ She began, reaching forward to grab him and Jungkook moved so quickly, I could barely blink.

The shot rang out , making me jump and I watched as she crumbled to the floor, crying out in pain. I stared in horror, watching the hole in her arm, spilling blood all over the floor and the hallway and my throat went completely dry, staring at the girl on the floor and the blank, absolutely merciless look on his face.

“Just because I let you sit on my cock once in a while, doesn’t mean you get a say in how I live my life.” He said quietly, using his foot to prod her hip. He glanced at me and I felt my throat go dry as he pulled the glock back to reload it.

He aimed the gun right at me, eyes dark and heavy.

“Are you going to be good for me, baby? Or do you need a physical demonstration as well?” He tilted his head to where the girl was on the floor, pressing her palm against her arm.

“She’s bleeding out.. “ I choked out. “ you need to get her help, Jungk-“

Another shot rang out and I jumped, heart in my throat as I tried to understand what had happened. It took me a second to realize that he hadn’t shot me. That he had fired at the ceiling.

“Answer the bloody question Elena.” He growled and I flinched, nodding.

“I… I’ll listen… Just…” I glanced back at the poor girl on the floor.” Get her some help.”

Jungkook smiled a little. He turned to the girl on the floor and shook his head.

“Get up baby. Go find Hoseok and get that patched up, yeah? And don’t provoke me the next time, yeah? ” He said casually and she stumbled to her feet, looking disoriented and scared as she moved out of the door.

“ And you. “ He glared at me. “Finish dressing up and follow me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where are we going?” I asked nervously, fighting the instinct to just take off at a sprint, as we walked down the road to where his Mercedes was parked.

“My home. Where else?” He said casually and I stiffened.

“Jungkook-“

“Didn’t I tell you not to speak unless I ask you to, Elena? I’m jet lagged and angry. Trust me , you don’t want to piss me off now.” He said casually and I swallowed.

He opened the door for me, the polite gesture so at odds with what he was doing that my head began to throb.

But I climbed in nonetheless. I stayed quiet for the short ride to his apartment , eyes fixed straight ahead and Jungkook was quiet too. I was too exhausted to be scared, I thought despondently, my eyes drooping because of how long I’d been up. Glancing out the window, I watched the cars whizz by, people living their lives, completely unaware that almost all of them were merely tiny little gears in a machine run exclusively by men like Jungkook. That all their lives, spent working and earning and dying…it was all meaningless. They had no say in anything. People like Jungkook were the ones who got to shape the world to their liking. The ones who got to play God.

And Jungkook was definitely the closest to an omnipotent human I’d ever come across.

Powerful, untouchable and terrifying.

So perhaps, it was a little flattering, that I was the one thing he couldn’t get out of his head.

I glanced at him discreetly.

He was beautiful, I thought with a pang. One of the most beautiful men on this planet. Despite the years, his boyish charm was still right there on his face and he could slip on a plaid shirt , a white t shirt and stone wash jeans and pass off as an innocent college student. I stared at the taut jaw, the long column of his neck and the broad back. His biceps bulged when he gripped the steering when and my eyes lingered on the long fingers curled around the wheel.

I jumped when his hand moved to grip the stick shift , curling on the knob and yanking it back with force. I swallowed, thighs pressing together as my mind shifted to that night in Hoseok’s club. I hated myself for how often I relived it. And not always with disgust.

My fingers fell on the ring on his finger. His engagement ring, I thought with a pang. Lisa. Beautiful, wonderful Lisa who had been a dear friend . Once. For all her shortcomings I knew she loved the man who sat next to me. Cared deeply for him, even. Why else would she do this to me? She must have strong feelings for him , if it had prompted her to throw away our friendship of over a decade.

“You’re cheating on her then.” I said quietly. His reminder to not talk to him rang in my head but I couldn’t stop myself. He wasn’t a stranger. And that ring…the ring that promised to bind two people forever….. I’d worn it too. For him.

Jungkook didn’t reply, merely glancing at me in passing.

I sighed, looking at my knees, feeling my shoulders tremble a bit.

“Is she going to be there?” I asked quietly.

He exhaled sharply. I noticed the way his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“No.” He said shortly.

“She lives with you right? You said we’re going home ….then where is she-“

“What is this, twenty fucking questions?” He snapped and I swallowed. “ I’m not taking you home to my fiancée Elena, do I look like a fucking idiot? “ He shook his head.

Before I could demand more answers, he was pulling over into a side alley. I watched as he carefully parked the car before stepping out. Second later, he was coming around and opening the door.

I stared at him, gripping the hem of my blouse, tight. My stomach twisted into knots.

“Can’t you just let me go?” I whispered softly, pride forgotten in the wake of my tiredness. Jungkook stared at me, face eerily blank.

“Get out of the car.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Like it?” He asked softly and I stood on the threshold, taking in the lavishly decorated apartment on the top floor of the building. I noticed the portrait right up front, a large full sized photo of me and Jungkook from nearly a decade ago, wrapped around each other in a hug , showing off our engagement bands.

“What is this?”

“It was supposed to be your wedding gift. From me. I bought it for you. Nine years ago. Thought you should see it.” He said quietly.

I stayed perfectly still , as he wrapped his hands around me in a hug.

“Why did you leave me, Elena?” He asked quietly and I felt my throat go dry.

“Why do you still have this place? Get rid of it.” I snapped. He laughed at that , pulling away and turning me around till I stared at him.

“ Will you stay here, with me?” He asked softly and I froze.

“You’re out of your mind.” I said shortly.

He hummed.

“Possibly. But then, the problem is this. If I tell you , you can’t leave this place ever again….There’s not much you can do about it, right?” He said thoughtfully and I felt a sob building in my chest.

“I… Don’t.” I said shakily.

“You should see the bedroom. Come.”

His fingers wrapped around my wrist dragging me past the lavish couch and sofa, past a well kept bar onto a wide hallway dimly lit. He stopped at the second door on the right, reaching out to open the lock. The room was plunged in darkness and I hesitated.

“Go on… After you, Mrs. Jeon.” He said softly . I could feel distaste creeping up my spine at the name, shivering a bit as I stepped into the darkness.

“Can you imagine, if we’d gotten married. This is what our first night together would be like…” He pressed against my back, arms coming around me , so gentle that I shivered.

“Jungkook…what are you doing?” I asked shakily.

“Shush…. “ He whispered, moving to unbutton my blouse again. I grabbed his wrists quickly.

“We aren’t married. I’m not your wife.” I said sharply and I felt him go still behind me.

“Shut your mouth and play along like a good girl.” He said quietly. He shook my hands off, moving to undo the buttons again.

Not sure what he expected, I stayed perfectly still as he hummed, pressing soft feather light kisses down my jaw and past my shoulders. His hands stroked up and down my arm as he laughed .

“Did you miss me Elena…..all these years…” He said quietly. “ Because I missed you. So much.”

He hugged me close, tight and hard.

“Are you scared?” He whispered, “ honey?”

“Oh, God…” I choked out, nausea rising up in my throat at the endearment.

“My wife…” He whispered, pressing a few more kisses against my skin before pushing me a bit towards the bed. “ Should I turn on the lights? I wanna see you.”

He nudged me towards the bed and my legs gave out when I hit the edge of it, legs turning to jelly as I sat on it, shaky and creeped out and terrified. Jungkook moved to turn on the lamp on the bedside table, a soft golden glow lighting up the bed .

“Look at you… so beautiful.” He whispered and I watched as he tugged off his shirt, before moving to his belt. He was watching me like I was something precious. Like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“What are you doing?” I asked quietly and he smiled, running his fingers over the tattoos decorating his chest. He stopped at a large ornate tiger lily, inscribed right over his heart.

“Do you like it?” he said softly. “ I got this for you. My Elena…. As delicate as a lily and as brave as a tiger.”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“Either fuck me or let me go, I’m not here to talk about-“

He slapped me, so hard that my head whipped to the side, my face feeling like it had caught fire. I gasped, the pain spreading all over my jaw and I couldn’t quite grasp what had just happened. I pressed shaky fingers to the throbbing skin near my mouth, eyes watering at the sting.

“Didn’t I tell you to play along, angel?” He whispered sharply and I closed my eyes , shuddering.

Play along. Do it if you want to get out of here alive. ‘

Fucking psychopath.

“ It’s beautiful, Jungkook.” I whispered softly, glancing at him with teary eyes. He nodded.

“We’ll get one for you too. A wolf. With the initials JK on it…. Right here…” He lightly traced a path over my collarbone and I hoped to God, this was some sick fantasy. That he wasn’t seriously considering tattooing his initials on me.

“Strip for me baby… All of it. I want to see you.” He whispered and I hesitated just long enough to take a deep breath. I reached back, quickly undoing my bra clasp and pulling the fabric off. I hooked my thumbs into my skirt and my panties, tugging both of them off me, swiftly. I dropped all of it on the floor next to the bed, before moving to kneel in the middle of the bed, staring at him with a smile that felt physically painful.

“I’m going to make you feel good, baby.” He whispered quietly, crawling over on top of me.

“Lay down for me.” He said, and I felt repulsed, as he kissed my lips, soft and gentle, pressing in till I was flat on my back, legs parted so he could lie in between.

It was so different from last time and somehow ten times worse.

Jungkook pressed kisses all over my face, whispering gentle words against my skin that felt like acid.

“So beautiful…. Mine. You were always mine Elena. Mine to touch and mine to break . Mine to love and mine to fuck.”

I stared as he loomed over, his face inches from mine, his gaze deceptively affectionate, his eyes warm and almost soft. I watched as he came closer, his lips closing over mine. Instinctively I kept my lips together but his fingers curled around my thigh, squeezing hard enough to make me whimper, lips parting . He pressed his tongue in then , licking into my mouth and I brought my hands up, instinctively wrapping around the bare skin of his shoulders and my body thrummed at the feeling of his muscles under my fingers.

Curiosity made me foolish, and I found myself tracing the hills and valleys of his skin, fascinated by the way the muscles flexed, every time he moved his arm.

“You like that? I worked hard on those…” He chuckled, watching me curl my fingers around his biceps. He was so… big. I moved my fingers up to the hardness of his chest, splaying my palm on his pecs and my fingers caught a hard little scar, almost perfectly round and deep.

“What is this…” I asked , curious my finger dipping into the healed skin and he hummed.

“Your father . He shot me when I was chasing his car down in Jeju Do. Foolish bastard. Thought he could outrun me.” He laughed .

I glanced at him, catching his eyes and the ebbing laughter , my heart twisting.

“Then why am I here? You hate my father. You killed my entire family. So why am I here, Jungkook?” I asked foolishly, my heart breaking a bit and he hesitated.

“Because you’re mine.” He said simply.

I closed my eyes in despair.

“If this was our wedding night…. What would you say…?” He asked suddenly.

I stared at him, confused.

“What?”

“If we got married back then… When you were eighteen. And it was our first night together….. what would you say?”

I sighed.

“I’d ask you to ….to be gentle.” I whispered.

He nodded.

“Tell me , then.”

I stared at him, feeling helpless.

“Go on, Elena.” He said again.

“Jungkook…” I began but he shook his head.

“Ggukkie.” He said softly. “ Call me GGukkie… That’s what you used to call me …when we were young.”

I clenched my fists, on his chest, resisting the urge to push him off. That wouldn’t end well for me.

“GGukkie…” I whispered, finally, glancing up at him, licking my lips and parting them gently, eyes as wide as they could go, “ you know its my first time right?”

Jungkook’s eyes fairly danced at that and he hummed, leaning closer.

“Is it, baby?” He asked, reaching up to brush my hair away, fingers gentle on my face.

Get into it. Get into it and get it over with.

“You know it is…” I pouted, “ No one else can touch me. I’m yours , aren’t I GGukkie…”

He laughed, rubbing his nose against mine.

“That you are, kitten.”

Kitten? That’s a new one.

Shut up and stay in character , fuck.

I was so fucking screwed.

“ So… will you be gentle?” I whispered , “ I don’t want it to hurt.”

Jungkook wrapped his arms around me rolling over and taking me with him till I was lying flat on top of him.

“Then how about this angel? You can ride me…. As slow and gentle as you like. Make yourself feel good on my cock, yeah….?”

I stared at him.

I’m gonna fuck you and you’re going to do all the work.

He’d played me like a fiddle.

“Well baby? Go on…. Take my pants off.”

I exhaled angrily, before moving down, to tug on his pants. He helped me take them off kicking off his boxer briefs as well.

That’s a beautiful dick. Objectively. Very pretty.

Shut the fuck up.

“ Get it wet for me baby….” He said softly. I glanced down at the hard length of it, jutting out of the small thatch of hair and felt my mouth go dry . Which would be counterproductive if I wanted to get it wet. So I swirled my tongue around my mouth, trying to get my mouth moist, before leaning down and carefully wrapping my lips around the head.

Fuck, he tastes good.

I shook my head a bit to clear the voice in my head, glancing up at him with my lips stretched around the soft pink head and he was looking right back at me, eyes heavy and dark .

“Go on baby, take more of it in, use your tongue…make me feel good.”

I closed my eyes, letting the spit coat the hard length of his cock, sinking down till the tip began to inch down my throat. I sucked lightly, running my tongues back and forth on whatever skin I could touch and it was like sucking a lollipop except the lollipop was thick enough to stretch my mouth wide and hit the back of my throat.

I felt his hand reach into my hair, gripping hard and I whimpered.

“Be gentle…” I whispered, pulling off and his eyebrows shot up , clearly in surprise . He stared at me for a second, as though considering my request and then his fingers loosened , threading through the strands soothingly.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He whispered . I went back to sucking him off, somehow my natural tendency to work hard making me bob up and down, using my tongue and taking him as deep as I could. I felt a sick sort of satisfaction when he moaned in pleasure and for some damn reason I wanted to draw more sounds out of him.

This is a dream. Either that or you tripped over a pothole and fell into another dimension.

“ Are you wet ? Come here, so I can check….” Jungkook said softly and I pulled off moving up to straddle his hips. I flinched when he reached down, tracing my slit with carefully fingers before slipping in two. I tightened against the intrusion, still sore on the inside and he pulled his fingers out, bringing them up to my mouth.

“Suck…and get them nice and wet if you don’t want it to hurt.” He said quietly and I wrapped my lips around his fingers, letting my spit coat the slender digits.

When he pushed them back into me, the slide was easier , wetter and I gripped his shoulders, trying to relax around him. It felt foreign but also good… I felt good…

I stared down at him, the broad muscled body and the handsome face and for a crazy moment I imagine what it would have been, if I had married him. Would it have been this….this… weird pleasure that was somehow both painful and exhilarating at the same time. I bit my lips as he curled his fingers inside me, rubbing at some spot high up inside me that sent heat shooting straight up my spine, slick dripping out of me and onto the hard planes of his stomach like honey from a comb.

“Now sit on my cock.” He said quietly. I trembled, reaching down to lightly grip his cock, moving till the head lined up right against my slit or where I thought my slit was. Biting my lips, I lowered my body, feeling my body cleave to let him in, his cock pressing in and in and in.

My knees gave out and I slid down the length of him, the sudden, incredible fullness knocking the breath right out of me.

“ Fuck…baby….you alright?” He whispered and it messed with my head, the way he actually looked concerned and worried and I couldn’t take anymore of it.

“Please… Please… I just… I want to go home…” I whimpered, feeling full and stretched out, my thighs trembling and my insides wet and warm and somehow stuck between wanting more and wanting it to end.

Jungkook grunted, fingers curling over both my hips and lifting me lightly and with ease.

“Come on baby…. Ride me….” He whispered, “ Put your hands on my chest and roll your hips, up and down .”

I did as he said, one hand braced against his chest, the other gripping his shoulder as I tried to move on him but it was hopeless. I had no energy or inclination to do this and the pleasure was fast ebbing into frustration. Jungkook seemed to sense it because he growled.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking bad at this… Fine… Just lay there and let me use that stupid cunt of yours.” He snapped, gripping my waist and folding his knees just enough to brace his feet on the bed. I gasped as I got lifted a bit , his cock slipping in impossibly deeper , the tip nudging close to my cervix , the lightest brush of it send sharp jolts of electric pain pleasure up my spine.

“Oh fuck,..” I breathed as he pistoned into me, hips hitting my ass with brutal force as he fucked up into me and I could only tremble, eyes fluttering shut, fingers going numb from how hard I was gripping him.

“You’re gonna cum today… I’m gonna make you cum on my cock…” He growled, reaching down and pressing his thumb against my clit, rubbing softly, slow circles that were almost gentle compared to the brutal pounding oh his hips and I felt my mouth go slack, wetness slipping out of my tongue and dripping down my chin because of how excruciatingly good it felt, having him so deep, pressing in against the edge of my womb and I and to press my palm, right up against my belly , stunned because of how my body seemed to open and shift to make room for him.

“I’m gonna cum inside you, right inside your womb, fuck…. Gonna carry my babies for me, right sweetheart? Gonna watch you get round and full with my seed , watch you drip milk all over me with those beautiful tits….fuck…”

The shock of his words sent me over the edge, my body clenching down on him as I came, my orgasm so strong that I felt like I was cramping up on the inside and I toppled forward onto him, landing on his chest and bouncing a bit. Jungkook grunted a little, wrapping both his arms around me, holding close as he fucked me right through the aftershocks, body stilling only when I stopped shuddering and I felt warm wetness spill inside me, so deep that I knew I would have to swallow three morning after pills after this, although I was on birth control.

Because one could never be too sure with these things.

Jungkook stayed still under me and it took me a few seconds to catch my breath. I finally levered myself off of him, legs shaking as I rolled over and onto the bed before breathing in huge lungfuls of air.

“Can I go?” I choked out.

Jungkook grunted. “ Get the fuck out of here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I stumbled out of the cab, exhausted and out of my mind with self loathing, I didn’t expect to see Hoseok sitting on the pavement outside the bakery, leaning against a streetlight, face warm but determined.

“Hobi?” I asked stunned. “ What are you-“

He cut me off with a kiss.

I stared wide eyed as he pulled me into an embrace, wrapping me in warmth and scent of his cologne, his hands impossibly gentle around me as he all but cradled me against his body, his lips moving gently against mine.

“Elena…” He breathed against my lips, eyes glinting . “ I love you. I’ve been in love with you for years. I’m so fucking sorry for being such a coward but you deserve to know… you deserve to know how I feel about you.”

I stared at him in disbelief, my heart pounding as I punched his chest in desperation.

“No… No fuck you… what are you doing…. He’ll kill you…” I hissed and he tightened his arms around me.

“I don’t care.” He hissed. “ I don’t… I can’t just… I can’t let him hurt you like this. I won’t. I’m going to tell him. I’m going to tell him to let you go or lose our friendship.” He said angrily and I trembled.

My heart raced because Hoseok was the only one I’d ever loved. In every way a girl could love a boy. He was and had always been this confusing breed of brother and friend while everyone had drooled after Jeon Jungkook , I’d always been drawn to him…drawn to his quiet strength and to the way he had always treated me as an equal…

But… but Jungkook…. Jungkook who would put a bullet in his brain without a thought if he thought that Hoseok was trying to move in on something that belonged to him…..

“Hoseok…just… Don’t. I… I love you too…” I breathed out, tired and scared and so fucking worried because what if someone was listening even now..what if word got to Jungkook and he tried to hurt ….i couldn’t even think it.

“Come find me when Jungkook is busy . When he can’t find us…” I said softly, reaching out and pressing my palm against his face.

“I’m not scared of him.” Hoseok growled and it was ridiculous.

“But I’m scared of losing you. “ I said quickly. “ We can’t… He can’t know. Ever.”

Hoseok nodded before pulling me close again.

“Was he too rough?” He whispered and I blinked, flushing. I shook my head.

“No.. I. No. I think…”

“I hate that he was the one to touch you, first. You.. You deserve to know how good it can be…. How gentle.. I want to… fuck…” He shook his head pulling away and I wrapped my arms around myself.

“We can’t…” I said quietly. “ you know we can’t.”

He glanced at me, eyes blazing and lips parted and I groaned.

“Don’t look at me like that Hobi…” I whispered, shaking my head.

“Tomorrow. He’s going to Jeju Do , to inspect a new resort. He won’t be back till the day after. Call in sick at work.” He said quietly and I bit my lips, feeling a bit like a whole idiot.

I nodded.

He reached forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

No self preservation skills at all, I thought miserably.

If Jungkook found out…….

Author’s Note : I’ll add the taglist here tomorrow

#bts smut #bts fanfics #bts fics #bts #jungkook smut #jungkook #bts scenarios #jungkook fics #bts fanfic

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marvels-bitch-boy · 3 years ago

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Emerald Eyes Part 2: Chapter 8

Chapter 8: (Wanda’s POV)

Word Count: 3k

A/N: This one took a while to figure out how I would work with Wanda's perspective. Hope you like it. I'm sorry it's so short.

Masterlist , P1 Chapter 1 , P2 Chapter 7 , P2 Chapter 9

After the talk with the team, I didn't see Y/N around the compound for days. My mind went into a frenzy. What if he was avoiding me? What if he decided that he was better off without feeling! Why wouldn't he at least text me? I've had to talk to Pietro if I wanted to get an update on him. There wasn't anything that helped calm my worries. I checked with F.R.I.D.A.Y. to see if she had any updates on him and she informed me that he was still in bed. I felt the urge to go and curl up with him, just keep him company and make him feel safe. Having him close to me, being there for him. It's all I want now.

— 1 day later —

"Pietro! Do you know...-do you know if Y/N is doing alright? He still hasn't left his room" I was beginning to get even more concerned considering he didn't even leave for food in the past two days. My face obviously showed my concern, I couldn't help but frown when his face only shifted slightly. He wasn't as upbeat as he usually is, which also concerned me. "Pietro...what's wrong?" He took in a deep breath and looked down both hallways that were on either side of us.

"Look...he's okay, it's just that- " he thought for a moment before continuing "-he's a little sick that's it." That made me even more concerned "No! You don't need to worry! He's being taken care of, there's nothing for you to worry about..." he ruffled my hair with a wry smile "I promise" he quickly made off without letting me get another word in.

I couldn't let it get out of my head. I wanted to be the one taking care of him, just making sure he slept well, seeing if he ate, letting him know I wouldn't leave his side. I needed to show him that there wasn't anything that would take me away from him. Walking down the hallway there was only one place that I wanted to be and I knew I had to go. The sounds of the compound reverberated through the hall as I made my way to my destination. I raised my fist to the door and before I could "Ms Maximoff, you are not one of the designated people allowed entry" F.R.I.D.A.Y. 's voice was calm but her words stopped me dead. I stood there confused. Not allowed entry? What? Why wasn't I allowed in? Did I say something to make him want me to stay away? Did he change how he felt?

My stomach made flips over itself. As I was left alone to think about all the reasons why he wouldn't want to see me. He didn't want me anymore? Did I take too long? Did he find someone new? Did he really get over me that fast? Did he even actually have feelings for me?

Suddenly I was jolted out of my thoughts before I could even finish them. The door opened and Pietro stood in front of me. I saw he was getting pushed out of the room and caught a light smile on Saxton's face as he began to close the door and turn away I caught his smile shift into a faux mope as he walked away. Pietro closed the door and held a frown. His face moved from mopey to surprised. "Wanda! What are you- why are you outside his door?" My brow furrowed. Pietro was allowed in but I wasn't? And he didn't look sick... what the hell just happened!

"What were you doing in there? Is he still sick?" Why isn't he telling me the truth? I backed away from him and began to get irritated. I crossed my arms and went for a stare into his eyes as he avoided me. "Pietro...what's going on?" he stared at the floor before looking up to me and when he caught my glare he seemed to fold "Fine!... He's not sick, after he let that giant fuckin weight off his shoulders his body came out of a 'defensive state' -I don't fuckin know!- and actually let him rest and he felt like shit for a few days and now he's relaxing and catching up on a ton of tv that's he's missed while being such a hardass and following you around like a little puppy dog while you stay with the walking talking MP3 player!" I stood in shock as I let all the words fully hit me. Was he telling the truth? My mind didn't register everything fully and I couldn't think. There was nothing in my mind as I stood there. His face went back into shock and he hugged me as he continually apologized in my ear.

Why was he apologizing to me? I deserved that, I put Saxton in that impossible situation between me and Natasha. I was the one who set his emotions on fire...literally. I made him flee the compound. I was the one who told him I still had feelings for vision when I didn't!

OH MY GOD, I DIDN'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR VISION!! WHAT THE FUCK! I lied to Y/N and I lied to myself...God, why did I say that to him, I ruined things with him.

"I don't love Vision..." my words hung in the air and Pietro broke away from me and I could only let the tears hang in my eyes as they began to drop. He looked at me in shock as he separated from me. "I don't love him, I don't think I ever did." it hit me for a moment, all the reasons why I wanted to be near Y/N so much, why I needed to be the one near him, why I wanted him. "-I need to tell Y/N, I have to tell him" I attempted to step forward and open the door but Pietro blocked me. He didn't let me get past him. His shock still stood as he became the only barrier between me and Y/N. Attempting to move him only made him push me farther away from the door. "Pietro!" he shook his head and forced me down the hall. "No. no, you are not telling him anything of the sorts..." his face looked like he was threading a needle through a plank of wood. "That is the last thing he needs to hear now, I promise you will get a chance to talk to him but don't mention vision, or anything like that" he kept guiding me down the hall and didn't let me turn back. Not even once. We entered the common room and Vision quickly joined my side and took me to the couch. It felt unnatural to be with him now. I needed to tell him, I needed to tell Y/N that he was the one I wanted to be with. Vision's arm around me felt like it was searing into my skin. There was nothing more I wanted than to pry his hands off of me.

Steve wandered in and only then was I freed from Vision's grasp. "Wanda, I've got a mission for you tomorrow. Briefing in 30" he said it with a nice little smile that made me sense it would be interesting, to say the least. "Solo or team?" his smile lifted as he walked away. "Conference room in 30" I got up and excused myself as Vision watched me with disappointed eyes. I can't tell him just yet, I don't want to hurt him but I know I have to tell him how I feel.

—

"You'll be going to California to pose as a newly admitted student to UC Berkely. There have been reports of students going missing, now normally this wouldn't concern us but local authorities have confirmed that the students who have gone missing all have a similar genetic code that was discovered after they were found." he pulled up photos of the most recent missing students and their files. "You'll be undercover with Pietro, I want you two to get some information from other students. Do not engage under any circumstances." I nodded as confirmation. Now I can spend some quality time with the twin twister. Hopefully, it goes better than last time.

—

The mission was only supposed to be for three days and somehow Pietro was able to extend it for a full week! I don't know what he told the Captain but he extended my time away from Y/N. It's given me time to rethink how I want to tell him, how I feel for him. I'm confident now in how I feel. Now Pietro doesn't think I should tell him but he doesn't know the full story between us, he doesn't know the way we feel for each other.

—

When the mission finally finished early in the evening I knew that when we arrived back to the compound it would be the perfect time to check on how Y/N is doing. There won't be anything to get in our way and I could finally be with him. I paced around the jet as Pietro recalled the mission to the nearest agent who seemed to be bored out of his mind. I never saw how energetic Pietro can be after missions. It's terrifying.

As the compound slowly came into view my heart began to race. The sun was rising and I could see the compound come to life. The hummers driving in and out look like ants exiting a colony. I see the light hit the lake in the most beautiful way, all I could think about was how Y/N would feel if he were here. "Whatcha thinking about?" I heard Pietro's voice echo through my ear. It surprised me and I felt like my skin jumped off of me. "Just about him...He'd love this view" I heard him sigh behind me and he only backed away. "What? Piet, is there something I should know?" He looked past me at the compound and just shook his head. His face carried a sense of maturity for once. It felt odd but comforting. "Just don't expect too much from him right now"

We landed and the first thing I did was make my way to his room. I knocked. No answer. His door came ajar and it seemed like he had already gotten up for the day... He felt better. He was okay. This was my moment. This was the chance I'd been waiting for. I asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. for his whereabouts, there wouldn't be another chance for me to tell him. "He is currently making his way to the training room, Would you like me to inform him you are searching for him?" A smile reached my face at the same speed as Pietro makes it to the kitchen at 2 am. "No, that won't be necessary. I want to surprise him today F.R.I.D.A.Y." she acknowledged me and I made my way to the training room. I had a pep in my step that hadn't been seen in months.

I walked down and took notice of the smallest things. I saw the birds fly by the early morning sky. The wind tousled the trees. The sounds of recruits making their way through the compound. My footsteps echoed through the hall as I made my way. I felt light on my feet it seemed like everything was lining up perfectly. I turned the corner and I began to hear the laughter that I had been missing for days. My mind flooded with the sound of his laughter. It was so joyful and it felt so energizing. I felt like my heart was beating in another. I couldn't wait to join him.

As I got closer to the doors I was able to make out two figures, they were circling each other. I could see the smile on Y/N's face as I got closer. His attention was zoned in on the woman in front of him. Her hair was an auburn red. I knew who it was... the one person who I knew could get between us. It felt like the feathers that had lifted me up turned into the heaviest of weights. They only sunk deeper into me as I watched them together. I saw her smile towards him shift into a smirk and she made the first move. As they became tangled in their limbs I saw a glimpse of a smile on his face as he went down and then the closer they got. He seemed alive with her. He seemed happy. I felt myself shrink as I watched them get closer and closer together. I saw the space between them closing and I felt drawn to intervene. I entered through the doors and moments before they joined together I cleared my throat. It didn't help, I felt the lump in my throat form as they looked at me.

Natasha's hands on him made a wave of anger in me ignite but the way that they were so soft with each other only deepened my sorrow. I looked away from the two of them when we made eye contact for a moment. I couldn't help my hands wandering toward each other. The only way that I distracted myself was by tugging at my shirt. I began sweating from my palms as I felt the stare of Natasha burn into me. I looked up and caught the form of their hand intertwined behind their backs. A moment passed in silence before I looked into Y/N's eyes and he shifted before placing his hand on her waist. At that moment it all clicked... his avoidance of me and the way that Pietro was acting. He knew, he knew and he didn't tell me. I realized how long the silence had hung for a moment. "Did we wake you? Sorry if the chase in the hallway was loud" Y/N was the one who broke the silence it snapped me out of my thoughts and I realized the way he speaking to me. The way he didn't even know I haven't been here. He didn't know I was off on a mission. He used 'We'... They were together in his eyes. Now they were together right in front of me. He really changed his feelings. He didn't feel the same for me anymore. I kept my emotions inside and I decided to speak "No, I just was looking for you..." I was looking for more than just him... I was looking for his heart "I thought you might want some company to train -but I see you already have that" He did... it was her. Either he lied to me when he said he didn't have the same feelings for her as me, that what he felt for me was deeper. The more that I looked at the two of them the more my chest hurt, it felt like a thousand bullets had lodged themselves into my heart.

"Yeah, Nat didn't want me to go too hard so it was just some light work..." his grip on her pulled her into him even more. It looked like they were puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly, I couldn't even look at them as he spoke. "-we were actually going to head back to the kitchen in a minute anyway. Right Natty?" he turned to her as if he was backed into a corner. He was scattering to get out of here and escape with his new love. A love that wasn't me.

"Thanks for checking in with him, I appreciate it" the only words she spoke to me. The only time she said a single word to me this whole time. She spoke like he was her property, that I required her kindness to move forward. I saw them walk down the hall and I witnessed them close the distance between their lips as they rounded the corner. A smile on his face was as bright as the sun when I arrived this morning. I knew that I had lost him. He had fallen into her as I took too long to dig myself out of the hole I made with Vision.

It was too late to be with him. He made his choice.

— days later —

The longer that I saw Natasha around the compound the more jealousy filled my chest. I watched Y/N whenever he was around. I tried to take in whatever of him I could. I didn't speak to him since the day I got back. Pietro stayed with me for the next two days as I came to terms with this gut-wrenching news. He told me how he found out. When he told me that he felt I was meant for Y/N...it only made me sink deeper into my heart. I hugged him for as long as I could. He trained with me and kept vision away. I couldn't handle being near him, and I couldn't handle being alone.

I was sitting in the conference room with Pietro working through the files that built up while we were undercover. As he laughed at one of the forms I saw through the corner of my eye that a figure was walking past the glass window. I saw the Y/H/C hair that belonged to my heart. He walked with a small smile that brought light into the compound. He carried a small note in his hand and made his way toward the common room. I stared at him as I heard Pietro speak. No matter how much I wanted to break from my trance I couldn't. He had me trapped in all of him. I saw him disappear through the door and it felt like the light had gone with him. "Wanda...I know you still want him, but you need to let him go- he's hers now" That's the thing, if he was with me, he wouldn't be mine, and I wouldn't be his. We'd be each others. We'd be equal.

Taglist:

@littlewinchester15 @ilostafriend @nektotersh @ironscarletwidowsoilder @lexi21pro @zyguard118 @diaryoflife @rokkyy @ethanwoods @ihaveanxiety71 @blackwidow-3 @Hangingcurtain10 @axienic @iamsimpforpoppy @wubio @dakotastorm @cristin-rjd @your-average-fanfiction-consumer @itsyourgirlmalise @feedonme

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shig-a-shig-ah · 4 years ago

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LAYING CLAIM

» pairing: dabi x fem!reader

» cw: dubcon, revoked consent, noncon (we’re going on a journey, okay?), rimming, anal fingering, anal sex, crying, gratuitously fanon characterization. 18+, minors DNI.

» a/n: Started this months and months ago, and since I’m finally getting around to wrapping some WIPs, I guess you can have it now. Thanks @thebiggergroove for beta-reading!

» wc: 5.3k

» ao3 mirror

Like my work? Support me on Ko-fi or request a commission.

The thing about Dabi is he's not usually a possessive guy. Fucking is fucking, as far as he's concerned—it doesn't really matter who is doing it with whom as long as everyone is getting off on it. But goddamn if there isn't something about you that makes him want to make you his.

And he's gotten that, more or less. It took some sweet talking and cajoling, and a few late nights where he made you come until you couldn't see straight, but you agreed not to go sleeping with anyone else. Sure, you've made him promise the same, but that's fine. Not that he's going to actually stop, of course, but he goes out on recruiting missions alone and he figures what you don't know won't hurt you.

That's all enough to satisfy him, at least for a little while. But then a few weeks pass and there it is again: that stupid jealousy and all those unbidden thoughts about the people you were with before him. People he knows. You never talk in too much detail about your past hookups, but he's not stupid, is all too aware that he's not the first one in this ragged band of miscreants that you've crawled into bed with. You've fucked Jin, and Shigaraki, and probably even Magne, god rest her soul—Dabi hadn't missed the way the two of you had huddled up giggling in the corner of the old bar one night, disappearing together unusually early, making those bedroom eyes at each other. And in theory that's fine. Nothing wrong with two girls having fun together, after all. Hell, bi chicks are hot and Dabi wouldn't mind taking advantage of that someday.

But first he needs to find a way to get the image of you with your legs spread for half the League out of his goddamn head.

If he's being honest, it's Shigaraki who bothers him the most. Magne is dead. Jin is a decent dude and, Dabi has to imagine, tame as a kitten in the sack. But Shigaraki, well...Dabi can tell just by looking at the guy that he's a freak, and the idea of you riding Shigaraki's dry, crusty dick, of letting him do who-knows-what filthy shit to you? It just gets to him.

And then Toga has to suggest that stupid game and go putting ideas in his head.

You're all sitting around the crumbling office space that passes for a hideout, drinking to celebrate the League's first successful double-amputation (because fuck that germophobic, transphobic prick), and blondie is just begging to play a drinking game. Normally Dabi doesn't go for that shit—why anyone needs an excuse to get wasted is beyond him—but he's in a good mood, and you make that adorable pouty face as you tell him that you played in college, that it's really fun, and somehow he finds himself sitting in a circle on the dusty floor with the rest of you losers playing 'I haven't' or whatever the fuck it's called.

It's all bland shit to start. Toga's never driven a car, Shigaraki's never gone to school. But, after you've made your way around the circle once, everyone seems to be loosening up and Spinner takes one for the team by getting to the interesting shit and admitting he's never slept with a girl. It spurs a moment of awkward silence made all the worse by his red face and obvious self-consciousness about being a virgin, but then Compress stage-whispers "Neither have I," before winking salaciously at the blushing lizard and taking a dramatic pull from his beer bottle. It's enough to lighten the mood.

After that, Dabi's forced to admit it's a decent game. There's not much he hasn't done sexually or criminally, and since those are the two topics everyone focuses on, he finds himself getting hammered faster than usual. It's a good thing too—his buzz makes it easier to ignore the look you and Shigaraki exchange when Jin announces that he's never tried watersports, easier to pretend his gut isn't twisting at the knowing smirk on your leader's face as he raises his beer bottle to drink and you follow suit.

That particular moment makes it all the more surprising when, on your next turn, you hide an embarrassed face behind your hand and announce that you've never taken it in the ass.

Dabi can't stop thinking about it the rest of the night. Obsessing over it, and the idea of being your first, your only, even if only in some less than conventional way. The thing is, it's downright tame in comparison to a lot of what you two get up to, so barely even kinky that it's almost impossible to believe you've never tried it. Sure, you've never done it together, but he'd just figured neither of you were all that into it, since it hadn't come up when you were doing lewd shit to each other.

That kind of sex is fine from his perspective, but only fine. He doesn't actively seek it out because in his mind nothing beats the feel of being balls-deep in a warm pussy, but that doesn't mean he hasn't done it. He's hooked up with plenty of girls that were into it and has always been happy to oblige; hell, he's even taken it more than once, on account of the fact that when it comes to the bedroom he's willing to try anything twice.

But doing it with you? Well, that thought sticks. The two of you finally go to bed and Dabi's so turned on by the idea of your virgin ass that he can't help testing the waters, prodding teasingly at that tight hole with one spit-slicked finger until you're squirming away and whining. He doesn't manage to convince you right then, but he makes those puppy dog eyes that are far more effective than they have any right to be, and you agree to give it a go in the future.

"Not here," you specify, the words fuzzy on your drunken tongue. "Someplace nicer, with a real bed." You already have your reservations, and you certainly don't relish the idea of undertaking that particular venture now, on a worn mattress in this falling apart building, with its paper-thin walls and complete lack of hot water. Between your booze-fueled haze and the seeming interminability of the League's poverty, you mostly forget about that casual promise by the following morning.

But Dabi doesn't. He picks up a small bottle of lube the next day and carries it around in his pocket shamelessly, a little reminder that he has something to look forward to besides roasting that prick Endeavor, and he strokes himself off to the idea more than he's proud to admit as he waits for the League to move on to better things. He can be patient, when he needs to be.

That patience takes a toll though, and the minute the League settles into their new digs in Re-Destro's sprawling villa, where there's actually privacy and clean, comfortable beds, Dabi shows up at your door with a cheshire grin and every intention of finally getting something from you that's just for him.

You grimace when you remember that promise, try briefly to talk him out of it even, but he isn't so easily dissuaded. It's made all the harder by the fact that you can't give him a specific reason why you've never tried it, beyond that it seems uncomfortable and you hadn't particularly enjoyed the couple instances when you'd allowed someone to slip a finger or two in there.

"C'mon, baby girl," Dabi coos, his breath hot in your ear as he pins you to the wall, working two unnaturally warm fingers into your cunt. "I'll make sure it's good for you. Be gentle, get you nice and warmed up first, all that sweet shit."

It really is unfair how persuasive he can be when he fixes those pleading turquoise eyes on you. The way the pads of his fingers are curling just right deep inside isn't helping either, and he teases you like that until you give in to his cajoling, though you still insist on waiting a couple nights so that you can do your research and make sure you're entirely prepared. Dabi demonstrates his appreciation by burying his face in your cunt and not surfacing for air until you've come three times and are begging for a break.

When the night finally arrives, Dabi's feeling positively giddy. He slips into your bedroom with a bottle of wine and a couple glasses he's brought, a little something to help you relax because he's a gentleman when he wants to be. It should be good booze too—he lifted it from Re-Destro's private stash, and he's certain baldy doesn't drink anything that costs less than ¥30,000. Of course, Re-Destro doesn't love sharing either, but the uptight prick is too scared of Shigaraki to complain about anything the League does. They all take advantage of that, because they can and because it's fun to watch him bite his tongue when they piss him off.

You don't make it easy for Dabi to focus on pouring the drinks though, not when you're reclining in that armchair by the window, freshly showered and fidgeting nervously. He was half-erect before he got here from just thinking about what he was going to do to you, and the sight of you acting like you're some blushing virgin spurs him all the way to rock-hard. By the time your glasses are close to empty, he's straining uncomfortably in his pants, and can't fight back his impatience any longer.

"What do you think, doll?" he murmurs, setting his glass to the side and standing up, shrugging his jacket off before leaning down to ghost his lips over your neck. "You ready to move this to the bed?"

The way you chew at your lower lip anxiously before nodding makes his dick throb.

You empty your glass with one final, large swallow, your heart racing as you rise. You know it's stupid—you and Dabi have fucked countless times and a lot of it hasn't exactly been vanilla—but it's been a long time since you've actually tried anything new. His obvious excitement doesn't help either, paradoxically; it leaves you fretting about what will happen if you're somehow bad at this, or if you can't take it and have to stop. You've never really worried about disappointing him before, but now the thought weighs acutely on your mind.

It's with halting steps that you approach the bed and then, when you can't realistically drag your feet any longer, you finally tug the nightgown you're wearing off your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor to reveal what's underneath.

"Damn, baby girl," Dabi breathes, looking you up and down. You'd figured that since it was a special occasion you might as well dress up, donning a strappy bra and panties. They're little more than elaborate, crisscrossing pieces of lace, all white since he'd seemed so fixated on this pseudo-innocent, first-time act. His reaction doesn't disappoint, eyes lighting up as he stares at you hungrily.

You let yourself fall back on the bed, nestling against the many pillows. The look on his face has your stomach fluttering, and the wine has helped you to relax a bit despite your nerves, a pleasant warmth spreading throughout your body. It's joined by a different kind of heat when you feel the mattress dip beneath Dabi's weight as he positions himself over you, one knee resting between your thighs, just barely brushing against your center, a hint of what's to come.

"You look so good I could just eat you up," Dabi whispers hotly against your ear before tracing his lips over your jaw. Even though he wants to take his time, let himself savor this, it's taking every ounce of patience he has to keep the promise he made to get you worked up and ready for him, to not to tear those pretty bits of satin and lace off and have his way with you right then.

You whine eagerly when his mouth slants hungrily over yours, savoring the feel of those mismatched lips, the way the rough skin of the bottom one contrasts so deliciously with the top. Hot hands run over your sides as the kiss deepens, your tongues tangling together, and you moan against him.

When you finally break for air, Dabi moves his lips to your throat, his tongue lapping at your pulse before he sinks his teeth into you. He loves to mark you up, loves making sure everyone can see that you're indisputably his, and it's even hotter now that he knows he's going to fuck you in a way no one else has. You're shivering beneath him as he works, your hand tugging insistently at his hair, and Dabi lets out a low, throaty growl.

"Guess I'm not the only one who's eager, huh?"

Your hips tilt in response, pressing needily into his firm thigh, and Dabi can feel the skin on his cheeks straining against his staples as he grins. He traces one hand up over your ribs, cupping at your supple breasts, teasing your hardening nipple through the flimsy fabric of your bra. Those deft fingers work under the seam of your lingerie as he shifts his weight, increasing the pressure against your center while he pinches and tugs at the peaks of your breasts until you're whimpering, spreading slick along his leg even through your thin panties.

Dabi pulls away abruptly, rolling onto his back and tugging at you to change positions, shaking his head when you move to mount his hips.

"Come here, baby girl," he says, his tongue tracing over his bottom lip. "Like I said, I wanna eat you up."

The promise in those words sends a bolt of heat straight through your core as he guides you to straddle his face, hot breath tickling your inner thighs. One calloused thumb brushes your clit lightly through your underwear, blue eyes sparkling when your breath hitches at that soft touch. When he pulls that useless fabric to the side and runs his tongue over your already-damp slit, you shudder.

Dabi lets out a pleased groan at your reaction and gets to work more earnestly, lapping at your sensitive nub, licking and sucking until you're moaning and only then shifting a little so that he can lap at your insides, that same rough thumb replacing the pressure of his tongue on your clit. It strokes firm circles as he buries that hot, wet muscle inside you, the metal barbell there teasing your inner walls as you grind involuntarily against it. You can't help but whine when he withdraws it, but that disappointment is quickly replaced by you startling as that same wet muscle extends further back to tease at your puckered entrance.

"A-ah, Dabi, wait," you protest, your face heating up self-consciously almost at once.

Dabi pauses, shifting just enough to keep his reply from being muffled as one warm hand runs reassuringly up your thigh. "I don't think I can help myself, doll," he says, his slick-coated lips splitting into a wide grin, "you just taste too good."

That heat in your face worsens as he dives back in, not even waiting for you to respond before he's flexing his tongue to poke at that tight ring of muscle. You still try to squirm away, feeling unprepared for this. You hadn't even considered it among the possible activities were volunteering to participate in, but Dabi is holding you firmly in place with the hand not working at your clit, and when another whine of protest escapes you, it's weaker than the first. The foreign sensation of his tongue against your neglected hole has you hyperaware of the press of his thumb at your apex, and you can feel tension building in your core even as you writhe in embarrassment.

It's as though he knows, too, and you suppose maybe he does; after all, he's the one who's done this before. He thrusts his tongue a little deeper, rolling your clit between two hot fingers with enough pressure to cut off any further protests. A long moan is the only sound you can muster as you spill over the edge, your thighs clenching around his head and your hips jerking shakily as you ride out your climax with his tongue still buried obscenely in your rear.

Dabi's face is covered in your juices by the time he slides from between your thighs, and he wipes it away carelessly with one arm as he repositions you again, pinning you on your back and wasting no time peeling away your now-soaked panties. He grins at the sight of your glistening folds and swollen clit before stripping off most of his own clothes, kicking them unceremoniously to the side and relaxing between your legs, kissing at your still-trembling thighs.

He teases at your sensitive cunt with his fingers, coating them in your juices as you whimper. "Ready for a little more?" he asks, and you nod despite the fact that your cheeks are still burning from before and your stomach is knotting with nerves.

"Just...go slow, okay?"

"Of course, baby girl," he promises, "I told you I'd take good care of you." With that, he starts to work you open, dipping one finger into your tight hole just until he reaches the first knuckle, working it in and out slowly. His other hand toys at your clit, stroking and rolling that puffy nub again, making you mewl.

Dabi waits until you're relaxed before trying any more, pulling away from you just long enough to dig the lube from the pocket of his discarded pants, coating his fingers with it. He works that lone finger deeper this time, in and out until it's buried to the last knuckle.

The sensation is strange, but not entirely unpleasant; even if you think you'd rather have that finger curling in your cunt, the slight stretch is still adding to the faint throb already growing inside you, the one that worsens when his thumb returns to your apex.

"Fuck, you're so tight," Dabi growls when one well-placed stroke of his thumb has you clenching lightly around his finger. He ruts his hips against the sheets, trying vainly to find some relief for his aching member, but it's not enough—he needs to feel you, needs the vice-like grip clutching his fingers to be wrapped around his cock, and he needs it soon.

You feel him withdraw to add more lube, and then he's fingering you again, adding another digit to stretch you wider. It comes with a stab of discomfort when he forces his way past the second knuckle, and you reflexively try to pull back. "Dabi, that's too much."

He abandons his soothing attentions to your clit, one warm palm pressing you tight against the mattress to keep you in place, stroking soothingly at your hip. His breath tickles over your inner thigh as he chuckles softly. "If you can't take this, how are you ever gonna take me, hmm?" he says teasingly. "You're doing great, baby, just relax."

You will yourself to unclench, trying to picture Dabi's satisfied face once you're taking him, that adoring look he sometimes gives you, the one that you relish. Your efforts are only marginally effective, but Dabi keeps pushing deeper, fucking you slowly but insistently with those fingers, and when you don't complain again, his thumb returns to caressing your sex.

"That's a good girl." Dabi picks up the pace, cursing under his breath. "You're doing so good."

You're wriggling against his hand now, trying to increase the friction at your center, not quite minding the foreign sensation of his fingers and the uncanny fullness they bring so much now that there's heat thrumming in your core. "Y-yeah, like that," you pant encouragingly, and Dabi grins.

"That doing it for you?" he purrs. "Think you can take more?"

You start to shake your head—the stretch now feels like all you can handle—but Dabi's already adding a third slick finger, shoving it in with less restraint than before. You feel more than discomfort this time when three knuckles breach your asshole, and it quickly dampens the arousal that had been steadily building. "Dabi, slow down," you gasp.

"Aw, are you sure you can't handle it?" His blue eyes meet yours, pupils blown wide with arousal as he looks you over with the hungry gaze. "'Cause if I'm being honest, it feels like you're trying to suck me in. Like this greedy little hole wants to get fucked."

The huskiness of his voice sends a shiver down your spine, even as another whine of discomfort escapes you. For just a second his expression darkens slightly, but then he's slowing his movements, twisting his fingers instead of thrusting them in and out.

"Better?" he asks, and you think you catch an edge of impatience in his voice.

It is better though, a little at least, enough that you can focus on the way your cunt flutters every time his thumb strokes over your clit. So you just nod; it's not like this wasn't bound to be a little unpleasant at points, right?

Dabi's smile stretches wider, his thumb working faster. A mewl slips from between your lips and Dabi takes that as encouragement, his fingers resuming their persistent thrusts. It's still uncomfortable, though not quite as bad as when he started, and your teeth sink into your lower lip to bite back your complaints. You let your eyes fall closed instead, trying to focus on his attentions to your hooded nub, on the heat that's pooling in your lower belly. You're inching towards another release, and you let a hand lift to your breast, tweaking at the pebbled flesh of one nipple to help yourself along.

"D-dabi, I'm close," you stammer, your hips bucking against his hand.

"Yeah?" His movements speed up, his voice breathy and excited. "Do it, baby girl. Come for me and then I'm gonna fuck this tight little ass of yours."

You swallow hard, trying not to dwell on those words for now—you can tell you've loosened up more, tolerating the jab of his fingers, but his cock is substantially larger than those, all too intimidating. Thankfully, it's not hard to remain distracted, to focus only on your approaching peak.

Dabi can feel that orgasm rip through you when it hits, your asshole clenching around his fingers as you keen, and it's then that he reaches the limits of his patience. He needs you now, needs the thrill of burying himself in your tight ass and claiming you for his own, of reaching his own release deep inside and then watching his seed spill out afterwards. What a satisfying sight that will be.

He scrambles up from between your legs to catch your lips with his, fumbling his boxers off as his tongue invades your mouth. When he pulls away, his eyes are bright, needy. "Ready for me?" he asks.

You're not, not really, but you can see the fervor in his eyes, hear the urgency in his voice, and you convince yourself that he won't be able to work you open much more with his fingers no matter what. Your agreement doesn't matter anyway—he's already rolling you onto your side and slotting his chest against your back, his straining erection poking at the cleft between your thighs.

"Like this?" you ask, surprised by the choice of position.

"Just like this," he pants in your ear. His teeth nibble at your lobe as he slicks his cock generously with lube. "Want you spooned against me so I can see those cute faces you make, feel you squirming when you take me."

And fuck, when he slips one hand back down to finger your asshole one last time, it doesn't disappoint—your body ripples against him when that invasion catches you off guard, and he can see the way your lips part obscenely as you gasp at his touch. His fingers abandon your tight hole almost as quickly as they'd entered, and then Dabi is aligning himself with your entrance, using the last of his restraint not to slam his hips forward and bury himself inside with a single thrust.

You can feel the spongy head of his glans, and the slick coolness of the ring that adorns his tip, prodding at your rear. One of his arms worms its way under your side, his hand groping distractedly at your breasts as you tense in anticipation.

"Relax, baby girl," he murmurs, but he doesn't wait for you to even try. He's already slipping in, moving slowly until he encounters resistance an inch or so inside, and then pausing.

He has to struggle to keep his composure. Even like this, with not even the full head of his cock in your ass, his balls are tightening, just the thought of what he's doing nearly enough to send him over the brink. He waits until he's sure that won't happen and then starts moving, pushing insistently to work you open around his length with shallow thrusts.

"A-ah, Dabi, g-go easy," you stutter, already squirming. You can feel your body resisting the intrusion, so much larger than his fingers, and it aches slightly every time he tries to breach that inner ring.

"I am, baby, don't worry. I'll take care of you." His cheek is nuzzling against yours, his lips kissing and sucking wherever he can reach, but his motions don't change at all even as he murmurs so sweetly. He only slings one arm over your hips, toying lazily at your clit. That attention helps you relax, helps distract you a little, but it's not enough to prepare you for when he drives himself in further, finally surging past that taut band of muscle.

The invasion brings a sharp pain, one that has you crying out. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, your body reflexively contorting to try and escape the cause of that hurt, but his arms tighten around you, holding you in place as he continues to work himself deeper with every thrust.

"Dabi, that hurts." Your words are sharper this time as each stroke sends another unpleasant throb through your overstretched hole, but his only response is to plunge the fingers rubbing at your clit into your dripping cunt.

"Shh, you're doing great." He curls his fingers, stroking against that spongy spot deep inside. It makes you writhe, but that does nothing to address the pain between your legs as he fucks you.

"Dabi, don't, that's not helping, I—"

"It's okay, baby girl, you're taking me so well," Dabi coos. You'll adjust, he knows you will—you're usually up for anything, of course you can take this. And fuck, there's no way he can stop now, not when it's even better than he'd imagined—hotter and softer, your pillowy walls enveloping his length every time he plunges into you, the exquisite tightness of your entrance massaging his shaft with each thrust.

"I'm not— I don't— I don't want to do this anymore." You can hear the desperate edge in your voice now. Your heart is racing and there's a cold sweat forming on your skin as tears of pain and confusion start to leak down your cheeks. "Dabi, stop."

"Shh, shh, you're fine. You—fuck—you feel so amazing. 'S never been this good with anyone else, fuck."

"I don't care, I don't want this." You can't understand what's happening, why he's not listening. You twist your head to look at him, pleading with your eyes, but he's barely even focusing on you. His blue eyes are glazed and half-lidded as his lips wander over your shoulders and your neck, all the while murmuring those useless reassurances against your skin. You're thrashing now, your feet scrambling for purchase on the sheets as you try frantically to pull away, but he keeps his tight grip on you, one of his legs hooking around your own to hold you in place. "Dabi, I said stop!"

He shushes you again, rutting into you harshly, and a choked sob escapes you when he bottoms out inside you, his hips flush against your backside as you struggle against him. You feel sick to your stomach, and it only worsens when he pulls out until nothing but his tip remains, then drives himself back in with one agonizingly rough thrust.

You keep begging, pleading, wracking your brain and trying every past safe word you can recall, but he only continues to pound into you, his breathing erratic as he pants in your ear. "It's okay, baby. You're taking my cock like such a good girl. You're—ngh—making me feel so good."

The ache between your legs is diminishing slightly as you adjust to his girth, your body entirely unconcerned with whether you want that or not. He's still fingering your sopping cunt too, his palm grinding against your oversensitive clit with each plunge of his long digits, the lewd squelching sound of those attentions mingling with the sharp slap of his hips against your ass as he fucks you.

"You like this?" he asks, but you know he's not really asking. "You like knowing I'm the only one? That I'm making you mine, just mine, just like how it should be?"

"Dabi, stop. Please stop." Your appeals are feeble now, far more for yourself than for him as you continue to utter them between quiet sobs. Dabi's somewhere far away, awash in the tight heat of your ass and the satisfaction of finally staking his claim on you, aware of your supplications but not hearing them, not really.

You slump, still sobbing, and let him take what he wants. His attentions to your cunt have a coil tightening in your gut, but when your climax hits it's perfunctory and mechanical, no real pleasure to be found even as your hips jerk and your holes spasm, a joyless whine passing from your lips.

No real pleasure for you, at least. But fuck, the feel of you squeezing around his cock as you come is what Dabi has been waiting for, your insides massaging his length as though desperate for him to decorate your walls with his cum. It's a gift he's glad to grant—he rocks his hips more urgently, keeping his thrusts shallow now so that he's sure to get it all deep inside.

"Fuck," he groans against your neck. "Gonna make me come, baby girl. That what you want? Want me to fill you up?" You shake your head, but his movements are already growing spurtive and erratic, his grunts louder and throatier, and then you can feel his cock jerking inside you, a hot rush of cum flooding your guts.

Dabi doesn't stop then, either, keeps fucking his seed into you until he's softening, not quite able to work himself in and out of your tight, abused hole any longer, and only then does he finally pull out, a dribble of cum leaking obscenely down your thigh.

You're sniffling, drawing shaky breaths, and you try to pull away the moment his arms relax around you. They only tighten again, his lips planting soft kisses along your temple.

"Shh," he murmurs. The sound of his shushing makes you want to scream. One hand lifts to wipe at the tears on your cheeks. "You were so good, baby girl, there's no need to cry. You were fucking incredible." He means it too, doesn't think he's ever come so hard in his life as he did now, making you his.

Dabi can't wait to do it again.

#dabi x reader #dabi x you #dabi x y/n #mha dabi #bnha dabi #dabi #dabi smut #dabi fanfic #fanon dabi #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha smut #bnha fanfic #bnha reader insert #reader insert #tw: noncon #tw: dubcon #tw: crying

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uglypastels · 3 years ago

Note

Hogwarts idea

Can you make a fic about how Tom sneakes out at night to spend the nights in the readers room (common room/bedroom) he’s a gryffindor and she’s a ravenclaw

Maybe they have a deal with the house teacher of one of the houses. Maybe he tries to hide in her bed as so not to wake the others. Maybe they fall asleep in the common room and have a minor panic when they wake up and it’s morning. Maybe they accidentally switch clothes or one of them steal the others clothes so they walk around with the wrong colors.

love love love love this!!! and I'm sorry it took me so long, I've been in a bit of a writing slump, but this is the best request to get me out of it! thank you <3 and hope you like it. (this got a bit out of hand and I might have changed the ending a lil bit but I hope its good heh)

(gender neutral!reader, I think? at least that's what I went for but if I accidentally missed something just let me know and I'll edit, I'm dumb)

_________________

Being in your seventh year at Hogwarts, with exams just around the corner, was taking up almost every waking minute of your days. Adding the fact that you had your Head Student duties, and Tom had his Quidditch house team to take care of, meaning that you barely ever had time for each other. The only solution, in your young and smitten minds, was that some rules needed to be broken- just a little bit.

It took Tom some time to convince you since you were supposed to be setting the right example for the younger students, but eventually, one gloomy Friday morning, he finally got to you.

"C'mon, love, it will be fun," he had his arm draped around you as you tried to enjoy your breakfast, the looks of your fellow housemates never going unnoticed. There had never been a rule against students eating meals at different tables, and yet, seeing the captain of the Gryffindor team spending all his mornings and evenings at the Ravenclaw table was a strange sight. He preferred your table, he had said one day when you asked, it was quieter. That you could not disagree with. The Gryffindors were always rowdy.

"I don't know Tommy, what if we get in trouble?" you bit the inside of your cheek, as you always did when you got nervous. Tom responded by pulling you in tighter and kissing your cheek, then said:

"That's half the fun of it, darling." His words rushed an array of feelings through you. A part of you started to feel flustered, while the other wanted to shove his face in the large bowl of porridge that stood on the table.

"Please," he looked at you with his usual sad puppy-eyed look. "I feel like never get to see you, y/n. So I'll come over tonight, you can let me into the Rave tower, we'll hang out a bit and then I'll leave- like nothing ever happened. What do you think?"

"I don't know, Tommy-" You tried to keep a straight face, but it was hard to say no to a gorgeous face like his. after a few short moments of silence, you finally agreed, "fine. Be there at 10. Do not be late, Holland."

"I wouldn't dare to waste a second away from you." He kissed you, grabbed a slice of toast (from your plate, of course), and got up.

"Wait, where are you going?" You asked, confused, since breakfast wouldn't end for another 20 minutes.

"I'm kind of late for early detention with McGonagall," he chuckled before running off, toast between his teeth. You just rolled your eyes and finished your meal in peace.

You never really thought that your classes were boring, but that day, every minute seemed to go by at a quarter of its speed. It was as if someone had put a time-stopping hex on you if that even was a thing. You couldn't wait to finish your studies in the library (the scheduled hours at the library was necessary since there was still so much to get through before the NEWTs), so you could make your way back to the Great Hall for dinner. Once there, you immediately were on the lookout for the head of dark brown curls. You stood in the doorway, letting people pass you, but no luck; Tom was nowhere to be seen.

Internally, you already started cursing. It would be just your luck that he'd get attention again for the rest of the night. Why did you have to fall for the troublemaker-

"Aaah!" you shrieked as suddenly your feet were lifted from the ground. Arms wrapped around your middle, and you were spinning around. You wanted to scream more, but you heard the familiar laugh, and it immediately put you at ease.

"Put me down," you laughed. Tom complied without pretence. But his hands remained at your sides as you turned to face him. And then, eagerly, his lips met yours in a chaste kiss.

It was, of course, silly to think that you could have this moment just for yourself, in a hall filled with hundreds of students. Only a few seconds into your kiss, you could hear wolf-whistles around you. Someone, who sounded very much like Tom's friend and team co-captain Harrison, called out from afar: "Get it, Holland!" Tom was quick to put up two fingers in his direction, not paying attention to anyone. But the mood was ruined, and you pulled apart.

"Missed you today," he said softly.

"Missed you, too." You replied. His fingers slipped between yours, and like that, hand in hand, you were already making your way to the Ravenclaw table, but, unfortunately, Tom was stopped when someone tugged at the back of his robes.

"Oi, you dickhead-" but he laughed it off when he saw it was Ben, another friend and member of the Gryffindor team.

"Sorry 'bout that," Ben apologised, "but we're supposed to be holding a team meeting, remember?" He pointed over at the Gryffindor table, and, indeed, the rest of the team was huddled together at the edge of the table. Harrison had gotten up when he saw you and Tom looking, returning the gesture of the two fingers held up in the V-shape.

"Shit, I forgot." Tom brushed his fingers through his hair. He looked at you, eyes already full of regret, and you could tell he was ready to apologise, but you stopped him before he even opened his mouth.

"Don't worry, we'll talk later, yeah." You kissed him on the cheek, "remember, 10."

And miraculously, Tom did remember. As the clock in the Ravenclaw common room struck 10, you heard the faint knock at the other side of the entrance. Of course, Tom knew where and how to access the Ravenclaw tower, but the riddles that the eagle doorknocker asked were at times a bit too hard, bless him.

You pushed the door open, and there he stood. His robes were exchanged for sweatpants and a hoodie. A blue one, you noticed, not that that would help him fit in with the crowd in the common room. Tom had been team captain for the past three years, and his team had not failed to win the cup once since he had even joined the team, to begin with. Everyone in school knew him and adored him. Not even the rest of your house managed to be mad at him (though the Ravenclaw team definitely held a bit of a grudge after a few bad losses over the years).

He stepped inside, and you quickly lead him around the common room up the stairs of the dormitories.

You had heard that years ago, the stairs had a spell on them that stopped the male students from even attempting to step up to the other dormitories. Now, however, this "rule" has been dropped, ever since several students expressed their concerns for the double standards between the male and female student body, as well as the discomfort it might set up for the queer students.

Personally, you thought it would be even better if every student could have their own room, since sharing a space with four other people could get a bit crowded at times and you liked your privacy, but it was understandable that in an ancient building like Hogwarts renovations were not always an option.

Luck struck once more when you opened the door to your dormitory, and it was empty. All of your friends were still out, most likely staring at their books, in the hopes of getting struck with a moment of brilliance that could help them pass their exams. You closed the door, and Tom made himself comfortable in your bed.

It felt like the entire day had already been wasted, not to mention dinner, so you hurried down to your bed, pulling down the curtains of the four-poster, just to get that little bit of privacy you longed for at the end long day. But, of course, it was nothing unusual or suspicious since you often closed your curtains when you were too tired to chat with your roommates.

It was dark with the curtains closed, but Tom was quick to pull out his wand and murmured "lumos" the tip immediately illuminated in soft blue light. The glow was just enough for you to see his face, the goofy grin taking over his features.

"What are you laughing at?" you asked, whispering in case someone would walk in.

"Nothing," he shrugged, "just happy to be here with you."

"You're daft," you laughed.

"Yeah, about you," and with that, he kissed you. The light at the end of his want went out as he dropped between you. His lips were soft and sweet, the pudding that had been served with dinner still lingering on him. He must have stolen a few cookies from the table when it had finished, you thought, to eat later. He often did that.

You stayed like that, cuddling, stealing kisses from one another, for hours, probably. You were never quite sure because eventually, you both drifted off into a slumber. You could have probably slept like that, wrapped in his arms, forever, if it wasn't the bright light peeking through your curtains that was hitting you right in the face. And the whispers. You could hear people talking.

"I swear, they're just the cutest." It was your friend talking.

"But do they really need to do it here?" A second voice said, also familiar to you. "I mean, how many rules do you think they're breaking?"

"Oh shut!" you heard pillows being thrown. Or at least assumed that was what was happening around you. You couldn't be bothered to open your eyes, instead deciding to focus on Tom and his calm breathing. Your head was close to his chest, so you felt it rise with each inhale he took, and you could hear his heartbeat.

It was Saturday, meaning no classes. You had studied every day for the past few weeks, definitely deserving a little break for the day. If you remembered correctly, Tom wouldn't have training until the late afternoon and you could always skip breakfast. If you got hungry before tea, you could always sneak into the kitchens. After all, the two of you had already broken so many rules, what would be the harm in one more.

Ignoring the further whispers of your friends, you snuggled closer to Tom, feeling his arm wrapping tighter around you. Both of you shuffled around a bit, trying to find back the comfort from the night, and quickly you fell back to sleep.

The End

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rumblelibrary · 3 years ago

Note

I'm not sure if you have already done something like this before, and if you did, please let me know, I'd love to read it, BUT I was wondering if you could do a little thing, maybe with Sebastian Zöllner, where he is like totally behind on every fucking deadline, work is just piling up, he got into stress with his ex, the dishes are not done, he should go take out the trash, you know, everything is just piling up and he just cracks under the pressure, severely doubting his worth as a person. And his friend, the reader, gotta try their best to build him up again, telling him all the things they love about him, and it slowly turns into a love confession without them noticing.

Is this too elaborate, does that make sense for Seb? Idk. To me it does? Like he's always very...Seb around other people, but deep down I feel like he's always under this pressure to live up to his own and others expectations, wanting to be big and famous and perfect in a way.

I'm so sorry, brain go brrr.

Never Enough [Sebastian Zöllner x Reader]

Word Count: 4k Warnings: bad habits (heavy smoking and drinking), self deprecation, depression and some fluff in the end. A/N: I loved this prompt, I love to write Sebastian so thanks to you once more for giving me this opportunity

He should have probably realised something was wrong when the ashtray was vomiting cigarettes out from its dooming position beside the laptop.

He nervously used the left part of the one he just ended to scavenge some space and just pressed it along the others.

Or maybe when after another sip of the same cold coffee mixed with cheap gin he felt the walls of his stomach revolting and stirring against him, threatening a much bigger damage.

Or, again, when he felt like calling back Elke because he was so alone and he was hungry and tired, and she might hate him but he could pull some puppy eyes and maybe it would work. It usually did.

The truth was that he shouldn’t have taken up so many jobs, but the bank account was crying and he needed them, he needed the money.

But again: writing about the umpteenth girl- artist performing naked on a famous historic location?

Or do we have to talk about the way somebody splashed some colour here and there on a canvas saying it is the catharsis of his young mind against the social construct?

Please, may God spare him from the man calling himself landscape artist because he takes pictures of naked girls on a field.

Charged up with this amount of nothingness, he could just write and delete, write and delete, words count going quickly up to 400 only to go back at 0 in a snap of his fingers over the buttons, because he couldn’t just tear them down. He had to give them some hope, a glimpse of potential he couldn’t see and he wasn’t even aware it existed. Each of them disgusted him, but he was specifically asked to be entertaining and not a killer with his words.

So he kept swiping up videos and photos of these artists, trying to find one thing, one holy grail to get attached to and finally write one good optimistic line in the middle of the words he had to pull up to keep a moderate tone.

He rubbed his temple running over his hairline, which by the way was perfectly fine, before his hand reached down and he touched his t-shirt pulling on the neckline to gather some air, he was wearing his pyjama still, white stained shirt on blue tartan pants. He raised up the shirt and bowed his head down giving in a long inhale from the inside and just cringed to himself.

He looked around as he couldn’t stand up, if he did then he will get only more distracted and these articles needed to be ready for tomorrow.

He noticed the spray against the mosquitos on the floor, those little bastards always hiding under his desk to bite his ankles, he picked it up and sprayed it over himself like it was perfume hoping to ignore the need of a shower for few more hours.

His eyes scanned the small studio flat he was living now: the dishes sticking out of the sink, the noisy fridge buzzing. The one table that was also his work desk filled with used mugs, stained plates covered in cigarettes and leftovers, empty packages of his favourite brand discarded everywhere: from the bathroom up to the couch and to the small bed he owned. Damn, if he run out of cigarette it will be hard to ignore how he also run out of food.

The space was dark and gloomy, some of his stuff still packed up, the fake pop art panting of him and Elke staring at him reminding him of his other loss.

He didn’t touch the bed in days, he just slept on the seat or on the couch.

His attention was attracted by his phone buzzing.

He sat up straight as it was her, it was Elke.

Did she sense his discomfort?

“Elke” he picked up the call in a second.

“Wow, a quick answer, did you have your phone already in your hand or it happens just so late at night?”

Her sarcasm did’t go past him, but he just thought how long it was since he heard a human voice and not the recording of some idiot calling himself artist.

“No, I was thinking of you”

“Yes, sure, look I have sent you an email with the bills of the time you were here, the ones you have left to pay and it is only fair that you pay at least half of them”

“Sure” he just said it because he wanted to go past the point of money, he wanted her back. Maybe he could crush at her place, feel her hands through his hair, shower, sleep some good sleep and the articles will come around in few types “Elke, I was thinking we might…”

“I just called you for the bills”

“I know, but maybe we could have” his eyes darted at the top right of his laptop screen to see the time “a drink together?”

She huffed a laughter as he frowned lightly “I know you Seb, if it is money or sex what you’re looking for that door is closed and it has been for a long time”

“I know” he murmured as he let out a breathy sigh, a dooming sense of loneliness creeping over him like a giant spider ready to wrap him up and eat him “I just hoped…”

“Don’t hope Sebastian, you’re already an hopeless cause”

She hung up on him and he was left there, he kept that same pose with his phone against his ear. His eyes trailing once again over the empty page of his document on the screen, on the chaos surrounding him.

He nibbled on his bottom lip before running his tongue over the pained area.

He pushed the phone back down on the table with a tremble of his jaw and a shaky hand.

She was right.

What he did of his life anyway? He lost most of his occasions in life, he was now in his thirties and he concluded nothing of what he hoped to be, he failed in all the departments both as an artist and as a critic.

A jack of all trades is a master of none, and maybe only the first type of the famous quote could be applied to him.

He couldn’t even take the trash out or he couldn’t remember the last time he ate something that was vaguely resembling of fruits or vegetables. It is all good when you imagine yourself as a bohemian rooting against the world, when you convince yourself that’s only the proof you needed to know you are fighting well against a system of art that privileges banality and marketing over real artistic value and that, one day, all your struggles will be worth it.

Even Picasso was poor for a long time in Paris.

Damn, maybe to be in a situation like this in Paris would sound more romantic.

But the truth was: he never imagined to have to do it alone, that life would feel so overwhelming, that there wouldn’t be anything but extreme struggle, anger, loneliness and a terrible diet.

For a moment he wished to be a baby again, to be the bright boy he was and let mommy take care of his needs and his dirty shirt and empty stomach. He wished that maybe somebody noticed him before, that somebody saw his talent and helped him to pull it out instead of leaving him to do it on his own only to come late to every step.

And now it is too late, he is lost in the sea of terrible paid jobs and anguishing relationships, let’s not forget maybe he indeed had a receding hairline and he was doomed to get bold .

He squeezed his eyes as a soft sob took over his lip, hand running over his forehead as he pulled on his hair justifying his tears with some physical pain. He shook his head as he tried to gain back some composure, hand flung over to pick up his coffee mug and giving in a long gulp of the coffee, the same one he swore before to not touch again, only to almost choke on it, couching it out only to pick up the bottom hem of his shirt to clean his laptop screen.

He fucking hated to write on a computer, the old typewriters inspired him but that damn ink was too expensive now for his sore pockets.

He smirked to himself as he kept doing it, finding good excuses to call himself off any responsibility. But maybe Elke was right, well she surely was, she had two degrees, maybe he was really a lot cause. He frowned as he wiped slowly the screen with his already stained shirt, the wetness sticking then against his skin as soon as he let it go giving him another shiver.

He didn’t have even the strength to cry, he could only accept it was over.

The curse that he shouted out loud when he heard knocking at the door, smashing him out of his thought spiral, generated an immediate anger reaction from him.

“Fuck, shit, if it is the fucking neighbour, I swear I will kill her cat or that rat she has as cat, fucking hell”

He grumbled as he stood up moving across the table not caring about his state, he only wanted to crawl back into a ball and maybe nuzzle a bit somewhere.

When his death glare appeared after the door opened in a powerful swing his eyebrows lifted immediately finding you on the other side.

He blinked, one of those sleepy blinks where somebody closes his eyes and then opens them really wide to make sure it is not made up in their brain, that one.

His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at you

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“You should wash your mouth with holy water Sebastian” you said shaking your head raising your arms to show him some paper bags “I am bringing food and body shower”

He shook his head “Are you calling me stinky?”

“I am” You quickly replied moving past him into his place ignoring his groan.

He stood by the door slowly closing it, he was sure that old bitch was looking through her peephole, only then he stared at you try to make your way into the filthy kitchen. He was really embarrassed about his antics, but surely this time he exceeded some record.

“I am speechless Seb, I helped you with the moving and this place seems to have taken over you” you said as you knew he was in some rut when he kept such a long phone silence.

He was usually always texting, sending memes or one sentence texts.

You cared about him, deeply, you knew he was full of flaws and little quirks, but that’s what made him special. Nevertheless, you were worried about the state of the place, how it showed the way he let himself get dragged through the days. So he observed you, better to say, your back, the way you moved around opening the window to let fresh air inside, turning on a lamp to make some light that wasn’t just the blue one of the screen. Pulling out commodities and food from your magic bags like some sort of Mary Poppins of struggling writers. How you poured soap in the dirty load of dishes and pans, the way you marched securely to his desk to pick up that filthy mug and you frowned just sniffing at it.

“Is that poison?”

“Rat poison” he corrected you.

You shook your head as you cleaned a glass and filled it with water and among the groceries you pulled out a banana.

“Have this now, it will help” you said and he took the glass with one hand and the banana with the other like his brain was shut down.

He stared at you as you leaned your head slightly on side, he went through bad times after the break up but you had never seen him in such a helpless state.

He was chaotic but he always loved to keep up his appearance, to give that handsome and damned kind of vibe.

“Sebastian” you called him as his eyes spaced out and now where back on you “Are you alright?”

He observed you, he stared at your face like he was trying to recognise you, truth it was he kept pushing himself to say yes, say yes, say it is all good, make a joke, a remark, keep it up. You don’t need his burden, you don’t need to hate him like Elke and others do.

Just say yes.

“No” he said as his lips trembled and you watched his ironic mask fall right in front of you as he looked away hiding his tears, real tears, not the ones he can play out whenever he needs.

Just as quickly as you gave him the banana and the water you took them off his hands afraid he might hurt himself by dropping the glass in particular.

"Seb" you called his attention as he sobbed moving like a bird trying to hide his face against his own shoulder.

You took his now empty hands dragging him toward the couch and kicking off the pile of dirty clothes and discarded books on top of it to make him sit down with you.

"Talk to me"

He didn't, the man that was never out of words, even in the times he should have been, was now silent as a tombstone staring away from you as you gave a gentle squeeze to his hands. It pained you to see him in such a state.

So weak, so helpless like a lost child.

"I can't help you if you don't talk"

Sebastian shook his head still staring at the wall.

"You can't help me"

"Is it about writing? I can proof read you, it will be a moment"

He shook his head again making, hair bouncing from side to side.

"No, it is not important if I write or not"

You frowned at that comment.

"What the hell?" you just blurted out "Seb you're a talented writer, you're passionate, funny, witty, why shouldn't it be important?"

He looked up at you shaking his head "I can't write, I can't put together two sentences"

Your eyes travelled onto his side profile, truth to be told he looked worn out but he was still handsome like only Sebastian Zöllner could be. He had that chaotic charm, even with a wrinkled suit he was fearless, strong, poignant. You couldn't avoid him, he owned every place he stepped in and you could feel his gaze run through your bloodstream.

When he asks a question, he meant it, it was a test run into your bones and you loved every second of it.

His lips tightened as he diverted his gaze finally to you. You knew his relationship with Elke was important, he cared about others even if he didn't show it daily like most people do.

"Is it Elke?"

"No, she was just right"

"About what?"

He gulped, his throat dry as he pulled his bottom lip in his mouth grinding his teeth over it like playing something through that gesture.

"About me"

"Breakups are always shit, don't you even.."

"No Y/N" he interrupted you, he was serious, maybe his voice trembled but he wasn't lying or playing some role "I am really a lost cause, I mean look at his place"

His hand waved around the small flat like a drunk orchestra director.

"It is pure trash, I haven't finished unpacking, I didn't have food until you came, I am unable to look after myself, to look after the people that I care about. I worked so hard to be an artist and then I became a critic and now I am so knee deep into my own shit that I have more debts than entries, more failures than successes, more haters than friends"

He gulped down, the waterline of his eyes dangerously red and he sniffled up as he let out a little weak whisper "I just wish I could disappear"

"No"

It came out of you like a lighting bolt, it surged out of you before you could even elaborate. Like an order. A command.

"Seb, you're now in a rough patch of life, but you have always worked hard and well as a writer"

"I am a writer because I failed as an artist"

"You're a writer because you know of what you're talking about, because you're able to see the difference between marketing and passion, between hard work and laziness, because you respect that profession and it makes you the best critic"

"I just want to destroy them all because I am envious, Elke always said I am fuelled by my own envy”

"I have read pieces of yours only encouraging the rightful and bringing down the real frauds"

He shook his head as he was just fixating on the wrong, on the flaws, on the problems.

You huffed cupping his cheeks to force him to look at your eyes.

"Look at me" you said not admitting replies "you are talented in what you do, you are one of the best in your field and you're not on some big magazine only because they know they will have to put up with your shit: with the fact you always meet the people, you look at art pieces in presence, you touch them, you research the colours, you scrutinise everything to the bone"

He took your hands hating to be held like that but he squeezed them in his owns.

"And yes, you're allergic to ironing clothes and washing dishes is your personal nightmare, and yes, you give out many temper tantrums and have a terribly dark sense of humour, you are a failure at time and money management, you love filthy rich stuff and smoke like your life depends on it"

He stared at you, he listened quietly as you knew him from so long and many people, Elke included, wondered what you gained from helping him or just being around him that much. He often teased his ex about being jealous of you and she always said that it was like being jealous of a mortgage.

"So you agree?"

"I agree to say you are flawed like all of us, that you are just the perfect balance to your writing, you're what you write. You're passionate, you give out the two hundred percent of what you can give, you are like this, you go all-in in everything you do, there's no compromise, no mid way, no foreseeable change of direction, you speed up into the darkness and don't look back. You are bold, you take risks, you let people hate you because you do not compromise with who is son of who or who is the director of what gallery, you judge people over their real qualities. Because you talk to them in their face, because you don't hide that yes, you want to be great, because you're handsome and charming and smart, nobody can outsmart you in your field, not even that idiot you hate that much"

"Golo Fucking Moser" he murmured

"Golo Fucking Moser" you repeated with a chuckle "you don't have anything to envy to him beside the bruises he probably has on his knees for bending down to anyone"

He chuckled at that comment.

"And also, you're more attractive, that pisses off Seb, it is unfair to the poor man”

He leaned his head on side as you wouldn't normally shower him in compliments, he had enough ego for that, but you had never seen him like this and you wished to never see him again in such a state.

"You find me attractive?"

"Well for sure you're an eye candy" you joked

"I mean it"

You rolled your eyes blushing a bit and huffing a chuckle "I do, alight? It is universal knowledge"

He looked at you as he still held your hands in his, his thumbs making soft shapes over the back of your hand.

"That I am attractive or that you find me attractive?"

You groaned looking away with an embarrassed giggle “okay, okay, I see you're back in yourself, let's eat now"

You moved to stand up but he didn't do the same remaining sat in his spot.

"Tell me"

"I pumped your self esteem enough, now let me go"

He chuckled softly, he never really thought you'd be interested. He usually shows off so many bad traits that he has to tone himself down and really try hard to attract someone. It is all an effort on his part to appear better or at least less quirky.

And then now look at you, appreciating even his shit show.

"Y/N" he murmured giving you a soft squeeze. You kept silent not daring now to meet his gaze. He bowed his head trying to reach for your eyes with his gaze and he looked up at you, a smile that wasn't provocative over his lips.

You pulled back yanking your wrists off his grip to move straight into the kitchen corner.

You begun pulling ut some fresh vegetables and bread, you also got some cheese knowing he loves it, wanting him to have a good dinner.

He followed you almost immediately and soon you found his arms grasping you once more in a hug, his chest pressed against your back, his forehead on your shoulder.

"Seb, you..."

"I know, I stink, just give me a moment" he said and you obliged him gently caressing his arms around you.

You hated to be in the friend zone, but you wouldn't be able to survive to lose him forever or to have him joke about it.

Now he was quiet, tender like a hurt pup.

"Thank you, you know you can count on me too, right? For anything” he said and you chuckled softly “I know, you’re my favourite avenger”

He nodded brushing his crisp beard against your cheek and after few minutes stuck in that hug he dropped a kiss on your neck "love you”

He pulled back giving you a smile as he picked the shower gel you left on the counter bringing it with himself to the bathroom with a soft hum.

You smiled a bit bitterly to yourself as you guessed it was meant in a friendly way, but today it was alright. You could endure it. Also that kiss, he always did it when he was drunk, at parties or in the taxi back home after a viewing. It was his cuddly way to say things without saying them, without rambling, and you appreciated that silent language.

Maybe now he was drunk over his own feelings.

Just like you.

Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief @thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved @fictionlandslanddreams @charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio @hb8301 @whatawildone @rhymerhymerhyme @thehuiabird @lilith-blackrose @unbeatablecurlgirl @obsidianlaszlo @alindeluce @zemosimp05 @baronesszemo-blackwood @nocapesdahling @everythingbeginsineternity-blog @archangelproperty

#sebastian zöllner #sebastian zöllner x y/n #sebastian zollner x y/n #sebastian zollner x reader #sebastian zöllner x you #sebastian zöllner x reader #sebastian zöllner headcanon #sebastian zollner #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl #daniel bruehl #ich und kaminski #ich und Kaminski fanfiction #tw: depression #tw: self deprecation

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ultralovedeluxe · 4 years ago

Text

Yan! Josuke with prompts #19, #44, and #29

Hello everyone! This was requested by @mochimizuki121 , thank you for requesting! Feared that it came out ooc, that’s why it took so long. Not proud of this one, but I hope you enjoy it!

‘Please don’t cry, show me that smile I love so much!’

‘Did you really think you could escape?’

‘Stop denying our love! Stop denying our future together!’

Warnings: 18 year old Josuke, female reader, yandere behaviors, assault, manipulation, break-up, angst (?), some Okuyasu x reader, ooc, light nsfw, non/dub con, blackmail

A word to describe Higashikata Josuke would be, emotional. Yes, that’s the perfect way to describe him. He lets his feelings take over in situations, but most importantly, his feelings towards you were getting in the way of his friendship. But he won’t ever admit that

Yes..emotional was a perfect word to describe Higashikata Josuke..

Here he was again, listening to Okuyasu’s ramblings. Usually Josuke wouldn’t mind listening to his friend, after all it was a delight to hear his friend speak. If only his friend wasn’t talking about how cute you looked when you slept, or what noise you made when he would poke your cheek. It was painful to just keep smiling, seeing your best friend with the girl of his dreams together. Josuke wanted to be happy for his friend, but his jealously kept making it harder for him to just pretend everything’s fine.

He couldn’t understand how his friend could mange to get a catch like that. What did Okuyasu have that he didn’t? Wait, he can’t be thinking of something like that, he has to be happy for his friend..

“You should’ve seen her Josuke! She looked so cute when she came over! She was wearing that necklace I bought her along with a cute skirt, ah she looked amazing! I’m so lucky to have her” Okuyasu said letting out a dreamy sigh, as he continued to walk back home. The poor bastard was too in love to even notice Josuke’s burning rage. Josuke tried not to grit his teeth to what he was hearing, but ended up doing it anyway. Josuke let out a low chuckle, “Wow Okuyasu..that’s sounds great..wish I could’ve seen it too...” he mumbled. “What did you say Josuke?-” Okuyasu asked, looking back towards his pompadour-haired friend who was falling behind. “Nothing” Josuke said a little bit more louder and more clear this time.

A few more minutes into the walk, Okuyasu kept babbling about you, Josuke was really about to lose his cool; but he didn’t want to hurt his friend. After all he’s supposed to be happy for him. “So as I was saying, I’m thinking of getting her a necklace with those initials-”

“Okuyasu, have you ever imagined [first] with somebody else?” Josuke asked in the friendliest manner possible. Okuyasu looked at Josuke with confusion, “No, why do you ask that?” Josuke shrugged and threw his school bag over his shoulder, “Just curious man, you know [first] is a really cute gal, don’t you wonder how she’d look with somebody else?” Okuyasu shook his head, “No I never thought about it that way..But now that you mention it, she is kind of better than me right?” Okuyasu asked scratching the back of his head lightly. “I don’t know man, well I gotta get home, see ya tomorrow then Okuyasu”

“Right see ya tomorrow..”

Unfortunately for Okuyasu, Josuke knew what he was doing.

Today seemed perfect for you. You had woken up extra early just to prepare lunch for Okuyasu. You weren’t an expert on preparing Italian cuisine, but a few tips from Tonio helped you get the hang of it a bit. Either way, Okuyasu is going to eat it since he never brings lunch from home. Feeling satisfied with what you prepared for your boyfriend, you decide it’s time to finally head to school.

You didn’t live far from the school, so it was easy to get there in time. You sat near one of the open benches and sat the lunch you prepared earlier this morning. Usually you’d would start working on your homework before class began, but thankfully you’d done it last night; so now all you had to do for the remainder of your free period was wait for Okuyasu.

Minutes passed by and you finally saw Okuyasu walk up to campus. The wait was finally over, you ran up to Okuyasu and hugged him tight. “Good morning Oku! How’s Mansaku-san? Oh! Here’s your lunch for today, I stopped by Tonio’s to prepare that Italian dish you liked so much, I know it’s not good as his but-” Okuyasu cut you off, “[first] could we talk real quick?” he asked walking over to sit by a bench nearby. Confused, you follow after him and sit down beside him, “Alright, what is it you want to talk about?”. Okuyasu bit his lip slightly, although it looked as if he was holding back tears, “[first]-chan, you are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, but I’m not sure I deserve you as my girlfriend” he said rubbing the back of his neck. You chuckled nervously, “Oku, what are you saying? You know I love you so much-” Cutting you off again, Okuyasu wiped a forming tear from his eye, “I know you love me, and I love you too..but I’m not sure about us. You deserve someone better, I’m sorry [first]-chan, but I want to break up..” and with that Okuyasu got up from the bench and walked away. Leaving you alone with the Italian cuisine in your hands and a broken heart.

You ate spaghetti that you had eagerly prepared earlier this morning just for your precious..exboyfriend with tears running down your cheeks. Not even after hours of sitting in class thinking about your ex, you still didn’t understand why he broke up with you. You wanted to understand why he did it, but you still couldn’t. Seriously? After all you’ve done for him. You thought your relationship with the male would last, but you guess not. You wiped the tears from your face, the sweater you wore was damp from how much you were wiping your tears. You just couldn’t stop crying, the break up really hurt. Thank god no one else knew of this place in school, you couldn’t even imagine what you’d do if someone saw you like this.

“[first]-chan is that you!?” you heard a familiar voice call out to you. When you turned around to see who it was, you were met with the pompadour-haired male running down the hill to meet you. “Josuke? What are you doing here?” you asked before frantically wiping the tears from your face. Josuke sat down next to you, “I didn’t see you go through your usual road to lunch, so I went to go look for you..” he said before looking at you more seriously, “[first]-chan, were you crying?” he asked with a concerned tone in his voice. You sniffled “I wasn’t crying, its just allergies..”

“Bullshit! You’re eyes are red and puffy! Did someone hurt you, tell me their name and I swear I’ll make them pay!” you shook your head and managed to calm Josuke down. “No Josuke it’s not like that, it’s just..Okuyasu broke up with me that’s all..” you couldn’t manage to finish the rest of your sentence before you broke down crying. Josuke gave you a warm embrace, “Shh, it’s okay, I’m here..” He felt your tears go through his yellow shirt as you kept on sobbing. Josuke let you go and held your face up, “Let it all out [first]-chan” When he saw that you kept sniffling, he sighed and gave you a quick kiss on the forehead, “Please don’t cry [first]-chan, it hurts me so much to see you like this, ah cmon show me that smile I love so much!”. Once Josuke let go of your face, you rubbed your nose and smiled a bit before softly whispering a ‘thanks’. In truth, you still didn’t feel better, but you appreciate that Josuke is trying to at least make you feel something else other than misery. It was the thought that counted right?

Meanwhile, Josuke couldn’t be happier. Sure, it hurt to see you cry, but the important thing was is that you were single. And now that he comforted you in a time of crisis, he was sure now that it wouldn’t be long that you would start to feel the same way.

You still felt awful after your breakup with Okuyasu, its been hard especially when hanging out with your friend group. You and Okuyasu still speak to one another, but it’s just not the same. Speaking of which, you’ve been talking to Josuke a lot more lately. Ever since he had helped you get somewhat over your relationship with Okuyasu, he has been glued to your hip. He walks you to class, and always accompanies you for lunch (or anywhere really). You have to admit though, it was annoying at first having Josuke follow you around like a lost puppy, but you soon got used to it. After all, all Josuke wanted to do was help you. You thought it was sweet that Josuke wanted to help you, but that still didn’t explain why he was acting..let’s say odd.

Holding you by your hand as you walked by the halls, never inviting the others to hang out during the weekends (and here you thought Okuyasu was his best friend). It was almost as if he always had time for you.

Oh but that’s just a silly thought. Maybe you were the weird one for thinking that Josuke was acting strange. He’s just being a good friend, that’s all.

Josuke is just a really good friend.

The sun was shining bright in Morioh-cho, everything seemed so lively today. Everything from tourists popping out every now and then, to the squeals of teenage boys raging about the latest chapter in Pink Dark Boy. Today seemed like the perfect day for Josuke to finally get something off his chest. He had planned everything out for today. He had invited you over to Tonio’s to hang out for the day, and you had agreed. He had bought you some flowers to give you by the end of the day, he had even asked Rohan to draw something you might like (which the mangaka had reluctantly agreed to).

Josuke was prepared, he was oh so sure you were going to say yes. Of course you’re going to be his girlfriend! Why wouldn’t you be? He had hanged out you for the last couple of months, he had given you the right amount of attention you’d ever need. Everything was going according to plan.

“No, I’m sorry Josuke, but it’s a no”

Josuke couldn't’ believe the words that had just left your lips. No? After all he had done for you, your answer is no? This couldn’t be happening.

Josuke shook his head, and quickly rubbed his eyes with his sleeve (trying to hide the fact that he was about to shed a tear). “But why? Am I not enough for you? Is there someone else you like?-” the pompadour haired male asked, trying his best to not let his voice crack. You smiled and shook your head while caressing his cheek with your hand, “Josuke..in all honesty I only see you as a friend, nothing more” you let go of his cheek and sit down on a small gray bench that was near. “Josuke, you are really one of the best friends I could ever ask for, but I just don’t see myself dating you, and besides..” you took and deep breath “Despite all that happened, I’m still in love with Oku, and I don't know maybe I'm just not ready for a relationship at the moment, y'know? But we can still be friends right?" you said, blushing lightly at the thought of your ex boyfriend. You'd expect that Josuke would've taken the rejection lightly, after all you were kind enough to still remain friends with the male.

Josuke however, did not take the news lightly as you thought he would. Almost immediately, Josuke had grabbed you by your hands and pulled you close to him. "Why do you still love Okuyasu after he broke your heart!? Why don't you love me, I've done nothing but give you adoration!". You looked at your friend in extreme fear, you didn't know what to do in this situation. "Josuke let me go you're hurting me! If you don't stop I'll-" you stuttered your words out. Josuke was just looking at you with a menacing glare, "Or what? You'll call Okuyasu? Stop thinking about him already! Just date me please, I loved you for so long! Longer than he has" You shook your head, you were starting to get fed up with his behavior, did he not understand what 'no' meant? "I said no Josuke! I don't want to date you! And if you think I will after this you're fucking stupid-!"

Before you knew it Josuke had slapped you, but due to his strength, the slap didn't feel like a slap at all. "I'm sorry [first]-chan but now you see what happens when you don't just agree with me. You need to stop denying our love! You know you love me, so please stop denying our future together!". You couldn’t believe the words that were coming from Josuke’s mouth. Were these obsessed, disgusting words truly coming from Josuke? Sweet, and caring Josuke. While you were lost in your thoughts, Josuke took this opportunity to grab you and hold you close to his chest. “I’m sorry for hurting you [first]-chan, but what you said really hurt me so I-” he stopped for a second and leaned his head closer to yours just to take a small sniff of your hair. You just smelled so good, he had to do it. You smelled like the coconut shampoo you had bought recently. And your perfume was different this time too. He knew he could overpower you at any time, so he took his chance and caressed your breasts softly with his hands. Along with this, he rubbed against your backside and groaned into your ear. He imagined it was him thrusting inside you. He imagines how warm you must feel. Or how cute you’d look when you were on the verge of climax.

Him grinding against you and touching you was the last straw, you knew you had to get away from him. You turned around and looked at Josuke with both disgust and fear, and then you ran. You didn't want to be in his presence any longer. Here you thought that Josuke was a good friend trying to help you in a time you needed the most. But he’s just some asshole who needed to learn when a woman says no is no. How upsetting, you only wished that the incident didn’t exist.

But for Josuke, those few moments felt almost heavenly. Grinding against you felt so good, he wanted more, but you just had to get away didn’t you? He watched you run off to who knows where. He knew he’d get you eventually, he just had to be patient. But his patience wouldn’t last long.

For at least three weeks you have completely avoided Josuke and your friend group. You ignored all their calls, because the farther you were from Josuke, the safer you felt. You wanted to forget that day you hung out with Josuke. You wished you just never went to that damn Italian restaurant. Maybe then he would never have confessed his ‘love’ for you (that is more obsession than love in your book). Maybe then none of this would have happend. But alas here we are.

The telephone rang and you overheard your mother speak with what sounded like Yukako. “[first], dear it’s for you! It’s your friend Yukako!” your mother shouted. You held the phone and answered. “[first]-chan where have you been? Are you okay? We’ve been worried. You didn’t come across a stand user have you?” Yukako asked concerned. You lied, “No, I haven’t, trust me even if I did I wouldn’t notice. I’m fine I’ve just been..stressed, that’s all..” you lied, you didn’t want anyone to know about your situation with Josuke. “Well that’s good. So I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me and Koichi-kun today. We were thinking of going to the beach just for the weekend”.

At first you were hesitant, you didn’t want to see Josuke, but you did want to see your friends since you missed them. And if it was just Yukako, Koichi, and potentially Okuyasu, then you were down to go. You sighed and agreed. It wouldn’t hurt to see your friends once more, and to be honest you were excited.

Yukako planned on picking you up and then walking to the beach, which you had agreed on. However, when she went to pick you up, she had brought some company. She brought Koichi (of course), Okuyasu, and to your horror, Josuke. Not once did Yukako mention that she was bringing Josuke along. Throughout the whole car ride you felt uncomfortable. You felt Josuke’s eyes watching your every move. It didn’t help that everyone else was having fun, while you were paranoid.

Arriving at the beach, things got worse. Josuke was behind you at all times, and really if people weren’t around you would have yelled at him to leave you alone. Unfortunately you couldn’t do that. Not with Okuyasu and the rest of your friends here at least.

You excused yourself to the bathroom just to get away from Josuke, and you could say that those three minutes you spent alone in the bathroom, were the best minutes you had in your life up until this point. You then heard the doorknob jiggle, so you walked over to it and unlocked it. “Yukako is that you? I’m almost done let me just-” you gasped at the sight, but before you could react, Josuke had covered your mouth and locked you both in the bathroom.

You whimpered and tried to scream but it was no use, Josuke was using Crazy Diamond to close your mouth. You heard Josuke chuckle, “You know its really cute when you think you can run away from your future boyfriend [first]-chan. Did you really think you could escape me?” he said. You felt as if he was mocking you. Things escalated from bad to worse as Josuke began to kiss your neck. Kisses went from heated bites on your neck, then sloppy, inexperienced kisses from Josuke. He had your breasts exposed, since he ripped your top immediately. You tried to remain emotionless throughout this whole session, but Josuke noticed, so he pinched your nipple to get a reaction. And a reaction he got as you released a muffled moan from your covered lips. “Please stop..” you whimpered.

You heard Okuyasu shout from outside, “Hey [first]-chan! Are you good in there?”. You wanted to cry for help, but Josuke bent you over and slapped your ass, “Go ahead doll, tell him you’re okay..” he whispered. Crazy Diamond lowered it’s hand from your mouth to let you speak. Josuke raised your head up, “And remember, if you yell for help, I’ll open this door right now and show Okuyasu how much of a whore you look-”

“I-i’m okay! Just a bit dizzy! I’ll be out soon!” you told him, you didn’t want Okuyasu to see you like this. “Okay! Just call me if you need anything” and with that you didn’t hear from the husky voiced male anymore, but you heard Josuke whisper in your ear,

“That’s my good girl...”

#yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere jjba #yandere josuke #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #yandere josuke higashikata #jjba imagines #josuke higashitaka #yandere headcanons #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #jojo x reader #yandere josuke x reader #not proud of this one but oh well

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andreafmn · 4 years ago

Text

I'm Not Afraid - Chapter 5

xWord Count: 3,374

Characters: Female Reader Argent Character, Original Male Argent Character, Derek Hale, Allison Argent, Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey, Lydia Martin, Chris Argent, Jackson Whittemore

Story Description: (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her father’s sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousin’s, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined.

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Teen Wolf, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and MTV Network. The only thing I own is Argent Reader insert, her immediate family, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ storyline.

Chapter: 5/?

A/N: If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

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Chapter 5

I woke up to a heavy and warm wight around my waist. As my mind started registering the scene around me, I noticed the soft snores that were filling the room, the strong smell of cologne, the rough skin encircling me, the chest in front of me that raised and fell at a slow pace. At some point during the night, Derek must have crawled into bed, and I couldn’t say that I minded.

He looked peaceful when he slept. No supernatural problems, no feuds, no hunters, just peace. My hand unconsciously landed on his cheek, softly stroking his cheek. Still succumbed to slumber, he leaned into the touch, nuzzling his head onto my hand like a puppy. I wish this could be the way it always was, but now that I knew the reality of the world we were in, there was no chance it would ever stay this way.

Deciding to let him sleep longer, I tiptoed down the stairs to the kitchen where breakfast had already been prepared. I looked around and noticed that their car keys were gone, which meant they had left early in the morning to do whatever it was that they always did. I greeted Brody who had trotted my way from the living room, and filled his dog bowl, adding a few tasty treats. While I served two plates, I put the coffee machine to run, ensuring the freshest pot for the morning. I looked around for a tray to take the breakfast upstairs in case my parents came back at any moment, eating my food as the coffee brewed. Placing some cream and sugars on the tray, I made my way back to the bedroom where Derek was starting to wake up, Brody following behind.

“Morning, sour wolf.” I softly pushed open the door, the tray in front of me. Derek was rubbing the night from his eyes, a soft smile playing on his lips. Upon seeing the man, Brody jumped on the bed greeting him with slobbery kissed. Derek laughed and petted his head as he laid at the foot of the bed.

“Morning,” he yawned. “Whatcha got there?”

“Some eggs, bacon, and hash browns. Also, some coffee.” He took the tray from my hands and set it on the bed. Taking one of the coffee cups, I sat over on my desk to work on the homework I had left pile during the week. Derek grabbed the plate and came to stand behind me, leaning down to rest his chin on my shoulder.”

“What are you doing?” He inquired, downing the food from the plate quickly.

“Homework. You know, the thing people my age have to do to be able to graduate from high school with good grades.” I looked to the side, my heart beating faster noticing the closeness of our faces. “I’m sure you wouldn’t know much about that.”

“I’ll have you know I was a good enough student.”

“Emphasis on good enough.” I booped his nose with my pen and continued my work. “When you’re done you should head home, don’t want my parents catching you here just in case.”

“Why? We’re not doing anything.” He sipped his coffee and sat down on the bed, Brody laying his head on his lap. I turned my chair and faced him, a laugh escaping my lips.

“I think you’re forgetting who you are and who my family is. Apart from that, I don’t think my dad will particularly enjoy the fact that a 21-year-old werewolf is in his teenage daughter’s bedroom, alone.” I grinned. “But suit yourself. I’d love to see how it will play out.”

“Alright, but can I at least take you out some time this week?” My heartbeat quickened, the sound loud enough for me to hear. “Is that a yes?”

“It’s not a no,” I grinned.

“I kind of need an answer,” he pressed. A grin played on his lips by the point he had stood and rested his hands on the arms of the chair.

“How about, I’ll let you know?”

“I’ll take it,” he smiled. “I’ll text you.”

“Alright, I’ll be waiting.” He kissed my cheek and grabbed his jacket to head towards the door. “Where are you going?”

“Home?”

“Not through the door you’re not.” The dumbfounded look on his face was hilarious. “what would I do if my parents walked in.”

“I’m fast, you know. Like supernaturally fast.”

“Mm, I’ve seen you. Not fast enough.”

“Fine,” he surrendered. “Keep watch of your phone.”

“I will,” I smiled. He took a step back and in the blink of an eye, he was gone. Brody got alerted by the sudden move and jumped off the bed to bark at the window, standing on his hind legs to prop his eye out. I joined his side and saw Derek standing normally in my backyard as if he hadn’t just jumped out of a two-story window. He waved and I waved back as he became a blur, vanishing before my very eyes.

I slumped down on my bed and ran my hands over my face. What was I doing? There were so many things that were pit against us. My 18th birthday was still a little less than a year away, he had something going on with Erica, my family and he are natural-born enemies, we are currently under the terror of a reptilian shapeshifting Jackson, and that was just scratching the surface. I couldn’t scrutinize why he would ask me out too much, it was probably not even in a romantic way. It could just well be that he wanted to keep an eye on me since I was new to this whole werewolf, Kanima, hunter thing.

A couple of hours went by where I took Brody out for a walk, finished what was left of my homework, and started watching a movie when my phone went off.

“Hey, I heard the good news! You’re staying in town.”

“Hey, Allison. Yeah, it looks that way.”

“Well then, I believe you owe some people an apology.”

“What could you possibly mean?” I scoffed. But she was right, as hard as it was to admit.

“Don’t act dumb, (Y/N). You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“I don’t like it when you’re right,” I sighed. “What do you think I should do?”

“I could invite them over to your house and you could apologize to them. They never object to free pizza.”

I was glad. Instead of sulking on the 'he likes me, he likes me not' nonsense, I prepared the house for Allison and her friends, the people I hope to win over. One by one they arrived at my doorstep. Scott, Stiles, Lydia, and Allison. I had put out some snacks and the pizza I had bought. Scott and Stiles were not shy about their hunger as they dove in right away.

"So, what's the purpose of this meeting?" Lydia asked, her usual cocky attitude on full show.

"Uh, well, I wanted to apologize for being such a bitch these past few weeks."

"Hm, understatement of the century." Stiles chuckled with his mouth full.

"Actually, she can be 1,000 times worse. That was just level 1 bitchiness."

"Point taken. But why would you apologize? We get it you don't want to be our friend."

"That's not it, it's just... ugh... Look, it’s honestly a very long story, but moving around it’s hard to cut ties and start over for so long. After a while it’s easier to builds walls up and maintain everyone at arm’s length." They all stared at me. Hopefully I was getting through to them. "But this time I'm changing that. I want to be your friend and that's why I'm apologizing."

"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I've always considered you my friend. I mean, I've considered Lydia my friend and she hates me."

"Oh, please, Stiles. I don't hate you, you're just, um.... special."

"I'll take it."

"We understand. And of course you're our friend, (Y/N). You were just too stubborn to notice." Scott smiled at me. "Now, is there more pizza?"

"How the hell did you two boys just finish two boxes of pizza?"

"We're growing?" Stiles said with his mouth full.

"Barely," Allison mumbled.

"You know I can hear you, right?"

"That's the point, Scott."

The whole room laughed and continued to enjoy a very pleasant afternoon. It felt weird to finally feel like I belonged somewhere; that there were people around me that cared for me despite my flaws. As I looked around the faces of the group that had welcomed me with open arms, I couldn’t help but feel that someone was missing; the person that had first accepted me.

The clock had hit 4 o’clock when the last piece of food was gone, and the gang had gone home. After cleaning up, I decided it was time to call Isaac. I didn’t like the person he had become after the bite. But I couldn’t say I didn’t understand. He felt confident, strong, but he was using the wrong outlet. Just like I was.

“So, you’re finally talking to me,” Isaac chuckled, a cocky tone to his voice.

“Only if you’re done being a douche.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ever since you turned into a werewolf you’ve been nothing short of unbearable with your cocky behavior and holier-than-thou attitude.” I could hear him shifting on the other line, the news taking him aback. It seems Derek hadn’t told his pack that I knew everything.

“H-how… who told you?”

“Derek, your alpha. He told me everything the other day. I know all about werewolves, kanimas, hunters, pack, blah, blah, blah. But none of that excuses your behavior,’’ I sighed. “So, are you done being a dick?”

“Maybe,” he chuckled. “Can I see you?”

“Sure. Why don’t we go grab a bite? I’ll pick you up.”

“Alright!” He sounded excited. “I’ll text you the address.”

After hanging up I decided to take a quick shower before leaving. I threw on a white t-shirt and jeans and paired them with my leather jacket. As I tied my boots, I reached for the keys of my dad’s Chevrolet Suburban. Hopefully, I didn’t crash. In the car, I typed in the address Isaac had sent me. It was an industrial loft not too far from my own home. I honked my horn to notify Isaac I was there as well as sent a text.

“Are you stalking me now?”

I jumped at the sound of Derek’s voice and the knock he left on my window. . He appeared like a ghost and leaned on my door. “I could say the same about you. I’ve never been here before.”

“I live here,” he laughed, pointing at the building. “It’s my loft.”

“I’m here to pick up Isaac,” I said sheepishly. “So, he’s been staying with you. I thought you live in the woods.”

“It’s my family’s house and it’s under my ownership, but it’s not under livable conditions. And, yes, Isaac has been staying with me.”

“Hey, Derek.” Isaac finally emerged from the doors and jogged up to my car, patting Derek on the back. The man’s expression rapidly changed as soon as Isaac joined the conversation. The playful smile he wore had been replaced by a menacing scowl. “We’re going out for a while. I’ll see you later.”

We said goodbye and as I drove off, I stared at Derek. His body was tense, and his jaw was clenched. He was angry, but I didn’t know why. When we were alone, he was a completely different person than what he showed to others. There was this terrifying façade that was impenetrable by everyone else, yet he was a completely different person with me; he was an Alpha to the others, but he was just Derek to me.

I parked the car at a small burger joint Isaac directed me to. It wasn’t too full, so our food came out quickly. We sat at a table in the back, far from any prying ears.

“So, what did you mean about this cocky attitude?” He popped a french fry into his mouth, playing around with his food. “You seemed quite mad about it. Mad enough that you avoided me for some time.”

“Ever since you transformed you’ve been carrying yourself like you’re above everyone, you don’t even bother to be respectful of teachers or anyone for that matter. I miss the old Isaac.”

“You mean the pushover wimpy kid?” He scoffed. “I can’t say the same.”

“That’s not what I meant.” My hand reached out to his clenched fist and his hold softened. “You were nice and respectful, and knew how to treat others because you knew how it felt to be mistreated. Of course, you could have done with more confidence, but that’s not what this is. It’s almost as if you’re turning into Jackson, heaven forbid.”

His eyes softened and I knew I was getting through the wall he had built up.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N). It's just… this is the first time in my life that I have felt powerful, like nothing and no one can touch me. I've dealt with so much shit that I thought I deserved to act like that," he sighed. "Can you ever forgive me?"

“You’re practically my best friend, how could I not?”

“Thanks.” He gave me a smile that I happily reciprocated. For the first time in a while, I was seeing the Isaac I had met some time ago. “So, what is it that you needed to speak to me so eagerly.”

“Remember how I mentioned that I would be moving at the end of the year so you shouldn’t get attached?” He nodded. “Well, it seems you’re gonna have to put up with me for a long time. Beacon Hills is now my home.”

“What?! That’s great!” He exclaimed a little too loud. Heads turned towards us and Isaac tried to hide his blush. “Does that mean we can truly be friends now? Not just study partners or casual conversation acquaintances?”

“Yes, Isaac. That’s exactly what that means,” I laughed. His face had lit up as the hard mask he wore finally broke apart. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you, what happened the night that I picked you up? It was such a weird night.”

His whole demeanor changed, clearly a sore subject to talk about. "If Derek told you what we are I presume he told you about everything else." I nodded. "The Kanima. It killed my father. We, um, had gotten into a fight and I ran out. It seems he went out looking for me but didn't get to me. I found him dead in his car, but I ran and called you."

" Isaac, why didn't you tell me? I mean, I know why you didn't tell me, but something; you should have told me something.” I looked into his eyes, worry evident in them. He had gone through such a traumatic event basically by himself. “Is that why the police were looking for you?"

He nodded. "They thought I had something to do with his murder because of something Jackson said. He was unfortunately my neighbor and had seen me running out of the house, but there were no tracks leading to me. I'm not a fugitive anymore." He smiled softly.

“I’m glad, Isaac, really. And I’m truly sorry for everything you’ve had to endure alone for all these years. You didn’t deserve it.”

“Thanks, (Y/N). At least that part of my life is over.”

“Now we just have to get that damn Kanima and get on with our lives.” We laughed.

Before we knew it, the sky outside had turned dark, signaling the arrival of the night. The car ride back was filled with mindless chitchat and soft background music. It had been a long few days and exhaustion was evident in both of us. Soon enough, the grey building had come into view.

“Do you want to come in for a bit?” Isaac leaned into the open window of the driver’s side.

“I think I’m just gonna head on home. I’m a bit tired and we have school tomorrow.” I smiled. “But, I’ll take you up on the offer someday.”

“Isaac, good to see you’re back,” Derek announced himself, his two betas following behind. “You’re late for training.”

“Sorry, Derek. Time slipped away.”

“Sorry won’t cut it.” His voice was commanding and a bit intimidating. I could see why everyone around me feared him. “Go with Erica and Boyd. Get started.”

'‘Bye, (Y/N). I’ll see you tomorrow.” I smiled and nodded, trying my best to comfort him.

“See you.” Derek stood back as we both watched the three figures disappear into the building. His chest moved, heaving, and he reeked of jealousy. “What’s your problem?”

“What?” Did he truly believe I was that oblivious? “I just…”

“You’re acting like a prissy child, Derek. You knew where Isaac was, who he was with, and that there was a possibility that he would come back late. There’s no need to grill him that hard.”

“He’s old enough to manage his time correctly, (Y/N). He needs to learn discipline. This has nothing to do with you.”

“Clearly, that’s not what’s happening here,’’ I laughed dryly. “Look, pardon the metaphor, but this whole alpha male act is gonna get very tiring, very quickly. If this is how you’re gonna be, don’t bother on scheduling that date this week.”

“Don’t be like that, (Y/N). I swear this has nothing to do with you. There are certain rules that we have to abide by, a different life. It’s complicated.”

“You’re not making any sense, Derek.”

“It’s hard to explain.”

“Yesterday we said no secrets, Derek. What changed in the hours that have passed?”

“Nothing’s changed. I’m sorry if I seemed too harsh on Isaac, but I have to be. They’re young and reckless, and it’s my job to make sure they stay safe. No matter the cost.” He ran his hands across his face as he let out a loud sigh. “Why don’t we just keep the supernatural and our personal lives apart.”

“We can try that for a while, but they’re bound to intersect at some point.”

“I know, but…”

“Let’s play it your way and see how it goes, okay? And lay off Isaac and the others? They are just kids.”

“I’ll try,” he smiled softly. “Text me when you get home, okay?”

“If I remember.”

I backed the car up and sped back to my house. When I opened the garage, my father was sitting on the spot where the car usually went. I had forgotten to tell them I would be gone, and my phone’s battery had died a while back. I was in so much trouble.

“Good to know you’re alive, darling daughter.” The sarcasm spewed from my father’s mouth, and it stung.

“I’m so sorry. I went out with a friend and my phone died. And I know I forgot to say I was leaving the house, but I rarely do that, so please forgive me.”

“Calm down, (Y/N),” he laughed. “We just wanted to make sure you were okay. You weren’t answering your phone, so we got worried. But remember, there’s a tracker on the car. We figured you were out. And I’m glad to hear you have a friend. It’s about time.”

“Thanks, dad.” He wrapped me in a hug and patted my head. If he knew who my friends were I’m sure he wouldn’t feel the same way. “But, if you knew where I was, what was this whole scary setup? I for sure thought you were going to kill me.”

“Nothing like that, honey. But your mother and I have something we have to talk to you about.”

“What is it? You can’t take back that we are staying.”

“It’s not that, but it is serious. Let’s go, your mom is waiting in the kitchen.”

My heart was beating at a rapid pace, a million thoughts running through my head. Although, at the bottom of my heart I knew what this talk was going to be about.

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