#at first i thought maybe it was just really bad constipation bc sometimes i get unsettled stomach and nausea from that

[werewolf4vampire]

oughhhh this stomach thing is really starting to freak me out

[dulcewrites]

do you think fmo djats aemond and reader would have stayed together/got married further down the line if he hadn't knocked her up? or was their relationship always meant to fail just like in other universes because as much as they liked each other (loved? or at least thought they did?), reader just wasn't The One in aemond's eyes? would he still not tell reader about catching feelings for someone else if daella wasn't in the picture or would it not even get to that point because they simply wouldn't last that long as an item?

I think if she never had daella, they probably would’ve been one of those annoying couples that come in and out of each other’s lives. Whether it be platonically or romantically. I can see their significant others at the time sort of resenting the other person bc of it (a reason why alys and Aemond didn’t work is alys sort of realizing it’s never gonna be her. Like he “chose” her and she’s still in a way second fiddle). Now obviously that could be compounded by having a kid with someone bc most people would want to have a good relationship with the father/mother of their child.

But yeah probably one of those off and on couples till one of them puts their foot down and stops the cycle. I think they love each other but sometimes that just… isn’t enough. him not even telling her something was up hurt more than the actual indiscretions. It’s similar to original recipe fmo in the sense that if Aemond would’ve been honest about his discontent with life, she would’ve at the very least heard him out.

BUT when I got this ask I did think about a universe where they like each other but do nothing about it.

There’s chemistry there but neither say anything

They stay in each other’s lives mainly through Helaena. Reader wants the band to succeed but so much of her desire for it came from Aemond (the person who really wanted it) and being his gf/wife/mother of his kid

Since they aren’t together, she kind of more indifferent. Like imagine a universe where she still goes to the same drag bar and sees/hears alys. But bc she doesn’t have she have anything wrapped in the group… she just goes about her business 😭. No convincing anyone to join the group

Who knows what this means for the trajectory of the group

I see reader in any universe for better or worse being a product of her environment/time. So she desires being kept/taking care of more than a love story. Especially since she hasn’t had a first love (Aemond). Plus her mom telling her that being secure, like she is, is better in the long run

Let’s say she ends up dating the lawyer or doctor type that her parents facilitate. She ends up marrying the guy. She’s not hopelessly in love but he’s a good guy and puts up with her

She invites the group to the stupidly expensive wedding. She finds Aemond on the balcony of the place they have the reception at. They share a cigarette. They talk about the good old days. Then he randomly is just like “you know I had the biggest crush on you when you lived with hel” (I think he knows what he is doing telling her at her own wedding)

One way this ends is reader just standing there finishing a cigarette and downing champagne bc like… what could’ve been if they both weren’t so emotionally constipated 😭. Maybe they were always doomed (ie our original modern scenario/fmo) maybe they weren’t

Now the messy ending is that years into marriage, reader is just so… unfulfilled. Her and her husband try for a baby that never comes. At this point she’s a stay at home wife, she’s not sketching/designing anymore. Just completely lost. Helaena is like, why don’t you come on the road with us for some weeks. Her husband thinks it’s an awful idea but nonetheless gives his blessing… bad idea in the long run

Reader and Aemond start an affair. The only thing that throws a wrench in it… reader gets pregnant. She’s always wanted a baby and now it's with a man that’s not her husband :(. At first, she’s like maybe if I go home, fuck my husband I can finesse this. Aemond basically says he will burn a city to the ground (wink wink) if she thinks he will let another man raise his kid. Plus reader is worried that baby will come out blonde 😭

So in the end, her husband divorces her. She’s heavily pregnant and going through it. Riddled with guilt and sadness. While Aemond is like I got the girl and a baby 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️. He probably tries to propose. Reader refuses serveral times.

Idk how this universe ends. They def co parent in the beginning. Maybe they get married when daella is like a toddler. maybe they don't. moral is they always find each other somehow

[hnychn]

𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅 [𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀]

summary : tsuki had always been the rational one between the two of you, but sometimes even he needs his other half to knock him back to earth

warnings : twin!reader, fem!reader, cursing, physically hurt/comfort, generally fluff, PLATONIC, tsuki & reader get into a fight, not edited at all

word count : 1600+

a/n : i was rewatching karasuno's match against shiratorizawa last night, and i thought about this so :) it's just general headcanons about being tsuki's twin and it gets specific when i bring up the match :) enjoy ( ´∀｀)

karasuno masterlist ~ haikyuu masterlist

-          contrary to popular belief, tsukishima is actually a really good sibling and an even better twin 

-          he’ll definitely make sure you’re taking care of yourself and eating and drinking often, especially if you have you’re involved in your own club 

-          he and yamaguchi wait after school for you too so you don’t have to walk home alone. tsuki says it’s because he doesn’t want your mom or akiteru to stress out over you if you get lost or something, but deep down you know it’s because he cares for you and doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you 

-          but, if you manage for the volleyball club, it makes his life a lot easier 

-          you definitely joined before yachi, right at the beginning of the year when tsuki and yamaguchi signed up for the team. you and kiyoko were quick to become friends, along with the third years (the only ones tsuki really trusted you around alone. pls tanaka nearly tackled you to the ground when you said you wanted to be manager had it not been for daichi grabbing his collar and tsuki pusing you behind him) 

-          tanaka apologised

-          do i really need to tell you why tsuki didn’t trust hinata and kageyama around you? 

-          you were the one to recruit yachi to be another manager as well. she was in some of your classes and you knew her to be a kind and work-driven person, so you asked if she wanted to sign up 

-         pls babes never stood a chance saying no to you

-         she was a blushing mess

-          (she highkey has a crush on you and tsuki knows it, but that’s none of his business) 

-          just like tsuki, you’re able to quickly analyze players and their movements and you also are able to think ahead and plan out attacks or defences with the information you’ve gathered 

-          so the coaches really like you :) 

-          during the training camp, you and tsuki got into a fight, y’know, as siblings do. and you’ve gotten into arguments and fights with each other in front of the others, so they weren’t all too worried and assured everyone else that it was normal . . . but then y’all started getting physical 

-          hurtful words were thrown without thinking, it’s normal, but tsuki went a bit too far with his words and you aren’t the type to cry and run away, so what did you do? 

-          you tackled that bitch :D 

-          so there you two were, fighting like kids over the last popsicle in the freezer, while everyone just stood there in shock at what the hell was going on in front of them 

-          the others were quick to pull you away from each other, and the managers led you away from your brother while the two of you calmed down. it definitely took you a while to calm down from the adrenalin high from tackling your 6’3 brother, but you eventually did and went back into the gym where tsuki was sitting on the bench.

-          the others tensed up when you walked over to him and sat next to him, thinking you were gonna start fighting again, but instead the two of you sat in silence for a while 

-         the other managers, who you’ve become great friends with, eventually got everyone to mind their business to give the two of you privacy to apologise or whatever 

-          and you did, because he’s your brother, and no matter how many petty fights (verbal or physical) you get into with him, he’ll always be your twin. your other half 

-          but that doesn't mean you'll never take his ass down again if he doesn't watch his words

-          bcs you will ˙ ͜ʟ˙

-          the two of you like to tease each other, i mean, this is tsukishima we’re talking about, if he’s going to tease someone it’s most definitely going to be you

-          now onto what spurred this whole headcanon >:) 

-          everyone was nervous leading up to the match with shiratorizawa and, despite him not showing it, you knew tsuki was too. you could tell in the way he got dressed a bit slower that morning and the way he ate less and drank more water. plus it’s just twin intuition, you could just look at him and know what’s up 

-          n e ways, the match is going on and you would have fallen over the railing of the stands had it not been for akiteru’s grip on the back of your jacket (who scared the hell out of you when he first showed up. “kei’s not gonna like you being here, nii-chan.”) 

-          so it’s getting intense 

-          you’re sure this single match has taken 50 years off your life

-          you’ll give tsuki a good slap when the match is over for it 

-          you cried a little when tsuki blocked ushy gushy’s spike, but you made akiteru and yachi swear not to tell anyone especially tsuki since he would tease the fuck outta you and you don't need that. 

-         and then (y’know where i’m going with this) tsuki just goes and fucks up his hand 

-       it was like you became the flash because you were down in the court in literal seconds (akiteru swore you jumped over the rails down onto the court, but . . . i guess we’ll never know ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ)   

The walk to the medical room was silent. 

You could hear the cheers and screaming from the main gym form where you were, the shrill sounds echoing down the hallway almost hauntingly. You cursed a bit when you felt chills run down your spine, because despite being wrapped in your karasuno jacket and an extra jacket akiteru brought, the short length of your skirt provided barely any warmth for your legs. 

From beside you, Tsukishima was silent, simply clutching onto his bleeding hand while burning holes into the polished linoleum floor. You had expected him to tease you about the glare you sent Ushijima when you jumped onto the court (said boy would later confess to his teammate that that had been the only moment he truly felt fear), or make fun of the way akiteru’s jacket seemed to drown you and made you look like a wet cat; but he didn’t. And his silence was more unnerving than anything. 

But you knew Kei. You knew the looks he was giving, the way his face seemed to relax and become more expressive when it was only the two of you, you could see his thoughts and worries as plain as day on his face. 

You were twins after all. You knew Kei better than he knew himself, you knew his attitude was nothing short of a direct result of your brother's lies and his worry was because he had finally gotten a taste of what volleyball was really like, and he was craving more. 

So, as the eldest twin, you did what you did best. 

You teased him. 

“Stop making that face, you look constipated.” 

Tsuki snapped his head over to you and scowled, “Shut up.” 

“No, you shut up, and listen well, Kei.” Your strict and monotone voice surprised him a little, he hadn’t heard you use that voice in a while, let alone with him; you were known as the nicer twin after all, “You need to trust that the others will hold their own. Have trust in your team to keep Shiratorizawa on their toes. You know them, you know they can hold their own and take some points. You’ve trained and practiced with them for a while now, Kei. You’ve seen their improvements and you’ve seen their hard times, have a little more trust in them. So stop worrying about what could happen while you’re not there and start thinking about what you’ll do when you get back, big head.” 

There was a silence between the two of you as the medic room sign came into view. You sighed a little as you shrugged in your mind, perhaps Kei was too deep in his thoughts to care about your words, but there was only so much you could do to convince him to relax a little. But before you could slide open the door to the medic room, you felt a little tug on the back of your (akiteru’s) jacket. 

Tsuki still looked down to the ground, but you could just about make out a small dust of pink on his cheeks, “thanks for that . . . y/n” 

Your eyes widened a bit and you nearly made a move to pinch yourself because on the way to the medic room you must have died and went to heaven or aliens must have burst through the window and taken you to an alternate universe where your brother, Tsukishima fucking Kei, was thanking you. 

You hands shook a little as you pulled Tsuki’s face down, pressing the back of your hand to his forehead and checking his body for other injuries, “What the fuck, are you sure it’s only your hand that’s injured? Did one of Ushiwaka’s spikes hit you in the head? I think you’re dying . . . yeah, that’s what it is. Maybe you should sit this game out Kei, you might start doing crazier things like tell me you love me or that I’m the best sister you could have asked for or-” 

“OH, SHUT UP!” 

You laughed as Tsuki pushed you into the medic room and ignored you as his hand was being bandaged up. Tsuki glared at you over his shoulder as you poked and prodded the back of his head and teased him further, but when he turned back around his glare softened. 

Tsuki was grateful for your presence. He was thankful you were there to keep his head on his shoulders and make sure he stayed focused on what really mattered. And out of everyone in the world, Tsuki was glad you were his twin - his better half. 

Not that’d he ever tell you.

-         so yeah :) 

-          tl;dr tsukishima is a tsundere and secretly loves you ˙ ͜ʟ˙

[swinterr]

fic rec vi ♡

hi!

this is a another new set of fic rec and i’ll probably do a compilation of genre (?) just like the first ones.

made some changes like tidying up a bit and adding summary, for those that doesn’t have any summary i’ll try my best to add my own summary (it will probably be shit tho, i ain’t making a smut summary guys, i’m not confident in my describing a fic ability but i’ll try my best. if its in italic it means i made the summary hehez )  if the summary is shit, i made it okay.

read and support the fic and authors here: the fic rec ♡

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

nct 

jeno

no title by @tyongf-nct | s

- smut blurb.

body guards and boyfriend by @pastelsicheng | f

-  sometimes the only way you can really get some alone time with your boyfriend is by making his job hard.

lipstick smears by @kopikokun | f

-  jeno never thought trying to get his makeup artist’s attention would be this hard.

jaehyun

[10:30] by @moonttaeil | 

- a lockdown moment.

[2:40] by @nct-jungjaehyun | f a

- cute quality fluff time with bf!jae with a dash of angst.

[11:41] by @jeongvision | f 

- family time with apples.

just like magic by @starryhyuck | f s

-  jung jaehyun’s body count is almost as high as yours. however, after yuta spreads a nasty rumor, you learn that jaehyun’s always imagined those girls to be you instead.

love to hate me by @moonctzeny | s a 

-  you and jaehyun meet as sm trainees, developing a friendship until he debuts and you decided to leave the company and pursue a solo career. when you reunite again in a music show and he acts like he barely knows you, you stubbornly begin a series of hate-brimmed sex rendez-vous. your touch-and-go relationship continues on, until a song collaboration will force you both to deal with all your repressed feelings for each other.

moving on by @ddeonghwaa | f a

- reader has been chasing jae for some time but when she moved on jae suddenly enter the picture.

sun&moon by @ppangjae | f a

-  asking jeong jaehyun to accompany you to your family’s 1-week christmas vacation as your boyfriend has its consequences. one can surely get through 1 week of pretending to be in love with an enemy, right?

snack run with a snack by @kopikokun | f 

-  on your usual movie night with the members, they assign you sudden snack collecting duty. you’re a little peeved, but at least jaehyun offers to tag along. Unfortunately for you, things really aren’t going in your favour tonight.

lover boy by @neoct-zen | f s

- bunch fics of lover boy jae and reader.

jungwoo

one more time, please by @haequarius | f s

-  you don’t know what you and Jungwoo are, but you are certainly weak for him.

jealous by @whiplashsan | s 

-  jungwoo is all smiles and sunshine until he gets jealous, and he just so happens to get jealous over the smallest things when it comes to you.

doyoung

sugar, spice and everything not nice by @alreadyblondenow | s

-  doyoung getting your ring size wrong, unprotected sex, kitchen sex, slight fingering, wedding tragedies.

no title by @ncteaxhoe | s

- dom!doyoung, rough? i need holy water.

the little one by @ethaeriyeol | f 

-  a gift of life; female reader x husband!Doyoung; fluff, light angst, married au

lucas

exquisite taste by @weishenkonbini | s f

- smut but with a fluffy ending.

for you always by @labyrinthsofyou | f

-  in which you surprise yukhei when he forgets about your date.

6:19 by @cozykpopblurbs | f

- a cute fluff ft kun and winwin.

10:18 pm by @nctsoftarchives | f

- reader supports lucas at his superm debut stage. 

16:47 by @sichengssmile | f s 

- a fluffy smut. lucas a big boi.

missed you by @tokyobts | a f

-  after you and yukhei broke up, yukhei still has feelings for you. he reaches out to you at school and tries to get you back. at first you avoid him but later his actions manage to make your heart flutter. you’ve come to a sudden conclusion that you maybe still want him in your life.

johnny

34 + 35 by @domjaehyun | s 

- you and your husband johnny decide to take your marriage to the next step.

i couldn’t wait a little longer by @alreadyblondenow | s f a

-  you two were never together longer than two days, but the feelings, oh the feelings that you have for each other is clear as the day. it was a never-ending try of making the relationship official. johnny tried, you tried but it never happens.

what happens in korea, not stays in korea by @alreadyblondenow | f s 

-  a week vacation in korea for your sister’s wedding became even more exciting when a famous dj had a crush on you. johnny was sure that it’s love at first sight. not putting both of your careers on the line, you two had no regrets when the time comes and you finally leave.

laundry day by @immabiteyou | s

- a domestic fluffy smut.

make a wish by @sluttyten | s f a

-  you’re jungwoo’s sister, and he’s made it clear he wants you and Johnny to have nothing to do with each other. so you and johnny start fake dating to piss him off.

want it all by @sluttyten | f s 

-  you are entirely innocent to the point of being naive. johnny is not innocent, but he loves that you are because it means he can teach you everything you don’t know.

sungchan

wish i was her by @softsungchan | f a 

-  you wished you were her, laying in Sungchan’s arms and feeling his warm breath on your neck, giggling about sweet nothings whispered into the starry night. You wished for it to be you, the girl he liked.

2:21 am by @the32ndbeat | f 

- sungchan being whipped, thru a text message.

haechan

14:52 by @ukiyoexo | f

- a cute haechan and reader ft the reader’s baby sister moment.

prince’s order by @nsheetee | f

-  prince haechan nurses you after you faint, and orders you to stay with him until you feel better.

sweet treat by @markresonates | s

-  haechan takes you for ice cream but all you can think about is sex with him.  when you act like a brat, eventually you end up in the bathroom. with no panties. 

clingy by @love-mi | f 

-  I’m not clingy! I just love your company and constantly want to be around you and have your full attention at all times

mark

hyuck is always right by @luvrenjun00 | f 

- ceo!mark x reader ft baby donghyuck. a tooth-rotting fluff.

taeyong

snow storm by @whereisten | f s 

- a fluffy smut whilst a snow storm.

1:59 by @smoll-tangerine | f

- reader and taeyong ft my favorite game (where i always die first) among us!

bts

taehyung

is this allowed 1 2 by @seokiie  | f s

- how were you supposed to know bts would be filming at your coffee shop today? how were you supposed to know a certain curly-haired boy would take a liking  to you?

cabin pressure | f by @jiminrings | f 

-  pilot!y/n who accidentally became famous bc of a viral post about her, best friend!jimin!, taehyung having a shy lil crush on you aND ot7 being meanies for a tad bit :((

art major!tae and biochem major!yn | f by @jiminrings | f

-  tae’s cold and probably needs a friend more than he needs a model, y/n feels this nEED to take care of him, a term of enderment then a dash of emotional constipation and a sprinkle of jealousy :D

gank mid lane by @kimtaehyunq | f s 

- gank / verb: (in a video game) use underhand means to defeat or kill (a less experienced opponent)

birthday surprise by @ephemeralkookie |

-  like every year, you prepare a little surprise for your boyfriend’s birthday, one that you’ve been preparing for days. and after a very tiring day, taehyung only wants to spend the night in your loving arms.

jungkook

cookies & cream | s by @1kook | f s 

-  jungkook will watch a thousand cheesy christmas movies if it meant making you happy. (and maybe having his dick sucked.)

unholy night | s by @ephemeralkookie | f s

-  after a christmas day passed with the Jeon’s family, Jungkook decides to transform the holy night into an unholy one.

‘a short’ abstinence | s a by @seokiie | s a

-  maybe blue-balling you boyfriend (who has an insanely high sexual drive) wasn’t the best.

in which she’s done with him by @minstrivia | a

-  jungkook angst/fluff where he always pushes oc away (who confesses her feelings but was cruelly rejected) and insults her but she always comes back to take care of him when he’s drunk or picks him up from his one night stands and she finally decides to leave him alone.

bad influence by @noteguk | s 

-  in which you know jungkook is a bad influence on you, but you can’t avoid falling for him every time.

jock!jk and shy art major!yn by @jiminrings | f

-  established relationship ft. jock!jk and shy art major!y/n, y/n gets an unexpected pep talk and jungkook doubts himself, and either so much tears or so much dUST according to kook

special affair by @1oserjk | f

-  sugar daddy au except it’s just jk spoiling u thru animal crossing

fairy of shampoo by @ironicarmy | f s

-  sundays are for relaxation, house cleaning, and happiness.

abstract ft bob ross by @mimithings97 | f

-  paintbrush in one hand, joint in the other and you sitting on his dick is what jeongguk wants. and what jeongguk wants, jeongguk gets.

badboy!jungkook by @jungshookz | f 

- badboy!jungkook falls for good girl reader ft the boys and the reader’s apple. 

growing by @lesgetittkookie | f

- dad!jungkook teacher his daughter how to walk. super super cute family/domestic fluff.

quiet, baby by @bratkook | s 

- i don’t how to write a summary on smuts so imma just put this. reader and jungkook doing something in the subway.

still want that by @whatifyoulivelikethat | s

-  fucking min yoongi ex-girlfriend? a terrible idea. being hopelessly in love with her at the same time? an even worse idea. knowing he was being used and still doing it anyway? ah, Jeon Jungkook, what are you doing? part 2 of savage love.

desiderium by @jeonggukingdom | f s 

-  “we’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still so horny?”. a newlyweds!au smut.

chapstick by @softyoongiionly | f s

- based on the time Jungkook said he needed someone to scold him so he’d remember to put lip balm on. or jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you. 

lover boy by @jingukk | f 

-  jungkook likes you. a lot.

unexpected confession by @sunkissedjk | f

-  you gathered up the courage to confess your feelings, but it seems everyone in school knows about it before you could even find him.

string attached by @ephemeralkookie | s

-  jungkook is what we can call your sexfriend. No strings attached, just you and him having fun and releasing the huge pressure and stress of being idols. But after spending an entire day together, you realize that maybe he’s not just your sexfriend.

no title by @himbojk | f s 

- dilf jk.

astro

eunwoo

ceo!eunwoo by @m0onbean

no title by @yutopiada | f

- a cute idol!reader and eunwoo moment at a music show.

disney by @bangchan-sonyeondan | f

- a cute date with eunwoo at disney. reader likes vintage things hence using a disposable camera.

baby, it’s cold outside by @fresh-outta-jams | f 

- a cute cold christmas fluff with eunwoo ft. the boys. reader went to the boys’ place for a sweater and cocoa gift exchange.

got7

yugyeom

cruel brothers by @imsarabum | f

-  jackson and jaebum have always acted as if they were your big, overprotective brothers. so when they both walk in on you and yugyeom in a very intimate position, things get a little tense!

txt

soobin

a special night by @gyuluster | f

-  an intimate insight on the first night of choi soobin’s wedding, consisting of kitchen floors, witches and an eternity of love.

boughs & branches by @jeogiyall | f 

-  decorating the tree with boyfriend! choi soobin from txt! fluffity fluff fluff with a lot of cute fluff thrown in and a dash of christmastime fluff. 

sleepy binnie by @immabiteyou | s

-  “i’ll let you do anything if you just touch me now. “ a sleepy soobin smut.

cake by @immabiteyou | s

- reading waiting for mc soobin with the guys. a cute fluffy smut moment.

kpop oc/s

seri by @ggukkiedae

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

support the fic and the writers!

[mythiccheroacademia]

Can we get hcs for Bakugo, Midoriya, and Todoroki (separately) falling in love with reader who takes no bs but is also kinda shy?

Reader Doesn’t Take Shit from Nobody

mtha thots: getting back into the swing of things! hopefully this was okay :’)

warnings: none 

Bakugo Katsuki: 

bakugo couldnt stand you

but he also couldn’t help falling for you

it’s a crazy concept for him considering how you two did NOT get along at first

you and him butt heads from the beginning

from day one of class, he was being a little shit and you just didn’t care for it

the moment he figured that out was when he was stomping down the hallways, pissed off about something 

he roughly knocked into your shoulder 

you didn’t know if it was on accident or not but you were willing to just let it go 

that was, until bakugo opened his big mouth

“watch where you’re going, extra!”

you: 🤨

he wasn’t expecting you, the quite person in class, to quiet literally buck at him and shout back

“watch where you’re stepping, punk!”

him: 😧

katsuki was too stunned to reply before you stalked off, steaming

from then on, it was like he had heart eyes in the angriest way possible 

there was something about you that got his attention 

you’d walk by and he’d go: 😡🤬❤️

sometimes, he found himself pushing his luck just so you’d talk to him—even if it meant threatening to kick him in the throat if he yelled at you one more time 

everyone thought it was a bit weird that bakugo was so admant on bothering you

you were kinda shy and didn’t talk much 

but they figured it was just how bakugo worked 

you thought the same 

so imagine your surprise on White Day (Valentine’s Day but for men) when you were cornered by the blonde hero

he aggressively shoved a box of homemade chocolates in your hand and shouted something about you still being annoying before stomping away 

like the emotionally constipated boy he was 

but despite everything, you still couldnt help but softly smile at the love note attached to it reading:

i still think you’re an extra, but i hope i can convince you to be my extra

Midoriya Izuku:

it’s in this boy’s dna to befriend the most intimidating of people 

despite the fact that he once saw you almost lose your life after cursing a certain explosive hero from hell and back again, he was hooked

call it love at first sight or something, bc this boy was basically struck by cupid’s arrow 

izuku found himself intrigued by everything you were

even though you didn’t take shit from anyone...

you were very quiet and didn’t talk to many people 

it was hard for you to make friends bc of it 

but that’s okay bc you were content with yourself

often times, you kept to yourself and just focused on your studies

it made you hard to approach but izuku was determined!

albeit, it took a long time before he actually spoke to you 

he was still a nervous bean

for a few weeks, he just watched you 

he’d watch you from the corner of his eye during class, blushing every time one of his friends would call him out on it 

his eyes were glued to you every time you used your powers

even when you did mundane stuff, he’d notice your tiny quirks 

and every day he’d find himself falling deeper and deeper for you 

it wasn’t until todoroki caught him doodling you in your hero costume that the dekusquad realized his feelings 

“you’ve got it bad,” ochako would tease

that turned into an hour long session of midoriya ranting about how to approach you and confess his feelings

“i heard talking to people works”

todoroki’s a little shit when he wants to be

but he’s also right 

mustering up as much courage as he could, izuku walked up to your desk before class

you were about to ask if he needed to go to the medical bay bc of how red his face was but he interrupted you with a flurry of words

“HELLO!i my name is izuku midoriya and i think you’re really cool and--w-wait i meant to say you’re prett--WAIT! okay. sorry. i’m--i mean i think it would be pretty cool if we like--oh geez this sounds so weird. i promise i’m not u-usally like this, i just thought i--”

the shock on your face melted into a gentle smile

“hi, midoriya. i’m [l/n] [f/n]”

and it was like your voice calmed the storm in his head

izuku’s cheeks were still flushed but he was able to return the smile as he felt his heart grow bigger

you really were beautiful 

“hi L/N. i’m midoriya izuku”

“you said that already”

bless his heart 😭

Todoroki Shouto: 

tbh, shouto hadn’t really noticed you in the beginning

granted, he was sorting through a lot of personal stuff 

but you were so quiet and shy that he sort of...looked over you 

(he did that to everyone so don’t take it to heart)

although, it was the opposite for you 

you noticed him from the first day of class

how could you not? everyone did 

he was the really strong really pretty boy that got in through a reccomendation AND he was the son of endeavor 

maybe he was kind of intimidating and a bit cold, but that didn’t stop you from admiring him

....and also developing a small crush on him that you’d take to the grave

bc, let’s be real, the chances of him returning your feelings were zero to none and you forced yourself to be okay with that

but things changed when you overheard shouto’s and midoriya’s conversation before the sport’s festival 

it absolutely broke your heart 

you kept it to yourself bc it wasn’t your business to go butting into his life

but when you were walking down the hall to find a bathroom and accidentally walked in on shouto and endeavor’s talk, you couldn’t help yourself 

endeavor immediately stopped and noticed the hard look on your face. when you didn’t bow in respect, he spoke up

“it’d do you well to show some respect to your elders, little girl/boy”

you stopped, looked him up and down, before walking off 

endeavor scoffed and went back to talking to his son 

but todoroki was shook

his heart literally went doki doki 😳❤️ LMAOO

the next day he asked for your name 

th following weeks he found himself sitting with you during lunch or studying for exams 

you got closer and closer to one another

you were a timid presence, but your sense of justice was strong

you didn’t take bs from anyone, including those that were above you and todoroki couldnt help but be intrigued

shouto didn’t realize it until it was too late, but one day, he woke up and felt this incredibly strong urge to be by you 

it wouldn’t go away for the longest time and only got worse every time he saw you 

it wasn’t until momo broke it down for him that he realized he fell for you

and he fell hard 

and although shouto was new to this, he wouldn’t miss the opportnity to see it through 

bc you were special to him and he’d be damned if he let you go 

Requests are closed

[kiss4kazu]

ooh! can i request something spicy?? maybe headcanons of claude, dimitri, and felix’s kinks?

spicy hcs | dimitri, felix, claude

this is combo between just kink hcs and also how first times being freaky w these three go hahhahahahhahah screams. this is not safe for kiddos so proceed with caution folks 

felix <3 

whew, okay. sweats. um 

so the first time u and felix do the do was definitely not planned. things tend to escalate a lot with felix when it comes to intimacy. pecks goodnight lead up to make out sessions and all of a sudden his hand is down your pants and you’re honestly not complaining. 

felix is definitely more of a giver than a receiver, not because he liked giving, but because he liked being in control. he liked seeing you writhe beneath him and all that jazz. 

he’d definitely deny you from reaching your high multiple times, partially to draw out the activity since you tend to come quite quickly beneath his touch but also because hearing you whine his name helplessly was a really big fucking turn on and he always swelled with pride knowing he was the only person who can turn you into a sobbing mess. 

felix has 2 moods. his soft and pliant types of fucking, and his arrogant, i’m big bad felix fraldarius and my cock is 30inches long type of fucking. he knows hes hot, he knows he has a pretty dick, might as well utilize it.

he hates praise when it’s ingenuine, for things intangible that he hadn’t earned himself. when it’s people praising him for his title or the power of a fraldarius battalion. 

but praise when it comes from you? when it’s you letting him know just how amazing he feels inside of you, how with every thrust of his hips your brain short-circuits and your eyes water with unspilled tears? when it’s you not being able to even form coherent words anymore because felix fraldarius is throbbing inside of you... yeah, that kind of praise. it does wonders for him and his dick. 

he’s also into hair-pulling

and overstimulation

hes also rly rly easily jealous like if someone else was making eyes with you or perhaps you were giggling a little too loudly with some handsome noble he’d just yank you away and march u up the stairs to his dormitory before kissing you hard 

he’s the type to make u beg and be rly possessive he’d just fuck you so ruthlessly hair stuck to his skin, panting “you’re mine. mine. say it” and u would just cry bc why tf he so sexy hello-

as mentioned in my kissing post, felix sucks the life out of you when he kisses you so it’s only logical that he fucks the life out of you too.  

im kidding ofc!! not rly

although he’s on the giving end of things, it’s still completely self-indulgent, felix gets off just knowing he’s getting you off because he’s a sexy narcissist like that. 

but on some days, he really really wanted you to know he cared a lot about you. 

felix isn’t the best with words, but he was really good with his tongue, so things usually worked out okay. he’d kiss you, everywhere. every inch of you, leaving hickeys in even the most visible places because who fucking cares. you were his, he needed you to know that. he needed everyone to know that. 

he can be sensitive sometimes too, make love, if you will. 

he has to be rly emotional tho, so it’s probably after something eventful happens in his life. like when the kingdom takes back fhirdiad, or wins the war. or when he’s sleepy and tired and wakes up hard and is just too lazy to put on his big bad scary persona. 

sleepy felix is submissive felix, aka my favorite felix. sleepy horny felix is all whiny and blushy and just wanted to come and he absolutely despised himself for it

you were well aware of how much he hated himself for being soft and needy, but that made teasing him all the more fun.

so yes, some nights felix would fuck you brainless and soak in the sound of your voice crying out his name helplessly. but on other nights, felix would lay down, his hair splayed against the pillow, your fingers twirling his locks and tugging gently as your other hand jerked him off, lips pressed against his as you breathed in his whines and grunts.

hearing him whine was a really rare sight, but it did slip out occasionally, when you squeezed the base of his member unexpectedly or when you took him deep into your throat and swallowed around him. felix really likes fucking your mouth. 

yeah felix is an emotionally constipated sex god 

claude ! 

whew lord. 

ok so claude, my sweet, cheeky, little shit <3 

the first time probs wasnt even intentional with him either he was just teasing you a little too much and things got a bit carried away but it’s a great time nonetheless

doing the do with claude is probably a rollercoaster ride, he would literally never shut up and would just say the most stupid things and you’d hate yourself for still being so desperate for his touch because somehow in between his terrible jokes and merciless teasing he whispered complete filth into your ears.

he’s a master of dirty talk, chuckling against the shell of your ear at the sound of you choking out a sob at his words, tugging at your earlobe just to spur you on even further. 

“don’t tell me you’re clocking out already?” you’d just glare at him in frustration despite your flushed cheeks and he’d kiss you on the tip of your nose and laugh in amusement at your misery 

he’ll literally do everything but fuck you, covering every inch of your skin in love bites, especially your chest. he’d literally eat you out or suck you off until you were dizzy but if you want him inside of you, he’d definitely make you beg. 

if you ever tried to get smart with him… um, he’d uh .. p-punish you 

not like in a pain kink type of way he’d just pull out right before you could nut and would laugh maniacally in your face afterwards because that’s what you get for being a smart ass ! denying u from coming is basically how he punishes u so its a pretty long night but claude’s really really good with his tongue so you’re guaranteed to come like 3 times at minimum anyways

he’d devour you, all smirks and with eyes filled with mirth and he wouldn’t give in until you were absolutely wrecked under him. 

he’s very um… dominant, i would say

but not an aggressive dom, definitely a playful dom who enjoys edging and teasing a bit too much 

he’s also pretty experimental, i can see claude as a bit of an exhibitionist also, he’d probably fuck you in the cathedral just for shits and giggles 

but he is human and despite how much of  a little shit claude is he’s just as wrecked as you he’s just much better at hiding it 

he’d probs quit the teasing once he himself can’t handle it anymore

and wow uh thats when claude gets all sensual 

when claude’s kind of in overdrive and completely uncoordinated just messily thrusting over and over again to finally get you both to that place thats when he becomes all romantic and lovey 

would compliment you to no amounts end, call you all sorts of pet names like honey, sweetheart, baby, etc. 

his messy curls would stick to his skin, his forehead pressed firmly against yours, verdant eyes blown wide maintaining eye contact with you just for that extra level of intimacy because watching you when you’re like this really drives him over the edge. 

he’d pant against your lips, kiss you roughly and somehow find it in himself to even let out an amused laugh because he’s having sex and that’s kind of funny for some reason

claude’s pull-out game probably a1 but idk he’s possessive in less conventional ways so i feel like he’d  get off to the thought of releasing inside you and watching him drip down your thighs bc yea

claude is also the king of aftercare let it be known

he’d have so much energy after sex for some reason like he’d just hop right up clean your bodies, fetch you tea if you wanted some and curl up with you resting on his chest, running his fingers over the skin of your arms tenderly and smiling softly to himself when exhaustion takes over you and you slip into a warm slumber against his chest. 

i love him bye

dima 

ok so dimi is a busy busy boy and even when he does have free time he’s never entirely there his mind is always kind of somewhere else u know 

he’s always struggled w getting a proper night's rest and always overworks himself into hysteria

so, as his lovely s/o, you presume a nice session to destress will help loosen those knots in his muscles and all that chaos whirring around in his mind

you were thinking a nice trip to the sauna or something

but dimi had other ideas 

 he’d just look at you and his gaze would darken all of a sudden and with just a glance at him you already feel the wind being knocked out of you 

it would be rly sudden, like dimitri’s just rly needy all of a sudden and he’s taking whatever you’ll give rly he has so much pent up stress and needs some form of release and he’s so so emotional and touchy and won’t stop kissing you with so much fervor and desperation

dimi is 1000% a lovemaker im sorry u cannot convince me otherwise. unless he is feral. if he is feral then understandable have a good day. 

he’s all about pampering and kissing every inch of you and asks every five minutes is this okay? are you comfortable? does that hurt? are you sure? because he’s terrible with fragile things and if he ever hurt you he’d never forgive himself poor baby

part of you just wants to grab his face and say !!! im fine !!! you big idiot !! but you just pull him to your chest and nuzzle your face into his neck and breathe him in deeply, kissing his jaw gently before reassuring him i’m fine dimi, stop worrying 

he’d calm down instantly and focus back on the task at hand, pleasuring the love of his life hehe

BODY WORSHIPPING non stop praises just kissing everywhere his lips come across you’d love it but hate it at the same time bc part of you just wants him in u already and the other half of u is just so so enamoured by him and feels so warm and loved and appreciated

he’s more of a giver than a receiver as well though for opposite reasons compared to felix, he worries about your comfort so much to the extent where it distracts him from his own pleasure, and it isn’t until he’s inside of you that he remembers and is like oh wow fuck and yea things dont usually last very long for him since he always neglects his own pleasure in favor of yours. he gets so focused on making u feel good because he loves you so much and he needs you to know that so yeah he doesn’t remember to even touch himself lmao 

you’d probably come like twice before dimi even whips his schlong out 

at the peak of his pleasure tho dimi gets kinda rough ngl. he’s a person whos very emotionally driven so when everything gets to be a bit too much he’s just slamming into you with so much force your skin stings, grip so tight on your hips there’s sure to be bruises in the morning but despite how rough he is his eyes are nothing but gentle and so so loving 

probably says something like oh seiros when he’s about to come LMAOOO 

dimi is also a king with aftercare but he’d probably knock out like a log afterwards and it’d be like the best sleep he’d get tbh all warm and satiated and just content

dimi sex god 

[caffiine]

A BRIEF PAUSE

From my regularly scheduled content. I’ve got some shit to say, y’all (forewarning for spicy language and spoilers)

I thought about making this post on my fandom subblog but this show and this relationship have been TOO important to me for the past 8 years to not give it its proper place in my life. strap in bc im not sure how long this mf is about to be.

When i started this DUMB show at age 19 tortured soul “empath” dark academia me thought sam winchester was going to be my favourite character. and don’t @ me, i love sam now in his own right (and we deserve some SAILEEN PEOPLE). but after literally less than 5 episodes i KNEW dean’s character and his arc were going to be amazing and beautiful and he immediately became my favourite brother. The nuances of his character i.e. his shell vs his true self were so evident to me even in the first couple seasons. in my humble opinion, he had the most growth of the two brothers.

They all deserve to be happy, but for whatever FUCKING reason dean has the HARDEST TIME OF ANYONE being happy in this show. I know it’s his character. I know it was written that way. But FFS.  I kept wondering when they were going to wrap up his emotional arc and stop torturing the poor dude.

then in season 4 they introduced castiel and 1) I thought the new concept of angels as assholes was super cool and 2) I hardcore SIMPED over misha collins (still do). I watched benignly as cas and dean began to form this relationship that seemed pretty special. I started watching the show when it was in its eighth season and I binged the shit out of it for two weeks until I was caught up. By the time I was caught up I was CERTAIN there were some feelings between them and I LOVED it. I am bisexual and I was ECSTATIC for a potential queer relationship between two masculine-portrayed dudes. I went on tumblr to express my newfound theory, only to find out that this was a real THING. “Destiel” was already an idea that had absolutely and intensely BLOSSOMED in the fandom  for several seasons already. So many others saw what I saw and saw the potential of emotionally tortured/constipated “daddy’s blunt instrument” dean and the unfeeling daddy’s boy cas “crack in his chassis” Winchester being allowed to be happy together. I felt validated and hopeful. For a while.

Then it was season after season of hopefulness for them to be finally happy with each other while still fighting the ills of their world with sam and the other new members of their family that were added along the way, only to constantly have that hope seemingly teased away at the end every single time. By season 11 and the introduction of amara (not bashing, eventually loved her character and her development too) I gave up. I lost hope. I stopped watching the show. I didn’t want to keep watching my two favourite characters continuously abused by the story they were thrown into.

I know not everyone likes destiel, not everyone thought it was real. That’s chill, idc. Stories are so often meant to be (and sometimes inadvertently) left up to interpretation by the person experiencing and consuming them. It’s what’s so amazing about books and shows and movies that are able to make us feel so intensely about them and their characters. And I felt SO strongly about dean and cas. It was honestly really upsetting to me, the way the show was going with their relationship.

A while later season 13 had been going on and I started seeing some things pop up on my dash. Hopeful things. I did a bit of research and accidentally saw THE SCENE from season 12 and I couldn’t help myself. I restarted it. I watched the whole thing from the beginning again AND introduced it to my boyfriend I think partially as a way to ensure I wasn’t imagining shit (it took him awhile and a lot of me internally screaming during many scenes but by season 9 he was like “uh are they in gay love”). Fast forward to me finally catching up as season 14 was starting. I was still hopeful, somehow. And it happened AGAIN. Season 14 and the beginnings of 15 made me so sad. I HATED what they did with their relationship. I HATED the way it ended. I HATED the way dean treated cas and everyone around him. It felt like the show was taking his whole character arc back to day 1. I didn’t understand. I kept watching for a couple episodes after the big argument and cas left but the luster was gone and eventually I just stopped.

I love this show. It has meant so much to me as a story. So many of the characters are/were very dear to me. I know it’s a running joke with this show about character deaths and homophobia but the strength of the bond I felt was between cas and dean gave me a lot of hope. But it wasn’t enough. I felt betrayed one too many times. And for those of you who kept watching, for whatever reason, I don’t hold it against you. It’s still a beautiful and interesting story without cas and dean’s relationship. But I just personally couldn’t do it anymore.

I hadn’t planned on watching the rest of season 15 when it came back after pandemic hiatus, at least not for awhile. So imagine my FUCKING surprise when I was doom scrolling through twitter during election week on Thursday and I see supernatural trending right along with election shit.

What.

I couldn’t stop myself, I looked and literally SCREAMED and made my boyfriend spill his wine all over our couch. I didn’t know exactly what happened as I hadn’t seen the episode but APPARENTLY all my emotions and feelings had been at least partially vindicated. So I BOUGHT season 15 so I could finish watching where I had left off. I watched 8 episodes in less than 24hrs (don’t judge me there’s a quarantine) and I LIKED them. And it might’ve been bc I knew what was about to happen in 15 x18 but I really felt like the show was getting STRONGER as it neared its finish.

I was so excited for 15x19. I read so many posts from fellow fans, destiel and antis alike. There really weren’t a lot of bad emotions running around. Everyone seemed hopeful and excited like me.

I probably don’t need to go over 15x19 emotions but im going to anyway. I was disappointed. I was confused. I was angry. we are in season 15. The last season ever for this show that has had a HUGE following of fans who have loved it, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes even though it wasn’t the best (and sometimes less than good). A season and show that had just announced YES. CAS LOVES DEAN. ITS REAL. And I shouldn’t have to go over the nuances of why we would expect more after this, with two episodes to go before the show is done forever.

But I will bc im mad af.

Like I said in the beginning. Dean’s character arc has been incredible. His emotional growth – as subtle as it might’ve seemed – has been amazing. And dean has always been an emotional, loving person. he just felt like he wasn’t because the world made him feel that way. And that’s sad, y’all. Dean deserves to realize he DESERVES happiness. And in 15x18, we were finally heading basically directly there. With destiel, yes, but even if you’re anti, what cas said to dean about who he is and why he loves him obviously struck a fucking chord with dean. It obviously changed the way he viewed himself (RE: “that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are”).

But for WHATEVER reason that’s ALL we got in 15x19. One fucking SENTENCE about dean realizing maybe he’s not just built to kill people. And then jack leaves without a single mention of Eileen or cas or Charlie or literally anyone they ever cared about and dean rode off into the sunset alone with his brother while we watched a fucking FIVE MINUTE MONTAGE that made me want to hurl my own body into the sun they were driving toward. And cas is STILL DEAD.

BUT THERE’S STILL ONE EPISODE LEFT AND FUCK ME IF I HAVENT BEEN PAINTING ON MY CLOWN MAKEUP ALL WEEK. SO WHAT DO I WANT????

ONE: DEAN DESERVES HAPPINESS. REAL HAPPINESS. What the FUCK supernatural??? Wasn’t this the whole point of his arc??? And don’t get me wrong I REALLY want that happiness to come from Cas and a real spoken relationship of some sort between them bc it also ties in with my second point but tbh just PLEASE let dean be happy. Dean is a loving person and does everything for love as we JUST FOUND OUT. Dean would NOT be happy with everyone he’s ever loved gone for the rest of his life. I just don’t believe that’s fucking true. h elp him pls.

TWO: CAS DESERVES HAPPINESS. I know we got this whole speech about “happiness isn’t in the having it’s simply in being”  but like. Really. Castiel was supposed to be a throwaway character no one was supposed to care about. But we all cared SO MUCH that he lasted 11 SEASONS longer than intended and became a main character and an integral part of the story. Cas has arguably sacrificed more than anyone on this show. His last act was to sacrifice his life to save the man he loved. He knew where he was going. He knew he was finally going to be able to tell dean he loved him and then immediately be taken by the empty where we know now thanks to season 15 that everyone in there just gets to dream forever about their regrets and sadness. HOW IS THAT FAIR. HOW IS THAT A GOOD ENDING FOR CAS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE – CHARACTERS AND FANS ALIKE –TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Its messed up, supernatural. Y’all KNOW it is and I hope to HIGH HEAVENS this is going to be corrected in 15x20.

THREE: give sam Eileen back. 

Well that’s all I’ve got in me, folks. I’m absolutely and intensely dreading Thursday. Im scared and nervous and obviously still angry that this is absolutely going to be the opposite of what they promised – another “game of thrones” ending. Some of y’all are giving me hope with your posts about maybe they’re trying to keep the ending a surprise and maybe cas is coming back and how can they not and why else would they have done the second to last episode like that and I hope yall are right.

Either way, im glad I am not alone with my feelings. Thanks yall for the experience of this fandom and show. Let’s stick together on Thursday, no matter our differences.

 PS stop calling jensen ackles a homophobe or ill hex you. 

[kuronekonerochan]

The laziest compilation of thoughts about the mess that was Alice (spoilers)

I finish a lot of shitty dramas. Like a lot. I could review them, but I won’t bc there’s too many and I’m too lazy (when you ff some dramas from 45min to 5 per episode it doesn’t really count as watching too many dramas bc it’s really a commercial break, lol). Some I watch for the so bad it’s good content, or love hate watching or just to have something to watch while I eat, even if they’re boring af. It’s also a tiny bit of ocd bc I need to see how they end (even the ones I drop I check out the finale). I only drop the ones that as Marie Kondo says *Do Not Spark Joy, more specifically...annoy me and make me cranky.

I sometimes bitch about it on DMs with ranty spoilers without structure and that reference other unrelated dramas or shows, because ADHD and my mind refuses to stay on topic, which would make it probably unintelligible except if you are in the niche who happens to have watched the other unrelated dramas, so it’s probably useless as a review.

That said, here are some random disconnected thoughts about Alice.

MAJOR SPOILER ALERTS BEWARE

(this is like partly copypaste of DM rants bc I am that lazy biatch. Also, fair warning I will seem super harsh or this drama because that’s the thing about a bitching dm versus a proper review... I am not bringing up all the points and talking about the good and what I liked as well as the bad, it’s just the bad...and although the drama is imo a mess, it does have some good in it. So if it were a review I’d always argue pros and cons...ranty thoughs who cares about pros? boring..I will not be bothered with devil’s advocate).

This was fascinating to watch, interesting but not good... but like a trainwreck.

I continued watching this mess despite the headache inducing convoluted plot (I watched a lot of timetravel stuff and I love it...encompassing all the theories about it, from butterfly effect, to effectively changing the future (with characters forgetting it or keeping it in memory because “eye of the storm” theory, the “efforts are futile and you can try to change it but the future is set in stone”, to “small changes can be made but big events are fixed points in time”, to “every change creates a new time line” and multiverse, etc... and trust me, all of them can be done well when well written or turn out a confusing illogical mess and that has nothing to do with the theory chosen, but with presenting how time travel works for that story and what the basic rules are and sticking to them...or when something happens that contradicts them, come up with an explanation as to why that happens.

 I don’t mean the drama should be an exposition borefest with too much pseudosciency jargon...but this drama gives you too little in the way of rules and the viewers sort of figure out how timetravel works (which is not bad per se, huge fan of show don’t tell...but there’s a limit to how much they cannot tell or the characters chose not to ask just for the sake of plot and not without any logic to it). Anyways, the little “rules” that we gather along the way...the writing doesn’t stick to them and keeps contradicting itself without addressing or explaining it and hoping we’re so confused we don’t notice. Some dramas you just say “eh, forget it, it doesn’t make sense, let’s turn off our brains and enjoy it”, but here if I wanted to try and follow what was going on at all it required “brain on” mode for their convoluted plot twists...which also made me aware of so may plotholes the time road should have looked like Swiss Cheese. I could go into them...but I cannot be bothered and the list would be extensive and still incomplete, so I will just put 3 here bc I can’t help it:

 1) Hot Daddy with emotional turmoil the entire drama of “Oh no, I abandoned her in 92 and regretted it, it happened 1 year ago for me, and now I find out she died in 2010. How was she, did she suffer? What did she know? Oh god, if only I were a time traveler eventually going rogue who could show up and talk to her any time in the timeline between 92 and 2010...Alas, I have to live in misery with the consequences of my actions...there is just ABSOLUTELY no way of solving this. I guess I’ll just keep making unauthorized time travel journeys from 2050′s time agency back to the year of 2020 and only 2020 to constantly be blindsided by murder attempts on everyone everywhere without having a clue to what’s going on when I could simply go back to before 2010 and talk to the one person who is proven to know what is going on.” Here is where there could be a bullshit reason as to why he could go only go to 2020 and not before, but the drama didn’t even bother.

 2) They say Tae Yi’s mom was originally a time traveler who settled with her physicist dad in the past, eventually making way for her to discover time travel herself. The mom is missing and this is never addressed again. 

3) The book...who wrote it? Because I have guesses but they never outright answer it... and if the biatch author knew that stuff why the alice in wonderland stupid analogies?

 Coward, or petty, or both.... or maybe just a chaos gremlin godlike entity who wanted to watch them all squirm, like the author from Extraordinary You...and that I could get behind, but sadly they don’t go that metaphysical/theological with the plot...which is honestly the main problem with this drama. It seems ambitious in concept but it’s never explored decently in any way, not in the pseudoscience, not in the philosophical sense of the meaning of time/space/existence, not even in its relationships, with the constant back and forth and weirdness of it.

Besides the timetravel migraine, we had the weirdest directing, that made the relationship between the leads feel a bit too incesty...which was the main reason I kept watching this drama...morbid curiosity of how they wrapped up this mess of a plot AND especially the relationship payoff...would it keep being weird with trope romance drama scenes like the female lead and second female lead facing off and being jealous, or that weird hair washing that felt more sensual than maternal? I knew it wouldn’t happen but my inner chaos gremlin wanted kdramaland to grow some balls and go full “predestination: oedipus edition” with this mess. Alas they sort of did, mostly didn’t. Even that angle was a whole inconsistent mess: there were times where it felt too romantic, then for a short minute I misguidedly shipped the journalist friend, then it seemed the dude was ace, then they calmed their tits with the whole weird romantic vibes and it got platonic cute, then with the memory merge thing finally motherly vibes, then I shipped the journalist again for 1 sec only...and then the ending:

Alice ended with the lead solving every problem by shooting himself (technically) in the head...and that's the second meta perfectly fitting ending for a drama with a good cast and terrible writing that drove itself into a corner this year, after the sleepless princess ended with the leads jumping off a cliff. I don't think it's a self aware choice of the writers, or an admission that they themselves know it was bad, but the irony is delicious.

Spoiler for the ending: he undoes timey wimey stuff from when his mom first got killed in high school and closed the time travel door. So he became an architect and new Tae Yi just woke up in her bed remembering everything, but in reality she had just come back from a conference abroad and had never met him. So mom TaeYi didn't die then, but never got back on screen after the time undo so who the f knows what happened to her. 

Also, if new Tae Yi remembers, does that mean hot daddy from the future does as well, but he is just stuck in the future without a time door to ever see them again? The drama doesn’t care answering that and forgets his character is even a thing...I will miss you, my fave who looked emotionally and literally constipated 24/7 (it doesn’t care answering much at all tbf... a little known fact about the time travel paradoxes according to the physics of this world is that besides doppelganger chickenpox it induces severe lazy writing).

Anyways new Tae Yi went looking for architect (? okay...I guess) ML after she woke up, at first he didn't remember her, but it ends with him meeting her, apparently remembering her and they stare at each other... you know, like any bad traditional romantic kdrama finale....so there is still THAT vibe. 

Honestly, the usual romantic ballad score for scenes between the leads WAS NOT the most intelligent choice for this drama in specific but boy did they stick with it (not to mention the ending song... that goes, in english “we be like Bonnie and Clyde we ride or die...which...k, sure)...so technically the ending was exactly the cliche post amnesia running back to each other and staring for the final scene while romantic music blasts trope. Take it as you will.

[divine-motion]

don’t fucking interact if you ship t/cest and minor/adult ships

more shitty phone photos of sketchbook sketches for my tmnt fan incarnation/tmnt 2012 rewrite bc i have no shame and i’m having fun with it! pictures should have captions since i spent time writing them out, but tumblr might mess it up, so in case captions doesn’t work: 1. left to right: leo, donatello up, raphael down, michelangelo 2. Casey Jones up top, April O’Neil to the right, donatello in the middle and karai at the bottom 3. casey and don again, raphael to the left, mikey at the bottom just bc i liked how their their expressions turned out and didn’t want a bunch of negative space so don and case appear again 4. size chart featuring turtles. left to right: leo, don, mikey, raph 5. sketchy Slash design. big boy.

general thoughts character stuff below the Keep Reading. A Lot of rambling below so beware!!

April: 15 years old, trans and bi. local fifteen year old telepath finds out that not everyone is able to feel what other people are feeling, something she’s been able to do since she was six after she played in that one weirdly glowy puddle (early Kraang mutagen attempt that only managed to mutate April in the sense that it gave her telepathy, was originally intended to make humans become part of the Kraang hivemind). she’s largely unfazed by the existence of mutants and aliens, taking it in stride, and finds out about the Kraang - and meets the turtles - while snooping around TCRI business (aspiring journalist that she is) and accidentally witnessing the mutation of Snakeweed. her telepathy, which later as she grows in power alongside the turtles extends to telekinesis and basically possession, is very useful whenever she gets into a scrap since she can predict what moves her opponent will make, thus letting her dodge their blows effectively. personality wise she is a very determined and driven young girl, incredibly curious (and cannot mind her own business, she wants to know all the drama while not having to be part of it... which makes her very fortunate to be a telepath. listen she’s 15 she’s allowed to misuse her powers a little bit. as a treat.), playful, and cheerful, and she’s an extroverted autistic. in her spare time between her studies, she likes to play bass, sing, read, and write. that, and investigating whatever shady business is going on in town, and she makes it very clear to the turtles that even if they weren’t going to deal with the Kraang, she’d continue to try to stop them herself. she would like to not live under the threat of her or her loved ones getting mutated, thank you very much! and, you know, it’s kind of exciting. kind of.

i know it’s bc i have brain issues when it comes to parent figures but i am very much leaning towards Splinter not being... a good dad. i don’t think 2012 Splinter is a good dad anyways but i’d probably amp it up, make him a mix of 2012 and idw probably. i’m still mulling it over but like, remember in the season 1 finale when leo is watching his show and thinks the captain guy making a totally unnecessary sacrifice is a heroic move, and then Splinter tells leo (his fifteen year old child) that leo should know what or who to sacrifice, more or less telling him to sacrifice his brothers’ lives, potentially?? i know there was a lot at stake but hello??? i remember watching it and being like me: ah i see, this is showing that splinter is wrong and there is no need for any sacrifices as seen in the show when the captain Goes Down With His Ship for no reason other than just sacrificing himself, and leo will see that- leo: *tries to sacrifice himself twice in the finale, both times being kind of unnecessary/seemed like if he had just hurried or done something slightly different there would be no need to stay behind, and he gets out fine with no consequences, seemingly no injuries, and does Not learn anything, his brothers don’t even get sad when they think he died or get mad at him for pulling such a dumb move) me: surprised_pikachu.jpeg

like that moment haunts me. has any other splinter told their sons to sacrifice himself or his brothers? has any other splinter put that on them??? idw doesn’t count if he has bc he’s more explicitly supposed to be bad so???

sometimes writers think they’ve made an uncle iroh but they really, really, really haven’t. also his backstory is the same as in the show

anyways. Donatello: 15 years old, bog turtle, nonbinary (he/they, doesn’t mind being called brother but doesn’t like to be called “boy” or “girl” or whatever), bi. he isn’t in love with April. no creepy incel shit here. donnie is instead more like a mix between his Rise and 2003 self. he has trouble expressing himself and is pretty introverted, but he is very altruistic, kind, and compassionate. a lot of his inventions are made to help people and he was driven to learn about science and engineering because he wants to find a way to reverse splinter’s mutation, to give splinter his life and humanity back. he feels like he needs to know if splinter would just abandon them if he wasn’t a huge rat man, needs to know if there’s any part of splinter that blames them for being constant reminders of his mutation. other than that, he also likes to make inventions because he’s a dreamer and wants to experiment to see how much of the unknown he can push beyond. also, the best liar out of the turtles. also fairly good at compromising and prefers to solve conflicts without violence he can get a little... “obnoxious 15 year old genius” at times. even when he’s helpful it can come off as a bit “poor dear isn’t as smart as me”, and while he usually gets along well with Raph, he doesn’t handle Raph’s temper well at all (calls him “Wrathael/Wrath” and thinks he’s being super clever) and gets really dismissive of Raph’s “outbursts”.

Michelangelo: 13 years old, diamondback terrapin, unsure about the gender and sexuality thing but he doesn’t think he’s exactly cis and definitely not straight. a bouncy ball of sunshine and surprising emotional maturity and emotional intelligence! more so than his emotionally constipated brothers, at least. it’s on his thirteenth birthday (it was leo’s idea for them to pick dates that would let them have their own birthdays instead of sharing the “Mutation Day”, Mutation Day being another special “holiday”) that the Plot would be set in motion, as he’s finally allowed to go to the surface same as his brothers, and on this first night out they meet April and the Kraang and other mutants. he is a goof still, but he’s capable in his own right and gets frustrated when people treat him like a baby or an idiot because he’s not. he doesn’t always treat everything with the seriousness it should but like. he’s thirteen, he’s having fun. even so, he’s very insistent of taking responsibility whenever he does do something wrong and gets mad if someone tries to take the blame for something he’s done. definitely the most compassionate and empathetic out of the turtles, he’s quick to make friends and is very persuasive due to his earnest nature and good heart. much like donnie, he prefers to solve conflict without violence but does enjoy knocking skulls a lot more than donnie. unlike donnie, though, he is almost overly forgiving and not petty at all. he’s well aware that his kindness and forgiveness may be taken advantage of, but he still likes to approach people with an open hand, even if he knows that it may end up getting bitten. oh, and his hobbies include drawing, cooking, singing, and dancing. he likes to express himself!

Raphael: 14 years old, mississippi map turtle, trans, bi. all his fury is compressed within his tiny body, that’s why he’s so angry all the time! no, he’s not angry all the time, but he does have a short fuse. he absolutely hates his anger issues which leads to a lot of self-loathing, and a lot of frustration as his family members either don’t take his anger seriously or don’t have the tools to help him with it. he’s the physically strongest out of the bunch and the least agile. he loves animals and plants a lot and keeps a lot of flowers in his room, hoping that he can one day become a gardener. as his idw self, he wants to watch things grow, but no matter what he does he seems to be best at destroying things. he’s also the one most self-conscious about how the human world perceives them, as he greatly fears rejection, and is the first one to see something positive with people getting mutated - namely, that maybe this way mutants will be more well known and finally accepted by society, so he’ll no longer be trapped in the sewer until the end of his days. so yeah, he’s a huge optimist, in truth. also he’s great at knitting - great at creating and taking care of things in general - and there’s no leo and raph rivalry this time around. he can get mad at leo but not really more than he gets with his other brothers.

Casey: 15 years old, nonbinary (they/them), bi. teen vigilante who gets inspired to fight mutants and the big time criminals (no beating up pickpockets or shoplifters or whatever, just the ones that are really hurting people) and gets roped into the turtle fam after meeting raph and becoming unexpected friends (everyone was expecting it, once Casey realized that mutants are people and not weird monsters. well, not all the time, anyways). they struggle a bit in school not because of a lack of trying but a lack of time, as their parents work full time jobs and someone has to take care of casey’s little sister. their parents are very loving, but they only have so much time, so casey takes it upon themselves to take care of their little sister when their parents are busy and/or burned out from work. that, and they run into the classic dilemma of vigilante work clashing with school work. as always, they have a short fuse, they’re pretty cocky, they like beating ass, and they like hockey a whole lot. hockey, vigilante work, school, and taking care of their little sister... yeah, they have a lot on their plate. oh, and making their little inventions like the taser glove and their puck bombs, something that they bond with donnie over.

Leonardo: 17 years old, Central American wood turtle, trans, gay. he doesn’t fall in love with his sister oh my god. ahem. so, leo is raised from the start to be a Leader and has to mature very quickly, learning to be an adult way earlier than he should’ve, and as such he is very stoic and quiet, and doesn’t seem to have any hobbies, instead just doing chores and training almost constantly, and when he’s not doing that he’s reading or sleeping in his free time. he’s incredibly protective of his younger brothers and his other allies/friends, even if he acts distant and detached most of the time, and removes himself from situations where they’re having fun to not be the stick in the mud. he loves his brothers and admires them greatly, believing they could be So Much if the surface world would just accept them, and as a result he tries to be The Soldier so his brothers won’t have to. alas, they still get caught up in the Kraang and Shredder business, which frustrates him internally. he is the best fighter out of the turtles on account of having more years to train (and convincing Splinter to wait a few more years before they got Real training bc Come On Dude They’re Kids) but it’s the Only thing he’s good at, along with stealth and his sharp eyes. he absolutely sucks at talking when it isn’t about a mission or something he can script easily in his head. in his mind, he’s supposed to be more of a weapon than a person, an idea that isn’t exactly encouraged by Splinter... but not exactly discouraged either. his arc would be very paralleled with Karai’s, as they would both learn to hate their dads... also, absolutely down for murder, and a lawful neutral at best, putting his family and friends’ safety above all other things and following a strict personal code. doesn’t care too much for society’s laws, though.

Karai: 16 years old, demigirl, lesbian. same backstory as in the show, she’s born as Miwa but gets taken by Oroku Saki and raised as his daughter. however, she doesn’t exactly want revenge against Hamato Yoshi because she believes that he killed her mother. she never knew her mother, so it’s much more difficult to hate someone for taking her mother away, even if it does mean that she never got to know her mother. especially since her father rarely spoke of what her mother was like, and much more about how much he hates Yoshi. instead, her need for revenge is more for the possibly idyllic life she was robbed of, since she believes that maybe, just maybe, her father Saki would’ve been a kind father that would’ve let her have a normal childhood and not be molded into a warrior from the start if her mother still lived. and hey, maybe Tang Shen would be a nice mom too. being trained in the art of deception, Karai has a tendency to talk a lot and say very little, or at least very little that is true. she is rarely ever sincere and acts as if she’s taking nothing seriously, which is part of her defense mechanism to never let anyone close or see her true self. she mocks pretty much everyone, ally and enemy alike, but especially likes to make fun of her father’s henchmen and is always the first to point out their failures. while she does value honor to some extent, she is a bit “flimsy” when it comes to loyalty, especially after the truth about her father is revealed. when that is revealed, she at first just feels very numb, learning that not only has she been nothing but a tool and a weapon for the Shredder from the very start, but also that the idyllic fantasy where her mother still lived, perhaps her life wouldn’t be so different after all. she looks at leonardo and sees a reflection of herself, that her “real” father chose to train his sons the same way the Shredder trained her. she feels stupid for feeling like she’s been robbed of even a fantasy, but it still enrages her. of course, this also inspires her to stay with the Foot Clan... just to get the kill on Shredder.

... yeah. that got long. ahem. i’m very passionate about this unfortunately!! anyways i might draw/write more for it because no one can stop me and i’m having fun

[noblechaton]

happy new years dudes! 

this post is a sort of run down of my last year or so and rlly it’s just me rambling about my (sometimes gross, warning to all gross-haters out there (like me)) health issues so feel free to look past this

2020 was probably the single hardest most stressful year of my entire life so far and while some reasons are uh. kinda obvious. it sort of especially crunched down on me as it was the first year of my life where I had a persistent health problem for the entire duration

back near the end of 2019 (october 19th I think) I noticed this weird pain in my chest and it scared the heck outta me when it didn’t go away after a few days so I managed to get to go to the doctor for the first time in maybe an actual decade? to try and sort it out bc like on one hand my habits were(/are) bad and the day beforehand I’d been running on a horrid amount of sleep and my only food was bad fast food stuff for breakfast and dinner

anyway the appointments started coming after that as test after test cleared me of. well. anything. there wasn’t really anything weird found after a stress test or uh. this one test where they ran a wand over my body with some goo on it. idk what its called

so naturally I was really just totally lost bc the pain was still there up until around late january?? I think? my memory gets a bit hazy here bc so much had happened but I’m pretty sure that shortly after it faded away (mid february-ish?) I felt normal-ish but then had this awful headache that just straight up wouldn’t go away that lasted a month or so that got so bad I broke down and begged for a hospital despite knowing my bill was outrageous already but I managed to go anyway and got a CAT scan then and an MRI a few days later that turned up nothing again. legit nothing (aside from a kidney stone lol) and just like the chest stuff it faded

some time after that I got really shaky aches and pain sin my wrists and ankles that hurt super bad that I sort of didn’t talk about but at that point at least it was something I could sort of cope with and it eventually stopped after a while (I think this was bc of an antidepressant I was on that I just. immediately stopped taking as a result of the pain) 

but eventually that gave way to what was the worst of it where I spent around 2 months being entirely unable to eat or drink /anything/. I mean anything at all. water of any sort, crackers, it all came back up and. really really sucked. I lost a lot of weight and struggled a lot and I still struggle to talk about this one bc it was so traumatic and I’m terrified of it coming back to this day (I still don’t eat or drink all the stuff I used to eat or drink and maybe never will. I almost entirely avoid dairy of all kinds now which might tie into my current problem??)

obviously I got multiple tests for this. two cameras down my tummy and an emptying study and all of which turned up.............nothing. nothing I didn’t already have anyway. nothing that could be causing it and then of course shortly after the last test, the one that I thought would definitively answer what was wrong with me,(the emptying one), I was so desperate for food that late one night I devoured some awful fried chicken from the grocery store in the middle of the night and fell asleep and the next day I could finally, thankfully sort of eat again. my dad cooked up salmon for me since it’d been in the freezer and I tried it and it mostly stayed down and then from there it stopped happening all together

this one still stresses me out and again I’m fucking terrified of it bc I still have no indication on what it is or was

but that brings me to the last month or two? (which is a good ~4-5 months? from that last thing I think. my perception of time is fucked and filled with me being pricked with fluids and stuff bleugh) which has been mostly this weird discomfort/pain in my left side that’s almost always there (but has faded sometimes) with the occasional awful discomfort uh. between my legs back there. and this awful burping habit where I taste the last thing I ate for a while

this one’s hard to pin down and I haven’t been to a doc for it (yet, I wanna go and get a colonoscopy and even asked about a stool test that one doc said no to?? and plus it’ll probably be even harder now than it was before) and I’ve been on various laxatives (started back when I wasn’t eating as not eating meant getting anything out was uh. difficult) that all sort of dipped in usefulness. lately I’ve been drinking a glass of prune juice every day or two and it seems to do the most help but it’s still there

now this is odd for me bc I’m not even sure I’ve been constipated or anything and there’s a few theories I’ve had that range from me having IBS to it being tied to my body recovering from 2-3 months of not eating or uh. removing waste. to suddenly doing it a lot (this is also my theory on the belching since my neck/throat used to hurt a shitload on account of all the acid and stuff coming back up but it’s sort of slowly felt less bad?). I also sometimes feel super zoned out and foggy but that might just be my bad sleeping

lately I’m sort of wondering if this is maybe all a neurological thing?? or maybe some sort of mental snap caused by stress from my life. it’s been hard for me to consider much else beyond a deep mental issue after so many tests ended up with good results

I’m not smart enough to know for sure but. idk. a year of nearly nonstop bodily pain no matter what I did (exercise, no exercise. eating better, eating worse, etc.) with every single possible test done beyond a select few providing no results has sort of left me as a terrified wreck without anywhere to turn and it just sucks. I’m tired of being so scared of my own body

and all of that on top of. y’know. everything going on in the world. it fucking sucks

last year was real fuckin bad man and I can only try and hope that this year gives myself and everyone else a reprieve at least. a moment to breathe and be consistently happy again. thank u guys for still hanging around me and enjoying the piddly amount of original content I put out. 

I wanna do more for this acc since it, and you guys, got me thru a lot of this last year or so (I even got to see Glaciator in the hospital once lol) and I intend to start streaming myself playing video games over on twitch more often but I can’t make any promises rn. all I can do is hope to continue putting out even the dumbest of posts that y’all might get even a tiny laugh out of

[vanityloves]

1⃣ and 💛 for medic (this is my comeback at u >:DDDD)

hi hello dont you love that im answering this more than a month later!! /s

word count: 868 :] bc again - i can not be quiet

[cw: mentions of eating/food, thats ab it]

1⃣ - What’s the first thing that attracted you to them?

Uhhhh Doctor aesthetic. My brain really said "You never had one of these chaotic bastards before, why don't you try it out for funnies" and then I did. Now look at the sad little man I've become /s

I'm gonna assume I thought he was physically attractive too bc Older Man, greying hair, broad shoulders. Yeah.

I honestly loved that he's just a bastard and not afraid to show it - he knows what he's about - ethics be damned I guess! My gut instinct was to say he was emotionally constipated which is actually why I started shipping with him! I thought it'd be funny if this painfully obvious, stupid sweetheart chara pines after a wacky but brilliant doctor thats denser than fruitcake who cant read the mood. I've definitely changed that up some bit but characterizing Medic as a mess emotionally wise, is still very prominent. Now it's emotionally constipated²! everyone hates that!

💛 - How do you help each other with everyday things?

I'm very soft of the idea of them waking up and getting ready together. Both go to bed late and it's usually Medic that wakes up first, which in turn makes Chef (more often times than not) get their ass up with him. Medic wakes up fairly easy; taking a moment to stretch and shake off the sleepies. Chef on the other hand has to drag themselves to a sitting up position and vibe there for a few minutes but there's a 30% chance they'll flop back down and fall back asleep if Medic doesn't come over and wake them up himself. He usually leans down to rub their arms or pat their leg, softly telling them to get ready. If he's feeling more affectionate, he'll plop himself down next to them, wrap them up in his arms, and playfully shake them awake. 

Throughout the day, Chef will pop their head into the medbay to check on him, while Medic - if he just so happens to walk past - will peek his head into the kitchen to see if Chef is still around. They don't always chat when this happens but it's a nice little reminder that the other is thinking of / looking out for them. 

Chef "nags" Medic about eating and vice versa.  Medic is typically fine when it comes to eating meals but he'll accidentally skip them when he loses track of time,  resulting in Chef badgering him to set a timer or something so he can take a break. Of course, he waves it off and laughs like 'sure jan'. Chef is just a fool and doesn't eat with the others often (especially when they first join). They tend to skip meals on purpose but also because of their forgetfulness. There's been a handful of times they've almost/fainted or whited out. Both parties make it a point to eat together if not for themselves, then for the other. 

Medic learns quickly that Chef doesn't like coffee and opts to make them tea and hot chocolate ( if supplies last ). It's not the crummy packaged one either - it's the Rich, Dense Hot Chocolate that Chef neither has the sweet tooth or the stomach for - regardless, they drink it bc it's soothing and legitimately makes Medic happy to see them enjoying something he made. 

Technically, Chef has to be awake early enough to make breakfast but that doesn't mean they're the first awake - because of this, Medic (and whoever's up first), usually gets the kitchen to himself before it gets too warm/crowded. As a bonus, he's able to get breakfast the way he wants it since there isn't 9 People Hovering over Chef. Also because we believe in Medic Supremacy in this base: 'You don't like your eggs scrambled? Sorry, you should've woken up earlier. ' *Medic sipping his coffee n minding his business*

Speaking of coffee - Chef is prone to making Medic a fresh cup throughout the day. He's not like Sniper Levels of Coffee Drinking but he definitely drinks more than the average person. He stays up late into the night when he's working on a particularly tough project and wakes up early. Chef makes it a point to scold him (even before they're together) to get more rest, all while replacing the old mug with a fresh one.

To add to that, they take comfort in being able to spend time together in silence while sharing a warm drink, especially after a long day. Medic doesn't appear to be a very stressed individual and tends to shrug off worries if possible - maybe even laugh it off or flat out ignore it. Chef comes off as stressed and (truthfully) a bit anxious. They're just in a base full of Tall Men that physically look down at them, they literally can't help it. They're pretty relaxed for the most part but huffs and sighs a lot when they're deep in thought.  Medic is sometimes (read, majority of the time) bad with emotions but will ask them 'what's wrong'. This usually results in limited talking, more silence, but then comes the physical comfort of having someone near. A comforting hand on their knee or just humming in response, confirming that he'll be there when they need him to be. That's more than enough for them. 

[teawithkpop]

[M] - PhysCom - Bonus Chapter

pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3 - bc 1 - pt 4 - pt 5 - pt 6

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader

Rating: Mature [18+]

Length: 2.6k words

Genre: PhysCom AU - smut with dashes of angst, and a shitload of romance and complicated feelings,, uhuhu (porn with plot??)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of birth control, mentions of sexual acts

here’s a little something to tide you guys over until pt 4 is ready~! (feat. the troublesome 95 liners lol) This chapter takes place right after Jimin and Taehyung were sent to their rooms in pt 3. I’m posting it on tumblr first, and AO3 later tonight ^^ also, this chapter has not been beta read, so it’s a nice surprise and a thank you to all my lovely beta readers as well, hehe~ hope you enjoy!

“This is all your fucking fault!” Jimin seethes, his cheeks still fiery red from being reprimanded.

Taehyung’s surprised and a little miffed at how angry Jimin is. Usually it takes a lot more to get the boy so riled up, but for some reason he’s all in knots from only some mild teasing at dinner.

“My fault?” He growses, his brow creasing as he rubs his sore shoulder from where Jimin pushed him into the table. “How is it my fault that you’re terrible at expressing your feelings?”

“Forget my feelings! What about hers?” Jimin’s face is twisted in barely contained rage as he whips around on the stairs to glare at Taehyung. “Did you even consider how she must feel after all this?”

Taehyung’s eyes widen. Of course he considers your feelings. That’s why he’d suggested that Jimin should tell you how he feels about you. The boy has been denying his crush on you for the last three months. Taehyung was just trying to help.

Okay, help and tease Jimin. Just a little.

Taehyung purses his lips, not about to veer off topic when clearly Jimin needs to explore this area of his heart. “You’re deflecting, Jiminie.”

“I am not fucking deflecting…” Jimin grumbles, trudging up the last few steps before storming off in the direction of his room. He throws a hesitant gaze down the hallway that leads to your room, but he keeps moving.

Taehyung notices and huffs at Jimin’s avoidance of the topic. He’s starting to get annoyed at being blamed for this tantrum, when it’s obviously Jimin’s own fault that he’s so emotionally constipated. “Well, then what the fuck is your problem, huh?”

Jimin is silent.

“You obviously like her, so why don’t you do something about it?”

Jimin wants to list, in great detail, all the reasons why he won’t do something about it. For one, there are boundaries, which you’ve made clear since you started working with them, and he’s already tested them once. The only thing he would hate more than keeping his feelings bottled up is breaking your trust. Secondly, because of your position in the house, there’s a weird… power dynamic. One that he doesn’t want to use to take advantage of you, even unintentionally.

Thirdly, for all he knows, you don’t have any feelings for him at all outside of your business with him, and all those nights you’ve spent acting like a doting girlfriend to him in the bedroom, experimenting and playing with him and giving him unimaginable pleasure… maybe it’s all been just that - an act. The fear of rejection from every possible angle has his confidence hitting rock bottom.

And now, after what you’ve confided in him? He can’t fathom burdening you with anything else, you have enough on your plate. But he knows voicing all this won’t do any good, not when Taehyung’s mind is set on something like it is now.

Taehyung can see that the boy’s neck is red, and he’s clearly embarrassed about something. Or maybe ashamed? He’s hard to read sometimes, like earlier when he walked in on you and Taehyung kissing-

Oh… wait a second.

Is this because Taehyung kissed you first? Before Jimin got a chance?

A goofy grin comes across Taheyung’s face. “Oh, I see what’s going on. You’re jealous, aren’t you?” Jimin’s shoulders visibly tense. That has to be it. Taehyung giggles gleefully and pokes him in the ribs. “She can still like you even though she kissed me, you know.“

“Shut up.” Jimin mutters, clenching his fists in an attempt to squeeze the anger out before it boils over him. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“Oh, I think I know pretty well.” Taehyung continues, confident that he’s found the root of Jimin’s problem and determined to dig deeper in order to remove it. After all, what are friends for if not to be the laxative to one’s emotional constipation? “You just don’t want to admit it, do you?”

Jimin’s pulse is pounding in his ears. One more word out of this boy’s mouth tonight, and he is going to lose it. It was bad enough at dinner when he kept taunting Jimin, threatening to eat you out in front of everyone - “I bet her other lips taste even better…” Now he thinks this is all about being jealous over a stupid kiss? Can’t he understand that there are much more serious issues at play here?

Seeing you break at dinner broke something inside him, too. Something that was long waiting to snap. Now, like a chemical reaction, that break is releasing all of his anger, at the world, at himself, at Taehyung…

“Come on, Jiminie. You’re jealous.” Taehyung thinks maybe a little more teasing is in order. Jimin clearly needs a push to admit what’s bothering him. “What would have happened this afternoon if you hadn’t walked in on us, hm? I wonder…”

Jimin counts to ten, tries to tune out the words. “Taehyung. Stop it.”

“I would’ve kissed her some more, slipped my tongue into her mouth… dragged it down her neck as I laid her out on that bed.” Taehyung’s voice drops lower as he himself begins imagining what could have been. “Doesn’t that make you jealous? I would have showed her such a good time. Would’ve eaten that pussy the way she deserves…”

“Shut up. Stop talking.” Jimin says through clenched teeth, his knuckles turning white as he remembers the crestfallen look of resignation on your face earlier in the day as you explained your… predicament to him. He thinks he can never look at you the same way again, overwhelmed with guilt at what was done to you. In a way, it was done for his own benefit, and he hates himself for it. Hates that he’s been conditioned to take advantage of you.

Tae continues with a chuckle, unaware of Jimin’s internal struggle and thinking he’s making good progress. Once Jimin admits his feelings, then they can start to move forward. “Mm… I’d make her scream for me, Jiminie. Make her toes curl and her cheeks all red… I’d make her cum on my tongue, over and over-”

“She CAN’T!” Jimin’s fist slams into the wall with a loud crack, leaving a dent there. He can’t take it anymore, can’t stand Taehyung unwittingly mocking your problem, it’s too cruel in his eyes, too much sick irony for him to stand, and the truth comes tumbling out before he can stop it. “She… she can’t cum, Tae.”

Jimin breathes heavily, his chest heaving from revealing your secret. He didn’t mean to… it just came out. He leans against the wall for support, his head hung with guilt.

Taehyung blinks. “She… can’t?”

Jimin shakes his head.

“But… she has-”

“They were fake. For us,” Jimin runs a hand through his hair. “For our… fucking pleasure.” He spits out the words bitterly, his lip trembling as he sinks down against the wall.

Taehyung is shocked. You never came with them? Not once?

Well that has got to change.

“She told you this?” Taehyung asks carefully, wanting to get all the facts before deciding anything.

Jimin nods forlornly, drawing his knees up to his chest. “It’s some type of birth control. She said there’s a way to turn it off, but only for emergencies.” His eyes are glassy as he looks up at Taehyung and all of his worries come tumbling out. “I don’t think I can have sex with her again, Tae. Not if she… she can’t…” His voice trails off as tears form in his eyes.

It finally dawns on Taehyung why Jimin had been acting so strangely. Why he wouldn’t fuck you at dinner.

God, he feels like a jerk now.

“Hey…” He kneels down and puts a hand on Jimin’s shoulder, offering the distraught boy some comfort, though he himself is plagued with foreboding at this new revelation, too. “Hey, it’s okay. We can make this right, don’t worry.”

“How? How can this ever be right, Tae? It’s wrong. It’s so wrong.” Jimin tries not to burst into tears, the thought of your body being affected so adversely just so they can dump their loads inside you. It has him feeling sick. “What else is she hiding? What else did they do to her…?” His voice grows quiet, horrified at the unknown possibilities.

Taehyung has somewhat of an idea what else you may be keeping from them. You’d skirted around the harsh facts, sure, but you’d told him enough about your training days for him to know it wasn’t a cake walk.

He remembers one particular evening when you’d let slip about the… exercises you’d had to do. Grueling practice that would allow your body to stretch and bend and choke to do whatever it is that your potential masters could ever want from you.

But sitting here and speculating about what’s already been done won’t help anything. What he and Jimin need is a plan of action. A set of steps to follow, a… a guide.

Holy shit. Could it really be that easy?

“Jimin.” Taehyung gets his attention, and when the boy meets his eyes, he smiles. “What’s the best way to win a game?”

Jimin blinks at him, confused by the change in topic. “Depends on the game.”

Tae laughs. “No, no. To win a game, any game, you need to know the rules like you know the back of your hand.” He stands and helps Jimin up as well, splaying his hand out in front of the other boy’s face as if to demonstrate. “Then, you just need a winning strategy.”

“I don’t understand.” Jimin says, pushing Taehyung’s hand aside with a worried frown.

“Don’t you remember when she first came here? We got a manual, like a user’s guide.” He pats Jimin on the back, and hurries down the hall towards the study.

Jimin tries to keep up with his long strides, confusion still creasing his brow. None of them had touched that manual since they got it. “Yeah, but how will a manual help? Her job is… pretty straightforward.”

Taehyung shakes his head, clasping the door handle and pulling the heavy oak door open. “The instructions for operation are simple, sure. But you know what else you can find in user guides?”

Jimin blows a puff of air, getting tired of Taehyung’s cryptic logic and mixed metaphors. “What, Tae?”

“Troubleshooting.” He grins deviously and heads inside, making his way over to the uppermost drawer of the file cabinet against the wall. “Like perhaps, emergency procedures?”

Namjoon keeps every piece of reference material they might need - from paperwork to take out menus - meticulously organized here in this room, despite the often chaotic state of own living space. Sure enough, the PhysCom manual is filed right where it should be: under ‘P’, and the date of around six months ago.

Taehyung finds a thick stack of papers in the file, containing a copy of the PhysCom contract agreement, transcripts from the members’ personal interviews, and many other goodies that might come in handy. Besides that, there’s the manual itself, a much slimmer read, bound together with a rather wry title, Physical Companions - The Ins and Outs of Your Personal Pleasure Provider.

He snorts a laugh at the ridiculous verbiage, and flips open to the index, skimming his finger along the subjects, seemingly in order of necessity. Nourishment, Hydration, Cleaning and Care, Contraceptives… Bingo.

“Hmm… here we go.” He turns to the correct page and skims the sea of text. “Aha!” His finger points out an italicized passage in the middle of the page, with a helpful diagram beside it.

The Opticon Miracle Implant has been used effectively in 99.97% of PhysComs across the world. The technology is ideal for Physical Companions, but there is still a very slim chance that side effects may occur - please see page 106 for a full list of side effects.

In the unlikely event that your PhysCom reacts poorly to the Opticon Miracle Implant, follow the guide below to shut off the device, and then administer first aid to your PhysCom until paramedics can arrive. To shut off the Opticon Miracle Implant, simply access the Settings in your PhysCom’s ComGear and select ‘Health and Safety’. Next-

A grin slowly spreads across Taehyung’s face as he reads the absurdly simple instructions. “I think we just found our winning strategy.”

“What’s a ComGear?” Jimin asks, looking over the passage as well.

“It’s her phone thingy. The one in her belt.” Taehyung says, proud to remember the answer from when you’d first mentioned it. “We could get in there, no problem, as long as there’s no password for it.”

Jimin still looks unconvinced as he skims over the text. “But we can’t just shut it off. It’s her… birth control. She can’t have sex without it, she could get… you know, pregnant.” He looks slightly uncomfortable at discussing the topic at length.

“Hm. You’re right.” Tae deflates, setting down the manual. Maybe this wasn’t as simple as he’d hoped. “Then how can we-”

“Wait!” Jimin’s eyes light up for a moment. “Condoms?”

Tae wobbles his hand back and forth in the air. “Not foolproof. And she’d probably notice.”

“Damn.” Jimin returns to the drawing board, humming as he tries to think up a solution. What if they turn it off just for a while? Just long enough to make you cum… “Wait, isn’t it her day off soon?”

Taehyung whips out his phone and checks his reminders. Yup. It sure is soon. “The day after tomorrow.”

Jimin’s eyes are full of hope. “Can we do it then? After hours tomorrow she won’t be getting fucked, so… no need for birth control, right?”

“It’s the perfect opportunity.” Taehyung nods enthusiastically, and then chuckles, nudging Jimin teasingly. “What a nice way to spend a day off, huh? Getting head from Park Jimin? It’s every girl’s dream.”

Jimin’s cheeks flush. “Wait, what? M-me?”

“Yes, you! Don’t you see?” Tae hooks his arm around Jimin’s shoulder conspiratorially. “This is the perfect chance for you to confess to her.”

Jimin looks down at the decorative carpet. “I don’t know…”

Taehyung pokes his cheek. “Hey. Imagine being the first guy to make her cum in who knows how long.” He gives him an easy smile, as if this was all said and done already. “There’s no way she won’t feel something for you after that.”

Jimin chews it over. It seems… a little sneaky. Like he would be pushing feelings into you, with his tongue. But… he doesn’t have a lot of other options right now, and god damn it, he wants you to cum if it’s the last thing he does.

“Okay,” He looks to Taehyung with determination sparkling in his eyes. “I’m in.”

Taehyung claps him on the back, giving a cheer of victory. “There’s my fearless Jiminie!” He crows, rubbing a noogie to the Jimin’s head, much to Jimin’s protest.

Jimin chuckles and pushes Tae’s arm away, shrugging off the younger boy’s excessive affection. “But we’re going to need a distraction to get into the ComGear without her noticing, right?”

Taehyung thinks for a minute, then that devious smile returns. “Leave the distraction to me.” He pets Jimin’s cheek. “You just focus on getting that tongue ready to taste the sweetest nectar it’s ever experienced.”

Jimin is about to argue, but in the end, he doesn’t question him. Taehyung has gotten them this far, hopefully he can pull off this plan, and nothing will go wrong. Hopefully.

“So what do we do now?” Jimin asks, revved up and ready to take action.

Taehyung grins, quickly putting the papers back into the file, but leaving the manual out to take with him. “Now, we get some beauty sleep, like our lovely PhysCom is probably doing.” He shuts the drawer and guides Jimin to the doors. “And tomorrow night, the game begins.”

[dillydedalus]

september reading

there is literally no way it is september. impossible. anyway this month we have  horror, Fake Dating, the rashomon effect, a time war, and most importantly, no neutrals to be found anywhere

the old man & his sons, heðin brú (tr. from faroese by john f. west) published on the faroe islands in 1940 and the first faroese novel to be translated into english, this is a story about the dramatic shift in life style during the 30s on the faroe islands, from hardscrabble subsistence farming/fishing to market economy. interesting look at changing life on isolated isles, and a much lighter (and shorter) take on the stubborn autonomous subsistence farmer than laxness’s independent people. 3/5

the white shroud, antanas škėma (tr from lithuanian by karla gruodis - english/claudia sinnig - german) a modernist, fragmented, nonlinear novel about a lithuanian poet gone into exile, now working as an elevator operator in a new york hotel, who is involved with a married woman but might also be terminally ill. in between the present timeline, the book flashes back (both in the character’s own writing and in third person) to his youth in lithuania, his torture at the hands of the soviet regime, his time at a DP camp in germany and so on. quite interesting, with some great writing. 3/5

things we lost in the fire, mariana enríquez (tr. from spanish by megan mcdowell) really good collection of horror-ish short stories that also touch on gendered violence, child abuse, poverty and argentinian history (esp. dictatorship and disappearances) - some stories are more overtly horror, with clear supernatural elements, others are more ambiguous. i don’t read (or watch) horror stuff so i’m a bad judge of how scary this is - i found it more gruesome and upsetting than terrifying, but the dread is strong in this one. favourites: adela’s house (hungry haunted house), end of term and the title story (women & self-inflictred violence), under the black water (the poisoned oil-choked river is very bad but maybe.... there’s something worse in there). good, vividly gruesome, sharp sharp sharp. 3.5/5

axiom’s end, lindsay ellis i really like lindsay ellis, of all the ~youtube video essayists~ she’s probably my favourite and this book a) has a cool premise - aliens + conspiracies + alien communication and b) a really cool cover, and it’s lindsay, so i was super excited for this one. and it would be unfair to say i was disappointed with it; it’s a fun first contact romp with really good pacing, cool aliens, on-brand lindsay ellis humour and some interesting ideas on communicating with someone who is truly alien and incomprehensible. it’s fine! i enjoyed it and will definitely read the sequel, it’s just... i was hoping it would be AMAZING, and it just wasn’t. no huge problems (except for a few lines i would have liked to take a red pen to), just.... it was fine. 3.5/5 

zeno’s conscience, italo svevo (tr. from italian by william weaver) imagine you’re a businessman in trieste who does a little unsuccessful writing on the side and one day you decide to take english lessons to improve your business opportunities with the uk and your english teacher is JAMES FUCKING JOYCE who tells you that you need to keep writing. incredible. anyway these are the autobiographical notes of one zeno cosini, a hapless hypochondriac smug self-delusional fool, who just cannot quite quit smoking, marries the one sister out of three he least desires, & works as an accountant (for the man who married his most-desired of said sisters) despite his rather tenuous grasp on bookkeeping. my favourite scene is when his future sister in law (2nd most desired) complains lightly about her difficulties with latin, he tells her that he believes latin is a man’s language and even roman ladies probably didn’t actually speak it, only for her to correct him on a latin quotation. i will say tho that this book is way to long to maintain the endearingness and often drags. 3/5 tfw u write for an audience of one but that one is james joyce so fair enough

der hund/der tunnel/die panne, friedrich dürrenmatt dürrenmatt (in addition to having a cool-ass name) really fucking slaps!  his stuff is really good, and often really really wild. these three stories are all weird & slightly existentially scary, two degrees left of reality, and just. so interesting! we have a man stalking a street preacher and his monstrous dog, a train going through a tunnel for way too long (and it is very scary), and a man becoming involved in a pretend-trial (or is it) and becoming convinced that he actually is a murderer (or is he, really?). anyway, dürrenmatt.... slaps. 4/5

wow, no thank you., samantha irby a mix of memoir and comedy blogpost and social critique blogpost about growing up poor & black, dating while fat, chronic illness, and settling down in rural america. it’s fine. i haven’t read irby’s previous collections so maybe i’m missing that emotional connection, but i thought it was mostly...okay?? not especially funny imo & i prefered the more serious chapters of which there weren’t enough. 2/5

they say in harlan county: an oral history, alessandro portelli really impressive oral history about life in harlan county, appalachia, focusing on the labor strikes and conflicts in the 30s and 40s, but really exploring life and politics in the region from the first non-native settlement there to today. really interesting, sometimes inspiring and often infuriating and probably worth reading if you’ve ever listened to which side are you on. 4/5

rashomon & other stories, ryunosuke akutagawa (tr. from japanese by jay rubin) fun fact: if you read the short story “rashomon” expecting to get the, y’know, rashomon effect, you won’t get it bc the film actually takes its plot from the story  “in a grove”. anyway this is an interesting collection of classic japanese short stories, many of which are actually about unreliable witnesses/narrators. i particularly enjoyed “in a grove” and the truly disturbing “hell screen”, but found this particular collection just a bit too long. 3/5

women without men, shahrnush parsipur (tr. from farsi by kamran talatoff & joceyln sharlet) a magical realist feminist novella about 5 women in iran who all try to liberate themselves from men in one way or another, more or less successfully (one of them turns into a tree, another becomes undead), until they end up in a semi-utopian garden together for a time. disturbing in its depiction oppression and sexual/gendered violence. i don’t really know how i feel about it, but it’s a really unique and interesting reading experience; very fraught and ambivalent in the end. 3.5/5

take a hint, dani brown, talia hibbert i think this is the first actual pure genre-romance book i’ve read... in years??possibly ever? idk. anyway this is mostly a pretty fun & sweet story about ambitious & emotionally constipated phd student dani brown and security guy with tragic past zaf ansari, who begin a fake relationship for Various Reasons (as you do) and both develop Real Feelings (as you do, predictably). it’s mostly really enjoyable but man i’m really not used to Romance writing & it’s a lot. in the end everyone is very genuine & earnest & emotionally honest which.... not to be even more emotionally repressed than dani but i cannot deal with that. anyway given that 2020 truly is the gift that keeps on giving this was a fun fluffy delight & i might  read more from the series. 3.5/5

this is how you lose the time war, amal el-mohtar & max gladstone two agents (red and blue) on opposing sides of a time war (the futuristic techy Agency vs the eco/organic Garden - neither of them is Good or Bad exactly) start writing letters as they hunt each other through the strands of time’s braid and eventually (inevitably) fall in love. really interesting concept of time travel and different timelines (if, like me, you conceptualise past as down and future as up, this will trip you up so much), very lyrical writing that sometimes toes the line to overwritten but mostly really works. 3.5/5

DNF: the madman of freedom square & the iraqi christ, hassan blasim (tr. from arabic by jonathan wright, german tr. by hartmut fähndrich) bindup of these two short story collections about iraq. these are incredibly brutal, depressing & horrifying stories about a country in a constant state of war & struggle. couldn’t bear it, probably not ever & certainly not right now. 

allegro pastell, leif randt (audio) this is brilliant, bitingly funny novel about a millenial couple, tanja & jerome, and their on-and-off long distance relationship. they are privileged (and half-aware of it), attractive, successful, very in touch with their own feelings (couldn’t be me), self-reflective, faintly ironic in everything bc sincerity might be cringe, and you will hate them. these are people who perform their feelings rather than feel them, dissect all their opinions and impulses to the point of both paralysis and narcissism, engage in constant navelgazing and cannot form any relationship that isn’t based in constant evaluation and judgment. they pride themselves on their nonconformity but are really the greatest conformists of all, and the most square, boring, spießig people under the veneer of their urban liberal drug-and-club lifestyle. had so much fun with it even as i was constantly cringing at these people. 4/5

[gayluigi]

I just lost my 5th fish in like 2 weeks. fuckin SUCKS. like 4/5 of those were completely out of my control and there was very little I could’ve done about the 5th so it’s just a run of rotten luck, but it’s just not fair. I’m tired of losing fish. I think I’m just gonna cycle the tank for a while idk. I did a 50% water change to try and get rid of the cooties that killed my last betta so I guess I’ll just let the good bacteria build up. might do another 50% change in a few days just to be sure. but idk what I’m gonna do after that. maybe I’ll just say fuck it and get a handful of guppies again like I did last time I had a run of bad luck lmfao. guppies to me are like getting bangs-- you only get them in times of crisis when you have nothing left to lose. at least with guppies you don’t really EXPECT them to live long bc they’re little inbred shitfucks most of the time. but with a betta they can live 5 years under the right conditions. losing them too early just fucking SUCKS. and losing plecos sucks too, two of the 5 I lost were baby bristlenose plecos. they were just little dudes.

and it’s not like I suck at taking care of bettas!! I’ve just had SUPER rotten luck lately!! my first betta of my adulthood, Orchid, lived 3 years after I got him, which is pretty remarkable considering he had pretty bad cancer!! His body ended up starting to shut down, so I had to put him down bc he was too weak to make it up to the top of the tank to eat, so he would’ve otherwise starved to death. But then I got Julianus, who I had for about 6 months before he randomly died. It was weird, one day he was fine, the next day I find him in the tank, pale as a ghost and dead. No idea what happened there. Then I had Aquamarine (and his bristlenose tankmate Nemo), who passed in the Texas freeze when we lost power and the house got down to like 42 degrees. Not my fault, we didn’t have any way to keep them warm. Then, I had Monet (and at the same time bought a new bristlenose), who I had for like a day before he got stuck in my shitty PetSmart BettaFlo filter and died. Was that my fault? Maybe, for cheaping out and buying a cheap-ass filter. But I got that when Orchid was alive bc the filter that came with the tank was chewing up his fins, and I never really had a problem with it until the last couple months. Nemo got stuck in it a couple times, which is how he got his name, but I figured that was because he was just so damn small. but nah, Monet got stuck in it too and died, so that filter went directly in the garbage once I got home from buying the new one. And then I had Blue Jeans, who already had a fast acting form of columbaris when I got him (like he had a very small discoloration, barely noticeable, the day I got him, and by the next day, he was COVERED in it), and by the time I realized what was going on, it was too late-- we tried medicating him with everything the pet store thought might work, and he still died. And now, the little pleco. death by constipation, I believe. what sucks is that I just wasn’t able to get him a pea in time. my mom got peas today and I put one in the tank, but I didn’t realize that he was already dead by the time I put it in. too little too late to save him.

like, very little of this was preventable. I could’ve had more forethought about the type of filter I was using, but how was I to know that a freaking filter MADE FOR BETTAS SPECIFICALLY would kill my fish? and I could’ve gone to the store the minute I noticed the little pleco was constipated and got the peas myself, but I didn’t know he was so critically backed up! I didn’t realize the delay in getting him that damn pea would cost him his life. I thought I had more time.

this just fucking SUCKS. I feel like a fish murderer. part of me feels like just dismantling my tank and giving up. sometimes you can do everything by the book and still end up fucked over by mother nature herself. I think I’m gonna give it another go once I give my heart a little time to heal, but damn does this just fucking suck ass. not fair. not fair at all.

[zouchu]

92 Truths Tag

RULES: Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged..

I’ve been tagged by @bangtan-chats-and-memes​ (thank you so much !!)

LAST:

Drink: why, only the most exciting exotic unique rare drink ever    ... water

Phone call: initiated by me: my dad for permission to go to the mall / not initiated by me: my parents to check up on my sisters and i at home

Text message: i sent a screenshot of “jelly garden“ (candy crush rip-off) to my group chat with the caption “totally original / definitely not some chinese rip-off“

Song you listened to:   l o v e   s c e n a r i o   by ikon. i was obsessed with momoland’s “bboom bboom” for a while too                           Time you cried: ive teared up (because my eyes burn looking at things randomly), but the last time i let the tears fall was probably for/about Jonghyun.

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: no remotely romantic relationships here

Been cheated on: see above

Kissed someone and regretted it: you’d need to have kissed to regret kissing (no)

Lost someone special: it’s circumstantial

Been depressed: the most ive felt was extreme stress, and thats not anywhere  close to depression, so nope

Been drunk and thrown up: i can’t not according to the Law, i am an obeyer (?) of the law sometimes probably

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: ive gotten more comfortable with my friends’ friends this year, and began speaking to @allthingstaekook​ and @garekinanase97​ a lot more !!

Fallen out of love: you need to have been in it to fall out of it, haha!

Laughed until you cried: oh definitely

Met someone who changed you: friends/family  changed me while i was being made... does that make sense? they molded me more than changed me

Found out who your true friends are: for sure, hopefully (for sure)

Found out someone was talking about you: my second eldest sister probably, who tells her friends about me? for some reason? bc that makes sense to her?? somehow ????

GENERAL

How many people in Tumblr do you know in real life?: no one and i don’t mind lol (i suck at social interaction)

Do you have any pets?: nope, bc its too much of a responsibility (my parents words, paraphrased, not mine)

Do you want to change your name?: not really... never thought about it, but i don’t mind changing or not changing it

What time did you wake up this morning?: 7:28 am

What were you doing last night?: procrastinating the fUCk out of my english rant thats due on fRIdAy and im probably gonna restart aGAIn

Name something you cannot wait for: summer vacation probably

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: there was a kid named Thomas at my elementary school who did weather reports for probably 5+ years

What’s getting on your nerves right now?: MY UNABLITY TO DO WORK AND FINISH A SIMPLE ENGLISH ASSIGNMENT LIKE WHATS SO DIFFICULT ABOUT IT XIAO HOW HARD CAN IT BE (REALLY FCUKING HARD APPARENTLY)

Blood type: ive got... no idea

Nickname: i use my chinese name “xiao” here (even though no one seems to use it) bc i dont trust the internet very much yet.

Relationship status: tis i, a lonely single bean

Zodiac sign: gemini! ive never went out of my way to look at it, but when i do, i dont relate very much 

Pronouns: she/her

Favourite show: uhhhh i dont watch... shows? cartoons, maybe (phineas and ferb, spongebob, fairly odd parents). the only kdrama ive finished was the guardians, and it was pretty good.

College: nope, im practically a baby still

Hair colour: was black and always has been

Do you have a crush on someone?: ive had a crush before. rn... i not sure what i feel 

What do you like about yourself?: im pretty happy with how i turned out. i’ve only been unhappy about minor physical things. id definitely upgrade my productivity if i were to change anything.

FIRSTS

First surgery: none i can remember

First piercing: my ears when i was 3: begged my aunt to get them pierced. after one ear, i didnt want to anymore, and she ended up bribing me to get it pierced

First sport you joined: swimming? badminton? not too sure

First vacation: to china, but idk if that counts as a vacation since i stayed there for 4-5 years so

First pair of sneakers: hey, kudos to you if you can remember that, bc i cant

RIGHT NOW

Eating: just ate a snickers

Drinking: why, only the most exciting exotic unique rare drink ever    ... water

I’m about to: TRY to work on english

Listening to: my playlist shuffled to Married to the Music by SHINee -- so underrated gOD

Want kids: i wanna adopt, so when the kids have more common sense and know when to stop crying and disobeying at random times

Get married: doesnt sound too bad. i picture myself living a pretty basic life, so marriage is probably in the picture somewhere

Career: anytime an adult asks me this question to try to start a conversation... hooo boy, did you make it difficult bc i have no idea. business maybe, editor maybe... idk

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: never really thought about this... eyes?

Hugs or kisses: idk what kisses are like, and i seem to try to avoid hugs when offered soooooo ill go for the unknown: kisses

Shorter or taller: o shit ive never thought about this before. i’d like to be taller, or same height, give or take 5 cm

Older or younger: age doesnt equate their behavior. if we’re solely looking at age, give or take 2 years maybe?

Romantic or spontaneous: ooh both

Sensitive or loud: i get loud when im comfortable and passionate, so itd be nice to have a balance, and a counterpart, so.. both

Hookup or relationship: relationship. hookups would not be for me (i think waaay too much into everything)

Troublemaker or hesitant: im pretty indecisive and hesitant, so a counterpart here to urge me to be more ~adventurous~  would be nice

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: nope

Drank hard liquor: nope

Lost contacts/glasses: i dont wear either so

Sex on first date: nope

Broken someone’s heart: not to that extent, but “rejected” (ran away)

Been arrested: nope and hopefully never

Turned someone down: in 6th grade, i ran away from/pointedly ignored 2 confessions and i feel terrible, thinking back. they were good friends, for sure, but i was am emotionally constipated and lack emotional and social intelligence

Fallen for a friend: no... maybe? fallen =/= crushed. crushed, yes

DO YOU BELIEVE

In yourself: most times

Miracles: i believe in chance and possibilities, so you could say i believe in miracles

Love at first sight: attraction yea, but love? of course not

 -- la fin --

i tag uh,, @allthingstaekook @4-rmv @gudetaeyeon @fightme-jungkook @yoonjih no pressure though !!

[arthoure]

Hi! i was (not so anymore) discreetly checking out your blog and i caught onto smth that got my attention and i hopeyou dont mind me asking! would you explain more of seliph/ares? it sounds really interesting to hear more about in depth! thanks :o)

Angela is this you.

BUT JUST IN CASE IT’S NOT. Oh my god anon ohhhhh my god. 

So mostly my thoughts started rolling here, but then they never stopped. Like, I have to attempt to organize them bellow but sorry if they’re still super rambly.

1. Dynamic DuoI’m just really enamoured with the pair they make: the foils they are and how they bring out the best in each other. Seliph has always been raised knowing he’s supposed to take charge of things, but he doesn’t seem nearly as at-ease with it as Ares does, who just busts into castles full of noblemen like “Son of Eltshan, lord of the dead, hi how u doin.” He’s very ponderous and sometimes it’d be good for him to get a good, brash kick in the pants. He’s very sensitive and sometimes it’d be good for him to have someone more jaded around to point out that he shouldn’t beat himself up for the cruel sacrifices he has to make for the greater good. (He has Oifey and Shanan for that too, but I think that sort of reassurance from a peer and friend, someone his own age, is not to be underestimated). Likewise, Ares is so emotionally constipated and it’d be good for him to hang with someone who doesn’t accept stonewalling or table-flipping as an acceptable way to solve a problem, someone who is very communicative and calm. Imo they have a lot to learn from each other and those lessons could really round out their leadership styles. Seliph and Leif (and Ares and Leif) are good foils too, but Seliph and Ares are so dynamic when you stand them back-to-back. Like, nobody would want to fight one of them alone – imagine them together. 

(Their colour schemes are just nice too, in a medieval context, haha. Black for death and knowledge, blue for purity.) 

2. Seliph’s Friendship is Staggering for Ares, ContextuallyIt’s mentioned in one reference (uhggg I forget which) that Ares lived a very solitary life, so. Canon friendless emo kid suddenly meets a guy who pronounces them friends the moment they meet and KEEPS INSISTING IT AFTER RECEIVING A DEATH THREAT. Ares has learned to push people away, has learned that he can’t trust anyone, and Seliph is the first person he meets who just calls him on his bullshit and doesn’t let himself be pushed. Jabarro turns on him, Lene gets angry and tells Ares to leave, but Seliph insists on friendship, and I think after a life like Ares’s, that would be very profoundly touching (after he gets over being ANGRAY and bewildered). 

You get this impression that Ares is this very Stronk, Door-Smashing kind of guy and that Seliph is quiet and meek, but really their first meeting just showcases Seliph’s particular kind of strength and stubbornness. Ares is literally described in-game as someone you “wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley” but Seliph is unafraid, matches him turn for turn. He’s the first person Ares has met who can really keep up with him – and he actively wants Ares there, at his side. He has such a big heart ;^;.

3. Ending subtextSeliph has a cheesy line about them seeing their kingdoms to glory “hand in hand” and he doesn’t say it to any other dudes so idk make of that what you will (you already know what I’m making of it).

4. The Journey to Being BestiesBy the end of the game they’re canonically BFFs. We don’t get to see any of the development, but it’s not too hard to imagine. Best friends confide in each other – Ares is probably one of the only people (excluding Seliph’s mentors), maybe even the only person considering Leif’s view of Seliph, that has heard about Seliph’s doubts and insecurities. He’s certainly one of the only people who has seen the fabulous Heir of Light as a regular guy, a young man making mistakes and feeling uncertain, maybe getting tispy, maybe snoring, maybe sneezing at a bad moment. And by the end of the game Seliph has certainly seen the real Ares (because you can’t look at that guy and believe he’s not 99% an act. HE’S SUCH A HAM). The Black Knight with the bloodthirsty sword laughing at jokes, giving his cousin swordfighting lessons, maybe even disclosing some of his daddy issues. By the endgame Ares trusts Seliph, which makes him vulnerable to Seliph. One of the most misanthropic characters in the game follows one of the most hopeful, and allows some of that hope to rub off on him, even getting over a lifelong grudge to do so, and I think just on a thematic level that’s some pretty powerful stuff.   

5. The Lifelong Grudge“Enemies to lovers” has never really been my thing, but what I love about Ares’s grudge is that it’s completely unfounded. He goes his entire life believing Sigurd betrayed his father, and he’s consumed with getting his revenge, and then when he actually meets Seliph, Seliph completely rips the rug out from underneath him. He takes away Ares’s entire reason for living. (It’s both painful and hilarious, really.) Though it’s not covered in the game, I think it’s more than reasonable to assume that Seliph himself helps Ares come to terms with all this. The whole concept has such a neat phoenix effect with Eltshan and Sigurd’s tragedy: from all that manipulation and sorrow and anger come two very honest boys who manage to build upon the foundation laid for them, and make something better and more lasting. Even if they don’t end up as a romantic option, it’s canon that Grannvale and Augustria are each others’ greatest allies while Seliph and Ares are reigning. 

They’re sons who want nothing more than to make their fathers proud, and by becoming friends, they end up surpassing their fathers and redeeming their old mistakes. I think it would be a very empowering and validating experience for both of them. (For me it amplifies the shipping feels like 100%. Ares has had so few people who love and care about him, and for the person who loves him the most to be Seliph is such a sweet thought to me.)

6. Other random thingsThey’re a Darkness + Sunshine couple and that’s hilarious. Literally Andy and April from Parks and Rec.Ares: Someone’s going to die. Seliph: Of FUN! :D

I headcanon Ares as very tall and Seliph as shortish so that’s cute. Especially since Seliph has both the physical strength and emotional clout to make Ares look up at him, so to speak, if he really needs to.

Don’t you think they’d admire each other so so so much? Seliph watching Ares wrecking shop and thinking “wow he’s so badass and passionate he tries so hard at everything all the time”; and Ares watching Seliph comfort their peers the way he does in the endgame if anyone’s lover dies, thinking “oh my god he’s so nice and so giving what a genuinely good guy in a world of shitty people.”

Ares letting Seliph borrow his black cloak tho

Verbal, cute, emotionally-open Seliph remarking from time to time how glad he is that he and Ares met

They both have long hair and it seems pretty important to them (Seliph bc it’s Isaachian culture and Ares bc he wants to look Just Like Dad, I assume) so they can just like. Play with each others’ hair and other nice things. 

They’re foils but they still have a lot in common!! They can have cool spars with their sacred swords and long talks about JUSTICE and conspire about how tf to be kings when they were a refugee and a child soldier their whole lives.

There’s probably more???? I’m probably forgetting something. Feel free to pry further if you want I’m just a mess aaaaa