#at first I was sad about the break
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Dadstarion has me in a chokehold and the way you draw him being so GENTLE with Kit is so precious, I would die to see the transition from his new parent terror to how comfortable he eventually gets with him :O
of course he got there eventually <333
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#dadstarion#astarion#tav#tavstarion#the anons are FEEDING me rn#i think at first he was like 'i cannot even look at this thing or i will break it'#something about him with the teeny little bab just makes me melt inside#i see sad men and i need to put them in a sweater and give them a family
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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update: apparently it was a planned break but yes we're definitely getting the next TGCF episode on 6 December 🦋
tgcf season 2 episode 6 to air on 6 December ,,,, a two week break for the donghua ;______;
(saw this on twt so please take with a grain of salt but it looks legit!)
#bilibili made a post about it so it's real!#just an update I was SUPER cautious originally but the break has been confirmed#tgcf news#at first I was sad about the break#but it actually works for me because I'll be busy with year end stuff at work XD#thanks bilibili ig!
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Dude I need claws SO bad. Except I need prosthetics to be really sturdy, so I can actually like. Use them for shit. Like I wanna be able to wear them to help me climb or claw at stuff or whatever I need them for. But people only make like plastic or foam or resin claws. It's not STRONG enough. I need like. IRON claws. STEEL claws. Claws I can climb trees and rock faces with. Claws that could kill a man if I wanted them to. It's a fucking TRAGEDY these aren't a thing, and I swear to God I'm about to learn metalworking just so I can make myself a suitable set.
#i saw ONE set of metal clawrings online ONCE. except they aren't made by the company anymore and when i asked them about it they only had-#-like four individual rings in the back#INCREDIBLY sad about that actually#anyway. i need to work on my plans for these claws. if i do i'll post them#i'd like them to be long and sharp (obviously)#and be situated in a way where they won't come off. either under the first phalange or at the base of the finger so i can grip them#and a groove to slot my finger into so it's comfy and doesn't dig into my skin or nails. this is important because i have sensory issues-#-with my nails#and then from there... idk just a nice ring design that'll stay comfy through all uses#and have the metal be sturdy enough to. one. not bend. and two. not break.#bonus points if i allow space to sharpen the clawtips ofc#augh#anyway#dragonfire.#whispers.#dragonkin#nonhuman#otherkin#dragon therian
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i post only the truth
#seriously though i watched this film for the first time over Christmas break and this is all i could think about the entire time#whenever I'm sad i picture Jack and Vlad in the scene where Vlad tests Jack's “paralysis” by mercilessly beating his legs with a switch#danny phantom#college trio#vlad masters#jack fenton#maddie fenton
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I bring to thee some quick late night Viktuuri sketches because I think we could all use some fluff
#some viktuuri for the soul!#my blorbos are always in my mind even if im not creating for them in that moment#they never leave <3#their eepy leepiness is a reflection of moi and i love their eepy leepiness for them i hope theyre getting some great naps#just some calm and quiet#love that for them#also this isnt the first time i draw in like two months what are you talking about?#the last art i posted totally wasnt from the 14th of march shhhhh the date on the post is definitely wrong source trust me#no but like i have been so dead for months#dont expect to see much art from me before july when my break starts and i can stop being stressed out of my mind#now i can be one of those tortured artist types except i havent done any art to communicate how sad i am#tbh im just tired i just wanna sleep#am i gonna? youre funny of course not but now i can at least pretend my awake time was vaguely productive#yuri on ice#yuri on ice fanart#fanart#art#arom antix art#arom antix#viktor nikiforov#kastuki yuuri#viktuuri
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my sirius & harry thought of the day:
harry kept that firebolt alive for all 137 years of his remaining life through sheer willpower and magical strength. he did not let a single twig of it die off. not only was he absolutely unhinged about taking care of it, not letting anyone near it after 5th year, but he also basically single-handedly reinvented the field of broom-crafting just so he could keep his godfather’s gift to him alive. he didn’t do anything with this skill, basically driving everywhere who knew him spare bc !!! ‘harry do u know what u just did? most brooms don’t last over 6-7 years, not even a fraction of that if used at the pace and frequency as u. if u could just—‘
and he just flat out shuts them up bc how does he tell them that the reason his firebolt is still alive is bc sirius’ love runs thru it and harry would die himself before he let it bc he can’t lose the last piece of sirius he has left. he cannot perform this miracle on any other broom, tho he can probably make the single best non-sirius-gifted broom that the WW has ever seen just bc of how extensive his knowledge is now
and the thing, right, is he doesn’t keep the firebolt locked up in some display like some artefact. sirius would’ve never wanted that. his dad would’ve hated it. brooms were meant to be flown. so fly, he does. wonderfully. it’s forever his primary broom and he puts it thru all the paces, keeping up with all sorts of newer, flashier, pro models w utter ease.
it’s like this: when he uses this firebolt, it feels like perhaps he has his godfather back for just a second. and harry is forever weak to that feeling.
#sirius black#harry potter#good godfather sirius black#haven’t been here in a. while huh#s&h my beloved <3#there’s just something. about sirius gifting harry his first and last broom.#that makes me go feral#i need harry to be unhealthily attached to his broom#it’s a problem. like a legit mental health one#but he doesn’t know how to move on from it#he spends hours polishing that thing and grooming the bristles or stuff#or wtv*#the only other person who got to touch it was james sirius#for obvious reasons#never w/o supervision tho harry is not that hinged yet#or ever#his kids know this is one line they cannot cross w their father#not bc he gets angry. but bc he gets unbearably sad#and they all know about papa sirius#this hc is becoming yet another rabbit hole so i’m gonna pull the breaks#but this is yet again making me realise how much i love next gen#the potter babies are just!!!#and dad harry is lovely#ok yah that’s it#pen’s notes
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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY
#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK#ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK#my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3#so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first#which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go#but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it#from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN#about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change#the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even#and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop#to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel#and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember#reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not#the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often#misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#playthru#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#change god#WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK
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How are we feeling today, people who read pokespe?
#pokemon#hardenshipping#pokemon special#I CANT#Theyre living in my brain rent free#sometimes i just remember that Archie really called him friend after everything#after we see him being so cold to everyone and after he killed Maxie#and it makes me want to break walls#and then i remember how theyre die together peacefully after everything#theyre so calm because theyre together and theyre know they did their best#and it makes me so sad so sick so emotional im going to cry someday#also#the fact archie ask maxie about if he want to work together again#first of all thats kind of ironic and emotional after we knoe archie killed maxie#second thing its that jts funny because in the beginning its maxie who asks for working together perhaps#i can't#i want to write essay about them im actuallt going to do it and then post it here#so every one of you will cry again
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I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the end of her family name.
I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.
Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.
All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:
“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”
Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.
#(the quote is by Richard Woodville in his deathbed will; he was the last of the Woodville brothers to die)#elizabeth woodville#woodvilles#my post#to be clear I am not arguing that the death of an English gentry family name is some kind of giant tragedy (it absolutely the fuck is not)#I'm trying to put it into perspective with regards to what Elizabeth may have felt because we know her family DID feel this way#writing this kinda reminded me of how I am just not fond at all about the way Elizabeth's experiences in 1483-85 are written about#and the way lots so many of the unprecedentedly horrifying aspects are overlooked or treated so casually:#the seizure and murder of two MINOR sons and the illegal execution of another;#her sheer vulnerability in every way compared to all her queenly predecessors; how she was harassed by 'dire threats' for months;#how she had 5 very young daughters with her to look after at the time (Bridget and Katherine were literally 3 and 4 years old);#how unprecedented Richard's treatment of her was: EW was the first queen of england to be officially declared an adulteress;#and the first and ONLY queen to be officially accused of witchcraft#(Joan of Navarre was accused of her treason; she was never explicitly accused of witchcraft on an official level like EW was)#the first crowned queen of england to have her marriage annulled; and the first queen to have her children officially bastardized#what former queens endured through rumors* were turned into horrifying realities for her.#(I'm not trying to downplay the nightmare of that but this was fundamentally on a different level altogether)#nor did Elizabeth get a trial or appeal to the church. like I cannot emphasize this enough: this was not normal for queens#and not normal for depositions. ultimately what Richard did *was* unprecedented#and of course let's not forget that Elizabeth had literally just been unexpectedly widowed like 20 days before everything happened#I really don't feel like any of this is emphasized as much as it should be?#apart from the horrifying death of her sons - but most modern books never call it murder they just write that they 'disappeared'#and emphasize that ACTUALLY we don't know what happened to them (this includes Arlene Okerlund)#rather than allowing her to have that grief (at the very least)#more time is spent dealing with accusations that she was a heartless bitch or inconsistent intriguer for making a deal with Richard instead#it also feels like a waste because there's a lot that can be analyzed about queenship and R3's usurpation if this is ever explored properly#anyway - it's kinda sad that even after Henry won and her daughter became queen EW didn't really get a break#her family kept dying one by one and the Woodville name was extinguished. and she lived to see it#it's kinda heartbreaking - it was such a dramatic rise and such a slow haunting fall#makes for a great story tho
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Augustus: *throwing a tantrum* "DAD WHY AM I LIKE THIS"
Octavius: "Well, I didn't sculpt you but it seems they ran out of marble."
Augustus: "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT STINKS HAVING NO HANDS"
Jed: "Or legs."
Octavius: "That's not helping."
Omg you can't just say that Jed!
#dialogue? I hardly know her#sometimes I wish I was doing digital art instead but then I remembered that I'd probably spend insane amounts of time to fix little mistake#like. pixel lever of mistakes#still. it'd be nice if I could have more detail on my drawings#it would also help if I drew these a little bigger#the whole thing is less than 10cm tall (in the first panel they're like 1cm tall. little guys)#anyway#natm#night at the museum#natm octavius#natm jedediah#jedediah smith#gaius octavius#augustus caesar#jedediah and octavius#jedtavius#fanart#art#traditional art#ask#anonymous#answered#sorry this took so long. i had trouble coming up with the panels#I'm not good at making comics#btw I don't think they'd actually allow him to have the roomba unsupervised by a normal sized person or exhibit#because he literally have no arms or legs. if he falls he breaks#and jed and oct can do nothing about it#sad#parents or bust au
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Wyll breaking up with the player character if Ulder dies so Wyll must become the Duke makes me wanna throw up sobbing because he actually thinks that just because his father's first duty being to Baldur's Gate made him a Bad Father that Wyll himself will inevitably be a Bad Lover because surely no one could match love with duty if his father couldn't, unknowing he has more love in one hand than his father had in his entire body. fuck
#More in my reblog#“my father taught me more lessons than I can count” yeah dog they were called CAUTIONARY TALES 😭😭😭#“pull me too close and I'm destined to hurt you” FUCKIGN. BITING YOU#“a champion's heart is as sharp as a new blade” SO CRAZY I GOT THIS SICK ASS ARMOUR. TRY ME.#I'm actually in physical pain over this. Wyll my love.#I need to rip ulder in two with my bare hands right now.#sorry I JUST saw the breakup scene for the first time today and I haven't stopped thinking about it it's making me ill with sadness#he didn't even break up with ME but it fucking feels like it goddamn#bg3#Wyll Ravengard#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 analysis#oh my GOD and the fact that he offers one last dance. I'mgoing to ufckingexplode#and he spends five whole seconds just. holding the character. not even dancing.#I watched the version with him and astarion ofc I don't romance wyll myself (lesbianism)#makes me wanna write a fucking fic (derogatory)#why the fuck is everyone so ill over astarion when mr insane mental health issues is RIGHT here (i know why. but still)
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We're going to save your brother.
#mario movie#mario movie spoilers#super mario bros#super mario bros movie#super mario bros movie spoilers#princess peach#mareach#cherrysip edits#I FEEL LIKE THIS MOMENT DID NOT GET THE ATTENTION AND APPRECIATION IT DESERVED ON HERE#man i could write you an essay about this#i do think that the 'i'm not afraid! i'll do anything for my brother' line actually ISN'T said during this scene - it's probably earlier#but that this line IS in the right place (peach's mouth movements match)#which means that scene is going to break me because it just seems like a very vulnerable sweet moment between them#where peach and mario get to talk about the situation they're in and their fears and how big the stakes are for both of them#peach fighting to protect her kingdom and her subjects - the immense pressure on her to stop bowser because of her role as a leader#and mario desperately trying to save his brother - not knowing if luigi is ok or not and not being able to keep him safe is so painful#i think that's why mario doesn't have his hat on - the adventure is starting to weigh on him and he opens up to peach for the first time#about him and luigi and their closeness and how he CAN'T lose his brother he CAN'T let him down when he needs him more than ever#and peach reassures him and it means the world. even in this quick clip there's something a little sad about his face#but also there's relief and gratefulness to her for saying that. they're the absolute sweetest :) :) :)#i could be off base but that really does seem like the vibe of this scene from what we've seen and i am ALL ABOUT IT
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this was supposed to be just a quick doodle but now here we are
been wanting to draw Iris and Fuyu musical theatering romantically for a while, but gonna be honest this probably won't be the last time I do this XD
"I'm certain if I fall in love I'm lost without a trace, but it's worth it for that face~"
#bear text#blush blush game#blush blush#bb game#sad panda studios#kitsune bundle#fuyu#Iris#marshmallow oc#I wanna draw some more tonight but my stomach is about to eat itself so I need to take a break#I also decided I hate this as I'm posting it OOPS#I really need to stop trying to fully match my style to blush blush and just full on draw some boys in my style#EMBRACE THE WONK#fighting the urge to test that idea right now BUT NO FOOD FIRST#bear draws#BLUH just take it I'm so done with looking at it now LOL XD#SONGS FROM THE PRODUCERS BTW#'that face'
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#tag post cos this is hate and i dont wanna upset anyone#but im in season 2 of my ap bio rewatch#which is where i was on the first watch when i started Sunny#and my predisposition to disliking Dennis now makes.. a lot of sense#jack griffin is absolutely insufferable to me#s1 was tolerable but s2 is even worse than i remember#and going into Sunny the first time i think that definitely carried over#i was blind to a lot of Dennis' insecurities and complexities the first time around#cos i just didnt give enough fucks about him#and i definitely think that was a lot of that was subconscious#just seeing his face and remembering my hate for jack griffin#anyway i think im giving up on this show#bc i dont like most of the side characters either#theres some funny bits but#its too annoying to watch with all the ad breaks on my tv and not worth it to pirate#oh well... sorry glenn im glad others are watching and enjoying tho#your guy is just like. my least favourite kinda guy. sad.#ill be seated for sirens tho...i trust...
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i get so frustrated bc like… the point of Smile 2 (bc i do understand this criticism of the first one) it’s not to just say like…. ‘oh and everyone who’s mentally ill is bad and evil and gross and hurts themselves and ppl around them and its hopeless the end’ like NOO you missed the point.
When you’re depressed or hallucinating or going through something insanely stressful, it can make you lash out, or make you impulsive and sad and scared, or push away the ppl who surround you. And it can make you feel like the world is laughing at you.
And it’s not Skye’s fault, it’s not happening to her because she’s a terrible person! And the movie isn’t trying to say that it is happening to her because she is a terrible person. But the ‘monster’ that lives in her head tries to tell her that, and tries to get her to believe it.
And the sad thing is that to a point, she does everything right! She reaches out, and she asks for help, and she tries to talk to someone about what’s happening. But there’s no one in her corner, and no support system she can rely on, and no one responds until it’s too late. And it’s sad. And it’s scary. And it’s a tragedy.
And that’s the point, I think. Does that make sense?
#idk this was what i thought#like the first movie did make me feel like ‘ok what was the point’ and left me disappointed#but i thought the sequel had a better take#and maybe i’m just stating the obvious but i’ve seen so many ppl complaining abt this and i’m just thinking#did we watch the same movie?#it’s not trying to demonize the mentally ill (despite the monster being. you know. a demon)#it’s just a sad story about what can happen to us when no one around us BELIEVES us#when we tell them we need help#and also what happens when maybe we push ourselves too far (a la skye refusing to take a break when she needs one)#but even that isn’t really on her bc when she finally BEGS for a break they refuse her one#and then it kills her.#smile 2#smile 2 spoilers#if i’m totally missing the mark tho lmk i genuinely do want to talk abt it
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