#at an impasse. ough

[mechawolfie]

hmm. thinking abt how an etherlan version of wolfwood would work when i dont have christianity bc like.. thats a Very important part of his character. like who is he without his catholic guilt.. without the crosses all over his body..... i hate to imagine it ....!

[fullscoreshenanigans]

^⏺^ ^⏺^ ^⏺^

TPN WIP and sketch dump

(a comfort project that i will eventually finish probably; i have a lot of thoughts ab the night before they infiltrated GF; Ray doodle from an idea I wandered away from; let’s pretend they got to be normal kids and go to normal high school and nothing bad ever happened ever)

[fiber-optic-alligator]

(Not a request dw)

Ough... He's so effortlessly unnerving in this form. Even when he's trying to help. I love it.

Imagine how horrifying that'd be. Like, you're terrified enough as you're running away from the Arcane Herald. But then he sends a trio of those dead-eyed drones after you.

And they're faster.

They're so much faster, and when they inevitably reach you. You notice that they're so much stronger than you as well. The three ex-human drones pull you into an awkward group hug, firmly pinning your arms to your sides so you can't hurt yourself by lashing out at them.

They then work together in perfect unison to turn you back towards the Herald, and walk you towards him. Keeping you firmly trapped in the cage of their surprisingly gentle arms.

He kneels before the four of you when you get close enough, and his warped hands reach carefully to ensnare your struggling form in an equally unyielding, but careful grip. "You're frightened. I understand." His omnipresent voice is quieter, almost pensive, as he lifts you away from the perfected humans.

"But I cannot let you go when you could be hurt out there." The Herald runs a thumb down the side of your face in what you think is an attempt to comfort you. He pauses when you grab ahold of his finger, and try to push him away. The twin gold pinpricks of light in his eye sockets flicker at your continued resistance, and he sighs. "You must understand. I am only trying to help you. But you don't want my healing. So my help must come in a different form, you see."

Your thrashing slows, and you stare up at him in confusion. "What. What form? What do you mean?" He doesn't respond right away, instead electing to lift you closer to his impassive face.

"My help will have to come in the form of careful containment." With that simple, but damning statement his mask splits apart at the base to reveal that horrifying maw once more. He takes care to slip you past his teeth quickly so that you don't have the time to grab them, let alone try to grab ahold of his hand to escape your containment.

He doesn't waste time tasting you once his jaws click closed, and he swallows deeply once you are sufficiently slicked up with saliva. Peristalsis carries you down, down, down to his warped, purple stomach once more. Exhaustion takes hold quickly, but the voices within murmur ceaselessly. No doubt pleased by your return.

A muffled, but unsettlingly pleased sigh echoes from above you as the Arcane Herald relaxes once you've been returned to his core. Where you belong. After a lengthy pause, you can feel his hand find where you are in his stomach, and rub gently as though to further console you about your circumstances. "Your energy is intoxicating, Little One. Surely you wouldn't mind sharing it with me, since you seem to possess an abundance of it?"

-Not a Request Anon

WAAAAGH THIS IS WONDERFUL! The finalized realization that this is your fate: the Herald has taken a liking to you, and he doesn't plan on ever letting you go. Being so gentle while also being terrifying in every way. The perfect humans which act so violent towards others are so careful with you. It's like being the chosen one, yet it's NOT something you want.

[thecircularsystem]

do you have anything you'd like to say particularly about the intersection of syscourse and self harm?

Ough. First off, TW clearly for discussions of SH.

I mean...

Syscourse is often a form of emotional self harm. That's obvious. I think what is less obvious is when people are actually using it for self harm.

For instance: Is me syscoursing right now self harm, or not?

What actually constitutes self harm?

Like, on one hand, I am deliberately sitting and answering asks, putting off work that I need to be doing. I am purposefully choosing to make tomorrow harder for me, because I'm not doing things I could be doing now. I am syscoursing while I could be doing dishes, or picking up laundry, or any number of needed things.

On the other, I'm syscoursing today because I have a goal for writing, and that's taking up my whole mind right now; it's easier for me to answer asks than it is to write full length stories, so I asked for asks that I knew would be quick and easy ~300 word bids for word count today. I'm having fun. And that's where this gets muddy.

I think, at the end of the day, my biggest stance on this is that it is absolutely nobody else's place to call someone out for self harming, in any degree. Sure, if you're worried about your friend, you could say, "Hey, I'm really worried about how you're interacting with XYZ right now, and I just want to make sure -- are you checking in with yourself? Are you hurting right now? Is there anything else you could be doing?"

The amount of times people came to me and said, "You're self-harming, stop it" (or worse yet, "you're encouraging self harm") because of how much I syscoursed... Each and every time, it made things worse. It did not make things better, ever. It made me more addicted.

That's because syscourse fulfills this psychological need for me, one that I've been working on filling in other ways. If I can fulfill my needs elsewhere, I don't need syscourse. I'm happy to report, I've gotten a lot better with this (though there are still days when I slip into it).

The thing about self harm is, it's a coping mechanism. It does something for the person doing it. And trying to stop cold turkey, or having everyone around you remind you constantly of How Bad It Is, does not actually do anything to provide tangible harm reduction strategies.

I don't really know if I'm the right one to provide those strategies. But I know I've had to make my own to handle syscourse.

Block liberally. If you participate in syscourse, you need to curate your spaces to hurt less. If that person always, always pisses you off, then block so you cannot see them, and preferably so they can't see you, hopefully. You don't need to play fair or give them a chance.

Consider private blogs. Does what you're saying NEED to be posted online, forever, for everyone to see? Private blogs give the same serotonin of "I am posted online, others will see it," without others... actually seeing it. You can also then look back on those posts when you feel particularly frustrated and let it out there, or even decide to go public later when you're in a better mindset.

Drafts. Make a draft, don't post immediately. This is harder said than done for me, especially in heated moments, but it's always better to come back to a post later with a cooler head. Moreover, I believe drafting something helps save it if OP ends up blocking you.

Check if you're blocked. You can actually do that, btw. Go to the replies function and do the drop down. If the blog name is completely greyed out, you're blocked. This... usually works, though sometimes I've had tumblr grey out a name that isn't actually blocked. It's a functional website. This helps a lot though, because nothing hurt more than writing up an impassioned response, only to get the "Oopsies doopsies something went wrong ):" banner pop up with all those words lost to the void.

Just a few tips there.

[auriidae]

YOUR GIRL GOT CLIP STUDIO PAINT. FOR THE FIRST TIME. AND I THINK I AM IN LOVE. JUST A LITTLE BIT i. ough. ouuououghhh.

just being able to move my stylus over the screen is a JOY i am being made aware that there is a slight delay on medibang that never consciously troubled me but ohhohohoh living without it is. i feel like i can breathe freely again or something YOU KNOW. and the sketch brush is so lovely and YOU CAN MAKE THE PENCIL BIGGER THAN 2.3 AND STILL HAVE IT LOOK CRUNCHY i am about to cry happy tears at that fact alone you guys have no idea <3333. at the mere mention of cels and fps for animation i nearly got up and started jumping around my room. and WAHHH i just tried out some of the other painting brushes just now and. guys. chat. chat <3

since i started trying to improve at digital art a few years ago i have lived under a code of Not Upgrading My Materials Until I Feel I Have Exhausted the Extent of What My Current Program Holds, because i feel like practical Skills/artistic knowledge and 'what one is able to create with the aid of materials' are two separate things and i've been trying to hone more the former than the latter. so i used chrome canvas (yeah the browser thing) for a while before downloading ibis. and i only switched from ibis to medibang when i felt like i knew it inside out. and for the past few years-ish i've been gathering more technical skills on medibang and finding out new stuff about it every few months, so it never really provided an issue. but recently i Have been feeling a little unsatisfied with the extent of what medibang provides for me. don't get me wrong it is such a fantastic program my beloved forever <3 and i still haven't found everything you can do with it BUT there are some things that i've thought of consciously like "you know, it would be cool to be able to make/do something like that" and tried various ways to carry it out through medibang before coming to some impasse or another. btw the only reason i got clip was bc it's on sale rn KJSDKF. but just looking through the tools and getting even an initial feel for the style of the program... i think it will be easier for me to focus on both the aspects of art that i feel i need work with and the ones that appeal to me with this :) and that is really really cool

anyways :)

[hopecomesbacktolife]

top 5 star trek episodes you’d recommend to a newbie

ahh I love this ask, thank you so much for sending it to me!!! I love Star Trek so much and I love to talk about it and share it with other people too 😊🫶🏻

tbh it was pretty hard for me to pick only five episodes haha, because I truly do love so many of them!! but, for example, some episodes I love for a specific reason; maybe they’re really gay/queer, or full of just absolute silliness, or have really good arcs focused on a specific topic or theme (war, aging, identity, religion, gender, home, race, politics, honor, etc) or I connect with them because I can relate based on experiences in my life; and some of them are incredible episodes but need a lot of background or buildup for the episode itself to pay off, so— not including any like that helped me to narrow it down quite a bit ☺️

I do also want to mention that I’ve only seen the older Star Treks; almost anything made past 2000/‘01 is still in the category of stuff I have yet to watch, so I’m only basing my recommendations on the ones I’ve seen!

that said, here’s five episodes that I would say are incredible, wonderful, amazing episodes, that give a good idea of what Star Trek is like as a whole, are watchable with little to no prior knowledge of the franchise, and show what this beautiful franchise is capable of 💗 the blurbs won’t have specific spoilers but general episode themes/motifs are mentioned as to some of the reasons I love these ones! I’ve listed them ranging from oldest to newest:

TOS season 1 episode 14: The Devil In The Dark

This one is an incredible episode about fearing the unknown, the hurt that can cause, the life-saving importance of showing empathy to that which is not understood, the importance of not reacting out of fear but out of compassion, and it’s got several really good moments for the core cast. It also gives a sense aesthetically of what TOS is like along with character dispositions, and is just all around a great episode! Beautiful classic lovely 60s campiness and philosophy and heartwarming hope 🫶🏻

TNG season 2 episode 9: The Measure Of A Man

This is probably one of the most famous episodes of Star Trek, and while that doesn’t always mean it’s a great (or, let’s be honest, even a passably good) episode… in this case, it truly is! The episode revolves around what constitutes humanity, what constitutes consciousness, and whether one being has the right to proclaim that status, or the lack thereof, upon another being. fans of The Hunchback of Notre Dame will love this episode (it’s me I’m fans!) because it deals with a lot of the same motifs. also standing up to a govt. system when that system is causing harm. also telling bigots to shove it in the name of compassion and human(etc) rights. 10/10 of an episode, with the cherry on top of lots of incredible, impassioned Patrick Stewart speeches. *chefs kiss* what a good episode and intro to TNG!

DS9 season 1 episode 19: Duet

Ough, this episode. Perhaps one of the most relevant-to-today episodes from the 1990s, not just in trek but across any media. Themes of war, what it means to be an oppressor, what it means to be a bystander, what it means to be stuck in a system you feel like you have no choice but to comply with, the immeasurable guilt following an absence of protesting to horrible things, anger and rage and grief and sadness and harshness and tenderness and. I just.

I’m biased toward this episode because one of my favorite characters of all time is one of the main focuses in this one, but it’s truly just so good. It’s one of those episodes without a happy ending, without a “neat” or simple answer to the question it posits; it asks it of the audience, then shows you various potential arguments around the topic, but the issue itself is so vast that rather than trying to answer it it leaves the question open, and imho is all the more poignant for doing so. it’s about how violence harms and harms and harms and reacting with anger, and reacting with compassion, and both, and neither, and more, and autonomy, and accountability, and just. it’s really, really good.

Voyager season 5 episode 2, Drone

this is another one that just tugs on my heart every time, and I’m left weeping by the end of every single rewatch. Voyager is particularly incredible at examining over and over again throughout its’ seasons: what does it mean to be human? To have autonomy? To be recognized as an equal? To have rights? What happens when you make choices others don’t agree with? Will they respect it? Do they respect you?

This episode deals with a lot of those themes, but by using a character who, over the course of the show, repeatedly grapples with her own complicated self-image and continually fluctuating view of her own humanity (or lack of) and then bringing in a character who is half mirror of this half everything just beyond her reach, and their learning from each other, it’s… it’s truly one of the best episodes in the series, I think. It’s beautiful and emotive and endearing and heartfelt and happy and oh-so-sad and just. it’s so good.

(if parts of this episode are vaguely confusing— why does that lady have that on her face?— a very, very preliminary skim of the Wikipedia article on the Borg should provide some context, but almost none is necessary for the purposes of watching this episode, I don’t think! Just wanted to throw that in there in case it was needed ☺️)

Voyager season 6 episode 12: Blink Of An Eye

I realized that a lot of the episodes I listed here tend towards the more heavy-emotional side, and I wanted to be sure I included an episode with a much more hopeful, optimistic, (as Tolkien would say) love-mingled-with-grief kind of happiness about it, and one that’s really focused on a scientific marvel and filled with wonder and is at once vast and yet deeply personal and evocative; this episode fits that perfectly! I truly adore this episode for so many reasons; it’s a beautifully lovely premise, it’s done incredibly well, it toes the line between melancholic-yet-hopeful and straight-up sad with great skill, it’s got so many fun science ideas in it, it’s an homage to scientists and sci-fi and hope and dreaming and faith and fact and love and family and friendship and love and loss and, I just. I really love this one. It’s one of the most comforting episodes of Star Trek to me, it’s like a hug in episode form. I truly love it, I love how the characters get to act in it, I love the themes and motifs it plays with and how it does so, it’s a beautifully shot episode, and it makes me feel so many emotions. It’s so good, *chefs kiss* 10/10 🫶🏻

There’s many more that are incredible, fantastic episodes, but these five include some of my favorites that are also watchable without really any prior trek knowledge, and to me are some of the best of trek as well 🖖🏻💗 I truly hope you enjoy them, and if you ever feel like chatting about them or Star Trek in general, my ask box and messages are always open!! I hope you have so much fun watching 😊

oh ps. tos = the original series (1960s), tng = the next generation (late 80s- early 90s), ds9 = deep space nine (90s) and voyager is also from the 90s! and this 🖖🏻 is the Vulcan salute, it’s like a sign of respect and friendliness when shown ☺️

[fishareglorious]

the last stage. its been an honor, everyone. (to fucking bawl my eyes out and scream over everything that's happened here.)

the very last chapter. i dread the isolde boss fight, from what ive heard of its difficulty.

something in kakania snapped after all of everything has happened, huh?

oh...shit? kakania's tone here impassive and cold, and her words are nothing more but straight to the point now.

all that excited rambling she tends to get into, her gentleness and kindness when face-to-face with isolde in their previous interactions is completely gone now.

there's a metaphor in here somewhere, i think. something something isolde asking for kakania to dim the lights, distressed and uncomfortable, but kakania ignores her and keeps pressing on.

DAMN....!!! she's dropped all pretense of niceties when it comes to isolde.

if all of these are the complete truth and not obfuscated by kakania being a little bit to the left as someone interpreting things through the irrors, its a really good insight into a lot of things i had a lot of questions towards. so that's how the dittarsdorf siblings met manus and subsequently arcana. that's why theophil died. that's why isolde shot him.

oh, she's really not taking any more bullshit huh?

the dreaded final boss of this patch. the mang inasal gc told me if i dont have a unit that has burn i should pick a god and pray which. shit

if i somehow fumble this im never doing this boss again for the entire week

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

holy SHIT things just became real shit real quick. kakania throwing away her own (as we know, a very strong) personal moral code just for this? things just got realllll wtf

exactly what isolde said.

oughe isolde.... oh girl........... for kakania to break your trust and also her own morals like that......

THESE LESBIANS REALLY ARE TOXIC AND DOOMED

i have no more words. god.

forgive me for trying to find humor in a very grave situation but it cracks me up how isolde suddenly breaks into singing after kakania hypnotixes her. like girl this isn't highschool musical you just recently murdered three people

YOU.

oh, theophil voice!

why am i thinking about the alaskan bullworm at the discussion of circles here😭😭😭

maybe the E lucevan le stelle was inside us all along.............

aw marcus... you and kakania did a great job. you guys really did it, despite the odds stacked against you.

unfortunately this storm ritual isnt quite what it is which is. yeah.

NOT THE GENTLE HOPE BGM PLAYING????? NO. THAT SONG ALWAYS EVOKES A PROFOUND SENSE OF SADNESS IN ME.... augeh aughe ouaghe uagehageioua

and god, lucy. what a bloodshed the next 22 hours will be.

the end.

i need a drink.

finally playing chapter 6. i'm putting everything under cut for the sake of not spoiling people and because i might go off the shits.

anyways: i'll be bringing up the events that'll happen in the later stages constantly. also will mention chapter 7 (patch 1.9) spoilers in detail so watch out.

isolde on the torture chair once again.

since i like reading up on medical history i am curious a little bit on the actual historical accounts of EST. while im mainly more interested in the realm of epidemiology instead of neurosciences and general psychology stuff i might fall into a deep dive of this topic later lol. who knows.

.... eee. a sad truth.

ehm. not really.

ah were back for the regularly scheduled arcanist discrimination i guess

SLAYYYYY KAKANIA'S HERE

oh. yeah i forgot kakania's a med school dropout with a practice that's definitely not legal.

can't. hold schwartz against that sigmund freud was a... weird guy. especially with his oedipus complex thing

we back on laplace. also what the fuck is up with these guys. didn't matilda and sotheby run into one of of them covered in weird slime in The Star

MANUS MASKS????!!! WHAT THE FUCK STOP EXPERIMENTING WITH MANUS GOOP!??!?!!!

FUCK. IS THAT WHY PEOPLE STARTED TURNING INTO MANUS MONSTERS IN CHAP 7.

STOP THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW.

the forehead slap i just did can be heard all the way down the marinara ocean. like fuck offffffffffffff. luc's such a funny bastard she has the most serious robotic voice yet she does stupid comedic shit like this. i love you you funny tin woman

... at the expense of the majority of your staff? god with my knowledge on chapter 7 im constantly going 😬 here not going to lie.

!!!????? HE SHOVED A BALLPOINT INTO HIS EYE???? OH MY FUCKING GOD?

i kindave feel for medpoc if I was them i would be biting the shit out of lucy right now in utter frustration of her callousness

an unfortunate nickname for them, but that's semmelweis' team!

all we know from echoes in the mountain's story has set up quite some of the happenings for this chapter.

[tinyplanetss]

"they let you rant, and there is violence in their impassiveness" HOLY SHIT AABRIA THATS A BANGER LINE the violence in staying silent and not caring. OUGH

[thuskindlyshescatters]

Hi I need you to know that your The Killing Kind AMV bangs literally so hard, actually all your AMVs do, but especially that one. There's a couple of parts that stick in my mind, namely:

-Ozma being timed from "what if I was wrong for never moving on" ough and the part that follows right after it with the "you were haunted to" and Salem looking into her cup augh

-In general I adore the use of the colors being faded out then returning

-The music building and you using those shots from the intros ESPECIALLY opening shot of "This Will Be the Day" of Ruby infront of Summer's grave with that building music makes me SOOOO excited

-SYNCING UP RAVEN TALKING TO " I KNOW MY LOVE IS THE KILLING KIND"!!!! THIS PART HAUNTS ME I THINK ABOUT IT DAILY

-The part with Summer of "you still haunt the corners of my heart" LIKE YESSS YESSS SHE DOES SHE DOES

-Honestly I love how much you use the flashes of memories throughout your AMVs it's really adds to it, but what really seals it for me within this AMV is when you grabbed the actual clips, it was just. So nostalgia inducing? I think about it sooooo much

(For those unfamiliar, here's the video we're talking about)

There's a reason I'm quite pleased that this video's my most popular one -- to this day, I still consider it my finest work! It never ceases to thrill me when someone like you not only picks up on all my favorite details/signs of the effusive effort I put into this video, but also feels impassioned enough by it to express your enthusiasm with such glowing specificity :D Thanks for the ask!

[missmarrypotter]

Tommy ain’t always right, You know!?

Finn Shelby x OC (Olive)❤️

I'm just so in love with this boy, Finn is an angel!!

WARNING: making out!? but more fluff i think

English it not my first language so please excuse my mistakes.🤗

She grabbed her Jacked and rushed out of the office. The look she shot Thomas Shelby before stepping outside was full of disappointment and blankness. She didn’t wait for any respond.  “You need to be a man … bullshit he does ..” she mumbled to herself, running through the hidden, dark and smoke filled alleys of Birmingham. It was much colder than she thought, the fresh air of the night burning in her lungs from running.

“Finn!!!”, She almost shouted at her Childhood Friend who was about to disappear behind yet another corner.

“Finn fuckin Shelby!! Wait.”

He stopped right there, turning around. He Looked tired. But when he recognized her he put on a smile, waiting for her to reach him.

“Olive, what’s with ya!?”, he was quiet amused seeing her breathless like that. “Why did ya run!?”

“Cause those legs ya got there are like twice as long as mine ..” she explained gasping, pulling him into a hug.

He hugged her back, stroking her dark brown hair carefully.

“Did anythin happen? Ya alright?!” He asked, tensed and sounding slightly worried. He relaxed when she shook her head, sighting in relief. She interrupted the hug and took a step back.

“ I was in the room as well when ...ya know.. that talk with Tommy and stuff   ” she told him, looking right into his blueish green eyes, waiting for his reaction.

He looked down at his feet, his jaw clenched. He looked kind of ashamed and guilty at the same time.

Silence. Just for Seconds but it felt like hours. Finn fumbled around with his hands while Olive nibbled on her chin long hair.

“I liked what ya said back there” She cleared the silence, scratching the back of her head.

He looked at her with lots of confusion in his eyes.

“ Wha .. are ya shitting me!?” He asked, not really believing what he just heard.

He thought Olive would react completely different. He thought she would scold him for losing his virginity to some whore Lizzie, Aunt Polly and Linda rented for him. She grew up in a brothel herself since she was 6 years old. Madam Adley found her that age and adopted her into her family. Schooled her. Fed her. Sarah Adley had no children on her own so her Ladies were her family. Her daughters. She treated them all very well. Her business was for the high society only. For rich Men and Women to forget and enjoy themselves. Olive herself had worked there for a year when she turned 16.

To secure her loved ones safety Madam collaborated with the Peaky Blinders. They kept violent lovers away and made sure everybody paid and in return the girls gave some informations about their clients or their Bodys to the Blinders.

Through that Finn and Olive met at the very young age of 7. They soon bonded and the Shelbys became the girls second family. She proved herself trustworthy very quick and her big green eyes, her open, loving nature as a child and later her charming smile and her feminine curves were often very helpful to interact with new allies or enemies. She had a very sharp mouth if she had to and never lost her words. But she could also be as quiet and nondescript as a mouse so no one would notice her like today in the office. They even allowed her to stay through family meetings since no private conversation she witnessed had ever met a third ones ear. They loved her and she loved them. Apparently some more and in a different way than others. Tommy decided to employ her as a gift for her 17th birthday. She was good with customers and numbers and that way they were able to look after her. Win Win Situation for everyone. Finn secretly was very happy about that. So his Olive didn't had to do these humiliating things anymore. He never thought he would ever in his life have sex against payment himself because the thought of someone buying his girls body made him sick so many times. Buying a person like some object just sounded so wrong to him even if it seemed to be normal for his brothers. He always imagined his first time a completely different way. With someone he loved. Someone who wanted him. To be honest he always thought it would be with her. But he was too shy to make a move. He always thought he wasn’t good enough for her. Not manly enough. Not experienced enough.

If only he knew she wished the same thing.

But since she had to help her Mother out back then to safe her Business, she felt dirty. She was happy to help, she always was. On the other hand she didn't feel good enough for the boy she took a liking in anymore. So she never made a move as well. But now she had to say something. She had to tell him how much of a man he was to her. Has always been.

Out of the sudden she smiled. She just happily smiled at him, giving him chills.

“I don't want it like that ever again, tom.

Not when they don't even want to do it , expect for the money.” She repeated his words from earlier, taking his hands.

“It made me so fucking happy when you said that.” She whispered squeezing his hands, taking a step forward.

A perplexed Finn gently placed his chin on the top of her head.

“ But Tommy was right when he said that everyone gets tired. That everything these days is for money. That i need to be a man” he muttered into her hair, placing a little kiss there without even realizing it.

“But you are a man, Finn”

She loved the shelby boys a lot. But She honestly never would have wanted to trade with any of their woman. She wanted someone she could rely on. Someone she didn't have to fear about not coming home because he picked unnecessary fights that started people and himself getting killed . Someone who didn't yell all the time. Someone who wouldn't keep secrets from her. Someone who would never look at another woman the way he looked at her. Someone who would never cheat. Someone like Finn.

She got up on her tiptoes, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck, hugging him as tight as she could. He placed his hands on her back, pressing her body against his.

“Tommy was right that there is an empty space to be filled now that John is dead. And yes everybody gets tired someday.But that does not mean you have to become like them. There is nothing wrong with not fighting everything, anytime, at any cost. There is nothing wrong with wanting love instead of a quick fuck. Because so do i .. ”

Her last words were almost too quiet to hear them, but he did. She gently kissed his cheek  before she let him out of her squeeze, taking his hands once again. He Was speechless. Did he hear it right!? Did she mean that she wanted him or just true love in general!?

His breathing was too slow to see any movement on his chest but his heart did the exact opposite. It was about to explode.

“And even though it might sound crazy …. Tommy ain’t always right, You know!?. Not everything is for money. True love ain’t . He should know that better than anyone.. god that sounds like such a cliche” she laughed, letting go of his hands. But as soon as she did so his right hand was right back around her wrist, pulling her closer while he placed his other one on her cheek, caressing it gently with his thumb.

“Good. Cause i don't have any fuckin money .. but i luv ya so much”, he whispered into her ear. His voice was raspy and slightly shaking from nervousness and the freezing aerial. Both of their hearts stopped right there, both holding their breaths.

He laid his forehead against hers, brushing her nose with his, their lips almost touching.

As he managed to respire again his hot breath brushed over her ice cold lips. Now there were Goosebumps all over her body. She wanted to say something. She wanted to say those words back but her vocal cords wouldn’t allow it. Instead her hands just grabbed his soft cheeks, closing the small gap between their lips. Out of the sudden her whole body seemed to warm up. By the touch of his soft lips. By his hand clawing into the hair of the back of her head in response while his other hand found its way to her hip, holding into her tight. Their Lips seemed to perfectly match up. Their movements slow but impassioned. Finn Tasted like whisky and cigarettes while Olive tasted more like plums and black tea. It was a perfect combination. Soon things heated up. Finn had her pinned against the wall of some house, his hands on her bum to hold her up. Her thighs were wrapped around his waist, the right hand gently tugging his hair while her left one softly scratched his neck. The desire they both kept a secret for a quiet long time finally turned into something real.

Finns tongue slid over her bottom lip, before allowing them a break to take a breath. Both were heavily panting when they heard a suggestive whistle.

It was Isaiah. Standing there with his hands in his pockets, grinning from one ear to the other.

“Well if the two of ya are done swallowing each other we could head to the Garrisons like we planned, aye!?” he teasingly said.

“Ough i totally forgot…” finn said, setting Olive down. Both of them fixed their hair and cloth as much as possible before walking over to their friend. Isaiah laid his arms around his mates still grinning widely.

“Finally guys, finally!” He laughed.

Finn and Olive shot each other a approving look.

“Well we know ya going to tell everyone about this Issy, so please make sure to tell Pol, Linda and Liz as well so they don't feel the need to rent my boyfriend a whore ever again, yep!?”

“I totally will sweetheart, everything for my love birds” he assured.

At the Garrisons everyone congratulated them like they've just announced their wedding or something. They were really sweet and supportive. Tommy, Arthur and Polly each gave them a speech about the birds and the bees and how they would support them if Finn would get her pregnant anytime soon but that they'd prefer if there was no need to. It was really weird but fun at the same time. When the Garrisons cleared up Tommy offered to drive the two young ones home. They gratefully refused. A walk home, just the two of them would be perfect now. They said goodbye to everyone, leaving hand in hand. Finn walked her home to Madam Adley's house, never letting go of her hand. As they arrived he walked her to the door. He leaned against the frame of the big wooden door, letting go of her hand. She turned to face him. She had the happiest expression he had ever seen on her.

“I love you too , Finn.”

He softly smiled, pecking her nose.

“I know. But you saying it …. Feels damn awesome, Luv” he chuckled. She jokingly rolled her eyes at him, fumbling around with his jacked.

“I'd love to have company while sleeping tonight, Finn” she mumbled, slightly smirking.

He slightly blushed, brushing some hair behind her right ear.

“ Sure can do, Babygirl” he just smirked and kissed his girl lovingly. Then he picking her up, carrying her inside.

Things went a little different than actually planned. Madam and some of the girls were still awake and insisted that instead of doing god knows what they should join them for some drinks. They did. So everything that happened tonight was one of Olives sisters vomiting, Sarah Adley offering Finn to come by anytime as long as he treated her daughter well and 6 bottles of wine being destroyed. After that both of them just fell into bed, immediately falling asleep in each others arms. In the morning both of them just stayed in there, trying to sleep their massive hangover away. Honestly it was kind of a good start in their relationship. Things would happen sooner or later so why rush in. The important thing was that their relationship was  clarified and official now and everyone supported them. The future would settle the rest.