#at a child's birthday party with pop songs about sex playing

[novadellano]

“I JUST WANT TO FEEL SOMETHING; TELL ME WHERE TO GO...”

INTRODUCING…

NAME: Nova Christine Dellano

PROFESSIONALLY/UNIVERSALLY KNOWN AS: Nova

GENDER & PREFERRED PRONOUNS: Gender nonconforming { She/They }

AGE: 30

BIRTHDAY: September 29, 1992

ZODIAC: Libra Sun, Leo Moon, Scorpio Rising

SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC IDENTITY: Bisexual & Panromantic { hates the labels though}

FACE CLAIM: Ashley Frangipane { Halsey }

LABEL: The Hurricane

OCCUPATION: Singer/Songwriter

HOMETOWN: Edison, NJ

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Asbury Park, NJ

PET(S): Pitbull mix named Vader and an Epaulette shark named Floyd

FUN FACT: She can write a song in under 5 minutes

CHARACTER PLAYLIST: HERE.

UP NEXT: “NIGHTMARE” BY HALSEY NOVA

BIOGRAPHY: TW DRUGS, OVERDOSE

Nova was born in Asbury Park, NJ. Her mother a teacher, whilst her father was a tattoo artist. Due to their jobs, they were rarely around and that left Nova to her grandmother until one or both of her parents were off of work.Being an only child led Nova to be plagued by boredom. It was because of this, that she fell into the wrong kind of friend group (as per what parents would say). It only became easier for Nova to sneak onto the train to NYC in order to meet up with these friends, once she was old enough that she did not need her grandmother’s supervision. This time in her life was surrounded by hard drugs, crashing college parties, and bar-hopping whilst under-age but with legal-aged friends. Though most would see this as a ‘dark’ or ‘rough’ time of their life, she claims it was pivotal to understanding just how independent and creative she actually was. Nova’s ‘mentor/mom’ friend was the one who taught her art that was far more advanced and freeing than just doodling in the margins of her notebooks. It was during her impromptu escapes to NYC on the weekends that she found herself in an actual art studio or in this friend’s shitty NYC apartment just honing in and developing her own craft. It was also at this time, during her middle school and high school careers, where the friend’s boyfriend taught her how to play guitar and the piano during Nova’s visits. These two friends were more-so parental figures to Nova, and she credits them to being the beacon of her support system when she was figuring out who she genuinely was outside of her birth parents’ pressures/ideals.When the time came to go to college, Nova lied to her parents about going for law and instead went for fine art with a minor in music. When she was in her third year of college (age of 20), the two friends who doubled as parental figures to her died of OD. Instead of dropping out of school due to the traumatic impact, her professors influenced her into sticking it out for one more year until she obtained her degree.During her fourth year of college (age 21), was when she found herself going viral online. It all started with the senior project: she had to make a song. Nova utilized the loss of her two friends and their story, mixing her writing with the sound of grunge and punk-rock. It was an ode to her friends, seeing that Nirvana and The Sex Pistols would be blaring whenever she was visiting them. Little did she know that when she posted it to her Tumblr and sent the link to her professor, that the song would blow up overnight - that SHE would blow up overnight.It was an instance of timing and being what society needed, though she wasn’t sure if fame was really what she wanted. She wound up releasing the discarded songs that she didn’t choose for the final project and created an EP due to the listeners’ requests, which landed her on the radio without a label. It was at this time that her parents found out the truth about her studies and cut off communication once she fought back about not changing paths (she still doesn’t talk to them to this day). The lack of support stung, and seeing a label as a support system (a ‘forced family’) she eagerly signed on without a second thought.The label was trying to force a more bubble-gum synthetic pop on her, which she fought tooth and nail over as well as led her into a PR relationship that she came out of with battle scars. Another label bought her out of her contract, and since then she found a safe place to grow and re-discover herself time and time again with limitless support. Currently, Nova found herself settling in Asbury Park. She finds the environment very other-worldly and she’s comfortable being herself here - it’s one of the only places, other than being onstage, that makes her feel ‘at home.’

PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

Nova is bubbly, but withdrawn. She’s loyal, but it takes her awhile to trust someone enough to become loyal to them. Her image is all over the place because she struggles in finding her true identity; It’s why she hates labels of any kind, but she’s becoming more accepting of herself as time goes on. She’s anti-societal norms and tends to feel for the underdogs, though her empathy is a mess. She is passionate about her beliefs and values, and her passion can be negative in the ways of her becoming argumentative and combative. She feels too much, way too quickly. This causes a sense of her leading people on, or even paints her to be a flakey friend when that’s not the case; She sometimes just shuts down and needs her space to further process and try to make sense of her own emotions at times. But this empathy also helps her read others and she’s a good therapist type of friend because of it. She’s all about individuality and is super supportive to others, sometimes unbearingly so because of her past of lack of having a support system. She has no luck in love, which is something she’s accepted more so over the past couple years. She’s always the one who puts in the most effort; Always the one who loves the other more than they love her. And if it is a good match, she winds up ruining it for herself. It’s very Kurt Cobain of her, but she genuinely does self-destruct for the amusement of others and as a way of self-harm though she will never admit it to herself. Her self-destruction can also come across as her being free-spirited and adventurous in the ways of impulse - which makes for great nights and morning stories. Lately she’s been struggling with not quitting music because she feels like the music only sells when she’s writing songs that are about her struggles, which makes her feel as though people only value her when she’s hurting. The only thing that’s keeping her in the business is her fandom, but that’s sort of on the back-burner. She’s all for free love and hookups. Very “normalize kissing the homies” type of person, and shows affection freely.

PERSONALITY:

+ Magnetic, Empathetic, and Apolaustic

- Enigmatic, Self-Destructive, and Impulsive

TROPES:

the damsel errant, the ‘silly rabbit, cynicism is for losers!’, the serial juliet, the blithe spirit, the black sheep, the ‘lives for the weekend’, the paint splatter, the ‘girls love musicians’, the pastiche, the pint-sized powerhouse, the little miss badass, the queen of the barricade, the fairy in combat boots

[sebastianshaw]

Meme from "Broad City" quotes

“You said if you were ever going to do same sex experimentation, it was going to be with me.”

"Who would you rather go down on you? Michael Bublé or Janet Jackson?”

“Can Janet Jackson go down on me while Michael Bublé narrates it in song?”

“What’s an Arch de Triumph?”

“It’s when two dudes go down on us, is how I picture it, and they’re butt to butt and then you and I do Oprah hands.”

“I really don’t feel like going into work today.”

"Great, I’ll see you in 30 days then. . . biiiiitch.”

“Maybe your dad should have pulled out.”

“I need someone for the amazing race because my mom just pulled out.”

“I also have business with the bank. I’d like to cash these nickels, and I’ll have them in quarters, please. Thank you so much.”

“I’m a sexual X-Man. I’m Wolverine. I’m Vulvarine!”

"Oh my Lady God, thank you!"

“The vagina is nature’s pocket. It’s natural and responsible.”

“I would take you on my shoulders – like I’d strap you up and be like, ‘Let’s go through helllll.’”

“I’m not sexually aroused, I’m fiscally aroused.”

“That’s literally a one stop pussy shop. I love it!”

“I finally figured out my eyebrows, They’re sisters, not twins.”

“Four R’s, my friend-- Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Rihanna.”

“Statistically we’re headed toward an age where everybody’s going to be, like, caramel and queer.”

“I’m an adult and I’m responsible. Let’s go get some candy.”

“I finally masturbated above the covers without my eyes being closed.”

“I just want to get home and watch my shows.”

"You just pulled a bag of pot out of your vagina."

"Do you ever get hair from your head stuck in your buttcrack in the shower?"

"I'm still not over Amy Winehouse."

"I can't really imagine what it's like for people with blue eyes."

"This isn't a sugar daddy thing. This is just an old established guy paying for his younger friend who he also has sex with kind of thing."

"You're like 12, right?"

"I love me some dumplings. It's like a squirrel clutch with a meatball in it."

"I was so worried I baked a whole cake and then I ate a whole cake."

"In da clerb, we all fam."

"I know you from your ass better than I know your face."

"I respect you respecting me."

"You know what's cool about this party? We're the sexiest girls here."

"I'll pick up your poop. You're worth it."

"This is what living on the edge looks like."

"You got beauty. You got brains. You're a fucking genius. Do you wanna kiss?"

"You look sexy and vivacious and artsy and, like, young-wife material but, like, taut and teasy still. It's a perfect combo."

“Witches aren’t monsters, they’re just women! They’re fucking women who cum and giggle and play in the night. And that’s why everybody wants to set them on fire ‘cause they’re so fucking jealous."

"YAS KWEEN!"

“I AM NOT A MOM!”

"You never know if you never try and if you never try you never know."

“I’m only 27, what am I? A child bride?”

"You have been busting my balls all day over a sahaaaandwich shahooppe?!"

"I don’t watch anything but solo porn because regular porn is like, “Shut up, little girl! Wash my feet!” And she’s like "uhhh don’t tell my dad ok? Because I’m just barely legal. I love shaved pubes and tanned, crispy bellies and taints.” It’s like ugh!"

"I don’t have any money. I’m a wittle baby."

“Buckle up, buttercup”

"Money is a mind control technique that used to quantify the progress of the patriarchy!"

"Nose, vagina, butthole. If God didn’t want us to put our fingers up then then why did She make them perfectly finger sized ?"

"I’ll see you when u wake up, and if you don’t wake up I’ll still see you cause I’m gonna kill myself and meet you in heaven or whatever.”

"If you train your eyes, you can see their religion”

“I know it’s like “pwease Mr. Cwusty old white man, can I pwease keep my ovaries?” Alright bitch you better vote, text me when you do”

“I mean we had been together how long, and I still never saw nipples?”

“OOPS I guess I don’t know my own strength”

“Pillows are nature’s packing peanuts!”

“The student has become the teacher!”

"This is some high class shit."

"It's 2014. Anal is on the menu."

"Where ISN'T the bathroom?"

"I was cyberbullied within an INCH of my life last night"

“I saw your tweets and I wanted to check you out but I also wanted to respect your space”

"I am going to respect your dick later."

“You’re my lil cupcake”

“I once ate a corn on the cob. Including the cob”

"Ugh, who YELLS?"

"GET OFF THE BALLS AND GO!"

"Wanna get, like, a bunch of hot dogs?"

"Did you draw that painting?"

“You have to swipe yaas, you can’t swipe naas.”

“I fucked you in the ASS the first night we did ANYTHING. I think that’s pretty fuckin mature."

"Well aren't you a hot diggity dog and a scalawag to boot?"

"In the club, we are all family. Are you racist?"

“Welcome to Florida, America’s droopy dick”

"This is the men's room. Uh DOIIII!"

“You’re so full of shit I need a plunger."

“Thank you SO much for calling me a star”

"I'm an adult. I should be buying my own pot."

"Coat racks AREN'T for babies!"

"My biggest weakness is that I lose my purse a lot. But my biggest strength is that I always get it back."

"I like to call it jazz becomes it comes out of my horn, and you never know where it's gunna go."

"White people do that dog thing. Black people don't make out with dogs."

"Next thing you know you're pregnant with his sperm and he's sanding down your headboard shirtless."

"We are garbage people living on garbage island!"

"I didn't know you had a veneer and I'm in that mouth on a regular basis."

"I'm not putting weed up inside of me because I'm an adult and I'm responsible."

"I really think you should put your weed in your front hole."

“We’re technically homeless right now.”

"Your ass looks incredible."

"Your ass looks incredible. Your head and body too. But we all know who’s the star of the show here.”

“Who am I? Honey, I have a cyst on my uterus and I need to get fucked until it pops.”

“You want me to FaceTime from the bathroom?”

“Dude, I would follow you into hell, brother!”

“Well, you are funny.”

"Animated movies are where it's at. They're like visual crack."

"All Hollywood media is porn, and all porn is kiddie porn. We live in a rape culture. We just do."

"Who would leave weed in a wall? A weed genius. And she'd leave it there indefinitely in case of emergency."

"Isn't it nuts that pickles were cucumbers? They're the trans people of the vegetable community."

"We are an incredible team and I love you."

"Smart and sexy. She is unreal, this girl."

"I've been overeating this week."

"How DARE you LIE to your WIFE?!"

"Do I or do I not have herpes?"

"Follow your third eye--your clit."

"It's my birthday, I'M KING OF THE WORLD!"

"I mean, the female form---God's hottest creation."

"You have to respect the sanctity of the RSVP."

"Okay, something seems very locked up inside of you."

"You have a way of tainting everything I love."

"I'm gonna be like a successful artist any day now."

"Yeah, I don't wanna rise and grind anymore. I wanna rise and then like lay back down."

"It's like we knew it would happen but we didn't do anything about it."

"ADRENALINE!"

"To be honest, I'm really happy with the way I look."

"WANNA FOOK?"

"Never have I ever read a newspaper."

"This is what living on the edge looks like."

[phoenixfeatherquill]

Midwinter (3/5)

AN:  More smut!

In Pelle’s dreams, he saw her dancing. 

It was the first time she smiled. No, that wasn’t right. She had smiled when he had given her the birthday sketch, touched that someone remembered her. That someone saw her. But while the smile had been sincere, it was tinged with Christian disappointing her. Christian hurting her. Even his art could not overcome that. 

But when she danced with her future handmaids, she forgot her pain. She was caught up in the embrace of his family, the exhilaration of the dance, and became…joyous. She laughed like a child, threw her hair back as she held the hands of her handmaids. Her laughter touched something deep inside Pelle and he knew in that singular moment that he wanted to make her laugh, make her smile, bring her joy…forever. And when her excitement disappeared, when she caught Christian’s disapproving gaze and her face fell…Pelle knew he wanted Christian to suffer. And suffer he did. 

But in this dream, it was not the violent music of the villagers that he saw Dani listen to. Instead, it was a woman’s voice, someone who sounded like his mother, singing a lullaby or a folk song from long ago. He realized with a jolt that it was the same song, but darker, slower, more melodic. And as Dani danced, a shadowy figure appeared and danced with her. The figure had hoofed feet and played the fiddle for her. He looked familiar to Pelle, like a younger version of his father, perhaps, but his eyes gleamed in the darkness. No, that wasn’t right…the eyes were burning like hot embers. The way the temple burned to the ground in front of them all last summer. But Dani was entranced and jubilant. 

The song was a popular folk song played all over Sweden, covered by everyone from metal bands to choirs. It told the tale of the devil disguising himself as a fiddler and leading a group of young women away from the comforts of their village into an eternal orgasmic dance until they fell to their feet. 

The Christian implications were clear. The Devil seducing wayward women who forgot their new God too easily. But for the Hårga, the meaning was obscured. The dark one, too easily defined by the Christians as the Devil, led the women in a willing sacrificial dance. They gave up their lives for the sake of the village, as was their way. And the dark one was not one half of a simplistic theological binary. He—or she, depending on the tale—was far more complex. The dark one represented the bloody darkness of sacrifice, of sexual desire, the pain of birth, the rot of and stink of decay, everything that was accepted and part of the life of the Hårga. Not as something to be feared or a punishment, but all part of a glorious dance. 

In his dream, he saw the fiddler dance with Dani. But instead of her falling to her death, the fiddler stopped his mysterious melody. He knelt before her and Pelle recognized the fiddler as himself—but shrouded in darkness with cloven feet. Dani touched the crown of his head. For she was the goddess. His goddess. 

Pelle’s eyes flicked open. Dani was nestled against his chest and his heartbeat sped as he looked at her. He dreamed of her as his May Queen, yes, but there was something more to the dream. The gods had sent it, surely. Dani was something more than their May Queen, their future leader. But what? 

He could not interpret dreams on an empty stomach. He wanted hot coffee and a large breakfast ready for Dani when she awoke. So he gently kissed her forehead and rolled away from her. She frowned in her sleep at the absence of his warmth and he stroked her head gently before heading downstairs. 

**** 

When Dani awoke, she was alone. 

She sleepily stretched out her arm, searching for Pelle’s warmth. She felt nothing but cold sheets and her eyes shot open. 

Winter sunlight flooded the master bedroom. She blinked blearily at her surroundings. Memories from last night flooded her mind, the black dress, the Hårga’s harmonies, Pelle’s tongue…heat filled her cheeks. 

She sat up a little and moved towards the left-hand window next to her bed. Snow blanketed the ground and frosted the trees. It looked like something out of a fairytale, out of Narnia. It was beautifully inviting and she felt the intense urge to walk around in it. She swallowed. Her family had died the night of a terrible snowstorm. Snow always seemed ominous and cruel. But here… 

She wrapped her blankets around her and she wondered again where Pelle went off to. Was he mad at her? Sometimes when she didn’t want to have sex but still wanted to cuddle with Christian, he’d get angry and leave in the middle of the night. She’d be too embarrassed to bring it up in the morning, and Christian would refuse to speak to her, icily drinking his coffee. This didn’t seem like something Pelle would do, but surely he’d heard Christian’s complaints… 

Dani hugged her knees and listened. She thought she could hear movement downstairs. “Pelle?” She called out tentatively. 

There was no response. She hugged her knees a little tighter and let the dread rise in her chest. 

Before panic could completely consume her, her door popped open and Pelle peered inside. 

“Did you call me?” He looked at her in concern, huddled in her blankets. “I was making you coffee. And some breakfast.” 

“I thought you might have left.” 

She winced—the words sounded pathetic out loud. But Pelle cocked his head, a little like a spaniel. 

“Go? Where would I go?” He teased. 

“I—I don’t know,” Dani mumbled. He went to her and sat on the corner of the bed. He touched squeezed her knee. 

“Sorry,” She rested her head on her knees. “I’m being paranoid. Christian would get mad at me if I didn’t—mornings would be awkward.”

Pelle frowned at that. “Why on earth would I be mad at you?” 

Dani combed her fingers through her hair. “I just don’t like waking up alone.” 

His eyes widened. She looked away from him in embarrassment. He came fully on the bed and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into his warmth and the two of them fell softly onto the bed. 

“I will never let you wake up alone again,” He murmured in her ear. “I promise. Forgive me?” 

There was nothing to forgive. She rested her head on his chest and listened to the sound of his heartbeat. 

“Did you sleep all right?” He asked. “Would you like me to bring you your breakfast?” 

She nodded, still embarrassed. He held her warmly and stood, making his way out of the bedroom to retrieve it. 

He returned with a tea tray with a large silver coffeepot and thick white mugs. She noticed thin, dark slices of toasted bread on the tray and an assortment of spreads. She had been in Sweden long enough to recognize the fare, which included butter, cheese, thin slices of ham, pickles, cucumber, and tomatoes. 

“And something else,” Pelle said with a smile. He brought another plate that was stacked with waffles and Dani beamed. 

“I love waffles,” She took the plate and happily started eating. “My favorite food.” 

“I know.” 

Dani snorted. “Did Christian tell you that?” 

Pelle shook his head. “Do you remember when we first met?” 

She thought for a moment. Meeting Pelle? Honestly, meeting Christian’s friends had blurred together. She had seen them sporadically, the nights she spent at Christian’s apartment, the parties she accompanied him at. She didn’t remember the first time she met Pelle. 

“I know Christian introduced us,” She offered hesitantly. “But I don’t remember exactly when. Sorry.” 

Pelle shrugged. “I don’t expect you to. But I remember. It was after a…late night. Mark had dragged us all to a party across town. We stayed there till about 7AM. All I wanted to do was go back to my bedroom and sleep for the rest of time, but Christian wanted coffee and he didn’t want to go to the cafeteria by himself. He knew you’d be there and he didn’t want you to know where he’d been.” 

Dani frowned. Christian often told her that he’d had late night study sessions with the guys…it shouldn’t surprise her that this was less than accurate. 

“I hadn’t met you yet. I’d only been in the States for about a week—I arrived a little later in the semester…visa issues. I was heavily jetlagged, exhausted from the parties Mark dragged us to, and the last thing I wanted to do was cover for Christian.” Pelle grimaced at the memory. 

“But he insisted,” He stretched out onto the bed and took a piece of toast. “And we went into the cafeteria. All I wanted was coffee and the coffee machine was broken. I was muttering to myself in Swedish, so they wouldn’t know how irritated I was…and you came up to our table to say hi to Christian. You were wearing pajama pants, ones with little black bears on them. I thought you looked so cute.” 

“I was in my pajamas?!” Dani groaned a little. It was silly to be embarrassed by this reminiscence. But she was a college student after all, and no college student went anywhere before 10:00AM in anything but pajamas. 

“You were beautiful,” Pelle smiled at her and tugged a lock of her hair. “And you waxed poetic about how much you loved waffles, though your mother’s were better. I looked at you and Christian and thought about all the things Christian had said about you…and I felt angry. And jealous. For the first time, I was…envious of something he had. And I hated him for it.” 

Pelle had been…jealous? Of her? 

A draft made her shiver. “Was that—was that the reason you chose him? To come here?” 

He shook his head. “I chose him before I met you. But…the truth is, Dani, he made me so furious with him for how he treated you. I confess…I encouraged him to break up with you, along with Mark and Josh. But my reasons were entirely selfish.” 

A smile crept onto her face. “What, were you planning on asking me out if Christian had broken up with me?” 

“Certainly not,” Pelle stroked her back affectionately. “How could I ask the gods for such an honor? It would be like demanding the moon and stars come down and dance for me. No, I only wanted him to stop hurting you and treating you cruelly. But after you lost your family…well, I knew the only way to separate you both permanently would be our trip to Sweden. I never imagined he’d bring you as well.” 

Dani never imagined it either. She never intended on forcing Christian’s hand. She hadn’t particularly wanted to go to Sweden. But the way Christian had thrown it at her like a dagger, “if you’re so upset about it, you can come, I just didn’t want to invite you because you were going through so much!” He had expected her to turn him down. It felt good to take him up on the offer, to force him to tell the rest of his band that Yoko Ono was coming too. Even if she felt the rest of his friends’ displeasure acutely. 

Pelle ran his fingers through his hair and gazed up at the ceiling. “He nearly spoiled everything. I was…terrified that you were coming too.” 

She cocked her head towards him. Pelle’s admission was interesting. Like Josh and Mark, he hadn’t wanted her to come—but it seemed to out of a worry for her life, not because she was breaking up the band. 

“I can’t really say I’m sorry for it,” She admitted and Pelle laughed. 

“I’m a believer in a higher power, Dani,” He smiled at her in a tender way that made her heart ache. “When I learned that your birthday was over Midsommar…and the way you shone like the sun among my family…I knew you were sent here for a reason. I didn’t know what reason. I just knew I was the gods’ courier. And now…you are our May Queen. Nothing was coincidence.” 

Dani stared at him seriously. “What would have happened? If I were chosen to be sacrificed for Midsommar?” 

Pelle shook his head briskly. “Oh no. That would not have happened. Of this I am sure.” 

“But what if it had?” She persisted. “What would you have done?” 

He hesitated. It was because of Pelle that Mark, Josh, and Christian were all dead. The night Josh disappeared, Dani had woken up and seen both Josh and Pelle’s empty beds. She suspected Josh’s desperation to create a stronger thesis would lead him to do something reckless and she had no doubt that Pelle had distributed the consequences. She was no friend of Josh’s; he had considered her an annoyance and distraction of Christian’s. But when Christian had declared to him that the Hårga would now be his thesis…even Dani thought it was a scummy thing to do. 

“I would not have let it happen.” 

Pelle’s voice, so low and barely above a whisper jerked Dani out of her reminisces. She looked at him somewhat astonished. Pelle’s loyalty to his village was one of his distinguishing characteristics. It was an almost rebellious thing to say. And it seemed that he considered the statement selfish; pink tinged his cheeks and he averted his gaze in shame. 

He cleared his throat. “But it never would have happened. The moment Siv saw you…she sensed something about you. Everything aligned together. The day of your birth, Midsommar, your coronation…all of it was fated. You were fated to be our queen.” 

His eyes met hers. “My queen.” 

Heat coursed through Dani’s body. Pelle was looking at her that way, that heart-wrenching and tender way that made her feel short of breath. She felt the strong desire to kiss him again. 

 Well, why not? I am the May Queen, aren’t I? 

She brought her lips to his and she felt him gasp at her boldness. Last night it was Pelle who took control, who kissed her and apologized for taking the liberty. But she didn’t have to apologize. He was here to serve her, to adore her, to please her, and he seemed only to happy to oblige. She so loved how he tasted in the morning…a heady combination of dark coffee and sugar from the glazed rolls. 

Dani could feel him hardening against her and to her delight, it no longer made her anxious. It didn’t matter how much she turned him on, Pelle would never guilt her or get angry with her; whatever boundaries or limits she set for herself. The wild comfort of this made her kiss him even harder and run her fingers down his chest. 

She paused in her ministrations to observe him. He opened his heavy-lidded eyes and murmured, “Now I shall make you breakfast every morning.” 

She laughed and kissed him again. She wanted to taste him everywhere, the flavor of his cheekbones, the smooth curve of his neck, his lovely, golden chest. She pushed him down onto the bed and pinned his arms. He watched her in utter rapture. 

“I want you,” Dani admitted. “I haven’t…I haven’t wanted someone like this in a long time. Or I guess…I haven’t felt comfortable wanting someone like this in a long time.” 

His gaze was tender. “This is how it should be, Dani. This is how you should be loved. It…infuriates me that you’ve known anything else.”

She swallowed. “There’s something else.” 

Pelle raised an eyebrow. 

“When I have sex…sometimes it hurts. Most of the time it hurts, actually. My gyno called it ‘vaginismus’. I tense up and I can’t handle penetration. I was working with someone on it before—before my parents died, but…I just…” She looked away from him. “I’m embarrassed about it.” 

She released his arms and he immediately cupped her face. His finger stroked down her cheek, but she could not meet his gaze. 

“Did Christian know?” Pelle asked. 

“I told him,” Dani kept her eyes fixed on the bedspread. “I don’t think he believed me. He just said I was frigid and needed to relax. And then accused me of blaming him for our sex life being bad and I—it was just a mess.” 

She twisted a lock of her hair in anxiety. “But I wanted to tell you because—because I feel like you’re doing all the giving and I’m not—I’m not giving back.” 

“Oh, Dani,” Pelle sat up and wrapped his arms around her. “You’re thinking about this all wrong. This isn’t a transaction. You are not a vending machine; I do not give you affection in exchange for sex. This is an expression of my feelings for you and yours for me. I told you truthfully last night; if you never wanted to have penetrative sex, that would be all right. You are my May Queen, my summer goddess, and I will worship you however you want.” 

She gazed at him levelly. “But what if I want to give back to you?” 

He smiled at her. “Then I will gladly receive. But on your terms. Within your boundaries. With the knowledge that you can stop if ever you should feel uncomfortable.” 

Dani stared at him as he ran his fingers through her hair. He tilted his head in a silent question. 

“I was just wondering how I got so caught up in Christian when you were right there.” She murmured and it made him laugh. 

“I didn’t exactly make my presence known,” He chuckled and gently flipped her over on her back. “But now, my queen…with your permission…” 

Pelle’s lips traced down her skin and lingered at her breasts. She was rather small-chested; another source of insecurity in her previous relationship (Christian had made no secret of his preference for women with bigger tits) but Pelle worshiped them reverently with his tongue. She cried out when his tongue flicked over her nipple and sucked gently. His teeth grazed over the sensitive buds and Dani curled her fingers into the sheets. How was his mouth so good? 

His fingers stroked down the length of her sides until she felt them approach her inner thighs. She took a deep breath and tried to force herself to relax—always a lost cause, relaxation could not be forced. But she so badly wanted to just let go and enjoy herself with Pelle… 

“Dani,” Pelle murmured in her ear. His fingers lazily circled her thighs, nowhere near her core. She looked up at him. 

“Do you remember when we went bowling?” 

She thought. “I think so?” 

“It was in the fall,” Pelle told her and she felt the tension leave her shoulders as he continued to massage her thighs. “But a hot fall day. There was a large group of us. Boys against the girls. You and a few friends, Mark’s girlfriend at the time, a girl I invited for an even number…you beat us soundly.” 

“I…do remember that,” She reached up to touch Pelle’s beard. “And the girl you brought. She was pretty.” 

He grinned at her. “Vivian. She was dating a girl named Andrea. But a very fun girl. She told me not to invite her to things with Mark and Christian again. But she knew how I felt about you. She teased me mercilessly, especially when you came in that little sundress…” 

Dani buried her head in his shoulder. “You remember what I was wearing?” 

“Of course. A little white sundress with sunflowers on it. It was very…distracting.” 

His voice became husky and his fingers traveled up her thighs, barely grazing her. Electricity swam through Dani’s veins as she tried to remember why she wore a sundress to a bowling alley. 

“Oh,” She whispered. “That was it. It was—it was my mother’s birthday. We took her out for Sunday brunch. I didn’t have time to change…I was really worried about the dress smelling like cigarette smoke…” 

“You sat next to me at one of the little tables,” Pelle’s fingers teased her inner folds, stroking in and out—not enough for her to tense. He was as gentle as butterfly wings and Dani began to feel heat travel up her core. 

“I was trying so hard not to stare at you,” Pelle bit her earlobe and she squeaked. “I could not believe Christian barely looked at you.” 

Dani remembered. “He was talking to the girl you brought. Vivian. She was wearing a crop top. She had all these tattoos…” 

“Vivian thought he was ridiculous,” Pelle sucked on her earlobe gently. “But she thought it was funny to keep him distracted while I talked to you. You were swinging your legs back and forth. You smelled like strawberries and mint and I was losing my mind.” 

His fingers delved deeper inside her and to Dani’s surprise, she did not experience that familiar twinge of pain. His voice had relaxed her; she was becoming flushed and heated at the memory of her sitting in a bowling alley, innocently driving Pelle crazy. 

“What did—what did you want to do to me?” She half-panted and Pelle groaned at the question. His fingers probed deeper but still so gently, backing off at any sort of resistance, circling her clit with each penetration. 

“I wanted to take you, right there on that sticky table. I wanted to knock off all the beers and kiss you until you were breathless.” To show her his point, he captured her lips and Dani moaned at the vivid image. 

“I wanted to make love to you in front of Christian. Have him see you screaming and wet; lick every inch of you until you were trembling. I wanted you to feel every inch of me and I wanted to see Christian’s face as I did it.” 

Dani’s back arched as Pelle’s fingers entered her more deeply. It didn’t hurt. She didn’t know if it was because she felt so relaxed and sated in Pelle’s arms or if it was his husky voice velveting every single word he spoke, but for the first time, it did not feel like violation. She ached for him. 

But not yet. While his fingers thrust within her, his thumb rubbed against her soaking clit and just as in his fantasy, Dani cried out hoarsely, waves of pleasure rocketing her forward. 

“It’s almost a shame he is dead,” Pelle whispered in her ear, thrusting his fingers inside and out, over and over. “I wish he could see you like this. I wish I could’ve done this to him before he died. But I’ll not lie to you my Queen, when you sentenced him to death, I smiled and praised the old gods for you.” 

Dani was gasping. She watched dazedly as Pelle pulled his fingers out of her sopping core and, looking her straight in the eye, tasted her off his fingers. She tried to say something but it only came out in a sated moan. He then kissed her again and she could taste her own salty-sweetness on her tongue. 

She leaned back on her pillows and tried to return to sanity, Pelle’s fingers lazily carding her hair.

[xmxisxforxmaybe]

"I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one would even notice" smutty with Merriell, of course. 🤤❤️

When Eugene had invited you and Merriell to John’s 8th birthday party, you happily accepted, most especially because the invitation indicated it was a pool party. Mer had helped Eugene put the in-ground swimming pool in two summers ago and you all had spent a few happy nights here and there enjoying the fruits of their labor.

As soon as Mer saw the invitation on the table, he went back into your closet to start digging for his favorite bikini—a little yellow and blue polka dot number that never failed to have him grinning like a Cheshire cat each time you put it on.  

“I don’t know that a bikini is appropriate for a child’s birthday party.”

“Course it is! Kids don’t care what grownups are wearin’ or doin’ cuz a birthday party means they get to run wild all day.”

You pursed your lips as you thought it over and figured what the hell. You looked good in it, and it made Merriell giddy with excitement.

The party fell on a gloriously hot weekend, so everyone was either crowded in or around the big pool in the backyard until Jeanne’s voice rang out from the kitchen door.

“Time for cake!”

All the guests began to scramble for the kitchen, but when you made to get up from the double lounge, Mer grabbed your wrist and held you back.

“This the perfect oppa’tunity fo’ some alone time,” he drawled, lowering his sunglasses to give you a wink.

“Merriell Shelton! There are children—”

“In the house. With a cake. They ain’t gonna miss us.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as he moved half onto your body, both of you slouching lower in the chaise, pretty well hidden from anyone who might happen to glance out of the kitchen window toward the pool.

Merriell’s skin was so warm as it pressed into yours. He hadn’t gotten in the pool at all, instead choosing to drink beer and talk to the guys while Gene grilled. Their laughter had drawn your attention more than once and you thought he looked gorgeous, his dark skin a perfect contrast with his light green swimtrunks, Mer completely at home, shirtless and shoeless in Gene’s backyard.

He’d just gotten a haircut, too, so his curls were perfectly ringleted on the top of his head, his sunglasses hiding everything about his big eyes except the laugh lines that crinkled along the corners.

You’d been bopped in the head twice while playing with the beach ball in the pool as you watched Merriell, and you knew he had eyes on you, too. Every time you moved around the pool, he always seemed to pop up right in your line of view.

“Mer,” you whispered as he moved down your neck, his lips placing soft kisses over your pulse point, stopping to suck just enough to increase the wetness that was already pooling between your thighs.

His fingers were gleefully ghosting over your exposed skin, enjoying his nearly unfettered access to your body while in the outdoors.

"Ya know,” he murmured against the top of your cleavage, “I could just pull ya bikini bottoms to the side. No one would even notice.”

His hard cock was insistent against your hip and you raised your thigh to grind against him, signaling that you didn’t care what he did just so long as he did something.

Popping his sunglasses on top of his head, he looked at you with sparkling green eyes, the pupils blown wide despite the bright sunlight.

You spread your legs wider and he wriggled between them, pulling his cock out of his low-slung trunks. He pushed aside your bottoms, just enough to work himself inside of you and you both groaned with pleasure once he was bottomed out.

“Ya look so fuckin’ good like this,” Merriell said before he kissed you, his tongue working into your mouth so he could let you suck on it.

He moaned as your lips pulled on his tongue before you released him and smirked, bucking up into his hips to spur him on.

“The birthday song isn’t that long, Mer. Hurry up.”

“Ya wicked, baby girl. Ab-so-lute-ly wick-ed,” he grinned as he increased his pace, punctuating his phrases with the thrusts of his cock.

“I need your fingers,” you panted, getting close but not close enough at this furtive angle.

He complied immediately, reaching into the gap created by his cock to find your clit.

His fingers slipped into a familiar, sweet pattern of strokes and you were both groaning toward your climaxes, utterly wrapped up in the sex, the sunshine, the sound of lapping pool, and the distant laughter of the party guests inside the house.

Mer was panting into your neck, his lips near your ear as you grasped his curls and knocked his sunglasses somewhere onto the chaise.  

“Come on, baby girl. Let go fo’ me.”

“Ohhh, Mer. Fuck yes. Just like—”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Your scream was ear piercing as the bucket of ice water came splashing over your body, your vision completely blurred until the water flushed away from your eyes.

You sat up as Merriell jerked out of you, his soaking hair covering his eyes and his sunglasses crunching under his hand as he rolled off of you and onto his back.

“Honestly, Y/N. I expect it from him, but from you?” Gene tsked with disappointment.

A few chuckles broke out farther away in the yard and you blushed furiously as you realized the men of the party knew exactly what Merriell and you had been up to.

“Sorry, Gene,” Mer said, slicking back his curls, tucking in his dick and peeking over the chaise lounge. “Couldn’t be helped.”

“My son’s birthday party! You’re fuckin’ shameless, Snafu!”

“Tell me somethin’ I don’t know,” he said, relaxing into the chair, his hands crossing behind his head as he closed his eyes and grinned, his face already drying in the hot sun while you looked on in embarrassment.

The men all laughed and began to filter back over to the pool while you excused yourself, praying to god the women in the house had been paying less attention. Wringing out your soaked braid, you listened as a fresh round of laughter and whooping erupted from around Merriell as you walked away. You could hear him tell Gene that payback was a bitch, and you shook your head as you walked into the house, still in shock that you’d been caught and doused.

The women and children were scattered throughout the kitchen and dining room, Jeanne giving you a friendly wave as you made your way toward the decadent, chocolate birthday cake. You helped yourself to two slices, figuring you’d at least eat cake to compensate for the loss of what was proving to be a glorious orgasm.

You glanced out the window and laughed as you saw the guys hoist Merriell up from the chaise and toss him into the pool. He came up sputtering but grinning. Even though he often got you into these embarrassing situations, you knew you wouldn’t trade a single moment of mortification.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #446

“so you can throw me to the wolves  /  tomorrow i will come back, leader of the whole pack”

Favourite cheese? American. Superman or Batman? I know literally nothing of Superman, but I like Batman. Who are your best friends? The only person I consider a best friend is Sara. Name the 3 most important people in your life: My mom, Sara, and... I suppose myself since I cherish my mental health VERY deeply. Are you currently learning from anyone how to play any instruments? No. Do you know anyone who is overly flirty with people? Girl or a boy? In my personal opinion, yes. I do believe it's possible to be "overly" flirty, considering you can really lead people on. It's a she. Do you believe vampires are real? Not the stereotypical Twilight kind. No. Have you ever been to a porn website? Were you addicted to it afterword? No. I'm really not into that. What is the most disgusting thing you think the opposite sex can do? I think the most disgusting thing anyone can do is commit rape. Would you rather be able to teleport or freeze time? Which one seems best? I feel teleportation is obviously more convenient and useful in dangerous situations. Have you seen the movie Twister? Did the tornadoes look real to you? LKJFL;AKSDJFKLASJDLFKA;WE NOOOOOOOOOO. I am WAY too terrified of tornadoes to watch that. Have you actually been through a devastating natural disaster before? Hurricane Floyd was pretty devastating. I was too young to really remember it, though. Did your mom ever fix your eggs and bacon into a smiley face as a kid? She probably did. What fast food place, in your opinion, has the best french fries? BOJANGLE'S, AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Do you believe one day aliens might take over the planet Earth? I mean, it's possible, but I don't know. Do you remember when they used to actually throw candy out at parades? I didn't know they stopped. Does it bother you when people burp around you or do you do it too? I couldn't possibly care less, it's a natural bodily function. Just because of societal standards though, I don't burp in public, though, but only around family and close friends. What is one kind of music you’d do anything to not listen to in the car? Anything like rap that has a STUPIDLY loud bass that just annoys everyone within a ten mile radius. When was the last time you babysat, if ever? Did anything bad happen? A year or two ago, for my nephew. No one else was free to watch him, so I had no choice. Nothing bad happened, besides nearly having a panic attack. Do you ever talk to people you met online through webcam? Or is that weird? No. Even Sara and I don't do it, because I'm too self-conscious of how I look. Even though she's seen me plenty before irl. Would you ever consider becoming a scientist? Why would you or why not? Well, I majored in biology briefly... I wanted to be a wildlife biologist. I just adore animals and thought I could do it. I just couldn't handle school. When is the next time you’ll talk to the cousin you’re closest to? I'm not especially close to any of my cousins. Are you really into vintage things? Have you ever been into that stuff? Yessss! is writing something that you enjoy doing? Definitely. Would you rather read or write? Write. Would you rather draw or take photographs? If I wind up being very proud of the product, I prefer drawing, but I take pictures far more. When was the last time you cheated at something? I have no clue. Has anyone ever copied off of your homework assignments? I think so? Do you have any pictures of celebs saved to your computer? ... *stares at my folder labelled "Mark"* What would you consider your favorite holiday? Why is this? Christmas. I love the whole vibe of it. The weather, the smells, the treats, my niece's and nephew's excitement... I adore all the lights and decorations, the gratefulness for family and your loved ones in general... I just love Christmas. If you’re a girl, do you have big hips? Too big? I'd say my hips are normal. Girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? God no. Not anymore. Have you ever taken a pottery class before? Nope. How many times have you seen Star Wars? Be honest. Once. I didn't like it. Has your best friend ever made you cry? Yes. But in her defense, we've both made the other cry. Have you ever entered a talent competition? God no, I ain't got shit to flaunt. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yes. If you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark colour or a light? And if you wear mascara, what colour is it? I only ever wear black for both of those. What is your favourite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. What do you get complimented on the most? My Markiplier tattoo, actually. What do you think of your best friend’s ex? One I REALLY don't like, the other I'm neutral about. Are you biracial? No. Do you have Pop-Tarts in your house right now? No. We try to not buy them, given they're just TOTALLY empty calories. They don't fill me at all. Is anyone’s birthday coming up? No. Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Do you like sour candy? I LOVE sour candy. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? Alaska, to see the Northern Lights. Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? I haven't driven in well over a year. Hell, maybe two. But no, because I'd need prescription sunglasses. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? God no. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah. What time do you usually have dinner? 5:30-6:30, usually. What’s your favourite meat? Chicken, I think. What is your favourite meal of the day and why? Breakfast. I just enjoy breakfast foods. What colour is your shampoo? White. Tell me a silly little old wive’s tale you believed when you were a child: My older sister got me to believe that if you said a word a ridiculous amount of times, it'd be the only word you knew how to say anymore, lmao. Shut up, I was little. What was the last magazine you bought? Do you subscribe to any? I don't buy magazines. Whose Facebook profile did you last look at? Was there anything that caught your attention? Uh, that's a good question. Do you regret your last relationship? Not at all. What’s better, mashed potatoes or sweet potatoes? Mashed potatoes, though I'm picky with them and the texture. Did you ever used to make cookies, cakes, or pie with your grandma? No. Do you like kids? Not especially. They ask too many questions and can be really rude, even though I know they usually don't mean to be. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders play Dino Crisis 2. I finished her playthrough of Final Fantasy X, so now I feel a void in my soul that I am trying to fill with a new series lmao. Do you burn incense? Not really anymore. I'm not against it, I just... haven't. What is your favorite kind of cracker? Cheese-Itz. Can you name a single song by Billy Joel without looking it up? Yeah; I can name a few, actually. My dad loves Billy Joel, so I heard him a lot growing up. "Piano Man" is a classic. Do you like regular peppermint candy canes, or do you prefer different flavored ones [fruits, bubble gum, cinnamon, etc.]? I actually really like the Jolly Rancher ones. Have you ever been kissed while sitting atop the hood of a car? That's actually possible... but I'm not sure. I think I have a faint memory of lying on a car hood with Jason before. What do you think is the dumbest/tackiest piercing? I don't like calling a piercing either of those, like if they make someone feel more confident and attractive, good for them. I can say I'm personally not a fan of the smiley piercing, though. Have you ever requested a song on the radio? No. When I was a kid at a birthday party, though, one of the girls did. Does your mother still take care of you if you get ill? She helps a lot, yeah. What is one song that always brings back memories every time you hear it? Honestly, too many. I attach way too aggressively to songs. Do you currently have any pimples? Not currently, no. Did anything disturb your sleep at all last night? Ugh, yes. I couldn't sleep for shit. How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? I have only seen one picture of Jason with the girl he dated after me and it. Set. Me. On. Fucking. Fire. It's pathetic. If you’re not in college, why? All it did was give me emotional breakdowns. What do you think about MTV? I am way too out of the loop on what goes on on any TV channel to answer this. What was your very first day of your very first job like? What’d you do? How long did it take you to get the hang of it, and feel comfortable with working? This was waaaay too long ago... All I remember is actually being hopeful, though nervous. I never got to the point of feeling comfortable there. Or at any job. If you have a dog, are they friendly to strangers or other dogs? We don't have a dog, but we do have a cat that is EXTREMELY skittish around strangers. Someone he doesn't know comes through the door? He's bolting to hide. Do people ever comment on or joke about your driving? Well, I got flipped off once by a driver, so... I'd consider that a silent comment. I, to this day, don't know why they (it was a group of guys) did it, but it's stuck with me. What was the last thing to move you? Are you easily moved or inspired? The ending of FFX alsdkfjkaljlkwjer. And yes. If you`ve ever seen your very favorite band, did you cry when you saw them? Was it like a dream come true? If you`ve never seen them, do you think you would? I haven't, but I probably would a little bit. Of all the reality competitions you’ve watched, who are some of your all-time favorite contestants and what shows were they from? From America's Got Talent, I adore(d) Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., as well as Prince Poppycock. I keep up with them both on Facebook. Ever had a friend named Alex or John? One of my closest online friends was Alex. A couple years ago she just... got a boyfriend and fell off the face of the earth. Are you happy with your relationship status? I mean... no, I'm ridiculously lonely, but being single is for the best right now. What kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs? Just ketchup and mustard. Have you ever been in a spelling bee? No. What is the most annoying thing that your parents do? Mom absolutely always assumes she's right. Dad repeats himself like CRAZY. Would you say you’re someone who has good manners? Yes. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Actually, the doctors couldn't determine mine (or any of Mom's kids') because my legs were ALWAYS crossed when they did ultrasounds. Mom says she "knew" I was a girl, though. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? I'm addicted to caffeine, yes. Who makes the best desserts in your entire family? Hm, I dunno. Do you have good dreams or nightmares more? I have very severe sleep apnea that results in very violent nightmares almost any time I sleep without my APAP mask. Even WITH the damn mask, I have them a lot. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? *shrug* Do you have trouble reading small fonts? Yes. I used to find it aesthetically pleasing, but my vision is just too bad now, even with my (shitty) glasses. Do you know anybody that believes that magic/witchery truly exists? I think so. Do you find watching animals in their natural habitat to be exciting & fascinating? Absolutely!! The last time you had sex: did you want it, or did the other person want it? ... You know it's supposed to be a mutual desire, right?? What does your sibling(s) call you? "Britt." Has anyone you’ve known claimed to be psychic? Maybe? I'm unsure. Did/do you believe them? Hell no. I don't believe in psychics and believe people who claim to be so are manipulative pieces of shit. Is anything annoying you right now? I am bored to an inexplicable level askldjfla;wejlr. Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? Yeah. Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents or someone else? No. Have you ever felt abandoned? Well yes. By definition, my dad abandoned our family. Where are you? I’m in my bed. What’s been the worst part of this day? I've just been so, so bored. I'm sick and fucking tired of dealing with anhedonia. Who last encouraged you to better yourself? My therapist.

[gashinabts]

Why we broke up (m)

Words: 4k

Paring: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, kinda smut

Summary: “And I really wanted to see you again, talk to you again, be with you again. But if you don’t ever want to see me again then I’ll leave as if I never existed but can I please hold a little longer?”

Warning: Mature language, Implied sex, heavy petting

a/n: this is my first fic I was kinda hesitant to post it but here it is.. I really wanted to write a part 2 to do more explanation on how they broke up...but lets see how this one goes :() lol there might be a shit ton of grammar mistakes but please show me support !!!

Part 2

“Fuck—,” the pounding of Jungkook’s head was in radiating pain to the point where he couldn’t bear to open his eyes. Thinking to himself he shouldn’t have drank more than five soju bottles last night. If his head was in this much pain he couldn’t possibly imagine what his liver was going through.

Finally opening his eyes after a painstakingly minute he noticed two things: one, he is not in his bedroom and two he is naked. It wouldn’t be the first time he woke up in a stranger’s room. As he looked to the left of the bed there lies a naked woman.

He should get out before she notices, he hurriedly searches his clothes and puts them on, he notices a mirror in the women's room. God, how he hated the red blotchy marks that were littered around his neck.

Jungkook pats himself on the back when he successfully exits her house, he drives off in his car at a ridiculous speed, not because of the woman but because Eunwoo might be worried sick for him.

“Eunwoo!”, Jungkook yells while entering his house. “Daddy’s home, come over!”, the Shiba Inu runs over to Jungkook. “Sorry I’m really late for our morning run. I’ll make it up to you by taking you to the park then you can pee on every tree there is out there, sounds like a deal?”,  Eunwoo barks out a response of agreement.

The change of scenery was nice for Jungkook there where a lot of people at the park filled with children’s laughter and screaming, the scent of grass that spring provided, it was indeed nice for him. Eunwoo takes the deal with Jungkook very seriously and is marking his territory on a big tree near the playground. He decides to look away from the dog to give him privacy.

Then time stills, everything is silent yet loud, when he spots you. Your surrounded by small children and your laughing while blowing bubbles in the air as they try to pop each one. It was breathtaking watching you in your yellow sundress and just being happy.

Jungkook can’t stop staring it was like the gods were playing a trick on him and he couldn’t tell if it was real.

Then you looked up to see him, Jungkook, big brown eyes staring into your eyes. He looks different, not that much but you can see that he matured well. You haven’t seen him in ten years surely features of him could’ve changed but no he still has those beautiful youthful doe eyes.

Jungkook quickly turns his gaze from you. “ Oh my god, Eunwoo what do I do! Maybe she didn’t see me,” he doesn’t know why he was lying to himself and why he was talking to his dog, as if Eunwoo would give him advice.

“Jungkook! Hey!, ” you rapidly walked towards him and you were still holding the bubble wand. You were gonna go for hug but then you stopped yourself, you couldn’t do that, things were different between you two.

“Y/N”, that’s all he said, why was he such an idiot he was thinking to himself he could’ve at least said ‘ hey Y/N’ or ‘what have you been up to’.

You just smiled brightly at him at his awkward stature. “ Jungkook we don’t have to be awkward with each other. I just wanted to say hi to you and see what’s up...While I’m here I wanted to congratulate you on your new song you produce that hit the charts, I really enjoyed it.” He looked intently into your eyes and now it was your turn to glance away with a shy smile.

Jungkook couldn’t believe that he was witnessing your smiles and your praises, after all the pain he caused you.

“ Thank you Y/N, that really means a lot to me. And it wasn’t all me, Yoongi helped me on some parts of the song ”, he returns a grateful smile towards you.

You hum in acknowledgement, “...Is that so, I knew I could her some Suga vibes into it.” He chuckles at your statement and then he feels a tug on the leash.

Eunwoo comes close to you and tries to rub against your legs. You gasp, and squat down, “ A Shiba Inu, my favorite! Aren’t you a cute one!”you caress it generously while speaking in a high tone.Millions of things were going on in Jungkook’s mind and that didn’t go well with the hangover he was having.

“Mommy!! I was looking for you!! I wanted you to see me finish the monkey bars ”, a child’s voice interrupts Jungkook’s thoughts. He watches as the child’s small hands grabbed onto your sundress, clinging onto to it. The child looks up at Jungkook’s tall figure and quickly decides to hide behind you.You smile to yourself grabbing your baby’s soft hands from behind you and bringing him towards the front of you. “ Baby, this person right in front of us, was a very very special person to me. His name is Jeon Jungkook. Now go on and introduce yourself like I taught you.” Your child nods shyly at you while he turns his full attention to Jungkook, “ Hello, Mr. Jungkook! My name is Eunwoo and I am five years old “, Eunwoo gave a small bow. You caress his hair while praising him a small good job.

The situation was all too fast for Jungkook, meeting you, and you having a child name  Eunwoo. Of course you would have a child, you wanting a child was part of the reason you guys broke up. He felt like an asshole realizing that he named his dog the same name as your son, it was the name you confessed to him that if you were to ever have a child with him that it would be Eunwoo.

“Mommy, look!! Mr. Jungkook has a doggy!!,” you look at your son as he pets it energetically. “ I know isn’t he cute, Eunwoo? Jungkook what’s his name?”, you look up to Jungkook, while he scratches the back of his neck, why does he look so frantic.

“Umm—his name is...”, quick think of something Jungkook, “Tree! His name is Tree!” Eunwoo immediately starts to giggle, “ That’s a funny name.” You start to laugh alongside agreeing with Eunwoo. Jungkook sighs in relief and feels sorry that he renamed his dog the most dumbest dog name.

“ Mr. Jungkook…,” Eunwoo gets Jungkook’s attention and he nods for continuation. “Why do you have a lot of ant bites on your neck? You should put medicine on it, Mommy has special medicine at home.” You decide to see what Eunwoo is talking about and squint to look at Jungkook’s neck...oh those aren’t ant bites those are love bites, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of pain in your heart. You used to give Jungkook bites like that, when you wanted to just to claim him over and over again while riding him slowly. You shouldn’t be feeling this emotion you guys been over for ten years, you have to get a grip.

Jungkook hastily put his hand over his neck and was shocked that Eunwoo blatantly pointed but of course he didn’t know what hickies were. He observes your face and he couldn’t help but feel guilt when he saw how your once happy face was in pain. But how you quickly transformed it into a smile when Eunwoo begged you to get the medicine for Mr. Jungkook.

“...Y/N, I’m sor—,” you quickly interrupted him, “ Eunwoo it’s okay, Jungkook has own special medicine at his house too”, you hold your baby’s hand while swinging it a bit.

Why was he gonna apologize, it’s not like you guys are lovers anymore. You should be happy that he has found someone to love and take care of him. You should get going, you’ve been at the park for over an hour, you brush your dress down to get rid of any wrinkles and stare at Jungkook. You wait for him to say anything but the dead silence was too uncomfortable for you.

“ Well I should get going, it was nice seeing you Jungkook,” as you make small wave and smile warmly at him. Eunwoo gives tree a small pat and waves Jungkook a goodbye.

“ It was nice seeing you too, you look happy,” he gives a small response and a genuine smile. You look at him one last time, since it wouldn’t hurt you, and walk with your son towards your car. He continuously hums to a beat of a song that sounds familiar and then you feel a tug on your other wrist, forcing you to turn backwards. You look surprised to see Jungkook holding your wrist and breathing heavily.

“ —Wait Y/N, I wanted to see if you wanted to catch up, like for reals. Maybe go out for lunch or something? I know it’s stupid of me to ask for that, and you have every right to say no,” you don’t know what to say, your heart has been through enough yet it still flutters when he asked this question. You still feel his warm hand on your wrist and you gently take it off with your other hand. Eunwoo enters the car and buckles his car seat.

“ I’m sorry Jungkook but I’m quite busy,” you let out a small excuse. Well it wasn’t a lie you were busy with things which includes projects from work and Eunwoo’s birthday party. He looks a little disappointed but quickly gives a small smile and a nod.

It was ironic on how he was watching as you leave, when ten years ago he was the one that left.

He tugs Tree’s leash and starts to walk home.“ You know I’m sorry I renamed you Tree. Why was I such an idiot, it’s been ten years and now I finally have the audacity to try to ‘ catch up’ with her. God, I’m such a prick,” he’s getting odd stares from people since he’s talking to his dog but he doesn’t care.

Once he’s back home he gives Tree his dinner and takes a hot shower, vigorously trying to scrub his body. Once he’s done dressing in his pajamas he contemplates whether to look over the lyrics Namjoon sent him or to just call it a day. He decides to grab his headphones in his drawers and notices his old phone. The phone had so many precious memories, in the past, he decided to not transfer any old photos to his new phone. He wanted to start on a new page with his life, even if it meant erasing you. Jungkook pulls out the phone, presses the power button, and unlocks his phone. He goes to the photo app and looks for pictures of containing you, he continues to memorize every picture of your ethereal face. It makes him smile and laugh when your doing funny faces towards the camera.

“Oh—shit,” this particular picture made him flustered, his cock in your mouth looking up towards the camera, it was truly sinful. Then there was a video of you on all fours, his cock stretching you out. That night you begged him to fuck you like a slut and he nearly came four times. He feels a little stiff in his sweatpants, but it didn’t feel right for Jungkook to play the video so he quickly exit the app. He remembers that he muted your messages so you wouldn’t see the notifications from you and never bothered to read them, he presses onto your conversation, and notices an abundance of messages appear. He furrowed his brows in concentration and reads the messages dated from five years ago.

[Y/N] Taehyung came over to pick up ur stuff, do you really not want to see me?

[Y/N] How are you these days? Have you been eating well?

[Y/N] Happy Birthday best wishes to you :)!!

[Y/N] I went to the coffee shop and habitually order two coffees one with extra sugar and milk. Silly me. I couldn’t help but think of you wondering if drinking too much coffee.

[Y/N] congratulations on the award! You guys deserve it.

[Y/N] I’m so glad that you guys have an extended break!!! Get some good rest and fun time.

[Y/N] heyyy ur active on Xbox live, wanna play?

[Y/N] the moon was so bright today, I couldn’t help but think of you. You know the story you told me, that when you were young your mom would read you the book on how there was a family of bunnies on the moon. And for the longest you thought it was real, sometimes I wish it was real so it would make you happy.

[Y/N] i miss you

[Y/N] Hey, are you okay? I heard from the news that BTS disbanded.

[Y/N] I heard ur song on the radio!! It was so wonderful hearing ur voice again. I’m glad that ur still making music.

[Y/N] I saw you at the sushi place, I wanted to say hi to you but you looked happy with ur date. I’m happy that ur happy, I know that sounds cliche but I really mean it Jungkook.

[Y/N] My therapist said it wasn’t good for me to keep on texting you all these years. No worries I’m improving my health :)). So this is my last message to you, I’m sorry for texting you and being a nuisance when you didn’t want to hear from me. I wish you well, don’t forget to enjoy yourself!

Junkook finishes reading all the text messages and feels solemnly lonely with guilt. How were you always so kind? He goes to sleep that night with you on his mind.

You woke up the next morning in a rush since the alarm didn’t go off. Dropping off Eunwoo at school, you drive to work with desperate need for coffee on your tastebuds. Your secretary gives you your coffee and goes over the appointments you have with clients. You decided to take a break from reviewing the architecture plans. Your mind drifted off to Jungkook, you wondered what he was doing right now, is he having coffee right now too. You let out a small laugh remembering when he would add a lot of sugar to his coffee. God, why did you have to go say hi to him, you’re such an idiot. “ Ms. Y/N, ummm...can you sign this please. Sorry if I interrupted you,” the new intern rambles off, you smile at her and sign the approval plans.

Jungkook has lunch date with Taehyung, who he barely sees anymore due to his filming for a new drama. They are eating their burgers, but Taehyung doesn’t stop texting someone, Jungkook only gets annoyed after the past ten minutes, and snatches his phone. He goes to turn it off but notices your name and his stomach drops to the floor. How long have you guys been in contact, do you guys hang out, questions are firing through his head. He looks at the convo and sees a picture of Eunwoo doing the V sign, and an invitation to his birthday party. Why was Taehyung invited to the party but not him, you told him he was a special person.

“Jungkook...Y/N and I are still really good friends and still keep in contact with each other. Sorry that I was texting her while we were eating but can I please have my phone back?”

“Oh sorry, here. Do you think I can come with you?,” Taehyung gives him a confused stare, “ to Eunwoo’s party I mean…,”

“ Uhh Jungkook, I don’t know if that’s a good idea, you guys didn’t necessarily part on good terms and how do you know who Eunwoo is?,” Taehyung looks even more confused than he looked before.

“ Well I kinda bumped into Y/N the other day and met her son,” he shrugs his shoulders to act nonchalant but really he wanted to go with Taehyung to the party.

“ I can ask her if you can go—,”

“ NO!—I mean don’t please. I’ll promise that I won’t cause any trouble, just please let me go with you?”

“ Fine, okay you can come. But why do you wanna come so badly? You are already saw her the other day, I swear to god Jungkook don’t try anything with Y/N. She’s been through a lot.”

Taehyung puts his phone on silent, and carries on with another topic, explaining the plot of his new drama he is leading. Jungkook tries to focus on the conversation but is wondering what have you been through while he was out of life. He shouldn't be feeling jealous of Taehyung, that he’s still close to you.

That afternoon Jungkook goes to the store and tries to look for a present for Eunwoo, in which he realizes he doesn’t know much about Eunwoo despite him liking Tree. Maybe he should buy him a puppy for him, no I don’t think his mother would be happy with that. Taehyung most definitely knows more about what Eunwoo would like.

[JK] What does Eunwoo like? Im buying a present for him

[Taetae] anything space related and iron man on some occasions

[Taetae] ohhh I forgot and Shiba Inus

[JK] thanks buttface

[Taetae] :((

He feels a warm feeling in his heart, of course he would like Shiba Inus like his mother. Jungkook looks around, and he picks up Shiba Inu plush toy along with a space theme blanket. He wants to buy a whole lot of things for Eunwoo but he decides not to, he is about to leave when he spots the The Bunny on the Moon book, a rush of nostalgia hits him and he decides to buy it for Eunwoo.

It’s Saturday morning, and Eunwoo excitedly jumps on your bed, tugging your sheets, begging you to wake up. “ Mommyyyy, wake up!!! It’s my birthday and I want to start the party already!,” you playfully groan and pull Eunwoo into your arms. “ What? Today is your birthday? But you had one last year, that’s unfair,” you complain while pouting, Eunwoo giggles and you just want to bask in his scent, never letting your baby go. “ Silly Mommy!! We have a birthday every year, that’s why I look bigger today,” you hum in acknowledgment, feeling a little sad that he is growing up too quickly. You tell Eunwoo to take shower while you make breakfast.

The party starts at 1pm and you quickly set up the streamers and pack the goody bags, Eunwoo helps you blow the balloons, while you get dress yourself.

Eunwoo school and neighborhood friends arrive bringing presents of all sorts of sizes, claiming their presents is going to be the best for Eunwoo. He decides to play with his friends in the backyard, your putting all the presents in a pile, then a sudden six rhythm knock comes. You chuckle already knowing who it is, his boxy smile appears when you open the door, and you immediately grabbed him into a hug while burying your face into his neck. “Taehyung, I missed you,” you whispered into his neck, he puts his hands in your hair while saying he misses you too. You pull back about to tell him how his shooting go, but then you see Jungkook behind him holding presents looking at you with wide eyes.

“Oh, umm Jungkook what are you doing here?” You were honestly shocked that he was at your doorstep, you gave a questioning look towards Taehyung. “Y/N, Jungkook wanted to come to the party,” you wanted to ask why but that would sound rude so you invited them both in. Taehyung sprints outside grabbing Eunwoo into a hug and twirling him around. All the other kids asked if he can spin them around too and so he did. You smile to yourself, envisioning Taehyung with his own children.

“ Y/N, this is Taehyung’s present and this one's mine, where do you want me to put it at? ,” Jungkook lifts two different presents up, smiling a bit. “Here I can take it and I’ll put it away. You can hangout with Taehyung outside,” you grab the presents from his hands and start to put them in the gift pile. “ Do you need help with anything?,” you look around to see if anything needs to be done, and you notice some of the streamers fell down from the ceiling. “Actually, can you tape the streamers back up,” he eagerly nods and does the job. You hear knocking at the door and you figure it’s the pizza delivery. “ Baby—shit, I mean Jungkook can you get the door it’s the pizza, the money should be in the living room,” you both look flustered, and you busy yourself by taking the drinks out of the fridge. Why did he have to look so domestic it reminded you of the twenty year old him, it was no wonder why you called him baby.

Jungkook shakily hands over the money and grabs the pizza. When you called him baby he felt oddly content and wanted to hear you call him baby again. He sets the pizza boxes on the kitchen table, while you call in the children to eat. The kitchen is filled with children’s voices and munching on food, while you make conversation with Taehyung and Jungkook. You unconsciously give Jungkook another slice of pizza, knowing he can never get full of eating two slices. He thanks you with his mouth full, and you playfully roll your eyes and tell him to close his mouth.

After all the kids were finished eating pizza, you bring the cake out singing happy birthday while the kids join along, placing right in front of Eunwoo.

Jungkook wonders if he would’ve stayed with you all these years, he could imagine at least four kids, a pet dog, a nice big ring on your finger, and waking every morning with you beside him. Now that he’s in his mid thirties what took him so long that he desperately wanted that future. He awes at you when you place a kiss on Eunwoo telling him to make a wish.

After the candles were blown out and cake was given out, all the children had to leave since it was starting to get dark outside. Unfortunately, that meant his friends couldn’t see him open the presents, Taehyung tells Eunwoo to open his present. Eunwoo screams with joy when he opens an expensive telescope, he hugs Taehyung and kisses his face multiple times in which he happily accepts. His phone starts ringing loudly so he checks the caller ID, it’s a famous movie director and he excuses himself outside.

“ Eunwoo open my present too, a little birdie told me what you liked,” Jungkook smiles at him while handing his presents. He opens the present, his eyes gleams at the penguin astronaut pattern in space blanket and wraps it around himself. And starts giggling when he sees the Shiba Inu plushie and starts hugging it, “Look it’s Tree!!” Jungkook laughs along and rubs Eunwoo’s hair affectionately.

“The Bunny on the Moon,” Eunwoo reads and tilts his head to the side. Your heart stops while you look at Jungkook, why did he had to give something so personal to your son

“ I told your mom that I loved this book, we used to search everywhere for this book.  You know she started crying when I told her that when I was young I would cry all the time since there were no bunnies on the moon,” your eyes started to sting and you wanted Jungkook to leave right now, why was he doing this to you. “ Mommy and Mr. Jungkook it’s okay, I’ll find a way to put bunnies on the moon so you guys won’t ever cry again,” he grabs the presents and heads to his room. You wipe your tears quickly and Taehyung enters the house.

“ Well I gotta head out, I have an early set tomorrow morning tell Eunwoo I love him,” you go to hug him telling him to come around the house more often and he accepts the offer as long as you cook him food.

“ Jungkook come on, I still have to drop your ass at.”

“ No it’s fine I’ll take an Uber, I want to help Y/N cleaning the kitchen.”

“ I don’t think...Alright I’ll see you guys later,” he closes the door, leaving you and Jungkook alone. You make your way to the kitchen, throwing away trash, while Jungkook washes the dishes.

“I finally read the messages you sent me years ago after seeing you at the park,” you sharply turn and look at him, you remember sending him text messages but he never responded. It was on some days when you saw him on Tv looking sad, some days when you wanted a friend to talk to, and on some days you just wanted to hear from him. Is that why he’s here because he feels bad for you? “I’m sorry that I didn’t respond, umm... so are you okay...because on the last message you sent me you said you were seeing a therapist,” you kept staring at him saying nothing while he twiddles with his fingers, it goes like this for a minute. You simply turn back and continue with your task, the tension is so thick and Jungkook couldn’t take it.

“Can you please talk to me?”

You turn back around and stare into his eyes, “Okay, why are you here at my son's birthday party? Why did you buy that book for him? Was it funny to you telling him that story on how I used to cry because I cared so much for you? Did you laugh at reading my messages thinking how pitiful I am? Why do you suddenly want to know about my well being? Are you ridiculing me, laughing at me in your head that I am single mother ? That in the past I wanted this with you but you didn't, and you feel bad right now. God, I’m so stupid I shouldn’t have talked to you that day in the park, I was being to greedy to myself, “ your finally expressing the emotions you were burying into yourself all day, your crying and trying to wipe all the tears.

Jungkook looks at you with a pained expression, the questions took him by surprise, your calm composure was gone. He didn’t come here to poke fun at you or pity you, he just wanted to see you again.

You were hysterically crying this is the first time in many years that you were crying this much. Then you feel him pull you into a hug, you try to put your hands against chest gently pushing him off but he held you closer. You gave up, letting your hands warp around him, crying against his chest. You felt warm in his arms and it gave a false sensation that everything is going to be alright.

“ No, I never once laughed at you or felt any pity towards you. I know for a fact that you are a great mother, so strong and caring. I’m sorry that I came to Eunwoo party uninvited and told him the story about that book, I was being insensitive and a dick. And when I read those messages I just felt so miserable that I just let the most wonderful woman in the wide world suffer go. And I really wanted to see you again, talk to you again, be with you again. But if you don’t ever want to see me again then I’ll leave as if I never existed but can I please hold a little longer?” You nod your head and let your cheek rest against his chest, while one of his hand is stroking your back and the other in your hair. You feel all types of emotions, like your mind can’t decide what you should be feeling.

“ You’re always a dick,” you finally say after a few minutes of being in eachothers arms, he pulls back and laughs an ‘I know’. Jungkook cradles your face with his hands and kisses your forehead. You want more of his affection, you want to be swallowed whole by it. The look in his eyes tells you the same, he lifts you by the waist and places you on the table, and he goes between your legs just hugging you. Nuzzing your face in his neck, you put your hands under his shirt memorizing his back muscles. He hear him sigh in content and his strong hands caresses your back gently. It feels nice just touching each other, trying to remember each others bodies. You pull back from him looking deeply into his eyes, you take one of his hands and place it on your bare thigh where the dress has ridden up. His hand massages up and down and you place one of your hands on his face tracing the scar on his cheek, the slope of his nose, and fingers tracing lightly on his bottom lip.

“ Y/N, can I please kiss you ?,” it’s small whisper but you can hear it very loudly, and you nod your head yes. You close your eyes and feel his lips on yours, it’s a gentle kiss, and it’s gone all too soon as he pulls back. “ Can I kiss you again?” You smile and bring your lips on his this time, parting your lips and his tongue slipping inside. Your starting to feel really hot and his hands go under your dress to feel your bare hip, thumbing the edge of your panties. “ Ahh—Jungkook let me take your shirt off,” you whisper into the kiss, taking his shirt off to the floor and you take a good look of his body, it looks more muscular than ten years ago, it’s like the gods sculpted him for you. He gives you lustful gaze while you feel his hand start to move the front of your panties. “ Mmm take them off Jungkook,” you encourage him desperately needing his fingers in you. He groans and you lift your butt up as he pulls it under, he slowly drags the panties down your legs, teasing you and you just want him to rip it off of you. The panties are finally off and you go to spread your legs apart inviting him in.

“ MOMMY!! YOU FORGOT TO READ ME A STORY!!” You both jump in surprise as you heard your son call from upstairs. Oh shit, were you really about to have sex on the kitchen table while your son was upstairs. You push Jungkook’s chest lightly and bend down to put your panties on. He gets his shirt and puts it on, “ Y/N, I miss you not just physically but emotionally.”

“ Let’s talk about this later, Eunwoo is calling for me,” you offer him a small smile.

“ Okay, it’s late I should head out, tell Eunwoo that I said bye,” you walk him towards the door and kiss him on the cheek as a ‘see you soon’ goodbye.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do not repost, translate, or alternate my work in any way, onto any platform. I do not take plagiarism lightly.

[kookitykook]

Seven Soulmarks: Taehyung (”It’s you.”)

~genre: soulmate au, fluff, sfw

~word count: 5.2k 

~warnings: absolutely none this is cute lmao 

~pairing: solo idol!taehyung x y/n 

~summary: At the exact moment of your twentieth birthday, the first words your soulmate will ever say to you appear on the inside of your left wrist. Seven boys meeting their soulmates shows how the universe always has a plan. 

See how the other boys meet their soulmates (all interconnected) Jungkook -- Jimin -- Namjoon -- Hoseok -- Yoongi -- Jin 

~~~~~~~~~

Kim Taehyung hated his life. 

Rationally, he knew that this was likely the result of him being the most selfish douchebag on the face of the planet. 

Didn’t change the fact that he hated his life. 

“This is bullshit!” Taehyung shouted, tearing the beanie off of his head and chucking it across the room in favor of running his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I thought this was my album, Sejin. Why are these prats making all of the decisions?!”

Taehyung’s manager, Sejin, took a deep breath. Taehyung was prone to outbursts as of late, but he knew that the young singer’s anger simply came from a place of frustration, not cruelty. He’d been working for Taehyung for over three years now, he knew the young man better than most. 

“Taehyung, it’s just two songs. The rest of the album is all yours, but the company needs you to play nice so that—”

“I don’t care what the company wants,” Taehyung snapped, hands on his hips as he turned to face Sejin. “They don’t ever seem to care what I want in my music these days, so why should I listen to them?”

“Tae—”

“No, no! They would be a no-name recording label drowning in debt if I hadn’t signed with them and this is how they treat me! I’m done, I’m fucking done.” 

Taehyung slammed his hand against the wall beside him, and only felt slightly bad when he saw Sejin jump out of the corner of his eye. His broad chest heaved with breaths as he leaned his forehead against the wall and tried to calm down. 

“It’s not my music anymore,” he finally murmured. “It’s not … me.” He looked up, meeting Sejin’s eye. “I’m sick of doing the same damn formula for every song. The same chord progressions, the same shitty beat drops that sound like every other song, the same stupid ass lyrics that don’t mean anything. That’s not me, man. It’s not the fans either, I just feel … I feel like I’m lying to them every time I release a new shitty song that can be played in clubs but doesn’t really mean anything.” 

“The songs are doing well though.”

“Of course they are, the fans will support me no matter what I release, but if it’s not really from my heart then I’m just taking advantage of them!” Taehyung retorted, throwing his hands up in the air. “I’m sick of this! It’s been over a year since the company let me release anything that I wrote myself, and they won’t even give Scenery a chance!”

“You just have to be patient, Taehyung.”

“But I—”

“No, Taehyung, you have to be patient,” Sejin urged, cutting the singer off in a rare display of authority. “Your contract is up in a year. Just one year, and then you’ll have to resign for another four years or …”

Sejin trailed off, letting Taehyung connect the dots. He would never tell his young friend what to do, but he had seen the toll that lack of creative freedom was taking on the singer.  Taehyung had lost weight, his voice didn’t have that same vibrancy that it did when he was singing his own music, and he had been avoiding any sort of outings that might put him in the path of paparazzi or his fans. 

“Or I can choose not to re-sign with them,” Taehyung finished the thought in a quiet voice. He lifted his head to the ceiling, releasing a long breath. “Just one year. One more year. I can do that. I can do that, right?”

“Of course you can,” Sejin said quickly. ��One year will fly by.”

Taehyung huffed, flopping down on the couch of the green room connected to the studio of the shitty, obnoxious American producer that he was being forced to work with. 

“I’m not even twenty years old and I’m this tired,” he said with a humorless laugh, rubbing his eyes. 

“Actually, you are twenty years old.”

Taehyung looked at Sejin incredulously. “No I’m not. My birthday is tomorrow.”

“You were born in Korea, and your birthday started there an hour ago. Because of the time differences you—”

“Well why didn’t you say something?” Taehyung shouted, jumping up to his feet and muttering under his breath as he tried to take off the thick, clunky bracelet over his left wrist. 

Because of the occasional stalker and obsessive fan, the majority of celebrities who hadn’t found their soulmate yet had taken to keeping their soulmark area constantly covered — Taehyung had wanted to get in the habit of such even before his twentieth birthday. 

“I didn’t think you wanted me to bring up your soulmark in front of those assholes back there,” Sejin muttered under his breath. Taehyung smirked. It was rare that Sejin cursed, so it was clear that Taehyung wasn’t the only one who was sick of the jerks that the company had been forcing him to work with lately. 

“What’s it say?” the manager asked as Taehyung finally got the bracelet off of his left wrist. 

“It says … ‘It’s you.’”

“Oh.” Sejin cleared his throat. “Well … I guess she’ll be a fan?”

Taehyung let out a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t wait to meet his soulmate, sure, but a part of him had always romanticized the idea of someone falling for him first and then V, famous singer, second. 

That was a pipe dream and you know it, he rationalized to himself. 

The money, the fame, the countless opportunities that had been thrown Taehyung’s way since he was just barely seventeen were amazing, and he was thankful every day for them. 

But the way that things were going lately, between having to make music that wasn’t from his heart at all and countless rumors and scandals that were always being blown way out of proportion, Taehyung just wanted to feel normal — at least for a little while. To get his head back on straight.  

“Yeah, I guess so,” Taehyung muttered, not really thinking about his soulmate much at all in that moment. Even though if she was a fan, which it seemed like she was given her first words to him, she was probably thinking about him often. 

Guilt struck him immediately. He loved his fans, it wasn’t their fault at all that he wasn’t content. 

The inauthenticity of the situation was just getting to be too damn much. Being twenty years old was when he was supposed to really discovering himself, and yet his company wasn’t allowing him that opportunity. No matter the privileges he had, that was enough to drive someone crazy.  

“Just one year,” Taehyung muttered to himself, glancing up as Sejin clapped a hand on his shoulder. “One year.”

***

“Honey are you sure you don’t want to celebrate with us?”

“Mom I am going to celebrate with you and Dad,” you reassured your mother with a smile as you shrugged on your coat. “We’re having a birthday party tomorrow!”

“Yes, but I don’t know how I feel about you being alone for your soulmark appearance.”

“Mom I’ll be fine.” You leaned over and kissed your mother’s cheek swiftly. “I just want this moment to myself. Besides, I was born at 2 AM, nobody is going to want to stay awake that late just to see some words appear on my wrist.”

“I would!”

“Mom, you can’t stay up past 10:30 PM and we both know it,” you laughed. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning to help set up for the party. Bye, love you!”

You practically ran out the front door before your mother could say anything else, pulling your coat tighter to you. You picked a few pieces of stray dog hair that had attached itself to the material as you walked to your car. You weren’t sure if the dog hair was from your own dog at home, or if it was from one of the sweet little guys from the animal shelter you volunteered at. 

After taking a moment to appreciate the beauty of the night sky, you unlocked your car and hopped in, going through the motions of starting up your car and pulling out onto the main road.

The coast was about a three and a half hour drive away, which would put you sitting on the beach listening to the waves under a starry sky right as your soulmark was set to appear. Just how you had always imagined it. 

The drive was a familiar one, and you put on your favorite driving playlist to pass the time. The playlist mostly consisted of oldies that your dad had listened to with you when you were a child, a few rap songs, and some movie soundtracks that you liked. Nothing too current, honestly. You were so busy with taking online courses, waitressing, and volunteering at the shelter that you didn’t put much time into listening to the latest hits on Top 40. 

Not that you really liked current pop music. There was this annoying trend going on for the last couple years of songs only about partying and having sex with annoying beat drops in the background that all kind of sounded the same. 

Not that there was anything wrong with that kind of music, of course, it just wasn’t really your scene. 

Soon enough, your mind started wandering. Your thoughts jumped between ideas of what your soulmark might be, to the apartments you were looking at moving into soon (if you could ever find a roommate, that is), to one of the cats at the shelter that needed to find a home ASAP. 

You needed to call the shelter’s photographer on call tomorrow to help with that last one. The young woman was an amazing photographer that, like you, had a soft spot for animals. She’d started offering free shoots for the animals at the shelter that needed to be adopted sooner rather than later, hoping that by having professional photos of them to post on social media and on posters, people might be more inclined to take them in. 

You and the photographer got along well. You’d even talked about soulmarks recently when she heard that your twentieth birthday was coming up. 

(The photographer had yet to meet her soulmate, but her mark read, ‘Wait, please!’)

Realizing that you were thinking about work and responsibilities instead of just enjoying a peaceful drive to the beach, you decided you needed a change of pace. Not taking your eyes off the road, you turned off your driving playlist that had started to repeat and switched on the radio instead. 

The song that was playing was … 

Utter crap, honestly. 

“Ugh,” you muttered to yourself, wincing at the overuse of bass and a chord progression that sounded suspiciously exactly like that recent Chainsmokers song one of the guys at the shelter had played for you the other day. 

The male vocals were nice, you guessed. Even if the lyrics were about dicking down some random girl at a club.

Like you’d never heard that song before. 

Fortunately, you only had to listen to about a minute of the song before it was over. 

“Alright that was the one and only V on his brand new collaboration with Elia!” the radio announcer said as soon as the song was over. “Hey, did you hear the latest news about our dear heartthrob V?” he asked his cohost. 

“No,” the female announcer responded with an overdramatic gasp. You rolled your eyes. “What is it?”

“Paparazzi caught sight of his soulmark the other day.”

That time, you gasped alongside the female announcer. A celebrity soulmark sighting was awful, everyone agreed on that. There were countless horror stories of fans knowing their idol’s soulmark and saying the words to them and even faking their own soulmarks to try and trick them into a relationship. It was a nightmare scenario. 

“No!” the female announcer said even more dramatically. “I can’t believe it … but also, like … what’s it say? Just out of curiosity of course.”

While you curled your lip in disgust, the two announcers laughed together. You felt gross just listening to them discuss the celebrity’s soulmark like this, they had no respect for the sanctity of the marks.

You didn’t even know the celebrity (V, or something? Who names themselves a letter?), but no one deserved to have their mark discussed so flippantly. It was just plain disrespectful. 

“According to the picture, his mark says—”

You turned the radio off. 

“Assholes,” you muttered under your breath. 

You decided to take the last twenty minutes of the drive in silence, thinking of your soulmark and who your soulmate might be. 

Honestly, you weren’t picky at all. You trusted the soulmark system, and believed with all your heart that the person that had your first words to them tattooed on their wrist was going to be just right for you. You didn’t care what they looked like or did for a living, you knew they would be enough no matter what. 

The thought made you smile softly. You had a person out there designed just for you. It was unbelievable, but in the best kind of way. 

Finally you arrived at the secluded beach, parking close to the sand under a streetlight. You stretched as you stepped out of your car, grabbing your blanket and a flashlight and taking off your shoes before running towards the water. 

You didn’t care that you probably looked crazy running onto the beach at almost 2 AM by yourself — not that there was anyone around to see, anyways. You were excited — this was the moment you’d been waiting for for twenty years. 

In just minutes you were situated at the edge of the water, just close enough to feel the sea spray as the tide rolled in. You checked the time on your phone. 

Just a few seconds to go. You held the flashlight up to focus on the inside of your left wrist, cheeks hurting from grinning so much. 

And then it was appearing. Black lines slowly came into view and then … it was there.

The first words your soulmate would ever say to you. 

‘Do you even know who I am, you psycho?’

You blinked. 

“Well then,” you muttered to yourself, looking back out to the sea again, but this time with a decidedly not so ecstatic expression. “Didn’t see that one coming.”

***

A YEAR AND A HALF LATER 

“Dude, you know you can go out and actually do stuff, right? Not sure how you’re getting ‘inspiration’ by being holed up in my apartment all day.”

Taehyung narrowed his eyes as Jimin searched for his keys. He’d been staying at his best friend’s apartment for the past few weeks after finally calling it quits with the company that had treated him like shit for so long. He’d wanted to disappear, and his friendship with Jimin had stayed off the radar for the past few years, so his friend had gladly offered to let him stay at his place until he figured out his next move. 

Not that Taehyung had any idea what his next move was. He knew he had to keep making music or he’d go crazy, he just wasn’t ready to sign his creativity over to someone else again. 

“You know I can’t do that,” Taehyung retorted, scratching Jimin’s dog Chim behind the ears as the little mutt lounged on his lap. “I can’t risk being recognized.”

Jimin rolled his eyes, turning to face his friend head on. “They make things called masks, genius.”

“Hey, you’re the one who said I could come stay with you as long as I needed to.”

“And I mean it,” Jimin affirmed, checking his pink hair in the mirror by the front door. Being a hairdresser, Jimin did this annoyingly often. “You can. But you’ve got to get out and do something, Tae. Come with me to the salon, or go to the movies, or busk at the subway station. Do something, man.” 

“While busking at the dirty subway station does sound appealing,” Taehyung deadpanned, “I’m just … I’m nervous, Jimin. I don’t know how to be … normal anymore.”

Jimin turned back to his friend sympathetically. He didn’t understand Taehyung’s dilemma at all, but he could recognize fear and pain when he saw it. Subconsciously, he rubbed at the thick leather bracelet covering his left wrist. 

(Jimin hadn’t met his soulmate yet, but his mark read, ‘Stop right there!’ and he already hated himself for the way he was apparently going to inspire fear in the person he was supposed to love and cherish.) 

“Well if it makes you feel any better,” Jimin finally said, making an excited noise as he finally found his keys, “You were never really normal. But,” he held up his finger when Taehyung started to protest childishly, “I think that’s part of your charm. Now put on a face mask and go on a walk Chim. My house, my rules, go do it.”

“Jiminie, I—”

“Nope! No arguments! There’s a really nice dog park two blocks down! Bye!”

Jimin slipped out the door before Taehyung could say another word. 

“Jackass,” Taehyung murmured without any real bite. Chim looked up at him with his adorable big brown eyes. “Not you,” he assured the dog. “Just your dumb owner.” 

Chim whined, cocking his head to the side. One of his ears stuck up, while the other flopped down. It was ridiculous how cute the mutt was. 

“Ack, fine. You want to go on a walk, Chimmy? Not like I’m exactly stewing in song-writing inspiration now, right?”

Chim barked. 

“Gee thanks, bud.”

And that was how Taehyung started his daily walks to the dog park with Chim. 

***

“I’m going to murder him,” you seethed. 

The vet photographer just laughed, not even taking her eye away from her camera as she took shots of the pitbull puppy that had just been brought to the shelter last week. 

“You’re not going to murder anyone,” your friend said. 

“Oh yes I am. I’ve tried to catch him three times now, but I keep missing him by just minutes!”

“How do you know that?”

“The poop is still warm when I get there.”

“Ew!” Your friend did look away from her camera at that comment, scrunching up her nose. “That’s disgusting, Y/N.” 

“Yeah I know!” you retorted, walking over and picking up the puppy, holding him tight to your chest. “There’s signs everywhere in the dog park. ‘Clean up after your dog,’ ‘Please dispose of your dog’s waste here,’ ‘Dog waste bags available at the entrance of the park.’ And yet does this person clean up after their dog? No!” 

“How do you know it’s the same person doing it?” your friend asked, letting her camera hang from the strap around her neck as she scratched the top of the puppy’s head. 

“I can tell,” you said matter-of-factly. “It’s the same poop pattern.”

Your friend cackled at that, which stirred the puppy in your arms. “That’s so gross.”

“I’ve stepped in it twice,” you told her, gritting your teeth. “Everyone around here respects the rule, so whoever has been letting their dog poop in the park and then not clean it up for the past three weeks is a newbie. And I’m going to track him down and give him a piece of my mind!”

“How do you know it’s a he?” your friend asked, taking the puppy from you and repositioning him in her makeshift photoshoot set once again. 

“Oh I just know.”

“Don’t tell me you saw his poop pattern, too?”

“Aish, shut up and take the pictures!” 

***

Taehyung hummed under his breath as he led Chim down the street towards the dog park.

Even though Taehyung would never admit it to Jimin, his friend’s suggestion of walking Chim had been really, really good for him. It had helped him to realize that three years of fame and concerts and tours and events and press had left Taehyung with little to no schedule or routine in his life. 

And Taehyung liked routine, he was discovering. He liked being able to know or at least have an idea of what the next day held, he liked going on walks and not having to make an event of it, or care what he looked like or what brands of clothes or shoes he was wearing because paparazzi photos would imply that he was promoting them, and so on, and so on. 

He liked normalcy. At least small pieces of it. 

And he liked Chim. Taehyung and the dog had become the best of friends in the past three weeks of daily walks together, a fact which Jimin was only slightly jealous of. 

It was nice. And oddly enough, it was giving Taehyung inspiration for all sorts of new sounds and songs.

For three years Taehyung had gone on expensive retreats to try and find song-writing inspiration (not that his company had ever listened to any of his ideas after the success of his first EP), and now he was finding loads of it just walking his friend’s dog down the street for free.  

Such a simple task was giving Taehyung an entirely new perspective. It was his favorite thing to do, which was absolutely mind boggling considering he was a literal millionaire that could do just about anything he wanted.

He liked this change of pace though. 

“Ah, ah, no, Chim,” he said as the dog started to tug at his leash. “Come on bud, we go over this every day.”  

At the halfway point to the dog park, they passed a local animal shelter. It was close to the road, so Chim always heard dogs barking or saw someone in the parking lot with their animal. He rarely barked himself, but always tugged on his leash to try and get closer. 

“Come on, Chimmie, let’s go.”

With a huff, Taehyung did what he usually ended up doing and just reached down and picked up the dog, tucking him under his arm to walk him away from the sight of the shelter. 

But as he stood back up, he glanced over to the shelter and froze. 

As you stepped out of the building leading a medium sized golden retriever puppy, talking to it softly, Taehyung found himself unable to look away. 

You were smiling, talking with the clearly skittish dog in a soothing voice. Your skin seemed to glow as the sun shone down on you and you were objectively stunning, even in plain jeans and a purple tee. 

As if sensing that you were being watched, you glanced up from the dog you were working with to look up at Taehyung standing on the sidewalk. 

Taehyung stiffened, looking away and walking with Chim down the street once more. It had been an instinct reaction, fearing that he had been recognized. 

Then he remembered that he was wearing a mask and felt like an idiot for not looking at you for another moment more. 

***

“Hey, hey!” 

Your friend jumped as you came flying around the corner, almost dropping her camera in the process. 

“You scared me!” she said with a hand on her chest to catch her breath. “What is it? What’s wrong”

“Can you get this sweet guy back into his crate? I have to go catch him!”

“Catch who?” your friend asked, taking the leash of the golden retriever you were leading. 

“The dog poop guy!” you shouted, voice fading as you took off back out the door. “I’m finally gonna catch the dog poop guy!”

***

“Alright Chim,” Taehyung muttered, voice slightly muffled beneath his mask. “Go ahead, do your business.”

Chim looked up at him with those adorable puppy dog eyes of his. 

“Seriously? We go over this everyday. I’m not watching. And there’s no one else even here!” Taehyung gestured around to the empty park. It was a Monday around 10 o’clock in the morning, which meant the park was empty save for the two of them. 

“Fine,” he muttered after a few more seconds of Chim staring at him. He leaned down and unclicked his leash since there were no other dogs around, which Chim yipped excitedly about. “Go ahead, the world is your poop yard.”

Chim took off in a run around the fence as Tae sat atop the wooden picnic table and looked around. 

It was a beautiful day. The weather was mild enough to wear short sleeves, the sun was shining but not overbearing, and it was a quiet area. 

This was the normalcy he had been craving. After years of being on the road and constantly working with no real fulfillment, this was the contentment he had actually been striving for. 

He let out a deep breath, leaning back on his palms and looking up at the clouds. He began humming a new melody under his breath, the words to a song that was almost finished just lacking … something. 

He managed to hum for just a few more seconds when he heard the gate open. 

Taehyung snapped his head up to make sure Chim hadn’t run out, but the person coming in had already closed it behind them. 

And it was … you. The girl from the shelter. Except this time you didn’t have the golden retriever with you. 

Out of habit, Taehyung lifted a hand to make sure his mask was still in place. 

Chim barked excitedly, running to greet the stranger. 

“Easy, buddy,” Taehyung called out to the dog as he ran around your legs. You kept walking towards Taehyung, making sure not to step on Chim in the meantime. 

Taehyung hopped off of the picnic table and opened his mouth to say hello or … something, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say honestly, he hadn’t spoken to anyone but Jimin in almost a month. 

But before he could speak, you beat him to the punch. 

“It’s you!” 

Taehyung froze as you marched up and pointed in his face. 

He’d heard those words from countless crazed fans since his soulmark had leaked. The words that were supposed to fill him with joy at finding his soulmate now filled him with dread. 

How the hell had you recognized him with a mask on and his hair a different color than his last paparazzi sighting?

“You are the poop guy!” 

Taehyung blinked. 

What the hell? he thought to himself. He tried to speak, but you weren’t letting him. 

“For three weeks I’ve been bringing the shelter dogs here to play and do you know how many times I have stepped in your dog’s poop?”

Taehyung opened his mouth. 

“Seven times!” you shrieked. “Seven times and now two of my favorite pairs of shoes are ruined because they are cloth and I can’t get rid of the poop smell. Can you read?”

Once again, Taehyung tried to speak. 

“There are signs!” you yelled, gesturing around the park. “Three signs as a matter of fact! The park even has bags for you to use! It takes five seconds to clean up after your dog! It’s common courtesy!”

Your voice was as shrieky as ever, and your shoulders heaved as you caught your breath. 

“Well?” you asked, throwing your hands up in the air. “Aren’t you going to say anything? An apology will suffice, but I prefer a promise to start cleaning up after your dog.”

Taehyung swallowed thickly and you tracked the movement. You couldn’t see the majority of his face because he was wearing a mask over his mouth, but he was built well and had cute fluffy brown hair hanging over his forehead. 

Doesn’t matter if he’s cute, he’s not following common dog-owner courtesy, you scolded yourself. 

Slowly, he reached up and tugged off his mask. 

Aw crap, you thought. He’s not just cute, he’s model level hot. 

And he was. His facial features were striking, you’d honestly never seen anyone as attractive as him. But you stood your ground, focusing on the fact that he had ruined two pairs of your favorite shoes and made you give four of the shelter dogs a bath because they stepped in his dog’s poop. Hot or not, that was unacceptable.

Finally, he spoke (not that you had given him much opportunity to until now).

“Do you even know who I am,” Taehyung asked softly, genuinely curious.

But before he finished speaking, he remembered that you had just yelled at him like a crazy person without even letting him defend himself. 

“—you psycho?”

Your jaw dropped as the now annoyingly attractive man leveled up in his own irritation. 

You briefly registered in the back of your mind that oh shit, this is my soulmate, but quite frankly your soulmate was being a dick! 

“It’s a dog park!” Taehyung shouted. “Dogs poop! How hard is it to look down and see where you’re stepping?”

“I shouldn’t have to look down where I’m stepping!” you shot back. “If all dogs pooped here without their owners cleaning up after them, it would be anarchy!”

“Poop is biodegradable!”

“What?! It takes dog poop like three months to decompose!”

“Well that’s … longer than I thought!” he admitted, still yelling. “It doesn’t matter, you shouldn’t be screaming at strangers!”

“You’re not a stranger, you’re my soulmate!” 

Taehyung blinked, mouth slightly agape. You realized your mistake. 

“I mean, I-I don’t know who you are,” you muttered. “But you said the words, so — and by the way, rude first words to say to your other half!”

You held up your left wrist, showing your soulmate your mark. 

‘Do you even know who I am, you psycho?’

He winced. 

After the shouting match, the quiet between the two of you seemed oddly profound. 

“Do you … do you actually know who I am though?” he asked quietly. 

You raised your eyebrow. “Other than my soulmate and the guy who lets his dog poop freely in a public place? Uh, no, I don’t.”

Taehyung let out a deep breath, laughing softly. 

“Good, that’s … good,” he said quietly, his striking eyes looking up at you from beneath his eyelashes. “Sorry about the dog poop.”

“No you’re not.”

“No, I’m really not. If it makes you feel any better, it’s not my dog.”

“That has nothing to do with it!”

“Do you always yell so much?!”

“No I’m usually very pleasant!”

“Well you could’ve fooled me!”

“Well ask me on a date and I’ll prove it to you!”

“Fine, do you want to go out to dinner tonight?!”

“Yes, there’s a good restaurant next to my apartment we can go to!”

“That sounds great!”

“You’re really pretty, I hope you know that!”

“You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen!”

“I hope it doesn’t freak you out, but I’m actually a famous musician and my stage name is V!”

“Wait, what?”

You stepped back in shock at his declaration and right into a big, fresh pile of — 

“Ack! For fuck’s sake, clean up after your damn dog!”

You wanted to hate him for laughing so hard, but after looking at his boxy smile and the way his dog (okay not his dog, but still) was running around his feet yipping excitedly … you just couldn’t do it. 

Your soulmark wasn’t exactly the best, but … you had a feeling the man on the other side of it was going to turn out to be perfect for you.

Even if he did continue to laugh as you scraped the dog poop off the bottom of yet another new pair of shoes. 

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, December 7

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Hillary Clinton health crisis 

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Larsa Pippen in a bikini in Fort Lauderdale, Olivia Culpo wrestles with recycling outside her L.A. office, Shia LaBeouf ditches his face covering for a phone call in an L.A. market 

Page 3: Pete Wentz plays tennis, Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe outside the Dancing with the Stars studio, Sean Penn hits the beach in Hawaii 

Page 4: Barbara Walters was sharp as a tack when she grilled the world’s biggest leaders but ravaging dementia has now tragically turned the 91-year-old into a prisoner in her own bed 

Page 5: Pistol-packing Elvis Presley was so gaga over guns that he’d even take a firearm to bed with him 

* Ringo Starr’s childhood bout with appendicitis at age six caused him to fall into a coma and spend a year in the hospital to recover then five years later he contracted tuberculosis and spent two years in a sanitarium where he discovered drums as part of the hospital band 

Page 6: If it’s true that Gentleman Prefer Blondes Marilyn Monroe was the perfect star for the flick because she dyed her carpet platinum to match the drapes -- beauty guru Kenneth Battelle suggested Marilyn change the color of her pubic hair after a jerk spilled champagne over her sheer dress at a party showing everything because she didn’t wear skivvies so the guru ran to the hotel drugstore and got some dye and told Marilyn to go in the bathroom and bleach 

Page 7: Celine Dion has turned into a frightening bag of bones leaving friends worried she’s headed for a catastrophic health crisis -- now down to a gaunt 96 pounds the star is driving herself to the brink of collapse with a diet and exercise plan to prepare for the relaunch of her hit world tour and she starves herself in her drive for perfection and to maintain the stick-thin look that helped turn her into a fashion icon

* Julianne Hough confesses feeling she didn’t deserve the A-list life she enjoyed while dating Ryan Seacrest where she was on private planes and yachts and living in a very well-off house and her life was pretty different from where she grew up -- she left Ryan in 2013 after three years because she wanted to create that for herself because she felt like she didn’t deserve it 

Page 8: Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson is searching for the Fountain of Youth by working out with Pierce Brosnan’s trainer -- the ex-wife of disgraced Prince Andrew is following a grueling exercise regimen in hopes of joining people who are said to be biologically younger than their true age 

Page 9: Disgraced Prince Andrew has been kicked from the royal family and now Prince Charles plans to boot his sister Princess Anne from his inner circle once he becomes king -- while the princess has carried her share of official engagements Charles plans to shrink the monarchy after his mother Queen Elizabeth passes and the phrase slimmed-down royal family constantly keeps coming up and the royal family will evolve with Charles coming to the throne -- Anne will be on the chopping block mostly because of ambitious Duchess Camilla who is Charles’ wife and who has carried out a ruthless dirty plan to be queen for decades and she wants no one else taking the limelight and that includes Charles’ sister

* Prince Harry and wife Meghan Markle dissed his dad Prince Charles with a surprising public snub as the couple failed to publicly wish Charles a happy birthday when he turned 72 -- Queen Elizabeth and Prince William and Duchess Kate all sent birthday wishes to the future king on social media but Harry and Meghan took a pass even though Harry popped up on the British TV show Strictly Come Dancing that night to wish a pal good luck

Page 10: A nuclear-sized catfight has exploded in North Korea where dictator Kim Jong-un’s baby sister and his pop star lover are battling to claw their way to be top gal -- while sister Kim Yo-jong seemed to be running the nation after Kim vanished and was rumored dead he popped back up with old galpal Hyon Song-wol on his arm and his current wife Ri Sol-ju nowhere to be seen 

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Mario Lopez wearing a clear mask (picture), Lauren Simon of The Real Housewives of Cheshire in the U.K. claims to have had sex with an actual ghost, Kaley Cuoco has a theory about shooting those sexy big bangs with ex-boyfriend Johnny Galecki that the pair’s sneaky sitcom boss got a kick putting the real-life former lovers under the covers, Reese Witherspoon lost her beloved dog Pepper to cancer and returned to her ole Southern roots when picking a name for her brand-new puppy: Minnie Pearl, plagued by seemingly endless allegations of being mean and ignoring a toxic workplace Ellen DeGeneres is now plugging a Be Kind subscription box valued at $270

Page 13: Kristen Taekman tops of her gas tank in L.A. (picture), Jeff Goldblum feeding a parking meter in L.A. (picture), Hilary Duff gets primped and primed on the NYC set of Younger (picture) 

Page 14: Reclusive ailing widow Yoko Ono finally loosened the reins and is handing over her $800 million empire to Sean Lennon her only child with Beatles legend John Lennon but John’s eldest son Julian Lennon was left out of the hitmaker’s will but Julian managed to eke out a $25 million settlement okayed by Yoko after he dragged his famous dad’s estate to court, Kelsea Ballerini snapped at a nosy fan for rudely asking if her rounded tummy was a blossoming baby bump

* Fashion Verdict -- Lara Spencer 9/10, Laura Veltz 2/10, Lauren Akins 3/10, Lauren Alaina 4/10 

Page 16: Michael Jackson’s baby mama Debbie Rowe reveals getting pregnant was no thrill because she was artificially impregnated -- Debbie met ex-husband Michael when she was working for his dermatologist and she insists the couple never had sex and a sperm donor fathered the pop star’s two kids she carried in her womb -- son Prince Jackson is rumored to have been fathered by Debbie’s doctor boss Arnold Klein -- British actor Mark Lester claims her could be Paris Jackson’s father -- Debbie is unsure of the paternity of Michael’s youngest son Blanket who now goes by Bigi Jackson

Page 17: Fans gaga for Dr. McDreamy on Grey’s Anatomy got a super thrill on the season 17 premiere when Patrick Dempsey returned to the hit hospital drama after departing the show five years ago -- Dempsey whose character Dr. Derek Shepherd died in a car crash came back in a dream sequence reuniting with star Ellen Pompeo’s Dr. Meredith Grey on a beach -- Dempsey split from the show to spend more time with his family and pursue his auto racing hobby but he’ll return to the show several more times 

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About Emma Corrin

* Reba McEntire reveals she turned down The Voice gig that went to Blake Shelton and now she regrets it big-time 

* Nip/tuck junkie Dolly Parton says she plans to keep freshening her face by going under the knife and crows she’s gonna look like a cartoon and she’ll look as young as her plastic surgeons will allow her 

Page 20: True Crime 

Page 21: Former soap stud Cody Longo was socked with a domestic abuse charge following a jealous booze-fueled attack on his dancer wife Stephanie Clark -- Cody played Nicholas Alamain on Days of Our Lives from 2011-2012 

Page 23: Meredith Baxter felt booby-trapped by her enormous breasts and confesses she welcomed breast-reduction surgery after getting cancer -- the Family Ties star reveals her former 42-inch bust was the plague of her life

* Weatherman Al Roker has a secret weapon in his stormy battle to recover from prostate cancer surgery which is the love and support of his wife Deborah Roberts who is keeping him happy and positive doting on him day and night plus they talk about everything and make medical decisions together so there’s no fear or anxiety entering their world 

* Jennifer Lopez kicked booty when a federal judge dismissed a $40 million lawsuit brought by a former stripper who claims she inspired the hit movie Hustlers -- Samantha Barbash claims she’s the real-life model for J.Lo’s pole-dancing swindler Ramona Vega and insisted the movie ruined her rep by implying she did drugs around her kids but the judge tossed the case because Barbash’s name or portrait or picture or voice wasn’t used in the film 

Page 24: Cover Story -- Hillary Clinton has tragically packed on nearly 100 pounds since she vanished from the spotlight four years ago and is struggling to breathe and walk and now a medical expert is warning the 73-year-old is facing a health crisis as she tips the scales at 247 pounds -- Hillary has a history of broken bones and shocking collapses 

Page 26: Health Report

Page 30: Country girl Carly Pearce’s divorce from Michael Ray has gone from bad to ugly and he’s now parading his romance with Travis Tritt’s daughter Tyler Reese Tritt -- Carly was all for taking the high road but now she’s taken off the gloves -- they’re bad-mouthing each other far and wide and Carly’s tossed everything that reminds her of Michael 

* Southern Charm belle Madison LeCroy has been flashing a pic of her newest charms which is a set of bigger boobs 

Page 36: Diva Mariah Carey’s demanding ways are driving her boyfriend Bryan Tanaka bonkers and the couple of four years may be headed for Splitsville unless she changes her ways -- Mariah treats Bryan like an assistant instead of a lover and it’s giving him fits and he’s been so patient with Mariah and he loves her but she’s wearing him out with her incessant orders like she has him drawing up her schedule for online greets plus she’s ordering him to do all her holiday shopping for friends and be in charge of everything from decorations to food prep 

* Emma Roberts confesses being pregnant makes her weepy and she’s hit the point where like halfway up the stairs she has to sit down sometimes and maybe tears roll down a couple times a week but despite that Emma says she feels grateful and lucky to be expecting her first child

Page 38: Real Life 

Page 40: Phil Collins’ embarrassing court battle with third ex Orianne Cevey is casting a pall over his daughter Lily Collins’ wedding plans -- Lily is desperate to tie the knot with Charlie MacDowell but the dirty charges flying back may force her to put the happy day on hold and it’s hard for Lily to concentrate on making wedding plans when her father is caught in an ugly public fight -- Orianne is battling over Phil’s $38 million Miami mansion where they lived after reuniting in 2018 

Page 44: Straight Talk -- NXIVM cult is warning to us all 

Page 45: Treasure hunters have launched a frantic search for a $150 million stash of gangster gold hidden by mobster Dutch Schultz in Upstate New York after two sleuths recently discovered coins they believe are linked to the stash -- following a long list of cryptic clues Canadian fortune seekers Steve Zazulyk and Ryan Fazekas uncovered gold coins dated 1903 a few miles from the Prohibition Era beer baron’s hangout in the Catskills town of Phoenicia and their find triggered a race against other prosecutors seeking a two-by-three-foot steel box filled with diamonds and gold coins and $1000 bills and $7 billion in World War I Liberty Bonds and the hoard has an estimated value of $150 million today 

[popculturebuffet]

Close Enough: So Long Boys And Clap Like This

ON this hour’s episodes: Josh decides to have a vasectomy after a pregnancy scare and soons end up dealing with second thoughts and bostonian robots while Alex regrets getting his after meeting what are maybe his children. Then Josh finally sells a game but it falls through and takes up extra jobs to avoid telling his family while Bridgette is forced to get a real job on her birthday and Alex enjoys inudstrial humis. Clap Like This under the cut. 

So Long Boys

Aka the greatest vacesctomy based comedy episode since Brooklyn Nine Nine’s “Choclate Milk”. If you don’t know the show or don’t remember that episode if you are a fellow 99er it’s the one where Jake thinks his superior officer and friend Terry getting a vasectomy means chopping his penis off. I mean it starts off just assuming he’s making a joke but it becomes blurry if he’s just making quips or genuinely thinks that’s how it works. It’s also easy to compare these two because they both, while vastly diffrent and great episodes in their own rights: have a simlilar beat to the plot: a character trying to get a vasectomy for responsible reasons but being unsure they don’t wnat more kids. It’s just Brooklyn Nine Nine is more also about Jake being hurt Terry dosen’t think of him as a friend, a position he reverses while Close Enough has indentured pop and lock teenagers, a dark ride dedicated to scaring people out of kids and bostionan robots that sound like JFK from Clone HIgh. How does any of this fit together, let’s take a look. 

So we open with Josh and Emily having a huge pregnancy scare, which was caused by the birthday sex from the pitch trailer aka Josh trying to pass it off as “we’re just doing our taxes sweetie!”. In other words the main bit I wanted to see transfered to the show proper. And while there’s a few joke this scene is mostly played for drama.. it’s not out of tone with the rest of the show. What really has made this show work for me is it combines regular show antics, but with the added maturity of having an older cast dealing with growing up. A bunch of 30 somethings to start instead of a bunch of 20 somethings so instead of dealing with stuff like video game competitionts, guys nights, and dating woes, it’s more dealing with juggling family and friends, having a job you hate and trying to ballance your career with your passion.  And here is no diffrent: Josh and Emily HAVE no money, live in a cramped apartment with their best friends and a newly divorced couple which as we’ve seen isn’t always easy, and work jobs htey utterly hate and would have to double down on, snuffing out their real dreams, in order to support this kid. Josh outright says he’ll get a second job and give up his video game development which wihle it’d probably be miserable for him would be a sad neciscity. I myself do this blog on the side while trying desperatley to get an actual paying job, it sucks and their situation is compounded by having a kid on top of it who needs their support and attention. It’s stressful enough without adding a second child. Thankfully it’s a false alarm.  However Josh, in a show of responsibility decided to do something about it and get a vasectomy. Still being josh though, his getting one also involves a massive and hilarious vasectomy party, where a bunch of people we never met, and alex and bridgette obviously play party games involving pinning sisssors on testies and theires even a breakdancing sperm. Emily and Pearle’s reactions are gold to this: Emily, before the opening, tells Josh he’s not allowed to plan parties anymore, understandable while Pearle genuinely didn’t belivie they were dumb enough to have a vasectomy party and gives out an understandable “Damn you white people” when she’s proven wrong. Alex also gets set up for his subplot in the episode mentioning he got his a year ago, which given his and Bridgette’s relationship was probably falling apart around then was a good call. I do however like this: Something big happend and Josh is taking responsibility for it, while still being josh about it, but it shows how unlike a lot of idiot heroes in adult cartoons,he’s still a genuinely nice guy who tries to do what’s right, and has more than one brain cell. he has two thank you. So Alex drives josh to get a vasectomy, while Randy presumibly watches Candace as we only see her at the start (Peale was watching her during hte party to help keep her in the dark for now) and finish of the episode. Meanwhile Emily, Bridgette and Pearle have a small B plot having brunch mamosas and boxing up candace’s baby stuff. We also find out for 100% sure our heroines nationatlities: Bridgette is japanese while Emily is Mexican. Mostly because Bridgette always saw Emily with a bigger family and only half for racist reasons that get her handcuffed to a pipe by a drunken Pearle. This show really needs more of Pearle asa every time she shows up she’s a fucking delight and if the show hopefully returns for season 2 I could easily see her getting more screentime. Emily ends up in tears and realizing she may want more kids, which is.. resonable. Their only 32. While it’s resonable to want or have any amount of kids, except like 20 like that one tlc show... I never watched it but when the only two things you hear about a show you don’t watch is the weird, archacic dating setup they have that feels like it produces a good marriage as much as Charlie Sheen did, and that the mother won’t stop having kids despite it nearly killing her  multiple times and having you know 20, you kinda don’t want to watch it.  Anyway it’s resonable to want a family of any size you want, Emily realises she’s not sure she wants to stop at 1 just yet.  Meanwhile in the A-Plot Josh has come to the same conclusion after finding out that not only is this version of a vasectomy he’s getting permentant, mostly due to ball scorching done by robots, but after a hilarious but deeplly insulting carnival ride in the clinic that’s supposed to Scare josh out of having kids and features two teenagers fighting and pop and locking, a goblin and a wall just saying why why why why, impilng kids ruin your sleep, your romantic lives and are terrible. Josh however understandably takes offense to this, and seeing a brother and sister.. only make him not want to deprive candace of possibly having a sister oneday. Again while he and Emily are in no way in position for a second kid now.. they have time and Josh could easily sell a game at some point: he almost does in the next episode. ONe of Emily and Bridgette’s songs could go viral. Or Josh could end up finding a much better day job or Emily could get a promtion at hers. While not wanting to have a second child while they can’t support one is the right move, Josh realizes not wanting ot have one at all, at least in their spectfic case, was an overreaction to a scary situation.  Josh decides to think more, despite the doctor offring up some pubic scaping for extra, and he and Alex end up finding the Teens from the ride.. who are in fact real kids who look an AWFUL lot and act an awfl lot like alex and are basically indentured to the doctor,who treats them like crap and has them undder contract to pop and lock for him and look at his new pubic hair designs (”Those nights are the hardest”). Josh decides not to go through with it but the bostioan robots who do the procedure refuse to let that happen and leave Josh, Alex and the Twins on the run, while Alex himself reconsiders parenthood as he’s now proud of what he thinks are his kids. As the four are cornered it turns out the doctor is also a prisoner.. but an unsympathetic one since he can A) go home and B) is willingly collaberating with obnoxious robots to do a dangerous verison of a serious procedure to save his own ass and is karmically atomized. When Alex brings up his thinking the kids are his, they sadly explain he isn’t: Their dad’s a republican senator (Tot hteir shame the girl, who I almost forgot to mention is voiced by the wonder Kate MIccui, in her second role in a JG Quintel show. HOpefully if there’s a season 2 or the show stars having arcs they can find a full role for her on the show. ) and Alex finds his sperm he donated ended up in a dumpster.. but is determined to protect the kids anyway. Thankfully our heroes are able to escape with Emily, who sneaks ina fter the robots locked down the faicility’s help, with Josh bummed because he was proud for being responsible as the two discuss still wanting to have kids, with Emily pointing out .. this is STILL responsible. Not going through with something you have doubts about and having an honest talk with your partner is the responsbe thing> The five of them escape, and while Alex knows he’s not the teens father, offers to be there for them if they ever need it.  Wrapping things up at a skating rink, The Ramierz’ skate and Josh and Emily plan to do their taxes again later, though likely with a rubber this time, and Alex got his vasectomy reverse and is really weird about it to Bridgette’s annoyance. Also 20,000 years into the future subhuman cavemen versions of hismelf are the dominatne lifeform Neat. Overall this ep was really good, having great character stuff for Josh Emily and Alex, while still having some good bits for the rest of the main cast minus randy who I feel the show honestly forgets exists half the time, with drunk Pearle being a delight. But it’s the emotional core for both sides: Josh and Emily hastily deciding to not have more kids before wondering if they want to keep the option open while Alex realisses he might want to be a dad himself and his bond with waht he thinks are his kids and protectivness of them is really sweet. It’s also not lacking in great jokes; The entire rollercoaster of “DON’T HAVE KIDS” is just black comedy gold from start to finsih including the green goblin for some reaosn, the boston robots and vasectomy doctor are great vilians and overall the episode is just really good and really mature for an episode that also makes plenty of testicle scaping jokes. You can do both. 

Clap Like This

And continuing the trend from the last few episodes, we have the weaker one (though Golden Gamer was still pretty damn good), second this time around, though like Golden Gamer it’s still decent.  The plot is a bit simplier and starts with Josh FINALLY selling a game to two idiot tech billionares, Clap LIke This, a game about clapping along that actually seems really damn fun and I wish were real like Ladder World.  While Emily enjoys being able to spend money and her husband finally living his dream or so she thinks, Bridgette, who we find out has been on an allowance from her parents, is cut off on her birthday and has to get a job at a forever 23, one of the few times this show has used an offbrand and not nearlya s awesome a name as “Plugger Inners” it feels lazier if only because again, Plugger Inners exists. But as was revealed earlier, the two guys who bought it went broke and the deal feell through but josh, feeling terrrible about them not being able to afford the finer things anymore, hides it from his family and takes as many shifts as possible at plugger inners. He also runs into David Hasslehoff doing his best mitch von malibu as he just.. throws more money at josh to do what his son asks. Or nephew or whatever. I went back and redited this after finding out that really was him and supposed to be him. I’m also calling his annoying son Hobie for reasons that will be come clear if you’ve ever watched allison pregler’s baywatching series but it’s always fun to see the hoff in something. Especailly the time he made this really embarassing music video. 

But alass the 200 dollars Hoff made off “jump in my car”  that he gave josh isn’t enough and with him having taken all the insltation jobs josh is forced to turn to black market insltations including one where he installs a tv while jaws eats a guy.. I genuinely wish they’d used this song.

[adultwithimaginaryfriends]

365 Day Song Challenge

Day 1: Your favorite song

Day 2: A song with your favorite lyrics

Day 3: Favorite song with a color in the title

Day 4: Another top five favorite song (different from 1)

Day 5: A song that makes you feel like a rebel

Day 6: A song that helps you relax

Day 7: Favorite cover version of a song

Day 8: A song from your favorite religious band/artist

Day 9: A song that you listen to when you’re going through tough times

Day 10: Another top five favorite song (different from 1 and 4)

Day 11: A song that makes you smile

Day 12: A song that makes you feel successful

Day 13: A song with unusual sounds/instruments

Day 14: A song with complex instrumentation (odd time signatures, tempo changes, etc)

Day 15: A song with lyrics that make you think 

Day 16: Another top five favorite song (different from 1, 4, and 10)

Day 17: A song with your favorite male vocals

Day 18: A song with your favorite female vocals

Day 19: Another top five favorite song (different from 1, 4, 10, and 16)

Day 20: A song similar to the zodiac sign Aquarius (original, unique, progressive) 

Day 21: A song that makes you feel nostalgic

Day 22: A song with strange or nonsensical lyrics

Day 23: A song that you like that people wouldn’t expect you to

Day 24: A song you like with the most profanity in the  lyrics

Day 25: An underrated song by your favorite band/artist

Day 26: The first song you heard by your favorite band/artist

Day 27: Favorite song with a number in the title

Day 28: An underrated song from your favorite album

Day 29: Oldest song you love

Day 30: Newest song you love

Day 31: A song that makes you sad

Day 32: A song you like from a band that you hate

Day 33: A song you like from a genre you hate

Day 34: Favorite song to work out to

Day 35: Favorite love song

Day 36: A song with your favorite guitar riff

Day 37: A song with your favorite bassline

Day 38: A song with your favorite drums

Day 39: A song with your favorite keyboard riff

Day 40: A song that sounds like it was written about you

Day 41: Your party song

Day 42: Favorite song to let your anger out to

Day 43: Favorite song to cry to

Day 45: Favorite breakup song

Day 46: A song that reminds you of a vacation you took

Day 47: Catchiest song that you like

Day 48: A guilty pleasure song

Day 49: A song similar to the zodiac sign Pisces (emotional, dreamy, gentle)

Day 50: A song that you like that everyone else hates

Day 51: Favorite instrumental song

Day 52: A song you like that is slow

Day 53: A song you like that is fast

Day 54: Darkest song you like

Day 55: Lightest song you like 

Day 56: A song with the name of one of the four elements in the title (earth, water, fire, air)

Day 57: Favorite song with the name of an animal in the title

Day 58: Favorite song with a title that’s also the name of a book

Day 59: A song you sing in the shower

Day 60: A song by a musician you have a crush on

Day 61: A song with a month in the title

Day 62: Favorite song about drugs

Day 63: A great song from the 60s

Day 64: A song that makes you want to improve the world

Day 65: Song with the simplest instrumentation

Day 66: A song your parents would be shocked to find you listening to

Day 67: A song that makes you laugh

Day 68: A song that reminds you of a current news story

Day 69: Favorite song about sex

Day 70: A song that reminds you of your best friend

Day 71: A song with the name of a plant in the title

Day 72: A great song from the 70s

Day 73: Favorite song with a day of the week in the title

Day 74: A song you listen to when it’s raining

Day 75: The first song on your favorite album

Day 76: A song you love to dance to

Day 77: A song that you used to hate but now like

Day 78: A song that reminds you of spring

Day 79: A song you’d be shocked to find your children listening to (even if you don’t have any)

Day 80: A song similar to the zodiac sign Aries (aggressive, passionate, straightforward)

Day 81: A great song from the 80s

Day 82: A stereotypically girly song that you like

Day 83: A stereotypically manly song that you like

Day 84: A song from an album that you like most of (but has a couple of songs you hate) 

Day 85: A song you listen to while working (housework, schoolwork, or your job)

Day 86: A song you want to be played at your funeral

Day 87: A song you’d like to dedicate to someone you hate

Day 88: The most controversial song you like

Day 89: A song about something ending (a relationship, an era, etc)

Day 90: A song about something beginning

Day 91: A great song from the 90s

Day 92: Favorite song to fall asleep to

Day 93: A song with a title that’s also the name of a movie

Day 94: Favorite song from a musical

Day 95: Favorite song to listen to in the car

Day 96: A song that you would sing at karaoke (even if you don’t do karaoke)

Day 97: A song you listen to when you’re with your friends

Day 98: A song you listen to when you’re alone

Day 99: A song about death

Day 100: The last song on your favorite album

Day 101: A song that you want to use for this challenge but haven’t had the chance yet

Day 102: A great song from the 2000s

Day 103: A song you know all the lyrics to

Day 104: Favorite song that sounds happy but has sad/scary/angry lyrics

Day 105: Favorite song that sounds sad/scary/angry but has happy lyrics

Day 106: A song from a band/artist that you have a shirt for

Day 107: A song you like that was released on your birthday (not necessarily the same year)

Day 108: A song from a band/artist you got into because of the internet

Day 109: A song that reminds you of a place you’ve been to

Day 110: A song similar to the zodiac sign Taurus (sensual, unchanging, slow)

Day 111: A song that reminds you of home

Day 112: A song by a band/artist from your home country

Day 113: A song by a band/artist from a foreign country you’ve traveled to

Day 114: A song by a band/artist from a foreign country you haven’t traveled to

Day 115: A great song from the 2010s

Day 116: A song by someone you have seen in concert

Day 117: The last song you listened to

Day 118: A rock song you like

Day 119: A pop song you like

Day 120: A country song you like

Day 121: A rap song you like

Day 122: An electronic song you like

Day 123: A song you like from a genre that not a lot of people know about

Day 124: Favorite song from a movie that is not a musical

Day 125: Favorite song from a video game

Day 126: A song you just recently started listening to

Day 127: A song you wish described you or your experiences, but doesn't

Day 128: Deepest song you've ever heard

Day 129: A song with shallow lyrics that you like anyway

Day 130: A song that makes you feel like a badass

Day 131: A song with the best intro

Day 132: A song you like that starts out slow, but is fast by the end

Day 133: Look at a Billboard year-end 100 for a random year and pick your favorite song from it

Day 134: A song that makes you feel good about yourself

Day 135: A song you like that everyone (or almost everyone) you know likes

Day 136: A song from your favorite genre

Day 137: A song that your friends laugh at you for liking

Day 138: Your favorite parody song

Day 139: A song you like that uses no electronic instruments (including electric guitars)

Day 140: A song you like that uses no non-electronic instruments

Day 141: A song similar to the zodiac sign Gemini (Changing, loud, cerebral)

Day 142: A song that reminds you of someone you know

Day 143: A song that reminds you of a celebrity (not the person singing the song)

Day 144: A song that reflects your political beliefs

Day 145: A song that reflects your religious beliefs

Day 146: A song that reflects other beliefs that you have

Day 147: A beautiful song

Day 148: A song that feels larger than life

Day 149: A song you’d be shocked to find your parents listening to

Day 150: Look behind you and think of a song that reminds you of the first object you notice

Day 151: A song with the name of a food in the title

Day 152: A song with the name of a drink in the title

Day 153: A song you like that creeps you out

Day 154: A song you like from an album with a pretty album cover

Day 155: A song you like from an album with an ugly album cover

Day 156: A song that reminds you of being outdoors

Day 157: A song that reminds you of being indoors

Day 158: A song with a mythical/paranormal creature’s name in the title (vampire, dragon, etc)

Day 159: A song you like from a band/artist you have mixed thoughts on

Day 160: A song that could’ve been one of your favorites if it wasn’t for one issue

Day 161: A song you only listen to at night

Day 162: A song you only listen to during the day

Day 163: A song by an artist that inspires you

Day 164: A song that sounds like it should be in a movie, but isn’t

Day 165: A song you can always listen to no matter what mood you’re in

Day 166: A song that reminds you of someone you hate

Day 167: A song that reminds you of outer space

Day 168: A song from your favorite combined genre (Metal combined with opera, pop combined with punk, etc)

Day 169: Favorite use of a sample in a song

Day 170: A song from a band you like that has a toxic fanbase

Day 171: A song similar to the zodiac sign Cancer (Emotional, sweet, moody)

Day 172: A song that reminds you of summer

Day 173: Favorite song sung in a language other than your first one

Day 174: A song you like from a TV/Netflix show

Day 175: Favorite song with a title that begins with an X

Day 176: Favorite song that features a choir of children or a child artist

Day 177: Favorite song with boastful lyrics

Day 178: A song by a band or artist you follow on social media

Day 179: A song that reminds you of a betrayal

Day 180: A song that you used to hate but now like

Day 181: A song that mentions your eye color in it

Day 182: A song that describes how you feel about people

Day 183: Add the numbers of your zip code together, then choose a song that has that number alphabetically in your music library or saved songs on Spotify/Apple Music

Day 184: Favorite song by a band whose name has a color in it

Day 185: A favorite song from a band/artist that started in the state/province/region where you were born

Day 186: A song you like by a band that starts with the word “the”

Day 187: Your fight song

Day 188: A song you like from a genre that you have mixed opinions about

Day 189: A song you like with a misspelled title 

Day 190: Favorite song by a band whose name has a number in it

Day 191: A song that reminds you of the color red

Day 192: A song that reminds you of the color orange

Day 193: A song that reminds you of the color yellow

Day 194: A song that reminds you of the color green 

Day 195: A song that reminds you of the color blue

Day 196: A song that reminds you of the color purple

Day 197: A song that reminds you of the color gray

Day 198: A song that reminds you of the color brown

Day 199: A song that reminds you of the color white

Day 200: A song that reminds you of the color black

Day 201: A song you like by a guy with long hair

Day 202: A song that makes you feel proud

Day 203: A theatrical song that you like

Day 204: A song similar to the zodiac sign Leo (cocky, showy, happy)

Day 205: A song you like that feels dreamlike

Day 206: The longest song you like

Day 207: The shortest song you like

Day 208: A song that makes you feel high class

Day 209: A song that mentions one of the fifty states in it

Day 210: The first you learned/would learn on an instrument

Day 211: A song you like by a band whose name you hate

Day 212: A song that reminds you of January

Day 213: A song that reminds you of February

Day 214: A song that reminds you of March

Day 215: A song that reminds you of April

Day 216: A song that reminds you of May

Day 217: A song that reminds you of June

Day 218: A song that reminds you of July

Day 219: A song that reminds you of August

Day 220: A song that reminds you of September

Day 221: A song that reminds you of October

Day 222: A song that reminds you of November 

Day 223: A song that reminds you of December 

Day 224: A song that reflects your wishes/hopes for the future

Day 225: A song you like with fewer than three verses

Day 226: The first song alphabetically that you like

Day 227: The last song alphabetically that you like

Day 228: A song you like by someone who’s dead

Day 229: A song from the last band/artist you’ve seen live

Day 230: A song from a different band/artist you’ve seen live

Day 231: A song you like despite the lyrics frequently going off-topic

Day 232: If a=1, b=2...z=26, add up the value of the letters in your full name. What song is at that position alphabetically on your music library/saved song on a streaming platform?

Day 233: A song with a lyric that you would get tattooed on your body (even if you don’t like tattoos)

Day 234: The first song you ever bought

Day 235: A song similar to the zodiac sign Virgo (practical, critical, analytical)

Day 236: A song that reminds you of Sunday

Day 237: A song that reminds you of Monday

Day 238: A song that reminds you of Tuesday

Day 239: A song that reminds you of Wednesday

Day 240: A song that reminds you of Thursday

Day 241: A song that reminds you of Friday

Day 242: A song that reminds you of Saturday

Day 243: A song you like that you listened to today

Day 244: A song that you would put in a horror movie if you were directing it

Day 245: A song that you would put in an action movie if you were directing it

Day 246: A song that you would put in a science fiction movie if you were directing it

Day 247: A song that you would put in a fantasy movie if you were directing it

Day 248: A song that you would put in a romance movie if you were directing it

Day 249: A song that you would put in a comedy movie if you were directing it

Day 250: A song that you would put in a western if you were directing it

Day 251: A song with your favorite music video

Day 252: A song that mentions a pet you have or would like to have

Day 253: A song you like by a band that has broken up

Day 254: A song you would use to get someone into your favorite band

Day 255: A song you would use to get someone into your favorite genre

Day 256: A song from a genre most consider outdated but you still like

Day 257: A song that makes you want to drive fast

Day 258: Favorite song named after a verb (run, jump, talk)

Day 259: Favorite song named after a noun (person, place, thing)

Day 260: Favorite song named after an adjective (pretty, ugly, sweet)

Day 261: Favorite song by a band whose name begins with the word “a”

Day 262: Favorite song where the singer tells the listener to participate (“sing it”)

Day 263: Favorite storytelling song

Day 264: A song with the best chorus

Day 265: A song you like that has screaming/shouting in it (even if it’s only for a second)

Day 266: A song that reminds you of autumn

Day 267: A song similar to the zodiac sign Libra (pretty, agreeable, intelligent)

Day 268: A song you like that’s in a mainstream genre but isn’t popular

Day 269: A song that makes you want to have sex

Day 270: A song that’s the opposite of beautiful but that you still like

Day 271: Favorite song by a band with an overly long name (Example: I Killed the Prom Queen)

Day 272: Favorite song with an overly long title (Example: A lot of Fall Out Boy’s discography)

Day 273: A song by a band/artist you would most like to meet

Day 274: Your favorite song to quote

Day 275: A song that would get you kicked out of church if you played it

Day 276: A song you would dedicate to your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/crush

Day 277: A song with lyrics based on a book

Day 278: A song with lyrics based on a movie

Day 279: Nerdiest song you like

Day 280: Favorite song from a band/artist that started in a state/province/region you would like to live in

Day 281: Favorite song from a band/artist that started in a state/province/region where you have lived

Day 282: A song that reminds you of the sky

Day 283: A song by your favorite Canadian band/artist

Day 284: A song by your favorite English band/artist

Day 285: A song by your favorite American band/artist

Day 286: A song by your favorite Western European band/artist

Day 287: A song by your favorite Eastern European band/artist

Day 288: A song by your favorite African band/artist

Day 289: A song by your favorite Asian band/artist

Day 290: A song by your favorite Middle Eastern band/artist

Day 291: A song by your favorite band/artist from the Indian subcontinent

Day 292: A song by your favorite Irish band/artist

Day 293: A song by your favorite band/artist from South America

Day 294: A song by your favorite band/artist from Central America

Day 295: A song by your favorite band/artist from the Caribbean

Day 296: A song similar to the zodiac sign Scorpio (distrusting, passionate, jealous)

Day 297: Think of a random word and pick a song you like that has that word in the title/lyrics

Day 298: Favorite song by a band with a mythical creature in their name

Day 299: Another song you wish you had a chance to use for this challenge (different from 101)

Day 300: A song that you can imagine soundtracking a war

Day 301: A song you like, but don’t listen to that often

Day 302: A song by a band whose name has an animal

Day 303: A song by a band whose name has a plant

Day 304: Favorite Halloween song

Day 305: Your favorite political song

Day 306: A song with a title beginning with the same letter as your last name

Day 307: A song you like despite disagreeing with the message

Day 308: A song with a title beginning with the same letter as your middle name

Day 309: A song with a title beginning with the same letter as your first name

Day 310: A song with the best high notes

Day 311: A song with the best low notes

Day 312: A song you like by a band with a funny name

Day 313: A song you like by a woman with boyish hair

Day 314: A song that you would slow dance to

Day 315: A song you like that has “I” as the first lyric

Day 316: A song you like that has “you” as the first lyric

Day 317: A song you like that has “we” as the first lyric

Day 318: A dark song you like that you can dance to

Day 319: An angry song you like

Day 320: A song you like by an emo band

Day 321: A song that mentions your favorite animal

Day 322: A song you would sing in an audition for The Voice/American Idol

Day 323: A metal song you like

Day 324: A punk song you like

Day 325: A song that you haven’t heard live (but would like to)

Day 326: A song similar to the zodiac sign Sagittarius (blunt, optimistic, funny)

Day 327: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter A

Day 328: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter B

Day 329: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter C

Day 330: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter D

Day 331: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter E

Day 332: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter F

Day 333: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter G

Day 334: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter H

Day 335: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter I

Day 336: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter J

Day 337: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter K

Day 338: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter L

Day 339: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter M

Day 340: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter N

Day 341: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter O

Day 342: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter P

Day 343: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter Q

Day 344: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter R

Day 345: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter S

Day 346: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter T

Day 347: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter U

Day 348: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter V

Day 349: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter W

Day 350: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter X

Day 351: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter Y

Day 352: Favourite song by a band/artist that begins with the letter Z

Day 353: A song that reminds you of a historical event

Day 354: A song that reminds you of winter

Day 355: A happy song you like

Day 356: A song similar to the zodiac sign Capricorn (ambitious, controlled, traditional)

Day 357: A song you like by a white artist

Day 358: A song you like by a black artist

Day 359: Favorite Christmas song

Day 359: A song you like by a brown artist

Day 360: A song you like by an Asian artist

Day 361: A song with the best guest appearance

Day 362: A song you like that mentions knives

Day 363: A song that has your home country in the title

Day 364: Another song you wish you had a chance to use for this challenge (different from 101 and 299)

Day 365: A song to say goodbye with

[wydmariana]

well hellooooo beautiful people !!  my name’s dani, i’m one of the admins on the main! i’m 20, i’m from toronto & i also play the hailey fc alanna !! i’m so fkn excited to have wealthy back up & running and to bring my baby mariana back ! she’s the same old girl and if you don’t know anything about her...everything u need is under the read more ! i rly need all the connections rn so like this & i’ll hit you up for plots !!!!

❛ new york’s very own mariana cavello was spotted on broadway street in  christian louboutin’s. your resemblance to selena gomez is unreal. according to tmz, you just had your twenty-third birthday bash. while living in new york, you’ve been labeled as being reticent, but also quixotic. i guess being a gemini explains that. three things that would paint a better picture of you would be fishnets, tequila shots, notebooks filled with lyrics. & ( cisfemale & she/her ) + ( dani, 20, she/her, est )

☇   ❪    ˚･ﾟ ❛ STATISTICS :

full name: mariana marisol cavello

nickname(s): mari

age: twenty three

date of birth: june 4th

hometown: new york city

current location: upper east side, new york city

ethnicity: half mexican

nationality: american

gender: cisfemale

pronouns: she/her

parents names: tanner hastings, liliana cavello

orientation: pansexual but she doesn’t like labels

religion: grew up catholic, undecided

political affiliation: democrat

occupation: singer/songwriter

living arrangements: lives in her own mansion in the upper east side

language(s) spoken: english, spanish

accent: american

face claim: selena gomez

hair colour: x (most basic/accurate/but it changes)

eye colour: brown

height: 5″5

weight: 120lbs

build: petite

tattoos: mostly selena’s canon, but x instead of the music note

piercings: x (both ears)

drugs/alcohol/sex: yes/yes/yes

pets: one cat, 5 years old, named sergio - x

astrological chart: gemini sun, cancer moon, scorpio rising

☇   ❪    ˚･ﾟ ❛  BACKSTORY/CURRENT :

mariana was born to tanner cavello (famous hotel owner, entrepreneur, multimillionaire, been on forbes, think bart bass) & lilliana cavello (hispanic model/socialite)

her parents marriage was very much settling, the two of them cared about each other & were excited to start their life together in effort to please their parents and keep their images pristine

they were quick to fall out of love though, if you could say they were even ever in it

once mariana and her brother became teenagers, their dad started having affairs with his employes, the hot, young ones of course. & their mom found out, but confided in a 16 year old mariana about her father’s actions

( sexual abuse tw ) this infuriated mariana, especially considering the hours she would spend waiting outside her father’s office doing homework while his business partners molested her in the empty conference room starting at the age of 14

she never told anyone about it, although she knew her father had known the whole time, remembering how many times he’d interrupt it by summoning his partners for work or a meeting

mariana began absolutely hating her father, while still yearning for his approval, & this went on for 4 years until she turned 18 and got revenge by sleeping with one of her dad’s business partners & allowing his wife to find out

so his wife threatened to tell the media about this little scandal, unless mari’s dad paid them off, which is exactly what he did but not before taking his anger out on mariana & blaming her for the whole mess

she has barely talked to her dad since & moved out right as that whole situation went down. she does her best to avoid family gatherings, doesn’t visit the house to see her parents too often. she does have weekly phone calls with her mom & tries to see her as often as she can, no matter how much she resents her

she got into the party scene around 17/18 as well, and became new york’s resident “wild child rich kid/socialite” in her teen years, so she has that reputation in the media still to this day

her parents have been rich as fuck since the day she was born, so she’s definitely a spoiled brat, never worked a day in her life, had daddy’s credit card whenever she needed it

music had always been a passion of hers though, being her favorite class in school(on days when she would actually attend)

so when she was 20, she started getting back into writing, sold a couple of her songs to artists like zendaya, the weeknd, etc

when she turned 21 she released her first single & album within the same year, began touring, and got to the top of the charts almost right away & gained a huge fanbase, whom she loves

she’s now 23 and has two studio albums out !! she’s v successful and happy w her music <3 she releases things very sporadically & im probs gonna  release random selena songs along with other voice claims maybe IDKDKKD hope yall dont mind  my  messy ass kskffsk

she works hard though, & loves writing and releasing music now and never wants to stop. it’s truly the thing that makes her most happy in the entire world and keeps her sane

☇   ❪    ˚･ﾟ ❛  PERSONALITY  :

mariana can be a brat, to put it simply. she thinks she’s always right about everything & it’s rare you’re ever gonna get an apology from her when she’s done something wrong (unless she really cares about you which….)

she’s lowkey a softie, bc of her cancer moon tbh. she tends to get herself into relationships and then mess them up for the sake of it or because she stops trusting herself to be in the relationship at all

but when she loves someone, she LOVES them, like w every fibre in her body u know?

and she cares fiercely about people, it ends up being a problem for her a lot of the time

she hasn’t worked through her trauma & probably never will, she bottles that shit up tight & doesn’t let anybody know it’s there. the only way she’s ever opening up is if she’s writing, cause she wants that shit to be real

but she’s still gonna hoe it up, catch her in the club trying to get some dick for the night, u know what i mean?

super depressed if we’re being real here. she’s sad, and she has abandonment issues because of her dad. so her mindset is- there’s no forming attachments, because everyone leaves me anyway

( drugs tw ) she loves cocaine, is most definitely an addict (but who isn’t in this city), tequila is her alcohol of choice, but she’ll drink anything you give her & weed is her creative saving grace

she started popping pain pills on her 21st birthday, opioids occasionally & mostly xanax, stuff like that, is most definitely also addicted to those

we love a bitch who doesn’t care about her health!

her management team frowns upon it, but she does smoke cigarettes pretty often, but mostly only when she’s stressed

mariana’s the type of bitch to call the paparazzi on herself, she loves attention. but with her music career now it’s been 10x harder for her to keep her life private, not that she cares. but at least she doesn’t have to call the paps on herself anymore lol

she thinks it’s important to treat people w kindness and respect, but no doubt she’ll be ready to fight a b*tch if she has to…

catch her at any protest that involves saying “fuck you trump”

her instagram is a big mix of stories of her cat, dumb selfies, ig model posts, her friends, career stuff & political posts. she’s very active on the gram & snapchat lol

honestly thank U for reading this trash if u didnt…i understand. catch her pinterest board for more here & i have a wanted connections page here ! ok bye i love u, plot w me <3

[thedarklordmegatron]

for the ship meme: Gladnis and Reglcar!

I’ve had a few requests for Regclar so if it’s okay with you I’ll pop that in with the ask that came in before this one! But I hope you like the Gladnis!

send me a ship and i’ll tell you

who hogs the duvet

Ignis is the King of duvet thieves! Gladio’s always run a little on the hot side ever since he was a child, his dad would often walk into his bedroom and find him sprawled on the bed, his blankets on the floor. So it doesn’t bother him too much when Ignis turns himself into a burrito in his sleep, if anything he finds it adorable.

who texts/rings to check how their day is going

Gladio is the one most likely to text Ignis. Considering his boyfriend often loses himself in his work, he usually sends a text around 1pm - asking how his day has gone, which usually reminds him to eat as well.

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts

They’re both pretty creative when it comes to gifts! They try to think ‘out of the box’ when buying something for one another, it doesn’t always happen but they give it their best. Ignis’ most ‘creative’ gift was a dance belt, he’d had enough of seeing people eyeballing Gladio’s crotch when he wore his favourite trousers - a pair of far too tight leather trousers. Gladio had worn the pants for all of two hours before going commando for the rest of the day, needless to say they live in the bottom of the drawer, never to see the light of day again.

who gets up first in the morning

Ignis is always the first one up (unless he’s ill). He doesn’t have to be up quite as early as he chooses to be, but he loves the calm of the early morning. He’ll bundle himself up in Gladio’s favourite dressing gown, pour himself a cup of coffee and stand on the small balcony attached to their apartment to watch the sunrise.

who suggests new things in bed

Their bedroom activities are agreed upon in advance. They enjoy ‘making love’ to one another, taking it slow and genuinely enjoying one another’s bodies, but every now and then they do enjoy trying something a little different every now and then. When they do decide to try something different, they’ll both come up with ideas and ‘report’ back - it’s very businesslike.

who cries at movies

Gladio has a tendency to bawl at emotional films. The best friends finally get together? He’s crying. The dog’s reunited with it’s owner? So many tears. A kid forgives his parent’s murderer? He has to leave the room.

who gives unprompted massages

Ignis is weak for Gladio’s massages. If he comes home looking a little worse for wear or more exhausted than normal, Gladio will gently ‘encourage’ him into the shower. As soon as he comes out he’s guided to their bed and turned into a boneless pile of skin. Likewise, on quiet evenings where they’re just watching the television, Gladio will grab hold of Ignis’ feet and happily massage them until his boyfriend passes out.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick

They are both as bad as each other when their partner is sick! Both men will try to play off their illnesses as a minor inconvenience, even if it’s anything but. Eventually they’ll be dragged to bed and the healthy party will act as their ‘nurse’ - it’s as annoying as it is endearing.

who gets jealous easiest

Ignis gets incredibly jealous. He knows how good looking Gladio is and he still can’t quite believe that he’s managed to catch the eye of Insomnia’s most eligible bachelor, after Noctis at least. So when someone gets a little too close to him, Ignis will hover on the sidelines and glare at the offending party until Gladio waves them away, or until they meet his eyes. Noctis had called him out on it more than once but he was hardly prepared to just let them get away with hitting on his boyfriend.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music

According to Noctis, Gladio has the worst playlists imaginable. A combination of country, kids pop and death metal - it’s so terrifyingly awful that Ignis has banned his music from the apartment when he’s home. Gladio absolutely does not know the lyrics to every song from the kids musical ‘Moogles, Moogles, oh my!’ (He absolutely does and has been to see it live three times with Iris)

who collects something unusual

Ignis has a collection of limited edition Ebony cans. From the rare ‘Cactuar’ edition to the slightly more common ‘Star of Lucis’ edition - something that’s only on sale for Noctis’ birthday and was named after his car. Gladiolus helped him create a small display case for them that they keep in their bedroom. Despite keeping it semi-hidden, Iggy is damn proud of his collection.

who takes the longest to get ready

Neither takes particularly long, even when they’re dressing themselves for a formal event. The longest either has ever taken was about 40 minutes, and that was when Gladio first had to wear his Shield robes for his swearing in.

who is the most tidy and organised

Both are pretty tidy and organised but Ignis is significantly more organised than Gladio. If given the chance, he’ll plan out his entire week down to the minute, and had in the past even made a ‘sex schedule’ to make sure they had time to themselves during a busy week.

who gets most excited about the holidays

While Ignis loves his time off, Gladio’s the one to go completely overboard. Valentines day? Ignis will come home to an apartment filled with roses and balloons, along with a naked boyfriend. Shiva’s Day? They have the biggest tree that could fit in the apartment, tasteful decorations everywhere and the most beautifully wrapped presents.

who is the big spoon/little spoon

Gladio’s the big spoon and Iggy the little!

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

They’re both absolutely bloody awful. They treat games as a life or death situation, giving no quarters, losing a game of Mario Kart is the end of the world.

who starts the most arguments

Gladio does. He’s quick to anger but just as quick to apologise or forgive. There’s nothing he hates more than arguing with a loved one, and his father had always raised him never to go to sleep without apologising for an argument - you never know if you’re going to wake up after all.

who suggests that they buy a pet

There’s not even a suggestion. Gladio just comes home one day with a three-legged kitten and announces that they now have a son. Sir Fluffernut, also known as the spawn of Ifrit, is quick to claim one of Ignis’ old jackets as his bed. He also has a habit of biting ankles, doesn’t matter whose ankles they are, if he sees them he will nom them.

what couple traditions they have

Every Monday night, so long as there are no emergencies, they sit down to watch ‘Insomnia’s best chef’. They criticise the dishes, and on a lucky night Ignis will whip up something quick to prove he’s better than any of them. Gladio still wishes he’d apply for the damn show, damn the security issues.

what tv shows they watch together

Insomnia’s Best Chef, it’s their number one favourite, followed by: ‘I Married A ….!” (The I married an Iron Giant episode was hilarious), Pimp My Pad and Doggos First Dance Class. They watch nothing but trash, so much trash.

what other couple they hang out with

They don’t really have any other couples to ‘hang out’ with in the beginning. However, shortly after Ignis’ 21st birthday, Gladio takes him out ‘on the town’ where they bump into a group of Glaives. Suddenly after one drunken night, they have multiple drinking buddies and fellow couples for double dates; chief among them Glaives Khara and Ulric.

how they spend time together as a couple

Neither are fond of doing something ‘big’, they’re much happier spending their time together doing something simple such as cooking or sharing a bath. On the odd occasion that they do have the time to do something else, they enjoy walking through Insomnia’s numerous parks and coming across coffee shops they’d yet to discover, or ones that had only recently opened.

who made the first move

Gladio made the first move. He’d been subtly flirting with Ignis for months to no avail. It was the morning after Gladio’s nineteenth birthday, when he practically flopped out of his bedroom with the mother of all hangovers, and found Ignis standing at the stove frying up some bacon. Perhaps it was the lingering effects of the alcohol or just the fact that his brain hadn’t woken up, but either way Gladio had stumbled over, wrapped his arms around Ignis’ waist and kissed his cheek.

who brings flowers home

Ignis knows of Gladio’s love of flowers, hardly surprising when it wa the Amicitia tradition to name their children after various varieties, and it just so happens that there is a quaint little florists on the same road as Noctis’ apartment. So once a week, usually a Friday night, after leaving Noctis, Ignis will swing by and collect a bouquet of Gladioli - each more colourful than the previous. Gladio has long since forgone the act of thanking him, but Ignis knows he appreciates the flowers simply by the way his eyes light up when he sees them.

who is the best cook

Ignis! Gladio once set a pot of water on fire, no one knows how and Ignis is not prepared to take the chance that he’ll burn their apartment down.

[riverdaleroundup]

Riverdale Roundup: 2x08 “House of the Devil”

Alright so here we go

Jughead has made the bar his new pops and has decided to take to writing his dramatic ass novel there. Is this like an all ages place? I know I say this a lot but jughead is 15.

Veronica and Archie are also 15 but are going at it like it’s the end of the world. Veronica honest to god bites him and it’s just so much that I can barely handle it. When Jughead was talking about Archie and Veronica creating the opposite of death in his bedroom I honestly thought that they were like hinting at a pregnancy scare type thing but like whatever. They just continue to sin all over the place and have all the sex all the time. They literally get it on infront of the fireplace on a fur rug that Daddy worked hard to pay for.

Archie proclaims his love for Veronica post fuck and she’s like ummm let’s watch some netflix? Or HBO. Honestly she’d probably settle for Cravetv if it meant that she didn’t have to have this conversation. Master of avoidance.

Jughead and Betty are chilling at Pops and discussing the Riverdale Reaper. Betty knows about the creepy truck driver so like does she know that Jughead has been running drugs? They discuss going to Sheriff Hot Bod with this information but Betty like JUST accused him of murder so they decide to give him a break from their nagging.I don’t know what it is about Jugheads jacket but he honestly looks like he got it at forever 21. Jughead gets a call from an unknown number and honestly Betty probably feels pretty triggered about it.  By the grace of god FP is getting out of jail and i’m so excited about it because honestly I adore him more than I should.

FP is getting out because of overcrowding and honestly this is so how Khloe Kardashian only have to spend like 35 minutes in jail. Praise the justice system.

Jughead and Betty are busy with his dad so they ask Archie and Veronica to head the investigation on the Riverdale Reaper and they are pissed. They have basically just been given a pile of homework and neither of them are the brains of the operation. They don’t know how to solve murders, all they know how to do is fuck.

So Cheryl and Josie are in the locker room and Cheryl is ready to roll up in all her bi curious glory and give Josie a nice back rub that in her mind will lead to them falling in love. The janitor rolls up and Cheryl is ready to have the man fired for ruining their moment.

Veronica gets home to find Sherif Keller in her house and honestly she’d probably panting. The lodges have received a threatening letter from the black hood but they aren’t that concerned about it. Veronica is a little worried because she and archie have been sinning all over town.

Mr and Mrs Lodge think that Veronica should use Archie as like a bodyguard in hopes that he’ll pull a Moose and protect her with his muscles if someone starts shooting at them.

Betty wants to borrow the family car to go pick up FP and i’m like okay did all these kids turn 16 without me noticing? I guess that Jughead did have a birthday, but they spent so much time solving murders and getting into so much hyjinx so when did they have time to get their learner's permits and their required supervised driving hours?

All the serpents are excited to have FP back and for things to get lit. Tall Boy doesn’t like change and thinks that talking to the mayor is a bad idea and that Jughead needs to stop acting like he’s the big man on campus because he’s literally been in the gang for maybe half an hour. Jughead tells Tall Boy to stop being a lil bitch and then everyone cheers. We get a quick shot of Sweet Pea and i’m like oh i forgot about you. You’re kind really hot. So like he can stay. Toni Topaz is still just hanging around and I still don’t like her. I don’t want to not like her but like come on.

Archie comes over to Veronica's and really wants to talk about his feelings but V is like” hmmm no how about be don’t and we just get busy instead?”

Archie and Veronica both seek their parents advice about the Love issue and it’s honestly a little awk.

FP walks out of jail like a true baller and i’m just so glad that he’s back. Daddys Home. Alice came with them to pick up FP and is like “ so how sexually frustrated are you?” ALICE OMG!

So FP isn’t going to be a serpent anymore? What happened to being a serpent for life? Alice knows that if FP is going to be a waiter he’s going to turn back to drinking real quick. Waiting tables will have him hitting the bottle within the hour.

Archie and Veronica keep it in their pants for long enough to start the investigation and find out that they need to go to the devil's house.

So FP and Jughead suddenly both have their own motorcycles and they go on a father son ride. I just want to say again how much I love FP. Jughead is a dumb little bitch and lies to FP about Penny. We find out that FP was in the army and i’m just like “ that’s hot”. Jugheads hair is just so intense in this scene and It needs to calm down a little bit. FP just wants Jughead to pursue his dreams of being a writer. He’s just such a good dad.

So Reggie has his Daddy offer Josie 5 thousand dollars to perform at his car dealership so that he can get a date with her and i’m like who knew Reggie had so much cash on hand. That’s hot. But I mean come on Reggie.That’s a little desperate. Play hard to get.

Cheryl starts coming for FP and Jughead is not having it. Jughead wants his Daddy to be treated like a king and won’t settle for less. FP is top shit and everyone should know it. Betty wants to throw him a party because the only things she knows how to do is throw parties and solve murders.

Betty rolls up to the bar and Toni is working there and i’m like okay that’s so fake. She can’t be a bartender she’s literally a child. Betty and Toni chat like old friends and Betty admits to wanting to be serpent adjacent which is so a sentence I would say just in my everyday life. Some old serpent bat is like Betty you have to do this serpent strip tease and she also calls her Sweet Valley High and no nick name has ever been so fitting. She is so an elizabeth I just can’t handle it, but watch out here comes dark Betty.

So they’re going to have a retirement Party for FP. So i guess you can just leave a gang whenever you want. That just doesn’t seem on brand.

Penny calls Jughead and makes him come meet her at pops for another secret chat. Jughead is like  “fuck you Penny this was a one time thing” and she’s like “ I already told you i’m blackmailing you did you forget?”. Jughead once again decides that he has the authority to speak for the whole gang and tells Penny to go fuck herself. He tries to make a dramatic exit but then Penny is like “ Um i’ll murder your girlfriend so you better do what I say.” So poor little Juggie is in a pickle.

Veronica and Archie head out ot the devil's house and she’s wearing a cape AGAIN. We find out there’s a third child who didn’t get murdered so now they gotta hunt this guy down. This is more detective work then they’ve done the whole series so they are probably very tired.

Alice storms into Pops to have a chat with FP about their children and not letting Betty get wrapped up in the serpents. Okay i’m so strongly getting the vibe that something went down with FP and Alice back in the day. Like come on “ They weren’t all mistakes”. FP is like come to the party and Alice thinks he’s high and besides her boring husband would never come. FP tells her to leave Hal at home wink wink. Like honestly shove it Hal. I’m so convinced now that they had a thing or something like. Freak. Honestly this has the potential to be so gossip girl. Jughead and Betty are about to be the new Dan and Serena with their parents having a romantic past. I could be wrong but whatever.

So they finally get the whole scooby gang together and Archie and Veronica report their findings to bughead. Betty and Jughead have a party to plan which they forgot to invite Archie and Veronica to so they have to leave the rest of the investigation to the B team.

So the janitor is the third kid and they find out that the riverdale reaper is dead so there goes that lead but I don’t think we’re done with the janitor yet.

Betty practices being sexy in the mirror and honestly it’s kind of tough to watch. Yikes what's going to happen? Oh shit she took her hair down. It’s about to get real.

Alice and Betty roll up to the bar and Alice Cooper doesn’t do anything half assed so she’s in her biker best. She’s like living her best life and getting shots but she’s got Bettys back and she’s ordered her a shirley temple.

Archie and Veronica have a talk and Archie gets all pissy that Veronica doesn't love him.

They sing Mad World and i’m like okay so is this show supposed to use songs that put me in such a depressive state that I want to swallow a hand full of sedatives, drink a bottle of wine and sink into a bath to live out the final moments of my life?

Also the sheer number of musical numbers in this show like i’m sorry i didn’t know i was watching glee.Archie and Veronica bail and Betty saves the day. Holy shit she takes off her clothes what the actual fuck you literal 15-16 year old. I’m dying. Omg stop. I can’t do this. Jughead is like not living his best life. Alice is not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. Alice wanted her to dress more like serpent but she didn’t mean like this. FP leads an awkward clap for Betty and then gives her his jacket so that she can cover up for christ sake.

FP gives this big speech and honestly kind of calls out Jughead for not always being on his side. FP is still going to be the HBIC of the serpents and I’m like “ yas. These are your people” . Jughead is like not happy about it but like he thought that FP was still going to be a serpent before so like….

Oh shit. FP knows about Penny and is staying a Serpent to protect Jughead. He is pissed that Jughead didn’t do the only thing he asked him to do. FP is here to clean up the mess. He’s doing what he has to do. What he always does. He’s just the best. That forehead kiss broke my damn heart. I love him.

Okay so like did Archie and Veronica just break up because Veronica isn’t ready to love him? Jughead doesn’t want Betty to get wrapped up in the Serpent world so he’s breaking up with her to protect her? Yikes. Why is everyone getting dumped? This is such drama.

Oh shit so now Archie is going to go after Betty because he knows that she can love him? Fuck. I can’t deal with this.

Alright now for real. Where is Smithers? There must have been a reason they had him replaced with Andre. Where is Kevin? Hanging out with his hot dad? Where is Reggie? Hanging out with his rich dad? For the love of god WHERE IS MOOSE?

[unsettlingshortstories]

How to Talk to Girls at Parties

Neil Gaiman (2007)

"Come on," said Vic. "It'll be great."

"No, it won't," I said, although I'd lost this fight hours ago, and I knew it.

"It'll be brilliant," said Vic, for the hundredth time. "Girls! Girls! Girls!" He grinned with white teeth.

We both attended an all-boys' school in south London. While it would be a lie to say that we had no experience with girls -- Vic seemed to have had many girlfriends, while I had kissed three of my sister's friends -- it would, I think, be perfectly true to say that we both chiefly spoke to, interacted with, and only truly understood, other boys. Well, I did, anyway. It's hard to speak for someone else, and I've not seen Vic for thirty years. I'm not sure that I would know what to say to him now if I did.

We were walking the backstreets that used to twine in a grimy maze behind East Croydon station -- a friend had told Vic about a party, and Vic was determined to go whether I liked it or not, and I didn't. But my parents were away that week at a conference, and I was Vic's guest at his house, so I was trailing along beside him.

"It'll be the same as it always is," I said. "After an hour you'll be off somewhere snogging the prettiest girl at the party, and I'll be in the kitchen listening to somebody's mum going on about politics or poetry or something."

"You just have to talk to them," he said. "I think it's probably that road at the end here." He gestured cheerfully, swinging the bag with the bottle in it.

"Don't you know?"

"Alison gave me directions and I wrote them on a bit of paper, but I left it on the hall table. S'okay. I can find it."

"How?" Hope welled slowly up inside me.

"We walk down the road," he said, as if speaking to an idiot child. "And we look for the party. Easy."

I looked, but saw no party: just narrow houses with rusting cars or bikes in their concreted front gardens; and the dusty glass fronts of newsagents, which smelled of alien spices and sold everything from birthday cards and secondhand comics to the kind of magazines that were so pornographic that they were sold already sealed in plastic bags. I had been there when Vic had slipped one of those magazines beneath his sweater, but the owner caught him on the pavement outside and made him give it back.

We reached the end of the road and turned into a narrow street of terraced houses. Everything looked very still and empty in the Summer's evening. "It's all right for you," I said. "They fancy you. You don't actually have to talk to them." It was true: one urchin grin from Vic and he could have his pick of the room.

"Nah. S'not like that. You've just got to talk."

The times I had kissed my sister's friends I had not spoken to them. They had been around while my sister was off doing something elsewhere, and they had drifted into my orbit, and so I had kissed them. I do not remember any talking. I did not know what to say to girls, and I told him so.

They're just girls," said Vic. "They don't come from another planet."

As we followed the curve of the road around, my hopes that the party would prove unfindable began to fade: a low pulsing noise, music muffled by walls and doors, could be heard from a house up ahead. It was eight in the evening, not that early if you aren't yet sixteen, and we weren't. Not quite.

I had parents who liked to know where I was, but I don't think Vic's parents cared that much. He was the youngest of five boys. That in itself seemed magical to me: I merely had two sisters, both younger than I was, and I felt both unique and lonely. I had wanted a brother as far back as I could remember. When I turned thirteen, I stopped wishing on falling stars or first stars, but back when I did, a brother was what I had wished for.

We went up the garden path, crazy paving leading us past a hedge and a solitary rosebush to a pebble- dashed facade. We rang the doorbell, and the door was opened by a girl. I could not have told you how old she was, which was one of the things about girls I had begun to hate: when you start out as kids you're just boys and girls, going through time at the same speed, and you're all five, or seven, or eleven, together. And then one day there's a lurch and the girls just sort of sprint off into the future ahead of you, and they know all about everything, and they have periods and breasts and makeup and God-only-knew-what-else -- for I certainly didn't. The diagrams in biology textbooks were no substitute for being, in a very real sense, young adults. And the girls of our age were.

Vic and I weren't young adults, and I was beginning to suspect that even when I started needing to shave every day, instead of once every couple of weeks, I would still be way behind.

The girl said, "Hello?"

Vic said, "We're friends of Alison's." We had met Alison, all freckles and orange hair and a wicked smile, in Hamburg, on a German exchange. The exchange organizers had sent some girls with us, from a local girls' school, to balance the sexes. The girls, our age, more or less, were raucous and funny, and had more or less adult boyfriends with cars and jobs and motorbikes and -- in the case of one girl with crooked teeth and a raccoon coat, who spoke to me about it sadly at the end of a party in Hamburg, in, of course, the kitchen -- a wife and kids.

"She isn't here," said the girl at the door. "No Alison."

"Not to worry," said Vic, with an easy grin. "I'm Vic. This is Enn." A beat, and then the girl smiled back at him. Vic had a bottle of white wine in a plastic bag, removed from his parents' kitchen cabinet. "Where should I put this, then?"

She stood out of the way, letting us enter. "There's a kitchen in the back," she said. "Put it on the table there, with the other bottles." She had golden, wavy hair, and she was very beautiful. The hall was dim in the twilight, but I could see that she was beautiful.

"What's your name, then?" said Vic.

She told him it was Stella, and he grinned his crooked white grin and told her that that had to be the prettiest name he had ever heard. Smooth bastard. And what was worse was that he said it like he meant it.

Vic headed back to drop off the wine in the kitchen, and I looked into the front room, where the music was coming from. There were people dancing in there. Stella walked in, and she started to dance, swaying to the music all alone, and I watched her.

This was during the early days of punk. On our own record players we would play the Adverts and the Jam, the Stranglers and the Clash and the Sex Pistols. At other people's parties you'd hear ELO or 10cc or even Roxy Music. Maybe some Bowie, if you were lucky. During the German exchange, the only LP that we had all been able to agree on was Neil Young's

Harvest

, and his song "Heart of Gold" had threaded through the trip like a refrain:

I crossed the ocean for a heart of gold. . . .

The music playing in that front room wasn't anything I recognized.

It sounded a bit like a German electronic pop group called Kraftwerk, and a bit like an LP I'd been given for my last birthday, of strange sounds made by the BBC Radiophonic Workshop. The music had a beat, though, and the half- dozen girls in that room were moving gently to it, although I only looked at Stella. She shone.

Vic pushed past me, into the room. He was holding a can of lager. "There's booze back in the kitchen," he told me. He wandered over to Stella and he began to talk to her. I couldn't hear what they were saying over the music, but I knew that there was no room for me in that conversation.

I didn't like beer, not back then. I went off to see if there was something I wanted to drink. On the kitchen table stood a large bottle of Coca-Cola, and I poured myself a plastic tumblerful, and I didn't dare say anything to the pair of girls who were talking in the underlit kitchen. They were animated and utterly lovely. Each of them had very black skin and glossy hair and movie star clothes, and their accents were foreign, and each of them was out of my league.

I wandered, Coke in hand.

The house was deeper than it looked, larger and more complex than the two- up two- down model I had imagined. The rooms were underlit -- I doubt there was a bulb of more than 40 watts in the building -- and each room I went into was inhabited: in my memory, inhabited only by girls. I did not go upstairs.

A girl was the only occupant of the conservatory. Her hair was so fair it was white, and long, and straight, and she sat at the glass-topped table, her hands clasped together, staring at the garden outside, and the gathering dusk. She seemed wistful.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" I asked, gesturing with my cup. She shook her head, and then followed it up with a shrug, to indicate that it was all the same to her. I sat down.

Vic walked past the conservatory door. He was talking to Stella, but he looked in at me, sitting at the table, wrapped in shyness and awkwardness, and he opened and closed his hand in a parody of a speaking mouth. Talk. Right.

"Are you from around here?" I asked the girl.

She shook her head. She wore a low-cut silvery top, and I tried not to stare at the swell of her breasts.

I said, "What's your name? I'm Enn."

"Wain's Wain," she said, or something that sounded like it. "I'm a second."

"That's uh. That's a different name."

She fixed me with huge, liquid eyes. "It indicates that my progenitor was also Wain, and that I am obliged to report back to her. I may not breed."

"Ah. Well. Bit early for that anyway, isn't it?"

She unclasped her hands, raised them above the table, spread her fingers. "You see?" The little finger on her left hand was crooked, and it bifurcated at the top, splitting into two smaller fingertips. A minor deformity. "When I was finished a decision was needed. Would I be retained, or eliminated? I was fortunate that the decision was with me. Now, I travel, while my more perfect sisters remain at home in stasis. They were firsts. I am a second.

Soon I must return to Wain, and tell her all I have seen. All my impressions of this place of yours."

"I don't actually live in Croydon," I said. "I don't come from here." I wondered if she was American. I had no idea what she was talking about.

"As you say," she agreed, "neither of us comes from here." She folded her six- fingered left hand beneath her right, as if tucking it out of sight. "I had expected it to be bigger, and cleaner, and more colorful. But still, it is a jewel."

She yawned, covered her mouth with her right hand, only for a moment, before it was back on the table again. "I grow weary of the journeying, and I wish sometimes that it would end. On a street in Rio at Carnival, I saw them on a bridge, golden and tall and insect-eyed and winged, and elated I almost ran to greet them, before I saw that they were only people in costumes. I said to Hola Colt, 'Why do they try so hard to look like us?' and Hola Colt replied, 'Because they hate themselves, all shades of pink and brown, and so small.' It is what I experience, even me, and I am not grown. It is like a world of children, or of elves." Then she smiled, and said, "It was a good thing they could not any of them see Hola Colt."

"Um," I said, "do you want to dance?"

She shook her head immediately. "It is not permitted," she said. "I can do nothing that might cause damage to property. I am Wain's."

"Would you like something to drink, then?"

"Water," she said.

I went back to the kitchen and poured myself another Coke, and filled a cup with water from the tap. From the kitchen back to the hall, and from there into the conservatory, but now it was quite empty.

I wondered if the girl had gone to the toilet, and if she might change her mind about dancing later. I walked back to the front room and stared in. The place was filling up. There were more girls dancing, and several lads I didn't know, who looked a few years older than me and Vic. The lads and the girls all kept their distance, but Vic was holding Stella's hand as they danced, and when the song ended he put an arm around her, casually, almost proprietorially, to make sure that nobody else cut in.

I wondered if the girl I had been talking to in the conservatory was now upstairs, as she did not appear to be on the ground floor.

I walked into the living room, which was across the hall from the room where the people were dancing, and I sat down on the sofa. There was a girl sitting there already. She had dark hair, cut short and spiky, and a nervous manner.

Talk, I thought. "Um, this mug of water's going spare," I told her, "if you want it?"

She nodded, and reached out her hand and took the mug, extremely carefully, as if she were unused to taking things, as if she could trust neither her vision nor her hands.

"I love being a tourist," she said, and smiled hesitantly. She had a gap between her two front teeth, and she sipped the tap water as if she were an adult sipping a fine wine. "The last tour, we went to sun, and we swam in sunfire pools with the whales. We heard their histories and we shivered in the chill of the outer places, then we swam deepward where the heat churned and comforted us.

I wanted to go back. This time, I wanted it. There was so much I had not seen. Instead we came to world. Do you like it?"

"Like what?"

She gestured vaguely to the room -- the sofa, the armchairs, the curtains, the unused gas fire.

"It's all right, I suppose."

"I told them I did not wish to visit world," she said. "My parent-teacher was unimpressed. 'You will have much to learn,' it told me. I said, 'I could learn more in sun, again. Or in the deeps. Jessa spun webs between galaxies. I want to do that.'

"But there was no reasoning with it, and I came to world. Parent-teacher engulfed me, and I was here, embodied in a decaying lump of meat hanging on a frame of calcium. As I incarnated I felt things deep inside me, fluttering and pumping and squishing. It was my first experience with pushing air through the mouth, vibrating the vocal cords on the way, and I used it to tell parent-teacher that I wished that I would die, which it acknowledged was the inevitable exit strategy from world."

There were black worry beads wrapped around her wrist, and she fiddled with them as she spoke. "But knowledge is there, in the meat," she said, "and I am resolved to learn from it."

We were sitting close at the center of the sofa now. I decided I should put an arm around her, but casually. I would extend my arm along the back of the sofa and eventually sort of creep it down, almost imperceptibly, until it was touching her. She said, "The thing with the liquid in the eyes, when the world blurs. Nobody told me, and I still do not understand. I have touched the folds of the Whisper and pulsed and flown with the tachyon swans, and I still do not understand."

She wasn't the prettiest girl there, but she seemed nice enough, and she was a girl, anyway. I let my arm slide down a little, tentatively, so that it made contact with her back, and she did not tell me to take it away.

Vic called to me then, from the doorway. He was standing with his arm around Stella, protectively, waving at me. I tried to let him know, by shaking my head, that I was onto something, but he called my name and, reluctantly, I got up from the sofa and walked over to the door. "What?"

"Er. Look. The party," said Vic, apologetically. "It's not the one I thought it was. I've been talking to Stella and I figured it out. Well, she sort of explained it to me. We're at a different party."

"Christ. Are we in trouble? Do we have to go?"

Stella shook her head. He leaned down and kissed her, gently, on the lips. "You're just happy to have me here, aren't you darlin'?"

"You know I am," she told him.

He looked from her back to me, and he smiled his white smile: roguish, lovable, a little bit Artful Dodger, a little bit wide- boy Prince Charming. "Don't worry. They're all tourists here anyway. It's a foreign exchange thing, innit? Like when we all went to Germany."

"It is?"

"Enn. You got to talk to them. And that means you got to listen to them, too. You understand?"

"I did. I already talked to a couple of them."

"You getting anywhere?"

"I was till you called me over."

"Sorry about that. Look, I just wanted to fill you in. Right?"

And he patted my arm and he walked away with Stella. Then, together, the two of them went up the stairs.

Understand me, all the girls at that party, in the twilight, were lovely; they all had perfect faces but, more important than that, they had whatever strangeness of proportion, of oddness or humanity it is that makes a beauty something more than a shop window dummy.

Stella was the most lovely of any of them, but she, of course, was Vic's, and they were going upstairs together, and that was just how things would always be.

There were several people now sitting on the sofa, talking to the gap- toothed girl. Someone told a joke, and they all laughed. I would have had to push my way in there to sit next to her again, and it didn't look like she was expecting me back, or cared that I had gone, so I wandered out into the hall. I glanced in at the dancers, and found myself wondering where the music was coming from. I couldn't see a record player or speakers.

From the hall I walked back to the kitchen.

Kitchens are good at parties. You never need an excuse to be there, and, on the good side, at this party I couldn't see any signs of someone's mum. I inspected the various bottles and cans on the kitchen table, then I poured a half an inch of Pernod into the bottom of my plastic cup, which I filled to the top with Coke. I dropped in a couple of ice cubes and took a sip, relishing the sweet-shop tang of the drink.

"What's that you're drinking?" A girl's voice.

"It's Pernod," I told her. "It tastes like aniseed balls, only it's alcoholic." I didn't say that I only tried it because I'd heard someone in the crowd ask for a Pernod on a live Velvet Underground LP.

"Can I have one?" I poured another Pernod, topped it off with Coke, passed it to her. Her hair was a coppery auburn, and it tumbled around her head in ringlets. It's not a hair style you see much now, but you saw it a lot back then.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Triolet," she said.

"Pretty name," I told her, although I wasn't sure that it was. She was pretty, though.

"It's a verse form," she said, proudly. "Like me."

"You're a poem?"

She smiled, and looked down and away, perhaps bashfully. Her profile was almost flat -- a perfect Grecian nose that came down from her forehead in a straight line. We did Antigone in the school theater the previous year. I was the messenger who brings Creon the news of Antigone's death. We wore half-masks that made us look like that. I thought of that play, looking at her face, in the kitchen, and I thought of Barry Smith's drawings of women in the Conan comics: five years later I would have thought of the Pre-Raphaelites, of Jane Morris and Lizzie Siddall. But I was only fifteen then.

"You're a poem?" I repeated.

She chewed her lower lip. "If you want. I am a poem, or I am a pattern, or a race of people whose world was swallowed by the sea."

"Isn't it hard to be three things at the same time?"

"What's your name?"

"Enn."

"So you are Enn," she said. "And you are a male. And you are a biped. Is it hard to be three things at the same time?"

"But they aren't different things. I mean, they aren't contradictory." It was a word I had read many times but never said aloud before that night, and I put the stresses in the wrong places.

Con

tradict

ory

.

She wore a thin dress made of a white, silky fabric. Her eyes were a pale green, a color that would now make me think of tinted contact lenses; but this was thirty years ago; things were different then. I remember wondering about Vic and Stella, upstairs. By now, I was sure that they were in one of the bedrooms, and I envied Vic so much it almost hurt.

Still, I was talking to this girl, even if we were talking nonsense, even if her name wasn't really Triolet (my generation had not been given hippie names: all the Rainbows and the Sunshines and the Moons, they were only six, seven, eight years old back then). She said, "We knew that it would soon be over, and so we put it all into a poem, to tell the universe who we were, and why we were here, and what we said and did and thought and dreamed and yearned for. We wrapped our dreams in words and patterned the words so that they would live forever, unforgettable. Then we sent the poem as a pattern of flux, to wait in the heart of a star, beaming out its message in pulses and bursts and fuzzes across the electromagnetic spectrum, until the time when, on worlds a thousand sun systems distant, the pattern would be decoded and read, and it would become a poem once again."

"And then what happened?"

She looked at me with her green eyes, and it was as if she stared out at me from her own Antigone half-mask; but as if her pale green eyes were just a different, deeper, part of the mask. "You cannot hear a poem without it changing you," she told me. "They heard it, and it colonized them. It inherited them and it inhabited them, its rhythms becoming part of the way that they thought; its images permanently transmuting their metaphors; its verses, its outlook, its aspirations becoming their lives. Within a generation their children would be born already knowing the poem, and, sooner rather than later, as these things go, there were no more children born. There was no need for them, not any longer. There was only a poem, which took flesh and walked and spread itself across the vastness of the known."

I edged closer to her, so I could feel my leg pressing against hers.

She seemed to welcome it: she put her hand on my arm, affectionately, and I felt a smile spreading across my face.

"There are places that we are welcomed," said Triolet, "and places where we are regarded as a noxious weed, or as a disease, something immediately to be quarantined and eliminated. But where does contagion end and art begin?"

"I don't know," I said, still smiling. I could hear the unfamiliar music as it pulsed and scattered and boomed in the front room.

She leaned into me then and -- I suppose it was a kiss. . . . I suppose. She pressed her lips to my lips, anyway, and then, satisfied, she pulled back, as if she had now marked me as her own.

"Would you like to hear it?" she asked, and I nodded, unsure what she was offering me, but certain that I needed anything she was willing to give me.

She began to whisper something in my ear. It's the strangest thing about poetry -- you can tell it's poetry, even if you don't speak the language. You can hear Homer's Greek without understanding a word, and you still know it's poetry. I've heard Polish poetry, and Inuit poetry, and I knew what it was without knowing. Her whisper was like that. I didn't know the language, but her words washed through me, perfect, and in my mind's eye I saw towers of glass and diamond; and people with eyes of the palest green; and, unstoppable, beneath every syllable, I could feel the relentless advance of the ocean.

Perhaps I kissed her properly. I don't remember. I know I wanted to.

And then Vic was shaking me violently. "Come on!" he was shouting. "Quickly. Come on!"

In my head I began to come back from a thousand miles away.

"Idiot. Come on. Just get a move on," he said, and he swore at me. There was fury in his voice.

For the first time that evening I recognized one of the songs being played in the front room. A sad saxophone wail followed by a cascade of liquid chords, a man's voice singing cut-up lyrics about the sons of the silent age. I wanted to stay and hear the song.

She said, "I am not finished. There is yet more of me."

"Sorry love," said Vic, but he wasn't smiling any longer. "There'll be another time," and he grabbed me by the elbow and he twisted and pulled, forcing me from the room. I did not resist. I knew from experience that Vic could beat the stuffing out me if he got it into his head to do so. He wouldn't do it unless he was upset or angry, but he was angry now.

Out into the front hall. As Vic pulled open the door, I looked back one last time, over my shoulder, hoping to see Triolet in the doorway to the kitchen, but she was not there. I saw Stella, though, at the top of the stairs. She was staring down at Vic, and I saw her face.

This all happened thirty years ago. I have forgotten much, and I will forget more, and in the end I will forget everything; yet, if I have any certainty of life beyond death, it is all wrapped up not in psalms or hymns, but in this one thing alone: I cannot believe that I will ever forget that moment, or forget the expression on Stella's face as she watched Vic hurrying away from her. Even in death I shall remember that.

Her clothes were in disarray, and there was makeup smudged across her face, and her eyes --

You wouldn't want to make a universe angry. I bet an angry universe would look at you with eyes like that.

We ran then, me and Vic, away from the party and the tourists and the twilight, ran as if a lightning storm was on our heels, a mad helter-skelter dash down the confusion of streets, threading through the maze, and we did not look back, and we did not stop until we could not breathe; and then we stopped and panted, unable to run any longer. We were in pain. I held on to a wall, and Vic threw up, hard and long, into the gutter.

He wiped his mouth.

"She wasn't a--" He stopped.

He shook his head.

Then he said, "You know . . . I think there's a thing. When you've gone as far as you dare. And if you go any further, you wouldn't be you anymore? You'd be the person who'd done that? The places you just can't go. . . . I think that happened to me tonight."

I thought I knew what he was saying. "Screw her, you mean?" I said.

He rammed a knuckle hard against my temple, and twisted it violently. I wondered if I was going to have to fight him -- and lose -- but after a moment he lowered his hand and moved away from me, making a low, gulping noise.

I looked at him curiously, and I realized that he was crying: his face was scarlet; snot and tears ran down his cheeks. Vic was sobbing in the street, as unselfconsciously and heartbreakingly as a little boy.

He walked away from me then, shoulders heaving, and he hurried down the road so he was in front of me and I could no longer see his face. I wondered what had occurred in that upstairs room to make him behave like that, to scare him so, and I could not even begin to guess.

The streetlights came on, one by one; Vic stumbled on ahead, while I trudged down the street behind him in the dusk, my feet treading out the measure of a poem that, try as I might, I could not properly remember and would never be able to repeat.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #322

“you will hear it when your god cries  /  you will see it when the sun dies  /  upon the altars of change”

What is your favorite nickname that you’ve had? "Bee," from my old best friend. I don't want others calling me it, though. Where did you go on the best date you’ve been on? A big arcade. It was a super fun double-date. Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No, and I don't want one. It'd be so awkward. What’s your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate. What act would you be most likely to perform in a talent show? I got nothin'. If you had braces, do you wear your retainers still? I don't. If you had braces, have your teeth moved since you got them off? Yep, because of the whole "not wearing my retainer" thing. Whose was the first baby shower you remember attending, and for what baby? I'm unsure. Possibly my sister's for her first daughter. Do you know anyone personally who’s lost a child? Many people. When was the last time you did something that felt like rebellion? So every now and again, I get a massive craving for soda at night, so I grab one from the kitchen and can hear my sleeping mother rightfully nagging me about it, haha... What is one present you got for your last birthday? Ashley got me this really cool skull bank that says "tattoo fund" on it, aha. I love it. What is one thing that you took to show and tell as a kid? I have a clear memory of bringing a Snorlax plushie one day. Do you remember losing your first tooth? Not my first, no. Are you afraid to pop a balloon? Not really, but it's kinda easy to make me jump just a lil bit when one is popped. When was the last time you laughed when you shouldn’t have? I don't know. Which was better: the first The Lion King or the second? That is fucking HARD. I adore both, but I think the original is slightly better. Do any of your grandparents have a tattoo? I'm pretty sure none of them did. Do you believe that your pets feel love towards you? My cat, definitely. As for my snake, I'm aware that snakes' brains simply aren't developed enough for love, but she clearly trusts me. Are you proud of your body? Fuck no. I'm humiliated by it every waking moment. Watermelon or cherries? I don't like either, but if I had to pick, watermelon. Favourite brand of cookies? I don't really have a favorite brand. Have you ever stuck gum under a desk/chair? No, that shit grosses me out. When shopping at a grocery store, do you return your cart or just leave it? Return your goddamn cart. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? Uhhhh. I guess places I've "done it." When you were little, did you like Dr. Suess books? I did. Do you like eating out at restaurants? Yeah; at least, before Covid. What was your least favorite year of your life so far? Fuck 2016 into the next millenium. Do you like fried bologna? I haven't had it in so long that I don't really remember the taste. I think I would. Have you spent money on a game online? Yeah, very briefly with WoW. Mom was nice enough to refresh my subscription after the breakup (Jason paid for it prior), but from then on, I was rich enough in-game to use monthly game tokens to "pay." Do you put a line through your "7"s? Yes. What about your "Z"s? Also yes. Do you like cold pizza? Yeah, yummy. Do you like broccoli and cheese? Yessss. Toaster or toaster oven? We've always used a toaster oven. What are you most known for? Being artsy, I guess. Do you have any reputations? What are they? *shrug* What was the last thing to leave you speechless? No clue. What is the curviest part of your body? Well, I'm overweight, so it's difficult to tell where I'm naturally curvy... but I guess my hips. Even when I was at a perfectly healthy weight though, I don't think I was exceptionally curvy anywhere. What is your opinion on sex change? You are entirely deserving to feel comfortable in your own body. If you’re still a virgin, how important is your virginity to you? I'm not, though I thought I was when we were together, when we were really just using a loophole. It was a denial thing BECAUSE my virginity was so important to me. If you have lost it already, do you regret it? No. Would you take a break after graduating from high school (like, postpone going to college for a year or so)? I didn't. What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? Things I said to Jason. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? Pollen. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? No. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yeah, my most recent niece I actually held. I don't THINK I held Aubree or Ryder as newborns because I was so afraid of not doing it right and hurting them. Do you know anyone who has twins? Yeah. Are you following in the career path of any family members? No. What is your favorite country in Europe? Germany. How many times have your comments been top comments on YouTube? A few times. I rarely ever comment, but if I do, it's because I feel like I really have something worth saying. Would you ever wear a wig? I'm not opposed to it. Do you like the moon or sun more? The moon. Do you like turkey or ham more? Ham. Have you ever slapped someone’s butt? Yes. Do you think dimples are ugly? I think they're cute, actually. Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other? No. Have you ever spent the night in jail? No. Do you consider yourself a good kisser? I assume I am from experiences. Do you watch Pewdiepie? Not anymore, no. His current content doesn't interest me. The most recent thing I watched was his playthrough of The Last of Us 2, because I adore the first game and definitely wanted to see him play the sequel. I think he's pretty funny and have no personal issues against him, though then again I am so uninvolved in the fandom that I have no idea if he's done something stupid again. Do you like "Despacito?" Haha, my mind went to The Dark Den's bearded dragon before the song... I'm not a fan of it, no. Did you ever color your hair pink? No, but I absolutely want to dye it pastel pink one day. :( I even edited a picture of me "testing" different hair colors out, and pastel pink looked suuuuper pretty. Do you drink energy drinks? No, they're too strong for my taste. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? I don't now how many I have, but I know it's below 100. Do you have a Steam account? Yeah. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No, but I enjoy the franchise. I'm not totally clear on all the lore, though. Do you like religion? Quite honestly, no. Do you swear in front of children? No. What is the next craft you are going to make? There's no telling. I don't really do crafts. What was your favorite Backstreet Boys song? Maybe "The Call." Favorite *N Sync song? I don't remember enough of them, at least not right now. Which of those two bands did you like best? The BSB, baby. Do you learn choreography easily? When I danced, I'd say I learned at a fairly average pace. What’s your favorite candy to receive on Halloween? Reeseeeeeee's. <3 Do you have a bobblehead? No. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Have you ever been insulted or called names by a significant other? No. I wouldn't tolerate that shit. What’s your favorite movie battle scene? Oh man, idk. Maybe something from Troy, though I honestly barely even remember the movie by now, haha. Have you ever been to a same-sex wedding? No, actually. Who takes care of your pet(s) when you’re out of town? Hypothetically, one of my sisters would come to feed and water Roman and clean his box. I'm certain I couldn't talk either into spraying Venus' cage, though... What was the last thing you wrote down on paper? Some group work during therapy. Did you have a Walkman when you were a kid? No. What’s your favorite recipe you’ve come up with? Oh dear, I don't make those. Do you like celery? Yuck, no. By what age could you swallow pills? I dunno. A normal age. Do you like to drink alot of water? I need to drink more. :/ I've gotten better, though. For years, I literally never drank water. How I even survived, idk. How many times have you gone fishing? Countless times. Ever been to a roller-skating rink? Yeah. I loved having bday parties there as a lil'un. What do you refer to your mother as? (Mom, momma, mommy) Mom, Ma, and Mama. Have you ever swam in the ocean? Yeah, multiple times. What is the last movie that made you cry? I think the remake of The Lion King. What would you like to swim in other than water? Nothing? If you could uninvent one thing what would you chose? Damn, just one? Maybe cigarettes? Have you ever read someone's diary? Absolutely not. I respect people's privacy. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No, but that'd be dope. Who has inspired you the most in your life? Probably Mark. Is there a place where everyone who lives near you tends to hang out? Idk. Teens sure do love to hang out at Sonic, though, reving their stupid fucking trucks. Does your alarm clock wake you with music, or with an annoying buzz sound? Music. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes; I was obsessed with those as a kid. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Which one are you more scared of? I feel like being alone with a tiger would scare me most. Though let's be real, I'd probably try to pet it. Have you ever changed your favorite color? From what to what? It was originally red, but then became pink when I actually understood it was its own color. Then it was maroon forever, and now it's back to pink. On a scale of 1-10, how competitive are you? Eh, 4-6? It depends on the situation, I guess. At what age did your have your most memorable birthday? My 21st, because I was in the psych hospital for it. Yes or no: Guys in skinny jeans? Yeah, man. Yes or no: Girls with dreads? Some people can pull it off. Have you ever attended a themed b-day party? What was the theme? Oh yeah, plenty. Do you have any Eminem on your iPod/MP3 player? I do. Has anybody ever given you a promise ring? No. What do you think about putting ‘spinners’ on cars? So long as they're not too distracting, I don't care. Do what you want with your car - again, so long as it is not disruptive. What celebrity do you wish would have a big comeback? I wish poor Britney Spears could catch a goddamn break and be happy again. She's a legend that doesn't deserve to feel like a puppet. Were you outdoors or indoors more as a kid? I'd say there was a pretty even split. Do you or have you ever owned a horse? No, but I LOVE horses. Have you ever had a relationship that began via text? (weird, I know, but it happens…) Most of my relationships started through a text message. Did you believe in unicorns as a small child? I don’t think so. Would you ever date a guy with longer hair than yourself? Yeah; I have short hair anyway, and I also like long hair on guys. Do you watch the show Wizards of Waverly Place? I used to love that show. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No; humidity aside though, that would be so amazing. Bats are not spooky or are they? I think they're precious. Do you like the song "Womanizer?" I sure do, actually. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really, but I'll eat it. Do you know how to change a tire? Nope. What kind of headphones do you have? Just cheap earplugs. Do you experiment a lot with new looks on yourself? No. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? Dissecting a frog was my favorite, and doing the same with an owl pellet was also very cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Guilt. I lied to get out of group therapy early because I was just NOT feeling it whatsoever that day, and I hate lying. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? Jeez, what haven't we had... We've had cats, dogs, snakes, rats, gerbils, a rabbit, hamsters, lizards, fish, guinea pigs... Hell, I'm probably forgetting one or two. Can you name three good things about your most recent ex? She's so creative, a real advocate for proper reptile education and appreciation, and very kind. Name three bands/artists that you hate. Uhhh The Talking Heads, Bob Dylan, and The Police. What’s the best memory you have of your father? Playing softball with him in the front yard, and when he taught me to ride a bike. Should tattoos be meaningful? You get a tattoo for whatever reason you damn well want. I don't plan on all of mine to be meaningful. Some stuff I just want because I think it's cool. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Have you ever been through a trap door? No. What's the most recent good news you’ve heard? Hm. Who was the last person in your family to have a baby? My older sister. When’s the last time you used the microwave? Last night. What’s the worst thing in your life right now? Financial struggles. Have you ever owned a tire swing? No. Does anyone you know own a bird that can talk? No. Have you ever been someplace tropical? Yeah, Florida. Have Jehovah'ss witnessess ever called to your door? Yep. when was the last time you went to mass/church? I have no idea. It's been many years. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? Thank heavens no.

[charlie-bee]

30 Day Catch up

15-21

15–Pop Culture

Who     is a celebrity (living or dead) that they would like to meet? Kurt Cobain

Do     they watch/go to the movies often? Yes they do!

Do     they enjoy reading books? YES

Do     they listen to the radio/top 40 music? Yes

Do     they know how to do the macarena? Yes

If     asked, would they know what a hashtag is? What the Y2K bug was? The     Cinnamon Challenge? All

Of     the following major pop culture fandoms, which would they consider     themselves the biggest fan of: Harry Potter, LoTR/The Hobbit, Star Wars,     Star Trek, Dr. Who, or Game of Thrones? Star Wards and Harry Potter

Your     character just won tickets to see their favorite band/artist (living or     dead). Who are they going to see? Nirvana

16–Relationships

Are     they currently matched/married to anyone? How long have they been     together? Yes. To Benjamin Roy. They’ve been matched for over a week but     she has been seeing him on and off since November 2017

Where     does your character think is the best place to meet someone?  At a library/book store

Is     it easy for them to become involved with someone (friendship or     otherwise)? Yes

What     qualities do they like in others? A sense of humor, wit, loyalty,     intelligence

What     in others turns them off? Selfishness

Do     they like to be romanced? Yes. Absolutely.

Do     they like nicknames or pet names/have special names for themselves or     whomever they’re with? Yep! She adores them.

Do     they get jealous easily? Do they have insecurities for themselves when it     comes to relationships? She does get jealous but tries not to show it. She’s     always worried about attaching too quickly or being pushed away.

Are     they highly protective of their significant other? Or they often protected     by their significant other? Very much so. It’s the best of both worlds.

Would     they consider themselves a romantic person? Do they try to be? She is very     romantic.

Have     they been kissed before? How old were they when they were first kissed? Yes.     Her first kiss was Adam Drieves when she was 12.

What     is their favorite intimate gesture (hugging, hand-holding, playing     footsie, cuddling, pecks on the lips, making out, foreplay, sex, etc.)?     making out, foreplay, neck kisses, cuddling, all of the above.

What     is the most special thing someone else (who is not family) has done for     your character? Her uncle reopened her father’s bar in Syracuse and named     it after her. There are pictures of her mom and dad everywhere and its     that home away from home.

17–Politics

Do     they keep up with U.S. or global politics? yes

Where     do they get their news from? CNN, Ny Times, Daily News

Do     they affiliate with any U.S. political party? She’s a democrat

Are     they prone to engaging in political debates & discussions? Not really.     She doesn’t now especially because people are cray.

Would     they ever take up any sort of political office? No.

If     election season were approaching, which of these roles would they play in     a presidential election (campaign manager, VP candidate, presidential     candidate, PR manager, speechwriter, sign/slogan maker, debate moderator,     campaign volunteer, or rally supporter)? POTUS!!!

18–Gender, sex & sexuality

Do     they ID with a certain gender (male, female, agender, genderqueer/fluid,     etc.)? Female

Do     they ID with a certain sexual orientation (gay, straight, bisexual,     asexual, etc.)? Straight

Are     they open in expressing or talking about their gender &/or sexual     orientation with others? Yes

Are     the people closest to them openly aware of their sexual orientation? I     think so

Have     they ever had sex before? yes

If     sex interests them, do they always, sometimes or never believe sex =     romance? Sometimes. Not always.

If     sex interests them, do they consider themselves sexually experienced or     inexperienced? Experienced. She knows what she is doing.

19–Favorites

Pizza     topping(s): Pepperoni

Color:     Blue

Pastime(s):     Running

Sport     to watch: Hockey

Sport     to play Soccer

Movie(s):     A Walk to Remember or Interview with a Vampire

Sweet:     Chocolate

Book(s):     Choke, Fight Club

Hero     (historical, fictional or otherwise): Batgirl

Rainy     day activity: Reading

Gift     given to them: a charm bracelet from her father/

Cuisine(s): Curry     Puffs

Music     genre(s): French Reggae, Reggae, R&B, Rap and Hip Hop, Alternative,     acoustic

Snacks:     Pretzels

Quote     or song lyric: The unexamined life is not worth living-Socrates  

TV     shows: Breaking Bad, Walking Dead

Beverages:     Iced Tea (fruited. White peach)

Ice     cream flavor: Green Tea, Chocolate

Hobby:     Collecting comics

Game:     Final Fantasy

Job     or volunteer work they have had: Volunteering at the pediatric wing

20–Travels

Do     they know how to drive? Do they have a vehicle of their own? Yes. 1990 red     Ford Mustang. It was her dad’s

What     does their car look like if they own one? https://static.cargurus.com/images/site/2010/07/15/10/49/1990_ford_mustang_2_dr_lx_5_0_convertible-pic-7315-640x480.jpeg

What     is their general mode of transportation? Train/bus/walking.

Do     they know how to roller skate? Ride a skateboard? Ride a bicycle? All of     the above.

Are     they prone to getting lost? No. They’re excellent with directions

If     they have gone on a vacation before, what was their favorite destination?     It wasn’t a vaction but she’ll have to say London. A lot of great things     happened there.

Where     is a place that they would like to vacation to? France.

Have     they ever ridden on an airplane? A train? On a boat/ship? A bus? The     subway? Yes to all.

21–Has your character ever…

Wanted     a super power? What would it be? As a comic book lover, yes and it would     be to be able to fly

Wanted     to change anything physically about themselves? No. Maybe to be a bit     taller?

Wished     they possessed or had a more prominent personality trait about them? Wished     she wouldn’t get attached so easily.

Wished     they had less of a more striking personality trait than they have?No

Been     admitted to a hospital? Yes

Done     any extreme activities (skydiving, bungee jumping, etc.)? Yes Skydiving,     bungee jumping, rock climbing.

Built     a snowman? Yep!

Burned     a basic food item (toast, pasta, etc.)? Once as a child

Held     a grudge and never resolved it? No

Gotten     into a fight in public? Yes. Especially with Ben.

Split     their pants open? No

Gotten     into any sort of legal trouble? No

Sung     or danced in public? Yes

Gone     to a (non birthday/non-wedding) party? yes

Skinny     dipped? yes