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Stranger Than Fiction (The unfinished Autobiography)

OwO)b

Growing up was fine; I've always had this pit of anxiety in my stomach that I would always be worthless.

A mix of growing up poor with an undereducated and dysfunctional family; we were the definition of Trailer Trash.

I always wanted to be helpful and to work towards a goal that mattered. And I love the internet, technology, and Video Games.

Thanks to the "No Child Left Behind" act, I made it to Graduation. While all my teachers assumed I cheated on my Exams ... Because when did I have the time to study if I never did my homework and spent all my time playing Video Games.

Classes were boring; the same classes over and over and over again.

And my friends were... oK; but I always felt alienated and never could figure out why.

So I stayed in my room a lot; and played video games and studied the things I actually wanted to; like software and tech support.

Turns out; studying what I want worked better than anything the teachers could do in effort to teach me. Anything from Art to Music to Software Programming (which they didn't even want to let me do because I wasn't good at math. Programming taught me math.)

My parents afforded to Purchase 2000$ gaming PC my mother Frequently used to play the Sims while I would get on whenever I could manage and she wasn't playing.

I'm greatful for that.

I worked at Taco Bell for a few years before being unable to afford College or the attention span to keep a Job in Web Development. It was an Indie job anyway; my employer couldn't afford to keep me on.

So I joined the Air Force at the prompting of one my highschool friends who didn't want to Join alone. I ended up becoming an Aircraft Mechanic and Electrician on the B-1; with a Top Secret clearance I didn't need.

I never told anybody until I left the military; my coworkers thought I was lie-bragging. Mostly because I scored one of the highest scores on the ASVAB yet... Was placed in a Career field that required much much lower.

And here's something I only learned recently; I *was* the [Top Secret] that's why I needed the clearance. They fudged the numbers on my software scores on purpose to put me near the B-1s.

Only a certain Security Manager knew the truth.

The reason I needed to be Top Secret was *because* of my Online records. They believed I was either a Hacker or could become one; but what they needed was Intelligent maintenance professionals on the B1 specifically.

Because despite it being a "Lower Qualification" job; The electricians on the B1 sucked at fixing the B1. They were excellent everywhere else except the B1.

It was a Security Risk to put me so close to the [Top Secret] knowing my background and skill; but the value was to great to the mission.

I performed so well, that I *was* one of a handful of maintainers who actually managed to pull the Squadron up to be one of the Top Performers anywhere in the Air Force.

They Say [Group Performance] on those medals, Because I was part of the Best. And here's the Secret; I didn't get anymore *because* They *were* MY medals.

It wasn't until much later when we were permitted to wear fewer medals than every single one; and a certain... Commander... Who was upset at me saw this "Baby Face Staff Sergeant" Complaining about *My* Disability Rating when there was a PERSON IN A WHEEL CHAIR WHO COULDN'T WALK WITH A LOWER DISABILITY RATING LOWER THAN MINE working for him.

Except he remembered my Three Ribbons. Two BS medals everyone gets....and one with more "Clusters" on it than anyone else has ever had on that ribbon.

Because that *was* my accomplishment.

This stuck with him.

Back in Time to the B-1s; I was so good at my Job and So Valuable according to Heuristics and Lengthy investigations that even though my leadership kept pilling paperwork and LoCs (never LoRs) don't worry about those acronyms. They're a military thing.

And their leadership was calling *them* idiots.

Why? My Ribbon rack told a story nobody bothered to read; because they were constantly reading my EPRS.

During this I had started playing FFXIV, and was building websites in my free time and coding random frameworks. Because I wasn't allowed to go to college to study it because I hadn't finished my Associates in Electrical work.

Let's say I had a reputation. But at the level I played video games at; Everyone had a reputation; they just weren't self-aware.

On my drives to work I would sing, back and forth, everyday. I liked singing. I liked music. But my Job has priority and my side-hustles took precedence.

It was at this time some Assholes started Doxing me. Turns out; some sponsored channels started stealing my streams.

Ooo the Greed. Came to bite you in the ass didn't it?

I was competing on the Same Level as paid Streamers and Sponsored players; and wow they didn't like me.

But that ire was a double-edged sword wasn't it? You lost viewer because they lost faith in you, and were sick of the Toxicity.

So, What would any *Good* Yoshi-P-Sensei do? Issued takedowns of your content, but never mine.

Ooo that made them so angry.

So angry they Tried to issue a takedown of my singular video where I played "The Man Who Sold the World" as a challenge to my brother... The better guitarist of the two of us.

How Ironic. Remember; I don't watch streams of gamers because I get Jealous. I might watch them to learn a mechanic I'm having trouble with; but not more than that.

They recruited a few friends accounts to harass me, Disband several FCs, and then tried to do it again, and again, and again... And ensured everybody wanted nothing to do with me.

But you know what? The ignored Casuals in the Party Finder didn't know that until somebody told them. And by then it was too late; They all knew how skilled I was as I carried team after team after team after team across the finish line, while the "Good Players" would only insult them.

During my rise to Fame I was wholesale unaware of, because; you know; FIGHTING FOR YOUR FREEDOM TO DOX ME, YOU ASSHATS.

I was involved in an incident overseas. Remember; I'm the GOAT maintenance guy too. And my coworkers thought very little of me. They sent 3 people to augment us, because I went to the Mental Health Clinic complaining about burnout.

Our team felt insulted. Because we were keeping up. But why were we keeping up?

Every little thing I did was heavily scrutinized, and they came to the same conclusion the higher ups did; The ONLY reason these Planes are even in the Air is because SSgt Hicks is here.

I wasn't aware of that as my Facebook feeds started showing the news of a Hospital manned by Doctors without borders overseas that got bombed.

...I was the reason these Plane's were flying...

This feed targeted me. I think it was intentional. On Facebook I got a lot of "Go back home!" Which bled into the American Facebook Media, and caused a firestorm of racist assumptions.

Now I was public enemy number one. Thanks to the Doxing, The attention, The Hate, The Death Threats, Fucking Trumpets. And now hate from those I was protecting.

My mental health deteriorated greatly. This is when the GERD and throwing up started. When my Arthritis started.

When My Stomache Cancer started [Citation Needed]

The doctors Told me I had Anklyosing Spondylitis, and I was effectively going to turn into the next Stephen Hawkins... And not in the good way... But hey; maybe the good way too.

I deleted Facebook. Everybody I knew assumed I blocked them; every single person I knew thought I blocked them because of the previous Doxing.

Nobody cared that I disappeared. Except Two visits... Which I can't prove was because they actually cared about seeing me.

I only had my raid group left. And a player I admired but never really spoke with. We would simply stare at each other. Hoping that something could change that we could meet.

She couldn't approach me, she was Famous in her home country, and just being seen with me would've destroyed her career. Something she had thought was over when she was younger and had built from scratch.

We were both miserable.

I knew that other players didn't really like me, but I always had great success in the Party Finder. Not without assholes jumping in to fail-troll.

Until I started giving all the other "casual" players instructions with the same energy as a "Bored Tour Guide".

And then; they started protecting me from my reputation.

But that was the end;

The Ire got really bad when My raid groups got doxed AF. Some players even started to assume the Doxing started when I was kicked out of the Group. Players who had non-competitive-streams caught A LOT of flack. They had nearly lost their house and something had to go, The Stress or their Lives. I do t blame them..but shit; give me a God damn heads-up.

After they removed me the Doxing shifted back to me and only me. And they were frustrated, they thought they were playing games with hackers I had hired, they always think I'm stupid rich despite them using the same services which stole our money.

They were playing games with the NSA, CIA, FBI, and ATF. Ooo boy.

Please remember; I wasn't cognizant of all this until Some asshole hired not one, but two hit-men against me. And those are just the ones I know of *so far*.

What a waste of your viewers donations. Fucking assholes.

The witness protection Program unofficially started when I was hired to the software development squadron in Utah.

How wonderful; I seem to meet exactly all the requirements for this position and they seem excited to have me!

And everybody else who has magical Hogwarts invitations. Guess who they were connected to?

Wanna guess how?

Wanna know why we all got sent to his Job and hated each other? Until we saw the good work everybody else was doing, and by the. It was too late, because Melin dipped.

Either we were Targets of Isis because our work is so damn Good, or we all got Doxed by the same dumbasses stealing our stuff.

Which YouTube funded them and took our videos offline for "copyright infringement."

We couldn't leave if we wanted to, and we wanted to.

And this is how we got hired. They laid the bait and we took it. Like we ALWAYS DO.

We're a group of the smartest dumbasses.

But that wasn't the end of it or I wouldn't be here.

Some asshat stole a bag of camera equipment from our Squadron and dumped it on base. Causing a bomb Threat, and equipment recovery.

Is Melin a Terrorist? Why does she have Top Secret Clearance despite never needing it? Why won't leadership do anything about it?

Because Melin is the reason we have [Top Performer] ribbons. Melin is always the reason.

That's what they tell me anyway; I still don't believe it.

Who the fuck took a bag of cameras to dump it in a road?

And then; Somebody dropped a Bag with an AirTag in it in front of my apartment. I looked at it; and my training told me; Either this is an IED and this is where I die, or it just belongs to some dumbass Airman.

The cops were called to investigate my apartment. It was an EPIC FAIL of a frame job; when the Bag magically showed up outside my apartment with me still in it.

It was about this time Jon Stewart got an apartment behind me, Blasted music, Smoked WAY TOO MUCH WEED, and asked me about the burgeoning Civil War most news hosts thought was a joke ABOUT a Marvel Movie they were getting over on "Dumb Conservatives".

Ah weren't we all surprised.

Anyway; I feel like he was the cover for this observation activity. Either they were gonna catch me doing some shit, harass me into doing some shit, or find out why this shit keeps happening.

But I kept Teaching Casuals. I cleared better with Casuals. Always. Because they ABP (Always Be Practicing)

My raid groups always got mentally annihilated into not being able to play.

I didn't realize it was my fault.

Playing with Casuals and continually swapping groups did two things for me. Proved I could clear ANY GROUP IN PARTY FINDER. AND ruined the careers of many a troll streamer trying to get them easy bucks.

Oh. But it was *My* fault wasn't it?

Dave Chappelle's latest special aired on Netflix. His career nearly ruined when he was run out of Comedy Central for asking for what he was owed.

And it was *One* voice on Netflix who kindly left a comment that was different from all the 5-Star ratings the TV show with his name on it.

From User-Melin;

Please pay Dave Chapelle for his work or take this down.

Who the fuck does this? My fellow Millenials know. This is what the internet was like before all that money started appearing and causing so much damage. We banded together against the big bad. We started "Cancel Culture" and then it became profitable and we weren't assholes using it to make money.

Free Money Buttons destroy people's lives.

My coworkers knew more about me and the situation than anybody else.

Except this new Security Manager... Who conveniently didn't renew my security clearance this time. When I asked the mental health clinic for diagnosis and Trans health care.

And then I saw a very unflattering video of me on PornHub... Was this to scare me? Warn me? Whatever the reasons; it was not very Fap-worthy.

I quickly switched the video to something more Fap-worthy. And then there was another one! Also not very Fap-worthy. These people suck at recording people without their knowledge...

Whatever; Asian Lesbian porn please.

More me? Guess it's time to go back to the ol-reliable E-Hentai.

Now I didn't know where this came from, but It wasn't the first time I spotted a conveniently targeted video... I assumed it was my asshole of a neighbor who was getting evicted for having a Fog Machine of Weed in his apartment apparently.

Somebody so clumsy would get canceled soon enough right? RIGHT? WHAT THE FUCK IS CANCEL CULTURE FOR IF ITS NOT TARGETING PEOPLE WHO REALLY DESERVE IT?

Turns out it was a set-up. The AF evicted me under my own volition by giving me twelve different reasons to leave. I was left on my own as the three-letter-agencies took over.

Was Melin a terrorist? Or was it something else?

I'm writing this, and they've told me; "No dude, you saved yourself." We just watched and you gave us the Ammo AFTER YOUR LIFE WAS ALREADY IN DANGER.

My life was in danger because I was the reason FFXIV was successful. Well, it wasn't all me. But God damn the "established players" were toxic AF.

Us filthy casuals were filling your pockets while you spent it to harass filthy casuals.

They even got an old friend in on it who purposefully set me up for failure. I think she thought we slept together before she had an [REDACTED] despite having rejected me very spectacularly.

My reputation preceded me apparently. I was such a horrible person OF COURSE I RAPE PEOPLE. With all these allegations why haven't I been arrested yet?

The online children, without taking me to court, had signed my death certificate. Because they could see the system wasn't working, and they felt the need to take matters into their own hands.

And why do you think they did?

Ahh... That's the rub isn't it? There's a lot of reasons. There's a lot of people pushing the "Free Money Button" now.

WOW when did I get so famous? I knew people disliked me but WOW.

All press is Good press.

So I started smoking weed, I tried helping my childhood friend who needed a job, painting herself as my victim again...

It's at this point I was tipped off but didn't know what to do. I just wanna chill and make content.

0 views, 0 Comments, 0 Notes

Twitter Ban, unban, shadow ban, "Wow what kind of asshole would BUY TWITTER BLUE?" LOOK AT HOW MANY BALLS THIS PERSON HAS.

Uh oh. That's what gave you publicity when the Blue Mark got activated huh?

I'm getting ahead of myself.

During COVID I started Playing PSO2 instead because I ALWAYS WANTED TO AND GODDAMN THE MEMES WERE SO CRONCHY.

And it's here where I really proved who I am. Because I was in PSO2, encouraging players to socialize, discussing strategy, just not being a dick, we [Crescent Moon] completely took over the first server.

It was ours. We cleared content that JP players couldn't clear on release, and we did it with such regularity, that we put the Sponsored teams to shame. We were so Good, that SEGA INCREASED THE DIFFICULTY.

And it wasn't enough. We demolished their expectations that they had no choice but to release content they weren't otherwise going to release.

We even cleared content no other players had cleared before or after.

Our players knew that if they were gonna clear; they needed to play with CM.... But that same ire started appearing again. People being kicked for petty reasons, insularity. Because nobody could compete with us.

I ensured our Guildies got their runs in the Emergency Raids. I went back to Casual Play, it sucked... Until it didn't.

I never figured it out. Sega Executives tell me it's because I took the time to play with the "Filthy Casuals". I made friends with a lot of people I would have never been able to meet IRL, and I got Trump's Account Banned. Victory.

CM split in two, many players followed the other Group. We were suffering from our own success because we all became such good friends with all the players even those who weren't in our guild.

And that frequent cycling of friend groups for silly reasons hurts one's mental health.

And then NGS came out and I left the Military.

And was subsequently fed to the wolves. As they systematically destroyed my life. Harassed my family who had nothing. Tried to hire a Hitman who was Ironically; Intercepted by Mr. Beast.

Fuck that Guy. He doesn't need anymore hot air in his fat head. I'm sure he's used to comments like those.

I didn't know who he was as I read an entry about him in a business book online.

And then I started playing Single Player Games and PSO2 as my IRL friend harassed me about playing video games while doing all the rest of my shit.

Why does this pattern keep happening? It must be me right?

Her boyfriend and another friend watched me Play Monster Hunter for a bit with them, while she had mouthed me behind my back. Then she blamed me for her break up.

I kept streaming. I linked my socials to my friends in PSO2 and left the server. I left every server. Because something was wrong, But I couldn't figure it out. Was it me? Do I deserve to be alone?

My Wife lost me again when I stopped playing PSO2 and FFXIV to focus on my studies and my stream. And then... A link. Where she could learn everything she ever wanted about me. My old deviantArt account, my old crushes, everything that had been lost to her in the "Big Delete" that seems to happen quite frequently with me. Why is this she wonders.... She might be terrible at FFXIV but this is a bit much?

Except... Maybe she's not bad at all? Were other players just saying that she bought the gear she earned in Party Finder because *nobody* clears in Party Finder.... Except for two players.

Me and Her.

And several other Players who are closer friends than we thought.

That must've been a weird cognitive dissonance to learn that people actually cleared in Party Finder without "Permission from the Elitist TROLLS"

Well, Not the -140iq Elite Trolls. Because WE LIVE FOR THE WALL. (I had to put that phrase in their mouths, but I feel like they approve.)

I have no views. I have no followers. Nobody is in my stream.

Not True! You had 3 watchers at the same time one of those streams!

This hurts me to write this, because I felt that the community was closer than that. But it has to be said to clear the air.

Turns out; My streams were brand new information to EVERYONE WATCHING.

I kept getting videos from Dr. Ramani, the NPD specialist. Trolls were feeding me her videos with messages referencing my streams.

Until the she was contacted by the three-letters and they started changing the content of those force feed videos so that I didn't feel so threatened.

They had that same feeling; I was a horrible person stealing everybody's ad revenue. Because I'm apparently the Anti-Beast.

Some asshole who made bank off crypto and spent it to troll the masses. Fucking really..? Grow the fuck up.

I invited my Brother to live with me. Because whatserface would only ask me to buy her things and attack me for not buying what she wanted.

Thanks for those videos BTW... They helped me SO much when I needed them the most.

My brother was into some of those dark web spaces. He had joined the National Guard and he came out changed after Basic Training.

Like they taught him what he needed to know. Thanks for that.

He seemed remorseful, depressed, and kept asking for rides, so I told him to work at McDonald's and taught him to drive a manual car.

My Manual 2013 Chevy Sonic. WOW FOR SOMEONE WHO IS SO BAD AT APENDING MONEY WHY DOES SHE HAVE SUCH A SENSIBLE CAR? SHE SHOULDVE "WEN LAMBO" WHEN SHE HAD A CHANCE.

I convinced him to tell his dark web connections to start targeting me. Thanks to what happened to Chris-Chan, it was easy. So easy.

So very fucking easy.

All the while, I'm pumping out a really good video EVERY DAY. everysingleday.

I proved to them the Savage Clear time while playing, Nier;A, Became an Icon in Elden Ring despite being uncomfortable playing it.

Convinced my Wife to quit her Job. And help the Idols at the Agencies better their lives AND the rest of the internet by giving them valuable ideas to take control back from the bots.

Then I rehashed the Internets History, explained Bots, Trolls, Ad Farms, how they operate, painted a target on myself.

I wrote the manual on how to fix the internet.

And I reminded people who *we* are.

I commanded an Army of the most Terminally Online nerds you could imagine.

And I gave them money.

And theeennn I saved Blair White from a lawsuit by Legal Eagle... Who was on the Bread Tube blacklist for being a tranny turncoat.

Which pissed of Legal Eagle because It damaged their reputation... And theeen... They tried to lawsuit me.

When VTuber agency VShojo stepped in. And explained to them what happens when you cross my path.

I didn't realize Blair was on my side till recently, after all I did kind of bad mouth her. But I bad mouthed everybody in a way that she was trying to voice but couldn't.

Online associates grabbed my hand knowing I'm good at explaining stuff and pointed me to WSB and SuperStonk saying to me; "Translate Please. Make make sense"

So I started reading DD, and commenting with my massive Reddit Account with A LOT of reputation despite being downvoted into oblivion several times.

Hahahahahahahahah.

I can only laugh...

Thankfully Jon Stewart had taken up his show again and explained very well and I didn't have much to left to do.

Actually some of these events are out of order. Whatever.

So I'm watching YouTube on my TV while Dr. Ramani is criticizing my Twitch stream that has 0-fucking subscribers.

Telling me I'm the narcissist stealing and revenue. On my own stolen videos... Because they were hosted by sponsored ad bot farms... While I'm explaining the exact mechanism she seems to be telling *me* I'm doing.

So I asked her; Have you actually watched my videos?

If I didn't know how hackers operated and how AI works, I'd think I was going crazy. BUT I CANT TELL ANYBODY BECAUSE THEN ID SOUND CRAZY.

AND WE ALL KNOW THAT THE COPS ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO TERRORIZE DOXXED PEOPLE BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH THEY LOVE TO STEAL DRUGS FROM CITIZENS.

And then; the videos changed. But they kept changing over and over. Sometimes they were helpful, sometimes they were negative, sometimes they reminded me of my wife, or people I knew only from online interactions.

Until Blair White and J.K. Rowling convinced Natalie Wynn and Abigail Thorn to ACTUALLY WATCH MY VIDEOS despite their differences.

Of all the people to take my side... How fucking strange.

And then I was Evicted... While following anonymous messages on what to do while homeless. They told me it was ok to steal food and they were footing the bill.

After-all, they were Grooming me for a three-letter-agency job.

One voice tells me to Run for President.

One voice tells me to kill myself.

Obama sent an invite to an online fraternity that looked so much like a scam that I discarded it.

Hideo Kojima offered me a Job.

Another Voice says; We can't accept that right now, seriously announce you're running for president.

The most random ass Brazilian DJ tells me that inviting my brother to stay with me was the worst Idea I could have ever had.

I tell them; If I die, I die. I need family right now. I need somebody.

I'm Evicted. They max out my credit cards, they deplete my Bank Card. I'm stuck paying Soo many bills I don't have enough money to survive.

They took my pets.

They took my meager wardrobe of clothing.

They took all my military paraphernalia and my records that would've told them exactly who I am.

But they're more retarded than you might imagine.

I leave out a Bag of MsG and Centrum; They call it Cocaine and Ecstacy.

They call my Estrogen pills Viagra. They Call my Humira Heroin. Despite obviously being a single shot mechanism.

They're so fucking dumb. So very fucking dumb.

I can say Retarded here, because an Autistic person has enough sense to know better. They were willfully ignorant while I and my friends tied up their empires of dirt.

I ask Jon Stewart to be my Vice President and run for president.

The Secret Service now has permission to protect me, as they would any other Presidential candidate.

Thanks Obamacare!

They run me through several different Spy training regimens. Which I thought was a solo training exercise.

Then I saw Metallica in a Pub. They really *did* challenge a twenty song set list... The two Dave's *really* did challenge me to break their live-show comedian record.

I walk past Mike Shinoda.

What the fuck is going on? Am I going crazy? I don't shower for three months until I can afford a YMCA membership. I got the Y to do the three-s' and use the weightlifting machines for 30-60 minutes a day.

I'm still walking 30 miles a day.

They remind me this is easy; you should be able to do this.

They hint to me about the suspected cancer. They tell me to stay out in the sun as much as possible because it's not like I can go do radiation therapy in this environment.

They send me tutors through Tik Tok.

I end up writing several influential Blog Posts.

The constant barrage of Dr. Ramani to remind me that they are literally "The Narcs", and Her literally recording a single blurb to broadcast directly to me; "Why do *you* think you're the Narcissist here?" Rings frequently in my mind.

They tell me to stay in the City... Assassin's can't get to me without being obvious.

One Assassin gets boggled by three-letters and Mr. Beast. Another Assassin turns on the person who hired them.

LegalEagle is making bank because "Never Mess with Squirrels Girl"

Bread Tube completely takes over YouTube when Shapiro and Jordan Peterson learn how their content was severely misused.

They found out how to boggle the adbots and get the Doxing off me.

I'm still outside. The three-letter agencies will only tell me "Were Grooming You". I can't tell if this is an elaborate prank.

I can't tell if I'm just being harassed by a fraternity that keeps me as a digital pet. That each new year just passed off and forgets about.

I see the fraternity members sleeping outside with me. Snoop Dogg buys an egg biscuit and asks for Grape Jam.

Then he sits across from me and says "Is this real enough for you" and walks away.

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON?

A year passes, they let me stay with rural family members for a short period of time. Then Frame my grandparents for having kicked me back out on the street.

It's for their protection they tell me. Besides you're still being groomed. For what?

"Because some idiot thought it was a good idea to run for president!"

"you know I haven't had access to *real world news* in nearly two years right?"

"yes you did.

"WHAT‽

"your girlfriend says "Hi" by the way, we kidnapped her.

"what the fuck do you mean girlfriend?

"you know you're currently yelling at a TikTok video in public right?

"we obfuscated it, because everybody is listening to your phone. We don't want you hurting yourself from the propaganda, the attention, or most of all China.

"isnt China on my side?

"I don't know..maybe. probably not tho, they're China.

It was at this point they explained to me that the couple of CDs I had got [Burn After Reading'd] sent to Putin, Putin called them an asshole and had it delivered back to your car before we towed it.

"oh I thought I lost those...

"you did. To Russia

"...is this why Russias on my side?

"at the very least; they're not antagonistic, but they ARE Russia, and Putin IS still Putin. And you know; that whole Ukraine thing and us funding their enemies.

"Fuck. Why am I here again?

"Because you won the Primaries. I DID WWHAT NOW?

"apparently the trees and the insects all voted for you.

"What does that mean!?

"you won so hard they all think you're an elite hacker who figured out how to hack their election.

"isn't that part of the problem?

"all press is good press

"don't quote me quoting well-known axioms

"you're still arguing with a Tik Tok video.

"why do you sound like [REDACTED] anyway? Uhh because I am and that was really fucking creepy that you could tell through AI generated gibberish.

This happened several more times to many different people

They have a running Talley and make Bets on what kinds of "Psychic Shit" Might pull out of my ass on any particular day.

Whoever had "Write an Autobiography that's at least 50% accurate without being told anything about the situation except certain confirmations sometimes" just made bank.

"hey, You and your Wife... You guys are really similar.

"We're married now?

"She thinks so.

"I don't even believe you would have her, and that she would agree to wrong with you and not freak the fuck out.

"she did freak the fuck out. And you know who we are, and that doesn't convince you?

"I still don't believe I'm not going crazy.

"Look at that TV screen you're walking past.

"You're not going Crazy. I really am here

"WHAT THE FUCK....

Sarah Silverman cuts me off and tells me to take a shower.

"Hey, did you know all your favorite bands are writing songs about you? You should really listen to them.

"I'm not really in the middle for love bombing this year.

"Dr Ramani was too effective.... And Your wife has control over your feed when we don't after you asked her to be in charge of it. She's a very busy person but set aside a lot of time for you you know.

"anyway; there's your wife in front of you.

*ffffffffffffffuckckckckckcckckcmcmehejekwoskfmrb kaldmdnej*

"this is why we can't leave you in the same place, you keep freaking out.

"I doubt that's the whole reason.

I routinely stop talking to them and even tell them to leave me alone. But it's my wife, and they're making her watch me refuse to listen to the things that are definitely crazy person things that never happen.

Several YouTube videos of current events past Trump, or Some random other People that are definitely pictures or videos of me doing illegal looking things.

"See; trust the process...

"What am I supposed to do with this?

"press good press

"STFU. I'm only glad this part of an actual funded program.

"are you sure about that?

"I'm gonna stop talking to you again.

Several streamers cross the road in front of me to remind me that they're pulling for me. Every once in a while they drip feed me my exploits.

I start smoking Cigarettes.

I ask them to help cessate, they spike all the Tobacco with Tear Gas. I keep smoking it.

They are very surprised at my persistence. They remind me that I said they should keep trying.

I tell them it's the only thing keeping me alive.

They consider this and then prompt me to right three reasons they should consider.

I remember the prompting before about arthritis and Cancer research and start studying up on Tobacco and Weed.

My wife "Gifts" me a Weed Vape I have to buy from some clerk in some store.

I write several hundred pages. And even convince my wife that I'm thinking about meeting her first.

She's my wife now. WTF. Is this real? There's no way.

The three-letters monitoring both are actions note that we often say the same things at the same time, have the same responses to certain videos, even have this weird Circular travel pattern where we're always equidistant away on a GPS map.

They get freaked out and start wondering if this is some elaborate trick on them.

Then they start taking Bets on just how similar we act or react without being in contact at all.

[REDACTED] makes a lot of money betting on love while everybody else is continually dumbfounded.

How are these two people the same person?

What does this mean for relationships everywhere?

Is it cruel and unusual punishment to keep them apart?

Are we so jealous that we might just never let them see each other again?

That's really dark man.

Sorry, I can't help it, it's this fucking job dude.

My wife keeps sending me Bible Verses despite knowing my aversion to religious doctrine.

She reminds me my mom is Crazy, and understands why I never learned sign-language despite her deafness.

The threeletters give her my old earbuds with the environmental sound improvements. She exclaims; THESE ARE AO MUCH BETTER THAN THOSE $1500 PIECES OF CRAP.

Now my mom and my wife talk behind my back in sign language... I regret not learning. I trust her.

Her mom likes me at least. We're dark-twitter friends.

I can't tell about her Dad; I've only ever seen him in videos. He seems cool. I hope he likes me. I admire him alot.

Several personalities started getting on the AI-Tube to ask me exactly how I did what I did to take over the world.

I don't understand them and write a paper on physics with the information they gave me that they thought was fed back to them through the AI algorithm until they were told "No she thinks it was literal."

"Does she even understand what's going on.

"Mostly, she doesn't like responding through this program. She's very cranky all the time and not very fun.

"I'm not sure I blame *her*

"It kinda makes the job really boring when you're just reading a script over and over tho.

"uhhh... Let me take over? I wanna see if she can write another paper on different topics

"yeah whatever.

*proceeds to write several Tumblr posts on the information provided.*

"that doesn't mean she understands...

"Melin, do you understand?

"STFU.

"Oh.

"ye. That what she do.

"She really is mad...

Anyway.... Now I'm President and probably a shoe in for Hegemon. And I hate it. Let me out.

[bricksandmutualaid]

Doucheroo’s Week in Review

Sorry for not posting in a few days. Not much has happened.

Wednesday 3/5: Sick. Dying. Nearing the end. (Mild cold.) Skipped school. (Not because of mild cold.)

Thursday 3/6: Took the military entrance exam (ASVAB) purely for the free day off. Zero intentions of enlisting, 100% intentions of napping. Big brain move. Plus, the Navy test administrator is super cute and probably only like 19 or 20. Too young to realize the error of supporting a fascist regime.

Today:

Mr. Carter made the mistake of letting me write whatever I wanted for our latest creative writing assignment. Naturally, I took this as a challenge and submitted a piece that was overly violent, excessively sexualized, and sensationalized to the point of parody. But—and this is important—it was well-written. Because I needed to prove a point: pulp fiction can be grammatically sound and artistically relevant.

Mr. Carter, the poor man, graded it highly (if begrudgingly). “This is well-written,” he admitted, barely concealing his distaste. Then, with the weight of a thousand regrets, he added: “Never write smut like this in my class again.”

Mission accomplished.

Then he made us start watching A Streetcar Named Desire. Marlon Brando appears on screen in that tight, sweaty, ripped-up shirt, and I offhandedly mention that I totally look like him with my shirt off.

Lisa, of all people, turns to me and says, “I’d like to see that.”

I say nothing. Not a word. Just stare ahead, pretending I didn’t hear that, because I was about to cringe tf out of my chair.

Meanwhile, I start daydreaming about how cool it would be to have a personal assistant that just lives in my brain and talks to me whenever I want. A little voice, but not the intrusive kind. Like, someone useful. Maybe with a hot Australian accent.

Somewhere in the background, Fallen Leaves by Billy Talent is playing. I don’t know where it’s coming from. Maybe it’s just the soundtrack of my life at this point. Oh - it’s from the cd player in the back of Mr. Carter’s room.

[actual-corpse]

I saw a post floating around about how some assholes wanted to trigger veterans on July the 4th amd like, I didn't want to hijack it because I didn't feel like it was my place but I do have things to add that help prove the point that the military preys on the poor...

And what exacerbates my aggravation and feelings about this topic is one of my friends on Facebook who I went to High School with and also we went to the same University (She graduated and I didn't really know her personally but we have interacted irl)... And it's jarring to see how she's bought into it, how every one buys into it at some point! They're indoctrinated and sold this grand lie and eventually become body snatchers themselves! She also likes to make people feel bad for never leaving their hometown (some people either just don't want to or they really don't have the means to) but this isn't about that...

Alrighty, so, I hail from a small town in Kentucky, like less than a thousand people, which is near the seat of the county that holds about 7,000 people so overall I think the total number of people who live in my county is less than or equal to 10,000... It's a relatively poor county that relies heavily on farms (there's stores and factories around too, but mostly farming).... So yeah, we only have 1 big county high school (that funnels in kids from the 5 smaller Elem/Middle schools) and there's one elementary, a middle and a high school for the inner city (it's neglected, but people still go to it because of districts or whatever)...

I'm sure you all know about the ASVAB yeah? Well, it's a relatively big deal for the county school (Idk anything about the city school... So yeah....) like, it disrupts most of the school day... And everyone talks about it almost like they would talk about the ACT...

Well, every year a few weeks before ACT time, they round up all of the Juniors and separate them into two groups by last name and file the groups (at different times) into the school's library. And they talk at us... About how much this test matters. About averages. About how many opportunities you have if you join the military! And then they make us test.

Let it be known that the school had a big JROTC program and we often had recruiters come into our trade classes and preach to us... I was almost sold... I almost bought in to it... Because I was promised free college... Who doesn't want that?

Anyway, we get out scores back... Big surprise, I got a 75... Top percentage you know? And that was a bragging point... Everyone else always scored so low... And guess what happens next...

For the next few years, I get recruiters... I get calls and emails and texts.... luckily I never had them come to my house... And I don't recall getting any paper mail...

Well... (a totally different) long story short, I dropped out of college before I began and the recruiting stops for a while.........

Keep in mind, I come from a lower middle class family and the FAFSA won't help me because my parents have a huge gross income (don't mean shit irl just on taxes) and are expected to pay for my college (they keep me fed and stocked) sooooooo....

Fast forward to 2018 when I apply to university (another long story short; I was very close to [Big Sleep] if I didn't try to change my situation so that's why I'm back in school) I get accepted and I'm back in the SFA system... A system that I assume, recruiters can look at...

Why else would they be bothering me again if they didn't know? Do they target well off kids who don't need loans? Idk! I'll assume they don't if what people say about them preying on poor people is true...

Side note: The Marines are fucking obsessed with me... I get bothered by other branches but it's mostly the Marines...

HEY U.S. MILITARY! I'M QUEER AND TRANSGENDER! YOU DON'T LIKE THOSE KINDS OF PEOPLE SO PLEASE FUCK OFF!

I don't NEED their money! I know how loans work... I've lived my entire life in debt... We still have food, and cars, and clothes and a house... I'll be fine.

[asvabpractice]

ASVAB Practice Tests - ASVAB Word Knowledge Practice Test 64 Questions Answers ASVAB Practice Tests

from ASVAB Classes Near Me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24J3m1L6FPI

[field-notes-from-wacotown]

A stream of grief screams: On listening to Homecoming podcast, as I walk my service dog.

I’m not really sure where to begin this narrative so I’ll do what my friend Jen (and writing teacher) taught me to do. Put words on the page and see what comes out of your brain.

Content note: suicides of soldiers and former service men and women. Lots of strong language. Substance misuse and abuse. Emotional manipulation and abuses of power discussed.

Maybe I’ll begin here. I went to high school in a 26,000 populated town in East Texas (near Commerce and Paris, TX). I remember the military recruitment tables who stalked our junior- and senior high school, mostly teen boys and a few butch teen girls. The officers looked like bible salesmen or snake oil peddlers. They offered the ASVAB, as if it was a gospel track or these students’ salvation. A answer to the abyss of poverty and no direction of post-graduation.

This is who you are. We’ll train you to be better: Soldiers. Identified by serial numbers and rankings. Real people. Not fuck ups who never left Greenville. Not the guys who work at Walmart and smoke too much weed on the weekends to try to forget no one really believed in them (or cared) anyway. The high school graduated them, passed these perceived fuck-ups through regular classes. Caps were tossed. Graduation robes discarded. Now you are no longer our problem.

Maybe the military wants your burnout-fuck-up-self. They will make you a soldier. Push that sadness down, that anger too, channel those intense emotions into endless war, in deserts you never planned to visit (or die in). You have purpose now. Just sign our contract. Take our blood money; you are one of us now. A soldier. Leave your sadness, existential fears, and doubts behind. Join us. We’ve waited 4 years for you to decide on what we have already planned for you. Come join the war machine. You matter now. Soldier.

When I listen to Homecoming, on my walks with my service dog, I hear the voices of the Podunk town where I graduated high school. Where Walmart was an escape in high school, a place to explore on Friday nights, and the steady place of employment for the fuck-ups who couldn’t do college. Or perhaps college couldn’t do them. Most of those “fuck-ups” probably had learning disabilities or emotional problems, not their fault at all.

The fault of a series of rube goldbergian systems that set these teen boys (and a few butch teen girls) up to fail. If we don’t help you, they thought, we can train you to be only one thing: better cogs for a broken machine. The machine is wearing out, breaking slowly, losing its usefulness, but they keep feeding it cogs to eat. To break; to destroy. To send off to war. To die. Or best case scenario for the military nightmare high ups, they’re not people - they’re fuck up burn out soon poors anyway, to die at their own hands: Guns in mouths, then bullets into brains. Pills in mouths. Repeatedly swallowed, until existence fades away then stops entirely. Numbed out by nonprescribed substances: pills, liquids, solvents, aerosols, and chemistry lab experiments gone wrong.

Fading away from notice until the military industrial complex can ignore these broken ex-soldiers or blame their deaths on: “I wish we could stop these tragedies. We really do. But they gave up. They lost hope. We’re sorry for them, but honestly, they were never really there or real to us, anyway. Burnt-out-fuck-ups, sacrificed to the war machine. Gone at: 22. 24. 19. 20. 26. 28. 32. 39. 40. 50. 62. 22. 20. 16.

We lost them. Of course we don’t blame ourselves, said the war machine; they merely fell into harms’ way. Fog of war. Passive voice shielding them from further inquiry. I wish they could just forget. What happened. Over there. So we could forget about them. Soldiers yet again. Let’s send them back into the deserts, like deserted perpetual motion machines. Fallen, dying demigod, risen yet again. Ad nauseum.

This is the Homecoming I never expected. 20-somethings from a small town with one major highway and one public high school. Gone. Lost; dead. Best forgotten? No. But hearing their stories is so much more painful than deadening our collective narratives and memories. We are witnesses to their homecoming recollections. All of us. But especially those left behind, me included, like them. “May we mourn for the dead. And fight like hell for the living,” Mother Jones reminded us.

Amen.

[bywandandsword]

So I paid near 50 dollars for my HESI Admission Assessment study book. t’s supposed to contain everything I’m supposed to know before I start taking the proper nursing classes, covering two years worth of material. Given it’s importance, I expected it to be as thick and in depth as my brother’s ASVAB study book, which is as thick as a phone book. 

This shit is only 153 pages, including the index. The anatomy and physiology section is only 16 pages. The biology section is 14 pages. The math section is longer than both of them combined. For a test that starts me in a medical field. The math section is longer than the anatomy and biology sections. 

Umm. Wtf? 

[asvabtutoringservices]

ASVAB Tutors near me

If you're looking for an ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) tutor, there are several options you can explore to find a suitable tutor near you:

ASVAB Tutoring – ASVAB tutoring in your area that offer ASVAB preparation classes or one-on-one tutoring. They may have experienced tutors who specialize in ASVAB preparation. Get free study materials, practice tests, and tutorials at website

https://www.asvab-tutoring.com/pricing/

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[stickysandwichninja-blog]

An Apple a Day Christmas gift ideas for teachers

 An Apple a Day? Christmas gift ideas for teachers

An Apple a Day? Christmas gift ideas for teachers

Some schools have strict policies about Christmas gift giving. These include dollar limits, “acceptable” gifts, or a “no gifts, please” policy. Parents often become anxious if their child’s school allows Christmas gifts for its teachers. Some may worry about how others might perceive the gift. Others may worry about what teachers will think if they don’t give their child’s teachers a gift. This article will give you some insight into teacher’s thoughts about student gifts and provide a few tips on gifts teachers need and will use quickly.

What Teachers are Saying About Christmas Gifts

First, let me say that this article is based on my personal experiences at schools where I’ve taught. This includes Catholic, virtual - hybrid charter, and public schools – a wide variety to be sure. It is based on conversations I’ve had with other teachers over the years.

One universal sentiment is that teachers don’t care whether or not students give them Christmas gifts. That is to say, if some students choose to give gifts and others don’t, it makes no difference whatsoever to them. When teachers receive a gift from a student’s family, it does not change their behavior toward the student/ family after the holidays. It’s “business as usual” once the holidays end.

Rest assured, teachers don’t care what kind of gifts families give them either. Homemade Christmas cards and kids’ art mean just as much as restaurant and store gift cards. Teachers teach because they are passionate about educating young people. Teachers would be happy to do what they do for free (if we could get away with it!).

If choosing a teacher gift is stressing you out, have your child make a Christmas card. Grab some paints, paint brushes, art paper, and other craft supplies and have them create a card for each teacher. This will eliminate the stress of those extra shopping trips. Personally, I have three file folders with every card, letter, or note students have given me for various holidays and school events. They’re some of my most cherished possessions.

Teacher Gift Ideas

If you decide to go ahead and get your child’s teacher(s) a Christmas gift, you’ll have to decide how much is “too much”. You’ll also have to decide what to get them, which can be stressful. Gift cards are a perfect choice for busy teachers. The following is a list of gift cards that teachers need and will appreciate.

1. Office Supply Store Gift Cards. Teachers spend between $500 - $1,000 a year on school supplies, decorations, and class party items out of their own pocket. Either the school has said they won’t pay for them or are things the teacher knows the school can’t afford but their students need. Gift cards from office supply stores like Staples, Office Depot, or Office Max will be greatly appreciated.

2. Gas Cards. This is especially true if the teacher’s commute is 30 minutes or more each way. Gas prices are high and the economy is tough. If you know a teacher who drives a fair distance to and from school, a gift card for a gas station along their route will probably be used the day they receive it!

3. Coffee Shop Gift Cards. There are two groups of teachers: those who believe caffeine is a teacher’s worst enemy and those who think no one should be forced to teach on as little sleep as they get without caffeine. A gift card from a local coffee shop or a place like Starbuck’s lets the teacher choose regular coffee, decaf., or even hot chocolate. Either way it’s a nice treat – especially for teachers who spend time brewing their own at home each morning.

4. Fast Food Gift Cards. A lot of teachers visit fast food drive thru’s on their way to school or forget their lunch and have to run quickly to the nearest fast food restaurant to grab something to eat. A gift card from a fast food restaurant near the school might be a good choice.

5. Entertainment Gift Cards. Last but not least are gift cards for entertainment such as iTunes, movie theatres, and video stores. Music is the perfect background noise during long hours of lesson planning and grading papers. Most teachers also like watching movies/ going to a movie to give themselves a break. Not just a “time” break (i.e. 2 ½ hours away from planning and grading) but a “mental” break to immerse themselves in a story they don’t have to read. (Most of our day is spent reading.) Teachers will surely appreciate your helping them take some personal time away from grading papers.

While some schools have strict policies against giving its teachers Christmas gifts, others leave the decision up to individual families. This can cause stress in choosing appropriate gifts and concern about the unintended message the gift may or may not be sending. Generally, teachers appreciate Christmas cards their students have made for them as much as store bought gifts. You may be able to avoid the stress by having your child make a card for each of their teachers. If you choose to buy a gift for your child’s teachers, some gifts teachers can really use are: office supply, coffee shop, fast food, movie theatre, or video rental gift cards.

I hope you found this article helpful. Please take a minute to leave a comment, Like this post on Facebook, or Tweet the post via Twitter using the buttons on the right side of my blog page. If you have questions about whether a tutor is right for you or if you would like advice for your unique situation, feel free to E-mail me using the “E-mail Jeff S.” button on my Wyzant tutor home page. I’m happy to help!

Damian J. - Hello! Thank you for your kind comment! I hoped to convey a teacher's point of view to help ease any parent anxiety about teacher gift giving.

I appreciate your taking time to read through it!

Have a Great Day!

Flexible, Licensed, Well-Traveled Tutor!

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[asvabtutoringservices]

ASVAB Classes near Me

It is required to clear the ASVAB test to join the military services in the US. Experts feel ASVAB tutoring offers the best ASVAB classes near me. With a process driven approach, you are sure to be one of the participants to be selected to the US military services.

[asvabtutoringservices]

ASVAB Test Tutor near Me

Fight the right battle to join the US military services. With exceptional diagnostic test at ASVAB tutoring makes you not to choose for any other ASVAB test tutor near me. Incredible suggestions that can change your life. Join us to see the reality.

[asvabtutoringservices]

ASVAB Tutor near Me

With exceptional performance, ASVAB tutoring is the best ASVAB tutor near me. The course structure is created in such a way that it deals precisely with what you want. Right from the inception till the exit, this becomes the best option for you.

[asvabtutoringservices]

Free ASVAB Test Online

Check your ability by taking free ASVAB test online with ASVAB tutoring. This is an incredible feat, and you must join the masters to realize your dream. With exceptional coaching and incredible price plan, ASVAB tutoring offers nothing less than excellence.

[asvabtutoringservices]

ASVAB Test Prep Classes Near Me

Comprehensive ASVAB Test Prep Classes near Me is available at the lowest price. ASVAB tutoring offers a one-stop solution for all your dreams to become a part of US military services. Top-class faculty and high standard coaching help you get closer to glory.

[asvabtutoringservices]

Excellent Experts at ASVAB Tutoring Makes your dream Come True

ASVAB Tutoring deals with comprehensive course curriculum for candidates who pursue the dream of joining the armed services in the US. If you are looking at an ASVAB School near me, it would be ASVAB tutoring. With experienced trainers all operating from all over the nation, the training organization claims to be the best in the industry. A lot of candidates reach out to ASVAB tutoring to keep their dreams alive. Many aspects make us the best.

Elite and Expert Staff

This is a prime aspect that makes the course curriculum the best. The expert coach of ASVAB tutoring has wide exposure towards the course. This helped them set a comprehensive curriculum. As such, the ASVAB course content is always complex. Making the complex content into simplified form is an excellent achievement. This has led to many advantages

·         Quick Preparation: The simplified model of the course curriculum has made the preparation more easy and fast too. Usually, it takes a year for anyone to prepare the course content. However, the sequential structure has a clear connection between the concepts. As a candidate, you can relish the pace in which your preparation is going on.

·         Frequent Knowledge Check: Having an expert coach has made the learning process concrete too. The course content is simplified, at the same time, ASVAB tutoring is named for the frequent tests and assessments that shall gauge your performance and learning capacity. the ASVAB teacher near me shall take you to the best level of learning and application.

·         The clarity in Application: The concepts that you learn needs to be applied at the appropriate application. This is a major challenge faced by many ASVAB aspirants At ASVAB tutoring, this is vastly avoided. The expert coach shall emphasize the areas where the concepts have to be applied. This coupled with frequent assessments shall help you learn the applications very easily.

·         Online Classes: This is of great convenience for many students. The experts are from all over the country. Connecting them virtually makes your learning memorable. You can also learn at your own pace. Also, this mode f learning can help you get the doubts cleared anytime. The expert coach is very flexible that they cater to your needs.

While the staff are experienced, the dedication that they show is immense too. You have to be it more proactive and start learning right from the beginning. Firstly, take the test that is conducted by ASVAB tutoring. The free ASVAB tutor near me shall provide you with the feedback. This shall be the best session as you will get to know your areas of improvement.

Action-Oriented Course Set up

ASVAB tutoring is named for its process-oriented approach. The area of concerns is easily addressed to build your strengths. The practise test that you take while preparing, helps the experts identify the areas of concerns. These weak areas of focused and you are coached on the same. This converts the weakness to their strengths. This is an elite-level performance by the ASVAB tutors.

Also, the weak areas of frequently assessed to ascertain if you are good enough to focus on the next concepts. Ideally, the ASVAB test requires you to score high to choose your benefits. This action-oriented approach shall assist you to score high.

Affordable Cost

This is an attractive aspect of ASVAB tutoring. Many coaching centres deal with ASVAB coaching. ASVAB tutoring offers courses at a relatively lower price. This means to say, you can prepare for your ASVAB test without spending much money. Moreover, you have free sessions that shall add value to your preparation. Get benefitted with top class training at ASVAB tutoring.