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privilege-archives · 8 years ago

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ASTERIO GILBERT ➝ FIRST SIBLING

I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN

❖ FULL NAME: Asterio 'Rio' Jaxon Olivier Smythe. ❖ PRONOUNS: He/Him. ❖ AGE: 24. (April 27th). ❖ BIRTH ORDER: First. ❖ GRADE: Freshman. ❖ MAJOR: Performance. ❖ SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Homosexual. ❖ ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Demiromantic. ❖ FACECLAIM: Brendon Urie.

I'LL FOLLOW YOU UNTIL YOU LOVE ME

[TW: physical abuse, drug abuse, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder]

Being the first born to Keaton and Sarah, and a boy no less, there were instant expectations for him Jaxon Smythe. They were strict, from the moment he began to walk, they were drilling rules into his head, trying to mould their perfect son early on. He was to be shown off, the golden boy, who would have a successful career, like his Father, and marry a beautiful girl, like his Father, and have a family, like his Father.

But Jaxon was a strange child. He mumbled a lot, was edgy, and when his siblings came along, rather than trying to get all of his Mother’s attention as a jealous child would, be enjoyed being left to his own devices. He liked to get into trouble, and he liked privacy, and nothing could seem to get him to conform to his Father’s rules as he grew. It seemed as though he loved getting under his Father’s skin and making life harder for him.

The older he got, the worse he got, acting out all of the time and constantly causing problems for everyone. Even at school, he was a difficult child, always being sent out, or to the principal’s office, or even home if his behaviour and attitude was bad enough. He was uncontrollable. Even when being punished for whatever he’d done, he’d find ways to piss you off more and satisfy himself in the process. Between him and his parents it was a constant cycle of arguments, getting into trouble, dealing with the consequences and doing it over again.

By the time he was 15, he was regularly getting into fist fights at school, and had gotten into a number with his Father too. But the bigger worry was his lack of emotional stability. There were weeks of locking himself away, experimenting with narcotics to drown out this issue that was getting to him, getting hooked on things that no 15 year old should be taking. There were weeks of him shutting off, letting the characters and the voices that kept whispering in his mind take over while he checked out mentally.

As he got older, he found himself in more cycles; arguing with his parents; drug fuelled cycles; sleep cycles that didn’t consist of any sleep. He thought that escaping everything at home and getting away from Los Angeles would solve his problems, would make the niggling thoughts go away, the ones that were becoming harder to block out no matter what he used to try and stop it. But he knew he’d never get away if he didn’t make it through school and graduate, which was the only thing that made him actually focus on school word. Despite his terrible appearance, dark circles under his eyes, slightly hollow cheeks, jeans that had grown baggier than they should have been, and his mind deteriorating, he was maintaining grades to pass his classes, and because of that, no one questions why he had grown to become in the state he was.

Someone, he did it, but boy was he a bad state by the time he graduated. Along with a handful of friends that were just as hooked on amphetamines and hallucinogenics as he was, they set off in the direction of New York City. They didn’t have jobs or anywhere to live, but they didn’t care. The trip took three months, with multiple week-long stop offs in random cities, and lots of nights locked up in motel room, trying to ignore the commands of the voices in his head, and rushed get-a-ways in the morning before anyone could charge him for whatever destruction he’d done to the room in a night of pacing, chatting to himself about his plan to make it in the city.

Days went by, Jaxon did a good job of keeping it together, even when he wanted to check out, and let whatever chaos would occur, ensued. But instead, he focused on his climb to the top, which began with sending in demos to various record labels based in the city— which, frankly, was many.

Growing up, there were two things, only two things, that Jaxon loved more than anything else. Skateboarding, for one. He’d first sparked an interest in skateboarding following the release of the first Tony Hawks’ Pro Skater game, getting his own skateboard 6 months later with his allowance, something his Father wasn’t pleased about, but when Jaxon started practising and learning to skate, it became clear he was a natural. The second thing he loved, was performing. He would always cite that performing was one of the best ways to block everything in his mind. He sang to himself a lot, cute in his child days, but growing slightly concerning when he got into skate punk music and the lyrics lacked innocence like his used to.

After a month of trying to do videos on YouTube (and rarely succeeding), and spamming labels with demos, he got an interview at Fueled by Ramen and was soon signed as a promising artist, which he was. His first album, released in 2011, was a huge hit on the rock charts and boosted him to instant stardom. Most already knew him as the rebellious, oldest Smythe, but now he had a new reputation, meaning he could to mould himself.

And he was wild. A national tour followed his debut album, and his second album, released in 2013, was followed by an international tour. Some problems went away, to some extent, others didn’t. With so much time rehearsing and performing and focusing on music, he felt more in charge of his old mind, like he was in control. But the attention, the money, and the popularity meant that drugs were easy to get his hands on, and now he was spending far more money on getting high than he ever had.

He didn’t work on much new music for a while, instead, he had fun, getting his face plastered over magazines and newspapers, renowned for his antics, his almost constant state of intoxication, his tendency to get around after he publicly came out as homosexual. Then, slowly, he stopped appearing on the news so much. Everyone lost interest as he stayed off the radar, to the point that he was phased out. Now he didn’t have someone watching his every move. When his contract at FBR was up for renewal, his declined and left, leaving with the same friends he showed up with in New York, to go on a new adventure. They didn’t bother keeping contact with many people after they left, making new friends every time they went somewhere new.

They floated around for a couple years, taking quite a few vacations out of the country, staying in hotels and motels and hostels, partying all of the time, causing trouble without consequence. But there was no music anymore, like before. Now he heard was party remix songs, the kinds that just sound like noise over anything else. It didn’t help with anything, didn’t stop anything, didn’t stop the episodes or hallucinations, especially not when he was always pumping his system full of drugs.

But in 2016, the boys decided it had been long enough, and they ought to go home, see their families and their old friends, start back in Los Angeles at the very beginning of 2017. Not that Jaxon was in a great state to be around family. Now he could at least make himself look better by slathering on some pale make up, but make up did nothing for when he was shaking and aggressive from withdrawls, or for the flinches and reactions when the voices are loud, for the panic in his eyes and his edgy disposition.

Though it’s halfway through the year, he’s sure he can manage to catch up on the work so far and be able to complete his tests. He’s got plenty to keep him going, but his mind is still slowly falling apart from and more and with no help, until he lets someone in to see the mess that is his mind, nothing is going to get better.

BABY, THERE'S NO OTHER SUPERSTAR

Jaxon looks a lot like Brendon does more recently. Slicked black hair, lots of black dress pants and metallic blazers or dark coloured shirts. He quite often wears glasses, but not always.

YOU KNOW THAT I'LL BE YOUR PAPARAZZI

Their father, Keaton, is a crazy successful director, and his mother, Sariah, is an equally successful actress.

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