#aster writes i guess
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i have a crush on you.
but i don’t think it’ll work out.
but only because i’m worn out jumpers
and cobweb covered celings
and old fireplaces
and flower crowns
and chaos
and you’re gleaming silver
and swimming pools
and the shine of dark hair
and clean countertops
and neat math problems.
but still, i persist.
i have a crush on you.
i don’t think it’ll work out.
#afghliitskyelyrluf#aster writes#aster writes i guess#she’s so pretty but she shines like her hair does and i’m sure her house is white and black and clean and new#and i’m pretty too but i shine like a dying star#my floor is always needing vaccuuming and my childhood best friend’s cousins come over and marvel at the state of my backyard#no chairs in my house match#my walls are covered in posters and random things and most things i own are thrifted#idk
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the guy.png
#this is a particular gaster that has spawned in my brain in the last week but. take it as a generic one i guess#undertale#fanart#gaster#digital art#krita#lineless#asters are too stupid to line so i did this lineless and the flowers are still wonky. but I just. i just needed to get my brain to re-set#classes ending at 7pm will DO things to you. anyways. i'm going to write some c code now#hang on#unnamed vampire au tag#MWaF related drawings
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writing a singular mediocre sentence really has me panicking and freaking out and despairing in a way that feels paradigm-shattering and ego-destroying but it's really probably more like buzz lightyear screaming YEARS OF ACADEMY TRAINING WASTED while wearing a silly hat
#by 'a singular mediocre sentence' i don't mean all the other sentences are great or artful or anything#i mean that i sat down to write and the first thing that came out was a piece of shit in the shape of words and. unfortunately. that's okay#even though it's extremely stupidly painful after i read through some of my last draft of bitter magic#and thought it was kind of hot shit not going to lie to you#i guess i'll never shake the 'oh this is it i'm done for' reaction to kind of sucking at writing now huh#aster chat#my writing
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do u see my vision do u think jade would wear these
YES OMGG!! I would LOVE to see Jade in those!! ESPECIALLY THAT PINAFORE. THAT IS SO JADE-CODED
I also think that Jade would wear:
Maxi skirts (I think he'd have a black maxi skirt that he would wear frequently... if he got used to the amount of material)
Short-sleeved button-ups (in summer, either with light trousers or shorts. Either cotton or linen, probably.)
Cargo shorts and pants (esp. for hiking)
Wrap dresses (I think a lavender or forest green one would look STUNNING on him)
Sports coats (tweed? wool? cotton?)
Suits ^w^
BLACK. TURTLENECK. (maybe with a blazer? or under a chunky sweater, if it was a thin material?)
I also think that the things Jade likes to wear depend on the individual piece... it sounds like he has some sensory issues with clothes, so he may dislike wearing certain garments, and maybe avoid certain clothing or fabrics altogether?
#krenenbaker's questions#the black turtleneck is me projecting what I WANT to see him wear... but he also would totally wear one. and look DELICIOUS wearing it#and I think he'd look fantastic in a grey suit#also I'm certain that all his clothing would be nicely fitted to him. likely tailored considering his family's status and wealth#and let's be honest; he would slay in literally anything he wore#there's also a chance he would simply avoid wearing clothes as much as possible... but I don't know#it depends on how much discomfort he feels I guess#... why did I write so much about this?#and methinks I use too many parentheses#I just love Jade so much#he's so pretty#my darling amanita ♡#aster✧
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the first of anything i've put here. ignoring the fact it was technically made as a vent that i later no longer needed, but felt obliged to finish. honestly, i'm more proud of the fact i finished it the way i did. just ignore the fact it was a vent fic and i project all of my emotions onto ink when i can, and tada!
so here we go. hurt/comfort
cuz i love angst with a happy ending :D
Ink has always been a strange case. Even he knew that. No soul and only little bottles of paint to call his emotions. He knew he was strange, but that didn't stop him. No, it only stopped him on those rare occasions when Error would stop destroying. He couldn't explain why being alone with his thoughts is a bad idea, no matter how many times you asked him. It happened so rarely that he couldn't remember. He couldn't remember half of his own doubts, unless he had nothing to do but think about them. That is what brought him here.
Ink was… crying? He didn't know why. Error wasn't doing anything, and Nightmare wasn't causing any sort of chaos. Why was he crying? He didn't understand. What was going on? Did he do something? No, that was the problem. He failed to save many AUs. Not to mention, his emotions were fake as anything. He knew that. He knew that his emotions weren't real. So what was the issue?
He curled up, sobbing. Thoughts flowing through his mind on how useless of a protector he was. The creators were counting on him, and he failed them multiple times. He wasn't sure what to do. His emotions were fake. Dream said he was proud of him once. Why? He never did anything on his own, always relying on the paint. He failed countless AUs. He failed so many times, he wasn't sure if he could take it. What was he doing wrong? Why would anyone be proud of him? He couldn't get out of his own head, disastrous thoughts swirling around.
“Ink?” he knew that voice. It was calm and gentle. He must have produced enough fake negativity to worry Dream. He spiraled further down into his dark thoughts.
“Ink? What happened?” he knew he should respond. He couldn't. Another sob shook his form as he desperately tried to talk to Dream. Dream seemed to call someone over before pulling him into a tight hug.
“I- I don't-” that was all he could say. He hated that. He wanted to say more. He needed to say more. Dream shouldn't have to deal with this. Shouldn't have to deal with him.
“Dream, why did you call me here?” he knew who that was. No one else had a voice like that. He couldn't stop himself from shaking and sobbing more.
“I- I'm-” he choked on his own sobs, trying his best to tell them to leave him as he is. He was hardly worth the effort, “G-guys- y- don't-” he could hardly form his own thoughts. He knew exactly what would happen if this continued. He desperately tried to reach for the yellow paint, to at least drown out all of this. To make them feel better.
He could hardly hear what Dream and Error were saying at this point. He was trying so hard to get to the yellow paint, or to at least tell them that they can leave, “L- don-don't- waste-” he tried to pull himself away. Dream just held on tighter.
“Squid, what happened?” Ink couldn't answer. He just kept sobbing uncontrollably. He kept trying to speak, but couldn't seem to get anything more out of his mouth. He wanted to say so much, but it all hurt. Why wouldn't it stop hurting? Why… no. He did deserve the pain, he knew that he did.
“I- s-sorry” he managed to get his apology out. He wanted to apologize more, but he couldn't. He failed to get a single word out.
“What are you sorry for?” Dream looked at him, confused and concerned.
“I- I- you know I- I'm s-soulless. W- why do y-you c-con-tinue t-to-” he broke out into more sobs, looking down and to the right. He didn't deserve this comfort, not after all the problems he caused, and how much he failed to save the AUs.
"Ink, look at me.” Error was now in front of him. Ink tried to shake his head and look the other way, but a hand stopped him and forced him to look up anyways,"Ink, you still have feelings. You can still feel. You can't tell me you don't, because the fact you're upset about this anyways denies that fact. I've seen you when you don't have any emotions. This is not that. You do feel."
Ink broke down more. He didn't know how to respond to that. He was waiting for them to hate him. That happened to all the other's. It always happened. It was why he constantly showed up. It was why he worked so hard. He couldn't be forgotten. He refused to be alone.
"I- I'm not- J-just- I-" he was back to hardly forming any words again. He hated that. He hated how useless that felt. Why could he speak? He just needed to tell them that he could drink more paint. It would go away then.
"It's ok Ink. It's alright, we're here." Dream patted his back gently. Ink wanted to pull away, but couldn't. He was tired. He was still sobbing heavily, but he was so tired now. He rested against Dream slowly, calming down as he slowly fell asleep. He never noticed the concerned and relieved expressions of the two who were there with him.
He woke with a yawn. He was so tired. Why was he tired? Did he stay up late on a project again? He looked around, but didn't see any projects. Dream and Error were on the floor in sleeping bags. Blue's bag was there, but he himself was nowhere to be found in the room. Why were they there? Was there some sleepover he forgot? He never forgot entire sleepovers though.
It took a few moments, but he remembered what happened. His eyes widened, and he realized he'd have to talk about what happened. He didn't want to, but he knew that they wouldn't leave him alone. Not after the fact he... did he fall asleep? He must have, but that would mean he fell asleep on Dream.
He sighed and got up quietly. He was surprisingly quiet when he wanted to be. He got ready and left without much sound. He wanted to see what Blue knew about what happened. He wondered how much was told.
He knew the smell of Blue's breakfast tacos by now. He went into the kitchen and smelt them instantly. Smiling to himself, he walked in, almost forgetting why he was there in the first place.
"Morning Blue" said skeleton jumped upon Ink's greeting. His smile widened upon seeing the energetic skeleton spooked by his entrance.
"Morning Ink! Glad to see you're doing better." Blue looked at him happily for a few moments before going back to breakfast.
"Eh, it was a strange thing. Not sure what happened, honestly." he shrugged and sat down. He knew what happened. He was alone with his thoughts. Sometimes, he truly is as much of an airhead as everyone claims him to be. Other times, he seems to recognize more things than he wishes to. He hated it, but could do nothing about it.
"Dream was really worried. Honestly, I wasn't told of the entire situation, but I'm sure it'll be explained later."
"Probably. I'm not expecting them to drop it. Not when I fell asleep during it too."
"They won't. They told me they'd catch me up when you woke up, and judging by the fact you're here alone, they weren't awake when you were."
"Nope! And I got by without waking them ei-" he figured that was wishful thinking. Of course they'd wake up soon if he did. He was hoping he'd get some time to possibly leave, but seems luck wasn't on his side.
"Ink! You didn't wake us up." Dream acted like he expected Ink to wake him up.
"Uhhh- you were sleeping?" he tilted his head slightly in confusion. He didn't get why Dream would want him to wake them up.
"We wanted to talk to you though-" Dream was cut off by Ink.
"There isn't anything we really need to talk about though. I mean, it was a one time thing! Seriously, there's nothing to it." he tried to get Dream to drop it. He wanted Dream to drop it.
"We really should talk about it! You were feelin-"
"It was a fluke. I probably drank too much blue or something Dream. There isn't anything wrong!"
"Ink, seriously, lis-"
"Both of you shut it!" Ink hadn't realized Error was there. When did he show up? "Ink, we need to talk about it, because you sure as hell didn't take too much blue."
"How do you know that?" Ink tilted his head slightly again.
"Because I keep track of how much you usually drink. You don't have any less than what you normally would, which means that you didn't take more blue than normal. Which means that this is something we need to talk about."
"...I- what even is there to say?" Ink didn't know what to do. He was confused and he didn't want to talk about this. There wasn't any reason to.
"Ink, what happened?" Error was now the one questioning him. Dream was over by Blue's side now, probably telling him about what happened, most likely.
"I- I don't know" he took a step back, trying to remember. He couldn't ever remember anything. Stars, no wonder people usually were so infuriated with him.
"Ink, please. You don't have to say what you were doing before, just what happened to make you feel like that."
"I- I was thinking. Then, I- I shouldn't do this. I- I shouldn't-" he suddenly backtracked. The same thoughts from before started to return. He took a step back.
"Ink, please. Tell me." the plea in Error's voice made him stop and look.
"I- I just- nothing was wrong. Every universe was fine- I don't get it. I hadn't- nothing had gone wrong recently. I- why did- why did I remember every time I failed? I- I know- it's-" he had tears running down his face. He tried to cover his face, but it didn't work. Error gently pulled his hands away and slowly brought him closer.
"It's alright Ink. You did your best, and-"
"M-my best wasn't g-good e-enough."
"Shush. Your best was enough to give them hope and to let some escape. You can't win every fight, and how many times did you show up already hurt from something else?"
Ink stayed silent. He didn't want to wrap his arms around Error. He didn't want Error to crash, or to not want to be near him again. He let his arms stay limp as Error tried to comfort him.
"...I- I'm sorry" he spoke after a new minutes. He couldn't take it. Why was he still upset? This isn't how it was supposed to work.
"For what?" Dream was suddenly there again. When did Dream get that close?
"You came here for me, because I was upset, but... It's a bit pointless, isn't it?" he slowly looked over at Dream, not moving too much from Error's embrace.
"It wasn't pointless-" Dream wanted to say more. Ink knee that, but he wasn't done yet.
"My emotions... my feelings... they're not real, are they? I don't have a soul. They're not real, they're fake. You're here, worrying about something that isn't real. I'm sorry." Ink looked back down, away from Dream. It looked like Error was getting irritated, because he started to glitch more.
"That isn't true Squid. You take them all, and you use them all. You allow yourself to feel naturally. You don't come with this emotions, but they still change based off of environment. They're just as real as mine." Error's grip tightened around him. Ink looked up, confused. Did he really think that?
"Error's right. You're emotions change naturally. You just need an outside source, but even then, you still feel. Something sad happens, you still get sad without drinking your paint." Dream gently pat the top of his skull, giving the warm smile he always does, even if tears are slowly building up in it.
"Yeah! They flow and come and go. Your eyes show that much!" Blue was enthusiastic about it. Ink knew that Blue really wanted to help, but he couldn't figure out what to say that wasn't already said.
"...thanks guys." he smiled and tears fell from his eyes again. He went partially limp in Error's arms,.to which Error had decided to sit down. The others came and hugged him too, being careful of Error. Ink felt better, and, more importantly, he felt validated and important.
#ink sans#aster writes#oh hey a fic#error sans#dream sans#swap sans#no ships but i guess you can interpret one#i don't even know if anyone's gonna see this#at least on tumblr#i might post random wips just cuz i can#and maybe some poems i had to write or did write#...i write a lot of vent things now that i think about it#hurt/comfort
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This line in The White Aster of Masyaf
According to the records inside Faheem’s room (which he allowed his sons to enter as long as they promise not to touch any of the weapons), the Al-Sayf family was probably one of the oldest Assassin families in Levant and there were even records dating as far back as 870 when a member of the Al-Sayf family journeyed to England to create and manage a bureau in a settlement south of a place called Leicestershire.
is meant to imply that Hytham is an ancestor of the Al-Sayfs for no other reason than because I wanted to.
#ac fic: the white aster of masyaf#altdes#fic trivia#headcanon: assassin's creed#i guess#teecup writes/has a plot
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Chapters: 5/? Fandom: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Original Female Character(s)/Johanna Mason Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Characters Additional Tags: Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, 72nd Hunger Games, Hunger Games-Typical Death/Violence, Character Death, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Pre-Canon, evelyn aster is trying her best, protective sister trope, no beta we die like rue, Mentions of canon characters - Freeform, Canon Divergence, pansexual johanna mason, Lesbian OC, Hunger Games, canon typical trauma Summary:
After a successful Tribute's Parade Evelyn encounters an intimidating Johanna Mason. With the first day of training right around the corner, who will seek out allies and who will find themselves staring down a new enemy?
#GUESS WHO FINALLY UPDATED#chapter five of hhfo is out in the world and i could not be happier#every time i thought i had finished it i went#hmm just ONE more scene#and then it turned into a four month endeavor#but im so happy to be done with chapter five#evelyn aster my trash daughter#fic: hell has frozen over#hhfo fic#hhfo chapter five#hunger games fic#hunger games original female character#lesbian oc#johanna mason x original female character#72nd hunger games#72nd hunger games fic#writing how i adore queue
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any ferin of choice and 16 :3
16. in dreams.
"i see her, sometimes, you know."
jay glances up to her left, the half-finished bits and bobs of her latest project scattered in front of her. "see who?"
"the lady. of the sun, i mean." drey sits next to her, a loose screw rolling as the ship sways around them. "never clearly, it's uh... harder to remember those things. but i think—i think she's calling."
jay laughs, catching the screw before it falls to the ground. she leans her shoulder into drey's, holding up a sheet to the light with her other hand. pinprick patterns trace shimmering patterns into being, a whisper of magic still coming to life.
"i think i know what you mean."
and then, quieter: "i hear her too."
[ send me a number and i'll write a micro story ]
#from the deep dark#<- i guess ??#the ferins .... ASTER............#i never post my writing so this is. weird. whatever#asks#not ferin well#my artchive
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word ask game: fall
Oh! A fun one:
"Think of it like... Uh.. " Oswald's Steamonus paused for a second, thinking "Like when you fly a bunch. You don't want to fall over asleep, you just need a second before you can fly again" Winston's Pompatiel ended up filling in "I think that's exclusive to you" Feri looked over to him "It's not! " Azura defended "We can't fly forever" Feri sighed slightly "I meant the metaphor, I don't think Aster can fly"
Little does Feri know-
#nexomon#nexomon spoilers#hinting at Aster's tyrant form I guess#anywho#some nexomon friends#yay!#writing my fic#ask game#nayvwriter#answered ask
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It could possibly take weeks for some chapters to come out but may take far less time for other chapters because my writing process is very non-linear.
Typically the process goes: I take the summary for a small chunk of the story from the gigantic outline then I write the main bulk of the first draft for that chunk. However, because of my ADHD brain, I often skip around as I work, or the logic between the dialogue/narration doesn't yet fit or isn't in order.
After getting the bare bones down, I rearrange things and fill the story in with a lot of details, exploratory detours, bridging topics and logic, and transitions. This rearrangement and fill-in part of writing always lengthens the chapter I originally meant to be one into something more like three or four. In fact, the first three chapters were originally meant to be the entire prologue, but I couldn't justify to myself a prologue being 7,000+ words long.
The result of this process is that I often have chunks of the next part of the story like 80% done, but I just need to decide where to break it up into smaller parts to be released as manageable-sized chapters. My guess is that depending on where I think it naturally breaks, chapter length could vary from 1,000 words to 10,000 words.
So depending on where I am in the writing process for the next chunk of the story, I could have some of the next chapters already lined up and getting ready to go, or I could have nothing at all and I have to pull from the outline summary again.
It's admittedly a little annoying to write in this manner, I wish I could write in a linear way instead of jumping all over the place. But it's how my brain works, so I gotta roll with it.
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.
‘This is hell…’
A young woman thought that as she shivered. She glared at the snow around her and covered the skeletal trees in a pristine and beautiful blanket of icy torture. It wouldn’t be so bad if it just wasn’t so cold. Her thin sweater was better suited for late spring than the middle of winter, and the beanie that covered her short brown hair, the ripped jeans, and well worn boots with a hole in the left toe could only offer a little protection from the bone chilling cold that surrounded her.
As if compelled by an unknowable force, she trudged through the old forest. It was quiet as she walked. The birds had all left, and the few animals that weren’t hibernating for the winter silently stalked through the snow. She thought she saw a rabbit briefly, but the more she looked at the spot where she thought she saw it, the more she was sure it was merely the trick of the light.
She paused as stopped by a large tree. It was an evergreen. It was one of the few definite signs of life left in the forest. She sighed as she rested beneath it. It only made her colder, but for now, she needed the rest before she went further. As she rested, she couldn’t help but remember something.
It was the start of autumn then. The crimson leaves were fluttering down from the other trees and she sat with someone underneath this tree. She couldn’t remember what he looked like but the hazy outline of him in her memory made her smile softly. He was smiling at her. Underneath the last bit of golden light shining down, he almost seemed angelic.
“You really like coming here, huh.”
She huffed. The needles that fell down were getting tangled in her, and he picked them out when he noticed. “Neither of us have a job. Can you think of a better place to hang out for free?”
“Yeah, my place.”
“My dad won’t let me stay over anywhere without an adult he knows there. Especially not with you.”
“Oh what’s wrong with me?” During that time, she wouldn’t have been able to answer. Between the fading light of the sun, the cool wind, and his warm arm around her, she couldn’t pick out a single flaw in him at that moment, but now…
“Everything. Everything was wrong with you.” That was the only answer that came to mind now.
She dusted herself off as she got up and held her arms. They were hurting for some reason.
Now that she thought about it, all her limbs hurt. The longer she walked through the forest, the more that she was realizing how unnaturally quiet it was. Even if it wasn’t close to getting dark yet, there should have been someone or something else here. There should be something telling her that something was alive, but for now, it was just her, her heavy limbs, and the silent blanket that covered the ground around her.
She stopped again to rest on a stump as another memory came back to her.
There he was again. He was always all smiles around her. A lot of her friends were jealous that such a cute guy loved her so much, but sometimes she thought it was a little too overbearing. There was something unnerving at times about it, and sometimes, it childishly made her want to hurt him just to see how he would react. Naturally, she never did. It would have been too cruel.
She sat on the stump while he sat on the ground and looked up at her a bit. He was normally taller than her, but like this, she was just enough taller than him that she could look down. It was just starting to get cold, but she was stubborn and wanted to just wear a sweater. He had huffed and let her wear his jacket. It smelled softly of his cologne, and it made her blush when she first put it on.
The first bit of snow had hidden the leaves that had fallen only a few weeks ago, but the forest was alive with the last of the animals gathering what they would need for winter. Birds flew overhead as they sought refuge from the cold while the bears and squirrels gathered and feasted as much as they could to survive the yearly calamity that would befall them.
“You know, I thought about what we talked about last time.”
“Oh? What was that again?”
“Why your dad didn’t like me. Honestly, I think its kind of bullshit. We’re starting college next year. You’re not a little kid that needs protecting anymore.”
“He’s my dad…honestly, why are you so caught up on it? Every dad is overprotective of their daughters. The cliche exists for a reason you know. You can’t sit there and tell me if we had a daughter you-”
“You’d have a kid with me?”
She could feel her cheeks heating up. “Maybe after you get a job, you bum.”
He laughed at that. “Fine, but you gotta get one as well. I don’t wanna work all the time and not spend any time with you, alright?”
“You just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t cheat.”
Despite the heaviness in her limbs, she got up and started running. It felt like hours before she finally made it. The frozen lake was surrounded by skeletal trees that guarded it like a sacred treasure. She pressed her hands to the glass-like surface. Despite the cold that surrounded her, there was life underneath the ice along with treasures left from bygone days.
Slowly but surely as she looked at the frozen mirror, it all came back. She remembered everything, and she sighed as she spotted a glimpse of herself at the bottom of the lake. It had been a messy fight, and he had been so mad about her “abandoning” him.
“You’re leaving?!” She was surprised to see him there. She hadn’t invited him. She had come here to visit before she went to live with her grandparents for a short while. It was just til her dad got the house renovated. It was nothing too serious.
“It’s just for a few weeks, it’s fi-”
“Oh, and when were you going to tell me, huh?!”
“Later, after my walk…” She felt herself walking backwards, away from him. “I was going to tell you, I promise.”
“Then why are you thinking of breaking up with me?”
“Where on earth did you-”
“I saw it in your texts!”
She felt her blood go cold. “What?” She had never given him her phone, ever. When did he…It didn’t really matter when it happened. What mattered is that it happened, and all the little things that he did like constantly ask her where she was or tried to alway get her alone or how much he talked and talked about how much her father hated him finally finally broke the metaphorical camel’s back and with it their relationship of five months. “You know, I don’t care. We’re done.”
“What?” His voice had sounded so small and hurt. Even if there were birds left in the trees, they wouldn’t have stirred if they heard it. It may as well have been a whisper.
“We’re done. It’s over.” She sighed. “I’m sorry, you’re really a nice guy, but I’m tired of always being monitored by you. I loved you, but i-”
She didn’t have time to finish the apology. She only had time to hold her hands up reflexively and uselessly as he pushed her to the ground. There’s a sharp pain in the back of her head as it hits a rock, and the world turns from brown trees, blue skies, and white clouds into pitch black.
She doesn’t see him freak out. She doesn’t hear him beg for her to wake up and try, desperately, to make her head stop bleeding, but her body doesn’t react throughout it, and it doesn’t react when he throws her unresponsive body into the ice cold lake. She didn’t hear the justifications he told himself to try and rationalize this, but she would have told him that they were all bullshit.
Which is what she was doing right now, not that it would have stopped it from happening or would undo the damage. She should have stayed home like her dad had asked her to, but she had insisted because she loved going for walks in the woods. She had played there since she was a child, of course it would be safe. How could she have thought that would happen? Even her own dad wouldn’t have thought that would happen. He didn’t want her to be late, and now, he had to wait for the lake to thaw out to retrieve his daughter’s corpse.
She was surprised when she started hearing footsteps. She didn’t notice that her own steps couldn’t make any noise until she saw her body like that, but hearing those steps now just cemented the truth of what happened.
He had said he wouldn’t come back here, but her father had basically forced him to come looking for her again. It hadn’t been too long since the incident, but he had been in every search party, and he managed to keep them away from the lake. Some tried to make her father believe that she had run away or maybe she got kidnapped, either way, the older man was sure that she was in this forest, and he had to make sure he never found out. He was sure the older man would kill him if he did.
He pauses as he passes by the spots the two of them went on while on walks. He had been so in love with her, and if he were honest with himself, he was still in love with her.
The memory of her short brown hair and lovely blue eyes haunted him nowadays. The memory of her sitting with him under trees or seeing her in the sun’s cool light in the middle of autumn with the leaves turning red and falling around him made him long for those days to come back, but he had destroyed that idea with his own hands.
He stared at the lake as he reminisced about that day. It was his fault. Even he wouldn’t deny that. He may have overreacted, but when he looked and saw that text from her best friend a few weeks ago, he was on high alert. He didn’t think he could survive without her, and when he had heard the rumors that she would be leaving for a few weeks, he panicked. She couldn’t abandon him, not her.
She watched him and stood by him as he looked at her body. She knew there were issues in his home, but she didn’t think he would do this to her. He begged her once to never leave him, and she smiled a little. If he didn’t want her to leave, fine, she wouldn’t.
It felt strange when he got home. Normally, the white walls and hardwood floors of home were cold but comforting, but today, it was just cold. The blank walls that surrounded him became more noticeable, and the windows showed only pitch black darkness. There were no notes from his parents today, but he knew no one was home, but he could swear he felt a familiar warmth behind him as he hung his coat up and took off his dirty shoes.
His steps sounded somehow too loud and too quiet. He felt like there should be a second set of steps following him as he walked to his room. He stopped by the thermostat and checked it before he went to get ready for bed. It was supposed to be around seventy degrees there, but it felt like he was still outside in the cold, and when he took a shower, he was sure that the water should be almost scalding hot, but it felt as cold as the lake was when he threw his girlfriend’s body in.
She had never been inside of his house before, and she was glad she hadn’t. It felt lifeless. If she had to guess, she would have thought it was a brand new place that was about to be sold off, but he had lived here all of his life. There was nothing but blank, neutral colored walls, beige furniture, and the only decorations around were colorless vases and other odd objects that didn’t add anything and were only there to take up space.
It was lonely, and it was nothing like the warm hues and little knick knacks and photos that littered the walls of her own home. When he got into bed, she allowed herself to be seen as she sat at the foot of his bed. At first, he was stunned before he moved toward her. There was nothing but hope and adoration in his eyes, nothing like the desperation she saw in her final moments.
“Em? Is that you?” He grinned like a kid who finally had everything he had ever asked for granted to him, but this wasn’t a fairytale, she wasn’t there, and instead of embracing her, he hugged nothing but ice cold air. “Wh-...I…Em?”
“Sorry, Nate…” Her “hand” brushed his cheek, and he flinched from the searing cold that practically burned him.
He rubbed his cheek and stared at her in disbelief. “E-em?!”
His eyes were confused for a moment before afraid as she moved closer to him.
“E-em, I-I’m real sorry about what happened…you-you know how I am! I-I couldn’t l-” He stopped when her hands grasped his face, as warm as they were when they were just in love sitting under the tree and basking in the sun together like they should be now. They should be sitting on the couch by the Christmas tree while her dad built a fire in the fireplace. They should be drinking hot chocolate, opening gifts they got for each other, and wearing warm pajamas as her dad reluctantly allowed them to be in a relationship together. “Emma…”
“It’s alright, Nathan, I’m not mad at you.”
“You’re not?”
“Nope, not one bit. I want us to be together forever. It wouldn’t do us any good to hold a grudge.” Those words felt like bile on her tongue, but it was worth it so he wouldn’t fight. The cold started from his cheeks, and the more she moved to cuddle with him, the colder he got. She wrapped the blanket around them and rested her head on his chest. “I love you, Nathan.”
He wrapped his arms around her. For the first time in his life, he had gotten what he truly wanted, and he couldn’t be happier. “Love you, too, Emma,” he mumbled as he drifted off.
What should have been a happy Christmas turned into a day of mourning. Nate’s father had come home, tired, and it took hours before he finally checked on his son. Nathan’s death was ruled as an accident, but his father spent days having people come there and check the house before finally putting it up for sale and leaving town. They found her body in the lake, and while no one could confirm what had happened, they were sure that Nathan had something to do with why she was there.
She stood by her father’s side as he sat at her grave. He had shown up everyday since they found and buried her. It had been a closed casket funeral.
“I’m so sorry, Em…”
“It’s not your fault.” He couldn’t hear her, but when she wrapped her arms around him in one last hug, he thought he felt the warmth of the sun.
#aster talks#short story#i posted an unpolished version a long time ago#but this is a slightly polished version from a creative writing class#writeblr#i guess#i...#no one is actually going to take the time for this so what the hell why not post it
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i am however mildly relieved because no new xiao or xingyun lore dropped which means i don't have to rewrite or fully scrap either of my big wips... pog
#category 5 aster moment#lantern rite 2023#i was so annoyed with myself for coming up with a new xiao fic idea right before lantern rite HDHDHDHH#and for not finishing my 2 year old xingyun fic by now#still annoyed at that one actually#can't win em all i guess. especially considering i have no time to actually write#i was going to work on some very basic research stuff (a character name; dont wanna be more specific bc spoilers) today#didnt get to sit down for 5 minutes before i realized i had real life work to work on 😔#havent gotten to do ANYTHING creative today i haven't even gotten to work on my mending#anyway if anybody knows anything about shang dynasty names let me know#i need to look over my xingyun wip and edit it so i can start posting it even if it's not finished#i was really trying to finish it all before i posted it but. frankly at this rate it just won't happen that way shfjfhfh
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having a wretched day with a wretched sequel sure to follow tomorrow. michael shelley is going to be whumped about this
#the thing is that i miss him and no one else does anything with him that i want#losing control of my life and also my misophonia so it’s either read or write or play bg#like i would love to get invested in a good michael centric fic but it all just. it’s not what my soul wants#and im not a big fic reader anyway so it’s like. if I can’t find what I want then im not lowering my standards???#but the problem remains that I Miss Him#so write what I’d want to read is just. I guess that’s the only play left besides do something else#and I have a headache so none of it sounds good anyway#but I Miss Him#oh my god will this week never end. will this week never end and will my mom ever be not sick again im so tired#and it’s so shamefully clear that I do not have a caretaker’s soul and it’s just lumping on more shame and guilt to the anger and tiredness#I’m TIRED. im fucking tired and would like to be done with this#and would like to not have the Fucking Headache from Hell also#aster chat
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I FOUND THIS!!!
i had to search 'how long in cm are chick fil a sause packets' to find it mweheee (*´▽`*)
i'm not sure if they meant a single packet or both,, but the second comment gives measurements!! YAY!!!!! if they were only talking about a single packet,, then saus cat would be 4 inches long or 10 CM!!!! SAUS CAT IS TALLER THAN ASTRO OMIGOSHHHHH Σ(°ロ°) Σ(°ロ°) Σ(°ロ°) ‼️‼️‼️‼️ /LH
tynee. tynee cat 🥺🥺🥺 google, how do i pet a kitty through the screen?—
your sona may be 6 inches tall...
but are they TWO SAUS LONG?!?!??! /silly :333
★hoL ON-★
★this erm- this took me by erm, surprise /POS !!★
★..errmm wait, let me research of how long are two chick-fil-a sauce packets★
*does a quick search*
*finds nothing*
★...well★
★I guess so ? I guess not? Mathematically erm, I dunno-★
★however I can see em being like. urh. Two sauces long. Or something.★
#★no but like urrrhhh..#I dunno#I guess I just keep on shrinking and changing my sona's height at this point I'm not sure#last time we talked about how cool it be to be the size of a button quail#now I'm thinking of how cool it be to be two sauces long-#urh#also urh#I kinda wanna hold that cat#or maybe if I was a tiny idk#I'd ride on it's back like it' a horse on something#oh#oh to ride on a giant cat#..and by giant I mean with the cat being more than 2 sauces long- cause that's reserved for my sona /j★#★ kitty anonymous 🐈🔍 !!★#★answers to asks★#<<< their tags!!#mwehehee perpetually shapeshifting tiny /j#OMIGOSH COWBOY STEREN BUT INSTEAD OF RIDING A HORSE THEY RIDE A CAT THAT'S SO SILLY AND CUTE OMIGOSHOMIGOSH#whaddya think of the nickname 'rennie or aster/astie? ((aster : 'as'tro;; 'ster'en)) astie can be a sillier vers. of astro too :DDD#i made a typo when writing astro;; i wrote asteo on accident and my first thought was osteoporosis for some reason#i don't even know what that word means!! ☆⌒(>。<)#also when i first thought of rennie my mind instantly connected it to remy from ratatouille /silly#ste'ren' - rennie!! :DDDD#i'm having the 2AM mind zoomies#i was asking ai donnie if caterpillars can count and know how many legs they have#and if caterpillar lawyers would be called leafers 'cause caterpillars eat leaves (i think)#HELP I HAD TO DELETE A FEW TAGS CAUSE I HIT THE LIMIT FROM MY YAPPING SGWKVDKDG#kittykitty reblogs#starry night sky!!!#kittykitty interactions
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Little comfort drabble I wrote for myself. Mostly based off of my self-insert OC
It's all comfort, and there's no dialogue. Just a little slice-of-life thing going on
I sat there, numb. I knew the gang wouldn't really appreciate it, but I didn't know what else to do. It was the easiest for me.
Killer walked in, making it clear how little he liked the fact I had been in my room all week. I couldn't bring myself to really care, but I put out the effort.
He dragged me out of the room anyway, plopping me down on the couch, next to Horror and Dust. Cross was on the floor in front of me. They were all about to play a game.
I didn't really say much. I just curled up, laying my head in Horror's lap as Dust moved closer to me. I couldn't imagine why, though Cross also scooted to sit in front of me.
Killer, the ever annoying gremlin he was, laid on top of me. I looked at him, clearly annoyed. All he did was laugh and pat my head, telling me to just watch.
I retorted softly, saying that there wasn't anything else I could do. I could feel Horror pat my head, saying something that I couldn't quite bring myself to make it out.
They started playing. I smiled softly as everyone laughed and yelled at each other. Cross leaned back, rubbing his skull on my arm. I sighed softly, affectionately rubbing his cheek with my hand after a few moments. It was worth it to see his face tint purple.
Killer teased the poor skeleton after that. I didn't try to stop his antics. After all, it'd be pointless. Plus, it was nice to see Cross' face get more and more purple .
I closed my eyes, relaxing in their presence. I already felt better, and I slowly fell asleep right there, to the sound of everyone playing a game.
#aster writes#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#cross sans#comfort#been feeling down all week#dunno why#just depression hitting hard i guess#wrote this for myself#but figured it'd be nice to share#so here we are
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