#assumed me to be nonbinary

[lolliepops-rox]

This is my petition for people who create pins/stickers/other things with "she/they" & "he/they" to also include "she/he". I'm kind of sick of being excluded, and I'm sure there are plenty of others who feel the same.

[beastwhimsy]

this would happen

[uncanny-tranny]

Quick tip: If a trans passing guide is focused on thinness, whiteness, or getting rid of anything about yourself that is "too clockable" (regardless of if that thing about yourself makes you happy), maybe it isn't worth fretting about, since it is clearly coming from a homogenized idea of what passing looks like

[spartalabouche]

sometimes its really obvious how much people dont actually believe presentation=/=gender when they see their nonbinary friend go from extremely masculine to relaxing back into femininity once theyre comfortable with their gender and every time they call it detransitioning with zero indication thats what their friend is calling it. i dont know how to tell you this but sometimes you present a certain way for social reasons and not because thats how you actually feel. sometimes you experience dysphoria about your body that is actually related to how people view you and not how you feel about your body. i really dont think its that uncommon for trans people to swing really hard in one direction for the affirmation and then relax back into a different presentation once they are more comfortable in their gender

[khaire-traveler]

The gods are beautiful, and beauty has no gender.

[wumbreon]

The funny thing about my nonbinary identity is that I didn't like or wear pink stuff that everyone considers girly until I was not a girl.

I was very very averse to anything that would make me considered girly when I literally identified as a girl (until the age of maybe 14?) One year from now I will have been identifying as nonbinary for half of my life and that's exciting!

Growing up, I would shop in the boys section for clothes because I was so uncomfortable with wearing what everyone told me I had to wear.

But then in highschool my mom got me a pink sweater. Pastel and peachy, nothing like I had ever worn. At that point I was questioning my identity as I had never fully felt like a girl (go figure!) But I never felt like a boy either. I never saw gender as mattering in any way and when I finally embraced that concept, I was comfortable enough to try the pink sweater because I had grown to understand that pink =/= girl.

And you know what? I loved it! I loved wearing pink. I felt like I was glowing. Like the warmth from my heart was amplified to everyone around me. I just felt like it looked great on me, and that was not common! I started acquiring pink clothes and even started falling in love with bows! Not because they are girly but because to me, they just fill me with pure joy deep down. Pink and bows make me happy and I dont have to explain why, I can just accept it and enjoy it. You can wrap a boy kitten in a bow just as well as a girl because gender doesnt matter. A beast is a beast.

What I'm making this post to say is that I avoided things associated with womanhood/girlhood when at the time I figured that yeah I was a girl, i just don't like those things. Maybe at the time I didn't and that's fine, but now I do! I don't think that makes me a woman and actually I know deep down that I started allowing myself to dress in a way that makes me most happy Because I'm comfortable not being a woman. Because I'm comfortable just adorning my body in what makes me the most happy and not what makes the biggest statement about my noncompliance to gender roles. When you throw out gender roles entirely in your mind then all clothing is cool! At least to me.

[redshoes-blues]

I’ve seen so many people saying that “of course the straight couple get the happy ending” (meaning ineffable bureaucracy), am I missing something? I thought Beelzebub was nonbinary ? Did I make this up in my head, or have people just forgotten because of the actor swap?

[thefleshyougoveggie]

the internalized homophobia i have as a transmasc with a strong preference for men is crazy… i mean i know it stems from other ppl expecting me to prefer women, or i guess be more interested in dating women than i am? and the whole idea of masculine+feminine being what society expects? but it also just feels wild to be grow up being expected to date men and then later on feel bad about it? if that makes sense lol

[kunosoura]

Sorry for the #queergamerdiscourse but it makes me weirdly frustrated when people confidently say that the part in ch4 where berdly makes a pass at Kris makes him bisexual. Like actually I think you should be 75% less sure about saying that, minimum

[uncanny-tranny]

Important tip for trans men/transmascs/whoever needs the reminder: Even if you pass as a man to cis people, you still need to have either some form of self-protection on you (e.g., mace, knives (if you can use them effectively), ect.) or know some form of self-defense. Please take it from me, you don't know what will happen out there at any given time.

You might assume that if you pass as a cis man to cis people, you will be safe from any harm. While I wish that were true, it simply isn't the world most of us live in. Please do whatever you can to protect yourself out there.

[caffeinatedopossum]

I hate having to tell people I'm trans to be gendered correctly. But also I'm like straddling the gender line apparently cause once I tell people they have to ask which *way* I'm trans. Funny how they can tell I'm afab until I say I'm trans 😭 like ??? What exactly about me screams "I want to be perceived as a woman"??

[your-favorite-wof-dragon-is]

Sry I don't remember if I've asked or not, sry if I have. But omniromantic aegosexual Cricket (both the cover versions of that's ok? U don't have 2 tho sry) and if it's ok maybe enby girl Peril? Sry

Cricket is omniromantic and aegosexual!

Sunny is a nonbinary girl!

[nydescynt]

It seems like some of the arguments around the definitions of bisexuality vs pansexuality have circled back around into No True Scotsman fallacy?

The idea I keep seeing go around is that pansexuality emerged, completely unecessarily, from an idyllic trans-and-nonbinary-inclusive bisexual identity. The posited alternative is that bisexuality is Inherently Transphobic, which would of course be biphobic (and is easily + immediately rebutted with the Bisexual Manifesto's trans-inclusive definition from the 1990s).

But... it seems plausible that both narratives could be partially true? That bisexuality is not inherently transphobic or binary and has always contained people who are inclusive and trans-friendly, and that some historical groups of exclusionary bi people could have created a social impetus to coin a new label that signalled trans inclusion?

The Bisexual Manifesto rocks, it's a really wonderful source! But it is one publication, by a small contingent of a huge population. I am sure there are contemporaneous sources where bisexuality was being defined in binary/exorsexist ways at that point and earlier. There were bisexual women who were part of exclusionary/TERF groups! Exclusion was not universal or intrinsic to bisexuality, but it did occur in some pockets.

It seems very fragile and unfair to our pansexual siblings to construct a perfect and unified bisexuality, where any attempt to push back or investigate our shared history with a critical eye is inherently biphobic and ahistorical

[meatcarnival3000]

unrelated but . ok i literally could not care less abt kris's agab or if they lean slightly more towards one binary gender or if theyre 100% androgynous all the time but like. can we stop harassing random transfems and coming onto their posts like errrmmmm.... kris Cannot be transfem☝️ they are nonbinary . as if those are completely distinct categories. as if a transfem cannot use exclusively they/them pronouns. and be androgenous and not really consider themselves a woman, but maybe find comfort and community in transfemininity. like ive seen several posts recent abt kris binding (which, like, is fine on its own. i, again, do not care) but god forbid a transfem see herself in this character or make headcanons abt them based on her own life

[prince-liest]

How did you figure out you're aromantic?

Oh, god, what a short question for such a long process, hahaha. First off, didn't figure it out until recently, age 27, but here was the approximate (and very truncated in the amount of internal conflict and introspection involved) step-by-step process:

Figured out I was queer in high school because I felt the same way about women as I did about men! Spent about 5 years thinking I was bisexual.

Figured out that I'm not actually attracted to men when I read a post describing the experience of compulsory heterosexuality and related with it intensely, which was a very freeing experience. Spent 6 years thinking I was a (nonbinary) lesbian!

Hooked up at parties a couple of times out of curiosity and then took up my best friend's offer to fuck and realized that I got the same amount of skin-crawling distaste about that as I did about sexual contact with men, thus realizing I was ace.

Let that domino tip over into the, "Actually, identifying as gay has for a long time given me the same anxiety as I used to feel when I thought I'd have to date a man, and also I'm 27 years old and have never, ever actually wanted to date another human being. When people ask me what my ideal partner is like, I start listing off ways in which they should not bother me or demand my time or be part of my life. Maybe I just don't want... anyone." domino, and the subsequent "I'M FREE!! (from trying to date women)" euphoria was identical to the "I'M FREE!! (from trying to date men)" euphoria, so.

That's where I'm at!

I'm a generally introspective person, but I'm also really great at gaslighting myself into ignoring my own discomfort, so largely it's been, haha, a diagnosis of exclusion. First I excluded men, then the discomfort with women grew large enough that I was able to exclude them as well. Reading about other people's experiences and realizing where they paralleled my own was immensely helpful! So was being close friends with a very poly person who slowly and fully unintentionally changed my perspective on how I view relationships in a very poly-and-relationship-anarchy-as-default way, which incidentally is extremely compatible with aroace queerplatonic ideals and definitely softened me up to be ready to accept that particular realization.

Also, please let this be a sign that just because you identify with one "thing" doesn't mean that you're committing to it forever! <3

[windwardstar]

had my three year check in for hrt today. was misgendered by the nurse. she didn't even pause. didn't even think to ask my pronouns. this is what happens every time i go anywhere. even when i'm at the doctor specifically to discuss being trans and gender affirming care. three years of hormones and just as many surgeries and it's still an impossible task to get people to even recognize that maybe they should ask my pronouns and not just assume them. the social dysphoria is a weight that grinds me down beneath it.

but i've also become so much more comfortable within my own body. the physical dysphoria is greatly reduced and when I can forget how the rest of the world perceives me, I can inhabit my body and feel right within it. where I can see the changes that I wanted and find euphoria and peace, where the shape of my external self is coming into alignment with the internal. and my daily existence now is just unburdened by the dysphoria and suffering I endured before I was able to begin my medical transition.

i know there's so much anxiety for young people to worry about it being too late to transition. that it wont work as well. and the reassurances that it's never too late, and that people who transition can "pass" regardless of what age they start, is good and very true. but it's not the only counter to this all-or-nothing mentality and the idea that transitioning is only worth if it you can pass and go stealth.

maybe you won't ever "pass" or be automatically gendered correctly by strangers. that doesn't mean transitioning can't or won't be worth it, that the ways you can change your body to alleviate your physical dysphoria aren't worth it. because they can be. every weight that can be taken from you reduces the burden you bear. there is so much joy to be found in transitioning and becoming more yourself, a well of peace so deep you do not yet know how much you can draw from it. and I cannot stress enough how much being able to be comfortable within your own skin is worth.