#assume this wierdo has no friends

[makifishcake]

Chapter 1 of my KuboSai Fic That's Been Sitting in my WIPs Since the Beginning of Time:

'What's so wrong with having a crush?' Is what Kusuo wanted to say, but in reality, there was a big problem with having a crush. It has been proved by scientists and Kusuo himself that liking someone romantically leads to irrational actions and thoughts, and ultimately leads to disappointment, because crushes don't last. Past experiences- Yumehara, Aiura and Teruhashi- are prime examples of crushes that failed horribly. Kusuo sighed at the thought. Good grief, he knew this information and what it would indefinitely lead to, so why did he still stand at the entrance of PK Academy with a Jump Magazine, peach tea, and music that a certain someone took a liking to? It was stupid for Kusuo to even assume that Satou Hiroshi(forgettable name, right?) would even think of interacting with him after he'd displayed such strange behavior.

Kusuo knew that he looked wierd in Satou's mind, but was still disappointed when he walked past him(not after taking notice of his belongings which were eerily accurate to his likings), brushing him off as a wierdo. 'Why would he drink peach tea, of all things, here? That's kind of wierd...' Hiroshi thought. Saiki frowned ever-so-slightly. This did not stop Saiki from following the insanely average boy down the road to his house. Every move Satou made, every thought he possessed, every little smile, step, and wave he enacted made Saiki so innately curious. He couldn't deny he had some kind of attachment to Satou, despite having never spoken to him directly.

This, apparently, had shown through his features the next day, when he was watching Satou from the door of his classroom, as Toritsuka had commented on his unusual behavior, "Hey, Saiki, who are you spying on, today? I need to ask a favor of you," Saiki shot him a glare, and sent a telepathic sentence to his brain, saying, 'What do you want.' Toritsuka huffed and crossed his arms. "Why so rude, Saiki? Unless..." Saiki cut him off before his mind could wander. Saiki pointed to Satou, who sat in his seat with a book in hand. "Huh? Who are you pointing to? Satou? You mean that guy by the lockers?" Saiki shook his head. 'He's the one with the book,' Saiki sent the words to Toritsuka's tiny, filthy brain.

"Ah! So that's Satou," Toritsuka commented. Then, two other guys walked over to Satou's seat. One was chubby while the other was skinny, which made Saiki smile. He even has two average friends! Just like the stereotypical Hollywood movie friend trio. Kusuo almost burst with joy when the three boys greeted each other and conversed about their breakfast(such an average topic!). Kusuo heard sniggering to his left and glared at Toritsuka. 'Oh, he's down bad!' He heard the sentence appear in the perv's mind, and his face darkened. Toritsuka's joking manner quickly shifted to defense when Kusuo shot him the death glare. He laughed, shakily, and rubbed the back of his head. Kusuo turned back around to watch Hiroshi and his friends, thinking that nothing could possible disrupt their normalcy, and if right on cue, Toritsuka decides to test Kusio's patience.

The Purple-Haired 'psychic' slams his hand down on Hiroshi's desk, and Kusuo notes the startled look on his face with detestment towards the culprit. "Hey, Satou Hiroshi, right?" Hiroshi nods, and a sly grin spreads across Toritsuka's face. "Y-yes. Who are you?" Hiroshi stutters. It didn't surprise Kusuo in the least that Hiroshi had been frightened by Toritsuka's demeanor. Toritsuka, after all, was a menace to society. Knowing this, that Toritsuka was up to no good, Kusuo just stood there, watching as Toritsuka asked Hiroshi an inappropriate question, earning an uncomfortable look and response. Hiroshi laughed shakily, and Toritsuka walked off towards Kusuo. "You hear that, Saiki?" Toritsuka smirks, and unfortunately, Kusuo is confused as to why. "He likes girls openly, but we don't know his true feelings! Well, I don't know his true feelings. But you do! Don't you?" Toritsuka was really getting onto Kusuo's nerves, now. "You can see his deepest darkest thoughts, but I'll still tail him for you!" 'Then I'll owe you.' Kusuo snipes back. Toritsuka's smirk droops. "Damn, already caught on." He says. Kusuo shrugs, 'I am a telepath.' "Then you already know why I wanted to talk to you, earlier, too." Toritsuka whines. He sounded idiotic even asking the question. Kusuo nodded. "Then will you-" And with that, Kusuo walked back to class, Toritsuka screaming in protest.

It was all Kusuo could think about, that Hiroshi Satou. It made Kusuo wonder, he know he has no interest in me, but it would hurt to give it a shot at confessing, would it? No, that was stupid. Hiroshi is straighter than a ruler. Kusuo sighed. This was going to be harder than he had thought.

'Hm. Saiki seems pretty out of it. I wonder what He's thinking about.'

Saiki heard the thought and stiffened. He recognized the voice and took a look around. He found a certain purple-haired delinquent eying him from across the classroom. They caught eye contact and Kuboyasu Aren looked away.

'Shit, did he catch me staring? That's embarrassing...'

Yeah, it was. Why do you care what I'm thinking about, nosy?

'Wait, could he have...?'

If there was one thing Kusuo hated, more than social outings, it was unfinished thoughts. What could Kuboyasu mean by that? What if Kusuo had a what?

'No, not that guy. I'm sure he has no interest in anyone. Doesn't he?'

Oh. So that's what it was. Kusuo couldn't deny it, but he would be mad at himself if he fed into Kuboyasu's imagination as to who he could possibly have any interest in. Kusuo fought the urge to sigh a good grief. He counted the seconds until the bell rang for the day to end. 3... 2... 1...

Every student clambered out the door, well, almost every student. Kaidou, Nendou and Kuboyasu were grouped up around Kusuo, asking various questions and ultimately annoying Kusuo. He felt affection toward the three, but that didn't excuse their idiocy. "Hey, pal, wanna get ramen? I know a good joint around that café you like," Nendou blabbed. "We always get ramen, you meat-head! Why can't we go somewhere else!?" Kaidou argued. Kuboyasu... stayed quiet. It left Kusuo wondering. His thoughts betrayed nothing about his change in behavior. But, nevermind that. Kusuo had other things to worry about, like how he was going to confess to Hiroshi.

"Damn, I can't believe you convinced me to go," Kaidou complained. Well, he had abliged after about 20 minutes of arguing. If Kusuo didn't know any better, he'd think Kaidou and Nendou were best friends. "Haha, I'm a master convincer!" Hey, Nendou, when did you expand your vocabulary? That's a pretty big word, coming from you. Kaidou and Nendou sniped at each other for a while while Kusuo contemplated and went over his plan. He would slip a blank piece of paper into Hiroshi's desk during his lunch, invisible. If anyone saw him commit the act, he would play it off as... No, that wouldn't work. He couldn't play it off as just giving Hiroshi some extra loose-leaf paper if he already had paper in his desk. Kusuo sighed quietly. What was he going to do? And damn, were Kaidou and Nendou loud. He wanted to get away.

Kusuo sat on his bed with his germanium ring on. It'd been a while since he'd last used it. He had retrieved it after it fell into the saisen box. Kusuo needed the quiet if he wanted to focus. So far, he'd come up with two ways to subtly invite Hiroshi to the park. One, he'd apport a paper from inside Hiroshi's desk with a blank piece and wait until lunch, where he'd take it back and place it inside the desk. If someone saw him, hed play it off as "I found the paper in the hall and I'm taking it back". He'd then get his invitation ready and switch it for the blank piece. Two, he'd make himself invisible and take the invitation to Hiroshi's desk personally.

Kusuo decided on the first option. #2 was too risky. What if Toritsuka saw him or someone bumped into him, or if someone saw the floating invitation he was carrying? He couldn't bear to think of the consequences. It was already rare to see him even try to enter a relationship. He wasn't going to lose before he started. Kusuo was going to get the invite to Hiroshi. He was going to confess to Hiroshi, even if he didn't return his feelings. Kusuo grimaced at the thought of how he would feel if Hiroshi rejected him. He couldn't even begin to think of what might happen. A breakdown in the middle of the park? Tears? The whole entire world might blow up because of the stressed fit he'd have? In the living room, a certain Kuniharu shuddered, a bad feeling washing over him. He wondered what Kusuo was up to...

The plan went well. Everything went over smoothly, and Kusuo wasn't caught. It was an hour until he was supposed to meet up with Hiroshi. It was 15 minutes until the bell rang. It was only 15 minutes, but it felt like hours. People clambered around him, their voices rang loudly in his ears. It irritated Kusuo how time seemed to move so much slower when you were excited. Well, nervous-excited. He was almost shaking, but he couldn't tell why. Was he shaking with anger? Estaticity? Nervousness? Good grief, maybe he'd never know. Anyway, it was now 5 minutes and everyone was packing up. Zippers, rustling, crumpling, so many sounds. His leg bounced from under his desk. 4 minutes. Kusuo sighed.

Kusuo walked to the park. He wore his best cardigan, a light brown one, on top of a white blouse, with some light, loose-fitting jeans. Kusuo fretted, picking at the small balls of lint on his cotton cardigan, wondering whether he had dressed up too nice. He was panicking, but he was also listening in to all the thoughts of the people surrounding him, listening for any nuisances.

It was autumn. The grass and leaves were a dull brown, and they crunched beneath Kusuo's feet when he walked. So many people were down because of how dreary the park seemed, according to his analyzation of their thoughts. Kusuo, however, quite liked autumn and it's muted colors. It wasn't the most colorless season, and it wasn't incredibly vibrant. It was the vortex between colorful and colorless, the most average season, and Kusuo loved it. He sat down on a wooden bench, his eyes running over the engraved decals in the wood. Kusuo peeled his eyes off it after he heard the thoughts of Hiroshi approaching. He looked at his watch. Hiroshi had arrived right on the dot. Not late, not early, and not standing out in any way.

Kusuo had signed the invitation with his last name and first initial, so Hiroshi knew who had invited him to the park. "Hey, Saiki, right?" Hiroshi said as he ran up to Kusuo. He nodded. "Well, I'm here. What did you want to tell me?" Kusuo thought for a moment. No, he couldn't chicken out, not now. His hand twitched.

'Hiroshi Satou...'

Kusuo started, the words ringing in Hiroshi's head, only for him to hear. Hiroshi raised an eyebrow in question.

'Hiroshi, I like you. I hope you'll return my feelings.'

END CHPT 1

Y'all you don't know how long this has been sitting. I've been working on this for so long oml

[curlyhairednerd]

Franky built the house and Robin decorated it. It was how they spent their honeymoon, building their forever home.

As for the fifty years thing, I don’t think that happened. If I remember correctly they were back at their house that same day. So Franky and Robin “woke up” and then went about their day to day life until Franky tried to leave to go to work.

Then his brother Iceberg showed up a few hours later, worried about them because Franky doesn’t usually miss work and called 911. That made them realize they were dead.

And because Robin has always been morbid, she is at least content that she’ll have plenty of time to read every book in her library. And she ended up with enough years that she’s finished them all by the time the house is finally bought and new people move in.

And yes on Buggy and Rosè’s relationship! Buggy always knew he was Rosè’s godparent and Circè wanted him to take care of his niece if something happened, but he was never actually prepared for that, especially since a mix up meant Rosè was mistakingly assumed dead. (Lucci was not legally supposed to have Rosè and he knew that, but he didn’t care.)

Rosè does not like any of this. She doesn’t like this “Uncle Buggy” as he wants to be called, and she doesn’t like his two wierdo friends who come over and may or may not flirt with him when they do. And then there’s his weird menagerie of friends who wouldn’t look out of place in a circus and Mohji’s cat Richie scratches her up all the time! She’s a dog person! But at least the next door neighbor girl is cute and nice…

She finds the library completely by accident one day, while trying to avoid the noise of Buggy fixing up the house.

@charkyzombicorn, had an awesome idea! Beetlejuice Au!

Rosè is Lydia. When she was a baby Circè died in a car wreck, and Rosè was placed into Rob Lucci’s care as his foster kid. Since Lucci is a dick, she got removed from his custody. Luckily by that time, her Uncle Buggy ended up friends with someone who might legitimately be a crime boss, and Crocodile helped hire Mihawk, a private investigator, to find Rosè.

Buggy and Rosè move into a new house together, only to find it’s haunted by ghosts, Franky and Robin.

I’m honestly thinking Luffy Beetlejuice but I’m not sure so I’m tagging you for your help

But also imagine Brook singing “What I Know Now” in the red beauty pageant dress.

[anamiableavocado]

"oF COuRSe I HavE REaL fRiEnDS"

Mirio is just jealous that he doesn't have a Mon-chan of his own

[cicadabooks]

a review of Haunted Castle on Hallows Eve (Magic Tree House book)

because some friends were waxing nostalgic for these books, and I never read them, and so I finally picked up a few of them.

looks promising? castles and stuff.

wait, didn’t these kids go learn about dinosaurs, but now there’s Merlin? Ok... we’re just going with it. (idk, The Time Warp Trio was MY jam back in the day.)

stuff happens, they meet someone who barks at them, but it’s a friend, also there’s Merlin for like a micro second, anyway they get to the castle

what

Wait, this is legit kind of scary and creepy. I don’t like this. Little kid me would have not liked it either. I was not expecting to be actually spooked.

....“safe from the bone” is a pretty good line.

anyway it turns out there’s a pretty easy explanation: there’s a ghost/invisible dog thing carrying the bone. Whew! we like to see some order and reason around here.

Moving on,

sick! they all turn into ravens! that’s what I’m talking about. Classic. also they fly around and do stuff as ravens.

(Animorphs was also my jam back in the day, why do you ask. I’m too scared to reread it now though.)

oh shit look who showed up. well at least the Raven King is polite.

Now I need to explain some context. And the context is: what image do you think of, reading this? Your immediate mental character design, based on the description?

Below is something like what assumed:

Real scraggity - maybe Howl’s Moving Castle movie version Howl (in bird mode) plus general scruffyness. This wierdo lives with, and resides, over some corvids.

Anyway,

below is what the illustrator, Sal Murdocca, slaps on the page.

who tf

pecs + armor muscle

what

I thought this character was a nerd who had a bird beak for a nose, what is this

I’ve been reading a book full of placid drawings of children wandering around and cute little ravens - where did this come from. Sal Murdocca letting loose I guess.

Anyway here’s another shot of the raven king

To wrap up the story, the protagonist kids save the day, the raven king turns into a baby raven (!?), the ghost dog turns back into a real dog, etc etc.

The children walk through Ye Olde Town

frankly the two kids look kinda bored here. Like they’re trying to be politely excited. 30 books in, they’ve seen it all.

The two children go back to their own time, it’s halloween,

oh my god, the protagonist kids aren’t even trying. I know the gag is that they are now not scared of pretend costumes, after their adventures - but these kids look seriously jaded. Meanwhile, take a study of these fellow childrens’ costumes. They’re actually pretty well crafted. Like, effort / money went into those. Also because Sal Murdocca once again went a lil wild and drew the hell out of that hairy eye ball. Anyway, these kids could at least pretend to be a little scared, even if they are jaded adventures, just for the other kids’ sake. Right now they look like they’re giving the royal wave to passerbyers.

Final notes: Although I came upon these books years too late, I could see younger kid me maybe getting into this book in particular. I did already have Animorphs, The Time Warp Trio, and also Camp Haunted Hills (esp book 3 with the time travel) - maybe my taste was a little more out there / different than what the Magic Tree House books offered?

Bonus: Also, I saw that the current edition of this book has this cover -

which tbh is probably savvier from a marketing perspective. “slap that sal murdocca version raven king on the cover STAT,” I can see the marketing team saying. Personally, I’m still glad I went in not knowing anything and having my wtf moment when I saw the illustration reveal of the raven king.

(Also, for some reason, the marketing team/whoever deciding - “and UP the muscles even more on the raven king on the cover.” Because... these book are ‘More challenging adventures for experienced readers, ages 7-10’ (from the publisher site) and that’s what we do?)

Also small nitpick but I read the chain mail as more silvery (in sal murdocca’s pencil drawings), not the sameish charcoal black as the raven kind’s skin color. (Also sal murdocca‘s illustration was better tbh, I’m assuming someone else maybe illustrated this cover. idk who, because I started looking around the website and both illustrators involved in this series have chops, so idk who did this cover)

Also, wait, is the brother pushing his little sister towards the raven king? There’s a lot happening in this cover.

[archergwenwrites]

ZM - Feb 9 - Partners in Crime

Or, The One With(Out) A Supervillain Part 0.5

A/N: This is a prequel/set-up to my fic “The One With(Out) A Supervillain,” a superhero love-square I’m going to get around to one of these days. So Zuko and Katara are not the Partners In Crime in this one, but later in the full fic they will be. Zuko does still have a partner in shenanigans, though...

The terms are clear, laid out after the lawyers his father retains and the brave ones Uncle scraped up from somewhere return from the room off the judge’s office. Zuko can exist unmolested in any area not currently claimed by the Sozin syndicate. Should the borders move, his father will be responsible for the financial burden of Zuko moving within a reasonable timeframe as determined by local tenant laws. Should Zuko come to harm at syndicate hands while outside their turf or due to the border moving before he could, Ozai will be responsible for making his son whole in the eyes of the law. 

Even at thirteen with bandages wrapped around half his face, he had not missed the smirk on his father’s face. 

The law can’t un-scar burnt flesh. 

Uncle had ensured Zuko finished school – homeschooled of course – and convinced him to go off to college for a time. 

Now he was back, in the city that had spat him out. No hard feelings though. Uncle had offered him a small condo in his building, knowing Ozai would not dare to set off the brother who’d stepped aside to mourn a son, not when Iroh’s contacts and history with the syndicate ran deeper and old men still murmured over whiskey how it was a shame Azulon’s brightest boy was forced out by grief and an ambitious brother. 

No amount of profit can erase the thought that grass might be greener elsewhere. 

Zuko pushed open the café door. He recognized the man behind the counter, one of his fellow classmates from university, a fellow engineering student with a knack for improvisation he wanted to ask advice of before he built a prototype. The court-ordered restitution had – under Uncle’s watchful eye – grown to be enough for all the parts he might need. 

“Sokka!” he called, lifting a hand. The Water Tribesman turned, smiled to see him, and lifted a hand in a reply greeting. 

Anything he might have said was cut off, however, by a different mass of brown and blue inserting herself right in front of him. She wielded a tray of drinks like it could be deadly in her capable hands and glared at him with the same eyes he’d made laugh in Sokka’s face. 

“Ah, um, hi. You must be Katara. Sokka’s told me a lot-” 

She shifted the tray – glasses and bowls clinking – and on instinct he froze. “What are you doing here?” 

“I… um-” 

Sokka, a knight in coffee shop aprons, threw one arm around Zuko’s shoulder and one arm around Katara’s free one – skillfully avoiding the dish tray. “Well, what an occasion! My little sister and my college buddy – meeting at last! Katara, this is Lee. Lee, Katara.” 

Katara’s head whipped to look at her brother. “This is Lee? You didn’t tell me he was-” 

She broke off with a long glance at him. Zuko could not for the life of him decipher that look. It seemed too wanting to be negative, but it also seemed like she wanted to tear him to shreds. After a second or perhaps a minute, Katara rolled her shoulders back and looked him dead in the eye. 

“I’m glad to meet one of my brother’s friends, no matter who they or their family are.” She paused. “Welcome to our café. Do try the white lotus tea.” 

With that, she whisked the tray silently away. 

Sokka turned to him, voice low so as not to carry far in the café as it returned to a casual murmur, “Seriously dude, what are you doing on this side of town?” 

“Am I really only allowed in basically three city blocks?” 

“No, but,” Sokka sighed. “Katara has not processed her grief at all. She still kinda blames all firebenders.” 

“It’s been how many years?” 

“Each in their own time, buddy. Not all of us have the budget for excellent, too-secure-for-the-mob-to-hurt therapists because our daddy shoved our face full of fire.” 

Zuko just gave his best friend a dry glare. “So do you want to hear about why I came in, or do you want to keep psychoanalyzing everyone’s trauma?” 

“If I wasn’t a tinkerer, I’d be an amazing therapist and you know it,” Sokka retorted, moving towards a table. 

“I thought you were a barista.” 

“You wound me!” 

Zuko tossed his backpack on a chair, pulling out a bunch of rolled papers. “You like it, you wierdo.” 

“What Suki and I get up to is none of your business.” 

Sokka was rewarded with about roughly a dozen quick thwaps in rapid succession with the paper tubes on his head and shoulders. “Gross, gross, gross. We will never discuss this again.” 

* 

Katara wiped the counter without taking her eyes off the boys at their table. She was so mad at her brother for concealing both that his college buddy was Zuko motherhecking Sozin, and that he was hot. She was also mad at herself, because Sokka hadn’t concealed how wonderful and broken his friend was – shy and determined to help people, a disappeared mom, abusive dad, cuddly uncle who was his only family and anchor – she’d wanted to scoop him up into their family and protect him, without somehow putting together Sokka’s stories with all the news articles, and also without realizing what that would do the concentration of hooligans around her. 

She poured the dirty water into the appropriate bucket and turned back to face them. Hands on her hips, she gave her best impression of Gran-Gran as she cleared her throat at the boys dueling with Zuko’s paper as their fencing foils, who had half the other patrons concerned for their personal space and the other half smiling. 

Sokka, well-attuned to such a cough from living with Gran-Gran, lowered his “sword” and turned to look at her. This meant that Zuko - who had no similar instincts apparently – thrust his “sword” right into the center of Sokka’s back. The paper crumpled instantly, Sokka jumped about half a foot in the air, and Zuko reacted in horror, trying to flatten the paper back out. “Shit, shit, I needed that one!” 

She couldn’t help herself. She laughed, more than she had in weeks since she started her newest evening project. “Maybe you should take this to the break room, Sokka?” 

Her brother looked up from trying to de-crease some sort of blueprint. “Genius. You’re the best, Katara.” He grabbed Zuko’s backpack, and led the other boy in the charge back behind the counter. She tried to smile warmly at both him and Zuko as they rushed past. 

One of the concerned patrons, a petite Earth Kingdom woman, came to the counter for another pot of tea and also ask, “Was that, did your brother just run off with a Sozin?” 

Katara tilted her head to the side, a perfect picture of confusion. “What would we be doing inviting a Sozin into our café?” 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume. You’re right. You just seemed so confrontational at first.” 

“Well, have you ever learned your brother has cute friends he hasn’t introduced you to?” Katara asked, pouring the hot water into a clean tea pot, the bending to stop even a single drop from spilling the one bit of bending she allowed herself in public. 

“He is cute, isn’t he? Your brother, too.” 

Katara chuckled. “Half price on the tea if you promise never to tell him?” 

“Isn’t it already half off for being a refill?” 

“You see the genius of my plan, then.” The customer chuckled and paid, leaving Katara to breathe a discreet sigh of relief. Honestly, she was keeping too many secrets these days, even if for good reasons. 

Moonrise could not come soon enough.

[chasholidays]

Hi! I'd really love a Bellarke AU set in the 'verse of The Adventure Zone (and it can be completely up to you if they're involved w the main plot or regular agents of the Bureau of Balance) -- I love your writing, thank you so much !!

Bellamy doesn’t really know how he ends up with a job at Fantasy Costco.

There is, for certain, some kind of interview process. The experience of it exists in his mind, but hazy, as if it happened in a dream. In all honesty, he would believe it really did happen in a dream, if anyone told him that. It seems more plausible that Garfield the Deals Warlock comes to people in their sleep and asks if they want to work for him than it does that he advertises in the paper or something.

Regardless of how he ends up there, Bellamy does, for the most part, like his job. It’s retail, but there are fewer customers than at his previous jobs, and the customers aren’t nicer, but he at least develops more personal relationships with them. And, of course, his boss is a giant wierdo, but, again, that’s fairly standard for retail.

And, of course, he’s on the moon, which puts him in a good position to, perhaps, find a better, cooler job.

Which is why he asks Clarke, about two months into his employment, “How would I get a job at the Bureau?”

Clarke is a fairly low-level Bureau of Balance employee, something like his equivalent, in her own organization. It’s just that being a low-level employee at the Bureau of Balance involves going out into the world and finding dangerous artifacts to help save the world, and being a low-level employee at Fantasy Costco involves cleaning up vomit in the aisles. Which he assumed there wouldn’t be much of, because all of their customers are professional adults, but apparently that’s not as much of a help as he hoped it would be.

So, again, a new job might be nice.

“I ran into a Grand Relic and didn’t die,” she says. “I think it’s company policy to hire anyone who does that. Why?”

“I wouldn’t mind a change in careers,” he admits, and immediately looks around to see if Garfield is going to appear out of nowhere and murder him for disloyalty. Which is another reason he wants to leave. He actually is disloyal, and Garfield actually is terrifying. “I already drank the Voidfish juice, and that’s half the battle, right?”

She smiles. “I guess. I think interacting with a relic is a lot more of the battle.”

“And you do that?”

“As little as possible. I just do research.”

“I could do research,” he says. “I could probably interact with relics.”

She looks amused, and he knows exactly why. He doesn’t know a ton about Bureau business, but he hears stories. He knows how many Bureau employees have gone rogue, how many faces he doesn’t see anymore because relics have tempted them.

That might be the real reason he wants out of here. He doesn’t want to wait around for one of the people he likes to go missing or go evil while he’s restocking artifacts.

“What makes you think that?” she asks. “Not saying you’re wrong,” she adds. “Just curious.”

“I interact with a lot of weird shit,” he points out, which is not actually untrue. “I know relics are on another level, but that’s why I’m asking about training. I could get better at it.”

“You really want to do that?”

“Is there a reason you think I shouldn’t?”

She shrugs, but it’s not convincing as a casual motion, and something like lead settles in the pit of his stomach. She doesn’t want him to do this. It doesn’t mean he can’t, but he sort of assumed she’d be supportive.

“I figured Fantasy Costco wasn’t a bad gig, but now that I’m thinking about it, I’m not surprised you want out. You’re one of the only employees other than Garfield I’ve ever seen more than once.”

“Yeah, that’s the other thing. We’re losing employees and never getting them back, so I’m worried there’s some kind of arcane portal in the back where Garfield’s sacrificing people or something. Feels like the kind of job I should get out of before they want me gone.”

“Better to quit than to be sacrificed to the arcane portal in the back, yeah.” She worries her lip, but her expression is steady, and he can’t make up his mind what the problem is. “You might as well ask the director. I don’t know how they hire for any other positions, but like you said, you drank the Voidfish juice, you already live here, I don’t see why the Bureau wouldn’t want you.”

“That’s what I was thinking.” He finishes his beer and waves at Gina for another. “But you think I shouldn’t,” he adds. It’s obviously true, and he might as well get the most information possible.

“I didn’t say that,” she protests. “Just–it’s dangerous. You know that, right?”

“It’s all dangerous,” he says. “And you do it.”

“Maybe we should both quit. Start a new business in Faerun.”

There’s levity in her voice, but like everything else she’s said, it doesn’t quite land, and he takes a second to consider her. She’s always tired, but it seems worse than normal tonight, and she’s gotten more and more weighed down as they’ve been talking.

“You want to?” he asks.

“No, not really. Just a bad day.”

“You could have told me.”

Her smile feels a little stronger this time. “I would have eventually. I was just–decompressing.”

“So this was the wrong day to ask about quitting my job and coming over to yours, huh?”

That makes her actually laugh, soft but real. “It’s not that I don’t want you around. But it’s nice to have someone who feels–safe.”

“If I was in the Bureau, we could keep each other safe,” he points out. “A lot better than you can keep me safe if Garfield goes rogue.”

“That’s true. I think you should do it,” she adds. “Just–be careful, okay?”

“I haven’t even gotten a job yet.”

“Be careful all the time with everything,” she says, and he smiles.

“Always am. So, tell me about your bad day,” he says, and it never gets to the point where he feels like he gets it. But by the end of the night, she’s relaxed again, smiling and easy, and when they say goodbye, she thanks him.

“You should talk to the director,” she adds. “It would be nice to have you around more.”

“I will,” he promises. “Get some rest, Clarke. I hope tomorrow goes better.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

*

Miller hits Fantasy Costco the next day, which means Bellamy not only has a chance to get a second opinion on his potential career change, but can try to figure out what exactly is wrong with Clarke.

“How’s life at the Bureau?” he asks. He’s ostensibly showing Miller the new arrivals, but that’s mostly so that Garfield won’t think they’re not busy. As a regulator, Miller’s away from headquarters more than Clarke, and he and Bellamy have to be a little more creative in their hanging out.

“Fucking bad week,” he says.

“Yeah?”

“One of the seekers went rogue.”

“Shit. No wonder Clarke was in such a shitty mood.” Something occurs to him. “You weren’t with him, were you?”

“No. Seekers work alone. Regulators monitor reclaimers, when we do it.”

“Seems kind of stupid, if seekers are going rogue.”

“They’re supposed to be able to deal with–”

He and Miller both realize what he said at the same time and wince, but it’s too late to change it. Garfield appears out of nowhere, his usual leer in place, directed at Miller. “Did someone say deal?” he asks, and Bellamy flees.

It stays with him for the rest of the day, though. It’s not just that seekers are, apparently, going rogue, which he used to primarily associate with reclaimers and regulators, it’s that they’re considered to not need help. Almost everyone in the Bureau has teams, but seekers do their work alone, on behalf of distant allies.

Once his shift ends, he goes to the Bureau and asks to meet with the director, and to his surprise, she agrees.

“From Fantasy Costco, yes?” she asks, surveying him with mild curiosity. “How may I help you?”

“I want to partner with Clarke Griffin,” he says. “As a seeker.”

“I see. Seekers don’t have partners, usually.”

“Yeah, that seems weird to me. They’re in danger, the same as everyone else. Apparently you had someone go rogue yesterday–” She winces, and he presses the advantage. “I assume you don’t want the same thing to happen to Clarke. I don’t either.”

That gets her attention in a new way, and she looks him over again, as if she’s seeing him for the first time. “So, you want to protect your friend.”

“I want to help,” he says. “I know whatever you’re doing here is hard and important, and I’d rather be doing it than stocking fantasy utili-kilts in bulk.”

“When you put it like that, the logic is inescapable,” says the director, dry. “Have you talked to the other interested parties?” At his blank look, she sighs. “Clarke and Garfield the Deals Warlock.”

“Is that an official part of his name?”

“No one knows and everyone is afraid to ask. Feel free to update me if you find out. Assuming there are no objections from anyone else, I have none.”

“That’s it?” he asks, wary. “That’s your entire application process?”

“I do review all hires on the moon. If you weren’t Bureau material, you wouldn’t be working at Fantasy Costco.”

“So you’re saying Garfield the Deals Warlock is Bureau material?”

There’s a brief pause while she considers this, and then she recovers. “Okay, good talk, keep me posted.”

Bellamy just grins. “Yeah, good talk.”

*

He’s been to Clarke’s room once before, when the two of them got too drunk and she decided he couldn’t be trusted to make his way back to his own place. So, even though he was, again, very drunk, he finds his way back there once he’s done with the director without too much trouble.

Clarke opens the door looking a little frazzled, softer than he’s used to, with her hair in soft waves. She’s wearing pajamas, even though it’s not that late, and he has to smile.

“Hi.”

“Hi. What are you doing here?”

“Coming to see you, obviously. I asked the director if you could have a partner.”

She frowns. “You want to be my partner?”

It’s tempting to try to deflect the question, to tell her that’s not it, but it is the heart of it, isn’t it? It would be stupid to lie about it.

“Yeah. I didn’t know what I’d do, but–I don’t know why seekers don’t have people looking out for them. It seems like that would be useful.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t know if you know this, but I worry about you. When you’re off the base. I’d feel better if I knew someone was looking out for you. If I was looking out for you. But if you don’t want–”

Her laughter is soft. “Do you know why I didn’t want you to join up?”

“Because you were having a shitty day and you were in a shitty mood?”

“Close. I liked not having to worry about you. And I liked knowing you were here when I got back. I didn’t want you to be off on Faerun when I was gone. It would have sucked.”

Bellamy takes a step closer, and Clarke raises her hands to tug him down by the front of his shirt, the kiss warm and perfect, except for the way he can’t stop smiling.

“So you do want a partner,” he murmurs.

“A partner sounds perfect.”

“Great, because I need backup, like, tomorrow.”

“Backup for what?”

“I have to quit my old job.”

She laughs against his neck. “Don’t tell me you’re scared of Garfield the Deals Warlock.”

“Don’t tell me you’re not.”

“I definitely am.” She pulls him down for another kiss. “But we’re a team now, right?”

“As soon as I quit, yeah.”

She tugs him toward the bed. “Great. Let’s do that tomorrow.”

He grins. ’“Tomorrow sounds perfect.”

*

“You’re quitting?” Garfield asks. He honestly sounds more confused than hurt, which is honestly a huge relief. “But why? Fantasy Costco is where dreams come to come true! Where will you go?”

He glances over his shoulder at Clarke. “I think my dream actually did come true. So I’m going to go to the Bureau and find a new one.”

“How touching. I will need some of your blood before you leave.”

It probably says bad things about him that this strikes him as relatively benign, as requests go. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Okay, well, uh–thanks for the job. It was really–something.”

“Good luck on your next adventure. I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.’

It sounds vaguely like a threat, but there’s nothing to say but, "Thanks. Looking forward to it.”

Because, really. He can’t wait.

[louisewahlander]

Journal 1996

JANUARY 22 1996 – Deramore Ave Belfast I hate this house&#33 It is me, Eamonn and this 40 year old man here and i feel so out of place, and the house is plain disgusting&#33… It’s dirty, we have no shower but a bathtub with no plug in it, so one has to be an acrobat to bend down and wash oneself under the two taps, ofcourse there has to be two taps, one ice cold and the other one burning hot… My room is small, and brown-ish looking and i have no lock on my door which i demand&#33 I want out and i am going…i just need to find a new place, or a room atleast. JANUARY 23 1996 – Andersonstown Belfast Hah, i’ve moved, well sort of��� Liz told me there was a vacant room where she’s renting so i asked if i could move in and yes i could&#33 I have my things here and all, but i haven’t told Eamonn yet, and i don’t know how to tell him either…&#34I took out the trash and oh by the way your house is filthy and i’m moving out&#34…ha ha ha. Oh well… The rent is only £25 a week here including everything so it’s alot cheaper than Deramore Ave, and it’s clean and we have a shower and a working bathtub…and a washingmachine and everything one can dream of, and it's right on the Anditown Road too, so the taxis are just outside the door. How convenient&#33 JANUARY 24 1996 – Andersonstown Belfast Oh dear, we went out to Stormont to have a look (don’t ask why) and the whole place was covered in…something…apparantly there’d been a fire there, so we didn’t get to see anything, ha ha ha, not that i cared for i sat in the back of the van anyway just hating the moment… JANUARY 26 1996 – Some hostel in Derry £7.70 for a return ticket by Ulster Bus…and that’s with the ISIC card&#33 Damn expensive if you ask me. This hostel is full of wierdos, atleast on our floor, there’s this old man who won’t let us keep food in the fridge, nor watch tv, just because he’s a regular &#34tennant&#34 and we’re not… He walks in the hallway up and down yelling at us as soon as we appear… Quite amusing&#33 By accident we met a norweigan girl in some shop, she heard us talking and almost screamed &#34You’re swedish&#33 &#34 –although in norweigan… Went to the Guildhall to listen to Gerry Adams speak on the annual Bloody Sunday lecture, then we went to Abrakebabra… JANUARY 27 1996 –Same hostel in Derry Went to some workshops at the Pat Finucane Centre, and then some debate. It was really interesting actually&#33 Me and Liz walked around and around and around for no reason at all… JANUARY 28 1996 – Andersonstown Belfast Earlier today we went to watch and take pictures of the Bloody Sunday March. I’ve never seen so many people in a march before, not even as a kid when mom and dad dragged us kids out for the workers/social democratic party demonstrations on May 1 every year… I used up so many films, color, black and white and slide film… It’s gonna take me forever to develop and print&#33 &#33 Took the bus home to Belfast around 5.30pm and since we got home we’ve done nothing at all, just been lazy, with every right&#33 FEBRUARY 1 1996 – Belfast Exposed Belfast Been here all day, processing film and printing contacts and even some prints. Couldn’t be bothered to process the color film so i left them at some Kodak shop, they better not ruin them&#33 Lawrence is going to have a opening party for his new exhibition on 6 th of February and me and Liz are invited&#33 &#33 Oh and Gerry asked me and Liz if we’re girlfriends… And he said that they had been discussing me and Liz forever at BE, wondering whether or not we are lesbians…ha ha ha&#33 Silly people, just cuz we live together, eat together, do everything together 24 hours a day it doesn’t mean we’re girlfriends&#33 Ha ha ha… FEBRUARY 3 1996 – Anditown Belfast Just came home from Kellys Cellars… Me and Liz went to Belfast Exposed hoping that some of them would come along for drinks, and Gerry and Sean came… It was great, Sean bought me and Liz drinks all night, although Liz sticked with Coke, i dunno why she believes she’s gonna get as drunk as on that christmas party in Skinnskatteberg, when she drank cider and passed out in someones shower in the Smedjan-dorm, ha ha ha&#33 But i guess waking up with blood coming out from your ear is scary...(although maybe not as scary as when Asa slipped on that banana peel on the floor in my dorm a few weeks earlier at Jimmy’s party and fell to the ground with her chin first and hit it on a shoe shelf and her chin-stud got all crooked and it bleed alot and she had to go by ambulance to the hospital (cuz noone was able to drive her), and then they had no money to take a taxi back...he he he) Oh well…she sticked with the cola… Sean payed for our taxi home which was sweet. NOTE: 9 February – 15 March &#34 Freedom &#34 exhibition at Ormeau Baths Gallery FEBRUARY 13 1996 – Jaspers Cafe Belfast Me and Liz went to see these exhibitions at Catalyst Art and The Old Museum. Catalyst was okay, but the Old Museum was all crap&#33 Met John outside of Waterstones, he was holding a street exhibition of his photographs taken with a wide angle lens and a fisheye extension…impressive&#33 He’s so funny… Then we went to Magpie Studios to hang out with Justin and Mary, Owen-Joe was also there. Mary bugs me, i dunno, but she is so fake&#33 FEBRUARY 14 1996 Valentines Day – Andersonstown Belfast We went to Giants Causeway today…and i’m in love&#33 It’s soooo beautiful. When i die someone please scatter my ashes all over the causeway (if i decide to get cremated)&#33 Collected sea shells from the beach that i’m gonna keep forever (i still have them today on March 10 1999)… Oh, it was such a lovely day out&#33 I sat there on the rock formations for hours staring out at sea&#33 It’s valentines day and Hannes hasn’t called nor sent a card so i am pretty mad at him&#33 When i think about it he hasn’t called nor written much since i came here…grrrr…that boy is in big trouble&#33 FEBRUARY 15 1996 – Andersonstown Belfast Me and Liz WALKED all the way from Anditown to Botanic Gardens today… Why? all sane people may ask, and all i can say is…What do one do without money, when you just have to go to Botanic Gardens&#33…you walk, even if it takes approximately an hour and a half… The students at Queens were having somekind of Fee-demonstration… Later on we went up to Magpie Studios where Justin made me tea in one of those horribly dirty cups, ha ha…they are all brown inside…i did try to wash it but couldn’t, it is stained for life&#33 It was nice tea though&#33 And Justin was beeing sweet as always. After that we went to the art college where we talked to Justins girlfriend, who hate me for some reason…cuz me and Justin are very good friends???, and then went to the student union which was boring&#33 FEBRUARY 16 1996 – Andersonstown Belfast The people at the Shell gas station/Spar shop must think me and Liz are the most braindead people in the world&#33 Always when we shop there we use our 1p and 2p coins…and at the most 5p coins…we keep them in empty film tubs and we act like morons laughing and dropping things… Today one of the clerks asked us what we were on… Life&#33 i said and smiled as i handed him all my copper coins… Earlier we went to this exhibition on Greenore Street…i assume it was Alistairs house, or something…it was very empty… All the rooms but two were empty, one was the room where all the pieces were exhibited and the other a bedroom…and everything was pink, carpet, walls…but then again Alistair wears too short pink pants too…i guess he likes pink&#33 There was a party there aswell, but we didn’t stay as they closed the door on me and Liz…ha ha, i know who did it, Justin’s girlfriend&#33 She really doesn’t like me&#33 How can Justin stay with such a nasty girl, she’s evil and he’s not&#33 Me and Liz didn’t have much money but we had to take a taxi back into the city centre for we had no idea where we were, well sure Greenore Street, but where in Belfast is that…? Then we took a taxi from King Str to Anditown and the nastiest man was in the taxi with us…he gave me his address and told me to come live with him and when i said no, he got scary and started to tell me and Liz how he was gonna beat us up and do scary things to us… Eeek&#33 Then as i got out of the taxi he grabbed my arse and i turned around and punched him as i said Will you please remove your hand off my arse&#33 Creep&#33 When we got in Leanne called to say she was coming in to Belfast tomorrow. Yay&#33 FEBRUARY 17 1996 – Anditown Belfast Met Leanne today&#33 She’s the prettiest, nicest girl i know&#33 We walked around Belfast in the pissing rain and had so much fun&#33 FEBRUARY 18 1996 – Anditown Belfast Ha ha ha, me and Liz are pigs&#33 Went to Mc Donalds and had lunch…afterwards we were still hungry, but too embarrassed to go get more, so we went on to Burger King…he he he&#33 Went to Magpie Studios with Michael and watched some demonstration through the window… It rained all day… FEBRUARY 20 1996 – Anditown Belfast Me, Peter and Asa went to see Rocky Horror Show at the theatre today&#33 YAY&#33 Altho we had shitty seats, the one in the middle had a huge pillar infront of it, so we had to take turns to sit there, and we were almost laying ontop of eachother to see anything at all. Some old bags infront of us were annoyd with this Rocky fan who was all dressed up, screaming the lines, etc, just like it’s supposed to be, and they left half through the show, ha ha ha&#33 the journal continues but with pretty uneventful entries, so it’s no point in putting them up here…