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cursed-charms · 7 days ago

Note

you should draw Tomura playing with Mon :3 <3

...i got sidetracked and drew something else. still tomura with mon though....but not playing :(

pls forgive me

"For the last time,"

[Tomura gets one last chance to meet with someone from his past as Tenko for one final talk. He chooses to talk with Mon.]

(written continuation below the cut)

"...Hey there, Mon."

[Mon pounces on him eagerly, barking with glee.]

"Woah! Buddy, wait, hold on!"

[Mon doesn't stop licking his face off and it makes him laugh from how ticklish it feels.]

"Sheesh, do you just greet everyone like this now or is this just because you still recognize me?"

[Mon barks as if to answer, but Tomura doesn't know what it means. It doesn't matter, he's the one doing all the talking soon anyway.]

"Mhm, just going to guess that means you're happy. Well, I'm happy too."

[Mon lies flat on his back to ask for belly rubs from his favorite person, and of course Tomura gives them to him. Five fingers land on Mon's body, but this time nothing happens. No crumbling, no dusting - just like the good old times.]

"I'm sorry for what happened, Mon."

[Tomura watches as Mon simply closes his eyes to enjoy the belly rubs he was given - well, that was what he expected. Dogs don't really understand what humans say, no? Not to mention how Mon has that look in his eyes, where it's clear that there's not a single thought behind them. He lets out a soft chuckle, realizing he just chose to talk to a dog who's incapable of understanding what he felt and experienced that day.]

"...I wonder what you thought about that day. Hell, do you even remember?"

[Tomura stops rubbing Mon's belly, which causes Mon to stir and prop himself up again. He looks up at Tomura with that same thoughtless gaze, seemingly content with just existing in this moment with his favorite person.]

"...Maybe you don't need to remember. What's done is done. Remembering everything wouldn't change anything. At the end, we all end up here together."

[Tomura smooths down Mon's fur and prepares to stand up. With a soft smile, he gives Mon one final pat on the head before pointing to the far end of the space.]

"Go there now, Mon. Where the light shines the brightest, you can play fetch with Hana."

[Mon might not be as bright as other dogs, but he does recognize certain words. "Fetch" was one of them - his favorite game, after all. He bites at Tomura's pants, trying to tug him into the area he pointed.]

"I'm sorry again, Mon. I can't join you - I'm being punished just like before with dad. Dad's not the one punishing me this time though, which is good."

[He crouches down to Mon's level, emphasizing his apology with more pats on the head.]

"Don't worry, okay? This time I have friends with me. I'll be fine with them, so you don't have to come with me anymore."

[He wraps his arms around Mon, hugging him tight as their time starts to run out.]

"Thank you for being there for me, Mon. I promise to play fetch with you when my punishment's up. Until then, play with Hana first, okay? And if you can, you know, speak over there...tell her I don't care about what happened - I don't blame her. You're the best boy, Mon. Now go."

[With that, he releases Mon. Mon starts walking to the light, but not without glancing back. It could be meant as a goodbye, or maybe a see-you-soon, but who knows? Tomura considers it as a promise, and he keeps that in mind even as he starts walking to the darkness, side by side with his allies.]

#mha #my hero academia #shigaraki tomura #tomura #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki #bnha #i love him #bnha fanart #mha fanart #mon-chan #silly #shigaraki angst #tomura angst

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secretgaygenttomura · 10 months ago

Text

A Life Worth Living - Chapter 4

(TW: Physical and Verbal abuse, attempted murder)

When Tomura got home, driven by his Mom, he was due for an application of some of his medicinal skin cream, though it never did much to help. He was sitting in her lap, watching his toy train drive around it's track idly. The sight was eerily familiar. He could never just... stop itching, scratching at his skin. And his memories retained clearly why.

His mother warned as she gently applied the cream to the scarring around his eyes, "Tenko, what did I tell you? Stop scratching, it's only going to get worse."

"Mom-" He shook his head slightly, uncomfortable, "I told you, it's the house! I'm only itchy in here...!"

Nao sighed, shaking her head. She gazed into the backyard wistfully, as if something else was occupying her thoughts. After a moment, her gaze returned to Tenko, "Tenko... do you... still want to be a hero?"

He could remember his past answer clearly, the naivety echoing in the back of his mind:

A past Tenko explained half-heartedly in response, "Yeah, because no one wanted to play with Mikkun and Tomo-chan. So I said, let's play together! We played heroes and it was super fun! Mikkun said 'You should be All Might, Ten!' And it was really nice, even though they don't have any other friends." It was past that point where his thoughts delved darker, thinking about his father's violent disapproval of heroes, and how upset it made him. A lot more went through Tenko's mind than the adults around him ever though. Though now he could probably be able to tell the difference between his father judging him for wanting to be a hero and judging his overall character, as a child, you can't tell at all.

Tenko surged forward, hugging his mother tightly, tears threatening to spill from his sore eyes, "Mommy, why does Father say No all the time? Does he hate me? Will he like me once I get my quirk?!"

Tomura already knew all he needed to about him, he had no need to ask all those pointless questions anymore.

Coldly, he answered, just as his prolonged silence was starting to worry his Mom, "I dunno, Mom."

Nao's brows furrowed in confusion, "Really? That's unlike you, Tenko... Are you alright?"

Tomura briefly considered hugging his mother again. Very briefly. He shut his eyes and looked away from his mother, pained, "I mean... I could get a bad quirk, or even... no quirk at all. That wouldn't make a very good hero."

"A bad quirk, where'd you get that idea, Tenko?"

Tomura continued rambling, "Or, my quirk wouldn't be strong enough. Isn't that why Father hates it? Why he hates me being a hero? Me being too weak to fight?"

"Tenko...? How do you..." Nao's expression hardened, before she whispered, bringing her child in to caress his head comfortingly, "Tenko, I don't know where you're getting these ideas from, but I know your father doesn't hate you at all. He just doesn't want you to get hurt."

"He thinks I'm weak."

Nao sighed, shaking her head, "Now's not the time to talk about this, okay? Let's just finish this up, and then I'll make dinner, okay?"

Tomura stayed silent, what he always figured the best thing to do was when he was sour.

---

Dinner was fine, but this whole situation was starting to grow old on Tomura. How badly he wanted to get out of this loop of live, avoid trouble, eat, sleep. It bored him to no end. For once, he was actually craving a return to his life in crime.

It occurred to him, that his father might let him be a hero this time, if they were even somewhat aware of his thoughts at this moment. At least, if they even would believe him. But it wasn't exactly believable that their supposedly quirkless toddler was actually the reincarnation of an infamous serial killer with the power to destroy everything, from a person, to the core of the earth thousands of miles below their feet. It sounded like the typical crazy story any old kid could come up with. The only indication of truth would really be how verbose he was now.

He let his mind stop thinking about it, tuning back into reality to hear his grandparents justify his father's cruel actions to his face. Maybe he should've kept thinking about being a villain after all. At least, that was until he heard Hana from behind him:

"Ten! Hey Ten!"

She had been poking around their father's study, and just appeared to have found what she wanted to show Tenko.

The feeling Tomura felt at that moment looking at Hana wasn't something he could describe. It was similar to Deja Vu, but oh so different. Dread caused his heart to sink into his stomach and his heartbeat to pang inside his head, and nausea to start making him feel lightheaded. It was pure horror. He had to get away.

Desperately, he scrambled off, outside and away from the house, the itch all over him growing persistent. And that's where he found Mon. Thank god... The sun was just starting to set, and a neon yellow ball neatly sat atop a clump of grass. Tomura needed to relax, being here... It was somehow more stressful than his life of crime... He called Mon over, picking up the ball and waving it around. "Hey Mon! C'mere!"

The corgi, from across the lawn, perked up, and bounded towards Tomura. The boy hadn't known how much he missed this simple pastime.

"Go... Get it!"

As he tossed the ball, a sudden itching pain covered his skin, making Tomura yelp, "O-Ow-! Huh?"

Half of the ball had crumbled by the moment it hit the ground. And Tomura heard a faint crying in the distance under the sudden ringing in his ears, and following it, a looming presence behind him created a shadow. Reluctantly, Tenko looked behind him.

"Tenko, did you get into my study?" Kotaro did not ask, but accused. His hand was already raised.

No...! I didn't, I swear! I was innocent this time, I-... But his intents could not be heard as terror constricted it's grip on his throat.

By the door, Hana was clinging onto their mother's skirt, tears rolling down her cheeks in rivers as she pleaded, "No! I just wanted to show him something, I'm sorry! I didn't know!"

Tomura had forgotten how much more those few words made the following slap hurt. A sharp impact, stinging on his cheek, as he was knocked onto the ground. A new, burning feeling resonated in his chest. But the child inside him didn't let it surface for more than a second. A second that was used to shoot an unnoticed crimson glare up at his father.

"As punishment, you'll be spending the evening out here again." His father made his final remarks before returning inside.

---

By the time the sun had set, Tomura was huddled against the fence. Anger and turmoil boiling under his skin in the uncomfortably hot, humid air of summer. His whole body was covered in a crawling itch that the pollen and bugs and dirt outside never consoled, only exemplified with the resentment he was still holding towards his father. That resentment he was always taught to hold in his heart and fester. He never knew what else to do with it, so fester it did.

And again, he was in the same terrifying predicament. This time it had to go different, it had to. Mon-chan was whimpering next to him, snuggling up against him to try and get pets. "-Sorry Mon-chan...", his voice was barely present in his throat, full of agony as he tried to console the puppy, the only member of his household he still held care for at this particular moment, "I can't pet you..."

Mon gave a defeated whimper before laying up against Tomura. If the night could just keep being like this... Maybe things would be better. Maybe if he was just quiet enough, his goddamned father would never come out here, and-

It was then that the door to outside opened, the silhouette of his sister bounding towards him, "Tenko! I... I wanted to say sorry! I didn't want to get you in trouble, I just-" She stepped a little too close for comfort.

Tomura flinched at the quick approach, his hands sweeping across the concrete and landing on the fence behind him, "Stop! Don't get any closer!" He had a little more spirit in his voice this time.

Mon-chan yelped and jumped away as he felt the ground shift under his paws, Hana and Tomura reacting in tandem. The fence behind him crumbled from the bottom up, causing the top to almost fall on top of the boy, whose appearance was slowly changing, the hairs atop his head growing greyer the more he destroyed. The ground underneath Hana's feet collapsed, and she screamed in shock, falling over and scraping her arm.

The ground had become lumpy and uneven, and a certain silence had taken over the Shimura household. Tomura just almost killed his sister and Mon, again! His skin grew more and more itchy, and his heartbeat grew faster, and the dust on his skin made it feel unsufferably dry like it always did after a fight. Adrenaline, hate, and panic building, growing. Then his father and his mother opened the door.

"What is going on out here, do I need to punish you more, Tenko?! Did you not already learn your lesson?!"

That was it. He wasn't taking any more of this. He had the power to stop it! He knew he did.

Everything but Kotaro in his vision blurred, his skin already rubbed raw and inflamed like his patience. And he found himself getting up and stalking towards his father, his toes activating Decay on the ground around him, creating sharp, rigid land formations in their oh-so "perfect" lawn that had Hana and Mon running off to the more isolated corners.

"Tenko...!" Kotaro warned.

Get rid of him, get rid of the incessant itch. You've done it once before. You can do it again.

Tomura's internal voice was starting to distort.

With every step, Kotaro grew more apprehensive, and Tomura lost more and more pigment in his body, the black vanishing from his irises and hair. The more and more he felt like himself again.

But just as he was getting close, his tunnel vision hadn't let him see the garden shears his father had grabbed. Suddenly, Tomura felt an impact, a pulsing sting in his lip, and tasted the oh-so familiar taste of blood.

His father cried, "GET BACK, TENKO!"

That does it.

Tomura leaped forward, the only voices in his brain begging for father to be gone and dead, for that tortuous itch to be gone and dead!

Then his mother tackled them and grabbed his wrist.

"Tenko, please stop!" She wept, horror in her eyes. And suddenly all that adrenaline pumping through Tomura was gone, down the drain. He clenched his fist and tore his hand away, stumbling back and falling over.

Hyperventilating, his eyes welled up with tears, his heart once again sunken and leaving him nauseous. Not even the crickets or cicadas sang to console the moment. Only the grotesque sounds of anguished sobbing and scratching wounds into his skin from Tomura echoed through the night.

All his family could do was stand and watch in shock as Tomura realized he almost did it again, he almost killed his mom. And more importantly to the rest of his family, who he could see circling him, and staring at him like hungry buzzards, he tried to kill his father...

#my hero academia #tomura shigaraki #a life worth living #kotaro shimura #tenko shimura #fanfiction #writing #tenko shimura: origin #nao shimura #hana shimura #mon-chan #not art

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