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starry-bi-sky · 26 days ago

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finally giving fem danyal her own au and fulfilling my 'danny is an animal whisperer' agenda at the same time: mother of monsters danyal 2.0

i say "2.0" because TECHNICALLY 'mother of monsters danyal' is an au I made back in June for Dark fem!Danyal (who I promptly named Layal). However, I haven't posted much for her yet, and I like the "mother of monsters" premise too much to leave it only to Layal. Plus Danyal in that au was going to become the mother of monsters anyway, just with significantly less world domination and mass extinction.

'Animal whisperer' Danny has been something I've been thinking about since my latest DP 'wolfpack au' post and it's! So fun to think about, and who no better to assign the idea to than Danyal Al Ghul? Who comes from a family infamously known for their love of animals and nature?

Fem Danyal is just purely self-indulgent. *gestures wildly at her* i just lomvb,,, her,,,, I've only really mentioned her in context of the 'Things in Threes' au/my first Danyal al Ghul au with the facial scar, but she's!!! I love her. She deserves her own au <33

So kill three birds with one stone! Make a post about it.

Anyways, Danny has a large lair. Similar to cult leader danyal, her lair is a giant mountain region resembling nanda parbat with a big temple/palace-like area built into the mountain. It's large, it's overflowing with natural flora, with its own mini-floating islands hovering over some areas, and it's also completely empty.

Danny takes one look at her lair upon first meeting, -- noting that it looked relatively smaller from the outside -- and promptly, with the elegance of an Al Ghul, goes "What the hell??" Because yes, while she does enjoy her own solitude and privacy, this is a bit ridiculous.

For heaven's sake, there's even a massive lake in there! What's she going to do with all this space? Can she make it any smaller? Why is it so big in the first place? This looks borderline like one of the mega-islands!

She finds out later that apparently, the amount of ectoplasm a ghost has can have an effect on the size of their lair. And since she has such a large core, her lair reflects that. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, it's bigger on the inside so it doesn't take up "too much space" on the outside. Don't worry about it too much.

Danyal isn't totally opposed to having such a large lair, she's just... a bit baffled by it. It feels like so much wasted space is all. All this flora and no fauna to enjoy it with. It's practically eerie.

She decorates her temple-palace area, transforming rooms to match her needs as she sees fit. In the center of the inner gardens is a massive tree that she likes to climb, with twisting, winding branches. Sam and Tucker have honorary rooms, even if they can't safely leave the specter speeder for long periods of time, even with proper safety equipment. So does Jazz. Ali (Dani) has one too, but he can actually use that one, and Danny brought him to her lair so he could decorate it himself.

She has a personal garden, but for the most part she lets the flora exist as it is. Too much space to cultivate it en masse anyways.

Skip to a few weeks later, on her next visit to Clockwork. She developed a habit of going to see him semi-regularly just because. She enjoys his wisdom, and he has a lot of stories to tell, and when he's not being the cryptic and esoteric timekeeper, he's a bit goofy.

(pushing my dadwork agenda here,,, i think Danny deserves to go 'hey, Lord Clockwork, do you want me to buy you something' while she's at walmart, only to receive a singular glowing sticky note that says 'cucumber gatorade'.)

(She insists on referring to him with his proper titles even for the most mundane of things because it's proper, but Clockwork sees a future where she eventually calls him "Cee" and by all things in existence is he determined to get there. Anyways,,,)

On her next visit to Clockwork, just as she is about to leave, Clockwork stops her and goes; "Ah, I have something for you. Hold out your hands."

Danny does as such, and Clockwork doesn't give out things often, so her curiosity has spiked to the highest levels. He turns away from her for a moment, using his staff to summon whatever it is he needs, and when he turns around.

He drops a fish into her hands. Granted, a fish in a small glass tank. But a fish nonetheless. A small one, roughly about the size of her finger, with a blue-black, eel-shaped body and four sets of glowing eyes. She can see thin, almost translucent, but spiny fins down its back and the start of bioluminescent markings. It's swimming around in circles in its small container.

"Lord Clockwork." Danyal says all too calmly.

"Yes, Danyal?"

"What is this?"

"That is an adolescent leviathan, Danyal." She’s transfixed onto the tank, but she doesn’t need to see Clockwork’s face to hear the smile he’s stifling.

The myriad of emotions that runs through her all at once threatens to overwhelm her, and she can’t tell if the feelings are negative or positive. So she carefully closes her eyes to breathe in through her nose.

“Clockwork.”

“Ah, I see you’ve dropped formalities.”

She ignores that.

“Why have you given me an adolescent leviathan?”

She's expecting the trickster to look amused when she opens her eyes. Instead, he just looks endeared. "I know you're fond of animals," he says, "and you always look amazed when you come across an animal of the realms. So I thought you might enjoy taking care of the young beast, it's mother is dead so it has no one to care for it."

Oh.

"But, if you don't like it," Clockwork's hands reach out for the tank, "I can simply take it back--"

Danyal shifts the tank out from his reach and hugs it possessively. "I never said that. How do I care for it?"

And so clockwork gives her a list, and when Danyal returns to her lair, she sets up a large tank in her room for the leviathan to swim in -- it's much too small for the lake right now, she thinks. She'll feel better if it's somewhere she can find it. She names him Suhā.

Suhā grows quickly, and by the end of the mortal month she transforms one of the rooms into a large pond for him to swim around in. He's a very loyal beast, recognizing her as it's mother of some kind. Danyal takes great care ensuring that her beastie gets quality care, and Suhā swims to the surface to see her when he senses her in the room.

It spirals from there. Somehow, Pandora catches wind that Clockwork gave her a leviathan, and so the next time Danyal visits the Greater Athens, she gives her a baby chimera. It's eyes are still sealed shut, Danyal can't bring herself to say no. She names the little beastie Firas.

Frostbite hears about it too, and not to be outdone, gives her an animal she's never even heard of. Infinite-realms born, apparently. A fox-like creature with two small horns like an impala, four eyes, and tall legs. The name isn't something she's quite sure how to write down, and she's positive that her friends won't be able to comprehend it. She names her Eira.

Getting the three of them used to each other was... interesting. Suhā tried to eat Firas when Danyal first introduced the two, and they've hated each other ever since. Firas and Eira are seemingly getting along. Her island already feels full enough with the three of them on it.

Of course, that's not the end of it. With her luck, she begins stumbling across other monsters. Realms-borne or otherwise. An injured hydra in the Grecian islands that, through lots of trial and error, Danyal is able to rehabilitate and heal. It routinely comes to visit her afterwards.

A griffin with a broken wing that she moves permanently to the island that likes to keep to itself, but tends to come down when she's near. It gets along best with Firas.

A panther-like monster from the Shades Woods that had six legs and three tails, with ends that reminded her of a venus flytrap. It stuck around the heavy foliage and she can only make out where it was when she saw its golden eyes reflect.

She befriends a young indrik with its leg injured, and much like the hydra it follows her back to her island, and stays there in the mountains. It comes out when she's alone, much like her other beasts.

She receives two more leviathan -- one from clockwork, and one she finds herself while exploring the deeper and darker recesses of the Ghost Zone. It was huddled against the carcass of its mother, and she managed to befriend and get close enough to it to bring it back to her island. Suhā is fully grown by then, with a head bigger than Danyal herself and he still likes to stick her head out of the water for nuzzles when she's near.

He's not very happy with his new siblings, but he's not trying to eat them when she's not looking. So she calls it a win in her book.

And it's not just large beasts either; smaller animals begin popping up when she's not looking. Bird-like creatures and small mammals, and she swears she saw a doe (or something resembling a doe) grazing in the forest while she was walking by.

She takes back with her a lone snake egg once, and it grows so big it wraps around her island and sleeps with its massive head on the mountain beside the temple, like some smaller breed of Jörmungandr.

And on and on it goes. Some of the beasts she comes across never step foot onto her island, some of them follow her back, while others she has to carry back. Not all of the ones that follow her stay, and Danny rehabilitates the injured and releases them when they're fully healed.

It's hectic, and busy, and frankly she loves it. Some of her rehabilitated beasts return to visit her, or to have their children somewhere on the island, or whatever it is they need to do.

She becomes a bit infamous for it. She goes to visit Dorathea once, and as she's walking through the streets she can hear some of the denizens whispering while she walks past.

"Is that her?"

"Her highness' friend? Yes--"

"--that's the one--"

"--Mother of monsters--"

Danny's not sure how to feel about that.

Although, she can't say she's opposed.

Danyal Al Ghul, Mother of monsters, raiser of beasts. It has a nice ring to it.

#danny fenton is not the ghost king #dpxdc #dp x dc #dpxdc crossover #danyal al ghul au #dpxdc prompt #fem danny fenton #fem danyal al ghul #mother of monsters danny #if anyone wants to hear about Layal specifically I'd be HAPPY to tell you about her. she's inspired by the song 'scylla' from epic #you can't leave me with dark danny for too long i give him depth if i do. anyways i gave layal mommy issues. she has a complicated view on #danyal and both loves and hates her in equal measure. she killed her out of mercy. she's her mother her sister her other half.#she despises her. she misses her. she'll never see her again. she sees her every time she looks in the mirror. she's 24. she's 10 years old #can you tell that i made layal during a time where i was thinking about the 'dan is danny's kid' dpdc trope bc that's exactly what happened #*holds dad!clockwork up like potato.* 'i just think he's neat :)'#i am incapable of making things only cracky. i must make it meaningful in some way or another.#MMMM i have to cut it off here before it gets too looooNNGGG.#if this flops i'll be sad :((#i just think the idea that danyal has her own little world on her island is neat. she's got dragons and wyrms and serpents and giant wolves #and griffins and one time there's a sphinx although she doesn't stay permanently. Danyal has a blast answering her riddles though.#that panther is based off the dnd displacer beast. there's little salamanders and gazelles with three eyes. there's more sea monsters than #just suhā and the other two leviathans but i couldnt think of any. im obsessed with the sea serpents if you havent notice LMFAO.#there's pegasi and a manticore and a ton of infinite realms monsters that are just an assortment of animals slapped together #the shades woods are a mega-island idea that i had. they're where a bunch of the “shades ghosts” are from. Its this large forest area with #megaflora trees similar to the redwood forest with canopies so thick and wide that no light can reach the bottom. so all of the native faun #living there have adapted to live in the shadows. there are a few villages that live in tall tree houses like the ewok villages that outsid #ghosts can go visit. the panther that's from there is very fond of danyal honestly. anyways yEAH ANIMAL WHISPERER DANNY.#her beasties are all animals up until she's like. 19. where she promptly steals an infant minotaur from a Legends Islands near Pandora #he wasn't being treated well okay!!! she couldn't stand by and watch. his name is asterion. he's a year old. and she'll kill for him.#i dont have enough tags to talk about Damian or her family >:T. just know that i am leaning into her assassin bg as usual :)

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spectralscathath · 2 months ago

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Tour Guide to the Unexplained- A Gravity Falls Fanfiction

Chapter 1: Pines vs Gnomes

Stan and Ford didn't expect much when getting shipped up to Gravity Falls to stay with estranged family. Not gnomes, not a town full of secrets, and definitely not the Mystery Shack and their lying uncle who runs it. But with Ford's smarts and Stan's punching, there's no mystery they can't solve.

Ao3 Link

Stan didn't know what he expected of the old guy Shermie called their Grunkle Dipper, but it wasn't what they got. Ford closed the door to their new attic bedroom as Stan stood in the middle of the room, looking between the two beds. Not bunk beds. Nothing like home.

The silence was thick, so Stan broke it with a laugh. "What a load a' hokey, whaddaya think, Sixer?"

He expected Ford to start laughing and making fun of all those stupid 'exhibits' in the tourist trap their grunkle called the Mystery Shack. Fake cursed stuff, fake monsters, and fake ghosts. Fake and fake and fake.

Ford wasn't laughing. He stomped past Stan and threw his backpack and duffel bag at one of the beds, immediately claiming the left side of the room for himself.

Stan picked anxiously at the edge of his wrist brace, unsure what to do with himself as he stood in the middle of the room. "Sixer?"

" What , Stan?" Ford snapped, already climbing onto his bed and emptying out his stuff with less care than usual.

"Is this 'cuz I called it hokey? I know you like this stuff, Ford, but that's all definitely fake down there-"

"I hate it." Ford growled out, gripping his typewriter as he pulled it out of his backpack. Dad was never able to pawn it, so it became last year's birthday present.

"You hate it?"

"Yes! There's actual real anomalies and stuff out there- we saw the Jersey Devil for cryin' out loud- and he's making a big stupid joke outta it!" Ford's face went red with anger, six-fingered hands shaking. "Outta freaks!"

Stan got the jolt that he needed to move, scrambling up onto Ford's bed with him and shoving his shoulder against his twin's. "Kay then, let's go kick his butt about it."

"Stan!" Ford instantly looked stricken. "We can't do that!"

"Why not?" Stan punched his fist into his palm and winced at the twinge of pain in his bones. "He's made you feel bad so he gets the left hook. Them's the rules."

"He's an adult."

"Adult, schmadult-" Stan waved off. "Screw that-"

"And mom said you can't punch anyone for another week until you get the brace off."

"Then I'll kick him! Ka-pow!" Stan kicked his feet out in demonstration of his awesome fighting moves and Ford snorted, giving him a small shove.

"He's twice your size, knucklehead."

"So we'll team up," Stan shoved him back. "Kings of New Jersey, right?"

"Kings of New Jersey," Ford repeated, already looking less mad. Sad. Smad. "We still can't fight an adult though."

"Sure we can! I'll trip him and you jump on his head when he's down-"

"Stanley," Ford rolled his eyes, but he was smiling, so that was a plus. That was Stan's job. They only ever had each other, and they only ever would, because neither of them would ever have any friends, but that didn't matter, and this was why. Things were always better when you had a twin to have your back.

"Okay, okay. But he can't make us work here. He's got that cashier and that handyman guy, and he has to run tours, so we can just run off in the woods. It'll be fun, let's find Bigfoot."

"Do you think he'd be out here?" Ford's eyes lit up and he scrambled for his notepad and pencil, already scribbling a vague map of the area from his recollection of the trip from the bus stop, probably. Ford's brain was so cool, he had to be the smartest person in the history of ever.

"Sure, it's forest-y." That was his thing, right?

"Then let's find Bigfoot." Ford grinned and hopped off the bed, flicking the collar of his jacket up like he was an adventurer. A real one, not the fake kind Grunkle Dipper dressed up as.

"Bigfoot!" Stan jumped off and threw his fists in the air. "Let's go!"

"C'mon, Stanley, you gotta wear a jacket."

"Nah, sleeves are for nerds."

"Hey!" Ford punched his arm, grinning bright. "Don't call me a nerd, goober."

"Don't call me a goober, nerd!"Stan punched him back and ran out the door, past their grunkle's bedroom with its big 'no kids allowed' sign, and down the stairs, taking a big jump over the last two, nearly crashing into Dipper at the bottom.

"Whoa-" Dipper darted back, holding something behind his back. He was still dressed like some Indiana Jones rip-off, like he should be diving into old cities for gold but here he was, running a tourist trap. "You're in a rush, what's going on?"

"We're Bigfoot hunting!" Stan blurted out.

"Can it, Stan!" Ford ran down to join him and slapped a hand over his mouth. "We're gonna go exploring- EW, STANLEY!" He ripped his hand away as Stan finished licking his hand.

Dipper stared at them before shrugging. "Yeah, I was the same at your age. Just don't go too far, alright? Oh- and hang up these signs, while you're out there." He pulled out a hammer and signs from behind his back and tossed them down.

"What?" Stanley stuck out his tongue even as he caught the hammer, Ford fumbling the signs as they clattered on the carpet. Heh, and mom thought Stan needed to wear glasses more. Lame. "But we're exploring."

"Explorers have to mark their trail, don't they?" Dipper grinned and struck a pose, tipping his hat. "As this town's resident monster hunter, paranormal investigator, and Tour Guide to the Unexplained-" if Ford didn't hate it, Stan woulda applauded the showmanship- "I'd know."

Ford bent down to pick up the signs, grumbling under his breath. Dipper didn't hear, but Stan did. 'Faker' was accurate.

Stan spoke over him to prevent either from getting in trouble. "We'll hang up the dumb signs."

"Yep." Dipper patted them both on the head as he walked by. Stanley tried to scrub his hair clean of the touch. What was that for? "Don't get too disappointed if you don't see Bigfoot today, alright? Gravity Falls is a pretty sleepy town. Be back by dinner!"

"We will!" Stan only lied a little, following Ford out through the gift shop, past Carla reading a music magazine behind the register, past Boyish Dan lifting boxes out of Dipper's beat-up old pick-up truck, the faded blue paint chipped and dented, and past the attached shed where Waddles Jr. took pictures with tourists.

Ford stopped at the edge of the trees, the signs gathered in his arms before he handed them to Stanley. "We'll show him. Let's find that Bigfoot."

"Yeah! Let's show this place how we do things in Jersey!"

Gnome bites really hurt. Were they venomous? Surely not, but maybe he should test their wounds for toxins? Even if there wasn't venom, there could be bacteria! Who knew what gnomes ate- and Ford bet they didn't even brush their teeth. "What if we get some magic gnome disease?"

"Uh- soup, I guess?" Stanley carried most of Ford's weight as they limped out of the woods, covered in twigs and dirt and a lot of scratches. "Mom always makes soup when we get sick."

"Yeah. Soup is a primitive but effective cure for ailments." But it wouldn't be Mom's soup out here. "Where did you even get that switchblade?" And how did Ford not know about it? Tying a knife to a possum was one thing when they were nine- but Stanley had a switchblade and Ford didn't know about it.

"Nicked it when we were packing." Stanley shrugged as if that wasn't the scariest thing Ford had heard and they just stumbled on gnomes making abduction plans. Didn't Stanley remember getting grounded for a whole summer?

"But, Dad'll be so mad-"

"Dad won't notice." Right, with the renovations. With all the asbestos and lead paint the city was making him get rid of, a single switchblade might not be missed. He could see Stanley's logic, but he still wasn't sure. And it didn't answer his real question anyway.

"So… why did you take it?"

"I dunno- in case of mountain lions? Or bears? Maybe there's wolves out here!" Stan grinned, a gap in his teeth. "And definitely for scaring gnomes. Did you see that guy's face?"

"Yeah," Ford laughed because it seemed like the right response, still uneasy. "I'm glad they didn't chase us too far. I wish we could have caught one though, just to show Dipper."

"Let's go do that tomorrow. They look pretty small, and pretty stupid, so you should figure out a trap easy." Stan gave him a friendly squeeze. They didn't hug so much anymore, Ford missed it. All part of growing up though, that's what this trip was about. Toughening up and becoming real men, dad said. Learning how to pull their weight instead of letting other people carry it. Speaking of-

"I think I can walk now." Ford pulled away and tested his foot. Still hurt a bit, but felt better. "Thanks, Stan."

"Hey, that's what I'm for, Poindexter," Stan grinned and reached into the back of his jeans. "And look! We didn't lose Grunkle Dipper's hammer either!"

"Yeah, and we found this too." Ford smiled and reached into his jacket, pulling out the diary they'd found. It was definitely a girl's diary, neon purple and covered in sparkles and puffy stickers that were peeling off and a painted-on shooting star that trailed rainbows. The big number 3 inside the star was what really held his attention. Were there other diaries? The writer's name was missing, and the pages stopped halfway through, and the scratch-and-sniff stickers on each page had lost their sniff, and the entries grew increasingly paranoid. He wondered where the writer was now. Were they the ones who left all those scratches on every tree around the Shack?

There were so many questions. He had to know more.

"Do you think that diary's right about 'Gravity Falls having a secret hidden dark side'?" Stan did a pitch perfect impression of Ford, spinning the hammer his hand and nearly dropping it on his sneakers.

"It was right about gnomes in the forest," Ford shrugged, flipping through. Some of the illustrations were wacky and cartoony, some were more realistic, some had googly eyes glued on, and all of them were the coolest things he'd ever seen. He liked the stickers too, some of them were cute, but he couldn't admit that. Stickers and cute things were for girls.

"Are you gonna show Grunkle Dipper?"

Ford hesitated, an inexplicable feeling of being watched settling right between his shoulders. He turned around, looking at the forest behind them and didn't see anything.

Waddles Jr. oinked loudly from his pen, making Ford jump and Stanley laugh at him. Stupid pig. Why did Grunkle Dipper even have a pig? It was so big too, he thought pigs were supposed to be smaller.

No. He didn't want to tell Grunkle Dipper. Dipper wouldn't understand, he'd just use it to make more fake anomalies. He wouldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe Ford. He might even laugh at him for carrying around such a girly-looking book.

Ford put the diary back into his jacket and looked at Stan. "I don't want to tell him."

"Cool, super twin secret." Stan agreed immediately, holding up his braced hand. "High six?"

"High six," Ford smiled and gently tapped his palm against Stanley's, careful not to aggravate his healing wrist. Stan said it was a boxer's fracture, and he complained about it hurting after a boxing lesson, so it had to be. Stan was a good liar, way better than Ford ever could be, but after the Jersey Devil incident, he'd agreed to never lie to Ford again.

The bell jingled as they entered the Mystery Shack, closed for the day and devoid of suckers for their Grunkle to swindle, Carla the cashier and Boyish Dan the handyman already gone home for the day. Just them and their Grunkle, the conman.

"Wow. What happened? You two look like you got in a fight with a- a wolverine? Or something?" Dipper stood up from where he sat behind the counter, his hat hanging over the register. Ford hadn't noticed the little tree pin on the hat's band before.

"You should see the other guy." Stan slapped the hammer on the counter, following Ford towards the house section of the place. Ford didn't want to talk to their Grunkle, he just wanted to check his gnome bites and read the diary until his eyes fell out.

"Uh- hey!" Dipper called after him, and they both stopped. Dad made sure they had manners, after all. Dipper cleared his throat, tapping his pen against his chin. "Listen- I know this was last minute, but I want you two to have a good summer. Tell you what: you can both pick something from the gift shop as a welcome present, on the house."

"Really?" Did he think he could bribe them into liking him?

"What's the catch?" Stan asked, instantly suspicious. Dad would never allow that. The only way he ever gave stock to them was as a birthday gift if he hadn't been able to sell it and didn't think anyone would ever buy it. They didn't get very many birthday gifts from him. Ford's typewriter had been the first in two years.

"No take-backsies?" Dipper chewed the top of the pen- gross- and shrugged. "No swaps, how about it?"

"Deal!" Stan nodded and dove into the aisles, Ford following behind at a sedate pace. Just one thing? But there was so much choice, so much stuff that was weird for a gift shop to have. He could see socks, bookmarks, mystery gift bags, survival kits, all sorts of gemstones and crystals, weird runestones, keychains, power tools, snow globes, Waddles Jr. bobbleheads, question mark headbands, bottles of formaldehyde, fake cyclops skulls, baseball hats, postcards, toys, t-shirts, salt and pepper shakers, jars of fake body parts…

He stopped in front of the grappling hook box and stared at what was in the next basket, 'world's strongest magnets!!' emblazoned on the packaging. Seeing the two next to each other was like a localised lightning strike of inspiration, his brain sparking with an idea, a need to create. Not the grappling hook- too unsafe- but the general shape…

"Can I have these magnets?" He grabbed them and held them up to show Dipper.

"That's a good choice," Dipper leaned over the counter to see. "Just don't aim them at your fillings and you should be fine."

"We don't have fillings." They were still losing all their milk teeth, after all. Dad said they wouldn't need to waste money on dentists until they had teeth worth losing. It was factually incorrect, but their father was not a man to argue with.

"Then you're good to go." Dipper smiled at him as Stan ran out from the aisles. "Whatcha got there, Stan?"

"Smoke bomb kit!" Stan yelled excitedly.

"Not like- brass knuckles?" Ford blinked in confusion. There were probably some for sale in this place. Stan was good at punching.

"I'm gonna make smoke bombs!"

"Have fun with those." Dipper popped on his hat. "I'm gonna feed Waddles Jr., be ready for dinner in ten."

There was a moment where Ford wanted to tell him everything, that the gnomes were just outside the treeline, that they got into a big fight with a whole colony of them after Stan fell into their cave and saw them practicing their human disguise, that they got away with just a few bites and scratches.

Ford wanted to tell Dipper that the supernatural was real, the anomalies he sold to tourists as a hoax were real , but all he had to go on were some bitemarks and the diary of a mad artist.

And Dipper would probably just blame squirrels for the bitemarks. Just like everyone else always blamed clumsiness for everything else.

No. Ford couldn't trust Grunkle Dipper, who only Shermie spoke fondly of and no one else in the family had seen or talked about in years. Grunkle Dipper wasn't someone he could trust. No one was.

Except Stan.

Ford tucked his magnets next to the diary and ran upstairs to join his twin, head spinning with a million questions and a deep, burning surety that he could find the answers himself.

Dipper waited for all the lights to go out before he slipped out of the Mystery Shack, a denim jacket thrown over his pajamas as his boots crunched on the dirt, vanishing into the woods under the full moon.

He hopped down into the gnome caverns, the moss springy under his feet. "Hey, you gnomes! I wanna talk to whoever's in charge!"

Gnomes popped out of every crevice- he nodded once in respect at Schmebulock, who nodded back- and one of them pushed through the gathering crowd until he stood on a rock that put him just at Dipper's knee height.

"Well- since the old queen got eaten by a badger and we're looking for a new one, I'm currently the one giving orders." He flicked his suspenders with a smile that Dipper wanted to punt. "Name's Jeff. And you're-?"

Dipper lifted his bangs in answer, watching the gnome horde start chattering nervously amongst themselves. Yeah. He wasn't thrilled about his reputation with the secret side of Gravity Falls either. Still- it could be useful.

"There were two human kids today." Dipper dropped his hair and crossed his arms, cutting in before Jeff could start talking more. "I want everyone in the forest to know not to hurt them. They're my nephews."

"Well- they caused some trouble in our territory, so you see, we had to-"

"No. Don't care, not interested." Dipper reached into his jacket and pulled out his flashlight, brandishing it like a weapon at Jeff, the crystal attached set to 'shrink'.

"Now hold on-"

"Tell everyone in the forest: no one messes with the Pines twins. Or else I start showing real attractions again." Which would tank his profits unless he picked very carefully, and would be more trouble than it was worth, but the forest didn't need to know that.

"No- no, we're all fine and dandy with how things are!" Jeff laughed nervously, waving his hands. "Alright, gnomes! You heard this guy, no one kills the new kids! Someone go tell the manotaurs!"

"You do that." Dipper started walking towards the exit, throwing out one more suggestion for the road. "And don't kidnap anyone this summer, alright? It's seriously messed up when you do that."

Stepping out of the gnome cavern had him drawing his jacket tighter and doing up a few buttons to ward off the feeling of being watched. He could hear the faint rustling behind him of a hundred gnomes rushing off in every direction, the wind catching in the pine needles, and it sounded like an echo, laughter in the back of his head.

He left the trees and returned to the Shack, past Waddles Jr., and into the gift shop. The boys were- well, a setback, but one he could work around. He just had to keep them alive for the summer and send them home in one piece. Why did he even agree to this? Didn't matter, he did, just had to work with it now.

The vending machine slid open with a hiss. Just one small setback. Mabel would understand. She just had to wait a little longer.

He wasn't going to let the rest of the family ruin things.

#gravity falls #dipper pines #stanford pines #stanley pines #fanfic #relativity falls au but Mabel is the Author #first time writing for gravity falls but I've got the fandom renaissance bug so here: assorted AU drabbles #lil edit of the Diary as well for flavour #my writings #gf

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