#assigned angst artist at birth

[silviakundera]

Ok, upon request my thoughts on Bad Buddy, a good queer romance drama that doesn't get much if any international exposure outside the circle of Thai BL fans. Full spoilers.

after consuming literally dozens of BB videos, the best trailer to the drama imo is actually the talented samyvids' "Just My Type" songvid. Perfectly captures the setup.

* the hook: 2 boys raised by their feuding families to be rivals end up attending a university that has a childish Jets vs Sharksesque historic rivalry between the science/engineering vs artistic/architecture majors. Despite these 2 barriers, the boys stumble into a secret bromance and then into love. Secondary couple here is f/f, though it's basically just soft girls meet cute then getting together (no conflict).

* Comedic and light-hearted drama that doesn't take itself too seriously, while also swerving into the appropriate amount of angst for its set up.

* This '20-something bros in love' dynamic reminds me vividly of what a lot of SPN J2 RPF and Hockey RPF has tried to capture. The 2 leads feel like your prototypical good natured university bros and falling in love never changes that. Friends AND Lovers is a challenging dynamic to capture imo but Bad Buddy succeeds

* It helps the Bros In Love vibes that the actors look less primped & polished than many other asian BL productions. They seem like guys you could have actually had in your classes in uni.

* If you welcome the drama's tone and just vibe with it, I think it successfully executes 4 popular romance tropes:

- rivals to friends to lovers

- forbidden (hidden) love

- fall first vs fall harder

- golden retriever bounding around paw cleaning cat

* If you are going to sell me on a modern day romeo & juliet esque queer rom-com, without the bloodshed, then you BETTER put your money where you mouth is and make their love actually forbidden.

* Thankfully, Bad Buddy understood the assignment. It's not just a misunderstanding. Their parents truly do have a feud and they truly are forbidden to even be friends, forget a romantic relationship. 2 kids obligated to be enemies since birth, bound by this twisted shared experience that no one else understands.

* Pran falling first, with enough time to comprehend how cruelly impossible they are. Pat falling late, fast, and hard - too impulsive to consider the consequences and wearing his heart on his sleeve.

* Both characters won me over quickly:  cautious & restrained Pran who likes order, chaotic Pat who craves his attention

* Love that the dramatic tension & hiding in all the early episodes isn't revealed to be pointless. If there was no consequence, then it removes the poignancy of its classic rooftop kiss scene. Prans' fears must be justified in order for the angst to stand up in a rewatch. Pran's friends DO reject him at first. Their parents DO refuse to accept the relationship, including his mom considering this a personal betrayal.

* Prans' fears are painfully rational and everything he is scared of does have to be confronted. But that also gives romantic weight to his decision to give in to the feelings and accept the consequences.

* In the way that scifi authors will try to explore sociopolitical topics through allusions & metaphor, and that Hunger Games author keeps writing dystopian YA whenever she gets heated about politics, Bad Buddy does a good job imo of using the feuding families setup to address the reality of existing in a homophobic and transphobic society while being queer -- demonstrating it in a way that straight cis people can relate to. And approaching from this angle allows the production to tell that story with a certain emotional distance for queer viewers who have experienced such struggles.

* The bittersweet ending sells me completely on this drama. Closeted but not. Open but not entirely. Accepting that you can't change the world and make all your family & friends & coworkers accept your truth... but refusing to abandon them OR your truth. It's a decision so many queer people have made over the years, in different countries and decades. And it's tinged with hope.

* Let's acknowledge that indeed there is tons of product placement in this series. Sometimes to hilarious ends. But frankly, without this sponsorship the series would not exist. So I'm very grateful to suffer through the marketing that helped fund it.

* Available streaming in multiple places, including YouTube.

[jungkookslipring]

I Will Never Make You Lonely: CH 2

Summary: When your life is falling apart, your 8 best friends are there to lift you up

TW: mentions of de&th, su!c!de, su!c!de tendencies, su!c!dal ideologies, depress!on, anxiety, crying. If this is in any way triggering I’d steer towards more of my happier works. 

If you or someone you love has thought of or acted on suicide, there is help and there is hope 

Call or text 988

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, non-idol AU

PSA: this is no way represents the artists. While their birth names are used in this story, this is in no way a reflection of the artist or artists in real life.

AU: this chapter is a little more lighthearted, but I wanted to add the trigger warnings just in case.

there is a tickle scene in here, so if it's not your cup of tea you are more than welcome to skip this chapter.

Ch 2

The last seven days have felt slow and dreadful, and all you could do was work. You were currently in the fourth week of your final quarter with midterms coming up soon. Although your friends have their own school work to worry about, they are starting to become worried about you. You haven't shown any signs of emotion since you received that phone call.

You would spend 12 to 16 hours each day reading, writing, deleting, and editing. However, when it was time for bed, you couldn't sleep. And even if you managed to sleep, you would have very vivid nightmares. As a result, more than half of the time, you would keep yourself busy by burning through homework assignments and projects.

Sometimes the guys would bring you food, drinks, or snacks because they knew you wouldn’t do it yourself, and you were now approaching a no-sleep streak of almost 72 hours. You truly didn’t know how you were still functioning, and they didn’t know either. One evening you were sitting at your windowsill, reading yet another case study. You closed your eyes for a split second before your heart nearly jumped out of your butt when Hyunjin, Han, and Minho burst into your room. You stared at them with your hand over your chest.

"What. the actual fuck is happening?" you ask trying to catch your breath. Hyunjin grabbed your textbook and Han grabbed a hold of your hands.

"Friday night movie night! Don't tell me you were going to skip!" Han said full of energy. Right, movie night. On any given day they would jump on your bed and quite literally drag you away from whatever you were doing so you could all binge-watch movies until the early AM, but Chris had warned them to leave you alone because you were studying. That didn't work out so well.

"If you want to study you can, we just thought you deserved a break," Minho said kindly. Han stood there swinging your arms side to side, patiently waiting for an answer.

"You haven't taken a proper break for days, y/n, and sleeping doesn't count as a break, which we know you haven't gotten a whole lot of either," Hyunjin said as he thumbed the dark circle under your eye gently. You exhaled and closed your eyes. All the shock mixed with not getting any sleep was not only mentally draining but also physically.

“I’m fine, I don’t sleep a whole lot anyways,” you said, shrugging it off, but if you spent the rest of the night studying, you were going to collapse, and the boys knew that. They suggested that you take a nice hot shower and meet them in the living room for some much-needed best-friend time. Seungmin was already on a mission to get your shower bomb that made the entire bathroom smell super citrusy and lit a candle to provide a little bit of light so that the overhead light wasn't so bright. After the shower, you walked into the bedroom and saw a pair of folded pajamas that were warm from just being pulled out of the dryer and placed on the bed. You felt so much love for those boys. There was a gentle knock at the door once you were dressed.

“Come in,” you called out. The door cracked open as Minho poked his head in the door frame. 

“I made soup if you would like any,” he said sweetly. You gave him a smile as you whispered “Thank you”. He had sad eyes and a kind smile, he knew (they all knew) how hard you were taking everything. Minho slowly pushed past the door and walked up to you. 

“Aigoo…” he whispered as he cupped your face, studying your features.  

“You must be exhausted." You nodded and looked down at the floor.

“Would you like to eat? Even if it’s just a bite or two?” he asked. You nodded slowly as he carefully took a handful of your sweater paw and led you out of your bedroom. As you stepped out of the hallway into the kitchen, you noticed that the boys were scattered in the living room. They were having soup while the TV was on low volume, making sure not to be too loud. When you walked in, they greeted you with sweet smiles. Minho handed you a bowl of soup and led you to the couch. Changbin patted the spot between him and Han, inviting you to sit. You weren't sure which movie they had picked, but it managed to distract you. After you finished your soup, Han took your bowl while Changbin snuggled you close to his side. Han came back and stroked your hair while cooing at the both of you.

“Our baby,” he said sweetly.

“She’s not a baby, she’s older than you,” Changbin jokingly sassed at Han. Han put a hand over his heart and made the most extra gasp he had ever made. You giggled and patted Changbin’s hand.

“I’m older than you too you know,” you say while trying to hide a smile. Everyone in the room burst out laughing as Changbin gave you a look of betrayal.

“By two months!” he squawked at you as he began to poke your sides. You giggled as you buried yourself further between Changbin and the couch cushions, trying to get away from Changbin’s hands.

“Oh no, you’re not going anywhere missy!” Changbin laughed as he pulled you onto his lap. He held you in his arms as he squeezed your side with one hand.

“Bihihin quit ihihihihit,” you giggled trying to fold in on yourself. Your arms were trapped under his so your whole midsection was exposed while Han grabbed a hold of your ankles to hold you down. You squeaked when Chris got on the couch, plopping himself right next to your hips, and pressed his fingers into your tummy, turning your giggles to laughter. 

“Awww there’s that laugh we love so much, tickle tickle tickle,” he teased as his eyes turned into beautiful little crescents. 

“YOU GUYHAHAHAHA YOU GUYS ARE SO BAHAHAHAHAD!” You threw your head back on Changbin’s shoulder as you continued to squeal while the boys cooed at your reaction. As the movie played on, three of the boys tickled and teased you while the rest looked on with adoration. It was heartwarming to see you smile again since they had missed it. After a few minutes, Chris and Changbin stopped tickling you, and you resumed cuddling with Changbin while Han kept your feet on his lap and tapped a beat on your calves. The group ended up having a movie marathon, with occasional pokes and squeezes from Changbin and Han.

As your favorite movie played on, Changbin noticed that you were starting to fall asleep on his chest. He began to play with your hair, alternating between massaging your head, rubbing his hand up and down your back, and gently running his fingers through your hair. The soft touches on your head and back and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat helped you fall into a peaceful sleep. Once you were asleep, Changbin nudged Han and pointed to you, indicating that you were out. Han quietly cooed at you and signaled everyone else that you were asleep. By the time the last movie had ended, it was almost 9 p.m., and Chris suggested that everyone should rest. Changbin picked you up and carried you to your bed without waking you up. He tucked you in, gave you a soft kiss on the forehead, turned off the lights, and closed the door.

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Stay tuned for CH 3!

taglist: @felixmainacc @felixburneracc @myforevermelody143 @dunno-wut-to-do @itzsana-kiddingmenow

[burquillos]

sir, that’s my emotional support jedi

[watermelonlovershigh]

Love is Love (stepdad!harry)

BEFORE YOU READ THIS, PLEASE CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO GET SOME VERY MUCH NEEDED INFORMATION ON THIS STORY OR YOU MAY GET CONFUSED!!!! --------- >>>>>>>>>>>>

**Information on Step-Dad!Harry One Shot/Potential mini Series**

WARNING: this will contain mature subjects including the following- talk of trauma due to abandonment, sex, & alcohol!!!

(Smut/a little Angst/Sick Scene/Fluff)

Word Count- 13K

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BACKSTORY OF Y/N AND HER DAUGHTER EMMA'S LIFE BEFORE HARRY-

Y/n gave birth to her daughter Emma at the early age of 16. It wasn't a planned pregnancy of course. Her and her high school boyfriend was just dumb and immature teenagers, thinking skipping a condom one time wouldn't hurt anything. Well the one time they were too lazy to wear a condom was the one time she got pregnant.

She had the option for an abortion but y/n knew she could never actually go through with it. Getting pregnant was a mistake that she needed to take responsibility for. So a month after her 17th birthday, she gave birth to her beautiful Emma. Y/n's then boyfriend said he wanted to be a part of his daughters life, and he was. Until Emma was about 5 years old. When Emma turned 5, her daddy just left. She didn't understand why her daddy had left her. Being so young, Emma assumed she must have done something wrong. But in reality, her daddy was always a piece of shit who just acted like he cared for the first five years and gave up on acting because he said it was too exhausting to carry on.

So y/n raised Emma the best she could. She was a great single parent. Of course she had struggles like any other mum but she was a fighter and determined to give her daughter the best life even if she didn't have a dad in the picture. Y/n was lucky enough to be giving the opportunity to work a great, high paying job in Hollywood. When Emma was 7 years old, y/n went to cosmetology school to be a hair stylist and makeup artist. She thought once she graduated that she would just work in a small, local salon there in Los Angeles. Oh how she was wrong.

Somehow she ended up working as the hairstylist and makeup artist on movie sets. At first y/n only did the movie extras hair and makeup, beings most of their shots were from a distance and they didn't have to look perfect. Not that y/n was bad at her job, but she was an amateur. She honestly didn't mind doing just the extras who played in movies. She had done makeup and hair for extras in movies like Pitch Perfect, The Hunger Games, and 50 Shades of Grey. It was really a variety of all different genres of films and gave her really great experience.

Someone high up in the film stylist department on movie sets got in contact with people from high budget films and recommended y/n, but not only recommend her for movie extras but for the main cast of those movies. It was kind of like a promotion so to speak. When she got informed of this information, she was over the moon.

Her first job after being promoted was the movie Bad Moms. When y/n got the assignment of doing Mila Kunis' hair and makeup, her first time doing the lead role, she thought it couldn't get better than for her. Some producers of films don't know how big their movie is gonna be until its finished and out in theaters. I mean some movies just turn out as flops. Fortunately, Bad Moms was one of the highest grossing movies in 2016. The better the movie does by critics and the public, the more the people behind the scenes get paid. Whether that's costume designers, hair and makeup artist, location coordinator, etc.

In May of 2016, y/n got assigned to a movie that would change her life forever. Dunkirk. For this film, she would have to travel for the first time with her job. So far, y/n had only worked on movies that were filmed in Los Angeles. But Dunkirk would be filmed in a variety of places but manly in France. Beings that it was a Christopher Nolan film, she was going to get paid big money and she wasn't even starring in it. Just doing the actors hair and makeup for their on-screen appearances was gonna earn her big bucks. The only down side for y/n was that she would be away from Emma for a few months. Y/n's parents were gonna keep her until y/n got back home. She was happy to have loving parents who adored her daughter.

Y/n didn't know much about the movie Dunkirk and what it entailed. She just knew it was going to be a war movie. In the United States, schools don't teach students about that war in particular because it had little to no involvement with the US. Y/n didn't even know who was going to be in the cast until she arrived on set the first day.

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HOW Y/N & HARRY MET AND THEIR FIRST INTERACTIONS-

Hair stylist and makeup artist for movies usually get assigned to cast members who will be in a lot of scenes together. So most big production films have several makeup and hair styles on set for that reason in particular. When y/n got the list of people she would work with, she almost shit her pants. Harry FUCKING Styles. Y/n thought Harry was just a singer in One Direction. When did he become a actor she questioned.

Y/n didn't know too much about Harry or One Direction. She knew they were super famous and loved by many but y/n was too busy with her job to be an active fan of them. For all she knew, Harry was some rude snob that yelled at everyone in sight. But when he came in to her trailer to get his hair and makeup done on the first day of shooting, y/n soon realized he was the exact opposite.

Harry was a lovely guy who was super respectful. He came in each day with a smile on his face and even started bringing y/n a cup of coffee each morning. Y/n got to learn a lot about Harry in the time she worked with him. She learned that One Direction went on hiatus. She learned that Harry is actually 4 years younger than her. She learned all about his up bringing and hobbies. Though she only got about 2 hours with him everyday, y/n felt like she had known him all her life. They really connected.

One day while y/n was in the middle of doing Harrys makeup, which wasn't a lot because he had a ton of under water scenes, he reached forward and kissed her. You'd think that y/n would have pushed him away or act surprised but she actually kissed him back. It wasn't a super long kiss, but a quick and gentle one. Harry knew he was risking their jobs but he didn't care. Well he did care but he knew how to be secretive and not get caught by prying eyes. Mainly because he was use to sneaking around from being a public figure for so many years and enjoying his privacy.

A week went by after that kiss and that's all y/n thought about. That was the best kiss she'd ever had and the kiss wasn't even that saucy. Harry couldn't stop thinking about that kiss either. He had kissed many people in his day, men and women, but something about y/n's lips on his was the best. He knew he needed more. So late one night when he was alone in his hotel room, Harry got the courage to ask y/n to come visit him. Earlier that week, he told her what hotel he was staying in and what room number he'd be in.

First, y/n was apprehensive. Not because she didn't want Harry like that. She thought he was very attractive and she could only imagine his skills in bed, but Harry didn't know her biggest secret as of yet. Something she was scared to tell him because she thought it would push him away if he knew. And that was that she had a daughter. An 11 year old daughter for that matter. Not a 2 year old but a preteen. Harry wouldn't want to be with someone that came with baggage. Not to mention her body didn't look the best. She had stretch marks and saggy boobs. Y/n was very insecure about her body. After thinking and thinking about his offer, she decided to yolo and just go for it.

She drove to his hotel at 12:00 in the morning and took the elevator to the proper floor. Then walked to his room. Harry was very surprised she actually came, but none the less excited.

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FLASHBACKS TO THE NIGHT THAT REALLY STARTED Y/N & HARRY'S RELATIONSHIP-

Y/n walks in his hotel suite and Harry can tell she's nervous. "You look nervous y/n." Harry says quietly, not wanting her to feel any amount of uncomfortableness.

"I mean I am a bit. I haven't done this type of thing in a while and their is something I haven't told you and I don't know how you'll react." y/n spoke. Harry gets nervous for a moment, trying to find the right words to respond with.

"I'm sure what ever you need to tell me isn't going to scare me away. Plus its alright if you haven't done this in a while," referring to sex, "I'll go at your own pace and be gentle." Harry says sincerely. He's very versatile in the bedroom. Whatever his partner wanted, he could accommodate to. If they wanted him to be dominate and manhandle them, while pounding them into the mattress, he would. If they wanted to take over and dominate him, Harry would let them. If who ever he was having sex with wanted to go slow and make everything sensual, he did just that. So he is unsure what she was nervous about or what she needed to tell him.

"Umm," she stutters before spitting out, "I have a kid. An 11 year old daughter. And I'm sure you wouldn't want to sleep with someone who has a near bout teenager. Plus my body doesn't look the best. I have saggy boobs and a jiggly belly. May even have a loose vagina for all I know. Haven't been with anyone since I was with my daughters father and when we had sex, he didn't even communicate with me, letting me know if I felt good for him or not. He'd fuck me in the dark and as soon as he got finished using me, he'd turn around and fall asleep." Y/n is out of breath by the time she finishes saying all that. Harry just stands their in shock. Not that he cared she had a daughter. He was actually fine with that. If his feelings for y/n keep growing, her daughter will just be a part of his life as much as y/n would be.

Harry also stands their in shock at what she said about her ex boyfriend. How could any man have sex with a women and not communicate how they feel or ask them how they feel through-out. To Harry, he could have sex with someone he's only known for an hour, but you best believe, their pleasure is his number one priority. He always asks the girls he's having sex with if they are alright or if they feel good. The thought of a women not being taken care of during sex makes him sick to his stomach. Also Harry's been with many older women and most of those women have children. Not in full fledge relationships but the sex part. Mostly one-night stands. He's never cared about a women's imperfections. He thinks they're beautiful. So he doesn't care what y/n's body looks like or how tight or loose she is. Though tighter the better but it wouldn't be a deal breaker if it came down to it.

Without a second thought, Harry strides over to y/n and quickly locks his lips with hers. She's taken back but relaxes into his gentle touch. Pulling his lips away just slightly, Harry pants out, "Y/n, I don't care if you have a daughter. If this works out between us, she will be a part of my life as much as she is yours. And I don't care if your boobs sag or you have stretch marks on your skin. I just want to make you feel good. Can I do that?" Harry whispers the last part. Y/n is so overwhelmed that all she can do is nod her head for a response.

Harry presses his lips to hers again and leads them over to the bed. The kiss gets more passionate and their tongues start touching and spit gets exchanged. Blindly, Harry reaches the bottom of her t-shirt and slowly begins to pull it over y/n's head. Then he switches spots with her so that he's sitting on the bed and he pulls y/n on his lap. More specifically his thigh. Her jeaned crotch sits directly on his bare thigh due to the shorts that he's wearing having ridden up. Y/n moves unintentionally and it was just enough to bring a shooting pleasure through her body, making her moan into his mouth. She tries to replicate that feeling by intentionally grinding down on his thigh and she starts to subtly shake on his lap. She hasn't even had the time to masturbate in months so of course her clit is gonna be sensitive.

Y/n keeps a steady grind going on Harry's thigh while reaching to pull his shirt over his head. They break from the kiss only for a second and continue. Her panties are dripping at this point. She honestly doesn't know if Harry likes her riding his thigh. He hasn't told her to stop she thinks, so he must not care.

Harry reaches behind her while kissing and unhooks her bra. He carefully drags the straps down her shoulders and tosses it on the floor. Now they are chest to chest and he can feel her hard nipples rubbing up on his tattooed front. He wants to stop her hip movement but y/n seems way into her pleasure that Harry can't help but let her continue. He just wants her to feel good and if that means she rides his thigh and has an orgasm than so be it.

Y/n doesn't even intend to actually come on his thigh, but she underestimated how sensitive she was. All the sudden the knot in her stomach, that she didn't even notice seconds ago, bust and she has to pull her lips off of Harry's to cry out as her orgasm rips through her. She grinds down her pussy as hard as she can at first, but suddenly her clit becomes too sensitive and she jumps up so her crotch is only hovering over his leg. Y/n's breathing heavy on his neck and Harry is being patient with her and lets her body slump over his as he rubs over her naked back to sooth her.

A few moments later once y/n has got her breath more controlled, she whispers, "Sorry about that. Didn't mean to come yet." Harry can hear her embarrassment by the way she speaks. He doesn't want her to feel embarrassed. He actually found it really sexy, watching her come all over his thigh.

"Hey," Harry pulls her face back from his neck so he can look at her face to face, "it's alright. I didn't mind. Just want you to feel goods all and I'm assuming that felt good yeah?"

"Yeah that felt really good." y/n says breathlessly.

"Good." Harry quietly replies and stands up turns them around so that y/n's back is on the mattress. He crawls up on the bed beside her and begins to unzip her jeans with his slow fingers. Then he pulls them down her legs. When he comes back up, he hooks his fingers in the sides of her panties and searches her face for reassurance. When she gives a small smile, Harry proceeds to pull down her soaked panties as well. Y/n is quick to cross her legs but Harry isn't having any of that.

"Y/n, you look amazing. I don't even see any flaws on your body. Alright? I won't judge you for how you look. I'm much smarter than to judge a women's body because I think every women is unique in their own ways." Y/n could literally burst into happy tears right now. She has never had someone speak so highly of her naked body. She always thought she looked ugly and fat but Harry sees otherwise. And she knows Harry is being sincere because from the amount of time she's known him, he's always had the up most respect for everybody but especially women. This is the type of man any women would be praying to marry she thinks to her self.

Harry stands from the bed and reaches down, sliding his sweat pants and boxers off. He isn't the slightest bit embarrassed about what he has. I mean he doesn't go around and brag but he knows he was gifted with a beautiful cock and every girl he's ever slept with has told him that.

Before he gets back on to the bed, Harry grabs a condom from his pocket, remembering safety first because doesn't want to accidently get her pregnant again and then questions, "Umm... how do you want to do this? You on top? Me on top? Whatever you like is what we'll do. Just want you to feel comfortable."

Y/n is falling more and more in love with Harry she thinks. Usually the man does the position he wants to do without even questioning his partner. Not Harry. He's always asked his flings and one-night stands what position they're comfortable in. For many reasons really. One being that the experienced women he's been with usually know what position gets them off the best. Two being that some women are unsure the possibilities of other positions and he will suggest a new position for her to try for the first time and see if she likes it. But for y/n, she's basic when it comes to sex. All her and her baby daddy did was missionary and in the future y/n may want to explore new positions, but right now she wants to just go with the classic. "You on top." she speaks slowly, as if she's unsure of herself.

With that information, Harry crawls up the bed and straddles her thighs. This is the first time y/n has got a clear view of his penis and she is in heaven at the sight. It's beautiful in her eyes. She could picture his cock in a porno or for educational purposes in a text book. It's got a bit of girth but not to girthy. It's long. Like very long. She guesses 8 inches or more. He isn't circumcised but that doesn't matter to her. A perfect cock to her is natural. Not one that's had surgery before. (Unless it was for health reasons.)

She hadn't even realized she was staring until Harry breaks the silence with, "Do you want to put it on," referring to the condom in his hand, "or me?"

"Oh um, you can." y/n speaks shyly. This was their first time being together sexually and she wanted to do the least possible things that could end in her embarrassment. Yes she has a child but she lacks in sexual experience. Her and her ex boyfriend was super young when they began having sex and neither of them really knew what they were doing. After Emma was born, they had sex a couple of times but like mentioned earlier, it was basic sex that she didn't even get off from.

Harry takes the condom from the wrapper and rolls it on his hard length, making sure to leave tip loose so his cum has somewhere to go. He's an expert at using condoms because with his career, he can't risk getting anyone pregnant. When the condom is perfectly secure, he hovers over y/n, supported by his muscular arms, and bends down to reconnect their lips. While kissing, Harry glides his hand down her body until his fingers meet her groomed pussy. He avoids her sensitive clit and dips a finger between her lips to see how wet she is. He knew she was some degree of wet from her recent orgasm but Harry being Harry, he wanted to be extra cautions and make sure she is wet enough for intercourse.

At the feeling of his fingers caressing her slit, y/n moans into his mouth. Harry can clearly feel she's wet enough for him. She's already dripping on the bed sheets. He removes his hand from her wet pussy and places it around his latex wrapped cock. He positions his tip at her entrance and begins to slide it in. "Mhm." y/n whimpers at the pressure between her legs.

"You alright? Just need to let me know if I need to stop and I will." Harry heaves out, looking down at the beautiful women below him.

"Yeah I'm good. Just tighter than I thought I'd be and its a bit uncomfortable but I don't want you to stop. Keep going." she says back.

"You're defiantly not loose I can tell you that. Feel like I could already burst and I'm not even half way in." Harry tells y/n, with his face contorting from the pleasure he's receiving. He takes his time sliding into her tight walls. Maybe its the fact that she had her daughter 11 years ago but with all the milfs he's slept with, Harry's never had any to be this tight. Not that any were loose but this is virgin level tight. And he's had sex with many virgins so he's well equipped in that area as well.

Harry finally makes it all the way in and stays still to allow y/n to adjust. While painfully waiting, he kisses along her jaw and neck, trying his best to comfort her and help her relax. They aren't dating officially yet so he doesn't want to scare her off with too much affection, but they know each other more than just a one-night stand would. He feels some kind of an emotional connection with her and Harry hopes she feels the same. So until she states otherwise, he feels its okay to show her sex is much more than stick it in, pump three times, cum inside female, and retract. It's about feeling vulnerable and letting euphoria take away your worries from the day. Even with the many one-night stands Harry has had, he made sure they always had the best time and even gave them proper after care when it was all over with.

"You can move now." y/n shakily says aloud while keeping a tight hold around his back with her arms. Harry pulls back his hips slowly and pushes them down to meet his hip bones with hers. His pubic hair grazing her trimmed mound. She moans but Harry can tell it isn't filled with complete pain. Y/n is beginning to enjoy it which is a good sign.

Repeatedly, Harry thrust in and out of y/n at a slow rate, not wanting to go too fast for her but she needs more. She's not feeling any more pain and her tummy is coiling up fast. To be honest, she's only ever came from penetration and penetration specifically once and it was by accident. One of the first times y/n and her ex boyfriend had sex, he was pounding into her and he angled just right and her body went into a frenzy. She's only ever felt that level of pleasure from her clit. So when her ex randomly hit her g-spot, she lost control of her body. Which was scary for y/n because she didn't fully trust him. Not that he was super evil and would do harm to her but in the state her body was in and the level of knowledge he knew at that time, she was scared to let go completely in his presence. With Harry, she feels completely safe. Even a little too safe if that's even a possibility. She may be older than him but his knowledge on sex makes her feel twice as young in the moment.

"Har....ry can..can you maybe go faster please. Feels so good." y/n moans below him.

"Mhmm of course love." Harry whispers in her ear and if he was in a different situation, he might have scolded himself for using the word 'love' but he couldn't find a reason to care right now. He listens to her request and starts to pick up his pace. The sound of skin slapping skin aluminates the hotel room, along with heavy breathing and low moans. Neither of them feel 100% comfortable moaning freely because this is their first time and both are a little self conscious.

Without stopping his steady pace, Harry brings his hands down from their position by y/n's head and grabs both of her legs, wrapping them around his waist. This creates her hips to elevate more and allows Harry to rub her g-spot repeatedly. Instantly, y/n throws her head back on the pillow below her and subconsciously digs her nails into his back muscles. Harry can defiantly feel the marks it's bound to leave but actually enjoys the sting it brings.

Over and over Harry's hips pound into her pussy and y/n knows she's close. When her ex boyfriend and her had sex and the rare times she actually did come, she never would tell him. She'd just crumble from her climax and her ex would soon follow. So right now she's debating on if she should warn Harry her orgasm is coming or just let go freely. Is that even a normal thing to say during sex? Letting your partner know you're about to release? Y/n didn't know the answer to those questions.

With Harry's knowledge and skills on sex and all things sexual, he can pick up on the signs that lets him know the female is about to come. By the way they hold their breath for seconds at a time. By the way their legs start shaking and chest heaves rapidly. And the biggest sign of them all are the vaginal contractions. When the female is close to or is in the process of having an orgasm, they squeeze their stomach muscles, which in return squeezes their vaginal walls that the male is penetrating in. Right now Harry can feel and see all the signs that y/n is on the cusp of letting go.

To help y/n reach her release faster, Harry brings one of his hands down to her throbbing clit and begins to rub pressured circles into it. This causes y/n to jerk and squirm and wanting to let her know that she doesn't have to hold on any more, Harry takes a deep breath and says in a dry voice, "You can let go y/n. Come on my fingers and cock."

With the reassurance from Harry, y/n finally feels comfortable and safe to let go. The way his fingers work perfectly on her clitoris. The way his long cock rubs her g-spot with every thrust. The amount of pleasure she's receiving is too much and she orgasms all over his dick. Her body shakes uncontrollably and her back arches off the bed, making her breast press against Harry's. She digs the heels of her feet into his ass cheeks. There is sweat rolling down her face. Her mind is completely blank and for the first time in her life, y/n has let go physically and mentally. The comfort of Harry allowing her to feel safe enough to do that.

Harry soon follows his release with hers. He's been holding off this entire time from how beautiful she looks and how tight she is, but feeling y/n squeeze his cock, he ejaculates ropes of cum in the condom. He lets little grunts escape his lips and is too deep in a state of pleasure to care if he sounds ridiculous or not.

Harry removes his fingers from y/n's clit and stops his hips from moving. Then he gently falls on her chest and buries his face in her sweaty neck. Both of them are heaving heavily, coming down from their highs. All y/n is thinking about is how that was the best sex she's ever had. Well she's only had sex with one other person so its not much to compare to, but it was way better than her ex ever gave her. Harry is thinking the same thoughts. That was some of the best sex he's ever had. Maybe because he's truly catching feels for y/n but on all levels: emotionally, physically, and mentally, that was the best sex he's ever experienced.

After laying together and catching their breath for a few minutes, Harry gets up to go into the hotel bathroom and fetch y/n a cloth to help her clean up. He comes back a minute later and carefully wipes over her sensitive pussy with the damp cloth and then helps her put on her underwear and bra so she's more comfortable. Harry does the same with himself. He puts his underwear back on so y/n doesn't feel weirded out or uncomfortable around him.

Nervously Harry asks, "You can stay if you'd like? I know its late and I'd hate for you to drive back to your hotel at 3:00 in the morning."

"Alright but I need to make sure I wake up a bit earlier than my normal time so I have time to go back to my hotel and get dressed before I have to be on set for hair and makeup." y/n replies back with a sleepy smile. Harry is very happy she decided to stay. He's never kicked one-night stands out after having sex but he's never asked them to stay either. He usually loves to cuddle with them even if they barley know each other because Harry is just a cuddly person. But he has to remember that y/n isn't some one-night stand. She's a women that does his hair and makeup on his movie set that he just so happens to have caught feelings for.

Harry goes around the room turning all the lights out and pads over to the bed where y/n is laying. He peels the covers back and slides in. At first he's scared to try and cuddle her. He doesn't even know is she likes cuddles when she sleeps. She may be the type of person who loves their space because they get too hot or just feel claustrophobic when someone is too close. So instead of trying to cuddle y/n, he just lays on his back and stays awkwardly silent. Its y/n who brakes that silence. "Do you like to cuddle." she whispers shyly.

Y/n is a very cuddly person herself. She doesn't get to cuddle many people but when she does, she loves it. Makes her feel safe and secure. She was nervous to ask Harry that question. Y/n just didn't know she was reading Harry's mind. "I love cuddles. Was gonna ask you the same thing but got too scared. Didn't know if you'd like that or not." Harry responds just as shyly. Y/n scoots over and hesitantly lays her head on his tattooed chest, right on his heart beat. He excepts her body instantly and wraps his arms around her back, shoving his face in her untamed hair. Then with the heavy hotel comforter on top of them, they fall asleep is a comfortable silence.

-ENDING OF THE FLASHBACK TO THE NIGHT THAT REALLY STARTED Y/N & HARRY'S RELATIONSHIP

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CONTINUING Y/N & HARRY'S START AND JOURNEY INTO THEIR RELATIONSHIP-

Surprisingly after the night that y/n and Harry had sex in his hotel room, it wasn't that awkward between them. He came into her trailer to have his hair and makeup done for his scenes of that day, and brought her a cup of coffee like usual. Harry did notice she acted a little shy, but didn't question it too much because he knew it was probably just in her nature. Being that intimate with someone and then acting like it didn't happened would be hard for anyone he thinks.

The days went on and finally the movie came to a wraps. Y/n felt really sad but Harry didn't. Well he was gonna miss his fellow actors that he was with each day but Harry knew he'd see y/n again. They actually made plains to meet up when they arrived back in LA. They still hadn't labeled what their relationship was at this time but they both knew it was more than a friendship. Both Harry and y/n were just afraid to say it. To say it was turning into a relationship.

For many reasons really. Y/n was scared to actually be in a relationship because she was afraid of Harry leaving her like her ex boyfriend did. She didn't want to put her daughter through that again. Also she knew being in a relationship with Harry came with a lot more baggage then she even had. She never thought it through properly, but Harry is famous famous. Y/n was good with taking criticism and hate but she knew that some people in his fan base was ruthless. And having Emma exposed to all that was something that terrified her.

Harry was scared to call what they had a relationship for many reasons as well. He knew that most of his actual relationships never lasted long due to them not being able to take online criticism very well. It would always get too much and they'd leave. He never really blamed them because he knew what his life entailed. The paparazzi and stalkers. The millions of fans that caught his every move. Also Harry was afraid of commitment. Not that he was scared he'd accidently cheat because he was getting tired of the same person each day, but afraid that one day he would realize it just wasn't meant to be and brake her heart. It would kill him to see y/n's heart get broken over something that wasn't even her fault.

When they got back to Los Angeles, y/n told her daughter Emma about Harry. Emma being a moody preteen was not pleased. Emma didn't care if he was famous. She lived in California where she'd walk by celebrities on the streets, so it was a normal occurrence for her to casually see someone famous. Not to mention her mum working on movie sets and getting autographs and photos with them all the time and bringing them home to show her.

When Harry got a break from his movie promo, he invited y/n and Emma to come to his home. Harry was always cautions as to who he let come to his house. If he ever gave his address to the wrong person, they could share it online for millions to see and he'd end up having to move. But he trusted y/n and wanted to spend some time with her that wasn't in some tiny trailer on a beach in France. Even if that meant Emma had to tag along. If Emma was a part of y/n's life than he'd fully except that.

At first, Emma was shy towards Harry. She knew he was really nice and she liked that her mum was happy, but she had deep rooted trust issues that her father gave her. So any man that her mum tried to be friends with or attempted to date, she would stay cautious and keep a guard up at all times. Also something that Emma found weird and hard to fully except was their age difference. Not that she found anything wrong with it but her mum already had her at a young age and Harry being younger. That would have made him like 12 or something when she was born.

Two months of being back in LA and they made it official. Y/n and Harry were dating. They still choose to keep it on the downlow from the media, but to them and close family, they were a couple. Emma was upset at first but finally excepted it. Her excepting it didn't mean that she was over the moon but she warmed up to the idea more than she had before.

They couldn't do normally dating activities like go to the movies or eat at fancy restaurants because of potential paparazzi, but Harry always tried to make up for that. He'd instead take y/n to his private beach in Malibu and they'd go hiking in the forest. Y/n would get her parents to watch Emma so she could stay the night over at Harry's house on weekends. They'd watch Netflix and cuddle on the couch. Have sex when they got the chance. Life was going good for them.

Through-out all of 2017 and 2018, Harry and y/n continued dating. They had bumps along the way but nothing that they couldn't work through. Y/n still worked as a hair and makeup artist for movie actress and actors. Harry still wrote and preformed music, along with a few acting gigs here and there. Y/n even moved in with Harry at his Los Angeles home a year into officially dating. Along with Emma of course. He gave Emma one of his many spare bedrooms. Harry could actually see himself marring y/n.

She had everything that Harry looked for in a partner. Y/n had a nice personality. Always caring for others. She didn't have the perfect body but that's what made Harry fall in love with her from the start. She didn't care about what others thought of her. Except for Harry because he was the only one who mattered. She was an exceptional cuddlers in bed. And watching y/n and Emma's relationship, it made Harry question what it would be like to see her holding a baby. A new baby. Their baby.

Harry also grew to love Emma. He noticed that she was very timid and shy around him at first but as time grew, she came around. He knew why she was being closed off because y/n explained a lot about their past a few months into dating. Not wanting to keep him out of the loop for too long. So Harry never held it against her or got aggravated with her when she didn't want to share certain things with him or just wanted to be around her mum. He knew how hard it was for him at the age of 8 when his mum and dad got divorced and his mum started dating someone. It took him a while to except his stepdad into his life, but eventually Harry considered Robin his father. Not step but just dad. He was devastated when he got the news of his passing and had to take a trip back to England for the funeral. Harry invited y/n and Emma but they declined saying it was a private family matter that they didn't want to intrude on.

In January of 2019, they got engaged. Harry purposed to y/n during a lovely picnic on his private beach in Malibu. Just him and her and the beautiful Pacific. He was very scared to ask her. What if y/n thought their relationship was moving too fast. They'd been together for a little over 2 years but some couples wait a decade before getting engaged and married. The one thing that made Harry brave enough to actually purpose was all the conversations they'd have late at night or on long distant car rides. Conversations about starting a family together. What it'd be like to have babies they made together. What it'd be like to be officially tied to each other for life. He couldn't see a life without y/n at that point.

Y/n said yes without second thoughts. She loved Harry. Was in love with Harry. And she loved how excepting Harry was of Emma. He never tried to exclude her from things. Always wanting her to be a part of their relationship. Except when he wanted alone time with y/n. They would finally be a proper family. Even though they both knew that a ring or a certificate didn't have to be necessary for them to not already be a proper family. Because they were already a family in their eyes. Harry just wanted to make y/n his wife so they were solidified.

In June of 2019, they had their wedding. It was a small wedding on the same beach Harry purposed to y/n on. They had only close family and friends. Harry's mum and sister came to California all the way from England. Y/n's immediate family were there. It was just what they wanted. Simple but sweet and very private.

Unfortunately the wedding announced their relationship to the public. With all the pictures their friends and family took and posted to Instagram, it was fast news in the Harry Styles fan base as well as major media outlets. Because they had been together for a couple of years, most of Harry's dedicated fans already knew about their relationship. Being as secretive as possible but still trying to live life so the odd appearance of them together would leak. Well it was never set in stone for them but they just assumed and most got it right. Some of his fans didn't take the news well. Saying it was fake and their relationship wasn't real. A stunt as some fans said. Other fans were just happy that Harry was happy. Then a couple fans were just sad and jealous but none the less happy. In the end though, neither y/n or Harry cared about what the public had to say. It wasn't their business even if Harry or y/n occasionally shared glimpses of their relationship online.

After their wedding and a long long conversation, y/n and Emma moved to London with Harry. Harry was still keeping his Los Angeles home for when he came back to visit or work, but wanted to go back to England because he was getting homesick. He'd travel back to England a few times a year as it was for Christmas or family emergencies, but mainly stayed in California for Emma and y/n. Harry knew that y/n loved her job and Emma went to school, but he came up with other options for the both of them.

Harry actually got y/n a job as a hair and makeup artist for UK singers. Well it's wasn't just UK singers but more or less singers singing in the UK. Like for instance Taylor Swift or Shawn Mendes when they would have concerts somewhere in the UK. Instead of doing the hair and makeup for actors and actress in movies or tv, she would be backstage at arenas and stadiums doing the touch ups on singers and performers hair and makeup when they came backstage for costume changes or during the halftime breaks of concerts. Usually singers would need light powder on their faces due to sweating or need a little hairspray if their hair is falling out of place.

As for Emma, Harry and y/n agreed to put her in a private school located in the heart of London. She had the option for public school but beings as though y/n and Harry had unpredictable schedules with their jobs, they knew that private schools were more lineated on missing as long as its a viable reason. And Harry had the money so why not put Emma in a top learning school that would give her the best education.

Emma wasn't happy at first. Moving to a whole other country was a big change for her. She went to a public school in California where she had friends and she had her grandparents that she loved dearly. Though she did visit England a few times since her mum and Harry's relationship begun, living there would not be the same as visiting for a few days. Also she worried the people at her new school would make fun of her accent. Emma had the typical California accent that you hear in movies and tv. Plus she was worried people would bring up Harry all the time.

Back in California, ever since Emma's mum and Harry's relationship was announced to the public, unintentionally, that's the only thing people talked about with her. How is it like living with Harry Styles? Is it weird I want to fuck your step-dad? Have you ever seen him naked? How often does he and your mum have sex? Emma was tired of people only wanting to talk to her because of who her step-dad was. And anytime those questions would be asked to Emma, it made her want to vomit. He's her fucking step-dad. Yes she can obviously see he's not ugly and has a nice body, but thinking anything sexual about him was gross to her. Emma didn't see Harry in that way. She barley saw him as a dad because of his age and her stubbornness to not let him enter her life completely.

Don't get Emma wrong, she loved Harry and y/n's relationship. She had grown fond of their family of three. It's just Emma never got too close to him or let him into her personal problems. Anytime she had trouble at school or felt troubled in anyway, Emma always went to her mum. Most times y/n would tell Harry anyways so he knew about the issues Emma had, but excepted her daughter still being a little closed off towards him. She knew that Emma was slowly growing from her past trauma of abandonment and was letting Harry closer as each day went past.

Once they moved to England with Harry (late 2019), in his London mansion, y/n started her new job and Emma started her new school. Y/n actually really enjoyed her new job. A lot of the celebrities she worked with, she had either met before from being married to a pop star or knew personally from Harry actually being friends with them. Emma started her new school. In America she was still in middle school but there in England, she was actually going to be in high school. Which she thought would be terrifying but turned out to actually make many friends. Friends who didn't care who her step-dad was. Of course some occasionally asked about Harry, which she didn't mind if it was innocent questions like when he's putting new music out or does he sing around the house a lot, but a few of her friends did like asking invasive questions.

Harry had to explain to Emma what she could and couldn't say about him. Like Emma couldn't go to school and share a unfinished song that he had shared with her and y/n. Or Emma couldn't talk about private matters when it came to his career. That wasn't much of a problem for her anyways because she quite liked knowing she had secrets only she and her family knew about. It was fun to her.

When covid-19 hit the world in the beginning of 2020, all three of their lives were put on hold. Harry couldn't go on tour like he had planed. Y/n didn't have a job because her job required concerts to happen and concerts everywhere had stopped. Though her not working didn't matter financially because being married to Harry, she was already rich, but she was sad because she actually loved her job. Emma had to do school work at home through zoom calls. Other students on zoom would beg her to show Harry on screen or ask her to sneak a candid shot of him doing an everyday task, but she was more respectful then that. Emma knew Harry liked his privacy and she knew how he struggled with finding it and knows his home is one of his safe spaces that she didn't want to mess with. She even had teachers that would try and medal in her home life and ask unnecessary questions just because they knew she lived with Harry. It aggravated her but she just had to ignore it and move on.

So through the remainder of 2020, y/n, Harry, and Emma stayed at home most days doing family activities or doing work related jobs that could be done at home. For Harry it was writing songs. For Emma it was school work. For y/n it wasn't much because she relied on other people in order to do her job but she did give Harry and Emma hair cuts and makeovers when she would get bored.

Now in the current year of 2021 and the world is slowly opening back up. Harry still couldn't tour yet but he got to do the odd radio interview if it was in England. Y/n started getting a few jobs lined up for some small concerts they're allowing to happen. Emma went back to actually attending school. Life was slowly getting back to normal.

Until one day, y/n had to fly back to LA for a friends funeral. A friend she had in school and kept in touch with for a few years after. They hadn't been the best of friends in recent years but still spoke over text every few months. Y/n got the call that her friend was in a horrible car accident in the middle of the night. As soon as she heard the words of her friends name, car, and accident, she broke into hysterical tears. Harry imminently sat up from the bed and comforted y/n by pulling her into his chest and rocked back and forth until she was breathing steady and fell back asleep in his arms.

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(Emma age 16)

CURRENTLY-

Y/n had just left with one of Harry's drivers to the airport so she could get on a plane to fly back to California for her friends funeral. She's gonna be gone for about a week and that leaves Emma and Harry home alone together. Sure they have been home alone together before but just not overnight. Emma was a little nervous to stay with Harry without her mum home. Not that she is scared of him or anything he'll do, but even having been in her life for 5 years now, she still isn't that close to Harry. Close as in hugging or having deep conversations. Still, Harry didn't push her because he could see the progress she was making and knew eventually they'll have a father/daughter bond that he actually wanted. Harry wants to be close to Emma. He loves Emma. He'd do just about anything for her, that's how much he loves her. Even if him and her mum got a divorce, which isn't happening, he'll still make Emma a part of his life.

"Can I maybe go to my friends house for tonight?" Emma asks Harry while they sit in the movie room, minutes after y/n left for the airport.

"Which friends and what will you be doing there?" Harry questions her back. Harry may be young himself but knows how to act like a parent when necessary. He knows all too well how British teens act and doesn't want Emma to be caught up in anything that's not appropriate.

"Umm, just Katie's house and a few others from school. We're hanging out and having a sleepover." Emma responds. Harry knows a few of her friends because on the rare occasion she was aloud to bring friends over they'd meet. Harry has met Katie several times and thinks she's trustable enough.

"Alright but if you need me for anything, anything at all, call me. I'll come pick you. And make sure you have your phone on you incase I need to call and check on you." Harry says to Emma.

With her step-dads permission, Emma goes up to her room and calls Katie to let her know she's able to come over. Then she quickly packs a overnight bag. Once that is done, Emma walks back down to the movie room to ask for a ride. "Harry, could you please drive me over there." she asks shyly.

"Of course, my love." Harry speaks while standing from the sofa. He calls all the women in his life love so he doesn't hesitate before saying it, nor does Emma feel uncomfortable with him saying it. She'd gotten to learn that the British love tossing that word around.

They walk to their home car garage and get in his black Range Rover. His least flashy car. Whenever he does normal things that isn't correlated to his fame, Harry likes driving his most normal car. It draws less attention to him and his family. Harry backs out and drives down their driveway that has a security gate and types in the code before continuing the journey to Katie's house across London.

Katie lives in a fairly big house. She does go to a private school after all so her parents have money. Emma tells Harry directions to her house and he takes her there. Once they arrive, Emma steps out and Harry wishes he could give her a goodbye hug but knows she isn't to that level of comfort with him yet. While backing up, Harry can see a group of teenagers staring out the front window of the house watching him. Presumably drooling over him. Though they didn't ask Emma about her step-dad a lot out of respect, doesn't mean they don't get excited when she talks about him or shows them photos of Harry. Yeah they have a crush on her step-dad but they don't care. As long as they don't share that with Emma.

Harry arrives home about 15 minutes later and decides to call his wife. He wasn't going to mention Emma being at a friends house unless y/n specifically asked because he doesn't want her to be mad at him. They don't allow Emma to stay with friends often because they are very protective parents, but Harry was feeling generous today. After a lengthy phone call with his wife, Harry takes a shower and decides to call it a night. Harry never was one for staying up too late anyways. Unless y/n took part in it and well, everyone knows what's being inferred.

Emma starts off having a great night. She and her school friends do normal teenage stuff. Until Katie decides to sneak a bottle of her parents liquor up to her bedroom. This has Emma caught off guard. She has never drank straight up liquor before. Only ever sips of wine that either her mum or Harry would allow at a fancy dinner. Mainly because the drinking age in the UK was a lot lower than in America, but she was still underage.

"I don't know if this is a good idea." Emma states concernedly to her friends. One thing her British friends learned from Emma, was how much of a scaredy-cat Americans are. Sometimes its for good reasoning and other times they think it's her being ridiculous.

"Oh come on Emma. My mum and dad just left for a friends party and we're here alone. It'll make you feel good. You can only take a sip if you'd like." Katie says to a nervous Emma.

Emma falls under peer pressure. Katie passes the bottle of liquor around the group of friends and they each take a hefty swig. When it gets handed to her, she takes a deep breath and tilts the bottle back, allowing the alcohol to run down her throat. This is nothing like the wine she's drank before. This is so much stronger and it's making her chest burn.

A few minutes later, Emma, Katie, and the rest of their friends downed the whole bottle of liquor. At this point they're all very tipsy and because they're tipsy, they aren't thinking clearly. Therefore they decide to do stupid things like drink more alcohol. They collectively walk down to Katie's kitchen and grab another unopened bottle of liquid poison. They each take turns chugging the newest bottle and before they know it, they're all DRUNK.

To start, they are all laughing and acting foolish like your typical drunks do, but then things go bad quickly. Because Emma doesn't really drink alcohol, her body isn't use to the amount she puts in it and in the short amount of time she's done it in. Her and her friends only started drinking an hour ago and they've downed two large bottles of hard liquor between them. They didn't mix it with anything to dilute the alcohol percentage, so it goes straight into their bloodstreams. Unlike Emma, the rest of her friends are use to drinking. Their parents may not let them drink to this extent but they allow them to drink on weekend and on holidays. They know what being drunk feels like and how to cope with the side effects. Emma doesn't.

They make it back to Katie's bedroom when Emma starts whining out. It isn't a cry and its not a scream. Just something in-between. Abruptly stopping her laughing fit, Katie turns to Emma and asks in a slurred voice, "Emmmma, what's the matter?"

Emma can barley think properly but all she knows is her chest is on fire, her head is spinning, and her stomach is in excruciating pain. Like stabbing pain. Maybe this is what it's like to be drunk she thought. She's never been drunk so she doesn't know, but she always thought people had fun when they were drunk. She isn't having fun anymore. All Emma can mumble out is, "My stomach is hurting so bad."

Katie knows that some people gets terrible stomach aches after drinking the night away or in the mornings due to hangovers, but she's never seen someone complain only an hour after drinking. "It's alright Emma. I'm sure you'll be fine." Katie says but not even sure if she believes her own words. The pain in her chest, head, and stomach get to be too much and Emma starts crying. While crying, she gets on the floor and curls into a ball, not knowing what else to do.

This is when Katie and the rest of their friends know they must do something. Even if that means getting in trouble for drinking themselves. They care about Emma enough to not let her suffer or even die before they would be too scared of getting caught. "Sadie, where is Emma's phone?" Katie near about yells from panic. She barley had a right mind herself but because she's familiar with the state she's in, she can still function to some degree. Their friend Sadie reaches on the bed to grab Emma's phone and hands it to Katie.

Emma is somewhat aware of what they're doing and starts to panic at the thought of them calling Harry. Her friends know her mum is out of town and that Harry is the only one watching her for the week. She never really acts up. She makes all good grades and has respectful manners. The thought of Harry or even her mum finding out she's got drunk at her friends house is terrifying. She'd almost rather die on the floor she's currently laying on then have Harry come get her. But that's too late because Katie is already stumbling out of her bedroom and walking down the hall to call Harry herself.

Katie is more than terrified to have to call Emma's step-dad at 12:00 in the morning and tell him his step-daughter is basically drunk and its all her fault, but she isn't going to let Emma die and that's what looks like is happening. She is also scared to call Harry because he's Harry, Harry Styles. The person she has naughty thoughts about on the daily. Pushing all those thoughts to the side, she unlocks Emma's phone and searches for Harry's name, then pushes call.

Harry is asleep in him and his wife's bed alone, wishing he has his cuddle buddy when his phone rings. Normally he wouldn't think much of it but because his wife is in a different country with different time zones, he thinks it might just be her. Then he thinks it could be Emma because she's at a friends house tonight. Harry sits up with squinting eyes and answers his phone that's charging on his night stand.

"Hello." Harry answers in a sleep ridden voice.

Katie takes a deep breath and prays her words don't come out slurred, "Umm yes this is Katie, Emma's friend. So umm Emma kind of got drunk and now she's on the floor crying and saying her stomach is hurting baldly."

Harry imminently jumps out of bed to searches for some proper cloths while keeping the phone to his ear with the help of his shoulder. "What the fuck! Why was she drinking??" Harry near about yells as his mind is racing to all the possibilities of what could happen to Emma.

"Well we kind of snuck my parents liquor because they went to a party with friends and everyone else is fine, but Emma just had a bad reaction." Katie says in a small voice.

Harry thinks Katie is absolutely mental. Of course Emma is going to have a negative reaction. She's 16 with a body weight of 120 pounds and she doesn't drink alcohol. Then Harry has to remind himself that Katie and the rest of their friends are very young and may not have known that though. He wants to be mad but is just thankful that they had the decency to actually call him and put themselves at risk of getting in trouble.

While grabbing his keys by the garage door, Harry questions out of breath, "Is she conscious? You need to make sure she stays conscious!"

"Yes, yes Emma is awake. She's just crying and in pain." Kate responds quickly to hopefully bring down Harry's nerves a bit.

Sighing in relief and driving out of their car garage, he speaks back to Katie on the phone, "Tell her I'm on my way and make sure she's on her side incase she pukes."

The call ends and Harry rushes to Katie's house. He's completely awake now and full of adrenaline, worried about his step-daughter even though he views her as his own daughter. His hands are shaking as he grips the wheel with nerves and is afraid that Emma has alcohol poisoning which would be the worst possible scenario.

While Harry is on his way, Katie and Sadie manages to get Emma off the floor and they carry her down the stairs, setting her on the couch. Emma cries the whole time from the amount of pain she's in. Then a loud knock comes from the front door. Katie, the owner of the house, runs to answer it knowing it's probably Harry. Even though she has been dyeing to meet him, she'd much rather not have to meet him this way. When Harry is probably mad at her.

Katie opens the door quickly and unsteadily walks Harry to where Emma is curled up on the sofa. And though she knows now isn't the right time, she can't help but think about how sexy Harry looks, even if he's just woken up and is wearing grey sweat pants and a black hoodie. Harry walks over to Emma, ignoring her friends all together, and squats down beside the couch. Then he cradles her jaw in his hand and wipes away some of her tears that can't seem to stop. "Shhh you're alright. Tell me what's hurting you!" Harry speaks as calmly as possible in his state of anxiety.

Barley opening her mouth, Emma slurs' with pointing fingers, "My chest is burning and my head is dizzy and my stomach feels like someone is stabbing me."

"Shhh you're gonna be okay my love. Try and breath for me. I'm gonna take you home." Harry tells her.

Without worrying about her overnight bag, Harry picks Emma's unstable body up from the fetal position she's in on the sofa and makes his way out the door. Katie hands Harry her phone so at least she doesn't go home without that. He takes Emma's phone and slips it into his hoodie pockets. Right before he exits the front door, Harry stops and says what he only thinks is right to say to her friends. "Look, I'm grateful that you girls called me to let me know something was wrong but its still very wrong of you to have let her drink or even drink yourselves. Something very bad could have happened tonight. Emma isn't used to drinking like most British teens are and her body isn't taking it well. When is your parents going to arrive home?" Harry ends his speech with that question because he's nervous about leaving two drunk girls home alone even though he can clearly see they are sobering up from the current events taking place.

"They're on their way." Katie says softly and avoiding eye contact because Harry scolding her is making her feel embarrassed. Rightfully so though.

Harry excepts her answer and continues his walk to his Range Rover parked by the street with Emma clung to his body. He wants to be angry with her as well. He wants to tell her she was so stupid for even taking a sip of alcohol, but understands what peer pressure is like and also feels terribly bad for his step-daughter right now. She looks helpless and in a lot of pain. He remembers his first time getting drunk and it didn't end well. He got in so much trouble that he was scared to even touch alcohol until he joined One Direction. He doesn't want Emma to fear alcohol like he had. He just wants to educate her on the risks and dangers of drinking it like she had done.

Harry opens the back door to his car and carefully places Emma across his backseat, laying her down on her side. He figures her sitting up causes a lot of pain since she's been laying down and he wants her to be as comfortable as possible. But he also wants her to lay on her side incase she throws up to avoid choking. He's dealt with many drunk people in his time to know how to properly take care of one. Harry just wishes it didn't have to be someone he loves dearly as far as them being this drunk in the first place. Not that he doesn't want to take care of a loved one who's drunk because he would rather it be him taking care of them so he knows their in good hands.

Once Emma is situated, Harry gets in the drivers seat and drives off in the dark. He can hear Emma whimpering in the backseat with her arms around her middle and knows once they get home, she must throw up the liquor. There is no way in hell Harry is letting her fall asleep with that much alcohol in her system.

Five minutes away from their gated neighborhood, and without warning, Harry hears the sounds of loud retching from the backseat. As soon as he turns his head to glance back, all he sees is a gush of vomit expel from Emma's mouth and onto his back floorboard. Now's the time Harry is mentally cursing himself for not bringing a bag or something to catch her potential puke in. "Shit." Harry curses out loud. The only thing keeping him able to continuing driving is knowing she's on her side and safe and the fact they are seconds from pulling into their long driveway.

They finally arrive back home from Harry's trip across London at 1:00 in the morning and he quickly exits the vehicle to be by his step-daughters aid. Opening the back door, he gets a clear view at the mess created. Harry has never been too well with handling vomit because of his weak stomach but right now, he's in dad mode. "Come ere' sweetheart." Harry softly speaks to Emma who's out of it, while carefully pulling her body out of the car and into his hold again knowing she's unable to walk. When her face lands on his shoulder, he knows she just got puke on his hoodie from her face being covered in it but blocks it out so he doesn't end up with two puking people. Right as he's shutting the back door of his vehicle, with Emma once again clung to him like a koala bear, he makes a mental note to call someone to come clean the vomit out the car tomorrow or he'll have a big problem.

While Harry is half way up the stairs inside their house, he hears Emma slur in his neck, "I don't feel good." This has him picking up his pace to avoid another vomit accident.

"It's alright. We're almost to the bathroom." Harry replies.

Thankfully they make it to his and y/n's bathroom before Emma pukes again. Harry sets her down in front of the toilet and grabs an elastic band to pull back her hair. The hair that already has small bits of vomit in it unfortunately. Then he pulls the soiled hoodie over his head and throws it in the clothes basket located in the corner of the master bathroom. After that, he comes to sit directly behind his step-daughter and positions her head over the toilet so he doesn't have to clean the floors afterwards.

Emma dry heaves in the bowl and Harry waits patiently for her to throw up, while rubbing over her back. "Come on darling. Throw up and your stomach will feel so much better afterwards." he coos to her. Right after the words leave his mouth, she pukes again but this time in a place where clean up isn't necessary. Harry is somewhat glad its pure alcohol she's throwing up and not chunks of rotten food. It doesn't look as disgusting but still looks unpleasing to the eye.

When Emma feels her stomach calm down, she raises her head and feels the urge to cry. This is the moment she finds out she's an emotional drunk. Some, like her friends, are giggly and laughing drunks, but not her sadly. Emma isn't crying because she's in pain like she was earlier. Now she's crying from guilt. Guilt that she even let herself get this drunk in the first place. Guilt that Harry had to drive across the city to come pick her up in the middle of the night. Her mind is much more clearer since throwing up all that alcohol and now just wants to die from guilt, shame, and embarrassment.

If she was sober, Emma wouldn't hug Harry. She's never too affection with him as far as normal father/daughter relationships typically are. Like hugging him. Telling him she loves him. Come to him with her problems. Harry wishes more than anything that she would open up towards him and allow him to be a proper father to her. He'd love to have daily hugs from her and give her warm cuddles when she isn't feeling well, but Emma hasn't been ready for that type of relationship with her step-dad. Right now though, she doesn't care that the part of her brain that has lasting trauma is telling her not to let Harry too close. That he'll only love her now and leave her later, just like her biological father did.

When Emma turns around completely from the acid filled toilet to face Harry, she without hesitation, lunges forward and engulfs him in a tight hug. Harry is taken back at first but then wraps his arms securely around her frail body and rocks them back and forth on the bathroom floor, as he lets her cry in his hold. "I'm sorry....I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Emma keeps repeating on his shoulder. "I didn't mean to get drunk." Even though Harry is aggravated that she fell under the peer pressure of her friends and this situation could have been so much worse, he can't be mad at her. Not when this is her first time being drunk and doesn't quite know what's happening to her body. She's just helpless at this point and needs to be comforted, not yelled at or scolded. Harry knows he must reassure her that it's alright and he's not upset with her so she can calm down and stop her uncontrollable crying.

"Hey," Harry begins, "I'm not angry okay. Slightly disappointed but its alright. I love you and I'm just happy you're okay and something bad didn't happen to you." Harry tells Emma he loves her all the time and never gets one in return, but that's okay to him. He knows deep down she loves him. She just has a hard time saying it .

A few minutes later, when Emma's stomach seems to be settled, Harry helps her off the floor and sets her on the bathroom counter. He wipes her face off with a wash cloth and drags a few strands through the cloth as well to get out remints of vomit. She can barley hold her head up but he prevents her from falling with his strong arms. Fortunately, Emma somehow didn't get puke on her clothes so she's fine to sleep in what she has on. Then Harry picks her body up and carries her over to y/n and his bed. He doesn't want Emma to sleep in her room alone in case she happens to throw up again and starts choking.

Once Emma is laid down on her mums side of the bed, Harry tells her he'll be right back and leaves to go grab her a glass of water. When he returns, Emma is half asleep but forces her to sit up anyways and helps her hold the glass to chug the water. He needs her to flush her system as much as possible. Yes she threw up most of the alcohol, but that doesn't mean there isn't still some left in her system. The water should dilute what's left in her stomach and eliminate the toxins alcohol creates. After Emma completely drinks the full glass of water, Harry goes to grab a trash can and sets it on the floor beside the bed nearest to her, in case she feels sick at any point during the rest of the early morning. Then goes to turn off all the lights and crawls back into bed.

Harry was gonna give Emma her proper space. He knew she wasn't very affectionate with him even though they shared a loving hug in the bathroom minutes prior. And even though he wanted a more affectionate relationship with his step-daughter, he did slightly feel uncomfortable because it felt new for him.

Right as Harry's mind started drifting back to sleep on his side of the bed, Emma starts shifting beside him. He gets worried she's feeling sick again but suddenly senses her body close to his. He lays as still as possible to see what she's doing. Maybe its her drunken mind or maybe its her disobeying the negative thoughts in her head that warn her not to get close to her step-dad (not necessarily physically but more so emotionally) because he'll only hurt in the future, but she scoots over towards his body and without much thought, places her head on his chest and curls up in his side. Harry just lays there in a bit of shock and before he has the chance to ask her what she's doing, Emma speaks. "I love you. I'm happy you're in mine and my moms life. You make her really happy you know. You also make me happy whether you know it or not. I just have a weird way of showing it because of these thoughts in my head that tell me not to let you too close. That you'll only hurt me by leaving me one day. Just like my real dad did to me." Her voice cracks when she mentions her biological dad and Harry stays quiet to let her continue. "But I want to be closer with you. I want to have a bond with you that I never got with my real dad. I want to one day feel confident enough to call you dad or refer you to my friends as dad instead of step-dad or Harry. You may only be a step-dad to me but you're so much better than my real dad ever was. I can't thank you enough. I love you." she finishes off with the second I love you and Harry has tears in his eyes. Good thing they're in the dark because he doesn't want her to know how much her words affected him.

Taking a deep breath to control his emotions and while rubbing up and down Emma's back soothingly, Harry says in a quiet voice, "Emma, I love you so so so much. When your mum first told me she had a daughter, I wasn't, not even for a second, upset or disliking of that thought. I told her that if this relationship works out, you'd be a part of my life just as much as she would. Well that relationship did work out and I ended up marrying your beautiful and amazing mother. I'm so happy you and your mum are a part of my life now. I couldn't be more happy. You both bring me joy and happiness each day that I don't think I would have found otherwise. And I will never EVER leave you like your father did. Even if one day me and your mum get a divorce, I'll still make you a part of my life. But we aren't getting a divorce in the seeable future so don't worry. Just know I love your mum and I love you very much and nothing will ever change that. Not even a mistake that happened like tonight. I was a teenager once and know all about the peer pressure friends can put on you. Know that even when you do wrong, I'll love you because that's how unconditional love works. No matter what someone does, if you love them unconditionally, nothing can ever change that, alright."

When Harry finishes his heart to heart speech that he was giving to Emma, he looks down and sees her softly snoring on his chest. He wonders if she got any of what he just spilled out, but really doesn't care either way because just saying all that out loud was therapeutic for him. What Harry isn't aware of is Emma did hear most of his words. The important words at least. The words that meant the most. Harry pulls the duvet up higher on their bodies so they don't get cold and quickly falls asleep, with her body half way on top of his, due to the state of exhaustion his body is in from all the running around he's done tonight. Now he has to debate if he should tell his wife what went on tonight of keep it a secret between him and Emma!

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AN: Please let me know which part of this story you would like a whole "chapter" on. For example, their wedding. I just briefly mentioned that their wedding took place but if you'd like a play by play on their wedding day, I can write that. Or if you want moments from when they are dating and y/n is staying at his house. What ever you want me to go more into detail with, I'll write or things I didn't add but stuff that could have happened in-between their storyline that I can make up for this universe.

MASTERLIST & My Favorite Harry Styles Fics MASTERLIST

My Longer One Shots or Series Masterlist

[peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology]

Tom Holland

Last Updated: 04/11/23

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Symbol Guide:

🖤 = angst

💖 = fluff

 🔥 = smut

Headcanons

Caring for You 💖 - (mob au!)

All the little things Tom does to take care of you

One-Shots

The Angel Nextdoor 💖🖤 - (artist au!)

Tom’s latest assignment might just give him the push he needs to finally confess his feelings

You Need a Massage 💖 

You try to help Tom relax after a long shoot 

Could’ve Been 💖

You think Tom could’ve been nicer today

Reunion 💖 - (dad au!)

You’re not feeling well the night of your reunion

Tea Time 💖

Tom tries to convince you to like tea

Rich & Sad  🖤

Tom is rich, but he’s also sad

Ink 💖

Tom uses your tattoos to calm down

Protective 💖🖤 - (mob au!)

Tom get protective

In His Feels 💖

Tom gets caught up in his feels

Coming Home 💖🖤 - (mob au!)

You and Tom offer each other some much needed comfort

Long Distance 💖🖤

You’ve got some things to talk about when Tom gets home

Rough Nights 💖🖤

Tom comforts you during a panic attack

Making it Worse 💖 - (rich kid au!)

The AC goes out, Tom thinks he can fix it himself

Let’s Give It a Shot 💖🖤 - (lifeguard au!)

Tom shows you exactly why you love him so much

Told You So 💖 - (rich kid/camp counselor au!)

Tom refuses to wear sunblock

Penguins and Popsicles 💖 

You and Tom spend the day at the fair

Twister with a Twist 💖

Tom wants to play Twister, but he doesn’t play fair

Drive Thru Wedding 💖🖤

You have a drive thru wedding with your best friend

Familiar Faces 💖🖤 

You run into someone very familiar at a cafe, you think it’s funny but Tom isn’t amused at all

Deals with the Devil 💖🖤

You’re certain that you can fix your relationship, no matter what the risk to yourself is

Doggy Dancing 💖

Tom is confused when he finds you're trying to teach Tessa how to dance

Family Dinner 💖 - (mob au!)

You and Tom are hosting family dinner 

Baby's Coming 💖 - (mob au!)

You and Tom are excited to have your first grand-baby

Until Your Last Breath 💖🖤 - (lifeguard au!)

Tom’s having a hard time committing

Baby Blues 💖🖤 - (mob au!)

You’re struggling to get back to normal after the birth of your son

New Friends 💖 - (mob au!)

You're starting to get homesick and Tom will do anything to make you feel better

Charm Bracelets 💖 - (rich kid/camp counselor au!)

Tom wants to make you something to show you how much he loves you

First Mate 💖🖤 - (frat au!)

Tom throws a party with special plans for you and him, unfortunately someone else also has their eye on you

Skinny Dipping 💖

Tom wants to try skinny dipping

Old Flings 💖🖤

You and Tom run into an old fling

Series Masterlists

Into the Rush 💖🖤 

Pairing: Snowboarder!Tom x Reader

Status: Completed

Your new job at a ski lodge introduces you to Tom Holland, a cocky snowboarder who you (mostly) can’t stand. You’re determined not to be sucked in no matter how charming he is, but you find that’s much easier said than done.

Wipeout 💖🖤🔥

Pairing: Surfer!Tom x Reader

Status: Completed

Hooking up with Tom seemed like a great idea, he was a pretty boy, a carefree surfer, one of your best friends. You knew he’d never want anything more than sex and that was perfect for you. It was the perfect arrangement, until it wasn’t. Now you two are struggling to save your friendship while you navigate your new and confusing emotions. 

[jeonqukie]

PLAYING CUPID / 01.

SYNOPSIS / Consistently overshadowed by your older sister, you expect your days in high school to be filled with plastic smiles and apathetic peers with hidden intentions. Everything changes when four of the most popular guys in school join you and your best friend for lunch on the first day of school.

FEATURING / Kim Namjoon; appearances by Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, and Jeon Jungkook.

GENRES & TAGS / high school au, freshman reader, senior namjoon, student council president namjoon, best friend jungkook, lots of fluff, and some angst.

WARNINGS / Graphic and mature language, slight age difference/gap (to clarify, oc is 14-15 yrs old and namjoon is 17 - first part is rated pg); list will be updated as fic is updated accordingly.

WORD COUNT / ~10.3k

NOTES / I am a day late in posting this and I want to let you guys know that this is... not edited at all and I will be looking through this every now and then to correct any errors. But I hope you enjoy the first part of this series! I wasn’t expecting this to be relatively long, but it was all to set up the characters dynamics and the history behind the reader and Namjoon’s relationship. Any feedback is appreciated. To repeat, I’m so sorry this was super late. Please expect part 2 to be up in ~2 weeks. (´｡• ᵕ ��｡`) ♡

All rights reserved © jeonqukie (formerly known as aiscka). All (or portions) of my work may not be reproduced, redistributed, reclaimed, translated, modified, or used in any way whatsoever without my permission.

“You’re Sena’s little sister, right?”

You’d be a damn millionaire if you made a dollar for every person on campus tried to break the ice with you. It was a severe understatement to say that your older sister was known around town. She was vice president of the student council, president of the debate club, and the best player on the varsity volleyball team. All of the teachers and faculty adored her, every girl wanted to be her, and every guy wanted to be with her.

For the longest time, you assumed your sister was a celebrity on campus.

You were so wrong.

It was because you never met him. You’ve heard his name so many times whenever your sister had sleepovers with her friends or when she was on the phone with a friend, whispering so softly into the receiver, afraid that someone would find out about that she had a crush on him. You were perplexed because you thought your sister was a very forward person; she had so much confidence talking to so many guys who desperately wanted her attention yet somehow her palms would sweat over him.

“Hey, you know who Kim Namjoon is?” You would sit at the cafeteria for the first time with your best friend, Jungkook, who had devoured half of his ham and cheese croissant sandwich. He looks at you and he would raise one brow.

“Oh no, don’t tell me you’re one of those girls who’s obsessed with hyung.” But Jungkook sees the genuine confusion form on your face. You catch a glimpse of your older sister who sat on the other side of the cafeteria, thumbing a reply on her phone while her friend nudges at her when she sees the notorious posse that every girl swoons over.

It was a scene right out of a movie.

At that time, you had the faintest idea who they were, but you were quick to find out why they were so well known around campus. Jung Hoseok was the senior of the group; he was a dancer and was featured in numerous music videos by well-known artists and he had an extensive list of choreographers willing to work with him. Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin were inseparable; they were juniors who ran the school newspaper and the school yearbook – Taehyung being in charge of the photography while Jimin being in charge of the organizing the yearbook staff. Meanwhile, there was Kim Namjoon; student council president, valedictorian of his class, member of the honor society and numerous organizations on campus.

“Wait, you know who Namjoon is?” You were curious whether Jungkook knew of him, not exactly knowing the guy.

“Yeah. I mean, he’s been my next-door neighbor for god knows how long. His folks and mine go out for golfing twice a month.” You just nod to his answer when you are shoving a chocolate moon pie into your mouth.

But your mouth instantly goes dry when the four guys appear right across from you and Jungkook are seated.

“Gukie!” Hoseok exclaimed at the sight of Jungkook still devouring his croissant. “Look at you! Finally, you’re with the hyungs in high school.” The tease made Jungkook’s ears go pink and you feel your own face get hot; not because of second hand embarrassment, but because you can see everyone’s eyes on you – the two freshmen who had no right to be sharing a table with, what you can only assume, the four most popular guys on campus.

There were many times where people would only want to get to know you because of your sister; girls wanted to get close to you because you were had a cool older sister and boys wanted to be with you because they were so eager to come over to your place and obsess over Sena.

Jungkook, on the other hand, had no interest in her. As a matter of fact, you met Jungkook when you were in middle school and took a swimming class and later found out that you two were in the same class and bonded over your competitive nature in swim class.

“Who’s this? You got a girlfriend on your first day already?” You and Jungkook exchange a look of disgust with each other and create a sensible amount of space for each other to establish that you both see each other as friends.

“Oh my god, wait – you’re Sena’s little sister, right?” Hoseok corrected Jimin who had made the assumption you and Jungkook were an item. Jungkook can see the way you scrunch your nose from his periphery, and he decides to answer for you instead.

“This is YN. She’s… literally been my best friend since middle school.” Jungkook introduces you to the four people right across from you. “YN, this is Hoseok – well, I call him Hobi-hyung. This is Jimin-hyung and Tae-hyung. I’m pretty sure you know Namjoon-hyung because –”

“ – school council president.” You interrupt because you didn’t want Jungkook to reveal that you had been inquiring about him earlier. “I remember because you made that welcome speech this morning at the assembly.”

Namjoon is rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment and you resume eating your packed lunch, despite losing all appetite because you are surrounded by so many people did not know. They weren’t terrible people, but you weren’t mentally prepared for such strong personalities and dynamics to be introduced all at once. You felt like an intruder – a fly on the wall – because everyone carried on with their normal conversations; Jungkook and Hoseok were talking about plans for the weekend and then Jimin and Taehyung were already drafting out ideas for the yearbook. Meanwhile, you sat in silence as you ate your tuna salad sandwich, reading a new book you were gifted over the summer by your parents.

“Let me know when you’re done.” A voice catches your attention, and you stop all chewing. “The book, I mean.” Namjoon clarifies and he sees that you are already halfway done with it. “I read it a year ago and I’d like to hear what you think of it.” He offers you a heartwarming smile and you nod once, returning the same grin.

“I started it a week ago. I really like it so far.” The conversation is light and drowned out by the loud voices beside you.

You never really pinned him as a reader.

“So, how’s your first day so far?” He inquires and you honestly thought that the conversation was… over. Normally, that’s how all the conversations go when people find out your Sena’s little sister. They feign their interest in you and instantaneously ask about her.

“It’s… nothing special.” You admit, smoothing your fingers on the pages of the book. “Most of the classes I have before lunch, Guk’s with me. Now –”

“Now, her large, wrinkled brain is going to abandon me and get into those advanced program and honors classes.” You are rolling your eyes at your best friend who whines that you decided not to take the same classes as him.

“We literally have homeroom, social studies, and PE together and then we see each other for breaks and lunch. I think you’ll live.” The group laughs which earns quite a bit of stares from outsiders, but they seem to be completely unfazed by it. Everyone turns back to their own conversations and, usually, your social presence isn’t necessarily sought out by people.

It wasn’t until you hear another inquiry fall out of Namjoon’s mouth.

“What do you have right after lunch?”

“Biology.”

“Honors biology, by the way. Can’t you spare just one regular class for me? Or does your GPA really matter that much to you?” Jungkook complains and you are left ignoring his comments.

If there was one thing that your older sister taught you (something you actually agree with) is that colleges love a good GPA and joining as many clubs as possible. You even remembered how she’d phrase it for you; college admissions officers will cream their pants when you score that 4.0 GPA and do something out of the box from the rest of your peers.

“Or just get smarter, Guk.” Hoseok poked fun at Jungkook, earning a shrug from Jungkook. Namjoon, on the other hand, is smiling from ear to ear at the dynamic between the elder and the youngest of the group.

“Let me see your schedule.” Namjoon urges as he spots your clear binder which has your printed schedule on the cover. You push over your binder to Namjoon who is scanning your binder; he reads through your name, your birth date, the list of teachers you had for the semester and the classes assigned to you.

You feel indifferent about the sudden attention on you, especially from Namjoon; a mere stranger who everyone obsessed over was so piqued by you. You observe the way the corner of his slips curve into an impressive smirk as he glances over at Hoseok.

“Guess who we have for calculus at the end of the day?” He slides over your binder where the rest of the group examine the rest of your schedule, only for Hoseok to find a coinciding class with you.

“How the fuck are you in a senior’s class? Are you some math whiz or something?” Taehyung’s eyes widen at the sight of an advanced calculus class on your schedule. It was one of the things you were proud of you; you were good at math – it happened to be Sena’s worst subject and your parents often joke what she lacked; you had gained immensely.

“Yeah, YN’s cracked, hyung. I don’t understand. I remember in middle school they had to make arrangements for her to get into a pre-caclulus class or some shit like that.” Jungkook finishes his fruit cup and gathers all of the trash on site to toss over to the closest garbage bin.

Namjoon is sliding your binder right back at you, brows raised at you with the same grin he had on. He stares at you for what seemed like a long time – to you, it seemed like a long time and he is glancing back down at where your fingers brush against each other and he pulls away, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable.

“I – um, saw that you were taking orchestra too.”

You nod and chew on your cheek, self-conscious all of a sudden about your appearance because you are very much aware that Namjoon is examining every aspect of your face.

“Yeah. I mean, I already know how to play the piano, so I might as well learn how to play another instrument, right?”

“No – yeah, you’re right.” He stammers and he folds his hands together only to be interrupted by Jimin tossing over a bag of pretzels at Namjoon.

“Bell’s about to ring. Pretzels was all they had left. We need to head to physics soon.” Taehyung and Jimin are swinging their bags over their shoulders. Hoseok is too busy on his phone, showing Jungkook a video of his new choreography.

Suddenly, you are receiving a plethora of notifications in the depths of your jean pocket. Your fingers unlock your phone only to reveal a series of text messages from your sister.

Sena [12:29]: Did you just spend your entire lunch with Kim Namjoon?

Sena [12:32]: Earth to YN?

Sena [12:39]: GUK IS FRIENDS WITH ALL 4 OF THEM.

Sena [12:41]: You have officially made a fucking impression to this school. I’m so proud of you. You’re sitting with us at lunch tomorrow.

“Guess I’ll see you later, YN.” The bell doesn’t descend you back to reality. Instead, it was his voice that brings you to pack up your things into your bag. “You might want to sit at the back for Mr. Lu’s biology class; he’s a spitter.” Namjoon swings his backpack over his shoulder. “He reuses the same lesson plan every year. If you need any help with them, you know who to look for.”

As you’re swinging your own bag, Namjoon leaves you with a wink as he is exiting the doors of the cafeteria into the school hallways.

Now, you understand why the entire world was obsessed with Kim Namjoon.

“Alright, let’s get started,” Mrs. Kang, your calculus, is a middle-aged woman who didn’t look like she had aged past thirty. You found it incredibly hard to believe the woman was nearly in her mid-forties who had three kids of her own. She looked like a stern woman but had a good heart from what you remembered; she only wanted what was best for the class even though it meant tormenting them with a shit ton of homework. “I don’t need to go over the syllabus with you bunch. As you can see, this is a much smaller class than a regular class because not a lot of people pass this class.”

Silence fills the room from when you had first arrived. You were one of the last few people to find your seat because your class was all the way on the other side of campus. It seemed like everyone in your class were juniors or seniors. There were so many of them who knew each other from previous classes; they were all huddled in their own designated spots in the class, so you sat at the front of the class because all the seats at the back had been taken and it may help that you’re at the front because it’ll force you to pay attention.

“There’s a lot of material to cover and there’s only so much I can do. Since we’ve implemented the new block schedule, we’ll only be seeing each other for an hour and a half every Wednesdays and Fridays. First thirty minutes will be on new material, next thirty minutes will be spent on practice problems, and then the last thirty minutes will be working with your partner on getting your homework started. I’ve figured getting a head start on the homework for the last thirty minutes will be helpful just in case you or your partner are lost, you have me to ask for assistance.”

Someone’s hand raises up in the air out of your periphery.

Mrs. Kang points to them. “Yes, Namjoon?”

“How do we determine who are partners will be?”

“Please tell me we get to pick our partners.” Mrs. Kang is already turning her back to the class as she searches for a box that had been hidden behind her computer monitor only for her shake the contents of the box.

“The last time I gave the students the opportunity to choose who their partner was, I’ve written a disciplinary notice for academic dishonesty twice a week.” Mrs. Kang prefaced, and the room goes silent. As she continues ruffling through folded papers inside the wooden box, you are already aware of how the partner system is going to work.

Everything was going to be randomly assigned.

“We have 26 of you total which means there will be 13 pairs.” Mrs. Kang announces, and she walks around the class starting from the left where the person is picking a folded paper out of the box. Each person who had unfolded their paper sat patiently until Mrs. Kang had completed distributing the paired assignments around the room. She is fetching a pen and paper as she sits on her desk.

“Alright, our first pair is –” Mrs. Kang looks up to see two people raise their hands; it had been Hoseok and a girl with the prettiest bangs named Mimi. Mrs. Kang continued jotting down the pairs until you scanned the number on your own paper; a large 12 inscribed on your already tattered paper.

You hear Mrs. Kang’s voice as she calls out for the twelfth pair and you raise your hand. You don’t see anyone in your periphery raise their hands, so you turn your body around to search for your partner.

Your body turns cold and still, but you can feel your cheeks get warm at the sight of Namjoon seated down at the back with Hoseok with his hands raised, revealing that he had pulled the same number as you. The thumping in your heart is loud and it beats hard as each moment passes.

Both your hands lower and you are trying to turn your attention back to the front of the class where your teacher stood, but you can feel his eyes on you. You remembered scolding yourself, unaware of why you were so nervous and so shocked to be his partner – he saw you nothing more than another classmate; someone to help him with his assignments.

“Perfect! Since we have our pairs, everyone will be sitting next to their partner from now on; I don’t care where it’ll be. I just need you to sit with them, so we’re not scrambling at the last thirty minutes of class to find them.” Mrs. Kang says sternly, clearly not wanting to waste time in this class. “Shall we begin?”

“How do you already have so much shit to do?” Jungkook laid comfortably on your bed, shoving down salt and vinegar potato chips that your parents had bought from the store last weekend. “Do you like never take a break from reading or what?”

“It’s just a really interesting book.” You say as you flip through the next page and bite into an apple.

You two laid on your bed, basking in the afternoon sun. Normally, you two didn’t have this much down time. Last summer, you two volunteered to be camp counselors to lessen the boredom you two would endure. It was either that or spending every goddamn weekend on the golf course with Jungkook’s parents and yours.

“I was thinking of trying out for the track & field team.” Jungkook informs you and you resume reading. “Namjoon-hyung tells me that the team runs right after school and it sounds fun. Events are early though, and we all know I’m not an early riser.”

The mention of Namjoon urged you to reminisce back to your last period that day. Mrs. Kang mentioned that she wasn’t going to let the class immediately sit right next to their homework partner – thank god. You just wouldn’t know what to talk about with him; you don’t really know what to talk about with people because they always somehow led the conversation back to your older sister.

But, at the end of class, he did manage to keep up with you as you hastily packed all your items into the bag before you darted outside of the classroom. You planned on walking home with Jungkook and you two would meet at the front of the school. Namjoon, somehow, caught up to you in time.

He had grabbed your arm and greeted with you with his million-dollar smile. “Hey,” He breathes, and you stop to offer him a meeker and shier smile.

“Hi, what’s up?”

“You’re meeting with Guk?”

You give him a single nod before he hands you two pieces of paper. You’re curious as to what they are, and you see the words parent’s consent form along with the health forms to give to a doctor – for a physical.

“He’ll know what they’re for.” He reassured you and you hold onto the forms. “Thanks for that. I have to go; I have a meeting in five minutes with the student council.”

“I’ll be sure to give it to him. Was there anything else you wanted to tell him?”

He shakes his head, and he starts reversing his steps, clutching onto the straps of his bags. “I – um, I’m really looking forward for calculus – you know, the whole partner thing. I must be really lucky to be partnered with a cracked, math whiz like you.”

Now, you’re blushing because you weren’t really sure if you were supposed to be flattered or offended.

And he read you so well because he is suddenly panicking but he hid it. He stops his reverses, and he takes one step closer to you.

“I’ll see you and Guk at lunch tomorrow, if that’s alright?” He hums; his voice sounded so soft and clear to you – no one can hear a single thing he had said to you, but you heard him bright as day. Suddenly, you feel a grin creep up to your mouth and you nod once. You had regained some of your confidence back and Namjoon can see it. “Cool, well, I’ll see you ‘round, YN.”

“Earth to YN.” Jungkook snaps at you and you pay attention to your friend who is lying next to you. “Did you hear a single thing I said?”

“Sorry ‘bout that. I dozed for a couple minutes.” You admit and he scrunches his brows, dismissing your moment of silence.

“I was asking how it was like to be in a class of seniors.”

“There’s no difference, honestly.” You begin your thought. “It sucks just because I don’t really know anyone, and everyone knows everyone.”

“Yeah, but you have Namjoon-hyung and Hobi-hyung.” Jungkook reassures you. “They’re basically your friends now because we’ll be hanging around them a lot.”

You weren’t sure if you were looking forward to or nervous to be spending a lot more time with the older guys. They made a good first impression on you though; they’ve probably only mentioned your sister’s name once. Granted, it was only thirty minutes spent together, but it was so much better than most of the conversations you’ve had with everybody else.

“That’s true. I have Namjoon as my homework partner, so I’ll… definitely need to get along with him.” You chuckle under your breath as you read through each line without comprehending a single thing. Your mind had been so clouded with the idea of Namjoon and you weren’t sure why.

Jungkook decided not to stay for dinner that evening even though mom made two pans of lasagna to feed a village. However, he did help you and your mother prepare it. Your mom was pretty insistent on it, so you promise that you’d be giving him some leftovers for lunch the next day. Your dad arrived home next; it was a typical evening – he beelined to your mom, planted a kiss on her cheek and patted your back before he hastily moved to the office to continue working. Sena arrived home from school at a later hour than usual before she was already setting the plates on the dining table.

“Alright, Guk, final offer.” Your mother says as she is pulling out two piping pans of lasagna out of the oven.

“No, thanks, Mrs. LN.” He respectfully declines before he is swinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Mom’s expecting me home right about now for dinner. I’ll definitely ask YN to pack me up some leftovers though.”

“Alright.” She waves him a goodbye before you are showing him to the door. “Walk home safely.” She bids him a goodbye softly as she pulls the foils off the pan.

“Pack me an extra serving, please.” Jungkook pleads and you roll your eyes before he already made his way out of the door.

“Honey, dinner’s ready!”

“You did not tell me Jungkook was friends with Namjoon.” Sena settles herself on the dining table and you sit right across from her, waiting for your mom to begin serving everyone a slice of lasagna.

“Quite frankly, I didn’t know Jungkook even knew Namjoon either. I’d say I’m just as surprised as you are, but I really don’t know what the fascination is with Namjoon.” You lied through your teeth as your mom serves herself first (she called dibs on the corner piece) and you decide on getting the smallest piece since you weren’t so hungry that evening.

“Are you talking about Mr. and Mrs. Kim’s son? Is this the same Namjoon we’re talking about right now?” Your mom’s curiosity is evident in her tone, taking small bites out of a side salad she had prepared.

“Yes, and Sena is hopelessly in love with him.” You shove the lettuce into your mouth as you wait for your lasagna serving to cool down momentarily.

“How can you not be in love with him?” She breathes out hastily. Your dad has his brows raised in disbelief; his daughter talking endlessly about her crush.

“He is a nice boy; responsible, kind, gentle, polite, seems to get things done, really cute too.” Your mom lists his never-ending advantages, and you stray away from their eyes because you hate the admit that you find him incredibly cute.

“Can we please talk about something other than this boy?” Your father is already exhausted from listening to you talk about Namjoon and you don’t blame him, really. “How was the first day for you, dear?” He refers to you and you are still chewing on your dinner.

“I have three classes with Guk. I like all of my classes so far; I can already tell calculus is going to be… a lot of work. We have a test every week and we mandatory study sessions after school for the exam to qualify for college credits. Thankfully, I have a partner to work with just in case I don’t understand anything. There’s also –”

“Who’s your partner? Maybe I know them.”

Your silence is defeating, and you look at your dad who is waiting for his answer and you dart your eyes back at Sena who is piecing the puzzle in her head, so she drops her mouth open, gasping at your lack of a response.

“No fucking way!”

“Language, please, Sena.” Your mom scolds.

“I mean, you’ve been in the same classes as him before! I’m sure you’ve been in a group project with him or something. You guys are in the same clubs. I don’t understand why you haven’t asked him out.” You weren’t so sure what motivated you to blurt it all out because your sister was definitely a good catch, but the obsession with him was getting way out of hand.

“That’s ridiculous, YN. I would never ask out a guy. I don’t even know he likes me that way.” Sena is taking small bites out of her dinner and you sigh to yourself, chewing on the inside of your cheek. “If there was only a way for me to find out. It’s not like I have a sister who’s partners with him in a class – oh, she’s also best friends with his next-door neighbor! How convenient.”

She eyes at you where you decide to focus on your meal, but her eyes are pleading and desperate.

“I… am completely eliminating myself from this predicament, Sena. If you want to ask him out for yourself, you should do it. Besides, who wouldn’t like you? You’re amazing.” Your voice is sincere and genuine, and you hope she pushes all of her fears and insecurities to the side to do something about her feelings.

“It would just be so much easier if I knew if he thought I was cute or something.”

“Everyone thinks you’re cute.”

“That’s not the point, YN. Listen, how ‘bout this? You don’t even have to drop my name in there; just ask what his ideal girl is like or something… or let Guk do the work! I’m sure he already knows the answer. Just help a girl out, please, YN.” You sigh defeated because your sister was really good at convincing.

It wasn’t really hard to figure out what type of girl Namjoon was interested in or… if he was interested in girls. All of this was easier said than done and you were going to rely on Jungkook a lot on this.

“I’m not going to prioritize this.” You surrender and she is giddy in her seat.

“YN, you are the best sister anyone could ask for.”

Several weeks have passed since you had last had your conversation with your older sister. You made an emphasis that you weren’t going to prioritize delving into Namjoon’s personal life. You were purely on a calculus homework and best friend’s next door neighbor relationship with him. But you finally get an idea of what Namjoon likes in a girl when he had to leave early for calculus to get pep rally ready for the first football game that Friday.

Unknown [14:34]: It’s Namjoon. Got your number from Guk.

For some reason, you feel your heart leap out of your chest at the text message. You’re still seated in calculus class working on the first few problems of your homework without him. You look up to see that Mrs. Kang is too busy assisting other students confused with the problem. Honestly, you were confused too and were unsure with your methods, but your mind had been too focused on your cellphone the entire time.

Namjoon [14:35]: Should’ve gave you the heads up about this. Sorry about leaving you alone to work. ):

You [14:36]: It’s no big deal. Seems like everyone’s confused, tbh.

Namjoon [14:36]: Fuck, mb. It’s the first game of the night, so I’m kind of required to be here. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.

Namjoon [14:37]: I have some down time after setting up. Maybe we can work on it then?

You [14:37]: Just tell me the time and place, I’ll be there. (:

Namjoon says that he had somebody covering his duties for the student council before the game began. You see him rushing inside a computer lab that remained open for students to use. You had reserved a table at a secluded corner because you wanted to be away from prying eyes. He spots you trying to reread your notes and erase the umpteenth method you had tried for a word problem you were stuck on.

He admires the way your brows knit together; lips pursed as you began redoing your method on a separate piece of paper. He keeps standing, not taking his place on the chair right next to you – too afraid that you would interrupt your flow. You feel a presence right next to you and he nearly gives you a fright and you realize just how tall he is.

“You scared me.” You inform and he chuckles softly at how endearing it was. He takes the seat right next to you where he is already pulling out notebook and pencils from his bag.

“I left my book at my locker. Do you mind if I share your book with you?” You look at your open textbook and nod at once pushing the textbook closer for both of you to see. “Thanks.” He scoots much closer than you had intended and when he strips his hoodie off of him, you can smell his cologne and how good it smelled on him.

You ignore your thoughts and scurry back to the problem you’re on.

“What problem did you end on?” He inquires and you point to the exact word problem you had been staring at for the past thirty minutes in class.

“It’s been bugging me. I didn’t want to ask Mrs. Kang because I wanted to figure it out myself.” You were so stubborn, he thought to himself. You had only completed a total of eight problems when there was so much more to do for the weekend. For some reason, you decided to stay stuck on that problem for god knows how long and Namjoon found it adorable – one of the few attributes he liked about you.

He reads the word problem and begins trying to solve the problem on his own. After several tries, he had figure out what you had done wrong and he so desperately wanted to point it out to you. Just when he was about to open his mouth, you turn to him and shake your head, covering your ears with your hands.

“No. I refuse to let you tell me what you did wrong. I can figure this out myself.” You whisper harshly. Namjoon can’t help but respond with silenced laughter because this is exactly how your homework sessions have been going; just the both of you refusing to let the other correct each other until the other figured it out themselves.

“Can I give you one clue?”

“Nope.” You popped your ‘p’ to accentuate just how persistent you were. You stuck out your lower lip as you examined the word problem again and he looked at the glossiness of your mouth and the softness of your cheeks; how he desperately wanted to lay his own petals right on yours as his fingers crawl to your face.

“So, I have a question.” He starts.

“And I can try to give you an answer depending on what it is.”

“Are… you and Guk by any chance – y’know?” His question is vague, but you definitely know what he is asking you because lots of people were never really used to the idea of a boy and a girl ever being best friends; for some reason, people assume they always end up dating and never talking to each other again.

“God, no. I love him, but I don’t love him like… I’d date him.” Your cheeks were fully flamed, and you weren’t so sure why you were so embarrassed to discuss this with Namjoon. All the times you had to clarify people on your relationship with Jungkook, you were almost disgusted and quick to reassure people that you two were nothing more than friends.

“Well, is there anyone you were willing to date?” Namjoon is pushing the boundaries here and he knows it very well. But he feels like he has gotten to know you well enough in the past few weeks to ask such a question.

“Not that… I know of really.” You try to remain composed when you respond to his question, but you feel his eyes burn into your soul, so you’re doing everything you can to avoid his stare. But Namjoon continues to stare right into you. He really can’t take his eyes off of you. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever really experienced what it’s like to be attracted to –” Just when you had mustered the confidence to look at him, he is quite literally staring so deeply into your eyes that it is taking your breath away.

He is making you eat your words right now; you can’t take your eyes off of him.

“You don’t know what it’s like to…?”

“I don’t what it’s like to be attracted to someone.” You sigh softly; your breath fanning him. “On the contrary, I don’t think anyone’s ever really been attracted to me.” A chuckle comes erupting from your mouth, shaking your head. “Fortunately, that’s not really my goal in high school.”

“You don’t know that.” He quips.

“I don’t know what?”

“If someone’s been attracted to you before.” You shake your head in disbelief, chewing on the inside of your cheek knowing fully well that he was doing this because he wanted to seem like a dick for not disagreeing with your self-deprecation.

“Well, what about you?” You pose the question to him. “From what I understand, most girls and guys I pass by swoon every time you pass by.” He is chuckling to himself this time and he is very much aware of his desirability among his classmates. “You have plenty of choices; I’m sure you have the opportunity to date someone you must really like at this very moment.”

“That’s what I’m hoping on. I’m just not quite sure how she feels about me.” You feel like you were unraveling his darkest secrets and you were happy he considered you close enough to reveal who it is or give an inkling to who it is.

“Do I know her by any chance?” You’re hoping that you can narrow down who he is interested in. Because you barely knew anybody, you knew this would be a piece of cake.

“Yes.” He replies simply and he is staring at you. “You know her very well, YN.” He sighs, hoping you would finally understand what he is alluding to.

“Is she in my grade?” You were really hoping that the answer would be no or else you’d be breaking some terrible news to Sena that evening after the football game.

Namjoon nods slowly and he can see how you are not picking up his hints. He sees the slight disappointment in your face for whatever reason. Suddenly, he is perplexed because, in his eyes, he has made it pretty clear who he was interested in from the get-go. Many people should make the assumption, too, considering there was only one person he had his eyes on – only one person he was giving his attention to.

“Is it… that girl in Guk’s class who –”

As you are trying to list out the girls in your class who has interacted with Namjoon, he is in complete disbelief that you have not figured it out at all. How much more clueless could you get? He is sighing now because is frustrated. He admires your persistence when it came to solving difficult word problems in calculus but it’s frustrating when you are unaware of his feelings for you.

Just when is about to confess his feelings for you, you are greeted with another presence calling for both your names.

“So, this is where you two have been.” Jungkook ambles hastily towards your table and you grin from ear to ear when he is taking out his algebra textbook. “YN, one last chance, please. I didn’t pass my last quiz which brought me one letter grade down and my dad’s going to make me quit track & field if I don’t –”

“I told you I’d help you over the weekend, dumbass. I’m busy getting shit done with Namjoon.” You breathe softly before he is hugging you on your side and you grunt at how much stronger he has gotten. “But you’re buying me coffee for a week.”

“Sick.” Jungkook simply replies before he begins unpacking some of his homework. “You excited for the football game, Namjoon-hyung?” Jungkook queries and Namjoon is baffled because the moment is gone. One interruption from his next-door neighbor and the moment’s lost.

“Fuck yeah.” Namjoon replies and he sees that you’ve suddenly lost interest in the subject. You were subconsciously listening on their conversation while you are back to resolving the complicated word problem right in front of you. “Will you two be going to the game?”

“I’ll go, but YN won’t go because she hates crowds and, honestly, she doesn’t know how the game.” You exhale in response to Jungkook’s statements. Namjoon observes that you decide to move onto another problem, wanting to tackle the word problem at a different time. “Everyone you know will practically be there. Why not give it a shot?”

“We usually have half of the bleachers reserved for the student council since we’re in charge of tickets and concessions, so it won’t be that big of a crowd.” Namjoon attempts to entice you with modifications to appease your concerns. “Plus, we’d all get to hang out with each other; no homework, no calculus talk – just… us.”

Jungkook is stunned to see you agree.

The night was a lot more enjoyable than you thought it would be. Namjoon waived off the entrance fee for the game the moment he mentioned that you and Jungkook were volunteers. Taehyung was already on the field taking photographs of the football players and cheerleaders while Jimin took photographs of the students on the bleachers. You even passed by your own sister who was busy with her own group at the entrance entertaining friends, families, and alumni into the bleachers. Meanwhile, Namjoon was overseeing every single aspect of the event; he was mainly at the concessions, not wanting to create so much traffic around it.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” You offer your assistance before he notices that you have your hair all tied up. “I’ve washed my hands if that helps.” Namjoon can’t hide his smile and he offer you a pair of food safe gloves.

“I’m usually one to decline help, but we really need it. Let’s see – Yuqi really needs to go use the bathroom, so you can be in charge of the drinks and chips right now.” You take your station at the drinks and chips stations. It was going faster than you had expected; people ordered too fast or too slow – there was no in between. There were people who were very certain with their order which you appreciated. Then, there were the people who were very fickle with their order and you can’t help but stand awkwardly to wait for them to decide.

“I can’t believe you roped me into helping.” Jungkook grumbles under his breath. “Hey, I didn’t rope you into anything.” You take the five-dollar bill from the student and offer them back their change.

“Yeah, but you made me seem like a real asshole sitting there not helping.” You can’t help but laugh at Jungkook’s pout because you knew just how much he wanted to just spend his time on the bleachers, watching the game with his hyungs. But he was stuck here helping out the student council while most of them were on their bathroom breaks.

“Once someone’s back from their bathroom break, you can go back to your game.” You soothe him and the chaos outside the booth is starting to die down. Less and less people were coming because they’ve all satisfied their craving and the game was building up – it was pretty close, so you understand why Jungkook was in there sulking with you. When you turn to look at Namjoon, hoping to convince him to let Jungkook off the hook, you don’t see him there.

You look out the window to hear your sister’s pretentious giggle. She laughed so differently around him – acted so differently around him. He stood right next to her with the rest of the council members, giving them a big pep talk. She looked at him like he was an angel who fell from heaven. Their conversation ends and the rest of the council members disband except Sena and Namjoon. They are having a personal conversation and you can’t read mouths, but you can’t tear your eyes away from their beaming faces.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” You clear your throat, speaking so softly so only Jungkook can hear you.

“I’m all ears.”

“Does – does Namjoon have a type?” You say out of curiosity. Jungkook raises a brow at you, curious as to what motivated you to ask the question.

“Uh, I don’t know. I’ve never really heard hyung talk about any girls… or his type, to be honest.” He hums and he is staring at you stare at your sister and Namjoon. “Why’d you ask?”

“It’s… for Sena.” It was the truth, but your own curiosity was definitely a motivating factor. “She’s been obsessed with Namjoon since… as long as I can remember.” You breathe out, hoping no one else can eavesdrop on your conversation. “She’s been talking a lot about him more since she found out I knew him, y’know?”

“Huh,” Jungkook leans on the table and folds his arms. “Why doesn’t she just tell him?”

“Apparently, she needs some sort of confirmation that he thinks of her that way too, so she doesn’t make a fool of herself.”

“Why don’t you just ask him then?” Your silence is clearly something Jungkook wasn’t expecting because you never actually considered it once. “He’s a pretty easy-going guy; just ask him and he’ll be honest.”

“We’re not on that level of friendship yet, I guess.”

“Well, I consider you guys close enough to ask that kind of question.”

“Then, he’d just assume I’m being friends with him because my sister was using me.”

“Well, are you?”

“No.”

Your own answer stuns you almost. Just a couple weeks ago, you knew nothing of Namjoon and, suddenly, you are on a level of friendship where you think you can confide him in anything. Perhaps, now, you really understood why everyone obsessed over him; why everyone wanted to be friends with him, why everyone wanted to date him, why everyone just wanted to be noticed by him.

“Then, feel free to ask him yourself.”

You hadn’t really worked up the courage to talk to Namjoon about his dating life. You repeated to yourself that it wasn’t really a priority to delve into what goes on behind the scenes with Namjoon. You were in a consistent state of going to school, doing your homework, reading books, and retraining your body to try out for the swim team next semester. 

But the time came when you got sick for an entire week and missed so much material, especially calculus material.

But you were eternally saved by Namjoon himself.

Namjoon had requested to drop off the homework sheets and printed copies of his notes over to you. Everything was so detailed, and you were impressed with how organized everything seemed to be. You didn’t know what motivated you to reach for your phone on your bed and dial in his number. Maybe you felt like it deserved a personal thanks rather than a typed one.

“YN?” His voice on the other line sounded so surprised and there was so much noise on the other end. “Give me a second.” He excuses before you hear him move to another location, somewhere much quieter.

“How many times do I have to thank you for being an absolute saint?” Your voice sounded so stuffed. The flu was getting to you really bad, but you were recovering well. But he chuckles into the receiver and you are flipping through each page he had printed before you fall onto your bed, sighing blissfully. “I’m serious, Joon. I’ll say it a million times if I have to.”

“You’ve pulled my weight when I was off doing council work so much. I’m sure if I got sick, you’d do the exact same thing. It’s what partners do.” Namjoon is smiling from ear to ear; he was glowing, and no one was there to really witness it. “I – um, did you see my note attached at the back?”

You are now flipping through the pages frantically until you see a handwritten sticky note that read: “We have a quiz on the Monday you come back. I’m free this weekend if you wanted to study with me.” And there was even a little smiley face attached to it and you are experiencing a whirlwind of emotions.

“You have got to be fucking with me.” You can feel the panic starting to bubble in the pits of your belly, but you were trying not to let it show. “You’ve already done so much for me. I can’t rob you of your weekend. It’s just – It’s just too much.”

“I’m happy to do it, Ace. I promise.” The guy deserved everything in the world because he was too generous for the world and you weren’t so sure what you did to deserve such kindness.

“Ace?”

He chuckles embarrassingly into the receiver, chewing on his cheeks. “I – uh, it’s a nickname. I hope you don’t mind.” Suddenly, butterflies erupt from your stomach and there is a glow on your cheeks that you are very much aware of and you are curling into your bed with a shit eating grin on your face.

“I – I like it.” You sigh and Namjoon leans on the wall as he observes the rest of his friends and council members enjoy slices of pizza, taking a well-deserved break from preparing for the pep rally event coming up next week.

“So, is that a yes to a study session this Saturday?”

“Yes.” Your voice is small and hesitant because it feels like you’re doing something wrong when you were just having a quiz session with your calculus partner.

“Great. My place or yours?”

Namjoon insisted on coming over to your place because you were still recovering. Coincidentally, your parents had the weekend trip away with your dad’s work colleague for a wine tasting event. You debated whether you wanted to tell Sena that Namjoon was going to be arriving in an hour, but you soon realize that she was out with her friend’s house for a movie night session.

You had the place all to yourself and you were relieved and frantic all at once.

You busied yourself the entire day to make yourself look decent; brushed hair, brushed teeth, clean face, and fresh clothes. You throw used tissues into trash bins, changed your sheets, and kicked all of your dirty laundry into your hamper that had fallen on the carpeted floors. As you are jogging downstairs, you discover you have no food in the fridge, so you’d probably have to order a pizza or something to share with Namjoon.

Immediately, you question why you are so desperate to make the place and yourself so presentable when this was a mere tutoring session with your calculus partner?

The doorbell ringing prompts you to peek through the peep hole and you see him; he is wearing a regular white t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. He has his hoodie thrown over his shoulder as he begins texting a message on his phone, waiting for you to open the door for him.

When you unlock the front door and open the door for him, you smile timidly at him.

“Hi,” You greet him nervously.

“Hey, Ace.” He waves before he examines how you look. Despite your red nose and tired eyes, he missed seeing your face for a week; he really did. You stood awkwardly fiddling with your fingers and he can sense just how anxious you are, so he decides to tread lightly. “May I come in?”

His tone is so polite which effectively allows you to open the door wider for him to enter. You are nodding and you close the door shut behind him, ensuring that you have locked them. “I – um, I can’t really offer you anything to eat since my parents are out of town, but we can order pizza, if you want. It’s what my sister and I usually do.”

“I’m more than okay with pizza.” He permits and you nod and begin walking to the living room. “Will we be working here?”

“We can work anywhere.” You announce. The conversation is so light, and you hate how quick yet reluctant you are to your responses. “I – I can get you a glass of water, if you’d like. I’ll just get my things from upstairs and bring them down to the living room.” You inform him and he nods as he is making himself comfortable on the couch.

You are scurrying off upstairs to go get your materials and catching your breath because you think you were holding your breath the entire time. You’re stalling because you’re making a check list of every single thing you need for downstairs to avoid seeing him or talking with him. Just when you are about to exit, you see him at the bottom of the stairs. He is examining each family portrait on the wall.

Your face is hot because you can only imagine how terrible you looked like a child, so you jog downstairs with your study materials to gain his attention. “I never really realized how much Sena looks like your dad.” Namjoon comments and you stop in your tracks, only to examine the portrait he is looking at. “Exact same nose and smile.”

You purse your lips into a thin line because you are reminded once again that he is probably only interested in getting to know Sena – there was always that possibility. You were so familiar with this feeling of discussing your sister with other people because – yes, she is absolutely beautiful and intelligent and there was no denying it.

“But you are like your mother.” He comments as he takes a closer look at your mom who seems to be so much more youthful. “The way she’s smiling here looks so much like the way you smile.” He describes and you allow him to explain more by staying silent. “When you smile, your nose kind of crinkles and the corners of your eyes creases and your dimples are a lot more –”

Your throat seizes because you’re flattered and aware that he has perfectly examined your appearance and all the features in what he sees. He grows silent and he is chuckling nervously, scratching the back of his hand to distract himself.

“Sorry that was… super random.” Namjoon clears his throat, and you are shaking your head before you point towards the living room.

“I – I’m ready now.”

Now, you’re desperately hoping Sena doesn’t come home too early from her friend’s house.

Hours have passed since Namjoon have gotten you caught up with all of the materials and have assisted you through last week’s homework sheets. Namjoon was impressed with how you can keep up despite your recovering condition. One minute, you were sneezing and wiping your nose clean and, the next minute, you have your lips pursed and brows furrowed as you are writing equations down on a separate piece of paper.

“I got a question for you.” Namjoon begins and you are still too busy piecing everything together for a specific word problem you wanted to master.

“Shoot.”

“Are you always this focused?” You are typing things into a calculator before you are erasing things on your paper and you turn to look at him, showing him the calculator.

“Is this the right answer?” You ignore his question for a moment.

He nods and you grin at him before you proceed onto the next word problem.

“If I’m a week’s worth of lessons behind, yes, I’m focused all the time.” Namjoon is shaking his head and he is in awe at how you are so quick at writing all the information; he notices how neat your handwriting is too. Namjoon checks his watch and realizes just how late it has been and he clears his throat as he looks out the window to see the sun has gone completely down.

“Will your sister be coming home tonight?” Namjoon notices that you stop writing – you stop solving the word problem that you are tackling because you, suddenly, realize that he is asking about your sister.

“She’s probably still at a friend’s house or something.” He senses the atmosphere has changed and you shift your mind back to the practice problem right in front of you. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason – well, I honestly thought she should be taking care of her recovering sister.” You snicker at his statement.

“She’s a great sister, but she’s not that great.” You quip, biting your tongue at how ridiculous he sounded. “I think we can all agree that she’s smart, charismatic, and ambitious. I will admit she’s a really considerate sister too, but she thinks caring for her ill sister is a parents’ job – not hers.”

“Okay, okay, I get it she’s amazing but not… amazing.” He raises his hands to surrender and his words coming out of his mouth urged you to inquire about his relationship with her.

“If you think she’s amazing, why don’t you date her?” The words came spilling out of your mouth uncontrollably. Maybe it was the meds, you thought. You see the grin disappear from Namjoon’s face into utter confusion and he tilts his head for further clarification. “What I mean is that… you’ve known her and worked with her for so long and she’s a great girl – I’m obviously really biased considering she’s my sister, but you two would make a… great couple.”

You didn’t believe that you were talking about this to Namjoon. You didn’t think you would have the guts to discuss this with him, but the opportunity came up and you took it. But you are faced with such an unfamiliar emotion. True discomfort arises at the pit of your stomach as Namjoon’s brows furrow together and he is shaking his head with the same boyish grin he always flaunted to the world.

“Ace, she’s great, but I… honestly see her as a friend.” He isn’t so sure how many times he’s reiterated those words before. Because little did you know, so many people have asked the exact same thing. Peers and colleagues in their class were very much aware of Sena’s not so little crush on Namjoon for quite some time.

“Well, I mean, isn’t that how all relationships really start? Becoming friends and then possibly developing feelings for each other? Most people always see each other as friends until one of them is aware of the others’ feelings, right?” Your tone was so quizzical. You were treating this conversation like it required rationale and logical reasoning to tackle the issue at hand.

But this wasn’t a problem the mind can solve.

“That’s the usual circumstance, yes.” He admits and he sees that you resume back to the worksheet. “But I’ve known Sena’s had a thing for me and, quite frankly, I’ve been interested in someone else for a while, remember?”

“Someone far more interesting than Sena?” You are in disbelief. You are trying to eliminate other people in school who is on the same social standing as your older sister. “That’s… not possible.” You breathe.

“You’re wrong.” You stop writing because you are retracing your steps on the word problem you are solving. He finds it so endearing how you can’t seem to understand that he is utterly into you, but you are so lost in numbers.

“No, don’t tell me, Joon. I’ve told you this hundreds of times –” You lift your head to look at him to accentuate your reminder; you didn’t want to know what you wrong, you wanted to solve the problem yourself unless you demanded the assistance yourself.

Normally, Namjoon would comply with your request. It was so rare for him to point out your mistake, but he figured this was the perfect time to do so.

“You’re so stubborn.” He breathes before he dives in.

You don’t complete your sentence. Because when you turn your head to look at him with pleading eyes, you are met with his pillowy petals on yours. Your cheeks heat instantaneously, and you can feel your heart leap from your chest.

His kisses were soft and slow. You don’t realize that he has already cupped your cheeks. You’ve never kissed anyone ever before but, for some reason, it was like you knew how to move your mouth against his. He was gentle but there was a certain control he possessed. You pull away momentarily to breathe and, suddenly, you feel the heat of his tongue swipe on your lower lip. A shuddered whimper leaves your mouth before you are regrettably pulling away from addiction.

“N – no, that’s not possible.” You’re still in denial from the events that occurred. “Sena – she’d be so… betrayed if she –” Your brain is glitching and it didn’t help that you can taste the mint of his lips on yours.

“Listen, Ace, for one moment stop thinking about Sena and answer me honestly.” Namjoon positions his body to look straight onto you. “Do you feel the same way I do or not?”

“I don’t – I don’t know.” You shrug before avoiding his eyes. “I – I shouldn’t like you.” You sigh defeated and you are covering your face. You were ashamed not because you like him, but because you didn’t understand what you were really feeling, and you didn’t understand what you wanted to do. “Why – why do you like me?”

“You’re hardworking and incredibly intelligent.”

“I know plenty of other girls who are… exactly the same.”

“Your tastes in book are impeccable. You’re selfless to a degree that I can’t quite comprehend. You keep to yourself, but when you speak your mind, it leaves a lasting impression. Listen, YN, I can keep going, but you can’t… keep doubting my feelings for you.” Namjoon justifies and it was a tough pill to swallow.

You were too stunned to say anything. Too many emotions flooding your brain and it took too long for it to process, so you remained expressionless. Namjoon found it incredibly difficult for him to read your face.

“Ace, it’s really hard to tell how you’re feeling right now.” He points out and you understand just how awkward you sat there; head spinning with so many things to say but very little coming out of your mouth.

“I – I don’t know what you want me to say.” You admit. “I’m not sure what you’re expecting out of me with a confession like this. If I don’t feel the same way, what would’ve happened? If I do feel the same way, what – what was I supposed to do?”

“Well, for starters, do you actually feel the same way as I do?”

“I – I do.” You croak to respond to his inquiry. “I – I don’t think I’ve ever admitted that to myself either, but… I think I like you.”

A wave of relief washed over Namjoon, but there’s a bit of relief for you too. It’s out in the open now, and you know that there’s nothing really you can do about it. There’s a very content grin plastered right across his handsome face, but it slowly transforms into a frown as he realizes that, despite your feelings for each other, nothing will change between the both of you.

“Namjoon, we can’t be anything more than friends.” You realize the unfortunate circumstances the both of you were in. “It’s not fair to my sister. I don’t think it’s very fair to make me choose between you and my sister. I – I don’t think it’s very fair that… you’re in this position.”

Your heart swelled just moments ago, and you can feel it crumble into pieces as the words come spilling out of your lips.

“I understand.” He agrees softly and you perk up at his acquiescence. “I’m not going to force you to be in that position, Ace.” The reassurance softens your tense form, and his fingers cradle your chin, lifting up to be at eye level with you.

“But when you’re ready to reconsider... us, I’ll be waiting.”

↪ Please stay tuned for the next part!

[mdittyz123]

Motley Crue/The Dirt Fics

Nikki Sixx

-Animal in Me

Aria is a journalist for Rolling Stone magazine. She’s followed and hung out with countless bands. But what happens when she follows Motley Crue for one month for her latest piece? #series #ongoing #complicated relationship #ozzy osbourne

-Rebel Love Song

Nikki and Corey have been friends since they were kids. Back than Nikki Sixx was just simply Frankie to Corey. He was just the boy next door with a troubled past and a messed up present and future unknown. Corey was just the ideal girl next door, a girl Nikki couldn’t believe would actually give him the time of day. Things changed when Nikki took off without a goodbye or even a note. It would be years later before the two would be reunited. And when they are the girl next door isn’t exactly the girl next door anymore. Things happened and she’s changed. But will she still be the perfect girl in Nikki’s eyes or will she just be another girl in the crowd? #series #ongoing #childhood friends #friends to lovers

*-Afraid  Summary: You meet Sikki Nixx, but then you meet Nikki Sixx and your world is forever altered. #dad!nikki #mom!reader #pregnancy #baby #godfather!tommy #meet in rehab 

-Best Friends  Summary: Omg colson and Dougie getting close to Nikki’s teen daughter (in a big brother way) #the dirt cast #the dirt movie filming #dad!nikki #daughter!reader #brothers in all but blood #brother figure!douglas #brother figure!mgk/colson baker #protective

-Twins  Summary: Can I request a lil something that Nikki is dating a girl but she’s an identical twin and Nikki can never tell them apart? (Maybe a lil smut;) #twin!reader #messing with nikki #headcanon

-Support  Summary: can you do a Headcanon about Nikki’s daughter having a baby? #single mom!reader #grandpa!nikki #daughter!reader #baby #grandaby #headcanon

-Grounded  Summary: Headcanon for being Nikki’s teenage daughter today? & Headcanons for Nikki’s teen daughter being super close to “auntie Brit” and “Uncle Tom”?? #dad!nikki #daughter!reader #uncle!tommy #headcanon

-Tommy's Sister  Summary: Tommy’s sister getting with Nikki. #brother!tommy #sister!reader

-You.  Prompt:  “you’ve shown me what love can feel like.” 

-I'll Kick His Ass  When Izzy Stradlin assaults Vince Neil's wife Sharise, things heat up between the Crue and Guns N' Roses, especially since the reader is Axl Rose's ex girlfriend #brother!vince #sister!reader #guns n roses #violence against females from guns n roses #memories #protective!nikki #protective!vince #the dirt movie filming

*-Shellshock  Request:  1)Hey I saw you did a Nikki imagine that was based on a queen song ,, I was wondering if I could request that the reader is related to one of the members of queen and Nikki finds out and gets star struck 😂 sorry this is a weird request lol. 2)May I request a oneshot where reader is dating Nikki Sixx and she is best friends with Queen, especially Freddie, one day Queen makes a suprise visit? I am curious about the reactions of Motley Crue. I am rambling at this point but I would be really happy if you can write something like this🧡 #queen #crossover #queen x reader platonic #reader is queen's friend and introduces them to motley crue

-Being Ozzy Osbourne’s Daughter and Dating Nikki Sixx (Headcanon)  #headcanon # dad!ozzy #daughter!reader #secret relationship

-Nikki Meets His Child Who Was Born During The Tour  #headcanon #dad!nikki #mom!reader #pregnancy #baby

-The Love of a Brother  Description: Nikki is your older brother and he comforts you when the family past comes back to haunt you #brother!niki #sister!reader

-Protective  Can I request an imagine please with Nikki Sixx?? (been loving the dirt lately lol) i don’t a have personal preference on what it should be on. Maybe where you get hit on at a show and Nikki isn’t very happy and calls the dude out? #protective!nikki

-Headcanon for Being Nikki Sixx's Daughter  #headcanon #dad!nikki #daughter!reader

Tommy Lee

-Tommy Lee Dating Someone Who Loves Cats (Headcanon)  #headcanon

-Brother's Best Friend  Summary: Vince is your brother and he forces you to go to one of his shows. You catch Tommy’s eye and he offers to take you home when you start begging Vince to let you leave. You end up hanging with Tommy and end up liking him much more than just the drummer for your brother’s band. #brother!vince #sister!reader

-Drummer  #series #tommy lee x reader #brother!mick #sister!reader #marriage #jealosy 

-Little Drummer Boy  Description: “ I’d love to read a Dad!Tommy taking his and Reader’s kid shopping for their first little drum kit.” #dad!tommy #mom!reader #son #little drummer

-No More Secrets  Request:  can you do a fic where the reader is nikki’s sister and falls in love with tommy? nikki gets upset but everything works out in the end? thanks ✨ #brother!nikki #sister!reader #secret relationship  

-Daddy's Girl  Description: You and Tommy have a 3 year old, but you’re not together. The baby takes a liking to your new boyfriend and Tommy is jealous/hurt because he feels like he misses out on his daughter’s life. #Part 1 of 2 #dad!tommy #mom!reader#child  #angst with a happy ending 

-Headcannons for being Tommy's daughter?  #headcanon #dad!tommy #daughter!reader

-My Brother's in the Band  Summary: Your brother finds you in a compromising position with one of his bandmates #brother!mick #sister!reader

-Get a Room  You and tommy are best friends and you flirt constantly and everyone’s trying to get you two together lmao #series #part 1 of 6 #best friends to lovers  

-The No Fun Tour  SUMMARY // You’ve been working as a roadie for Motley Crue for a number of years because of your interest in the music business and family connections with Doc.  The boys are touring with Ozzy and things are looking promising for them, but if they mess up one more hotel room they’re in big trouble with Elektra Records. Doc has assigned you to watch Tommy for the night, and while the boys are like second family to you, you realize you may actually have more feelings for the drummer than you originally thought. #series #part 1 of 17 #roadie!reader #reader is motley crue's assistant #secret relationship

Vince Neil

-My Kinda Lover  song inspiration: My Kinda Lover by Billy Squier #fluff

-Newlyweds No More  #brother!mick #sister!reader #wedding night #cheating #car accident #agnst 

-Hold On Your Life  Reader is pregnant with Vince’s baby and they’ve been together for a couple of years and Vince is off on tour while she’s staying home and he accidentally overdoses and when he wakes up he’s just worried about his girl and his baby

-Dancer  Summary: You never thought that you would meet the love of your life in the strip club you worked at. #stripper!reader #single mom!reader #step dad!vince #child

-Vince Imagine                                                                                             #vince neil x reader

-The End or the Beginning  Could you please do a imagine where the reader is Razzle’s sister and has a friends with benefits relationship with Vince. The night of the car accident she was in the car with them and survived alongside Vince which leads them to get closer and end up admitting they have feelings for one another? #brother!razzle #sister!reader #angst #car accident 

-Drunk Confessions  Request: Your Tommy Lee’s sister and Vince falls in love with you #brother!tommy #sister!reader

-Me and You Plus Two  Description: You and Vince have twins #dad!vince #mom!reader #birth #twins #babies 

-A Girl  Summary: When Vince finds out he’s going to be having a little girl he doubts his ability to raise a young woman into adulthood. #dad!vince #mom!reader #pregnancy 

-Being Vince Neil’s Identical Twin Brother (Headcanon)  #headcanon #twin!vince

-Persephone  Description: Reader is a famous singer and has an innocent image but when she turns 18 the label wants to up her sex appeal so her and Vince’s record label have them fake date—the media nicknames them as Hollywood’s Hades and Persephone. #headcanon #singer!reader #fake relationship #becomes real

-Try                                                                                                       Description: Reader is Tommy’s sister and she’s best friends with Mick and falls for Vince and she’s really obvious about it but only Mick sees it and teases her about it #brother!tommy #sister!reader #best friend!mick 

-One Chance  Vince falling for a girl and her not realizing it, this one is for you! #cousin!mick #cousin!reader #oblivious!reader

-Lights  SUMMARY: A road trip for more booze doesn’t end well with a drunk Vince driving and Razzle and Y/N tagging along. #character death #car accident 

-Headcanon for Being Vince's daughter after Skylar  #headcanon #dad!vince #daughter!reader

*-Borrowing  #brother!tommy #sister!reader #continue the family name

-My Kinda Lover  Vince being shy around a girl, getting nervous and messing up a show when she’s there #before motley crue was a band

Mics.

-Trouble Summary: I’d like to request a Nikki Sixx, where the reader is a good friend of him, and just as crazy and they party a lot and she always comes up with stupid ideas such as throwing a tv out of the window, or lighting up mick’s room and they are all just crazy and do a lot of crazy and stupid things? So she is kind of a part of the Terror Twins? #terror twins plus one

-Preference #12 - Motley Meets The Baby  #mick mars x reader #dad!mick #mom!reader #nikki sixx x reader #dad!nikki #mom!reader #tommy lee x reader #dad!tommy #mom!reader #vince neil x reader #dad!vince #mom!reader #new baby

Douglas Booth

-Head-canons for Nikki’s daughter meeting Douglas Booth or MGK and being like O_O shit he’s hot 😂  #headcanon #dad!nikki #daughter!reader #the dirt movie filming

-Makeup Artist  Summary: Omg Nikki’s teen daughter helping with Dougie’s makeup for the movie #dad!nikki #daughter!reader #makeup artist!reader #the dirt movie filming

-Having a Baby with Douglas Booth (Headcanon)                           #headcanon #dad!douglas #mom!rader #pregnancy #baby

-It Just Sort of Happened (Douglas Booth Imagine)  #the dirt movie filming #dad!tommy #daughter!reader

Machine Gun Kelly/Colson Baker 

-Head-canons for Nikki’s daughter meeting Douglas Booth or MGK and being like O_O shit he’s hot 😂  #headcanon #dad!nikki #daughter!reader #the dirt movie filming

-Being Pete Davidson’s Sister and Dating Machine Gun Kelly (Headcanon) #headcanon #brother!pete #sister!reader

-Having a Baby with Machine Gun Kelly/Colson Baker (Headcanon)  #part 1 of 2 #headcanon #dad!mgk/colson #mom!reader #pregnancy #baby

-Being Roger Taylor’s Daughter and Dating Machine Gun Kelly (Headcanon)  #headcanon #queen #crossover #dad!roger taylor #daughter!reader #drummer!reader

Daniel Webber

-Winning  Summary: Can we have more on Nikki’s daughter and Daniel’s relationship? #dad!nikki #daughter!reader #the dirt movie filming 

-On Set  Summary: Being Nikki’s oldest daughter and dating Daniel Webber from the Dirt. While they’re filming but you come to see Nikki, Tommy, and when Mick and Vince was on set helping. #headcanon #the dirt movie filming #dad!nikki #daughter!reader #secret relationship

[pen-observing]

Sky

Synopsis: Sometimes, undeniably, you feel weak. There are days where you feel too much but express so little that it becomes a problem. Luckily, Simeon knows you enough and has a way to bring comfort.

warnings: none

MASTERLIST

There are days where you feel so small compared to the possibility of the outside world. As you gaze out from the higher floor of the House of Lamentation you realize that even these grand windows are bigger than you. You realize how they have existed longer than you as well. Sometimes it all just feels so overwhelming and the endless sea manages to drown you in emotion. You realize as you gaze both towards the sky and the garden that; as a human, you will always exist somewhere in the middle of it all.

How can you feel emotional and vulnerable inside of your soul yet; the reflection staring back at you from the mirror doesn’t change? That glass of golden frame (gifted by the prince himself) seems both bigger and more transparent than you.  

This very state seems almost paradoxical. There is a yearning desire for expression, however, it refuses to naturally flow and relieve you of that pent up stress. Perhaps, if you actually had the time to sit down and think enough for an epiphany to reach you – an answer would present itself.

Sometimes you think that these moments hint at what might be wrong with you deep down. Sometimes you think that if you overthink thinking itself; it will become detrimental to an already weakened state. You are so, so, fragile yet want to appear strong.  

From the side of the hallway Simeon looks at you. In his angelic nature, in his artistic interpretation, he stops for a second just to observe and contemplate. He sees you with distant eyes, arms crossed, shoulders down. The artist in him remembers depictions of characters that remind him of you. The angel in him notices your gaze towards the sky and he wants to tell you how he has seen countless humans look up; he has witnessed humans achieve grace even with tired eyes like yours.  

However, Simeon as himself; both the angelic nature and skillful indulgence in something inkling to a sin – cannot allow you to shut off completely.  

You hear his soft yet still echoing footsteps, you feel his warmth on your right side and when you turn your head you notice how he is not looking at you. Why? Simeon usually tends to keep eye contact when he speaks. You follow his gaze and see it rests on the sky. Of course it does. That sky is his birth and your limitation. That sky makes you feel even smaller with Simeon right next to you.

Perhaps he longs to go back there while you long for him to stay? Simeon brings comfort, you know that. He just brought you uncertainty in this crucial moment.  

“I couldn’t help but notice that you were so focused on these clouds. Might I ask why?”  

You don’t have an immediate response and there was no way that amidst all this vulnerability you could admit to your thoughts. You couldn’t admit out loud just how different you two are.

So the answer that you utter is: “Don’t you know that everyone sees something represented in the sky?”  

Simeon hums and you look towards the window again.

“Are you trying to tell me that you actually find something that represents you in this dark Devildom sky?”

You have no answer. You have no answer and he is starring at you with intensity. Honestly, there is no way you could lie to his eyes. Would you even dare when he is able to notice all? You just look at him from the corner of your eye and he decides to gently hold your arm. Simeon doesn’t want gentle suffering.  

“Will you allow me and trust me to show you something?”  

You don’t answer but Simeon sees it in your eyes. He creates a portal. It shines contradicting the house, the whole Devildom. It is the brightest thing you have seen in a while. Diavolo’s gold shines to overwhelm, Simeon’s golden light shines to welcome. So you step in.

In an instant you feel cold wind that makes your eyes close and your whole body shiver. The ground still feels stable but you are uncertain to take even a single step. Simeon’s presence is still there, his hand is still holding your arm for safety but where did he bring you?  

“Open your eyes. I promise that there is nothing to be afraid of.”

‘Not for you there isn’t Simeon. You have been alive and seen humans come and go, gain and lose glory alike.’ You know these thoughts are just from the deepest, most depressive void of your being. Simeon places something that feels like a blanket over your shoulders and it causes you to finally open your eyes.

“D-Did you bring me to the human world?”

The top of the hill that you’re standing on overlooks a city that seems to be in between a mist. It calls out to you in something that resembles a ‘welcome home’. The ground you stand on, so firm yet so frightening, reminds you of the steps you took before your arrival to the deep darkness. The forest behind you, the sky that stretches out in various shades of lilac and gentle pink is all the proof you need. The question was purely rhetorical.  

“Why, why did you bring me here?”

It might be a curse in humanity to ask for an answer before you enjoy this. But you can’t help it! Because of the distance it seems like the clouds are a part of the city. You finally feel bigger than before, bigger than that window and that glass and that overwhelming gold. Simeon looks at you this time as you still gaze forward; towards the place where clouds and buildings seem to meet. You don’t look at him and Simeon is glad for that.

“I didn’t want you to forget that the sky you should lose and find yourself in is the one you call home. The human sky is the one that should truly represent something to you.”

You keep looking at the scenery, at the horizon. You feel something. And at last, expressing it comes naturally as well. Simeon’s voice is gentle and even as your knees shake from the cold your eyes tear up with something happy you know is supposed to trigger an epiphany.

Simeon comes up behind you, embracing your whole being and he gently speaks. You know his next words are an answer to your quiet questioning..

“I hope you know that even I am not impartial to the human sky. To me, it has always represented infinite possibility, not limit.”

And in that moment you think that, just perhaps, being in the middle of it all - is not such a bad place to be.

Yooo, i hope this brought you are least some comfort. It goes slightly angst > fluff. Honestly I was stressed during exams and wanted to reset myself by crying but I just couldn’t. So I remember a photo that my friend sent me from a hike and immediately wanted to write a comfort piece. Who else if not Simeon I mean,,,, come on. (I wrote this instead of doing my translation assignment cus she said something about wrap your word text and idk what that is,,,, my translation ain’t a burrito)

[thorne93]

The Stars Made Us (Part 1)

Prompt: In this world, you’re one of the “lucky” ones who got a soulmate, but what if the universe gives you more than you bargained for?

(Prompt challenge -- You live in a world where your soulmate can write on their skin and you will get the writing on your own and vice versa. Where they can wash away the ink on their own skin, however, the writing is forever scarred onto your skin until you meet face to face)

Word Count: 1857

Warnings: angst and language throughout

Notes: This was supposed to be for @sorryimacrapwriter and their challenge like a year ago, I think? I still loved the prompt though and have been working on this story for quite some time. This aesthetic was made by @dontshootmespence, thank you so much! Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes, couldn’t have done it without you, as well as @carryonmyswansong and @arrow-guy and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo

Also, I’ve never really liked the whole soulmate AU thing idea, but this felt so right and it was amazing to write. I hope y’all love it too!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ever since you were little, you’d heard the legends. The legend of soulmates. It was as common as Santa Claus or winning the lottery. Some weren’t sure they believed it, because although it was real, it was so rare that people didn’t know how to feel about it. Perhaps it was like believing in ghosts. Documented cases, proof, eye witness accounts weren’t enough to sway some skeptics. Yet, it had to be real because there was a registry, much like when you go to get your license or file a birth certificate or a social security number. There was a system in place to keep track of soulmates.

While others, mainly hopeless romantics, truly believed in soulmates. You heard whispers of it when people talked of their grandparents “perfect marriage” and how they just had to be soulmates. You’d heard some kids on the playground swear their cousin just got their soulmate. 

Now, it wasn’t for everyone. It was a rarity, and much like winning the lottery, it only happened to a select few. 

The few were seemingly random. Everyone from celebrities and CEOs down to starving artists and people who managed grocery stores. It touched all races, religions, and economic status. It was global. It wasn’t unheard of for a South American woman to be mated with a French man. Or one Australian to find their mate within Africa. 

Stories of epic journeys to find their love and mate had been told as bedtime stories. Heart wrenching stories of soulmates who never got to be together. 

The idea of soulmates was so endowed in the world and in history that it was rare enough to be celebrated, but common enough to be easily accepted. That’s why, when people walked with scars all over their body, formed in words, people didn’t even think twice.

That’s how it worked. On people’s 18th birthday, their soulmate was assigned, if they had one. Writing on any part of your skin would show up on your mate’s skin as a scar, and vice-versa. For two days out of the year, their birthdays, they could communicate this way. 

The only downside was that you couldn’t give out your information to your mate -- that part was up to the universe. When they needed you most, their name and address would show up on your arm. It could be life or death, it could be a mental breakdown, it could be that they’re hurt and need a friend. But until then, you shouldn’t share personal information. People had done it before, met their mates before the universe decided it was time, and awful things tended to happen. 

But if they were patient enough, willing enough to wait for the right day, it would all be worth it and they were usually guaranteed a happy life. 

Even though you grew up with this knowledge, you’d let it fall to the wayside in your mind. School and friendships took precedence, and you led your life normally. Every now and again, like on birthdays, a fleeting thought of the prospect of a soulmate would run through your head, but for the most part, you filed it away as a fantasy. 

That was, until your best friend Jenny reminded you of it on your 18th birthday.

You were having a party at your house. A group of about ten friends and you went out and played mini-golf, then had pizza at your house with cake and gifts, then watched a new movie. Your parents gave you money to buy a lottery ticket for fun, and gave you some money for college. 

Nearly everyone had gone home, and your parents already wished you a happy birthday with hugs and kisses before going off to bed. All that was left were you and Jenny, and she was about to walk out the door.

“I’m just saying, you’re 18 now,” she stated as she walked. 

“Yeah, I gathered that when I counted 18 candles on the cake, what’s your point?” you asked with a smile.

“My point is, maybe you should try and see if you’ve got a soulmate.” 

You shook your head and rolled your eyes. “Jenny, the odds of me having a soulmate are like 1 in a million. It’s a silly idea.”

“That’s been true. You know it and I know it. What’s the harm in finding out? I just had a cousin last year that found out. She wrote some appointment down when she was 21, her soulmate got it and wrote back.” 

You perched an eyebrow at her. “How romantic.” 

“I’m serious! Come on, how cool would it be?” 

“It would be kind of neat,” you admitted sheepishly, grinning. “But if no one writes back--”

“Then you haven’t lost anything, and you’ll find someone great later in life. No harm, no foul. Right?” She gave you that super convincing gorgeous smile before dropping her pushiness. “Alright, alright. Just think about it, okay? Happy birthday,” she said before hugging you tightly. 

“Thanks,” you said back.

With that, you cleaned up the kitchen and living room, gathered your gifts, and headed up to bed.  You pulled on your pajamas and crawled into your bed, you sat there, thinking about what Jenny had said.

What would be the harm in writing on your arm? If no one spoke back, it was no big deal, right? 

But if they didn’t write back, would you be saddened? You’d always secretly hoped you had a soulmate out there, so to find out you didn’t have one would be a little devastating. Of course, your life wouldn’t be over, and like Jenny said, you could always find a partner just like you normally would. 

Ultimately, it was just a schoolgirl fantasy… but what if it wasn't? you wondered idly as you sat with your leg propped up on the bed. 

You grabbed a pen off your nightstand and took a deep breath, trying to think of the best thing to ask - this would be scarred on them indefinitely after all. 

You thought, and you thought, pondering anything you could say. But what do you say to a potential soulmate? Finally, you decided there was no perfect way to go about this, and you put your pen to your arm, writing: Is anyone out there? 

You held your breath for a second, wondering if you’d get a scar somewhere in response, even bracing for some form of pain, but after a few moments -- nothing. Nothing happened. 

You sighed. Well, it was a long shot anyway.

After lying in bed disappointed for a while, a feather light sensation came crawling across your arm. You frowned for a split second before glancing down and seeing the letters. Instantly, a grin grew wide across your face. 

“Hi there. : )” 

You wanted to jump for joy. Immediately, your heart soared at the sight. Someone out there was actually fated to be yours? You couldn’t believe this. Why you? You weren’t special. 

“This is my email, if you would like to talk more,” you offered, scribbling on your skin before adding in your email. You opted for email since any other form of communication you might be tempted to find out their name.

Within two minutes, a ping noise came from your computer. You sprang from your bed, not even caring that you were the epitome of a school girl right that second. You dashed the cursor over to your inbox and read the new email. 

“Hello. So I suppose this means we’re soulmates...”

“I suppose it does,” you wrote back, a giant grin on your face. 

“We should probably get some of the formalities out of the way. What should I call you? How old are you?” 

“You can call me… Y/F/I. And I’m 18, today is my birthday. I’m sure you’ve heard the stories of people giving out their information before their time. I think we should stick to initials.” 

One minute later, in the same penmanship, you felt something on your bicep -- Happy Birthday

The smile on your face lit back up. 

“That’s my gift to you. And yes, I have heard of the stories. I would rather be safe than sorry as well. You can call me X. I’m 21. I’m in college, actually in graduate school.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. You’re already in grad school? How? What’s your area of study? I’m going into college in the fall - psychology.” 

“I think I should be surprised, but I’m not. That’s what my PhD will be in,” he informed. “As well as genetics and biophysics.” 

Well, the universe is funny, isn’t it? 

You continued to read his message. 

“Long story short, I graduated college at 16. Harvard, if you can believe it.”

Instantly, you were hit with a wave of surprise and shock. Your soulmate was a genius? He was a Harvard grad at 16? In what universe was that possible?

“That’s… really impressive. God I wish I could do that. It’d be amazing to be already done with college. I haven’t even gone there yet but it seems like a lot of work and a lot of stress. Hopefully, the pay off will be worth it though.” 

“What are you wanting to do with your degree?”

“Psychiatry.”

“A noble profession.” 

“I think so. I’d like to help people, as corny as that sounds.”

“I don’t think it sounds corny at all. Quite admirable, in fact. If people didn’t feel that way, we wouldn’t have good people in the world.”

He already thought you were a good person? you wondered, warmth spreading over you.

“I guess that is one way to look at it. I just want to help people and be a voice for people who don’t exactly have a lot of advocates.”

“That’s precisely why we get into these professions, darling,” he wrote.

Darling? Wow, so far, this guy was the jackpot. 

“I suppose it is. So what are some of your favorite books, if you don’t mind me asking? And movies. I feel like a quick way to get to know someone pretty well is through their interests.”

“Indeed it is,” he replied. “I happen to favor T.H. White’s The Once and Future King, as far as books go and I don’t particularly have time for many films.”

“Oh, I see,” you started, and then explained your favorite books and film. 

He had asked you why you liked those and you went into a rather lengthy explanation of why you enjoyed them more than others. After that you two talked music, actually having quite a lot in common there. 

You stayed up all night emailing, until the sun came up. It wasn’t until the glare hit your computer screen that you realized it, either. You didn’t want to end the magical evening, but you did need rest, and you were sure as a grad student, he needed all he could get as well. 

That morning you went to sleep with this newfound relief. It was one less thing you’d have to worry about in life. Worry about finding a mate, a partner for life. They were already there, already perfect, already waiting…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Tag: 

@essie1876

@magpiegirl80

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked

@iamwarrenspeace

@marvel-imagines-yes-please

@superwholocked527

@missinstantgratification

@thejemersoninferno

@rda1989

@munlis

@thefridgeismybestie

@bubblyanarocks3

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@kaeling

@friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo 

@damalseer

@heyitscam99

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@sorryimacrapwriter

@glitterquadricorn

@xxqueenofisolationxx 

@little-dis-kaalista-pythonissama

@bittersweetunicorm

@alyssaj23 

@sea040561

@princess76179

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@sarahp879

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@ellallheart

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@marvelmayo

@lyniboy

@paintballkid711

Charles Xavier

@bohemianrhapsody86

@lenawiinchester​

[died-by-the-scimitar]

Also, 38 for the prompt thing! “I want to write you poetry, to write songs about you and draw your portrait! I want to make things for you! It frustrates the hell out of me hat I can’t draw and I can’t sing or write or play instruments or paint…You inspire me so fucking much…” ❤️

First of, thank you for giving me this prompt! It inspired me so much, I’m sorry I took ages to write.

Florence, 1503

Pairing: Joe x Nicky

5158 words

Friends to Lovers, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani is an Incurable Romantic, Nicky | Nicolo di Genova Needs a Hug, Firenze | Florence, Renaissance Era, Painting

Coming Together, First Kiss, Declarations Of Love, a hint of angst, Period-Typical Smell

read it here on ao3

Summary: Nicolò and Yusuf have some time off and whilst one of them indulges in the art and architecture around town, the growing influence and the young talent rising from the unknown, the other battles his growing feelings and insecurity whenever he sees his companion. It all comes to a close when they get the chance to visit a new, young talent, a certain Michelangelo.

‘It should be around here somewhere, the workshop can’t be that well-hidden in a city like this, these perfumed artists live off of exposure and the possibility to show off their work to the eyes of the world. Wasn’t there someone at that last banquet who told you where to find it? There must have been!’

‘Yes,’ Nicolò dragged him through Florence’s busy streets, past the vendors and open shops, ‘as I’ve told you already, you were too preoccupied listening to the patron, but I got the directions from one of his most prominent clients who told me he would most likely be working on an assignment given to him by the city.’

‘Do you think we’ll get to see it, the alleged masterpiece?’ Yusuf’s eyes darted around the road, from one side of the road to the other, inspecting the shops they passed, ‘Look, they have figs and dates, would you like some?’

He disappeared from Nicolò’s side and materialised again next to one of the vendors offering small earthen pots with fresh fruit that were full of tastes and juices to purchase one for them to share on the last leg of the walk. Florence had brought out new facets of his personality and as much as Nicolò had grumbled at the idea of staying there for a prolonged time, too far from the coast and the comfortable familiarity of what had once been his home, Yusuf’s comfort took priority. Even after centuries, the republic of Genoa still held a place in his heart and the rivalry between the his birth town and Florence made it harder for him to appreciate the summer spent in Florence as they waited for Quynh and Andromache to return from the North. Yusuf enjoyed the long hours of sunlight they got, the late dinners taken after days spent lazing around the city, and no matter how much Nicolò wanted to get out of Medici territory, he would not force the matter.

continue reading on ao3

[bookfreaky]

LOVE DOING - The Analysis

Intro:

I try to never analyse my work while still working on it, because I believe that the painting must be born from an image in your head, or a feeling, and not from a concrete idea. That is the foundation of abstractionism. Then when you’re finished and you are kind of star-gazing your own work, you try to find what made you create all that, what made you use that colour or this shape. I did that and I saw that all the dots were connected in the same theme: Love.  

Love as a broad concept and my experience with that. I think love is a very liquid sentiment, like water, it takes the shape of its every container you put it, but pretty much it’s still love. That same impulse is there. It can be like water also in the way it reflects the sun light, how it changes colours and distorts shapes. Love can be illusory; it can be lysergic but it can also be the answer to many simple questions in life. In its gas form it can be contagious and performative as it inhabits imagination, but it can also become solid when under pressure, just like water becomes ice under high pressures. In difficult situations, the love you feel for that person may be the only thing that keeps you going. I experienced that, and I think many people did too with so many people getting ill and dying during the Covid pandemic.

Like water it nurtures, like water it drowns. Love can be represented as a substance, like it just did, but also it persists as an action, an abstract action at so, an actual verb. In abstractionism, it’s to be said that colour is verb while shape is noun (I won’t remember to said that), for that reason I focused in this collection mainly in two colours in their variations, red and blue. Without the political branding aesthetic, red is seen in psychoanalysis as a active colour, the colour of human blood. Blue could be described as a “calmer” colour, but not so lacking in action. As Rebecca Solnit said, I quote:

“Water is colourless, shallow water appears to be the colour of whatever lies underneath it, but deep water is full of this scattered light, the purer the water the deeper the blue. The sky is blue for the same reason, but the blue at the horizon, the blue of land that seems to be dissolving into the sky, is a deeper, dreamier, melancholy blue, the blue at the farthest reaches of the places where you see for miles, the blue of distance.”

So I dedicate this four paintings to the people I love and whomever loves things, but also to all the feelings that come about with love. Some of these paintings are capable of calming me and I could keep looking at them for hours, forgetting about myself. Others make me feel angsty, uncomfortable and looking at them oblige me to think about my own existence and fear my future.

I really hope you look at the paintings before you read the whole thing, and suffer through the same. Thank you.  

Love Escaping Into the Blue:

This one was the first painting I made, before I imagined it to be a collection, and it was born from the experience of decompressing love from a place of deep passion; where you are taken by this sudden and enormous sadness but also relief. I felt free, really. I read this biology paper from the Monterey Bay Aquarium, called “Light in the Deep Sea”, and it explains that there’s some uniformity of colour in the ocean animals according to how deep in the water they inhabit. Animals living in the great depths of the sea, between 6,000 and 11,000 meters deep, have commonly a very vivid red colour, but closer to the surface of the water, between 200 and 1,000 meters deep, most animals are silver and grey. That’s because in this depth the brightness of sunlight is fragmented into a blue colour, and grey reflects the blue light creating the illusion that the animal is, in fact, blue. A Blue Whale is actually grey, not blue.

[Seadevil Fish (Cryptosaras couesii), left. Blue Whale (Balaenoptera musculus), right.]

The painting shows a leak of red coming into blue and bluer space, which is this feeling of infatuation and selfish desire, possession, fear and jealousy that is very red in colour and has connotations of violence and anger, moving into a place that is not so deep in the water but clearer and wider as the open sea, illuminated by this navy-blue light. It’s like you can finally breathe and see that your love is still there, but it has changed. In hope by being closer to the atmosphere it is also somehow closer to the divine. I imagine some people might feel lost when love escapes into the blue, and I get this sensation too, but it’s about loving freely, learning how not to feel love so deeply into ourselves, but widely like the ocean.

Love Growing in the Pit of the Stomach: 

When I looked at this painting in particular after it was done, I had this sensation of angst that was difficult for me to name. It’s about desire, it’s about this feeling growing inside of you that you know it will be something more than what you want, but what you need. I’ve become obsessed with the image of holes, looking like they are piercing the canvas; I think they show this emptiness I feel, like a window showing how hollow I am inside, but also, they give me this satisfying feeling by looking at them, like opening a wound and poking a bubble. I think this emptiness comes from the idea most trans women cannot take away from the back of their heads, which is if you do or do not have a “female genitalia”. Gender in our culture is very centred around genitals and biological sex, for centuries being a woman has been defined by the person who’s able to carry a man’s child. There is this little fantasy of mine where women have this little hole in them that can swallow the world. The idea of it, for me, has grown into a very real desire very much like the desire for sex. Actually, very close to sex too. But the roots growing out of the hole, in green and blue, represent pain and fear, because I’m not sure if I’m okay with the idea of having to undergo a surgical procedure to fulfil this fantasy, neither I am sure if it is a fantasy or a need.

Most of my work resembles yonic shapes (resembling the form of a vulva), either in this work or in former ones, and it’s never intentional, it sort of just slips from my subconscious. I believe that the vulva, as well as the womb, are under-shadowed symbols of power. Phallic shapes are very common in art and what-not, they are usually associated with offense and aggression. Like when school boys draw a dick on the toilet stalls as if marking their territory. The vulva, however, is never quite portrayed like that.

I read about this Japanese visual artist, Megumi Igarashi, who made several pieces of art shaped after her own vagina, including a yellow vagina-boat (which I absolutely loved) and she got arrested and fined for “obscenity”. I think that for her subversive art-form she should be considered a national hero. Many man-made constructions are phallic images, look at the Washington Obelisk, or the Eiffel Tower, but in nature we most commonly find yonic shapes, like the Grand Canyon.

There is a profound violence in desiring this, feeling as if a part of your own anatomy is lacking, but you can’t grow it naturally, you can’t do it in a god-intended way. The bright red colour represents violence and sex, and in this case both. It’s way more complicated than the concept of having kids and being a mom, it’s a lot more than to be seen as sexual beings, and sexuality, and to feel loved; it’s about symbols of power and somehow getting that denied. It’s about learning how to love this new body, a body that is foreign, infertile, obscene and unconventional. That love is hard to achieve and it is violent because women, and especially trans women, have been taught to hate their bodies.  

Love Falls In The Bathroom:

This one took the longest to finish and left me with the most unsure brush-strokes, much perhaps because it isn’t based off on an idea but on a memory, on dream. In three more years I’ll be the same age my mother had and she had me, 29 years old. Somehow it feels like a looming date. Having kids and getting pregnant, specifically, have been sporadic subjects of therapy sessions – the antithesis is always the same: you are not lesser of a woman for not being able to get pregnant, you can still be a mom through other means, you are not even sure if you want kids or marriage, you can always adopt – Those answers feel reasonable, but none of them ever could appease the deep feeling of something missing in me, like something is perpetually wrong with me. Then I understood that in this painting, I was trying to evoke these feelings. Love and grief.

[My mother, pregnant with me, in the 90s.] 

My friends tell me I seem to be older than I actually am, and sometimes I wonder if that’s not because I had never been a happy child. I feel like I had my childhood robbed from me. I mean, I had an okay, comfortable childhood, and a problematic teenage-hood, but I never had a girlhood. I am still grieving it. I had been assigned male at birth, I’m still grieving that too.

In July of this year, I experienced a very vivid dream, in which although short all the images and the sensations were, felt very real. I was taking a shower in my bathroom, I close off the water, wrap myself around a towel, my usual pink one, and when I’m stepping out of the shower stall I fell. I hit my right elbow against the toilet lid as I fell with my legs open in opposite directions, a sharp pain struck me under my thighs, close to my groin, and a light string of blood followed right after that. It wasn’t menstruation blood, thin and clear red, but thick and dark. It was all very quick but I knew, right then, right there, exactly everything that was happening. I was pregnant, 13 weeks, alone in the bathroom floor, surrounded by blood. I wonder how many days of my recent life, how many hours a day, I am really just sitting down alone on my bathroom’s floor surrounded by blood. I woke up and it still felt very real. I had spent the next two days very quiet, not wanting to speak to anyone. I wanted to tell someone as soon as I was back from the dream, but I couldn’t do it. I wanted to call someone, a friend, anyone, and say “I lost it. I lost my baby”. I realised then, in that post-dreamy state, that I have been silently grieving for a lot of things, things I haven’t yet allowed myself to grieve for. Things I still did not have a chance.

Love Lost In Imagination:

This one is the only one what doesn’t forecast red and blue colours, but instead in red and blue paint mixed together in a royal purple colour. It was the last one I made, and it’s the one that differs the most in shape. I like to imagine it was love in it’s gas form, vaping inside your brain like Nitrous-oxide, with white-coloured cloud shapes and yellow peacock eye-feathers. It’s about how sometimes love can only exist in imagination, how we often elaborate better scenarios in our heads, and we think “what if things were different?”. I believe to be okay to fantasize, anyway the utopia is what moves us towards a reality, but sometimes we can get lost in imagination, and in questioning the same questions over and over. “What if I hadn’t done this and done that?”; “What if I hadn’t said no?”; “What if I had stayed longer to watch that movie?”; “What if had come out as trans earlier?”; “What if I had become a professional writer?”; “What if I had born a woman?”. Is love real if it perpetrates only in thought?

I would be more than happy to quote some of Saint Augustine here, and his theological virtues, love being one of them, but I wouldn’t like to make this essay even longer and complicated.

I think to myself sometimes, when was it that I started to prefer having peace then pleasure. My head has always been very noisy, very noisy, and I wanted it to stop. Now it feels like I’m constantly too quiet about everything. That somehow, like the Little Mermaid by Hans Christensen Andersen, when transitioning into a woman I exchanged my legs (my body) for my voice, and now I can’t voice or even pinpoint what I want. I’m just so tired. So, so tired. My mental health hasn’t been great for more than one year, and the pandemic didn’t help. I’m constantly anxious around people, even the closest ones to me (especially the closest ones to me), I’ve been eating like a bird and sleeping like a cat. Still, sometimes I imagine what future I would like, and I imagine myself living somewhere with open space, trees, breeding horses just like my grandfather did, space for dogs, musical instruments and the kids. Space for being big.

The painting makes me think that sometimes I can only love myself in this imaginary place. Otherwise, it just looks slightly like a chicken’s head. You decide.    

- Original work, G.L. Alódio.

[jacaranda-bloom]

Monthly fic rec showcasing some of the fics I’ve read this month, and let me tell, you there have been a lot -  partly because I’m reprioritising my reading again and partly because we are being inundated with an avalanche of amazing fics at the moment. So yeah, be prepared for a fairly sizeable list under the cut.

In this instalment, there are fics from @sunflowrsix @kiddleau @metal-eye @flamboyantommo @icanhazzalou @sadaveniren @crinkle-eyed-boo @lululawrence @beau-soleil-louis​ @homosociallyyours @kingsofeverything @crazyupsetter @laynefaire and @allwaswell16.

Thank you to all the writers for sharing their wonderful talent with us. Please don’t forget to leave kudos and a comment if you enjoy their work. 💜

💜 an entire desert in our hourglass by tofiveohfive

@sunflowrsix Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 19k

# Pre-apocalypse, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, post break-up, getting back together, anal sex, alcohol.

The world is ending. Harry comes over.

💜 bloodsport by tofiveohfive 

@sunflowrsix

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 40k

# Friday Night Lights AU, angst, post break-up, getting back together, underage drinking, anal sex, American football.

“You know how our next game is against the Cardinals, right? You remember how vicious those guys can get. I wanted us to come up with some plays, maybe work on a block from the left—”

Louis stops when he hears a chuckle.

He doesn’t think he’s said anything particularly funny, so he turns to Harry, waiting for an explanation.

“‘S funny, ‘s all.” Harry throws his finished bottle somewhere near the other discarded ones. “This is the first time you’re talking to me in eight months, and it’s still about football.”

💜 Half A Million Strong by kiddle

@kiddleau Part 1 of the Woodstock Series

Harry/Louis | Mature | 51k

# Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Famous Harry, Non-Famous Louis, Historical, 1960′s, Woodstock, Coming of Age, Recreational Drug use.

Louis Tomlinson is a young writer for a relatively new-on-the-scene rock magazine called Rolling Stone. His assignment is to fly across the country to cover the highly anticipated Woodstock Music and Art Festival. Armed with a notebook, audio recorder, and a camera, Louis just needs one big interview.

Harry Styles. A new name in rock music and a future name in rock history. His first album sold tens of thousands and his interviews attract audiences across the country. He has the poetry of Jim Morrison and the stage presence of Mick Jagger. And after seeing him perform at the festival, Louis is willing to jump through hoops to put Harry on the cover of Rolling Stone.

💜 Gather No Moss by kiddle

@kiddleau Part 2 of the Woodstock Series

Harry/Louis | Mature | 50k 

# Friends to Lovers, Famous Harry, Non-Famous Louis, Historical, 1960′s, Pining Tour bus, Coming of Age, Recreational Drug use.

Music journalist Louis Tomlinson will do just about anything to get a story he’s passionate about. Including spending a week on tour with the hard-to-manage rockstar-in-the-making Harry Styles. In the late 60s, every long-haired kid thinks they can make it in music, and Louis’ job is to figure out what exactly makes Harry so special. That is if he can get him to put down the bottles and guitars to answer a question truthfully.

💜 Caught By The Sun by metal_eye

@metal-eye Tumblr Fic Post Part 1 of the Caught By The Sun series

Harry/Louis | Mature | 19k

# Cabin AU, Summer Romance, Young Love, Skinny Dipping, First Time, Idiots In Love, Symbolic Thunderstorms, Bonfires.

He came every summer. It wasn’t even a question. Harry and his parents—one step, one real—picked up their lives, packed it into a car, and drove long enough to land at the ends of the earth.

The cabin had been in his family for a hundred years. There was no TV, no phone, no computer, no radio. There were decks of cards and plastic deer and marbles. There were skis and leaves and a treehouse.

And then there was Louis.

Or, Harry and Louis meet every summer at the lake.

💜 Somewhere Where You’re There by metal_eye

@metal-eye Part 2 of the Caught By The Sun series

Harry/Louis | Mature | 4k

# Cabin AU, Timestamp, Nostalgia, Blow Jobs, Boat Sex, Lake Sex.

The greatest luxury, in this new part of their lives, should have been time. It stretched at varied intervals with no attention to what the real world might find convenient. Hours yawned like horses’ mouths, stretching backwards in the effort of seconds. Except that Harry couldn’t help feeling like he’d missed out, somehow. That he needed to hurry. They’d been denied their formative horny years. Something had to give.

A Caught by the Sun timestamp in which they are both lazy and horny, and some things get resolved.

💜 Members Only by kikikryslee

@flamboyantommo Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Mature | 14k

# Gyms, Boxing, Awkward Flirting, Mutual Pining. Locker Room, Semi-Public Sex, Smut.

“Well, I’m gonna go work out now, so…” Harry said, his voice trailing off. Louis nodded. “Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Go get, uh, you know, strong and buff.” What? Louis wanted to die. “Um, thanks?” Harry said. “Um…” Without another word, Harry walked away from the desk. Louis pinched his thigh – hard – hoping that was some terrible, awkward nightmare that he might soon wake up from. Or, the one where Louis works at Harry's new gym and neither one of them knows how to hold a coherent conversation with the other.

💜 I’d Still Dance With You by kikikryslee

@flamboyantommo Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Mature | 57k

# Age Difference, Louis is 28, Harry is 21, Mutual Pining, Angst, Student Harry, Ad Exec Louis, Slow Burn, Smut, Bottom Harry, Top Louis.

“Well, I’m gonna go work out now, so…” Harry said, his voice trailing off. Louis nodded. “Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Go get, uh, you know, strong and buff.” What? Louis wanted to die. “Um, thanks?” Harry said. “Um…” Without another word, Harry walked away from the desk. Louis pinched his thigh – hard – hoping that was some terrible, awkward nightmare that he might soon wake up from. Or, the one where Louis works at Harry's new gym and neither one of them knows how to hold a coherent conversation with the other.

💜 Naked and Proud by kiwikero

@icanhazzalou Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 19k

# Farmer Harry, Songwriter Louis, Small Town, Organic Food, Summer Romance, Lust At First Sight, Pining, Smut.

The town itself is tiny, as evidenced by the ten minutes it’s taken Louis to drive the entire thing. There’s not a single recognisable brand in sight—no Tesco or McDonald’s or even a bloody Starbucks. Lining the streets instead are mom and pop stores with names like ‘Jerry’s Burgers’ and ‘The Market Basket’ and…

“'Naked & Proud?'” Louis almost slams on the brakes at the outlandish sign, the name written in a seemingly innocent font, words curved around a large cartoon peach. He can’t help turning into the carpark, easing the car into a spot next to a beat up truck.

He isn’t sure what to make of it. Surely it isn’t a strip joint or sex shop, not with the families and little old ladies going in and out of the establishment. Some kind of nudist hangout, perhaps?

And, oh, God. Did Louis’ mother accidentally send him to live in a nudist colony?

In which Harry runs an organic store, not a nudist colony, and Louis doesn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

💜 Paint The Sky With Stars by kiwikero

@icanhazzalou Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Mature | 63k

# Titanic AU, Strangers to Lovers, Happy Ending.

On 10 April 1912, Harry Styles boards the finest ship the world has ever seen. Still grieving the death of their mother, he and his sister are being sent to America to live with a callous uncle who cares more about his business connections than family. Harry prepares himself for a long, disappointing voyage alone in his stateroom.

Louis Tomlinson has borrowed and saved, and finally has enough to purchase a Third Class ticket to America. With all of his belongings in a single ruck sack, he boards the Titanic filled with hope for a brighter future. Never one to sit still, he can’t resist exploring the massive ship, and soon goes sneaking into First Class in a stolen steward’s uniform.

By a twist of fate, Louis finds himself in Harry’s stateroom, entranced by the most attractive man he’s ever laid eyes on. He keeps returning day after day, even if he doesn’t understand what it is about Harry that continues pulling him in. That’s all right; Louis has a week to figure it out, and Harry is plenty willing to help.

Except they don’t have a week. They have four days. Because on 15 April, their entire world will be turned upside down.

Or, the historically accurate Titanic AU with a happy ending.

💜 Just For Tonight (I can be yours) by SadaVeniren

@sadaveniren Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 43k

# ABO, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Prince Harry Styles, Secret Relationship, Arranged Marriage, Mpreg Harry, Smut.

Harry, prince of Cestrescir, has been betrothed to Ludvic, prince of Yorvik, since birth. He'd accepted a loveless marriage as his duty to his country, until an accident threw him in the path of a gentle alpha.

💜 Live A Thousand Lifetimes by Layne Faire (HisDarlin)

@laynefaire Tumblr Fic Post

Liam/Zayn | Explicit | 58k

# Exes to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Farm Setting, Vineyard, B&B, Horses, Smut, (check full tags).

It’s 2025.

After secretly writing and producing their first album in ten years, One Direction is weeks away from releasing their first new single and announcing a world tour.

With the whirlwind about to begin again, Liam re-evaluates the last ten years - the fame, the money, the people who changed his life forever - and the person who walked away.

💜 Mine Would Be You by crinkle-eyed-boo

@crinkle-eyed-boo Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 115k

#  Exes to Lovers, Artist Harry, Writer Louis, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Jumps, Smut.

Louis blinks his eyes open, his eyelids fluttering as the room swims around him. He takes several gulps of beer once he confirms that he’s definitely not hallucinating, that the very first portrait Harry Styles ever painted of him is hanging on that wall.

Louis stares at the wall, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest as he realizes that there’s not just one painting of him, there’s five, the portraits lined up like they’re some sort of storyboard depicting the rise and fall of his deepest love. His greatest heartache. A pain that cut him so deep that he left the fucking country, severing all ties with his life in New York, now suddenly surrounding him as if he’d never left.

Fucking shit motherfucker fuck.

Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

💜 Own The Scars by crinkle-eyed-boo

@crinkle-eyed-boo Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 115k

#  Friends to Lovers, Drug Addiction, Coma, Rehab, Intervention, Recovery, Therapy, Tomlinshaw (Larry Endgame), Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, (check full tags).

“But I don’t belong here,” Louis insists. “Why do you say that?” James asks. “These people are all drug addicts and alcoholics,” Louis shrugs. Something sparks in James’ eyes. “And you’re not?”

Louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friend, for the life he's supposed to want. After an accident that nearly costs him his life, Louis' parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to face his demons. On the long and difficult road to recovery, Louis must confront the truths he’s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. Because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first.

💜 Fiction Romance by orphan account

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 18k

#  Strangers to Lovers, Blind Date, Punk Louis, Student Harry, Smut.

Harry has a type.

He likes older, sophisticated, mature men. Well-educated men. Men with life experience and passion for arts and social causes. Men who are established in their careers, who've sorted their lives out.

Niall knows this.

And so Harry can't understand why he's sat here opposite Louis Tomlinson.

💜 If Only We Wish Hard Enough by lululawrence

@lululawrence Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Not Rated | 5k

# Peter Pan Fusion, Louis is Peter, Harry is Tinkerbelle (except he’s the same size as Louis), Friends to Lovers (no smut), Flirting, Pining, Fluff.

Before Harry let Louis know he was there, he gave himself a moment to just admire him. Truly take him in.

Today, Louis was wearing one of his soft, simple green dresses that in many ways resembled the ones fairies often wore. Harry loved when Louis wore dresses. They showed off Louis’ waist and thighs more than any of his other outfits, and Harry loved that about them.

“You know I can hear your wings fluttering so you aren’t fooling anyone,” Louis said before turning and looking over his shoulder.

Or the five times fic where Louis is Peter Pan, Harry is his best friend Tinkerbelle, and it takes them awhile but they figure things out.

💜 I Can’t Do This Alone (Sometimes I just need a light) by Only_angel_28

@beau-soleil-louis Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Not Rated | 8k

# Strangers to Lovers (no smut), Meet Cute, Doctor Harry, Tattoo Artist Louis, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Loneliness, Touch-Starved Harry, Flirting, Fluff, Hopeful Ending, (check full tags).

“Harry,” he says after another contemplative moment, “can I hug you?”

It’s been...well, Harry doesn’t actually know how long it’s been. Less than an hour, probably, but already Louis says his name like it’s safe in his mouth, and now he’s opening his arms like Harry could be safe there too.

“Please,” Harry nearly sobs, and sinks into him the way butter melts on toast. It’s an apt metaphor, really, because what Louis is giving him is as essential and sustaining as a loaf of bread to a starving man. His basic need for physical affection is as vital as his need for sustenance, for sleep, and he can’t believe he’s allowed himself to ignore it for so long.

Or: Harry is having a rough time. Louis is the kind stranger who makes him smile again.

💜 You Make Lovin’ Fun by homosociallyyours

@homosociallyyours  Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 110k

# Girl Direction, Strangers to Lovers, Polyamory, Cruise Ships, Silver Fox Louis, Daddy Kink, Age Difference, Smut.

Harry is a 28 year old travel writer at a gay magazine who gets the assignment to go a lesbian cruise. She figures it's a nice chance to have some fun in the sun, but she's not expecting much else-- even if her partner and best friend are both encouraging her to hook up with someone while she's there.

When she locks eyes with a gorgeous silver fox from across the room, she starts to think she could've been wrong. There are lots of things standing in the way of anything real happening with her and Louis, but that doesn't stop them from falling for one another. True love isn't always easy, but they do make lovin' fun.

💜 As Deep As The Sky by swallowsmateforlife

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 12k

# ABO, Strangers to Lovers, Alpha Harry, Omega Louis, Smut.

A passed-out omega on the bathroom floor isn't exactly what Harry had in mind when he thought about taking a cute boy home. The idea of leaving Louis there, vulnerable and unresponsive, weighs guiltily at Harry's conscience. Turns out it's the best decision he'll ever make.

💜 Someone To Fly Home To by kingsofeverything

@kingsofeverything Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 35k

# Exes to Lovers, Divorce, Older Harry/Louis (in their 50s), Pilot Louis, Teacher Harry, Smut.

Louis. 55 year old pilot who wants someone to fly home to. Harry swipes right.

💜 Ghost Note Symphony by whoknows

@crazyupsetter

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 96k

# Proximity Curse, Blood and Gore, Supernatural Elements, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Smut, (check full tags).

Louis is on tour when he first hears about it. It’s all over the news – Harry Styles Attacked By Fan runs in headlines for days. It’s not even just the gossip rags, either. Actual journalists are covering the story. It would have been impossible to avoid hearing about it. Technically, Oli is the one who tells Louis about it, but it’s not exactly being covered up. Harry doesn’t answer Louis’ text asking if he’s alright, but that’s not really surprising. They haven’t spoken for months, and it’s been a lot longer than that since they’ve had a real conversation. The sting of the text going unanswered is still there, less painful than it might have been a few years ago.

It’s not that it’s easy to forget about, exactly. Louis has a whole life outside of One Direction now, though. So Louis goes on with his life, figuring that if Harry was seriously hurt he would have heard about it by now. He might currently be in the same country as Harry, but being on opposite sides of it puts enough distance between them that putting it in the back of his mind is easy. There’s nothing Louis could do, even if he thought Harry might want him to.

That’s why everything that happens next comes as a complete shock to him.

💜 Soaked In The Blood Of Angels by whoknows

@crazyupsetter

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 41k

# Creatures AU, Vampires, Incubus, Dubious Consent, Blood and Violence, Smut, (check full tags).

The boy looks drugged, caught between a man who’s almost twice his size and a girl who looks like she wouldn’t even break a sweat snapping him in half despite her small stature, eyes closed and mouth open as he pants, arching up between them almost as if he’s trying to escape.

Normally, Harry would ignore it and continue on his search for someone to drink from, someone who wouldn’t mind his sharp teeth and rough hands. He’s seen plenty of boys like this one, ones who picked the wrong playmates, and if he stopped to rescue every single one of them he would have died from thirst a long time ago.

This one, though. There’s something about this one, the sheen of his bright blue eyes as he blinks slowly, looks around as though he doesn’t know where he is, the weakness of his hands as he tries to push the girl off of him and make his escape.

💜 Say Something by kingsofeverything

@kingsofeverything Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 105k

# ABO, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Age Difference, 50 Year Old Harry, 28 Year Old Louis, Insecure Harry, Unplanned Pregnancy, Lawyer Harry, Theatre Manager/Actor Louis, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, (check full tags).

At fifty years old and recently divorced, Omega Harry Styles isn't interested in dating. When his doctor suggests a heat and rut matching service, he signs up out of necessity. It’s the only use he has for an Alpha in his life.

Twenty-eight-year-old Alpha Louis Tomlinson aims to change that.

💜 Until by allwaswell16

@allwaswell16 Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 38k

# Strangers to Enemies to Lovers, Famous Harry, Non-Famous Louis, Actor Harry, Songwriter Louis, Cowboy Harry, Farm Setting, Smut.

Rural Eagle County, Colorado wasn’t the type of place to find a famous musician or actor. At least not until songwriter Louis Tomlinson showed up with pop star Niall Horan to visit his uncle’s horse ranch, and they just happened to find themselves next door to a reclusive former movie star.

[one-thousand-splendid-stars]

My Favorite AUs

Save Me or Let Me Drown - by GubraithianFire, E, 72k - Sherlock Holmes was nineteen when he decided he'd had enough. Uni was dull, his family smothering, cocaine too expensive after his trust fund was cut. There was no utility in pursuing a degree in Chemistry, not when he was so good at stealing cars and could make his own money. He had no reason to stay. So he left. John Watson was nineteen when his absent mother dumped on him her last daughter. She disappeared (again) while his father drank himself numb every night (typical). With six younger siblings to take care of, uni was an impossible dream. They had no one except for him. So he stayed. Or: how Sherlock escaped from his family, John sacrificed everything to his, and how, together, they built their own.

Let Me Touch You (The First Summer) - by Shae_Fae, M, 18k - Seventeen-year-old John is spending the summer at Sherlock's country house. Sherlock can't imagine anything worse. Especially since he may be falling in love with the boy. (Literally, I loved this fic so much it inspired me to write my own fic with the same concept)

The Reawakening of John Watson - by 221_be_careful_what_you_wish_for, E, 20k - Trying to escape his troubled past in England, John Watson has started a new life in the American West. When he meets the handsome artist Sherlock Holmes, a smoldering attraction is sparked, complicating his quiet, carefully guarded existence. Maybe taking a risk with Sherlock is exactly what John needs to feel alive again...

Bluest of Blue - by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John, E, 196k - John Watson's 10th season as a Denali National Park Ranger was shaping up to look like all the years before. Until a special team from Europe was flown into the Park for a summer-long wolf-tracking research project, and the head of that research team was wearing a perfectly tailored suit.

Dehumanize Me - by deuxexmycroft, E, 26k - John is sent down for life after accidentally murdering someone, and gets snatched up to play prison wife for a strange man named Sherlock Holmes.

John Watson’s Twelve Days of Christmas - by earlgreytea68, M, 53k - Fake dating AU. It's the holiday season. John Watson needs money. Sherlock Holmes needs something else.

Kings Among Runaways - by allonsys_girl, E, 56k - Sherlock is a street kid with a big drug problem, and John's run away from an abusive home life. When they meet each other in an alley one day, it's pretty much love at first sight. But the streets are rough, and Sherlock's never easy, and so there is much angst.

First and Only - by crimsonwinter, E, 68k - Sherlock and John have been inseparable since birth, working through life as neighborhood best friends, attached at the hip. Unfortunately, reality can break up even the closest of us, and John and Sherlock struggle through all that growing up entails. But first loves are unforgettable, and the boys come to realize that their love is the first and only they'll ever have.

The Slave Who Wouldn’t Run Away - by kleiothemuse, E, 43k - John Watson, a slave with a contract to one of the many auction houses operating legally in modern-day Britain, is sold to a new master, Sherlock Holmes, who appears to want John to be more of an assistant/housekeeper than to warm his bed. As far as John is concerned, this works out nicely. However, the situation changes when Sherlock’s brother interferes, putting pressure on Sherlock to act according to his role as a slave owner, which entails demanding sexual services of his slave as well as disciplining him. Sherlock appears reluctant to obey, whereas John is strangely OK with it...But is everything quite as it seems?

*Smutty AUs 🔥*

Dr. John H. Watson, Sexual Surrogate - by smurff, E, 21k - A sexual surrogate is a therapist who engages in intimate physical contact with clients who have sexual anxiety. After several men who have visited a surrogate go missing, Sherlock goes undercover and makes an appointment to see Dr. John Watson, Sexual Surrogate.

When This is All Over, Let’s Meet in New York - by 221b_careful_what_you_wish_for, E, 21k - Freelance photographer John Watson is on assignment in a city verging on war. When he meets the mysterious Sherlock Holmes, tension crackles and the night takes a decidedly sexy turn. A gritty little love story inspired by Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

I Have Your Permission - by ianavi, E, 11 works - John and Sherlock are scientific academics who meet at a conference. After a weekend hookup, they begin an ongoing sexual relationship when John agrees to be Sherlock’s sub.

The Dancer and the Detective - by eragon19, E, 3 works - John Watson is a stripper struggling to earn his cut at the club and pay rent. Then the mysterious Sherlock Holmes wanders in and books a private dance with him - which ends up being the first of many...

Bleed So Pretty - by PoppyAlexander, E, 8 works - A collection of fight club stories

[alifeasvivid]

The Knight of Spades, or Someone I Used to Know; episode 13 of The Thief of Spades

We try again! XD

You know how sometimes you start writing a story and it’s fanfic so you think you know how the characters are, but then they still somehow manage to surprise you? Yeah. That’s why I still ship USUK/UKUS above everything.

Rating: M (chapter: T+) Warnings: angst Summary: Obligatory Backstory Chapter: Alfred Edition! Behind the cheeky grin is the bored mind of an engineer and the broken heart of an artist. Word count: ~2400

In tarot, the Knight of Swords (aka Spades) signifies a person of high intelligence and strong ambition. At best, they are focused, quick-thinking and observant. At worst, they are impulsive, reckless, or burnt-out.

Read here on AO3.

♠︎♠︎♠︎♠︎

Alfred sits at the jeweler’s bench he has set up in the living room of the flat where he currently resides. The small dining area has been converted into a makeshift polishing station. The Green Faerie emerald sits on the top shelf of the bench, just slightly above Alfred’s eye level. He rests his elbows on the bottom tray, turning the mounting of an 18k white gold ring over in his fingers, examining it in the light.

He has contemplated using the Green Faerie as the centerpiece of the ring, but he would have to cut a smaller piece from the stone and he is conflicted since it would destroy the integrity of the emerald. The fact that emeralds are so soft is the deciding factor. Any jeweler worth their salt would steer a client away from using an emerald in a ring meant to be worn every day.

His quest for just the right cushion-cut centerpiece stone continues. Diamonds are favored for their hardness, as are sapphires of any color. The right diamond would suit. Finding a sapphire with enough flash or the right hue might be difficult. There’s always moissanite, which has a high amount of fire, and Alfred has never been opposed to using lab-created stones in his own work, though he prefers genuine.

He wonders what sort of stone Inspector Kirkland might prefer.

The unset ring, on the other hand, has been with Alfred since he was eighteen. It is the only remaining piece from the collection his mentor had assigned him as part of his final test. For this reason, the ring torments him.

It has come to represent the death of the person he’d grown up thinking he’d become someday and for this reason, he would melt it down and make something new.

But it also represents the birth of the Thief of Spades and for this reason, he treasures it.

Yet no stone can fill it. The inexpensive cubic zirconium which had been set in it as a placeholder is long gone… and so is the normal life Alfred once knew. Most of the time, he wouldn’t want that life back. He would have always been bored, always somewhat out of place.

Yet other times, he realizes how painfully alone he is and it haunts him.

He can talk to Kiku about their shared interests.

He can do shots with Ivan just to see what happens.

He can outrun from Agent Hedevary and her team.

He can play games with Inspector Kirkland.

He can have any beautiful object in the world that he wants, but that’s all. He can never have love or trust or honesty with anyone. He can never see his family again and it’s all because of this ring.

Alfred clenches the small token in his hand before crying out in anguish and throwing it across the room.

He panics when he hears it land with a “tink” and scrambles to pick it up.

♠︎♠︎♠︎♠︎

Four years ago…

Eighteen year old Alfred F. Jones is an apprentice to a master jeweler. He studies metallurgy and painting at the community college and pursues his gemology certification through the GIA. He graduated high school at age sixteen, but classrooms were always boring, so for him, going to a traditional university would have been a waste of time. He hangs out with the other art students and spends as much time as he can with his mentor, fifty-five year old Ben Gordon.

The worst thing he has ever done is drive a little over the speed limit. Okay, a bit more than a little.

“Mr. Gordon?” Alfred calls out as he enters the shop. It’s unusual for either of them to be there so early, but they are preparing to show a number of Mr. Gordon’s pieces to a buyer for a high end regional jewelry store.

Alfred drops his bag next to his bench. “Mr. Gordon?” He knows they were supposed to meet and the alarm system had been disarmed. Alfred is even more anxious than his mentor. He has designed and cast seven wedding sets and if the buyer accepts all of them, Alfred will have passed his final test and can begin working as a full-fledged jeweler, rather than a mere apprentice. Mr. Gordon is a popular, well-known local jeweler and to have his name behind Alfred’s training will be a great asset.

Alfred has even dressed in nice slacks and a tie and a shirt his mother had ironed for him. “Mr. Gordon?” He ducks into the back of the shop.

“You’re late,” Mr. Gordon informs him gruffly, popping out of almost nowhere.

All the blood drains from Alfred’s face. “Wh-what? I thought she was going to be here at ten, it’s only nine-thirty!”

“It was nine. I told you it was nine,” the jeweler scolds him. “It doesn’t matter anyway. He didn’t take any of your designs.”

Alfred swallows hard against the rising lump of anger and disappointment in his throat. “Oh. Well. Okay. Can I have them back then?”

Mr. Gordon raises an eyebrow at his protege. “The materials belong to the shop, I melted them back down.”

Alfred only nods solemnly and walks over to his bench to prepare for the day.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Mr. Gordon snaps. “You’ve disgraced me in front of a major client. I can no longer have you for an apprentice and I’ll make sure that no other jeweler in the city will even look at you. You have to leave. Give me your bag.”

“Mr. Gordon! Wh-what!?” Alfred asks, holding his backpack tightly. “Please. I’m sorry, I can learn to do better. Just give me another chance!”

The jeweler holds out his hand. “Give me the bag or I’m calling the police.”

Alfred hangs his head and hands his mentor the backpack.

Mr. Gordon pulls raw materials, including gold and platinum stock, and tools that he had loaned to Alfred out of the bag and sets them aside. “Finish your gemology certification. You have a decent eye for stones and you can probably become an appraiser.” He hands Alfred back his bag. “Come on. I have to escort you out.”

For the next month, Alfred goes to school, finishes his metallurgy and painting classes, but does not see his friends much. His days are empty without long hours at the jewelry shop.

His heart is empty at the loss of his dream.

One day, he walks by the flagship store of the client Mr. Gordon said had rejected his rings, only to see six of his seven designs sparkling in the display window. One has already been sold. They are listed as special, one of kind pieces from Benjamin Gordon.

Alfred is speechless at first. Then confused. Then furious. Without even thinking, he sprints to Mr. Gordon’s shop.

“You said you melted them down! You said they didn’t want them!” He shouts, bursting into the door. A sales associate and a few customers look over at him. “What the fuck!? Why would you do this!?”

Mr. Gordon emerges from the back of the store. “Alfred. I will only give you one warning to leave this shop before I call the cops.”

Tears of anger stream down Alfred’s face. “Just tell me why. If you wanted to sell them as yours fine, but why did you steal them from me? Why couldn’t you have just let me pass my test?”

Mr. Gordon looks at the customers and then at Alfred. He comes out from behind the counter and drags his former apprentice outside. He holds tightly to Alfred’s arm and pulls the young man down to his eye level. “The buyer loved your designs,” he hisses. “She hated all of mine. She said ‘thank goodness, Ben, these are so fresh.’ She said, ‘It’s good to see you back on your game, your designs had been getting a bit stale lately.’ I certainly wasn’t going to say they were yours after that. That company is one of my biggest clients.”

“That’s it!?” Alfred roars. “You were jealous that she liked my rings better than yours!? Rather than be proud of your student, you sabotaged me forever!?” He tears away from his former mentor’s grip. “Fine. Fine. Whatever,” he says. He takes a deep breath and the boiling fury softens to a simmering rage.

“What are you going to do?” Mr. Gordon asks, now seeming somewhat nervous as Alfred is taller than he is, younger, and very well-built.

Alfred glares at him. “Nothing.” He stalks off.

Vowing then and there to definitely not do nothing, Alfred considers his options. He has no proof that he is the actual designer and jeweler of the rings and no one in Gordon’s shop will back Alfred up over their boss, that much is certain. He doesn’t have enough money to buy the rings even at cost, let alone at the marked-up retail price.

By the time he decides the only thing to do is to steal them, only three are left. Alfred could find out who the customers are, but they are wedding sets: engagement rings and matching bands, and they were meant to bring joy and symbolize promise and eternity, so he would not want to sabotage anyone’s happiness by stealing them from couples in love.

With that notion firmly fixed, he decides instead to focus on breaking into the jewelry store. The store is high end, but not so much that the security is completely over the top. One of Alfred’s secondary interests, in addition to painting, has always been technology and with a bit of googling and youtube video watching, he formulates a plan.

On the night he chooses to execute said plan, there is only one ring left, the only engagement ring created without a corresponding band. It had been his favorite from the start, but it is more simple in its elegance than the others, so he could understand why it would be the last one.

Breaking in and getting out are even easier than he’d thought they’d be. It’s almost thrilling to shut down the alarm and the cameras without alerting the security company, sneak in and take the ring.

When it’s over, he waits nervously to see if he has gotten away with it. He doesn’t go outside for nearly a week. The local news barely touches on the break in and they interview Ben Gordon and he makes it clear that he has no idea who might have done such a thing. With his former mentor apparently choosing not to throw suspicion on him, no one suspects perfectly average law-abiding citizen like Alfred.

After Alfred is certain he’s really not going to get caught, he tells only one person: his friend from his watercolor class, Lilli. She’s really sweet and very talented and she’s the only person at the community college whom he’s known since before graduating high school. He’s giddy and breathless as he recounts the tale. Her eyes go wide, but she seems more impressed than anything.

“That’s so brave of you, Alfred,” she says. “It was so awful of Gordon to do that to you and I’m glad you got it back, but what are you going to do now? He’s definitely not going to help you get another apprenticeship at this point.”

Alfred looks at the ring held in his fingers. “I—I don’t know.”

A few months later, Alfred has completed his gemology certification and he works at a local locksmith. His skills with metallurgy have him vastly overqualified for the menial demands of the position.

One night, Lilli knocks on the door. With her is a sobbing girl, about their same age. Alfred recognizes her from the campus.

“Hey, Lilli, what’s up?”

“Alfred, this is my friend Monica. A gallery offered to display and sell her work, but she asked them specifically not to sell one painting and they did. The client hasn’t taken possession yet and it’s still in the gallery, but she can’t afford to buy it back.”

Alfred looks at his friend skeptically. “Okay, that sucks, but what do you want me to do about, Lil?” he asks pointedly.

“Please, Alfred,” Monica says, catching her breath in hiccuped sobs. “That painting is inspired by my family, it’s really personal. They promised they wouldn’t sell it and then they did.”

A strange, yet now familiar thrill starting to tingle in Alfred’s fingertips at the prospect of it. The gears in his mind whir to life with unparalleled speed, already thinking of what kind of security a local art gallery might have. He’d learned a lot about things like that in his research for the store. His thoughts move seamlessly over contingencies he’s not even certain exist yet. Even the prospect of it poses a challenge. A real challenge. “You want me to get it back?”

“Y-yes,” Monica says timidly. “Lilli told me about the ring. I’m sorry. I won’t tell anyone. I can’t really pay you, so I’ll understand if you say no, but—”

Alfred smiles with a devious glint in his eyes. His heart races as it begins to comprehend the new purpose his brain has set out for it. His head conjures images of blueprints, specs, gadgets and locks. His heart wraps itself in tales of Robin Hood. “I’ll do it.”

♠︎♠︎♠︎♠︎

Alfred finds the ring and examines it at the bench, checking to make sure the landing didn’t harm it.

Four years have passed. He’s not Robin Hood. He can be, for the right price, which is often nothing. Sometimes he steals things for the merely for the chase, the degree of difficulty of the theft itself. He often returns those items.

Everyone has stolen something from someone. Many of the things he takes have already been stolen at one point or another. Someone’s blood stains every beautiful thing in the world.

His head still conjures images of plans and contingencies, of meticulous execution and perfect escape. His heart spins philosophies of anti-imperialism and a world where everyone realizes that no one truly owns anything—all wrapped around a compulsive love of beauty.

Alfred curls up in the chair, holding the ring tightly. This is who he has become; he’s a ghost now and the life his eighteen year old self had agreed to in that moment is the only thing he cannot escape from. He usually doesn’t want to try.

He would never give this ring to anyone, it’s probably cursed now, but he would like to make a different ring for someone. Someday.

Alfred glances over at the bench where the Green Faerie glitters in the lamp light.

He makes a note to find out what sort of stone Inspector Kirkland might prefer.

[faerieyoongles]

Inamorata

by: @lwannag0h0me-c0m

Plot: Werewolves are assigned a human soulmate from birth, as werewolves cannot reproduce with other werewolves. Although humans cant tell when they’ve met their werewolf soulmate (mostly because they think werewolves don’t exist), werewolves become fully aware once they are united with their true love. Most werewolves meet their soulmate around mid to late teenage years (because that’s when their bodies become sexually mature). Yoongi is 18, almost 19, and on his last year of high school and still hasn’t found his soulmate yet. He’s starting to believe maybe he doesn’t have one, until one day a new girl named Y/N enters the school.

Chapter(s): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Genera: Werewolf au, fluff, smut, (a lil bit of angst), supernatural romance

Chapter 1

{I’m so sorry for any spelling mistakes, I haven’t edited yet}

Yoongi has never been a fan of waking up early (or waking up at all really), especially if it was for school. He wasn’t a bad student or anything, he had decent grades and never fought with any of the other students or teachers, it was just exhausting for him to walk around and pretend to be interested in the events going on around him. He wasn’t the social type, or the athletic type (not anymore at least, he did play basketball his freshmen and sophomore year, but eventually quit due to a shoulder injury), or the artistic type, or the nerdy type, or any type really. Granted, he was very musical and he did enjoy listening to music and maybe writing a few songs for himself here and then, but those skills aren’t very useful in high school. To Yoongi, high school almost seemed pointless. Yoongi’s mother is a werewolf, which makes him a werewolf. Once Yoongi graduates high school, he’s supposed to help his parents by becoming a head leader of the pack. Yoongi’s mother, Bitna, was the current leader of the pack, with her husband, Ankor, by her side. Yoongi wasn't opposed to the idea of helping lead the pack, in fact, he was quite excited to help his parents lead, as he had been watching them do so since he was young. He was, however, disappointed in himself. Every werewolf has a human soulmate that they usually find once their bodies are fully mature and ready for mating, which would usually be somewhere around the ages 14-17. Werewolves can’t reproduce with other werewolves because there needs to be a balance of human and wolf DNA. If two werewolf parents gave birth to a child, the child would come out with too much wolf DNA for its body to handle, and end up dying either before it’s born, or only a few moments after. Yoongi was now 18, almost 19, and still hadn’t found his true love. It was expected of him to have a mate by the time he became a leader to provide the pack with more members. It was now the first day of his senior year, which gave Yoongi only one more year for him to find his mate. He felt like he was disappointing his parents, even though they made it very clear that they where in no way disappointed in him, and that it wasn’t his fault his mate hasn’t shown up yet. He knew there wasn’t anything he could do about him being mate-less, but still, he wanted to make his pack proud of him, and living a werewolf life without a mate while you watch other wolves be happy with theirs was very lonesome. Some of his friends from his pack that he hung out with had already found their mate, like Jin, Hoseok, and Namjoon. That left him, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook to be the four mate-less ones in their friend group. Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook where all younger than Yoongi (Jimin and Taehyung being 16 and Jungkook being 15) so it wasn't abnormal for them to have not found their mates yet. Yoongi was almost starting to believe that maybe there wasn’t someone out there for him. Thoughts like these caused him to fall into this ongoing state of depression and lack of motivation, so now a days he tended to get annoyed and short tempered easily when one of his friends starting talking about their mates or when someone mentioned him having not found his yet.

It was now Yoongi’s first day of his senior year. He put on his clothes, which was just a pair of dark blue jeans, a black hoodie with a white graphic tee underneath, and his usual red basketball sneakers. Although he didn’t play basketball anymore, he still was found of the sport and owned some basketball jerseys and sneakers in his closet. He never worried much about his appearance, it’s not like he had anyone to impress. He brushed his hair and teeth quickly and headed outside to meet his friends who lived in the same area. Since him and his friends are all from the same pack, they all lived in the same neighborhood. The next few streets next to Yoongi’s street where all people from his pack. Closing the door to his house, he was suddenly greeted by his six friends all staring directly at him. Yoongi stopped in his tracks, he didn't expect them to all be waiting for him at once.

“What took you so long? We’ve been waiting for you for like 15 minutes?” asked Hoseok. He was clearly more annoyed than the other members. Hoseok was the only member in the friend group to have a soulmate that went to their high school. Jin and Namjoon’s mates where girls who lived on the other side of town and went to the other high school. Hoseok was no doubt in a rush to get to school to see Dawn, his mate, who he hadn’t seen all summer because she was living in Seoul, spending the summer with her father.

“Sorry” said Yoongi “I woke up late. I forgot to set my alarm.” He turned around to face his front door to lock it. His parents had already gone out, so it was his responsibility to lock the house.

“Are you not excited?’ asked Jimin. Jimin could tell Yoongi wasn’t in the best mood at the moment, so he felt it was his responsibility to help him feel better.

 “No” replied Yoongi “Why would I be? High School isn’t necessarily my ideal place to spend my time.” Yoongi started to walk down his front steps and down the side walk, his friends quickly followed him. He put his keys back in his pocket and took out his phone and headphones to listen to music. He knew Jimin was only engaging in conversation with him to cheer him up. Deep down, Yoongi appreciated it, but at the moment he was too tired to hear his friend’s sad attempts at making him feel better.

“Because it the first day of school!’ Jimin said trying to sound enthusiastic, but he wasn’t a very good actor.

“Again. Why is that exciting?” Yoongi asked, not really giving his full attention, the music in his ears seemed more interesting to listen to. Jimin really didn't know how to answer that, he as well didn’t find school anymore exciting than Yoongi did.

“Because” Started Hoseok “Exciting things could happen this year.”

Yoongi scuffed “Really?” he said sarcastically “like what?”

“Like maybe if you walked a little faster, we’d get to school faster, and maybe today you’ll find your mate! Now can we please get to the bus stop?” Yoongi clenched his jaw at the mention of his un-found mate. Hoseok got a forceful punch on his shoulder from Namjoon. Hoseok knew better then mention Yoongi still hadn’t found his mate, but he was desperate to get to school to see his.

After about a five minute walk, they all reached the bus stop. All six guys where now having a new conversation that Yoongi couldn’t be bothered to listen to. He loved his friends, but he enjoying being in their company silently when he was in a bad mood, than making an exhausting effort to take part in a conversation that he just wasn’t in the mood to be in. Thanks to Hoseok’s careless comment about his mate, Yoongi’s mood was now even worse than when he first woke up. 

It didn’t take long for the bus to arrive. Yoongi was the last of his friends to get on. When he got on, he saw all his friends had taken a seat except for Jungkook who was still standing up waiting for Yoongi to sit on the inside of the bench so he could sit on the outside. Jungkook knew Yoongi preferred the window seat so he could rest his head on the glass. This was Jungkook’s way of helping Yoongi feel better, and so far, it was the only effective one. 

“Hyung” said Jungkook in a very quiet unsure voice. He didn’t want to upset Yoongi more than he already was. Lucky for Jungkook, Yoongi had a soft side for him, with him being the youngest member of the group and all. Yoongi decided he didn’t want to take his anger out on the Maknae, so he took out one of his ear phones to give Jungkook his full attention. “It’s gonna be this year, I know it! Look, I know this might not be what you’re in the mood to hear right now, but trust me, when our mates come I’m sure all the waiting would have been worth it. That’s what Namjoon hyung told me, and he’s never lied to me before.” Although Yoongi wasn’t fond of hearing yet another person this morning mention the absence of his mate, he knew Jungkook meant well. Yoongi gave Jungkook a simple nod and a short smile before he returned the earphone back to his ear. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t hopeful that this was finally the year he’d find love. ‘It has to be! I can’t wait forever!’ he thought to himself.

The bus finally came to a stop in front of the school, and Hoseok was the first to run off with Jin running after him close behind trying to contain Hoseok’s excited and rushed energy. Yoongi took his time walking off the bus and into the school. The school had already sent the students their class schedules and locker numbers during the summer, so Yoongi’s friend group had all dispatched at this point to get to their classes. Yoongi never bothered with his locker, they allowed backpacks inside the classrooms so he never saw a need for them anyways. He went straight to his first class which was English. Unfortunately for him, Namjoon wasn’t in this class with him like he was last year, so Yoongi would actually have to do his own work instead of copying off of Namjoon. He entered the classroom and sat in a seat in the back next to a window. He preferred to sit by himself than to try and make awkward conversation with someone. His conversation skills weren’t very good, and besides, he had all the friends he needed from his pack. He rested his head on his hand while he looked out the window and watched the trees wrestle with the wind. He saw a stray cat climb up on one and lay down to take a nap. ‘It must be nice to be a cat. You just get to sleep all day.’ He thought. He then chuckled at the fact that technically, he was a dog, who was wishing to be a cat. Ironic. The classroom was loud and fulled with life as students where telling their friends what the did over summer break, gossiping over new students and what not. Finally the teacher walked in with a coffee mug full of freshly brewed coffee in his hand.

“Okay everyone” he said “Please take your seat and settle down.” The students obeyed, and took their seats. Since it was only the first day of school, students haven’t yet become as rebellious as they will later on in the year, so quieting down the class wasn’t too hard of a task for the teacher. He set his coffee mug down on his desk and walked toward the center of the front of the room.

“Hello everyone! My name is Mr. Ling.” the teacher said in perfect English. He then repeated the phrase in Korean for his students to understand. Yoongi was decently good at English, and learned a few things not only from school, but also from Namjoon, so Yoongi understood what the teacher had said before he translated it. Yoongi silently praised himself for his well understanding of the English language.

“Before you guys introduce yourselves to me, we have a new student this year. Please take care of her and make her feel welcomed to our school. Okay?” The students nodded in response. Mr. Ling walked over to the door and opened it. A girl then walked through. Her posture gave away that she felt very shy and awkward. Immediately she caught Yoongi’s eye, but he wasn’t the only person in the room to take an interest in her. Other guys suddenly started smiling and taking their attention to focus more on what this new girl had to say.

“Um hello. My name’s Y/N. Please take care of me.” The girl said it so quietly you almost didn’t hear her. Luckily at this point, Yoongi had paused his music to hear you speak. The new girl then bowed to the class and looked at the teacher for her next direction.

“It’s lovely to have you here Y/N. There’s an empty seat in the back beside Yoongi, you can sit there if you’d like.” said Mr. Ling. Yoongi was taken back by the spot light suddenly put on him, but he collected his scattered thoughts and waved at you so you’d know who he was. He gave you a short but genuine smile, and you returned the favor as you walked to sit next to him. At this moment, Yoongi thanked whatever god there was that none of his classmates ever wanted to sit next to him. You put your bag down by your new desk and sat down. At first, coming to a new school was diffidently something you where in no way excited about. Making new friends was never something you where good at, and whats the point of making new friends senior year when you’re only going to graduate in a few months anyways. The boy sitting next to you though was now making you rethink that thought. He looked inviting and you got this calm, safe, and warm vibe from him.

“Okay so, now what I’d like to do is go around the room and introduce yourselves to me, Y/N, and any other classmates that might not know who you are. Lets start with you!” said the teacher as he pointed to a student sitting at  the far right of the front row. One by one students sat up and said their name, grade, and one interesting thing about them. Trying to come up with something interesting seemed like a hard task for the students, so this process seemed very slow and excruciatingly painful to watch. After 20 minutes, Yoongi was starting to get a headache from all the “ummms” and “yeahs” coming from student’s mouths every three seconds, so he unpaused his music. When he turned his phone on to click the play button, you caught a glimpse of the song he was listening to. He was listening to “Kind Heart” by Glowing Eyes, and immediately you decided you had to be friends with this boy. Glowing Eyes was your favorite band and you just couldn’t stop your excitement from taking over. If the boy sitting next to you didn’t make you feel so comfortable just by giving you a smile, then you would have never said anything, but you just couldn’t stop yourself (nor did you really want to). You tapped him on the shoulder and Yoongi flinched dramaticly. It took you back a bit because you where sure you like barley touched him. What you didn’t know is that when you touched him, even in the slightest, it sent electric waves of shock through Yoongi’s body, but it felt good and warm. He almost wanted to you tap him again. You gave him a kind of perplexed look. Did you really tap him that hard, or was he just really sensitive?

“Um, yeah?” Asked Yoongi, still in a state of shock.

“Uh” you said quietly, so the teacher wouldn’t hear you having a conversation while another student was introducing themselves. Yoongi realized your soft voice and took out one of his ear phones.

“Your song. Your listening to Glowing Eyes.” You said, feeling slightly less confident then when your first tapped him.

“Yeah” said Yoongi “You like them?”

“They’re my favorite band.” You said with a smile, now slightly regaining confidence now that Yoongi was now understanding where this conversation was going.

“Really?” He said, your smile now rubbing off on him.

“Let me ask you this then.” He now felt more interested in talking to you (as if he wasn’t already before) now that he found out you two have something in common.

“Which album is better? ‘Worth the Wait’ or ‘Destiny’s Course’ ?” You’re almost taken back by the fact that he’s now speaking to you like he’s known you forever, but you really liked the fact that you could just skip over the ‘awkward conversation’ phase of friendship, so you played along with his vibe.

“Oh ‘Destiny’s Course’ by far!” You said with up most certainty.

Yoongi crinkled his nose “Hmm, i dunno. ‘Worth the Wait’ had more of a raw and real sound.”

“Yeah but in that album they replaced James with Leon as the main vocalist, and James is a far better singer.” Although you where disagreeing with Yoongi, you still thought that this conversation was the best one you’ve had all day. Yoongi was unknowingly agreeing with you.

“Well yeah but, the songs are just so much more..” he pause for a minute trying to come up with the right word to use.

“Raw and real?” You say, mocking his words from earlier. You slightly roll your eyes, wanting to make fun of your new friend, but not wanting to push it because you two had only just met.

“Well yeah” Yoongi laughs. You start laughing too but it’s quickly cut short when you hear the teacher call your name.

“Y/N!” he says “I know you just introduced yourself, but why don’t you do it again and tell us something interesting about you, that way we can get to know you even more!” He was clearly aware you and Yoongi weren’t paying attention, but since it was the first day of school and you where a new student, he decided he wouldn’t scold you and instead be grateful you had already made a new friend.

“Oh, um okay.” You said. You then stood up to face the class for a second time and said “My name is Y/N, Im a senior, and..” You where trying to think of something interesting to say when an idea popped into your head. “and I think- no, I know that’Destiny’s Course’ is Glowing Eyes’s best album.” You hoped your new friend found your teasing funny. The teacher looked confused by your statement but decided to brushed it off and move onto Yoongi. He looked at Yoongi’s direction, waiting for him to speak. As you sat down, Yoongi sat up.

“Uh, my name is Yoongi, in a senior, and I know for a absolute 100% fact that ‘Worth the Wait’ is without a doubt Glowing Eye’s best album.” He said with a playful smirk. You sighed in relief that Yoongi was playing back with you. He looked down at you and gave you a smile. The teacher smiled as well, feeling proud he created a friendship by having you sit next to Yoongi. The bell then rang signaling for the next period to begin. Luckily Yoongi was the last student to introduce himself, so every student had gotten the chance to take their turn. You turned and grabbed your backpack on the floor beside you and started to walk towards the door. You stopped when you felt someones hand pull you back by your upper arm. When you turned around, you saw it was Yoongi. Yoongi wanted to talk with you more, which is why he decided to pull you back. When he held on to you, his hand got warm shocks of energy that was now circling in his hand and up his arm. He stared at his hand holding your arm for a few seconds wondering what the heck was going on. He snapped back into reality when he noticed you where looking at him for an explanation to why you where being held back.

“Um, I- I think you’re pretty cool, I guess.” He then let go of your arm, realizing he was still holding on to you “I wanted to know if uh- if maybe you wanted to go to this music store that’s like a 10 minute walk from school? I mean I know we just met but I’ve always wanted to go there but ah, my friends never do and it’d be nice to go there with someone instead of by myself. Ya know?” He nervously chuckled. With every word he said, he lost more and more confidence, fear and awkwardness now finally sinking into him. You on the other hand where beyond glad that you had easily made a friend you had something in common with.

“Yeah sure!” you said with an obvious grin on your face. Your energy rubbed off on Yoongi and he felt relaxed again.

“Great! Um, if you gave me your number I could tell you where to meet me after school.” He said, finally relaxed that you seemed to like him as much as he liked you (or at least he hoped). It felt weird to him though, asking a girl for her number. That was something he had never done before.

“Sure.” you said. He unlocked his phone and handed it to you, and your put your number into his contact list. You then handed the phone back to him. While doing so, your finger came into contact with his, and yet again, Yoongi felt those same waves of shock. He couldn’t understand what it was at first, but after you had first tapped him on the shoulder, he’s had sometime to think about it, and he’s 90% sure that maybe he knows. He wants to feel them again though one more time before you walk away. So he does the only thing he can think of in the moment. He extends his hand out for you to take.

“Friends?” He asks. You take is hand with out question.

“Friends.” You state. Yoongi looks at your hand touching his and inhales sharply, really loving the feeling of your skin coming to contact with his. You then let go of his hand, whispered a ‘bye’ and flashed him a small but genuine smirk as you walk out the door. You didn’t really want to leave him, but you also didn’t want to be late to your next class either.

As Yoongi watched you walk away, he knew his mood had been completely changed from what it was this morning.

He knew for sure, that he finally found his mate.

[jjba-headcanon-reblogs]

tag list

this list will be edited and added on too as this blog grows

post types

headcanon - post written in headcanon form

mini fic - imagines, scenarios, and fanfiction between 0-500 words

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 possible triggers

sensitive subject - headcanons or fics that is about depression, suicide, death, ect

suicide tw - suicide or suicidal thoughts is mentioned in this post

death mention - death is mentioned in this post

rape tw - rape is mentioned in this post

alcohol - there is drinking and/or drunk themes to this post

abuse tw - there is abusive actions, implied abuse or abuse is spoken about in this post

dubcon - there is sexual actions that are not explicitly consensual or non consensual in this post

stalking - someone is stalking or being stalked in this post

minor - a character is under the age of 18 in canon in this post

minor n/s/f/w - a character who is under the age of 18 in canon is involved in sexual acts in this post, possibly only implied or slightly

aged up - a character who is under the age of 18 in canon is written to be 18 or older. This may or may not include the age the character is supposed to be in the post

s/o and reader

s/o tags are in both headcanon and fic posts while reader is only in fic posts

no s/o - there is no significant other or person besides the canon character(s)

fem s/o - the significant other or person besides the canon character(s) uses she/her pronouns and/or is afab (assigned female at birth)

male s/o - the significant other or person besides the canon character(s) uses he/him pronouns and/or is amab (assigned male at birth)

gn s/o - the significant other or person besides the canon character(s) uses they/them pronouns and/or has no bodily description as afab or amab

nb s/o - the significant other or person besides the canon character(s) is specifically described as being non-binary

named s/o - the significant other or person besides the canon character(s) is given a name

oc s/o - the significant other or person besides the canon character(s) is an original character of a fan

no reader - there is no significant other or person besides the canon character(s)

fem reader - the significant other or person besides the canon character(s) uses she/her pronouns and/or is afab (assigned female at birth)

male reader - the significant other or person besides the canon character(s) uses he/him pronouns and/or is amab (assigned male at birth)

gn reader - the significant other or person besides the canon character(s) uses they/them pronouns and/or has no bodily description as afab or amab

nb reader - the significant other or person besides the canon character(s) is specifically described as being non-binary

named reader - the significant other or person besides the canon character(s) is given a name

oc reader - the significant other or person besides the canon character(s) is an original character of a fan

sfw and nsfw

sfw - safe for work/no sexual themes

n/s/f/w - not safe for work/sexual themes

and sfw - the post has sexual and non sexual themes, usually separated

implied n/s/f/w - there is no explicit sexual themes but there are implied sexual actions

slight nsfw - the post has some heated scenes but nothing extremely descriptive but more than just implied

but overall - there is a hint of sexual themes but is mostly safe for work

nsfw and kinks

first time - this a post about characters losing their virginity or having sex with someone for the first time

lactation - sexual acts surrounding a partner lactating

hand kink - sexual acts surrounding the use of hands

daddy kink - doing sexual acts while calling the partner “daddy”

knife play - sexual acts while using a knife, usually paired with blood play

blood play - sexual acts with blood

pet play - sexual actions where someone pretends to be a “pet” and the other the “master”

cow play - similar to pet play but with the “pet” dressed in cow inspired clothing and usually including lactation

stand play - sexual actions with a stand

mommy kink - doing sexual acts while calling a partner “mommy”. May or may not include age regression play

age regression play - sexual acts while a partner pretends to be younger then they really are, usually a child

bondage - a person is tied up during sexual acts

piss kink/omo/omorashi - sexual actions revolving around urinating oneself, arousal brought on by having a full bladder, by causing someone to develop a full bladder, or by witnessing someone with a full bladder “relieve” themselves

face fucking - when an amab uses an other’s mouth to get off by either moving their hips or the other’s head

temperature play - using warm and/or cold objects to stimulate a partner’s skin during sexual acts, usually foreplay

breeding kink - being sexually aroused by the idea of having sex without a condom or being impregnated

degradation - being aroused by treating or being treated with contempt or disrespect

voyeurism - being aroused from watching others or being watched during sexual acts

voice kink - being aroused by one’s voice

edging - holding off one’s orgasm, usually by stopping stimulation when one is close to cumming

praise kink - being aroused by being or telling your partner praises

miscellaneous

angst - this headcaon or fic is written to be sad or depressing

slight angst - this headcanon or fic is written to be slightly sad or depressing but not overwhelming so

au - this headcaon or fic takes place in an alternate universe

crossover - this post is about two or more fandoms being in the same universe and interacting with each other

dad headcaon - this post is about at least one character as a fathers

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poly - three or more people in a romantic relationship, usually including a s/o or reader

canon x canon - this post is about two canon characters in a relationship, usually followed by (character name) x (character name) and/or ship name

canon x irl - this post is about a canon character and person from the real world in a relationship

canon x oc - this post is about a canon character and an original character of a fan in a relationship