#asoue season three spoilers

[camelely]

Like I said before I really did enjoy watching ASOUE  but there were two things that bothered me.

1) Erasing the moral ambiguity of VFD and the Baudelaire Parents- Everyone who was a member of VFD sucked. Whether they were on the ‘good’ side or the ‘bad’ they all did bad things. The hook handed man started to say this in the grim grotto and I thought they would get into it, but instead they went the other direction and even made the murder of Olaf’s dad as accident. His whole thing was hating his parents killers and the show made his death an accident... the dart was clearly aimed at Esme and she started the fight and threw the first dart so Beatrice just defended herself... it was dumb.

2) Young Beatrice and Lemony- yea I know it was a tie in to the Beatrice letters but I really thought it was out of place and only served to further the good people are good and deserve happy ending BS the books made evident was not the case. I meant they are a series of unfortunate events, the parents did things and the children paid the price. While the hope given to us in the Beatrice letters was a good book addition the fact that it wasnt a part of the end made it better and shoving it into the adaptation was jarring. If they wanted to add it I think an epilogue that was its own episode after the end would have been ideal. Kinda like how the Beatrice letters were there own thing after the fact.  Especially since episode was already so short. It was the last book and the adaptation cut out so much of their time on the island. 

They could have also made it a passing comment. Cut out the little girl actress and just have the scene with Lemony receiving the letter and saying it was from a relative. That could have been a cool nod to the book readers. Kinda like how the confirmed Jacquline was one of the associates from the unauthorized biography with a short line.  (I think the duchess of Winnipeg or R or both but its been a while since I read the side books and that could be very wrong)  

[verified-fanmade-deductions]

The Penultimate Peril (Part 1)

- KITTTTTTTT KITKITKITKIT!!!!!!!!!

- I’m sad we didn’t get the picnic outside of the hotel, but I understand why that was cut.

- I’m REALLY disappointed that we didn’t get the scene where Kit was crying and the Baudelaires comforted her. It was raw and emotional and showed that Kit had feelings.

- The hotel is so pretty dang

- And I love how they set up the hotel!!!

- No sunglasses???? Everyone can recognize them then???? But I get it, we wanna see their eyes, I do too, so I’m not complaining.

- I love Frank, Ernest, and Dewey so much I love how they did that shsgsffg

- The concierge outfits are green instead of orange. Huh.

- YOUNGER LEMONY!!!!!!!

- Lemony’s the cab driver??????? That’s frickin awesome, I love how they showed that!

- Lemony critiquing his past self, like same hat.

- I LOVE LOVE LOVE how they handled the scenes with the Baudelaires going to the different rooms, with the clocks ticking backwards and such aaaaaaaaa

- And I love how they did the “WRONG”s!!

- IS LARRY DEAD????????

- I love how they made you believe Kit was in a relationship with Ernest hehehehehe

- Nero on the roof? Jerome and Strauss and Poe already there?? No Remora or Bass or Hal??? BABS????

- OK OK OKKOKOOKOKOKK this is NOT a drill: JEROME AND CHARLES ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP IT’S FRICKIN CANON I CANNOTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

- My heart is soaring I have never been happier I literally started crying I literally can’t explain how happy this makes me!!!!!!

- Ok ok, let me explain why I love it so much: 1) It’s cute af I ship it hardcore 2) HEALTHY LGBT RELATIONSHIP IN MEDIA 3) The show recognized that Sir and Charles’s relationship was abusive and HAD CHARLES AND JEROME MEET IN COUNSELLING IF THAT AIN’T THE CUTEST THING 4) They’re both adorable pushovers they’re perfect for each other 5) I’m love them enough said

- And unless I didn’t understand properly, Babs and Bass are in a relationship??? I’m feeling some STRONG mlm and wlw solidarity in this chili’s tonight.

- They changed Esmé’s outfit, and I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed (you know which outfit I’m talking about)

- JUSTICE STRAUSS!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA I’M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!

- “Is Countie not my daddy anymore?” “He’s not mine anymore either” removed 20 years from my life.

- I am so frickin happy that they kept the scene with the Baudelaires stopping Olaf so emotional. It had the right tone, I’m so happy!

- DEWEY’S DEATH STILL MADE ME CRY AND I STILL HATE MR. POE WITH A BURNING PASSION

- And how the last thing he said was “Kit”??? My heart is literally gone, it’s fine, I didn’t need one anyways.

AND THAT WAS JUST THE FIRST EPISODE!!!! I have so much to say that I’m making a second post, I’ll post it when I’ve finished watching the second one!! So far, I am LOVING IT SO MUCH!!!!!! Keep up the good work, Netflix!! You better...

[professorvonspooky]

UNPOPULAR OPINION

Netflix asoue’s portrayal of VFD is just fine, in terms of accuracy to the books. The books superficially make it seem like a good thing too, because the narrator is literally a member. In order to notice the sketchy shit, you have to either read the supplementary books--TUA gives us a lot of VFD dirt, since it’s one of the few cannon materials not filtered by snicket himself--or read between the lines and pay attention to the actual implied motives of the adult characters. It’s more noticeable in the series because we’re introduced to VFD earlier on, but there’s virtually no way to adapt the last four books without showing the kids getting betrayed and abandoned by an organization that treats them as collateral damage. If they were going to continue portraying Vfd as totally Good Cool and Competent, they’d have to end the series differently. A central theme of the series is that it’s not always clear what the right thing to do is, and slapping us in the face with VFD IS SUPER BAD U GUYS from episode one would completely undermine that. 

[maevedmab]

Ending the ASOUE binge with a drawing of the BEST line in the whole series. 

[onceuponamillianshipper]

"It's important to be well rested before committing arson."

- Count Olaf, giving us all practical advice

[daisy-bugs]

ThAt MoMeNt YoU kNoW yOuR kId Is GoNnA bE aN oRpHaN

[asoue-sideblog]

I think a lot of people didn’t notice this, so, PSA: look who’s behind her

[hermitknut]

spoilers for season three of A Series of Unfortunate Events (specifically, the ending):

...

...

...

THE GODDAMNED COWARDS CHICKENED OUT OF THE GODDAMNED ENDING

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[sidenote: there were many many things I loved. I have notes. I will share those soon. but I just needed to yell.]

[mayathepsycho]

A Series of Unfortunate Events Season 3. The Penultimate Peril

Después de tres días del estreno de la tercera temporada de Una Serie de Eventos Desafortunados, he podido meditar más sobre mis impresiones de los episodios correspondientes a The Penultimate Peril y The End.  The Penultimate Peril es la joya de la saga y sus dos episodios probaron estar a la altura; sin duda su adaptación es la mejor, a pesar de la controversia en torno a las decisiones tomadas para la revelación culminante de la historia: la noche en la ópera y el episodio de los dardos venenosos. A pesar de esos cambios, considero que el trabajo de adaptación fue grandioso y aun me encuentro a mi misma sintiendo las lágrimas volver al recordar los momentos finales que guardan la desesperanza original del medio escrito y que por medio de las imágenes logran llevar esa tristeza a niveles insospechados.

El primer episodio de The Penutlimate Peril inicia con un hermoso plano del Hotel Denouement, la obertura de La Forza del Destino y una explicación de Lemony. Las cosas no son siempre lo que parecen, así como un estanque podría ocultar secretos en él. El mundo es como un estanque y la más mínima de nuestras acciones, como aventar una piedra, genera ondas que pueden sacudir el mundo. Este comienzo resume perfectamente el tema del episodio y le da la teatralidad a la historia que estuve esperando desde The Vile Village. A los escritores no se les olvidó que The Penultimate Peril es el momento de fatalidad culminante para los Baudelaire, que en verdad no existen los finales felices, y que las personas nobles son las que cometen las peores atrocidades. Y desde este inicio con la música de fondo se intenta marcar una analogía entre el tema de La Forza del Destino, el suceso de los dardos venenosos y el asesinato de Dewey Denouement.  

El episodio no espera para dejarnos sin aliento. De inmediato ocurre un cambio en la narración que comprueba una de las teorías más establecidas a lo largo de los años: Lemony Snicket aparece en la línea temporal de los Baudelaire, como un personaje más, y ya desde este momento me encontré celebrando. ¡Sí, Lemony es J.S! (WRONG) ¡Sí, Lemony es el conductor del taxi! (right) ¡Y él ahora tiene el azucarero (WRONG). De inmediato, tenemos la famosa escena de Kit Snicket llevando a los Baudelaire a su perdición el Hotel Denouement en el taxi. Todo se va, nuevamente en segundos y es doloroso porque las contadas páginas de los libros donde Kit Snicket aparece las he guardado como el más grande tesoro durante años. Los momentos de oro en el picnic donde Kit le pone el listón a Violet por ella y donde finalmente colapsa por el miedo de que todo saldrá mal, se pierden (aunque igual ya la habíamos visto llorar en medio del bosque en The Slippery Slope).  En compensación, nos ofrecieron dos regalos que ni en mis sueños más locos imaginé. Un encuentro y despedida  entre Kit y Dewey Denouement y la confirmación de que éste es el padre de su hija. Casi pude escuchar los corazones de las Kitlaf shippers romperse en ese momento; las entiendo, hermanas, pero Olaf siendo el padre es algo muy de fanfic y también es lindo saber que Kit superó a ese hombre y que conoció la felicidad con alguien más. Como si no fuera suficiente ver el encuentro, encima hicieron a Dewey recitar una de las más memorables frases de las cartas de Lemony a Beatrice y tuvimos un beso. Sentí que moría.

La segunda escena con la cual terminé de colapsar fue el encuentro de Lemony y Kit.  La cara de Kit cuando ve a su hermano me destruyó y me llenó de preguntas. ¿Cuantas veces ha fingido Lemony su muerte? ¿Lo hizo para escapar y para hacer que Beatrice pudiera olvidarlo y vivir su vida con alguien más? Sin embargo, la reunión también nos plantea la respuesta al por qué de toda la serie. Kit revela a Lemony que los niños que ella dejó en el Hotel Denouement son los Baudelaire y es cuando él toma su decisión de ir tras ellos y protegerlos. @snicketsleuth ha defendido que la razón principal por la que Lemony estaba detrás de los niños era porque él también creía la pista del superviviente del incendio y esperaba que fuera Beatrice. Sin embargo me parece que esto es un poco ver a Lemony bajo el halo de Severus Snape, así que la explicación que nos dieron en este episodio me dejó completamente satisfecha. 

Hablemos ahora del desarrollo de la misión de los Baudelaire y del reencuentro con los personajes pasados de la saga. El reloj fue simplemente brillante y escuchar el WRONG del péndulo realmente causó esa sensación de pesimismo que se esperaba. También pude notar ese guiño a Bandersnatch cuando Lemony nos dice que estamos obligados a ver los tres caminos alternativos de los Baudelaire. Frank, Ernest y Dewey estuvieron maravillosos y el desfile de personajes de los libros pasados tiene sus altas y sus bajas. Se nota que no todos los actores pudieron regresar (en Harry Potter esto no hubiera pasado).  Esperaba más que nada volver a ver a Sir y a Charles en la sauna y en su lugar tuvimos a Jerome Squalor y Babs. ¿Notaron el comentario de Jerome sobre haber encontrado el amor con el dueño de un aserradero? De igual manera Jacquelyn brilló por su ausencia; desde la temporada uno creí que todo el propósito del personaje era resolver que ella era J.S y la persona que convocó a la reunión en el Hotel. Sin embargo, la aparición de Justice Strauss es la más conmovedora de todas; nos remonta al episodio inicial y nos hace amar de nuevo a esta mujer que en verdad nunca se rindió por ayudar a los niños y que parece ser su última esperanza. Finalmente, sigo sin superar la horrible muerte de Larry hervido en curry. Creo que su muerte sirvió para hacernos recordar el horror y sinsentido de la serie y para crear la atmósfera de que los Baudelaire están solos. 

Creo que esa es la virtud más grandiosa de los episodios de The Penultimate Peril y The End. En ellos podemos ver ese tono obscuro y terrible que siempre estuvo presente pero que culmina en el suceso que marca el destino de los niños para siempre, el accidente del arpón. La escena cobra un tono sentimental desde el momento de la ruptura de Esmé y Olaf, donde es Olaf quien termina a Esmé y no al revés, como en el libro. Los fans de la reina Esmé realmente querían ver la respuesta “You can’t fire me, I quit”,  pero creo que la decisión de mostrarnos a una Esmé a punto de llorar fue acertada. Nos revela que ella en verdad quería a Olaf y nos confirma también lo cruel que puede ser Olaf incluso con los más cercanos. Después de la ruptura, la fuerza del destino finalmente alcanza a los niños, con una terrible explicación de Lemony acerca de lo que esta palabra significa, la secuencia donde ellos intentan detener a Olaf y finalmente, el accidente con Dewey. La escena de Dewey cayendo al estanque, la biblioteca al fondo y el susurro “Kit” tienen la teatralidad de ópera merecida. El ver en pantalla el horror fue algo para lo que nada me había preparado y fue la primera vez que en verdad perdí el control. Creo que en papel, las palabras indican lo terrible de los sucesos , pero en la imagen estos cobran un sentido de realidad que nos recuerda que los Baudelaire son NIÑOS siendo torturados por ese mundo de adultos donde la crueldad no tiene límite y que ese es nuestro propio mundo, no un escenario de un melodrama exagerado. No sé si fue la música, la expectativa, lo bien conducida que esta la escena, o si fue mi yo de 15 años pensando “Los Baudelaire acaban de matar al padre del hijo de Kit” lo que terminó conmigo pero debo concluir que este es una de los mejores momentos de la temporada. Hacia el final, ocurre el tan esperado encuentro entre el taxista y los niños, que no es otro que el mismísimo Lemony. Lo único que me dejó deseando de ese momento es que, al parecer, Lemony no recupera el azucarero, como sí se sugiere en el libro. Pero se puede apreciar la encrucijada del destino, tanto de Lemony como de los chicos. Él pudo haberlos salvado, de haberlos convencido de subir al taxi. Ellos pudieron haber conseguido un último aliado, de no haber creído que aun tenían una oportunidad con la justicia. Pero en la historia no hay finales felices y, como lo dice el propio Lemony, esa fue la decisión de la cual se arrepentirá él para siempre. Glorioso episodio, pasemos al siguiente, y a la polémica respuesta de la escena de los dardos envenenados. 

The Penultimate Peril es la aventura más intrincada y terrible de la historia, pero también es el libro donde ocurre la revelación clave y la inversión definitiva de todo lo que creíamos acerca del bien y el mal. Al inicio del libro, Kit Snicket afirma que, en una presentación de La Forza del Destino, ella entregó una caja de dardos envenenados a los padres Baudelare, antes de que Esmé Squalor pudiera detenerla. Posteriormente, en el confrontamiento con Dewey, Olaf revela que los dardos envenenados fueron el arma que lo hizo huérfano, en una noche de ópera. Estas revelaciones del calibre de una bomba implican que los padres de los Baudelaire son los culpables de la muerte de los padres de Olaf y que ésta es la razón por la cual el villano odia tanto a los niños (y una buena razón para pensar que él mismo los dejó huérfanos). Durante años, los fans se han dedicado a hacer teorías acerca del suceso. ¿El asesinato fue premeditado? ¿Qué razones tenían Beatrice y Bertrand para matar a los padres de Olaf? ¿Kit Snicket estaba involucrada y eso la convierte en la peor traidora de la historia? Como es costumbre, Lemony nunca ofrece las respuestas claras a esas cuestiones, y hace mucho que el fandom decidió la opción más oscura. Sí, el asesinato fue premeditado, Kit, Beatrice y todos los involucrados lo sabían. El análisis de @snicketsleuth es un buen ejemplo de estas teorías.

Ahora bien, la reconstrucción del suceso en la adapación de Netflix tomó distancia de esta respuesta y nos mostró que la muerte de los padres de Olaf se debió a un accidente, a un disparo que cayó en la persona incorrecta. Con lo mucho que me gusta el análisis de @snicketsleuth y en general, el descubrir en las historias de ficción que los héroes siempre están podridos por dentro, nunca pude dejar de preguntarme si no existía la posibilidad de que todo fuera un accidente, al igual que la muerte de Dewey Denouement ¿No es eso lo que intenta decirnos Lemony a lo largo de todo el libro, al hacer la analogía entre el accidente de los Baudelaire y las continuas menciones a La Forza del Destino, en donde un arma se dispara por error, causando una tragedia? Creo que las pistas del libro sirven para articular ambas posibilidades, tanto la del asesinato premeditado, como la del accidente y, aunque la mayoría de los blogs me odie, creo que los escritores tenían justificación en haber optado por la vía del accidente. Por otra parte, no lo hicieron solamente por el miedo de mostrar a una Beatrice asesina, como asegura la mayoría. El episodio de los dardos envenenados sirve para responder a al menos cuatro gigantescas interrogantes de la serie  ¿Por qué fue robado el azucarero a Esmé y cómo? ¿Por qué Lemony es un prófugo de la justicia? ¿Por qué Olaf intenta matar a Beatrice en el baile de máscaras? ¿Y por qué Lemony y Beatrice tuvieron que separarse? El flashback también apunta a la solución del misterio del contenido del azucarero, pero de eso hablaré en el análisis correspondiente a The End  

El episodio nos muestra a Kit y Lemony Snicket, Olaf, Beatrice y Esmé Squalor, en sus días de juventud. Muchos fans siempre imaginaron que el evento sucedió cuando estos eran adolescentes, pero no me imagino a otros actores en el lugar de los personajes y como si no fuera suficientemente horrible quedar huérfano por un dardo envenenado a cualquier edad. Creo que el episodio acierta al mostrar la amistad de todos los personajes, el amor que siente Kit por Olaf, a pesar de ser un spoiler bastante inesperado,  el hecho de presentar al padre de Olaf como el jefe del departamento oficial de incendios, y la obsesión absurda de Esmé por el azucarero. Beatrice y Lemony deciden, por el bien mayor, traicionar la confianza de su amiga y robarlo. Y esto desencadena la locura de Esmé, quien corre tras ellos y lanza el primer dardo. En un enfrentamiento caótico, donde Kit y Olaf suplican a sus amigos arreglar todo por medio de las palabras, un dardo cae en el padre de Olaf y no es claro quién lo arroja, si Lemony o Beatrice. Olaf, en medio de la ira, culpa a Lemony y al final se descubre que la autora del crimen en verdad fue Beatrice.  Esto explicaría por qué Lemony es prófugo: nuestro narrador asume la culpa con tal de salvar a su Beatrice (ugh) y llevar el azucarero a un lugar seguro. Por otra parte también se explica por qué Olaf tardó tanto tiempo en ir tras Beatrice (catorce años mínimo, la edad de Violet). Si recuerdan el flashback del baile, Kit trata de advertir a Lemony con un mensaje “Olaf knows”. ¿Qué es lo que Olaf sabe? Que fue Beatrice y no Lemony la culpable del asesinato. Y finalmente, podemos vislumbrar por qué Kit y Olaf se separaron. Casi puedo imaginar a Olaf gritando a la pobre Kit  “Estás de mi lado o de tu hermano” y es evidente lo que ella habría respondido. Tampoco se perdió la moralidad ambigua de los personajes. Uno puede pensar que Esmé estaba simplemente obsesionada con un tonto objeto, pero también puede pensarse que su odio se desató al verse engañada y menospreciada por sus amigos, quienes no la creían capaz de cuidar algo tan preciado. Además ¿en qué diablos estaba pensando Beatrice al lanzar un dardo envenenado a Esmé? ¿Y por qué dejó que el hombre que amaba asumiera la culpa y eligió ella vivir una vida feliz como si nada? Por otra parte, ver a Lemony despidiéndose de Beatrice con fragmentos de la enorme carta que todos amamos fue más de lo que hubiera podido soportar. Y, para los fans más exigentes que reclaman no haber visto a Bertrand en la escena, quizá habrán notado el comentario de Beatrice, quien afirma haber recibido los dardos de uno de sus fans, ejem-ejem, Bertrand, ¿tal vez?  Estos son los principales nudos que puedo ver resueltos gracias al flashback y es por eso que considero que fue una decisión acertada, justificada y que logró ofrecer un poco de sentido a todos los sucesos que en los libros se mencionan pero que jamás se aclaran.

Aun me hace falta hablar del resto del segundo episodio, aunque en realidad tengo pocos comentarios que hacer al respecto, debido a la genialidad y exactitud con la que fueron retratados el juicio y el incendio. Quizá sea bueno mencionar la secuencia previa al juicio de Olaf y los Baudelaire. Justice Strauss, los Baudelaire y Mr. Poe preparándose, y la imagen amenazante de Olaf son un interludio fabuloso del último giro de la infortunia de los Baudelaire. El discurso de los niños es para romper el corazón y por un momento creí que las cosas tomarían un tono aun más siniestro con las salchichas de Carmelita y Esmé; hubiera sido un toque de genialidad sobre la tragedia ya inminente que éstas en verdad estuvieran envenenadas pero supongo que la serie hubiera terminado con clasificación adulta. La manera en que el juicio gira de estar a favor, a estar en contra de los Baudelaire y la mirada de Justice Strauss al leer el veredicto de los jueces es la culminación del tema de todo el juicio: la justicia es ciega, y esa es la condena de los niños, porque esa ceguera le impide conocer la verdad de que las personas no son buenas ni malas, sino son como ensaladas chef. Los Baudelaire, arrastrados por la fuerza del destino, son incapaces de probar ante esa justicia su inocencia, manchada en medio de esa vinagreta de confusión y conflicto que es el mundo adulto

Podría hablar para siempre de los últimos momentos de The Penultimate Peril y no sería suficiente para terminar de alabar la maestría con la que Lemony retrata la penúltima tragedia. Podría hablar de Klaus decidiendo ayudar a Olaf, pues todas las personas nobles les han fallado. Podría hablar de Sunny Baudelaire proponiendo incendiar el hotel, como Kit Snicket ya había insinuado. Podría hablar de todos los huéspedes del Hotel, negándose a actuar y a escuchar a los niños, una última y funesta vez. Podría hablar de Justice Strauss suplicando a los Baudelaire quedarse, y de sus palabras de despedida,  no hay excusa para huir, no hay excusa para cometer crimenes. Podría hablar de la belleza con la que es retratado el incendio del último lugar seguro para los voluntarios, de la grandiosa toma de los Baudelaire y Olaf frente al atardecer y reunidos en el mismo barco, literal y figuradamente. Y podría hablar de la ultima moraleja con la que The Penultimate Peril cierra y termina de derrumbar todo lo que creíamos: algunas veces, hay que combatir el fuego con más fuego.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s83C2mROgzw

[ofsteelroses]

+ Larry your waiter

things that made me cry in asoue season 3

when sunny tied her hair up on top of her head like violet

violet’s birthday cake

the hook handed man

during the opera flashback, when olaf’s father said “I love you olaf”

lemony’s speech to beatrice after they stole the sugar bowl

the baudelaires testifying on the stand during their trial

lemony and kit talking about jacques’ death

justice strauss letting go of the boat

kit snicket finding out that dewey was dead

olaf’s death

kit naming her baby beatrice

kit’s death

the baudelaires wondering if there really were decent people in the world

the baudelaires leaving the island

quigley reuniting with the other quagmires

the hook handed man and fiona searching for their father

beatrice baudelaire the second, lemony snicket’s only living family, meeting him in a cafe to share with him the story of her family

[badlydrawndrawnings]

atwq book four thoughts

guess who somehow got a lot of free time yesterday and made the bold decision to finish reading the last atwq book? me!

guees who feels like they jinxed qwerty’s fate from the previous book of being arrested, but alive, even though i bet daniel handler planned it from the start? still me!

guess who is rather upset netflix accidentally gave a clue/spoiler on the identity of hangfire?

also me.

okay, so first off, to get something out of the way. i love this book. i really do. it had me on suspense every chapter.

theodora figured out qwerty was in vfd (...when did she figure out? not long after sharon reveal herself as a fake vfd member? or during the period she and lemony weren’t speaking to each other?), and god she really was willing to take the blame on being qwerty’s killer. did she think maybe she once again screw up, but this time there was no going back because the screw up got someone killed? after all she seem to selfishly went to break qwerty out for a good evaluation. maybe she thought if things went different, he would still be alive. and given the schism happened, vfd while not divided yet, this is like a sign on how another librarian’s death in the long, long future, will be blame on an innocent party and things go to hell again in the pursuit of justice and truth.

also, ghede and gifford also knew of the coup as well? or at least knew the sbg was doing something and they’re like let them do this shit and we can watch it’s gonna benefit us in the long run’. also, holy shit olaf name drop take two with beatrice herself! i didn’t think while knowing each other young mean they actually hanged out with one another to think they’re possibility friends. this puts the opera night even worse. beatrice must have knew olaf’s parents. with my headcanon of olaf parents being caring parents to olaf and used their connections to get their son back earlier than others, this is just awful.

getting back on track from the mess that is vfd there’s a murder on a train (agatha christie ahoy!). i admit several weeks ago i made the decision to watch snowpiercer and train to busan so i couldn’t really take the murder on the orient express shout out clearly and kept on thinking of the wild willy wonka and the chocolate factory/snow piercer theory. and zombies in south korea. 

all the damn sbts kids just thought it great to share the one brain cell to be on the same train (pip and squeak just follow in their taxi; cleo and jake had to travel through time in the dilemma to catch up with them). ornette got her time to shine with her artistic/sculpting skills and there’s some light on the subject of the lost family (of course it’s a fire that took ornette’s mom life. fires seems to be a way to kill a lot of parents). i was right to call her gung-ho working with lemony, she just agreed to make fake bb statues for moxie and kellar and was like ‘oh shit the two are sharing a brain cell. hangfire could figure something is up what have i done’ and had to make something else to give to lemony. i uh..wonder if seth has a reason to draw her baseball cap all...fuzzy. just a weird question.

kellar’s sister lizzie shows up. i’m going to be honest. she has the bad luck of appearing last and under two disguises that went over my head (she sure fooled me!). i do have some thoughts that surround her and the haines family, but that needs me to re-read the last two books to make sure i’m not imagining something . will say lizzie is much younger and shorter than i thought given her first illustration. i hope maybe a re-read will make me get some new insight on her. also, hi sally murphy. i’m glad lizzie got out with maybe your help (i mean, why else would she want to high tail it out of there).

the identity of qwerty’s killer was something i should have seen coming due to how the mitchum parents are more subdue. i want to slap stew’s parents. they spend all their time bickering they only got their shit together to see how their ‘precious’ son is really a bully and killer and working with the villian under their damn noses. i almost feel sorry for them because shit stew more or less blackmail his parents into covering the crime but at the same time...this call could have been avoid if you pay attention to how your son isn’t the angel you think he is..and you two are still fighting with one another please get your priorities straight i beg you. i admit i almost want to slap stew but i don’t slap kids, and i think if i exist in the snicket world i would get murder first by him.

qwerty’s death and the fact he’s a vfd member just hurt me so bad and i’m still kind of grieving over him. for one, i felt like i should have seen qwerty being part of vfd coming. he’s a sub-librarian. while not a sub-sub-librarian, the fact is qwerty is such so damn helpful to lemony i should have seen he was just doing his best to help lemony because theodora wasn’t honestly...wasn’t doing a good job at a chaperone. but he couldn’t blow away his cover because he wasn’t supposed to interfere in the apprenticeship and honestly he was just happy to be a sub-librarian helping children find what they would love reading.

but qwerty isn’t the only death in this book. i got to copy-paste something from an old atwq post in feburary 8, something i made as a joke, because oh boy, this part is the one negative i have honestly.

he tried to pretend to be her father! i know his voice mimicry is basically akin to juni cortez’s mimicry, but this is just cruel had ellington been there.

about a week later, i made the decision to rewatch netflix asoue. now, the first time i watch season two [edit lmao i actually don’t remember if it was season two i think i hated season two so much i could have blur two and three together i got to rewatch the show again definitely. edit two: okay, i’m certain it was season two i’m 98% certain it was was a pause and read easter egg that’s why i couldn’t remember what season exactly damn easter eggs] i honestly was like ‘so they gave nero a last name. coolio. feint isn’t a surname i was expecting but this is the netflix show this probably isn’t canon to the books’.

on the rewatch, after the austere academy part two ended, i realized something is...off, with nero now. he’s mocking people. and his voice, while not mimicking them, is like...it’s like nero could have inherit mimicry from someone but it never went through. or maybe he did got it but it’s not at its full potential without the proper teaching of someone with the skill...like a father, perhaps?

so the kronk meme is playing in my mind, but it’s the edit of him saying ‘oh no, it’s all coming together’. and given patrick warburton also voice kronk, it felt more like lemony snicket decided to materialize right behind me, be an asshole, and thought it funny to do a commentary on my possible realization hangfire, in the netflix show at least, couldn’t keep his dick in his pants and bore a bastard son in an adulterous affair and ellington has a half brother in the world she doesn’t know about and i hope she never learns about.

(given barrymore feint is just a cameo of barry sonnenfeld, i guess the bullshit gene i talked about in another post regarding a theory who netflix!h is should be renamed the feint gene.)

so reading the third book, and especially this book, i kept a close eye on any mentions to ellington’s dad and hangfire’s behavior. i kept on saying in my mind ‘please don’t be who i think you are’. and bam. armstrong feint is hangfire. i feel like if netflix didn’t have the need to make an atwq reference in nero’s surname, and if i was smart enough to have the book clues smack me in the face (i feel there are clues somewhere, and hangfire dropped all pretenses and just being ‘himself’ in book two was one), i wouldn’t be so angry and upset by this reveal. i more or less got spoil and put the pieces together due to an adaptation, and i should have known better than to do a re-watch while reading atwq. i should have consider the possibility of easter eggs to atwq.

anyway, lemony snicket thought it great to kill hangfire by feeding him to a copy bombinating beast (the tadpoles!!). with ellington right freaking there. with most of his sbts friends there to witness. moxie can’t even look lemony in the eye anymore (no more best friends anymore). everything happened just like that and after finishing the book and taking a walk around the living room, i have to say hangfire is a good villain. he achieved his goal of getting the bombinating beast, even if it’s a copy. he’s a very competent villain who succeed in almost every book in some way or form. he played everyone like a puppet and was a threat that is more akin to tmwabbnh and twwhbnb’s level of villainy. kudos to you hangfire i’m impressed. 

hangfire totally got it coming too. however, i do feel...hurt in his death, if only for ellington’s sake. during the walk because i realize ellington reminded me of a character from a different fandom i’m in. there’s some differences that i won’t get into (it’s...complicated for the other fandom), but they’re cut from almost the same cloth: teenage girls with shitty fathers who are using them for their own selfish goals. thoughts for ellington and her future formed faster for me than for the other atwq kids as a result:

post-canon!ellington (a few days later when she finally gets her stuff figure out), has a simple list. 1: avoiding anyone with a vfd tattoo or give shady lemon vibes -ellington split asap after she and kit broke out and have 100% certainly no one is after them, but not before stealing some things from kit, one being notes of vfd volunteers (she thinks). 2: find a new place to live. 3: figure out a new name that isn’t an anagram, because the inhumane society once they heard the news, is probably going to try to get her if they get wind she is hangfire’s daughter and possible ‘successor’. ellington wants nothing to do with the bombinating beast. she never wants to see the statue or anything similar, or hear the words again.

adult!ellington (under a fake name of course), while accepting all that happened, hasn’t forgive lemony snicket. yes, her dad was a villain. yes, she finally understand her dad isn’t the kind naturalist and man, and used her for the biggest ‘what’ event of her life that is also a very selfish goal. many times in the past though, ellington wonders if she missed any signs of her dad’s descend to who he eventually became, or if he hid it very well to where he was wearing two masks all this time, one hiding his true nature. ellington even wonders at one point, dad was going convince her to willingly work with him without the fake kidnapping and had to change his plans to something crueler.

ellington will never know for sure. this is why ellington can’t forgive lemony and will say it to face if they ever meet again. what ellington hates the most out of her father’s death is that she can never tell dad all of her feelings about his wrong doings. she can ask all the questions burning at the back of her mind, or yell her frustrations how terrible a father he is for faking his kidnapping and getting her to do his dirty work, getting her to use her loyalty of family to do things she would never do under normal circumstances. she ask questions and yells at the only photo left of armstrong feint...

and in the end, she knows he’ll never answer, and it hurts to deal with the unknown. adult!ellington doesn’t do the yelling and questioning to the photo as much. partly because she did ‘settle’ on what might be an possible answer, but mostly because the photo is pretty faded to where it’s less ‘armstrong feint’ and more ‘hangfire’. once in awhile though, she slips up like old times.

adult!ellington with her new life (she travels a lot, pays in cash most of the time, and has no set resident; she still love coffee) tends to think of the past, especially when it came to what she had with lemony snicket. did lemony like her? was she just a question in need of solving? ellington admits to possibly liking him, but it was so long ago maybe she just thinks she liked him to have a ‘positive’ memory of the boy she haven’t seen in years that she kind of wants to see again, if only to yell at him for robbing her of something important. his name lands on her radar a lot, twice from the daily punctilio. the first one was learning of lemony snicket’s crimes, and it was an accident.

the second time, she learn of his death, though she read the daily punctilio on purpose in hopes of a name drop. adult!ellington ended up finding some children’s book, and made the mistake of going to the back of it and find a photo of lemony snicket. not really though. lemony is hiding his face (ellington hates it) and she buys it to know what it’s about. it spiral to where she bought the next two books because she wants to know if the baudelaires orphans are real (and because lemony doesn’t seem the same anymore from his writings). ellington settles on real when she pulls out kit snicket’s notes she stolen and cross references names, and even travels to the locations to them to make sure. after the third book publication, the series goes on ‘hiatus’ due to the daily punctilio and their announcement. ellington doubts he’s dead, but couldn’t help attend the funeral. ellington is certain lemony snicket is alive, because she convinced she saw him at his own funeral.

[verified-fanmade-deductions]

The Grim Grotto

- No Widdershins????? He’s gone???? Why is he gone???? W H A T

- I mean, I didn’t necessarily like him per se, but I just want to know why they removed him?????

- The thing is, I actually preferred it without him there. Huh.

- THE GREAT UNKNOWN IS TERRIFYING WHAT THE HECK

- Fiona’s glasses are just as ridiculous as I imagined them being thank you so much Netflix.

- Klaus has a cruuuuuush ;)))))

- Fernald is trying his gosh dang hardest I am so proud of him and I feel so bad.

- But apparently he really hates telegraph machines dang.

- “yES I kNOw yOU wANt tHe sUGaR bOwL” added 20 years to my life.

- Carmelita is STILL annoying, yay!!

- I LOVE the foreshadowing in part 1 about Fernald’s relationship with Widdershins, and about his relationship with Fiona, goshhhh. I am STILL a slut for foreshadowing.

- The Medusoid Mycelium is actually so scary.

- PHIL!!!!!! AAAAAAAA I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM!!!!!!!!

- The underwater scenes are awesome!!!!

- The Carmelita is terrifying.

- THEY INCLUDED THE HORRENDOUS EVIL LAUGHING I’M SO HAPPY

- The return of the “Get a room” joke.

- Mr. Poe is still as useless as ever.

- THE RETURN OF “LITERALLY VS FIGURATIVELY” YESSSS!!!

- Lemony Snicket talking about the water cycle y e s

- Fernald being told he wasn’t part of the family actually hurt so much, poor Fernald :((

- COUNT OLAF STABBING HIS FINGER O U C H

- Quigley was back????? I DON’T MIND I LOVE QUIGLEY!!!

- This is less about the show and more about ASOUE in general but: WHAT’S IN THE SUGAR BOWL?!?!?!!?!!!?!?!?!!!

- I loved seeing the parts where Fernald was loosening up and realizing the mistakes he made. You could SEE his progress.

- CARMELITA’S SINGING AGSGSVFHJ

- No poems???? No coded poems???? Where are the coded poems????????

- I really like how they showed Fernald and Fiona planning their escape!!!!

- I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they showed the flashback of Fernald setting the fire!!!!!!

- Okay, I don’t what it is, but I just...really loved that kiss scene. I don’t even really ship the two, I just loved how it was handled. It wasn’t drawn out, it wasn’t over dramatic, it wasn’t even at a very revealing angle. It was short, simple, and sweet. It was brief, and generally didn’t have much focus on it. Just like in the book. And I LOVE THAT. THANK YOU NETFLIX.

- Carrier Crows!!!!!!

- That knowing look on Fernald’s face when Violet said “she’s our sister” broke my heart.

- Fernald and Fiona hugging stitched it back together

- Violet’s birthday :((((((

- Sunny’s almost-death could’ve been sadder imo, but it was still really good.

- KITKITKITKITKITKITKIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Okay, it’s time for me to rant: I LOVE THE MORAL AMBIGUITY. I love the message of “no one is just noble or wicked”. It’s one of my all time favourite messages in books. Or really in anything. I LOVE the message that both Fernald and Fiona convey, that message of “I may be doing something that is wicked, but I am sticking by the side of the person I love, my family, because I am NOT going to abandon them, and I love them”. I LOVE THAT MESSAGE SO FRICKIN MUCH. I’m not advocating for you all to go commit arson for your siblings, but what I’m SAYING is that things aren’t always black and white. Things aren’t always just noble or wicked. They’re a chef’s salad. And I LOVE THAT THEY CONVEY THIS. I would do so much for my sister because SHE’S MY SISTER AND I LOVE HER. And I love how Netflix retained this moral ambiguity. Fernald isn’t noble or wicked, he’s morally grey, but HE STILL HAS STANDARDS. There’s only so far his nobility or wickedness will go, you know, JUST LIKE AN ACTUAL HUMAN BEING. This just turned into me just talking about the book, but basically what I’m saying is that I’m so glad that the show picked up all of this from the book and RETAINED IT. This morally questionable behaviour, but deep rooted sibling love, is why I love Fernald and Fiona’s relationship so frickin much. Thank you Netflix. And thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Well, I hope that made at least some semblance of sense, I just got really passionate and started rambling, so sorry if I don’t make any sense! Anyways, these were two AMAZING episodes, and even though they changed a lot from the book, they retained the important things, and I am so so happy about them.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

ASoUE Series ->NEED TO KNOW

If any of you are familiar with my Stranger Things Rewrite, this series is going to work like that. Everything you know about the Series of Unfortunate Events will stay the same, except you the reader are along for the journey! This is a Klaus x Reader story!!

And that's why there's only one difference in this story. Because this is a Klaus x Reader story, you will meet and join the Baudelaires during the Miserable Mill. Now please hear me out. For those of you who have seen and/or read Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events the three children are genuinely adopted from home to home by guardian to guardian, and if the reader was introduced any sooner than the miserable mill than she would have been adopted with them seeing as she needs to stay with them for this story to work. So basically, I don't feel comfortable writing a Klaus x reader [even if they aren't siblings and they just met] where she is genuinely adopted in the traditional sense with them.

I say "genuinely adopted" because those were the last instances where they were adopted in the normal sense. [Spoiler warning for The Ersatz Elevator!!]>>>> And the only other time they are "adopted" into a home, it was all a plot from the beginning, by Count Olaf and his greedy girlfriend who adopted as many rich orphans as possible. <<<<[Spoiler over!]

Anyways, you the reader are an orphan. You lived in Paltryville with your guardians and two siblings [I only added siblings because it fits the VFD theme of three kids. They won't be in the story and you can pick their names so I don't accidentally put your name] Until one day, the entire town of Paltryville mysteriously burned down, you being the only survivor of your family which left you an orphan. You lived in the classiest part of Paltryville, your parents having practically inherited the town from your ancestors, leaving you with an enormous fortune that you did not have access to until you came of age.

However, unlike the Baudelaires, no one came to get you to relocate you. So you had to fend for yourself. Knowing of Lucky Smells Lumbermill and their live-in dorms that miraculously survived the fire, you decided to go to the mill and beg for a job and a bed. Much to your surprise, you didn't have to beg, they let you in despite you being only a child. Nevertheless, you took it and that's how you got along.

Now, as for your talent. It seems every member of VFD, children, in particular, have a talent and I have brainstormed this and discussed it with my friend who has been helping me and I think I have it figured out. Running. Sorry if you're not athletically inclined, I'm not either, I have asthma but this is what we came up with. Who knows, maybe I'll come up with something else and I'll work it in there but for now, it's running. You love to run, it helps you blow off steam. You are good at it.

This will come in handy on many occasions throughout the series. Anyways. I know this has been a super long thing that must seem boring to read but I know that you guys would have questions if you didn't have this so I hope this was helpful. Again, this will be lengthy, I'm going to have several parts for the miserable mill so that this stretches into a book, but book 2 and 3 [aka season 2 and 3] will be back on track and feature every episode.

Thank you for reading this and I hope you enjoy!

[asoue-sideblog]

my mind is immediately jumping to the worst case scenario, which is that Widdershins was cut so that every adult volunteer in S3 could be a Cool Sexy Adventure Spy who is trying to be helpful but just caaaaan't

and instead of Fiona being a kid who is deliberately kept in the dark and undermined up to the point he suddenly abandons her in mortal peril and she's forced to try to figure out wtf to do on her own (and her conclusion is "I have no idea what to do :( I need to find my family"), she's a Cool Flirty Adventure Teen who's been operating independently for ages

at this point I think it might be best to keep my expectations rock bottom? hmm.

me: oh boy i can’t wait to see the grim grotto! it’ll be such a cool series of episodes! i especially hope we get to see more of fiona! 

netflix: oh, you’ll definitely be seeing more of fiona. 

me: really? 

netflix: yeah! cause we cut widdershins! 

me: … 

netflix: yeah, you all were right, he IS annoying, so he’s gone now. fiona’s the captain. he’s off hunting manatees or some shit. we don’t care. 

me: you… you do realize that his presence in this book is extremely important for the baudelaires’ interactions with vfd, fiona’s backstory and dependance on whatever family she can get, and the overall mystery, right? 

netflix: yeah but he’s annoying

me: 

netflix: also fiona’s actively flirting with klaus now 

me: you know… you can just kill me now if that’s what you really want 

netflix: that’s what you get for complaining about olivia’s character being nuked 

[huffleporg]

My fellow associates - villains and volunteers,

I will be using the following tags after watching ASOUE season three for two weeks (until January 14th) across all of my accounts (huffleporg, @veryfalsedictations, @aseriesofarresteddevelopments, @lemonysnidget):

“asoue spoilers” - all posts even just “!!!” will have this tag

“asoue netflix critical” - for anything that’s net south of positive

“asoue liveblog”

Please blacklist or block those tags if you wish to avoid spoilers.

I will probably be watching over the course of the next 48 hours, since I’ll have family obligations.

Peace.

[singingaboutwishingx]

Warning: Spoilers for season three of A Series of Unfortunate Events on Netflix

Hi, lovelies! On today’s episode of Bianca Spills the Tea, we’ll be talking about the third and final season of ASOUE. I haven’t been able to watch all of it, but I’ve gotten all the way through The Grimm Grotto, Part 2, so that’s what I’ll be talking about today! However, considering that I have read the whole series (plus some supplemental material), I wouldn’t suggest continuing unless you have also read/watched the whole series because this does contain spoilers beyond The Grimm Grotto.

The Slippery Slope

-Imma be completely honest here— my extremely vague recollection of this book isn’t worth shit, so this will mostly be what I thought about the episode itself

-That being said, didn’t Violet and Klaus escape the caravan by pouring something sticky on the wheels? Idk I feel like that was something that happened

-hoLY SHIT JACQUELYN’S THE DUCHESS OF WINNIPEG I ALWAYS KNEW SHE WAS A FUCKING QUEEN BUT NOW SHE’S CONFIRMED ROYALTY

-Kit Snicket is everything. I love her with my whole heart and would die for her

-Fernald and Sunny are so freaking cute I am here for this friendship (even if it’s mostly one-sided)

-This show’s self awareness never fails to make me laugh, characters repeating Lemony’s narration verbatim is just hilarious to me

-“Give me those earrings, Rachel!” lmao

-When they cut back to Lemony’s narration after Violet and Quigley stopped to rest I couldn’t stop thinking about that one post where it said that Beatrice II helped Lemony write the books and when asked, said that Violet liked Duncan and then Lemony was like “what? I thought she liked Quigley” so Bea panicked and was like “uhhhhhhhh she liked them both”

-While watching, I kind of thought that The Woman with Hair But No Beard sounded kind of like Beverly from The Mindy Project and I WAS RIGHT IT’S THE SAME LADY

-And when she and The Man With a Beard but no Hair said something about how Kit was Olaf’s “associate” I SNORTED because HONEY IT IS CONFIRMED THAT THEY FUCKED. “ASSOCIATE” DOESN’T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE IT

- #letvioletsayfuck2k19

-^^ she deserves it

-The inclusion of “xylophone” in the Snow Scout pledge was one of the only things I remembered about this book and I was delighted to see that it had been included in the show

-Quigley you dumbass when everyone else ducks you duck too

-I did really like this pair of episodes, they had the same wit and dark charm as usual

The Grimm Grotto

-I’m not quite sure why they didn’t include Captain Widdershins as in the books. I guess it was maybe to move the plot along faster so they could have time to include how Olaf and Esmé got their submarine but idk

-I sincerely hope that ASOUE gets an Emmy nom for costumes. Esmé in that octopus outfit was everything I never knew I wanted

-More touching Fernald and Sunny content that I am HERE FOR

-Fernald following his conscience? I think yes

-Violet’s hair is so pretty? Like wtf how does she rock blunt cut bangs and straight long hair

Those villainous laughs got me every damn time

-TRIANGLE EYES LMAO

-Honestly though what even was that Klaus/Fiona kiss? Homegirl looked like she just kind of raised her face and just kind of... touched her lips to his I’m still cackling (although I do understand. Having to kiss someone you haven’t known for long is awkward, especially as a child)

-Katherine Snicket, I don’t care HOW cool you think you look, KEEP YOUR GOD DAMN EYES ON THE ROAD. YOU MAY BE REVEALING YOUR IDENTITY TO THE AUDIENCE BUT IT’S NOT GOING TO MATTER IF YOU HIT ANOTHER CAR AND DIE

-Also I’m not sure if Kit is short for Katherine, but for the sake of the angry reaction above, it’ll do in a pinch

-I just love this series sm it’s amazing and brilliant