#asmr shitpost

[soup-scope]

I watched rhe original planet of the apes with my dad last night and the main character keeps being referred to as “brighteyes” for like the first 3/4 of the film. I flinched whenever it was mentioned as if it was a strictly redactedverse nickname 😭😭

GET ME OUTTA THIS BRAINROT RN IM HUMILIATING MYSELF

[doomstonee]

ASMR Fever tries to break in with a chainsaw as you listen to music

[mintygreencake]

Sam after leaving his house and joining the Shaw pack security team.

[aggro-my-beloved]

so um let me introduce all new redacted fans to the shaw pack

[autism-corner]

LEVI STARTS ASMR CHANNEL??? NOT FAKE!!

(blank/betterQuality and reference under cut =w=bb)

[kathleen-koi]

What if shifter sway their hips when they’re really happy like how dogs wag their tails but instead it’s just really suttle hip swaying

even better they do the little stompings

[grilledcheezy92]

Angel: "Captain Gantu could get it."

David: *silently resigning himself once again to the fact that his mate is just like that*

Milo: *is horrified*

Baaabe/Sweetheart: *have heard way more unhinged shit from Angel in the Mates GC™️ and are unfazed*

Sam/Darlin: *silently considering the implications of what that means about Angel and David's sex life, exchanging a look and deciding that thought is best not dwelled on*

Asher: "You know what? You're absolutely right."

[dahliasunset26]

Darlin Headcanon

Besides gender, Darlin is one of those mesmerizing beauties that are even intimidating, and Porter reaction was proof of this, men like him are handsome and they know they are so when they see someone that they actually think is hot beside them it's pretty notorious.

Quinn are the type of people that can convince a really beautiful person that they aren't.

And more of Sam's praises are about how beautiful he thinks Darlin is.

There's a widely spread headcanon that many pack members had a crush on darlin when younger, and that angel think that darlin is hot.

Darlin is etereal beauty personified.

[puffin-smoke]

Youtube when:

i sleep 😴

Youtube when Redacted:

💥💥😡😡 KILL. BLASPHEMY. THINK OF THE CHILDREN. HOW DARE HE

[indigo-greer-collins]

me when anyone in the redactedverse speaks

[empydoc]

be a honey. fuck a guy.

[l-mint-l]

[cosmicstarlatte]

Belphie: Hey do you wanna listen to some devildom music?

MC: Yeah sure

MC:

MC (taking off the earbud): no

MC: that was just tortured screaming

Belphie: You didn't even get to the best part

[aggro-my-beloved]

david “i’m scared of mom/dad too, don’t worry” shaw

asher “is your refrigerator running and other dad jokes” talbot

milo “go ask your mother/father bc the answer i’d give you is the wrong one” greer

sam “you have your mama’s/papa’s eyes” collins

[moronkyne]

Shifters with plenty of animalistic tendencies part two: (a follow up to the moon-eyes headcanon post)

Yes, I did research for this. So all are based on real wolf-facts.

Born with naturally lighter eyes that darken with age. For example; pups who are born with light grey eyes may be observed with their eyes growing a dark brown over time.

They tan easily because they do spend most of their early days out in the sun, playing around.

Less sensitive to raw meats. (Yet doesn’t mean that raw is always a preference.)

Although they don’t have super-hearing like our well known vampires… they do have sensitive ears.

Shifters are less likely to get diagnosed with sorts of mental illness or divergences. This is because many people outside of the shifter race put the symptoms under “wolf like behaviors”. For example, “the zoomies.” You know how dogs get sudden urges to just get up and bolt around? Well, I believe that many sorts of fidgeting or tinkering within shifters are classed as that.

[kathleen-koi]

Asher, Milo and Darlin on break at work

(They’re 100% in David’s car)