#asks or replies or rbs or literally anything please

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

fell asleep last night but the public has spoken @multiple-eyes36 @mysecrethideoutthatalsohasabat this is probably going to get long

This is a darker podcast so like TW death/murder and also religion and cults (If there is anything else I need to tag lmk please!)

okay so i'll start with the basic plot of the podcast, brickwood's amusement park. 5 kids get invited to this amusement park for an early access viewing, one of which being sophia who is a popular youtuber/vlogger and is doing a review video on the park for views and publicity (she is where most of the audio clips come from in the beginning) some of the other kids are sunni, rebecca and (not shown in previous post) david and blair.

And basically they get a tour of the park and its Not Normal TM, everything seems a bit off and just like weird, rides start without operators being there, the music is significantly more creepy than a usual park, etc, and eventually when its time to leave oops! they can't find the exit :) all of the employee's seem to be missing as well so they get trapped in the park and are trying to escape while everything gets more and more creepy and while really knowing nothing about the people they are stuck with, or maybe some of them do??

also there is this weird guy who keeps talking to them on the speakers and being really creepy (keeps talking about 'should have made better decisions' and knows way to much about their lives and is talking with sophia a lot and she seems to trust him a lot??) who knows if he's important or not though (he is and he's totally NOT an evil god el oh el)

so...characters!! lets start with Sunni (He/him) because he's my fav fr. so sunni is basically the mom friend, is protective and wants everyone to be okay, like he's caring right? and is basically the most calm person out of the kids. But he does actually know one of the other characters, David (Ae/aer). Sunni and david were best friends when they were younger until their mutual best friend died. So after their friend died David and Sunni stopped being friends because sunni was the last person to be with their friend and despite it looking like their friend got hit by a car, David believes (For good reason) that Sunni actually killed/murdered their friend for some reason but doesn't have any evidence for this and just decided to drop him as a friend as david belives ae can't trust Sunni anymore. And of course Sunni's secret of this gets revealed at the park bc of course it does and then david has like 6 internal crises for several reasons.

Moving onto Sophia !! Sophia (She/they + neos (echo/ver/eye)is a vlogger but is also the head of a religious cult that worships the god that definitely didn't trap them in the park just to torture mortals, what?? noooo. Sophia was basically born into the cult since their parents where a part of it before she was born and they use ver channel to subtly support the cult and gain more followers and stuff. Sophia has a bigger connection to the god and because of this they are basically the speaker for the group, she speaks to the god and he speaks to the group through eye. So while they are trapped the god basically convinces her to kill for the god and to do other things to like prove ver loyalty and stuff. But she ends up dying bc of the god in the end anyways.

Oh yeah, they all die but rebecca btw sorry :'(

Speaking of rebecca! Their story will have to wait until tomorrow bc im leaving for another holiday celebration :((( ANYWAYS!! HI please ask questions and like literally anything i love talking about them thank you!! <33

also here are blair and david :D

[psychologeek]

Teaser on chapter 24!

Bc I loved it, and I think you would as well.

Edit: please, please let me know what do you think about this. Comments, #, rb - all goes.

If any of my followers is fluent in Arabic, I would highly appreciate it if you take a look and lmk what you think. Translating idioms is HARD.

Idioms I used/referenced to in chapter:

You play with cats, you find the talons - thousand words.

اللي بدو يلعب مع القط بدو يلقى خراميشه

Literal translation: Whoever plays with a cat will find his claws.

English equivalent: If you play with fire, you’re going to get burned.

Whoever has a head wound keeps feeling it

(I also considered "a book knows its reader" - which suits better to Jason, but is an Egyptian proverb, afaik.)

Darbk 'akhdar

دَرْبك أخضر Lit. Your path is green.

Guan Tang Bao Zi - a dish from Keifung.

Anyway -fic!

That was a good day, he remembers. Father had been away on some mission with the Kryptonian and the warrior. Mother had taken him to an old restaurant, where no one knew them. Where they were just a mother and her son, eating and talking about school or football or whatever American kids talk about. Mother had then proceeded to ensure he hadn't lost any of his fighting skills. He had gotten to keep the dagger he gained in the battle. Yes, he knows she’d let him take it. That's irrelevant. Mother is a mighty warrior, and there is no shame in losing to her. They ate dinner at a Chinese place. They even had proper Guan Tang Bao Zi, served with a spoon, like Mother used to eat as a child. He can almost taste the sugared pear he ordered as a dessert. But every good thing must come to an end. 

And as they exit the restaurant, Mother takes him to an alley. There's someone already waiting there, sitting on his motorbike with his helmet on, one hand typing so.ething on his phone.  “Kiif kaan?” how it's been?  Mother asks as they approach the cyclist. “Tamam,” the man replies, distracted. fine. “Kiif zakhtak?” Mother asks.  How do you feel?  “Tamam,” the man's still focused on his phone. “Wa sahiblk?” Mother doesn't let go. and your friends? “Tamam, yā mama,” he finally put away the phone. “Kulu tamam. lā taqlluqī.” His voice is both irritated and loving as he finally turns to look at them taking off his black helmet, he smiles at mother. Fine, mom, everything's ok. Don't worry. “What will I do with you, Asfuri?” She mumbles, letting out a long sigh. “You kids and your phones.” “Hi–!” The man's mouth opens in an offended scream, but mother easily disarms him. “You are late, Ayuni,” she kisses his forehead. “I almost thought you were caught.” “As if,” the man rolls his eyes at her. “They wish. You taught me well.” “You play with cats, you find the talons,” she warns him fiercely. “I wasn't –” “How many explosions, uh? How many more then you really needed?” The man sighs. “How did you know?” “Whoever has a head wound keeps feeling it,” she reminds him. “You keep looking at your phone to see if it made it to the news yet.” “I'm sorry,” the man says. “I almost failed you. It won't happen again.” “Make sure it doesn't,” Mother is certain. “I will not lose you to such low-life creatures.” But her face are soft as she looks at Damian's brother. “Rukhi“ she kisses his right cheek. My soul “Mi Alma,” she finally kisses his left cheek. Jinsu's face is an interesting color. Almost as red as his war helmet, Damian notices. Mother takes a deep breath, and faces back at Damian.  “Yalla, Habibi,” she holds him. “It’s time to go.” (And if his arms hold her tightly, and his fists are closed behind her back– if he breathsher for nearly a minute, there's no one around to say anything about it. Except for Jinsu, but he'll never tell.) “Darbk 'akhdar, Galbi,” Mother says as she picks him up and helps him up the motorcycle. Travel safely, my heart. (He can do it alone, but her arms are soft and warm and long missed. He lets her help him.) "aetni bi'akhik, ya ibni,” she says. Take care of your brother, my son. “Dayamin,” they both reply. Always. (Damian doesn't look back as his brother takes them away from their mother.)

[skywxlkcr]

angstpril day 20: broken

and I'll be in denial for at least a little while

After that one clone's attack, Robotboy knew something was wrong. But he didn't have time to think about it any longer because he had a fight to win and people to save, so he ignored it.

He should be glad that it happened at the end, but in that moment when he felt a strange pressure in his chest and then he literally got thrown out of super activation, he felt neither joy nor relief, just pain pain pain, what happened?

"Ro!"

"Ro?"

"Hey Ro, you okay there?"

He heard Tommy, Lola and Gus calling him, but couldn't react. Only when the kids gathered around him and he had Tommy in sight did he raise his head. The blond looked at him with confusion, fear and worry and Robotboy felt even worse. He didn't like it when Tommy worried. Ro was supposed to protect him.

"Ro, look at me. Tell me what happened."

RB shook his head.

"Robotboy in pain. Something...wrong," he replied, suddenly feeling strange exhaustion. But, the battery wasn’t empty yet?

Tommy looked even more concerned than before.

" 'It hurts?' Ro, what-"

But Robotboy didn't have the strength to explain to him.

"Sleep..."

He would have hit his head on the concrete if he hadn't been sure Tommy would catch him. Tommy always caught him.

"What...? No, wait, Ro!"

He just needed to sleep, he probably got too tired. When he wakes up he will definitely be better.

"ROBOTBOY?!"

Sleep.

[***]

He couldn't remember the last time someone had so aggressively woke him from shutdown mode. He was already about to be offended when he realized that no one was turning him off, he himself...

passed out?

"Ro?"

He opened his eyes. Tommy was standing next to him and leaning over him, still worried.

"Tommy?"

The boy breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey. I'm glad you came back to us, Ro. "

He frowned.

"Robotboy go out somewhere?" He asked confusedly. Before Tommy could answer, Lola and Gus entered the room.

"Tommy! Did Ro wake up?" Lola asked.

"Did you tell him that the guy was fuming when you opened him" Gus interjected. Hearing this, Ro sat up.

"What?!"

Tommy sighed.

"Thanks, Gus," he muttered. Gus only shrugged.

"Someone had to tell him, you can't keep him in the dark forever just because you're being a pussy, Tommy" he added. Lola facepalmed. Tommy rolled his eyes.

"Never mind," he growled then turned back to the robot, "Ro, remember when you said something about being in pain?"

RB reflexively grabbed his small torso with his hand, which did not escape the boy's attention.

"Yes."

"Can you tell me what happened earlier?" he asked. Ro thought about it.

There was this one clone he fought with. One who was somehow different from the rest. He remembered that when he finished fighting him, he felt different.

"A strange clone, then it hurt me, and then..." he winced slightly "it threw me out of super activation."

Tommy frowned.

" 'It threw you out'? "

Robotboy nodded. The boy thought about it.

"What do you think, Tommy?" Lola asked.

"Ro, I think the superactivation is broken."

Ro blinked a few times. No. Impossible. He shook his head.

"Impossible," he added aloud. Possible?

He took a step back. Tommy quickly noticed the robot's dismay.

"I'm sure it's only temporary!" he assured, wanting to calm him down, but Robotboy didn't listen to him anymore.

He couldn't lose his superactivation. Without it, he was-

useless.

When he tried to superactivate, all he felt was pain and frustration. Come on, work, I can't be useless-

If I don't protect them then who will?

He hissed, grabbing his chest. Then he heard voices around him.

"Ro, stop, please."

"Ro, don't do anything by force!"

"Yeah, dude, you'll break something."

He opened his eyes (when did he close them?) and saw Tommy, Lola, and even Gus, sending him worried glances. He didn't want that. He didn't want pity.

He wanted superactivation.

"Useless," he said aloud. Tommy frowned.

"What? Ro, what are you saying? You're not useless. "

"Tommy, just call Moshimo and ask him how to fix it...ouch!" Gus interrupted when Lola hit him on the back of the head "what's that for?"

"Gus, think sometimes before you say something," she growled. Gus sent her an offended look.

Meanwhile, Robotboy sat on his best friend's bed, drawing his legs to his chest. Tommy sighed and, ignoring Lola and Gus, walked over to the bed and sat down next to Robotboy.

"Ro, I promise to figure out how to fix the superactivation, okay?" Ro nodded "Remember that you are not and will never be useless. "

RB also sighed.

"Okay, Tommy," he said, resting his head on the boy's shoulder.

He hoped that Tommy was right.

can you tell i kinda gave up in the end? lmao a day late but still here!! i'll try to write a few more prompts before april ends but no promises oof anyway i always wondered what would happen if ro just lost superactivation like there was a whole ep when he was stuck in that mode so what would happen if he couldn’t use it? i may use that idea in the near future again hehe okay that’s all from me byeeee

[fiymywings]

ahh if youre able to, would you mind sharing some tls of hollow? there’s so little content of him? 😭

absolutely! i'll make a few proper posts with translations once i get the time and energy to (very mentally burnt out right now so basically anything i've already done/am working on at the moment are the most i can muster), but this is sort of an assortment of summaries/from-memory translations for the time being

it's a bit long so it's under a read more but hopefully these can suffice until i get on that

from ch. 2 of his beginning of a dream meister story:

hollow and emma run into someone injured in a back alley, and rush to aid him only for a bystander to mistake hollow as the perpetrator behind several similar attacks, insisting it was him on the basis of him being caught literally red handed. hollow doesn't reply and just dismantles a nearby wheel barrel to become a makeshift . i forgot what they're called but they transport hospital patients and tells him to take the injured guy to help which clears the air up pretty fast. the resulting conversation happens:

Emma: By the way... when that guy said your hands were stained red, what was up with that?

Hollow: ... fufu~

Emma: ?

Hollow: Efufufufu~

Emma: ?????

Hollow: I was enjoying a particularly good drink of pomegranate juice that day. Though, I appear to have been a bit clumsy with disposal.

(i think about this exchange so much. yes she did use ??? in actual dialogue if im remember correctly)

Moon route Ch. 3

after having essentially put down a mechanical hound, he approaches emma and asks for her hand before putting a handmade metal bracelet on her. she asks about the details, and he confirms it was made with some scrap parts from the hound, having wanted to carry the memory of the hound around before she realized he had a matching bracelet (this made me start absolutely losing it btw. absolutely broke the hinges off my metal door)

he also said a REALLY nice quote about hardships and relying on each other but i cant for the life of me remember the baseline of it so i'll rb and tack it onto it

guild home interaction

i don't have the exact tls and because it was a random event it might take a bit for me to get it again to tl but essentially hollow was flipping through a book/magazine, saw an illustration of a mouse, and yelled. emma went to check up on him and tried to calm him down but iirc he ended up bolting despite it just being an illustration

train of remembrance ch 5

hollow sits down next to emma after effese (i dont know how to spell his name sorry if i got it wrong hgfdjb) is settled down by her and they take a moment to look out the window (this one i had written down because i was gushing to someone over discord)

Hollow: Would it be alright if I rested here as well? Emma: Of course! Go ahead. Hollow: Nfu~ Then, please excuse me a moment. If you take your time gazing out there… it's as if just outside the window is but a sky full of stars. Though of course we have our current situation, it begins to feel like we're merely on a journey. Just a bit. Emma: Fufu, looks like it. Hollow: Everyone back at Niji no Kanata too, they're all working very hard, so… Someday, with you invited along as well, I'd like to go on a nice relaxing journey together. Certainly Lagoon will prepare the finest transport available. Emma: Wah, I'm looking forward to it! [ Idling chatting with Hollow, the tension from prior had abruptly relaxed.] Emma: (Such a nice feeling, it's like my shoulders have finally untensed. Hollow… he pretty much controlled the energy in the room, huh?) Hollow: Efesse too, shall we get you sat down somewhere so you may talk too?

he later dropped the bomb he had basically picture perfect memory and could remember stuff even back when he was just a lil baby which is pretty in line with his natural talent of not just dismantling at stupid speed but 1. rapid assembly 2. part recognition (i.e. recalling what part in a machine is what series, what number, what alloy, etc)

some uncategorized stuff:

hollows date lines, i dont remember if its 10+ or 20+ since i have him at 26 but hes talking to the player and says smth along the lines of "we look like lovers? ... ah, that makes me happy"

it's confirmed in his sun route he sort of mentally blacks out upon hearing a clock and has to stop everything in order to dismantle it right away assumedly because of a noise trigger. it's played off for giggles in the main story but it seems outright painful for him in the meister story so i have no idea what's going on there but i believe in ch. 3 emma actually asks about that and he essentially goes "although i'm not sure, i'm sure i'll figure it out eventually!" nonchalantly and emma goes YOURE SO CHILL ABOUT IT?!

i'm not sure how well i would translate it, but he speaks pretty politely/formally! i kinda translate it as the type of speech "OH GOOD HEAVENS!" would come from as a result but you're welcome to interpret it as you'd like

[bdkrp]

Rules + RP Etiquette

General:

Standard stuff: no god-modding, rb from source, bigots gtfo.

Literate style preferred; usually writing a minimum of 2-3 paragraphs. ◾ Reply length may reflect rp partner’s, but I always try to provide at least a few sentences to work with, and I’d expect you to do the same <:)

Due to the fact that I've never been acknowledged whenever I've done so, I do not send passwords. Rest assured that I've read your rules, just like I expect you to read mine.

Mostly iconless, but I absolutely won't mind if you use icons, as long as you don't mind me not using any, haha!

While not too selective, unintentional bad grammar* and spelling mistakes really kill the mood for me, sorry! * I can’t judge this too hard if English isn’t your first language (it's not mine either), but I will grimace if you type “your” instead of “you’re” and such—

I must ask that you be patient. I have a very varied schedule that keeps me busy, and I burn out easily (the wonders of leaving the house while being an introvert haha).

This is a request more than a rule, but please don't use the Legacy Editor's editable reblogs with me. I use the Beta Editor + XKit and I'd like to keep my threads as neat-looking as possible. You may blame my OCD for that one.

Please tell me if you need anything tagged! I typically do tag things (as "__ cw /"), but I may still miss some things,,

Interactions:

I "only rp with mutuals" in the sense that I’ll follow you if I’m interested in your muse(s)! If you followed me first, it shouldn’t take me more than a week to follow back (sometimes I can't check new blogs right away).

Okay with unprompted asks or starters! ◾ You can also drop a message if you’d like to plan a closed rp (either on an IM or Discord, tho I prefer the latter).

I’m in my late 20s. Mature themes only if you’re 21+. ◾ While smut may not happen often, it will be tagged as '#‼️ns.fw‼️', so block this tag if you'd like to avoid seeing that stuff (although I'll still use 'read more's whenever possible).

This should be obvious given the previous point, but either way, I’d rather have no minors follow me. I legitimately don’t have the mental capacity to parent anyone irl. Stay safe, kiddos!

DNI if you are a pro-shipper. I don't need to tell you that a dude impregnating his sister is Not A Good Thing. If you somehow think otherwise, do us both a favour and just block me.

IC Stuff:

Regardless of the franchise or verse, I’ll interpret each rp to take place on its own little timeline unless anything indicates otherwise. ◾ That would mean that I'm okay with your muse doing whatever to mine, so go nuts if you want! (although I'll still appreciate a warning so I know what to expect haha)

Open for shipping if you are! I am multi-ship (see the previous point), and also very open about human x non-human relationships.

If you'd like to turn a meme/prompt into a thread, go ahead! No complains on my part :)

I accept Magic Anons; however, rather than doing that old thing where my character will be in a certain state for x amount of time, I'll write an open starter with the MA as the premise for it.

My timezone is CET/CEST.

[sagesolsticewrites]

I posted 879 times in 2022

That's 879 more posts than 2021!

208 posts created (24%)

671 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@burninlovebutler

@karamelcoveredolicity

@sagesolsticewrites

@troubleinapinksuit

@sassy-ahsoka-tano

I tagged 795 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#austin butler - 436 posts

#elvis (2022) - 278 posts

#elvis 2022 - 265 posts

#austin butler x reader - 147 posts

#austin butler imagine - 133 posts

#austin butler fic - 129 posts

#elvis biopic - 114 posts

#elvis baz luhrmann - 112 posts

#austin butler fanfiction - 105 posts

#sage speaks - 101 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#no this definitely isn’t code for ‘i don’t have a plot yet i literally just heard this song and wanted to write something’ definitely not 👀

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Romance Will Reign Supreme | Austin Butler x Reader

Request from Anonymous: wondering if you could please write Austin Butler and his non-famous girlfriend shyreader are hanging around at the amusement park. Austin is so deeply in love with her & the two of them are just being an adorable couple and everyone is shipping them so hard, just hardcore fluff. Thx and I love your fics btw

a/n: posting this early as a HUUUGE thank you to y’all for 400 followers!! I honestly can’t believe it y’all are so sweet 🥺 to the dear nonnie who requested this: i hope it’s okay I made the reader gender neutral here! As a genderfluid person myself (though I lean more fem most days), I’m working on writing more gender neutral inclusive language in my fics! (in case you were wondering, the title is from a Tangled song! who knows which one it is 👀)

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: a couple swear words, inaccuracies about California & Disneyland, Austin being adorable, I think that's it? As always, please let me know if I missed anything!

Thank you so much to my bestie @austin-butlers-gf for helping me with this!

Please like/rb if you enjoyed! 🤍

“Babe, you ready to go?” Austin calls from the hall.

“Yeah!” You reply, grabbing your bag from where it sits on your bedside table. You step out into the hall, double-checking you have everything first— phone, sunscreen, wallet— before turning to your boyfriend, asking for about the twentieth time that day, “And you’re sure it’s okay I’m coming with you? I know you said it was a cast meetup, I don’t want to intrude on anything—“

“Y/N,” Austin places his hands on your shoulders, the sincere look in his eyes cutting off your nervous rambling, “I want you to be there. Besides, everyone loves you. They all practically begged me to bring you along.”

You nod, reassured for the moment. “Right, yeah. Thank you.” You give him a small smile, feeling a little bad that your anxiety keeps getting in the way of what’s supposed to be a fun day.

“Always, sweetheart.” Austin replies, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before pulling you along to the car waiting for you.

Dating a famous actor, especially as the painfully shy, decidedly not-famous person you were, wasn’t always the easiest thing. But Austin did his best to keep you out of the public eye, and the castmates and colleagues he introduced you to were always the sweetest people. Like, for example, Baz, Dacre, Luke, and Olivia, whom you were going to meet up with at Disneyland today for a celebratory “the press run is over!” hangout.

“Y/N!” Olivia squeals as you head over to meet everyone near the entrance inside the park. She rushes over to hug you, Luke and Dacre not far behind her.

“‘Wow, Austin, it’s great to see you, how are you?’ Oh I’m great, thanks for asking, guys,” your boyfriend complains jokingly as his colleagues shower you with attention.

Olivia turns to him with a playful smile, “Oh hush, I was stuck with you for two years, I hardly ever get to see them!” She punctuates her sentence with a final squeeze around your midsection, releasing you to rejoin Baz and his wife, Catherine. The two of them greet you, mischievous grins on their faces, and you soon realize why as they pass out Elvis-themed mouse ears. The pink and black ears are bedazzled and covered in pearls, with a giant gold “EP” on one ear and the iconic “TCB” lightning logo on the other.

The group gushes over them as they put them on, Austin taking the liberty of putting yours on as if he were placing a crown on your head.

“You look adorable, sweetheart,” he says with a smile, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. An “awwwwe” goes up from the group as they watch the interaction, and a heat entirely unrelated to the California sun floods your face. You’re quick to focus your attention on your shoes until the focus turns to the day’s activities, Austin pulling you close as Baz goes over the plan: find rides to go on together before the lines get too long, find food, walk around to take some pictures with characters, and there might be time for people to go off and do their own separate things before meeting back up to say goodbye at the end of the day.

You enjoy the slower paced rides: the teacups, It's A Small World, all the usual ones, but you start lagging behind a bit as the group heads towards a… very large rollercoaster. Apart from Olivia, who shoots you a slightly concerned look that you wave off with a small smile, most of the group doesn’t notice, too engrossed in the conversation they’re having. Austin, however, isn’t so easily convinced. He hangs behind to walk by your side, intertwining your fingers and saying softly, “I know you don’t really like these kinds of rides. If you want we can just hang out and go get some food or something while they go…”

You hesitate, glancing over at the rest of the group chatting excitedly. “I… I don’t want you to miss out on all this stuff just because of me—“

“If I get to spend more time with you, I’m not missing out on anything, I promise, sweetheart.” Austin assures you with a sweet smile. “Hey guys!” He calls to the group ahead of you two, “I’m kinda hungry, I’m stealing Y/N to go get some food with me. We’ll meet you guys after, okay?”

Warmth floods your chest as he draws all of the attention to him, the group waving him off with a “have fun you two!”

You squeeze his hand in thanks as the two of you turn to walk away, and he squeezes back, looking at you with a soft smile. The line at the ice cream stand he drags you over to is short enough that you’re able to enjoy the Mickey-shaped treat before it’s time to meet up with the others again.

You meet the others at the exit to the ride, Olivia yelling something about how Luke was “absolutely terrified the entire time!” — with Luke vehemently denying it — as you make your way to Café Orleans for “some real food,” as Baz had put it.

Austin is practically glued to your side throughout the meal and even afterwards as you’re making your way through the park to take pictures with characters. It’s sweet, but eventually you have to extricate yourself from him to rehydrate, going off in search of refreshments.

He sighs, slouching at a table as he awaits your return. Olivia slides into a chair near him with a smirk.

“They just went to get a drink, they’ll be back in a minute, Aus.”

Austin blushes, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, “I know, I just…” he trails off, unable to explain exactly how he’s feeling; he hasn’t felt this attached to someone in a while, but after getting to spend so much time with you since the press run ended, it’s hard for him to pull himself away.

Olivia gives him a soft, teasing smile. “Don’t worry, Aus, it’s cute how much you care about them. The two of you are honestly adorable.”

“Yeah, I…I really love them,” he says finally.

See the full post

824 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

#4

New Look | Austin Butler x reader

Request from @beardedbananaspyrascal: Hey I was thinking that you could write about Austin getting back from his first time out for Elvis and he comes back home with his black hair

Word count: 371

Warnings: a couple swear words, gets a tiny bit suggestive at the end but I think that's all. As always, let me know if there's anything I missed!

Please like/reblog if you enjoyed!

Your foot tapped anxiously against the hardwood floor as you awaited your boyfriend’s return home. He had been away prepping with Baz for his biggest role yet: Elvis, and you ached to see him again.

“I’m gonna look a little different, baby,” Austin had warned you over the phone, refusing to FaceTime you to keep his new look a surprise. 

“Well I can’t wait to see your face again, no matter what you look like,” you had replied, mind racing at the possibilities of what this “new look” could entail.

The jangle of keys at the front door jolted you out of your thoughts and you raced to the foyer to greet your boyfriend in person for the first time in what felt like forever. 

“Hey hon—“ your jaw dropped as you took in his face. Gone were his gorgeous blond waves and in their place was a clean swoop of silky jet black hair.

“Hi baby,” he said with a nervous laugh “I did, uh— I did say I’d look a little different, right?”

“I— yeah, but—“ your mind buffered as you tried to find the words. Of course you loved the blond, but you couldn’t have imagined how incredible he would look with dark hair. You stepped closer, grasping his face and pulling him in for a brief kiss, “You look amazing, honey.”

He grinned, dropping his bags carelessly on the floor as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you flush to his chest, dipping to press his lips to yours. 

“I missed you so much,” he mumbled against your lips.

“I missed you, too,” you sighed as your arms wrapped around him and your hands found their way into his new silky black locks.

He pulls back a bit, looking vulnerable. “You really think it looks okay? It’s gonna be like this for a while.”

“You look fucking gorgeous, honey, I promise.” You beam. “Now,” you grabbed his hand, “I believe you promised me you were going to make up for all the time you’ve been gone, so get over here.” You pulled him over towards your bedroom, a mischievous sparkle in your eyes.

“Lead the way, baby,” he smiled, eyes soft. “I’m all yours.”

842 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#3

Trouble | Austin Butler x fem!reader

A cast outing after filming Austin's "Trouble" performance prompts you to finally confess your feelings.

Warnings: a couple swear words, possible spoilers for Elvis (2022), but I think that's it!

“CUT!”

Baz’s voice carried throughout the stage as the scene came to a close and Austin slid out of the police car, grinning and breathing as though he had just sprinted for miles, sweat dripping down his hair onto his face, snaking its way under the collar of his shirt. He was almost immediately surrounded by extras cheering and clapping, a near replica of the raging crowd that had surrounded him in the actual scene.

You, however, were frozen near the edge of the stage, brain frantically trying to process everything that had just happened. Images of Austin on his knees in front of the audience, cupping a girl’s face, laying onstage screaming into the mic flashed across your mind, doing absolutely nothing to calm the flush on your face. You had harbored a crush on Austin since he was brought on as Elvis and his latest performance had assured you that those feelings weren’t going away anytime soon. 

You saw Austin exchanging congratulations with Tom, Richard, Helen, and Baz, praising the rest of the cast surrounding him. His eyes continued sweeping the crowd, seemingly searching for someone, when his gaze met yours across the sea of actors and crew alike. Your breath caught in your throat, unable to tear away from his icy blue gaze, and you were sure he could read every thought racing through your mind about what exactly his rendition of “Trouble” had done to you. Embarrassed, the flush in your cheeks intensified, but Austin only gave you something that looked remarkably similar to a knowing smirk, his gaze burning into you for a split second before returning his attention to the crowd around him.

You let out a shaky breath. At least this was the last scene of the day and you could go home.

Some time later you were finally out of hair and makeup, and no sooner had the thought of curling up on your couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s crossed your mind when Olivia waved you over to her car.

“Come on! We’re all going out for drinks!”

Unable to find the energy to refuse, you slipped into the car with her. She playfully nudged your shoulder as you made your way to the cast’s usual bar.

“So, that ‘Trouble’ performance, huh?”

You stiffened imperceptibly. “Yeah, it was… quite a show.” you said in the most casual tone you could manage.

Olivia rolled her eyes, “Come on, please just admit you have feelings for Austin already. You’ve been giving him serious heart eyes every time you see him, it’ll be so much easier if you just tell him.”

You blinked “Wha- Have I really been that obvious?”

“Well, to me and Natasha and everyone… yeah. Kinda. If you’re asking if Austin has noticed? I’ll have to get back to you on that one. But trust me, he definitely likes you too.”

“He definitely doesn’t, but I appreciate the vote of confidence” you replied, the tone of your voice signaling that you definitely didn’t want to talk about this anymore.

“Alright, I’m just saying,” she said “you never know what might happen.”

Your only reply was a shrug, and before you knew it the two of you had pulled up to the bar where Natasha and a few of the others had already grabbed a table. In what seemed like no time at all, the table was filled with a cacophony of laughter and eventually, thanks to Olivia, the conversation turned to the scene that was still on everyone’s minds.

“Austin, I’m sorry, but can we please talk about how incredible that ‘Trouble’ performance was?” Olivia smiled at her co-star.

He let out a shy laugh, “Well, thanks, Liv. I mean,” he gestured to the rest of the cast around the table “I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you guys.”

More people jumped into the conversation to heap their praise on Austin when Olivia spoke up again, “I’m serious, you were absolutely amazing. I know (Y/N) enjoyed it.” She nodded over to you.

You froze as the attention of everyone around the table turned to you. You knew Olivia was only trying to help, but you still wanted to sink into the floor as you mumbled “Yeah, it was, um. Seriously amazing. You did an awesome job.”

You cleared your throat, excusing yourself and pushing your chair back from the table as you made your escape out the back door into a small alley dimly lit by the few lights outside the bar.

You leaned against the brick wall of the building trying to gather yourself, but before you could do much of that, the door next to you opened and Austin stepped out into the alleyway. 

“Hey, you okay? It seemed like some of the stuff Olivia said back there kinda… got under your skin a bit.” he said, moving to lean on the section of brick wall next to you.

You shook your head. “It’s nothing, I’m fine.”

He frowned, concerned. “Hey, now. If something’s upsetting you, I’d really like to at least try to fix it.”

“Why do you care?” you huffed, not caring that you sounded like a petulant child at this point.

“Wha-“ he stammered, confused, “Why do I care? Because you’re my friend, and-“

See the full post

1,039 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

#2

Can you do a blurb where austin uses the Elvis voice against you and just the back forth of him practicing doing the voice?!!! You are doing gods work!! Ily!

Hi!! Thank you so much for requesting! Here it is, darling, I hope you enjoy!

Baby | Austin Butler x reader

Warnings: none, I think? Let me know if there’s anything I missed!

You knew your boyfriend was completely dedicated to his latest role, feeling the pressure of portraying the King of Rock and Roll. What you didn’t anticipate was exactly how good Austin would sound putting in the work to sound like Elvis.

He had been watching interviews and performances religiously and, with the help of his dialect coach, was determined to perfect that iconic Southern drawl. So, he had started using it in conversations with you. But when he noticed how it made you weak in the knees, well… he learned how to use that to his advantage.

“Babyyyy,” he whined from his spot next to you on the couch, “would you mind grabbing me a soda from the fridge real quick?”

It was one of the rare lazy days the two of you had. You were curled up on the couch together, you with your copy of Emma and Austin with his copy of What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, lounging in the living room of his place in Australia where he was currently filming. Elvis was playing softly in the background, as usual.

“You’ve got legs of your own that work perfectly fine, you can get it yourself,” you teased, nudging him with your foot.

He turned to you with those big blue puppy dog eyes he did way too well. You opened your mouth, ready to shut down whatever plea he had, when he said oh-so-slowly, “Aw c’mon, baby, please?” in that damn husky drawl he’d been working on for weeks.

You felt your face flush, and a victorious smirk crossed his face.

You immediately tried to school your face into a neutral expression. “You’re gonna have to try harder than that, Butler,” you said, returning your attention to your book.

He moved closer to you, close enough you could feel his breath on your neck. “Baby,” he crooned, his lips brushing your cheek,

“Darlin’…” his mouth moved to that sensitive spot just under your ear.

“Sweetheart…” he drawled as his lips worked a trail down your neck.

Just as you had begun to melt under his attention, he returned to the topic that had started this whole situation. “Please,” he breathed against your neck, husky Southern twang warming his voice, “grab me a soda from the fridge.”

Your half-lidded eyes flew open and you pushed yourself off the couch, face flushed. He smirked, knowing exactly what the warm Southern drawl, among other things, had done to you.

“This is just because I want to get myself a snack and I might get you a soda if I feel like it,” you insisted, rushing off to the kitchen before he could see how affected you were.

“Whatever you say, baby,” Austin called after you, still in that same drawl, “whatever you say.”

1,189 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“i can’t keep kissing strangers, pretending they’re you.” | Austin!Elvis x fem!reader

12 years ago, Elvis chose his career over you. What happens when he shows up at your door asking for a second chance?

a/n: this is entirely based on a dialogue prompt I saw from @twelvegods: “I can’t keep kissing strangers, pretending they’re you.” apparently it was a really good prompt because it inspired all 8,735 words of this lol. I I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing it <3 Thank you all again so so so much for 500 followers!!

Word count: 8.7k

Warnings: a couple swear words, lots of angst in the first half, Y/N has trust issues oops, I think that's it? As always, please let me know if I missed anything!

Please like/rb if you enjoyed! 🤍

“I’m gonna marry you someday.”

That’s what Elvis Presley had said to you when he was just 20 years old and his career was starting to take off, thanks in large part (as Elvis said) to the Colonel. And you, being the young girl in love that you were, believed him.

What a fool you were.

You managed to stay together for another year before the Colonel, his claws digging into Elvis’s heart and soul to bleed all the green he could out of him, managed to convince him that appearing single would be what was best for his career— he had to let all those screaming girls believe they had a chance with him, after all.

“Baby please,” Elvis pleaded, “this is for my career. I promise it won’t be for long. We’ll get back together, you’ll see.”

You shook your head, “No, Elvis. I’m not gonna sit around waiting for you like some damsel in distress. If you want me, keep me. But otherwise…”

You paused, waiting for him to say something. Begging, pleading, praying he would say something, that you had managed to change his mind.

When he said nothing, you exploded.

You had screamed and cried, and he had screamed and cried, and you had taken your things that had made their way into his room in Graceland and stormed out of his life for good, only pausing to give him one final sincere “I love you” before you walked out the door.

The last image you had of him (that wasn’t on a tv screen or poster) was of him standing in the foyer in Graceland, tears streaming down his face, refusing to chase after you.

You hoped that time would eventually heal your wounded heart, but apparently whoever said time heals all wounds was a fucking idiot because it was now just over a decade later and you were still as in love with Elvis Presley as you had been when you were one of the only girls in the world who knew his name.

He, evidently, didn’t feel the same.

That much was clear, at least, based on the way he was still overly flirtatious with his audience in his shows, not to mention the rumors about relationships with his movie co-stars. In his shows, before he went off to Germany, he had taken to stepping down into the audience and kissing practically every woman in the room. That alone cleared any remaining doubts from your mind that he still thought about you in any capacity, despite that little voice in the back of your head that still held out some futile, desperate hope.

You’re about to curl up on the couch with some tea and your copy of Anne of Green Gables — exactly what you need on a rainy day like today — when someone knocks on your door.

“You expecting anyone, Y/N?” your friend Annie calls from the hall. You had been living with her for about 5 years down in Louisiana, after the memories in Memphis had become too much, and you loved it.

“Nope,” You call back, wondering who on earth would be knocking on doors in this weather. “If it’s one of those door-to-door salesmen, slam it in his face again.” You suggest with a laugh.

“Will do,” comes her reply, and you can hear the smile in her voice.

You turn you attention back to your book as the door opens, and nearly spill your tea all over yourself as you hear a sultry drawl you hadn’t heard in person in over a decade.

“Hi Annie… is Y/N here?”

There’s a moment of silence where you’re sure Annie is as stunned as you are, then:

“Maybe,” she replies curtly, “What do ya want?”

Annie knew the whole story of you and Elvis, and she had sworn that she’d never let you get hurt like that ever again.

“Please, Annie, I just wanna talk to her.”

See the full post

2,003 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[jostnns]

i feel so weird rn, i made some friends on a mc server that basically just had mini games & they added me to a discord and most of them are 14-15, there’s some that are older but idk i feel weird hopping in call with people younger than me even tho it’s literally just talking about minecraft & working on a survival world together

[tittyblade]

tumblr etiquette 101

a list that is nowhere near exhaustive, from yours truly.

First off, welcome! Whether you’re a twitter veteran looking for anything but whatever twitter is, or a new user just done signing up, glad to see you in our ranks beloveds! Welcome home. Refer to this quick tour to make sure your fandom experience (or tumblr experience in general) is a positive one!

Disclaimer: I know it’s long, but please try to read or skim through til the end if you’re new here! This is by no means meant to be a rule book (for the most part lol), only a guide to help you get settled easier!

1) Your blog

This is where people will see and interact with you, so put some effort into it!

Try to choose a name (url) that’s simple. You can see it as your brand, it’s how people will perceive you and remember you. If you’d like to interact with other users here (and not use the site just for the content) it’s better to have something short and sweet, preferably without spaces. (Of course, these are only suggestions.) Rest assured, you can change it literally any time you want.

Have a theme. Utilize the tool that lets you edit your blog’s color or the font of your bio! You can make it match your profile picture, or your blog if it has a theme of its own. Make it feel homey :]

Fill in your bio. People will be checking out your profile probably more often than you think. Don’t leave it empty! Put in any information you’re comfortable with sharing and isn’t too personal (like your age if you’re a minor, or other TMI that can be found on other people’s carrds). It’s always better to add a name/nickname people can use to refer to you by, but feel free to use your blog description to shitpost still.

You can have an intro post. More often than not, you’ll see a blog have a pinned post, a post permanently appearing at the top of a blog until you pin another post or unpin it. You can make one of those, if you’d like to introduce yourself in more length, link any other socials or a carrd, and show others visiting your blog how you tag things so it’ll be easy for them to navigate. Not an obligation.

Keep your anonymity and your safety. It should go without saying, but there’s no harm in repeating it just in case. Your comfort, privacy and safety has the utmost importance. Don’t share any information you don’t want to. Don’t share your age if you’re a minor, or any other incredibly personal info. I’d encourage you to go by a nickname that’s not your real name, (blog name, your brand, remember?) since there’s safety in anonymity, and that’s lowkey one of the big deals of tumblr, but that’s up to you still.

Choose what you want to be visible. Your liked posts and who you follow are all things you can set to keep to yourself and hide from the publics eye, how handy! You should go through all the setting while you’re at it, set it to your comfort.

Side blogs are a thing. You can have multiple blogs that you can use for different things (see: different fandoms, art blog, etc) to keep them organized or away from your followers. Just remember that the replies and off-anon asks you send will be from your main blog, as well as where you follow other blogs from.

2) Interacting with others

You’ve set up your account, now comes the fun part!

Follow to your heart’s desire. If you care about others seeing who you follow, fear not! In tumblr, usually only two types of blogs keep their following visible to others: newbies, and big blogs using it to point people on other good blogs’ direction. Just turn it off, and go ham following people.

Customize your dashboard. Gonna mention just two things here: this is another reason why it’s really important that you follow blogs without sparing, your dash will collect dust otherwise; and you should turn off “best stuff first” in your dashboard settings, to have a better community here and all.

Follow tags. You can set it in your settings that posts with your followed tags appear on your dashboard.

You can check the og post for edits and context. When you see a reblogged post you don’t understand the context of (or don’t recognize the character in case of fanarts), click on the profile so it will take you to the original post. From there you can check the original poster’s tags to get the context, or see if there have been any edits made to the post, since when you edit a post it doesn’t update any past reblogs.

Send people asks... This is how you make mutuals, people! Do it off-anon if you’d like them to know your blog, or anon if you’d rather not! (You can still end your messages with a signature to show you’re the same person, -[name] is one example.) Send them nice messages, ask their opinion on something, discuss things, or just straight up shitpost lol. Go wild. The sky’s your limit and it’s definitely more than 280 characters.

...and let them ask you! You can set your preference in the settings, do it on desktop tumblr to access more settings tho! What you can customize on mobile is limited (like letting people ask you things anonymously, that’s only on desktop settings). In my personal opinion, it’s always better to tag their username (or a nickname you give them, if they’re a friend) on that post, since you wouldn’t want your interactions with your friends to get buried in your blog forever.

Comment on posts. If you have something to say but don’t want the post to appear on your blog you can add a comment. The owner of the post will get a notif for it, but for anyone else you need to tag them.

For the love of god, reblog. People will only see your liked posts if you have it visible to public and they specifically go on your blog to look at them. You like something? You reblog. It’s already hard for posts to circulate properly, if you don’t reblog them literally no one will see them. If not for anything do it for the artists. Just hold and drag on mobile to fast rb.

3) Your Posts

Finally here! Don’t be a lurker, post and engage!

Make use of “read more”. If your post is long, add it. That’s what you clicked on earlier to expand this post. On desktop leave an empty line and you’ll see three dots appear, and on mobile type :readmore: on that empty line.

Draft a post to come back to it later. Pretty self explanatory.

Queue your post. Whether it’s your own post or you’re reblogging, make use of the queue feature to a) not spam reblog and fill up the dashboard of people following you and b) keep your blog active while you’re gone. Mess around in the settings, it’s fairly easy to set up.

Schedule your post. Same as queueing, the only difference is you get to choose the exact time your post will go up. Handy if you want to schedule a post for certain dates like april fools, or 5 years in the future for some reason. 

Format your texts. You can do all kinds of fancy stuff here (that’s a link, try pressing on it). Twitter doesn’t have this, make use of it. Changes depending on whether you’re on mobile or desktop. (Desktop has less features.)

Check your stats. If you’re trying to understand the algorithm better or want to look at some pretty graphs you can get your data on that on desktop tumblr.

@ people in comments. You’ll get all the notifs when people comment on your posts but they won’t see your reply unless you tag them in your message.

4) Tags, and tagging a post

This is where my earlier statement “this isn’t a rule book” stops being applicable. It’s not a war crime to go against these, I won’t come chasing you (don’t take my word for this) but you’ll work up a bad rep. Just saying lol.

Do NOT crosstag posts. It’s really tempting to add unrelated tags to increase your posts’ interaction, I know, but that’s not what tumblr is about. Don’t be a dick and make other communities’ experience worse for them.

Always tag your posts with “crit/critical/discourse/etc” if it calls for it. There’s no exceptions to it. This is the reason you see people migrating to tumblr. Let people enjoy things.

Don’t main tag a critical/negative post. If your crit post is about “Thing”, you add the “Thing critical” tag, but not the “Thing” tag. People block crit tags if they don’t want to see it, don’t shove it in their faces by main tagging it. 

If you don’t want to see something, just block it. Another reason why people are able to survive on tumblr. You don’t start discourse, you don’t make call-outs, you block. You can find something for every community you can think of if you go looking for it. The worst of the worst probably won’t ever appear on your dash, but if you’re worried or feel the need for it, you know where the block button is.

Feel free to shitpost or ramble. More often than not you’ll see people rb a post with a comment, and their elaboration will be in the tags. The tags are only visible on your profile and the notifications of the owner of the og blog. Just a thing people do.

Reblog artists’ posts with nice comments in the tags! Commenting on a drawing is usually done through the tags (Not an obligation, again, just a thing people do. Feel free to add your comment on the rb itself if you’d want other people to see it tho!) and leave nice messages for the artists! It’s a win-win for everyone involved. 

If you have more than a single follower, always use the common tw warning tags. You don’t need to tw everything, but tw’ing some common things is the bare minimum human decency. Keep it safe for others. 

Tag a post “long post” if it’s really long. Pretty self explanatory. Don’t make people scroll through all that please lol. 

You can use them to organize your blog. This is more of a pro tip, if you’d like to not miss a post in your blog, cause they will start pilin’ up soon enough.

#Liveblogging is pretty fun. If you’d like to talk to people during streams, don’t forget to add the relevant tags still! Again, you won’t show up on people’s dash otherwise.

Whew! That got out of hand. Hopefully I didn’t bore you too much. Check out blogs like @heritageposts and @hellsite-hall-of-fame to honor our past o7. @mcytblr-hall-of-fame too maybe :eyes:. Anyways, don’t forget the most important rule of them all:

Enjoy your stay! You’re meant to have fun on here while also making friends (if that’s your thing). Just be kind and respectful of others, you’ll get the hang of the rest! <3

[sydmarch]

tumblr user sydmarch testimonials are in:

hello i’m syd! late 20s, bi, nonbinary, they/them.

no bigots & no minors (minors are fine to interact with any sfw posts just please dont follow me. i almost always check new follows & if i see you're underage you're getting softblocked it's nothing personal!)

anything with reblogs enabled is fine to rb

COMMISSION INFO

under the cut is more abt me & links to my sideblogs

mostly i just reblog whatever shit i find funny & make random personal posts (lots of them - first and foremost my blog is my silly little journal where I just post whatever I'm thinking) the only things that I consistently post abt regardless of whatever's currently holding my brain in a gorilla grip are fob, waterparks, & antiviral.

current hyperfixation: gen v

my sideblogs:

@h0spitalbedcrawl - art inspo, references & tutorials

@sidmarsh - secondary art inspo blog for things that make me think more traditional art

@scorpi0machine - fashion inspo. mostly alternative, emo, y2k, 00s, cyber

@checkthesun - weirdcore, liminal spaces, nostalgia, etc

@askgarte and @askevrart are my disco elysium ask blogs

I have a feedism blog, anyone 18+ can dm me for the url, mutuals or not

mutuals can dm me for my dream journal blog and my photo journal blog if you'd like

if i don’t follow back it’s so not personal i follow too many blogs as is & can only handle so many blogs on the dash ik the mutuals thing gets hyped up a lot on here but even if we aren’t mutuals don’t be afraid to reply to my posts dm me or w/e we can still be mutuals in spirit. if you're a regular in my notes i consider us mutuals whether i follow back or not literally i'm always happy to talk to whoever

[markets]

so twitter is here now huh

welcome! twitter is hell so glad to have you guys. im doing the same thiing everyone else is doing, tumblr advice for new people under the cut, if you dont feel like reading it all the most important things are in bold (click keep reading):

- since its relevant, if a post is very long use one of those things ^ so that its more comfortable for people scrolling! its the one on the right below. theres no character limit on here so please use this when necessary lol

- reblogging stuff you like is important, especially art and writing! thats really the only way to push content on here and the like to rb ratio on mcytblr tends to be terrible so its very appreciated. if you REALLY like it you can leave nice comments in the reply section or in the tags as well! people appreciate them a lot :] if you want to rb something but dont want it appearing on your blog right now, theres a little arrow next to the post button and if you click on it, you’ll get the option to queue the post, meaning it appears on your blog later (you can adjust exactly when in the queue settings, found under the little profile icon)

- you can choose how private you want to be. ive seen so many people be like “dont say your name. dont say your age. dont make an intro post.” or “put your entire medical history in your carrd” but i feel like you can choose how you want to present yourself on here! you dont have to say anything about yourself if you want, or you can make a fun intro post/carrd with the things you like, or you can just say your name (or moniker), whether youre a minor or not, and pronouns, or anything else! its up to you, and here you dont really have to worry about getting doxxed so. obviously dont give out your address or anything but yeah :]

- ^kind of going off what i just said, if you want friends on here, you can make an intro/looking for mutuals post and put your interests in the tag section! thats how i found lots of my mutuals. honestly just use the tags in general, because its the only way to get your posts out there other than rbs and its much better than speaking into the void. dont put tags unrelated to the post itself though, people dont really like it. tumblr prioritizes the first 5 tags on a post ive heard, so be mindful of that, especially if youre an artist or writer!

- on the subject of tags, if youre going to critique a dsmp character, feel free to do so, just tag it appropriately! for example, if youre making a post that criticizes c!philza, tag it as #c!philza critical. also, please dont tag dsmp/mcyt posts as mine//craft or mine//blr (censoring it so it doesnt appear in the search), people who just want to hear about the game dont appreciate it. also, please dont tag or1gin smp (censoring again) for posts about the hybrid smp with tommy, ranboo, tubbo, etc because an active fandom already uses that tag, use osmp instead :]

- discourse isnt really common on here, but if youre going to talk about it, tag it as #discourse so that people can blacklist it. oh yeah i forgot to talk about that, you can blacklist tags in settings, which is great for triggers or anything you just dont want to see. id suggest blacklisting all forms of whatever the tag is (for example, dont just blacklist #tw gore, blacklist #gore tw, #gore cw, #cw gore, and #gore as well). lots of blogs (like mine) operate on an ask to tag basis, meaning that if you send them an ask asking to tag a specific thing, they will!

- speaking of asks, people love them! ive never met someone who doesnt like getting an ask, regardless of how random it is. if you like someones content or want to be their friend, feel free to send an ask, anonymous or not! i think this goes without saying but just in case, sending anon hate is heavily frowned upon, its kind of a pussy move as well tbh so dont do it

- other than the occasional weirdo mcytblr/dsmpblr is pretty chill, so try not to start fights in main tags for no reason lol please i dont want to have to migrate to linkedin or some shit. if you see something you dont like, the best move is to just block them and move on. literally just block anyone you dont like itll make everything so much more pleasant i promise. however if you do want to start a fight my asks are always open <3333

overall, just dont be an asshole and have fun!! here are some blogs id recommend following: 

mine lol pls give me clout, @relaxxationattack, @cyani07, @night-and-dae, @otteritos, @esclapo, @periwinklemoonlight, @minecraftsz, @timedeo, @poorlydrawndsmp, @tittybitch, @lnniter​​, @girlbossinnit,​ @trickszie​ (if youre on here we’re mutuals and/or i think you’re really cool so hiiii)

[maxemilianverstappen]

Lol, both the admins are acting like they are using their personal accounts, this is so funny and embarrassing, like what the fuck are you thinking before typing any of that out??

And while there are people who are calling it out, there are also fans who are literally saying it's the admin's job to be uWu, like no honey it's not, their job is to maintain good PR for the team and THEIR drivers, something they have forgotten... I have seen them talk about Seb with Lewis and Mick this season more than I have seen them talk about Seb & Lance, and Lance in general. Like please focus on your drivers, the fans of the team are here for them. And while Merc admin can still get away with the cringe because at least the Mercedes has good results this season so the focus shifts on the on track performance, the AM admin is just making the situation worse for the team... A team everyone expected to be fighting for wins this year, has dropped to 7th in the pecking order, there are no results to show for anything the drivers are doing, and you lit are going around engaging in uWu bestie Sewis nonsense, who is going to take the team seriously? Your PR in a competitive sport is supposed to make you look ambitious, and they are celebrating being overtaken, like I understand a post race congratulatory comment under another team's post, but why are you focussed on another driver's race?

Also funny, that Lewis/Sewis fans are busy defending all the nonsense from yesterday, like besties stop, if they had crashed you lot would be asking for Seb's head, regardless of whether it was his fault or not, you're not fooling anyone.

Motherfuckers flip-flop on Yuki so much, it's disgusting to watch, everytime they have to slander RB, they use Yuki for it, and then when Yuki defended against Lewis at COTA they started attacking him saying he was showing his true colours, because he raced Lewis lmao, and then the same people/accounts went back to give him moral support last week, I mean why are you all so shallow... choose one narrative and run with please

Anon, whoever you are I don't know, but since you have the higher brain power than me for putting what I feel into words, I want you to know that you have an admirer.

Good PR, joking around and having a bit of fun is one thing, blatantly ignoring your other drivers inorder to milk a ship/nonexistent friendship (ahahahaha) by using the social media of a corporation playing with millions is another.

True, some fans like this stuff and I am one of them when it is done in moderation, it is nice, but..... But.... 🙄🙄🙄 What the fuck was this?

Why the fuck are these ppl even racing? To certify they are actually a Merc sidekick? To get discount in the new engines? Do they remember they are talking about a 4 times WDC who used to be a rival to the other driver they are so in love with? Whose fans and British media used to tear him down at every given chance including the said driver himself... LoL, how the turn tables when you stop being a threat and the new spot you find yourself in reduces you to a part of a ship instead of a rival so that PR can milk money 🤑🤑🤑

Also, since when it is okay to make sexual innuendos on official accounts?

I'm a shipper, but pleeeeease.... This kinda shit needs to be kept in fannish spaces not get promoted by official accounts that might draw attention on us. You should see all the replies to the last tweet asking about what a "s*ewis" is and where does it come from 😬

And yes, I would be cringed if it was done on Simi, too... Subtle bromance stuff is nice, but this kind of stuff has its own time and place.

[theveil-and-thepath]

Hi.

Idk if you are taking asks. If you aren't then feel free to ignore this.

The thing is, I started my Master's course and I suck at everything. Literally everything. Except maybe English as a language.

It's very frustrating. And I don't know if I will be able to do anything. Or build a career. Or earn. Lol.

I'm sorry about the rant. Things have been new and strange and incompetence is not something that I am used to.

@ Anyone who sees this post and has some advice: please rb and add to it, share your experience with the feeling of incompetence in academia. (long reply ahead 2000+ words, the last 4 paragraphs are the reading)

Feedback for this reading

Hi, dear! In undergrad, while other students were struggling to keep their head above water, you were swimming and trying to be the fastest; now, for the first time, you’re afraid you’re going to drown. I’m going to reply with some advice from myself first (tarot below the cut, you can skip and go there) and have in mind that you just started your master’s.

Well, this feeling can come back many times before you earn this degree, so it’s good to learn how to deal with it early on. The first thing is: look for the mental health department of your university and use all of the services they provide. Do it before you freak out. If, during your master’s, you feel you’re just too anxious and can’t deal with it, even with therapy, don’t be hesitant to seek medication. It can be natural things or allopathic medication, together with trying to have the healthiest life you can. Don't hesitate to ask for medication (for real), it can make a huge difference, it can be the difference between lying on the sofa unable to get up for class and being able to at least do the dishes or open your dissertation or being able to open and read your emails. The second thing: make colleagues and ask people more senior than you about professors and supervisors. Don’t go for the super star supervisor who’s in fact an ass**** and will humiliate you or belittle you. It’s rare, but some departments are the home of some really arrogant people who won’t help you at all, so be aware of who these people are, learn the department gossip if you can. The third thing: ask for help. You may feel dumb and less knowledgble than the first year undergrad who just learned a new method or read an author, but if you didn’t and you don’t know what they are talking about, ask for help. Ask for a book to read, google as if you knew nothing, write down and google the concept you didn’t know, ask for how to spell a name (i felt so embarrassed that i barely did that), go around and find out even if this is checking basic maths again. Your undergrad materials are your friends. Go back to your past self because I’m sure they wrote some helpful things in these notebooks. If your master’s is in a different area than your undergrad, go check undergrad textbooks about what you need to learn. In fact, check undergrad textbooks to write your dissertation and make sure you got the basic correct if you want.

Now for the real deal. Not everyone is as smart as they seem. Knowing the right reference, having read the material beforehand, being skilled in speech and writing, all help for someone to seem like the smartest person in the room. You don’t have to be the smartest one in the room. You have to be the one who’s learning the most and making the best use of the input you get and you must be able to do a decent dissertation and graduate. Ultimately, it’s your dissertation and your specific field of study that will get you into a PhD and academic career, if you don’t want an academic career then you should worry even less about any of that stuff, if at all. The day you go teach something you’ll prepare for it, you’ll prepare a class, you won’t know everything. You need to be able to learn and teach in an organised manner, but you won’t know the details beforehand unless you’re teaching your own specific field of study. Students will ask smart questions to which you don’t have the answers, and that improvisation that you once did during an exam with open ended questions you’ll have to do in front of the classroom, and you’ll say what you know, acknowledge what you don’t and come back next week with an answer. Furthermore, not all questions have answers. By now you know that an “answer” can be a long digression of many possible scenarios and approaches from different authors. If you’re in stem, then you’ll do a similar thing, but one thing is common: you need to cover the basics. Now, you may not need to pay attention to every class you’re taking because they may not be useful for your dissertation, but try your best to grasp the basics and learn what you can. You will get used to the classes and learn what you can. Feeling dumb at first (or even in the end if I’m honest) is a sign you found your growth zone. You don’t need to fill it all and be like other people, but expand your knowledge as much as you can without damaging your health. It’s hard because it’s a moment when you feel everyone will point at you and say “oh, but weren’t you a smart ass? ofc you know this! you were the best, if you didn’t learn that then it’s a problem of your university. don’t they teach you this and that? how come you don’t know so and so? how did you get in?oh, don’t worry, you're smart, you’ll learn that with time, just keep working hard.” In a way, it feels like your pride is hurt and the foundation of your being is being destroyed. But you rise up from the ashes, that’s the challenge.

One point I want to make here is that sometimes impostor syndrome has a "real basis". It can happen that when you seek therapy they’ll treat you for this and make you see your potential and skill. But one thing people have failed in my life was recognize that I can be correct when assessing my own limitations and this is not me being a victim of impostor syndrome. Sometimes, you’re EXCELLENT, a GENIUS on your own, but it may still not be enough for what you want to accomplish and you may, in that situation, win as a person and win on the long run, but be defeated in the short run. There’s always a moment of genuine distress when you actually don’t know the thing, you actually don’t think you can do it, or you believe, you study, you manifest, you do your best and it’s not enough. I won’t tell you: work hard and believe in yourself, manifest and it will happen. I won’t fool you, because both of us know that you can do everything right and “fail” nonetheless. Sometimes, you don’t get the funding and you’re just as smart as the one who got it, sometimes you fail even when you do your best. However, sometimes you don’t! If you do nothing you get nothing, if you try your best you’ll get something. You’re into the program already, now you’ll do your best to expand your knowledge and overcome the personal challenge of dealing with growth and challenges and your own weaker spots. This can be painful af, so well I advise you to be close to people who love and support you, even if you don’t believe when they say “the top university will hire you asap” because you know the requirement in terms of publications, you know your limitations, you know you’re not as smart as you look like. BUT YOU’RE SMART AND YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THIS, YOU CAN OVERCOME YOUR CHALLENGES AND BE PROUD OF IT, YOU ARE CAPABLE OF DOING YOUR BEST.

There may be a moment in which you may question your very own skill of reading and writing (and spreaking), if you can make two words come together at all! The moment you’ll doubt if you know “english as a language”. Well, what you know will have to serve you and you’ll work your way around that somehow. It’s different for everyone. But one thing I’m sure of is you should have as much support as you can get, from family, friends, therapy, sports, religion, fiction, anything. Because on top of feeling incompetent, sometimes people come and challenge our things, you can feel bad because of the critics during a conference, feel awful at the comments from reviwers, there will be moments when this feeling of incompetence is pushed to the limit. This happens if you don’t go for academic career as well, your boss and colleagues, critics and challenges overall (+ some people have no tact and are rude). So the key now is to learn how to deal with this new feeling of incompetence. You are not incompetent, and you wouldn’t be even if you hadn’t got into that master’s!!!

Will you get a career? Will you earn? Will you get tenure? Will you get into a PhD program just as good as your master’s? Will you ever publish at such and such journal? Will your work ever be recognized? Will you want to go through a PhD after struggling with a masters? Honestly, I don’t know, but very likely you will. These will change after every new book you read, every new topic you learn, every new assignment you do, every presentation, every group assignment, after meeting new people, after going to places, after trying and learning, after being rejected by all reviewers, after failing and getting up again. The more you work, the better your chances, and if you don’t get the spot you dream of, I can say we never know where life is leading us, what people we’re meant to meet, what we can experience. The smart person you are still exists and will never die, you’ll learn how to swim in this new sea, and if you don’t like the water there are plenty of water bodies out there to try. I know this is not the most reassuring message, but there’s never the guarantee of success as you see it. And you need to respect your body and your mind, the time you take to breathe because if you hold your breath for too long you won’t be able to swim and die anyway, even if you didn’t drown. You may get messages like there will be struggles but you’ll get it in the end, but remember that sometimes new routes await you and the knowledge you have will serve you perfectly well.

Now, after I vented myself, I’ll ask tarot: how can you overcome this struggle with this feeling of incompetence?

Your best asset, your challenge, the best approach: three of pentacles, the high priestess, strength.

It seems very fitting, your best asset is working and seeking help from people you know. In a master’s it can be the afternoon you spend preparing with a friend for an exam, you turning on the “learning mode” and reading a book with an open heart without the feeling of incompetence get into the learning, it’s open your mind for new knowledge, it’s have 4 books open on the table, 6 pdfs, one document you’re writing and write two sentences a day, it’s solving part of the equation and stopping to have coffee and feel stuck looking for a way out without panicking. I’m sure there was at least one academic challenge you overcame in undergrad, remember that, summon up that learning and fighting mode because it’s what you have to work around your current challenges. Regardless of the results, you can try to get to that mode again.

Your challenge here is the high priestess. She’s smart, she speaks only when requested, she knows mysteries, she picks her battles. You need to be at peace with yourself alone, master introspection in a way you let emotions flow but don’t let them get the best of you. For me it’s also that moment of deep thought when you stare at a paragraph or an equation, when you look at your code that is not running properly, the spread sheet that has a mistake, and you have to try to stay calm and muster all the knowledge or ask for inspiration on how to crack the mystery, how to get out. This is a specific moment in the learning process, especially important if you need to find a new approach for your dissertation. This is your challenge, learn how to deal with this moment or even get to this moment (when we’re feeling incompetent it’s nearly impossible to even work to the point where you stop and thnk without dispair). Make sure your mental health is in check for this, anxiety won’t help here and this is a serious matter. Learn smart too. If it was a mention of an author or method who made you feel extra dumb, but said author is not very important to you, don’t bother. Go work on what you need to pass and what will help your dissertation and your own particular field. Learn new things obviously, but work as smart as you can because nobody has time to know it all.

The best approach is the strength card. Perseverance. Extra cliché for my liking but true nonetheless. It also speaks about finding balance between mind and heart, your brain taming your emotions, taming your negative thoughts and direct that impulse and strength to what is worth it: learning what you can, one step at a time, and do it smart and pick only what’s most helpful to you. Tame yourself, check your health, practice a sport, go to therapy, read books, keep yourself alive and feeling confident enough to advance. You can’t tame a lion, ever, but you can try to be his friend and let him work with you. Do this with your emotions and it can lead you far in life.

That was it for the reading. I’m sorry if my personal vent was unrequested, but I feel strongly about this topic. I wish you all of the best in this world, that you can feel divine guidance when your life seems lost and find the strength you have within yourself. You need to believe when your friends say good things about you, because you’re much stronger than you think, and life will only make you stronger, dear.

[wondernus]

hello, i have a question ^^ for (your) smaus, especially completed ones, what’s the best way for readers to show appreciation for the work? or if it varies from cc to cc, what do you personally appreciate the most?

like do you like it when a reader likes each chapter as they go through the series, or maybe not like everything but just whichever chapters they found good, or reblog chapters they like?? or like/reblog the last chapter? djjxakkdks sorry does that make sense 😭 i just dont wanna spam a cc with likes

omg hi anon 🥺

I honestly never post anything with any intention. I just like writing + I started posting because I'm very shy hehe. so this means every time I receive or any type of interaction it always warms my heart and I appreciate them all. I literally do not care about which way readers show appreciation!

I know that a lot of people may be shy so even a like is hard for them. but because I was able to interact with those who commented and sent me messages, I honestly became more confident as a person (I would literally be SHAKING while replying to a message). now I love interacting with other people so I really like it when people comment or rb with tags because I know exactly how people are reacting to my writing (+ some of them are seriously unhinged. it's so funny). some people also take their time to drop a message in my ask and I always feel bad because I feel like I always reply with the same message (i'm an aquarius so please forgive me. i'm not good w/ feelings) but I love them all. I had people tell me about some of my works affected them in a positive way or on an emotional level and I shit you not - tears. actual tears.

so I guess any type of interaction works! if you want to spam, then go for it. if you're not comfortable with liking chapters, then liking the series masterlist or a written work would mean the world to me 💗

ς(>‿<.)

[indecentpause]

!!! full disclosure that "rb to get a question" post is eating me alive and i will Not get to everyone but I READ THAT POWERPOINT FOR YOUR SHERLOCK STORY BEFORE AND ITS REALLY REALLY COOL so please tell me your favourite parts about it (and also perhaps add me to the taglist? pretty pleaseeee)

AAAAA I didn't even realize it had had so many reblogs until someone reblogged it from me and pointed out how busy your post had gotten. I'm sorry!! Thank you for even replying though, I figured I'd get lost in the shuffle but it means a lot to me that you remembered one of my projects enough to want to ask about it! But to anyone reading this if you reblog it from me I will try to think of a question for you :p

cw: off page explosion, mention of domestic abuse, stalker mention, panic attack

So my favorite part about the Sherlock story (The Most Beautiful Puzzle) is a scene that happens later, that I have written but haven't gotten to in chronological time yet.

Josselin is terrified of fire, fireworks, thunder, any kind of explosion or thing that sounds like an explosion, because his mom died in an explosion and the resulting fire when he was thirteen, and he saw the building go down and his mom never come out. So this is a HUGE trigger for him.

At one point, during a storm, there's a surge and a scary boom and the power shorts. Josselin screams and Meara's like oh shit what's going on???? This is where Josselin starts to catch Feelings, uh oh!! Because while he's polyamorous, and he and Frankie are in an open relationship, Josselin's like "BUT I CAN'T HE'S MY ROOMMATE" (oh my god they were roommates), what if Meara doesn't like him back. What if Meara freaks out. What if they try it and it fails and then they still have to live together. Meara's recovering from an abusive ex-relationship and is still dealing with a stalker and Josselin doesn't feel like it's right to say anything, because Meara's in such a vulnerable position. Josselin doesn't want him to leave for practical reasons as well as emotional ones, because he needs the help paying the rent. And this all happens from Meara's POV and he doesn't quite Get It because Josselin is incredibly difficult to read in general, and Meara's not good at reading others to begin with.

and I'm just going to go ahead and put the inciting scene behind a readmore :)

And I will HAPPILY add you to my tag list! I haven't been super active on it recently but sometimes I still shitpost and post moodboards and stuff :) And I'm hoping to use NaNo as a boost to get moving, and hopefully finish chapter three!

Puzzle taglist because excerpt: @ohsugarfoot @abalonetea @only-book-lovers-left-alive @poore-choice-of-words @leadhelmetcosmonaut @jasperygrace @drippingmoon @chaotic-queer-disaster @viskafrer

You’re in your room wrapped up in a blanket, playing on your phone, so just in case the power short circuits in the storm, you don’t have to worry about a power surge to your computer.

You expect heavy rain and lightning and thunder, but you do not expect something to literally explode outside, so big that sparks fly past your second story window. You also do not expect Josselin to scream.

You jump up, tripping over the blanket as you unravel yourself. But you manage to right yourself before you fall, and you stumble out of your bedroom, gripping your phone tight.

Everything is dark.

“Josselin?”

Nothing.

“Josselin!”

It takes moments to run the rest of the way to his room. Oh, god, were his windows open? Did he get hit by some debris?

The ‘knock before entering’ rule completely slips your mind. The door is open so you rush inside to see Josselin curled up in a thick blue blanket, sobbing quietly.

“Josselin, hey.” You keep your voice soft and gentle and unnaccusing, because it’s not like it’s his fault this happened. You take a few steps closer and ask, “Can I sit by you on the bed?”

Josselin’s sobs quickly spiral out of control, and soon, he’s so loud people can probably hear him in the street.

“Josselin?” you urge gently. What the hell is happening? “Josselin, are you hurt?”

It takes a few moments, but finally, he nods, and without waiting for an invitation, you sit down beside him and try to lean into his view without touching him. You don’t want to upset him more.

“Where are you hurt?” you continue.

He shakes his head wildly and lets out a particularly loud gasp, wiping at his nose with the back of his wrist. “I’m okay,” he sobs.

“You’re not, and it’s okay not to be okay,” you say. “Can I touch your shoulder or would that make it worse?”

And before you can weasel an answer out of him, he collapses against you, nearly crawling into your lap. For just a moment, you freeze, but he’s so upset, and you’re the only one here, and he’s your friend. So you take the edges of the weighted blanket and wrap it around both of you. Josselin curls up as much as he can, burying his face in your shirt as he continues to cry.

So you do everything you can.

You stay there, with your arms around him, whispering comforting nonsense and giving him time to find what he needs to say.

You don’t know how much time passes before Josselin calms down enough to speak.

“Sorry,” he whispers. He pulls away and dabs at the tear streaks he left on your shirt, as if trying to dry them. You shake your head.

“Don’t apologize. We all have triggers. It’s okay.”

Josselin looks at you with wide, tearful, frightened eyes. You make eye contact for a brief moment before it becomes too much for both of you, and you turn your eyes to his left ear, and he turns his to your hand on your knee.

“What happened?” you ask.

Josselin shakes his head.

“Don’t want to talk about it?”

He shakes his head again. A flash of thunder and a boom of lighting, and he jumps again, but doesn’t cry.

“Okay,” you say.

A long, long, awkward pause.

“Do you want to listen to some music?”

A halfhearted shrug. Your arm around his shoulders tightens instinctively, and he leans a little closer, lowering his head, like he’s hiding.

So you open your phone, switch from wifi to data, and look for something to listen to on youtube.

Josselin stifles a half-laugh, half-sob when the Spanish version of the Hercules opening begins, soft and tinny in the quiet room.

Neither of you speaks for quite some time, content to listen to the music in relative silence, with only the storm in the background. Finally, when the playlist is almost done, Josselin nudges his nose against your shoulder like a sad cat. As he pulls away from you, he murmurs, “Thank you, Meara. Really.”

“Of course,” you whisper back. “You’re my friend.”

Josselin smiles weakly and his nose and ears turn bright pink. He looks away.

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

Chapter Five. Missed You

the scene is set in 1956, a young man moved to Hollywood to follow his dreams of becoming an actor. But with little money and a struggle to keep his apartment, he is approached by a man who offers him a job at Sweetland.

a/n: hopefully this will mend your hearts from the last chapter! this chapter is dedicated to my best friend ira @stylesloveclub who is quite literally my real life Frances, ily :’)

SERIES MASTERLIST | JOIN THE TAGLIST chapter word count: 9.2k

warnings: biphobia, y/n going tf off, and fluff

LETS TALK ABOUT CN! let me know your thoughts!

pls rb to share! <3

It’s been a while since you ever felt happy again. 

You missed the way you would laugh with your friends freely, or the way you feel yourself blush, making the corners of your lips turn up into a smile. But ever since that day, something inside of you switched. 

Ever since that day, you weren’t the same person anymore. You held so much pain and anger inside of your heart that there couldn’t have possibly been anyone to switch that back to your normal, besides one person of course. 

But the pain and anger wasn’t just from that one day; it was the built up emotions you kept inside of you for years causing you to lash out, and that day was the last straw. 

A week after that horrid day, you were able to get out of bed as you left your ruffled warm sheets and tear damped pillowcases. Frances and Alice had told the staff you weren’t feeling well that entire week, and luckily they understood and were able to find a replacement for your class. 

You didn’t get out of your room until everyone in the house had left in the morning, which was about eight a.m, and you were locked away in your room before they were able to see you as they arrived home. You really didn’t want to see anyone; the presence of any other breathing soul was out of your favor during that week as you just wanted to wallow your way through the days. 

You figured, after that week, that you needed to get back to work. It wasn’t like you to be so in your feelings and to practically stay in bed for an entire week, but the pain was so very different from anything else you’ve ever felt. You missed him dearly, that’s a given. And if you couldn’t be with him, then you were fine with just being friends. His presence around you is what you really wanted; you just needed him to be around, but you couldn’t get into contact with him--it was like he fell on the face of the earth. 

On your first day back, you had a morning class as did Frances, so she wanted to pick you up and get coffee before you both headed to work. Alice had a class later that day, so it was just the two of you. But you enjoyed spending time with them individually. 

“Hey, doll! Hop in,” Frances smiled, tapping the leather seat beside her, and you got into her lavender Chevrolet convertible. 

“Thanks for picking me up,” you said softly, looking at her. She smiled, turning your head to look at you, and finding such a heartbroken woman who desperately needed some sleep from the heartache and exhaustion. 

“Anything for you,” she said back, grabbing your hand as she drove. 

Frances had picked you up an hour earlier than when classes began, wanting to just talk and listen to you, and if you didn’t want to do either, she just wanted to keep you company, wanting to be there for you.

The car was parked on the curb in front of the coffeehouse, which was around the corner from the studio. As you walked in, you were met with the aroma of fresh brewed coffee; the scent filled your senses as you felt as if you were in a cabin in front of the fire on a cold day. It was definitely not a cold day as you wore black shorts that stopped mid thigh and a cropped black t-shirt; Frances was wearing the same, but she wore white shorts and a baby purple cropped tee, and you loved how much she loved the color lavender. 

“Go find us a table,” she said, insisting on paying for the coffee. The coffeehouse wasn’t that packed—a few people working as they wrote or read the newspaper. 

You found a seat next to the window on the side of the shop, and waited for your hot drink as you watched the sun proceed to get brighter and brighter as the minutes went by, and you were too distracted to notice Frances sitting in front of you, drinking her coffee, and you assumed she might’ve been sitting in front of you for a while. 

“Thank you for the coffee,” you said, picking the hot drink up and blowing on it for it to cool down. 

“Of course.” 

It was completely silent between you two as you both drank your coffees and enjoyed the comfortable silence. It was times like these where you appreciated Frances. Without a doubt you love your little group, but when the three of you are together, it can be very chaotic—fun but chaotic to the point where you’re a bit overwhelmed. But with Frances, you were able to be comfortable in just sitting across from one another without saying a word. She knew how to have fun agreeably, but she knew how to be that friend that let you take your time or to simply just keep you company when you’re feeling lonely. 

After a while, you looked at her, and she was already looking at you, but her eyes perked up and she had a bright smile on her face. 

“Thank you again, doll-”

“You need to stop thanking me,” she giggled, causing the corners of your mouth to turn up slightly. 

“I mean it though. I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done—Alice too. You always call me to see if I’m fine, and you picked me up, like that’s so sweet of you,” you said, tears welling up in your eyes. She reached her hand across the table to hold yours. 

“Of course, I’m gonna be here for you. We’re best friends—have been for years now. And you’ve been through a lot. It’s time we hold some of the weight for you,” she said with a small nod. Her words caused the tears in your eyes to fall, like they triggered them to flow as they pleased because you’ve been wanting to hear those words for a long while now. 

“You’re the best. I’m so thankful for you,” you said as you tried to contain your sobs. Frances got up from her seat and walked over to your side as you scored to the seat next to you so she could sit on the seat you were in prior. 

She hugged you into her chest as you quietly sobbed into her neck while she soothed your back to comfort you. To outsiders, they were probably thinking how early it is for a breakdown, and you agreed, it was too early. However, you were in a bubble with your greatest friend as she was combing through your hair, comforting you through your greatest pain, and the outside world meant nothing at the moment. 

It was 10 minutes before class started when you and Frances entered the studio the week after locking yourself up; Susan greeted you with a big smile as Frances said she’ll see you after class and walked down the opposite hallway. 

“Welcome back, lady,” she had said with bright eyes. You softly smiled at her, immediately regretted agreeing to any social interaction--not that Susan wasn’t the sweetest person you’ve met, but you were still broken and sad. 

“Hi, Susan,” you said to her as a pained smile on your face as you walked by her desk. But before you walked any further down the hall to your class, you backed up slightly to stand next to the reception desk. Her brows raised, waiting for you to speak. “Uh, did I happen to get any calls while I was away? Did someone call for me?” You asked warily, not knowing what answer you wanted to hear. 

“Nope. No calls were made for you. It was a pretty slow week,” she replied back, her usual smile on her face. Your heart sank a little, hoping a certain someone would have called you. 

“Tell me about it,” you had muttered under your breath. “Thank you though,” you spoke directly to her before you walked away. 

And it was like that for the longest time; you asking Susan if you had gotten any calls after each class and her saying no. You figured she had caught on a bit from your constant asking, but it was a bit upsetting to hear that no every single time. You just wanted a single call from him; to ask him if he was okay, where he’s been, and to simply just hear his voice. 

The voice that had brought you immediate comfort and ease from your crazy and busy life. The sound that was music to your ears when he laughed or talked to you in his deep sultry voice. And you just wanted him to tell you that he was okay. You could practically hear his voice in your head as if it were the only sound you memorized. The way he said ‘sweet girl’ was like the line in a song that you would  repeat over and over again because it just gave you ultimate chills. 

You heard so crisp and so clearly; he would say ‘sweet girl, I’m doing okay. Don’t worry about me.’ But you couldn’t help but worry about him. 

You missed your honey dearly. 

And you continued missing him. 

Up until now, you hadn’t stopped thinking about him. Six months later, there was just something about him that never left your mind and especially your heart. The hole in your chest was enough to explain to yourself how you felt, and it wasn’t normal to feel this way. 

“Hey! I know you’re in your feelings at the moment, but would you please sing along with us?” Alice asked from the seat next to you as you heard Frances mutter a ‘please’ from the backseat. 

You three were on your way to San Diego for a little trip girls trip. Although it was January and the weather would most likely be cold, you three were still on break as the studio hadn’t resumed classes just yet because of the holiday. But they would be back on next week, so you three wanted to have a mini getaway for a little bit before you have to go back to reality. 

“Okay, okay,” you playfully rolled your eyes at them as they saw your little gesture through your sunglasses. 

The three of you sang along to Elvis as you drove to San Diego. It was still quite sunny despite the month being January, but the air was crisp and cool. Cold enough so you could wear a sweater and some pants since California cold is cold to Californians. 

The drive was about a four hour drive from Beverly Hills, and you three stayed at a hotel walking distance from La Jolla beach. The trip was only three days because what’s really there to do besides go to the beach everyday, especially when it was cold out. 

“Okay, dolls, are we ready to go?” Alice asked you and Frances as you all settled into the hotel. You two nodded excitedly, grabbing your towels and blankets before heading out of the hotel and to the beach. 

You all figured out that the water was way too cold for a swim, but the sun was bright still as you three sat on your towels, all facing each other. You had bought some fruit for a little market that was on the way to the beach. 

“Think we picked a good spot--so many cute people around,” Frances said. You looked around to observe some of the men and women that were relaxing on the sand or in their swimsuits. You nodded in agreement as you took a bite out of your watermelon slice. 

“Ooh! I think that lady is looking at you doll,” Alice said excitedly. You looked at her and she pointed her head to the direction of the woman, and you turned your head slowly to find a beautiful woman in her swimsuit, smiling and waving at you. Politely, you smiled back at her. 

“Are you going to go talk to her?” Frances asked, and you shrugged. 

You knew that they were just trying to help the heartache in your chest that has been mending for the last six months. But if you still felt the same amount of pain as you did six months ago, you weren’t quite ready to move on yet. 

“Think you need that, doll. How are you gonna move on if the only people you really socialize with are us two?” Alice said, and she had a point. It was difficult to move past everything because you’ve locked yourself away and only limited yourself to some social interaction with people you already know. “It’ll be a nice change. And if you don’t want to talk to her, then come back here and you could talk to us! At least you tried,” Alice reassured you, and Frances nodded alongside her. 

You smiled softly at the both of them, and slowly nodded. You at least wanted to try, and being somewhere that’s four hours away from your home was a nice start. Handing your fruit to Frances, not wanting your fruit to get a sand flavor, and you got up. Your girls cheered you on, yelling out ‘that’s the spirit!’ and ‘so proud of you, doll’ as you slowly walked over to the woman who was sitting in her beach chair.

“Hi,” you nervously said to the woman. 

“Hey, cutie. Was just looking at you,” she complimented with a smirk, looking up at you. 

“Uh, yeah. My friends told me,” you said, turning around to point to them. But you also turned around just to see their reassuring smiles because you were actually quite nervous. And when you saw them beaming, giving you a thumbs up, you turned back around. 

“Well, would you like to sit?” She offered, and you said a soft ‘okay’ before sitting down on the towel in front of her, practically at her feet. “I’m Catherine, by the way,” she said, sticking her hand out. She looked a bit older than you--probably in her late twenties. She had beautiful blonde hair that was put in a high ponytail as she wore a cream colored two piece swimsuit. 

“Nice to meet you,” you said, shaking her hand as you told her your name. 

“Such a beautiful name for you,” she winked at you, flirting with you slightly. 

For the next thirty minutes, you and Catherine got to know one another, and you thought she was nice; she was very friendly, often stealing some innocent touches to your shoulder or your arm as she laughed about god knows what you said. 

Suddenly, someone walked under the umbrella and Catherine handed the other woman a towel before she sat down on the beach chair next to Catherine’s. They smiled at each other, and you looked between them; a silence fell through you as they talked. 

“The water felt great,” the woman said, and Catherine smiled, roaming her hand on the woman’s arm as she did to you. 

“Oh, by the way. This is Milly, my girlfriend,” Catherine introduced. Your eyes widened, feeling shocked as she didn’t mention that she had a girlfriend when she was flirting with you and touching your arm. 

“Hi, uhm, I should get back to my friends then,” you stood up from your crouch position, dusting your bottom off from the sand that had gotten on the towel. 

“Wait, we actually want you to stay,” Milly said before you had a chance to walk away. “Catherine and I are together, but we were curious about exploring with another partner, and we both saw you sit with your friends, and thought you were absolutely gorgeous,” she explained. 

You blushed, a bit flustered from what she said. You’ve never explored with two partners before, and you were curious as to how that’ll go down. But in total honesty, you weren’t feeling it. 

“That’s nice of you, thank you for choosing me, I guess?” You chuckled, cursing at yourself for how dumb that sounded. “But to be honest, I’m a bit heartbroken at the moment, so I’m not in the mood,” you said honestly. 

“Oh no, how could some girl break your heart?” Catherine said, assuming that it was a girl that got you sad. 

“I-It wasn’t a girl, actually. It was a guy,” you corrected. Catherine and Milly looked at each other confusingly, and soon after Milly scoffed. 

“Wait, so you don’t like girls?” Milly asked, needing some sort of confirmation. 

“I do! I like men and women. I’m bisexual,” you said, crossing your arms in defense, feeling like this was all going to end badly. 

“You like both...” Catherine said shockingly and you nodded as you took deep breaths. You tried keeping yourself together, not wanting to make a scene at the beach as everyone was minding their own business, as you looked at them with a stern look. 

“So you just couldn’t choose,” Milly said. You gave her a scowl look, furrowing your brows as the two laughed slightly. 

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” you said, rolling your eyes. You turned around, not wanting to be around the presence of people who put you down for your sexuality. So, you walked through the sand back to your friends as they were about fifteen feet away from the two. As you walked you heard them call out to you. 

“We know being gay isn’t appreciated here, but you being greedy and liking both? Are you okay, sweetie?” They called out, followed by laughter. 

Alice and Frances looked at each other confusingly, wondering what the hell happened back there before you grabbed your fruit bowl from Frances hands and marched back over to them, squishing the watermelon cubes with your hands so the juices of the fruit spilled out, and the fruit itself turned into mush. They didn’t see you coming as they were still laughing and making jokes about your sexuality.

And before you knew what you were doing, you dumped the entire bowl onto Catherine’s head, watching the fruit spill down her hair and onto her body as she gasped loudly. Milly gasped as well, shocked that you did such a thing. 

“Next time you want to make fun of someone’s sexuality, think again. Don’t fuck with us, I mean it,” you warned as your voice was tough and strong; the complete opposite as what it was when you were talking to her. You walked away to your friends as you saw both of their jaws dropped with an amused look as they were still confused but totally backed you up on what you did, even if they haven’t gotten a clue why you did what you did. 

Once you got back to them, you picked up your purse and said, “Let’s go.” The both of them nodded, excited to hear what just happened as you all gathered your stuff as you heard curse from Catherine and Milly calling you a greedy and spoiled bitch. As you walked, you turned around, blowing them a kiss for shits and giggles.

“Oh my god! What the fuck just happened?!” Frances asked as she laughed. 

You three stopped in front of the hotel as they both followed your lead, sitting on the curb, both on your sides. As you took deep breaths, you had so much adrenaline from the events that had just happened, but not even a minute later, you started laughing hysterically, which Alice and Frances found amusing so they joined you. 

“Oh god…” you said once you calmed down. “That was such a rush--I’ve never done that before,” you told them, chuckling. 

“Well, you never do things without reason, so it must’ve been a great reason,” Alice said, leaning her elbows on her knees. 

You then proceeded to tell them what happened from the moment you walked over to Catherine to the moment you felt so uncomfortable as they practically bullied you because of your sexuality. 

“Yeah, she deserved that shit,” Frances said from next to you. 

“Definitely. Can people just get over themselves and mind their own damn business?” Alice scoffed, rolling her eyes as she scoffed, saying that she would have done a lot more than throwing fruit on her if she were you. 

“I’m so over people saying shit,” you said tiredly, wanting people to accept you as who you are, but in this day and age, it’s difficult to. 

“Don’t worry about them, doll. You’ve got us,” Frances said, giving you a hug and Alice joins in as well, and you tell them that you love them. You put your arms around your two best friends, thinking that this is the most fun you’ve had in a very long time. And even though it caused a scene where you had to ruin someone’s hair and their swimsuit as they said nasty things to you, you had your dolls by your side, reminding yourself that no matter where you are in life mentally and physically, you’ll always have them. 

And you appreciated that so much. 

After an eventful day to start the trip, you decided you needed a drink. So, you three found yourself at a bar in Downtown as you chatted among them in a booth as you ate peanuts and drank one too many ‘gin and sins’ that made you buzzed and fuzzed. 

But that didn’t stop you from ordering more for the three of you nor did that stop you from accepting cocktails from Alice because she kept ordering as well. And the only responsible one between the three of you was Frances, which isn’t old news. Sometimes she liked to get down and dirty, but she didn’t like to have too much alcohol in her system, which you totally respect. 

But ‘gin and sins’ were your favorite, and when you said you needed a drink, you needed a drink. 

“Alright, think that’s enough for the both of you,” Frances said, limiting you and Alice. 

“Noo,” you whined. “One more? Please?” You reach across the table, making grabby hands at Frances. Alice nodded next to you. She was more tipsy than drunk, and you on the other hand, were drunk. 

“You said that in the last four rounds! I’m cutting you off,” Frances said sternly, and your eyes widened. 

“Damn, okay,” you said, slowly sitting up. 

“We should go,” Alice suggested. 

“No, you know what we should do? We should dance!” You suggested an even better choice, getting up from your seat as you danced in front of your table, Frances and Alice got out of the booth as well. You were shaking and swiveling your hips in a sexy manner, or you’re trying to be, and you’re not aware of the people coming into the bar and the people sitting peacefully in their seats as some watched you with an amusing smile or a confused expression. But you didn’t give a fuck as you kept dancing. 

“Alright, dancing queen. Let’s go back to the hotel,” Alice said as you huffed and stopped dancing while you pouted. 

As you three were walking out, Alice and Frances on both of your sides, helping you walk, five people came in all at once, causing you all to move to the side and wait for them to clear the door. You watched them walk in, and suddenly your eyes widened and you were complete shock. 

Alice and Frances slightly rugged at you since you weren’t walking at all, but you told them to wait. 

“What’s wrong?” Frances asked, and you let both of your arms go from their hold. They followed your line of vision and looked at each other in confusion. 

“Doll?” Alice called out to you. 

“Harry…” 

“C’mon-” Frances said as she tried to interlace your arm with hers, but you interrupted her. 

“No!” You took your arm  away from her. “Harry is right there,” you pointed towards the bar, and their head turned. Tears were welling up in your eyes as you felt so overwhelmed from seeing him again for the first time in six months. 

Before you knew what your drunk self was doing, you started walking towards the bar, and your friends quickly followed behind as they tried to reach for your arms, but you pulled them away before they could even grasp it. Once you got to the bar, you leaned your left arm against it as you faced him. 

“Harry,” you simply said. The man turned towards you, looking at you confusingly, but you were still convinced that it was Harry right in front of you. “Listen…” you said, trailing your words off as you weren’t prepared whatsoever to have him in front of you. 

After a whole six months of figuring what you would say to him if you were to meet him again; going through the words in your head and falling asleep to the thought of talking to him again, you stood there with your mouth slightly open but no words fell through your lips. A sad expression was present on your face as your mending heart was pounding through your chest, begging him to heal you fully. 

He looked at you, wondering if you were going to say anything and possibly wondering why a random girl would go up to him and call him Harry. And it’s the fact that he wasn’t saying anything either is what hurt you too. But you decided to speak up because if you didn’t now, then you would regret it later. 

“Harry…I missed you,” you said, voice slightly cracking just as your heart was as well. “Six months without you was hell, and I never want to go through that again. But if you don’t want to see me anymore, then that’s fine,” you told him, voice coming out in a sad tone as you didn’t want to go through your days without having him in your life. 

“Doll, we should go,” Frances said as she and Alice lightly grabbed your arm and tugged you backwards. “I’m sorry,” you heard her tell him. 

“Wait,” you said, and you reached up to the man and kissed his cheek softly. You didn’t care if it was Harry or not, but you’ve had pent up emotions for so long that you just needed to let them out. And even if it was Harry, you weren’t going to leave him without kissing him, although you’d rather it be his lips than his cheek as you longed to feel his lips against yours again. 

You despised that your last kiss with him happened under those events that night. That it led to something so heartbreaking and painful that you didn’t know when you would feel his touch again. You didn’t get the chance to anticipate the next time you’d be in his arms again. That the last time you heard the words ‘sweet girl’ from his mouth was when he was trying to comfort you from the pain you were both about to endure. And it’s like a broken record in your head, playing over and over again, and you don’t want to fix the broken record because then your favorite sound would disappear into the midst of nothingness. 

Alice and Frances pulled you away from him as they guided you towards the exit and back to the hotel. Not surprising, but you cried the entire way to the room until your friends put you under the covers and wiped your makeup off as you told them how much you missed Harry and you just wanted to talk to him; that seeing him at the bar, even if it wasn’t him, had made the sadness in your chest come back because of how much you missed him. 

They simply didn’t know what to tell you but feel sad for you knowing how much pain you were in. They hated seeing you so upset to the point where you didn’t act like yourself anymore. But they will always remain by your side as they kept telling you that you were going to be okay. 

You woke up in a small state of panic as you weren’t aware of your surroundings and the feeling of the bed not being your own. With a slight headache and the taste of the alcohol on your tongue the night prior, there were continuous knocks on the door that made you roll your eyes and groan as it interrupted your state of deep slumber. 

Lazily, you got up and looked at the bed next to you to find it empty as Alice and Frances didn’t seem like they were in the room either. You assumed they probably went out to get some food and bring it back as they talked about, and you also assumed that they had forgotten the room key, which is why they were banging on the door at ten in the morning. 

“Okay, I’m coming, jeez!” You yelled out as you rubbed your eyes and lightly yawned, walking towards the door. You unlocked the door, opening it as you looked down because of the light and said, “Why must you knock on the door so loud?” Once your eyes adjusted from the brightness of the outside, it widened as the figure in front of you was not who you were expecting. 

You blinked a couple of times, not sure if you were dreaming or drunk as your jaw dropped, not expecting to see Harry in front of you. 

“Hi,” he simply said. It was a simple greeting and you wished he said a full on sentence just so you could hear his voice again, but something in you freaked out, causing you to slam the door in his face. 

“Oh my god…” you said to yourself as you paced the carpeted hotel room. You tugged on your hair, taking deep breaths as you muttered to yourself about how he can’t really be outside of your room right now and you were just hallucinating that he was here. But when you heard the knock again, you were taken back to reality as you jolted your head towards the door and realized that you completely shut the door in his face. “Fuck,” you muttered as you quickly walked towards the door, opening it once again and meeting his eyes. 

Harry gave you a small smile as he took in your presence again. It was a long six months of missing you and wishing you were in his arms again. He longed to see your pretty face and beautiful smile again, and being in front of you felt a bit overwhelming for him that his heart pounded and his eyes glossed. He truly couldn’t believe he was standing in front of you, and even in your wakened state, he still found you the most beautiful person ever. 

“Harry,” you said as if you were calling out to him, believing but not believing he was in your vision. 

“Uh, hi,” he said again hesitantly. He was definitely nervous, and you were too. 

“W-What…what are you doing here?” You asked, crossing your arms and subtly trying to fix your messy bed hair. But he looked great as usual; he wore a red and yellow striped t-shirt with some grey trousers, and pale yellow loafers. Harry was the type of person who could make anything look good, and you were absolutely jealous of him for that. He didn’t look all that different from when you last saw him; his hair was still the same, but he had a slight stubble on his jaw. 

“I came here to see you.” 

“How did you know I was here?” You leaned against the door, still debating in your head if you should invite him in or not. 

“Frances and Alice. They told me to come to your room last night,” he said, chuckling slightly. 

“Last night…” you said, not thinking anything of it. “Oh, last night!” You repeated, realizing that last night was the night you apparently saw him, and it seemed like you did. “Oh my god,” you said as you buried your face into your hands, groaning in embarrassment. “That really was you, huh?” You asked, not taking your hands away from your face, but separating your fingers as your eyes peeked out. 

“Yeah, it was me at the bar,” he said, giggling as he remembered the events that happened last night. 

“See, I knew it was you! I had the smallest doubt that it wasn’t but convinced myself that it was,” you shook your head, chuckling. “Wait, that means you heard everything, and I really kissed you,” you said as you gasped softly. Harry blushed in response as he smiled lightly at you. “How did you know I was there?” 

“I didn’t. I was there with some friends and I didn’t see you until you came up to me. Was completely surprised to be honest. And then Alice came up to me, after Frances dragged you away, to tell me to come up to your room today. So here I am,” he explained, which makes much more sense on why they disappeared in the morning and why Harry’s standing at your door. 

“Here you are,” you said softly. It briefly went silent between you two; so many unspoken words between you as you two wanted to blurt so many things out, but you really wanted to sit down and have a real and mature conversation with him. “So, uh, do you want to hang out today? Figured we have a lot to talk about.” 

“I’d love to. I’m free the whole day, so we can do anything,” he said, and you nodded. 

“Do you want to go down to the beach? I can just get ready quickly and we can hang out over there?” You asked nervously, even though he already said yes to hanging out with you. 

“Yeah, okay. That sounds great. I’ll, uh, wait for you out here?” He said, backing up slightly from the door frame so he’s completely standing outside. 

“Okay, cool,” you said, immediately slapping yourself mentally once those words came out of your mouth. Harry seemed to find that amusing as he laughed a bit as he saw you beating yourself up over what you had said. 

“Cool,” he said back, in a way to make you feel better about saying it, and your face had gone flustered as you slowly closed the door. 

“I’ll be quick.” 

“I’ll be right here.” 

You nodded your head as you closed the door, closing your eyes as you took the deepest breath that you were holding ever since you saw him. 

“Really? Cool?” You said to yourself, rolling your eyes as you groaned before you quickly got ready. 

You were ready in 15 minutes as you wore a plain white knitted sweater and some leggings, considering it was a bit breezy outside, and you and Harry walked to the beach. Luckily, the beach was only about a five minute walk, and the walk was filled with silence as nothing came out of both of your mouths. 

It was a nice day out considering the month still being winter, as the sun was out and slightly shining with the clouds present. You and Harry found a spot on the beach where there weren't that many people around to interrupt you both from your conversation. 

Laying the towel down, Harry helped you as he held the other end to straighten it out, and you two sat next to each other. There was a bit of space between you two, and it definitely felt weird that you didn’t close the gap to sit closer to him, but in all honesty, you didn’t know if that was crossing the line. Plus, you didn’t know where you two stood either. 

Your heart was pounding as you kept your hands in your lap from showing him how shakily nervous you were to be finally sitting next to him. And Harry was no better; he wasn’t saying anything because of the fact that he was also anxious as well. He was nervous that he would say the wrong thing to you, and he didn’t know if you were angry with him for disappearing for a whole six months. 

After ten minutes of looking out into the ocean as the sun lightly hit your skins, you finally spoke. 

“So…” you started, not finishing nor knowing what to say. Harry turned towards you, thankful that you were the one to start talking. “How are you, Harry?” You asked, and he somewhat cringed at the sound of his name as he missed the way ‘honey’ fell through your sweet lips. 

“I’m, uh, I’m doing okay. How are you?” He answered, and you just shrugged your shoulders as you sighed. “Are you doing okay?” 

“Y’know, I thought I was—doing okay. I mean, I was better than I was six months ago, but seeing you…” you said, looking him in the eye as memories of him leaving and running off came back to you. But you knew it wasn’t his fault; he did what he had and was told to do. “It just reminded me how much I missed you so much. And how much the last six months for me were hell because you weren’t around and I didn’t have contact with you,” you purse your lips, and Harry frowned, feeling guilty for not even calling you back. 

“I’m sorry-”

“No, no. Don’t be. I understand,” you interrupted, but he shook his head in disagreement. 

“Listen, not calling you was entirely my fault—I could’ve just…” he trailed off, not knowing how to word his thought properly. 

“Harry, what happened during those months? I called and called, I stayed in front of your apartment complex and waited for you for hours, but you never showed up,” you said, not meaning to make him feel bad, but you were telling the truth. Harry frowned even more, looking down onto his lap. 

Taking a deep breath, he looked up at you again as he spoke, “Okay. I’m going to tell you everything, just listen to what I have to say first before you decide if you want to be angry with me, alright?” 

You nodded, not saying anything as you waited to hear what he had to say. But you knew you weren’t going to get angry with him, you simply just wanted to hear what the hell happened to him and why he went M.I.A for six months. 

“After that night,” he started, not explaining any further of what that night was because you already knew, and it was hard to look and talk about what happened that day. “A few days later, I got a call from Shareen. She told me to come to the studio for a chat, and I thought it was going to be about the role. That maybe your father had a change of heart and decided to cast me, but I was wrong.” 

Your brows furrowed, already furious that Harry going missing could have possibly involved Richard and you despised him even more for that, but you continued listening. 

“I went to Shareen’s office, but she directed me to your father’s, and he said he wanted to talk to me. Was practically nervous at this point.” 

“Harry, what did he say?” You asked as you grew impatient. 

“Told me that if I stayed away from you, then he wouldn’t ruin the career that hadn’t even started. He said that he’s not going to cast me for the movie I auditioned for, but maybe the next one,” Harry said sadly, remembering how down he felt when he left his office and the studio. He was so close to having the career he wanted; so close to having his dream come true, but they were crushed right in front of him in the matter of seconds. 

“What the actual fuck…” you said in a calm manner as you were trying not to lash out in public and in front of Harry. 

“Hey, I’m so sorry. That’s the reason why I didn’t call because he told me to stay away, and it was hard to and I should’ve gone against his wishes, but it’s my career, y’know? I couldn’t risk not having my dream come true, and I hope you understand why I didn’t come to see you anymore. But know that it was a difficult decision to make because I was close to risking everything for you until Daren slapped some sense into me,” he explained quickly, not wanting you to be mad at him, but he would be if he were you. 

“No, no. I’m not mad at you,” you said as your hand touched his face, cupping his cheek. Harry immediately got chills from the contact, and he missed your touch dearly. “I understand why you did what you had to do. You made a sacrifice for yourself, so I would never be mad at you for that. If you were to give up everything for me, then I would be mad,” you said softly, looking at the man that has had your heart for the last months. 

“So, you’re not mad?” He asked, needing reassurance. 

“No, of course not, honey. I’m glad you had to do what was best for you,” you told him honestly. “Yeah, it hurt not being able to talk to you or see you, and practically not know where you were, but look at us now. We’re right in front of each other and that’s all that matters.” 

It was really all that mattered to you. You were never one to hold onto your anger and you were very forgiving in the sense, but being mad or upset at Harry didn’t exist because he did everything with good reason. 

Harry blushed at the sound of his pet name coming from your lips. Missing that name was an understatement; he longed to hear it again, and throughout those months, he had no idea when he would hear it, but now it was the sound of relief and reunion. 

“I’ve missed you calling me that,” he said, face being flustered. You moved to lay on your stomach, and he copied your actions as you two lay, facing each other. 

The sun was getting a bit brighter, so Harry pulled out his sunglasses, putting them on and you gave him a smile. You were already wearing white heart sunglasses, but you took your pair off and reached forward to take his sunglasses off, and put them on you. They were a pair of red lensed sunglasses that were heart shaped as well, and you adored them. Harry chuckled as you put your sunglasses on him. 

“These are like the glasses I would wear. Did you take them from me?” You teased, and Harry giggled, adjusting your white heart sunglasses on his face. 

“I bought them because they reminded me of you,” he said honestly, and you blushed, smiling at him softly. Your heart instantly swooned once he said those words, and all you wanted to do was kiss him. “They look better on you anyways,” he complimented. 

“Those look really good on you too,” you said back. You missed the back and forth, complimenting or banter with him. It was fun and light, and made you want more with him. It was something you thought about daily when you were away from him, and having it back made you feel so overwhelmed with happiness and joy. 

“So, what’s been going on with you?” He asked after the glances that you two made each other made him flustered. 

“Guess it’s my turn to tell my part, huh?” You chuckled, 

“Only if you want to. I’m here to listen if you’d like,” he said. You smiled, happy he never changed his mannerism. He’s always been a gentleman to you and everyone, and that’s one of the things you loved about him. 

“I wanna tell you,” you stated, and Harry nodded, waiting for you patiently to speak. “I wasn’t really doing okay, to be honest. I was a mess, and I haven’t really been myself since that day. Watching you leave was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and not knowing when I would see you again comes right next to it. After about two months, I finally talked to my father. That ended messy because he had all these plans for me with my ex, Chris, about business and marriage and I never wanted them. Then it got to the point where I was crying in front of him because you weren’t in my life anymore. And I’ve never cried in front of him before, so it was quite the surprise for him,” you ended with a chuckle, and Harry nodded his head throughout you speaking, listening to you intently and taking your words in. 

“Did things get better?” Harry asked, curiously, wondering if her father changed his attitude. 

“No. He said some shit about if I can’t tolerate him or proceed with his plans, then I should move out. So, I did just that.” Harry’s eyes widened, shocked but relieved because you were somewhat free. 

“You did?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been living with Frances for about four months now, but I might move out soon just to get out of her hair, so we can have her own space. But I’m better now than I was for my entire 23 years of life when I was in that house,” you said in almost a relief. You’ve practically been miserable in that household; filled with toxicity and loveless people. 

Jane had been sad to see you go, but she still encouraged you. She was the hardest one to say goodbye to, but she understood why you wanted to leave. There had been many tears as she watched you pack your suitcase into your car, and she sent you off with telling you to find the boy that “captured your heart.” 

“I’m proud of you for doing that. I know you didn’t tell me much about your family and how you grew up, but from what it seemed like, you weren’t happy there. So I’m glad you have your freedom now,” he said honestly with a smile, not wanting you to seem offended. And you weren’t because he was completely right. 

For a moment, you two shared glances and basked in the sun as you both laid under it. There was no action of moving closer than how you were now, but the thought of doing so made you both nervous. 

“Are you still working at Sweetland?” You asked suddenly but curiously, breaking the silence between you two as the outside world of the ocean and birds filled the words. 

“No, I’m not, actually. I quit about two months ago, but I still visit every week because I’ve grown quite attached to everyone there,” he said with a breathy laugh. 

“Why did you quit, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

“I kind of wanted a different job, and I wanted to do something I was good at. Not sure if sex is the answer to that,” he smirked, and your eyes widened. 

“Oh, you’re definitely good at sex-” you paused as your cheeks had gone flustered because of what you said. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that out loud, and that was definitely crossing-”

Harry interrupted your rambling by stroking your cheek with his thumb. The action had caught you by surprise, but it definitely shut your mouth up. His stare was so passionate and intense that you felt like you were being put under his spell. His spell of comfort and familiarity. The spell of love. But you had been under that spell since you met him, and there was no way he was going to reverse it. 

The thought of wanting to kiss him had never left your mind; you just wanted to pull him in for a kiss to relieve your need as the touch of his lips make you feel alive every time he kissed you. 

“I’ve missed you,” he said in a hushed voice for only you to hear. Despite the crowd being relatively loud as the time goes by and more people visit the beach, you felt like you were the only two to ever exist at the moment. There was no one around to pop the bubble you two created. 

“I’ve missed you so much more,” you whispered back, looking up and down from his lips and eyes. 

He was doing the same, although his gaze held a little longer onto your lips as he noticed your lips being like strawberry lipstick from the many lollipops you’ve probably eaten. But nonetheless, his favorite lips are yours. 

“I’m sorry for being so M.I.A,” he said once more. 

“Stop being sorry. You’re here now,” you grabbed his hand that was resting against the towel as your face cuddled more into his hand. 

“I was actually out of state. That’s why I wasn’t around.” Your brows raised, and he continued, “Went to go visit my mum in New York.” 

“Really?” He nodded. 

“Yeah. Hadn’t seen her in about a year, so I decided to save up a ton and go see her. Then I stayed for about two months, which was when I quit my job. I actually got back last week, and some guys at the shop wanted to make a trip down here, and then I saw you.”

“Yeah…” you said softly. 

“When I saw you last night at the bar, I really couldn’t believe it. And then when you came up to me, my heart was beating so fast, but time stopped. You were talking to me all drunk, debating with yourself if it was really me or not, and then you fuckin’ kissed me, and I felt over the moon but I was still in shock,” he chuckled remembering how he felt the night prior. 

“Knew in my heart that it was you, so I couldn’t resist myself from going up to you,” you told him honestly. Harry blushed, always loving your words and how honest you were. 

He moved his position back to a sitting upright as his legs were bent and his arms resting on his knees. He motioned you to sit between his legs and you happily obliged, immediately moving to sit in between them as your back rested on his chest. This was the closest you’ve ever been with him in six months, and you were taking it all in as he wrapped his arms around shoulders, and you placed your arms on top of his. 

The feeling of his body so close to yours had made you feel nostalgic. The moments where you two would lie in bed after sex or when he would put his arm around you as you walked the streets; those were the moments you missed the most because you felt so connected to him physically and emotionally. You longed for his warmth when you would go home to an empty bed and a bad day. You craved for his touch when you would lie awake at night as you stared at the ceiling, wondering what he was doing. 

But this moment was worth all the pain and heartache that you had to go through the past months. It was the only thing you were looking forward to when you were to be reunited with him again, and you almost forgot the feeling of his arms around you when you were stuck in your own world as you missed the security of his warmth. 

And you were happy. 

After another hour or two of relaxing on the beach in each other’s arms, you two decided to call it a day. You held Harry’s hand all the way back to your hotel room, and the separation was something you weren’t looking forward to. 

“Alright, I’ll see you soon, okay?” He said as he pulled you into a hug. Your head rested on his chest, hearing his beating heart pound through his chest as you wrapped your arms tightly around him—maybe too tightly. “Woah, woah. Might break me if you hug me any tighter,” he said jokingly. You embarrassingly loosened your arms, but you were still pressed up against him. You looked up at him, chin against his chest instead of the side of your face. 

You gave him a small smile, but there was a hint of sadness, he could tell. And he knew exactly why there was a tinge of sadness. 

“Hey, sweet girl,” he said softly, and your heart immediately started beating quite fast, but it swooned. The pet name that you hadn’t heard in so long was finally back, and throughout the whole day on the beach, you were wondering when or if he would call you that again. And when you finally heard it, the words were soft and slick like butter like you wanted to indulge into the sweetness of his words. 

Your eyes welled up with tears, “I’ve been wanting to hear you say that again for so long.” 

“Then I should’ve said it earlier, but I didn’t know if I was crossing the line.” 

“You’re never crossing the line with me,” 

Harry smiled, showing his dimples that you’ve missed, and he placed his hands on the side of your face before kissing your forehead softly, lingering his lips a little longer than he should have, but you didn’t mind whatsoever. 

He let go, raking his hands down both of your arms before holding your hand with his. “I should get going.” 

“Okay,” you responded as you nodded your head. He let go of one hand as he tried to walk away, but the hand that was still holding his, pulled him back. Harry studied your face as a frown was present. 

“Listen to me, okay? When I say I’ll see you soon, I don’t mean six months anymore. I mean in the next couple of days, but right now we have to get back to our friends, alright?” He said, looking you intently in the eyes. You sighed and nodded, believing that it won’t be months on end until you see him again. “Never gonna go that long without seeing you again. Hurts too much,” he pulled you in for one last hug, kissing the top of your head. “I’ll see you soon—I mean it,” he said once he let go. 

“Okay. I’ll see you soon, honey,” you let go of his hands as he slowly walked away. From a distance, he blew you a big kiss, and you caught his air kiss as you made a fist and brought it to your heart. “I’ll be waiting for the real thing!” You called out and you saw him smile widely. 

“Oh, I’ll definitely be there to give it to you! Soon, my sweet girl!” He yelled out back to you before blowing you multiple more kisses. 

At this point, you couldn’t stop beaming as you watched him walk away from your line of vision. The last time you watched him leave had ended in heartbreak, followed by heartache. But this time, you smiled as you watched him leave, knowing that you would be able to see him very soon and not wonder when you would. 

And you couldn’t wait to see his bright eyes and beautiful smile again, and of course, give a kiss to his pink lips. 

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CHAPTER SIX WILL BE POSTED SOON!

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[chrisevansszn]

THE GAMES WE PLAY PT 4‼‼‼‼

FINAL CHAPTER ‼

1.6 Word Count

*quick recap*

 

The ride was nice, and you guys held hands the whole way home. When you got back home yall decided on order Door Dash. You both were taking off your shoes and such when the doorbell rings.

 

“That’s odd”, Chris says. You both was still standing in the hallway, and Chris walks up to the door and opens it. Standing there is his ex, Lily James with a bottle of wine.

 

“Hi there”, she says.

 

Chris stops and stare for a second, and then finally says “Lily. What a pleasant surprise.” “I just thought a nice pop up would be ok since you just finished the premiere maybe we can celebrate”. Lily holds up the bottle of wine.

 

She still hasn’t noticed you standing in the hallway. Her eyes are directly on Chris.

 

“Well,”, Chris says, “I do have a friend here.” He moves to side and opens the door a little wider revealing you. “Oh, goodness”. Lilly blurts out. “I had no idea”.

 

You smile respectfully and walk up to the door to shake her hand. “Y/N, nice to meet you”. Lily shakes your hand back but not in a super friendly way.  “Lily”. It takes you back. “Chris, please let Lily join us for a drink to celebrate our premiere”, you say. You turn around to walk towards the kitchen.

 

Chris and Lily follow behind. Lily hands Chris the wine to open and you both sit at this kitchen bar. Chris begins looking for the wine opener and remembers he left at his wine bar next to the living room. He walks out.

 

Lily looks at you. “Are you and Chris dating?” Your faced grimaced. You couldn’t believe that she had the audacity to ask you that. “I don’t think that is any of your business”, you reply. “Well, you know Chris is a lady’s man…if you are thinking about taking things to the next level, I wouldn’t recommend it…from personal experience”. Lily gives you a fake smile.

 

“Well, what the fuck are you doing here then?” You don’t have time for the games.

 

Chris walks back in. “Ok, ladies I finally found it”. He popped the bottle open and grabbed some glasses. He notices that something is afoot. “Is everything ok?” He’s asking both of you.

 

You waste no time. “Lily asked if we were dating. I told her it was none of her business”. He stopped pouring. “She also said that if I was considering taking things to the next level with you that I shouldn’t, because you are a lady’s man.” Chris set down the glass and the champagne.

 

“Lily, stand up. Get your shit and go”, she says without hesitation. “Chris, I didn’t-…” “NOW, Lily. You came here to start some shit and I won’t allow it.” He pulls her chair back for her. She gets up and he follows her down the hallway. You can hear him say “I don’t want to hear that bullshit” and closes the door.

 

Maybe you shouldn’t have said that! BUT she was being a bitch for no reason. Chris walks back in. “I am so sorry. I had no clue she was going to show up.”

 

“It’s ok. Damn ol girl got put out before she could have a sip of her wine”. Chris throws her wine in the trash. “Her fault”.

 

You and Chris continue the night drinking and playing card games. You just love how simple this man is. Then you get a message through Instagram. You click “unread messages”, but don’t actually click the message just yet.

 

Sender: Lily James

 

You pre-read the message.

 

“I just wanted to let you know Chris invited me to visit last week. I don’t know what you guys have going on, but I wouldn’t just show up like a creeper. Here are the screenshots to prove it”.

 

You hesitate. Chris is looking at his phone not really paying attention. You both are fucking wasted. If you click this message Lily will know that you read it. You think…and think…and think.

 

Chris is not your man. These messages have nothing to do you with you.

 

You click it.

 

It’s Chris professing his love for Lily and how much he missed her. That he only has eyes for her. That he wants to try it again, and to come down for the premiere so they can spend some time together.

 

Why would he invite you after her? You keep reading….she declined his offer. You were the back up option. You are completely intoxicated, and your emotions are beginning to get the best of you.

 

“Chris”. He looks up. “Yes”. “Lily is messaging me on IG and sent me screen shots of you asking for a second chance and to come to LA for the premiere. She declined…was I just a backup?” He froze. You can tell he was processing everything. “She sent you screenshots of mine and her text messages to you?”

 

“Correct.”

 

He ran his hand over his beard. “I….wanted to see if there was anything left between Lily and I.”  “So I was a backup bitch??”

“Y/N, no!” “Yes, I am Christopher”. You stand up.

 

Its literally 2AM and your flight leaves out in 6 hours.

 

“Y/N please sit so we can discuss this.” “There is nothing to discuss Chris. You are not my man and I am not your woman”. His eyes grow big. “I do not have times for these games with you, Chris. If you just wanted to fuck I would have been fine with that. Don’t cuddle with me, hold me, and whisper a whole bunch of nothing to me”. “Y/N I never said I wanted to be in a relationship with you. Why would you even assume that?”  Chris finally stands up.

 

You are taken back by what he just said.

 

“You know what Chris; you are fucking right. Why would I? You’re damn near 40, still no wife, still no kids, all alone, and maybe that’s the life you so deserve.” That hit a soft spot.

 

“FUCK YOU Y/N! You don’t know shit. I’ve been working my ass off in my 30’s and neglected the one thing that I’ve always wanted the most in my entire life. A fucking family!”  You both are standing face to face.

 

You’ve never seen Chris so upset. You’ve never heard him raise his voice, but all that ended today.

 

“I am going to pack my shit and leave”. “Where are you going to go Y/N, it 2 o clock in the fucking morning!” He screams at you. You begin to walk off, and Chris grabs your arm. “You are not leaving, that’s ridiculous.” You yank your arm back. “Don’t touch me”.

 

You begin down the hallway, and he follows you. You enter the guest room and throw your suitcase on the floor and start placing your items in there. Chris is standing in the doorway watching. You are on your knees googling hotels so you can leave. Chris closes the door and locks it. You and him are in the room. He comes and snatches your phone out of your hand.

 

“Are you out of your mind?”, you yell and stands up to try to get your phone back. He holds it up high over his head. “Chris, give me my phone now!”

 

“Listen to me….listen to me NOW! Please don’t leave. I will leave you alone, but you must promise me you will not leave in the middle of the night.”

 

You stop. You both are looking each other in the eyes.

 

“I will take you to the airport in the morning like I had planned.” He gives you your phone back.

 

“I am going to bed.” You can hear his footsteps going down the hall. You are so emotional and drained. You look at your phone 3:05AM. You change clothes and  peep down the hall and you can see a light coming from Chris’ room. He normally sleeps with his door closed. He’s making sure you don’t leave.

 

You finish packing quickly and lay in your bed. Sleep really isn’t finding you right now. Then you hear footsteps headed your way. Your bedroom door is open. Chris knocks respectfully.

 

“Hey”, you say. “Hey”, he replies. Chris walks over and sits on the bed. “I just want to apologize for everything. I never wanted you to feel second. You are so special to me; you have no idea.  I did reach out to Lily and I am happy she declined. My intentions were to never hurt you. Do you forgive me?”

 

Well...how can you stay mad at him?? Those blue damn eyes! “I forgive you Chris”.

He leans over and hugs you.

 

“Can I sleep with you tonight?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

Chris crawls into bed with you and holds you close. You both fall asleep. Your alarm goes off at 6:30AM. You both are dreading getting out of the bed. You throw on some joggers, hoodie, and some Nikes. Chris makes you a fresh cup of coffee, while you give all the goodbye kisses to Dodger.

 

The drive to the airport was quiet. You were holding Chris’ hand. You arrive to the airport, and he helps you with your luggage. “Thank you again for everything Chris.” “You are absolutely welcome”. You give him a kiss on the cheek, paparazzi are starting to swarm.

 

“I’ll text you when I land back in Texas.” “Sure thing”

 

“Bye Chris”. “Bye Y/N”.

 

You enter the airport… and never look back. Maybe it’s best for you to keep Chris just as a friend. 

I hope each and everyone one of you enjoyed this one! 💜💜💜

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