#asking the age old question: what if those two guys kissed

[dilf-docs]

It Always Leads To You

joel miller x younger fem!reader

summary: it's been a year; now you're back. how can joel be so sure of those old summer feelings in your eyes when there's a new hand holding yours?

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, toxic relationship, cheating and infidelity themes, mutual pinning, kinda dark!joel, smut, p. in v., pussy pronouns, oral (f. receiving), fingering, manhandling, lowkey forced creampie, ANGST, the taylor swift evermore (2020) references go wild, happy ending cause y'all weak asses voted for it and i love to keep my citizens happy!

word count: 5,199 words

side note: my joel miller era is alive and breathing after this tlou re-watch i'm doing my brother swears it's for him but it's mostly me and my fic/womanly reasons, yes we love gaslight girlkeep girlbossing in here gotta say, finding inspiration for this amidst my wattpad duties and christmas movie marathon was harder than i thought lol. was it worth the wait? please like, comment and reblog to let me know! it's based on this request (they're still open btw!)

part: I / II

Holidays linger like bad perfume.

Your eyes wander through the streets: the roads you've got to call home, the ones where you grew up. They're familiar, but so foreign, it's hard to believe they're the same ones where you scrapped your knees at ten and kissed Joel just last winter. It's as if both timelines, your life, feels more like two separate lives, miles apart.

"Hey, you okay?" tender, from the driver's seat; you're still getting used to the soft.

There's a reassuring smile your way, his hand finding yours to give it a squeeze. You notice his palm is the same size as yours. It fits perfectly, but there's a ghost of what it feels like to have it all wrapped up, looming over your itchy palm like all the yearning's a joke.

You nod. "Just tired. That's all"

He sighs. "If I wanted you to lie to me, I would've just asked"

"I'm not lying" you defend yourself as his pickup truck parks on the sidewalk.

He makes a funny face, and you laugh.

"I'm serious, Nick" your lips purse, a thing you do when you lie, yet he still hadn't noticed, like Joel. "Don't worry"

He doesn't look that convinced, so you take off your seat belt and grab his hand.

"C'mon. Mom and dad must be waiting for us"

"Hey" Nick calls you out.

"Yeah?"

"Who lives there?" and he's pointing behind you.

It's his. Joel's house.

"A friend of my dad's" you answer, dryly.

It was last december when you stood there in his porch, begging. It feels like time has stopped ever since, and you're still right where he left you.

"So will he be here?" Nick asks. "You know, since he knows your dad"

"Don't think so" you shrug, "he's got better things to do anyway. Bitter old man" comes out, with more venom than intended.

"Oh! Alright, sorry for asking"

You come back to your senses, realizing you've shared more than you should.

"No, I'm sorry. It's not that important; let's just go inside"

Your mom and dad greet you as soon as you cross the door. Last year, you'd basically fled away before New Year's, with a poor excuse and a broken heart. They both greet you as if nothing happened, although you're sure they remember your tear streamed face coming back from Joel's house, where it all ended.

As your mom corners Nick with kisses and embarrassing questions, your dad whispers to you:

"Joel asked what happened" you quirk and eyebrow, "wanted to know why you left"

"Eh, it's not important" you try to dismiss. "Definitely not as important for a guy like Joel to know"

"What is that supposed to mean?" your dad inquires. You often wonder if they knew.

"Nothing" you laugh nervously. "Listen, why don't you go and meet Nick, yeah? Did you know he likes fishing too?"

The distraction works with your dad; the same can't be said about you.

There's conversation flowing, but through the snow covered window, your eyes keep glancing back to his own. The view is dark, and you ponder if he's fled as well, the town plagued with memories too painful to reminisce.

You can still feel his hands roaming your body, the lust filled gaze that hid warmth. Every time he touches you, you have to remind you he isn't there: that the lips that kiss you, don't taste like his, that the hands that hold you, aren't big as his, and that the face that looks at you like they'll never choose another, is one you haven't learned to love yet.

Joel's memory cuts like thorns: they sink their teeth into your heart, that bleeds with that blood-colored sadness you're all too familiar with. He's poisoned you. But-- isn't it his love also the antidote for this disease he's gave you?

You abruptly stand up, plate half eaten.

"I-I need some air"

It's cold outside, but you don't care. All you want to do is sit on the porch, and drop some tears, something you can do inside too, but the fear of your muffled cries being able to be heard stops you.

You walk towards the stairs, to sit there like you do on summer days, yet there's now a difference: the snow. So you end up slipping, falling with your butt on the floor.

You yelp, embarrased although no one can see you.

"Need help?"

That you're wrong, apparently.

You don't even need to raise your view to know who that voice belongs to: you know it like a record, spinning in circles on your head.

He offers his strong hand your way, and although the cold wind hits your face, you're back to spring on the cabin: wet feet, bright sun and beating heart.

"I can get up myself" you reject his help, pushing the hand out. You keep avoiding his gaze, so you don't see how he's reacted, yet you hope he feels bad about it.

You walk up to the front door, and it takes you a while to realize he hasn't left yet. On top of that, it seems like he's following you. Just what you needed.

"What are you doing here?" you question, but your tone sounds like you're offended.

"Your folks invited me over" Joel answers, "Says they got a special guest"

"Yeah" this time, you do look back, finding him to be much closer than you thought he'd be. Yet you stand tall, defiant even. "It's my boyfriend"

You savour the way his expression falters, before the stoic façade takes over again.

"Boyfriend?" Joel scoffs, as if you just told the funniest joke ever.

"Is that supposed to be funny?" you bite back. "What? Think a pretty girl can't get a new man?"

"Never said I'd doubt'it" he clicks his tongue. "Y'a could get any man you'd want, sugar"

Ironically, the only man you want stands before you.

"Right" you chuckle dryly, "I think it's kind of funny of you to say that"

Joel's eyes bore into yours, a clash of emotions circling in his chocolate orbs.

"Y/n-"

"Don't" you stop him. Then sigh, defeated. "Let's just go inside"

As soon as you both arrive on the dinning room, your parents both greet Joel. Then, they introduce him to their guest, just as promised.

"Joel, this is Nick, y/n's boyfriend" your father speaks. "Nick, this is Joel, a dear old friend of mine"

Nick, as the gentleman he is, offers his hand. Joel accepts, but you can see the barely desguised displease behind his eyes.

"Wow, strong grip" Nick comments before joking, "you can let go now, I'm not going anywhere"

The hidden meaning of his words, whether intentional or not, hit Joel in the face. It's obvious by the way he backtracks, letting go of Nick's hand.

As you sit again, Nick leans to your side and whispers.

"Is this the guy who lives in the house across the street?" you nod. "Thought you'd said he had better plans. But, see? I told you: no plan's more important than coming to your house"

He's always making jokes, trying to make you smile, but it's done the opposite now. The food has gone cold long ago, yet you cut through the meat with a violence so palpable, even your mom tells you to slow down.

The nerve of Joel, showing up to your house like it's nothing, talking to you like he's unaware of his spell on you, acting like Nick is some sort of competition when he pulled out of the race himself a winter ago.

"So, Nick. How did you two meet?" your mom adresses him, eager to know details.

"It was at a party, actually, through mutual friends. Not a very spectacular story, that I know. What's funny is, she asked me what hour it was. And what did I say?"

"He didn't answer my question. Instead, he said: For you, I'm available any hour" you answer.

Your parents laugh, but Joel remains quiet. You wonder what he's thinking.

"You know" looking at Nick while cutting the steamed vegetables a little too agressive, "y/n actually hates parties"

"Joel" you warn through gritted teeth.

"Really? I didn't know that!" Nick seems so genuine, Joel can't help but hate him. He looks at you, concerned "You didn't tell me"

You can't believe he would rat you out like that. The appropiate word isn't hate, and you don't know how to describe it, but parties aren't really your environment; if you can, you'd choose to be anywhere else.

He'll pay for that.

"Joel" you seethe, an ugly smile painted in your features, "did you know Nick knows how to fish?"

It's a direct jab at him. He feels stupid for letting you get to him. The inferiority complex towards some random guy he just met, years younger, is actually laughable.

"I like-" Nick wants to add on that.

"Well" Joel interrupts, looking at you. "You never taught me like ya' were s'pposed to"

"You never cared to learn" you reply, acidic.

He sips his drink, trying to hide the smirk that's formed on his lips. You can't shut up, and he loves you've stayed the same.

"That means I've got some classes to take" Joel leans back on his chair, relaxed like he's won this round. "Just tell me when"

The tension cuts like the storm that's just formed outside.

"You should stay over, Joel" your dad offers when he takes a peak at the climate, "it's too dangerous outside"

Joel seems indestructible, like not even a snow blizzard could pierce through the rough old man. But he agrees, much to your dismay.

It's probably midnight already, and all you've done is toss around the bed. Nick peacefully snores next to you, and you envy how easily he falls asleep. You've always find it hard to sleep, the nighttime plagued with too many loud thoughts that fill the silence.

You get up carefully, heading downstairs for some water. You sip with tranquility when a noise jolts you from your sit.

The wooden floor creaks, making you aware you're not alone anymore.

"Can't sleep?"

You don't answer, seeing his sturdy figure emerge from the shadows until the dim moonlight shines over his aging features. Silence settles in. Outside, the wind howls, bumping against the windows with violence, like your heart does now against your chest.

"Not much of a talker, are you?"

"There's nothing to talk" cuts your response through the thick tension, the air suddenly suffocating.

You take another sip, but the tremble of your hand doesn't go unnoticed by Miller.

"Right" Joel sits next to you, on the kitchen island. "Won't even look at me, sugar? You've got eyes" his voice drops, "use 'em"

"What are you doing, Joel?" you ask looking at him, tears threatening to spill, making your bright eyes shimmer with pain.

He gets up abruptly, like he's woken up from a trance. He's seen his own pain on your eyes, and he hates it.

"Joel?" you ask again, demanding but softly.

He can't answer. Instead, he leaves.

"Goodnight, y/n" voice raw, many emotions boiling, hidden on the inside. It hurts.

If you hadn't changed, Joel too stayed the same.

A goddamn coward.

Two days have passed since, and now it's Christmas Eve.

You kneel, putting the presents under the tree. Normally, your parents would have much more people around for the holidays, but thanks to the storm, it's just them, Nick, Joel and you.

"I'm gonna miss Mrs. Stone's cookies" you pout, "I wish she could be here"

"It's a big loss for tonight" your dad sighs. "Next time, yeah? Christmas will come again faster than you think"

You nod, still absent as he walks away.

"Hey" Joel pops up behind, seemingly from nowhere.

"Hey" you reply, voice laced with tiredness just at the sight of him. How will you manage to survive until New Year's? You have no idea, the task harder if he's staying in the same house as you are.

"Put this in there, will ya'?"

He hands you a box, neatly wrapped up. What stands out the most is the silver bow on top. Your stomach drops: it's your favorite color.

"Y-yeah" you stammer. When the present falls in your hands, you notice it looks like Joel did it himself.

"Didn't know you were capable of nice things" you whisper. There's no anger in your voice, only loss.

"I'm trying" is what he says, before leaving you alone. Until then, you realize he had been touching you, the skin where his hand was on your shoulder burning.

Dinner goes by swiftly, conversation flowing easily courtesy of Nick and your father, who both have in common the love for talking. It may be your brain messing with you, but his eyes never leave you, fixated on your every move, savoring when your lips open and take a bite; when you lick them afterwards, salt in your mouth he'd love to take off in a movement of his tongue. The ghost of your lips haunts him, cruelly playing with his yearning now that he's got you across the table. It's a few centimeters, really, but it feels like you're miles away: and it's his fault. You're no longer his, and he's reminded of it every time your boyfriend kisses what he once had.

Now it's time to open the presents, and you excitedly raise your hand to go first.

"Alright, sweetheart. You know I can't deny you anything" your father beams, "go ahead. Choose any present you'd like to open first"

Joel's eyes are on you, and you know he's desperately waiting for you to open his first. Maybe partly in courage, maybe partly in fear, but you choose Nick's first: something safe to start with.

"That's mine!" he chirps, and Joel mockingly imitates his kid-like joy under his breath.

You unwrap the present, finding a small box inside.

"Please, don't be another box" you joke, and he laughs.

"You think that low of me? Please"

You keep unwrapping and find a bag. The bag has a small tag that reads: Gotcha.

"Nick! God, you're so corny" you tease as you open the bag. Inside, there's a velvet box, and by the looks of it, you can tell it's jewelry. You gasp, pulling out a silver charm tied to a silver thin chain: it's a marlin fish. "Nick..."

"I know. Marlin isn't your favorite fish, but that's all I could find" you get up, wrapping him on a tight hug. Aware you've got an audience, he leans and whispers "I knew fishing was special to you, because of your dad and childhood. Maybe now" he takes it from your hands, carefully putting it around your neck, "it can also be our special thing"

Joel sees the scene unfold in front of him, his grip tight on the cloth of his jeans until it's white. His jaw clenches at the affection display; all he sees is red.

"What about that one?" your mom points out Joel's present. A pit of nerves forms in your stomach. "I don't remember seeing it there"

Before you can grab it, your dad moves faster, examining the box on his hands.

"It's Joel's" he makes a pause, "for y/n"

You pretend to be shocked, and you can tell Nick tenses at your side.

"You didn't tell me you were close"

"Used to" you correct quickly, despite the knot on your throat. "Not anymore"

"He still got you a present, though"

You don't get to answer because your dad leaves the box on your lap.

"Open it" it's soft but feels threathing for some reason, "I'm curious"

Joel's resting hands tremble as much as yours while you open the present. You reveal the simple white box under the wrap, opening it up.

Your voice comes out shaky as you call his name. And he can see it: the muffled laughters on the shed, the warmth of the cabin's fire, the fogged up windows of his car, the bruises on your tits and that voice, so vulnerable, he can see you on his porch, saying those three words that terrified him so much, his solution was breaking your heart.

"What is it?" your dad asks.

"It's a scarf" the fabric tickles your fingers that wander through the loose strands.

You remember it all too well.

"Oh, it's vintage!" your mom comments when she sees the worn-out aspect.

But just as your affair with Joel, you keep the secret of it's real owner.

"It's perfect" you mutter, remembering better times: ones where he'd wrap the scarf colored as the leaves on the ground around your neck, covering bruises he'd just made while you joked you'd steal it, and Joel would say he'd just let you, that it looked better on you anyway.

You've forgotten the good, so used to thinking of Joel at your worst, like a punishment to endure and sink your shipwreck even deeper. You felt lost, replaying memories that seemed stuck on a loop. Since last december, all you've known is pain; creeping up through the cracks in your fleeting happiness, one you've tried to find to no avail. One day, past the curses and cries, maybe there'll be happiness. But as for now, that day seems terribly far.

As he sees your teary gaze, Joel often wonders were it went wrong. When did hurt was all you had for him in that gaze of yours he can't bare to look that long, not before he's reliving all those seasons by your side, replaying his footsteps on the snow, grass, water and fallen leaves, trying to find the one where it all went wrong. The torture he now wears like a second skin, his agony painted words addressed to the fire of a house that feels so empty and alone.

"We should continue" your dad speaks over the silence, "there are still many presents left"

The night moves slowly, and the scarf you've chosen to wear is now suffocating around your neck. But you can't take it off. This is the closest you've been to Joel on a year; it still smells like him. As the presents run out, you excuse yourself early to bed, only to wake up again in the middle of the night. You want to pee, so you exit your room and walk to the bathroom, your bare feet against the cold wood sending shivers down your spine that only seem to augment when you walk past his door, next to the bathroom. After being done, you splash some water on your face, as if that would make some sense get to you.

"What are you doing?" you ask yourself in the mirror. Your tired reflection stares back at you, in silence.

You open the door, ready to go back to bed when a hand covers your mouth and shoves you inside.

"Don't scream" your cries go muffled against his hand, the calloused digits pressing against your soft skin, "wanna wake 'em up?"

You shake your head, so he lets your mouth free.

"Joel" you call out, but he's facing the door, his back all you see. No sound can be heard, aside from his uneven breaths.

"I'm sorry" he says, and then you hear the small click of the door's lock.

"What the hell?"

This time, he faces you, but his movements are so quick you don't register his lips on yours until it's too late. He kisses you like a starved man who hasn't had a meal in years, eating you out while your body acts up on it's own, the urgency embarrasing even.

"No" you pull back. Your mind screams in guilt at how much you want this, and that's all you can hear aside from his ragged breaths.

"No?"

"It isn't fair"

"To lover boy out there?" he teases, "I know he ain't treating you right, or ya' wouldn't look me the way ya' do"

"Don't, Joel" your tone is icy, "Nick treats me better than you ever could"

He laughs, darkly. "You know I ain't meant that" he corners you against the sink, the material cold against your bare legs; you don't sleep with nothing but an oversized t-shirt, despite the weather.

"Riddle me this, sugar: if he treats you so well, why are you so fucking wet?"

Your heart beats so fast you fear you'll die. He gets closer, his hot breathe prickling against your ear.

"It takes a man to please a woman" he tucks a loose strand behind your ear, "and I ain't leaving my baby displeased"

His fingers pull down the panties until your clit is exposed.

"Look at 'er" he traces a teasing finger over the puffy skin, coated on your slick "missed me, didn't she? Gonna treat 'er so good, she won't ever feel lonely again"

He softly kisses your neck, the trepidation and regret tying your stomach in knots.

Joel teases your needy core with his finger.

"Tell you somethin', sugar" Joel finds it hard to hide his adoration, "I missed 'er too"

He stares into your eyes while pushing two rough fingers inside your cunt. You bite your lip, holding back your moans.

"Need summ help?" he kisses you roughly, smirking when he feels your shaky breath against his lips. He pushes them in and out faster, making your walls squeeze tightly around his fingers.

"Did he ever have you comin' this fast? I'ont think so" he whispers against your neck. You whisper his name through labored breaths, making a smug smile adorn his features. "Good girl"

He proceeds to kneel down, despite the creak of his bones. You see him leave a trail of kisses down your thighs, your legs opening wider in response. His tongue gives rapid flickers against your sensitive bud, aware of the lack of time. He slurps the pulsing cunt, his head moving back and forth while he sucks, coating his moustache on your juices. Joel goes back to the quick movements, tongue knowing your spots and twisting fingers as aid, causing your back to arch.

"Fuck" you curse as you come, gripping the sink a bit too tight.

Joel then pulls away and places his fingers coated in your arousal in his mouth and licks them. He sees the obscene display in the fogged mirror, satisfied.

"Goodnight, sugar" Joel bids goodbye like it's nothing, kissing your lips that taste like you. "Still as sweet as ever"

It's New Year's Eve.

"You're leaving?" you sound so sad, Joel can't help but scoff. In the end, he'd stayed long after the storm had passed, your father arguing holidays weren't meant to be spent alone. So he stayed.

And now, Nick is leaving.

"I'm sorry" he apologizes for the millionth time, "but granny is sick. I don't know if she'll make it another year, so say the doctors. I would love to stay, really, but I have to be with her"

You understand, having lost your grandad years ago. But that doesn't mean you're okay with it: Nick leaving means a clear path for Joel, who didn't stop with him sleeping next room, and certainly won't now, despite not having interacted with you since he ate you out on the bathroom.

He pulls you into a long hug and a kiss that doesn't feel the same anymore. "Will you be okay?"

"Yeah" you nod, "I'll miss you though"

"Well, I'll be all yours when you get back"

You smile but it doesn't reach your eyes.

"See you, y/n. I love you"

Your lips purse after you utter those three words back.

Later at night, the house is filled with guests. The lively environment is restored, and you feel less confined to Joel's claws, so many faces to speak and distract yourself with, compared to Christmas and the past couple of days. You clutch the marlin charm tightly, mind busy wandering to places it shouldn't. Joel stares at you from across the room, eyes trained on you as he sips his drink calmly, like he's won; you don't know why he's keeping score if he already knows it. You wander off to the kitchen, and Joel follows you.

"You have to stop" you speak as soon as he enters, aware he would follow you.

"I ain't do shit"

You turn around, facing him. "Bullshit, Joel"

"Tell me, what'd I do?" he comes closer, and despite your erratic heart and fear, you stay still; challenging.

"You did this, Joel" his expression falters for a second, the weight of last december's crimes dawning on him. "Don't try to make me feel guilty"

"I ain't. That wasn't your fault" he sighs, breath dragging long like a cigarrette. "But this" he motions with his hands the reduced distance, "this it is"

Your breath hitches.

"We can't keep doing this, Joel. Nick doesn't deserve it"

He pins you against the counter with force, gripping the skin of your wrists until you're sure you'll get a bruise. Joel's eyes darken at the thought of your frail and soft body under his rough figure and belly, his strength and your weakness making the job of putting you under his will, so much easier.

"Don't say his name" he whispers, his breath laced with alcohol, "he ain't here anymore. Ain't nothing to stop me now, right, sugar?" Joel purrs as he steps towards you, taking your face in his hands before starting a heated kiss, making you stumble.

This was so wrong, but it felt so right, the missing pieces falling like dominoes.

He was your pain divine: you needed his hurt to bleed and feel alive again. Maybe the red of the blood and the blue of your sadness could paint your darkest grey skies with a happiness you've craved since you lost him.

"Tell me to stop" Joel whispers, tempting like a devil as he kisses down your neck, littering it with hickeys.

"Don't"

Next thing you know, you're excusing yourself upstairs and then Joel goes missing too, both inside of your bedroom.

Your dress was the first thing to go.

"Wear it for me?" you're about to answer, lips pursing, but he cuts you off, "and don't lie, sugar. Don't get too used to the bad girl schtick"

"I only wore this dress so you could take it off"

He kisses you desperately, legs wrapped around his waist while he carries you to bed, and the memories of your first flood you as he drops you down to your back, watching the way you bounce. He has you just like he wanted: moaning his name while he leaves tender kisses on the soft bare flesh.

"Joel-" you gasp. Despite the chatter downstairs and music, you try to remain low as he wraps his lips around your nipples. He then moves to your breasts, covering them with his kisses and hickeys. He hadn't touched a woman ever since you left, the feeling of the rosy innocent skin on his rough teeth making him loose all common sense, the real thing even better than what he would try to conjure when he fucked himself in the bathroom at the memory of you.

He groans when he feels your hands roaming over his back, nails digging on the scarred skin.

"Someone's eager" he teases, seeing your damp underwear. "Is this 'cause of me?" you don't answer, too busy removing the cloth, only for his strong fingers to grab you and stop you. "Don't be shy, answer baby. We got a whole new year, yeah?"

"I need you Joel" you whine, not laughing at the joke "cut the crap"

He pushes you gently back down to the bed. "So needy sugar, want me to help ya'?"

You eagerly nod, making him laugh. But there's no mock, only love behind the sound.

"Will you let this old man take care of ya', pretty baby? Just use your words, and I'll be all y'rs"

"Do it, Joel. Just do it"

You gasp as your folds begin to be prodded open by the fat head of Joel's cock. You curse, feeling him push in just the tip, the sweet burn of your walls welcoming his size making you grab his arms that stand at the sides of your body, caging you in.

His tummy pushes against your stomach as he adjusts himself, his weight sinking your body on the creaking matress.

"'S just the tip, ready for the whole thing?"

You needed him, all of him.

"Yes, Joel. I want you" You say and he pushes in slowly, feeling his cock fill up every empty space that craved for him.

You squeeze your eyes shut as his hips roll back pulling out about halfway before rocking back in. His sloppy thrusts pick up a familiar pace that makes you moan and beg for more, head falling against the sheets as his pace speds up until he's fucking you senseless.

Joel's brain goes blank at the sight of you creaming on his dick and the obscene sounds leaving your pretty mouth. Did he really give this up? He'd definitely go back in time and slap the fuck out of his past self, because there is simply nothing better than having you under him, screaming his name like that's all you can ever say.

"Does he fuck you like this, huh?" Joel angles his hips, resuming his brutal pace. Your body jolts with each snap. "Is he enough for you?"

"Yes" his stomach drops, dark eyes now hesitant, "but he isn't you"

He pushes himself back in, your eyes fluttering shut almost immediately.

"Tell me you'll leave him, y/n. Look me in the eyes and tell me who ya' really belong to"

Your eyes snap open at the possesiveness clashed with jealousy that drips from his sweat-soaked lips.

The confession falls easily, as meant to be. "Yours, Joel. Always was and will be"

He could cum just at the sight of your loving doe eyes.

Downstairs, the countdown begins, but in your room, all you can hear are his soft groans and your pathetic whimpers, and if the people would stop shouting, you could probably hear the squelch of your dripping cunt sucking in his girth with each thrust.

After a few more erratic thrusts, you feel his warm cum fill you up. Joel was always obsessed with how his cum seeped out of you and around his cock. Without thinking, his rough fingers push deep in you, making you yelp as he makes sure he isn't wasting a drop behind.

The countdown ends, and fireworks erupt outside as your head rests on the crook of his sweat covered neck.

"I love ya', sugar" those words you thought you imagined that one time, now real, so goddamn real his voice quivers and eyes get tearful with grief, "'S okay if ya' don't say it. I just wanted you to hear 'em. 'M just tired of wastin' my time"

He wraps your lips with his with tenderness you had only dreamed of. There is still a lot to talk and heal, but this time, his arms hold you like a promise. And you let yourself believe it.

Y/n's New Years' purposes: 1. Break up with Nick 2. Try to explain this seasonal mess to mom and dad 3. At last, try to be happy

[ringneckedpheasant]

[retroaria]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 boyfriend nagi.ᐟᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

⊹ ࣪ ˖ another set of bf headcanons finally !! ⊹ ࣪ ˖

warnings: this is post Blue Lock, not a high school!au

BLUE LOCK M.LIST | enjoy 🌵 - aria

pre-boyfriend!nagi who spends weeks, months even, questioning what exactly it is he feels for you because he just can’t wrap his head around it. doesn’t know why his heart throbs when you say his name, why his hands get sweaty when you sit close to him, why he feels the need to lie about certain things to make himself look better, why he feels the constant urge to just fall into your arms and lay there forever.

pre-boyfriend!nagi who goes to Reo for advice on the matter only to be called an idiot and have his own feelings explained to him at his big age

pre-boyfriend!nagi who now can associate those feelings with wanting a relationship with you, it’s all he thinks about. he yearns for you so bad. wants to have you in his arms, nap with you, teach you how to play games, let you cook for him (and feed him lol), introduce you to choki, show you all his cool soccer moves. it makes him really sad that he can’t just have you already, and it’s gonna be a hassle to ask you out.

pre-boyfriend!nagi who isn’t ready to ask you out but still wants to share his affections with you. He’s very touchy, always hugging you, leaning on your shoulder, brushing strands of hair out of your face so he can see your eyes. Asks you to hang out with him almost every day, even if he knows you’re gonna be busy, he still has to ask just in case you can.

pre-boyfriend!nagi who realizes that holding his feelings in is way more of a hassle than confessing so he does exactly that. He’s very straightforward about it. “Hey, I’ve liked you for a while now. Wanna go on a date?”. If you say yes he’d probably just kiss you on the spot. He hasn’t even taken you on the first date yet but in his head you guys are already dating.

pre-boyfriend!nagi who takes you to an arcade on the first date, beats you at every game, but then wins you a bunch of claw machine stuffies to make up for it.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

boyfriend!nagi who asks you to come live with him early on the relationship. He has such a straightforward mindset that he can’t wrap his head around how you guys are together but not “together”, as in together all the time (if that makes sense). He has to learn the concept of personal space in a relationship and eventually even after you guys start living together understands why he can’t cling to you every second of every day. He’ll still try sometimes and gets sad when you go off to do your own thing but gets over it once he’s preoccupied watching matches or playing games.

boyfriend!nagi who gets jealous very easily, but not in the stereotypical sense. He doesn’t get mad or aggressive when he’s jealous but he’s totally the type to deadpan you with “do you not love me anymore?” If he sees you giving anyone else more attention than him. This feeling he gets isn’t just towards guys or even people your age, it’s anyone. “Why were you talking to that old woman at the store for so long? I was right there.” “Nagi, she was ringing us up, she’s a cashier, it’s her job.” He actually has very little reaction to other guys flirting with you because he simply thinks that’s a stupid thing for them to do and is confident you’ll reject them.

boyfriend!nagi who lets you dress him up, style his hair, do his makeup for fun, would honestly let you give him a tattoo if you really wanted to. His mind doesn’t have negative preconceived notions about many things, and he thinks it’s adorable watching you have fun with him. Really likes when you do his hair just so he can feel your hands on his scalp. Same with doing his makeup, thinks both activities are relaxing and hassle free bonding moments for you two. All he has to do is sit there and look pretty.

boyfriend!nagi who mentions you unconsciously all the time. Along with football and video games, you’re a focal point of his life and you’ve become integrated in almost everything he does or thinks about. So much so that when responding to questions and such, he’ll say “we” more often than ”I”. “Nagi, did you get a chance to watch that match last week?” / “Yeah we watched it the other night.” / “There’s this new manga that just came out I think you’d be into it Nagi.” / “Oh alright, we’ll definitely check it out.”

boyfriend!nagi who drops the love bomb very early on because if he had feelings for you strong enough to even notice or care about, he’s confident it has to be love. He has different variations of “I love you”, the most commonly used ones are groggy and drawn out, “love youuuu~” or “Mhmm, love.” It’s a pet name and a confession all in one, verbal shortcuts make life easier (nagi logic 101). When he really wants you to hear it, he’ll say “I love you” in full but repeatedly. Either while he’s burying his face in the crook of your neck or following you around the house begging you to forgive him for sleeping all day instead of the chores you asked him to do.

boyfriend!nagi who wants to put more and more effort into himself and his lifestyle now that he has you. He wants to be the best he can be, give you everything you want and need, show his love for you in a million different ways. It’s so bad that he sometimes cries to himself thinking about all the ways he might mess up the relationship, he doesn’t know what he would do if you left him, he’d just feel so empty. :((

boyfriend!nagi who clings to you at every moment that he can, his heart stings at the feeling you leaving his grasp even if it’s just for a moment.

boyfriend!nagi who is absolutely whipped and unafraid to admit it. He’s so open and honest about his feelings with you because it’s a pain to not be able to tell you things. Is constantly reminding you how much he thinks about you and yearns for you. So much love with this boy <3

[valerinaswriting]

a man like him.

synopsis: joel overhears young survivors question his ability to satisfy y/n, so he gives them many reasons to never question his abilities again.

pairing: joel miller x female reader

warnings: established relationship, possessive!joel, age gap (reader is in her early 20’s), oral sex (reader receiving), unprotected sex, rough sex, exhibitionism, swearing, choking, multiple orgasms.

joel never used to be the possessive type until you landed in his grasp. although he knew nobody could ever steal you from him, it was a quiet fear of his. that you’d wake up one day and wonder what the hell you’re doing with such an old man. but no matter how many times you’d reassure him, there was always something that threw him back into the crippling mindset.

like today. he overheard a conversation from two boys around your age that made his blood boil.

“look at her, how the hell did that old prick manage to pull her?” the young man says to his friend, shaking his head in what appeared to be disbelief as he watched you speak to one of the many friends you’d made at the boston QZ.

“i know, i bet he doesn’t even fuck her right. what old guy even knows how to fuck? especially when it comes to someone young like her,” before the two could say anything else, you spotted joel standing behind the two and a delicate smile graced your face. the boys then turned around, finally noticing joel standing there. they went pale in the face as you approached. knowing that he’d definitely heard every word they said based off the angry look joel was giving them. he could truly be terrifying when he wanted to be. you’d seen that side of him many times, but never aimed at you of course. he had killed many people. you don’t know how many, he tells you not to ask.

you stood on your tiptoes as you pressed your lips to his cheek, not realizing his displeased expression until you’d moved your head back.

he was still staring at them.

“joel, is everything ok?” you asked, tone worried as you followed his gaze and set your eyes on the two men you hadn’t even noticed before. he didn’t respond, his large hand wrapped around your arm as he led you away from the area. not questioning a single thing as it was crystal clear something there was bothering him a significant amount.

once the two of you had made it back to the apartment, you turned to look at him once he’d closed the door.

“are you mad because they were looking at me? because you know i’d never even think to-” you attempted to explain.

“i know you wouldn’t.” joel interrupted, and your gaze softened.

“so what’s wrong?” you ask once again, approaching him slowly while looking into his eyes. he eventually met your eyes after a moment.

“nothing that you need to worry about, doll.” he reassured, resting his forehead against yours.

“alright,” you say, the same soft smile reappearing on your face. “i’m just gonna freshen up a little, ok?” you add, pressing a swift kiss to his lips before approaching the bathroom. joel sat down on his couch, hands rubbing his face as he tried to forget about what he’d heard. which was almost impossible considering he heard those exact voices outside his front door.

the anger began to rise once again as he got up from the couch and paced towards the door, opening it quickly and immediately spotting the same smug faces he was mentally murdering moments ago.

they both gulped, eyes wide as they stood in front of the front door a couple of meters from his. they quickly entered the apartment to avoid confrontation. joel stood there for a moment, wondering what the fuck they were doing in the apartment right next to his. before he could do anything else, your voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

“was someone at the door?” you ask, he turned his head to face you. looking at you adorned in one of his shirts. quietly admiring the way your body drowned in it.

“two boys just went into the apartment next door. was just wonderin what all the noise was.”

“the ones that you were giving the death stare to earlier?” you ask, a cheeky smile on your face. “i overheard them saying somethin about looking for a new place to stay not that long ago. i guess they found one.” you say, shrugging your shoulders as you stared at your boyfriend. he shook his head, trying to hide his displeasure to the information he’d just heard. “are ya gonna tell me why that bothers you or?”

“it doesn’t bother me,” he lies, their words repeating in his head again as he approaches and places his big hands on your waist. kissing your lips delicately. “just a little stressed i think,” he says as he places his mouth to your neck, the feeling of his rough stubble stabbing your skin in the most delicious way. you whined softly.

and that’s when he got the idea. the idea that would prove to those stupid boys just how good he fucks you. how stupid they were to underestimate his abilities and care when it came to your pleasure. he smirked against you, lips abusing your skin and his hot tongue trailing over your sensitive spots. his hands found your ass, squeezing your cheeks sadistically which caused a sudden gasp to escape your throat. normally, joel would place his hand over your mouth to keep you quiet in case people were around, the walls were paper thin, but this time he didn’t. you didn’t question it. you never questioned him.

“that’s it, let me hear your pretty sounds,” he says as he lifts you, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carries you to the bed.

he dropped you onto the mattress and hovered his frame over yours. his lips found yours once again, and you whined as his tongue slipped between yours. he knows how vocal you can be. even with his hand over your mouth or your head forcefully buried into the pillow, he can hear you crystal clear. he knew anyone nearby would be able to hear if he didn’t hush you, and that’s exactly what he wanted. for those stupid little pricks to hear how good he makes you feel. over and over.

his hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing the soft skin. you whined louder this time. you were so goddamn submissive under his touch, it drove him crazy.

he raised his stolen t-shirt up your body, exposing your torso as he lowered his head. trailing kisses all over your soft skin. you were addicted to the feeling of his stubble against you, he’d barely done anything and you were already a whimpering mess. his head trailed lower and lower. licking the skin above your panty line as he hooks his fingers into the edges of the fabric, effortlessly peeling them down your legs and throwing them off to the side.

he began peppering kisses to your inner thighs, the feeling his hot breath against your dripping cunt driving you wild.

“joel…” you whimpered loudly, legs trembling in suspense of the act that he was about to commit. you were expecting him to respond. something like “be patient” or “good girls know how to wait” but he didn’t, he latched his lips onto your clit, causing your back to arch off the bed. your hand flew to your mouth, biting down on the side to muffle your moans. but joel stopped.

“no, baby girl. let me hear you,” you nodded your head, staring down at him between your legs. noticing the glistening shine of your wetness on his chin under the dull lighting.

“good girl,” he said before diving back in. aggressively eating you out as he’s done many times before. tongue exploring every inch of your sex. your moans were quick to fill the room. your hands flew down to grasp at his salt and pepper colored hair, spreading your legs wider to give him as much access to you as possible.

“j-joel, i’m about to… i can feel it-” you whine breathlessly as your orgasm washed your words away. the sensation hitting you fast and hard as you convulse on the bed beneath him. loud whiny moans filling the room as you rode out your high.

he didn’t halt until your legs began twitching, licking up all of the cum you provided for him in exchange for the orgasm. he climbed back up your body slowly, leaving sloppy kisses up your stomach along the way.

he was proud of himself, knowing how good he could make you feel with little to no effort. enamored by the way your body reacted to his touches. he knew the boys would’ve heard everything he’d just done, but of course, he wasn’t satisfied just yet.

his hand wrapped it’s way back around your throat once his face aligned with yours, his stumble damp with your cum.

“all wet,” you said, smiling as your hand raised to his face. tracing along the wet area of his face. “wanna make somethin else wet too,” you added, moving the same hand between your bodies and palming his hardened cock over his jeans.

“where did you ever learn to be such a dirty girl?” he grunted, a slight smile on his face as he moved your hand and pinned it beside your head.

“we both know the answer to that,” you bit your lip as his grip tightened around your wrist, looking up at him through squinted eyes. he moved back to remove his shirt, licking your lips as he did so. you followed his steps and removed your own. clothes thrown carelessly to the floor.

he unbuckled his belt and pulled his jeans and underwear down, not bothering to completely remove the articles of clothing. he was getting impatient. he hovered over you once again, his large hands separating your thighs as far as they could go and lined himself up with your dripping entrance. he wasted no time, thrusting forward and impaling you with his cock with no warning. you screamed, hands flying to grasp his shoulders as he quickly set a brutal pace. your back arched off the mattress, pressing firmly against joels as he pounded into you.

“oh, f-fuck. joel!” you moaned, the wood of the bed frame clunking against the wall with each of his intense thrusts. he grunts into your ear sadistically, fingers leaving crescent shapes on your thigh as they dig into your skin.

“wanna feel you cumming around me, baby. think you can do that for me?” he asks, you nodded your head. tears dripping down your cheeks as the pleasure became too much for your body to cope with.

it didn’t take long for another orgasm to pulse through your body, legs trembling around joels torso as you chant his name. before you could process anything else, he’d flipped you onto your stomach. shoving his cock deep inside you once more as he held your hips to him. despite being extremely sensitive from your previous orgasms, you still craved more of him. your loud moans echoing off the walls as he took you from behind. you intentionally clenched your walls around him to coax an orgasm out of him. craving the feeling of his cum flooding into you.

you felt another orgasm approach as his thrusts became sloppy, indicating that he was also moments away from finishing.

“joel!” you moan, clutching the bedsheets below as the two of you came together. joel eventually stopped once your highs had subsided. he tiredly flipped you onto your back, tracing his rough fingers along your damp cheek.

“y’think anyone heard us?” you ask, voice breathy as your tired body rests comfortably beneath him.

“hard for ‘em not to,” he replies, tracing his finger along your bottom lip before placing a soft kiss there.

and it was safe to say they’d definitely heard based on the looks they were giving the two of you the following morning. joel smiled proudly, hand resting on your waist as the two of you walked past them, knowing he’d never have them questioning his abilities to pleasure his girl again.

[melancholyhigh]

dbf!leon omggggg i need more of him LMAOO

who has the voice like smarty does?

ft. dbf!leon x fem!reader

synopsis. your dad gets called into work early and asks leon to take care of you.

content. smut. 1.5k words. age gap, oral (both m & f receiving), dirty talk, unprotected p in v, doggy style.

note. thank you guys for requesting <333 i love old man leon sm.

masterlist. part one. part two. part three. i love your guys' feedback :))

You struggled to get to the kitchen. Your legs tremble, walking over, a reminder of your time with Leon last night. 

You’re in his black tee. His scent engulfs your senses. There’s a smile on your face as you think about him. His touch on your skin and his sweet voice replay in your mind. 

Pouring yourself a bowl of cereal, you don’t notice when your dad enters the room. His voice breaks your train of thought.

“Hey,” your dad says awkwardly. 

“Hey, Dad. Ya good?” You trail on, looking at him with scepticism. He looks nervous. He’s rarely like this. It scares you a little. 

He clears his throat before adding, “I need to tell you something, but promise you won’t get mad, ‘kay?”

“Yeah?” You nod your head. You doubt you’d keep the promise. 

“Ya know how I was at the DSO celebration last night? They want me to–” Before he can finish, you’re already protesting. 

“Come on! You said you wouldn’t do anything work-related while I’m here. The party was enough.” You’re mad, rightfully so. 

“You promised you wouldn’t get angry.” You scoff at his words. 

“Can’t they get someone else to do it? Don’t they know you’re on vacation?” You questioned. 

“Yes, but they need me.” He tries to explain. You needed him too. 

“Bullshit.” 

Your father can make you concerned. It fills you with anxiety each time he leaves for a mission, even while at your classes. You’re constantly worried for his safety. You’ve heard stories and seen the news. You don’t want Dad to be one of those reports on the papers for the wrong reasons. 

“I don’t need you worrying over me,” he sighs. “I’ll be fine, like all the other times.”

You’re getting ready to argue again that this is different. You’re spending your vacation with your dad to keep him company, but he’s too busy leaving you for a work call.

“I’ll ask Leon to keep ya company,” he continued, and all the words on your tongue died. “I know how much you wanted to spend your break with your old man. I’m sure Leon’ll be up to it.” 

You knew he’d do more than keep you company. The offer seems too good to be true. All alone with Leon? Did your dad know what would happen? It still doesn’t change that you’re still furious with him. 

“And I don’t want you freaking out. Leon will help with what you need.” Your dad adds.

“Whatever,” you mumble. “Please, don’t die.” 

Your dad laughs, but you’re not joking. He moves to your side of the island’s counter and wraps his arms around you for a hug, kissing your forehead. 

“I love ya too.”

–-

Your dad left a day later for his ‘important’ mission. He tells you Leon will check up on you once in a while. Generally, you’d be annoyed if your dad asked someone to look after you like a child, but Leon is the one checking up on you, so you don’t mind.

There’s a knock, and you open the door revealing Leon with a grin and some takeout. He presses his lips to your cheek and then enters the house placing the food on the coffee table in the living room. He sits on the couch, and you join him. 

“You okay, sweetheart?” His voice makes your heart flutter. 

“I’m better now since you’re here, Lee.” You say, moving closer to him, craving his comforting touch. A small smile forms on his lips at the nickname, though he doubts you’re fine.

Leon notes your furrowed brows and the slight frown that pulls at the corner of your lips. He pulls you onto his lap, kissing your lips. His hands are on your hips, squeezing softly.  

“I don’t think you’re all that good, sweet girl. Want me to help you take your mind off things?”

You wouldn’t have guessed Leon taking care of you would have involved him teaching you to take his cock down your throat in the living room of all places. You shouldn’t be surprised that he’s taking advantage of your father’s absence.

Your knees are on a soft throw pillow, preventing them from the wooden floor. Leon’s pants and boxers are down to his ankles as he sits on the couch, stroking his erection. Your eyes dart from his pretty face to his dick, leaking precum down the shaft. The low groans that leave him have you dripping. 

“Lick it, angel,” he huffs, entangling his hand in your hair and guiding you to his throbbing cock. 

Your tongue runs along the veins of his cock, tasting the precum that drips down onto his shaft. You’re whining at his taste, moving your tongue to the underside of the sensitive head before sucking on the tip. 

Throwing his head back, Leon lets out a loud groan, bucking his hips into your warm mouth. You take more of him until he hits the back of your throat, and a wet gag escapes you. He’s holding back from fucking your throat ‘til all you can think of is his cock. 

“Atta girl. You love my cock down your throat, don’t you?” He moans, bucking his hips up, and you whimper, muffled by his fat cock. The vibrations run along his swollen cock, sending a shiver down his spine. 

You began to bob your head up and down him, peering up at him through your lashes, clumped together by your tears. Leon does nothing to prevent the loud moans that leave him. 

“You’re my pretty little cockslut,” he gasps. His lips part, and a series of moans escape him. You swallow around him and snap your eyes shut. 

Leon’s getting close to his release. He guides your mouth off his cock, whining softly when your teeth graze the sensitive flesh of his cock. He admires your appearance once you’re off his cock. Drool spilling past your lips, lips swollen and slicked with spit. Your eyelashes flutter open. You’re looking up at him, awaiting his next move. 

“Stick your fucking tongue out,” he grunts, and you comply. He tugs on his cock covered with your spit chasing his orgasm, his head thrown back as his come spurts out, coating your tongue and pretty face with his cum. He groans as he watches you swallow it. 

“Good girl.” He pants. “C’mere.”

You’re quick to listen to him, moving from the spot on the floor to his lap, your pussy flushed against his surprisingly half-hard dick. He brings you into a sloppy kiss, tasting his salty cum on your tongue before moving away from you, gasping.

“Mhm, good girls deserve rewards, right, baby?” He’s taking your clothes off, leaving you with nothing on right before his eyes. He feels how warm your cunt is, dripping onto him. 

“Since you’ve been so good, ‘m gonna eat this pretty pussy out.”

You’re on your knees, and your face squished up against the throw pillows on the couch. Your arousal leaks down your thighs as Leon slurps at your drenched cunt. His moans are dampened by your pussy. He’s shamelessly eating you out to get his cock fully hardened again. 

Your thighs spread wide, quivering as Leon sucks on your clit. You are robbed of your climax as Leon pulls away, your slick mixed with his saliva. Your whines aren’t in vain because soon after, his dick enters your cunt slowly.

“Want you t’cum on my cock, sweetheart,” he slurs. “Fuck you’re so wet.”

He’s pistoning his dick in your pussy. He pulls out of your cunt before swiftly entering into you again, over and over. Your back is arched, your ass flushed against his pelvis. The sound of your skin making contact fills the room alongside Leon’s whorish moans. 

Leon’s bulky wrap around you, under your tits, as he pulls your back up against his firm chest, he bucks his hips up into you, his breath tickling your ear.

“Let me hear you, pretty girl,” he huffs, moving his other hand to your clit, rubbing the sensitive bud. Your walls clench around him, hugging him so well. Your whimpering increasing in volume. 

“You feel so good, Lee.” You’re sobbing as you feel the tip of Leon’s cock kissing your cervix sweetly. You’re close to coming. Your legs shake with each thrust of Leon’s hips. Your mind filled with Leon and how good he’s making you feel, only manage to gasp his name out. 

“Come for me, baby.” He groans into your ear as he rams his cock inside you.

Your mind goes blank with pleasure. Your cunt pulsing around Leon from your orgasm. He comes undone, pulling out and spilling onto your back. 

Leon moves his hand from under you, and you collapse onto the soft cushioning of the couch. His cum dripped from your back to the sofa. You feel the silky cloth of Leon’s tee as he wipes his cum off your back. You also feel his soft lips against you, trailing kisses on the flushed skin.

“You did so well for me, sweetheart.”

[swarvey]

when you've moved on | elliott x gn!reader | part two

summary -> he slowly lost interest in you after you got married. now he watches you fall back in love with someone else. warnings -> very slight mention of nsfw, implied age gap, mainly just angst! wc -> 1106

a/n: i swear i keep trying to write for the bachelorettes but then get inspired with an idea for the bachelors :') anyways have this, decided to do elliott since he's "so much older and wiser" iykyk.

this was inspired by the dialogue you get when your hearts with your sdv spouse gets low, except i flipped the tables :) lmk if you guys want to see this as a series!!

part one -> the way i loved you (sebastian)

tolerate it -> "what would you do if i break free and leave us in ruins?"

elliott's pen hovers over the page in front of him, unmoving for the past ten minutes now. his grip tightens, knuckles white in frustration as he finally releases it, falling back in his chair with his eyes closed as it clatters onto his table.

his writer's block has never been worse, and it's because all he can think of is you.

more so, his loss of you.

no matter how many times he replays the scenario in his head, he can't make sense of how he lost you. he still remembers his wedding day, how he couldn't help but tear up at the sight of you approaching him down the aisle.

"you said you wouldn't cry," you'd teased him.

"i said i would try, my dear," he responded, touching your cheek gently, "but how can i not? your beauty is otherworldly today."

he remembers his vows, his promise to always be by your side. he remembers kissing you like his life depended on it. he remembers going home with you that night, in disbelief that he could finally call you his as he pulled his hair into a bun, mermaid's pendant hitting his bare chest as he dragged you to the bedroom.

"i love you, y/n," he'd said after, both of you panting in exhaustion and satisfaction beside each other. "more than anything else in this universe. i wouldn't trade you for a hundred iridium bars."

you'd laughed, turning your head to look at him with shining eyes and pink cheeks. "really? how about a thousand?"

"nor a thousand."

"ten thousand?"

"not even ten thousand bars, no."

". . . how about a hundred thousand?"

"no, not even a hundred thousand bars!" he'd turned to you then, wide-eyed and holding back a grin at the sight of your scheming gaze. "my love, let's be reasonable—"

"what about a million bars?"

"wha . . . a million bars of pure iridium . . . ? dear, don't make me do this . . ."

"a-ha!" you'd said, sitting up in bed suddenly. "so you would!"

"i never said such a thing!"

at the sight of his pout, you had sprawled yourself on top of him, planting a kiss on his nose as he looked down at you with a smile.

"i love you, too, el."

elliott sighs, his head falling forward into his hand. one part of him wishes to hear you utter those words again; the other prays he'll one day forget you ever said them.

the first few seasons after the wedding had been dreamlike — elliott had never felt so full of life before. it was like being with you had opened his eyes to how colorful and bright the world could be. sometimes he would wake up before you and admire your sleeping figure, a soft smile appearing on his lips every time he caught a glimpse of your necklace.

he doesn't remember when the spark began to fade, though.

no, he only recalls the days he began to leave the farm early in the morning to spend time alone in his old cabin on the beach, coming back only for dinner. the two of you would eat quietly, sitting at opposite ends of the table. he would ask and answer questions shortly, mainly focusing on the dull, uninspiring feeling he seemed to get every time he was in your shared house.

he never noticed the sad look filling your eyes, begging him to pay attention to you, to show you the love he once had for you. he paid no mind to how your face lit up every time he came home, only to deflate as he walked past you. he never even thought about how your conversations with him had turned one-sided, as he would spill his troubles to you without even giving you a chance to share yours.

not until it was too late, that is.

". . . do you still love me?"

it was a question he never thought he would hear from you, and yet he'd unknowingly driven you to that point. elliott had never heard silence so loud until then, realizing that, for some reason, he couldn't answer your question.

"answer me, elliott," you'd said, voice wavering as he uneasily met your eyes. "i need to know this. i feel like you've been treating me like a kid lately — when i talk to you, i can barely get a word out without you lecturing me. you're barely home to even do that anymore."

he scoffed. "please, y/n, be reasonable," he had replied, the same words he had said that night after professing his love to you. "i've simply been a bit caught up lately, that's all. i need my own time to write."

"seriously? that's what you're going to say?" you shook your head, crossing your arms as you looked at him pleadingly. "why are you acting like this? do you seriously think being a bit older than me justifies how you've been treating me?"

"that has nothing to do with our situation," he snapped sharply, then sighed. "please, can we go to bed? i'm tired of this." he started towards the bedroom door, leaving you behind him.

"you never answered my question."

he stopped.

"it's okay, el," you'd whispered. "i had a feeling i already knew. i was just hoping you would at least be able to tell me."

so now, here he is. unable to finish the sequel to his novel because he'd dedicated the first one to you, and what's the point of writing a second one if you're no longer by his side?

what's the point if you have sebastian now, who spends every second with you? who is much younger than him and rides a motorcycle? who gives you a mermaid's pendant — a year after the two of you separated, by the way — and makes sure the entire town can make it to your wedding?

he doesn't know what you see in him. sure, his passion for music is a bit admirable, but can he really treat you properly? there's no way seb can make you smile, make you laugh, make you cry out of pure joy or pleasure like he did.

elliott had attended the wedding, of course, so he could make sure you were happy.

he most certainly wasn't hoping to see a twinge of hesitation, maybe even regret in your eyes as you walked down the aisle again.

as elliott abandons his writing and heads out the doorway of his cabin, the image of you happier than he'd ever seen you while passionately kissing sebastian is burned into his mind.

you are no longer his, and it's entirely his fault.

[elorawrites]

raising a kid with ellie [ headcanons ]

pairing: farmhouse!ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: what it'd be the like to raise a kid with ellie after moving to the farmhouse just miles from jackson.

warnings: nothing crazy, this is just a whole bunch of fluff! proofread-ish.

author's note: was in dire need of making something with ellie as a parent!! this is my first hc, so it might not be the best. hope you enjoy nonetheless!

wc: 0.8k

there would definitely be a point in time after living on all that land, with just you, ellie, and the sheep, things would grow to be a little quiet for the both of you.

you would be the first one to bring the idea up to ellie, it'd be during one of those mornings the two of you decided to spend a little more time in bed, rolling around in the sheets together before you pretty much asked her on a whim:

"hey els, what do you think of having a baby?"

your question didn't necessarily surprise ellie. she knew from past conversations that eventually, the two of you would like to have your own little family. the idea has been on both of your minds a lot more than usual, not that either of you were aware of that about other.

ellie would tease you about it at first, laughing at your protests for her to be serious as she playfully nipped at the skin of your neck and squeezed your hips.

"seems like someone caught a case of baby fever, hm?" ellie continued to tease you as you whined, grasping at the girl's face and pulling her away from your neck to look at her.

"ellie, i'm serious–" you started to speak, before quickly being interrupted by the feeling of her lips on your own. you melted into the kiss, delighted hums coming from ellie as she felt you reciprocate before pulling away just slightly.

"i'm serious too, babe." her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper as her green eyes holding an unwavering stare, "let's have a baby."

you guys would work like madmen trying to baby-proof the house. ellie took on all the handiwork, softening out any harsh corners and securing locks to doors and cabinets. you took care of supplies you were sure would come in handy: clothes, food, diapers, and toys.

you decided the best thing to do would be to go back to jackson and adopt one of the kids who were left without parents. it was the safest option, and ellie didn't want to think of all the potential risks and dangers of you being pregnant in this kind of world.

i feel like ellie would make a connection with one of the younger kids, around toddler age, almost immediately.

you two would visit the makeshift orphanage any chance you got to be with them, and ellie would spend the whole trip home talking about those few hours in jackson

(which you were there for, but you would listen anyway because ellie was just so happy)

ellie would pick back up on the guitar after a while, finally ready to replace any old memories with new ones she'll create with her family.

she would absolutely teach your kid how to play guitar early on.

perhaps maybe a little too early..

"babe, come look at this! i think we might have a future rockstar on our hands." ellie's voice called to you from the living room, leaving you to abandon the dishes to follow your girlfriend's voice. the sight you walked in to see made your heart swell with so much love, you swore it would start pouring from your orifices or something.

there ellie sat on the sofa, baby on her lap with wide eyes as they watched her strum on the strings of joel's her old guitar, their hands eagerly pulling at the chords and babbling excitedly as it made a faint plucking sound.

ellie's gazed shifted between you and the baby with a grin you were sure was reasoning the room got a little brighter.

you wouldn't dare tell ellie that you think she might be getting a little ahead of herself, the sight of her cooing to your child about how she would teach them all the songs she knew, or even make a little family band.

ellie and you made sure your little one wasn't anything less than entertained.

i can imagine you sitting out on the porch with your baby, telling them all sorts of stories about your lives before you were introduced to each other.

ellie would pull out her comics or astronomy books and read pages to them in such an animated manner, always pausing between pages to gauge the baby's reactions

(they were always smiling and entertained with her)

i just feel like after time, you both would be laying in bed one night, curled up into each other now that your child was old enough to have their own room, just reminiscing.

definitely a full circle moment with this, ellie just admiring you and how much of an amazing mother you are, how blessed she is to be able to actually raise a family with someone like you

even though your kid was still young, the idea of you being the mother of ellie's children just put her in overdrive, her mind going haywire as she asked you on a whim:

"what do you say we have another baby?" she'd ask you in between hushed kisses, arms enveloped in each other as you leaned back to look at her with surprise, lips quirking up into a smirk.

"who has the baby fever now, huh?"

[blingblong55]

Did you care?- König

Part 1 is here

F!Reader, angst, no happy ending, cheating

"König!" you laugh, the waves of the warm summer ocean crashing against you. His family had invited you with them that summer, the first girl he ever brought home. He never told you that though. "Oh my Liebling." he laughs with you, taking you deeper into the ocean. It was then that he knew how strong love can be. Hours later, as you chased his little nieces and nephew along the shore, his family told him something he still remembers.

The accident, that is when you knew he still cared. At the age of 37, that is when he became a father to a woman he never loved. A car crash and stitches, that is what brought you to him. A father and a boyfriend, never to marry anyone else that isn't you, that is what made him a coward to his girlfriend's family. "R/N, König has gotten into a car accident." his mother called you around 2 am, her voice so tired and filled with fear. You dropped everything, including the late-night dinner you were having with your then-partner.

"Love, where are you going?" he questioned you. "A friend needs me, she...she broke up with her boyfriend and she needs me." The first of many lies you told to keep him safe. You didn't cheat but you lied to visit the guy you will always love. As you drove to the hospital, tears ran down your face. It was fear, regret and shame. "Hallo, ich muss einen Patienten finden-"

"R/N." his mother came rushing to you, tears on her face. You hugged her and walked with her to the waiting area. His father was there as well, you hugged him too and after minutes of breaks and cries, the story lay in your hands. The mother of his child ran away with his kid, he begged and cried for her to return. She lost their kid, got arrested and after a week of looking, he heard his child was found. One drunk driver, that is all it took to have you sit there, holding the hand of his forlorn mother. His child was under the custody of the police and he was in a grey room.

"You think you'll ever end up marrying me, R/N?" he looked over at you as you hung up decorations for Christmas. "I don't see myself ever marrying and there are times I fear of it. Just know this, I know I am meant for someone." He nods and keeps the ring in his pocket tucked away. "Yeah." was all he answered. You looked at him as he looked away at some decoration.

"For you, that is who I am meant for. I don't want a ring, a dress or a ceremony, I want this, this life you and I already have." you wished to say but those words never came out. Month after month you gave him clear clues that you wanted to be the one he lived with, old and grey.

You didn't even notice when his parents had gone to his room. You sat and stared at the white wall. The two years and a half that you spent trying to forget him all come crashing down. One phone call from his mother and you were there at his disposal. Many ask, what parts of life flash before someone as they near their possible death? For him it was you. The day at the beach, Christmas, the drunk karaoke, silly argument over movies. "Harry and Sally stayed together!" you protested. "Mein Liebling, Harry and Sally are two of the people I know will not make it to old age together. It was a kiss, maybe Sally left after that."

The one thing that he knew flashed before his eyes was the conversation at the beach years ago. Once you were let into his room, you sat by his bed. Parents out in the hallways, you held his hand. Fear was to die alone but this image was the current fear. Tears ran down your face, it didn't matter that he cheated years ago, that you two hadn't spoken since but what mattered was him now. You stoked his hair and kissed his forehead with trembling lips. Before, you couldn't stand him, but he was in this world alive and that brought you tranquillity. The thought of him no longer in it, that was the fear. Who cared if he moved on, he was alive, healthy and happy.

The muse to the blues you whistled, the kiss he gave you on the mysterious bruise, the cliche dance in the kitchen at midnight, and now you sit there, looking at his scarred face. You whispered for only him to hear, "That evening in December, when you were going to propose, I would've said yes, I was meant for someone, remember?" You stood up and walked out of the room. "R/N, will you stay?" His father asks. "I'm sorry, I have to meet someone early in the morning but keep me updated." You kissed his father's cheek and hugged his mother.

Meanwhile, König lay in that bed, eyes teary as he heard your confession. The ring he wanted to give you was on a chain that hung by his neck. Always to be by his heart. "Liebling." he whispers. "I want to marry you, over and over again." That is a promise two young lovers made.

"When we get old, you and I better retell the story of us," you say as you lay in the green grass. "And I will tell it to you every night," König spoke softly. "Every night," he holds your hand. "I will always tell you the story of how I met the greatest thing in my life." He smiles and sighs happily, "And I'll make you fall in love with me all over again." He meant every word, he wanted the spark of love between them to never die, for them to always be in love. "I'll always fall in love with you as if it was the first time, every single time." He cared, more than you'll ever know.

"You never let her go, my son." his mother sternly says. He sighs and looks over at you, his youngest niece hung by his arms, his nephew chasing you both. The giggles from the children and your laughter, yeah, he wants that life with you. "You think she'll want to?" he asks his parents. "If not today or in a year, I know she will." He looks at the ring and nods. "When I marry her, can you both please not give a long speech?" This caused his parents to laugh and nod a little.

Maybe the movies and all the news articles are right, in some universe, you and him are together. And in that universe, he has his three kids, a wife and the picket fence to his home. A home with you, two hearts that beat for the other. He cares.

Tags: @sunshiinegaz @liyanahelena

[seresinhangmanjake]

One of Many Firsts

Dad!Jake "Hangman" Seresin x female reader Drabble

Summary: Eve found a new guy and Jake isn't thrilled.

This is based on an idea from @xoxabs88xox that was sent ages ago. Sorry it's so late.

Oh, Baby series

Words: 500

---

Jake likes enjoying his peaceful afternoon. He got the day off from work, he spent the entirety of the morning in bed with his wife, his son is sleeping peacefully in his crib after an exhausting few early hours with his grandmother, and now all that's left is to wait patiently for his baby girl's return from kindergarten. Seeing her face and hearing her excited voice when she greets him at the end of the day never fails to swell his heart. 

Until today. 

"Daddy, I got married!" Eve shouts as she runs down the hall and jumps into Jake's awaiting arms. "Just like you and Mama!"

His brow pinches as he hoists her up with his hug. "I'm sorry, what now?"

He hears a chuckle, and with his daughter wrapped in his arms, Jake turns to face you. You grin, having finally caught up to your wild child that is so used to sprinting after her father. 

"Married?" He questions as he sets Eve on her feet. "I didn't approve of that."

You walk over and he accepts your kiss just before you say, "I've been informed that Billy Fisher is the lucky boy." 

"Fisher!" Jake snaps, eyes flicking back and forth between your amused ones and the sparkling green pair that matches his own. "Absolutely not. My daughter will have nothing to do with a Fisher boy. They're wild! Bound to be troublemakers."

"Troublemaker?" Eve repeats the word with curiosity. 

"Yes, baby girl."

With a snort you say, "Jake, those boys are five and two years old."

"And I can sense it already," he grumbles, plopping down on the couch. His fingers rub deep into his forehead as Eve scrambles onto his lap. 

"Look, Daddy! Daddy, look!"

He lifts his hand from over his eyes to find five tiny fingers wiggling in his face. Around the fourth dainty digit is a thin ring of pink construction paper. It's jagged at its edges and poorly taped together, but it does the job.

A boulder settles in his stomach.

"Yea, no," Jake declares, looking at you.

You chuckle again, crossing your arms. "Jake…"

From the long look you give him he eventually surrenders. "Alright, fine," he sighs. Then he sits up a bit straighter on the couch and stares his daughter right in the eye. "But first of all, a paper ring is not good enough for you. Do not accept less than you deserve. And second…" 

He hesitates, taking another breath when Eve tilts her head in question. "Nevermind, just go play. We'll come get you when it's time to leave for ice cream."

"Ok!" She yelps and hops down, disappearing up the stairs. 

When you're sure she's in her playroom, you ask, "What was second?"

Jake shakes his head. "It's too early to explain divorce to her."

"Oh, don't worry about that," you begin, walking closer and taking the free spot on his lap. His arms instantly curl around your waist. "You know our daughter. By next week, she'll have forgotten all about it."

---

Tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @cinderellasmissingshoe @leila22rogers @novagreen04 @multifandomlover4life @mayhemmanaged @memeorydotcom @ryiamarie

[alien-magnolia]

please could i request a joel miller x female reader smut where they’re playing 21 questions and they’ve always flirted and she asks him awkward/sexual questions like “which way does your cock bend” and “what turns him on” etc etc, and it end with hella smut, lots of daddy usage and maybe squirting i’m a sucker for squirting 🫶

A/n: Hey :) sorry it took me a while to get back to you, but we here now. Hope u enjoy :) and feel free to send more requests

21 Questions

Tw: dom!coded Joel miller, subby!fem reader, innocence, corruption kink, bj, squirting, age gap

18+ minors DNI. Wc: 1.8k

A late evening in early June. 8 o’clock, and the sun shines over a rich dark green lawn, paired with a light blue suburban ranch home. The wind gently pushes the colorful windchimes near the oak door, on a porch entrance. Inside, a young woman. Outside, an older man, shuffling upon the porch.

—————————————————

The doorbell rings throughout the house, you rush quickly to open it. Tonight you had on a pure white mini-skirt, a lacy top to match, that showed off your cleavage perfectly. You were still a Virgin, yet something changed when you first met Joel. You wanted him, in a way that you haven’t wanted any guy you’ve met before. Besides, Joel was not just some guy. He was a man. With your meet-up with him tonight, you wanted him to know how you really felt. You just didn’t know how to do it.

Your small, dainty, hand opens the door. There he is. “Heya, sweetheart,” his thick Southern voice drawls across the living room. Your eyes fixate on his Adam’s Apple, you watch it with curiosity and intent. He catches your glance, chuckling, as you shyly invite him in.

He sits down on the couch, manspread. You gulp, telling your eyes not to draw over to his crotch. “How about a beer, Mr. Miller?,” you offer. “Please, sweetie. Call me Joel. Yeah, I’d like one.” You nod, as you scurry over to the kitchen to bring him a beer. You bend over as you are by the fridge, reaching in for a nice, cold beer for this incredibly attractive man in your living room.

You bring him the beer, and he thanks you, patting the spot next to him, on the couch. A cue for you to sit. You cross your legs, folding your hands over your lap, your diamond ring on your one hand shining. You were quite different from Joel. You did not spend all day in the dirt like he did. This aspect of him, only made you want him more.

“Hey. Um. Can we play twenty-one questions? Maybe get to know each other a little better?,” you gingerly ask. “Sure, hon. How about I start, yeah?”

You nod. “How old are you again?,” he asks. “I’m twenty-two. I know you’re a lot older than me,” you chuckle, looking at him. “Fifty-six,” he replies. You are in awe of this. This was a huge age gap. You start to feel a bit of wetness growing, spreading across your pink lacy thong.

You giggle, crossing your legs together to ease some of that tension. His chiseled arms, the brown — gray stubble on his face, his deep brown eyes, those soft, pink lips. You wanted to kiss him right then and there. You restrained yourself. “Can it be my turn now?,” you ask, batting your eyes at him, while your manicured fingers tap on your smooth, soft, thighs. “Sure, hon. Ask away,” his deep southern drawl just excites you even more.

“What’s your type? Do you like it if someone is younger than you?,” you pose the question as innocently as possible. He chokes on his beer, nervously chuckling, and wiping his mouth with a napkin. You beg him to tell you the truth. Something tells you that you would like the answer you find. “I do, yeah. Frankly, to be honest, hon, someone as young and sweet as you, is exactly my type.”

Your heart rate begins to quicken. You looked into his eyes, it felt as if they were pulling you in. You smile a bit, confessing that you were into him as well. More questions begin to arise, as he downs the beer you gave him, even tilting the bottle towards your mouth so you can have a little sip.

“What turns you on, Mr Miller?,” you say, out of the blue. The both of you were a little tipsy on the beer at this point. He chuckles. “You really wanna know, sweetie?” You nod eagerly. “Well, you see, I like good girls. Obedient, sweet, good girls that listen, wear nice lingerie, and know how to suck cock the right way,” he states, matter of factly.

Your face began to burn as you squirmed around in your seat on the couch. You failed to notice that he had moved a bit closer to you. “I can do that,” you whisper, now noticing how close he was to you.

He smiles, and then brings his face closer to yours, two pairs of lips meeting for a kiss. A long, gentle yet passionate kiss, you felt his tongue slip inside your mouth, his stubble tickling your cheeks in the most wonderful way.

“How about another question, sweetheart,” he starts. You nod. “Ya think that tonight, I can see what’s under that pretty skirt of yours?”

This was it. It was actually happening. “Yes. Please,” you moan a bit, breathily. “My good girl, using her manners. C’mon now. On your knees f’me,” he commands, sternly but softly. Fuck — you loved it.

Your tiny hand palms him through his jeans, feeling the bulge grow bigger and bigger with every stroke of your fingers. Soon enough, a tent in his jeans appears, and you want nothing more than to put your face in it. You look up at him. “Can I?” He nods. You begin to unzip his jeans, your small hands around his belt. Both jeans and belt fall to the floor, and you stare with hungry eyes at his tent in his boxers.

Your small hands gingerly pull off his boxers, revealing his already erect cock, with a good bush to match. You run your hands all over his v-line, tracing spots there, feeling his coarse hair. You shift around on your knees a bit. “Come up, sweetie. I got something better for ya.”

You get back onto the couch, as he lays down, his big arms behind his head, you couldn’t keep your eyes off him. His coarse hand comes up to hold your cheek. “Look at you. Gorgeous. Ready to suck my cock, sweetie?,” he asks, gentle. You nod.

Nervously, you move yourself closer to his cockhead, giving it little kisses, as you make eye contact with him. His deep moans can be heard, softly, like music to your ears.

You give his cock a bit of kisses, before taking it in your mouth, God — it was so soft, so warm, it sat perfectly in your throat!!! Periodically, his cock became firmer, harder, as you took it deep down your throat. You looked up at him for approval.

His eyes were closed, head up high, moaning, softly, you watched those little hairs on his chest slightly move with every of his motions.

His eyes meet yours. A toothy smile. You smile back, as you pamper his cock with some kisses. “Fuck, hun. Jus’ like that. Being such a good girl for me, yeah?,” his raspy voice startled you.

You shook your head, giggling, as his large and hairy hand came up to give your face a few reassuring rubs and nods. You continue your gentle kisses and licks on his cockhead, tracing all three, bulging, prominent veins on the sides.

He stops you. You are confused —- what if he didn’t like your head anymore?! Could you have done something wrong?

“Sweets. Hows about I put it in, yeah? Wanna see how nice and tight and pussy this is,” he gruffly says, waiting for your approval.

You nod, looking at him with those sweet, doe, eyes, as he stands up, towering over you. With one big knee pressing into your thigh, his hands grab onto your thighs and roughly pull you forward. One hand on each side, caging you into him. You’re brought in for yet another kiss, longer this time, sweeter, the both of you smile into it.

You feel his bearded, rough cheek, against yours. Heaven. With that, you see him pull out a box of condoms.

“Joel. No need. I’m on the pill,” you softly say. He looks up, in shock. “Gonna let me, uh…,” he was about to start, then hesitates. “Breed me?,” you finish for him. There was that toothy smile again.

“Open f’me, sweets.” You do as said, your plump thighs spreading on the bed, ready for him to inspect. You were his little cow, all ready to be bred and pumped full of cum, until she couldn’t walk!!

“Fuck. Lemme see how good this cunt’s gonna take me, yeah?,” he asks, a predatory gaze in his eyes. Well, you certainly did feel like his prey. You feel his hard length slide into you, pulsing, hot. It felt like you were filled up to the brim. He was around eight inches, it felt like. You could feel that warm, round sack against your puffy lips. He starts slow, reaching in deep, causing you to shudder as his tip touches the tip of your cervix :)

Soon enough, his hairy thighs slap against yours, as he moves at a bit of a quicker pace. You feel his cock pulsating and twitching inside you, it just turns you on so much!! You squeeze tighter and tighter around him. You feel his veiny hands trail around your front to grip at your soft breasts momentarily, before returning to their guiding place on your hips, his grip so tight on you. Oh God — he was strong.

His grip tightened, rough, calloused fingers on the plush of your hips, tracing over those stretch marks :) You were glad that he liked them.

“Feel you squeezin’ me, princess. Tell me what ya want. Go on,” you hear his deep and a bit slurred voice above you. He must have been absolutely delirious by how tight you were around him. “Want you to breed me, Joel …please,” you whisper out in a breathy moan. You hear his chuckle — you loved how deep his voice was.

“Stay still, babygirl. Gonna give you my cum, gonna - fuck, make you mine, gonna fill you up,” he barely moans out, he was so close, you felt it. You both came at the same time, you were seeing white, hot pleasure, he was seeing the same. You felt a bit of cum spray out onto him, onto those brown, curly hairs all over him, that you loved so much. “Honey. Did you just squirt?,” you hear him ask.

You blush. What if he didn’t like it!? “Hey. Princess.” He must’ve felt your anxiety. “Calm down, yeah? I think it’s cute. Reckon, I’m glad I came over here tonight. You showed me a good time,” he gently says, as you smile up at him, closing your eyes as he gives you a little forehead kiss.

“Can we do this again?,” you sheepishly ask, as he wipes you down with a towel, and then leaning back onto the couch, patting his thigh as a signal for you to come cuddle. You oblige, laying your head on his hairy chest.

“‘’Course, hun. We definitely will.”

[celestie0]

ellie's beta reader application

hi friends!! i am looking for beta readers for my jjk fanfics :"0 i just reaaallyyy want to get back into writing n stuffs but have been struggling w motivation/confidence so i feel like having beta readers would make it nicer n easier aaa :'')

here are the stories that i'm looking for beta readers for, plus a little blurb about what the beta readers' role/input would be for each, but in general you’d basically be reading thru my chapter, leaving comments/notes w suggestions or reactions, and help me work out any plot-related struggles i may be having :)

please read all of the text below before sending me an ask

kickoff - looking for two beta readers

early access to drafted chapters. read through for clarity & prose. may run by some ideas by the beta readers, but for the most part i have the rest of kickoff set in stone!

in holy matriphony - looking for two beta readers

early access to drafted chapters, as well as my upcoming plans for the series. i have most of ihm set in stone as well, but may just need some help with making sure things flow well since the plot's a lil jumbled in my head!

around the clock - looking for two beta readers

early access to drafted chapters. i don't really have much planned for this series, so i would like to get some help w planning the rest of it! i anticipate 4ish parts, and i'm really just looking to have some fun w this one :)

if the world was ending - looking for two beta readers

early access to drafted chapters. i am kinda struggling with the overall plan i have for this series, as i have the first and last chapters mostly finished, but need help figuring out some of the in between

additionally, all my beta readers will have early access to any other oneshots, drabbles, mini series that i come up with down the line, and can also help me come up with additional plotlines/tropes from the ones i've brainstormed for those more independent works. there won't be any crossover for the series though, meaning that if you've been selected as a beta reader for "in holy matriphony", i won't be sharing drafted chapters/ideas for any of my other series to you

requirements to be a beta reader

must be 18+ years old

must be ok w spoilers for any of my works

must be an active reader of mine

must be proficient in english

must have a discord account

should not be a fellow fanfic author

must not share any of my drafted materials/ideas to others

how to apply

to apply, please first ensure that you satisfy the requirements listed above, and then send me an ask off of anon that answers the questions below (don't worry, i won't be publicly responding to/posting any of the asks to my feed, i just need your username so i can message you!)

i will close applications in 2-3 days!

beta reader application template

list your age:

how long have you been a reader of mine:

rank your preference of fics that you would like to beta read for (for example, kickoff > ihm > atc > itwwe):

for those who have listed "kickoff" or "in holy matriphony" as either your first or second choice, please briefly list 2-3 scenes from each series that are your favorite or were memorable to you (i just wanna make sure you're an active/engaged reader w a good understanding of the plots! the scenes can be briefly listed such as “hotel room scene” for kickoff or “kitchen kiss scene” for ihm. if both series are in your top two, please list scenes for each of them, but if neither are in your top two, then you can ignore this question):

anything else you would like me to know (optional):

please list your discord username:

and that's it! i will message you here on tumblr for further steps :) aaa i hope this is successful hahah and in general i'm really excited to more closely interact w some of you guys :'') i will make a lil discord group for us hehe. tbh getting beta reader(s) has been loooong overdue for me but i'm looking forward to it n think it will be good for me! much love <3 feel free to reach out w any questions :0

[lucysarah-c]

~ Holy Ground ch. 2: We were both young when I first saw you.~

Summary:

"Alright, get comfortable because this is going to be a long, crappy tale. Join me as we travel down memory lane, back when Erwin wasn't yet a commander, when Mike and Nanaba couldn't keep their hands off each other, when Hange was… well, Hange. And Levi? Well, Levi was a twenty-four-year-old man who didn't give a damn about the rules. Are you ready?"

Warnings: This story contains age gaps, time period misogyny and mentions of homophobia, strong and offensive language, underage sex, alcohol, smoking, implied/referenced of drug use. This is a very slow burn so everyhthing takes a while to happen. Explicit sex content. Virginity, loss of virginity, cheating, mentions of cheating, pregnancy but no by the main character, consensual sex, consensual underage sex, underage kissing.

Pairing: Levi x Reader x Erwin. Levi x Reader are end game. (this is not eruri). This story takes place after ACWNR but BEFORE season 1.

-> Masterlist to all the chapters! <-

I won't begin this tale like everyone else, saying, "I will never forget the first time I saw you." That's because I can't recall the exact first time I saw him. However, I do remember the first time I noticed him, and there's a difference between those two actions. Anyway, at first, it wasn't me who noticed him. It was someone else who forced me to search for him in a crowded room.

I was sitting in the mess hall after breakfast with Nanaba. If I remember correctly, we were discussing whether it's acceptable to make out with a guy on the first date. Nanaba, who was in a not-so-secret relationship with Mike at the time, was arguing that you should leave a man wanting more so that he'll come crawling back to you. But let's not dwell on that. What happened next is what we should focus on.

We were both seventeen, such an age to be alive! We weren't cadets, but we weren't superiors either. It was a mix in between that sometimes I wish I could go back to. However, there was a cadet, a young fifteen-year-old girl who joined the Scouts a few months after Levi did, along with the rest of the new cadets. If there was a fan club for Levi, Petra would have been a founding member. Even I, his girlfriend, don't think I worshiped him as much as Petra did. She sat down next to us, sighing loudly and staring dreamily at the ceiling.

"Isn't he perfect?" Petra exclaimed with the voice only a fifteen-year-old girl in love could muster.

"Perfectly short, if you ask me," Nanaba commented, and we chuckled together. "No offense, but Levi is far from perfect for me. On the other hand, Mike is perfect in a human body!"

"With that sorry excuse for a beard? I don't think so," I replied to the tallest woman in our group. "Girls, let's be honest, neither of them comes close to being a perfect man."

"Oh, you two are so mean! (Y/N), did you see him? Isn't he amazing?" Petra questioned, looking into my eyes, searching for an answer to a question she had asked the night before in our shared room.

The night before that morning, Petra had been worshipping Levi so much, and Nanaba had been trying so hard to bring her back down to earth that they asked me what I thought about him. Nanaba knew Levi because he was usually with Erwin, who was usually with Mike, and Mike was usually with her. But for me? The day Levi and his friends were introduced, I had the flu, so I couldn't be there for his "amazing speech."

I had told them that I had never really paid attention to him. He was like a background person in my life at the Scouts' campus. I’d promised them that the next morning, I would make an effort to pay attention to him during breakfast. So, I did. And now I can tell you that the way you look at a person when you're in love is absolutely different from the way you do when you're not in love.

As I mentioned earlier, I remember that morning, the first time I noticed him. His straight, ebony hair flowed in the air. Back then, he used to wear it slightly to the side more often than he does now. Levi never really had a completely middle-parted hair look, but when he was younger, it was more to the side... and he had more hair, but don't tell him that. He was short, too short for a man, but I figured Petra was shorter, so it wasn't much of a problem (she was even a bit taller than me).

What caught my attention was his porcelain pale skin, as if the sun had never touched him (well, I mean, there probably wasn't much sun to soak up underground). I wished I had his skin. His face wasn't the most masculine, but it wasn't feminine either—a perfect middle ground. I suppose some girls are into that. His eyes were sharp and light, but I couldn't discern the specific color from a distance.

I was in the mess hall as he made his way through. Were they blue or grey? Anyway, he was buffed; you could tell by the width of his shoulders (he used to be skinnier than he is now, probably because he didn't eat as well in the underground). I would have continued observing him if he hadn't turned around and locked his dead eyes with mine. Returning to my conversation with my comrades:

"I did indeed," I replied to Petra, and her eyes shone with expectation. "Let me summarize my thoughts: he's not my cup of tea, but if he's yours, go and talk to him. You have nothing to lose by asking."

"Oh, I could never do such a thing! He doesn't like to be bothered," the younger girl of our group said, her cheeks blushing.

"In my opinion, he doesn't like anything. He always has this face that says 'I'm too good for all of you,'" Nanaba said, attempting to imitate Levi's expression, which made me laugh.

I often wonder how things would have turned out if Petra had gone and talked to him. He wasn't my "type," so to speak, and probably would have never been if things hadn't taken the course they did. Life is a whimsical, bratty thing, and I was about to learn that.

Perhaps you didn't have to go through this because your arrival at the Scouts was a bit out of the ordinary, but the training process for cadets is somewhat different. After being part of the Legion for almost two years (like Nanaba and I back then) and just after the new recruits arrived, the one-year training to become a superior began. It involved both physical and theoretical practices. It taught you how to work with a partner and solve the situations you would encounter. Being a superior involved a lot of teamwork, which is why there were two exams: a midterm to assess progress just before the winter break, and a final exam. It probably won't surprise you if I say that Nanaba and I were going to be a team.

Later that day, after our regular instructions, we sat down in the training area, waiting for a superior to call us. I had our forms ready to be handed to my squad leader. Back then, Erwin was my squad leader. He wasn't the commander yet, but his rise was imminent. Nanaba and I were waiting like the rest of the cadets.

"Hey, beauty, your boyfriend is looking for you," Gellar said, approaching us and pointing with his thumb towards the building behind him.

"He's not my boyfriend," I replied wearily, shaking my head, and my long hair swayed.

My blond friend chuckled at my response, and Gellar rolled his eyes. I stood up and walked toward the office of a certain blondie we all know. It used to annoy me to no end that people couldn't stop spreading that silly rumor. "I'm not Erwin's girl! ...yet, at least," I thought back then, little did I know it would never happen.

I strolled through the corridors with the papers tucked under my arm and held my head high, proud to be known as one of the prettiest girls in the Legion. I made a quick stop at the bathroom to check my appearance, making sure my eyes weren't puffy. I pinched my lips and cheeks slightly, giving them a reddish tint. Erwin was at a promising point in his career. He was handsome, young, and smart—everything I could ask for in a man. And I was everything he wanted in a girl… or so he’d said. Sometimes it felt like he truly meant it and others it felt like it was just the silly rumor that people whispered in the corridors. He hated the gossip, he insisted that was the reason it wasn’t official yet. Because it would overshadow his and my promotion. I understood… or so I faked that I did.

Perhaps I was young, but I wasn't naive. I knew how men looked at you when they desired you. And Erwin always seemed to find something in my hair to touch or would run his hand through it. He had a delicate way of saying that my teas were the best around and that's why he always asked me to make them for him. Yes, I was young, but I wasn't foolish.

Innocent little me. You truly think you have everything figured out at 17, you think you know everything. I thought I was smart, sometimes perhaps too much for my own good. Erwin, dear, you make me look so naive. 

"Wait! You and the Commander were a thing?!" The entire Levi's squad screamed, causing me to pause my narration.   "This is the juiciest rumor I've ever heard!" Sasha yelled so loudly that I'm sure the entire Legion heard her.   "Well, as I mentioned, we never became anything in the end. Besides, our flirting died a long time ago, and now we're really good friends," I replied honestly because it's true. There's nothing more than respect and friendship between Erwin and me these days.   But my answer doesn't seem to convince them, and once again, Eren is the first to throw another question.   "Does the Captain know about this?" he asked, suspicion evident in his voice.   "Of course he does! And believe me, he couldn't care less," I replied, amused. But I wonder, is that really true? I mean, if I were to tell Levi, 'Hey, I'm going to stay in Erwin's room because it's bigger and tidier than Hange's,' would he respond with 'Yeah, sure, no problem! Have fun!'? Who am I kidding? Levi would kill both Erwin and me in the process.   "Anyway, this doesn't have a place in this tale, so let's get back to the story," I clarified before they could ask another tricky question.

I knocked on the door with my free hand, while the other one held the forms. That deep, manly voice that I knew so well replied with a simple "Name and business."

"Cadet (L/N) (Y/N)! I was called to come here to deliver my form," I said clearly.

I waited for the response, and once I received it, I entered. There he was, the young and ambitious man that everyone in the military was talking about. Erwin finished signing some paperwork and looked up, meeting my gaze with his big, deep blue eyes. He smiled slightly at me, and of course, I smiled back.

"I was waiting for you, (Y/N)," the blond man said. 'Of course you were,' I thought. "There are some details that we need to discuss. Please have a seat."

So, I did. I walked over to the deep green leather tufted office chair right in front of his desk. I sat down and placed the papers on my lap.

"Would you like some tea?" he asked politely as he got up to serve it, knowing well that I never turned down a good cup of tea.

"Yes, please," I replied, following him with my eyes and offering a slight smile. I attempted to get up from my seat and serve the tea myself, but Erwin stopped me with a hand gesture. Superiors always had more privileges than recruits, and Erwin was no exception.

The single cup of black tea in that office was all I needed—a stronger and tastier flavor than only a good-quality tea could offer. I had always been a smart girl, perhaps too smart for some people's tastes, but I believed it was one of the main reasons Erwin had chosen me. After a few occasions, I noticed that the tea he drank when he was alone wasn't as good as the one he poured when it was for me. There was a slight, uncomfortable silence as we both took the first sip. Right after that, I picked up my papers and placed them on his desk.

"I have already filled in my forms, sir," I said, tucking my hair behind my ear. But what he did next caught me completely off guard. Erwin took the papers and placed them somewhere under his desk.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," he said, intertwining his fingers. "You see, (Y/N), I have been re-reading your academic reports from your training years, and they point out your outstanding performance in teamwork and your ability to naturally encourage cooperation among the practice sessions."

"Thank you?" I replied, uttering the first thing that came to my mind. I didn't know where he was going with all this. I took another sip of my tea.

"Have you ever talked to Levi? He's quite new," he said, adding, "He may not be the most talkative guy around here, but his performance with the 3DMG is outstanding."

'Mr. Grumpy? Of course, I know who he is,' I thought, and the fact that Erwin used the word "outstanding" twice, referring to both of us. I didn't like where this was going. Suddenly, the tea, the office, and the day didn't seem as pleasant anymore.

"Wait! Mr. Grumpy? Seriously?!" Connie exclaims, while the rest of them try to control their laughter.   "Yes, that was his nickname among my close friends for a long time. Sometimes, when I want to annoy him, I bring it back for a couple of hours," I reply with a tender smile on my face. 'Yeah, we used to have silly nicknames for each other… when we used to talk,'

"I have never talked to him, but I don't doubt his capabilities since you personally chose him," I tried to give a neutral answer. I was so nervous that I couldn't take another sip of my tea. What a waste.

"I have been thinking that someone with your good reputation and patience could be a good partner for Levi. He may not have gone through regular training, but the commander and I think it would be beneficial for him to undergo the same training as the other cadets," Erwin's eyes seemed to penetrate my soul as he explained this to me. Did I mention that I didn't like where this was going?

"Um, excuse me, sir. But I already have a partner. Nanaba and I get along, and I think our performance would be splendid," I said, trying to evade his gaze. 'How can I refuse him without disrespecting him? ' My mind raced, desperately seeking possible replies, and I could feel a headache coming on.

"Don't worry about her; Mike has already found her a recruit. I believe pairing my two best cadets to work together would be a step forward for my plan for the Scouts, don't you think?" he said, and I wished I hadn't woken up that day.

'Save your dirty little compliments for later. Your best cadets? Fuck you, Erwin Smith! If this is what your best cadet looks like, then I think I'm failing my next exams,' I wanted to tell him to go to hell so badly, but I knew my position didn't allow it.

Despite all my attempts to change his mind, the blond man pulled out a form that was already halfway filled and placed it in front of me. Then he put a black ink pen beside it, and I felt like crying.

"He said he would be looking forward to working with you," Erwin declared with his perfect smile, knowing he had won the argument. That arrogant smile just made me want to punch him. ‘I adore you but I hate you,’ Perhaps it was the delicate state our relationship was in, that I wasted to make him happy not only as my superior but also as my “situationship” that forced me to agree without further complaints. Perhaps Erwin knew himself that I would have done anything to keep him pleased and that’s why he knew it was an already won battle.

Without knowing that as those papers landed gracefully on top of the oak wood of his desk, the domino effect of him digging his own grave started. 

I think all of you know what happened next—I signed the form. Right after that, I got up without finishing my tea.

"Am I dismissed, sir?" I failed miserably in trying to hide the fact that pure anger was boiling within me. 'How dare he do this to me? He set me up!'

"Don't you want to finish your tea first?" my squad leader asked, pretending not to know the answer.

"I'm not feeling very well, sir. I would like to rest a bit on my bed before dinner," I said, convinced that he was doing this on purpose.

He nodded, signaling that I could leave. I remember walking out of that room, seething with anger, and people in the corridors looked at me like they could barely recognize me

"That's not fair! I can't believe that Mike didn't say a single thing about this. They must have planned it for a long while," Nanaba expressed her frustration to me and Petra.

"Without a doubt, they planned this! How dare they!" I yelled in our shared room, lying on my back on that tiny bed they gave us.

"Maybe he isn't that bad?" Petra said with her usual optimistic personality. But both Nanaba and I looked at her as if to say, "Now is not a good time."

The three of us sighed loudly, tired from this crazy day. As if the training wasn't enough, I had to figure out a way to make things work with Mr. Grumpy. It couldn't be that bad, right? I just needed to go and try to get to know him a little better during dinner. I tried to see the glass as half full, but when I saw him sitting all by himself in the middle of the mess hall during dinner, I knew it wasn't going to work out.

"Good luck, girl. You're going to need it," Nanaba said, patting me on the back. Killing Titans was easier than this.

I took a deep breath and walked toward him, holding my dinner tray with both hands.

"Hey, do you mind if I take a seat?" I tried to be nice as I stood in front of him.

Oh God, do you remember when I told you that I can't recall the first time I saw Levi? Well, I would never forget the look in his grey eyes the moment he looked up at me that night. A shiver ran up my spine, and I had to mentally slap myself to regain my composure.

"May I?" I asked once again.

"Do you see my name on it?" Levi's deep voice echoed in my mind as I tried to understand what his problem was.

Anyways, I sat down because I probably looked like an idiot standing up in the middle of the dining room. I took another deep breath and extended my right hand for him to shake. Levi gazed at my hand as if it were pure poison.

"I'm (Y/N), and I'm looking forward to working with you. Let's get along from now on!" A perfect first impression. I gave him my infallible good-girl smile, but it faded as time passed, and he didn't even move to shake my hand.

"I was surprised to hear that you wanted to work with me, so I guess we'll try to make this work," I added as I withdrew my hand. I nervously tucked my hair behind my ear. 'Please say something!' I pleaded in my mind.

"What?" he asked.

"Erwin assigned us together," I replied. I was sweating so much that I felt like I needed another shower after this.

Silence—uncomfortable silence. Then he covered his face with his pale hand and sighed loudly. 'Someone, please save me.'

"That son of a bitch paired me up with the spoiled brat," Levi's words hit me like a bullet. I sat there, feeling as though it must all be a dream. 'Say something? Forget it! I hope he never opens that mouth again.' I regretted my last thought.

He was mean, he was rude, and every bad adjective you can think of. Why?! Why me?! Petra should have been here, not me. But how could she like him? He was the worst!

Which girl in her right mind would ever want to date him?!

Spoiler alert: Me.

Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out. Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @trashblackrainbow @l3visthighs @hannieslovebot @flxrartsstuff @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 @levisfavoriteteashop @katestrophes @katharinasdiaryy @ackermanswifee @levistealeaf @an-ever-angry-bi @youre-ackermine @searriously @blackdxggr @storiesofsung @abiatackerman @braunsbabe @moonchild-angel @galactict3a @lemonsupernova @hyuckwon-my-husbands @heyitsd1yaa @sydneyyuu @love-for-faeries-go-burrrr @mandaax @sugacor3 @r0ckst4rjk @vegetasgirl2799 @catiwinky @pinksaiyans @sparklykeylime Wanna join my tag list? Here!

[feinv]

omgggggg!! if that’s the case, can i request some headcanons for john wick in his first ever relationship? he’d be a bit awkward but he’d be such a sweetie🥹🥹 -🥮

there is so much i want to say, definitely need to make a proper post! a small nsfw section at the end. enjoy!💌

oh my god. this man. it’s no news to anyone that he is a bit self-conscious and lacks a little confidence, but those would just…WORSEN during his first relationship.

— i mentioned previously that he is not exactly the most experienced guy ever, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. plus his age, this man has no idea what all those bf/gf labels even mean. when is the right time to ask you to be his girlfriend? is it too soon? is it too late? should he make you something big for that proposal? or would it be too vulgar? can he already hold your hand? can he kiss you? he would literally like. stop functioning.

— he would be a nervous wreck because he doesn’t want to scare you off or give the wrong impression: being the gentleman he is, he would ALWAYS hold the doors open for you, but that annoying voice in his head would make him question if his actions imply that you are not capable of doing things on your own? so at first he would be extremely weird and awkward around you, trying to yet figure out how any of this works.

— after a while, though, he just relaxed and let things go by a natural flow, rushing and overthinking wouldn’t do any good to any of you. he also realized that the best way to learn something was to ask. granted he takes the dominant side in the relationship (not in bed, wink wink) and he always initiates dates and such, but he wants you to enjoy your time with him, so he would rather ask once what your favorite places are than waste your evenings on something you don’t want to be doing!

— hate to say it, but his self-consciousness would get in the way of your relationship more than once. he will catch himself on the thought that you deserve someone better, someone more worthy of your love and someone your age, but your reassuring words would always bring him back from those nasty thoughts.

— the first time you two had a sleepover (non-intimate) and he woke up in the morning with your body tightly wrapped around him, he knew he was a goner. there was no way he was letting you go after that, no matter how selfish it sounded in his head.

— he also loves your domestic side!! of course he gets weak in the knees at the sight of you all dressed up looking like a goddess, but nothing could compare to what he felt when he saw you in your simple comfy clothes, with no makeup, hair poking all around like a mess. he is just so infatuated with you and he is so happy you feel comfortable enough around him to be your true natural self <3

— at first his feelings were more of a “loving and protective” towards you, but over the time he also got a bit more possessive of you, not in a weird way, he just can’t bear to lose you.

nsfw.

— he was so so so so scared for your first time together, thinking that he would ruin it. he was always on edge when your fingers would trail lower or kisses would get hungrier, anxiously focusing on your every movement to not miss out on something that would indicate you don’t want to continue this.

— and of course, he would make your first time the most special ever (rose petals and all that stuff, he is an old soul let him be). he would ask you like twenty times “are you okay?” “you want me to stop?” and he would be extra gentle the first time around, drinking in the perfect features of your body and just memorizing what you like or don’t like.

this man. is. a. switch.

— he never really had the opportunity to voice his preferences in bed out loud, so he would be hesitant at first. again, he would be terrified to share some of his kinks with you (especially the ones he wanted to do to you). he wouldn’t openly tell you to be more dominant with him, i think it was something you discovered on your own, along with his kinks, and once you did, he let his guard down and allowed you to do whatever you wanted to him!!

©️feinv, 2024.

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Hot car and hot love

John Allerdyce (Pyro) x girlfriend!reader

warning : +18, smut, p in v, oral f reciving, car sex, semi public sex (in the void), fire play, hair pulling, light choking, praise kink no use of Y/n

Summary : There wasn't much to do in the void, waiting for the daily round to look for new food for Alioth. They practiced their skills, avoided Casasandra and well, Pyro and his girlfriend decided to spend the daily tour a little differently, with something more than just the heat of his fire and more with the heat of love and lust.

info : as much as i need sweet fluff from time to time i need something more hotter from time to time so now have fun here and see you next time have a nice day you guys

ps : The gif is from @daisytachi check out her blog

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There wasn't much to do in the emptiness, you could drive around in a handful of vehicles, you could practice shooting with weapons or train your skills, but most of all you could walk past Cassandra with your eyes down and pray that she wouldn't turn her head in the truest sense of the word.

But otherwise there wasn't much to do in this void let alone at the base of a dead giant or superhero, she didn't know in her universe there was never such a hero or mutant on the contrary her universe was pretty normal except for the fact that the earth was flat and she wanted to look down from the edge but before she could do that she had landed here and had spent most of her life here.

Again this could be seen good or bad but she had met him a few years ago her hope in this nothingness of endless space was John or initially just Pyro.

A teenager her age when they both arrived here, a mutant like her with the powers of fire manipulation while she had the ability of sand creation and guidance which was why the reason she was still alive was thanks to Cassandra, ,,A desert and such a gem don't we need it?" were the bald one's former words when she saw what powers her new recruit held.

But it was also her powers as well as his while they were both still alive, they were some of the strongest mutants here, powerless against her but most of all useful for the Rundafhrten, useful enough not to be killed and to catch that pesky Johnny Storm that Cassandra had been wanting for some time.

So the two hunters and seekers had next to nothing to do under the heat of the sun that was only sporadically covered in clouds, ,,Can't you tame the sun?" she asked as she had a hundred times before, holding a hand to her face as she looked up at the sky. She heard his sigh, but it was followed by a grin.

They both started asking each other stupid questions when they were bored and it was one of those days when there was nothing to do but nothing, ,,Can't you tame the sand? Maybe from my shoes," he replied to her question and rose from the old armchair before the sand rose above the two of them, blocking the sun that would otherwise have come through the perforated ceiling.

Immediately came a satisfied sound from Pyro whose hand lay on hers and he kissed it, ,,Thank you my beloved lady," he quipped before she rolled her eyes and brushed the sand from his body with a hand gesture before she sat down in his chair and started flipping through an old comic book.

Some comics were really good, some were just bad and others had a good flavor but you had to find them in the void first, ,,I don't think anyone new is coming here today," the man mumbled, looking out the window at the desert whose dunes held a few stones and old broken buildings, sometimes dead bodies and sometimes living ones.

Continuing to leaf through the comic, ignoring the dirt on the pages, she let the speech bubbles continue to write further into the story, ,,If you say so," she mumbled dismissively, only half aware of how he was working on new tools for the car while from somewhere in the background someone had once again put on a record and a song echoed through the base.

Even though her eyes went to her boyfriend every now and then, he had taken off his jacket and had a simple top hanging on his body, covered in engine oil and dirt, with wispy, slightly styled hair and a flame that gave him a little more light to be able to see everything properly.

,,Do you want to keep looking? Or get a show? Or something else?" he asked and turned to her, her gaze very much on him, because of course there was always a certain thing to do when you seemed to have too much time on your hands, John stood up, threw the wrench carelessly to one side and walked towards his girlfriend where he sat down on the edge of the chair.

He drew a few circles with his hands on her arm and was slowly taking the comic from her when the door to her room opened and a green mutant jumped in and a tongue grabbed the comic, ,,Cassandra wants to send you two lovebirds on the next patrol…I can come too," he said and withdrew his tongue, catching the lewd look in the orange eyes behind the glasses.

The pair stood up and they walked past their "friend" she smiled at the warning from John, who was once again threatening to turn the green one into a French dish, but they all knew that they would gradually lose their minds here and that they would have to find a way to get under their tongues - they all knew that the long tongue was good for something.

They walked out of the room with a snap of her fingers they heard Mortimer shouting that he had been hit by the sand and cursing after them, but they were already on their way to the vehicles, ,,Someone was really hot," she said, running her fingers over his shoulders and down his arm, watching the still-turned-on look on his face as she sat down in the passenger seat, which was dark leather approved if you ignored the heat, and John continued to watch as he installed the part in the engine.

,,Maybe this patrol will get even hotter without cooking a frog," the taller one replied, throwing himself into the car with her and letting the engine roar to life before the steering wheel turned and the others opened the gate and the car with the faded flames took off into the desert where they would hopefully get more excitement.

Hours had passed, hours in which clouds passed overhead, hours in which the sun seemed to get warmer, hours in which their sand could only give them limited relief, hours in which they actually found a few pieces of equipment, metal replacements and desecrated a few bodies, they were now at the halfway point and decided to take a break under a ledge.

,,Is it worth drinking the soda? Or throw up later?" asked John, taking the warm soda from the car and joining her under the ledge where she had scooped up the sand and the pair sat down on a blanket, ,,Well, when else do you get something sweet?" she replied before the two smiled and risked opening the can and taking a few sips, both faces slightly screwed up at the amount of sugar they were hardly used to but it still tasted pretty good, as good as something could taste here in the void.

The surroundings were fine, there were shadows, the sun was retreating behind clouds, they were far enough away from the base not to be disturbed and yet close enough to be able to call for help, but that was the last thing they wanted.

They had other things to do, the younger one soon watched John move the fireball in his hand with the help of his flamethrower and turn it into her, her image running around, spinning and dancing a little, ,,Someone looks good? Who is she?" she asked, carelessly throwing away her empty can and leaning against the accepted stone, which was the only thing to lean on while she looked at John.

The woman saw this flame in his eyes a way that showed her he was thinking of something special, ,,Well this woman is beautiful, the most beautiful flame I have ever seen, a smile that enchants and a power that is deadly" he described her he could even get the siluette to run to her making the heat so low she barely felt it, she looked into her little image wearing a short dress instead of the heavy clothes.

She created a chair out of sand for her little image and John put the flame on it, ,,But I love deadly, lust just too much for these deadly deeds from burnt to suffocated…say what about you?" he asked and let the flame go out before he also leaned against the stone and looked at his love, who made his image arise out of sand with her hand movement and let the little pyro turn and look at his big image.

She saw Pyro's smile as he looked at this small image of her as she created herself out of sand and let the two of them dance, ,,I see a strong man in whose dark eyes there is always fire, I fly to him like a moth to a flame…he is inviting and makes my body heat up" she said, letting the two small figures of a dance roll on the ground in a heated love making before the sand ungratefully swallowed them up like the void.

She didn't have to look at John to see that there was a slight bulge in his middle, that in this madness the lighting and smothering of bodies was perhaps arousing one a little too much as it should, perhaps it was a cry for help that they had each other no matter what it was, it caused her to move herself and John through the sand into the car, folding the seats back and having John beneath her.

Her hand placed on his chest, clothes coming off one by one, his hands moving against her body, ,,I love you," he said breathlessly through the kiss and a hasty movement as he moved her clothes from her body into the car and onto the ground, warmed by the sun as the wind blew rarely and pleasantly around their bodies.

,,I you even more my hothead" she replied leaning down to him her hand on his torso feeling his rapid heartbeat his own hand grabbing her breast massaging the soft heated skin enjoying her emerging pleasurable sounds he locked her in another kiss.

As the kiss deepened she felt him massage her breasts again while her fingers found their way to John's hair, pulling him away from her every now and then, she saw the lust in his eyes, the brief hiss when she pulled too hard, the cheeky smile on her lips when she let his lips touch her body again only until she tore him away from her again.

,,So teasing, huh?" he asked, his fingers pinching her nipples, a loud yelp coming from her lips as a tingle ran over her body, her fingers clutching at him as she moved her hips slightly, her center trying to get rubbed, hearing his grunt as her center rubbed over his bulge, the more he pinched her sensitive nipples and twisted them slightly, her noises increasing and he kissed her heated skin apologetically.

They both knew that there was much, much time to be had in the void, it was lonely and endless so they didn't mind being in the "public eye" or that the usually strong Pyro could be easily tamed when they were together, a big one could quickly become small with a few gentle gestures, a few sweet words and a little teasing, he was molten coal in her fingers who would do anything for her.

But just as much they both loved it the other way around, his fire spreading its heat, taking her in, hands gripping her body tighter and tighter, leaving marks as hot as fire.

Pyro detached himself from her she settled on the folded seats his kisses up her legs he felt light bites left over them he licked them apologetically her fingernails scratching the leather his other hand buried itself in his hair he pulled lightly, ,,Someone is needy," he winked, kissing the last of her soft thighs before he pushed her legs apart slightly, guiding her a little before she leaned back, moaning as she felt his tongue lick over the sensitive nerve spot.

Her thighs closed around him, the sand around the car shifting from time to time due to her loss of control, Pyro seemingly looking for support as the gasoline from the car ignited and the ball of fire approached her, ,,Burn ah-fuck John…burn me," she mumbled, feeling his fingers tap her thighs, a sign that she shouldn't move.

He wouldn't burn her if she moved, despite her hip movements resembling his rhythm as much as possible, she moaned sweetly and painfully every time the flames reached her skin, muffled by the sand that protected her as soon as she could be harmed, and after a short time there was a burnt smell in the air as the sand slowly turned to molten glass from the hot fire, but it didn't bother either of them.

The pleasurable sensual sounds drowned out this worry and everything else as her fingers clutched his hair tighter and she heard his pleasurable muffled licking and slurping noises as John caught his breath every now and then and they met in a kiss before he found himself between her thighs again.

She could feel his arousal rubbing against her leg again and again, he was hard and as much as she loved his tongue she loved his cock too, ,,J-John I need you now" she breathlessly let out as she let go of him, the man stood up as best the car would allow, his dark eyes following her gaze on his hard cock.

Seeing his smile as he spread his arms invitingly, ,,I need you fucking more" he said just as breathlessly she closed in for another intimate kiss hearing him place himself one last nod between them they parted and she finally felt him inside her the two adults groaned the heat and sultriness of the environment clinging to them making everything even more heated unbearable and erotic.

His thrusts at first were just too considerate as if he was trying to make the situation as sweet as possible but when suddenly her sand closed around his throat out of reflex John's hands closed around hers in the smear of a lash their lips found each other, needy and lustful both gripping tighter and leaving marks as they drove each other harder.

,,Come on, you're a big boy, show me," she challenged him, playing for a moment with a strand of his hair, hearing his giggle which turned into a moan as she wrapped her legs around his hips as he pushed harder and faster, taking it well while praise left her lips as she heard his grunts and moans.

She knew he needed the praise, the twitch of his cock in her cunt was proof of that, but her own clenching and unclenching when his hands released her half tightly and took her breasts roughly gave them exactly what they needed, letting go of each other knowing that it could all be over at any moment.

From praise to moans and grunts, the sounds of them both increasing, she could feel her orgasm coming close the first time so now the tingling increased as her slightly rapid twitching and John's own thrusts became more uncontrolled, ,,I'm going-will fuck…you're so good," she heard his breathless babble nodding only knowing what he meant made him realize it was okay.

The moment passed as John thrust towards his end, she leaned her head against the hot leather as his fingers continued to stroke that little nerve spot before they clung together, moaning and crying out as the orgasm came over them both, holding each other for just one more moment of that brief peace together, he pulled away from her and lay beside her.

She felt his hand warm and covered in silence but comforting on her own as their eyes met and a smile formed on both their lips as they lay in each other's arms for just a moment before they knew they had to go back to avoid losing their heads because they wanted to share moments like this more often than just a few times.

Together under the hot sun of love in the emptiness where they only had each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@thefandomqueen2882 , @arisja3701 , @paintmekala , @seancekitsch , @oceansrose2002

Thought you all would like it

[brucewaynehater101]

All of this is just so. Chefs kiss. I do have another layer of angst and a layer of comedy. After all, the angst stops hitting as hard if you don't have something light hearted to compare it to. After all, how can you know what darkness is if you have never seen light?

I said at the start that Tim gives discounts for secrets. He always seems to be able to tell when people lie and those that do tell him lies well. Bad things happen to them. Nothing can be directly traced back to Jane Doe, but everyone knows. Of course this does lead to some rouges and GCPD pigs trying to intimidate Jane into telling them what she knows. Everytime, Jane offers to play a game with them. 5 rounds, whoever does the rounds gets to ask the questions and no one else but others can listen. Should the challenger win a round, they get to ask one question and Jane promises to answer truthfully. If they win two, he will answer two and so on. They only get a 30 second break between each round and the Playlist is set to shuffle.

Tim lays out these rules and once the person agrees, thinking it's either a fight or sex, only then does Tim reveal they will be playing Dance Dance Revolution that Tim "upgraded" so it has the four diagonal pads too instead of the usual just 4 pads. He sets it to max difficulty for Rouges, second highest for everyone else. The most anyone has ever gotten is when Harley managed to ask Jane to questions.

Of course there are rules about the questions, like you can't ask Jane for any of their own personal details, and if Jane doesn't know the answer to a question you get one do over question. Joker has never threatened to hurt Jane over the way they sell secrets back with DDR because he thinks it's the funniest possible way to humiliate people who demand answers. Sometimes he has his henchmen challenge Jane knowing they'll lose just to laugh at them as they fail.

But on the flip side. Do you think any of the Rouges, before they knew Jane was Robin ever hired Jane? Tim would *hate* it but... those he goes on dates with are often very loose lipped about things and one time he got paid to just hang off a drug dealer's arm all night and look pretty while the guy drank. The guy was a *very* talkative drunk and after he passed out Tim was able to look through his shit with the potential excuse of "im just looking for the bathroom sweetheart~" of course none of the Rouges would ever hire Jane if they knew how old he was but Tim doesn't advertise that. Especially if he's been on the street for a few years at that point and has a reputation. He has to be at least 20, right? Right? Plus the mask and the fact it has a filter to obscure his voice he's just... there was no way for them to know, right? They can justify it to themselves all they want but if a Rouge did, they would definitely feel Really Gross.

Yeah! You've got to have some light-hearted or happy moments to really drive in that angst.

For Jane's age, it definitely depends on the Rogue and their characterization. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure Black Mask was a bit creepy to Steph when he was torturing here. So, whether or not they would feel gross/horrified depends on who it was.

I can see how they wouldn't have known (especially if Jane refused to answer questions about themself including age).

As far as the Dance Dance Revolution? That's a brilliant idea. I wonder if he's ever practiced that with YJ or Dick. I could definitely see then doing that. It would be a cute bonding activity (until they learn he used it as a form of protection).

[thepalerimitation]

Let Me See Some Hands:

Why SydCarmy is the most controversial dish served on the Bear

When the Bear came out, I didn’t watch it. The most I heard, it was a show about line cooks and it had the guy from Shameless. I wasn’t interested, I’m a self proclaimed cooking snob and wanted to see a tv show that had a little more flair in cooking.

But then it was 9 pm, and I was bored.

BAM!

I watched both seasons in a week.

I was obsessed, I was absorbed, and I was deeply and truly in love. The show captured everything gritty and everything beautiful with both hands and threw them into a pan to sear at high heat. It was sexy, it was hideous, and it was mind blowing.

Then the age old question.

What’s going on with those two?

Sydney Adamu, the raw ambition and talent to Carmy Berzatto’s genius and finesse. They’re well matched in the nonstop heat of the kitchen, with an easy dynamic that snags on their jagged edges like fabric on a nail.

In the first season, they’re awkward and magnetic, drifting together and falling apart, shattering and putting the pieces back together. By the second season, they’re starting to click. They dress the same, they finish each other’s sentences, and they argue like people who have known each other for twenty years.

So yes, I did pose that particularly debase question.

Can men and women be friends?

It’s a question that gets thrown in front of the runaway train. It’s the conversation-ender and argument-starter. It’s dynamite. It’s catnip.

The warning signs were there. Shots that focused for a beat too long on him looking at her, or her looking at him. Her embarrassingly admitting he made her favorite dish of all time. Their sign language communication. The season two conflict as a girlfriend was thrown in the mix with Sydney flatly saying “I need your focus, I can’t share, I’m sorry.” I’ll admit, I’ve made more out of less.

But what’s the counter argument?

Well, for one, the girlfriend. Claire (no last name), a nurse and childhood friend who approaches him at a grocery store. She asks for his number, he gives her a fake one. She finds his number anyways and calls him.

Yeah…

There’s some moral arguments. As coworkers, a romantic relationship would be inappropriate. As partners in the restaurants, a romantic relationship could fracture the Bear. Then there’s the purist argument. It’s a cooking show about found family! Let it be that. Romance doesn’t have to be in everything.

“Well gee, which do you think people are pro or anti SydCarmy?”

Well I can tell you why I’m pro.

To me, romance doesn’t demand satisfaction. There’s no need for boyfriend/girlfriend hand holding and playful arguments about doing the dishes. I’d like a kiss, but I’ll take a heated conversation in the walk-in and longing glance.

They’re young and crazy, and HR violations can shove it.

But I also think romance has killed some excellent plots.

Platonic representation is important, especially male-female relationships. I think a lot of platonic relationships are fetishized in media or misinterpreted to add intrigue or interest to audiences.

But can Syd and Carmy be friends?

The short answer?

Who Cares?

The long answer?

Whatever Storer’s design for the show, whether he moves forward in the unclear relationship between Syd and Carmy or buckles down on either platonic or romantic, he’s definitely won.

The show has buzz. It’s got attention and heat.

You hate the romance, so you watch it to prove it’s not there. You love the romance, so you watch it to prove it IS there. You’re curious because every news site talks about it, so you just have to watch it.

Even I’ll admit, I’ve rewatched it and stayed hooked to prove my little delusion. (And because it’s beautifully acted, but who cares about that).

So whether you’re pro or against, just remember:

There is no controversy that wasn’t first stirred up by a clever strategist.