#ask me about the kids anytime ;)
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Do we have any info on the cosplaying male characters to transmasc pipeline?
#Iâm just saying#I started cosplaying dude and three years later I realised I was a dude#a kid I know from some sports stuff started cosplaying guys (back when they were identifying as a girl) and now they are 100% dude#I picked my cousin up from school the other day#and she started complaining to me about how her parents are against her going as Cas for Halloween#she reassured me many times that she doesnât actually want to be a boy she just wants to cosplay him#I did not ask if she wanted to be a boy#after about the sixth time she umpromptedly reassured me she didnât I told her it was ok if she did#let her know if always be there for her and she can talk to me anytime Iâll be there and be chill about it#she got real quiet after that and didnât say anything else til she got out of the car#anyway#weâll see I suppose#transmasc
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Could I ask your pronouns pretty pleaseee
whatever's funniest
#jest/er#court/fool#these r jokes#i default to she/her bc that's how ppl read me#but im happy w anything! none of them feel any better than any others so it's whatever#yk that tweet that's 'im probably non-binary but i have a job'#me fr#anytime i can avoid giving pronouns and leave people with a sense of general confusion instead that's my preference#but since u asked nicely#a friend said 'every time i she/her you i have to think about it bc it feels ... wrong'#that's the vibe#i guess i prefer not to be 'it' but that's just bc i didn't enjoy playing tag as a kid
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Love hearing my mom muttering about how stressful being my parent is and about how exhausting it is after I. Asked her if I should be worried about not being able to breathe. Jesus fucking Christ I just want to be able to rely on my parents for five minutes is that too much to fucking ask for
#candyskiez vent#im sorry me being worried about my health is so inconvenient. I'm sorry i get upset when i get injured.#god why didnt she get a fucking abortion if she hates being a parent so much#i can't ask her for Shit. anytime she admits she was a bad parent t me its repeating until i forgive her#sje makes my trauna abkut her. oh no its so sad that HER child got raped.#oh no its so sad SHE didnt stop my grandma from abusing me#oh no its so hard for HER to be guilty#i cant be upset at her because her kids being upset at her ks stressful for her.#shes not the one traumatized.#im so tired i want to fucking cry
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not to be a complete ungrateful terrible horrible brat for a minute but like having a terminally ill parent who is also terminally fucking shitty really sucks because not only do you personally have to cope with your parent actively dying but also said parent will get mad at you for wanting time to yourself and not wanting to be their live in nurse 24/7 and also like completely forget about who you are and what you're like as a person especially in terms of like . energy level. because it's not convenient to them right now so anytime you try to think of yourself it always feels like you're Choosing Wrong
#crow.txt#like fuck me i hardly have the wherewithal to take care of myself. i do not also have the wherewithal OR PATIENCE#to take care of a WHOLE OTHER PERSON#and anytime i express im feeling run down and not really able to do Whatever#its always wah wah I RAISED YOU AS A KID. okay? nobody fucking asked you to do all that! by the way! nobody made you#least of all fuckin me.#if i had any say in the matter i wouldnt have been born like are you fucking kidding me#all of this has just been. utterly hazardous to my mental health.#that tweet about shitty parents thinking youll still take care of them when theyre old holds true#like no. your ass is going to a home. i cannot do this.#i am not qualified for this. i dont like that nobody really listens to me period anyway#but its worse when nobody really listens to me when i say i need a break or that im tired or whatever#like im sorry but hot take a lot of people are not really equipped to be caretakers for relatives and theres nothing wrong with that#idk what she wants me to say to I Raised You besides nobody asked you to or i wish you didnt#like do i Want to hurt anyones feelings. no. but i can! i fucking will! if you keep ignoring mine!#lord have fucking mercy my head hurts.
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i understand that i may very well be the asshole here but still. i would like to know in advance if my sister + her 2 kids + my other sister's two kids are going to have a sleepover at our place. especially when i had work today and will have work tomorrow. yeahyeah i LIKE all of these people i'm glad they are having fun. but jesus christ CANT YOU WARN A GUY !!!!!!!
#i just hateeee when things happen without warning. and take all evening. in my safe place no less. did i mention without warning#like a simple 'your sister(s) and their kids are coming over and staying the night' type of message would have solved this problem!#but anytime i try to ask for that kind of courtesy from mom she just starts guilttripping me about me not wanting to see them#I DO WANT TO SEE THEM. I JUST WISH YOU WOULD WARN ME. GOD!!!!!!#ok now i'm normal. i'm normal
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MY LIFE IS NOT REAL WHAT IS GOING ON
#GUYS#so for context before i get into the storytime i currently live at home with my mom and brother#and my mom came into my room at like 10:30 and said âi need you to go downstairs and be the adult right now because i canât deal with thisâ#(âmy mom is 54 and iâm 20 but sure iâll be the adult???)#so basically. my brother (13) gave our fucking address to some random person on discord who claims to be 11 but who the fuck knows#keep in mind my brother was born in 2011 so heâs grown up with the internet his whole life#and heâs been told countless times by my entire family not to give out personal information online but he has done it multiple times#anyway he says he and his friends from school have been talking to this âkidâ on discord for like a year#and none of them know him irl bc he lives in rhode island or something but theyâve apparently been on video calls with him and seen his face#so thereâs a good chance he actually is a kid but i personally donât trust anything online anymore so iâm not totally convinced#but anyway he apparently sent my brother what looked like a youtube link but when he clicked on it it gave this kid his ip address#i have no idea how that shit works or if thatâs possible but thatâs what heâs saying#and then my brother was arguing with this kid bc i guess heâs racist?? and the kid was like âjust remember i have your addressâ#and my brother is being super vague about everything but i guess the kid implied he was going to send a swat team to our house or some shit#so my brother freaked out and called the cops and since my mom wanted me to be the adult i had to go sit downstairs and wait for them#and let me tell you it was so fucking embarrassing standing there while my brother told the cop this insane story#and while my brother was inside getting his phone the cop asked me âso whatâs the deal do you think this is legit or just kids talking shitâ#like bro donât ask me i have no idea what the fuck is going on and iâm so sorry you had to come to our house to deal with this đ#anyway heâs going to file a report so if the cops get a call anytime soon about a murder or something happening at our houseâ#âtheyâll call me or my mom to ask whatâs going on and make sure itâs not this fucking kid from rhode island swatting us#so that was my night! what the fuck#iâve never regretted moving back home more than i do right now#lj.txt
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||. ambition is telling myself i'll finally sit down and write the "deconstructing the Frozen Vault" meta bc man ppl clearly don't understand 2011 era thor at all
#(ask to tag for salt below lol)#(anytime i hear that my boy is a gen//ocida.l maniac i get so confused)#(thor isn't the one who tried to kill an entire race in the first movie orz)#(he in fact only ever stated he wanted to make a statement)#(the statement being âi'm the new king and i'm in charge so back off bc i won't let you be tyrantsâ @ frst giants)#(otherwise known as âi may not be od//i.n but you're not getting any leeway with me to hurt other people don't try itâ)#(all of this post them breaking into the vault and /killing asgardians to do it/ â which he didn't know was staged)#(also: if y'all really think a ten-year-old (figuratively) kid actually know what it means to 'kill them all just like you did')#(i would love for you to go talk to kids who get excited about nerf guns in grade school đ
)#(also imagine thinking a ~10 y/o would wanna do anything besides emulate their father who was a war hero in their eyes at the time)#(and has kept peace for 1000+ years like...he just wanted to be like his dad and he was an overexcited well meaning tiny boy)#(why are we pretending he wasn't)#( ooc . ) â stories that leap from the page .#personals do not reblog.
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Miss Ninaa!! When are you free for the summer???
hello, sweetling! and good morning, good afternoon or good night wherever it is that you are. <3 regardless of the time of day, please just know that the world around you is brighter bc you're in it. c':
so i just want to start out by saying that i know i say this a lot...but i cannot tell you what it means to me that you guys care enough about me to be curious about the trajectory of my offline life.
...like, i really just have the sweetest anons in the world, huh? ;-;
i feel unbelievably blessed and count my lucky stars everyday because of each and everyone of you. thank you for being your lovely, lovely selves and caring not only about me as a person but my silly and strange au styles from hell.
speaking of, i am aware that it does not seem like it because of how sporadically i post ncu related content ( if at all ) but i am trying to work on some stuff...as you know well by now, i like to really take my time putting out my work because the quality of the content that you read is paramount to me. you are all far too near and dear to my heart to receive lame, rushed, unclear boof ass content from me.
like...i simply will not do it. thank you for your paitence.
( i will say that i am specifically working on an ask about the greenhouse kiss which AAAAAA giggling, twirling my hair and kicking my feet, like it is SOOOOO satisfying, holy shit! it's also very, very important to the plot which is why i have been taking my time on it. i do hope to put it out today but i am trying not to make promises that i can't keep, get your hopes and dreams up just to dash them and most unfortunately, i do not have a great track record in that regard. i know it's kind of a bummer...but i like to be honest w/ y'all. )
ANYWAYS!
without further ado, here's a little glimpse into my life. xx
again, thank you for asking...that is very cute of you. c': <333
( this is lengthy and lowkey irrelevant. you can absolutely skip this but i think that i am pretty informative in here, so it might be useful? idk. )
so actually, my summer is pretty busy and jam-packed for the most part! or, the first two months are, at least. because i decided to take on summer camp here at the school i work on! camp counsellor nina!
i decided to nab a summer camp supervising position for a couple of reasons. like, obviously, teaching does not pay that much, so really, i need to make all the money i can while i can. don't worry about me tho, guys. bc actually am doing extremely well for myself. <333
( i am a very lucky person, haha -- god nerfed me by being mentally ill, but did make me pretty and personable...which gets me far in life. on the topic of mental illness [ of which i am very ] today i should fare quite well bc other than having a mild headache and being lowkey naseous because my mood stabilizer has that side effect for me...it is worth it when i rem(ember) to take it because it makes me very calm and level, so i am better at responding to my asks/doing my tasks. )
another reason is it keeps me busy...when i am not constantly busy, i get very depressed and fall into gnarly sprials. my job has a lot of downtime and when i am not running around like crazy because a bunch of teachers are out, i'm bored as fuck and i get lazy or restless.
very lame...this summer, i will be looking for a different job ( fml, if you are my boss, don't read this ) and i am a bad procrastinator so i missed the deadline for a fuck ton of teaching positions, but hopefully i can find something in the realm of associate or assistant teaching because....lmao, point and laugh but i am still a little too nervous to teach a whole class by myself. if kids get disadvantaged academically because i am too incompetent at teaching, i will die.
but yeah...if i am still babysitting fourteen year olds after this ( they did grow on me, but it's really not my speed ) please also point and laugh because i would rather go back to retail...yes, i am desperate.
on the subject of teaching kids that are in my wheelhouse and doing stuff my speed, summer camp is actually all k-5 so i will FINALLY being doing a majority of my teaching in the age group that i have my literal credential in. YAY! it's going to be hot as shit where i am over the summer, probably also tiring as shit ( have you seen how little kids act in the summer? ) but i am so fkn exCITED to work with the littles HEEEEELLL YES, BROTHER! uncle nina will be Vibing! <333
so for the first four weeks i am doing general camp stuff, getting a feel for stuff and wokring with all the grade levels...but the LAST two weeks, i get to specifically associate teach in the kindergarten classroom and AAAAAAAA!!!!! I FKN LOVE THE KINDERS!!!!! i visit them every other day because, again, i am bored as shit and they need help over there so i usually hang out with them in PE and play hula hoop tag with them...rn they are learning how to jump rope. soooo stinking cute, oh my god.
-- BUT YES I AM SOOOOO FREAKING STOKED YOU GUYS LIKE I WAS MADE FOR THIS BROTHER. i am gonna wear so many crazy outfits and do such weird makeup pray it doesn't melt off my face.
also, during camp, they go on little field trips and things, hopefully swimming, ( uncle nina is mermaid nina ) and feed you the same stuff as the campers so i get to eat like a nasty frat boy and have pizza and pasta and stuff, which, let me tell you, i am genuinely stoked because they cater a free lunch for the faculty here everyday and it's supposed to be all fancy and shit...but there is a reason it's free because it is SOOOO mid. like it really is kind of ass. i don't know how they do that.
but, sigh, camp is only six weeks so i have to fill my time with other stuff ( also i guess that means in six weeks from when school is done on june...14th, i think? i am free? ) i hope to use that time to structure the fuck out of my life, planf or the future because i am hella bad at it and i hope to do a lot of writing! kind of a pipe dream at this point becaue all my stuff has been *british tolkien vc* actual shite and i can't finish anything...but maybe when i feel better, writing will come easier? when i am less busy and stressed? i hope so. and i hope you guys are still around if i am here but i Completely understand if you are not! it's been a long, bumpy ride. you did your dues and you are free to step off at any time. again, i do not blame you. i am annoying.
BUT YEAH! that's my summer for you! summer camp, hanging out with my cat ( her name is lily, she is very beautiful, very kind, very fluffy and dumb as rocks but she is my babygirl ), getting lots of sushi, going to the thrift store, doing self care stuff, doing less self harm in various odd forms specifically in the form of self sabotage, getting my life together and organized, finding a new job, bettering myself and the world, being kind, entertaining all of you and hopefully writing again! yay! i'll update you as much as i can.
and please, please, pleeeease update me on your lives! i know i don't always respond, but i read everything. my friend who won FIRST PLACE for her raven sculpture, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU BABY. my friends who unfortunately went through breakups, i am so sorry, please know it is their loss, you are stronger for it and i hope you heal, but if ravesey can...you can baby. also proud of my various friends going to college and my friends that are not! my friends toiling through their lame jobs and my friends who are dipping their toes in the world of creativity through writing, drawing expressing yourself! i love, love, LOVE you! thank you for sharing your lives with me.
( speaking of friends, i am specifically hoping to spend my summer bonding with my rant girlies and we made a little group chat and we are being so funny and chaotic and unhinged. i love them all so bad. )
BUT YEAH! thank you for asking my love! look out for some important in character asks, hopefully some finished or more distinguished writing and know that if i am not responding or posting, it is not because i lost interest...as you can see, i am very busy, especially as the school year approaches an end, my summer is a little busy, i fall into ugly manic/depressive cycles and am working on taking care of myself...offline. thank you for understanding.
and thank you for being here! you are troopers, forreal! you are angels and saints for putting up for me and enduring me never posting or posting really chaotic weird stuff. i love you. thanks for caring. <3
i love you and i hope you heal,
uncle nina, future ceo of glamour girl summer camp <3
P.S. i am specifically working on developing and post more about my other aus because i want to give you some variety and challenge myself to do stuff out of my comfort zone! so if you are excited at all about the tsot/tfbw nina stuff, please make some NOOOOISE! lol and if you are not i totally get it, but if you could give me gentility and grace, i would appreciate it because i'm insecure abt it. MWAH!
#hi baby!#thank you SO much for asking you are so stinking cute for this like omg i am blushing thank you so much#i am working on answering some asks but its slow goings but i am emotionally stable nina today so hell yeah brother#i love the greenhouse kiss ask but it requires a lot of context moving parts and me explaining stuff thoroughly#thank you for being paitent i hope its worth it#i also don't know how much people care about my dead ass fanfic or any of my stuff but thanks for fighting the good fight#anyways! camp counsellor nina!#i get to work with the k-5 kids i am so stoked its gonna be loud and very hot outside but fun and enriching#very stoked to do something entertaining#when i tell you i am BORED it fucking sucks like this job is so ass and rn my school is kinda going through messy drama#so it's not pleasant to be here i am not having fun#BUT I WILL! and i have a lot of fun answering my asks hell ya#wokring on getting another job holy shit please pray for me#but yah! trying to be a better me and come back into myself and write more comfortably you guys are helping me#thank you for respecting my time and need for space#i am pretty introverted inspite of my little god complex big scary writer routine and i get overwhelmed by attention#i never quite know what to say but i'm trying#write to me anytime i love you#also i had a friend send me an ask and ask me if their question is odd -- it's not sweetheart i just don't have an answer yet#i haven't shdslkhdld thought about it hard enough but i will get back to you haha y'all are unhinged and kind and so cute#ily ily ILY
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Sometimes I think how in Blue Sky, Chell and Wheatley have a kid. Which on one hand, I really don't find any appeal in the "domestic couple raises a kid" trope unless its found family or the kid is adopted. So yeah, pretty expected opinion from me-
BUT ON THE OTHER, I know geekenders did a whole thing with Blue Sky where they reenacted parts of the fic and I like to think that exists within the universe of the musical. So i'm providing some silver lining to this-
Rick and Fact become uncle figures for the Chell and Wheatley's kid. Bonus points if the kid gets into space.
#Which reminds me of the 2015 joke of Rick being a sad uncle lol#Chelley#Portal 2#Portal 2 the unauthorized musical#rick the adventure core#Rick Portal 2#Adventure Core Portal 2#Fact Core Portal 2#Could be interpeted as Factventure if you want#Geekenders#I have no clue of the current state of Rick and Fact within Blue Sky but let me have this#Blue Sky#Now i'm just thinking about Wheatley and Chell having a kid outside of Blue Sky and GLaDOS being a wine aunt and Space being a fun uncle#GLaDOS: Is your mom and moron getting a divorce anytime soon? Asking for no reason in particular just curious
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very sad watching my one that got away, my childhood crush, the boy i grew up with and probably the only guy i could ever even see myself being happy with destroy his life the way his father did :(
#look away im feeling feelings for a man for once i know its embarassing#just get this overwhelming sadness whenever i come back home and see him and he is more and more like his father everytime#even after when we were kids he used to talk about how much he didnt want to be like that and how he wasnt going toâŠ..#but also he never really left this place and i dont know hes always been weird about me leaving#we were having coffee and he asked when i finished college and when id come bacn to live here and like#im not gonna come back anytime soon just the thought makes me miserable and ive always said i wanted to be somewhere else when we were kids#feel like ive abandoned him we used to be so close when we were kids we were always at eachothers houses and then it stopped i guess#:((((#idk i cant help but think about these things every time we hang out and i know im not responsible for his life choices#and what he does with his life its his business but still#it makes me sad
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This might sound a bit odd, but Childe for the character bingo (Not FL)
~ The anon who wanted Kaveh but didn't want Baizhu or Ganyu Why is this just my self name now lmao
i like normal Childe!! almost as much as i like Foul Legacy... not quite tho. the circled ones are the ones i'm unsure/hesitant on because Childe has a lot of layers, he's a complex lad!!! i like him but it's hard to explain why... he's like a stress toy i would squish when nervous or mad but also i love him and want a hug but also the common fan characterization of him is so rancid to me that sometimes i want to stay 100 miles away. none of this makes sense at all, but long story short i like him very much but only certain characterizations of him (like mine), especially ones that give him depth, love those a lot
hehe i like that anon name it makes me smile :)
#chit chat#anon#ask game#if you want to shorten the anon name tho that is completely ok!!#anyways i like childe. he's skrunkly#but i see characterization of him that i legitimately dislike#like ok personal thing but anytime anyone says âchilde wants a family with youâ#and the implication is âhave kidsâ#i immediately close out of it#like. i dunno a lot of people like that headcanon which is fine! i'm happy for them!#but someone being so deadset on having kids to the point people make that one of their main character traits#is.... eugh.......#again that's just a personal thing for me#and i'm not even gonna get STARTED on the characterization of him as a bloodthirsty maniac#like yall!! he can be both a charismatic person who cares about others and like fighting and bloodshed!!#it's not pick and choose one character trait!!#anyways rant over these are just my opinions don't mind me#good evening :)
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there's something to be said about the very specific feeling of frailty you feel when you come face to face with just how little you've experienced. twenty-odd years on planet earth and you haven't really watched all that many movies. an unlived life facing an uncertain future. i do not know where to point the finger of blame because i live untethered from my past, floating in the present with no clear point of reference no clear definition of who i am or what happened to me and how i turned out the way i am (fucking. can you guess why five is my favorite game. insert that one lyric from that one modest mouse song.) but you're still here, and you can still learn, and you can catch up, but it still feels like you're a pitiful little nobody looking for excuses trying to explain why you're still new to the whole being alive thing. i've got a good head on my shoulders, though, for all that's worth, so i think i might be fine.
in other news, i watched scarface tonight. it was certainly a movie. don't really understand how the movie made it big, but it did have some damn good music. i mean, i don't know. i'm still learning about the world i live in. maybe it really is as much of a masterpiece as people make it out to be and i'm too dumb to see the reason why it's considered a classic. maybe i'm right. i can't tell at the moment. it's kind of a beggars can't be choosers situation - if you ain't watched that many movies, then you can't really be a good judge of quality. but, oh, well. it's one more movie watched. it's a win because i watched a movie. and i'll watch more movies.
#i mean this extends to things like world politics also i'm still learning and i'm eager to learn beyond what i am offered but that doesn't#make the process any less fucking terrifying. like sure fuck yeah i'll be a big shot and do it alone and i'll be proud of myself but the#thing is i really really really don't know how to be alone without feeling empty#and it's funny because the thing i yearn for the most is to be free and to create myself and do things on my own and i can do that i've#learned how to be an adult very early on and people say ah you've yet to face the worst but every time they tell me that i tell them i can't#wait#but at the same time sometimes i sit and i wonder why i haven't watched that many movies. was there nobody to watch them with? could i have#asked? could things have been different? is it my fault for never having really wanted things or somebody else's? and i'll never really have#a clear answer to any of those questions or at least not anytime soon because my cranium is messed up and unreliable but i won't get the#answers anywhere else. shrugs. i've yet to start living a life. i don't know when i died but i do know but maybe that's just an idea and#maybe i've been dead all along until some point in the past two years but then what are all those memories i have where did they come from#why are they so far apart why do they feel mine and foreign at the same time. can you guess who my favorite mg character is.#well okay i have like what four or five of those but read the text again and think really really hard about it. i'm just kidding i'm goofing#around at this point. i mean no not really but i am smiling about it. :]#logs
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Going to the bathroom at a buffet and the stall door flew open and exposed my boypussy to the world
#while i was typing the word boy pussy my grandma asked me if Im gonna have children anytime soon like loolll#not unless everyone gets real cool about a lot of things real quick#oh my god she is now asking my school teacher mother about trans kids
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bingo!!!
I made an acespec bingo!
*Mentioned in the bingo is the term âm-specâ - it stands for âmultiple attraction spectrumâ and is a spectrum of orientations defined by attraction to multiple genders.
A common aspec (asexual and aromantic spectrum) experience is thinking youâre m-spec before figuring out you are actually aspec.
You can support me by following me on my socials (link in bio) and engaging with my posts, thank you đ§Ą
#I'm young enough that it makes sense for me to still find it gross#so I don't get asked about it really at all but anytime my parents are like âyippee we can't wait to be grandparentsâ#I have to crush their dreams again and remind them that I never plan on having kids let alone getting married đ€đ€đ
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â đđđđđ đđ đđđđ â
â SATORU GOJO HAS LOVED YOU SINCE YOU WERE KIDS - HEâS GONNA MAKE YOU HIS ! â
⧠series: call it what you want (part one)
⧠pairing: younger!satoru gojo x reader
⧠summary: satoru gojo fell in love with you from the moment he met you at eight years old. and now, in his twenties, when he sees you again after you move back to be closer to your aunt and your cousin, suguru, he knows â he has to make you his by the end of the summer.
⧠warnings: 18+, nsfw, eventual smut, childhood friends to strangers to lovers, fake dating, gojo is four years younger than you, rich boy!gojo, suguru is your little cousin, very fluffy, slow burn, like they don't even kiss, but they will :), love at first sight for gojo, naoya is your ex,
⧠w/c: 15,285
âNever thought weâd be doing this, did you?â Satoru muttered in your ear, breath fanning hot against your neck, âbe a little quieter, sweetheart, otherwise Suguru might hear us,âÂ
You whine, but his fingers drag against your kiss bitten lips, until the digits slide into your mouth, as his hips rut against yours. And you didnât think youâd ever be in position with your cousinâs best friend â pressed to the doorway of your apartment where Suguru could walk in at anytime.Â
This isn't what you thought would happen when you invited him over to talk. This isn't what you thought would happen when you agreed to pretend to date him. This isn't what you thought about -- but how could you think about anything with the way his breath felt against your skin?
He loved you -- loved you since you were kids, and he couldn't let you go, not like this. Not when he had you.
Not that you even wanted him to.
You didnât think youâd shiver as he pressed open mouthed kisses down your neck, tongue flicking against your burning skin. You never thought youâd want to moan his name, like you had, far too many times.Â
âYou may have never thought about this, Princess, but I sure have,â he presses a kiss to your jaw, the wet sounds your skin slapping together, as he reaches around your body, pinned on your stomach to the mattress, to rub at your swollen clit, drawing a muffled cry from your lips, âfar too many times,âÂ
In fact, Satoru Gojo knew exactly the first time he fell for you. It was the day he first met you.Â
âBe my girlfriend!âÂ
It was less of a question and more of a statement. Â
One declared in the doorway of your room, with flushed cheeks and flowers in hand. And they werenât your cheeks or hands, but your baby cousinâs best friend.Â
The first time Satoru Gojo asked you out was at the ripe old age of eleven, but truth be told he had held this crush since the moment he saw you when he had come over to Suguruâs house for the first time, almost three years ago now.
Your fingers brushed his as you gently took the flowers, âSatoru, you know I care about you, but not like that. Youâre better off seeing other people your own age, ok?â You smiled at him, the same way you always did, a slight pout on his lips as he nodded, saying nothing more.Â
And you knew you were right â there was no fucking question that you were right. He was eleven and you were fifteen â an age gap untenable and unreachable.
But nowâ
âLong time no see,â Satoru said, lips curled in an all too cocky smile that you couldnât believe belonged to the same blushing kid who confessed so earnestly back then, âitâs been too long,â your name rolled off his tongue with a familiarity that was the same but all too different.Â
But he wasnât a kid anymore â far from it. It had been over a decade since you had seen him, as the summer he confessed was the last one you had spent at your aunt and uncleâs home. And you and your family moved overseas shortly after that, and you didnât return until now, four years after you graduated college, for a job offer you couldnât pass up.Â
And you didnât realize that so much time had passed.Â
But he did.Â
âEh? What do you mean you canât help me unpack today, Sugu?â you hold the phone between your ear and shoulder, as you rip open the tape on yet another box you had hauled into the proper room to unpack, âyou told meââÂ
âI told you Iâd help you unpack if I had time. But now, Iâm stuck at work until the evening,â you heard your cousin sigh over the phone, âBut donât worry â youâll have helpââÂ
Youâre too busy trying to rip the tape off as you rip into Suguru to notice the door creaking open behind you, âSuguru, I swear to god if youâre sending a total random stranger to help meââÂ
âNot a total stranger,â a voice says behind you, and your head whips around so quick, you nearly drop your phone, gripping it, âunless not seeing me for years makes me one,âÂ
A mess of white locks and sunglasses tilted downward to reveal a hint of his cerulean eyes that you could never forget â but still, you barely recognize the man that has them. Even if the grin on his lips with the lilting sound of his voice told you that he very much recognized you.Â
âSatoru?â Suguruâs explanation falls on deaf ears, as Satoruâs eyes donât bother to take in your new place, all too focused on you, hands slipping into his pockets, âyouââÂ
He steps forward and plucks the phone from your fingers, âYo Suguru, I told you itâd be better as a surprise,â and you gape at him, as his grin curls wider, âyeah, yeah, I didnât take the phone to have you lecturing me â I get enough of that from my dad,â and Suguru says something that makes Satoruâs cheeks flush, and he hangs up, before his attention returns to you, âso, shall we unpack?âÂ
A few minutes turns into hours of hauling boxes inside and then unpacking them. Itâs relatively silent, surprisingly for Satoru. The silence was a far cry from the boy who couldnât shut up for two seconds, telling you about the test he aced or something stupid that one of his classmates said or asking you about your day.Â
Instead you watch him haul boxes like they were filled with styrofoam and air from the truck outside, and then lift his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face, a flash of his abs shiny with perspiration. Your eyes dart away, suddenly incredibly fascinated with the contents of this box of kitchenware you opened up, cheeks burning, wondering when did the little boy you looked after become a man?Â
âPrincess, where do you want this?â Satoru lifts a box, and you canât see the writing on it from the angle he picks it up.Â
âDo you still have to call me Princess?â The embarrassing nickname your aunt had given you still stuck â the one that Suguru would always tease you with, while Satoruâs decidedly lacked any malice, âmy aunt only called me that because she wanted a girl so bad,âÂ
âIs that why Suguru is growing out his hair now? Trying to fulfill her dreams?â You snort, as you walk over to him, âit still fits you regardless of the reason Princess,âÂ
Youâre close, even with the box providing glancing around the box until you find it scrawled on the box underneath his arm â his veryâŠmuscular arm, veins bulging and muscles tense underneath the weight of the boxâ
âSo this is stuff for my bedroom, you can just leave it on the floor, itâs right over here,â you lead him over and he places down the box, âI think thatâs mostly it, Iâm sorry Suguru made you come down here to help,âÂ
âYou donât need to apologize, I wanted to see you,â and you smile softly, âitâs been too long,âÂ
âIt really has,â and your neck strains a little with how he towered over you, âcan't believe youâre the same little boy I used to babysit,âÂ
And he rolls his eyes, âSuguru would say itâs arguable I could still use a babysitter,â and you chuckle, âIâm not so little anymore, but I wouldnât mind if you were my babysitter,âÂ
Was he? No. No, he wasnât.Â
Right?Â
âStop fucking around,â you shake your head, as you head into the kitchen, âdo you want to wash up, and then maybe Iâll order take out to thank you?â Youâre turning on the faucet.Â
You donât notice the slight pout on his lips, one he schools into a smile as you glance back at him, blinking as you find him shirtless.Â
Fuck. How was it possible for a person to be this gorgeous? Sweat slid down his body, slipping between the dips of his chest and ridges of his abs until disappearing into the fabric of his pants, or somewhere hiddenâÂ
You look away â âIâd rather take a shower. Do you mind?â And you force your voice not to come out a squeak, busying yourself with washing your hands, just so you donât have to look.Â
âYeah, of course, the bathroom is just around the corner. There should already be fresh towels inside,â and yet his steps grow closer, as you glance back, âuhââÂ
Heâs still fucking shirtless.Â
âInstead of take out, can we grab dinner somewhere? You havenât been back to the area recently so itâs a good chance to show you around,âÂ
âYou really donât have toââÂ
âI want to, Princess,â he cuts you off, reaching around you to grab a water bottle off the counter, âget ready while I clean up?âÂ
And you bite your lip, âOkay, okay,â and he grins back, a glimpse of the little boy that beams at you when youâd praise him for a high mark on a test.Â
âItâs a date!â And heâs off, disappearing into the bathroom, and youâre left there, wondering â what had you gotten yourself into?Â
~~~
âSo,â Satoru lifts a spoonful of his dessert â a fruit parfait with a sugar coma inducing amount of whipped cream â and you were almost relieved to see some things about him hadnât changed. How many times had you scolded him as a kid not to eat so much sugar â and he still hasnât kicked the habit. You bit back your chuckle, as he spoke, âdid you get dumped?âÂ
You almost choke on your drink, as you splutter for a moment, before glaring at him.Â
And yet the more they stayed the same.Â
âI see youâre as subtle as you were when you were 11,â you mutter, setting your drink down, as you wipe your mouth with a napkin. Satoru tilts his head, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.Â
âSo you dumped him?â He leans back, âI didnât know you had such high standards,â your cheeks burn, distracting yourself with becoming enthralled in the menu â Satoru had dragged you to a hole in the wall barbecue place (after your insistence that you didnât want anything fancy after unpacking for hours).Â
âHow did you know I brokeââ and you cut yourself off at the obviousness of the answer, slapping another piece of meat on the grill, the sizzle punctuated by your words, âIâm going to murder him,âÂ
âWell, youâre in the right place to dispose of his body,â Satoru licks the spoon clean, before sticking it back in the whipped cream, âwhy did you break up with him?âÂ
You shrugged, âI realized he was a narcissistic prick who only wanted me as a trophy,â and Satoru whistled lowly, âIâm done with dating losers. And dating in general,âÂ
âI donât think you should give up on dating just because you had a few bad experiences,â his voice grows soft, âyou deserve to be happy and taken care of, even if you have bad taste,âÂ
And you pout, âI donât have-â and he tilts his head, and you lift a few pieces of meat from the grill onto your plate, tongs clattering slightly as you set it down, âfuck, I do,â you groan, shaking your head, âthatâs why I had to get out of there. Just needed a fresh start you know?âÂ
âSometimes thatâs just what you need,â and your lips curl.Â
âSounds like you speak from experience,â and his eyes flit up to yours, gleaming in the low light of the restaurant, cerulean irises catching the drops of light like comets across his gaze.Â
âDonât know what you mean, Princess,â he busies himself with his parfait, and you scoff.Â
âCome on, half the girls in this place are glaring at me while I sit here, the waitress has been flirting with you, and now they had brought you out the biggest dessert that Iâm starting to wonder if they even serve it here,â he spares a glance around, several gasps from giggling girls who avert their gazes, before his eyes are back on you.Â
âJealous?â You roll your eyes â he wasnât lacking for ego at least.Â
âMore like wondering what a guy like you is still doing single,â and he sighs, leaning back, with a tilt of his head.Â
âYou sure are curious about me,â and his gaze softens for a moment, while he picks at his dessert, scooping the strawberry off the top, âthereâs only really been one person that I really wanted,â his tone grew more serious, lips in a bittersweet smile, âbut sheâs never really looked me like that,âÂ
âDonât tell me itâs one of those things where she rejected you and you have to have her now,â and he chuckles, shaking his head, gaze far too wistful.Â
His words are slow, as slow as the ice melting in your glass, âItâs more of if I donât have her, I donât want anyone else,â and your heart squeezed â would you ever have someone care so deeply for you?Â
âThen why havenât you said anything?â you picked up another piece of meat off the grill, âanyone would be lucky to be with you,â and you meant it â he was blunt, but also kind, sweet, not to mention rich and you flushed as you thought back to his hiked up shirt â good looking.Â
But he only stares back at you, tilting his head â expression unreadable, an emotion you canât grasp before itâs hidden under his gazeâs tempered waters, âAre you included, Princess?âÂ
Thereâs a pause, as you almost chuckle, but your laugh dying in your throat at his expression â that same smirk, but the way he looks at you stops your mind in its tracks â only one word rolling around in your head: what?Â
And your brow furrows, your lips parting in a response you donât have â only questions, ones you donât get to ask as Suguru slides in beside you.Â
âSorry, Iâm late,â Suguru sighs, the moment broken, and you donât catch Satoruâs expression, too distracted by your cousin, âgot stuck in a staff meeting,âÂ
âI told you academia is hell,â you elbow him, and Suguru rolls his eyes, as he shrugs off his suit coat, âwere these meetings the reasons you got held up or are they just an excuse so you didnât have to help me?âÂ
âWho said it canât be both?â And he earns a smack to his shoulder, your attention turning back to Satoru, his gaze fixed outside.Â
âYouâre unusually quiet, Satoruâ Suguru kicks him lightly under the table, ânot like you,âÂ
He looks at you first â and you grasp the emotion he had hid before â what was it? Sadness? Longing? â right before itâs gone again as he slides his mask back on, grinning as he always does.Â
âWhat can I say? The view outside is much better than your ugly mug,â and the two of them begin to bicker, and you lean back in your seat, a smile pulling at your lips, even as you glanced back at Satoru.Â
And now you wondered if you would ever get an answer to your questions. Or maybe, you sipped your drink, it was better not to have it answered at all.Â
~~~
Satoru Gojo was eleven years old when he fell in love with you. It was from the moment he met you.Â
And there hasnât been anyone else since.Â
He supposed it was inevitable in a way â since Suguru was his best friend, and his first, and when his family finally decided to enroll him in school, instead opting for private tutors, for the social aspect of making connections, of course. Because what else was your eleven year old son good for then helping to make future business deals easier?Â
But Satoru made friends with the one person who couldnât help their deals â Suguru Geto, one of the only scholarship students in the entire school. And Satoruâs want to avoid spending his days with servants or on the rare occasion, dealing with his dadâs lecture for getting in another âdisagreementâ with one of his classmates (that ended with that classmate crying after Satoru evaded his punch and kicked him in the shin), ended up with him at Suguruâs place. A lot.Â
Then soon enough, he was spending most of his summers there too. And thatâs when he saw you.Â
âYou said your cousinâs here? Is she nice?â Satoru asked, taking off his shoes, as Suguru shut the door behind them.Â
âShe is, except when sheâs being a pain about homework. And when she gets mad, she reminds me of my mom,â Suguru grimaced, as he walked past him, calling out for you. You rounded the corner, book in hand, and Satoruâs eyes grew wide.Â
âHey Sugu, you brought a friend?â You walked over, still clad in your high school uniform, before introducing yourself, and offering him a warm smile, âitâs nice to meet you. Iâm Suguruâs cousin,âÂ
Satoru didnât know what this feeling was â and he wouldnât until a few more summers passed, and his hormones kicked in â but all he knew was that he would do anything to see you smile like that at him again. And he did â he would spend as much time as he could with you â talking to you about a test he aced, about something funny that happened at school, or even ratting on Suguru about what he was up to (earning him many knocks to the head by his best friend). But every time you smiled or laughed, it was worth it â worth every second he spent counting down the time to summer break so he could see you again.Â
But he didnât know his seconds would run out so soon â and he only learned one random day going home with Suguru, from a snippet of a conversation he had with his mom.Â
âI know, I know sheâs coming next week,â Satoruâs interest hadnât been peaked by Suguruâs conversation until then, because he knew exactly who they were talking about. After all, you always came right at the start of break, and finally he could see you again â and maybe this time, he could tell you how he felt.Â
âI know, I know itâs her last time here so it has to be perfect,â and Satoruâs head snapped back to Suguru, last time? âI will,â and Suguru hangs up, a sigh on his lips, âmy mom is being so annoying about my cousin. So what itâs her last time staying with us? It doesnât mean we have toââÂ
âWhat do you mean itâs her last time?â Satoru kept his tone steady and slow, even as his heart thrummed against his ribs as if it was a xylophone, âshe always comes every summerââÂ
âOf high school,â Suguru corrected him, âshe is applying to university this year â most of them are abroad, and it seems likely she wonât be back in Japan, not for a while,â Suguru continued to complain on their way back to his place, but all Satoru could do was think about you.Â
It was your last summer with him. His last chance to make a move, to be something more than your younger cousinâs friend. His last chance to make you see him as a man, not a kid.Â
He had to confess, his fingers curled into fists, before the end of the summer. He would make you his girlfriend â one way or another.Â
And he did confess back then, Satoru thought, as he picked up a photo, wrinkled and yellowed at the corners, a picture that Suguruâs mom had taken of you and him the summer you had left. A candid of him and you looking at each other â one that Suguruâs mom had slipped to him with a knowing smile and a wink (one that had mortified him as a teenager).Â
He was always looking at you â no matter where he was, his eyes always found your form, a magnet to its opposite pole, and he didnât know how to stop you from drawing him in. It had been over a decade and he still couldnât.Â
He stared at your smiling face, the very same face that had looked at you with a smile fading to confusion this evening. He had gotten so close to asking you â to telling you how he felt â and he flips to the next picture, a scowl on his face as a picture of him and Suguru with his smug smile stared back at him. If only fucking Suguru hadnât interrupted.Â
He shook his head, flipping back to his picture of you. This wasnât the summer and he wasnât a kid anymore. And you werenât out of his reach, bound for another country across the ocean. No, you were here â only a short drive away.Â
And he made a promise to himself â he would get you to fall in love with him, before the end of this summer.Â
~~~
You hate first days.Â
âDid you see the guy waiting outside?â one woman whispered not so softly as you passed by.Â
âYeah looks like heâs waiting for her,â the otherâs lips formed a frown but only to hide her smirk.Â
From the time you were a kid, your first day of school was something you had all the time from your family moving around. You were always the new kid â the one who would be met with wide eyes and curiosity, only to be tossed aside a few days later.Â
But this was a fresh start that you had wanted â a new job far away from where you had started, with new responsibilities â a first day you had looked forward to, until it went so downhill.Â
And it was all your exâs fault.Â
You texted Suguru â is it too early to quit on the first day?Â
He replies, well itâs been four hours, think youâve lasted through one of my dadâs long winded stories longer than that. What happened?Â
You glanced outside towards the front of the building. It was more like âwho happened?âÂ
It was an innocuous enough morning, of introductions, trainings, orientation, and finally computer set up. You were rifling through your paperwork, trying to figure out what sheet looked the least daunting when someone called for you.Â
âThereâs someone looking for you outside the lobby,â you saw a flurry of looks shared and smirks shot in your direction, and when you arrived downstairs you knew why.Â
What. The. Fuck.Â
You couldnât help it. You bursted outside, âwhat are you doing here?â It was your ex â the very same ex who had started at the same overseas company after you both graduated and the one you had. And again, had chosen to follow you here.Â
âWaiting for you to change yer mind,â Naoya tilts his head, hands in his pocket, âand I know you will, because you love me,â he raises his voice to catch the eye of several passerby, and you grab his wrist, dragging him away.Â
âFuck off,â you hiss under your breath, âI told you itâs over, and donât you have a fucking job?âÂ
âDid you forget? Iâm rich, another reason ya canât do better than me,â Naoyaâs lips curl into that same grin, one you knew as charming once, until you saw past his pretty pink lips and glimpsed the sharp fangs behind them, âI took time off. Did ya think it was a coincidence we ended up at the same company?âÂ
You gritted your teeth, âNaoyaââ and he breaks from your grip, instead his fingers dig into your wrist.Â
âAll ya are is me. All that you have is me. And all you will have is me,â he dared closer, breath warming your lips, as he took hold of your other wrist and tugged you close, âthe sooner you accept that, the better, doll,âÂ
âDoll.â The term of endearment you had seen as precious to you. Something you always loved to hear roll off his tongue, the word you had learned to learned to reply to, even more than your own name. The one you regarded with such love had burned, burned until the flames licked your skin and knew what it really meant â a doll with strings, one he was meant to be the master of.Â
âDonât call me that,â you rip your hands away, âleave. Youâre embarrassing yourself,âÂ
âAm I?â He tilts his head, jerking his head in the direction of your building where your offices had a clear view of this, âor am I just embarrassing you?âÂ
You stared out the window for a moment and you knew he was still out there â judging but the way your phone was on the verge of suicide by notification, he was still very much there. And now, all people would know of you is the new worker with a crazy stalker ex.Â
Iâm calling the police, Suguruâs text popped up, whatâs your workplaceâs address?Â
You think I hadnât thought of that, Sugu? You sigh, heâs not doing anything. Heâs on a public sidewalk. They canât do anything to him.Â
Another text: when do you get out? You glance at the time, seeing another two coworkers whisper to each other, stealing looks.Â
An eternity â In another two hours.Â
Iâll handle it. Just wait in the lobby after work. And you frown.Â
Sugu, I can handle it. I donât need you to come down here.Â
You always fought your battles. You didnât need anything else to â or anyone else to pick them for you. Not even your baby cousin â no matter how sweet his intentions were.Â
Donât worry. Iâm not coming down. And you frown, staring at the text, before your phone rings, and you groan as âAssistant Directorâ flashes on the screen. Â
You were so fired.Â
You werenât â as you shut the door of his office behind you. However, he did advise you that this company had a strict no nonsense policy and did want personal drama to be dredged up in the office. And you were given the day to sort out your âmess.âÂ
You scrub a hand down your face, but it wasnât even your mess, and how would you fix it? He wasnât going to listen to you. You sit at your desk, packing up your bag for the day. And your phone vibrates.Â
Come down.Â
You hesitate, But heâs still downstairs.Â
Just go.Â
Fuck. You sling your bag over your shoulder, piercing eyes digging into your back, vultures circling an already dead carcass, whispering still even as the elevators doors shut.Â
And you almost wish they never opened when you see whatâs waiting for you outside.Â
Fuck.Â
You grit your teeth, stomach in absolute knots as if to brace yourself for the complete shitstorm youâre about to deal with.Â
âSatoru?âÂ
Satoru Gojo leaned back against his expensive (likely imported) car, shiny as it was new, sunglasses glinting in the light, but not brighter than the grin he gives you. He holds out your favorite drink, a tilt of his head.Â
âAre you ready to go?âÂ
You glance around, as he places the drink in your hand, âBut what aboutââ
âLet go of me!âÂ
Satoruâs lips curl, sliding his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose, âOh, Iâve gotten him handled,âÂ
Naoya stood between two men restraining him, both in suits, as his face contorted in anger, veins bulging, eyes darting between the two of you, âDo you know who I am? Iâm the heir to the Zenin Corporation â you cannot treat me like this. Iâll have youââÂ
âHeir? Really?â Satoru stepped forward, blocking him from your view, âis that right? I thought the Zenin hadnât decided announced a successor yet,âÂ
You furrow your brow â how does Satoruâ but then youâre being put into a car with Satoruâs arm curled around your waist, as he opens the door and tucks you into the passenger seat.Â
And now you wonât know. At least not now.Â
Naoya scoffed, âAnd who are you to know anything aboutââÂ
âHave you heard of the Six Eyes Corp,â and Naoyaâs eyes narrow, âyou should have because we account for a large chunk of your business. And if that support were to disappear,â he flashes his blue eyes at him over the rim of his sunglasses, âIâd hate to tell them itâs because of this,âÂ
âYou fucking liar, like you could tell anyone anythingââÂ
Satoru chuckles, âYouâre right, I am a liar,â he runs his fingers through his hair, âI donât need to tell anyone. Except my father,âÂ
Naoyaâs sneer fades into confusion, his eyes narrowed, âDonât fucking tell meââÂ
âThen I wonât,â he steps forward, hands slipping into his pockets, âbut if you ever step in her presence again,â he jerks his head towards you in his car, âthen I will, and you donât wanna know what happens if I do,â he steps in front of Naoya, back blocking your view so you donât see him grab Naoyaâs wrist, blue eyes aflame with something far deeper than anger, âbecause it will much worse,â he squeezes Naoyaâs wrist hard making him flinch as he grits his teeth at Satoruâs smiling face, âwho knows? Maybe Iâll break your wrist next time.âÂ
He turns around, waving off the guards, as he makes his way back to his car, sliding into the driverâs seat, smile fading to concern.Â
âAre you alright, Princess?â Youâre watching those people drag Naoya away, his hateful gaze trying and failing to get a last look at you as the guard takes a hand to the back of his head to force his gaze forward.Â
âWhere are they taking him?âÂ
Satoru starts the car, the quiet rumble of the engine filling the silence of his pause, âjust to the proper authorities. He wonât bother you again,âÂ
You bit your bottom lip, eyes burning with tears â and you donât know whether if itâs embarrassment or relief, âIâm sorryââÂ
âDonât finish that sentence,â and your eyes slide to his, a soft smile on his lips, âyou donât have anything to be sorry about. Or to thank me for,â he cuts you off as your lips part, âis your wrist okay?âÂ
You glance down and see the slight redness still lingered, a final parting gift, and your other hand closes over the wrist, âit hurts a little, but Iâll ice it when I get home,âÂ
âWeâll go to a hospital to have it looked at,â and youâre shaking your head.Â
âI donât want to sitââÂ
âThen Iâll hire a doctor to come see you,â and you stare at him, as he rolls to a stop at a red lightâŠis that a pout? âI just want you to be ok, Princess, please,âÂ
You bite back a small smile, and ignore the flutter in your heart, âFine, you win, letâs go to a walk-in clinic,â and you spot his shoulders relax, âbut itâs not really fair when you give me your infamous pout,âÂ
He raises an eyebrow, ââInfamous?ââÂ
âYou used to whip that out all the time on me and on my aunt when you were a kid â it did always work,âÂ
âNot always,â he replies, as he turns into the parking for the walk-in clinic, âin fact, I remember a time that it specifically did not work,âÂ
âAnd when was that?â You tilt your head.Â
And he smiles, âWhen I asked you to be my girlfriend,â and you furrow your brow, nearly forgetting the memory, until it hits you.Â
âOh my god, the last summer I spent here,â you covered your mouth with the tips of your fingers, a chuckle on your lips, âyou were very direct,âÂ
âI could say the same about you,â and you roll your eyes.Â
âYou were a kid. You were way too young for me, you know that,â you unbuckle your seatbelt, âplus now I bet you could get any person you want. Thatâs why I was surprised why you didnât have a girlfriend,â
âLike I said, thereâs only one woman in the world for me,â his eyes find yours, cerulean bathed in sunlight, light catching across his irises, âand only one woman I ever wanted to be with,â
Oh.Â
Oh.Â
No, no, that couldnât be it â you couldnât be her, not after all this timeâ
You blink, âSatoru, you donâtââÂ
âWell our age difference isnât a problem anymore is it?â Your brain is struggling to process, lips parting with no words, âPrincess,â his fingers brush yours, gently grazing your hand, as your gaze finds his again, âwhen are you going to take me seriously?âÂ
âSatoruââÂ
âJust donât say no,â Satoru cuts you off, pulling his hand away, âdonât say no and think about it,â you open your mouth only to waver at the sight of the pout on his lips and you sigh.Â
It was hard to say no, especially right now.Â
âOkay I wonât say no,â you slip from the car, lips breaking into a wide grin, before sticking your head inside, âdonât smile like that. Itâs not a yes,â you huff, cheeks burning and stomach erupting in butterflies.Â
âNot yet,â Satoru says as you shut the door, ânot yet, Princess.âÂ
~~~
âHuh? You did what?âÂ
You loved your aunt. You really did. She and her husband had taken you in when your parents were too busy working to properly take care of you during the summers. But times like this reminded youâ
â-she truly was her motherâs sister.Â
âWell your mother was telling me that you havenât dated anyone since youâve been backââÂ
âIt's only been a month!â You had barely finished getting unpacked, and in fact, you still had at least five boxes still stacked up in the closet, âIâm not interested in dating, Iâm trying to focus on work,â you rubbed the back of your head, ânew topic, please,â as you sip on your drink.Â
And after the debacle Naoya had caused, you needed to â you had put up with the whispers and stares for a few days, but since Naoya had stayed away, the rumors faded with time. Now things had died down for the most part. Except forâ
âHas Satoru still been picking you up?â You nearly do a spit take, but instead you choke down the water, coughing, âeh? Are you okay, honey?âÂ
âIâm fine, Iâm fine,â your cheeks burn at the thought of Satoru â he was always a bold kid, but you didnât think heâd confess to being in love with you all this time. Especially now as a man â and not a kid, âyeah heâs still picking me up,âÂ
When he had confessed to you all those years ago as a young teenager, you had thought nothing of it. Except that it was a crush on his best friendâs older cousin â something that would pass easily with time. You hadnât even thought of it in all these years.Â
But now, you couldnât stop thinking about him.Â
Especially when he kept showing up to pick you up from work. And now you were stirring other sorts of rumors.Â
After he had taken you to the walk-in clinic, he had driven you home, making sure to check if your place was secure enough, and that you werenât too shaken up.Â
âAre you sure you donât want me to drop you off to Suguruâs?â he had asked, crossing his arms, âI could also drag his ass here, he owes me anyway,âÂ
âNo, no Iâm really fine,â you chewed your lip, looking down, âyou sure heâs not going to come back?â and he leans down, forcing you to meet his gaze, as he tilts his head.Â
âSweetheart, you think Iâd even leave your place if I thought there was a chance of him coming back?â he offers you a smile, and you scoff softly, shaking your head, âtrust me, he wonât be bothering you again, not while Iâm around,â and he added, âand Iâm not going anywhere.âÂ
And you didnât know what to do with the promise in his words. Because you knew he meant that â in more than one way.Â
But even so, he hadnât brought up his confession â not once.Â
âHeâs so sweet isnât he? Suguru is always so busy but Satoruâs making time to pick you instead,â your aunt gushes, and you shake your head, your aunt did have a habit of being a little hard on her son, âby the way, would you mind stopping by the house today?âÂ
âWhyâs that?âÂ
And well, how did you end up here?Â
You stood in front of the entrance to a very expensive looking building with a very intimidating doorman, with a large tote bag full of food that your aunt had insisted you drop off. She had given you his address, but by the time you arrived, you realized that you didnât even have his number. And now Suguru or your aunt werenât picking up their phones.Â
Fuck.Â
You were internally debating whether to talk to the doorman or to just go home and deal with this another time, when you heard someone speak behind you.Â
âLooking for someone?â You jump slightly, whirling when you see Satoru, hands in his pockets, a smile on his lips, as he lifts his sunglasses to meet your gaze, âdidnât think Iâd find you hanging outside my apartment building, princess,âÂ
âWell, you show up outside my workplace and Iâll be showing up outside your apartment building,â the words leave your mouth without much thought, as your cheeks burn at the implication, âI meanââÂ
âIs that supposed to discourage me from picking you up?â he grins, âDoesnât sound like a bad deal to me,âÂ
You roll your eyes, before holding up the bag, âMy aunt asked me to drop off some dishes for you. Sheâs worried youâre eating too many sweets,âÂ
He takes the bag from your hand, fingers brushing, as he shakes his head, âI shouldnât have ever told her that I had cake for dinner,â and you snort, unable to hide your giggles, âwhatâs so funny?âÂ
âI can see a lot about you has changed, but your sweet tooth is just as bad as when you were a kid,â and you see him scratch the back of his head, âis your favorite dessert still mochi?âÂ
âYou still remember that about me?â A smile pulling at his lips, and your cheeks burn, but you refuse to waver.Â
âWell, itâs hard to forget you threw up all over the rug when you ate too many,â You bite back a smile when you spot the tips of his ears burn red, as he gapes at you.Â
âDid you have to bring that up?â He mutters, a small pout on his lips, and you snort, as he canât help the curl of his lips, ânow, câmon,â his fingers brush the small of your back.Â
âSatoru, whereââ but his hand is firm as he guides you towards his building.Â
He flashes you a grin as he signs you in with the doorman, âDo you think Iâd let you come all this way without staying for dinner?âÂ
~~~
âDo you want anything to drink?â Satoruâs penthouse was nothing less than immaculate â high ceilings, pristine floors, and an interior designed living space. You swore in some places it was still shiny â and you felt very out of place in your casual wear for the weekend.Â
âJust a water,â you reply, as he opens his refrigerator and you raise an eyebrow at the fully stocked compartments, âwow,â you murmur, and heâs pulling a water and a fancy looking juice out of it.Â
âWhat was that?â He raises a brow, and you stammer a moment, âcâmon princess, share with the class,âÂ
âJust surprised your refrigerator isnât just stuffed with just desserts, sweets, and ice cream,â and he hands you your water, before sitting beside you, spread out on the couch, as he always was.Â
âOh it is, itâs just very well hidden,â and you snort, as he throws his arm over the back of the couch, âI may be an adult but Iâm not going to be a boring old geezer like my father,âÂ
âI donât think I could ever see you becoming boring, Satoru,â you chuckle, and he tilts his head.Â
âIs that a rare compliment from you, princess?â And his grin only makes your cheeks warm, as you roll your eyes.
âMore like an observation,â you reply, as your phone vibrates in your pocket, and you pull it out to check â who would be messaging you now?Â
Oh fuck.Â
âYou ok there?âÂ
No, no you werenât. Because your lovely aunt had given your number to a prospective match, and now he was texting you. A lot.Â
âItâs nothing,â you sigh, shaking your head, putting your phone on âdo not disturb.â You would have dinner first, and then youâd murder your aunt after dessert, âdo you want me to help take out dinner?âÂ
âYou expect me to believe you donât hire a chef to make these sides?â The food was spread out across the table, many of the dishes your aunt had made plated and presented, but along with sides that Satoru had made, âSuguru had made it seem as if the only thing you ever made was microwave ramen,âÂ
âWell jokes on him, I burned it the one time I tried,â he grinned, âbut I did learn to cook, I just never bothered to cook for Suguru,âÂ
âAnd whyâs that?â You take a bite of the pickled radish he had prepared.Â
âBecause Iâm not trying to impress him, am I?â And you nearly choke slightly, as you manage to swallow, âyou should know Iâm so much more than a pretty face, Princess,âÂ
You sigh, âSatoruââ
âHave you thought about what I said at all?âÂ
And you had. A lot more than you cared to admit. Especially after all he had done. Everything he had to Naoya to defend you. And just about him â how sweet heâs been, how protective, how kind, and how youâd like nothing more than to do the same for himâ
ButâŠ
âI have, but Satoru, our agesââÂ
âWeâre both adults. We both graduated. We havenât seen each other in over a decade,â his leg brushes yours as he shifts closer, âare you telling me you donât feel anything?âÂ
You didnât know how to answer that â not when you didnât really know yourself. And you always knew the answer â you knew you wanted to study abroad, you knew you had to leave Naoyaâs company, and you knew you wanted to live here â so why was this the one time you didnât? And why was he the one thing you were unsure of?Â
You bite your bottom lip, âBut, Suguruââ and he scoffs softly.Â
âAre you really thinking about Suguru right now?â he asks, âor would you rather date the guy blowing up your phone earlier?âÂ
Your eyebrows knit together, âHow did you knowââÂ
âWell I know itâs not Naoya, and I heard from Suguru that your aunt wanted to set you up,â fucking Suguruâand your lips twist into a pout, he tilts his head, not bothering to hide his smile, âif you dated me, you could get your aunt off your back,â he muses, leaning against his elbow, âshe always did say I was family, and Iâm not looking to be your brother,âÂ
Your cheeks burn at his words, âSatoru,â
âThink about it, Princess, you donât have to give me an answer now,â but his eyes flicker to your phone, âbut I know youâll find me once you meet any one of these guys your aunt sets you up with,âÂ
You grimace at your phone, picking it up to see the messages from the guy your aunt had given your number to, âfuck,â you murmur, locking your phone before tossing it away, an image of you trapped at a dinner across the most boring man alive. And then you glance up at Satoru, still a smug smile on his lips, and then back to your phone.Â
âWhatâs your plan?âÂ
~~~
âSo, I heard you turned down the boy I gave your number to,âÂ
Your aunt hardly pulled punches.Â
She never did when you and Suguru were growing up â she always knew what the two of you got up to, even if you were both sure she could never find out â she always did. Even the one time that the two of you had snuck out to get ramen on a late night, Suguruâs parents were in a dead sleep â but by the time you both snuck back in, she was waiting for both of you in the hallway. But this time, she wasnât even leading with a wind-up before swinging.Â
And then she adds, eyes narrowing, âHe said you declined because youâre dating someone,âÂ
She was going for the kill.Â
She turns to grab the whistling tea kettle, turning it off, before pouring the hot water into two cups. You force yourself not to bite your bottom lip, the smallest tell was dangerous, even with her back turned, âIs there anything he didnât tell you?â Sheâs placing the tea cups one by one on the tray, as if laying out her pieces on a board only to corner you.Â
Your aunt frowns, âHis mother told me,â great, even better â he was a mommaâs boy, and now you were starting to wonder just how many bullets did you dodge, âare you seeing someone?âÂ
You were beginning to regret this plan â and you donât know why you let Satoru talk you into it.Â
âYou want me to do what?â You stared at Satoru as if he had suggested going diving with sharks, which is not far from what he was suggesting, âtell my aunt that weâre together. No way,âÂ
âAw, am I that embarrassing to date, Princess?â And you roll your eyes.Â
âYes, for me,â and heâs tilting his head, âmy aunt will immediately tell my uncle and Suguru â and I donât know which one of them would kill you first,â your uncle wasnât one for words or conflict, but he had a soft spot for you â and a fist for anyone that tried to come date you without his approval.Â
âEh? Doesnât Uncle like me?â And you snort, the one sided conversations that Satoru had with your uncle that usually ended with your uncle excusing himself to get away from that âannoying moron.âÂ
âHe doesnât hate you but,â you choose your words carefully, âhe doesnât prefer you,âÂ
Satoru scoffs, crossing his arms, âWell Auntie loves me, and I had a plan for this,â and she did, she had quite the soft spot for Satoru, ever since he was a kid. You couldnât exactly blame her â he looked like an angel, even if the words that left his mouth made it seem like the contrary, his fingers brushing against a strand of your hair, âand soon Iâll make you love me too,âÂ
Fucking cocky bastard, you thought to yourself, cheeks burning at the thought of the smirk on his lips, but youâre jarred back to reality as you hear the clattering of cups and spoons. Â
âI am,â you reply, and your auntâs head whips around, the clinking of the glasses cutting through the pause, âitâs new,â you add, as she sets down the tea cups, placing the tea dispensers in each one, âI wasnât sure if I should say anything,âÂ
âWhy wouldnât you? This is wonderful,â she blinked, and her brow wrinkles, âunless itâs that Naoyaââ you flinch at the thought of him.Â
âNo, Iâm done with him,â you wave her off quickly, wrinkling your nose at the thought of that bastard, grabbing the tea cup, the scent of green tea wafting from the steam that warmed your face, as you blew air to cool it off, âitâs someone I reconnected with here,âÂ
Your aunt raises an eyebrow, âSo soon? Is it someone from work?â Again, is the word she implies with the sentence, a sharp tone that nicked your armor.Â
âNo, it isnât,â and sheâs sipping her tea, and you take a sip only to burn your tongue, âbut he is younger,âÂ
âThatâs not a problem if heâs not too much younger â how old is he?â and this was exactly why you hadnât wanted to tell your aunt, it was more of an interrogation than a conversation.Â
âHeâs about Suguruâs age,â and sheâs tilting her head, âSuguru introduced us,â and that wasnât a lie â it was true â both in the past and now.Â
âReally? And Sugu is okay with you dating his friend?â Your aunt may be gossip and a meddler, but she wasnât a fool, your hesitation is your end, âand I assume youâre telling me all this to get me off your case and to ask not to tell Suguru,â she sighs.Â
âAuntieââÂ
âYou know I donât like lying for either of youââÂ
âButââÂ
âNo, I canâtââÂ
âHow about lying for me?â Satoru stands in the doorway, head tilted, a smile on his lips. And your aunt blinks before she slowly puts the puzzle pieces together, a mix of emotions crossing her expression â confusion, disbelief, and maybe a hint of joy, before she settled on a neutralÂ
âSatoruââÂ
He frowns, âAuntie, you know Suguru will kill me for dating his cousin, please,â and then he does what he does best â pouting.Â
And your aunt breaks â with a one hit-KO.Â
âYou must have been blessed by some needlessly annoying god,â you murmur as he walks you back to your place, sun gleaming as it gave off its last rays of light before setting for the night, âbecause I donât know how you still get her to fall for that,âÂ
âI was born blessed,â and you snort, as you catch sight of his smile out of the corner of your eye, âand speaking of which, whenâs our first date?âÂ
âStraight to the point, huh?â You stop walking, hands in your pockets, âSatoruââÂ
âDonât tell me youâre about to launch into another speech about how you canât date me,â he gives an exaggerated sigh, âI could go back to your aunt and tell her how you broke my heart and let her pull out list of aunties who have sons who are excited to meet youââÂ
âAlright, fine, a date, but one thing first,â you step close to him, making his breath catch, pretty blues finding your gaze, the very same he would love to get lost in, before they flicker down to your lips. And he swears you can probably hear his heart beating out of his chest, thumping at the bony bars of his ribcage, and he hates it, hates how you have him twisted around your finger without trying, âPrincessââÂ
You reach for him, fingers nearly about to brush his cheek, his eyes fluttering, before you flick his forehead, âow!âÂ
âI was just going to ask when our first date is going to be, but if you rather I go on a bunch of blind datesââ and heâs shaking his head, rubbing his forehead all the same, âthen do you have any ideas?âÂ
He grins, âPlenty, but thereâs one in particular.âÂ
~~~~
âAn amusement park?âÂ
He sat next to you, driving, hand on the console and you couldnât help but brush your arm against his each time you moved â and you felt as if he did it on purpose.Â
He raises an eyebrow, stealing a glance out of the corner of his eye, âUh-huh, got a problem, Princess?âÂ
âNo Iâm just surprised, we went to plenty of these as kids,â you glanced at him, his eyes concentrated on the road, fingers curling a little tighter around the steering wheel.Â
You had raised an eyebrow at his choice, but now that you were hereâŠit wasnât a bad pick.Â
You hadnât been to one in years â not since your summers with Suguru. The screams in the distance told you there was a rollercoaster not far off, the syrupy sweetness of sugar somehow emanated from every inch of air, and the park was filled to the brim with families and couples.Â
You glance at Satoru, a plain t-shirt and shorts, and somehow he still looked as if he stepped off a page of a menâs style magazine. He looked around, his eyes landing on a vendor selling cotton candy, and you hid your chuckle.Â
âCâmon,â you took his hand, leading him over without a second thought, and youâre grabbing a giant cotton candy for him, made into a flower by the vendor. Satoruâs practically vibrating with excitement, slinking his hand around to sneak the vendor money before you even had a chance, âI wanted to payââÂ
âYou think Iâd make my date pay?â He takes a bite out of his cotton candy, sugar sticking to his lips even as he nearly inhales a petal, âeven the arranged set ups should do that much,â but itâs hard to take him seriously with blue sugar all over his mouth, âwhat?âÂ
You snort, grabbing a wet nap from your purse,âWell, youâd be surprised,â and you wipe his face, fingers cupping his chin, âsome guys are a little immature,â and he stares back, and you swear you see a flush settle over his cheeks, before he turns away to wipe his lips.Â
âNot me,â he mumbles, tips of his ears burning red, and you bite your bottom lip, cute.Â
âShould we find a ride to go on?â he immediately grins at that, offering his arm this time, and you take it, a smile tugging at your lips.Â
Maybe this wasnât so bad after all.Â
~~~
Oh you were wrong.Â
So wrong.Â
âI changed my mind, I donât want to get on,â and before you can leave a hand catches you by the wrist gently, blue eyes judging over his rimless sunglasses, âSatoruââÂ
âItâs just a rollercoaster,â just a rollercoaster? No, it was literally your death. You stared up at the contraption above you, the echoing screams growing louder as the line crept forward â akin to a rickety boat that Charon would wade you across into hell itself.Â
âNo, I canâtââ you shake your head.Â
âCâmon it wonât be that badââÂ
âSo you admit itâs going to be bad,â and heâs biting back a smile, âwhat?âÂ
âI just never really saw you being scared of anything, Princess,â he sighed loudly, âI guess Iâll have to ride it all alone,â but that only serves to make many women (and men) stare at him as if to offer him their company.Â
âYou have options,â and he shakes his head, his hand outstretched as the two of you enter the final stretch of the line.Â
âLike I said, sweetheart, thereâs only ever been one option for me,â and your fingers graze his with several second thoughts, but when his fingers laced with yours, you knew there was no turning back.Â
âI didnât know you could scream that loud,âÂ
You grinned at a shaken up Satoru, throat probably raw and aching as he frowns, face turned away, âIâm not used to the speed, unlike you, from how I heard you drive,â and you bite back a laugh, as he fails to hide his flush from you, his ears burning red.Â
Your chuckle is a badly disguised cough, âAre you pretending to be this way to make me feel better?â You tease, and heâs crossing his arms.Â
âNo way Iâd let myself look so lame in front of you, Iâm no better than Ijichi,â and you raise an eyebrow. Ijichi was a boy in Suguru and Satoruâs class when they were kids â one that Satoru loved to complain about being slow.Â
âYou still think about him?â
âHeâs my assistant,â and you snort at the thought of Satoru still hassling that poor guy.Â
âI hope you pay him well,â heâs officially pouting again.
âI didnât know it would be that intense!â you tilt your head, as the two of you find a corner of the park thatâs not so crowded and riddled with children running amok, and you watch him down a sugary soda drink he had bought from one of the food stalls.Â
âYou act as if youâve never been to an amusement park,â heâs quiet for a second too long, and your eyebrows knit together, âbut SuguruââÂ
âYou guys would go every summer, but it was when I had my prep classes on the weekends,â he runs his fingers through his white locks, âI would have skipped when I was older, but by the time I had stopped caring what my father thought of me, you had already gone to college and Suguruâs family stopped going,âÂ
You frown â you knew Satoru didnât have the best upbringing â yes he had every opportunity at his fingertips, all the money in the world that you couldnât even fathom, but you could count the number of times heâs mentioned his parents on one hand.Â
âI was always so jealous when you guys would go,â he sighed, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips, âit seems silly nowââÂ
âNo, itâs not,â you cut him off, shaking your head, âyou should have been allowed to be a kid,âÂ
He chuckles, a noise that sticks in your chest, âWell, more than anything, I wanted to go with you,â his cerulean eyes find yours, a soft smile on his lips, âthank you for indulging me, princess,âÂ
âWell, youâre the one doing me a favor, right?â you tease, getting to your feet, âcâmon we have plenty of other things to do â I saw a booth with candy apples not too far over thereââ you point, and his fingers are already finding yours as he nearly drags you along, a laugh caught in your throat as you canât help but smile at his excitement.Â
Itâs infectious, you thought as the two of you got in line, Satoru nearly vibrating with need for his sugar fix, and you shook your head, biting back a laugh, just like him.Â
~~~
âYou donât have to walk me home,â the sun had long sunk by the time you both had left, staying to catch a glimpse of the fireworks before heading back, âitâs not that far from here,âÂ
The two of you had opted to take public transport to the amusement park, knowing there would be next to nowhere to park or rather only the middle of nowhere to park. The cicadas were already beginning their symphony, filling the relative silence of the neighborhood now, except for the chatter heard from inside houses or outside in gardens.Â
âWho would carry your loot home?â and he tilts the giant plushie to show his unimpressed face, âyou barely wanted to carry this at the park, even after you begged me to win it, and I did, in one shot,âÂ
And he did, he had won you a giant polar bear plushie nearly as tall as you were in his hands, along with several bags of sweets he had bought on the way out, just to snack on tonight (and you seriously wondered if he ate anything that was not coated in mochi, chocolate, or sugar).Â
âI donât remember begging you â I asked you,â you cross your arms, and you know heâs smiling behind the bear, using the plushie to hide his goddamn smirk, âi did! I just asked if we could try to win itââÂ
âAnd I remember the phrases âpleaseâ and âi need itâ being involved in the conversation,â you felt your cheeks burn, âyou still like these things, huh?âÂ
âWhat do you mean?â and he moves the polar bear under one arm, the bags in the other so you could actually see his face.Â
âYou always loved plushies, you had that one from your parents that you kept in your room with you all the timeââÂ
âPanda, I was very original with that name,â you shake your head, before your gaze turns to him, his sunglasses gleaming on his head in the low light of the streetlamps, âI canât believe you remembered that,âÂ
âThereâs barely a thing Iâd forget when it comes to you,â and you bite your lip, heart squeezing at his words, âyou look like you wanna say something, princess?âÂ
You reached the outside of your apartment building just as night fell, humidity still clinging to the thick summer air. The light of the lobby spilling out into the sidewalk through the glass doors, just as the streets grew quieter.Â
And you do â youâre not sure if you should ask it â a question posed on a precipice of uncertainty that you didnât know if you wanted to step off of. But you know you had to, at one point or another.Â
You could just go inside, brush off his question, and leave the day at that. But a nagging question had wriggled itâs way to the forefront of your mind, and you knew it wouldnât leave your mind until it left your tongue.Â
You chew on your lip, âYou say these things so easily when it comes to me, but how are you so sure?âÂ
And he shrugs, his eyes not leaving yours for even a second, âI just know,âÂ
âBut how?â Heâs shaking his head, stepping forward, until heâs a breath away, your eyes flickering from his gaze to his lips for a split second, your own air caught in your traitorous throat.Â
âInstead of wondering why I feel why I do, I think you should wonder why youâre so unsure,â and his fingers graze your cheek, tilting your chin upwards, his touch sending heat to the far reaches of your body, and heâs leaning forward. Your eyes nearly flutter shut, as his words nearly warm your lips, but no, instead they brush against your ear, âbecause if I was still just that kid to you that I was all those years ago, then why arenât you pulling away?âÂ
Your eyes blink open, as he pulls away, grin on his lips, as he hands you your polar bear plushie, âSatoruââ and you donât even know what you want to say â you want to argue, you want to say something, anything, but nothing comes out but his name.Â
âYou shouldnât let a guy get that close, Princess, especially not twice,â he sighs, lips still curled, âbecause if you let me that close again, I wonât be leaving without a kiss,âÂ
And you could only stare after him as he left â fingers touching your ear he had whispered against, lips pursing, as you huff, cheeks burning as you step inside your building, burying your face in white fluff of the polar bear that looked a little too much like someoneâs hair.Â
âIdiot.âÂ
~~~~
Youâre avoiding me.Â
Satoru wasnât wrong. You were â but not exactly on purpose. Or at least you didnât think so. It had been the third time you had turned him down in the last week. Although, todayâs wasnât intentionally so. You stewed in a corner of the bar, eyes glancing at your phone â what was really an appropriate time to leave a work-sanctioned event without looking completely anti-social?Â
It was never really fun coming to these events alone â but you knew if Satoru was here, youâd actually have a good time. You were almost surprised he hadnât shown up at your place or your work to see you â all he had done is text you. And why did that almost disappoint you?
You checked the time again, met with the notification of Satoruâs message again before you swiped it away out of sight. But he wasnât out of mind. He hadnât been for days. You rubbed at your temples â you hadnât gotten a good nightâs sleep since your day at the amusement park, thoughts spinning in circles and it was all his fault. You had done everything to get him out of your head â minimize contact, not see him, even drag yourself to an event like this â but still, you stared at your phone screen again, the ghost of his words still warming your ear.Â
You couldnât stop thinking about him.Â
Fuck. What were you doing? You took a long swig of your drink, hoping the alcohol could erase some of that night out of your mind. The last thing you needed to be thinking about was Satoru Gojo.Â
âSo whoâs the guy who has been picking you up after work?âÂ
You nearly choked on your drink. Really? You downed your drink, hoping you can ignore the question if you take long enough downing the searing concoction that the bartender had handed you, maybe they would let you off the hook. But as you finish the drink, you only find your coworkers staring back at you still. The hush that fell over this group of women was far too reverent for a conversation about a man.Â
âHeâs my little cousinâs best friend,â you reply, ordering another drink â you were going to need it, and the women exchange glances, fake smiles plastered on their lips.Â
âHeâs not your boyfriend?â and a strange twinge settles in your chest at the question, poking and prodding your tongue to say no, no he wasnât, but you almost didnât want to.Â
âNo, he isnât,â and the women grin amongst each other, âif you would excuse meââÂ
âWait, wait, we just started talking, come on now,â you sigh internally, as they order another round of drinks as they corral you to their table, maybe after this you could finally leave.Â
~~~
âWhatâs got you so down?â Suguru slides into a seat across from Satoru â Satoru who couldnât stop checking his phone to see if you had replied.Â
âWhat do you mean?â he sighs, he shouldnât have sent that text earlier. He shouldnât push so much, heâs already pushed enough with his comment. God, why the fuck did he say that? What if you thought he was a creepâwhat if you thought he was disgusting? What ifâÂ
âYou look pathetic,â Suguru sips his coffee in his hand, scrolling through his phone, âwho is it?âÂ
Satoru sits up, locking his phone, tucking it away as if it would incriminate him â flashing your name across the screen like it was plastered over his mind, âwhat do you mean?âÂ
âIâve never seen you like this, you keep checking your phone â you barely can keep track of it most of the time,â he shrugs his shoulders, âI figured you must have grew a dick and started liking someone,âÂ
âLook whoâs talking â whenâs the last time you dated someone again?â And Satoru catches the crumpled up paper Suguru tosses, âdonât get on your high horse if you donât want the same thing back,âÂ
âAt least Iâm not waiting like a lovesick puppy over my phone,â Suguru mutters, taking another sip of his drink, and thatâs when a phone ringing cuts through the silence â that was your ringtone, the very one he set to know when youâd call â just so he wouldnât miss it, âlooks like your waiting by the door paid off,âÂ
âFuck off,â Satoru mumbled, walking off with his phone as he picked up, âhello?âÂ
âSuguru!â Satoruâs brow furrowed at the sound of your cousinâs name leaving your lips, âcan you pick me up plzââ your words were slurred, sounds of chatter cutting through the background.Â
âPrincââ you hiccuped, a small groan leaving your lips.Â
âYou canât tell Satoru, heâll come here and my coworkers wonât stop asking me about him,â you sigh again, mumbling, âwhy does he have to be soâugh, itâs not fair for someone to be that prettyââÂ
Pretty?Â
His cheeks burned, as he covered his mouth with his hand, trying and failing to bite back a stupid smile on his lips â itâs not fair for you to be this cute. He would have preferred âhandsomeâ or âperfectâ or âyour boyfriendâ â but he could settle for pretty.Â
âAnyway!â You cut his thoughts off, âcould you come get me?â And Satoru bit his lip, glancing at Suguru â he could tell Suguru to get you, he could, but the odds of you letting something slip to Suguruâ- âremember you canât tell SatoruââÂ
âwas really high.Â
âDonât worry, Iâll be right there, and I wonât tell him,â he adds, because you already had.Â
~~~
âHow did you find out where I work?â Satoru didnât know after so many years that there were still new things to learn about you still â and one thing he had learned tonight was that â- you pouted at him, stumbling slightly as he came to a stop in front of your building â you were really whiny when drunk.Â
âI picked you up there, remember?â he lightly flicked your forehead that only made you huff, ânow do you have your keys?âÂ
âDo you know how annoying you are?â And he has to bite back a laugh at your scrunched up face.Â
âI do, sweetheart, but Iâd love to hear you tell me,â you scoff, crossing your arms only to immediately uncross to dig through your purse for your keys, tossing out several things that Satoru catches or picks up.Â
âYou come to my work and pick me up, and act all swoon worthy, and perfect, and you look like thatââÂ
âLike what?â he canât hide his smile this time, and your brow furrows as you pull out your keys, lips opening and closing, until you purse them.Â
âLike that,â you grumble as you teeter on your feet again, before he supports you, and he swore he heard you mumble, âso disgustingly handsome,âÂ
And heâs glad your eyes are half closed and focused ahead, otherwise he knew youâd smack him for the grin on his face.Â
âOi, donâtââ and you donât listen, nearly falling over as you unlock your door, whole body weight leaned against it, but his arm slips around you, holding you up from face planting into your floor, âyouâre gonna break your neck, Princess,âÂ
âYou wouldnât let that happen,â You break from his grip and lean up close, your breath warming his lips, your gaze half lidded, ânot when you love me,â and his heart thuds against his ribs, rattling his lungs and bones alike, âthatâs what you said, right?âÂ
You werenât making this easy, not with your fingers now sliding up his chest, toying with the top button of his shirt, âI didââÂ
âSo are you going to prove it?â And the floor feels as if it slips out from underneath him, and all he feels is you, only you â the brush of your fingers against his chest, the faint scent of lavender from your perfume that your aunt had gifted you, and the caress of your gaze against his lips, the same eyes he could easily lose himself in â if he wasnât careful.Â
But he had to be careful â because it was you.Â
âButââ
âBut what?â it would be so easy to kiss you, when you were only half a breath away, lips parted and gaze asking him to do so, to just lean inâbut he canât.
Not like this.Â
His thumb runs down your lips, your eyes fluttering shut, fingers sliding to cup your jaw, and he leans in â feeling your breath catchâ
But he only flicks your forehead, drawing a soft yelp from you.Â
âIâd like you to remember our first kiss,â and heâs corralling you into bed after that, your body keeling over into the soft mattress, as heâs able to wriggle you under the comforter. Your body relaxes into the plush bed, eyes shut, as your muscles loosen and unwind, while Satoru stands over you, the exact opposite â muscles taut and mind whirring.Â
Fuck.
âYou never make it easy, do you, Princess?â he mutters under his breath, swallowing thickly as he scrubs a hand down his face, âgood night,â his fingers ghost over the swell of your cheek, before turning to leaveâ
And your fingers caught him around the wrist, eyes half open as you stared up at him, a pout on your lips but now for an entirely different, but somehow the same reasonâ
âStay,â one word nearly had him crumble right there â and how pathetic was that? Maybe Suguru was right â he was no better than a puppy at your beck and call â waiting by the door for his master to return. And he almost didnât mind â if you always came home to him. Â
âPrincess, you have to go to sleepââ he could easily break from your grip, fingers wrapped loosely around his wrist, but your grasp may have been very well made of iron with how you had pinned him into place â an entomologist pinning their butterfly in their display.Â
âDonât wanna sleep alone,â a slight whine in your voice makes him waver again, but he had a problem with sleeping beside youâ
He shifted in place, adjusting himself, a somewhat big problem thst wouldnât go away â no matter how many times he thought about Gakuganji in his underwear â especially when you were looking at him like that, half dressed in bed with a pout on your lips and want in your gazeâwant that he never thought would be for him.Â
âPlease?â And thatâs all it takes, his thumb rubbing against your fingers â because he could never say no to you.Â
~~~~
âAre you okay?âÂ
Satoru was never left alone â not since he had managed to wander off alone when he was five. It took several hours and a dozen security guards to find him at a bakery, having his third piece of cake. And when he was brought home, he was told just how many ways that could have went wrong â what could have happened to him, and most of all â how badly it could have made his parents look.Â
After that, he couldnât remember a time that his hand wasnât clutched by a caretaker or escort â from school to home to anywhere else he wished to go. But he never wished to go anywhere, not with a stranger at his side.Â
It was only when he met Suguru that he was allowed to go out without someone hovering over his shoulder. But without warning â warning that if any incident would mean he would be stuck back in his daily life. But that meant when he got distracted in the pastry section of the supermarket â looking for the exclusive mochi he desperately wanted â he found himself alone, with you and Suguru nowhere in sight.Â
âSuguru?â Satoru called, head whipping around, chest thudding as the white noise of the market grew louder. His gaze falls, ears ringing with all that could go wrong, back to the life with no one at his side, only strangersâÂ
âToru?â Satoruâs gaze snaps up, your hands on your hips, your head tilted, âyou okay?â And heâs quickly wiping away his tears, sniffling softly, your hand finding the top of his head, âi got you something,â and you hold out a mochi in front of him, and he blinks.Â
âYou found it?â Heâs blinking and your lips curve into a pretty smile.Â
âAnything for you, Satoru,â your fingers run through his hair, âSatoru? SatoruââÂ
His eyes flutter open, finding you leaning over him, your tousled hair in messy tangles, âfinally awake?â And a soft chuckle on your lips as you speak, rubbing your eye, flinching as you rub your temples, âwhat exactly happened last night?âÂ
âYou mean besides you calling me pretty?â And your jaw drops, biting your lip, âand begging me to stay? Didnât know you liked my company that much, Princess,âÂ
You glare at him, âwell with charm like thatââ you mutter, when it occurs to you, âwhy did you sleep on the floor? And with that?â You point to the polar bear plushie he used as a pillow last night.Â
Not his most preferred bedfellow.Â
Always full of surprises, his cheeks burn, and he only can hope it doesnât show on his face, hidden behind a cheeky smile, âDidnât know you were so eager to share a bed with me, sweetheart,â and you roll your eyes, âI have to warn you, I have a tendency to cuddleââ and you smack him with a pillow, he sighs, âsomeone wasnât too keen on sharing her pillows with me, so this was the best I could do,â
You snort, as you take the offending plushie from him, âDid you do something to him?â
He tilts his head, âEh?â And you hold up the polar bear plush, âwhat could I do to him?â Â
âSomeone did threaten to toss him out into the ocean so he could join his family,âÂ
âI can do a lot of things, but I canât solve global warming, Princess,â and you bite back a laugh, âI was on my best behavior with him last night, even though heâs a shitty pillow,â and you didnât have to know how he had slapped him a couple times.Â
But even so, you bite your lip, looking down as you toy with your comforter, âwhy did you come?âÂ
He blinks, âwhat do you mean?âÂ
âYou could have sent Suguru, but you came, and you stayed, on the floor,â and he curls his lips.Â
âWell what kind of fake boyfriend would I be?â And you roll your eyes, still waiting for an answer, and his voice grows soft, âyou know why, Princess,âÂ
âI do, but I donât,â you murmur, fidgeting with your blanket as you chewed on your bottom lip, âmy coworkers couldnât stop talking about you last night, they kept saying how handsome you are, how wonderful, how perfectââÂ
âShould I be less handsome or perfect? Because donât know if thatâs possibleââ and it earns him another whack with the pillow, but he only catches it, âyou say that like itâs a bad thing,âÂ
âItâs not, but I donât know why after all these years, you still want me,â you sigh, words pushing past your lips, âyou could have anyone, Satoru,âÂ
âIf I just wanted anyone, I wouldnât have fell in love with you,â and you bury your face in your pillow, gaze peeking down at him.Â
âYou say that with such ease, how do you know what love even is? I donât know if I know what it is,â you add, mumbling under your breath, and his eyes canât help but follow the way your fingers run through your hair.Â
âI donât think I need to know when I feel it,â Satoru sat up, dangerously close to you, within reach yet so far out of it, âdo you need to know to see the sky is blue? Do you need to know to feel pain when you burn yourself?âÂ
âDidnât know you were taking philosophy classes with Suguru,â and he snorts, shaking his head, âSatoruââÂ
âLike I said before, Princess, just give me some time,â his fingers reach for you, and your breath catches, before he slowly smoothed your hair out, âand Iâll win you over,âÂ
Your eyes flicker to his, and god, he wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss you, but he couldnât. He had to be patient. He couldnât push you â he wanted you to want him just as much. He would make you fall into his arms willingly, and youâd kiss him â not the other way around.Â
âWant some breakfast?â your lips curl into a soft smile, the very same smile that he had fallen for time and time again.Â
âYou offering to cook me breakfast?âÂ
âJust wondering what would shut you up the quickest,â and he has half a mind to reply with âyour lips,â but he decides against it, âpancakes?âÂ
~~~
âI can feel you staring,âÂ
Even with your back turned to the stove, bowl in hand as you whipped the batter with the whisk, hoping your laser focus on the pancakes would help you distract yourself. But it did little when you could feel his gaze sticking in your back, spotlights on every little movement â something that wouldnât have bothered you before â but after last nightâ
This was why you never drank.Â
You covered your face with the back of your hand, cheeks burning, as you placed the bowl down, what had your life become?Â
âCâmon you canât just let a guy like that go,â one of the women from work nudged you â you couldnât remember if her name was Kanae or Kanao â handing you a refill of the drink you had gotten, âhe certainly seems into you from the way he looks at you,âÂ
âIf he isnât, Iâd take him off your hands,â Saki slurred, nearly spilling her drink, âhe seems to like you. Is there really nothing between you two?âÂ
âNot really,â you sipped your drink, if confessing to you after over a decade was nothing, âheâs just a friend,â and he was â a friend who was your fake boyfriend.Â
âYou know with how you started, I thought your love life would be a lot more interesting,â Kanae sighed far too loudly, as she took another long swig of her cocktail.Â
âWell weâve talked a lot about what you guys are but we havenât asked how you feel,â Saki grinned, sloppily drunk yet somehow masterful with her questions, âhow do you feel about him?âÂ
And how did you? If someone asked you a few weeks ago, you would said he was just your little cousinâs best friend, a childhood friend â and you wouldnât have thought twice. But now, he has given you so much to think about. Would you be this hesitant if you two havenât met as kids? If he wasnât Suguruâs best friend? If he didnât seem so far out of your league?Â
Maybe. But you were never good at going for things you wanted â or accepting things as they were. Even with Naoya, you knew you should have broken up with him â you knew he was toxic, and yet you stayed â because it was easier.Â
And maybe it was easier to push Satoru away than to face how you felt.
Fuck, you were too drunk for this â you needed to get out of here, âexcuse me,â you manage to slip away into the bathroom, washing your face, leaning over the sink.Â
You held your forehead, steadying yourself against the cold porcelain, fingers digging into the rim of the sink â eyes burning as your head throbs, a wave of nausea pulsing through your stomach. Fuck, there was no way that you could get home alone.Â
You pulled out your phone and scrolled â who the fuck would you call? The only people you knew were your family andâŠ
Nope. No. Not an option.Â
You found Suguruâs number and tried to text, only to find your eyes blurring, and you knew if you sent a message he would be holding over any typos or fuck ups over your head forever.Â
You found his name, your head spinning as you clicked and called.Â
He didnât pick up.
âFucker,â you mumble, trying to hit his name again, your head spinning, and finally someone picked upâ
And then you woke up in bed. A soft groan fell from your lips, knives prodding at every inch of your brain, memory blended and choppy as you drew into consciousness. You were home, your eyes fluttering open to sunlight illuminating your bedroom, a dull stiffness in your muscles that makes you stretch, turning on your side only to be met with a sight.Â
Satoru Gojo. Asleep on your floor, cuddling the plush polar bear he won for you. You stared, blinking, wondering if blinking away the sleep would somehow blink away Satoru too (it did not unfortunately). So you did the only other thing you could think of â take a picture.Â
As you glanced from the image to him, bits and pieces came back â from your drunken ramblings on the phone to the ones in person, your cheeks burning as you buried your face in your comforter before staring down at him. Was it possible to die of embarrassment? You were really testing those limits.Â
But even so, as you watched him sleep on top of the plushie, the only thing you could wonder was why had he stayed? He could have left after you fell asleep, or even before that, there wasnât much you could have done to stop him. But he stayed, even on the floor, rather than anywhere else.Â
âSo?â you didnât need to turn from the stove to know he was grinning, âcanât I enjoy the show, Princess?âÂ
âIf youâre enjoying it so much, how about you become part of it and help?â you offer him a spatula, as he makes his way over, leaning over you, his body brushing against yours, but you ignore it all the same, eyes focused on the task instead on the warmth blooming from his touch, âIâll spoon and you flip,âÂ
The two of you work in silence, as you spoon batter onto the griddle and he flips the pancakes â and itâs only when youâre both just about done that you glance over, and his lips are curled, âWhat are you smiling about?â and he shakes his head, as he flips the last of the pancakes onto the stack, âSatoruââÂ
âI just never really have made breakfast like this before, or had someone make it for me,â he scratches the back of his head, âmy parents always had chefs or maids or someone make me all my meals, and even when I moved out, I always cooked alone or bought my meals out,â he shrugs, as he turned the stove off, âit reminds me when youâd make me and Suguru instant ramen after we came in from playing outside,âÂ
You snort, âYou remember that?â You would get stuck making ramen for the two of them, tossing some seasoning and sauces into the mixture along with an egg, âI always put too much black pepper. I thought you hated it,âÂ
âBut I always finished,â he added, and he did, even if his cheeks were burning red and eyes watering by the end of the bowl. Your lips curl at the memory of him at the age of twelve downing an entire glass of water and spilling it all over the front of himself.Â
âWell I can make a lot more than instant noodles now,â you have Satoru set the table while you start to clean up, turning on the sink. You hear the clink of plates and utensils behind you, as he sets them down on the table, but you can feel his gaze fall over you even as your back is turned.Â
âIâm going to need some proof â there were a few times you almost burned those noodles,â and you pout, turning with your hands on your hips.Â
âOh you want me to prove it now?â You turn, running your finger discreetly up the side of the used mixing bowl, finger full of batter as you walk up to him, hands behind your back.Â
âAnd howâre you gonna do that, Princess?â the corner of his lip quirks upwards, as you step close up to him, and god, heâs fucking tall â and it kind of pissed you off â all these boys shoot up like fucking weeds, but it didnât mean you couldnât knock him down a bit.Â
âClose your eyes, and find out,â he raises an eyebrow, suspicious, but still he obeys â good boy, the praise runs through your head to the tip of your tongue, but you bite it and the words back alike. And youâre so close, you can see his snow white eyelashes fan out against his cheeks, and heâs so unfairly pretty,Â
For now.Â
Youâre so close, you nearly feel his body warmth radiate your skin â and you swear you hear his breath hitch â and it would be so easy to lean forwardâ âPrincess â whatââÂ
And then he gasps when you smear pancake batter down his cheek, a snort leaving your lips as he gapes at you, mouth ajar. He blinks, his hand reaching for his cheek, before he stops when his eyes flit to your batter caked finger, âYouââÂ
Youâre giggling, trying to stop yourself from doubling over at his expression, âWhat? I just wanted to give you a taste of my cooking before you tried it,â and he frowns at you for a moment, before his lips curl deviously, tilting his head.Â
âIs that right?â and his fingers run through the smeared batter, caking his finger tips before heâs stepping towards you, âthen itâs fair, if I make you taste it tooââ and youâre trying to back up, giggles leaving your lips, but he catches you by the wrist.Â
âSatoruââ you whine as youâre trying to squirm away, âlet go!â but he only pulls you close, your body nearly bumping against his â and it was your turn for your breath to catch, cerulean irises stealing the air from your lungs as you drowned in them, âheyââÂ
âJust how much are you gonna tempt me, Princess?â and you should step away, but his fingers around your wrist send warmth blooming down your arm, straight to your chest, and you canât bring yourself to step away.Â
âAnd how am I doing that?â His fingers tug you closer, thumb brushing against the inside of your wrist, before he leans close.Â
âYou know exactly how,â and your glance flickers from his gaze to his lips, and back again, resisting the urge to shut your eyes â but you donât have to, when he smears the batter all over your cheek.Â
âToru!â You stare at him, and heâs laughing, as you grab at him, only for him to slip away, âIâm gonna kill youââ and you move towards the sink, batter covered bowl still inside, âoh just you waitââÂ
But your beeline is cut short by his grip, arm darting around your middle, as he pulls you back. You gasp, struggling in his arms in vain â fuck his stupidly toned arms, âyou shouldnât start something youâre not ready to finish,â his words are said against your ear, but they rush down your body in almost a shudder.Â
His lips are an inch or two from yours, you would barely need to lean to reach them â the words of your coworkers ring in your earsÂ
âWho said I wasnât?â His eyes find yours, his fingers tilting your chin ever so slightly, when your phone rings.Â
You jerk slightly at the sound, your eyes flickering to the name across the screen and see Suguruâs name flashing on the screen.Â
âItâs Suguru,â and Satoru lets go of you, as you make your way to the phone, and you swear you hear him mutter something under his breath, âwhat did you say?â you donât pick up the phone but a few texts come through anyway.Â
âNothing,â he scratched the back of his head, âwhat did he say?âÂ
âHeâs asking if I wanna come over for dinner tonight, said youâre gonna be there too?â And you raise an eyebrow, as Satoru fishes his phone out of his pocket and glances at it.Â
âApparently I am,â you turn on the faucet, cleaning your face off, offering Satoru a damp tissue. âGuess this wonât be the last meal weâre sharing today,âÂ
âGuess not,â his fingers brush yours when taking the tissue, trying to clean the batter off his cheek but only spreads the mess. You snort, as you take the napkin from him holding his face by the chin, âso howâre we gonna play it?âÂ
âPlay what?â You toss the napkin away, both of you taking a seat at the table.Â
âDid you forget?â He stabs a pancake and places it in his plate, âwe told your aunt weâre dating â and that weâre hiding it from Suguru, and you just agreed to dinner with both of them,âÂ
Fuck.Â
⧠a/n: hi it's been quite a while T_T. sorry work has been so busy. i haven't had a moment to post, and now i had to split this up because it just got too long lmao. part two will come later, i'm going to be prioritizing my kinktober fics. thank you to @coffee-and-geto for betaing :)
⧠taglist: @satorusmochis , @celestialgojo , @sugurubabe , @being-me-is-not-a-sin , @strawberryfanatic01 , @cira273 , @sobbangchan , @hiraethwrote , @peppertoastuniverse , @dreamtardisspace , @redmangotango , @h4ru-h4ruu , @anpacax0 , @theshylittleelfgirl , @hyori2 , @elliesndg , @maddietries , @roses-can-be-deadly-too, @vernasce-blogs , @mrsoikawa17 , @spider-fan72 , @haoxiaoxi , @horchatacow , @lovemoreworrylessv, @maybe-a-bi-witch , @missroki , @rubyarerosies ,, @ranatherealestsigma , @svt-backup , @catsgomurp , @sakurastorm , @forest-fruits-jam , @lemonpoppy-seed , @goddess-ofthe-godless , @notgoodforlife , @johannakhalafalla , @fushitoru , @kentosbutterfly , @augustwinesworld
#sab [mlist]#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x you#satoru gojo fanfiction#gojo fanfiction#gojo x you#satoru gojo smut#satoru gojo fics#satoru gojo x you#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fanfiction#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#jjk smut#satoru gojo fluff
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Hey Iâm just begging for a fic of Logan with a shy reader that she has a crush on him but thinks heâs never going to fix on her since Jean exists (maybe the reader can make her hair color change depending on the emotion or something
a/n: sorry I havenât been responding to asks. The new job has officially killed my spirit. But I got to work out finally and do some yoga so hopefully Iâll start feeling more motivated đ€đ€this one will be shorter
Logan Howlett x X-men!reader (Chameleon)
âChameleon!â You jump, shoulders flying up to your ears. Almost immediately you can feel the tips of your fingers tingling. Sure enough, when you look down theyâre already disappearing. Sighing, you turn around and glare at Scott.Â
âWhat have I told you about scaring me?âÂ
He grimaces, raising his hands in surrender. âSorry, I forgot.â
You roll your eyes and turn back toward your project. âEvery time,â you mutter bitterly. Youâre not an idiot. You know he thinks scaring you is funny. The whole school does. They all like to see you yelp and blend in with the nearest surface, the only thing visible is your stupid hair.Â
âYouâre, um, turning red.â Scott points to your head and you donât have to look to know your hair is shifting colors.
You reach over and swat harshly at his arm, âBecause you pissed me off! I know you scare me on purpose,â you accuse, jabbing your finger into his chest. He laughs and stumbles away from you.Â
âAlright, alright, calm down. I was just messing around a little. Look,â he glances down at the lesson plans before you and sighs. âAll this will have to wait. Charles needs us all for a mission.â
You huff and shove the papers into your desk drawer. âAlright, lead the way.â You feel Scottâs eyes still lingering on your hair and glare at him. âMove it, Summers,â you demand.Â
You were already in a bad mood, you didnât need him making it worse. It honestly shouldnât be such a big deal for you. You get scared by everyone all the time. You used to enjoy it, enjoyed the way it felt like you all had your own joke. But, eventually, it started to feel less like an inside joke and more like youâre the unwitting butt of one.Â
Some mutants get amazing powers, like Jean or Charles. Loganâs abilities are incredible, even if he doesnât believe you when you tell him that. But yours, well, you're better suited as the cheap gimmick of a childrenâs birthday party than an X-Men. Youâre just a walking mood ring that blends in with her environment.Â
The only thing youâre good for is reconnaissance missions and embarrassing yourself. You donât know what Charles sees in you. Youâve never understood why he insists youâre such a good asset to the team. Yes, you are good at spying on people, but you donât need to when Charles has such strong telepathic abilities. Youâre essentially useless in a fight due to a lack of regenerative or strength abilities.Â
More often than not you feel like a child playing dress up, chasing after the big kids. You know the others donât mean anything bad by it when they tease you into going invisible or laugh when your hair changes. Itâs all in good fun. But it doesnât make you feel any less like easy entertainment rather than a teammate.Â
It doesnât help that youâve got little to no control over your abilities when it comes to Logan. Youâve never had such a horrifically bad crush like this. Anytime he opens his mouth around you, you're fighting off the urge to just go invisible and run away. You feel like you go feral around him. You donât know how he hasnât caught onto what the colors of your hair mean when youâre near him.Â
Itâs constantly switching between some odd mix of red and pink when you talk. Which, you know what it means, but youâre praying no one else does. Red can mean angry, depending on whether youâre talking to Scott or not. You know, though, that with Logan it just means you want to jump his bones and youâre hopelessly in love with him.Â
Thankfully, like the others, he associates red with anger. Which isnât great for you because that just means he thinks every time he opens his mouth youâre pissed off. At yourself, maybe, but at him, never. It just means when he wears those stupid tanktops you want to dig your teeth into his biceps and never let go.Â
Scott opens the door to the meeting room and you slide in past him. Charles gives you a brief smile as a greeting. You take the chair at the end of the table, which just happens to be next to Logan - completely coincidental. He gives you a tense smile and you return it stiffly. You tug your hood over your hair, praying he doesnât notice the red in your strands yet. You donât want him to think you hate him. You completely prefer that over him knowing how feral you are for him, but itâs not conducive to your slow plan to finally get him to acknowledge you as a sexual partner.Â
You swear, if your name isnât Jean Grey, you might as well just be a shapeless blob of nothing. He glances over at her, that smoldering look in his eyes, and you try not to throw up in your mouth. Scott wraps an arm around Jeanâs shoulders and they break their lingering stares.Â
Logan glances over at you and catches the glare on your face before you can get rid of it. He huffs and turns towards Charles. With a sigh, you sink back into your chair and focus on not just going invisible.Â
âChameleon,â Charles says your name and your eyes widen. You wonder how much youâve missed while youâve been glaring at the back of Jeanâs head. âDoes that sound alright with you?â
You look around the table for help but theyâre all staring expectantly at you. âSure,â you stumble over the word, racking your brain for any answers. It seems not even your subconscious was paying attention to Charles droning on. âSounds great.â He gives you a satisfied nod.Â
âGood. Off to the jet, all of you.â he rolls out of the room and you wait until heâs out of earshot to kick Logan under the table.Â
He glances back at you, smirking. âDonât know what you agreed to?â
You purse your lips and shake your head. âNope,â he gives you a look like he knew youâd say that. You hate how well he can read you when it feels like youâre constantly hitting walls trying to understand him.Â
âYouâre scoping a place out for us. Making sure itâs safe so we can retrieve some information.â You give him a thankful look and he chuckles. âYou need to start paying attention, kid.â
You groan and get up from your chair, brushing past him. âI told you to quit calling me that.â It makes you feel like thatâs all heâll ever see you as, some kid invited onto the team. You want him to see you as someone he could have sex with, hopefully, love one day.Â
He glances past you at Jean. She smiles at him and you fight everything inside you to not roll your eyes and gag at them. Sheâs holding onto Scott and making fuck me eyes at Logan, which heâs happily returning. This is just too disgusting for you.Â
You shove past him and ignore how he calls out your name. Your real name. Heâs the only one that uses it. For some reason, most people just refer to you by Chameleon. You donât understand why. They just donât seem to think of you outside your abilities as a mutant.Â
You make it to the jet before the others, taking the private time to change into your X-Men suit. If thereâs one useful thing about your ability, itâs that it affects whateverâs touching you. Which means, you donât have to strip naked to go completely invisible. And if anyone is around you, all you have to do is hold onto them and theyâll blend in too.Â
Youâre tugging up the zipper of your top as Logan walks in. He gives you an odd look, sitting on the bench in front of you. âAngry about something?â He asks, gaze darting up to your head.Â
You drag your fingers over the ends of your hair and sigh. âNo,â you tell him bluntly, taking the seat beside him.Â
His brows furrow in confusion. âItâs red, though,â he points out, his tone colored in suspicion.Â
You laugh a little, âRed doesnât always mean angry.â Itâs the most youâve ever confided about your hair colors to him. The largest hint youâve ever given him that you donât hate him. Youâre worried if he knew how you really felt about him, heâd think you were a little creep.Â
He slides his arm behind you on the bench, leaning in until youâre practically sharing the same air. You know your eyes are comically large, you donât even want to know what color your hair is turning right now. âWhat else does it mean, kid?â He whispers and you donât even pay attention to the nickname. All you can see and hear right now is him. How close he is, how close your lips are.Â
You could lean forward an inch or two and youâd be kissing. âUm,â you swallow harshly around the lump in your throat. You donât even know what he asked you, all you can think about now is kissing him.Â
âLogan!â Ororoâs voice echoes through the jet and you leap away from him, trying to calm your racing heart. Logan sighs and leans back in his seat, giving Storm a tense smile. She glances at you and laughs, âSheâs nearly see-through, what are you doing to her?â
You frown and look down at your hands. Sure enough, youâre going translucent. You let out a silent groan, and tuck your knees into your chest. You take a few deep breaths until youâre one solid form again. Itâs so embarrassing when that happens, when you lose control over yourself like that.Â
But itâs even worse when Logan does it to you. He gives you hope, stupid, hateful hope, for one minute that he might feel something deeper. Only for it to be another joke. Youâre a walking mood ring, nothing more than a quick laugh to all of them.Â
Jean walks up the ramp, her gaze going to Logan first before drifting towards you. âAre you alright?â She mutters, trying not to let the others hear. Of course, Logan can, with his stupid enhanced abilities. âYouâre turning blue,â she points out and you roll your eyes.Â
You can feel Loganâs stare burning holes into the side of your head and it only makes you feel worse. You hate being a joke, but you also hate showing them just how much it affects you. You donât want to seem like a crybaby that canât handle a little teasing. But youâd thought coming to Charlesâ school meant people would stop poking fun at you. It feels like being dragged right back into high school.Â
âIâm fine,â you tell her. She doesnât look like she believes you but she takes a seat anyway. Of course, placing herself right next to Logan, even though her fiancee is a few feet away from her, looking just as hurt as you. They lean into each other and whisper. Theyâre not even trying to hide it anymore. You let your glare bore into the floor, ignoring how much seeing them together hurts.Â
The mission had gone well, Logan had been hoping to go to the bar and grab a drink with you. But the second his back is towards you, youâre running off the jet. Logan calls out your name, trying to catch up. You glance back at him, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. He smiles at you and your eyes widen. You go invisible and Logan glances around, baffled.Â
He calls out your name again but the door ahead of him opens and closes quickly. He can only assume youâve run away again. You always run away from him. Youâre always pissed off at him. He doesnât know what Jeanâs talking about when she says you like him.Â
Loganâs never met anyone more repulsed by him.Â
âWould you just trust me?â Jean tells him lowly, creeping up behind him.Â
His face falls and he turns to her, glaring at her knowing smirk. âShe just fuckinâ ran away from me. Pretty sure thatâs about as good a hint as Iâm gonna get, Jean.â
She glances over her shoulder, waving Scott away and looping her arm through Loganâs. âYouâre an idiot, Howlett.â He scoffs and she swats at his shoulder. âTrust me, I can read minds, remember?â
Of course, he knows sheâs got some pretty decent telepathic abilities. But he didnât think she would so brazenly breach your boundaries. Thereâs an unspoken rule that the mind readers of the school donât delve into your brain without permission.Â
She sees the look on his face and sighs. âI didnât read her mind. She got drunk a little while ago and told me about her raging crush on you,â she laughs a little at your expense and Logan lets out a short chuckle. You can be a pretty sloppy drunk if they let you go too far. He figures it was one of those girlâs nights he wants nothing to do with. Youâd probably let the tight reigns you keep on yourself slip for once.Â
âShe goes red every time she sees me. I donât know what else that could mean other than she hates me.â Logan isnât surprised that youâre not taken with him like he is with you. Heâs used to the rejection, but it hurts just a bit more coming from you. Youâre so welcoming to the others.Â
You embrace every new member of the school with open arms. Yet, with him, you get angry whenever you see him. You see through his walls, see the rot lurking underneath them. And, rightfully, want nothing to do with him. He understands your reasoning.Â
Most days he barely wants anything to do with himself. Heâs made a lot of bad choices in his life, half of which he canât remember. But heâd hoped, for one minute, that you might give him a second chance. As much as Jean insists otherwise, he can see the truth of how you feel about him every time you run away.Â
âRed doesnât always mean anger,â Jean tells him elusively. Itâs the same thing youâd said to him on the jet. It makes his brows furrow in confusion and he glares at her.Â
âWhat else could it mean?â He demands sharply, sick of her teasing him with the possibility you might feel the same way.Â
She bites her lip, looking suddenly sheepish. âI canât say-â
âJean,â Logan snaps. He stops her from walking any further, keeping her planted in one spot with him. âTell me,â heâs sick of the games youâre both playing with him. He just wants some straight fucking answers. How hard is that?
She sighs and looks away from him. âI promised her I wouldnât tell.â
âAnd Iâm sure you promised you also wouldnât tell me how she feels about me,â he points out. Thereâs a sharp tone to his voice, itâs rude but he canât bother feeling guilty about it.Â
She canât meet his eye, a smirk fighting at the corner of her lips. He waits impatiently for her answer, irritation broiling quickly in his gut. Heâs about to snap at her again when she finally meets his eyes.Â
She speaks through a laugh, like what sheâs about to say is so ridiculous she canât hold it in. âShe wants,â she cuts herself off with another laugh and Logan groans in frustration. He begins to walk away from her when she yells, âShe wants to fuck you!â At his back.Â
His eyes widen in surprise before he turns back to her with a displeased look. âAre you fuckinâ with me?â He demands, narrowing his eyes at her suspiciously.Â
She shakes her head and brushes past him. âYou didnât hear it from me,â she warns, tone grave as she leaves the room.Â
Logan is left standing in the same spot, stunned at the revelation. Heâs not sure how much of that he believes. But he doesnât understand why Jean would possibly lie to him about this. She gains nothing by setting him up for failure. As much as he doubts the honesty behind her words, heâs got no other choice but to trust them.Â
He heads to the most likely place youâre hiding out. Charles has a private library thatâs blocked off from the kids. There are too many first editions in there, he canât risk any of them accidentally blowing them up. You like to head there when youâre trying to avoid people.Â
He tries to stay quiet as he walks in, not wanting you to run off again. Itâs hard to confront someone who goes invisible whenever she feels like it. He sees light blue hair draped over the back of an armchair. He feels like a creep as he stalks towards you, sneaking and pouncing on you so you canât run away.Â
He canât imagine how Jean ever thought him approaching you would be a good idea. He whispers your name, trying not to startle you. It doesnât take a genius to see how much you hate when the others scare you. They might not mean anything bad by it, but they have to be blind not to see how much it pisses you off.Â
You still jump, glancing up at him with a surprised look. He looks to your hair for any tells of how you feel. Some pink weaves its way through the stands but it otherwise stays relatively blue. His brows furrow in confusion, he canât tell if itâs a good or bad sign that thereâs no red.Â
âHow are ya, kid? Ran off pretty quick earlier.âÂ
âDonât call me that,â you mutter, giving him a brief glare before staring absently down at the book in your hands. Logan kneels beside your armchair, covering the pages with his hand. You huff, giving him an expectant look. âYes, Logan?â You demand, tone short.
Logan tilts his head, examining you and your body language. You seem relatively closed off, irritated at him or something else. He doesnât know what to say. Heâs never been good with words or trying to express how he feels. Heâs more comfortable showing how much he cares for those around him.Â
Throwing caution to the wind, he lets his hand drift to your wrist and tugs you forward. Your eyes widen as he drags you toward him. The kiss is short, he doesnât want to push you too much. But it takes everything in him to stop himself from deepening it. All he wants is to pull you into his arms and devour you.Â
He holds back, parting from you with a low exhale. Your eyes flutter open and he grins when he sees the bright red your hair has turned. âWhat,â you sputter and stumble over your words. You shove him back and leap to your feet. âWhat the hell was that?â You demand, voice higher than heâs ever heard of it. âWhat was that?â You ask him shrilly, again.Â
You almost seem to be stuck in a loop, blinking rapidly and asking the same thing. Logan chuckles and gets to his feet, he gives you a knowing look and you narrow your eyes at him in disbelief.Â
âJean told me.â
Your brows furrow and you shake your head. Realization dawns on your face and you gasp, looking up at him with something like horror on your expression. âNo,â you tell him lowly. âShe didnât,â it almost sounds like youâre begging him to tell you otherwise.Â
He laughs again and your face falls. You start going clear, he can see the bookshelf through your stomach and he sighs. He grabs your hand, holding onto you before you can run again. You donât even seem to be aware that youâre slowly disappearing from view.Â
âSheâs, uh,â he struggles to figure out what to say to make you feel better. âSheâs been coaching me,â he admits shamefully. âTrying to help me talk to you.â
You glance up at him but he can barely see your expression. The only thing reassuring him youâre here is his grip on you and your voice. âWhat? But I thought that-â You cut yourself off quickly and Logan glares down at where he thinks your face is.Â
âThought what?â
You take a long pause and exhale deeply. âI thought,â you mutter, âyou liked her.â
âSheâs with Scott,â he points out bluntly. He can practically hear you roll your eyes, even if he canât see it.Â
âYeah, I know. But you guys are always whispering to each other and making googly eyes.â
âGoogly eyes?â He interrupts, disgust clear in his tone.Â
âI was wrong,â you continue, ignoring him. âI see that now, but I thought you didnât care about me.â
Logan huffs, he hates that you thought that. He should have just been open with you from the start. Heâs faced rejection his whole life, he shouldnât have been so petrified of it just because it could come from you. If heâd just manned up and told you earlier, it would have saved you both a lot of time and hurt.Â
âKid,â he hopes heâs making eye contact with you and not just staring at some random book. Itâs really hard to tell when you go invisible like this. âYouâre the only person I care about in here.â
Youâre quiet for a long while and he worries youâve somehow slipped away without him realizing. But, ever so slowly, you start coming back into view. Logan awkwardly averts his eyes from your breasts, heâd been hoping he was making eye contact with you, clearly, he was wrong.Â
âYou mean that?â You ask, and he hates the trepidation in your voice. Heâs never been good with words, he doesnât know how to tell you how much you mean to him. But he can show you.Â
His hand drifts up your arm, wrapping around the back of your neck and tugging you towards him. You trip over your feet, hands landing on his chest to stabilize yourself. He leans down, hovering over your lips for a moment. He waits until your eyes drift shut and your lips purse impatiently before he finally kisses you again.Â
He doesnât hold himself back this time. He pours every racing thought heâs ever had about you, every one of his wanted-to-tell-you-how-he-feels-and-hasnât moments into the kiss. Your hands slowly curl up into his shirt, wrinkling it and tugging him further into you.Â
To his surprise, you deepen the kiss, mouth moving over his like you want to devour him whole. Heâs sure if he opened his eyes your hair would be a bright roaring red. He smirks against your lips, happy that, for once, he actually listened to Jean. If it gets him results like this, he might have to do it more often.Â
end. â I do not own the characters or the comics/movies Wolverine/X-Men, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
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