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deathbxnny · 2 months ago

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Arcane women cheating on their s/o and getting caught. | Vi, Caitlyn, Sevika x Gn!Reader

(Part 2)

So I'm writing this whilst extremely sick, but the idea just wouldn't leave my mind, so I'm sorry if this sucks... also, you're welcome in advance!<3

Content: TW!Cheating, angst, hurt/no comfort, swearing, some violence? Idk, just chaos, probably ooc, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns.

((Not proofread))

》VI

In hindsight, you should have known better than to think that she'd be yours forever. When you were children under Vander's care, she had promised you that she'd be yours for life. It was naive, and deep down, you knew that it wouldn't last. Especially when she was able to leave prison with the help of that Enforcer.

You weren't blind to how close they were when Vi came to visit you weeks after her release, claiming to have an important mission with the blue haired woman she had to finish first. But things fell into place again with her, and you pushed those thoughts aside from the joy of having your girlfriend back... until the denial finally caught up to you months later, when you were asked to go on a mission with her and Caitlyn to catch Jinx once and for all. You refused at first, unwilling to be the cause of more pain in Zaun, yet Vi couldn't see how wrong it was.

She followed the Kirammann near blindly even when she should've known better, and that hurt. You ultimately just joined because she practically made you to and didn't leave you much of a choice. The jealousy was, however, unbearable, yet Vi just called you dramatic in response.

It was no big deal anyway. Her and Caitlyn were just partners in this mission, you know? It's really not that big of a deal. They are just very good friends at best. Can't she have friends, or are you that controlling now? The lies finally came to the surface when you trailed after them secretly whilst Vi asked for a private moment alone. It felt wrong and invasive at first, but what you saw was a lot worse than the guilt. Caitlyn leaned forward to kiss Vi on the lips, and a perhaps foolish part of you hoped that your girlfriend would push her away to tell her off. Yet she didn't do that. Instead, she dropped her gauntlets and melted into the Piltovans embrace fully, as though your relationship didn't matter. And maybe it never did to her.

You let out a shaky sigh, doing your best not to absolutely freak out in the face of absolute doom. Everything suddenly felt so tense and suffocating, your body trembling in horror. You should've listened to your gut feeling months ago. But love blinded you. It really did. You couldn't look away either, your broken heart pounding against your ribcage wildly when it finally dawned on you that you were an idiot this whole time. Everyone must've caught on except for you, and yet you had the hope that she'd never do this to you. Not your Vi. Never your Vi. Prison must've changed her more than you thought.

Unable to breathe and completely devastated, you attempted to step back and flee. You didn't even want to bother and yell at her when she didn't even deserve your time anymore. But alas, fate had different ideas, as you knocked over an empty can that made both women part in surprise. Vi's eyes immideatly met yours, a shocked look on her face as though you were the one that betrayed her. "Oh fuck... wait, I can explain, I, we-" "-Vander would be disappointed in you, Violet." You said, unable to stop the painful words from slipping out of your lips. Her feelings would never be protected by you again anyway. You've wasted years of your life waiting for her and caring for her when she finally got out. You never complained, and you bit your tongue every time she did something that you disliked. But it was all for nothing.

Vi was left speechless at your words that awoke a deep insecurity she had attempted to hide for so long. Imagining Vander's disgusted and disapproving face didn't help. Pushing Caitlyn out of the way, she tried approaching you carefully, afraid to lose you. You were the last thing she had left. "Please babe, it's... that was... Fuck just let me explain." But there was nothing she could say to make you forget what you saw. And you sure as hell weren't going to stay with a cheater. Vander taught you to know your worth, and you wouldn't let him down like that.

So when Vi was close enough, you slapped her right across the face, making her stumble. How could such an innocent gaze do the worst things? You had to get out of here before your hands stained the blood of your own people, too. "Cupcake wait -" "-Our people are dying at her hands, whether you like to see it or not. And I refuse to be a traitor either." Not bothering to hear what else she had to say, you simply left and never looked back.

Forever truly is never promised.

》CAITLYN

She has grown distant to you ever since her mother's death. Something you understood and supported by allowing her space to grief. You did everything for her to have a comfortable transition into this uncertain future, hoping it would ease the pain ever so slightly. But things aren't that easy. Her rage was brewing and overflowing into an irrational hatred for all Zaunites due to who had killed her. You may have never met Jinx, but even you understood that not everyone down there was like this. They didn't deserve the anger.

Yet Caitlyn couldn't see it your way and refused to, which led to many arguments and eventually a separation for the time being. Your heart was hurting, and you couldn't recognize the woman she had become. But of course, you were the crazy one. The Traitor, who empathized with those "animals", a word you were still in disbelief in to hear from her of all people, considering her late mother's ambitions. Ambitions that she stepped all over after she used her vents for an unforgivable plan that gassed the entire undercity with "the grey". You couldn't believe it. It left you to sit at Cassandra's grave frozen and bewildered for hours on end, guilty about being unable to do anything.

But just as you thought she couldn't get any worse, she had to prove you wrong like always.

On a moonlight night, you made your way through her estate in search of the last of your belongings. You weren't going to stay in Piltover any longer after she became the commander. Not being able to stand what she now was, you took it upon yourself to leave as silently as possible. Perhaps get back at her for hurting you, as selfish as it may have been to you at first. Yet the guilt melted away when you creaked open the door to her room, a room you often secretly shared. You didn't think she was home around this hour, as you hoped she was too busy to be there yet. But alas, there she was, with a familiar red-headed officer of hers. The one you couldn't stand at first sight, as you felt like there was something off about her.

You were right about that, at least. You couldn't make out everything, but their scandly clad figures moving around the bed was enough to paint a picture you wished to forget. Oh, how the rage took ahold of you in that moment! For a split second, you finally understood how she must've felt like. And god did you hate it.

Unwilling to let this ruin the reason you've come here to begin with, you unceremoniously switched the lights back on and casually began to grab your things off the shelves and vanity. Caitlyn jumped up in surprise when she finally could see again and saw you standing there, back facing her. She was speechless, and so was the sly officer below her. Although the smirk was easy to hide behind a covered mouth. "Don't mind me. Just here to get the last of my belongings." You said, voice shockingly steady. Despite the shocking situation, you felt calm and undeterred, finally done with her at last. "W-wait, this isn't what it looks like, love. This means nothing, I-" "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. No need for it when my skyship is leaving soon." You turned to glance at her and felt a sick satisfaction at her horror striken face. She certainly never expected you to catch her, and you certainly never expected her to sink so low.

Stumbling out of the bed and after you, as you exited the room, she ignored Maddie's hushed pleas to stay. "Come on, wait and allow me to explain, at least! I... Things have been hard lately -" You walked quicker now, not wanting to hear what she had to say. But she just wouldn't let you go. "- And, and you weren't around and I..." "Are you done? I wasn't around because you didn't want me to. Now let me leave at once, or I will scream and alert everyone in this building of what you're doing." Caitlyn stood still at the top of the grand staircase that you practically ran down. Before you slipped through the doors, however, you turned to her one last time, tears finally burning in your eyes so treacherously.

"Your mother died in vain, hoping from the heaven's above that her daughter would be worth the Kirammann name... and yet, all she does is roll in her grave at your actions. Oh, the shame." You hissed out before slamming the doors shut and never looking back.

》SEVIKA

Sevika was well known for her loyalty to those who deserve it. It was unrelenting and filled with unparalleled devotion, especially to you. Or so you thought.

Looking back on it, you wondered when the first red flags started appearing. Was it when she ditched Vander for Silco? Or when she spent endless nice "gambling" in some downtown bars instead of hanging out with you? Or was it maybe when she would only come back home extremely late into the night... or days later, sometimes.

There was always a new excuse, too.

She had a lot to do. Missions are piling up. Some random drug dealers weren't handing over the money they owed to Silco. Enforcers were causing some trouble. The Firelights were causing some trouble. She got too drunk and had to crash somewhere closer to the bar. Jinx blew something up again, and she had to fix it. Silco had her running all over Zaun collecting debts. Blah, blah, blah... the creativity was never-ending, and you were beginning to get beyond enraged about it.

You weren't stupid after all. It didn't take much to figure out that she was lying most of the time, and it was clear that she didn't care if you knew either. It was all very half-assed, to say the least. And the people that you asked for confirmation would always roll their eyes, knowing just as much as you did that it was bullshit and she was definitely doing something she shouldn't. Like getting drunk to the point she couldn't remember where home is. Metaphorically and literally. But what got you the most is how blatant and in your face it was.

The question as to why she was doing this now after years of being together is one you'll most likely never get an answer to. And you've made peace with that a while ago. Revenge was, however, still very much on the table, and you'd be damned if you didn't get an ounce of it.

With some bribery, Jinx was thankfully very willing to rat out Sevika, going as far as to even happily lead you to her. She wanted to see the world burn and knew that you weren't the type to let people get away with hurting you. And so, she leaned back with the sweets she acquired through you and watched as you casually loomed behind her in some run-down brothel. She apparently really loved frequenting this one, according to the crazed girl, something that made you scoff. She'd trade you in for THIS? Now that's an insult. The brothel workers nervously scooched away from her at the sight of your face. You two being a couple was well known, but you didn't blame the girls for doing their job. A bag is a bag, and you're about to have Sevika's head in one.

Grabbing a nearby bottle of wine, you practically smashed it over her head, knowing that it would do little to hurt her. "What the Fuck?!" She cursed, immideatly standing up to bash someone's face in. Yet after being met with your unimpressed look, she froze. "Hm? What is it? Not having fun anymore? Because I certainly am." The brothel workers quickly fled, leaving you alone. In the distance, you could hear Jinx's cackles. At least someone was actually finding this amusing. "... Ah... Hey, sweetheart... I uh..." "Call me that again, and I'll gouge your eyes out next. Years and years of loyalty to your miserable ass and this is what I get, Sevika? Have I really gotten that boring to you?" You hissed out, trying your best not to burst into tears.

You've been with this woman for so long through absolutely everything imaginable. But it wasn't enough for her. She had changed over the years into someone you hated, and you couldn't believe you were willing to waste so much more time with her. Not anymore, though. Suddenly feeling so suffocated in this stuffy room, you rolled your eyes and threw what was left of the broken bottle right at her speechless form before turning and leaving. "You know what? I don't care anymore. Go and find someone else who will in this hellscape because I promise you that you won't."

Stepping out into the dim lanes of Zaun, you felt more free than ever before as you ducked into the darkness for good. She'll never see you again, and you'll be sure of it, as you listened to her calls for your name getting further and further away.

#arcane #arcane x genderneutral reader #arcane x y/n #arcane x you #arcane vi #arcane vi x reader #vi #vi x reader #arcane caitlyn x reader #arcane caitlyn #caitlyn x reader #caitlyn #caitlyn kiramman #arcane sevika #arcane sevika x reader #sevika x reader #sevika

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fairuzfan · 6 months ago

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19 October 2023: In Gaza, we have grown accustomed to war

Horrific experiences of death and destruction have permanently impacted Palestinians’ culture, language and collective memory. “Is it war again?” asks my little Amal, 7, memories of the previous Israeli assaults still fresh in her mind.

The wording of the question shows the maturity she has been forced to develop. Last year, Amal asked her mum if it was “another war.”

Yes, it is war again in Gaza! In Gaza, we have grown accustomed to war. War has become a recurrent reality, a nightmare that won’t go away. A brutal normality. War has become like a grumpy old relative, one that we can’t stand but can’t rid ourselves of either.

The children pay the heaviest price. A price of fear and nonstop trauma that is reflected in their behaviors and their reactions. It’s estimated that over 90 percent of Palestinian children in Gaza show signs of trauma. But also, specialists claim there is no post-war trauma in Gaza as the war is still ongoing.

My grandmother would tell me to put on a heavy sweater because it would rain. And it would rain! She, like all Palestinian elders, had a unique sense, an understanding of the earth, wind, trees and rain. The elders knew when to pick olives for pickling or for oil. I was always envious of that.

Sorry, Grandma. We have instead become attuned to the vagaries of war. This heavy guest visits us uninvited, unwelcomed and undesired, perches on our chests and breaths, and then claims the lives of many, in the hundreds and thousands.

A Palestinian in Gaza born in 2008 has witnessed seven wars: 2008–2009, 2012, 2014, 2021, 2022, 2023A and 2023B. And as the habit goes in Gaza, people can be seven wars old, or four wars old. My little Amal, born in 2016, now holds a BA in wars, having lived through four destructive campaigns. In Gaza, we often speak about wars in terms of academic degrees: a BA in wars, an MA in wars, and some might humorously refer to themselves as PhD candidates in wars.

Our discourse has significantly changed and shifted. At night, when Israel particularly intensifies the bombardment, it’s a “party”: “The party has begun.” “It will be a horrific party tonight.” And then there is “The Bag,” capital T and capital B. This is a bag that is hurriedly prepared to contain the cash, the IDs, the birth certificates and college diplomas. The aim is to grab the kids and one item when there is a threat of evacuation.

The collective memories and culture of Palestinians in Gaza have been substantially impacted by these horrific experiences of war and death. Most Gazans have lost family members, relatives, or loved ones or have had their homes damaged or destroyed. It’s estimated that these wars and the escalations between them have claimed the lives of over 9,000 (it was 7,500 when I started drafting this last week!) Palestinians and destroyed over 60,000 housing units.

Death and war. War and Death. These two are persona non grata, yet we can’t force them to leave. To let us be.

Palestinian poet Tamim Al-Barghouti summarizes the relationship between death and the Palestinians that war brings (my translation):

It was not wise of you, Death, to draw near.

It was not wise to besiege us all these years.

It was not wise to dwell this close,

So close we’ve memorized your visage

Your eating habits

Your time of rest

Your mood swings

Your heart’s desires

Even your frailties.

O, Death, beware!

Don’t rest that you tallied us.

We are many.

And we are still here

[Seventy] years after the invasion

Our torches are still alight

Two centuries

After Jesus went to his third grade in our land

We have known you, Death, too well.

O, Death, our intent is clear:

We will beat you,

Even if they slay us, one and all.

Death, fear us,

For here we are, unafraid.

23 October 2023: Five stages of coping with war in Gaza

Our familiarity with war in Gaza has led us to develop a unique perspective and unique coping mechanisms.

We can identify five major emotional stages that Gazans go through during these grim conflicts. The stages are denial, fear, silence, numbness, hope, despair and submission.

This is day 16 and Israel has killed more than 5,000 Palestinians (many are still unaccounted for under the rubble), including over 2,000 Palestinian children, Gaza authorities tell us. More than 15,000 were injured and over 25,000 Palestinian homes were destroyed. And Israel says it is ready for ground invasion.

Stage one: Denial

In the early stages of a crisis, there is often a sense of denial. We convince ourselves that this time won’t lead to war. People are tired of the recurring conflicts, and both sides may appear too preoccupied to engage in warfare. As missiles fall and soar, we maintain a form of partial denial, hoping that this time will not be as lengthy or devastating as past wars.

No, this time it’s not going to be war. Everyone is tired of wars. Israel is too busy to go to war.

Palestinians are too exhausted and too battered to engage in a war. It could just last five days, give or take, we hope.

Stage two: Fear

Soon, denial turns to fear as the reality of another war sets in. Gaza is paralyzed as civilians, including children, are attacked by Israeli bombs. The pictures and videos of massacres, of homes obliterated with the families inside, of high rise buildings toppled like dominoes turn the denial into utter terror.

Every strike, especially at night, means all the children wake up crying and weep. As parents, we fear for our kids and we fear we can’t protect our loved ones.

Stage three: Silence and numbness

This is when Israel particularly intensifies the bombing of civilian homes. Stories are interrupted. Prayers are cut short. Meals are left uneaten. Showers are abandoned.

Therefore, amid the chaos and danger Israel brings, many in Gaza, especially children, withdraw into silence. They find solace in solitude as means of coping with the overwhelming emotion and uncertainty that surrounds them. Silence prevails.

Then numbness follows. As people attempt to protect themselves from the constant onslaught of distressing news, they grow indifferent. Because we could die anyway, no matter where we go. Emotional numbness sets in, as individuals attempt to detach from their emotions to survive.

Stage four: Hope

In the midst of despair, glimmers of hope may emerge. Even in the darkest moments, Gazans may hold onto the belief Israel might at least kill fewer people, bomb fewer places, and damage less. The most hopeful of us wish for a lasting ceasefire or an end to the siege or even the occupation. But this is merely hope. And hope is dangerous.

We hope that politicians will man up. We hitch our hope to the masses taking to the streets to reassure their politicians and warn they will be punished in future elections if they support Israeli aggression against Palestinians in Gaza.

Stage five: Despair and submission

Unfortunately, hope can often be fleeting, and many Gazans have experienced recurring cycles of despair. The repeated loss of life, homes and security lead to deep feelings of helplessness.

In the final stage, there is a sense of submission as Gazans accept the reality that they are unable to change the situation. That they are left alone. That the world has abandoned us. That Israel can kill and destroy at large with impunity. This is a stage marked by endurance, as Palestinians strive to adapt and persevere in the face of ongoing challenges.

These stages of war have become an unfortunate part of life in Gaza, shaping the resilience and perseverance of the Palestinian people in the face of unimaginable hardships imposed by the Israeli occupation.

27 October 2023: What it’s like when Israel bombs your building

I have six children. And so far we have survived seven major Israeli escalations, unscathed. We are an average family. My wife, Nusayba, is a housewife, I have two children in college and my youngest child, Amal, is 7. In Gaza, Amal is already four wars old.

We are an average family in Gaza, but we have had our fair share of Israeli death and destruction.

So far, since the early 1970s, I have lost 20 (and 15 last week) members of my extended family due to Israeli aggression.

In 2014, Israel destroyed our family home of seven flats, killing my brother Mohammed.

In 2014, Israel killed about 20 of my wife’s family including her brother, her sister, three of her sister’s kids, her grandfather and her cousin. And destroyed several of my in-laws’ homes.

Combined, my wife and I have lost over fifty 50 members to Israeli war and terror.

2023 war on Gaza

As the bombs fall and Israel targets sleeping families in their homes, parents are torn between several issues.

Should we leave? But go where, when Israel targets evacuees on their way and targets the areas they evacuate to?

Should we stay with relatives? Or should our relatives stay with us, whose home is relatively “safe?” We can never be sure. It’s been more than 75 years of brutal occupation – and over six major Israeli military onslaughts in the past 15 years – and we have so far failed to understand Israel’s brutality and mentality of death and destruction.

And then there is the fear of what to do if – when – we are bombed. We try to evade them. But how can you evade the bombs when Israel throws three or four or five consecutive bombs at the same home.

The big question Palestinian households debate is whether we should sleep in the same room so that when we die, we die together, or whether we should sleep in different rooms so some of us may survive.

The answer is always that we need to sleep in the living room together. If we die, we die together. No one has to deal with the heartbreak.

No food. No water. No electricity.

This 2023 war is different. Israel has intensified using hunger as a weapon. By completely besieging Gaza and cutting off the electricity and water supplies and not allowing aid or imports, Israel is not only putting Palestinians on a diet, but also starving them.

In my household, and we are a well-off family, my wife and I sat with the children and explained the situation to them, especially the little ones: “We need to ration. We need to eat and drink a quarter of what we usually consume. It’s not that we do not have money, but food is running out and we barely have water.”

And good luck explaining to your 7-year-old that she can’t have her two morning eggs and instead she will be having a quarter of a bomb! (Israel later bombed the eggs.)

As a parent, I feel desperate and helpless. I can’t provide the love and protection I am supposed to give my kids.

Instead of often telling my kids “I love you,” I have been repeating for the past two weeks:

“Kids, eat less. Kids, drink less.” And I imagine this being my last thing I say to them and it is devastating.

Israel bombs our building

If we had a little food last week, now we barely have any because Israel struck our home with two missiles while we were inside. And without prior warning!

My wife Nusayba had already instructed the kids to run if a bombing happened nearby. We never expected [our building] to be hit. And that was a golden piece of advice.

I was hosting four families of relatives in my flat. Most of them were kids and women.

We ran and ran. We carried the little ones and grabbed the small bags with our cash and important documents that Gazans keep at the door every time Israel wages a war.

We escaped with a miracle, with only bruises and tiny scratches. We checked and found everyone was fine. And then we walked to a nearby UN school shelter, which was in an inhuman condition. We crammed into small classrooms with other families.

With that, we lost our last sense of safety. We lost our water. We lost our food and the remaining eggs that Amal loves.

We are an average Palestinian family. But we have had our fair share of Israeli death and destruction. In Gaza, no one is safe. And no place is safe. Israel could kill all 2.3 million of us and the world would not bat an eye.

#palestine

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notlongtolove · 3 months ago

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the garden is growing

"you live together, work together. doesn’t it all get a little boring?" there’s a weight to her observation, something invasive, like she’s pulling out weeds that you never asked her to tend, tilling through soil that’s been left unbothered for too long. the cups of tea, the folding of blankets. you could never call that boring.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (second person, no y/n)

genre: fluff! maybe angst if you really really squint

content: after catching up with an old friend, bau!reader and bf!spencer have a contemplative talk about their relationship as they walk home. domestic... mentions of marriage... lurve in the air...

word count: 2.2k

note: a post finals treat to myself! leaned heavy into the garden imagery for this one lol, this was heavily inspired by the poem linked, i highly recommend it! o i also added some song recs below for this one :P (ps i did not mean to compare spencer's eyes to PEBBLES but it was either that or a random brown flower... sorry.)

a line: The perennial pushes its way through the cracks in the concrete—small, steady, and undeniably alive. It’s there. It’s growing.

If you ask me 'What's new?', I have nothing to say Except that the garden is growing. - wendy cope

When you were younger, you had a garden. A field just a stone's throw from your front door. Not the kind in a backyard, fenced in and manageable. No, it was wild and uncontained, the grass alive beneath your feet. They used to say love was like a garden. You'd think about that sometimes—how you were supposed to tend to it, rake and comb and pull out the weeds before they strangled your beautiful flowers. And when it rained, you just had to let it. Let the downpour come and see what survived.

You’re standing under the awning, shaking droplets off your jacket. You mumble a thanks to the doorman as he holds the door open, offering a silent nod in return. The door opens to a polished, marble lobby, and suddenly you’re acutely aware of how out of place you look. You’d come straight from the office, having dwindled your stack of case files from a grand total of 26 to a modest 19. The grand mirror to your left does nothing to help. If anything, it’s magnifying the creased fabric of your trousers and the damp strands of hair stuck to your cheek. You shift uncomfortably, tugging at your sleeves and smoothing your hair out in a futile attempt at order. It was urgent she’d said. A matter of utmost importance. You’re not sure why you’re here, but you know with certainty that you’d rather not be.

She sees you before you see her. She calls out for you, the nickname wrapping around you like a sweater one size too small—warm but suffocating. It might as well be. You haven’t seen her in nearly a year—maybe a year and a half? You shrug, suddenly missing Spencer’s precision, his ability to pin things down to the day, the hour.

"Hi," you manage, sliding into the seat opposite her. “I’m really sorry. Work was crazy—" you start, but your words dissolve the moment she thrusts her hand forward. A diamond—no, a boulder—catches the light, dazzling and deliberate. You nearly choke on the glass of water you’ve just picked up.

"Let me tell you about crazy," she says, her grin sharpening.

Oh, the yacht! And don’t even get me started on the violins, can you believe it! The sea was just gorgeous—Did I mention it was on a yacht? Her words tumble out as you try to follow along, but you can’t quite keep up, only noting it definitely involved an abhorrent amount of Dom Perignon.

“I wish you could’ve been there to see it,” she says, her voice tinged with what you hope is nostalgia and not pity.

“I’m sorry I missed it,” you murmur, and you mean it—sort of. You used to be close, but since starting at the BAU, everything else kind of took a backseat. It had to. “I wish I could’ve too. Work’s been—”

"Crazy, right," she cuts in, waving it off. "Big fancy BAU," She winks. "That job’s gonna be the death of you one day y’know, all those hours." You force a laugh, but her words hit a little too literally, heavier than she knows. You don’t think she quite grasps the reality of your work.

“So,” she says, leaning in now, her chin propped delicately on her hand, her diamond ring catching the light. You can’t help but think it’s mocking you. “How’s things going with Spencer?”

"Oh, they’re going fine."

"Fine?" She raises her brows. "Trouble in paradise?"

“No, not at all,” you insist, your voice instinctively rising in defence. “We’re—fine. You know, same old, same old. We just wrapped a big case actually. This guy—” You cut yourself off, realizing mid-sentence that the story of a guy meticulously collecting hair from women post-mortem doesn’t feel like the kind of story to share during dinner under a sparkling chandelier—Not that you’re doing much eating anyway. The menu was a labyrinth of fancy salads, obscure cheeses, and entrées described in French that you’re only half sure translate to lamb. You’d settled for pushing a few greens around your plate, making a mental note to stop by the bodega later.

Her laugh pulls you back to the table, "I don’t know how you do it."

"Do what?"

"You know… Live together, work together, day in, day out. Doesn’t it all get a little..." She trails off, letting her expression finish the sentence.

"A little… what?"

"Boring?"

You blink. "Boring?"

The word tastes bitter. You don’t like it. The way the dog always chases the cat? Boring. The way the cat always seeks shelter in the same tree? Boring. But the way they both come running home every time you call? That’s never boring. Spencer in the quiet mornings—hair tousled, voice soft and sleepy as he murmurs a 'good morning.' The cups of tea, the folding of blankets. You could never call that boring.

She laughs lightly, the sound cutting through the restaurant’s hum. "Not in a bad way! I just mean... do you guys even go out? Like, for fun? You guys have been together for, what like, years now?” Three years and 4 months, you think to yourself. You’d never need Spencer’s eidetic memory to remember that.

"Well, yeah, sure we do…" you say finally. "Um, we went to a museum recently." You don’t tell her it was to interview a suspect. Her smile tightens, like she’s not sure whether to believe you or feel sorry for you. You take a careful sip of water, resisting the urge to shift under her gaze. There’s a weight to her observation, something invasive, like she’s pulling out weeds that you never asked her to tend, tilling through soil that’s been left unbothered for too long. Outside, the rain keeps falling.

By the time you part with polite hugs and hollow smiles, the downpour has softened to a drizzle. Spencer is waiting by the curb, hair slightly damp. His eyes light up at the sight of you. Under the glow of the streetlight, they remind you of the pebbles you used to collect by the garden path. You’d carry them home, pocketful by pocketful, washing and scrubbing at them until they shone. Only your favourites made it to your shelf. Tiny, perfect trophies.

“Hi, honey.”

"Hiya." You lean into his chest, a tired smile tugging at your lips as you manage a strained, “I’m starving.”

“Hi starving. Care for a burrito?” he asks, tilting a takeout bag toward you with a small smile.

Your eyes meet his, and there’s something in his smile—soft, understanding, familiar—that makes your chest ache. “How’d you know?” you ask, practically tearing into the bag.

“Searched the menu after you left,” he says simply, falling into step beside you as you start walking. “Figured you wouldn't have liked much in there," he shrugs, casual. You feel your cheeks warm. Two hours away from Spencer Reid is two hours too long.

The walk home is quiet at first, the two of you picking your way around puddles reflecting neon signs. The burrito’s long gone, leaving your hand free for Spencer to hold, fingers interlocked.

“She’s engaged,” you say eventually.

Spencer furrows his brows. “Already?”

“It’s only been like, what, eight? nine months?”

Spencer frowns, pauses then says, “256 days”, the precision drawing a faint smile from you.

“Crazy isn’t it?”

“I guess. Some people are like that,” he says, “Did you know statistically, couples who get engaged within the first year of dating are 20% more likely to divorce within the first five years?”

“With that prenup incoming she’d better hope they’re the exception then…” you murmur, not really listening.

There’s something in your chest, persistent and heavy. You can feel its roots stirring, working its way beneath the surface, threatening to loosen the earth that keeps you grounded.

A few more steps in silence. Then, quietly, “Do you think we’re boring?”

“Boring?” Spencer tilts his head slightly. “Do you think we’re boring?”

You hesitate, suddenly self-conscious. “I don’t think we’re boring, but you know, we don’t do much.”

“We’re in the FBI, honey. I’d argue we do a lot.” He smirks, the corner of his mouth twitching playfully. You try to laugh, but it comes out forced, brittle—like a flower trying to push out a bloom that's not quite ready yet.

Spencer notices, as he always does. “Is there something you want to do?” It stirs in you again, something tender and uncertain. You don’t know if it will be a flower that blooms or a weed that chokes out everything else.

“No,” You say a little too quickly, “Nothing really, just... Other than work and home—”

“What’d she say?”

“Hm?”

“You love work, you live for it—I practically have to drag you out of the office most days,” he reasons, tone calm and steady. “And, if this is something that was bothering you… I’d have known. So it must’ve been something she said.” You stop walking, the words catching in your throat. It bothers you—how her vines have crept into your garden, straight through to the soil beneath. Flowers rarely thrive in foreign soil, you think.

“Not really,” you lie, biting your lip—a tell Spencer surely catches. “We just talked about the engagement. Well, she talked.”

He doesn’t press, though you can tell he doesn’t believe you. His gaze lingers, but he chooses to give you space. “How was it? The engagement.”

“Something about a yacht,” you reply with a shrug.

“I thought she was afraid of water.”

“Not when it’s on a million-dollar vessel, apparently.”

Spencer chuckles. You continue to walk. Your feet do their best to trace the familiar trail, trying to find the garden path that takes you home. Left. Right. Left. Right. But your thoughts snag, tripping on an unseen vine, and you stumble.

“Do you ever think about it?” you ask.

“About what?”

“Like... if we ever get married and stuff.”

Now it’s Spencer’s turn to stop mid-step, rooted to the spot, his body going still. You freeze too, breath trapped in your chest, a flush spreading across your cheeks. “I’m sorry,” you rush to say, the guilt sharp and immediate. “That was silly, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

You tug softly on his hand trying to pull him forward, but he doesn’t budge. His brows knit together as his gaze locks with yours.

“When.”

“When what?”

“You said if. I’m saying when. When we get married.”

“When we get married?” you repeat, your voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking any louder might shatter the moment.

“Yeah,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “When. Not if. I don’t think really of it as a hypothetical possibility.”

Your chest tightens and you don’t know exactly what to say, but your fingers instinctively tighten around his. Spencer senses your silence and rushes to fill the space.

“Do you… not think that?” he asks, a hint of uncertainty creeping into his voice.

“I do! Of course, I do.” Your voice falters. “I just… I didn’t know you thought about it that way too.”

Spencer hums, soft smile on his face. “I know I tend to look at things in terms of statistics, probabilities—But us? There’s no ‘ifs’. Not with you, honey. Never with you.”

And just like that, the earth beneath you shifts, breaking apart to reveal a bud. Not a flower but a fruit-bearing tree. You try and fight the urge to throw yourself into his arms and kiss him, but he’s already leaning in, his lips warm and familiar against yours. As you pull back, eyes locked, you think back to the pebbles you used to collect. Your tiny, perfect trophies—Spencer’s eyes are far better, you think.

“You smell like burrito,” he teases. You laugh, the sound light and easy. “You love burritos.”

He brushes a stray curl from your forehead. “I love you.”

Through the clearing, you see it. The vines have receded, the rain has come and gone. Your feet step off the garden path with certainty. It’s safe now. It’s here.

“So,” you say with renewed excitement, your steps light as you glance at him, “Beach wedding?”

Spencer wrinkles his nose. “Do you have any idea how much fecal bacteria there is in beach sand?”

“Blegh.”

“No, seriously. Beach sand has 10 to 100 times more fecal bacteria than seawater.”

“How about we don’t throw around the word ‘fecal’ when my burrito is still working its way through me,” you reply, grimacing. “What’s your genius idea then?”

He grins. “Barn wedding?”

“Spence, I love you, and I know you’ve always wanted to be a cowboy, but I’m not walking down the aisle with hay in my hair.”

He laughs, shaking his head as you walk side by side, hands swaying between you. Spencer spots a perennial growing out of concrete cracks by the lamppost 2 steps ahead of you.

“What about a garden wedding? In spring?”

“A garden wedding,” you say, a soft smile spreading across your face, “Yeah, I’d really like that, spring’s nice.”

"Okay,” he says, hand warm in yours, “in spring then."

There’s no towering oak tree, ancient and steadfast, to mark this moment, no circle of wildflowers dancing wildly around with their colours. But still the perennial pushes its way through the cracks in the concrete—small, steady, and undeniably alive. It’s there. It’s growing.

They used to say love was like a garden. When his drought comes, silent but devastating nonetheless, you quench it with your rain—soft, temperamental. And when your rain changes her tide, thrashing and wild, he shelters you beneath his leaves, vast and unyielding. Together you prune the dead parts, plant anew, and marvel at what thrives.

The next time someone asks you how things are going, there’s no pursed smile or hesitant pause, distant in thought. You just smile and say it's going. It's going alright. It's going great. It’s going fine.

Because all that matters is that it's going.

Your garden is growing.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hi if you're here! thank you for reading! feel free to like or reblog or comment or reply!

ᯓ★ song recs if you feel like it: nothing by bruno major love letter from the sea to the shore by delaney bailey

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer x reader #spencer x self insert #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid x bau!reader

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twisted-wonderland-but-gayer · 4 months ago

Note

Hey I was wondering would it be possible to do the dorm leaders with an s/o that suffers from Essential tremor.

And Essential Tremors is a nervous system condition, also known as a neurological condition, that causes involuntary and rhythmic shaking. It can affect almost any part of the body, but the trembling occurs most often in the hands, especially when doing simple tasks, such as drinking from a glass or tying shoelaces.

I have it and I was just wondering how they would deal or help with it

Disabled Yuu

I actually know a bit abt this but I did keep it vague as I don't have it myself. I also hope to do more disabled ayuus fr. I made Yuu assertive and exasperated in some parts– like Honestly if ur being an ass or demanding info abt someone's disability you have full right to return the energy.

I avoided the whole fixing thing in this too– though Azul’s part does bring it up. Platonic as I focused more on the hand aspect. Azul is Pre Overblot!! Hence why hes 2x as sleazy. I didn't Malleus cause it came out corny af. Also this is old and I wrote this on no sleep. Sorry this took so long I have like 70 reqs. Enjoy.

***

Riddle

Since the first Unbirthday party you shared with Heartstabyul he got educated very quickly on the subject. He sees you shakily bring a cup to your lips and guiltily assumes it was because of his overblot. He doesn't blame you, I mean come on, he tried to kill you after all. It was then you explained to him your condition

Since then, he actually read up on it in his own time. He's honestly one of your biggest supporters– though you do need to remind him at times you don't need coddling. Still, you can appreciate it…

“Prefect.” You pause and turn your attention to the housewarden beside you. “Your tie is unkempt today. Will you allow me to fix it?” He asks thoughtfully, not wanting to intrude or risk coming off as rude.

“Ah, can you really? I'd appreciate it.” You presented your neck to Riddle, allowing him to reach over and adjust for you. His gaze was focused as he untied it, re-wrapping it with perfection as if it were second nature. Given his upbringing, you don't doubt it is.

“Thank you by the way, today I just didn't have the energy to deal with it.” When he's finished you pull away and nod at him. “Of course. Should you ever need help with anything in the future let me know. I'll be glad to help.”

Leona

Leona doesn't notice and doesn't really care. It's only when you share a room with him where he sees it, watching you tremble from where you lay. You have a blanket and the dorm is warm. Why are you shaking?

“Look at you trembling in the lion's den. Do I scare you that much?” He quirked an uninterested brow at you as you turned your head to him.

“... It's a neurological condition…” You spoke bluntly, hoping that would be the end of it. “So it causes you to tremble like this?”

“Yeah pretty much.” Leona merely hummed, and the subject dropped. No invasive questions. No taunts. No pity.

He's not mothering you or bending over backwards in the future and don't expect him to. It's clear you've been able to handle yourself well enough. Still, he takes it into consideration. He'll bite his tongue when you take a bit longer to do things.

You don't need to be babied, but when he sees you struggling to open a wrapper of some sort of a candy he offers his hand “Give it here. I'll help you out” You wordlessly handed over the candy and watched him slice through it with the claw on his thumb.

“Tch. You make me do too much…” It's an insincere remark as he hands off the candy bar and continues on his way.

Azul

“... I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly Azul, can you repeat what You said?”

“Cant believe your ears?” Azul wore a smirk as he put a hand on his chest, speaking once more with his confident tone. “The Mostro Lounge has quite a special deal just for you, dear Prefect! A special cure to your ailmen–”

“That's what I thought you said.” Azul paused for a moment taking in your annoyed tone. Did he miscalculate? “Something the matter Prefect–”

“Azul.” You now looked at him with a cold glare, clearly pissed. Azul swallowed, steeling his anxiety behind his businessman persona though the slight widening of his eyes gave away some of his true emotions. “... Yes, Prefect?”

“Why the fuck do you think saying that is okay?” You couldn't tell right now if your hands were trembling from your condition or rage. “Are you dense?” you ask, voice harsher.

“N-no, Prefect. I'm sorry if anything I said has caused you offense…” The deepened glare silenced him. “Think for a moment the implications of you wanting to cure me, and even if I did accept then what? You'd seriously hold something as sensitive as this over my head? Would you even be able to cure it long term?”

How badly you wanted to tear him a new one and let him have it, insults resting on your tongue. Instead, you sighed, exhausted from this conversation already. It wasn't worth your time.

“I'm not some ‘charity’ case though I doubt you know the meaning of the word. I don't need your ‘cures’. Just… leave me alone from now on. Don't talk to me, don't approach me.” you turned away and sped off, more frustrated than ever.

It would take until after his overblot for an apology.

Kalim

Oh Kalim… he really does mean well but…

“And this spoon is designed for shaky hands!”

“I don't need…”

“And these are silk ribbons you wrap them with!”

“Thank you but–”

“And these magical devices are to help check blood pressure–”

“Kalim.”

Kalim blinked and tilted his head, still in the middle of putting the excessive amount of gifts into your hands “Ah?” He blinked for a moment. “Ohhh I know that tone, that's the same one Jamil uses when he tells me I go overboard…”

Kalim's brows knit together and he rubs his head through his white hair. “Did I go overboard again?” He's so genuine it's hard to be mad at him.

“... A little. Hey‐” You hold Kalim's face and pat him on the head. “Thank you though. It's very sweet of you to look out for me, but… I don't need all of these things. I'll be alright okay?”

“Oh! Okay! Well if you ever need anything I'm here!” Kalim pumps his fist then turns to the massive pile of boxes behind him. “So um… what should I do with these…?”

"Donate them maybe?”

Vil

Another example of doesn't really care. He inquired about it once, asked some polite questions and left it at that. There's no need for him to bother you.

When the VCD tournament comes around and he spends more time with you, he takes note of how it affects you. Many expect him to make comments or give you products to take care of your hands more, and he does, however he would have done that regardless of your condition.

Your disability doesn't define you and you're capable on your own. You don't need an able-bodied outsider to tell you what to do or how to feel. A really good ally.

As he collects all the data on how your condition affects you specially, he's able to give you some welcome help.

“This potion is good at helping with seizures, but it can also help with your Tremors. I will show you how to make it.”

Idia

“So your hands can't stay still? Oof, bad RNG.” He immediately realizes he used video game terms out loud and dies just a bit.

Really it's only Ortho that inquires about it. Your body's not any of Idia's business so why should he care? After all, how many times has he seen you irl? Yeah lol, he's cool. He barely knows you aside from a few random encounters on a bad roll.

However Ortho cares. He cares a lot. And he's always trying to find ways to potentially help or cure you. Idia watches his little brother researching every book he can find on your condition and sighs.

“There's no cure right now Ortho. now even magic. Besides that's Yuu’s choice, isn't it?” He shrugs and looks off to the side apathetically.

Sad beeps come from the humanoid. “Yeah I know that… I think I upset them but I didn't mean to…” The child's mournful expression suddenly perks up.

“But! I'm not trying to do that! I'm researching the best way to make a game controller!”

“A game controller? Isn't that pretty easy?”

“Well yes but…” Ortho pauses, reflecting on his earlier conversation. “I asked Yuu if they enjoyed any video games and they said that they do. However, it's hard to play certain games because of their hands. So!”

Ortho shows Idia the 3d model he sculpted in his program. “I'm working on one that will work for them.”

“Working on one that works for them…” Idia looked to the side. He couldn't imagine a world without video games… and he doesn't have much to do… and he supposed the Prefect is okay…

“Send the file to me. I'll get to printing it.”

#twst × reader #twisted wonderland x reader #disabled yuu #leona kingsholar x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #idia shroud x reader #kalim al asim x reader #brixuen2008

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mayrose713 · 3 months ago

Text

Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 4

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

This chapter is a bit longer so I hope you all like it. I'll admit did write a lot of this while I was at work lol

Chapter 4

“Sorry you had to wait for so long in our office during the meeting.” Changbin apologizes again as they sit in the waiting area of the doctors office.

“It’s okay, I didn’t mind.” She smiles at him while she’s filling out the paperwork given to her by the receptionist.

Chan can’t help but to glance down at it as she writes the answers to each of the medical questions.

The normal of her date of birth, which he now knows she’s younger than Jeongin by a few months. When she presented which was when she was seventeen, a late presenter, not unheard of but uncommon. Any medical surgeries, she had her tonsils taken out as an infant.

He feels guilty for looking at her answers for the female section but he reassures himself that it’s because he wants to know if she’ll need anything while she’s with them. Her last menstrual cycle having been the week prior so he won’t have to worry about making sure she has those products. That would have been an embarrassing call to Hannah for help with that.

When she gets to the omega portion he frowns as she hesitates with the answers. Her last heat cycle… was when she presented? Chan knows that omegas have two heats a year at first starting out, a few years after presenting it becomes three. He thought that maybe he’d have to worry about her having not made it to that third one a year yet with her having presented late, but he wasn’t expecting for her to not have had a heat in six years.

“Y/n L/n.” An omega nurse calls for the girl before approaching the three. “Dr. Hajoon is running a little behind so she wants me to go ahead and take you to get your blood drawn so that the lab work can be ready by the time she’s ready to see you.”

“O-okay.” Y/n stands up obviously nervous and Chan and Changbin both stand too.

“Sorry, there isn’t enough room for both of you to join, but we shouldn’t be too long. I’ll have her back out momentarily.” The nurse explains before starting to lead the way.

Y/n hesitates but follows the nurse after Chan and Changbin both give her a reassuring nod that she’ll be okay. If it weren’t for the nurse being an omega the two alphas probably wouldn’t have let the girl go by herself.

“Bin?” Chan speaks up after the omegas are out of sight behind the doors leading to the back. “Did you happen to look at the paperwork she was filling out?”

Changbin frowns, giving his alpha a confused look. “No? Did you? You know that's an invasion of privacy right?”

“I know.” Chan sighs, closing his eyes. “I just couldn’t help myself, wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything concerning, ya know?”

“And is there?”

Chan pauses for a moment before looking at Changbin. “She wrote down that her last heat was when she had first presented, about six years ago.”

“What? How is that possible?” Changbin sits forward then looks confused when Chan pulls his phone out. “What are you doing?”

“Texting Lix.” The older alpha brings up the betas contact as Changbin scoots over to see what is said.

Channie Alpha♥️ Lixie baby, I need you to do Changbin and I a favor please.

Lixie Baby🩵 Of course, anything

Channie Alpha♥️ I need you to go into the room Y/n’s staying in. And look at her nest that you made for her.

Lixie Baby🩵 Okay? 🤨

What about the nest?

Channie Alpha♥️ Does it look any different from yesterday?

Lixie Baby🩵 It just looks slept in, why?

Channie Alpha♥️ It doesn’t look like she changed it at all? Everything's how you had placed it?

Lixie Baby🩵 No 🥺 everythings exactly how I had done it

Channie Alpha♥️ Thank you baby, that’s all I needed

Lixie Baby🩵 Can I ask why you took her to see Dr. Hajoon?

Channie Alpha♥️ You shouldn’t be stalking our location Lix. Minho just had some concerns he wanted us to get checked out is all. We’ll be home right after, I promise. Love you

Lixie Baby🩵 Love you too 💕

“What does her not changing how Lix made her nest have anything to do with all of this?” Changbin finally asks after Chan puts his phone away.

“When Lucas presented Felix had sent Olivia over to help him understand his omega tendencies.” Chan starts to explain. “The main thing they went over was nesting, it comes naturally to an omega but it’s different for everyone. She had said that the way she nests and the way Felix nests is completely different. So if an omega were to make a nest for another omega, the latter would still change it up a bit to make it more suitable for themselves. The only time it doesn’t happen is a communal nest because normally all of the omegas in the pack would build the nest together.”

“So Y/n’s omegas tendencies should have kicked in and she would have changed up the nest a bit to be more comfortable for her, but she didn’t.” Changbin repeats to make sure he’s understanding correctly as he doesn’t have any omega family members and Chan nods in confirmation. “So that and the lack of a heat for the last six years, how is that possible?”

“The only thing I know that can cause someone to not have a heat is suppressants.” Chan hisses. “But it doesn’t suppress their other omega tendencies. And it’s only until you stop taking the suppressants…”

“Meaning she never stopped taking them?” Changbin nods but then frowns.” Wait, I thought you guys said she didn’t have anything with her besides a car when you found her?”

“Yeah. She didn’t even have shoes. And I think I would have noticed if she grabbed a pill bottle at all.” Chan thinks back to the day before.

“Is she maybe not an omega?”

Chan gave Changbin an are you kidding me look. “Have you not smelled her? She’s an omega.” Then he thinks about what he overheard Minho and Jeongin say. “Though Min said he felt as though her scent isn’t fully there, which makes sense.”

“Is it possible to not be a full omega?” Changbin pounders. “Like how Felix acts like one when he’s a beta. Could it be the opposite with her?”

“I’m not sure.” Chan looks up as he smells Y/n walk back out into the waiting area, her uninjured arm taped from the blood draw. “But we’re gonna need to find out.”

Y/n gives them as much of a convincing smile as she possibly can but they can tell from her scent that she didn’t have a pleasant experience.

“You okay Y/nnie?” Changbin scoots away from Chan so she can sit back down between them.

“Yeah.” She nods and sits down. “Just don’t really like hospitals, especially being alone in one.”

“I’m sorry you had to go back there alone.” Chan places his hand on hers. “I promise we’ll be with you when Dr. Hajoon is ready to see you. She knows that we don’t like letting omegas go alone.”

She nods and takes comfort in knowing that they’ll be joining her in the examination room.

After what felt like an hour but was more like fifteen minutes, a beta doctor with a clipboard of papers walks out and smiles at the three of them.

“Chris, Changbin.” The two stand and hug her before she turns and looks at Y/n. “And this must be the… omega… you told me about, Chris?”

“Yes, this is Y/n.” Chan smiles, placing a hand on the small of her back, all of them having taken notice of her hesitance to say her sub-gender. “Thank you so much for getting us in so quickly.”

“It’s no problem.” She turns back to Y/n once again. “It’s nice to meet you Y/n, I’m Dr. Hajoon. Let’s get you back to the examination room, I have your paperwork as well as the notes my nurse wrote down from getting your height and weight before you had your blood drawn. Are you okay with the alpha’s joining us?”

“Y-yeah.” The omega nods. “I would prefer that they do.”

“I had assumed so.” Hajoon nods and leads the three of them through the doors to the back.

Once in the room Chan helps Y/n up on the examination table before sitting with Changbin in the seats and Hajoon grabs the stool while looking over the paperwork with a frown.

“Alright, based on your paperwork I do have a few concerns but that is stuff that can wait until the end when we’re just discussing everything else and going over your blood work.” She starts off and sanitizes her hands before grabbing gloves. “I’m more worried about the wounds Chris told me about, can I take a look?”

Y/n rolls the sleeve up of the shirt she borrowed from Hannah’s closet to show the bruising on her wrist and the bandage on her upper arm.

“Was it Minho who patched you up?” Hajoon smirks when the omega nods yes. “I figured, he’s the caretaker type.”

Changbin snorts. “Don’t let Min hear you say that.”

The beta peels the bandage off her arm revealing more bruising and a deep gash. She inspects it, cleaning it a bit causing Y/n to hiss in pain a little. The two alphas shift in their seats wanting to protect the omega but knows the doctor is just doing what she needs.

“Luckily it isn’t too deep. It looks like Minho did well in cleaning it but I’m seeing some early signs of infection, something he wouldn’t have been able to recognize.” Hajoon explains and rubs a topical ointment before bandaging it back up. “I’m gonna prescribe an ointment and antibiotics to take until it’s healed. As well as a bruise relief cream.”

“Thank you.” Y/n whispers.

“Chris had also mentioned bruising on your side and possible broken ribs?”

“Yeah, that was Minho's main concern.” Chan speaks up again. “He wrapped her torso to help relieve any pain she may be in but we need to know if anything’s broken.”

“Do you mind taking your shirt off?” The doctor asks and notices the girl's hesitancy. “If you want we can shut the curtain.”

“It’s okay.” Y/n whispers and lifts up her shirt taking it off.

Hajoon starts unwrapping her torso and it’s when she hears both Chan and Changbin growl that she knows the bruising is visible for all. She has the omega lay down on her back so she can feel her ribs for any breaks which causes the omega to hiss at some of the more sensitive bruising.

“I don’t think you have any broken ribs.” The doctor explains. “Does it hurt at all to breathe?”

“No.” Y/n hisses again as the doctor touches another tinder spot. “But the prodding and poking does.”

“Sorry.” The beta moves away from the table. “You can go ahead and put your shirt back on. But I do have to ask how these injuries happened?”

“I fell down a flight of stairs.” Y/n doesn’t make eye contact with anyone as she shrugs her shirt back okay.

“Hmm… before Chris and the betas found you, where were you living? Did you have a pack?”

“I was still living with my family pack.” This saddens Chan, thinking that her family might have done this to her.

“Another question I just have to ask as a part of my normal spiel. Do you feel safe?”

“Yeah.” The omega nods. “I do now at least.”

Dr. Hajoon’s smartwatch goes off and she looks at it before turning to the computer in the room. “Your blood work came back so we can discuss the other concerns I have about your weight and lack of a heat.”

Y/n glances at the two alphas to see their reactions but their expressions are neutral.

The beta’s looks over the lab results and sighs before giving the omega a sad look.

“Did you know what it was?” Y/n gives a sad nod yes. “Did you get them done willingly?”

“My family forced me.” She mumbles playing with her hands.

“Forced what?” Chan cut’s in, sitting forward in the chair looking pissed.

Hajoon puts her hand up towards Chan as she continues looking at Y/n. “Besides your heats and scent, what else did it affect? And how often did you get them?”

“All of my omega tendencies.” She bows her head. “Every month since after my first heat.”

Chan grits his teeth not liking the sound of this conversation as he doesn’t fully know what's going on.

“Is it okay if I tell your alphas about it? That is if they promise not to lash out.” She eyes the two males until Y/n nods her head yes and waits for Chan and Changbin to also agree and once they do she sighs.

“Her blood work came back positive for a suppressant injection. It isn’t like normal pill suppressants that can help postpone a heat, or a scent suppressor, it suppresses everything omega about her and even her appetite, why she’s underweight too. Why my nurse and I both were confused by her scent at first, we both smell a beta from her. These injections aren’t illegal but most refuse to practice with it because of the severity. It normally lasts up to thirty to forty days before needing another injection.”

“How do we smell her like an omega then?” Changbin speaks as Chan’s trying to keep calm.

“The only way for anyone to smell a person's true sub-gender through a suppressant is if they are their fated mate.” Chan and Changbin’s jaws both drop. “You guys wouldn’t know you were fated mates though because of the suppressant, your alpha’s aren’t fully smelling her to tell you like normal. To you guys it seems as though her scent isn’t fully there.”

Chan and Chanbin both look at Y/n in awe now.

“So what do we need to do about the last injection she was given?” Chan leans forward and grabs Y/n’s hand to both help comfort her for what's about to be said and keep him from lashing out.

“Her blood work shows little traces of it, meaning it’s almost out of her system.” Hajoon looks back at the computer. “I would say in a few days her omega tendencies will start to return and she should restart her heat cycle. Though this first one will be a dry heat.”

“Dry heat?”

“A dry heat is when the body is not ready to reproduce or prepare for reproduction. Occurs when the omega is in a bad physical condition, mental state, or environment. When Omegas are in unsafe environments, examples; physical, mental, or emotional abuse, no pack bonds or mate, unfamiliar location, lots of stress or anxiety, which from what I can guess is a lot of what she’s been put through plus the suppressant, it’s bound to happen. It’s usually painful. Alters the body and shuts down all biological functions involved in reproduction and is not healthy but unavoidable this time. Dry heats can last anywhere from two to seven days. You guys will need to do a lot to help her during it. Take her to her nest or den. Do NOT leave her alone. Keep her hydrated, fed, and someone needs to maintain physical contact at all times. If the dry heat worsens, take her to the nearest hospital. Symptoms of it are haziness, cramps, separation anxiety, headaches, fearfulness, high emotions or extremely emotionless, distressed scent. I’ll have it all written down for you guys.”

“And… and what if I don’t have a dry heat, or any heat?” The omega fears.

“If you don’t go through one within a week, come back and we’ll try and figure out what's going on.” She reassures her as she types on the computer. “I’m sending in your prescriptions as well as setting you up with a therapist and psychologist. With what you’ve been through maybe we can get you on medication that can help with your mental health. They’re located in the same office as the two Jisung sees so I’ll see about getting you in at the same time as his so you both can just go together.”

“Thank you again for everything.” Chan stands up still holding the omega’s hand and helps her off the table.

“Anytime Chris, I’m always just a call away if you guys need anything.” She hands Changbin the papers with all the information they need. “Keep me updated.”

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this series

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sordidmusings · 4 months ago

Text

Drown in You (Sanji x Reader)

Art by tsuyomaru

Prologue: It is no secret to the crew that you know soul magic. Robin was the first to understand what you were talking about - it is, after all, a practice from a far off island whose resident have all but vanished. While she would ask you actually engaging questions, almost all the others are just begging you to use it, but you refuse to budge and show them. You tell them about it though, wistfully and reverently. At first, Sanji would beg and wax poetic about it the most of all, but as you grow closer he learns to just listen. With your deepening trust and his lack of pushing, you decide it’s time to give him a taste of the heady bliss of brushing souls.

A/N: Getting this up quick before getting back to asks 👏🏻 This was written for me to practice using my magic stuff instead of just thinking about it lol I use it constantly in daydreams so why not try to actually get it down and see if others like it too 🤷🏼‍♀️ as far as this fic goes, visualization is used to control the energy of the soul then have it flow over Sanji then all his happy chemicals go ~W O W~

Word Count: ~3.8 k

Warnings: gn reader, just so much non-sexual intimacy, ✨magic✨, flirting, pet names (all gn), Sanji being down bad, reader finding it cute, it’s more opla down bad not anime down bad in this one, besides that I think he could be read as either

Hope you enjoy guiding Sanji through feeling a soul the first time 🤍🤍🤍

Suggested Music:

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

“If you relax it will help,” you instructed.

Sanji was trying his best to relax but how could he? He had seen how dreamily you talked of your experiences with this, of how comforting and relaxing and intimate it felt. After somehow convincing his way into receiving the touch from you, he was ecstatic. Then the reality of it - of how vulnerable it would leave him - started to sink in and anxiety began to taint his excitement.

You laid a hand on top of his, stopping his fingers from tapping at his thigh. You didn’t have to reach far to touch him; both of you were sitting cross-legged on the floor, so close that your knees touched.

“Really, don’t worry,” you soothed. “We’re only brushing so you can get used to the feeling, yeah? It’ll be a lot at first, but nothing entangling or invasive. And we stop if anything’s too much.”

Sanji’s shining blue eyes took their time examining your own before turning to the floor. He hoped that looking at anything else would help him think; whenever your eyes met, his mind went blank. The patterns in the blanket separating you both from the sleeping mat didn’t help him find his words. Neither did the pillows and extra blankets encircling your seats. As you started to pull away, he felt your soft skin trail against the back of his hand and suddenly the words came.

“It’s okay, I’m fine,” Sanji rushed out. It took only a second for him to adjust back to flirtation. “Just got tongue-tied looking at you.”

You giggled at the cheesy line and how flustered he was. His practiced silver tongue didn’t seem to be helping him at the moment, which was probably making him even more nervous. You took mercy on him by not pointing it out.

Instead, you offered him your other hand and he quickly slid his into your upturned palm. He settled it so that your palms nestled into each other, giving you perfect access to run your thumb back and forth over the inside of his wrist. Sanji responds with a gentle squeeze. You pull your other hand away to resituate your hand-holding on that side to mirror the other. Sanji looked between both embraces with a soft affection that had your heart skittering. A deep breath helped steer you back on task.

“Okay. If we sync our breathing it will help the whole process and keep everything moving nice and slow,” you explained. Sanji gave you a short nod and a shaky smile. “Watch me and follow.”

You started by breathing through your nose until you felt the air refresh every corner of your lungs. Sanji held your gaze and followed the action a split second after he heard the soft sound of your inhale start. You held that air for just a moment before gently pursing your lips and slowly blowing the air through them. His eyes shot down to watch your lips and his breath left him in a short quiet sigh. The gentle breeze you blew out brushed the back of his hands. You started your next inhale fast to exaggerate the sound and it snapped him out of his trance. He smiled in apology, squinting those shiny baby blues of his, and got right back to following you.

The feeling of your lungs stretching out your ribs, and the pressure of the exiting air tingling your lips, was soothing your mind and body. The effect grew with the sounds of your own controlled breathing and amplified with Sanji’s mimicry until there was a pleasant murkiness to the edges of your thought. Judging by how hooded Sanji’s eyes had become, he was feeling it too. Time to start.

“Now keep your hands in mine, it may feel destabilizing if you pull away suddenly,” you gently warned, voice quiet in your unwillingness to disrupt the tranquil air.

“Comforting,” Sanji responded, scrunching his nose. He resettled his expression to the flirtatious one you were much more familiar with. “Promise to nurse me back to health if anything goes wrong?”

“How else am I supposed to get my favorite treats if you’re out of commission?” you teased.

“Say that you’re mine and I’ll give you all the treats the world has to offer,” he promised, earning an enabling chuckle out of you.

“Well, we’ll see if you can handle that,” you said, voice affectionate instead of condescending. “Now less talking, more breathing. I’m going to start and I want you to save your words for anything feeling uncomfortable.”

At his nod, you began.

Sanji watched with curiosity as you closed your eyes and stopped all motion except for your breathing. He thought you looked absolutely radiant sitting in the warm afternoon light cast through the porthole, drenched in bottomless peace. Matching your breath became second nature surprisingly quick, making his mind free to absorb every beloved detail of you sharing this with him and to charge with anticipation for your next move.

He felt but he did not see - no matter how hard he stared at the feeling manifesting on his skin, whatever was moving there stayed invisible to him. It started with your hands radiating warmth out, growing so gradually that he didn’t notice until it felt like his hands were shoved in laundry fresh from the dryer. The heat held steady for a moment, turning his grip lax as it melted any tension, before he felt the sensation change and grow up his arms. It felt both liquid and air against his skin; a summer breeze that swirled and toiled like an ocean current. A shiver crept up his spine, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Each place the sensation curled and puffed across was stuck between enlivening with an electric flush and sinking into the heaviness of a body deep in sleep. By the time it was encroaching on his shoulder, bleeding straight through his clothes as if they didn’t exist, his breathing stuttered to something of a gasp.

Your concentration faltered at the sound, offering Sanji a light reprieve as the energy lost its ability to ignore his clothing. You opened your eyes to check in on your companion and gasp too. His eyes were hazy and staring at you like you had given him his first sip of water in days. His blue irises stood out even more above the light blush on his face, even with his love-blown pupils. You flushed at the look, but brushed it off; the first feeling is usually overwhelming and confusing and sets off many happy chemicals to douse the whole brain and body. You thought you hadn’t pushed out too much of your energy on him and it was all soothing and content, but his eyes told you that you had bombarded him with permeating affection. Too bad you couldn’t connect your energy to his to figure out precisely what he was feeling.

“Sanji, honey, talk to me,” you asked quietly, encouragingly. “What are you feeling?”

“I feel…” he started, but he trailed off and simply kept taking you in with his soft eyes. You squeezed his hands and bumped his knee with yours to jostle him a little closer to coherence.

“Sanji, is it bad?” He certainly didn’t look like it felt bad, but too much good can quickly lead that way.

“It’s… strange?” he offered. His brows scrunched from the difficulty he was having conjuring the right words. “Good strange. Breezy. Warm. It’s a lot though.”

“Too much?” you probed, already starting to lighten up the energy.

“No,” Sanji insisted, leaning towards you in his urgency. He caught the surprise in your eyes and forced himself back again. He cleared his throat. “Please.” He exhaled heavily. “Keep going, love.”

“As long as you're sure.” You took a deep breath yourself, needing to settle your own worry back into calm concentration. You gifted yourself a moment to caress his wrist with your thumb again, enjoying how soft the skin felt in comparison to his calloused fingertips. You gave one more warning: “It will peak before you adjust and it settles out.”

You did not wait for a response to continue. Shutting your eyes so sight wouldn’t battle you on your way back to your visualizations, you were back to your task. The way you’ve gotten success in controlling your own soul’s energy was with water imagery. In your mind’s eye, a lake behind your head leaked to the space between your eyes, where it poured down in a roaring waterfall. The majority of the torrent flooded down through your neck, into your ribcage, and along to the cradle of your pelvis. On the way, it bounced and flung off a boulder built of your heart and splashed to make trickles on your ribs, spine, and hips. There was, however, some water that took a different path. The highest rocks it crashed upon rested in your shoulders, making the water spray and rush its way down your arms. Its journey from rapids to stream took place along your forearms to control the flow by the time it reached your hands. There, the water became a gently swirling pool in each palm. By the time this vision had become immaculately clear to you again, Sanji’s grip had firmed back up on you.

Sanji’s nerves had worsened instead of smoothed out, but he'd be damned if he was going to back down from this. He needed to know that feeling you had tried to describe to him and the rest of the crew. And like he had said - it wasn’t bad, but it was.. startling? Unnerving? He knew the feeling was coming from his skin but it almost didn’t feel like it was his own skin; it felt like it was coming from a whole new body. It felt at once thrumming and alive as well as heavy and enveloping. He shut his eyes against the overwhelm.

With your own eyes closed, you had to use the strength and tremble of Sanji’s grip to guide you on when to pause and when to push forward. As you anticipated, the greatest reactions came when the mental water flowing from the pools in your palms up his arms snaked to wrap around his chest and then it inched further down still to dance around his waist and stomach. Through the process, he had shifted himself ever so slightly closer to you, seeking grounding and comfort in the flourish of feeling that threatened to puff his mind into smoke. Noticing his cute nudging closer, your heart burned with fierce affection for him. You had to hold yourself from releasing his hands to pull him into and embrace. That would be too much; he’s too unused to the process and you’re too unpracticed to keep the flow stable through that action.

Finally, you imagine the long journey of the water making its way over his hips and down his thighs to cover the remaining pieces of his body. All except the head. Saving it for last was generally the best idea for someone’s first time feeling the presence of a soul; the heart is where many emotions are held but the brain has the most ties to the soul. It was much better to prep it before the plunge.

“Sanji, are you doing okay? Ready for the last bit?” you checked.

“Anything you’re willing to give, love, I’ll take,” Sanji mumbled. He sounded pleasantly dazed like a drunk existing half in the waking world and half in dreams. You wished you could open your eyes to see him.

“It’s going to rise up over your head and then it should smooth out,” you explained. A lethargic hum resonating from the depths of his chest was his only response.

The conflicting reactions his body was giving to the river of air around him had begun to center slightly by the time you had spoken. All that progress went out the window when he felt little licks of wind flicking at his neck. He trembled under the electricity they buzzed along his spine, but found himself happy to be at their mercy. He felt so very alive and that in itself was stumping him. Had he been alive? Can you live before knowing a touch that feels so implicit after only a small taste? One of the few pieces of his mind that remembered the Before and that there’s an After to this experience was repeating the daunting fact that this is only the beginning of connecting to a soul. How beautifully terrifying.

More brushes of liquid air played off the skin of his neck and he found himself tilting his head back for more of it. The rise was steady, moving past the stubble of his chin, the ears peeking out from his hair, the ends of his bangs, his curled brows, and he was submerged.

For a split second, the impulse to jump to his feet and run until he was unable to move almost overtook him. He was a lit fuze and needed to burst or surely there would be agony. But agony never came. What came was the comfort of a morning bed on a taskless day. He was surrounded by perfectly radiating body heat in a dark cocoon. The unfamiliar aspect was how he felt like he was sitting underwater, weightless and gently rocking at the whims of a constantly swaying current. He distantly thought that if he’d open his eyes he’d find the dark pits of the ocean yawning around him and all he could find in himself to think of such a haunting notion was ‘how nice’.

Meanwhile, you were much more sure of agreeing to go through this whole thing because of how languid Sanji had become. His hands lay mostly limp in yours, except for the occasional movement of a finger to enjoy the feel of your skin. The little affections burst joy in your heart and made that path of water that your mind held flow richer and with more ease. Knowing he’d need at least several long minutes in this stage, you let yourself relax fully into your own meditation built on your rushing blue visions and his delicately moving fingertips. Just as he had learned to mirror your breaths earlier, your hands took to mimicking his own.

Time was a muddy thing from the moment he fell fully under until the moment his body was coming back to the world. It trickled in gradually, starting with the feeling of the blanket and mattress pad he sat on and ending with the brush of his clothes on his skin when he finally shifted. The great abyss around him shrunk back to the initial feeling of twirling winds over his skin. Unlike the initial feeling, this didn’t send his body and mind reeling; it left him warm and relaxed like a decadent hot oil massage. There was still a sense of being enveloped, though. It had him thinking back to the last time he had fallen asleep wrapped in the arms of another. Despite the easy comparison, there was no unsatiated hunger plaguing him from the closeness. He was at ease.

Sanji’s eyes began to blink open once they were ready, and he was glad they did. In front of him you sat as peaceful as he had ever seen you. Once he was able to move his gaze away from the little shadows your lashes cast onto your cheeks or the enchanting curves of your resting lips, he began fully taking you in. Slowly trailing his eyes over every detail, his heart swelled with love until it pressed a placid smile on his lips. The pieces he most wanted to store away in his mind forever were the content look making your face even more beautiful to him and the sight of his hands held so caringly in your own. He let out a happy sigh as he watched your thumbs trace him once more.

“Sanji?” you called softly.

“Yes, dear?”

“How are you feeling?” He almost laughed at your question.

“I feel wonderful,” he breathed out. You could hear the smile shaping his words and were struck with the bare emotion in his statement. He sounded just like he said.

“Perfect. You’ve done beautifully, sweetheart,” you spoke through your own smile. Even with your eyes closed, you could tell he was preening at your praise.

You lightened up your conscious control of your energy flowing around Sanji. It continued on its path with ease, enough that you were able to let the feeling of its circulation sustain itself instead of needing your imagery. The repetition of it over the long time spent meditating helped you to focus in on what your energy feels like. Usually, that was something too abstract for you to be able to call on straight away. It would take hours and hours more in that sensation before your brain could own and control it with ease. For now, you were good enough to latch onto it once it was there long enough so you fully release the envisioned control by blinking your eyes open.

Sanji was already looking at you. He was no longer flushed and fidgety; every roused edge of him had polished out to a serene shine. The smile stuck on his face was delicate, only pulling his lips to curl enough to press into his cheeks and threaten to crinkle his eyes. Those eyes were half-lidded but still glimmering as they looked back at you. You darted your eyes back to his smile, which now exposed a hint of his teeth between his gently parted lips.

“What now, love?” Sanji asked. He was loath to interrupt the moment, but truly needed to know what he was supposed to do now that he had reached the goal of this whole endeavor. Would you just suck the feeling out right away? Would you pull your hands from his? Would you leave him to process this whole thing alone? Leave him to starve for a taste he’d never get again?

You took one last moment to check him over before deciding to be a little self indulgent. Sure, this would help him ease back out to no soul contact more than just sitting there, but it also wasn’t absolutely necessary. You didn’t think he would mind though.

“I think we could both use a lay down and maybe a nap,” you offered, nodding your head to the side to gesture to the head of the sleeping mat. Now his smile split wide enough to scrunch his eyes.

“You’re going to spoil me rotten, love,” he jokingly admonished, already leaning himself in the direction you’d motioned towards. He wasn’t going anywhere fast though; his body felt as heavy and slow and syrupy as his mind did.

Deciding to expose more of your soft spot for him than usual, you respond, “Good. You do enough spoiling to deserve some in return.”

The fondness in your voice let him know that it was true care offered instead of easy flirting. Hearing you send that tone his way had his supporting arm collapse under him, sending him down to his elbow. Were it any other time, he would’ve tried to hide the slip or recover quickly, but it wasn’t any other time and he simply went with it to finish crawling the short distance to the head of the mat. The movement to get to his side was more flopping than laying, but the shift to his back was at least smoother. Those lovely blue eyes fluttered closed and refused to open.

You kept close to him the whole way, smiling and snorting at his lack of grace under the influence of the new and potent headspace brought on by your own energy. Yes, you wanted to be close anyway, but it was functionally to make it easy to keep him within the swirl of your soul. Once he had surrendered to the position his body ended up in, you began adjusting him to make sure he was as comfortable as possible. An arm was saved from its strange angle, his head was raised and placed on a plush pillow, the most luxurious of your blankets was grabbed to place on him. The whole time Sanji was mumbling sweet pet names along with his thanks.

Ever since you had mentioned sleep, Sanji felt it pulling at him. It only got worse when he moved and laid down. He was existing so sweetly in a waking dream, stuck half-lucid in a body that was being tended by your very soul. He thanked whatever lucky stars were up there and shot a “thank you” to whatever past life had earned him this; he didn’t think it could get any better than the bone deep contentment that saturated him.

That was until you laid down next to him and started snuggling into his right side.

The feeling of your warm and soft body shifting into him until you molded perfectly against each other had one more flurry of tingles and skipping heartbeats work through him. Your cheek was nestled against the top of his pec and you were happy to find that the fabric of his dress shirt felt soft against your skin. The arm that laid over him was reached out so that your hand could rest on the shoulder opposite your head. The whispering sound of your skin brushing over the fabric of his pants filled the air as you bent your right leg just enough to nestle in between his. You couldn’t help the deep, contented sigh that left you at the pleasant feeling of his thick thighs cradling one of yours. You had nearly forgotten to pull the blanket up over the two of you with how harshly the drain from concentrating and moving your energy had started to hit you. It didn’t help that Sanji was just as enviously comfortable as he looked.

Sanji drank in every touch you offered with satisfaction and serenity. Every single one seemed to solidify the heaven that wrapped his every sense in comfort and peace. His left hand managed to make its way up and hold the hand you had rested on his shoulder. His right was placed down lovingly on your waist. You mumbled something that could’ve been “sweet dreams” and he mumbled back with just as much clarity.

With your last waking action, you gave him a gentle squeeze then fully relaxed your body into his. Sanji stayed conscious for as long as he could, basking in the feeling of being truly held.

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

No Pressure Taglist: @click-and-flash-pest-captures @gingernut1314 @writingmysanity @hey-august @schoute @feral-artistry @haveatthee83

Masterlist

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hannieehaee · 9 months ago

Note

Congrats on your 5K! I’m not sure if anybody has requested this yet but I’m gonna ask for a classic. (If they have please ignore.)

Seventeen reactions with a virgin reader.

Have a nice day! :)

18+ / mdi

having a virgin s/o

content: established relationship implied, smut, mentions of penetrative sex, reader is a virgin, mentions of losing virginity, etc.

wc: 782

a/n: thank uuu so much!!! surprisingly no one has requested this lol

masterlist

seungcheol -

will only ever voice how much he likes that you're a virgin once you're actually losing your virginity to him lol. will have felt kind of nervous to make your first time perfect, but will be very happy after the fact, knowing he was the only one to ever have you like that.

jeonghan -

coos at you but also teases you over being a virgin, either attempting to patronize you over it (jokingly) or let you know how cute he finds that he's the only one you want in such a way. treats you like royalty when it comes down to actually losing your virginity, speaking to you in that soft voice and guiding you step by step.

joshua -

as charming as he is, i think he'd be super sweet to you about it, always letting you lead any sexual encounters so you could gauge how far you wanted to go. would be so soft and sensitive with you when he finally took your virginity (and wouldve looove the thought of teaching you any and every position).

jun -

for some reason he'd now feel nervous any time he was around you. would stop any makeout session or sexual encounter before it got too steamy bc he wouldnt want you to think he's trying to take advantage. would need you to spell it out for him if you wanted him to take your virginity, and even then he'd be super careful with you.

soonyoung -

finds it adorable more than anything. will tease you about it in a joking way but will honestly just find it cute that you'd retained your sexual innocence for so long. more than willing to guide you and teach you in any area you'd like (the thought turns him on).

wonwoo -

a little bit surprised but that's all. super respectful about it and wont be invasive in asking questions as to why you hadn't lost it. assumes it's a personal choice bc there's no way no one's tried to hit when you're as pretty and likable as you are. he'd be the best person to lose it to since he'd be so attentive and sensual about it (and super turned on but u dont need to know about that).

jihoon -

the moment you told him you were a virgin he'd be unable to think of anything else. on one side he'd feel immense pressure at the thought of taking your virginity (having assumed you were experienced already) and on the other, it'd turn him on to think that he'd be your one and only experience.

seokmin -

seems the type to see sex as an extremely intimate thing u only save for those u love so he'd be ecstatic to know u hadn't found that person yet. twice as ecstatic in realizing you saw him as the one person you loved and trusted enough to give your virginity to.

mingyu -

teases you about it a lot up until the point it turns out you want him to take it from you. will be super turned on by it but will try to hide it (and do a very bad job at it), not wanting to come off as a perv or anything. he'll fall in love with guiding and teaching you, heart (and dick) fed by the thought of being the only one to ever have you like this.

minghao -

feels a little guilty about how much he likes that you're a virgin, so he never outwardly expresses how badly it turns him on that he'll be your first (and hopefully your last).

seungkwan -

he thinks its adorable lol. might tease you about it a teeny tiny bit but not too much since he also thinks its cute how you're inexperienced in that area. prays to any external forces that you'll pick him to be the lucky guy to take your virginity (and is overwhelmed when you actually do want to lose it to him).

vernon -

very nonchalant about it. maybe a bit surprised since he finds you so attractive it makes no sense to him that no one would've already gotten on their knees and begged to have you in such a way. would be super sweet about it, though. maybe would calk you a virgin in a joking way lol.

chan -

he gives me the vibe of a romantic so i think he'd find it really cute and think its a 'meant to be' type of situation where he came along just at the right time to be able to be the one you gave your virginity to. would do the whole candles and rose petals on the bed the day you decided to finally do it.

#seventeen x reader #seventeen fanfic #svt fanfic #svt x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen #seventeen oneshot #svt #seventeen smut #svt smut #svt oneshot #svt scenarios #svt imagines #svt reactions #seventeen reactions

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daistea · 9 months ago

Text

𝙼𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚞𝚗 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚁𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

gn!reader

word count: 3,000 :o !

Mild Spoilers! Sfw-ish

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

What Do The Canaries Think?

Before you can date Mithrun, you must first defeat his five evil exes. (The Canaries.)

Depending on your background, Pattadol may either be suspicious of you or happy that you’re with the Captain. If you have her trust, she’s generally quite supportive. She cares for Mithrun like how a fresh out of highschool over-achieving kid that just got a job at the local dumpy gas station cares for their chain-smoking 40 year old manager that handles all the rude customers. That is, not quite a big brother, but not quite simply a coworker. Pattadol is one of the first to recognize Mithrun’s feelings for you. She generally stays out of his business, though, and is your savior when it comes to dealing with the other Canaries. Defeat her with the power of kindness and sensibility. Or not. She’ll respect Mithrun’s decision no matter what.

Cithis does not like you, not unless you do something to earn her respect. It’s not personal, she just sees you as a nuisance, a fly buzzing around the Captain's head; except he’s decided to keep the fly as a pet for some reason. She’s the first to notice Mithrun’s feelings and it honestly surprises her. On occasion, she’ll whisper horrible little things about you to Mithrun in an attempt to irritate him— things like “Oh look, they’re smiling so sweetly at someone else. Doesn’t that drive you mad?” Mithrun doesn’t react, simply casting her a glance. “No, it doesn’t,” he says. Cithis gives him a look and his good eye flickers away in thought. “A bit,” he corrects himself. She doesn’t push him too far, though. She will try to establish her dominance over you. Defeat her with the power of stubbornness and determination.

Fleki doesn’t care. She will make fun of both you and Mithrun and ask a lot of invasive, embarrassing personal questions just for funsies. Mithrun doesn’t mind the questions at all, but if they make you uncomfortable then he’ll tell her to stop. She thinks it's funny to interrupt your alone time and be a third wheel. However, if anyone criticizes you or your relationship, she’s one of the first to defend you. Defeat her with the power of a sense of humor and maybe drugs or an interesting toy to distract her.

Lycion does not like you. It is personal. He’s simply protective and jealous. It’ll take him a while to warm up to the idea of you and the Captain being together, no matter what you do. Just give him time. He won’t go so far as to try and break you up, but you’ll notice him sometimes watching you coolly, his face calm but his eyes analytical, observing your every move. Beneath that stare, you feel like a rabbit being stalked by a wolf. Once he warms up to you, he joins Fleki in asking invasive questions. You almost wish he still disliked you… Defeat him with the power of patience and a thick skin.

Otta doesn’t care either. If you’re part of a short-lived race, she’ll have slight affection for you and be the most understanding about your relationship with Mithrun— if you die years before Mithrun, Otta is the one who supports and pities him, rather than just being confused as to why he falls apart afterwards like the others are. If you’re long-lived, she doesn’t care about your relationship as much, it isn’t nearly as interesting to her then. Otta does not need to be defeated.

You’ve defeated the Canaries! What awaits you now?

Mithrun has been in relationships before, but not in the last forty-ish years. Not since The Incident. Before The Incident he was quite charming, a little careless, and kind of a bad boyfriend. He had so many red flags. He hid them well, though, and nobody really got close enough for him to feel comfortable dropping his facade, so the red flags generally stayed hidden. Toxic bf Mithrun was real.

He’s been in relationships. He’s slept with people. He thinks he knows what to do and for the first time in forever, he considers doing those things again. With you. The feeling may be a bit dim and uncomfortable for him, something that must be cultivated, but post-ending Mithrun isn’t about to ignore it.

Pre-ending Mithrun is a bit more stubborn, though. Most think he doesn’t feel anything, but he does. He feels empathy for dungeon lords, he can be surprised, he can be irritated, he can be desperate when it comes to his goals. Most emotions are dimmed, though, and it would take him a while to recognize what’s happening when he starts falling in love. And when he does recognize it, it kind of irritates him. It’s a distraction. It’s useless to him. But he doesn’t really do anything about it, if you want to cozy up to him then go ahead, just don’t get your hopes up. He will react physically, though, such as tensing when you touch him, grabbing you to pull you out of the way of danger, sometimes his stomach churns when you smile… He has no desire to question those things.

Can you romance pre-ending Mithrun? Yes and no. Don’t expect much. Are your feelings requited? Yes and no. Don’t expect much. Can you get physical? Sometimes. Don’t expect much.

Post-ending Mithrun is more willing to explore these feelings. The demon is dead, he’s… trying to live. He honestly planned to simply waste away once the demon was defeated— and that wouldn’t have even been satisfying, either, because killing the demon wasn’t his true desire. Now, he’s working on his view of himself and his existence. His desires aren’t going to just magically reappear in him, it will take a lot of work and patience. When a desire for you starts to grow, he closely examines it, curious. What is it about you that attracts him? It starts out in a cavalier manner, this new desire is simply there and he’s not going to do much about it. Then it starts to fester. Mithrun starts noticing more things about you, little stuff that he never would’ve bothered to see before. He starts taking note of how he physically reacts to your touch and presence. He may not have the desire to do things like eat or sleep, but he still experiences the physical repercussions of those things— collapsing from exhaustion, a growling stomach. It’s the same with your touch. A skip of his heart, heat in his stomach, his gaze lingering on you whenever you’re near.

The desire grows and becomes undeniable. That’s when Mithrun starts to get a bit more emotional, a bit more desperate, a bit possessive. When he develops a desire for something, he digs his claws in and refuses to let go.

It gets to the point where he just inserts himself into your life. He does it subtly and casually, without any passion or performance or drama. He’s just… there one day. How did his clothes get in your drawer? Don’t worry about it.

Mithrun thinks he knows what to do in a relationship since he was in a few before the dungeon. Except, he was a selfish, emotionally-closed off boyfriend. Fortunately, he doesn’t really have the desire to take the steps he used to take in relationships. He knows he should probably take you on dates, flirt with you, do the whole confession thing…

He does not do those things.

Not normally, at least. Mithrun simply figures that if you wanted a typical relationship, you wouldn’t be interested in a person like him. So he’s going to just do what he wants.

What does he want, though? He doesn’t really want much of anything but you and maybe a few other little desires he’s cultivated. But in order to have you, he has to do things. What things? It suddenly hits him that no matter how much experience he had with relationships before the dungeon, things are different now and he’s basically starting over in that area.

Mithrun decides to just simply do what feels right.

His method of flirtation? Staring at you. Subtly touching you. Grabbing your wrist or waist and suddenly teleporting you both somewhere more private even though he knows you hate it when he teleports you without warning.

Dates with Mithrun? Doing errands together. Him inviting you to his house and listening to you talk.

A confession? No. You can ask Mithrun what you are, if you want, and he’ll say, “We’re in a relationship. Did you not notice?” He doesn’t even flinch. How long have you been dating? Neither of you really know.

If you never ask what you two are, he’s never going to say anything unless the situation calls for it. You might find out randomly one day when he’s talking to a merchant and says, “I’ll buy this for my partner.”

"Who's your partner?" You ask.

Mithrun simply looks at you. He's thinking something but you can't quite tell what yet. Finally, he raises a brow, "You. Obviously."

Obviously.

Imagine that you have no clue you’ve been dating for years and one day he just slips a ring on your finger and tells you that the wedding is next weekend.

Mithrun doesn’t have as many red flags as he used to, but there’s still a few. He can be a bit unsupportive sometimes. He can be apathetic. And possessive.

His possessiveness is subtle and only really kicks in once he’s deeply in love. You’re only in Melini temporarily and have to return home? Oops your boat was destroyed, there’s chairs stuck in walls and planks hanging from the ceiling. You got another boat? Oops that one’s been mysteriously destroyed too. Another boat? Oops—

“Are you destroying my boats?” You ask. Mithrun doesn’t even glance up from his book when he answers, “Yep.”

“Stop doing that.”

He finally looks up, his face blank as he meets your eyes. “No.”

He’ll stop if you insist but he’s going to be grumpy about it.

Mithrun trusts you, his possessiveness doesn’t come from a place of insecurity. He’s just finally found a desire, another reason to keep living, and he’s not going to let go of that.

Yet, he's never really outwardly jealous. He doesn't make a scene. He doesn't start fights. But the person flirting with you feels this presence... like eyes on the back of their neck... like danger lurking from the shadows... They turn around and Mithrun is just standing there with his arms crossed.

He likes to teleport people away from you. Pattadol has asked him to stop because it's scaring the people of Melini. He just does it more subtly then.

Generally, a relationship with Mithrun is understated. Your connection runs deep but is unspoken. He says I Love You through soft touches, through the way he opens the door for you, by the way he stares, how he lingers, how he starts taking better care of himself so as to not worry you, how he gives you his cloak when you’re cold, how he gets a bit unhinged if you're hurt in the dungeon. Little things.

Domestic Headcanons

Mithrun actually has bad depth perception due to being blind in one eye. He’s learned how to deal with it, but on occasion you’ll playfully toss something at him and he’ll miss catching it by a longshot. You apologize profusely, but he doesn’t really mind. It is what it is.

His sense of direction is worse. But he carries himself with such confidence and authority that people often ask him for directions. You’re usually leading the way when you go out.

Mithrun post-canon actually cooks a bit more than one would realize. His food isn’t good at first, but Senshi teaches him a bit and he gets better! Cooking together with you, or cooking for you, is one of his preferred activities.

He’s very clean and tends to keep his house spotless. This also surprises people since they assume he would have no desire to clean. They’re right, he doesn’t have that desire, but he’s been trained to keep his surroundings clean. It’s just a habit, something he does robotically, automatically.

FUN FACT: HIS EARS TWITCH. What’s left of them is still quite soft and he will, on occasion, let you touch them. They tend to twitch when he’s annoyed, droop when he’s sad, and perk up when he’s interested or curious, like all elf ears. If you blow on them, they’ll flicker like a cat’s, but he’ll usually pull away and give you a Look if you do that.

Mithrun sleeps like a burrito. You don’t share blankets in bed, you need your own. Even in hot weather, he’s still wrapped up.

He also tends to wake up late in the morning.

He likes it when you play with his hair. If you don’t brush it for him, it won't get done and will start to tangle. On hot days, it’s good to pull his hair back into a little stubby ponytail to keep it off his neck.

Mithrun is a cuddler, surprisingly. He doesn’t like anyone else touching him, but he chooses to touch you. He likes wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, tangling your fingers together, and pulling you into his lap or sitting on yours.

If you’re smaller and lighter than him, he will not hesitate to manhandle you in certain situations. He’ll throw you over his shoulder, pick you up and set you down elsewhere, and carry you if you ask. You’re in front of the kitchen drawer he needs into? You’re getting lifted up without warning and set down outside the perimeters of the kitchen. He’s quite strong for an elf!

If you’re the bigger one, feel free to manhandle him! He’s used to it.

He teleports around the house. And his steps are light. It’s not his intention to scare you, though, that’s just what he does.

The Canaries are in your house often. Fleki likes to sleep on your couch. Lycion likes to eat your food. Mithrun kicks them out eventually.

He doesn’t really care about introducing you to his family, but once his brother finds out that he’s in a relationship, he wants to meet you! He has many stories to tell you about Mithrun's childhood.

There’s a chance that Mithrun has never met his biological father. He actually doesn’t care about that and has no desire to meet him. I headcanon that he doesn’t have a good relationship with his mother or her husband. While he’s generally let go of the resentment over being sent to the Canaries, he still doesn’t really want to interact with them.

Modern Au Headcanons

He uses three in one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. He used to have a hair care routine before the Trauma, but now it's more efficient to use the three in one.

He isn’t allowed to drive. He’s your passenger princess.

Mithrun would play bass. This information was given to me through a prophetic dream, soooo...

He was probably raised playing something fancy like harp, violin, or piano. But he never kept up with it.

Mithrun can ballroom dance! Does he enjoy it? Not at all. But he can and will if you ask.

He prefers cats.

Mithrun drinks seven Red Bulls a day. Fleki sometimes pours Nyquil into his can and Mithrun proceeds to see The Hat Man.

On occasion, he’ll smoke a cigarette. But he doesn’t like how it makes his clothes smell, so it’s rare.

Hoodies, baggy jackets, jeans, and slip on dad-shoes are all that’s in his closet.

You’re invited to his apartment… You walk in, and the living room is empty save for one folding chair with a television in front of it. Still, it’s spotless, clean, and smells of Windex.

His fridge is empty aside from energy drinks— they do not give him energy— and bowls of ramen he never finished eating.

Once he starts recovering from the Trauma, his fridge looks better and he cooks more often.

Mithrun’s preferred video game of choice is Fallout New Vegas. Don’t ask me why, I just know.

He also likes Legend of Zelda! His consoles and devices are old and he’s never caught up on new releases.

His phone screen is insanely cracked but he never gets around to fixing it.

He doesn’t answer phone calls. Even from his brother or the Canaries. He just doesn’t feel like it. Text him if you want his attention.

Zero social media presence. However, if he wants to stalk someone— you— he has Cithis use one of her many burner/catfish accounts so she can do it and tell him the tea.

He goes to the gym at two in the morning because he can’t sleep.

No therapist, no antidepressants, just raw dogging life.

He is weirdly good at Jeopardy.

The Canaries meet every Saturday at a dingy bar near his apartment! Mithrun’s tolerance is low, though, so he doesn’t drink much. (Before the Trauma, he would regularly get white girl wasted.)

If he does drink too much, he just falls asleep.

They also have monthly game nights! Mithrun is an absolute menace at Catan. The rest of the table is screaming, making deals, arguing with each other, but Mithrun sits there quietly, strategizing… The Canaries don’t actually care who wins, they just want Mithrun to lose.

The Canaries will sometimes drag him to concerts, parties, or music festivals. He brings ear plugs and his Kindle. (You’re on stage, singing your hit song. The crowd is going wild, girls are screaming your name, begging for your attention. But then you see him… He’s not paying attention, he’s not looking for your approval. He’s just reading Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice in the middle of the crowd, his hair in a messy bun, his converse black. This guy is different… This guy is deep… You invite him backstage afterward. He insults your music, thinking it's for preps. His friends forced him to come and he'd rather be in his room, listening to mcr and reading books. Your infatuation with this quirky senior citizen only grows.)

My Relationship Playlist for Mithrun

Never Love an Anchor - The Crane Wives

Runner - Tennis

Metaphor - The Crane Wives

Feel Better - Penelope Scott

Absence - Rio Romeo

Pearl Diver - Mitski

The Perfect Pair - beabadoobee

The Only Exception - Paramore

From Eden - Hozier

High and Dry - Radiohead

We’ll Never Have Sex - Leith Ross

How I’d Kill - Cowboy Malfoy

Curses - The Crane Wives

✧˖°

#I love this little guy #if you cant tell already by the 3000 word dissertation #he's my heart and soul #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #mithrun #mithrun of the house of kerensil #the canaries #my writing #x reader #mithrun x reader #dungeon meshi x reader #headcanons #delicious in dungeon #gn reader

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saminsecret · 2 months ago

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I'm not the same anon that asked for that deep male reader, but I loved the idea of it. Could you make a similar headcanon, but with the sinclair brothers?

Slashers dating a male!s/o with a deep voice part 2

I didn’t see this ask until now so sorry anon! Hope you like it >.< I love writing for the Sinclair brothers honestly but its been a while since ive watched the movie so excuse my mistakes!

Characters include the Sinclair Brothers!

Male reader!

Vincent Sinclair:

He has to get used to it. He's used to being in the basement alone, surrounded by silence for most of the days as he's working on another art piece. He likes the peace, away from the screams of tourists or arguments with Bo or the confusing chatter from Lester. So when you try to make conversation with him....he's not ignoring you, he just kind of...doesn't know what to think. You speak softly, but your voice is so deep it kind of throws him off his game for those first couple of weeks of being with you.

He wants you to talk more. Eventually, he can't get enough of you and your voice. He'll often sit you down near his desk while he's working on something and just listen to you talk about whatever. Ever so often he'll turn to you and nod to show that he is listening to you so that you don't stop. On the odd day that you are doing something that stops you from being able to sit with him downstairs, he'll find himself restless and unable to create anything worthwhile.

Easily flustered. You say literally anything that has a hint of a flirty undertone and this man is bright red under his mask, fumbling with his hands as he tries to sign back to you. If you whisper something in his ear, flirty or not, he's going to have a heart attack. You have a lot of fun teasing him. He likes it, too! (But he's too embarrassed to admit it)

Bo Sinclair

He tries to deepen his voice around you. It's obvious that he's a bit intimidated by how deep your voice is, but he'll call you an insecure pussy if you try to talk to him about it. He has to be the most intimidating/sexy guy in the room, y/n. Ambrose isn't big enough for the two of you!

He'll pretend to hate your voice, but really he finds it attractive. He'll still tease/bully you to no end about your voice, but once you've started dating he'll slow down the insults considerably (but not entirely). Hopefully your not insecure about it, because he certainly will use anything he can to keep you complacent/with him. "You think you can find anyone else that'll want you with that voice? I'm the best you'll ever hope to have, sweetheart."

He gets PTSD whenever you yell. Whether your joking or actually mad at him, your voice lowers even more when you yell and then suddenly he's a little boy again getting screamed at by his sonofabitch daddy. A switch will flip and he'll go into a rage, cursing you and anyone else out and pushing you out of the way to be alone with his cars. Give him a few hours to himself. Eventually he'll come back to you like it never happened, and if you really loved him, you'd play along.

He gets insanely jealous when tourists comment on your voice. He keeps a cool front, but inside he's already thinking about how the wax will look on their skin. You're voice is attractive, yes, but they aren't allowed to think about his boyfriend, period. If you want the tourists to not die in an extra painful manner, you'd best stay in the house where no one can see hear you.

Lester Sinclair

"Woah! You alright, mister?" He thinks you're sick the first time you meet, and when you explain that that's just how your voice is he'll bombard you with semi-invasive questions. "Did ya' always sound like that? Does it hurt to talk like that?" He literally will grill you in the truck the entire time to Ambrose, ignoring anybody else you might've been with. Lester doesn't do social cues very well, so hopefully you don't take any offense to his questions. At least he's being genuine?

Loves it when you sing. He ain't good at it, but anytime he hears you singing he'll join you, belting out the worst fucking singing you've ever heard in your life. He thinks you'd make a great singer, y/n! You could be a duo! Jonesy could make it a trio! This guy is a riot, y/n.

Gets a little insecure around tourists. As you both escort the newest batch of victims to town, the girl in the back seat just will not shut the hell up about how sexy she thinks your voice is. He tries to laugh it off, but he can't help but think about all the better people you could be with. "I know I ain't no catch, y/n..." You have to reassure him at night about how amazing he is and how much you love him. And if that doesn't work, just remind him that he's the only person who gets to hear your voice in bed and you've got him smiling from ear to ear again.

Jonesy barked at you when she first heard you talk. She's never heard someone so baritone before! Of course, now whenever she hears your voice, it's all tail wags and kisses! Lester loves when the three of you get to finally turn in for the night, cuddled up into a little pile of love.

#slashers #slashers x reader #slasher fucker #slasher x male reader #slasher x reader #house of wax #vincent sinclair x male reader #vincent sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair #bo sinclair x male reader #bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair #lester sinclair x male reader #lester sinclair x reader #lester sinclair

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unknown-ladies · 1 year ago

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Sweet Nothing: How comfortable are you and your F/O with one another? Is yours the type of relationship that you feel safer with one another than anyone else? (for Synchronized Invasions)

Oooh, that one's a good and tough question when it comes to her specifically, given the source. In one sense, absolutely, we definitely feel safer with one another than anyone else in the right circumstances.

On the other hand, absolutely not, she's far too card-happy to be trusted with someone's safety and I'm not all that good a duelist in that source given what my deck is.

To go into more detail: In this source, Arc-V, there's an interdimensional card game war going on between the different dimensions, with people from the Fusion and Xyz Dimensions being turned into cards for different reasons. While I'm not the best duelist, tag duels often rely on letting your decks meld well together and helping your teammates' strategy while they help yours. Being able to work together like that because we love each other makes it feel safer if we're ever to get into that level of risk, we can just duel without worry because we know we're safe with our teamwork combos.

However... 🔘 grew up in Duel Academia, which teaches the importance of carding your foes both to obtain a victory prize and assert dominance while assisting the Arc-V project, and she's... a bit too eager to do that to anyone who loses a duel against her, or even rubs her the wrong way slightly. One slipup from me and I don't doubt she'd use that duel disk function of myself too... On top of that, with me not being the best duelist, I doubt she'd feel too protected if I had to fight someone solo for her.

Thanks for the ask!!

Midnight Selfship Ask Game

#f/o tag - synchronized invasions #self ship ask game #blackheartbiohazards

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hiiragi7 · 2 years ago

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Exercise: Exposing intersexism in yourself

Perisex (non-intersex) people please take time to work through this. I'd also appreciate if you reblogged, even if you don't have time to do the exercise.

When you think of an 'intersex body', what comes to mind?

-Do you think of a stereotypical "hermaphrodite"? (Ex. a penis + vagina, a penis + pair of breasts, a very feminine person with a beard)

Do you, or have you ever, used one of the following arguments;

-Intersex people are living proof that trans people exist/that gender/sex is not binary

-Intersex existing disproves everything TERFs/transphobes believe in

-Cis kids with hormone issues are allowed to take HRT or participate in sports, which is hypocritical against trans people

-Nobody is forcing kids into sex reassignment surgery or hormones, that isn't a thing that happens

-Any kind of argument which uses intersex people as a statistic, whether that is framing intersex people existing as either "common" or "rare"

Do you, or have you ever, said any of the following statements;

-Technically I'm biologically intersex now because I took HRT/had surgery, which makes me biologically nonbinary aka intersex

-I tell people that I am intersex/have a hormone condition to avoid discrimination

-I wish I was born as/could become intersex, it would help my dysphoria a lot

-Intersex people are so lucky because they're already biologically nonbinary, they don't even need to transition

-This animal was born with a mix of sex characteristics/without a sex/developed characteristics of the opposite sex over time, which means they're nonbinary/trans

When it comes to sex, do you;

-Believe that sex is binary

-Believe that all intersex people are infertile

-Believe that all intersex people produce both sperm and egg

-Fantasize about intersex bodies, or consume or create porn that displays either intersex bodies or exaggerated stereotypes of hermaphroditic bodies

-Ask invasive questions about what genitals or reproductive organs an intersex person has

-Treat AFAB/AMAB the same as "[non-medically-transitioned] perisex female/perisex male", such as saying "AFAB anatomy" when you really mean vulva, vagina, uterus, ovaries, breasts, and so on

-Believe that HRT/surgery makes you intersex

-Believe that intersex only covers certain types of variation in sex and not others (Ex. Counting ovotestes, CAIS, and CAH as intersex but not counting PCOS or Klinefelter's)

When it comes to creating (artwork, writing, videos, etc), do you;

-Wish to include an intersex character, but do little or no research on how to write/draw them

-Fail to consider how your work will affect real-life intersex people consuming your work

-Ask random intersex people to help you create an intersex character

-Wish to include an intersex character because you personally think intersex people are interesting, or because you are seeking to include as many marginalized identities as you can

-Create intersex characters because you personally find them sexy

-Refer to characters as "hermaphrodites"

-If you create pride artwork or sell pride artwork, if you include a large variety of other LGBT+ identities but do not include intersex, why is this?

When it comes to advocacy work, do you;

-Fail to bring up intersex issues in conversations which should directly involve them, such as the Kansas bathroom bill

-Attempt to push intersex people out of queer spaces by saying that they are not queer

-Fail to recognize or acknowledge how many anti-queer and anti-trans arguments are inherently also anti-intersex arguments

-Say that intersex people are just "collateral damage" or "just caught in the crossfire/targeted by mistake" when it comes to discussing discrimination

-Never think to bring intersex flags or pins or similar to pride even as an ally, contributing to pride being vastly void of intersex pride

-Never attempt to organize protests specifically for intersex rights, or never bring intersex issues up in LGBTQIA+ support groups or resource centers or online

-Never educate others on intersex issues or lift up intersex voices

-Believe that intersex people have more rights than other marginalized groups, or that they are not discriminated against for being intersex

-Believe that all intersex people who are discriminated against are only discriminated against because people believe that they are transgender

Now, not all of these will point towards you being intersexist; however, if you find yourself hitting several points listed here, you do likely have some internalized biases and intersexism to unpack.

#intersex #intersexism #lgbt #lgbtqia #queer #lgbtq #transgender #trans #nonbinary

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moody-alcoholic · 2 months ago

Text

These Violent Delights

Chapter 19 - You're Still Here

Summary: Poly 141 x fem!reader, a/b/o alternate universe 8.7k words. Things are getting better. No way anything can go wrong.... Right??

CW: MDNI +18 explicit content. a/b/o alternative universe, a/b/o dynamics, typical a/b/o universe tropes (knotting, heats), sex, threesome (MMF), oral (M&F receiving), fingering, overstimulation, PiV sex, handjob, ALL COMFORT NO HURT (we finally made it), reader is kinda inexperienced (first time giving a blowjob), alcohol.

Previous - masterlist - next AO3

Enjoy <3

You feel relaxed for the first time in weeks—for the first time in what feels like forever. It's early morning as you make your way downstairs to the kitchen. You can see out the window how thick the snow has gotten overnight. You open the backdoor and snow falls into the kitchen, a strong breeze blowing in and making you shiver.

You’re not going to be able to drink your tea outside today. You end up taking it into the living room. You don’t bother turning the TV on, just run your fingers over books on the bookshelf. You pick something and sit down with it.

You start losing yourself in the book, so it surprises you when John walks into the room.

“Morning.” He smiles at you and comes over to the sofa. He sits on the opposite end and you pull your knees up under you as much as you can.

“Morning,” you reply, going back to your book as he turns the TV on, sipping his tea, flicking through till he finds the news. Your eyes keep wandering to him. He’s still in his PJ's, his hair ruffled from a night of sleep. You can smell him, the mellow scent of his alpha hitting your nose. You wonder how he slept, if he misses you.

Maybe being away from you has been a welcome break. He had sex with Kyle. Did he think of you when he came? No, no you’re being selfish. He turns his head to look at you. You quickly look down to your book, heat rising in your cheeks. You peek over the top of your book, and his head is facing the TV again.

“I want to have sex with Johnny and Kyle,” you blurt out. John lowers his mug and looks over at you. For some reason you feel even further away from him.

“Okay,” he says, pressing his lips together. You don’t know why you expected him to say more. “Why are you asking me?”

“Because you’re my alpha. I have to ask you,” you say. He lets out a sigh, looking back at the TV.

“You don’t have to ask me. I don’t own you.”

“You kind of do,” you whisper, hanging your head. He puts his mug on the coffee table turning his body to face you more.

“I don’t want to control you. I want you to feel like you’re free to do whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. He tips his head letting out another sigh.

“Within reason of course,” he clarifies. You hum. You don’t know what to say to him or what your limits would be. There’s silence as you're just staring at him over your book, trying to hide some of the embarrassment. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed, this is normal for packs.

“Why do you want to have sex with them?” he asks. The question sounds invasive all of the sudden, and you didn’t think your cheeks could get any hotter.

“It’s normal for the omega to be shared around the pack.”

He hums, like that explains everything, and you take another sip of tea.

“What was normal for you in the bunker doesn’t have to be normal out here,” he says. You frown at him.

“What do you mean?”

“There’s no Professor ordering you around. You’re free to do what you want because you want to do it, not because you’re being forced to do it.”

You smile at his words. The bunker is all you know. Everything you’ve learnt about being an omega, being in a pack—it all came from the bunker, Dr. Piper, and the Professor. Now you have a choice in everything you do, and there’s no one to answer to, no one to explain your actions to.

“I want to have sex with them,” you say, smiling at John. You think you see a small smile on his lips before he nods at you and turns back to the TV.

“You don’t need my permission. I want you to feel safe and have fun. I trust them, I trust you, just be careful,” he says, reaching over and picking up his tea, his eyes fixed back on the TV.

“Thank you,” you say. His head nods slightly. You smile, opening your book again.

You spend most of the day in your room reading. You’re not sulking. You don’t know what you’re doing; you just want some alone time. You read until the sun is setting and your limbs are getting stiff. You need to eat at some point. Johnny brought you a sandwich for lunch but that was hours ago.

You’ve been in a world of your own, your mind preoccupied thinking about Johnny and Kyle. You’re not sure how to talk to them. What if they say no? You got John's permission, but you still have to ask them though. They could say no if they wanted to, and that’s not your fault. All of the sudden you feel nervous.

You throw the book on the bed and go into the hall. You hear a laugh come out of one of the rooms. It’s Johnny, you can always tell when Johnny’s laughing. It makes you smile. You muster up the courage. You want to talk to them at least. You knock on the door to the room.

“Come in!” he calls. You push the door open. Kyle is there too laid on the other bed. All of the sudden you feel nervous. You push it away. You want to do this. You want this. You go over and stand in front of Johnny. Maybe you should just bite the bullet. What's the worst that can happen? Rejection?

“Everything okay?” he asks, sitting up straight. You nod, and before you can back out, you bend down and kiss him. His hands come up to your shoulders and he presses you back lightly making you break the kiss.

“Whoa, lass, are you sure you want this?” he asks.

“I spoke to John,” you nod. He smiles like that's the only permission he needs. You hear Kyle getting up off the bed.

“Wait, stay,” you say, turning to him.

“What? Do you want me to watch?” he asks, but there’s a hint of playfulness in his voice and a twinkle in his eyes. You shake your head.

“Join.” You look back at Johnny. “You don’t mind right?”

“‘Course not. Whatever you want, love,” Johnny says. Looking over at Kyle, you hold your hand out for him. He smiles, lacing his fingers through yours and coming over. His other hand lands on the small of your back. Johnny takes both your hands standing up and you step back against Kyle’s chest.

“I want to feel something other than sadness. I want to get better for the pack, for John.” You look up at Johnny, you feel selfish all of a sudden, a wave of guilt washes over you and you push it away. “You told me I would never forget her, but I want to try and move on.”

Johnny’s hand comes up to your chin pulling your face up to look at him. You expect him to say something but instead he just smiles, pressing his lips on yours. His kiss is eager and deep, not like the long passionate kisses you’ve had with John. He hums in your mouth, his hands holding your face as Kyle’s hands grip your waist, his face buried in your neck.

You let them run their mouths over you, their hot lips pressing against your skin, each new spot sending shivers down your body and making goosebumps rise on the back of your neck. Johnny takes your face and cheeks while Kyle runs his tongue over your neck and shoulders sucking on the sensitive spots. You’re sure he’ll be leaving little marks.

There’s no big bed in here, just 2 single beds against opposite ends of the room. Johnny and Kyle seem to have this silent way of communicating; they move together without hitting each other, moving you where they want. Johnny is more vocal than Kyle, his kisses are finished with soft moans or hums. Kyle on the other hand nips at your earlobes with whispered praises that makes warmth rise in your core.

Johnny turns you and gently presses you down onto the bed. You look up at them both standing in front of you.

“How does this work?” you ask, heat rushing to your cheeks. Now you feel like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew. Johnny and Kyle just smile then look at each other for a second. They’re doing it again, the silent communication thing. It’s like you can see them thinking. You’ve seen John and Simon do it too. Maybe it’s an army thing?

Johnny smiles looking back at you, pulling his shirt off. You remember what he looked like from the one time you saw him back at the lab. Your eyes go to the shoulder where the bullet wound was. There’s a small scar there. It will take a few months to heal fully.

Kyle sits next to you and Johnny kneels down in front of you. His hands go to your waist tugging on the hem of your top. You know what he wants and Kyle helps you take it off. Now you’re topless in front of them, they’ve both seen you naked before but this time it feels diffrent. You feel yourself blushing again and automatically look away as a chill comes over you.

Kyle’s hand brings your chin to look at him.

“If you want to stop you just have to say,” he says. You nod and he leans in to kiss you. He kisses like John, long and slow, his tongue exploring your mouth. His hand drops from your face to cup one of your breasts. His hands are soft, softer than John’s or Johnny’s. His movements are gentle, softly brushing his thumb over your nipples making them harden.

You’re not even paying attention to Johnny, getting lost in the kiss with Kyle as he touches you. You move your body for Johnny, as he takes off your shoes and tugs on the waistband of your pants. You lift your ass for him and he pulls them off with your underwear.

You break from the kiss looking down at him as he flings the clothes across the room. His eyes shine in the light as he looks up at you. You’re completely naked now. Kyle is still running his hands over your breasts and back. Johnny runs his hands up your thighs and you automatically spread your legs.

You hear a shaky breath leave Johnny’s lips. You’ve never seen him like this before, and the smell of vanilla fills the room.

“What are you waiting for?” Kyle asks. Johnny looks up at him and then back to you. You smile at him and he scoops his arms under your knees pulling you to the edge of the bed. Kyle’s hands don’t leave you, his arms supporting you as he scoots around to sit behind you.

“Lean back,” he encourages, then he wraps his arms around you, his hands cupping both your breasts. He lets out a hum and you feel his chest vibrate as he buries his mouth in your neck. You don’t have time to react to the sensation of having both your nipples played with because Johnny is pressing kisses across your thighs.

You almost want to beg him to hurry up. You’ve been aching for this, ever since the first time you entertained the idea. You spread your legs wider for him; he takes the opportunity to get himself more comfortable, finishing up his line of kisses. When he finally presses his tongue against your clit you moan out, tipping your head back.

You feel Kyle’s cock twitch behind you as Johnny sucks on you, his tongue pressing between your folds, dragging slick and saliva back up to run around your clit. Each pinch of your nipples sends sparks down to your pussy. You don’t know how long you’re going to last; it’s been weeks since you had any kind of touching.

Last time was your forced heat and now you have two people pressing on your sensitive spots, it’s almost to the point of overstimulation. It’s been even longer since you’ve had sex that wasn’t heat related. Your hand reaches down to run through Johnny’s mohawk.

“Like that?” Kyle asks in your ear, his voice rumbling from the back of his throat.

“Yeah,” you breathe trying your best not to squeeze your thighs round Johnny’s head, but by the way he’s drinking you up you don’t think he would care. He keeps a steady pace, long strokes from your entrance to your clit where he runs his tongue in tight circles, as Kyle whispers sweet things in your ears.

“Mhm, so sweet aren't you,” Kyle breathes into your neck before running his tongue up the side. You grip Johnny’s hair a little tighter. You can feel yourself chasing the peak, the high you’ve been craving since you first thought about having sex with them. You thought it would take longer but it’s all just too much.

“Close,” you breathe as you arch your back squirming in Kyle’s arms.

“That’s it, let go.” His voice is hot in your ear and you grip Johnny’s hair moaning out as you cum. Vanilla fills the air, and it makes your mouth water. Johnny rides you through the orgasm and you pull your hand off his head.

Kyle is just holding you in his arms as you pant, pressing little kisses on your neck. Johnny looks up at you, his lips shiny. He stands up leaning down to kiss you. You can taste yourself on him as his tongue plays with yours. The kiss is needy, rough, and just like before it feels like he’s drinking you up making you breathless as you try to keep up with him.

Kyle shuffling behind you breaks the kiss and Johnny stands up straight. You feel cold when Kyle’s hands leave you.

“Lay down,” he says. You nod, shuffling up the bed so you can rest your head on the pillow. You don’t know whose bed this is. Johnny was sitting on it when you came in, it had to be his. The sound of belts hitting the floor drags your attention back to Johnny and Kyle now standing there naked too.

You’re blushing again and you know they can see it. A cheeky grin comes across Johnny’s face as he strokes himself. You can’t tell if he’s bigger than John or not. Your eyes flick over to Kyle who’s making his way onto the bed. You pull your knees up for him so he can shuffle beside you.

The bed is small so you’re forced to turn. He pulls your shoulders so you’re laid with your back to him. Johnny bends down by your head bringing his hand up to rub your cheek.

“Gonna let us take care of you?” he asks, his voice low, gentle. You don’t know what to say, something blooms in your chest, something you haven’t felt in weeks. You nod smiling at him.

“Good girl,” he says, pressing his lips to your forehead then down to your mouth. You can feel Kyle moving behind you, his arm resting over you, his fingers finding your clit. You don’t know what you’re supposed to do; you just lay there as they touch you. Kyle’s propped up on his elbow, quickly using his hand to tuck your hair behind your ear.

“Ever sucked cock before?” Johnny asks. You feel embarrassed by the question. You don’t think you’ve ever done it before, at least not how you think it’s supposed to be done. He can sense your hesitation. You shake your head.

“Want to try?” he asks. You nod, maybe a little too eagerly. He chuckles. You feel Kyle moving behind you again. He moves his hand to grip your waist pulling you up against him. You can feel his cock pressing between your thighs, the tip nudging your clit. Johnny stands up, his cock conveniently stops perfectly in front of your face.

You reach out, you’re not sure what you’re supposed to do. Kyle has stopped moving, he watches you as you reach out with a hand and wrap it around Johnny’s shaft. You thrust your hand down a few times looking up at Johnny who’s just smiling down at you. You don’t know if you’re doing it right and you feel like Johnny is not one to complain.

“Like this,” Kyle says, reaching over and putting his hand on top of yours. He presses down on your thumb speeding up the thrusts. You go all the way down to the base then back up. Nice long strokes that have Johnny moaning and twitching in your hand.

“Don’t be afraid to press hard. He’s a big boy, he can take it,” Kyle says as he removes his hand moving it down to squeeze one of your breasts. You nod following Kyle’s instructions as he goes back to running his hand down your body.

You look up at Johnny who has his head tipped back. He spread his legs a little. Kyle’s hand comes between your legs, and you pull your knees up and press your ass closer to him. His fingers press against your entrance. You’re trying to keep focused on Johnny when he pushes two fingers inside you.

You let out a gasp immediately clenching around him. You hear him chuckle as Johnny looks down at you and winks. Kyle’s fingers curl up inside you pessing on that oh-so-sweet spot that makes your whole body tingle. Johnny’s hand comes down to his cock and you move yours. You look up at him trying to concentrate on his face and not Kyle’s fingers stretching you out.

You lean forward, opening your mouth slightly for him.

“Ready?” he asks. You nod and he presses his tip to your lips. You quickly wet them before opening up for him and letting him in. He’s big. You don’t think you’ll be able to take him all the way in your mouth. He seems to know that too, slowly pressing more and more, testing your limit.

“Christ love,” he says when you’ve almost taken him all the way. You try to smile but you can’t. Your mouth feels so full, until suddenly you can’t take it any further and you gag. He pulls out of your mouth straight away.

“Did I do something wrong?” you ask. They both chuckle and Kyle takes his fingers out of you.

“You did perfect love. Want to keep going?” Johnny asks. You nod eagerly. You want to feel their hands on you again. This time instead of his fingers Kyle lines his cock up with your entrance.

He eases himself inside you, and you close your eyes letting out a moan. You feel full; he’s big like John. Johnny’s hand comes down to your face, and you open your eyes looking up at him. He smiles stroking your cheek.

“Kyle, you’re making her look so pretty,” Johnny says. You smile at him as Kyle chuckles behind you. His hand comes around you pressing on your stomach before it travels down to your clit. Your mouth tips open as moans leave from the back of your throat.

Johnny presses his tip back up against your lips and you eagerly let him press it in your mouth. Your mouth fills with saliva and you bob your head as much as you can. It’s a new sensation but you don’t mind it. You like the fact you’re the one pleasuring him. He twitches in your mouth and it makes you want to take him deeper which is hard with Kyle holding you in place.

You’re trying to focus on Johnny but Kyle’s hitting a sweet spot inside you making it almost impossible to do anything without moaning around Johnny’s cock every few seconds. His hand moves between your breast and your clit, and each time it sends shivers down to your pussy and you clench around him which causes him to moan, driving into you faster.

He’s gentle though, pressing little kisses on your skin while Johnny strokes your cheek. You look up at him as you circle your tongue around his tip. He really likes that; his eyes go glossy, his hand pressing on your cheek a little harder. Kyle’s movements change: he starts getting quicker, his long moans turning into grunts and pants.

He moves all his attention to your clit, pressing down on it hard, rubbing in time with his thrusts. You have to clench around him so you don’t accidentally bite down on Johnny’s cock. Kyle’s driving you closer to the edge burying his face in your neck, sucking on the sensitive spots making goosebumps rise on your body.

You’re going to cum. You’re not thinking, just moaning, feeling Johnny twitch in your mouth. He seems to like that too. Then he pulls out of your mouth, his hand moving to your chin pulling your face up to look at him. You let out a whine which makes his smile grow bigger.

“Fucking, beautiful,” he says, bending down and pressing his lips on you, pushing his tongue in your mouth. He’s rough, the kiss becoming sloppy as you let him do what he wants. All you can focus on is Kyle’s fingers on your clit, and his panting in your ear drives you over the edge. Your hand flys down to his pressing his fingers harder down against your clit as you cum.

Johnny kisses you through the orgasm and Kyle cums a few seconds later throbbing inside you. His thrusts slow to a stop. You break from the kiss looking up at Johnny who wipes the saliva off your chin. You’re panting with Kyle trying to focus on Johnny who bends down in front of you.

“You good?” he asks. You nod as Kyle’s arms wrap around you, squeezing you tight.

“Of course she’s good, she’s incredible,” Kyles breathes, the smell of leather filling your nose. You smile. You’re glad you made him happy. You’re glad they are having fun. You did that as their omega, you made them happy.

“You finished or think you can go again?” Johnny asks.

“Yeah, I can go again,” you say. You’re not too sure if you believe it though. You don’t really care, it’s only fair that Johnny gets a turn. He hums, his hand leaving your face as he goes to stand up.

“Kyle, sit her up. Let her lean against you like before,” Johnny says. Kyle makes some incoherent noise as he pulls out of you. You suddenly feel empty. You don’t expect either of them to knot you, but if they can’t help it, there’s nothing you can do.

They seem to have enough self control though, which surprises you most of the other experiences you had with betas, they lose all semblance of self-control when they smell you. Vanilla is the smell you’ve always associated with sex. It’s not the nice mellow smell of vanilla you think of cakes or baking. It’s harsh and overwhelming, making saliva build in your mouth.

Then there’s leather. You don’t know what you smell like when you climax but males always smell of leather. You used to hate the smell. You never knew what it was until you ended up in the Professor's office one day and he had leather chairs. You used to hate that smell in the bunker, but now it makes you think of John.

You’re not even paying attention to what’s going on as you’re moved, now sitting up between Kyle's legs, your back resting against his chest. His hands cup your breasts pinching your nipples as he coaxes more moans out of you, rewarding each one with a kiss on the neck.

Johnny’s not waiting around, pressing his tip against your entrance, pulling your attention to him. You look at him with glazed eyes as he eases into you. You thought it was going to be sore; you thought you weren't going to be able to take it but he slides in with ease. You tighten around him as he pushes all the way in.

“Yeah, like the way he makes you feel?” Kyle asks, nipping on your earlobe. You’re barely even listening to him, nodding at the questions. Johnny starts to thrust into you. He’s slow, each thrust being followed by a moan.

Kyle has moved to whispering sweet things into your ear. Your head tips back and Kyle kisses the top of your head, his hands still busy with your breasts, running his thumbs over your nipples. You can’t help one of your hands reaching down to rub your throbbing clit. Kyle hums moving a hand down to replace yours.

“Let me,” he breathes on your neck, and your heart starts racing. Johnny seems to sense your change in demeanor as you relax up against Kyle, letting him play with your tits and your clit. Each time he sucks on your neck you clench around Johnny who grunts taking an extra long stroke. You like it when he does that; it feels like he’s pushing all the air out your lungs.

“Feels good doesn’t she?” Kyle asks looking up at Johnny who seems like he’s in a world of his own. Other than your moaning and his panting you can only hear the wet sounds of him slamming into you. He’s speeding up his thrusts, his breathing becoming shorter.

You start squirming in Kyle's grip as his fingers attack your clit. Johnny bends down, hooking his arms under your legs pulling you and angling you up slightly. The new angle makes you moan out, panting as Johnny drives into you deeper and faster. Now he’s not being so gentle, hitting a deep spot inside you, gripping the flesh on your thighs.

“Johnny,” you call, your eyes almost rolling into the back of your head. Kyle’s free arm wraps around your midsection in an attempt to keep you still.

“You close already love?” he asks. You nod, and Kyle chuckles.

“Such a perfect omega, taking us both,” Johnny says through gritted teeth. All you can smell is vanilla and beta, the smell is almost overwhelming. The constant praise is doing something to you, and you let the warmth bubble in your core. You’ve missed this feeling.

“Johnny,” you call his name as you cum. You arch your back, and Kyle’s mouth presses into your neck. He hums, sending vibrations down your spine. Johnny’s a lot rougher when he cums, his fingers digging into your thighs as he pushes himself inside you throbbing with short bucks of his hips. He lowers your legs and you slump back against Kyle whose fingers are still circling your pulsating clit. Johnny pulls out, making you feel empty yet again.

He turns behind him pulling a towel off the top of the dresser. You twitch against Kyle's hand and he pulls away, running his hands around your body making a trail of goosebumps. Johnny kneels between your legs gently cleaning you up. You can feel their seed spilling out, but Johnny catches it with the gentle pats of the towel.

You close your eyes as Kyle holds you making sure you’re stable against his chest. You lay there panting in his arms. You keep your eyes closed, your body still pulsating as Kyle squeezes you tight.

“Deep breaths, come on.” He takes exaggerated breaths into your ear. You copy him, forcing as much air as you can out of your lungs. When your heart stops hammering you open your eyes looking up at Johnny standing half dressed in front of you. His hand comes up to brush your cheek.

“You’re amazing love, do you know that?” he asks. You don’t get time to answer, he just bends down to kiss you. You smile as he breaks from the kiss standing back up and looking round at the clothes on the floor.

“I’ll get a bath started,” he says, pulling the rest of his clothes on. You move to stand up too but Kyle keeps a tight grip on you.

“We said we’ll take care of you. That includes afterwards too,” he says. You relax, letting him hold you as he whispers streams of praises in your ears. That warm feeling in your core comes back spreading through your whole body.

When Johnny comes back he picks you up in his arms.

“I can walk,” you say sleepily. The throbbing stops and you shiver as he carries you across the hall to the bathroom.

“I know love,” he says, putting you down in the bathroom. You step into the bath sinking down into the hot water. The chill instantly leaves your body and you let out a long sigh. The door to the room opens and a now dressed Kyle walks in. You smile at him as he comes over to the tub.

Johnny helps wash your hair while Kyle massages your shoulders. They dote over you asking how you feel, telling you how well you did. You let the steam relax you as Johnny braids your hair again.

“How do you feel?” Johnny asks as he ties the braid off letting it fall over your shoulder.

“Good. Tired,” you say. Kyle’s hand leaves you and he stands up.

“I’ll get you something comfy,” he says, heading out of the room. You lean up against the tub looking up at Johnny. His hand comes to stroke your cheek.

“Perfect omega,” he says, his eyes glossing over as you project your scent for him. Kyle comes back in the room and you get out of the bath. You try to dry yourself but they won’t have that either. In fact, the only thing they let you do yourself is pee.

Their hands find you as you leave the room. You lean up against Johnny yawning.

“Nap?” he asks, stopping in the hall.

“Yeah.”

He turns to lead you back to your room.

“Wait, can I sleep with you?” you ask. He nods, smiling and guiding you back to your room. Kyle says he’s going to cook food and he’ll wake you up later. You smile at him as he goes down the stairs. Johnny lets you get into bed first then climbs in behind you. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. The bed is small but you fit, Johnny kisses the top of your head.

You relax, running your hands up his chest, breathing in his scent.

“Thank you,” you whisper, closing your eyes.

…

You’re woken by a knock on the door. Johnny shoots up straight away. You turn to look out the window; it’s dark now. You feel relaxed. Your body tingles when you think about the time you spent with Johnny and Kyle.

“Thought you’d want to catch the game.” It’s Simon's voice. He doesn’t come into the room or wait for a response. Johnny’s arms wrap around you pulling you up against his chest.

“Hungry?” he asks, his breath hot in your ear. Him just saying it makes your stomach growl.

“Yeah,” you say. Johnny gets up offering his hand for you and you get out of the bed. He can’t seem to keep his hands off you, stealing any moment to let his hands brush over you. As you make it down the stairs you can hear the others talking and the TV playing in the living room.

“Football’s on, you should join them. I’ll bring food,” Johnny says as you stop outside the half closed door. You nod and go in. They all look up at you. Your eyes land on Kyle who smiles. You smile back, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. John and Kyle are sitting on the sofa with beers in their hands. Simon is sitting on one of the other chairs.

“Sit here!” Kyle calls scooting closer to John and patting the empty spot next to him. You nod, going over. You thought it would be awkward seeing them all again, especially John. It’s not though, they’re all too invested in the game, or at least that’s what you think.

You try to figure out what is going on. Every now and then one of them will cheer or make a frustrated noise followed by swearing and hands being thrown in the air.

“Who’s winning?” Johnny asks, coming in with a plate of food and a glass of water. You pull your legs on the sofa crossing them. Your stomach rumbles again; you really are hungry. Johnny smiles, putting the plate down in your lap, and the glass on the table. You thank him as his head turns to look at the game before he sits down next to Simon. You’re not really sure what’s going on or how you even tell who’s winning.

You eat your pasta, listening to them talk. They talk about the game and the teams, and every now and then Kyle will lean over and explain what they just cheered or complained about. You’re not really any closer to understanding it but you don’t mind. You're just happy to be spending time with them.

By the time something called ‘half-time’ starts, you’ve finished your food. Everyone gets up to use the bathroom or get another drink. It all happens like a silent dance they’ve done a million times. Simon has started to wind Johnny up who lets out frustrated huffs, protesting his point to the amusement of John and Kyle.

Kyle hands you a beer telling you he didn’t want you to feel left out.

“We’ll be having a celebration if City wins,” he chuckles, which makes Simon start to protest much to Johnny’s amusement. You don’t get it but you smile anyway sipping on the beer. After a few sips you start to feel relaxed leaning back on the sofa.

You look over at John, his arm wrapped round Kyle’s back, digging his thumb into his shoulder. You wish it was you. Jealousy rises in you. You miss his touch. You want him to be rubbing your back. You look down at your can fidgeting with the tab.

“Yes! See that, Beautiful!” Johnny’s cheering, his hands flying in the air. It makes you jump. The TV zooms in on a man running around with his arms in the air before he’s jumped on by men in matching outfits.

“They scored,” Kyle says as it switches to a replay of the goal.

“Are they a good team?” you ask. You realise you have barely said a word since being down here.

“Depends who you ask,” Kyle chuckles.

“Best team in the league,” Johnny says, turning to you enthusiastically.

“He wishes,” Simon says, taking a sip of his beer. That seems to set Johnny off on a rant about wins and losses of other teams you’ve never heard of.

“Look, they're trying their best, give him a break LT,” Kyle says, laughing. It makes you smile as you see Johnny pout crossing his arms. It makes you chuckle too. Kyle nudges you and you finish the rest of your beer.

When the game ends Johnny’s team does win much to the amusement of the others.

“Won’t last long,” Simon says, getting up and stretching.

“Can’t let me bask in this glory for 5 minutes can you?” Johnny replies getting up too.

“Can’t let that ego of yours get any bigger,” Simon says ruffling Johnny’s hair. That makes Kyle laugh and he gets up stretching too. You look over at John who’s leaned back with his arm over the back of the sofa looking up at Johnny and Simon teasing each other as they go into the kitchen.

“Another?” Kyle asks, raising his eyebrow at you. You look up at him frowning. He points at the empty can in your hand. You shake your head. He takes the empty can off of you, smiling, and leaves the same way Johnny and Simon had gone.

You’re alone with John now. It’s not awkward. You thought it would be, but it’s not. Maybe it’s the alcohol but you don’t care. You turn to look at him and he smiles back at you. You like seeing him smile. If he’s happy, you’re being a good omega.

“Can I lay on your lap?” you ask before nerves come and eat you alive. He looks at you for a second studying your face.

“Sure,” he says, laying back on the sofa a bit more to give you room. You pull your legs up crawling towards him. You lay down facing the TV and relax bringing your knees almost up to your chest.

“Cold?” he asks as he places his hand on your shoulder. You are but you don’t know what to say. You don’t want to be a bother. This is something you’re supposed to do for him. He senses your hesitation and pulls the throw blanket over you.

You can hear the crackling of the fire. You’re not paying attention to the TV really. Just the feeling of being here for your alpha after all this time, it’s what you need. His hand squeezes your shoulder. You feel him relax further into the couch, and the hairs stand up on the back of your neck.

You let out a long breath letting yourself fully relax. You’re safe with your pack. This is the way it’s supposed to be. His hand moves to stroke your hair.

“What do you think is going to happen now?” you ask. His hand pauses for a second.

“With what?”

“Now that there's no cure.” His hand starts to move again.

“We’ll figure something out,” he says. That makes you smile. He doesn’t sound worried or mad. He sounds confident, like the kind of person who just gets on with things. That's why he’s the Captain. You let out a long breath projecting your scent for him. You’ve been cold to him for so long but you miss him. You’ve missed him so much.

You hear a hum leave his throat as his hand moves further and further down your head. It eventually stops at the base of your neck. His thumb brushes over your mark and you automatically tip your head for him so he can have better access.

His hand is warm on your neck. You close your eyes enjoying the tingle you get every time his thumb brushes over the indents of his teeth.

“I promise I'll be a better omega.”

“Shh, you don't have to promise anything. You try your best, you do your best. I don't expect anything more from you.”

You like the feel of his hands on you again. His touch is gentle, and you've missed it.

“You were always there. Even when I hated you you never left my side.” You open your eyes hearing a door close. His hand rests on your neck.

“Of course. I will always be there.”

“Even if I hated you?” you ask. He lets out a little scoff.

“Even if you hated me,” he says, stroking your hair.

“Thank you.” His hand moves back down to your neck. You let out a hum projecting your scent for him. You close your eyes again letting the low sound of the TV and the fire put you to sleep.

…

Johnny opens the door. John puts his finger to his lips. Johnny smiles seeing you sleeping on his lap.

“Need anything?” he asks as quietly as he can. “Didn’t know how long you were planning on staying up for.

“She should be in bed. It can’t be comfortable,” John says, but there’s a smile on his lips. He doesn’t want you to leave. Selfishly, he wants to keep you near him for as long as possible.

“She looks comfortable.”

“I think she is,” John breathes running his thumb over the back of your neck. It’s his mark; he claimed you as his omega. A few weeks ago you wouldn’t even give him the time of day but now you’re laying in his lap letting him stroke the back of your neck. The most venerable part of your body, and it’s open to him.

“Thank you for today,” John says looking over at Johnny standing in the doorway.

“Yeah?” Johnny raises an eyebrow. “I can see why you wanted to keep her to yourself.”

"She needed you and Kyle. You took care of her in a way I couldn’t.”

“Yeah well, she has you now. That’s the way it should be.”

“Us, she has us,” John says looking up at Johnny. He nods. John looks back down at you pulling hair behind your ear, so he can stroke your cheek. “We’re a pack, and we take care of the pack.”

Johnny doesn’t say anything, just watches as John rubs your cheek.

“Take her to bed,” John sighs, looking back up at Johnny.

“Want me to put her in your bed?” he asks.

“No, I don’t want to push her."

“She came to you. I don’t think she would mind,” Johnny says sympathetically as he comes over to pick you up.

“Okay, fine.” John gently passes you into Johnny’s arms.

“Johnny?” you murmur as he scoops you up in his arms.

“Yeah, we’re going to bed,” he says, pressing his lips on the top of your head.

“I laid in John’s lap,” you say without opening your eyes. You’re so glad you did. He deserves it. Now you’re just exhausted from projecting your scent.

“Yeah ya did,” he whispers, taking you upstairs. He puts you down and you crawl into bed still pretty much asleep. You hear John walking in. You’re in his room; you can smell him on the pillows. You don’t care, you want to be near him. You hear him talk and then you feel him getting into bed. You turn over, wrapping your arms around him before he gets a chance to lay down properly.

He pulls you up against his chest, hooking his arm under your head and pulling you against him.

“I’ve missed you,” you breathe. Sleep is catching up to you again.

“I know, I missed you too,” he says. It makes you smile and he squeezes you tight. You want to talk more but you’re too tired and before you know it you’re asleep.

When you wake you feel different. You feel good, happy, safe. You see the sun is just peeking through the clouds. You roll over in bed and look at John. He’s sleeping on his side, his hand tucked under his chin, his mouth open slightly. You want to kiss him, to feel his lips on yours again.

He’s your alpha. It’s his job to protect the pack, and your job is to keep the pack together. You smile watching him sleep, fighting the urge to reach out and touch him. You almost don’t want to disturb him, just stay in this blissful moment forever.

“John,” you whisper, shaking his shoulder. He doesn’t move. You try again pushing him harder. This time he springs awake looking around. You prop yourself up, and he turns to see you and smiles

“Morning,” he says, his voice grumbling. He smiles and lays back down. You shuffle up and put your head on his chest. He wraps his arms around you kissing the top of your head.

“I’ve missed you,” you say. He lets out a long sigh, his hands running down your body. You project your scent for him while you breathe him in. He kisses the top of your head while you run your hand up his chest.

“I missed you too,” he says. You close your eyes letting out a sigh. There’s a warmth blooming in your chest; it's something you haven’t felt in ages. It feels good to be back in your alpha’s arms. His hands keep running up and down you. You missed his touch, his scent. You’ve missed everything.

“I’m sorry I was so angry at you,” you say.

“No it’s okay. You had every right to be upset with me,” he says. You look up at him and he kisses your forehead. “I’m sorry things happened the way that they did.”

Before he can reply you reach up and kiss him. As soon as his lips are on yours a hum leaves from deep in his throat.

You part your lips for him letting him push his tongue in your mouth. You press your body closer to him feeling his heart beating in his chest. The kiss is hot and needy, it feels amazing to be back in his arms kissing him. A few weeks ago you wouldn’t have been bothered if you never saw him again. Now you can’t imagine a life without him. Without any of them.

“I wish we could stay here,” you say, breaking away from the kiss.

“We’re going to stay here, at least for a while.”

“I wish it could be forever,” you breathe pressing your nose against his.

“We’ll come back.”

You press your lips against him. You’re craving more from him. You wish you could just spend the day in bed with him and make up for all the time you’ve been distant to him. Your kiss becomes more needy as you press your body up against him. You slip your hand up his shirt feeling the skin to skin contact you’ve missed.

His hand lands on your waist pulling you against him. His kiss is slow and long, like he hasn’t kissed you in months, letting his tongue gently press against yours. You don’t want it to end but his phone buzzing breaks you both apart. You let out a sigh as he turns over and picks it up.

You try to see the name on the screen but he moves it away too fast. He fully turns over in the bed and you whine as he goes to sit up.

“I know I'm sorry. I have to go to town to pick up some post,” he says, getting out of the bed.

“Can I come?” you ask. You wouldn't mind going back to the town. You want to spend time with him even if it is just running errands in town.

“Next time,” he says. You pout at him, and he turns around chuckling when he sees your face.

“C’mon lets get some breakfast,” he says. You sigh, turning over in bed and getting out.

…

John left to go to the town around 3pm; it was now pushing almost 5 and he wasn’t back. You’re trying not to worry about it, you just really wanted to spend the day with him. There doesn’t even need to be any sex, just peace and quiet and the smell of alpha.

You felt whole again. After weeks of pain you finally felt like you were happy. You didn’t care what would happen next, you were going to enjoy spending this time with your pack. You were in your nest with a blanket thrown over you and a book. Everyone else minus John had sat down to watch TV.

You’re not paying attention to what they’re watching but now and then they shout at the TV. It’s some kind of quiz show you think. The setting sun is lighting Johnny’s already cozy living room with a bright orange hue. It makes you smile. For once everything feels perfect; there’s nothing that could ruin the high you’re feeling.

You hear the sounds of the car coming back. Simon looks over his shoulder out the window.

“Someone's with Price,” he says. Suddenly he and Johnny tense up. The smell of nerves and fear fill the air. Johnny turns around and mutters something under his breath.

“He never said he was picking anyone up,” Kyle says standing up to get a better look past Simon.

“Is that a man or a woman?” Johnny asks. He doesn’t get a reply. Goosebumps rise on the back of your neck. You stand up letting the blanket fall off your shoulders as Simon strides over to you.

“Stay with Gaz okay. Do as he says,” Simon says as he grips your shoulders looking at your face. You nod and he releases you. You look at Kyle reaching under the coffee table and his hand comes back out with a gun. It makes you gasp as Johnny and Simon fish bigger weapons out of various hiding spots. The curtains are drawn closed. Now you can’t even see out to the car. You can hear the engine though.

Johnny and Simon leave the living room and you hear the front door open. Car doors slamming, people talking just too far away for you to hear them. You walk over to Kyle who’s standing by the door, and you stand behind him. He turns quickly to see you and you try your best to mask your scent.

“What the hell!?” You hear Johnny shout. You gasp and grip Kyle’s shirt. There’s silence. Maybe something bad has happened, but you didn’t hear any shots go off. You hear the crunch of snow. Someone sighs and then there’s a knock at the door.

“It’s me,” Simon says before opening the door. He looks white as a sheet like he’s seen a ghost. Kyle moves to put the pistol away. Now you’re confused. You can’t keep your eyes off Simon. You can smell him; he’s angry, not upset? You flare your nostrils taking a deep breath in. All you can smell is beta now, but there’s something else too. You frown.

“This is a bad idea,” you hear Johnny say. Nerves rise in you as you look up at Simon. He looks sad, but you can’t get a read off him, and he never has a scent unless he wants you to smell it. Was it a warning? You walk into the hall and then you smell it. You almost can’t believe it. Your heart feels like it’s going to jump out of your chest. Your hands start tingling as you walk to the front door.

There she is.

Dr. Piper.

You feel sick. Your eyes widen. You can’t believe it. You flare your nostrils breathing her in, and it really is her.

It’s her scent, lavender. You never knew what that was until you smelled it in Johnny’s home. You look at John standing next to her.

You don’t know what to say, what to do. It almost feels unreal.

“You braided your hair,” she says smiling. Her voice cracks. You can see tears welling up in her eyes. She really is here, she looks different. Her hair is shorter, she’s not wearing her signature red lipstick, or her glasses. She doesn’t look like the normal put together Piper you know. She blew up a building and survived, it doesn’t make sense. You can see the dark circles round her eyes, her hands are shaking as she wipes tears away.

You swallow the lump rising in your throat but it doesn’t go away. Your hands go up to feel the braid, Johnny does it differently then the way she would do it. You look up at John who’s standing just behind her, You hear a gasp behind you and you turn around.

You see Simon and Kyle standing in the doorway. Kyle’s eyes are wide, his mouth open as he gawks at Dr. Piper. Simon’s expression is hard, his arms crossed. Kyle looks like he’s about to reach out for you. You don’t want him to touch you right now.

You mourned for her. For the second time, you thought she was dead and you would never see her again. You spent weeks punishing John for letting her die and she had been alive the whole time. You shiver as goosebumps rise on the back of your neck. Your hand goes up to rub it, it doesn’t feel the same.

There’s no bond anymore. You broke it when you thought she was dead.

You want to be alone. You take a step over to the door and Simon and Kyle part, letting you through. You go straight up the stairs. You go into John’s room slamming the door behind you and throwing yourself in the bed pulling the covers over your body completely.

Tears stream down your face. You reach up, grabbing a pillow. You breathe in his scent trying to make it calm you, but it’s not working.

She’s alive. She’s here. You broke your bond with her, you let her go. You grip the pillow letting out a loud sob. It’s not enough, you feel panic rise in your chest. You press your face into the pillow and scream as loud as you can.

next Dividers by Plum98 & gild-ui Beta reader and editor - rememberwren

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