#ask florida

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

why aren't there more mysteries that take place in nursing homes & retirement communities. i want to watch a group of deranged retirees-cum-amateur-detectives combine their powers of:

decades of life experience

boredom-fueled busybody shamelessness

access to the most gossipy next-door-neighbors in existence

"I am too old to be arrested and/or give a shit" attitude

and solve crimes. this should be an enormous subgenre.

[woodsmanwife]

My wife! I love that sharing pics of my wife has the ability to make so many guys feel so much better! Thanks for all the encouragement and messages! I love hearing from all of you.

[reality-detective]

Finally we’re calling things by their name! 🤔

[solarpunkani]

Hot 4am take but I feel like if we want to get people more interested in making their yards a more habitable space for wildlife like insects, we have to acknowledge that ‘Don’t want bugs in your house’ is still a 100% fair and valid point of view. ‘Loves nature’ and ‘doesn’t want roaches spiders and mosquitoes in the house’ aren’t opposites.

And with that in mind, when we propose to people that spraying pesticides around houses is Not A Good Idea, Actually, I feel like we need to give an alternative asides from ‘deal with it.’

[bruciemilf]

I finally understand why the crossover comic shoved Bruce and Logan together. Ultimate dad(s)

Emo white man with unresolved emotional issues ✅

Uses violence and adoption as a therapy tool ✅

Incredibly beautiful, badass goddess wife whom they love very much but just don’t know how to be with ✅

Divorced dad vibes without being married ✅

Badass non-verbal daughter with a lot of trauma whom they’d die for ✅

Girl dad energy ✅

Complicated relationship with a rebellious son who did try to kill them that one time ✅

They should have brunch

[constantly-deactivated]

Polk County Florida Sheriff - "You kill a policeman it means no arrest...no Miranda rights...no negotiations...nothing but as many bullets as we can shoot into you...PERIOD."

POLK COUNTY FLORIDA SHERIFF, GRADY JUDD

man in Polk County , Florida , who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop, ended up "executing" the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed. A state-wide manhunt ensued.

The murderer was found hiding in a wooded area. As soon as he took a shot at the SWAT team, officers opened fire on him. They hit the guy 68 times.

Naturally, the liberal media went nuts and asked why they had to shoot the poor, undocumented immigrant 68 times.

Sheriff Grady Judd told the Orlando Sentinel: "Because that's all the ammunition we had." Now, is that just about the all-time greatest answer or what❓

The Coroner also reported that the man died of natural causes. When asked by a reporter how that could be, since there were 68 bullet wounds in his body, he simply replied: (BEST QUOTE ever) . . .."When you are shot 68 times you are naturally gonna die."

[ratatatastic]

maffhew who refuses to say runebergin torttu because he knows hes gonna butcher it so bad he might be kicked out of the country the second he tries and staunchly avoids that by going "the one dessert that barky is going to have to explain 😃"

sasha who gets faced with the most generic description of everything hes ever eaten in his life so far because of maffhew and going "???... oh you mean runebergin torttu!"

"he did good he liked the food and he likes the finland so far so its good" sasha says with so much pride now that all the anxiety has left his system that his husband teammate is enjoying his country and doesnt hate it

media availability | 10.29.24 (x)(x)

the smile of a man who knowlingly doomed his husband and said husband using all his brain power to context clues his way to whatever the fuck he just got asked that his brain is running hotter than a mid 2012 macbook air thats somehow still alive in the year of the lord 2024 but girl does she chug along shes louder than a fighter jet

[fuckingflorida]

Link to tweet bc I don’t pay for that shit to download the video. According to comments on the tampabaysds IG the sheriff’s office has been hanging up on people who call but the most recent comments have said to keep calling (as of last night). I can’t find any more info on UF currently but will post if I do!

[suburbanbonfire]

I love how you draw the nhl players! Can do one of barkov?

a barky for your efforts!! and a bonus barky below

from my current wip. you can tell its barkov from the kind and gentle face

[i-give-you-a-fish]

Can I pretty please get a long boi?

LOOONG

You get a Florida Gar

Lepisosteus platyrhincus

[sialater18]

Anyone from Florida wanna confirm this for me

[slutdge]

when you die you will suffer and burn forever in the worst place imaginable for your sins

Check out this idiot that thinks you go to Florida when you die

[woodsmanwife]

How tall is your Wife?

5'-10"

[reality-detective]

Florida Sheriff Grady Judd says Americans are justified in using deadly force during a carjacking.

“When you start trying to carjack somebody’s car at a gas station, your subject to get shot and shot a lot.” 🤔

[habken]

bakugou seems the type to just kind of hunker down and go bush if he did end up getting lost in Australia if he goes camping while he's there, he's spiteful, resourceful, and he 100% read up on what to look out for in Australia so he knows not to stick his hands in any holes (though he might still box a kangaroo just to prove to himself he can lol)

Deku flies over to Australia in a panic and finds him munching on some bush tucker with twigs in his hair and going "what took you so fucking long"

very fun concept to think about deku frantically flying over to Australia to retrieve bakugou who’s been home aloneing it up down under

[cold-black-and-infinite]