#ask 2 tag /

[bisexualgenderfemme]

while some ppl do mean it as malgendering that's actually a really uncharitable way to read that phrase, esp ur use of 'inherent' in the tags.

we live under a patriarchal society, the way Men (as a class) affirm gender is through misogyny, and through defining themselves as The Opposite of women (particularly Not a trans woman.) Much the same way gay men can direct homophobia at "more gay" gay men as means to affirm their place in the patriarchy & claw back little bits of status, & the same way cis women can direct misogyny at other women as means to affirm themselves in the hierarchical structure of our society, trans men can weaponize misogyny & transphobia to affirm their gender. (the same way trans ppl can weaponize anti-transmasculinity / transandrophobia)

that phrase doesn't 'inherently' mean that trans men become shittier people when they transition, it's a structural statement: trans men are structurally incentivized to weaponize misogyny, especially transmisoginy, as means to define their gender as Men as a class. This is not the only way to affirm gender as a trans man, it's not inherent, but it is something that is absolutely a factor due to the society we live in. to say otherwise is to say that you are also inherently incapable of these things. that somehow trans men are the only group not incentivized to weaponize phobias & isms & etc. We absolutely are, just like anyone else is.

This is obvious to me as someone who spends time with both trans mascs & trans femmes (& ppl who don't fit either.) I am repeatedly offered moments to choose The Boys over trans women, to define myself as unlike them, to use misogyny to distance myself from them, & this mimics how women as a whole are treated.

Yes, obviously, trans men do not have the structural power that cis men have. but that's exactly why some trans men weaponize misogyny & trans misogyny, to define themselves as close to it as possible.

"Oh so we're not allowed to say 'trans men are men' anymore? So you think they're women? You're a transphobe?"

What they actually said: "Ugh, gross, trans men really are the men of the trans community."

Times like this are when I need more people to be aware of the term "malgendering," the kind of transphobia where someone validates a trans person's gender identity just to use it against them. We can all tell all you're doing is applying your negative stereotypes of cis men to trans men, and it's not transphobic to call you out on it. Trans men do not become shittier people when they transition and you are awful for implying they do.

[violetsandshrikes]

I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family

I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives

Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.

The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.

Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.

It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.

She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.

I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).

[molabuddy]

im normal<3

[ribghoul]

my girlfriend is able to take like a 20-min nap and bounce back with full energy. idk how she does that. when i lie down i wake up 12 years later in a hospital bed i rip the IV out of my arm and stumble into the hallway the whole building is littered with bodies, i make my way back to my house but my wife and children are long gone

[catboymoments]

Some messy doodles because I thought too hard about Hunter with the freeze/fawn trauma response n him and Camilas relationship💥💥💥

[voiddemon]

Making a post for my friends who don't really want to search through a sea of misinfo on what we know right now about the whole Trump getting shot situation:

The shooter was on a roof near the Rally, and crept up slowly. The shooter is a white male. His name is Mathew Thomas Crooks. He was registered to vote Republican in 2022, but he had also donated $15 to a Democratic organization in 2021. He was 20 years old. He used an AR-15. He was shot dead almost immediately after firing.

One Rally attendee is confirmed dead, and two others are in serious condition.

Trump's wound is a direct shot to the right ear, is currently nonfatal, and he claims to be 'fine'. He is currently still in very good health.

Biden has put out a very generic "praying for trump" statement, but has not said anything more on the matter.

Please remember the American Right is going to use this against us at every turn, and to drum up voter support. Be cautious of any new information about the shooting throughout this upcoming week, we do not know much of anything about the situation and everyone on both sides of the spectrum is jumping to assume things about the situation. Please turn up to vote this November.

This is a an updated, edited version of the original post with more pieces of information from the next morning. Edits are in Italics

[mail-me-a-snail]

IT'S A MIRACLE OF MODERN DAY SCIENCE!

there are some things biology didn't account for and i think medic would take it upon himself to find out what. i have an entrance exam coming up n i needed medic's dog teeth for moral support ok? ok.

[nebulover]

the "woman and nonmen" crowd makes me so upset as a bigender person. some people will see my genderqueer womanhood and cheer me on right up until they realize that the genderqueer part of my identity does in fact come from my manhood

like i cant wrap my head around how a lot of other trans people dont see anything wrong with defining nonbinary identities with binary terms

[aquapede]

a bunch of princess eyes i did for eye practice...not all of her vessels but most of them!

[luchsyy]

hello. does anyone remember them

[obscenicon]

THE GOOD END....

[violetsandshrikes]

this poor woman ended up in hospital because she ate cayenne + cinnamon coated orange (unpeeled) because there’s a health and wellness influencer with millions of views who recommends it for digestion - she burned her oesophagus

i always saw a few really good other additions of similar things on the comments

please be so, so careful taking advice from these people online, as many of them are not formally trained or educated, brand ambassadors, deep in pseudoscientific rabbit holes and unfortunately, there are many out there who struggle with disordered eating habits

(not mentioned here but another one worth noting: i have personally known people who have burned their oesophagus with viral apple cider vinegar shots and drinks. don’t do that. a burned oesophagus is not fun)

[molabuddy]

regret.

[room-of-lies]

served cunt and died, poor bastard

[catboymoments]

Thinking about how Hunter was probably so touch starved he sought out any comforting touch he could get even if it was just manipulation (I’m in the trenches)

HE’S JUST A BOY!!!!! HE WANTED TO BE LOVED!!

[sillypikmin]

draw the most fucked up and evil blue pikmin you can think of. im curious of your vision.

it came out kind of cute ....