#asian family systems in BLs

[waitmyturtles]

Your post about your upcoming Bad Buddy meta got me thinking about Bad Buddy (again), and I remembered one particular thing that had an impact. Apologies if this is long and rather incoherent, I wrote this past midnight.

In the final episode, the part where we see Ming and Dissaya turn a blind eye to Pat Pran's shenanigans really struck a chord with me.

[I'm an Indian, born and raised, and queer, but it's well worth mentioning that my experiences are not universal- in fact, they may be the exception rather than the rule; I'm not quite sure.]

What it reminded me of was, that asian parents tend to come around eventually- in particular mothers. We've seen time and time again in series' that deal with difficult/not accepting family members; Bad Buddy, GAP, Wedding Plan, maybe even Double Savage (haven't watched this one but I believe the dad feels bad in the end?), that even if the parental figure(s) doesn't agree with their children's choices, they learn to compromise. Because the difference in opinions isn't worth losing their children over. Obviously, for every parental figure that comes around there's one that the children cut ties with (Wedding Plan remains a good example), but I think it's something worth seeing.

It made me think of how I was never scared of coming out to my mother, because I knew that, despite the difference in views, and her prejudice, she'd accept me, no matter whether she thought it was a phase or not.

Do I know what the point of this ask is? Not really, I was rather nervous sending this ask, especially not on anon, but I'd love to know what you think of this, since I've come to really enjoy reading the thoughts you have on these shows.

Ohhhh, wow. @starryalpacasstuff, come 'ere for a big mom hug! HUGE HUGS!

I'm gonna unwind a little randomly; I hope this is coherent. A ton of what I write about on my blog vis à vis Asian dramas are the unique characteristics of Asian families and an Asian upbringing. Parental conditional love, competitiveness, our unique experiences with intergenerational trauma. I write a lot about how Asians, in our cultural expectations of life, accept pain and suffering as an assumed part of our existences. The reason why I watch Asian dramas exclusively is that, as I'm Asian-American, I just connect far more easily to the Asian cultural experience of growing from a child into an Asian adult, than I do the experience of white Western folks growing into their adulthood. I grew up intimately with Asian cultural practices and expectations; but I also grew up with racism in my external American world, and came to my adulthood in a society that still values white Americans above all other demographics.

But one thing I'm cognizant of, that I don't think I write about enough, is that many of these characteristics of the Asian cultural scopes of life are indeed similar to those that a fully American person (for example) might experience. It's not like intergenerational trauma doesn't exist in the West. It's not like homophobia in families against a child doesn't exist in the West.

However. As an Asian-American, one thing I note about many (not all, of course) Western families and family systems is that very often: Western adults will give up their agency to be loyal to what I might call a "higher power" -- a philosophy, a political preference, a religion. If a queer person wants to come out in a conservative American family, that queer person may very well be risking cutting permanent ties with their family.

That, of course, also happens in our Asian family systems. But I think you're onto something, @starryalpacasstuff. While divorce rates are sky-high in the West -- there is also a paradigm of family systems being and looking different in the West than they do in Asia. Asian family systems still don't accommodate for divorce and blended or chosen families as they do in the West.

The Asian family systems and paradigms that you and I grew up with as Indians absolutely still value a heterosexual two-parent household -- and I'd posit that our past generations, our grandparents and great-grandparents, put HUGE, HUGE pressure on our parents to keep the two-parent family systems together and whole. And to keep the children close. It's a huge value in our Asian cultures to have whole and complete families. The West has become far more accommodating, culturally, on this issue.

And, so. I totally agree with you, @starryalpacasstuff. I think we do see the beginning of a coming-around on the parts of Ming and Dissaya. And that coming-around is certainly something we can relate to. Our parents will likely accept us for our differences. I fucked a lot of shit up with my folks when I decided to live independently of their desires -- and I don't think things really healed (and I still carry tremendous traumatic baggage) until after I had my own kids, and expanded all of our families. Because in the end, the value in our Asian cultures is that keeping the family complete and close still matters more than any one's individual biases or desires.

Ming and Dissaya are remarkably traumatized people. Ming was traumatized by the expectations of his father. He screwed Dissaya over, and literally handed his trauma to Pat on a silver platter, for Pat to embody for most of his life. And Pat flipped that platter over in his father's face and ran away. Ming, at the end of the series, is passive-aggressive with Pat, despite Pat's efforts to try to work with him. And yet -- Ming still sips Pran's scotch.

To your point -- does time heal everything? I'm not so sure in the West, with the Western predilection for Christian/Puritanical/conservative values to supersede reasonable family resolutions. But I think, because of the value that Asian systems put on having complete families, that you are right -- that there may be more room in Asian family systems for eventual acceptance of a child's "differences," despite us living in collectivist societies. This is definitely not an absolute. There are environments in which it's still dangerous to come out. But the value that Asians put on family does indeed give us a tiny bit of comfort that our cultures can move the needle on acceptance in different ways over time.

[neuroticbookworm]

Another Thai BL, another Asian parent-child conflict that enrages the audience and yet, is extremely nuanced. I’m gonna try and speak on it as an Asian kid who grew up in the East, but currently lives in the West, carrying complicated feelings on the Asian parenting I received.

I’m seeing a good discourse in the tags from @lurkingshan, @respectthepetty, @bengiyo, @heretherebedork and @williamrikers, among others, on the hypocrisy of a dad who hit his son in anger and is now lecturing him on the importance of controlling one’s actions when angry. I agree with everyone that the dad is being a hypocritical piece of shit. But I do not think that this is a failure in the writing of the show. Quite the opposite, actually. Because of how Ten responds and acts in the face of this hypocrisy.

Ten comes across as belligerent and confrontational in every interaction he has had with his dad, but it is never uncalled for, and he never seeks it out himself. He tries to stay out of his dad and his stepmom/his dad’s girlfriend’s way as much as possible, and only responds in a defensive manner when provoked. And in today’s episode, he even kept himself open enough in the conversation with his dad, despite his anger, to concede and accept a very good point when raised. Ten understands his dad’s hypocrisy but refuses to stoop to the same level of pettiness because he knows being a good partner and a good friend is more important than being right. This is a mark of excellent writing, in my opinion. The main character is fiercely loyal to his partner and his friends and does not let his baggage with his dad cloud his course of action.

I also see calls for an apology from the dad already brewing in the fandom. And I understand the instinct to want that. It is always so satisfying when mistreated children finally get the apology that’s been long overdue. But it’s rarely this simple in an Asian household. Times are changing faster than most people can in a lifetime, and there are systemic, cultural flaws in how an Asian society understands and teaches parenting. And if we factor in the social, economic, religious lines that heavily influence how an Asian person forms their social circle, it would’ve left these parents with little to no peers who can tell them what they’re doing is wrong. Parents striking their kids is clearly considered evil nowadays, but only a few years ago, it would’ve been a perfectly acceptable response to control a bratty child, on and off screen (and it still is in some Asian cultures).

Now, NONE of what I said above is an excuse to write off the behavior of Ten’s dad as acceptable, just because it’s very Asian. As an Asian who grew up in the East, the demand for an apology does not particularly resonate with me, because Ten and his dad both know that their problems are not gonna go away as soon as Ten’s dad apologizes. Because:

If Ten starts demanding an apology for every shitty thing his dad has ever done, where should he stop? Should he demand an apology for the time his dad probably struck him as a kid when he was trying to get him to memorize multiplication tables, as is wont of every Asian parent ever (it is such an ubiquitous experience to Asian kids everywhere that there are reels with millions of views on IG, referencing this experience. Does this mean every Asian parent is evil and must be put on trial by their kids? Holy moly, think of all the money therapists would make if every Asian kid in the world decided to call out their parents on their shit. Entire economies would crumble to dust from the sudden disruption in cashflow.)

Is an apology going to comfort Ten? Asian parenting warps the sense of self of both the parents and the kids, because of the levels of abject sacrifice involved in it. It is extremely possible that Ten’s dad had worked day and night to provide well for his family, for his son, before Ten’s mom fell ill. It’s the same choice he made for his wife, but in this case, it paid off, because now Ten is financially well taken care of, and he is privileged enough to pursue a career in medicine. If Ten demands an apology from his dad for not being there when his mom was dying, do we know for sure that when he gets that apology, his mind won’t conflate the sacrifices his dad made for him, thus making him feel guilty for forcing someone who clearly cared about him enough to work hard for him, into defeat (look at this rich soup of Asian parenting misery, yum yum yum. I know it’s delicious because I’m paying my therapist weekly to make the broth less spicy).

The dialogue in the show whenever Ten’s mom is brought up and discussed is always very carefully worded:

Not “because you did not act”, but “because you took so long to act”. Looks like Ten’s dad made a choice that ultimately did not pay off. He cared, and he wanted to do something to save his wife, but whatever he chose to do ultimately did not help. And now she is dead and he has managed to not help and comfort his wife in her final days AND unwittingly traumatize his son with his absence. The show has painted this storyline with enough nuance that I don’t believe we are meant to read Ten’s dad as a simple villain, but rather a father who does care but has made some serious mistakes. This situation is so emotionally complicated and realistically, it’s gonna take years for both of them to find a middle ground. Ten is gonna have to grow up and make a few mistakes of his own in life to develop proper empathy for his dad, and that’s gonna put a couple things into perspective for him (I’m not saying Ten is bound to make mistakes because he is bad. He is going to because shit happens in life and human beings always do better in hindsight than in the moment). And the dad is gonna have to grow old and let his aging body humble him a little and shrink his ego enough to see that he had failed his son by not being emotionally available to deal with their trauma, together.

I’ve been watching Kim’s Convenience, a Canadian sitcom that follows a Korean-Canadian family and their shenanigans. I’m only on S04E02, but there is a father-son conflict at the centre of this show that is still not directly addressed by both the dad and the son. It’s been years (almost a decade, I think) since the son has been driven out of his home by his dad for a dumb mistake he made as a teen. And the way the show works on it is so infuriating, because it is so Asian. It is rarely addressed aloud in the presence of the dad or the son, lest it leads to anger and screaming and storming off. The path to reconciliation is built with mom calling her son for help to fix something in their home because his dad is too stubborn to ask for it. With the son visiting the hospital when the dad had to undergo surgery, and having their first real conversation in years which the dad forgets after waking up from the influence of pain drugs. With the daughter’s old phone passed down to the dad with her brother’s number on it, which leads to them texting each other. It is all extra frustrating for me because I’m extremely straightforward in my conversations with my parents. I do not like ambiguous endings to verbal conflicts because they are a ticking time bomb and I do not have the capacity to forget its existence and let it tick away in the background. But, I understand it when my friends, and Asian characters in TV shows, don’t want to force things out in the open if it can be swept under the rug for the time being, because peace of mind in Asian households is fleeting and you would be wise to take what you get.

Good TV shows can best serve their audience when they serve their characters, and stay true to the experiences of the people they are trying to represent. My teen ass was regularly shocked, appalled and intrigued by the sexual liberation promised by Western media I consumed while I was in school and college. I was surrounded by a sexually repressed society that was convinced that the only moral way to enjoy pleasure was after marriage with your partner. And very predictably, this means a lot of dead bedrooms, unhappy marriages and kids growing up with no real understanding of what romantic love looks like. I would’ve never had the courage to move my entire life to the West, if the Western media I watched had not represented its people in all their messy, horny glory, albeit with a rose-tinted lens on gender, race and sexuality.

Some Asian parents in media need to fall at the feet of their children and apologize. I remember being absolutely fucking enraged while @lurkingshan and I watched Double Savage at the behest of our friend @waitmyturtles, and in the finale, Korn was the one who fell at the feet of his absolute piece of shit of a dad to apologize for FUCKING NOTHING. And after Shan and I were done surviving that show, I remember telling my friends that most Asian media does not have strong writing whenever Asian children need to defy their shitty parents and come to terms with their destructive parenting, because chances are, most Asian creators would not have successfully done it. Hence, intergenerational trauma (gasp! It’s all connected!).

So. I would never demand to see Ten’s dad apologize to him to consider Cooking Crush a successful show, because that is not the cultural context this story operates in. Would I enjoy it if he does? Hell yes. Would I be mad if he does not? No, because Ten is proving him wrong time and again, and that’s a constant reminder from the narrative of who is in the right.

[telomeke]

Current Tag Game

Tagged by @colourme-feral in this post – thanks dearie! 💖

Current time: 9:59am (when I started this! it's now much later but I'm not gonna re-write...).

Current activity: Had a work deadline last night so tidying up the aftermath (deleting unwanted files, etc.).

Currently thinking about: How the project submission for work went. Annoyed that I skipped gym this morning just in case there were last minute changes to the project submission and we'd have to re-submit today; but now that's not needed I'm missing legs day. Also thinking about munching on something extra because breakfast was too light (hardboiled eggs, grapes and blueberries – all originally meant as a post-swim snack, re-purposed to become breakfast since gym was canceled). Maybe fry up an omelet and sausages, or grill some salmon? 😋 Or shall I just munch on some creamy Whittaker's milk chocolate since lunch will be soon and anything heavier might spoil it? 🤔  

Current favorite song: I don't know if they qualify as favorites, but songs will enter my brainspace and then swirl around in there for a while, refusing to leave. So I'm constantly listening to them (on YouTube, not Spotify; don't have a smartphone) and/or singing along in an effort to exorcise the earworm. At the moment the playlist in my head is:

I Don't Think That I Like Her Anymore (Charlie Puth)  Charlie constantly amazes me with his superhuman ability to churn out catchy melodic turns and unusual aural takes on percussion sounds for his backing rhythms (e.g., the light switch in Light Switch). This song continues with his quirky stylings, and I'm loving the pounding bass coming in to frame the heavyweight sock-it-ta-ya message of the song's chorus after the light plaintive vocals of the introductory and intervening verses. The second (melodic) line of the chorus ("Cause they're all the same") is so simple and yet so perfectly fitting after the bold hook of the first line – I find myself asking each time I hear it how could anything else ever fit better? And then it builds and builds to a big finish, at the end of each chorus and also at the end of the song – that key change from B Major to C# Major is quite a genius step, retro yet so fresh. (But still... C sharp? 👀 OK if your electronic thingamajig can auto-transpose but hell on a trad keyboard.) I know this song is from a year ago but I'm not simply wallowing in nostalgia (oh all right, so yes I am a bit) – there is nonetheless a BL connection that first got me hooked on this. The cast of my current fave I Feel You Linger in the Air did their own take on the TikTok Kpop dance challenge of this song (linked here, with other TikToks here) and they're just so cute dancing along. Nonkul attempts a little elbow jab in homage to the original choreo, while Bright gives up after a couple of bars and just goes on doing alternating wrist twirls like those you sometimes see in Southeast Asian dance… 🤣 Alee and Tian seem like they're having fun, as does Attila, but who knew Khun Robert could actually look this good, all goofy and charming when he smiles doing a silly little jig?

‌

All I Want for Christmas is You (Mariah Carey)  Ever since Ms. Mariah broke her icy containment after Halloween (see this video here 😂) I've been singing along, getting in the mood for carols, fruitcake and Christmas decorations because it reminds me of time spent with (departed) family. Happy because those are happy times worth recalling, but also bittersweet because those loved ones are no longer around.

‌

One of Your Girls (Troye Sivan)  While I tend to feel a pinch of resentment whenever Aussies of European origin seem to get opportunities in the West more easily than non-white people do, I have to remind myself it's the system and not the talent that is at fault. So credit where credit is due and I'm a fan of what Troye has done with this and his earlier releases (like his video with PP Krit 😃😍). One of Your Girls is just so beautiful and languid as it teases with its message, and consistently Troye is breathtakingly beautiful and languid in the video, teasing us with an offering of the forbidden. I'm feeling things I never thought I would. 😮 The choreography is pretty daring too. (Especially that crotch flare – where did they tuck the dangly bits? I'm wincing as I watch.) Also shout-out to all the different representation with the models. 😍

‌

Then I'm Gonna Give You Up (Rick Astley)  This is Rick Astley spoofing Rick Astley (more explanation linked here) and just so funny. Especially since the original song is already iconic on Tumblr.

‌

Fast Car (Luke Combs)  Another nostalgia trip, this is an absolutely stellar rendition of the already phenomenal original by Tracy Chapman. Almost like Marc Cohn's Walking in Memphis with its sense of urgency and of bottled emotions about to explode, maybe just a shade less of Marc's full-throated growl in Luke's voice, but earthshaking nonetheless. In these 21st century times (and in my corner of the world where BL and queer rep cross my dash all the time) I love that Luke (a married man with a wife and two kids, looking for all we know like the straightest of the hets) didn't change Tracy's line "So I work in the market as a checkout girl", paying homage to the original and smashing at the gender-obsessives everywhere in a quietly powerful way.

‌

Currently reading: My language study textbooks; not much time for anything else though I do miss having a good work of fiction to keep me company whenever the slate of Thai drama dips in quality.

Currently watching: I Feel You Linger in the Air – a really impressive work, solidly-grounded in its universe with overhanging familial, social and political intrigue that threatens to overshadow (but never really does) the chemistry between Khun Yai and Jom.

I've fallen in hard love with this and just hope that Tee Bundit will display the wisdom associated with his name (for those as linguistically-obsessed as I am, Bundit is the homologue for pundit in English, pandit in Hindi and pendita in Malay) and wrap up the finale with more finesse than he has done on his other shows. (Something tells me though that the sense of foreboding you get while watching IFYLITA is partly due to the dread that Tee is going to rush and stumble through the last bits, leaving viewers less than satisfied with the ending like he did with Lovely Writer, Hidden Agenda and Step by Step.) However this goes, I'm a new fan of Nonkul and Bright's acting, and can't wait to see more of them.

As to what else I'm watching – I'm still trying to finish Only Friends, if only to be able to say that I've finally watched a Jojo show all the way to the end. It's not for me, though it has some moments that shine (like Neo's performance, and all the shirtless scenes) but I struggle to find anything that satisfies on a more cerebral level. I'm not opposed to sensuality and messy drama being foregrounded over more intellectual underpinnings (all hail KinnPorsche) but for me it doesn't go earthy and raw enough to make up for whatever else it doesn't do.

Current favorite character: Pat and Pran from Bad Buddy will always be on this list, but because I'm currently enjoying IFYLITA I'm sure I've been visited by Por Jom, Khun Yai, Khun Ueangphueng, Ba Prik, Ming and Khun James in my dreams lately (and also a certain racing piglet 🤣).

Current WIP: All in my head, but I have a final wrap-up post on Bad Buddy locations percolating, as well as one on the graphics in the show (that give us hints of Pat and Pran's interior worlds).

Tagging names I've seen more than once cross my dash and/or notes:

@neuroticbookworm @airenyah @alexis-mika @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @wen-kexing-apologist @twig-tea @pandasmagorica @respectthepetty @dribs-and-drabbles @waitmyturtles @dimplesandfierceeyes @writerwithoutsound @bengiyo @grapejuicegay @lamonnaie @lurkingshan @callipigio @italianpersonwithashippersheart @recentadultburnout @kattahj @theheightofdishonor @fiddlepickdouglas @dc-alves @brazilian-whalien52 @slayerkitty @silvercrystal1 @dudeyuri @ranchthoughts @suni-san @chawarin-panich @lurkingteapot @solitaryandwandering

and anyone else who'd like to play. 😍 Apologies if you've already been tagged; point me to your post if so! And apologies if I've forgotten to mention anyone; if I follow or if you follow me please know you are loved and do play along if you wish! 💖

Also a special tag carved out for the lovely @visualtaehyun as a part-apology; you've tagged me before on a couple of other games and I wrote out about half of my replies – but then work deadlines became urgent and got in the way. Ruefully I had to abandon those posts (especially since they're now weeks out of date). So this is my way of saying thanks for tagging me on those tag games, sorry for not replying, and I hope you'll play along with this one because I love getting to know like-minded people on Tumblr! 💖

[absolutebl]

Any chance you have a “trope du jour” on “his family owns a resort”? I feel like this has gotten very common over the past two~three years. Maybe it’s a Thai thing? The Thai answer to the Korean/Japanese “his father is chairman of XYZ huge company”? Or just a convenient excuse for all the beach scenes they want?

The owning resort itself thing relatively recent (Star in My Mind, Between Us). And yeah, I think it is the CEO rich boyfriend trope. Aka the alpha millionaire effect. (Thank you 50 shades of imitation.)

The teaser ep 0 for Check Out was basically one long high heat advertisement for one resort.

The Thai tourist board has its mitts into funding BLs, so there is usually one or both forest/northern visit and beach/southern visit. I do track those tropes.

Beach trip

Forest frolic

Not a surprise, tourism is over 15% of Thailand's GDP.

If marriage equality is gonna clear through the Thai system it'll be partly because it's backed by the the tourism board with a destination wedding endgame. Can you not see the advertisement campaigns already? Taiwan is too expensive, politically challenging, and limited in its ability to capitalize on their marriage equality. Thailand, on the other hand, could make bank as the only globally recognized large nation state in the Asian area to offer gay marriage on a platter. (Tourism is one of the main reasons they legalized pot.)

Never discount capitalism.

Sure the social needle shifts with pop culture and young people's protests, but money talks loudest and sings with a much sweeter song than any Thai BL boy and his dubious guitar strumming ever could.

[tournament-winners]

before we get to it i promise im not actually a poll georg I just run a poll-collecting blog for my fandom so I have a lot of tournaments on hand. that said:

Multifandom:

AO3 top ships bracket

Badass queer couples tournament

Canon misogyny victims tournament

Chaotic neutral tournament

Cringefail loser summit

Crown and sash tournament

Dysfunctional family fight

Fell first / fell harder ships tournament

Found family tournament

Ghost bracket

Guess that ship tournament: s1 | s2 | s3 | s4 | s5 | s6 | s7

Guy yuri poll

Haunting the narrative tournament

Hybrid battle

Incredibly caked up individuals

MLM ship bracket: first | second

Overworked blorbo battle

Red-black aesthetic bout

Ungodly amounts of godly trauma

Would fuck their clone tournament

Semi-multifandom:

Queer books:

Queer book character tournament: s1 | s2 | champion battle

Queer book ship tournament

Webnovels (general): Aroace-spec webnovel character tournament

BL (general): Yaoi Election

Danmei (Chinese BL webnovels):

Danmei character tournament: popular | less popular brackets

Danmei tournament

Baihe (Chinese GL webnovels): Baihe character tournament

Asian BL TV shows:

Best kiss in a BL

Best siblings in a BL

Biggest green flag in a BL

Causer of gender envy in a BL

Most autistic swag in a BL

Most babygirl in a BL (Asian BL TV shows)

Most bisexual swag in a BL (Asian BL TV shows)

Most whipped character in a BL

Poorest little meow meow in a BL

Mo Xiang Tong Xiu's novels:

MXTX character you most want to study like a bug tournament

Ultimate MXTX poor little meow meow

Single fandom:

Great battle of The Untamed couples (The Untamed/Chen Qing Ling)

SVSSS character tournament (The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System)

TGCF character tournament (Heaven Official's Blessing/Tian Guan Ci Fu)

Tournament of Jiang Cheng's lovers (Mo Dao Zu Shi/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation)

wow this is a lot! thank you!

[iguessitsjustme]

My Top 10 Non-BL Asian Dramas

Believe it or not, I do watch my fair number of Asian dramas that are not BL. I just tend to binge them instead of watching week to week so I typically don’t post about them. So here is a list of my top 10 favorites that no one asked for.

(Since this is a list of non-BL shows, I did not include bromances like Devil Judge, Guardian, or Ghost Doctor on this list or it would be a very different list)

10. The King’s Avatar - Netflix - I did not know that I could like a show about esports until I watched this show. There are some things that I wasn’t particularly a fan of, but I mostly loved it. There was no romance to be seen. Just a bunch of people battling it out in video games and the drama actually had me on the edge of my seat.

9. Tale of the Nine-Tailed - Viki - I did not care for the romance in the story one bit which is unfortunate since it’s a large part of the show, BUT despite the romance not being to my taste, I still loved the characters. And of course I loved Lee Rang. I don’t care if he was evil and almost helped bring about the end of the world, he deserved better and I’m still mad at the ending he got.

8. Love O2O - Netflix - This show is probably the most out of place on this list but it is probably my favorite het romance. Bonus censored BL in there which I wish they could have gone more in depth with, but they did what they could. I love Xiao Nai and Weiwei’s relationship. They constantly communicate with each other and she was never once made out to be dumb because he was supposed to be the smart, perfect one. One of my favorite scenes is actually his friends hacking the school’s system to show the dumb gossip mill her report card because she is just as smart. The friendships are great too. The only thing I don’t like is that Erxi deserved way better than Cao Guang. He sucked the entire show and didn’t get any better. Erxi was only ever adorable and I will fight every single person that called her ugly.

7. While You Were Sleeping - Viki - This whole show was just an experience. And it was such an interesting concept. I love that the love triangle never even mattered but I hope Han Woo Tak finds someone one day because damn if he wasn’t the best character. Also this show made me very glad that I don’t have prophetic dreams. The romance definitely plays a huge part in this, so if you don’t like het romances than it’s not for you. But both characters are so cute and chaotic and a tiny bit unhinged and I would definitely recommend it. Plus the little found family they develop is wonderful.

6. The Gifted - Youtube - This is another show with such an interesting concept. I love the whole show a lot. It feels hard to talk about without spoiling everything, but I do need it stated that Wave is my favorite character. He was my favorite from the beginning all the way until the end. He’s the best, the smartest, and if you know me, you know I love the asshole characters. But a very specific brand of asshole and he fits it.

5. My Name - Netflix - This show is...fucked up. But I loved it. Especially the end. Sometimes, I just want to see a woman go on a one-woman rampage and murder everyone and everything. Anyway, pissing her off, then training her to fight, then extra special pissing her off might not have been the best move. This show is graphic and extremely dark. Do not watch this show unless you are 100% sure you can handle it and handle the violence.

4. The Uncanny Counter - I love a good fantasy element in my shows. I love that his hair went crazy for some reason. I love a disabled character, even though that went away when he got his powers. (minor spoiler) I love that when he loses his powers, and he’s disabled again, I love that he doesn’t forget how to fight. I love the found family and how they protect each other. I love eccentric billionaire man who is also a superhero. I just loved everything about this show tbh. Might be time for a rewatch.

3. Tomorrow - Netflix - This show just finished recently and I loved it. It also deals with heavier topics and it’s definitely not for everyone. This show is about a grim reaper trying to stop people from committing suicide so keep that in mind before going in. She is blunt and brutal but she says the things that people need to hear. And there are times when this show is very, horrifically sad. It almost made me cry (which if you know me, is impressive). Bonus for this show is that the main character, Joon Woong was also in Click You Heart which is weirdly how I became friends with one of my best friends in the world. Also, I don’t know how alone I am in this but I 100% ship Joon Woong with Ryung Goo. Those two love each other in their weird little way and no one will convince me otherwise.

2. Law School - Netflix - This show reminded me a lot of Devil Judge actually. Minus the bromance. But it’s got corrupt politicians, and one man who is facing it all. The music in this show is phenomenal and the characters are fantastic. There’s definitely a mystery over who murdered the teacher and the fact that their teacher is using himself and the fact that he is the number one suspect in order to teach his students is fantastic. I love how hardworking Kang Sol A is. They told us from the beginning that she had less natural intelligence than her peers. But she worked so hard and she cared so much and I love that the smartest student went out of his way to help her. And he was so proud every time she figured something out. Anyway if you liked Devil Judge, you would probably like this show as well.

1. Vincenzo - Netflix - This show is definitely not made for everyone but it was made more me. It was the exact right balance of absurd, chaotic humor and dark, gritty violence. The villains of the show think they’re so much smarter than they actually are and sometimes I just want to watch a show where the protagonist is constantly winning. Plus I may or may not be a little in love with Cha Young. If you ever want to talk about this show, I am literally always willing to talk about it nonstop. I can talk your ears off.

Let me tell you, choosing just 10 shows was so hard. I love so many. And across so many different genres. Most of the shows on this list ended up being Korean dramas, cause honestly, those tend to have the most violence and I love a good violent show.

[thefreeblog]

Came across your post about how difficult it is to be in a relationship with someone who has survived sexual assault. For me, I personally think they should have gone the more realistic route and shown Sky getting the help/therapy he needs. Kind of disappointed a little in that sense. It more or less came of as Prapai being the knight in the shining armour, which was the point of the show I get it, but still.

Sorry for the late reply anon.

Realistic route? in LITA? Well then Sky's dad shouldn't have left a 15yrs old boy to navigate through a new city and school on his own. Let's start there.

Sky should have reported his ex and his friends for raping him.

And he should have reported Prapai to the police for stalking him from multiple phones and turning up at his door step unannounced.

That's what realistic would look like.

Look I see what you are saying I get it, but its not that kind of a story, they were telling. For me, I never expect anything from a story when I watch something because then what is the point of it, if the stories are all how we want them to be?

Coming to the therapy part, would it have been great if they had showed Sky getting proper help? Yes. Did I mind it? No.

The reason because it was addressed, we saw Sky being able to handle the trauma of his ex on his own before Prapai came into his life. That's when everything came back to the surface, he was scared of getting into a new relationship even though he was falling for Prapai because how it all started.

So yes it was exactly Prapai being the knight in the shining armour kind of story because Prapai was the reason Sky was pushed back into his past again. Prapai was the reason Gun could corner him again alone. So yeah, as per the drama standards Prapai was the one who came last minute guns blazing to save Sky.

The other point to note here is even though a person does get therapy for the trauma they faced specially in sexual assault cases, it absolutely does help if you have a understanding partner on top of that. It's not interchangeable, you shouldn't have to chose between a therapist or a good partner?

If you get a partner who heals you what's wrong in that?

See my point of view is heavily biased because I come from a tight familial asian society. We believe in strong family support system. So I didn't find it odd that Sky looked for support to his boyfriend. Does it makes sense to you? I don't know, but it does make sense to me.

I do understand the importance of professional help specially if it's something which affects your day to day life, but I think it should not be generalized in all cases.

And if we are talking realistic, every other BL character needs therapy in my opinion. It would be long ass queue outside the therapist clinic in Thailand. 😅

Sorry this got long and may be not what you are looking for 🤷

[miyu-hyperfixates]

The Untamed and MDZS appreciation and recommendation post

Okay so fair warning to my small amount of followers, this blog will probably be full of MXTX contents starting from now, because I’ve fallen into MXTX’s hell and I don’t see myself climbing out any time soon.

I’m not even kidding in the span of three months, I’ve watched CQL (like 4 times), watched the special edition, watch the MDZS donghua, read the novel, read the manhua, read a fair amount of fics, discovered the SVSSS’s characters through a few crossover fanfics, started to read SVSSS, then TGCF (as well as their respective manhua up to the last translated chapters) and well generally immersed myself into the fandoms. And I LOVE it! And I have so, so many feelings and thoughts about the characters, the plots, the relationships, everything, that I don’t even know where to start! 

Okay so for those who don’t know what the hell I’ve talking about. MXTX stands for Mò Xiāng Tóng Xiù who is the author of three amazing novels: Mo Dao Zu Shi (MDZS) [also called Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation], The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System (SVSSS) and Tian Guan Ci Fu (TGCF) [Heaven Official’s Blessing]. The Untamed or Chen Qing Ling (CQL) is the chinese drama adaptation of her most well known (as of now) novel MDZS.

I am going to talk about CQL/The Untamed and MDZS (novel version) in this post... But it will probably be followed by posts about TGCF and SVSSS too.

I’ve tried to be pretty vague on several points so that should keep the spoilers at minimum, in case you didn’t watch CQL yet.

[More under the cut] 

Okay so as someone of Asian descent who was born and raised in an European country and spent her formative years watching wuxia and xianxia, The Untamed/CQL is the kind of representation that I really didn’t know I needed and I am so, so glad that I gave it a chance. (Big, big thanks to @shit-happens-bitchachos for reblogging so much CQL contents that the frequent presence of it on my dash got me curious  enough to start watching it).

Watching The Untamed for the first time feels like coming back to a home that you once thought would be frigid but actually became very warm and welcoming without you noticing because you have been away for so long. And it feels both nostalgic and new, in the best possible way. It’s a wonderful feeling, really. 

Where to find it?

You can watch the drama english sub version on Netflix, Viki or Youtube, just typed “The Untamed” and you should find the episodes easily.

To be honest, though I am very thankful for the existence of such platform, I have a slight [read huge] dislike of Netflix’s choice of translation for any Asian movie/tv shows. I mean I’m not going to go off on a debate about official translation vs fan translation, nor westernization and how doing so not only take off a huge layer of subtle/or not so subtle communication but also participate to erase part of the culture. [Because I have opinions about this and I am still very much so cringing about all the “Yanli”s, it is really not the point I’m trying to make right now. ]

So out of the three version, I’d lean more on the Viki version. To be clear though this choice isn’t based on the accuracy of the translation, but strictly on the choice of naming and title convention.

As for the novel, you can find  here a complete english translation made by the Exiled Rebels Scanlations group.

The plot

I’m not going to go into detail about the plot, because I’m sure a lot of people out there managed to do so in a way more articulate way that I ever could.

So basically CQL is about Wei Wuxian, aka the Yiling Patriarch. The Yiling Patriarch is like this huge urban legend that everyone warns their children about, except he actually existed. Why such a reputation? Well, in a Cultivation society where people used spiritual energy to fight and exorcise creatures full of resentful energy (such as ghost, ghouls and other things), the Yiling Patriarch is actually the guy who decided that he was going to use resentful energy to fight resentful energy. What he is doing is called “demonic cultivation” and if you want a western equivalent it would be quite close to using necromancy. And if you want an idea of how blasphemous such method of cultivation is deemed, it would be the equivalent of going to a Christian exorcist organization and yelling loud and clear to all the people there that you’re gonna desecrate the tombs of all holy people and use their corpses to fight ghost and other dark creatures.

So the legend/story of the Yiling Patriarch goes as follow: The Yiling Patriarch and his army of corpses were actually quite useful to turn over the tide of a war that shook the foundations of the Cultivation World, annihilating the strongest Sect of the five Great Cultivation Sects (that lorded over the cultivation society). But some time afterwards the Yiling Patriarch revealed his true colors, and killed more than 3000 cultivators (among them his elder sister and her husband - orphaning their one month old son) before finally ended up being killed by his own little brother.

And now sixteen (or thirteen in the novel) years later, Wei Wuxian’s soul got called back because of a dark ritual. The ritual involved giving up their own soul and offering their body to summon up the soul of a dead, evil, person. The soul summoned would have to accomplish the task the summoner wished for, or the soul would be forever destroyed without being able to ever reincarnate. And so, Wei Wuxian woke up in the body of Mo Xuanyu, a young man who was abused by his family and wished for revenge. While trying to work out what he is supposed to do, Wei Wuxian quickly realized that the Mo family is actually being targeted by fierce corpses that are acting way more aggressively than they should. Turns out that it was because of a possessed spirit sword [a cut out arm in the novel].

Afterwards he encounters Lan Wangji, an esteemed cultivator, one of the strongest of his generation, coming from one of the most righteous Cultivation Sect. And the thing is, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji appear to have quite a complicated history that dates back to their teenage years. And CQL/MDZS is not only about how they decided to investigate the mystery of the possessed sword/arm (which ended up digging up a lot of secrets and conspiracy ), but also about Wei Wuxian’s past, starting from when he was 15 and meeting Lan Wangji for the first time.

The few things that you’re probably going to feel/think while watching the few first episodes

Confusion I think I’m not even kidding when I say you’re supposed to be in a state of perpetual confusion for the first two episodes... There’s this huge info dump, in the first five minutes of episode 1, then you’ll have to navigate this new world feeling as confused as dead-for-sixteen years Wei Wuxian... You’ll meet dozens of characters and if you can’t remember their names or who they are it’s normal don’t worry. Each character has a birth name (Wei Ying, Lan Zhan) and a courtesy name that (Wuxian, Wangji)... And so if you see Wei Ying or Wei Wuxian just know that it refers to the same person. And to complicate things further some characters also have a title (Yiling Patriarch, Hanguang-Jun)  other people might use to refer to them. So really, if you want to understand what is going on, you might want to note the name, title and relationship down... But it’s kinda tedious?  I promise it is unnecessary as those characters will all be introduced properly in the flash-back starting at the end of episode 2, and you’ll fully be able to get used to them and keep track of them. Of course, if you managed to remember a few names, once the character is being introduced in the past, you’ll get a “ Oh so at some point, this is going to happen to them” sort foreshadowing/foreknowledge, which is neat, I guess. [I recommend going back to watch the first two episodes, once the flash-back is over, to fully grasp what was going on there].

What the hell am I even watching? Okay so this one might only just be me but I was pretty hooked by the story by episode 3... and then I reached episode 8 and 9 and I kid you not, I went “Oh boy... that’s.... yeah okay... *cover face with hands*”... So I was cringing pretty hard for those two episodes out of second-hand embarrassment at the extras actors acting level... Like woah... It was supposed to be scary and threatening and all but I couldn’t just take them seriously? (You’ll know what I’m talking about when you get there)... That with some plot points made me seriously consider stopping right there.... But thankfully I didn’t. So you really just need to pass the first two episodes [which are really good] and cringe your way through the two most abyssal episodes in the show (in my opinion) and everything will go smoothly afterwards.  Though to be fair, it might be explained by the fact that no one expected that CQL would have the highest number of reviews of Chinese drama, nor that it would be the highest earning drama of 2019 and certainly not that it would accumulate 8 billions views on Tennent by May 2020. Where am I going with this?  Well it was certainly no Game of thrones in terms of budget... That’s what I’m trying to say. It had a low budget production... and well in a fantasy world where everyone and their grandma use supernatural power to fight each other and demonic creatures, special effects are a must. Choices had had to be made [and while I am very thankful for the aspects they decided to use the money on] the special effects were very touch and go.

Okay but are they going to be together or is this another case of queerbaiting? So if what you’re asking is “will we ever get a kiss, a love confession or definite proof of their relationship?”. The very short answer is “No.” You’ll never see any of those on screen for the very simple and good reason that there are censorship laws in China regarding queer relationship on screen. “So it’s basically queerbaiting?” Again no. CQL was adapted from a BL chinese novel. In the novel there is absolutely no room for doubts that they are together. But because of the censorship the producer teams had to remove all definite and obvious proof of romance, but it also means that they had to be creative and anything in the subtext or subtle areas was a go. Like really they crammed more homoerotic text (like at this point is this even subtext) in the show than in all other kinds of adaptations (including the novel, where we get kissing, sex and eloping). It got the point that contrarily to the novel, donghua and manhua where the whole Cultivation world thought Lan Wangji hated Wei Wuxian and that they couldn’t stand each other,in the show everybody and their dogs knew that the two were very close.  Also, while I absolutely hate that those censor law exist and am very disappointed that such homophobic mentality still exist and that we won’t get a full adaptation and explicit of their love story, I must say that because of this my demisexual ass absolutely love the depiction of their love in the show. I mean, when you don’t have the “easy way out” of kissing and sex and so all to show that they is definitively romance material going on here... You have to get creative, you have to convey it with all other gestures... touching, gazing at each other and so on... And it creates such a soft but intense  and intimate environment around them...By the way I’m not trying to negate their sexual relationship in the novel (#LetWangxianFreelyExpressTheirSexualLives)... I’m just saying that I’m not sure the producing teams would have gotten to such a length in the show if they could just have adapted the explicit romance scenes. Now if somehow they’d had managed to keep the same level of intense subtext and be able to adapt the romance scenes too, that would have been the best, but well...

The reasons you should still absolutely watch/read it? 

The plot

The way all those character journeys and stories are interwoven in such a cohesive picture is nothing short of amazing. And the way that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji unravel events that happened more than a decade ago piece by piece [or rather body part by body part] is so very well done. And of course half way through, you think that you’ve got the full pictures, and you’re sort of gloating all the while because you see it coming from miles away and how can the cast be that stupid... And well you are not wrong. Watch out for the canary though.   The show chose to move a few things in term of timeline (character appearing and events happening way before they were supposed to... )... They also added a few original plot points in the past.... So as a results it feels slightly less cohesive and coherent than in the novel. Anyway I won’t go into details here because I’ve got this super long post planned where I’d detailed all the differences between the novel and the show and why some things worked in my opinion but not other. CQL and MDZS are what a properly balanced plot-driven and character-driven show/novel look like.

The relationships

Of course, Wangxian (Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji) should absolutely be mentioned. Because throughout the story in the past, you watch as young, wild, ingenious, thinking-out-of-box Wei Wuxian meet an equally young seemingly inflexible, impassive, following 3000+ rules in his daily lives Lan Wangji, you watch how their personality clashes before finally acknowledging each other skills, you watch how they hurt during the war, how quickly they had to grew up, you watch how one of them had to watch the other walking down a quickly crumbling path, being alienated by the world without being able to help, you watch how they lost each other, before finally finding each other again after sixteen/thirteen years. And then you can finally watch how soft they are with each other, how in-sync they are, the trust, the devotion, the willingness to stand by each other against the whole fucking world. And as I already mentioned before, because of the censure law in China, you’ll never can’t and will never get to see Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian say “I love you” to each other on the show. It still manages to convey “I love you” in every other possible way without having them actually say the words. I mean at this point it can’t even be considered subtext... It’s plain text written in bold underlined font that can be read in every single one of their interactions, and sometimes even when the other isn't even there, [It's basically subtitles! Hah! Okay getting out of there].

It helps that the chemistry between the two actors is absolutely mind-blowing. And the acting is nothing short of amazing. If you’ve been in the spn fandom then you might know that Jensen is king of the micro-expressions ... well I’m afraid that he has been dethroned by Wang Yibo (Lan Wangji’s actor) in my mind.

But really, wangxian is not the only relationship worth mentioning in CQL/MDZS. One of the other huge highlight in my opinion is the several siblings dynamics. There are about seven sets of siblings among the whole cast and because shitty, shittier and shittiest parents were apparently the norm for their generation, we get to see the trope of “eldest child basically raised their younger siblings” in five different flavors. Of course the main focus is on Wei Wuxian and his siblings, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t see the sheer care and protectiveness oozing out of the other four sets of siblings. As someone who loves family bonding (and especially found families), I really appreciate the fact that among those sets of siblings, there are some that are related by blood, some who are half-siblings and some who are not related biologically but consider themselves siblings regardless. And while all their relationships are different - because they are different people - they all do share the same love for their siblings.  “How far are you willing to go for your siblings?” “How much are you ready to sacrifice for them?” The show answers those two questions in various all throughout the story in a more or less oblique way, and right there lies the motivation behind a lot of the characters’ actions, good or bad. Their relationship with their siblings is actually one of the major driving force of the characters (Wei Wuxian among them). And I love it, because it shows that love comes in a many, many forms.

  The overarching themes

“What’s right, what’s wrong? Who’s good, who’s evil? Who’s strong, who’s weak?”

In such an elitist society who will judge you at the drop of a hat (especially if you have the bad taste of coming from a more unfortunate lineage), how can you define the difference between “right” and “wrong”? Wherein the midst and the aftermath of a blood thirsty war, the distinction between “good” and “evil” more often than only lies on where you were born and/or your family name rather than where you actually stood or what you did in the war. This right here is the very huge underlying theme that is being woven throughout the show/novel. Not only are we, the viewer/reader, invited to think/judge for ourselves based on the actions of the characters... But our main character, Wei Wuxian verbalizes those doubts and questions explicitly a few times and implicitly in the stand and choices that he decided to take. And due to Wei Wuxian’s influence, Lan Wangji who is used to follow his 3000+ rules on a daily life basis without ever questioning them, starts to do so. (“Do not befriend evil.”, “Be righteous.” )  What does it mean to be righteous? Must the notion of righteousness always align with general opinion? How do you define the ‘evil’ that you are not supposed to befriend? Is my definition the same as yours? Is my definition the same as the rest of the world? And if it is not the case, does it necessarily means that I’m in the wrong?  And the very obvious answer to those questions is “No, there is no visible line between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, ‘good’ or ‘evil’... Nor is there any universally agreed on way to act in order to fit in one category or the other...” And this answer is illustrated in all the ways those numerous characters are depicted: their love, their hatred, their fear, their pain, their joys, their tears, their motivations, their frustrations, their shortcomings, their hidden or not so hidden agenda, their flaws... All of them are depicted in such an awesome and wholesome human way.  They are not fully good or fully bad, they are human, with all that it entails... Main characters and main villains included (or rather, I’d say especially them) [Though the show tended smooth and cover this aspect a little bit more than the novel in my opinion]  

“Don't you understand? When you’re standing on their side, you’re the bizarre genius, the miraculous hero, the force of the rebellion, the flower that blooms alone. But the second your voice differs from theirs, you’ve lost your mind, you’ve ignored morality, you’ve walked the crooked path.” (Jiang Cheng)

Another theme that is strongly address here is the matter of “Public Opinion”. Despite (or rather because of) how fickle it is, public opinion, rumors (no matter how unfounded) could so easily ruins your reputation, your standing. And if you loose their favors than all your previous actions (no matter how praised it had been in the past) would be seen with a blackened lens. I remember feeling as frustrated as Wei Wuxian at the lack of logic, the rhetoric employed and the sheer hypocrisy that had been portrayed by the mass. I think that there is one character that can be easily recognized as the pure personification of “Public Opinion”, he is without a doubt meant to be the “voice of the mass, of the bystanders whose opinions shouldn’t really matter but actually does a lot”. I won’t tell who it is, it’s pretty obvious if you watch the show... And I think that we are meant to feel annoyed at such characters. I think we are meant to be as frustrated as that one character who at a mass gathering tried to make a stand, tried to do the right thing, but was quickly shut down with dubious rhetoric and blatant disregard because their voice didn’t carry enough power. And last but not least, the show/novel broaches the issue of how social standing is considered very, very much dependent on your circumstance of birth. Like I said before the cultivation world in CQL/MDZS is inherently elitist. In order to be able to cultivate you must learn the proper techniques and at a quite young age. But it is not something that you could do on your own unless you’re some kind of genius or prodigy. Which means that you must attract the attention of a nearby sects or begs them to take you in as a disciple. It means though that you’ll probably start a little later than the disciples that were born directly within the sect [inner disciples], meaning you’ll probably end being weaker. However even if by some truly dedication and perseverance you manage to the same level as the inner disciples, you’ll still only be seen as an outer disciples, nothing more than cannon fodder in the eyes of society. In all the major sects, there is a distinctive mark, objects that only disciples coming from the sect family line are allowed to carry, as an irrevocable sign of their high standing in society and their inherent privileges. There are some exceptional circumstances though where someone of low birth status might reach this elitist sphere. But no matter how high they reach, how outstanding they are, in some way they will always be reminded (sometimes behind their backs, sometimes subtly, sometimes right in their face) of the stigma of their birth. There are three characters in particular, whose journeys mirror and foil each other a lot.   And I think it is very interesting to see this “son of a prostitute” or “son of a servant” or “street rat” or “bastard” advanced through society. They all received very different upbringings, despite all starting more or less at a low point. And I liked that the way they decided to live later on and how they tackle/handle the cultivation world  is very much reflected and influenced by their upbringings rather than the circumstances of their birth. It brings up this very strong message that, if they are the way they are it is not because of who their parents are, but rather how the people around them reacted to them. The way they are right now is not the fruit of their birth but a direct consequences of the rejection/acceptance of society. And so when you look at them, you can’t help but see their journeys as a three forking road paths reflecting the other like twisted mirrors. You look at their actions now, then back their different circumstances and you can’t help but think “Ah, that is what might happened if things were different.” [There is a reason that canon-divergence and time travel fix-it are my favorite tropes... my bias is really showing here... haha] And it really, really hammers on the importance of kindness in the face of misery and discrimination. Kindness  and acceptance at the right moment, no matter how small can change everything. Sometimes, something even as small as a candy.  

The movie sets and props So I mentioned before that the budget of CQL really wasn’t that high and they had to make choices. And I could only applaud their choices, because really, wah! Just look at the main sects locations, the scenery, the backgrounds. It’s so beautiful!! [Had I had any gifing talent I would have included them so that you could get the full mind-blowing experience... so I’ll just send you to @gusucloud​ blog, where all the gifs and edits are amazing, (Cloud Recesses here and Lotus Pier here) and in this post  have my lame-ass screenshots instead.]

The fine details, the workmanship in most of the props in the background, the swords!!! *Incoherent flailing*

[I didn’t manage to get any close-up of the swords... but believe me, they are piece of arts!]

The music

The soundtrack of the show is absolutely amazing and beautiful.

You know how in movies and tv shows couples always seem to have “a song”... like “Oh! Look our song is playing!”... Weeeeeell...

Wangxian do too and it’s literally their song, as in their actors are singing it. You can of course hear it in the ending, but... but! I think the way it was used within the episode was very striking. It’s one of the many ways the producer teams managed to convey the romantic aspect of their relationship. And it was very well done.

Wuji, by Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo

Wuji, instrumental piano + flute + Zither version

Just imagine, dude just resurrected from his 16 years of deadness and you see him moping at night by playing this beautiful tune with a freaking leaf... just because he saw some cultivators wearing the same uniform as Lan Wangji... So at this point you know that this song might means something but well, you don’t really get it...

The second time you hear this tune, we are on a mountain, and it’s through a bamboo flute that Wei Wuxian used to appease and calm down an agitated corpse [who he apparently knows]... He is luring ‘it’ out to a safe place, so he is playing the song while slowly moving back one step at a time. Then his back suddenly bumps into someone... This person catches his hand. The flute playing abruptly stops and the full instrumental version with piano+flute is suddenly blaring out in the background. And then it’s as if the whole world stops as they gaze at each other, while the music keeps playing. And really, you might fully understand the weight of their gazes, or their history, but you know that it’s there... That’s the moment where you look at them looking at each other, grasping at each other wrist, where you can still hear their song in the background... and can only go “Oh. Oh.”  [Then of course a purple ball of pure anger just had to come and interrupt them. Excuse you, they were quickly having a moment there. Kidding aside, It was such a nice scene, it’s hand down one of my favorite scene of the whole show, and the music played a really huge part in my opinion.]

And if it wasn’t enough to hammer it down. The third times will definitively do it. So both of them are fifteen years and meet each other for the first time, when Wei Wuxian goes to study at Lan Wangji’s sect. Of course there first impression of each other is disastrous, what’s with Wei Wuxian insisting to come inside despite having lost his invitation and Lan Wangji clearly stating that no one is allowed without invitation. Of course it doesn’t help that after running back to fetch his lost invitation, Wei Wuxian snuck in after curfew (breaking a protective ward on his way), while smuggling two jar of alcohol. All of the above are forbidden in Cloud Recess, by the way. So our boy just casually broke three rules and then who catch him, right when he is climbing over the wall? Lan Wangji, who’s on patrol, of course. [Like I said, disastrous first impression]...And so after frostily listing all the rules Wei Wuxian broke not even five minutes in , Lan Wangji tries to bring Wei Wuxian to be disciplined. Wei Wuxian, of fucking course, resists. And the two proceed to fight (sword and all).

Cue their song playing as they cross swords on the rooftop of Cloud recesses, under the light of a full moon night.

If that is not a meet-cute I don’t know what it is.

Anyway this song is played many, many more times in the show and I’m not talking about them because I don’t want to spoil anyone.

Also as an aside, they don’t appear in the show... But there are character songs that have been recorded. Some of them sung by the actual actors and other not. And while all of them are really good, if there is absolutely one that you must listen to, it’s “Bu Wang” by Wang Yibo the actor of Lan Wangji.  Make sure to watch the official MV only after watching the whole show (because it’s spoilery) and to activate the cc for the lyrics translation. It’s such a beautiful and painful song; and a very insightful reflection of Lan Wangji’s character.  I love it.

Lan Sizhui and A-Yuan

No argument or explanation needed, you’ll see when you get there. I dare you not to like those small fluffy cinnamon rolls! 

The Junior Quartet

Okay those ducklings deserve a whole sub-section on their own. Not only because they are all amazing kids but because of what they represent.  

What is really great here is that since the story takes place over the span of 16/13 years, you get to see three different generations at various stage of their development. In the past you get to see the parents generation at their sum-up while there child, the following generation [Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji etc] from their teenage years to young adulthood. Then in the present you see the teenagers reaching the age their parents were (more or less, probably slightly younger) and the next generation (the ducklings) about the same age as Wei Wuxian’s generation were at the beginning. And the juxtaposition between the two pictures is just so, so very telling because the differences are glaring.

I’m going to borrow the words from qrbat who wrote this wonderful fanfiction, “tell some storm” on ao3.

The parents generation was a generation of Pride and Greed, it was a generation that lauded standing your ground no matter what and refusing outsider help. They were the generation which raised their children as a “generation of War”. A war that they started and that their children, teenagers, had to fight and end for them. And in comparison the junior generation seems so unexperienced so soft... and that’s a good thing, because it means that those children hadn’t had to experience the hardship of war, hadn’t had to grow up so fast because they basically didn’t have any decent parental figures to help them. Instead of perpetuating the cycle of hate and war started by their elders, the generation of War raised the next generation as a generation of peace, as a “generation of Love” and acceptance.

And it is amazing because the juniors, simply by being who they are, are embodying  this  message from Wei Wuxian’s generations to their parents “See? This is what it means to parent. I had to sacrifice my childhood and innocence to fight your war and I still managed to raise such amazing and kind children, what was your freaking excuse? I will not be like you. Times are changing and they are changing for the better.”

.

.

*Look at length of the post* *snort* Right. Okay, would you believe me, if I told you that in the beginning this post was supposed to be an appreciation post for all three of MXTX’s works and not just MDZS because I was afraid it would be too short? Yup so turned out I had a lot more things to say than I thought.  Please feel free to react or just message me about anything MXTX’s fandom related... I am desperately in need of friends to discuss with about MXTX’s stuff!   

[longinglook]

honestly to see a homophobic father in bl's isn't as unrealistic as some might think. it's overused but the setting of most of these series is in school/university so using the family as support system or for drama makes sense. i sure as hell know my dad would disown me if i ever revealed to him that i'm gay. many of my (mostly) asian friends would agree.

that’s absolutely true. I think a distinction needs to be made between actual overused tropes and situations that happen ofthen in shows because reality is like that. 

What I mean when I talk about the “father trope” is more about the whole “you must break up with my son but you can’t tell him I said so” thing, which is so frustrating because it usually leads to trama that could be avoided if the characters communicated.

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Until We Meet Again Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. In a LONG POST, I’m writing today about New Siwaj’s incomparable drama, Until We Meet Again.]

TW: suicide, suicidal ideation, psychological trauma

Gah. I am so psyched to be finally sitting down to write my thoughts on Until We Meet Again, but I’m actually at a bit of a loss on where to start. There is SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.

I think, where I can start, is to first say that this was, in my opinion, AN ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR SHOW. I did NOT expect this, at all. I’ve been around the way with New Siwaj, the UWMA screenwriter and director, a few times now for the OGMMTVC -- his writing on Love Sick, his work with Cheewin on Make It Right, and his work on MAME’s novel in Love By Chance have all been on the OGMMTVC list. I know that Between Us, the UMWA WinTeam continuation, was considered mostly a let-down for weak writing, and that New’s more recent shows, including A Boss and a Babe and Double Savage, were viewed quite critically (although I am a Double Savage apologist, for which I’ll explain my viewpoints later in this post). 

So. What I did not expect from 2019′s UWMA was to experience so many layers in a drama à la the work of Aof Noppharnach. Yes, I cannot believe I’m going here, to compare a New Siwaj drama to Aof’s oeuvre, but damn if I will, because good lord, New took his magic hat of tricks, pulled out THE GOOD STUFF, and made it all work. 

This is a list of themes that I saw in UWMA, that will help me structure this long write-up, but by no means should it be considered complete, as I’m sure I’m missing themes that you all likely caught in your watches and re-watches:

1) A new narrative structure for New -- balancing the impact of side couples by leveraging focus, equally, on two MAIN couples 2) The continuation and end of the 2019 trend of reincarnation and spiritual connections to love 3) Intergenerational queer trauma (micro-level) 4) Generational acceptance of queerness (macro-level) 5) Food and its Proustian effect on memory 6) Reflections on filial piety and the devastating effects of expectations -- and how children and parents seek redemption, particularly in New’s work

And before I even dive into THIS list, can I just say: MY GOD, FLUKE AND OHM. And Earth and Kao! But FLUKE AND OHM. Jesus, does New have an eye for talent -- from the Make It Right guys, to Perth and Saint, and then to Fluke and Ohm. I was seriously TAKEN with their chemistry. I did hear from a number of folks during my UWMA live-blogging that they can’t rewatch UWMA because of Fluke/Pharm’s rendition of the blushing maiden trope, but for my tastes -- I think the way he rendered the trope was really necessary to communicating Intouch’s story, history, and emotions, and just -- Fluke just ATE this role, my gawd. And Ohm/Dean responding in kind vis à vis Korn’s regret. YOW. It’s been a few days since I finished the show, in a total RUSH of drama hunger, and I’m still shaking my head and MARVELING at their performance.

Okay, back to the themes list. So, early in my Thai BL journey in the fall of 2022, after I had watched KinnPorsche and The Eclipse as my first two Thai BLs, I watched A Tale of Thousand Stars (way before the OGMMTVC was born), and noted that I appreciated the lack of side couples in the ATOTS storyline. I now realize, through the OGMMTVC, that side couples are both a BL trope and a byproduct of the drama styles from which BLs were born, the ensemble-based dramas like Love Sick, Senior Secret Love, and Kiss/Kiss Me Again.

New’s Make It Right -- while beloved in my heart, for the chaotic duos of TeeFuse and FrameBook -- WAS messy, with all the other couple stuff happening around it. That, along with Love By Chance, made me wonder -- why do BLs that center fabulous dyads with sizzling chemistry take away from that energy with all the side couple action? Even Together With Me, a non-New Siwaj and non-GMMTV drama, got sidelined in part with a VERY questionable side couple plot in BrightFarm.

Reflecting back on KP and The Eclipse, I had that question in mind as I started UWMA, and wondered where the Alex and WinTeam storylines were going to go. But, frankly, I ended up appreciating what NEEDED to happen with DeanPharm and KornIntouch, because -- the original novel storyline clearly demanded that these two couples, who were NOT side couples, but MAIN couples, needed a MAIN spotlight for their collective story to be told. @clairificusrex mentioned in a liveblog comment (THANK YOU, LOVELY HUMAN!) that New Siwaj benefitted in the screenplay from having a wonderful original novel to work with, and while I don’t read Y Series canon, I can only imagine that this was indeed the case.

So, New, in order to hew to the novel, had to perhaps hold back his usual instincts to muss up the main couple vibe, by centering DeanPharm and KornIntouch. With that control necessary to the story -- I think the narrative STRUCTURE of the drama just blew open. It was FASCINATING, it drew me in, and the structure allowed for another New predilection to be leveraged WELL, in his love for flashbacks. @lurkingshan, you mentioned that your taste wasn’t necessarily aligned with New’s fancy for flashbacks, which I totally understand -- I think flashbacks hurt the overall narrative structure of Double Savage earlier this year. But I think, here for UMWA, they were necessary, and I might very well be apologetic to that considering what I DID see in Double Savage by way of the story that New ended up screenwriting over there in regards to intergenerational family trauma (again, more on this later in the post).

This narrative structure lent itself handily to the next four themes on this list, all of which deal in memory, in spiritual roots, and/or in the generational passage and inheritance of trauma and emotion. 2019, as we know now, was a big year for shows themed around Thai spiritual culture and/or reincarnation. We have He’s Coming To Me, we have Dew the Movie -- we have art here, queer-centered art, that does not lend itself to happy endings, that depicts, through reincarnation or, in the case of HCTM, a ghostly purgatory, how DIFFICULT it had been to be comfortably queer and/or openly out in past and present Thailand.

And then UWMA comes along, telling TWO generational stories, intertwined by the red thread, but also, in the words of the WONDERFUL @bengiyo, connected by Korn and Intouch’s intergenerational queer trauma, the most PERFECT coinage of a theme for this show. In 1988, when Korn and Intouch die, they cannot be out. They cannot even be SECRETLY in love. Their bad dads use the foulest of language to describe their love (much like Phop’s dad in Dew). And Korn kills himself, and Intouch follows.

And what we learn, through Dean and Pharm, are the emotions, the regrets, the LEARNED BEHAVIOR that Korn and Intouch have picked up on in the afterlife, embedded in Dean and Pharm, that keeps Korn and Intouch’s love alive, with CORRECTIONS and ADJUSTMENTS made by Dean and Pharm that reflect on how not only Korn and Intouch’s love has changed and improved, but also how Dean and Pharm are learning how to love EACH OTHER, themselves, as they adjust to their OWN belonging to each other, in Pharm’s own words. GAH -- my aching heart. (Thank you to @lurkingshan for talking this through with me early on in my UWMA watch.)

I mean. THE DEPTH OF THIS. Intouch is a terrible cook, and Pharm is like, a restaurant-level chef?! Pharm is so resistant, and Dean is so FORWARD? (OHM THITIWAT, GAH!!!) (Listen. Pharm. P’Deeeean can grab MY butt, okay?) (See what I did there, @lurkingshan and @bengiyo? THANK YOOOOUU.)

And Pharm’s blushing maiden approach. Yes, I will also admit, that sometimes, it was a little cringey. But I think the blushing maiden trope was really necessary to the story -- ESPECIALLY IN THE CONTEXT of Intouch’s anger, ciphered through Pharm in the last episode. And I think that Fluke Natouch ultimately rendered the trope beautifully -- again, especially against the gorgeous ending of the show. Oh, THAT CONDO SCENE, PEOPLE. I LOST IT. 

Of course, Intouch would want to hold back through Pharm in the present day. If Intouch DIDN’T hold back vis à vis Pharm -- he might lose Korn again, if Pharm missteps with Dean. Intouch may have felt that HIS forwardness lent to their troubles -- so Intouch holds back, through Pharm. And Intouch ultimately communicates his love for Korn differently in the afterlife, more hesitantly -- through a resistance to intimacy, and through food and cooking in Pharm, which itself was another amazing move in this show.

Listen. Even my pinned post says what I value in dramas, not just in BLs. You give me food in BL, and I give you my heart. But also, let’s talk about the meaning of food in Asian dramas for a second. It’s no coincidence that MANY Asian dramas and doramas center food, including my favorite BL of all time, Kinou Nani Tabeta/What Did You Eat Yesterday?. If you don’t know Asians, of any ilk -- let me make a BROAD continental and sub-continental judgement. ALL WE THINK ABOUT IS FOOD, lol. While I’m with my family, while I’m working, while I’m writing meta -- I’m thinking about food, I’m thinking about what I want to cook, what I want to order, how I can mix the cuisines I love (Thai-Indian curries, anyone? YUM). Malaysians literally boast about having multiple meals, way past three meals, a day. We Asians are proud of our cuisines, and we want y’all to be EATING, A LOT, and to try all our dishes. (ITSAY, your Hokkien mee is calling me...) 

But, also: FOOD MEANS FAMILY. Let me say it again: FOOD MEANS FAMILY. You FEED the people you LOVE, with delicious food. Shiro and Kenji. Kurosawa and Adachi. The guys in Jack o’Frost. The guys in The Eighth Sense. Omg, even Kinn and Porsche. We’re seeing it in Tokyo In April Is... And Pharm, to Dean, Intouch to Korn.

And BESIDES Intouch/Pharm becoming a great cook, GOD, the story ALSO INCLUDED the Proustian reference of the madeleine and involuntary memory -- but in SUCH a stunning way, as to RECALL DEAN’S FAMILIAL MEMORY of eating his grandmother’s Thai desserts -- his grandmother, Intouch’s sister, and how Dean could get an indirect spotlight into Intouch and a depth of an understanding of Intouch’s happiness besides his love for Korn. And how Pharm EMBODIED that love for Thai desserts through Intouch’s family lineage. Oh, just get me MESSY, PEOPLE. FUCKING GENIUS SHIT. 

Memory on memory on memory. Dream on dream, nightmare on nightmare, tears and red threads, inherited trauma, intergenerational trauma. The micro-level of what Dean and Pharm had to live with on a daily basis in their recollections of Korn and Intouch. The macro-level of what Pharm and Dean experienced when all of their parents accepted them for who they were as queer individuals, and their partners, as well. How Dean’s dad could ACTUALLY RELATE to Dean himself, because Dean’s dad had been rejected by Dean’s mother’s family. And how that ALLOWED Dean’s dad to accept Dean and his choice to be with Pharm. How that trauma was relieved, how Dean and Pharm DID NOT HAVE TO PHYSICALLY RELIVE what Korn and Intouch had gone through, and how those involuntary memories that Dean and Pharm carried vis à vis Korn and Intouch traumatized them until Dean and Pharm could RECEIVE their OWN familial acceptance.

The LAYERS OF THIS SHOW. Before I get to the last theme on my list, I really just need to metaphorically slam my palms on an allegorical table and give New Siwaj a huge hug, because THIS SHIT IS NOT EASY TO PROCESS ALL AT ONCE, and I can’t wait to do a UWMA rewatch to try to catch more (and I’ll likely need to write another meta, ha, when I do that). I mean, again, just to use food as an example of a kind of storytelling TOOL to INDICATE memory, especially in the context of lost and found love, of intergenerational trauma and relieving regret -- BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT.

And. The last theme on the list, the theme of filial piety, of Asian family systems and devotion and loyalty and expectations, and the devastating effects on the micro-individual level (and even the macro-social level as well) that those expectations can have. 

So, I watched Double Savage, screenwritten by New Siwaj, out of order from UWMA. Very quickly, since many of you have likely NOT watched Double Savage because it’s not a BL (but it DID have Ohm Pawat and Perth Tanapon in a hose-off scene -- you can’t take the New Siwaj out of New Siwaj, amirite): Double Savage is about Korn (Ohm P.), a middle son who is branded a jinx by a HORRENDOUS Thai-Chinese father, and how the abuse leveled on Korn by his dad has intergenerational ripple effects across their family and community. 

Let’s break this down. I now know that New Siwaj does bad dads from Thai-Chinese lineage very well. UWMA’s Korn is expected to take over a mafia business. His dad is disapproving that Korn doesn’t want to take over the business -- which is an UNQUESTIONABLE and EMBEDDED expectation in most Asian family lineages (hello, Jeng and Step By Step) -- AND Korn’s dad is ALSO disapproving in Korn’s love for Intouch and vice versa. Separately, Intouch’s dad is disapproving that Intouch is in love with Korn, a mafia scion. 

Modern times are modern for a reason. 1988 was 31 years from 2019. I want to emphasize here the understanding that Korn and Intouch likely had -- that besides running away, there was no other existence for them to be together than to kill themselves and be together in the afterlife. And running away, and still living and existing, would have been a guilt-ridden and dangerous existence, for what Asian children are expected to do and live for vis à vis their parents. Korn likely HAD NO OTHER IMAGINATION for a life that he could live OTHER THAN to take over his father’s business and to be a heteronormative adult in the late 1980s. And, to top that all off, both of their dads were fucking assholes. 

I really liked how this was juxtaposed to the relationship between Dean and his father. Dean was clearly set up to be as stubborn as his dad. Meaning, at least to me -- that Dean was FAR less likely to be told what to do by his dad, that Dean would and maybe COULD, stand up to his dad. We didn’t see it happen, but I could have imagined Dean not accepting “no” for an answer from his dad to accept Pharm. (Makes you think about Pat, Pran, and Ming, no?) Dean had Korn in him. Dean/Korn was NOT GOING TO TAKE THAT SHIT AGAIN, and that was CLEAR. I want to emphasize: THAT’S BIG. That was BIG on New Siwaj and the UWMA novel writer to include that in the story. That’s parental defiance. That needed to happen in order for Dean and Pharm to survive. As an Asian, that gives me a kick of welcome energy.

But I also really want to note what New Siwaj did at the end of the show, something so deft, it might have left non-Asian viewers wondering what was going on. In the condo scene, Dean and Pharm are ciphering Korn and Intouch -- and when Korn’s father shows up in the wheelchair, Korn’s father knows what’s happening.

And Korn apologizes to his dad. Korn had already apologized to Intouch, but Korn also apologizes to his dad, and to his brother, and to his nephew in Sin. This really gets me, y’all, I understand this as an Asian. Korn is APOLOGIZING for the PAIN he caused in his family AND in Intouch, because -- filial piety. He knows what he did to himself was devastating to the Asian family system he was born into, to the Asian society he was born into, and he apologized for the suicide he committed unto himself that caused that extra-social pain. 

Like. As crazy as that sounds, it’s also an INCREDIBLY SOPHISTICATED way to ACKNOWLEDGE that Korn had broached a social boundary, and Intouch had followed him. THAT IS A HELL OF A LAYER TO ADD TO THIS STORY, ONE THAT I DID NOT EXPECT, and that SHOOK ME at the end of this series.

A similar situation happened in Double Savage. Despite the horrendous psychological abuse that Double Savage’s Korn received from his father -- an adult Korn ends up apologizing to his father for the trouble that HE may have caused. Now, what I appreciated about Double Savage was that THAT dad was like -- no, no, *I* should be the one apologizing. BUT, I want to indicate and emphasize here, that BOTH storylines acknowledge that Asian children NEED to know, SHOULD know, ARE BORN TO KNOW, that their actions have collective effects on a wider family system. We are born to understand and think like that. We are not dealing with an individualist Western perspective here. (I literally FLIPPED when I realized that New Siwaj has had MULTIPLE CHARACTERS NAMED KORN APOLOGIZING TO BAD DADS, and I’m an Asian over here UNDERSTANDING WHY, and I’m just like, pfffftt GGGAAAHHHH.)

Why am I harping on this? BECAUSE: vis à vis EVERYTHING ELSE that is lineage-based in this story -- from children being born, to intergenerational trauma, to reincarnation -- UWMA is structured around an über-macro theme of worlds being linked, by threads, by genes, by history, by spirit, by trauma. We are collectively linked. Babies are born -- we saw many babies in this show. Children belong to families. Lovers belong to lovers. Dean PHYSICALLY belongs to Intouch’s family, and Pharm to Korn’s family. A happy existence will be when a family accepts a child’s partner. Happiness is in a family growing, not a family shrinking. Warmth and growth and love happens when a happy family sits at a table and eats together. 

As Pharm says at the end of the show -- oh, my HEART -- “I belong to Dean.” Yes, you do -- because you have become Dean’s family, and Dean has become Pharm’s family. Korn’s family BELONGS to Intouch’s family, and vice versa. They are destined, MEANT to be linked together, AND TO BE FAMILY, ALL TOGETHER.

Kurosawa and Adachi become family in the Cherry Magic movie. WDYEY’s Shiro and Kenji become family by way of living and eating together. Even if BBS’s Ming doesn’t acknowledge Pran -- Pran is Ming’s family. LOVE. MAKES. FAMILY.

What Korn apologized for was the impact his decision had on his family — WHILE HE WAS IN LOVE WITH INTOUCH, WHO KORN’S FAMILY WAS NOT ALLOWING KORN TO MAKE AS KORN’S NEW FAMILY in the 1980s. Korn was able to apologize in the afterlife — BECAUSE Dean and Pharm DID WHAT HE AND INTOUCH COULD NOT DO, by way of generations, by way of family acceptance, by way of inherited trauma and STOPPING that inherited trauma in its tracks -- very much like Pat and Pran banding together and doing the same for themselves. Dean and Pharm did the hard work of making the relationship a real one, in every aspect of their intimate, micro-level family lives, to a public, external existence in the world. Korn could FINALLY experience the release of GUILT he had towards Intouch and towards Korn’s family, now that Korn’s love for Intouch could FINALLY flourish outside the constraints of filial piety through Dean. THIS IS HUGE. I have no words to tell you what the BRILLIANCE of this means to me as an Asian. LOVE MAKES FAMILY, and LOVE THAT IS ALLOWED TO FLOURISH GIVES YOU THE RELEASE TO BE YOUR TRUE SELF. 

Dean had learned from the inherited trauma that he got from Korn that he needed to stop the trauma train in his tracks, and he did, and he confronted his father, and his father blessed the union of Dean and Pharm. When Dean took the gun away from Pharm, and embraced Pharm, Korn and Intouch KNEW that they could finally be safe in the afterlife. Dean and Pharm were the ciphers that finally ALLOWED Korn and Intouch to exist happily together in spirit. Korn, especially, could exist freely, now that he was relieved of his guilt. Dean and Pharm were, LITERALLY, Korn and Intouch’s FAMILY -- the FAMILY that ALLOWED the FINAL RELEASE for Korn and Intouch to be together as their true selves and spirits. 

And Dean and Pharm confirmed that in FRONT of the family member, in Korn’s father, that had originally caused all this pain. The intricate layers, communicated to a primarily Asian audience, of Korn apologizing to his father, and then of Dean embracing Pharm and confirming their love AND Korn and Intouch’s love, in front of that former barrier -- that is GROWTH and FLOURISHING in the face of generational defiance, and about as sophisticated and eloquent a communication of familial transcendence as I could possibly imagine seeing in Asian drama art. WHOA. I’m a little out of breath with this.

Wow. And speaking of being one’s true self: I deeply loved that Dean and Pharm took a three-month break. I loved that Pharm was smart and strong enough to demand a break to understand if DEAN and PHARM -- INDEPENDENT of ANYTHING they had INHERITED from ANYONE -- actually loved each other and belonged together. Fuck. Pharm was like, no -- this one’s on me. I need to see, outside of ANY INFLUENCES, FROM ANYONE, ANYWHERE -- if I love Dean, if Dean loves me, and if we belong together. Brave. Badass.

AND, I truly loved how Korn and Intouch -- DEAN AND PHARM’S FAMILY -- came BACK to Dean and Pharm’s dreams to offer thanks. I loved how, in the end, the past and his family came back to give Pharm that little contextual nudge to say to Pharm, it’s okay to love Dean for Dean, AND to love how you two came together, through Korn and Intouch. And Pharm could acknowledge, finally, that he belonged to Dean. God damn.

This story was so multilayered, SO complex, SO filled with a respect for love at its highest and most complicated levels. This story was filled with CRITICAL SCRUTINY towards Asian family systems and the trauma that those systems can render. This story was filled with an acknowledgement for the power of LOVE that those same family systems can offer unto children who NEED pillars of love and support (Pharm’s mom and brother, badasses!). 

Y’ALL. I just, I DID NOT KNOW that New Siwaj could DO THIS! I know that UWMA is considered his best show, but like, this is his best show BY A LOT, A LOT. Double Savage, in contrast, had a lot of narrative and structural issues that detracted from the core stories of filial piety that were ultimately very important to tell. 

UWMA did not fall into that trap. It was SMART, it MOVED (FOR SEVENTEEN EPISODES! I SLAMMED THIS SERIES! I could have watched MORE, I cannot believe I’m SAYING THAT!), it was. It was just BRILLIANT. It was an ode to romantic love, to family love, to the power of memory. In 2019, it joined He’s Coming To Me in a burgeoning echelon of cinema-influenced BLs in storytelling, soon to be joined by I Told Sunset About You, ATOTS, and others. It took the sad endings of He’s Coming To Me and Dew the Movie and said -- not today. Today, we will let love LIVE, let QUEER LOVE live, in REAL LIFE, in REAL TIME, and we will not let our lovers live in regret. We will take queer love, we will give queer love FAMILY, and we will give it the HONOR IT DESERVES.

Until We Meet Again is a must-watch of the highest order, and goes on the shortlist of shows that I will refer to as one that makes me proud to be an Asian. It was easily one of the most important shows I’ve watched in this project. All credit to New, Fluke, Ohm, Earth, and Kao for a PHENOMENAL experience -- my heart and mind have been bettered because of this show. 

[FLUKE. AND. OHM. Fluke and Singto coming thru in Shadow the Series? Sign me the FUCK up. Actors on actors. WOW. Did UWMA ever introduce me to another crop of dudes who can fucking tear up a screen. I had SO much fun watching UWMA, whew!

And, yep. I had to follow this up with 2gether, ha. I’m going to spare myself a little pain, if y’all don’t mind, and combine my write-up of 2gether with Still 2gether. I know there’s a lot to be said about the lack of intimacy in 2G, which I can’t wait to dive into, but I can’t help but to also run into another wall of analysis with dear P’Aof’s work in S2G. I’ll make it all work!

After I get myself together with 2gether (HA) -- it’s ITSAY time. I will be planning on watching ITSAY TWICE before writing, as I’m preparing myself to catch EVERYTHING I can before I pen words. Stay tuned.

Status of the list below. As always -- if you have feedback, send it my way!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 11) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (I’m watching this out of order just to get familiar with OffGun before Theory of Love -- will likely not review) 13) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 14) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (not a BL or an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 15) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 16) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020)  17) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (watching) 18) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 19) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) 20) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 21) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 22) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 23) Lovely Writer (2021) 24) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) 25) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 26) Not Me (2021-2022) 27) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 28) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 29) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 30) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 31) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 32) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 33) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 34) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 35) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 36) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]

[hotelsmarket]

U.S. Unemployment Rate for January Unchanged At 4.1%

THE EMPLOYMENT SITUATION -- JANUARY 2018 Total nonfarm payroll employment increased by 200,000 in January, and the unemployment rate was unchanged at 4.1 percent, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Employment continued to trend up in construction, food services and drinking places, health care, and manufacturing. _______________________________________________________________________ | | | Changes to The Employment Situation Data | | | |Establishment survey data have been revised as a result of the annual | |benchmarking process and the updating of seasonal adjustment factors. | |Also, household survey data for January 2018 reflect updated population| |estimates. See the notes at the end of this news release for more | |information about these changes. | |_______________________________________________________________________| Household Survey Data In January, the unemployment rate was 4.1 percent for the fourth consecutive month. The number of unemployed persons, at 6.7 million, changed little over the month. (See table A-1. For information about annual population adjustments to the household survey estimates, see the note at the end of this news release and tables B and C.) Among the major worker groups, the unemployment rate for Blacks increased to 7.7 percent in January, and the rate for Whites edged down to 3.5 percent. The jobless rates for adult men (3.9 percent), adult women (3.6 percent), teenagers (13.9 percent), Asians (3.0 percent), and Hispanics (5.0 percent) showed little change. (See tables A-1, A-2, and A-3.) The number of long-term unemployed (those jobless for 27 weeks or more) was little changed at 1.4 million in January and accounted for 21.5 percent of the unemployed. (See table A-12.) The civilian labor force and total employment, as measured by the household survey, changed little in January (after accounting for the annual adjustments to the population controls). The labor force participation rate was 62.7 percent for the fourth consecutive month and the employment-population ratio was 60.1 percent for the third month in a row. (See table A-1. For additional information about the effects of the population adjustments, see table C.) The number of persons employed part time for economic reasons (sometimes referred to as involuntary part-time workers) was essentially unchanged at 5.0 million in January. These individuals, who would have preferred full-time employment, were working part time because their hours had been cut back or because they were unable to find a full-time job. (See table A-8.) In January, 1.7 million persons were marginally attached to the labor force, little changed from a year earlier. (The data are not seasonally adjusted.) These individuals were not in the labor force, wanted and were available for work, and had looked for a job sometime in the prior 12 months. They were not counted as unemployed because they had not searched for work in the 4 weeks preceding the survey. (See table A-16.) Among the marginally attached, there were 451,000 discouraged workers in January, little changed from a year earlier. (The data are not seasonally adjusted.) Discouraged workers are persons not currently looking for work because they believe no jobs are available for them. The remaining 1.2 million persons marginally attached to the labor force in January had not searched for work for reasons such as school attendance or family responsibilities. (See table A-16.) Establishment Survey Data Total nonfarm payroll employment rose by 200,000 in January. Employment continued to trend up in construction, food services and drinking places, health care, and manufacturing. (See table B-1. For information about the annual benchmark process, see the note and table A.) Construction added 36,000 jobs in January, with most of the increase occurring among specialty trade contractors (+26,000). Employment in residential building construction continued to trend up over the month (+5,000). Over the year, construction employment has increased by 226,000. Employment in food services and drinking places continued to trend up in January (+31,000). The industry has added 255,000 jobs over the past 12 months. Employment in health care continued to trend up in January (+21,000), with a gain of 13,000 in hospitals. In 2017, health care added an average of 24,000 jobs per month. In January, employment in manufacturing remained on an upward trend (+15,000). Durable goods industries added 18,000 jobs. Manufacturing has added 186,000 jobs over the past 12 months. Employment in other major industries, including mining, wholesale trade, retail trade, transportation and warehousing, information, financial activities, professional and business services, and government, changed little over the month. The average workweek for all employees on private nonfarm payrolls declined by 0.2 hour to 34.3 hours in January. In manufacturing, the workweek declined by 0.2 hour to 40.6 hours, while overtime remained at 3.5 hours. The average workweek for production and nonsupervisory employees on private nonfarm payrolls edged down by 0.1 hour to 33.6 hours. (See tables B-2 and B-7.) In January, average hourly earnings for all employees on private nonfarm payrolls rose by 9 cents to $26.74, following an 11-cent gain in December. Over the year, average hourly earnings have risen by 75 cents, or 2.9 percent. Average hourly earnings of private-sector production and nonsupervisory employees increased by 3 cents to $22.34 in January. (See tables B-3 and B-8.) The change in total nonfarm payroll employment for November was revised down from +252,000 to +216,000, and the change for December was revised up from +148,000 to +160,000. With these revisions, employment gains in November and December combined were 24,000 less than previously reported. (Monthly revisions result from additional reports received from businesses and government agencies since the last published estimates and from the recalculation of seasonal factors. The annual benchmark process also contributed to the November and December revisions.) After revisions, job gains have averaged 192,000 over the last 3 months. _____________ The Employment Situation for February is scheduled to be released on Friday, March 9, 2018, at 8:30 a.m. (EST). _________________________________________________________________________________ | | | Partial Federal Government Shutdown | | | |Due to a lapse in funding, some agencies of the federal government were shut | |down or were operating at reduced staffing levels from January 20, 2018, | |through January 22, 2018. | | | |All household data collection was suspended during the shutdown. Household | |survey data collection resumed on January 23, 2018, and was conducted through | |January 26, 2018, to allow for the usual number of collection days. The | |response rate for the household survey in January 2018 was slightly below the | |average rate for 2017. | | | |In the establishment survey, collection of data by interviewers was suspended | |on January 22, 2018, and resumed on January 23, 2018. Electronic data collection| |was not interrupted. Collection rates for the establishment survey for this | |collection period were within the normal range. | | | |Overall, there were no discernible effects on the national unemployment rate | |and other major household survey measures, or on the estimates of total | |nonfarm payroll employment, for the month of January. | |________________________________________________________________________________| Revisions to Establishment Survey Data In accordance with annual practice, the establishment survey data released today have been benchmarked to reflect comprehensive counts of payroll jobs for March 2017. These counts are derived principally from the Quarterly Census of Employment and Wages (QCEW), which counts jobs covered by the Unemployment Insurance (UI) tax system. In addition, the data were updated to the 2017 North American Industry Classification System (NAICS) from the 2012 NAICS. This update resulted in minor changes to several detailed industries. The normal benchmark process revises not seasonally adjusted data from April 2016 forward and seasonally adjusted data from January 2013 forward. However, some data were also revised further back in their history than normal due to the implementation of 2017 NAICS and other minor technical changes related to rounding and re-aggregation of some series. The total nonfarm employment level for March 2017 was revised upward by 146,000 (+138,000 on a not seasonally adjusted basis, or +0.1 percent). On a not seasonally adjusted basis, the average absolute benchmark revision over the past 10 years is 0.2 percent. The effect of these revisions on the underlying trend in nonfarm payroll employment was minor. For example, the over-the-year change in total nonfarm employment for 2017 was revised from +2,055,000 to +2,173,000 (seasonally adjusted). Table A presents revised total nonfarm employment data on a seasonally adjusted basis from January to December 2017. All revised historical establishment survey data are available on the BLS website at www.bls.gov/ces/data.htm. In addition, an article that discusses the benchmark and post-benchmark revisions and other technical issues is available at www.bls.gov/web/empsit/cesbmart.htm. Table A. Revisions in total nonfarm employment, January-December 2017, seasonally adjusted (Numbers in thousands) --- | | | Level | Over-the-month change |- Year and month | As | | | As | | |previously | As | Difference |previously| As | Difference |published | revised | |published | revised | --- | | | | | | 2017 | | | | | | | | | | | | January.........| 145,541 | 145,696 | 155 | 216 | 259 | 43 February........| 145,773 | 145,896 | 123 | 232 | 200 | -32 March...........| 145,823 | 145,969 | 146 | 50 | 73 | 23 April...........| 146,030 | 146,144 | 114 | 207 | 175 | -32 May.............| 146,175 | 146,299 | 124 | 145 | 155 | 10 June............| 146,385 | 146,538 | 153 | 210 | 239 | 29 July............| 146,523 | 146,728 | 205 | 138 | 190 | 52 August..........| 146,731 | 146,949 | 218 | 208 | 221 | 13 September.......| 146,769 | 146,963 | 194 | 38 | 14 | -24 October.........| 146,980 | 147,234 | 254 | 211 | 271 | 60 November........| 147,232 | 147,450 | 218 | 252 | 216 | -36 December (p)....| 147,380 | 147,610 | 230 | 148 | 160 | 12 --- (p) = preliminary. Adjustments to Population Estimates for the Household Survey Effective with data for January 2018, updated population estimates were incorporated into the household survey. Population estimates for the household survey are developed by the U.S. Census Bureau. Each year, the Census Bureau updates the estimates to reflect new information and assumptions about the growth of the population since the previous decennial census. The change in population reflected in the new estimates results from adjustments for net international migration, updated vital statistics, and estimation methodology improvements. In accordance with usual practice, BLS will not revise the official household survey estimates for December 2017 and earlier months. To show the impact of the population adjustments, however, differences in selected December 2017 labor force series based on the old and new population estimates are shown in table B. The adjustments increased the estimated size of the civilian noninstitutional population in December by 488,000, the civilian labor force by 333,000, employment by 318,000, and unemployment by 15,000. The number of persons not in the labor force was increased by 154,000. The total unemployment rate, employment-population ratio, and labor force participation rate were unaffected. Data users are cautioned that these annual population adjustments can affect the comparability of household data series over time. Table C shows the effect of the introduction of new population estimates on the comparison of selected labor force measures between December 2017 and January 2018. Additional information on the population adjustments and their effect on national labor force estimates is available at www.bls.gov/web/empsit/cps-pop-control-adjustments.pdf Table B. Effect of the updated population controls on December 2017 estimates by sex, race, and Hispanic or Latino ethnicity, not seasonally adjusted (Numbers in thousands) ______________________________________________________________________________________ | | | | | | | | | | | | Black | | | | | | | or | | Hispanic Category |Total | Men | Women| White | African| Asian| or Latino | | | | |American| | ethnicity | | | | | | | ______________________________|______|_____|______|_______|________|______|___________ | | | | | | | Civilian noninstitutional | | | | | | | population.................| 488 | 296 | 192 | 194 | 104 | 171 | 328 Civilian labor force......| 333 | 228 | 106 | 141 | 70 | 111 | 242 Participation rate......| 0.0 | 0.1 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.1 | 0.0 Employed.................| 318 | 219 | 100 | 132 | 66 | 109 | 230 Employment-population | | | | | | | ratio..................| 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.1 | 0.0 | 0.1 Unemployed...............| 15 | 9 | 5 | 8 | 3 | 2 | 12 Unemployment rate.......| 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 Not in labor force........| 154 | 67 | 86 | 54 | 35 | 60 | 86 ______________________________________________________________________________________ NOTE: Detail may not sum to totals because of rounding. Estimates for the above race groups (White, Black or African American, and Asian) do not sum to totals because data are not presented for all races. Persons whose ethnicity is identified as Hispanic or Latino may be of any race. Table C. December 2017-January 2018 changes in selected labor force measures, with adjustments for population control effects (Numbers in thousands) ______________________________________________________________________________ | | | | | | Dec.-Jan. | Dec.-Jan. | 2018 | change, | change, | population | after Category | as | control | removing the | published | effect | population | | | control | | | effect (1) _______________________________________|___________|____________|_____________ | | | Civilian noninstitutional population.| 671 | 488 | 183 Civilian labor force...............| 518 | 333 | 185 Participation rate...............| 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 Employed..........................| 409 | 318 | 91 Employment-population ratio......| 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 Unemployed........................| 108 | 15 | 93 Unemployment rate................| 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 Not in labor force.................| 153 | 154 | -1 | | | ______________________________________________________________________________ 1 This Dec.-Jan. change is calculated by subtracting the population control effect from the over-the-month change in the published seasonally adjusted estimates. NOTE: Detail may not sum to totals because of rounding. * Employment Situation Summary Table A. Household data, seasonally adjusted  * Employment Situation Summary Table B. Establishment data, seasonally adjusted  * Employment Situation Frequently Asked Questions  * Employment Situation Technical Note  * Table A-1. Employment status of the civilian population by sex and age  * Table A-2. Employment status of the civilian population by race, sex, and age  * Table A-3. Employment status of the Hispanic or Latino population by sex and age  * Table A-4. Employment status of the civilian population 25 years and over by educational attainment  * Table A-5. Employment status of the civilian population 18 years and over by veteran status, period of service, and sex, not seasonally adjusted  * Table A-6. Employment status of the civilian population by sex, age, and disability status, not seasonally adjusted  * Table A-7. Employment status of the civilian population by nativity and sex, not seasonally adjusted  * Table A-8. Employed persons by class of worker and part-time status  * Table A-9. Selected employment indicators  * Table A-10. Selected unemployment indicators, seasonally adjusted  * Table A-11. Unemployed persons by reason for unemployment  * Table A-12. Unemployed persons by duration of unemployment  * Table A-13. Employed and unemployed persons by occupation, not seasonally adjusted  * Table A-14. Unemployed persons by industry and class of worker, not seasonally adjusted  * Table A-15. Alternative measures of labor underutilization  * Table A-16. Persons not in the labor force and multiple jobholders by sex, not seasonally adjusted  * Table B-1. Employees on nonfarm payrolls by industry sector and selected industry detail  * Table B-2. Average weekly hours and overtime of all employees on private nonfarm payrolls by industry sector, seasonally adjusted  * Table B-3. Average hourly and weekly earnings of all employees on private nonfarm payrolls by industry sector, seasonally adjusted  * Table B-4. Indexes of aggregate weekly hours and payrolls for all employees on private nonfarm payrolls by industry sector, seasonally adjusted  * Table B-5. Employment of women on nonfarm payrolls by industry sector, seasonally adjusted  * Table B-6. Employment of production and nonsupervisory employees on private nonfarm payrolls by industry sector, seasonally adjusted(1)  * Table B-7. Average weekly hours and overtime of production and nonsupervisory employees on private nonfarm payrolls by industry sector, seasonally adjusted(1)  * Table B-8. Average hourly and weekly earnings of production and nonsupervisory employees on private nonfarm payrolls by industry sector, seasonally adjusted(1)  * Table B-9. Indexes of aggregate weekly hours and payrolls for production and nonsupervisory employees on private nonfarm payrolls by industry sector, seasonally adjusted(1) Logos, product and company names mentioned are the property of their respective owners.

[traceyhui-blog]

Full Research Paper Draft#1

Tokyo of Akihabara is known worldwide as the kingdom of otaku culture. However, not many people realize that there is another culture that behind the spotlight in Ikebukuro, Otome Road (also called funu east street). If you walk into a bookstore in Ikebukuro, you will find various books’ cover are depicting romantic and sexual relations between two beautiful male characters. This genre of artworks called Yaoi (also called Boy’s Love or BL). The entire genre itself is targeted at a straight female readership and is almost always created by female artist as well. It is the reflection of emotion from the artist to homosexual love as a “pure love” said by Hana (Brandon, 2014). Boy’s love culture represents the sexuality, equality and freedom of what female pursue. To have a depth exploration with the connection between yaoi culture and female sexuality, two methods must involve which are sociological analysis and psychoanalysis.

Origins of Yaoi

The most common media form for the sharing of BL narratives remains Dojinshi (同人誌). Dojinshi is the Japanese term means a group of people with same interest comes together. They created and self- published the artworks outside the regular industry. In 1970s, here is the popularize of the yaoi anthology “June” (manga magazine) and the anime called “Space Battleship Yamato (宇宙戦艦ヤマト)”, it brings the trend of Donjinshi of this anime. At first. This type of artwork always has around 4 pages, and the content is so sample with no background story as general, no consequences, but only of sex scenes. Therefore, it comes up the term “Yaoi”. The term Yaoi is the acronym of yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi (“no climax, no punch line, no meaning.”). As time goes on, these Donjishi’s quality become higher. By the influence of Donjishi, different form of artwork comes out, such as novels, dramas, movies, manga, anime and video game.

Figure 1. A picture of Boy’s Love manga can find in somewhere bookstore. http://s7.sinaimg.cn/middle/5feeab78ga715bf685116&690

In the 1990s, the size of the Japanese yaoi fandom were at five hundred thousand people (Lunsing, 2008). Furthermore, in 2007, a google search for “yaoi” produced almost 5 million hits (Roundtable, 2007). Nowadays, you can find Dojishi book store and yaoi manga in most of the place in Japan.

Figure 2. Dojishi Bookstore. http://pics26.yamedia.tw/34/userfile/m/miyake1028/album/14e82c82e9387d.jpg

Recently, the maid coffee shop is well known in Japan, you can enjoy your tea time with the cute maid. Based on maid coffee, there is Boy’s Love coffee shop emerge with the growth and demand of yaoi culture. The different between Boy’s Love coffee is, all the employee is different type of handsome guy such as cute, teacher with glasses, student, sporty and brother…etc. The customers can pair them up and let them act your favorite scene in yaoi manga.

Video 1. Boy’s Love Coffee Shop. https://youtu.be/1Q9VItlPi4c

What is Fujoshi?

Fujoshi (ふじょ し) is a Japanese word means rotten girl, is a self mockingly term for the female who like the artworks that feature romantic relationships between men. The term Fujoshi originated and popularize at 80’s century.  Fujoshi mainly enjoy imagining the male character have a homosexual relationship with another male character in anime or other artworks, also in real life like stars, athlete, musician, comedy artist and historical people...etc. This is called “real-life Dojishi” (真人同人). Most of the Fujoshi thinks that the content of Yaoi is largely about the beauty of “genderless love”. They cannot consciously or subconsciously insert herself into the narrative so that they can appreciate the male to male romance as a third person. “When a love exists between a boy and girl, the reader will automatically have empathy with the girl. When it is just boys, the reader engages in the story from the third person.” (Brandon, 2014).

Why Yaoi?

There are several reasons that make Fujoshi enthusiastic in Yaoi culture. First, according to Hana, the love between male and female comes with a lot of societal pressures such as marriage and pregnancy, that can sully the purity of romantic desire. (Brandon, 2014). This come to the problem of Heterosexual hegemony and Patriarchal system. Consider the ranking of World Economic Forum’s global gender equality for 2017, Japan was placed at 114th of 144 (“Japan Drops by”, 2017), almost the bottom of the list. There is a huge gap between man and women in the categories of politics, economy, education and health. The most concerned gap is the labor force participation and average salary rate of women are still lower than men. Under this circumstance, chou says that “women reach socially upward mobility through marriage.” (chou, 2010). Therefore, in general romance stories, male characters are stronger and powerful in social status or power relations than female characters. At the same time, there is a deprivation of self-independence for female characters in romantic stories. (chou, 2010). However, In Boy’s love fantasy world, if the characters are both male, the concept of patriarchy which “male is stronger and powerful” will become weaken. Two males can just come together with no concern and stress from the society, but only one simple reason that they love each other which called “pure love”.

Second, according to the book “Woman-Haters: Misogyny in Japan” by Chizuko Ueno, who is a Japanese sociologist and Japan’s best-known feminist, she pointed out the term of misogyny (厭女) (Ueno, 2011). Female like Fujoshi do not like the female character in general romance story, it shows female role in a weak position. Therefore, the authors and reader know their role and hate themselves as women. (Lunsing, 2008). In other word, female character in heterosexual story are delicate and weak, it reflects women cannot escape the chain from society. So, female should go through more different situation such as debate on mother in law, need protection from male…etc. Here is the example from the book by Chizuko, is a very normal scene happen in romance manga, female character always feeling touch and warm when the male character says “I am gonna protect you forever!”. In fact, the meaning of “protection” is the same meaning of “being dominated”. Unconsciously, women are putting themselves in the disadvantaged and weak group. (Ueno, 2011). In the article, Shihomi Sakakibara suggests that women have an active need for a subject to stand in for themselves, and that they are seeking an escape from womanhood itself. (“Only Women Know”, 2011) As the result, Yaoi story can have them free from the stereotype of heterosexual.

Third, this is link to the traditional family education from the past. Women lives “were bound by the three obedience which are obedience to fathers when young, to husbands when married, and to their children in old age.” (“Japanese Families”, 2001) Under this circumstance, young girl has less rebelliousness to parent and sexuality or heterosexuality is a sensitive topic not to talk with in traditional family. However, in teenage adolescence, girls are expose in different media and get information consciously or unconsciously. In psychoanalysis, teenage in the process of adolescence will struggle with body image and self-esteem and may show interest in members of the opposite sex. (“Sexual Development”, 2015). Their curiosity in sexualilty and sexual illusion between male and female under this traditional family are not allow and discriminate. As the result, Yaoi homosexual can satisfy the emptiness through this period. This is the reason why most of the yaoi readers are junior- high or high school girl. They image two male means they cannot insert themselves into the narrative.  While they can appreciate the growing romance from afar, also can satisfy the desire of the opposite sex. This is also a emancipation under male domain pornography.

Last but not least, Fujoshi always is the group of people with no sexual experience. Therefore, there is always instinctive fear when they face to heterosexuality. They think female is just “sex object and facing the fear and danger of sexual violation by males in heterosexual norms. “(chou, 2010). In opposite, Yaoi do not have such norms because it is “pure love” so that the sex is also pure.

References

Brandon Presser. (2014). The Japanese Women Who Love Gay Anime. Retrieved from https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-japanese-women-who-love-gay-anime

Chou Dienfang. (2010). Exploring the Meaning of Yaoi in Taiwan for Female Readers: From the Perspective of Gender. Intercultural Communication Studies XIX:1. Retrieved from http://web.uri.edu/iaics/files/06DienfangChou.pdf

Japan drops by three to 114th in gender equality rankings by World Economic Forum. (2017). The Japan Times News. Retrieved from https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2017/11/02/national/social-issues/japan-drops-114th-gender-equality-rankings-world-economic-forum/#.Wg5tjWhSxPZ

Japanese Families: Modern vs Traditional. (2001). Retrieved from http://www.erdufylla.net/interim/essay.html

Lunsing, Wim. (2008). Yaoi Ronso: Discussing Depictions of Male Homosexuality in Japanese Girl’s comics, Gay Comics and Gay Pornography. Intersections: Gender, History and Culture in the Asian Context Issue 12. Retrieved from http://intersections.anu.edu.au/issue12/lunsing.html#n24

Only Women Know; Possibilities of Male Homosexual Preferences and Sexuality as seen by Women. (May 2011). Retrieved from https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/intro-to-japanese-subculture/0/steps/23574

Roundtable: The Internet and Women’s Transnational “Boys’ Love” Fandom. (2007). Retrieved from https://web.archive.org/web/20080721140810/http://www.capstrans.edu.au/resources/events/2007/aior-oct-2007.pdf

Sexual Development & Puberty (Adolescence). (2015). Remedy’s Health Communities. Retrieved from http://www.healthcommunities.com/sexual-development/puberty.shtml

Ueno, Chizuko. (2011). Onnagirai: Nippon no misojini. Tokyo: Kinokuniya Shoten.

[absolutebl]

I'm new to bl so I apologize if my question is ignorant af. I'm watching Between us and like it so far. I got into bl via KP (there's just something addictive in it), but my absolute favourite is Semantic error. However, after those 2 series I for a long time struggled to find something that will work for me, and WinTeam finally did it. I love the characters of the 2 of them, there's even some plot, and the chemistry is through the roof. However, it kind of weirds me out that Win wanted Team to call him hia during lovemaking while at the same time him having two actual brothers is a huge part of who he is. Am I wrongly connecting "hia" with biological brothers? Maybe "hia" is something more in line with "bro"? Or not? Anyway, I love your approach to bl, and your humor.

No apologies necessary! Always delighted to meet a new fan. Welcome to the madness.

Ah, hia is more like phi, which means it operates as kind of a title and/or a pronoun as well as, in this context, an endearment. (more on honorifics, honorific pronouns, and polite particles here). The direct translation is put up as “bro” but it’s a lot more complicated than that. 

For example, in English we may call a lover baby. That’s weird right? I mean think about it. Why would you call someone you’re fucking the title of a child? Creepy. Couples may continue to do such a thing even when they have babies of their own.

Or how about daddy? 

Or in Kdrama’s the use of oppa? (Girlfriends to their older boyfriends, also means older brother, female to male) 

Cultures tend to re-adopt familial terms for lovers a lot. It’s no weirder when it’s “sibling” (phi, hia, hyung, oppa, noona) than when it’s “child” (baby) or “father” (daddy), is it? Especially when the origin culture has a much more codified system of sibling honorifics and familial dynamics as part of their education and workplace environments (which both Korea and Thailand do, linguistically). 

Actually, endearment use for familial honorifics is common in many collectivist cultures. I’ve been becoming more and more aware of the use of 哥 ge (older brother) 弟 di (younger brother) and 姐 jie (older sister) in Chinese romances. And I do not speak ANY Mandarin. (Incidentally that’s the same jay as in Thai for older sister of Chinese decent, the feminine version of hia.) 

In Semantic Error during yaja time (at the bar right before their big mutual kiss) JaeYoung drops some of THE sluttiest hyungs every dripped out of the mouths of babes. 

Hyung also means older brother, or roughly that. Again it’s also acts as an honorific. In this case it’s a blatant seduction. Prior to this he was very hung up on SangWoo’s utter refusal to use hyung on him, and upset that he simultaneously allowed oppa + a nick name from Ryu Ji Hye. I mean there was a respect thing going on there, but also an affection thing. 

Here’s Asian Honorifics & BL - a quick & dirty guide, with examples 

Meanwhile KinnPorche, Semantic Error, and Between Us is an interesting trifecta. Some others you might like? 

From Thailand: Bad Buddy, TharnType, Cutie Pie, Lovely Writer, Manner of Death

From Taiwan: We Best Love, HIStory 2: Crossing the Line, HIStory 3: Trapped, See You After Quarantine?, DNA Says Love You 

From Japan: Old Fashion Cupcake, Seven Days 

From Korea: To My Star, Blueming, Long Time No See, Roommates of Poongduck 304 

From China: Addicted: Heroin

All of these have pairs with killer chemistry and a decent story. 

[cryptokingrobiul]

Top 20 Broker

New Post has been published on http://www.top20broker.com/vip/employment-situation-news-release/

Employment Situation News Release

Total nonfarm payroll employment increased by 227,000 in January, and the unemployment rate was little changed at 4.8 percent, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Job gains occurred in retail trade, construction, and financial activities.

_____________________________________________________________________ | | | Changes to The Employment Situation Data | | | |Establishment survey data have been revised as a result of the annual| |benchmarking process and the updating of seasonal adjustment factors | |using an improved methodology to select models. Also, household | |survey data for January 2017 reflect updated population estimates. | |See the notes at the end of this news release for more information | |about these changes. | |_____________________________________________________________________|

Household Survey Data

Both the number of unemployed persons, at 7.6 million, and the unemployment rate, at 4.8 percent, were little changed in January. (See table A-1. For information about annual population adjustments to the household survey estimates, see the notes at the end of this news release and tables B and C.)

Among the major worker groups, the unemployment rate for Asians (3.7 percent) increased in January. The jobless rates for adult men (4.4 percent), adult women (4.4 percent), teenagers (15.0 percent), Whites (4.3 percent), Blacks (7.7 percent), and Hispanics (5.9 percent) showed little or no change over the month. (See tables A-1, A-2, and A-3.)

In January, the number of long-term unemployed (those jobless for 27 weeks or more) was essentially unchanged at 1.9 million and accounted for 24.4 percent of the unemployed. Over the year, the number of long-term unemployed has declined by 244,000. (See table A-12.)

After accounting for the annual adjustments to the population controls, the civilian labor force increased by 584,000 in January, and the labor force participation rate rose by 0.2 percentage point to 62.9 percent. Total employment, as measured by the household survey, was up by 457,000 over the month, and the employment-population ratio edged up to 59.9 percent. (See table A-1. For additional information about the effects of the population adjustments, see table C.)

The number of persons employed part time for economic reasons (sometimes referred to as involuntary part-time workers) was little changed in January at 5.8 million. These individuals, who would have preferred full-time employment, were working part time because their hours had been cut back or because they were unable to find full-time jobs. (See table A-8.)

In January, 1.8 million persons were marginally attached to the labor force, down by 337,000 from a year earlier. (The data are not seasonally adjusted.) These individuals were not in the labor force, wanted and were available for work, and had looked for a job sometime in the prior 12 months. They were not counted as unemployed because they had not searched for work in the 4 weeks preceding the survey. (See table A-16.)

Among the marginally attached, there were 532,000 discouraged workers in January, little changed from a year earlier. (The data are not seasonally adjusted.) Discouraged workers are persons not currently looking for work because they believe no jobs are available for them. The remaining 1.2 million persons marginally attached to the labor force in January had not searched for work for reasons such as school attendance or family responsibilities. (See table A-16.)

Establishment Survey Data

Total nonfarm payroll employment rose by 227,000 in January. Employment increased in retail trade, construction, and financial activities. (See table B-1. For information about the annual benchmark process, see the notes at the end of this news release and table A.)

Retail trade employment increased by 46,000 over the month and by 229,000 over the year. Three industries added jobs in January–clothing and clothing accessories stores (+18,000), electronics and appliance stores (+8,000), and furniture and home furnishings stores (+6,000).

Employment in construction rose by 36,000 in January, following little change in December. Residential building added 9,000 jobs over the month, and employment continued to trend up among residential specialty trade contractors (+11,000). Over the past 12 months, construction has added 170,000 jobs.

Financial activities added 32,000 jobs in January, with gains in real estate (+10,000), insurance carriers and related activities (+9,000), and credit intermediation and related activities (+9,000). Financial activities added an average of 15,000 jobs per month in 2016.

In January, employment in professional and technical services rose by 23,000, about in line with the average monthly gain in 2016. Over the month, job gains occurred in computer systems design and related services (+13,000).

Employment in food services and drinking places continued to trend up in January (+30,000). This industry added 286,000 jobs over the past 12 months.

Employment in health care also continued to trend up in January (+18,000), following a gain of 41,000 in December. The industry has added 374,000 jobs over the past 12 months.

Employment in other major industries, including mining and logging, manufacturing, wholesale trade, transportation and warehousing, information, and government, showed little change over the month.

The average workweek for all employees on private nonfarm payrolls was unchanged at 34.4 hours in January. In manufacturing, the workweek edged up by 0.1 hour to 40.8 hours, while overtime edged down by 0.1 hour to 3.2 hours. The average workweek for production and nonsupervisory employees on private nonfarm payrolls was 33.6 hours for the sixth consecutive month. (See tables B-2 and B-7.)

In January, average hourly earnings for all employees on private nonfarm payrolls rose by 3 cents to $26.00, following a 6-cent increase in December. Over the year, average hourly earnings have risen by 2.5 percent. In January, average hourly earnings of private-sector production and nonsupervisory employees increased by 4 cents to $21.84. (See tables B-3 and B-8.)

The change in total nonfarm payroll employment for November was revised down from +204,000 to +164,000, and the change for December was revised up from +156,000 to +157,000. With these revisions, employment gains in November and December combined were 39,000 lower than previously reported. Monthly revisions result from additional reports received from businesses since the last published estimates and from the recalculation of seasonal factors. The annual benchmark process also contributed to the November and December revisions. Over the past 3 months, job gains have averaged 183,000 per month.

_____________ The Employment Situation for February is scheduled to be released on Friday, March 10, 2017, at 8:30 a.m. (EST).

Revisions to Establishment Survey Data

In accordance with annual practice, the establishment survey data released today have been benchmarked to reflect comprehensive counts of payroll jobs for March 2016. These counts are derived principally from the Quarterly Census of Employment and Wages (QCEW), which counts jobs covered by the Unemployment Insurance (UI) tax system. The benchmark process results in revisions to not seasonally adjusted data from April 2015 forward. Seasonally adjusted data from January 2012 forward are subject to revision. In addition, data for some series prior to 2012, both seasonally adjusted and unadjusted, incorporate other revisions.

The total nonfarm employment level for March 2016 was revised downward by 60,000 (-81,000 on a not seasonally adjusted basis, or -0.1 percent). On a not seasonally adjusted basis, the absolute average benchmark revision over the past 10 years is 0.3 percent.

The effect of these revisions on the underlying trend in nonfarm payroll employment was minor. For example, the over-the-year change in total nonfarm employment for 2016 was revised from 2,157,000 to 2,242,000 (seasonally adjusted). Table A presents revised total nonfarm employment data on a seasonally adjusted basis from January to December 2016.

All revised historical establishment survey data are available on the BLS website at www.bls.gov/ces/data.htm. In addition, an article that discusses the benchmark and post-benchmark revisions and other technical issues is available at www.bls.gov/web/empsit/cesbmart.htm.

Table A. Revisions in total nonfarm employment, January-December 2016, seasonally adjusted (Numbers in thousands) ________________________________________________________________________________________ | | | Level | Over-the-month change |——————————————————————— Year and month | As | | | As | | |previously | As | Difference |previously| As | Difference |published | revised | |published | revised | —————————————————————————————- | | | | | | 2016 | | | | | | | | | | | | January……….| 143,314 | 143,211 | -103 | 168 | 126 | -42 February………| 143,547 | 143,448 | -99 | 233 | 237 | 4 March…………| 143,733 | 143,673 | -60 | 186 | 225 | 39 April…………| 143,877 | 143,826 | -51 | 144 | 153 | 9 May…………..| 143,901 | 143,869 | -32 | 24 | 43 | 19 June………….| 144,172 | 144,166 | -6 | 271 | 297 | 26 July………….| 144,424 | 144,457 | 33 | 252 | 291 | 39 August………..| 144,600 | 144,633 | 33 | 176 | 176 | 0 September……..| 144,808 | 144,882 | 74 | 208 | 249 | 41 October……….| 144,943 | 145,006 | 63 | 135 | 124 | -11 November………| 145,147 | 145,170 | 23 | 204 | 164 | -40 December (p)…..| 145,303 | 145,327 | 24 | 156 | 157 | 1 ________________________________________________________________________________________

p = preliminary.

Adjustments to Population Estimates for the Household Survey

Effective with data for January 2017, updated population estimates were incorported into the household survey. Population estimates for the household survey are developed by the U.S. Census Bureau. Each year, the Census Bureau updates the estimates to reflect new information and assumptions about the growth of the population since the previous decennial census. The change in population reflected in the new estimates results from adjustments for net international migration, updated vital statistics, and estimation methodology improvements.

In accordance with usual practice, BLS will not revise the official household survey estimates for December 2016 and earlier months. To show the impact of the population adjustments, however, differences in selected December 2016 labor force series based on the old and new population estimates are shown in table B.

The adjustments decreased the estimated size of December’s civilian noninstitutional population by 831,000, the civilian labor force by 508,000, employment by 487,000, and unemployment by 21,000. The number of persons not in the labor force was lowered by 323,000. The unemployment rate, employment-population ratio, and labor force participation rate were unaffected.

Data users are cautioned that these annual population adjustments can affect the comparability of household data series over time. Table C shows the effect of the introduction of new population estimates on the comparison of selected labor force measures between December 2016 and January 2017. Additional information on the population adjustments and their effect on national labor force estimates is available at www.bls.gov/web/empsit/cps-pop-control-adjustments.pdf.

Table B. Effect of the updated population controls on December 2016 estimates by sex, race, and Hispanic or Latino ethnicity, not seasonally adjusted (Numbers in thousands) ______________________________________________________________________________________ | | | | | | | | | | | | Black | | | | | | | or | | Hispanic Category |Total | Men | Women| White | African| Asian| or Latino | | | | |American| | ethnicity | | | | | | | ______________________________|______|_____|______|_______|________|______|___________ | | | | | | | Civilian noninstitutional | | | | | | | population……………..| -831 |-403 | -428 | -469 | -76 | -258 | -352 Civilian labor force……| -508 |-272 | -236 | -277 | -44 | -168 | -244 Participation rate……| 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 Employed……………..| -487 |-260 | -227 | -264 | -41 | -164 | -230 Employment-population | | | | | | | ratio………………| 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | -0.1 | 0.0 Unemployed……………| -21 | -12 | -9 | -13 | -3 | -4 | -14 Unemployment rate…….| 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 | 0.0 Not in labor force……..| -323 |-131 | -192 | -192 | -34 | -90 | -109 ______________________________________________________________________________________

NOTE: Detail may not sum to totals because of rounding. Estimates for the above race groups (White, Black or African American, and Asian) do not sum to totals because data are not presented for all races. Persons whose ethnicity is identified as Hispanic or Latino may be of any race.

Table C. December 2016-January 2017 changes in selected labor force measures, with adjustments for population control effects (Numbers in thousands) ______________________________________________________________________________ | | | | | | Dec.-Jan. | Dec.-Jan. | 2017 | change, | change, | population | after Category | as | control | removing the | published | effect | population | | | control | | | effect (1) _______________________________________|___________|____________|_____________ | | | Civilian noninstitutional population.| -660 | -831 | 171 Civilian labor force……………| 76 | -508 | 584 Participation rate……………| 0.2 | 0.0 | 0.2 Employed……���……………..| -30 | -487 | 457 Employment-population ratio……| 0.2 | 0.0 | 0.2 Unemployed……………………| 106 | -21 | 127 Unemployment rate…………….| 0.1 | 0.0 | 0.1 Not in labor force……………..| -736 | -323 | -413 ______________________________________________________________________________

1 This Dec.-Jan. change is calculated by subtracting the population control effect from the over-the-month change in the published seasonally adjusted estimates. NOTE: Detail may not sum to totals because of rounding. Get total data

[waitmyturtles]

This is INCREDIBLY EXCITING news, as South Korea lags behind many other Asian countries on public viewpoints about LGBTQ+ rights. Well done, South Korea’s Supreme Court, on equal public healthcare rights! Also note, at the end of the article, how fast attitudes are changing about same-sex marriage in South Korea over the last 24 years. Keep the upward trend going! (I’m calling for more South Korean BLs, obviously.)

Paywall-free paste below:

In a landmark ruling for gay rights in South Korea on Thursday, the country’s Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples qualify for the national health insurance’s dependent coverage, a decision that rights activists hoped could pave the way for legalizing same-sex marriage in the country.

The decision would allow same-sex couples in the country to register their partners as dependents in national health insurance coverage, as married couples or couples in a common-law marriage can. Numerous other benefits are denied to same-sex and other couples living outside the traditional norms of family in South Korea.

In its ruling on Thursday, the country’s highest court ruled that denying a same-sex couple national health insurance dependent coverage “just because they are of the same sex” constitutes a serious discrimination that infringed upon citizens’ “dignity and values, their rights to pursue happiness, their freedom of privacy and their rights to be equally treated by the law.”

The plaintiff, So Seong-wook, filed the legal complaint in 2021. Mr. So wanted to register in the national health insurance program as a dependent of his partner, Kim Yong-min, arguing that their union should be treated as a common-law marriage. But South Korea’s health insurance service rejected his request and told him to pay a separate monthly insurance premium — a decision later affirmed by a district court.

But in February last year, an appeals court overturned the lower-court ruling. It said that although Mr. Kim and Mr. So’s union could not be considered a common-law marriage under South Korean laws, they should still qualify for the national health insurance’s dependent coverage.

In its final say on the case on Thursday, the Supreme Court endorsed the appeals court ruling. It said that same-sex couples formed an “economic cohabitation tantamount to” married and common-law couples.

“I hope today’s ruling will serve as a steppingstone toward enabling sexual minorities to gain equality in the system of marriage,” Mr. So said in a news conference on Thursday.

Mr. Kim said while he describes himself as Mr. So’s “husband” and “companion,” he has never been able to enjoy those titles legally in South Korea.

“I am so happy that the court recognized some of that today,” he said.

Borang Jang, an East Asia researcher at Amnesty International, the rights group, described the ruling as historic.

“The court has taken a significant step towards dismantling systemic discrimination and ensuring inclusivity for all,” she said in a statement. “The case itself is a sobering reminder of the lengthy judicial processes that same-sex couples must endure to secure basic rights that should be universally guaranteed.”

There is no official data on how many people live together in same-sex unions in the country. But between 2016 and 2022, the number of people who live together in “non-kin households” — people living together outside legal marriage — doubled to 1 million, according to government data.

Conservative Christians in South Korea have long campaigned against legalizing same-sex marriage or introducing an anti-discrimination law that protects people of any gender, age, sexual identity or physical ability. But attitudes are changing. At the turn of the century, only 17 percent of South Koreans were in favor of legalizing same-sex marriage, according to Gallup Korea, a survey company. By May of last year, that figure had grown to 40 percent.

By Choe Sang-Hun

[waitmyturtles]

Unknown: The Final Episodes (Episodes 10, 11, and 12)

(*CAVEAT!!!!* I wrote this screed before the producers of Unknown cut a different version of episode 11. I have only watched the first version, the version that the Taiwanese BL gods had originally intended us to watch, hmph. My commentary below only reflects my thoughts on this first version. I'm gonna allow myself to be old and crabby and say, "BAH! We didn't revise episodes back in *mah* day!" to excuse myself from watching it and I'm an old mom, I have no fuckin' time to watch a revise, so so sorry fam lmaooo ok byeeeee)

So -- I'll repeat what I think a lot of us have thought about the final arcs of Unknown, and where I could have used more of the delicate, thoughtful exploration about family roles and boundaries that the first nine episodes of this show displayed. These are the elements that drew me to the show, as well as Yuan's general spiciness and empathic intelligence towards Qian.

Anyone who reads around here knows that themes that I'm driven by include Asian intergenerational trauma and Asian family systems and dynamics. This show (here, here, and my tag) -- oh lordo, this show tackled expected, internalized, and externalized roles and responsibilities within families head-the-fuck-on, at least for the first nine episodes.

Let me state the obvious first: this show veered off the highway a bit too early to demonstrate that, WOW, Qian really is the

HORNIEST MAN ALIVE, WOW, EVER --

(dang dude, you really needed to get down EARLIER and MORE OFTEN, because that IN-OFFICE AFTERGLOW, MY MAN, like, listen, I'm down for the post-nut vibes! all support and celebration and respect, but also, we need to delegate these tasks, we're on the clock, you are a co-owner of this company, back to work! chop-chop)

and MAN, could I have used a quick wave of a flag or hand that his deficit for love, care, and tenderness would hit at THAT SPECIFIC angle (HEH HEH) so very quickly and VERY INTENSELY at the start of episode 11. That took me out. I had to just scream at @lurkingshan. I watched that episode IN PUBLIC, PEOPLE!

We were missing some steps there. It was a FABULOUS actual love scene. But I could have used more of

1) Yuan contemplating the reality of what was going to go down BEFORE that scene began, and

2) To see Qian enter that moment as well. Instead, we hit the sheets, and had to process that very intense scene WITH flashbacks, which, whew, was a whole thing, all while I was just kinda literally screaming.

Those flashbacks were supposed to tell me that Qian had come to terms with Yuan's lifelong longing, but the down-dirty confirmed that for me before I was ready to get to the same mindset that Qian had started that scene with. The very important timing and pacing of the emotional exploration and reveals that we had been presented with in the previous episodes was jettisoned for the booty.

So, yeah. That was out of order.

What I also missed in these episodes was, as I stated earlier, the previous and very intentional exploration of family roles and boundaries that this show was playing with prior to the last three episodes.

With this emotional line concluding in episode 10, Qian showed us consistently that his struggle with negotiating his older-brother-and-fatherly responsibilities was his biggest burden, alongside the lifelong processing of the abuse he had received at the hands of his mother, and his further processing of her death.

Qian and Yuan get together in episode 11, literally go out on a date, and Qian woos Yuan.

Qian's continued resistance to being open about his health to Yuan is extremely reminiscent of a parent (I think of Asian parents, but I think this is common to global parenthood) hiding a health status from a child. This part of the story was still an important one. Qian was STILL holding onto his understanding of his responsibilities to Yuan and Lili as a parent/older sibling figure. If he didn't get out of that surgery in perfect condition, he worried about their futures -- regardless of the facts that Yuan was self-sufficient, and Lili was both self-sufficient and supported by a loving partner. Because that's how so many parents are: no matter the stability of their children, parents will see children as their children.

What I liked about this storyline, and what I could have used a bit more of (ideally in an extra episode) WAS HOW YUAN'S FAMILY ROLE CHANGES AUTOMATICALLY BY BECOMING QIAN'S PARTNER.

Lili calls Yuan a "sister-in-law," but he also becomes a

brother-in-law, AND a stepdad, AND THEN ALSO BECOMES A VERY NOT TECHNICAL GRANDPA, ALONG WITH GRANDPA/UNCLE/OLDER BROTHER QIAN

AND, AND!

We see Yuan THEN CARING FOR QIAN as the younger brother he's always been, AND

AS QIAN'S PARTNER

which they're calling wife or sister-in-law in the show, which, bleh to gendered terms, but

THEY WERE GOING THERE WITH YUAN

but we didn't get enough of it.

THAT IS A HUGE CHANGE FOR YUAN.

HE IS EQUAL NOW!

We just didn't get enough exploration there. Because the show was centering Qian's narrative (which I don't blame the show for at all), and mans was in his post-boop vibe the whole time, that we didn't sit enough with the changing of these roles FOR THESE TWO MEN, and while Lili hinted at it, I would have liked just a few more minutes at the macro-high level to explore what this meant for this entire, wonderful family unit. This is just huge Asian family dynamics stuff regarding who has power, and how that impacts how Qian interacts with Yuan, how Qian has to internally process the growth of his "child," as it were, to be LITERALLY EQUAL to him as his partner; and also for Lili to contemplate as she regards Yuan now as someone partnered with her caretaker. Yuan now would kind of step into that role, as well. THAT'S HUGE for dynamics changing and rebuilding.

Let's also remember that San Peng transcends these boundaries, too, but it's a bit easier for him, because he hasn't lived in that house. But he's the family's benefactor, in a way, which both Yuan and Lili acknowledge. And his turning into a partner into the family is also a significant boundary-crossing.

Finally, Qian's concern for Lili. Yes, he was concerned for her career. He didn't want Lili to turn out like his mom.

I would have liked to have proof in that concern, literally. I say this as a mom.

Qian was missing something big. Lili's baby was going to be born into a nice big family unit that Qian was the creator and anchor of.

At least they had Qian and Yuan sitting on baby toys to end the series. Lili, truly, had nothing to worry about. The gay uncle-grandpas were going to be there to help raise the baby, because as an Asian viewer, I am going to assume the extended family's participation

(NOT ASSISTANCE! ACTIVE PARTICIPATION!)

in the raising of that child.

I'm not sure why Qian missed that, except for the very real reason of familial PTSD and intergenerational trauma from his mother. But San Peng was right there as Lili's partner and as the actual dad. And Qian was valid to have a concern. But that could have been a moment where Yuan, also, as a new equal "elder" of this newly readjusted family, could have reassured everyone that this baby was going to be born in a wonderful, close-knit, loving extended family.

These readjusted roles were not fully named and explored. If I were Lili, I know I'd be having that baby in the good hands of all of the men around me that would help me raise the kiddo in a happy and supportive environment.

One more point about the baby. We need more babies in BLs. We need to show men becoming fathers, people becoming parents. This is a right that all people have. We need more of it to emphasize that all people are deserving of the families that they want to create -- and truly, it was so BEAUTIFULLY SYMBOLIC that Qian would be such a good caretaker as to be blessed with further generations, because he literally cared so well for Yuan and Lili that they could bless him back with growing the family he tended to. We just didn't get enough sitting with that.

Finally! TF was up with that office vibe in the end. The tops, the bottoms, the public kissing. That we got that instead of the role explorations -- k, but the tone of all that was a little off, if it was meant to be comedic. And yes, I definitely took away that I was meant to ship Dr. Lin and Le Ge. I have NO IDEA why they were talking otherwise. Doc and Don are meant to, ya know, YA KNOW? Right? Ummm, lol.

All of this together is enough to put a touch of a damper on my memories of this show. I didn't end with a high.

But I ABSOLUTELY LOVED what this show accomplished through the first 10 episodes. All these complicated, delicious boundaries and roles and responsibilities being explored! It's a joy, as an Asian, to watch this being explored in a queer Asian show.

We ended on some tropey bumps, but I'm going to remember this show overall with fondness, and I'm ultimately very happy that this was my first Taiwanese BL. I can't wait to catch up in this space more in due time.